Celebrating the Daniel's squads birthday
Happy Birthday to the one, the only DANIEL BRUHL 🥳🥳🥳
Of course, I gotta do a little something in celebration so I thought I do what I do best and that is writing, more specifically headcanon time. I'll write for the Daniel characters I have watched and maybe if you guys want it I will write a short in-detail version one-shot of one of these headcanons
Though Zemo is a Baron and it is expected to make a big deal about his birthday, in honesty the thing he prefers the most is being able to spend the day with you. Not that he doesn't like big celebrations, he enjoys the attention. But he would much rather spend the day with you. It would start in the morning when he wakes up beside you and because it's his birthday he would insist you say in bed with him extra longer today so he can cuddle you and smother you with kisses. Zemo always likes to be the one in charge and pleasuring you, making your life as easy as possible so this is a day where you keep having to remind him that it's all for his own pleasure today. One such instance is that he always makes breakfast for you but today you insist on making breakfast for him and bringing it to bed. He would complement your skills and then would attempt to get you back into bed so he could treat you well in return but you refused as next on the list is presents! Now, what can you get a man who can afford everything already? Personal gifts. You get him some little things, like a necklace with a picture of the two of you inside it, a new watch, some new books, but the thing he treasures most is a photo album you have made of the two of you. He spends the next hour looking through it and smiling at all the photos and memories. The rest of the morning and afternoon is spent with you two travelling to his favourite places around the world. He loves being able to show you these places and being in your presence for them is enough for him. One place he had to go to though was the Sokoivan memorial. In the evening though is when things get wild as that's when the surprise party was planned. Lots of people are there, friends with power and money, people who he probably shouldn't be friends with. But also good, average people as well he had come to know. You even managed to convince Bucky and Sam to drop by and Zemo was all too happy to see them and convince them to drink. He naturally was on the dance floor, getting drunker and drunker and the dancing got more and more ridiculous. At last, when the party has died down and you and Zemo retire for the night finally you let him have the one thing he's been wanting for his birthday all day and that's spending the late evening in bed with you losing yourself in the throes of love.
Laszlo didn't like to celebrate his birthday. As a child there never really was much to celebrate, his own parents didn't care too much for it. Maybe he would get a gift or two in the morning but that was it. Plus for someone who managed to butt their nose into things people didn't really want him to, he disliked attention, or more specifically attention upon him. John knew when Laszlo's birthday was, not because Laszlo had told him, he managed to find out accidentally and although John tried to insist he celebrate it Laszlo always refused. John had tipped you off though on his birthday and so when the day came Laszlo was surprised to find you up in bed with a pile of gifts for him. His cheeks blushed at the fact you had spent money on him and had planned this nevertheless he thanked you for the gifts and carefully opened each one. They were all books, books upon new psychology research that you knew Laszlo had been interested in reading. Laszlo adored the fact that you knew exactly what he wanted. The rest of the day was spent quite calmly. You respected his wishes and didn't tell anyone else that it was his birthday so they all treated the day as if it was the same, apart from Cryus and Stevie who you just had to tell and they had put their money together to buy Laszlo a new cane as his other one was wearing. During one point of the day, you pulled Laszlo away from his work so you could do some reading together as you insisted though he wanted to treat this day normally he had to have some sort of a break. In the evening you informed him that the two of you were going out to dinner with John, Sara. Marcus and Lucius. It was a quiet affair, a simple dinner where they all wished him a happy birthday and made a small toast but Laszlo felt so happy being surrounded by his closest friends and getting to spend this time with them. When you got home Laszlo pulled you into a deep kiss and thanked you for making him the best birthday he's ever had.
Andrea loved to celebrate his birthday. Like a child, he was counting down the days and was extremely excited when the day arrived. It was him waking you up letting you know it was his birthday today. Of course, you had given him lots of gifts and he excitedly opened every single one and hugged you each time tightly in thanks. One of his favourite gifts was a jumper you had knitted for him and although the day was warm he insisted he would wear it. Next on the list was going to see Janet and Ursula. They also had lots of gifts for Andrea and like as if he was their own child they had prepared a feast for his lunch, giving him lots of little snacks and douting on him. And although Andrea might blush at all the attention you knew he loved it. You two spent the evening walking around on the beach and the fields. He held your hand tightly and would find little things he thought were nice and give them to you. You two would lie out in the field, looking up at the sky and saying what you thought the clouds looked like and he would hold you in his arms tightly, occasionally placing kisses upon your cheek. In the evening you took him down to the village hall where everyone had come together to throw him a celebration. There was dancing, there was music, there were drinks. Andrea lost himself in the excitement of it all. He would be shaking everyone's hand who wished him a nice birthday and he insisted on playing the violin for everyone. He would drink more than he could cope with and in the end, you would have his arm draped around his shoulder, taking him home. You would help look after him and get him to bed and as he hugged you tightly he would whisper to you 'thank you' on repeat till he finally dozed off.
Niki's birthday was during a race, and so although he liked to celebrate his birthday the race was most important to him. In the morning he would wake up and say that as it was his birthday and for a good luck charm for today's race, you two should sleep together. Of course, you did. You had gotten him a few gifts, based around cars and while he appreciated them, his mind was focused on the race. Everyone knew it was his birthday though and as they passed him they would clap him on the back and wish him a happy birthday, even James, being sports-man like briefly muttered a happy birthday to Niki. You watched anxiously as he raced and as luck would have it, he won the race! He had a bright smile plastered on his face as he won to grab his trophy and when he opened the bottle of champagne. When he finally managed to get back to you he pulled you into a fierce kiss. The celebration afterwards now was not only for winning but for his own birthday. Drinks all around, the crew had managed to bring some party food in, they even managed to bring him a cake which he cut and gave you the first slice. Most of the night he was at the party celebrating and you two didn't really get much time alone till much later when he pulled you away. He thanked you for everything and apologise for how distant he had acted this morning, for once he kissed you very gently then hand in hand he guided you home.
A/N: I just wanted to say in the past few months all of these characters have become to mean so much to me, heck they pulled me out of my writing slump and I've grown to adore them and Daniel so much. This fandom is beautiful and I can't thank you guys enough for all the support you have shown me and all the love together we have shown for Daniel and his brilliant acting, and cheers to seeing lots more of Daniel in films in the future 🥂
TAGS: @shrekboobies @arianalilyblack @wonderwoman292 @justreadingficsdontmindme @thehuiabird @that-stupid-head-tilt-thing @zemosimp420 @kadeuuijib @lieutenantn @neoarchipelago @cable-kenobi @edencherries @faustlyaccused @julyvegan @prestigious-tea @hannahbal-the-fannibal @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @competitivepomegranate @welcometothemxdhouse @flutterskies @rumblelibrary @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sky-writes-stuff @mywinterivy @barneswidow @checkurwindow @babayaga67 @spookycereal-s @hb8301 @mylifeispainandiloveit @zemo-is-my-muse @xxlumos @cathana2264 @ajokeformur-ray @nev3rfound @unbeatablecurlgirl
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Could you just do something where zemo has a trans male partner, I really don’t care what it is I just wish there was more zemo x trans male content
yes of course!!
Zemo with a FTM trans! s/o
summary: hcs for zemo having a ftm trans!s/o
pairing(s): helmut zemo x reader
warnings: mention of transphobia + homophobia
taglist: @thesuitkovian @charistory
when you first come out to zemo, he'd be incredibly understanding
zemo is a very smart man who does his research and I'm sure he'd already be making up a list of ideas in his head of how to make you feel more comfortable
If you had met him and come out to him before transitioning, he would go to the ends of the earth to help you through the process (making sure you were comfortable with it before obviously)
whenever you are feeling insecure, he always reminds you of how much loves you and wants you to be happy
all of the products he owns for you are of the best quality
he always takes you out to buy you more masculine clothing whenever you want, no matter what the price
if you wear binders, he would buy 10+ of them for you to try and see if they work and if you feel comfortable in them
if you wanted to get top/bottom surgery, instantly zemo would set up a time and date with a reliable doctor and make sure that you get the finest care
zemo is incredibly protective around you, especially in public
if he saw anyone giving you dirty stares or scoffs, zemo is prepared to confront them and even throw a few punches if needed
if someone were to call you a slur or openly insult you, oh boy
he's already got their death planned out in his head and is fully prepared to carry it out
some days that you are feeling dysphoric, he would comfort you in any way you'd like
he constantly reminds you of how much you mean to him
zemo loves calling you handsome
all around, zemo is a very respectful boyfriend and would protect you at any moment he could
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Disclaimer: these are all my personal headcanons and opinions (besides a few) and all are from the mcu not comics :) aswell as that this is my first head cannon post so enjoy ig :D
Baron (helmut) zemo:
he/they enby and pan
gender fluid and pan
he/they trans bi
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//is it just me or does anyone (of you buckys) also share my headcanon for him (aka my bucky muse) where he only allows others to call him ‘Bucky’ if he knows them and if they had known or had been close with Steve? It’s a members only exclusive club that basically only Sam, Sharon, T’Challa, and Shuri and maybe the original surviving Avengers and team cap are now members of? oop (Sarah is a special case because of Sam, Ayo and Okoye doesn’t call him that)
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I'm convinced that if Clint Barton and Helmut Zemo ever got to sit down and talk in the MCU they'd end up getting along a little too well. Firstly because Barton seems like the only Avenger (besides Wanda) at the destruction of Sokovia who legitimately cared and would apologise for their part in it. Secondly because of their job history. Thirdly because they both have scarily similar coping mechanisms for losing their families and would share an understanding.
I have a lot of thoughts about this, especially about them being devoted family men.
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Headcanons for reactions of Zemo being with a reader that has stretch marks (legs or stomach,... because of weak tissue😂) and maybe is self conscious about them when he can see them (in different angles))? :)
As someone who has stretch marks, I've been looking forward to writing this as soon as it came into my ask box.
- When Zemo first got to know you always wore trousers, leggings, anything that covered your legs and he didn't think twice about it. After all in the line of work, you were in being able to move quickly and easily was essential.
- But truly the main reason you wore them, even when you were in hot places was that on your knees and thighs you had stretch marks. They were dark and you felt that if people looked at you they would be able to see the marks a mile off. You felt ashamed of them though there was no reason to. You didn't know why they had appeared, and you hated that you had them, unlike your peers. You wanted to go back to the time before you had them but now they were stuck on you, they might fade in colour but the scars would remain.
- That's why even when you and Zemo finally started to date, you still were very cautious about letting him see them which meant certain activities were off the table for now. After all, if you found them ugly then surely Zemo would find them ugly as well. You didn't want to see how bad his reaction might be to them and you were ashamed for him to see such things.
- Zemo was a gentleman and understood that you didn't want to be rushed into things and so he never pushed you. He would wait for you.
- There came the time when he would eventually see them. You knew this but it came sooner than you would have liked. On one mission you were on with him you were shot in the leg. You were unable to get to a hospital so Zemo ran to grab everything he needed to help the wound and unfortunately that meant for you that you needed to take your trousers off so he would be able to treat you.
- You didn't like seeing them appear as you tug off your trousers and as Zemo sits down to wrap up your leg, you have to look away from him, not wanting to see his face as he looks at them. If Zemo notices them, he doesn't say. Instead, he reassures you about the wound and kindly treats you.
- After he had bandaged you go to pull the trousers over your leg, at least to cover up the scars but Zemo's hand reaches out to grasp your wrist, stopping you. Finally, you turn to look him in the eyes and you could tell by the way his eyes bore into yours that he had finally realised.
- You both don't say anything for a moment, you stare into the eyes of each other till eventually, Zemo's hand reaches over to your leg, tracing the scars upon them lightly. "They are beautiful" he murmurs and at that point, you almost broke down into tears.
- You still hated your stretch marks and though slowly in time you grew more confident in being able to wear shorts you still hated the way they looked and how Zemo could see them but every time he would reassure you that he loved you and that he didn't see them as ugly.
- One night he took off his own top and showed you the scars he got over the years, ones that he felt self-conscious about as well but he felt enough comfort from you to be able to show them to you.
- When you two first decide to sleep together Zemo spent at least ten minutes covering them in kisses, muttering praises against your leg and thigh about how you were more radiant than venus herself, that even the moon in all her glory couldn't compare to the beauty of you.
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thinking about writing a headcanon about zemo and loki working together …. hm
• zemo’s dry humor in response to loki’s hit
• loki demeaning zemo for his lack of powers and zemo pointing out that he’s been successful in his objectives while loki hasn’t
• also pointing out that zemo, not loki, managed to break up the avengers despite loki having powers
• would be even better if this was back and forth banter, or if the two were forced to work together but warmed up to each other
• not even a romantic pairing just a buddy one
i might need to actually do this
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Okay so since this is a sleepover. Steve, Bucky and Zemo. What kind of sleepwear they'd choose. And what kind of sleepwear you'd choose to wear for a cuddling time with them? (Cuddling time could entail smut or fluff or anything💎)
I love that you’re having me think up sleepover headcanons with them! These kind of derailed into mostly fluffy/soft cuddling and what it’s like to take care of/be taken care of by them late at night or in the early morning, so I hope you don’t mind!
Steve’s a human furnace, so he’s perfectly happy in loose pants and no shirt, or maybe a tank top if it’s marginally chilly. It helps, of course, that you’re a fiend for blanket nests and wearing the pajama shirts that technically come with the sets you buy him, so you two form a complete set at night when he wraps you up in a blanket and takes you to the bed. Sleepovers are something he’s used to thanks to the all-nighters you still pull (and he still thinks you work too hard, but he’s one to talk), so he usually sets up a blanket fort in the living room to give you someplace comfortable to nestle in for the night, no matter how stressed you are.
If you’re not actually working on something, he’s a menace to your concentration, no matter what you’re watching. His favorite way to cuddle is to have you in his lap, tucked into the crook of his neck so he can steal kisses just by turning his head, and also because the hand not wrapped around your waist is constantly making a map of your body against his, like he’s got to memorize the way you feel in his arms (hint: it’s home, and he’s finally home, with you).
These are his favorite moments. He pictures them in his minds eye when he’s in his drawing studio — yes, the one you specifically commissioned for the house you two built together after your marriage, because yes this is post-marriage cuddling LET ME INDULGE — and they’re his favorite sketches.
There’s one framed in your living room.
Bucky’s a t-shirt and sweatpants kind of guy too, and he radiates a lot of heat himself, so he’s usually lost the t-shirt about thirty-minutes in to cuddling with you. Usually you’re the one who initiates the sleepover, grabbing him from wherever he’s been lost in thought and dragging him to the couch so you can hold him. Here’s the thing — he loves going to sleep with you tucked in his arms, curled up close but when you’re cuddled up on the couch, it’s completely different. He lays on you and you spend most of the night playing with his hair, telling him stories from your day or humming to him because the sound of your voice keeps him from losing himself in his memories. “Sleepover” time is self-care time, and you both need it regularly.
He feels like he’s safest right here, and the first time he tells you that, you tell him it’s true. He will always be safe with you in his arms. Home is the scent of hot cocoa on the coffee table and the fact that you always put extra marshmallow fluff in his.
Helmut’s a little too punctual for late night sleepovers — he falls asleep too early to enjoy them and wakes up too early for you to trust him about it. However. On the rare night that he’s awake? Sleepless from the ghosts of his past whispering in his ears, he’s dressed in fine silk pajamas and a warm robe, usually puttering around the kitchen for tea to help him sleep. You’re awake too and you always intervene, introduce him to the magic of warm milk and honey — a recipe he knows well, but he insists you do it best (the secret ingredient is how much you love to care for him).
Sometimes he’ll wake up in the morning and you’ll still be awake. Maybe it’s your own nightmares, or that work project keeping you up. Doesn’t matter, the dark circles around your eyes tell him everything and he just plucks you from your desk — ignoring your protests every time — to take you to bed. He’ll stay in bed with you on those days, holding you until you fall asleep and you’re usually in whatever comfy clothes you wore before you started hunkering down for work.
Honestly with all three of them, you’re beautiful to them no matter what you’re wearing, but most of the time you’re wearing their clothes to sleep in, surrounded by their cologne and safe.
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I would lick baron Zemo’s boots tbh
do I blame you? no
however, I raise you: you and zemo being badass mob bosses and you’re taunting your enemy and making them lick his (and your) boots instead
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Zemo asking you to call him Helmut for the first time 🥺
HE SAYS IT BEFORE KISSING YOUR FOREHEAD AND HE JUST SMILES AT THE GRIN YOU GET, AND HE REALIZES HOW MUCH HE LOVES THE SOUND OF HIS NAME FROM YOUR LIPS
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I feel like Zemo would be into having his hair tugged on
pulling Zemo’s hair would be my literal dream. It looks so soft too 🥺💘
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Sorry, about my last ask: could it be sfw please? And could it be unestablished relationship between reader and Zemo please? Your blog is amazing. I hope you are not feeling too much pressure
From this ask:
HC zemo x Ice cream seller! reader
AN: aww thank you! You're really sweet! Sometimes it's a bit overwhelming but I try to take it easy. I'm always afraid to take too long to answer requests or not writing something the person would like .. but hey! It's life... I hope you'll enjoy these!
Warnings: shouting, rude behavior, slight violence but really slight.
Head empty just:
You had been working at the ice cream stall for some weeks now. You enjoyed the job, it wasn't too hard and seeing the children with happy smiles everytime they got an ice cream brightened your day.
Unfortunately not everyone was nice. You had the usual Karen's obviously but never anything too drastic.
This afternoon was particularly busy. The sun brought many customers in and you had been working almost non stop.
Finally when a little moment of peace settled in you sighed, taking a sip of your water bottle.
It was then that you noticed a man approaching. He looked different from your usual customer. He was tall, his brown hair nicely brushed in place, brown eyes shining with something different. He was handsome that you couldn't deny.
"Hello, may I get 3 ice creams please?"
His voice was tainted with an accent but oh Lord did he sound nice.
"Of course what flavors would you like?" You asked.
Someone cleared their throat behind him and you almost rolled your eyes. another man stood there, frowning.
"Are you gonna take long? I just want an ice cream."
His tone was rude. You saw your initial customer raise an eyebrow before smirking. He stepped back, and with a sign of the hand let the man walk to you to order.
"Hi, what-" "get me a chocolate ice cream." He interrupted you.
You put on your best customer service smile as you answered ' of course'
As you scooped and prepared the ice cream you could hear the man sigh. You were trying your best not to roll your eyes. But you glanced at the other man patiently waiting. He kept scanning the rude customer.
"There you go, would you like anything else?" You kept your tone as charming as you could.
"No." The man added slamming some money on your counter, making you slightly jump.
You could have sworn you saw your patient customer almost jump to interfere but he simply eyed the rude man as he walked a few steps away.
You sighed and took back your attention to your only customer now.
"I'm sorry about that…" you tried.
"It's none of your fault. Do you often get rude customers?" He asked.
"Not always… it happens'' you shrugged looking away.
Unfortunately it wasn't over for you. "HEY". You jumped, frowning a bit at the man who shouted. You saw your patient customer frown and sigh in frustration as he turned around to look at the man.
"What kind of crap is this?! You call that ice cream?!" "I'm sorry… would you like a refund-" "I don't want your refund! Where do you even get these things?!" "I-I don't know ... I just work here I don't buy the-" "YOU NEED TO TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY"
The man walked closer, finger pointing at you. You tried to blink away the tears that were threatening to fall, as you held onto the counter.
Zemo immediately noticed the tears. He was already furious at the outrageous behavior of the man but now he was out of line.
"I'd advise you to lower your voice. She offered you a refund." He said in a warning tone.
"Mind your own business!" And a finger pointing at ZEMO was all that it took for him to act.
Grabbing the man's pointing hand he twisted until he spun around trapping it behind his back. His other hand held the back of the man's neck, pushing him down with force on the counter.
You yelped and stepped back. Eyes wide in shock. Did your patient customer just karate the rude man?
"I told you to lower your voice. Now apologize to the lady." ZEMO threatened in a low voice.
Your focus was stuck on ZEMO to even listen to the half hearted apologies.
"Learn some manners will you. That is no way to talk to a lady, even when you are not satisfied." He sermones the man still in his grasp.
Finally he let him go, pushing him away from the stall. You rarely saw a man run away as fast. ZEMO was seething but composed himself in front of you.
"My apologies. I didn't mean to frighten you." "It's alright… Thank you for helping." You said with a little smile. He winked at you with a little smirk.
"So.. what flavor would you like in your ice cream?" You finally said.
"Oh of course." He suddenly remembered why he had come here in the first place.
"I'll add another free scoop for each. For my knight in shining armor." you said, blushing a bit. He chuckled.
"You are too nice. But please, just add a free scoop to this one. The other two aren't as deserving as me." He added with a mischievous smirk.
You simply smiled, wondering who might he be talking about.
Poor Sam and Bucky were oblivious when ZEMO came back with a bigger ice cream than theirs.
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Skinny dipping with Zemo 👀
He’d love it. Zemo would end up fucking you in the pool. Just the sight of you would have him weak, and he’d love the danger of possibly getting caught too.
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New Head-canon: Sharon Carter was working with Zemo since Civil War.
Think about it! Imagine:
Pre-Civil War, Zemo approaches Sharon in order to covertly learn more about the Avengers, particularly Steve. Sharon finds him out but, much to his surprise, she agrees with his end goal of destroying the Avengers. They hatch the plan together.
Sharon knows when she hears about the Accords that Steve won’t go for it so she sabotages Peggy’s medicine. She knows Peggy’s death will make Steve emotionally vulnerable.
Zemo makes his attack in a place that Sharon has jurisdiction so she will be involved in the investigation. He has Sharon leak Bucky’s location to Steve first to further put Tony and Steve at odds.
They have to readjust their plans a little because Tony doesn’t come to Germany ready for a fight. A one sided fight between Steve and Tony wouldn’t accomplish their goal, so they engineer Bucky, Zemo, Steve and Sam’s escape. Sharon then furnishes Steve and Sam with their gear ensuring that Steve is prepared to fight Tony when the time comes.
Zemo pays Sharon for her help before going to Siberia with no intention to return.
She uses that money, along with stolen government secrets, to set herself up in Madripor and become (or replace) the Power Broker.
Zemo keeps an eye on her even from prison, which is why he takes Sam and Bucky immediately to Madripor once freed.
He easily deduces Sharon is the Power Broker and they make a tenuous alliance to, once again, use Sam and Bucky to achieve their ends: Zemo wants the serum, the scientist, and the existing super-soldiers destroyed, while Sharon wants the pardon Sam is offering, to send a message by killing Karli who betrayed her, and to prevent anyone else from getting the serum before her -- even agreeing to destroy it rather than let it fall into other hands.
Sharon was able to kill Karli in New York and worked with Zemo’s butler to organize the deaths of the remaining Flag Smashers. She got her pardon and Zemo got his peace-of-mind knowing that all the serum was destroyed or used. So they both got what they wanted.
Tell me why it wouldn’t make more sense than it doesn’t!
(I kinda like Evil!Sharon way more than Turncoat!Sharon or MorallyGray!Sharon.)
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congrats on 400! 📝
this is a silly headcanon, but how do you think any character of your choice would react to you catching them watching their guilty pleasure tv show? (and what would the guilty pleasure show be?)
Thank you, Neptune!! 🥺🥺💖💖💖
I love this headcanon, it's not silly at all! I ended up... going a lottle overboard with it though, so please enjoy headcanons for: Helmut Zemo, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, and Andy Barber, all under the cut because it's long and I'm... a lot.
Thank you for the opportunity to think too much about them, and now I wish I was curled up with all of them watching whatever show they want.
Guilty Pleasure Show: Agatha Christie’s Poirot (featuring David Suchet)
He enjoys murder mysteries, things that puzzle the mind, and even though he insists the directors put enough clues into the episodes to help anyone solve them, he’s often frustrated when the twist makes no sense.
Catching him watching Poirot is an interesting experience — he’ll always invite you to watch, happy to let you curl up next to him on the couch even though Suchet’s voice inevitably makes you fall asleep. What will wake you is Helmut muttering curses under his breath at an absurd twist that derails the entire course of the mystery, suddenly pointing to a random element as the murderer instead of the person the show made you suspect all along. He very rarely loses his temper, especially not at a television show, but his disappointment in poor writing is often worse than his anger anyway.
Guilty Pleasure Show: Great British Bake-Off and Blown Away
Yes, both of these, because he vacillates between enjoying food shows — Great British Bake-Off is just an example, he’s completely find watching Anthony Bourdain and does not count anything by Alton Brown a guilty pleasure because he still uses those episodes to experiment in the kitchen when he insists on making dinner because he knows you’re too tired — and snickering under his breath at the fact that they call the glass ovens in Blown Away “glory holes” and other in-show innuendos.
He often watches guilty-pleasure shows like these as background noise, when he’s drawing or when he’s just settling down for bed and you’re working too late to join him, but on the occasion that you catch him watching, he’ll usually just flash you that perfect, sheepish smile and offer to change the show. You never agree, because why would you want to take away the thing that brings him joy, even if it’s secret between the both of you? You just offer to let him lay in your lap instead while he watches, so he can relax for once and you can play with his hair while you both watch — and critique the glass-art with all the cruelty of the judges (and sometimes more).
Guilty Pleasure Show: Literally any space documentary and no, it doesn’t have to be recent
Though haunted by his past, Bucky Barnes does try to look towards the future, and there’s something hopeful about documentaries about space and the mysteries of the universe that make him feel… calm. He loves putting them on and just laying down, watching until he falls asleep and Netflix starts questioning whether he’s still paying attention.
Whenever you catch him like this, he’s honestly usually fast asleep. It’s actually adorable, really, how peaceful he looks. You usually just tell Netflix that yes he’s still watching and then proceed to tuck him into bed.
Guilty Pleasure Show: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
He’s not actually guilty about this — he can and will shoehorn Crazy Ex-Girlfriend songs into everyday conversation with you and you will always roll your eyes at him when he does. He’s taken you to at least one Crazy Ex-Girlfriend concert live, and no he’s not sorry. In his defense, it was excellent and you thoroughly enjoyed it.
Usually, you’ll catch him watching the show late at night because he can’t sleep, and it’s always just the highlights of his favorite episodes instead of actually watching for the plot. Sometimes you’ll catch him singing but not always — you just put your headphones in and let your podcasts run when he gets really into it, tucking yourself against him and having a lazy night doing whatever you want. Doesn't matter, as long as the two of you are together.
Guilty Pleasure Show: Boston Legal (yes, with William Shatner and James Spader)
Look. As a lawyer, I know other lawyers. We love to hate legal dramas because they’re unethical, get the law wrong, and usually result in us getting clients coming in saying, “Well I saw James Spader in Boston Legal and he did…” and they never believe us when we tell them it’s a show and that’s not how things actually work in the courtroom.
But he loves it.
He loves watching all the nonsense they get up to in the show, he loves roasting the bad legal theory — he has an entire notebook dedicated to the bad legal theory, it’s genuinely comical— and if you catch him watching it, he’ll usually just flash you a sheepish grin before inviting you to join in and mock the show with him.
He does slightly admire Spader’s gumption though — and occasionally gets ideas for how he wants to treat you in the office.
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📝so Zemo’s definitely got baking skills, what other talents is he hiding? 📝
Okay so this headcanon is wholly self-indulgent because I am absolutely obsessed with fountain pens and I feel like Helmut Zemo would be the type to own this pen-and-cigar-lighter-snowglobe-abomination that fills me with rage on a regular basis.
I, like a cat, would knock that over at first opportunity, and he can punish me for it but I’m not apologizing that thing is an abomination.
The pens could be weapons, if the both of you were not so scandalized by the idea of bending the tines by letting them hit bone. He writes your name beside his in wine-red ink and laughs when you show him the label — Writer’s Blood, how fitting — and the letter is delivered to the fire.
His hand is all the more practiced — a Baron knows his duties are not just kill squads and special forces — but yours carries its own charm, stuttering, learning, he draws the shapes for you to follow and it feels a little mocking save for the praise in his smile when you manage the right flourish.
He needs no feather quill, no pomp or circumstance — though he has plenty, and you eye the abalone-encrusted barrels with too-cautious suspicion, wonder if ink has ever touched those brass insides. It is an act of care, just as all he does is, measure the pressure of his wrist, the angle of his palm, remember the position of his fingers and you should have expected a Baron to know these things but a Baron and the man before you are always so different in their own way.
A tragedy the old manufacturing style has gone out of fashion, he laments as if he might have wandered those factories himself and you roll your eyes once more, at another complaint about inflexible nibs.
And your fingers are both stained red with ink by the time it is done but it is done, a hundred letters to the ghosts of your past, their remnants ashes in his fireplace and perhaps the souls will read what is left behind.
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Sorry but this is horny 😩 Zemo 100% moans while he’s giving YOU head and he talks a lot ,, in many languages ..,,
yesss 🥵 his hips rutting against the bed and sokovian echoing against your 🐱
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What is currently living rent free in my head:
Zemo is actually a massive karaoke fan and if there had been a karaoke machine in the bar in Madripoor he would have had Sam and Bucky up there singing Backstreets Back and dancing his ass off with complete abandon.
Sam and Bucky's wtf faces would be legendary.
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i headcanon that in the raft Zemo writes letters to people like bucky sam and sometimes the other avengers but he never sends them. This is him making amends with them. He also writes letters to his wife son and father
oh gosh that's so heartbreaking but i can see that too :( theres a little corner in the drawer of the table by his bed and it's just stacked with letters that he'll never send
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Send ⭐️⭐️⭐️ (or multiple) for a headcanon about our muses.
⭐️ Zemo is a scheming bastard there’s no secret about that, but what he wants is fairly straight forward and Ava appreciates the consistency of his moral code. Normally she wouldn’t trust somebody of his nature because he’s clearly always got some twist play, but it’s easy enough to align herself with his goals and beliefs. But she might not explicitly say so to him either, carefully watch his actions and how everything plays out. But once things get messy, Ava will bail Zemo out.
⭐️ She’s not quite sure if he’s deliberately tracking her or if they have the same schedule, but they always end up in the kitchen at the same time. Which frustrates Ava at first because she has a lot of struggles she wants no witness to. But he’s already heating up water for his own tea and seems to leave enough for her so she appreciates it.
⭐️ Ava always steals the puzzle section out of Zemo’s newspaper. She has no idea if he notices or not. Until one day he gets her a sudoku book. :3
Lol they have no business being cute.
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