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#zee i fucking LOVE you
lolacouldnotcareless · 2 months ago
beautiful piece, no lyrics, it’s okay just take the time to appreciate the piano first kdjdsk then second round! :3
jdhsjsjwkakw third round, dear? ;3
here i the translation used :3
Though I try to hold it back everyday, though I try to hang in there / But it’s not working so well, I need your hand now
In moments like those, when tears fill your eyes, hold my hand tight. / Should we run away?...
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yeoldotcom · 2 months ago
hey! I've been a fan of your work for a while and I literally (today) opened an account for myself and posted, but I'm still very new to the whole tumblr thing... could you explain to me how you managed to get exposure to your work? thank you! ♡
HELLOO !!! HIII !!!! AHHHHH !!!! first of all 🙂🤚🏼 "fan"???? 😵💘💘💘 bye i'm going insane pls that's ddjjdjdjdj wow okay thank u i love u so much wow that's 🥲 oh my god 💘💘💞💖💞💞💖💓💕
secondly !!!!! IM SO EXITED FOR UUUU !!!! 🥳🥳 welcome to tumblr !!!!!! i kind of answered this type of question here but !!! i also just wanna add a few more things just to help you out !!!!
tags are number one. i've said it before n i will say it again !!!!! tags !!!!! u need them !!!! as many as u can !!!!!! people can't see your work unless u use tags so use a bunch and use the most popular ones you can that still pertain to your work !!!!!!
also, i've seen a lot of people talk to other writers and try to get them to read over their work when they post it and honestly, that may work too !! i, personally, wouldn't know because i was too much of a pussy to message any other writers on here when i was first starting out (and still now) but honestly it wouldn't hurt to message some people to try to get them to give you feedback on your work !!!
also reblogging your work throughout the day helps sometimes too since time zones are a thing and some people probably wouldn't have saw your work if you posted at a certain time but if you reblog a few times during the day or even through the week you can make sure that whoever was gonna see your work is Gonna See It.
this is kind of all my brain will allow me to say but !!!!! good luck !!!!! i'm excited for your journey and i hope you have fun!!!!!! main point is just have fun !!!!!!!! (and tag ur work heavily) enjoy yourself and what u post !!!! always 😌
#that's kind of all i have to say really !!! don't be too scared. the writing community here is so amazing honestly#i used to write on wattpa- 🤢🤮🤮 that website before i found out about the writing community here#and i was like OH FUCK YEAH THIS IS WHAT I NEED !!!!! although i never reached out to anyone else n i was basically a loner for a while#but still !!!!! most important tips from this: tags are A MUST !!!! and write what u wanna write when u wanna write it !!!!!#think of posting here something you're doing for you !!!! it's super easy to post things when you think of it like that#i'm super anxious about posting a lot of things but i tell myself 'zee u dumbass u forgot The Vision. this is For U' and then its all better#there will be someone (SOMEONE !!!!!!! AT LEAST) out there who will enjoy your work as much as you do !!!!#so don't stress about it. just have fun and do what u want 😌#everything in reality is fake anyways u got this !!!!!#also sorry if half of this doesn't make sense :D all my Word Make Sense juice went into that fuckin essay#and now i can't string together coherent thoughts 😐 she dumb or whateva#also djdjjdjd me: enjoy what u post#me as well: disliking half the things i posted through the years#NDKFNKDNFJFJ bye my excuse is i was Younger then#and i have more insight now than i did before#so basically not a good excuse BEJFBJFNFJFJ bye i'm 😐🤚🏼 i need to go to sleep#I HOPE THIS HELPED THOUGH !!! FUCK !!!! I NEVER KNOW SINDJFNFJ BUT I LOVE YOU AND IM EXCITED FOR U AND I HOPE U LIKE THE COMMUNITY#AND I HOPE U FEEL WELCOMED AND I HOPE U HAVE FUN !!!!!! NSJDNFJJF#the second u feel like it is becoming a chore u have to look back and think of why u started to post because writing should never be a chore#unless it's a fucking essay for a class BUT SIDNJFJFN seriously !!!! u get me right?????#anyways i love u and i wish u the bestest of luck#is that the saying???? idk it is
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erldan · 3 months ago
god u kno i fucking love kanaya too like. okay ive always been a HUGE sucker for charas that are like, mostly fitting into one specific Character Type but then they just have that One Thing that is like . so Messy or like Out Of The Left Field like its hard to descriebe but like ok. ok hang on
kanaya- shes generally super femme, like, the whole polite and quaint thing going on, shes got the makeup and the skirt, but then theres just like. that Touch of Going Completely Batshit with like. the unholy levels of Butch that comes with weilding a giant bigass loudass chainsaw. like idk i just think its so fucking . *does the chef finger kiss* muah
and then like. nepeta!!! the whole like. cute catgirl thing. but like she Subverts the “uwu nyah” thing by being like. ACTUALLY like a cat. by like killing shit and living in a cave and getting blood everywhere & her house probably stinks like shit like she probably smells super musty tbh. but like shes still very nice and cute and fun :) i love Trope Subversion basically
and then of course eridan like AGAIN him & kanaya like the fucking. hes Quaint hes Royalty hes this like. hes got this carefully constructed Persona hes a gay coded disney villain hes got the cape the faggy ass striped pants the stupid fucking scarf and then he whips out his weapon of choice and its just
Bigass Gun
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confused--castiel · 4 months ago
Happy almost Valentine’s Day to me, this year I get to sit alone in my house and watch the player I’ve loved my ENTIRE life play for a different team the day after the team he was forced to leave lost in regulation :))) (I am in a Mood today pls ignore me)
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gwendolynejones-stacy · 5 months ago
79, 82, 93 :)
zee, love please tell me you made a mistake with 79, because you know this
79. Who was your first real crush?
...we don’t mention her, backstabbing bitch
82. How fast can you type?
pretty fast, but i usually make a lot of typos
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?
i don’t want children...
get to know me uncomfortably well
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yeoldotcom · 5 months ago
oh wait can i vent really quickly
#so basically i don't really define my sexuality just bc it's confusing as hell like who u wanna like u know?#and my friend is bi and she keeps saying oh yea zee ur gorgeous and ofc i tell her she's also gorgeous because She Is#but today she was like 'no bc i'll fall for u' and my fuckboy-at-heart ass thought she was joking so i went along with it but turns out#she wasn't joking n then i was like well oop i'm actually not really emotionally available n stuff basically i'm the worst person to fall go#for#and i'm like i really hope ur joking like don't tell me u fell for me over a convo... 😳 like bro i'm so sorry i'm literally a fuckboy#i gave my heart to nct and exo what do u expect i literally cannot do real relationships unless it's either with chenle or hongwon 😐#and she's like no i was joking#so now i'm like OH AHAHAHAHHA THATS SO FUNNY WOW#and my brain is like LMAOOO U REALLY THOUGHT SHE LIKED YOU ???? U REALLY THOUGHT ANYONE COULD LIKE U??? U THOUGHT U WERE LOVEABLE???? LMAOOO#and so of course i got super ... sad (wasn't diagnosed w depression so i'm not about to say i was depressed) but i started to spiral#and think Bad Things and she's like we gotta stop or i'm actually gonna fall and i'm like lmao sis ion believe a fucking word u say anymore🌝#but it's funny because even though i was kinda bummed about her joking (she called me and was like I Wasn't Joking but i don't believe it)#a relationship wouldn't work between us bc although i can be attracted to girls i don't like relationships at all or pda and#i tend to lean more towards guys too and she's also not really my type (although i do think she's beautiful because she Is !)#so why was i even bummed out? and now it's gonna be weird bc i won't be able to think about anything else besides this event when we meet up#and we gotta meet to exchange gifts and idk it's just kinda weird it's almost 5am and i can't get this out of my head#like i don't like her romantically so why was i even fucking bummed ???? and it wouldn't go anywhere !!!!! and i would find it weird even#if we tried to have a relationship together !!!!!!! so WHY was i bummed and WHY am i still thinking about it??????#anyways that's a weird thing that happened to me today :/ or technically yesterday#tbh i might just be aromantic i can't see myself in a relationship at all and my brain won't ever let me think i'm capable of being loved or#loving someone else. besides the imaginary perfect people i make up in my head for scenarios and inspiration for stories#but anyways if u read this all the way through i'm so sorry and thank you so much ur amazing i love
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zeethebooknerd · 9 months ago
Wrote this real quick, I’m in a strange mood today. Have some softness! :D
[AO3 Link]
Word Count: 1875 words
Eddie thinks this is what belonging to someone means.
He doesn’t think it in a possessive manner, doesn’t think of it as staking a claim, doesn’t think of it as a way to earn ownership over an independent entity. Rather, he thinks that belonging to someone means that they have all these little parts, all these little nuances that one is made of — the good and the bad, the perfections and the flaws — and they choose to stay.
He thinks of this as Buck presses against his side, at three in the morning, where the station is nothing but a sea of stillness, overcome by the drowsy allure of sleep.
They don’t say anything — they’ve never had to. All it takes is one touch, one look to let each other know what’s going through their heads — it’s all it’s ever taken. 
He doesn’t know what he’s doing up, doesn’t know what prompted him to steer himself into the kitchen instead of the bunk rooms, doesn’t know why Buck came to find him. Despite the exhaustion carving its name in his bones, Eddie doesn’t think he can fall asleep.
But he sees the sleep lining Buck’s shoulders through the well-fitted T-shirt, sees it curve its way around golden skin, until it peeks at him, teasing him for something he can’t have.
Not quite yet.
Quietly, Buck leans forward to flick on the full kettle that Eddie had somehow forgotten about, slotting back into his side with all the ease of belonging. There’s a type of poetry to the way they snap together like magnets — as if they’ve spent millennia in this very spot, rooted to each other in the way of soulmates. 
They’ve talked about it — spent days trying to peel back every nook and cranny of their hearts, trying to learn to be open again, trying to press bruised words and feelings into each other’s skin with all the vulnerable energy that they could muster, even if the words weren’t quite as articulate. And bit by bit, it became easier to trust each other with a new facet of their hearts they’d spent so long denying.
Somehow, it hasn’t quite sunk in that this is his for the taking. 
The thought propels Eddie sideways, enough to sink into Buck and knock their temples together softly. Buck laughs softly at his insistence, but an arm comes around him anyway, curling around his waist to fit his fingers in the duvets made for him. Eddie feels like all of his skin was made to love Buck — every single part of him has somehow gravitated to everything Buck means to him.
It’s strange. For a man weathered by every form of love he’s seen in his life, still trying to build himself up while this very life kicks his feet out from under him over and over again, to earn a love as great as Buck’s...part of Eddie still doesn’t believe the other shoe won’t drop.
But he’s willing to fight to keep him close. He’s always been willing — with Buck by his side, he feels like he can do anything.
It was this drive to keep Buck close that led to a confession in the middle of Buck’s apartment, with nothing to blame it on — no alcohol, no sleep-drunk confessions, no Chris to serve as a buffer. Just three naked words, hanging above the counter top as Buck looked over at him with a wide grin, the dark of the night somehow brighter for it. 
Eddie remembers the contentment of not having to keep those words locked tight around him, of not having to hold his breath every time Buck wrapped himself around Eddie, just in case they left him in a burst of emotion.
In the end, they had. They’d left him in the middle of Buck reciting a long list of information on serial killers, of all things, and Eddie wasn’t quite sure what’d prompted him to say the words at that exact moment, but he’d cut off Buck’s tirade on The Scorecard Killer by laying his heart open for Buck to read.
A few short months later, and here they both were, standing with matching rings around their fingers.
His thoughts derail when Buck nudges a warm mug into his hands, the enticing scent of chamomile and honey tickling his nose. He fits right back into Eddie’s side, arms pressed together as Eddie brings the mug to his mouth, pressing his shoulder back into Buck’s in silent gratitude.
It’s this knowledge, this intuition of his fiancé’s that catches him off-guard, every single time. Buck always knows what he needs, always freely gives it to him, but never lets him stand on an irrational leg. 
And to some extent, Eddie knows that parts of him have helped Buck bloom, too. This exact intuition, this exact stand Buck takes to call him out on his bullshit...none of it has ever been part of any of their previous relationships. In Buck’s words, he knows he’s safe enough, he knows what his worth is and he knows Eddie’s not going anywhere even after they fight. He knows he can come forth and silently step into Eddie’s space without question.
To know that he gives Buck that security, Eddie almost marvels over it. Because before Buck, Eddie didn’t know what it meant to be so secure, so he understands how his partner feels about it.
He was so young the first young, and far too innocent for the twisted paths that laid his way. All he knew was to react — to do what felt the most right to him. He’d made so many mistakes, had made so many decisions that’d swirled between right and wrong before ultimately choosing the one that had the greatest percentage of right when all the factors were weighed together .
He remembers telling Buck that he’d enlisted because he told himself it was to pay the bills. He also remembers trailing off, remembers his best friend filling the blanks in for him.
But back then, all those months ago, Eddie was drowning in his own guilt, guilt that had no place to go, festering in him like a parasite.
Now, he realizes. He realizes that it was to pay the bills. What made him guilty was what the decision had done to his wife, what it’d done to his relationship with his family — not for signing his name on the line, because at the end of the day, it had paid the bills during the time where neither Eddie nor Shannon could keep their heads above the water. No matter how much he regrets staying away for so long, he knows that they wouldn't have been able to afford everything they needed to keep themselves afloat, especially with a child in the mix.
It was a realization that had been a long time coming. And when Eddie did finally realize it, it opened his mind to all these other flaws that he’d been raised with, the stereotypical nature of what a husband meant, the role of provider he’d so easily melted and solidified himself into without question. 
Now, all he can do is try to melt it back piece by piece, to raise his son with values that won’t hide who he is, to let him know that it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be sad, and most importantly, it’s okay to come to his dad when he needs anything. Here, he’s confident of this love between him and Buck being a partnership, one where they both bring things to the table that build each other up, not tear each other down.
Buck presses his lips against Eddie’s temple, letting him unwrap all of these thoughts carefully without a single word.
Setting the empty mug onto the counter, Eddie turns in his fiancé’s grip, tucking his face into the nook between neck and shoulder and just breathing in. Buck’s skin is sleep-worn and pliant under him, cooling with the chilled air of the firehouse, pulse steady and beating warmth into every cell of his body. 
These thoughts become a monster of jumbled threads when Eddie faces them all at once, all of them unraveling to the same conclusion, the same feeling of not deserving to be this content with his life. 
He knows it’s better than it was before. He knows the cosmic irony of getting two people that form every part of him, both of which so bright, so loving, so prone to wrapping around his bruised heart and making him whole again. He knows that he has to have put some good into the universe to deserve all of this in return.
Eddie lets out a soft exhale as he relaxes against Buck, curling into the arm around him as it fits yet another piece into his fragmented body, tucking his own arms between their chests — the way Christopher sometimes does. Here, he’s safe from any of the thorns that prick him on a daily basis, even if they've dulled over the years. He doesn't know if it's because of the man he's leaning on, or because Eddie's grown calluses to protect himself, but no matter the reason, he's grateful for it.
Parts of Eddie feel consumed by just how much he feels for Buck, the remaining parts belonging to Christopher who’d been his guiding light since even before he was born. Together, the two make up the best elements of him, fitting around his shadow like a silhouette of all the best qualities — he’s only a reflection of them in moments like these, and he couldn’t be prouder for it.
Buck makes a soft sound, unintelligible to anyone but Eddie who knows there’s a question hidden in the cadence of his fiancé’s voice, in the press of his fingers against Eddie’s waist, how one hand comes up to fit itself at his nape. 
Eddie curls his fingers around the metal ring he’d fished out of his locker just before coming up here, a reminder that he does have this, and even if he’s in Buck’s arms, it’s not an exhausted-fueled hallucination, not a mirage. In another couple of months, there’ll be another form of a ring on his finger, two within the span of the one year they’ve spent together like this, only cementing this reality they’ve built for themselves with every relationship they could — friends, best friends, co-parents, boyfriends...husbands.
He realizes he’s been silent too long, for the slight tension he can feel under Buck’s skin, and turns his head to wordlessly press a grateful kiss beneath his ear. His partner goes lax, holding him tighter and pressing a smile against the top of his head in an unabashedly intimate gesture.
Words fail him every time he comes forth to tell Buck what goes through his head when Eddie looks at him, the feeling that overcomes him in varying shades of fondness and affection, layered in some form of infinity because that’s how much he feels for him. 
So instead, he holds Buck close, hopes that’s enough, and vows that one day he’ll be able to put this infinite, limitless feeling of love and strength into words.
One day — but for now, he's content here.
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resurrecticn-a · 11 months ago
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    “Allen has been in love with you since you both were old enough to know what L O V E is. He still is in love with you. God, I can’t believe you’re so in DENIAL that you can’t even see the way he looks at you. Those sick puppy dog eyes, like you hung the fucking stars in the sky.”
                                                ft. iris anne west & bartholomew henry allen                                                                       credit: @villainsrph
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erldan · 12 months ago
literally one of my biggest goals for when i get financially stable is 2 just... buy a nintendo 64 so i can play hey you pikachu again hHSJSjkf
#zees#i had 2 go 2 this like shitty foster home when i was like 10(?) and the only good thing abt it was they had a n64 & a wii lmaO#ive been wanting 2 play a bunch of n64 games again for years :c#i remember i would like. play donkey kong & like diddy kong racing a lot but like .#i would almost never do any Quests or Racing i just really really really wanted to Explore the like. main areas?#like in diddy kong racing u can drive or fly or boat out to all these different doors that lead to different race tracks#but i never actually like . Went In There . id just get on the boat & go thru the ocean really really fast in whatever direction i wanted#id also do that with the plane too lmao id just fly super super fucking fast all over the map#and like in the donkey kong game they had like. it was kinda the same deal?#like theres this HUGE main island and you can just chill out there? but there were like teleport pads that took u 2 different worlds#but there were like Specific Quests n stuff like it was usually just 1 straight path#i didnt wanna do quests i just wanted 2 be a cool monkey & swim around in the ocean for like 5 hours#i think i like. reenacted stories in my head with them lmao it wasnt a Video Game 4 me it was just Advanced Daydreaming hHDJDNKF#i have a super super Distinct memory of like. being on a boat level which i actually loved a lot because Big Huge Boats and Water#and like. there were like... boat fragments in the water u could Climb On and i fuckin LOVED clambering onto shit#and like. i was playing as lanky kong & just chilling on a piece of metal out in the ocean & in my head i was like .#''i have been stranded on this piece of metal for days. my boat is missing and my crew is most likely dead.''#''i have been fishing for food with my very long arms. god save my soul''#HDJDKDMFMF#no games no rules no masters just Advanced Daydreaming using Monkeys as my Vessel
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capfalcon · a year ago
tagged by @daredeviil zee i fucking LOVE you oh my GOD
1. Name 4 fictional characters who showcase your personality the best, with explanations if you want.
natasha romanoff, probably. we’re both just. filled with vodka and rage and also i’ve been told by several people that we give off the same vibes, and i’m inclined to agree. sort of in the sense that you know someone will fuck you over, but also if you fuck with their friends, they’ll kill you? that’s me. and then sherlock holmes (specifically from elementary) i honestly based my personality around sherlock. it’s kind of stated that he’s not neurotypical, and throughout the whole show, he’s just “weird” and people don’t like him and he’s an outsider. and he just follows logic and reason and he doesn’t give a shit about formality or politeness. and he just basically says “fuck society,” and has his own strict moral code and i’m a lot like that. sirius black. he and i are both rocking the whole “black sheep of the family” sort of thing, and also i’m just a sarcastic piece of shit most of the time, so. merida, from brave. merida honestly means a lot to me, but like. we’re so similar. the whole sense of “fuck marriage, i want freedom,” the whole conflicted relationship with her mother, the growing and learning. and just her sense of adventure? i stay inside a lot but i’m kind of impulsive and stupid and i do a lot of dumb things that turn out to be fun but also probably dangerous?
2. Aesthetic
paint on fingers, big, oversized hoodies, tea stains, paintbrushes in mugs, pens everywhere, books stacked high, sunlight streaming through windows. blood on teeth, an empty ocean, waves crashing on rocks.
3. Favorite musical/play? (If you’ve never seen a musical or play, one you’d be interested in seeing?)
don’t like either, sorry
4. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received?
don’t know? probably whenever someone says “you made me cry” with my writing, or something like that. also anything @alexeishostakoff says about my writing, because eliza is a god, and when god compliments you, that kind of matters.
5. How many times have you been in love?
thankfully, none
6. Embarrassing story or fact about yourself that makes you laugh now?
one time i was at karate and they told me to kick this guy in the face and so i did but he moved wrong and so i actually kicked him and my foot slapped his face and my toenail scratched his cheek and he was bleeding and that was pretty bad
7. Favorite Disney/Pixar movie?
8. Favorite flower or plant?
i’m just really fond of jasmine. i grew up with them, and i think they’re so fucking. they’re like dainty and pretty and yet not at all conventional, which i like.
9. What’s your favorite holiday?
christmas!!! not religious but i love the “holiday spirit”
10. Name three things that made you laugh or smile this past week.
@daredeviil , now you see me 1, and now you see me 2
11. What song would you play to introduce yourself to someone?
probably catastrophize by noah kahan
12. Name something that truly makes you feel peaceful even at your most stressed moments.
bubbly, by colbie caillat 
13. What do you, did you, or would you study at college?
communications/media studies! literally u know all the times i’ve rambled about movies/social media? that
14. This is kind of a weird one, but which outfit of yours makes you feel most like yourself?
my pajamas? i know there’s that whole thing of like “dressing up makes you feel better/be more productive” but i literally hate normal clothing and when i’m in a shitty t-shirt and some shorts, i can paint or write or make anything i want 
plus im like. insecure? about clothing i really can’t make outfits to save my life and so when i look “nice” i always feel like i’m playing a part, because. i’m not good at clothing so when i do look good i’m not rlly. me
15. What is a quote you live by?
i don’t really have one, sadly. 
16. Name the funniest playlist name you have.
i have a playlist named “jigs” and it’s just all irish music and i have a playlist called “rando 2″ because i already made “rando 1″
17. Make a reference to an inside joke you have with someone you love with zero context.
duality and complexity
18. What is a message you would give your younger self if given the chance?
yo hey so one day ur gonna be eating lunch and staring at ur fish thinking about ur trauma and wondering how u didn’t do some bad things to urself and then ur gonna get rlly sad for like 5 hours basically just go drink some water u edgelord
19. Who is your favorite family member? (If you have no good blood family members, feel free to mention someone in your found family)
my niece, because she’s a baby, and she can’t talk
20. What’s a secret dream of yours?
to paint a wholeass wall. to just. paint the whole thing
tagging: @avengersandco @alexeishostakoff @antifaironman and @lovelyirony (sorry if u’ve been tagged already)
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resurrecticn-a · a year ago
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@liightningchosen​ sent —  ∅... jk u just make me so angsty.... ♕, ☯︎, ∞, ❤︎ of a coUPLE, ❉ t h r e e yeARS     /     apparently not anonymous impressions
∅ — you annoy me ♕ — i’m impressed with your writing! ☯︎ — you’ve helped me improve my writing ∞ — I hope we write for a really long time! ❤︎ — you are my favorite writer of your muse ❉ — I’ve followed you for a long time
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how dare u im crying
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