#young or i dont understand yet or w. ever

[yourclumsyguardianangel]

the seven + a few others future headcanons

percy:

becomes a high school teacher

teaches high school marine biology (idk how it is in other schools but when we hit sophomore year we got to choose different bio classes ie: marine bio, ag bio, med bio + regular bio)

also teaches the mythology elective and is the swim team coach

annabeth:

we already know this queen is an architect with obvious inspiration from greek architecture

learns how to make blue food for percy and their kids from sally

has traveled all over the world looking at different architecture

learns the basics of many languages so shes able to communicate with the locals

her and leo team up to build a small school near camp half-blood for year rounders so everyone can learn consistently but dw they get summers off

piper:

love her but shes a nepo baby

she doesnt act like it tho

”are you tristan mcleans daughter?” “who?”

loves her dad to bits but does not like being seen out in public by the paparazzi

marries shel, they dont have kids tho, neither of them want to bring any into the world especially with america’s downfall and the government erasing women and poc rights

is basically leos big sister atp

leo:

him and calypso dont last, maybe a year and a half in they split bc calypso wants to explore the world and leo is very emotionally unstable and calypso has a hard time understanding

they end on good terms but dont ever talk unless its with a group of friends

he goes into a trade to become a mechanic and owns his own shop

starts smoking cigarettes/vaping

his friends dont really approve but they understand he cant quit just yet as hes not in a mental space to do so

goes to therapy with a psychologist whos a demigod that specializes in grieving and war trauma

they all go to therapy but hes the last one to do it

he’s still the ‘happy go lucky’ guy hes always been but as he gets closer w the others they start to see the true sadness in him

piper and him grow a lot closer after jason died and have a big sister little brother relationship

hazel:

my girl stays at camp jupiter

takes nicos place at camp

horse trainer

her and frank also dont work out as a romantic relationship, they felt that the age gap was too much after frank turned 18 and hazel was 15 theyre still friends tho

hazel often visits leo in his shop

as much as leo reminds her of sammy, through therapy she has recognized that theyre separate people and to not push all her past feelings for sammy onto leo

not only does she train horses but she also teaches little kids basic math, science, and history to the younger kids

they all call her ms. hazel

she prefers to teach the really young kids (age 4-7)

wears her hair in different braid styles after BOO

frank:

my friggin HOMIE

i relate to frank a lot personality wise

therefore i think hed be a 4/20 fanatic after BOO

hes not stoned during training or during important camp duties

but otherwise you try talkin to him and you dont really notice until you look and see the far off look and red eyes and he just goes “huh?”

other than that hes a great leader

after he gets his cool new look from mars he takes really good care of his body including consistent exercise and eating really healthily (maybe he has a soft spot for fast food when hes hi)

him joining the military does not make sense to me

he lost his mom to war, and he was in one himself, idk about you but i would not wanna join the military after being the main character in a war

he studies to be a veterinarian for exotic animals

when no one is around he shifts into the animal to find out whats wrong

”dr. zhang prefers to work by himself” “why” “idk but hes always right, if it aint broke dont fix it”

jason:

rip home-slice

nico:

my other homie

my guy does not get taller than 5’8

stays at camp during the summer to train the new and old kids

him and will get a house together

teaches history at the camp school

cat dad (5 cats and counting)

will:

takes nicos last name when they marry bc its cooler

him being a doctor doesnt click w me i more picture him being an EMT

EMTs are hotter anyways

does med training with new apollo kids whenever he gets time

if he’s not busy during working hours he drops by nicos classroom w his fav drink from dutch bros (starbucks is MID) and hangs out with him and his students

#percy jackson #pjo #jason grace #hazel levesque #frank zhang #leo valdez #piper mclean #annabeth chase #nico di angelo #will solace #heroes of olympus #solangelo #percabeth

[kanekoii]

sonny where hes childhood friends w the reader and they reconnect after years of not seeing each other (they become friends again and start hanging out again) and their old crush on each other gets rekindled or however u word it... (ive been having SO much brainrot recently i am not ok) anyways scenario of that if u dont mind?

lyra’s notes -> anon…you’ve given me the opportunity to write my favorite genre of fic…

pairing -> sonny brisko x gn! reader

genre -> scenario, angst, attempt at slowburn (my fav genre)

song -> gravitation - oneus

warnings -> attempt at slowburn, i’m sorry this fic is SO long, slight hint at soulmates au at the end

sometimes sonny really wondered wether or not you felt anything at all for him. it was a constant back and forth, much like the uneven orbit of a planet that was much more realistic than the commonly envisioned perfect orbit. when you were smaller children, the both of you were too young to understand the logic of drifting away from each other. yet as the years went on, he became more distant. the final nail in the coffin was when he moved away and you had lost contact completely with him.

he had never left your mind, and you sometimes stared at the stars, silently wishing he was looking at the same ones from wherever he happened to be, somewhere in the world. you had only one remnant of sonny, a necklace with a charm on it, the other half presumably still one of his most prized possessions.

sonny sighed to himself as he stared at the blank sheet of paper. perhaps these feelings would be better expressed to you in person, but would be really have the confidence to give these feelings a voice when you stood in front of him for the first time in years? he doubted the things about you that he had come to not just appreciate but to love with all his heart would have disappeared with the time spent apart, but all these emotions sonny kept to himself would ultimately mean nothing had he not given himself a chance to voice them at all. he’s a hardworking man; all the things he wanted, he worked to achieve. the only thing out of his grasp, and even then it was only ever so slightly, was your love. he wore his half of the necklace every day in a hopeless kind of hope that one day it would mean as much to you as it did to him.

the emotions the commanding officer of the virtual special forces flowed out through his pen and onto the previously blank paper that sat on his desk, waiting to be given a meaning to exist at all. he sent out the letter to you before he could second guess himself, or else all the words he had allowed to escape his heart would be ultimately meaningless and he’d be plunged into the darkness that is keeping these feelings a secret. with his luck, you would have found someone else by now. yet some, ever so small part of his heart and mind held so tightly onto the hope that you’d one day love him as if it were his last lifeline. that hope had been driving him forward since the day he left, so what was a little more?

as you walked to the spot the letter had asked you to meet him, you saw his familiar face, standing nervously in the crowd. the world seemed to fall away before you as you ran towards him as fast as your body would allow. every second, every minute had led to this moment as your heart practically beat out of your chest amidst the blurred colors of the people around you. as you jumped into his arms, he seemed to be the only thing in the universe that had mattered at all.

your love for him grew ever stronger as you spent days together through the summer and autumn, coming to a head in winter when he finally expressed his love for you through a kiss. maybe you were destined to gravitate together by the red thread connecting your hearts. through all, that thread had never broken or disconnected. you were quite literally destined to be with him.

#lyr.fic #nijien x reader #nijisanji en #nijisanji x reader #nijien #sonny brisko x reader #sonny brisko #sonny brisko x you #i needed this excuse to write something slightly less fluffy

[binkszamsstuff]

camp of america

summery: when the reader vists a small summer camp in the middle of montana she is in for a twisted love from two men. when she learns the truth of what she has been brought into can she get out?

warnings: dark!steve roger x dark bucky barnes x innocent reader (dark! stucky x reader) losely based off of the moive mid sommer

Not proof read, or edited sorry but I'm lazy🤷

《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》

Summer of 1972 somewhere between June 1-3 the leaders of camp America waited for the bus of new campers to arrive. "I dont know if i can wait another summer" one of the leaders told in counterpart. "I know you cant, but me neither." The other man said back "I just hope that these fresh campers aren't like the ones last year." The man with slivers rings on his fingers spoke clearly to the other. "We need our flower, time is running out. We're the leaders yet we have no 3rd."

Just as the other man was about to reassure his partner the old rusty sc hool bus pulled into the dirt and gravel drive way. Both of the leaders put on fake smiles hoping that soon they wouldnt need them. The young, boys and girls filed off the yellow bus the two leaders scanning the faces hoping to find one worthy. Then the leaders eyes met with y/e/c, both men ran over her. Long tan legs that her shorts did a great job at showing off. Her long hair blew in the slight summer breeze. They found their flower.

"Hello everyone! We are the leaders of Camp America. I'm brother steven and this is my partner brother james some may call him bucky" steven the blonde one of the two told the new campers.

As the two shared more about the camps life and people they kept an eye on the girl. Hers eyes wide with amazement, the beauty of the people, camp, and culture held a dark sinister tone. in the camp all of the fresh eyed people felt cold on their necks. Even when the sun was wrenchingly hot it was like a beast that could not be met by the eyes was breathing down their backs.

"The men and the women sleep together in one sleeping unit. But when two get married they move to a cabin on the other side." Steven and james walked into the long unit house beds and bunck beds lined up in rows some people were out side working.

When the group passed by they all smiled and said hello all wearing wearing white while the children wore yellow. When the group walked in the sleeping unit they were met with moans of pleasure, three woman laid having sex.

"Now we dont forbid premarital sex we think it's an art here. You can have sex with who ever you like man or woman here but once you are married you can not and if one breaks said rule there will be consequences."

All the new campers etheir looked away from the three woman or started -most men kept their eyes on them. In the group their were 4 girls and 9 boys one being toby raxx a hellish boy that y/n was not to happy seeing.

They continued to walk on with the tour and have dinner y/n talked and mingled with the people saying hello and thanking them for opening up their home. Y/n was very understanding, her own mother was from a place like this and when summer came she would go to a rainy part in Washington were her grandparents lived in the camp her mother grew up in. But that all changed when she was 12, her mother had disappeared one day, and her father closed off.

Never the same. He forbid her to ever speak to her grandparents or ever go to the camp. mumbling under his breath that the camp did something to her mother sisley. Her father never used to believe in God and never went to church but after her mother he prayed and he made her as well every sunday they went y/n didnt mind but she did miss her summer fun in her grandparents community.

As y/n talked around and laughed with the people and children, a red haired woman couldn't take her eyes off of the young girl. Natasha was well a where of the other people looking at the girl with lustful eyes especially the leaders.

Y/n was open minded, and found her heart and child like ways more happy here, it reminded her so much of her mother and grandparents. Once night fell they made their way back to the shared unit, they gave all the of them white long baggy dresses to wear from now on. Y/n remembered that her mother wore them often.

When the sun was finally down and she was changed as she made her way to her assigned bed, pulling the blanket down and getting nice and cozy sleep taking her o er quickly.

As the night went on people began to shed their clothes, james and steven walking in the sleeping unit they watch as Natasha a red haired woman that they used to have sex with make her way to their girl sleeping peacefully unaware of the filthy moans and skin slapping around.

Her soft long hair flowing on the pillowcase so innocent. Natasha gently pulled her blanket back, y/n's nightgown ridden up on her waist revealing her white little cotton panties with a pink bow on top. Both leaders now sat on the empty bed across from their girls. The Green eyed woman pulled y/n's panties down, Nat had now had the girls legs open wide showing casing a pretty naked pussy to the three on them steve and bucky naked slowly jerking eachother off at the sight of her virgin cunt.

The red haired woman kicked her lips eyes blown out with lust. She made little kitten licks to her clit a soft moan coming from y/n. Natasha then dived deep sucking and slurping at the innocent girls pussy.

James and steven moving their hands faster as y/n's eyes opened gasping at the sight of the woman between her legs. Sitting up on her elbows she said "What are you d-" she was cut of by a loud moan coming from her throat when Natasha sucked harder the womans green eyes met with her y/c/es eyes . Steven standing up from the bed cock wet and pre cum leaking from the tip he yanked the dress all the way off of y/n her breasts now out james moaning at the sight.

Steven leaning down her neck and chest leaving kisses in his wake, one hand playing on her nipple well the other nipple was being sucked on. "O-oh that feels sooo good" y/n sequeled in delight her eyes heavy. James's blue eyes locking with y/n's as he came hot white cum shooting out all over his hand and soon she followed cumming on Natasha's face, the red head moaning at the taste of her.

"Your ours now sweet girl" bucky spoke.

A/n: I'm probably not making a part 2

#bucky barnes #bucky x female reader #marvel #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes oneshots #steve rogers #steve rogers au #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fic #dark bucky x you #dark stucky x reader #dark steve x reader #dark!bucky barnes #dark steve rogers #mean steve #steve x bucky #stucky x female reader #stucky #stucky x y/n

[liquidstar]

(this is NOT meant as a "gotcha!" thing, just genuine curiosity. This is about the goldberg post you reblogged btw.) Wanting your own house forever is valid, but it makes me curious about your opinion of marrying someone who ALSO doesn't want anyone in their house and would like to live separately. I don't see why giving up your space has to be a requirement for everybody who gets married. (Obviously its fine to still not want that either lol. Not wanting marriage for any reason is valid!)

oh i wouldnt have seen this as a gotcha, i think its a pretty innocuous question about living arrangements w partners lol

but no yeah i actually totally agree with you, theres no reason marriage has to look like how society tells us to. you know, a man and a woman in the suburbs with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids and a dog. i think that you can absolutely have any sort of arrangement you want with your partner

for a long time while i was growing up my parents were long distance, and that was fine and normal to me. i understand now that this wasnt really a choice (with the financial crisis in greece, my dad had to move to america to find work, and we all eventually moved once enough money was saved up etc) but like, it didnt make them any less married in my eyes. and i think that you can absolutely be in different houses even by choice and still be married if thats the kind of relationship youre both happy and secure with. who cares, right?

similarly my grandparents have different bedrooms but never had marital issues. my grandma just likes having her own space during the day, and she says theyd usually just pick one of the rooms to sleep in overnight. thats a mindset i can totally get behind and honestly that would also totally be the ideal setup for me, if i were to ever hypothetically get married.

i joked in the post's tags that one of my most "23 year old opinions" is not wanting to get married and start a family, and a lot of that is just because i dislike the idea of those obligations. but i also think a lot of that is because im young enough that i dont really see it as something i want- i still wanna be single and have fun because thats the kind of asshole i am (JOKE!). like, commitment to something that long term is just not in my field of vision yet. i do genuinely not want kids though but thats a different story. a spouse is something id want only if we really clicked i guess. but isnt that the case for everyone?

but for the time being i dont want anyone in my house LOL and maybe once i do we can have different rooms and do sleepovers like my grandma's genius idea

[ge]

would like to hear u talk about any of your aus.. like legend of hei au or just any

YAY ok omg ill talk about this loh one cuz i just rewatched the movie the other night and im currently rewatching the webseries and it is so fresh on my mind and i am so passionate rn...jic any of yall hvnt seen the series and dk what im talking about ill give a brief run down of loh lore so yall have a little more context (smile

‘the legend of luo xiao hei’ is a chinese animated webseries that currently has two seasons and a 2019 prequel movie ‘the legend of hei’, about a young black cat spirit (specifically known as an elfin) boy named xiao hei and his adventures..the plot among all of the webseries and movie is broad so i wont get into specifics of that since my rotmhs loh au will take place in a rotmhs canon divergence type thang

the world of legend of hei takes place in a world in which humans and elfin coexist harmoniously, with elfin either being secretly intigrated into human society or live peacefully and reclusively in their natural habitation birthplaces or in a guild..elfin are immortal pure spirits who are formed by the coalescence of natures natural energy, though due to humans limited understanding throughout history they have regarded elfin as gods or demons due to their power and extraordinary capabilities..elfin also have the ability to shapeshift between the spirit form they were born in and their elfin form, which for the most part is typically humanoid looking (ex. xiao hei in spirit form is a little black cat w a blue tongue and green ears, but in his elfin form hes a little boy w cat ears and a tail, due to his lack of prowess w shapeshifting he cant get rid of his ears and tail yet, a feat he will learn w age) some elfin however either dont have the ability to shapeshift into a human form or just choose not to, as a low majority of elfin have disdain for humans

throughout history, humans understanding of elfin shift among time periods. in the early days of man, when all humans saw were spirits with incredible otherworldly power and strength, they revered elfin as gods or demons. in loh lore however, there are no such things as actual gods/demons/etc, all known gods are actually just extremely affluential elfin..ie nezha and sun wukong are canon within loh but are not gods, just very well documented elfin lol… ‘god’ is essentially a just title elfin can obtain once theyve reached a certain legendary notoriety status within human society in lohverse

EDIT: heres an official comic about modern humans views on elfin for visual context

another suuuuper important feature in loh is the ability of elemental manipulation and realms. all living beings are born w an innate elemental spiritual type that, with conscience effort, can be honed in on and trained to be made more powerful..humans even have this ability but are mostly unaware. there are several spiritual types but off the top of my head the ones i can remember are metal, ice, water, fire, wood, and space.. all beings are usually born with one spiritual type which is their base type and the strongest they will ever have, but they can also learn other spiritual types..sometimes though, some beings are born with two innate spiritual types, an example being xiao hei who was born w a metal and space spiritual type

space spiritual types are the more rarer spiritual types that exist and unlike other spiritual types, where if u lose ur spiritual cultivation u can eventually cultivate it back, space is connected directly to ur realm so if you lost the cultivation of ur space type then you would die.. realms are literally personal physical realms that are connected directly to your soul and spiritual energy that each being has and it grows depending on the strength of ur spiritual cultivation, it pretty much is a white void that u can store physical objects in. other people can come into ur realm but as you are the master of ur own realm, any foreign person entering it can be subject to ur control (u can teleport, physically control others, etc etc in ur realm..u are essentially god within ur realm)

OKKKK I THINK THATS EVERYTHING NOW I CAN FINALLY GET INTO THE ROTMHS PORTION OF THIS (GLASS SHATTERING SOUND) this is already so long and i feel like its gonna get longer so im just gonna put this jnder a cut teehee⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

SOOOO LALALALAAA in my rotmhs loh au, everything in rotmhs verse is essentially the same as rotmhs canon aka canon divergence except now it has all of the same spirituality and elfin existence in it that loh does.. all the great sects and families are the same, all the villains and deuteragonists are the same, the only thing that is majorly different is that chung myung is an elfin (grins)

unlike in rotmhs canon where baby chung myung was abandoned on the front gates of mt hua, in this au he is an elfin who was formed among the plum blossom trees of mount hua..his formation was probably witnessed by the sect members of mt hua so he was swiftly taken in by them

in loh, when an elfin is formed, they are always surrounded by other elfin and spiritual animals to welcome them into the world and to give them a community, however since chung myungs formation was so close to a human settlement and witnessed by so many other humans, and maybe only a few other spiritual animals but no elfin, his role in life was pretty much decided for him

EDIT: heres an official comic of an elfin being born btw just for a little extra visual context hehe

chung myung was formed as a baby tiger elfin, who later in life can transform back and forth between a human form and a big ass melanistic tiger form, and due to the humans in this time periods lack of understanding of elfin, he was quickly decided to be mount huas own guardian 'god'.. pretty much i imagine he was raised the same way though bc no matter how much mt hua tried to lavish and spoil their own little ‘god’, chung myung is still chung myung so they got over their reverence of him pretty fast and started treating him like their littlest sect brother instead teehee (and chung myung wldntve had it any other way, i feel like if they kept spoiling him nonstop he wldve gotten annoyed by it pretty fast)

chung myungs elemental spiritual ability in this au ive decided is gonna be wood since he was formed among the plum blossom trees..i think itd be really funny to see a young chung myung growing a plum blossom tree in the middle of mt huas courtyard much to the faint inducing astonishment of the sect members hehe.... he also has a metal subtype cuz hes trained so much around swords he just inevitably cultivated the ability

all elfin are born w the inherent knowledge of their being, but since chung myung was pretty much born and raised among humans, his etiquette and sociability amongst other elfins is lost.. he wears his elfin features amongst humans with pride (his tiger ears and tail, hes able to shapeshift them away, he just chooses not to) and among mortals and even other members of the jianghu, he is still seen as an untouchable god to be respected and worshiped, or sometimes even as a demon by those who despised him…..i dont imagine this really gets to him or changes his personality in any meaningful way, hes still the same chung myung we all know and love….🩷

i didnt actually think about tang bo at all in this au but just to squeak him in at the last second, ive decided while he is still an immortal human, i will give him a refined metal manipulation ability.. i imagine what w the tang family being talented welders, their mastery over metal manipulation is incredible, however lacking….. when tang bo meets chung myung for the first time his metal manipulation is underdeveloped but after intentional training and sparring w chung myung for years and years, it develops into near perfect mastery yayy

mostly in this au i just like imagining chung myung in his big tiger form walking around tha sect, lazing around and sleeping in sunny patches or hanging out w chung mun or gnawing on chung jins arm LOL “god” or not, chung myung is still their annoying ass brother hehehehe

smth ive also thot about is that, in loh lore, when an elfin ‘dies’ they dont so much as DIE die, but the natural energy that formed them disperses back into nature, which makes me think that w enough intentional cultivation its not impossible to reform urself after a few decades or even centuries....so i imagine during the final battle when chung myung dies facing cheonma, cm doesnt really die die hes just dispersed and it takes him a hundred years to reform himself, though hes weak and reforms back into his originals selfs fifteen year old body..

eek ok thats kinda all i have to say about this au rn my thumbs hurt from typing sooooo bad watch lxh and loh byeeee

EDIT: nvm im back i have more i want to say..

in this au, chung myung being a minor 'god' was well known and well documented so even after the war and destruction of the sect, the jianghu and every mount hua generation afterwards knew that chung myung was smth otherworldly so the legend of the plum blossom sword saint lingered heavily on mount hua, even more so than in rotmhs canon because after chung myung died, theres never been another case of an elfin knowingly making such direct contact with humans since.. ofc theres been elfin hiding and living amongst humans in stealth but none have ever given themselves away or flaunted their abilities like chung myung had, so their existence, to humans, is still incredibly rare and unknowable..

i imagine when chung myung came back he would still hide his identity, as well as his tiger ears and tail, just like in canon because i feel like the uproar of mount huas guardian god returning would be even louder and put too much attention on the vulnerable rebuilding sect.. however since chung myung reformed weaker than he used to be, his grasp on shapeshifting is still a little wonky so sometimes he'll randomly accidentally have his ears or tail poof into existence lol.. luckily no one has seen it happen tho or else his identity would be revealed

#EDIT: I ADDED MORE STUFF #WATCH THE LEGEND OF HEI NEEOOOWWW‼️‼️‼️‼️ #hope this made sense and i didnt forget anything cuz im too tired to reread this #actually im putting this in the tags..idgaf #return of the blossoming blade #return of the mount hua sect

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

don't wait for tumblr to give u more tags. go off about tony and steve and zola pls i am humbly requesting

As a part of my ongoing war on my ask box this is a very old post regarding a tumblr tag essay i made forever ago. i half answered this ask when it came in and then forgot to finish. without further ado:

Anon is talking about this post about Steve and Tony’s relationship. I HIGHLY recommend the original post it's great but i copied the original tags essay below since it's been so long since the ask arrived.

#I feel like anyone who writes Tony stark for marvel should have to go watch bojack horseman first as like a mandatory assignment#because that show understood the premise of Tony stark better than any MCU writer ever has and it wasn’t even writing for tony stark#in sum bojack horseman follows the titular bojack who is a washed up 90s sitcom television star#bojack himself is extremely self destructive and the show follows him as his selfish and egotistical tendencies erode at his relationships#However bojack himself is an extremely sympathetic character. his harmful acts are all tied very directly to the trauma of his life#he’s a survivor of generational abuse whose own substance abuse problems stem from the fact that he was in such a neglectful environment#that he had started drinking at an INCREDIBLY young age got himself sober only to relapse due to a spiked drink after fame

#this sympathic is increased by the fact that he does geninuinely love and care for his friends and often goes to extreme lengths to show it#but what the show understands that MCU writers dont is that his tragic past doesn’t excuse the harm or pain he causes and the show goes to#LABORIOUS extents to emphasize the consequences and suffering his actions cause in his attempt towards making amends#it is FASINCATING to me that MCU just fails to grasp this because it’s really the core of Tony’s character. his story is one of redemption#and regret. but what it never seemed to get is that requires recognition of wrongs and change and his relationship with steve is a prime ex.#when they meet tony is 40+ and Steve is 23-25. steve has been awake from world war 2 for less than 2 weeks everyone he loves is dead and hes#visibly haunted by his time in the ice. his ptsd flashbacks to crashing the plane is how his character is introduced. Tony spends the time

#calling him ‘capsicle’ and talking about how much he can’t stand steve. the narrative plays it off as a gaff of little consequence but#practically speaking that’s INSANE. like can you imagine you’re a traumatized war vet who got out of a coma 2 months ago and woke up to#discover everyone you ever loved is dead and this stranger twice your age at your new work nicknames you coma boy and hates your guts bc of#his daddy issues? like Tony in avengers is borderline cruel but the narrative and the fandom never acknowledge it. it’s like removing the#laugh track on a scene from one of those old sitcoms and realizing how mean it is. and while we can fully acknowledge that Howard hurt Tony#that doesn’t make it Steve’s fault and doesn’t give Tony the license to take it out on him. like at the end of the day your healing is your#responsibility and the MCU fails to grasp that with Tony. honestly it does a disservice to the depth of his character b/c Tony should have#already grown past this by the time of Avengers. he had already gone through iron man 2 and grappled somewhat with his relationship w howard#while that doesn’t mean he’s healed yet it does mean that his character needs to learn to grow past it or he risks stagnation. mcu just#happily embraced stagnation and it made the character worse for it. Theres a scene in the comics where Tony is the first to reach out to#Steve post ice. he takes him to the air&space museum and welcomes him to the future. THATS the growth we want. Bc fundamentally even if we

#sympathize for Tony’s abuse by Howard lashing out at someone who was functionally dead at the time of ur dads mistakes is a very juvenile#mindset. /growth/ is deciding to be better than the person who hurt you and the MCUs obsession with blaming Steve for howard cut that off#CW would have been SO MUCH MORE COMPELLING if Tony had formed a relationship with Steve bc Steve would be torn between past and present but#instead Tony is saying how much he hated Steve during the fucking movie and Steve’s taking it with grace. like you’re 50 man you gotta work#past this at some point. out of tags but I have Opinions about Tony and actually zola too but we won’t get there give me more tags tumblr

Fundamentally, my issue with Tony and how he's written for the MCU is that he has the potential for one of greatest redemption arcs ever and the writers are fucking allergic to giving it to him, and his dynamic with Steve is a a prime example of it. How poorly Steve's relationship with Tony was mishandled is a pretty perfect case study as to how Tony as a character was mishandled as a whole.

As stated in the Tumblr Tags Essay above, by the time Steve came on the scene, Tony should have already grown past his hate for Steve. To be clear, that is not saying he should have gotten over Howard or any harm that he suffered as a result of his. Howard was his parent who was, to some degree, at least emotionally neglectful, if not abusive. Healing and learning helping coping mechanisms does not demand you forgive your abuser.

But Steve was never his abuser. He's a 20-something year old guy who has been trapped in a block of ice for Tony's entire life and who woke up two weeks ago to find out that everyone he ever loved is dead or suffering from alzheimer's and that his sacrifice was for nothing because he was just told the thing he drove a fucking plane into the fucking arctic over is Back Again Because We Learned Nothing.

And the thing is that the realization that "This man can hold literally no complicity in my abuser because he was frozen in the Arctic Circle the entire time" requires a level of emotional maturity you generally achieve at the age of thirteen or so. Tony is fucking fifty. Mentally, he's over twice Steve's age. At absolute best, the way Tony treats Steve from the outset is immature and more accurately it's downright cruel. Voluntarily killing himself by driving a plane into ice only to wake up and discover that he has lost everyone he ever loved is undoubtedly one of the most traumatic things that has ever happened to steve, and he just woke up from it. He is two weeks out from this. He's actively having flashbacks of what happened right before Tony starts cracking jokes about it. It'd be like if Steve walked up to Tony right after he got back from Afghanistan and called him Waterboarding Boy and everyone treated it like it was a cutesy character trait.

That's one of the most egregious parts of how Tony's character is written--things that are objectively things that need to be addressed in his character arc area treated like acceptable and borderline justified quirks in his personality. Tony's relationship with his father is one of the cornerstones of his backstory and who he became. While he doesn't have to forgive his father on the road to recovery, he does have to realize when he's using it as an excuse to hurt others and stop it.

That's also something he never does, and one of the reasons why i think that the writers for him need to watch Bojack horseman. In the same movie he's claiming to that he was Steve's friend, he's still saying to his face how much he fucking hated him over things that happened when Steve was supposed to have martyred himself to save the world.

There's multiple parts of Tony's character that could have formed the basis of an amazing character arc if he grew and improved from them, but the narrative refused to even recognize them as problems, let alone have him overcome them, and his relationship with Steve is a perfect example of it. The writer's refusal to recognize that brings down the quality of his entire arc and cheapens him as a character.

If Tony had been allowed to recognize that Steve was not to blame for his father, accepted it, and given a man half his age who just lost everything a lifeline, that would have shown an amazing amount of growth. Instead, they left him as immature and cruel. It's a shame and an insult to the potential of his character, and it's a mistake that they repeat again and again. Tony was supposed to be completely against developing weapons for others, but he canonically helped build a major part of Project Insight. Tony's entire stance in Civil War was meant to show that he had accepted that he made mistakes and that he needed to be held accountable for his actions, but then he went and unilaterally built EDITH, whose existence violates multiple international treaties including the Accords and had so few safety precautions that a teenaged boy was able to accidentally call out a missile strike on his teenaged classmate. He's in a movie where he's driven by his guilt for causing the death of someone's college-aged son, and in that same movie he blackmails a high-school-aged boy to join in on a fight he knows nothing about, that goes directly against his interests, and could get him killed even if he was certain that Team Cap wouldn't use lethal force. Rhodey got paralyzed from the waist down from friendly fire. Tony had a moment in the same fight where he had reason to fear that Peter had been injured if not killed.

Ultimately, Tony's entire character is built on a foundation of repentance and growth. That's why he has so much potential and why he's so compelling. The fact that his writers were unable to recognize when he even needed to repent, let alone allow him to grow, was honestly insulting to what he could have been.

Zola:

The reference to Zola is actually more of a response to fandom’s response to Zola as a whole than the actual specific person who made the comment.

Overall, the majority of fandom response that I've seen just seemed to be sort of besides the point? The thing about Armin Zola working for SHIELD is that I personally have only seen discussion about this in context of talking about how Peggy and Howard are Bad or talking about how steve would feel betrayed when he discovered it. To be honest most of the discourse I’ve seen has just been about hating Peggy Carter and using this as a sledgehammer in that discussion.

It’s not that I disagree with that reading of it—like, I do think Steve felt betrayed by the realization that Zola was recruited in the end, and I think it’s bad to have recruited literal Nazis—but I do think that fandom elevated the most tangential point of it to the detriment of its entire narrative purpose. I've only ever personally seen it used in character discourse and shipping wars--which like, anyone can draw on any plot point they so choose while participating in fandom. But Zola's recruitment was the thematic core of Winter Soldier, and it always seemed kinda weird to me that it was treated as a personal defect in Howard and Peggy when it was the entire argument of the movie and one of the best social commentaries that the MCU ever made.

Zola gives what I think is one of the better MCU villain speeches in the bunker about how Hydra recovered after the war. He states that they realized that taking the freedom of the world by force only galvanised people against them. It led to their own downfall. But he explains that Hydra realized that the people of the world would freely give away their own rights and freedoms if you made them comfortable. If you say you’re doing it for their own safety and comfort, then they’ll effectively look the other way while Hydra seizes control of the world. And that entire monologue is bolstered by the fact that that is exactly what happened in Zola’s case.

Zola was brought into SHIELD as a part of operation paperclip. Operation Paperclip was a post-war initiative by the United States government to recruit key Nazi scientists into United States scientific development. This entire initiative was brought about in response to the Cold War arm’s race and it was justified on the basis of dire national security need. Both America and the Soviet Union were EXTREMELY CONCERNED about losing the cold war. As a result, they were willing to take pretty much any strategic advantage they could, including After, President Truman, who gave the final go-ahead for the initiative, said that "this had to be done and was done."

Even after it became public knowledge, it was defended as more of a necessary evil and the cost of the practicalities of governance than a world power welcoming war criminals with open arms. Multiple participants have been linked to human experimentation, slave labor factories, etc, though none were ever formally found guilty of anything--which may be because the US aggressively whitewashed their pasts and then went so far as to help relocate one of the members of the initiative to Argentina.

This was, again, all a part of the Cold War arms race with the USSR--who had an identical program going at the same time, Operation Osoaviakhim.

En arguendo, let's just assume that all of this was done with the best possible intentions and execution. The nominal rationale was the Cold War. While analyzing the Red Scare and the entire Cold War period would take way too long, I think a solid premise we can agree on is that nuclear war is bad. It would have been disastrous for anyone alive if the Cold War had escalated, and recruiting top scientists from the Nazi regime 1) kept the USSR from doing it instead, which they were actively doing, and 2) helped prevent strategic advantage in one country or another that may have led to an escalation. Now, I'm not a historian, and all of these premises can naturally be debated, but these were the like, best faith premises that world leaders had at the time. If you want a nuclear deterrent, you need the biggest stick.

The thing is that, if you assume these premises as genuine for the sake of the argument, the absolute best this leaves you with is doing a very bad thing for a very important government purpose. You're supposedly preventing nuclear war, but you're doing so at the cost of justice for all the people who suffered at the hands of these people, and the risk of future harm that they may cause.

Which, thematically, is the core of the Winter Soldier.

I've usually seen Zola's recruitment discussed in terms of Peggy or Howard making the decision to let him in, when in reality, they probably didn't make the call themselves so much as become complicit in it later. Zola was captured and recruited right at the end of CA:FA (he later clocks this at 1945) but Peggy and Howard didn't even have an organization at that point, let alone the power to recruit a head Nazi scientist. This was two decades before SHIELD was ever founded, and if we take the Agent Carter series as binding canon, at the time of Zola's transition into American government would, Peggy had so little sway that she couldn't even get anyone to listen to her, let alone recruit a nazi scientist, and Howard was potentially on the run and definitely not involved in any formal governmental decision making. Even if you assume that they were somehow in charge of a government agency at the time of Zola's recruitment, the actual recruitment and function of Operation Paperclip was conducted by independent agencies (Joint Intelligence Objectives Agency and the Counterintelligence Corps) that Peggy and Howard weren't a part of, and the person who made the call for Operation Paperclip itself was The Literal President Of The United States. Whatever way you cut it, Peggy and Howard probably had nothing to do with Zola's initial recruitment--what most likely happened was that two decades passed (the time between Zola's recruitment and SHIELD's founding) and when resources were being allocated some big-shot in the overseeing body was like Yeah You Do Weird Stuff? We Got A Guy Who's Been Doing Weird Stuff For Us For Like Twenty Years and then when Peggy and Howard saw him they were like Oh Its This Motherfucker.

To be clear, this is not at all to absolve howard and peggy for working with a guy they knew did literal human experimentation because he did it on one of their best friends. But this is to more clearly reframe it from Decision They Personally Made to The Ways Being At A Certain Level Of Government Makes You Complicit With Horrible Things, which perfectly encapsulates the heart of the movie.

At the open of the movie, Steve is visibly on a fucking ledge with SHIELD. Fuck, Fury and Nat spend most of the opening trying to keep him from flying the coop. And it's because Steve for the very first time has to grapple with the consequences of being an active participant in a governmental body.

Straight up--Steve spent the entire war going AWOL. His entire military career was spent doing what he wanted and flipping his superior officers the bird. The man was a terrible fucking soldier but by the time anyone figured it out they had already given him a comic book and the Medal of Honor and the man could bench press a tank it was simply too late. Then, he got encased in ice for 70 years, woke up, had two weeks of fun future integration activities like Not Getting Therapy For His Problems and Looking At Pictures Of His Dead Friends, got tapped in because they fucked up with the exact thing he lost everything to stop, immediately went AWOL again, almost died again, went on a roadtrip of self discovery, and at some point between then and CAWS started working as one of the main STRIKE members of SHIELD. This is likely his first time having to ever deal with the realities of being a hand of the government.

One of the most insidious things about high-level government work is there's rarely some Main Guy sitting behind a desk signing Evil Decrees and responsible for everything. Power is allocated and things get messy very quickly.

Take Ghost for example. One of SHIELD'S Main Guys falls out with another Guy, smears his name, which makes the Ex-Guy so desperate that he takes unnecessary risks in his experiments that predictably blow up in his face and leads to his young daughter having a debilitating power that results in her uncontrollably phasing through objects. Another Guy tries to do the right thing and help her, but Other Main Guys think "This kid would make a GREAT assassin" and leverage a cure for her debilitating health condition into turning her into a forced operative. This health condition starts to kill her, but the Main Guys were so happy with their new forced assassin that they never looked for a cure to begin with and was going to use her until she died. She goes rather reasonably goes AWOL, and in her attempts to cure herself, she's willing to do just about anything to get cured, and including contemplating kidnapping Scott's daughter as an option.

Steve obviously wasn't called in to help with that (he was AWOL himself at that point) but assume he was--he would only get pulled into this mess at the very end when all the damage is done and there's a highly unstable assassin kidnapping little girls. SHIELD was at fault for every horrible thing that happened to this person. He has a strong sense of justice, and he'd likely to be furious to find out that SHIELD took an orphanged child and abused their incredibly painful and terminal medical condition, which was indirectly caused by them, in order to force them into becoming a highly skilled operative.

But there isn't just one person that he'd be able to find and blame for what happened with this--culpability was stretched out over Multiple Main Guys who made bad decisions, a lot of Lower Guys who built the suit, trained her, handled her in the field, and experimented on her to learn her limits, many of whom likely didn't even work for the organization any more.

Who do you go after for that? The Main Guy who smeared her dad? But he didn't have anything to do with the assassin business or the actual accident. The Main Guys who made the calls for the assassination thing? Better candidates, but is it that simple? What about the guys who just get orders every day and have no decision making authority, who were handed a little girl who was vulnerable and in pain and told to train her to kill? What about the ones making a child-sized tactical suit with no details about what was going on but who had reason enough to suspect it wasn't all good? They were just following orders, but so were Nazis working the camps.

How do you go after people for that? Fire them? It's been decades. Most are probably retired. And that's a pretty lame punishment for what they did. He doesn't make the calls for legal action, they definitely have qualified immunity for their decisions, and there's a whole host of problems with proving anything.

But, on the flip side, what does he do about Ghost? what happened to her is terrible, but if she had kidnapped Cassie Lang, he couldn't exactly sit on his hands and let it happen no matter the justification. There's a very good chance he has to stop her and become another link in a chain of what's been a lifetime of abuse. Things get messy when you're just a cog in the machine of a sprawling agency that has a lot of power to abuse.

While we don't know what Steve's been doing while he worked for SHIELD, we do know that it pissed him off to high heavens. The very first thing we see him doing for SHIELD is recapturing the off-course Lemurian Star from pirates, and he is the exact opposite of a dutiful soldier during it. He doesn't just salute and follow his orders without question--one of the first lines of his mouth is calling them out for lying about the ship being in those waters because it was off-course. He's like "Oh, so it's not off course, it's trespassing" to which Nat says "I'm sure they had a good reason" and Steve replies "I'm getting a little tired of being Fury's janitor."

He's saving the hostages, and then all of a sudden he finds Natasha in the control room downloading the drive and realizes that this was about SHIELD's data to begin with but no one clued him in on that fact. He's pissed because the hostages could have died, which is a fact he immediately goes after Fury about.

There is so much character jammed into those few minutes of screen time. This is visibly an old argument--at one point, Fury says to him "It's damn near getting past time for you to get with the program, Cap" to which Steve tells him not to hold his breath. Steve doesn't like or approve of a lot of SHIELD's actions, but he's called in after all the bad things they did went to shit. Like, what's he going to do--say, sorry, the Lemurian Star was obviously Up To Some Shit that I don't want to be a part of, RIP to the hostages but I'm just going to let them get shot in the head? He's the janitor and he's sick of getting called into SHIELD fucking something up through their own immoral actions and calling him to pull their ass out of the fire. He spends the entire first half of the movie on the verge of flying the coop entirely, and Nat and Fury visibly know it and are trying to get him off the ledge in every interaction they have on screen with him--which directly contributes to the fact that Steve doesn't trust either of them for the first half of the movie.

It also is likely the motivator behind why he does ultimately trust Sam. Steve spends the first half of the movie getting Managed. He's increasingly pissed and distrustful of SHIELD and its agents, and he's got good reason to be--Nat and Fury hide things from him and keep trying to persuade him to stick with the program (to be clear Nat's (and to a somewhat lesser extent Fury's) own actions and whether any culpability for things like project insight could possibly be imputed to her has to be analyzed under an entirely different lens due to the difference in her personal history and character type, but this is already way too long to tackle that here. this isn't actually meant to assign blame to her, but more to analyze the likely results on steve). Fury takes him for a tour of his Fascist Death Machine and tells him that's what the world needs. The neighbor he was growing increasingly intimate with was a SHIELD agent who lied to him about her name and the fact that she was spying on him. At the end of the day, the majority of the of the early movie is spent with his desires and principles are treated as secondary and unwanted complications to the fact that they really need him to keep throwing that shield on SHIELD's behalf (whether this is actually what nat and fury specifically are trying to do is, again, a separate analysis we don't have time for, this is just to go to how it likely affects and appears to Steve).

Sam, meanwhile, is beautiful and charming is the only one who openly expresses a genuine concern for Steve as a person and not steve as a solider. Sam spends the entire first half of the movie reaching out to someone in a position he's been in himself and trying to get him help. his entire first meeting with Steve is defined by him trying to help a fellow Vet recover from war. he tries to gauge where Steve's at with the future, invites him to the VA, and packages it in a easily-seen-through excuse that gives them both plausible deniability--Steve can come by and get the help he needs not as Captain America The Man The Myth The Legend Who Is Really Fucking Struggling, but as Steve the guy helping Sam impress the girl at the front desk.

When he comes to the VA, Sam has the direct opposite response that everyone else in the movie has to Steve questioning his place in SHIELD and in government work--he's like "Quit. Quit now. Be free and beautiful like me. become an ultimate fighter or whatever the fuck you want." He doesn't give two shits about what the world will do without Captain America keeping it safe--he just cares about what Steve needs.

This all goes to a greater analysis about how Sam is beautiful and charming the perfect parallel to Steve, the only one who could possibly have taken up his shield, and actually wrong in that line he says about how he does what Steve does but slower because he consistently decides to do the right thing before Steve is another analysis that would go too far off the point to get into. The point being is that Sam exists in the narrative as the direct opposite and alternative to the reality fury and nat offers Steve. Steve spends the beginning of the movie with Nat and Fury seemingly sacrificing the means for the end, but there's Sam, beautiful and charming someone who made the same decision he's now faced with, being like "fuck it. sometimes you have to walk."

Steve's entire struggle about his position with SHIELD reaches its climax when he first finds out the truth of Project Insight.

For the avoidance of any doubt, SHIELD secretly being infiltrated by HYDRA has no effect on how wrong Project Insight was from the start--it just emphasized how horrifically wrong it could go. But "Space Super Death Weapon That Can Immediately Kill Dangers To National Security" is a bad idea no matter who is in charge of it. First off, Steve is right--punishment follows the crime. No government has a crystal fucking ball and anyone who justifies things on the basis of "taking out threats ahead of time" is talking out their ass. to be clear, i'm not saying you need to wait for someone to be on a plane and flying at the twin towers to stop a terrorist attack--in law, we have a designated level of "closeness" that lets us say "yeah you were totally actually doing what we don't want you doing" at which point you can charge them with attempt, and often a lot of the earlier steps leading up to the Big Harmful Thing are actual crimes you can intervene with.

Project Insight was the flagship of of a "quantum surge in threat analysis." It did exactly what it was designed to do: it took out threats before they became threats. The only difference between SHIELD being at the helm and HYDRA is who gets defined as a threat. HYDRA would have defined that as anyone from a high school valedictorian in Iowa to Stephen Strange, but it's not any better if SHIELD's defining that as some random kid in Afghanistan who shows whatever traits show a risk for one day becoming a combatant.

And yet, steve's the only one in the movie who says this. We don't actually know how much Nat knows about Project insight itself, but Fury is fully aware and a participant in it, and Tony Stark apparently took one look at the thing and said "your engines are shit. i'll improve them." Steve takes one look at them and calls it fascist bullshit.

At the end of the day, you can never justify shit like this under the assumption that the people controlling it will use it for the best, because you cannot trust the people controlling it. Yeah, Project Insight was probably pitched with being used against the worst threats. Dangers to public safety, terrorists, that kind of thing. Do you want to know who else was considered a danger to public safety? MLK, who the FBI fucking murdered. The people who define threats to national security are the ones who have the same incentive to maintain the status quo in an unjust world. Even if we assume Project Insight was made to stop the next 9/11, we also have to assume that at least some of the strikes it would have carried out under not-HYDRA control would have been for the wrong reasons.

What the fuck does all of this this have to do with Zola?

Operation Paperclip and Peggy and Howard's decisions within it directly mirrors Project Insight and Fury's decisions within it, directly mirrors Steve's journey and central conflict over the course of the film, and directly contrasts with the alternative Sam poses within it.

CA:WS at its thematic core, says that initiatives that sacrifice justice for claims of national security and public safety are exactly what robs us of our rights and freedoms and ultimately endangers us all. It's not even subtle--Zola says it out loud in his evil villain speech. but operating at a high level in a government agency puts you in a position where you're meant to make that decision again and again, even if we assume you have the best of intentions.

Peggy and Howard were people who believed that they had to make the hard decisions to save the world. They were handed a decision where perception of culpability was obscured by how distributed out the blame was, and the direct public benefit to national security was posed to be overwhelmingly good. It leads to SHIELD's infiltration. Project Insight went through on the exact same reasoning. Fury, Maria Hill, possibly Nat, and Tony (off-screen) all do the exact same thing and justify the means by the end, and it leads to the helicarriers being made.

Steve spends the movie being told, explicitly, to "get with the program" and start making the same decisions. His central conflict is being someone on the inside of this club, being told that he needs to start understand what keeping the world safe demands, and his journey leads to him refusing to do it. The climax of the movie is a character so minor that we never learn his name refusing to launch the helicarriers with a gun pointed at his head, even though the complicity he carried in it would have been just as attenuated as Steve's was as SHIELD's janitor. And all throughout it, there's Sam, someone who left the military explicitly because he couldn't follow the rules he was being given anymore.

Peggy and Howard's decision to go along with Zola in Operation Paperclip is a direct parallel of the decisions Fury made with Project Insight and the decisions Steve ultimately refuses to make himself. Making Peggy and Howard complicit in what let in Arnim Zola encapsulates the entire core argument of CA:WS and it's so weird to me that I've only ever seen it discussed in shipping wars and discourse as to whether a Character Is Bad.

Peggy and Howard, ultimately, were members of a governmental task force who made the Hard Decisions for The Public Good. As an inherent part of that role, they did bad things. Unjust things. They undoubtedly saved the world multiple times over as a part of their tenure as the head of SHIELD, but it would be absolute naivety to assume that anyone in that position didn't become complicit in terrible fucking things. It's the direct product of their positions in the government, and it's exactly what leads to Steve's position in Civil War. it is absolutely bonkers to me how people watched Winter Solider and then reacted to Steve's opposition to the Accords like Local Imperialist Military Boy Refuses To Listen To Anyone Else. Steve just had a masterclass in how people in the government make decisions that sacrifice justice up to and including people he once trusted with his life. Of course he didn't fucking trust General Human Experimentation And I Consider Bruce Banner The Property Of The United States Military with his every action as Captain America. He had just learned that he couldn't even trust Peggy and Howard with it.

#this became very long #and you know what #if i want to say the same thing in the tags of some unsuspecting person's post then that's my right #more tags when #more tags NOW

[br1ghtestlight]

I’m curious about 13, 14, and 25 if you haven’t answered those already!

have already answered for 25 :)

the bob and louise angst au is one I have talked about a bit on tumblr its just an au where gene, tina and linda died in a car accident when louise was 3 years old and it's like a norman's hotel type vibe where bob and louise are VERY secluded and mostly keep to themselves. very traumatized by it all and bob is overprotective. mostly trying to analyze how gene and tina's existence affected louise and how it would be different if she never had older siblings. it's sad tbh i dont think i will ever properly do anything with it but i do think about it sometimes

Louise Belcher was an only child.

Her father said that she wasn’t. He told her that she had an older sister named Tina and an older brother named Gene, but they died in the same car accident that killed her mother when they were five and seven years old. Louise was too young when the accident happened to remember them, only three years old and not yet aware of herself or her place in their family, so in her mind she was an only child. That was how she grew up, and a brother and sister in Heaven didn’t change anything for her. She didn’t need them.

Sometimes, when Louise was alone and feeling sorry for herself, she would try to remember what her siblings' voices sounded like. She would try to remember what they would say to her back when they were alive, and the games they would play together. Louise was the youngest so she’d always get her way when she felt like their games were unfair. She would try but she could never quite remember.

Her father had shown her videos he recorded of her mother and even a few videos of when her siblings were younger, before Louise was even born, but nothing recent enough that it sparked a memory. They just looked like annoying toddlers to her. Not her siblings.

She’d seen pictures of them, when she asked her father to bring them out from where they were hidden in storage, but that wasn’t the same. They just looked like stock photos he pulled from the internet. They didn’t feel like real people that she had known.

my louise/rudy my girl fic in contrast is actually not angsty AT ALL it was just a silly little concept i wrote where louise watches my girl w/ her family and sees herself and rudy in the characters and gets stressed out that something bad could happen to rudy. she sees rudy at school and he's basically like louise im FINE nothing bad is ever going to happen to me i promise <3 it was just a stupid movie

Louise found My Girl to be painfully boring in the beginning but when Thomas J. Sennett was introduced, she found herself relating to his dynamic with Vada. He reminded her of her best friend Regular-Sized Rudy.

They were always riding bicycles around Rudy’s mother’s house and similarly to Thomas J. Sennett, Rudy was allergic to EVERYTHING! Louise still thought that this movie was stupid and she wasn’t interested in the romance aspect at all, but she appreciated seeing a friendship that reminded her of Rudy. Louise snuggled under Bob’s arm and continued watching My Girl with her family—occasionally laughing to herself at moments that she deemed to be cheesy or unrealistic—until there was a completely out of nowhere twist near the ending of the movie that even Louise hadn’t seen coming.

Thomas J. Sennett had an allergic reaction and DIED!

Vada was left trying to understand how her best friend had died from an allergic reaction and how to cope with the grief and heartbreak she was feeling, and Louise who had otherwise been disinterested for most of the movie suddenly found herself trying to suppress her emotions so that she wouldn’t cry in front of her family over a STUPID coming of age movie. Louise never cried when watching movies.

“This is so sad. It’s been such a long time since we watched this movie together, Bobby! I forgot that he dies at the end,” Linda said as she blew her nose into a tissue.

Linda was always the most emotionally impacted when they watched movies together as a family, especially when children dying was involved. She always said that it made her think about losing her own children and how heartbroken she would feel. Louise had her face buried in Bob’s side so that nobody would hear her sniffling or see the tears that were pouring down her face.

#ask #bob's burgers

[ozlices]

my mom has repeatedly dismissed the idea that she has favorites between us, and yet earlier this year she literally admitted to my face that she's prioritized my abuser over me bc she's 'going through worse stuff'.

and constantly. fucking CONSTANTLY i have to hear abt my abuser, how much she's 'changed' and 'loves me' and 'wants a relationship with me' etc etc etc

and the most draining part of all of this is that i busted my ass for multiple fucking years to finally break the shackles off and get the fuck out of here, only for a selfish, heartless, absolutely piece of utter and complete shit to damn me back here.

and now, im stuck in this cycle again. where spending EIGHT HOURS on the phone trying to get my phone shit settled, and being at my absolute fucking limit bc on top of dealing w that crap, i had to listen to my abuser and her kids screaming at the top of their goddamn lungs for the past two days, and snapping to shut the fuck up,, gets me dealing w my mother holding a grudge w me.

bc 'oh let me have kids and then maybe ill understand' IT'S LIKE THIS EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME SHE'S OVER HERE. AND SHE WAS LIKE THIS BEFORE SHE FUCKING HAD KIDS. THE BRUNT OF MY ABUSER WAS LITERALLY BEING SCREAMED AT AND BERATED BY HER OVER STUPID SHIT.

/IM/ THE ASSHOLE FOR BEING INSISTENT THAT SHE HASNT CHANGED ?!?!? WHEN SHE LITERALLY HASNT FUCKING CHANGED!!!?!?!?!? SHE'S /WORSE/ NOW /BECAUSE/ SHE STILL HAD KIDS ANYWAY WHEN LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN HER LIFE WARNED HER NOT TO BC WE ALL KNEW SHE'D BE A SHITTY PARENT. AND WOW, HUGE SHOCKER, SHE IS!!!

i made the decision when i was VERY young, but also old enough to realize just how deep rooted my trauma runs & how much it affects my responses to stress & other shit, to not have human children bc i fucking KNEW. no matter how much i try to be a nice person, no matter how good my intentions try to be, i can be very nasty. i can be harsh. i can be snappy. i can be violent. i can be completely apathetic to how my actions affect other people when i'm angry enough.

i ACKNOWLEDGE that shit. i will be the first to admit when i probably went overboard, but i am so fucking sick of being put in a position where if i dont apologize for being fucking straight up verbally, emotionally, mentally, or even physically abused, & responding to that abuse like any fucking body would, ESPECIALLY a person who has existing trauma, im an asshole.

im so. fucking sick. of being alive. this year has broken me. it really, truly fucking has. i lost EVERYTHING. i dont even have a fucking doctor. i am back in the house all my trauma happened in, damned by someone i thought was my best friend who looked me dead in my eyes a month after my daughter died in my arms & told me damning me back to the house every traumatic thing ive ever gone to 'wasnt her problem'. & having to be put right back in the cycles i brutalized myself to get out of.

and the worst fucking part is that this year has left me in such shambles from stress, i physically cannot pick myself up anymore. my alters can't pick themselves up anymore. we are all so fucking burnt out, and it is so fucking draining to lie to ourselves that hope is worth it when we had it all stripped away from us repeatedly in such brutal ways. nonstop. i swear to the moon herself, i mean it when i say not one single day this entire year has been peaceful. has been free from some degree of pain, or straight up agony.

i am tired of beating myself up for being angry. i am tired of being berated by other people for being angry. FUCK all of that shit. this year, and the shitty people who refuse to fucking offer me the same empathy they DEMAND from me, have fucking destroyed me. and i DESERVE TO BE FUCKING PISSED OVER THAT SO I FUCKING WILL BE IM FUCKING PISSED FUCK THIS YEAR FUCK MY ABUSER FUCK HER GODDAMN DEFENDERS FUCK THE BITCH WHO DAMNED ME HERE FUCK MY ENTIRE LIFE IT'S NEVERENDING BULLSHIT AND IM TIRED OF ACTING LIKE ANYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED TO ME WAS OKAY OR THAT I HAVE TO BE OKAY WITH IT!! NONE OF IT WAS OKAY!! IM NOT FUCKING OKAY WITH IT!! NOBODY FUCKING WOULD BE!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#mine #vent #abuse mention// #i had to get all this out im literally so fucking pissed #i went to get food after starving all day bc my abuser was here #and my mom stood in the kitchen doorway and glared at me for almost a full minute #and when i snapped 'what' she cursed me out. bc. u know. #i fucking snapped hearing my abuser SCREAMING for two days straight. #oh but if /i/ have a meltdown where /i/ scream and throw a ~tantrum~? #then it's 'grow the fuck up. ur so immature'. #my sister is fucking 30 years old. and has NEVER fucking honed in her anger. EVER. #but IM the immature one here. not the 30 y/o with TWO CHILDREN WHO NEVER LEARNED TO CONTROL HER ANGER #im so done. #i literally bend over backwards being everyone's goddamn therapist #& then get told im a piece of shit when i too have human emotions & reactions to TRAUMA. #im done! im done. im done. #yall want a fucking apathetic snippy selfish piece of shit i always get framed as for being fucking burnt out after being brutalized #every goddamn day & losing everything in a year? fine. im done being a therapist for fucking free & suffering in silence alone #fuck this shit

[obxsprincess]

heyy girl, how are u? i know ive been kinda missing but i might need your advice on something bc im very confused and unsure (and my friends are being kind of unhelpful bitches lol

So, im in college right? and theres a lot of fraternities around, and I met this guy, a friend of a friend, and he lives in a fraternity.

So far so good right? We kinda flirted with each other for a few days until a party last night where we finally hooked up (i was drunk but everyone said it was pretty hot :)) but i had to leave bc my roomate was very sick so i never got to talk to him abt anything else basically. And my friend said tomorrow they'll have a small party to celebrate a bday on that fraternity, and everyone keeps saying i should lose my virginity to this guy (ik shocking im a virgin), but the thing people dont understand is that i get attached very quickly and to me our kiss basically locked in, so im kinda nervous ill get attached and he wouldnt want anything serious w me

Reading it back it feels kinda dumb but specially for people on campus and SPECIALLY on fraternities is very rare for u to get kinda together w someone so quick, so I DUNNO WHAT TO DO

- 💋

hiii babes, ofc ofc im always here to help!! and remember not even my opinion should persuade you into anything, cus I can only go off of my own experiences with virignity loss and hook ups 💞 but I hope my insights helpful!!

I lost my virginity at 16 back in high school (a long time ago and not at all saying ur guy is like this ! cus he probably isnt! especially cus hes an adult so I hope to fucking hell he isn’t) and it definitely happened very fast and quick, texted for a few days, made out, and then met up to have sex. in summary it ended with my nudes being leaked around the school and almost a felony on my name (for sending them?) but the thing ive took out of it (and only reason for the story, im srry cus I was so young so it might seem weird to include) n held close is to remember trust is one of the most important parts of sex really! because your putting your pleasure and body into someone elses hands, but also your emotional trust because sex is so much more than just getting physical for a few minutes, and its important to remember that the lingering thoughts shouldn’t ever be negative, or the guy broke the trust you put in him. truly the after sex reaction is just as important as being taken care of during. in my experience, because I didnt know the guy well, I went into it blind not knowing what I total asshole he was.

and trust, in my eyes, means knowing you’ll be treated right afterwards no matter what, even without a relationship basic aftercare if the bare minimum. and to me it doesn’t seem like you are convinced he’ll do that for you ! so pls pls be careful 💞 who knows ! he might be an amazing guy but if you arnt ready to take that step yet, don’t ! because the good ones are always willing to wait. I would say text him/talk to him in person if you have to too. because and I’m hoping not but you never know, his and your friends might have ‘talked’, and sex might be on his mind too. so if you feel comfortable, get on the same page with him with whatever you decide angel !! you deserve to lose your virginity and be glowing afterwards, its so much better than regretting it 💗 whether u choose to get to know him better or lose your virginity to him, stay safe bby and use safety <3 (pls make sure to discuss possible STD history on his side too btw !)

hope this helped a little love, love you and never let anyone pressure you please, cus fuck that

#my pretty 💋 anon <3

[fictionfixations]

The Blackthorn Key / Book Series / Thoughts

spoilers. I've read 1-4 I think? i dont know if I read the 5th I cant remember ngl and the 6th is yet to come out yet I believe

i wanna say something

honestly, I just.

This story introduced me to ciphers and honestly a few of them are my favorite, and while some I can't actually remember the name of at all, it's easy to understand the basic idea and I like that at times it goes step by step when deciphering things, like it shows you when you do one thing and it also shows you what clues say so you can try to figure it out but be kinda a little clueless like the characters until they figure it out in a way thats a little complex, but in a way that you the reader can understand and not get lost or overwhelmed.

bro benedict man- sobbing. i didnt know him for long but i got attached. AND THEN HE HIT CHRIS AND IT CONFUSED ME SO BADLY because while i know that its common benedict doesnt do that to chris and then like AND THEN HE WAS DEAD AND WE LEARN THAT HE DID IT FOR CHRIS' SAFETY- I CANT. THIS MAN IS SO FUCKING SELFLESS

chris and tom are pretty young i believe. i dont think we ever got an explicit age but like.. what the fuck? so much stuff happened. so they encounter.. heaven fire thing i dont know- it was like this special type of fire that Benedict was trying to hide but like they got attacked (even though i believe it was trapped) and i just O W and jeez. haha nothing else will totally go wrong then theres like this group of scammers scamming people during the plague and chris and tom of course get involved in it. I mean they solve it eventually after a scare and.. but.. IM PRETTY SURE SOMEONE GOT STABBED (and if im not wrong diED???) FOR THEM sobbing later they discover a persons dead body? i think one of them almost got strangled to death or something i dont know but i just i WHAT they stop this assassin? i think that was trying to kill the thing (i think one of them threw something at the king to stop him from drinking a poisoned drink???)- i think Christopher was at knife point at one point, though I dont remember if it was somewhere at this part or not but i- WHAT and then lets not even TALK about how Christopher lost his memory when he fell off a boat due to a storm i think, and like another time shot at with arrows, SHOT AT WITH BULLETS OR SOMETHING BY THESE LIKE PIRATE PEOPLE-- and they saved like kidnapped children and i just wh AT a LOT happened. and there were STILL puzzles and it wasnt overwhelming, and I actually really liked it and how the author decided to write it like Its gold. i would recommend giving it a read if you like ciphers and puzzles n stuff and just mystery- The story is set in the old times in the UK, England I believe i dont know why im putting the recommendation here at the end when people who assumedly havent read it wont read down to this point lmAO

#blackthorn key #blackthorn #why are there only blackthorns from the shadowhunter tag? i mean i dont mind but im starting to think blackthorn key might be underrated #book series #thoughts

[guideaus]

stampede ep 5 thoughts pt. 1 i guess

WAS THAT REALLY WOLFWOOD'S OLD VA???

i kinda like theyre putting more abt the plant worshippers. in the manga that cult just seemed to be solely an explanation for wolfwood and livio's upbringing, i remember i desperately wanted worldbuilding, but that was about it... not that i expect too much more here

i kinda wanna say smth abt vash being shown sleeping so much, either its an original performative "im not awake, go talk abt whatever serious thing u want" w one eye open, or maybe its him being exhausted from previous events, or maybe it doesnt mean anything idk (which i'd hate). i'd say wolfwood would absolutely be the one to play dead in a fake way, but idk abt this wolfwood yet.

i guess the cult also being located in july sets up livio/others potentially being there?

roberto being a bit more playful, but hes also setting up the ep's conflict i think so :/ again i cant help but think how does he know this

meryl is once again a bad driver in an empty desert

wolfwood's either been let in on the gang (vash)'s issues w knives, or he's just being way too blunt

the animation is nice as always

i just now realized it, but i dont think stampede has ever said why vash is so pacifistic?? obviously no normal person wants to kill anyone, but i think most ppl would understand for a normal case of self defense, not to mention the wacky version of whats going on here. im not sure why theyre holding out on that, or hopefully they will share

its been 5 eps and theyre not very far from jenora's rock (the setting of the first ep), idk how theyre gonna get to july within 12 eps at this pace

hate meryl being useless. in the 2nd ep she at least provided some support

it also doesnt give a reason for wolfwood helping vash (its clearly not friendship)

wolfwood's also got the super perceptive thing going on, so of the main characters, vash purposely is obfuscates, and meryl... is clueless uwu girl, so im wondering if stampede just has an incredibly bad case of telling instead of showing

stampede kind of repeats stuff from the original anime/manga, but doesnt give a reason why. there was a crazy depiction of vash in ep 1, but they never showed any reason for that (while i always disagreed w it in the first place bc his bounty is the key thing causing ppl to wreak havoc trying to get him, i thought originally it was going to be given to him bc he trespassed trying to interact w plants or smth). theres never been a reason shown for him to be called vash the stampede or the humanoid typhoon, it could lead to the revelation of it in this ep, but...

that flashback was kind of weird lmao. i expected more to happen, idk what changed within that short amount of time showing vash and that kid interacting for the kid to go "ok, sure, i'll go back to my village and willingly get sacrificed :)" and its not like vash gave him some out of context advice the kid wrongly misunderstood to interpret as "I should sacrifice myself"

the "if god wont save you, i will" line also felt out of nowhere considering all that happened was vash said his mom sent him to look for him, the kid recognized him as vash the stampede, said he's going to die young bc his sickness, and then seemingly became ok with getting sacrificed before then. i understand theyre giving vash a savior complex (that im not sure was present before..? like obviously hes mr. pacifist, but idk if he ever willingly likened himself to god lol??)

they put conrad with the cult group...

not a fan of how the flashbacks are presented against the current time

and wtf was the group even doing w rollo lmao. turned him into action figure material and then let him loose again lol??

why are meryl and roberto just exploring random buildings instead of trying to help vash...

i wanna say the vash + baby photo is cute, but also im like that implies vash didnt just randomly get saddled w a rescue mission job for a child he just met. how did he not know that town was fucked up then lol

the photo of him looking the exact same (i dont mean age, i mean clothes/hair) reminds me that i wish the characters changes their models in some way

i dont get whats up w rollo, did the cult just experiment on him and let him loose and vash happened to stroll in and he took it out on him, is he attacking as revenge for vash not saving him, is he just a mindless monster?? nothing is really... understandable for some reason

again its reminding me idk wtf stampede is doing concerning the gung ho guns. are they not formally organized here, or not in a group at all... the previous ep's mention by knives abt the gate doesnt mean anything w/o knowing the 90s anime or manga, so here it doesnt mean anything yet...

NOOOO NOT THE KILL WOLFWOOD JUICE NOOOOOOO

i am not sure why whoever at orange chose this moment to have wolfwood do his classic "goes against vash's wishes and kills someone" moment. i think in the manga he did it first w the samurai guy and it was a moment where he stood down, vash turned his back and walked away, and samurai guy was in the middle of doing his super special anime move, and wolfwood said nope. then the anime i think he did it very late and it was w zazie. there i think it was more too that he shot a kid fjhsdjsksds. but here its like... way too early for that. the manga relatively was, but ww had a full volume w vash at that point, and his pre maximum stuff, here in stampede i think that'd just warrant vash telling him to get away from him. ww has done nothing in stampede to solidify his position with vash, in fact doing, something completely against his wishes would earn his hate i think. it wasnt framed as ww showed up and thought vash was going to die, it wasnt a moment where ww saved vash instead of rollo, it wasnt as urgent as zazie or the samurai guy's actions. frankly, i think if they just flat out stole the anime's "legato forces chapel to attack wolfwood after ww shows mercy" v mogami mp100 minori style, that wouldve been more convincing, but... yeah i dont see why that happened lol

ive already seen the manga and anime, so i forgot again, but i think ww probably just seems like an asshole at this point. the previous ep portraying him as a complete liar is v bad for his character, then w him killing someone vash didnt want dead, that makes it worse. ww being the one to call out vash's conflicting ideologies doesnt work here either bc he doesnt have a role of friend yet, he's just someone who heard vash's story, then tried to tell him he's messed up when ww was the one who shot rollo in his least aggressive state. if i was vash, there's no way i'd listen to some guy i just met thats acting superior

the topic of ww killing whoever (rollo in this case) also is different because wolfwood's excuse isnt out of concern for vash this time. zazie or the samurai were potentially about to kill vash, and wolfwood intervened citing his "its us or them" mentality, which vash argues with bc of his skill in avoiding harming others. ww's recognition of vash's skills also lead to his later point that he cant afford to go about life like that since he is human. but the 90s anime and manga that moment was significant bc it highlighted vash's inherited ideals (at least in the anime if i remember right, im not sure if the manga went as hard abt it) from rem abt people's potential for change. stampede also had meryl call vash a coward instead of wolfwood... which is then used for vash to call out nick's behavior in acting in a way that's not true to himself. so idk all in all, it felt like it repeatedly took moments from the original, but in a way where none of it made sense.

#personal #trigun stampede spoilers #me talking about wolfwood here is me going back and forth on spelling his full name out of not

[perceabeth]

hey I’m the anon with the annabeth post pls debate with me 😭 I don’t want to start a fight but I kinda need someone to debate w me about it bc no one really ever tells me why they think my opinions are wrong, people just really love Annabeth in the first series and idk why

okay lol i didn't want to like bully u or anything lol idk how old u are but i'm gna assume ur kind of young kdmfslf

well. going back to your arguments i'm going to be honest, i feel like they're all very superficial. annabeth loves luke as a brother it's a massive driving factor for the climax. she loved him because she believed in her heart that he was a good person and she was validated for it at the end. i'm not even extrapolating. it's literally in the text. i'm afraid to say if u don't believe that then u have missed the point of the entire last two books and the very core of the series-- that home is the only thing worth fighting for. that hope survives best at hearth. luke was annabeth's FAMILY. if u choose to ignore that then idk what to say.

second, you saying annabeth was unfair for not letting percy have his opinions on luke (however justified) while also not thinking to ask yourself if percy wasn't being unfair to annabeth, who, again, had her reasons for not giving up on luke despite the fact that he did in fact try to kill HER as well, is a bit weird to me. but i don't blame u because the fandom LOVES to hold annabeth to a standard they won't hold percy to.

i dont think u understand what paranoia is. good parents won't brush off a child's paranoia. if a kid is screaming for help and crying and clearly distressed it is ur job as a parent to comfort her. u made possibly the worst argument there by calling it paranoia worth ignoring. not to mention the fact that her parents knew she was a demigod and a large part of why she ran away was because they chose to ignore her and make her feel unwanted and a danger to them in her own home. she was seven years old.

also the rachel thing is literally so stupid. she was mean to rachel for a bit and u know what? she's a teenage girl. she's allowed to be a bitch. percy's internal monologue is literally a dick to every single person and yet annabeth delivers ONE devastating line and suddenly that's the worst shit in the world? it not only adds layers to her personality, it also brings to surface her own insecurities and i'm hesitant to use the word, but her trauma from being abandoned for the mortal world. ALSO. she makes friends w rachel almost the second she gives her a chance. her animosity towards people has never lasted long.

she's literally not annoying i think people in the fandom like to play up the fact that she's a know it all (which she is but that also serves the purpose of delivering exposition which nobody wants to acknowledge) but percy himself, our pov character, has never held ANY of her less likeable traits against her, in large part because he shares them, so it always baffles me how easily people will hate her and love him!!

#hope that helps! #stevie #q&a #im turning off reblogs i just dont want it to spiral into a whole Thing

[robertdowneyjjr]

Random but what do you think of rdj and indio’s relationship? Ive noticed he doesnt speak about indio at all, pretty much ever since he started having kids w his wife or his only posts used to be business related. They’ve literally forgotten about him on camera and had to backtrack, not to mention his award speech for dolittle. I get he has young kids etc but its confusing because so many of his hollywood friends have the same family structure as him and yet they always make sure to include their older kids from prev marriage. And its the fact this started happening before the whole arrest ordeal. Like idk i just get the vibe they never try to include him in their little family ever and its sad because i love the way rdj used to speak about indio in his old old interviews etc. Anyway, what do you think? Indio seems quite open on his FB so i dont think its privacy related, besides that shouldnt stop rdj from saying he has 3 kids 💀 ok this is a long message, sorry but i was looking through rdj’s fb and noticed in 2014, he posted a birthday post for exton and on indio’s birthday he posted that pic of him susan and exton w the caption ‘one big happy family’ and..........idk indio deserves better after everything he went through w rdj when he was younger and it clearly had lasting impact —sorry for the super long message, would love to hear your opinion!

hi! interesting question and i'll try and answer but i will begin by saying that i've never kept up with indio's personal or professional life, i don't follow his facebook or instagram or whatever else he's on, so this isn't something i've ever really given thought to at all. in any case, i've thought this particular ask over and this will probably be pretty long of an answer too.

but kids' relationships with their parents are complex. it's hard to compare his relationship with robert to exton and avri's relationship with robert simply because it's a completely different dynamic. like you said, he went through a completely different experience when he was younger because robert was also in a more difficult place in his life and wasn't able to be present the way he is now to his younger children, but i'd like to think things between them now are healthy and positive.

i honestly don't even remember rdj winning an award for dolittle (KCA i'm assuming?? i was very removed from fandom at the time) so i have no idea what he said in his speech. i'm assuming he probably said something about creating a movie that his kids can watch since that was his narrative throughout the press tour, so the key thing i think we need to remember here is that exton and avri are 10 and under, while indio is a full grown adult, almost 30. their needs from their dad are different. rdj's goal was to create a film that young kids could enjoy because exton and avri were too young to watch the movies from the marvel universe, hence the wacky talking animals film. meanwhile, indio has been old enough to watch pg-13 and above rated films for over a decade, all throughout rdj's career with marvel. so it's understandable that indio wouldn't be at the forefront of robert's mind when he's talking about dolittle.

regarding including indio on camera and social posts and whatnot, i don't think we can analyze their relationship just from what rdj and indio make available to the public. exton and avri are more visible in rdj's posts because they're young children who are still living with their parents. they go wherever robert and susan go, so naturally they would be more involved in the day-to-day of rdj's work when he's promoting things. indio's an adult who, i'm pretty sure, lives on his own. he's not going to be around every time rdj's posting something. we also really can't assume that indio is open about things and unconcerned about privacy just because he posts here and there on facebook. now, i'm not actually on facebook and i have no idea what his account is, but unless it's a fan page you're talking about i'm assuming this is his own account? if that's the case we need to remember that facebook profiles are generally private, for them to share whatever they feel comfortable with among a small community (regardless of their actual privacy settings; sometimes they just don't know how to change those because fb itself changes policies all the damn time).

the dose's instagram page doesn't update all that often either, so i personally believe that indio himself just isn't interested in that kind of visibility unless it's to promote his music. it's understandable that rdj wouldn't post much about indio either, if he'd rather just keep a low profile. honestly i think it's respectable that he seems to want to let his music speak for itself rather than just completely rely on his father's position in hollywood to be successful.

just because indio isn't featured as heavily on rdj's social pages it doesn't mean his dad loves him any less than his other children. indio has his own life and is working independently to do what he loves. it's clear that robert supports indio fully. he promotes and goes to indio's shows whenever he can. he's involved with the record label that the dose is signed with. he shows up on set when indio films his music videos. he was just pictured with indio a couple months ago (posted on someone else's ig account). so evidently they do have a good relationship.

we have to remember that robert himself is actually also a very private person. they let us see what they feel comfortable with sharing with the masses. so we can't use social media and a few interviews and speeches as the only basis to evaluate their relationship, nor do i think we have any right to judge when we have only a mere fraction of the full picture.

#i guess i'm giving this an indio tag #i don't even remember if i had one for him?? #lmaooo #indio falconer downey #??? #or #indio downey #rdj #anonymous #ask

[pinkseas]

[parasocial bestie] squishing ur cheeks so hard (gently) right now youre so cute UR PARTNERS VERY SWEET AND I GET YOU THO like personally,...

to me i have a mixed feeling with kisses cus of family complications and other social stuff etc etc that twists a lil of my view to physical affections in general, but it doesnt stop me into understanding it in fictional creations and to myself as someone who's not interested in romantic associations. so i think!! platonic and familial is what rlly matters 2 me when presenting these things.

i hope u know how much it makes me Not Sane for zhongli being softly indulgent to xiao especially on his most vulnerable moment (bc by god does he need that extensive care and love despite the spiralling), but not too mushy and direct (going segway a bit that while i hold parental zhongli Very Dearly i do not dig the idea he does it to the extent of inf*ntilizing xiao, hes still a [young] adult but just very confused how to be one, so the treatment IS still specific) but patient and gentle. and when the adeptus isnt awake in such situations, the former archon would plant a light kiss on his forehead too (doing when xiao is awake would be a whole other thought spiral and confusion to the poor guy). very rare moment, but very valuable.

a lot more rare when its on lumine getting her unspoken concern and care to him in an affectionate way that's not just holding his hand for reassurance or light but solid hold on his shoulder to keep his whirling internal conflict grounded. i could literally count on one hand (TWO FINGERS INCLUDING THE ANGEL KISS) that she ever kissed xiao at all before she left.

so it just,... matters to me a lot of xiao's relationships to others with the emphasis of his unwilling repulsion to affection, cus on both reasons he doesnt think hes worth one and that he doesnt know how it will work for him yknow [[explodes

NO BC i dont think ive seen full on infantilization of xiao (Yet.) but the thought of it just now esp w/ zhongli flooded dread through every ounce of my being dear Lord. no yeah he is very much still a young adult and zhongli Gets It zhongli knows whats up <333 AND THE LITTLE FOREHEAD KISS WHILE XIAO IS ASLEEP............ EXPLODES AND DIES INSTANTLY

the shoulder hold to help keep him grounded mgmfgnfmngmnfgmnfmng dies. dies. dies. dies. DOESNT THINK HES WORTH IT AND DOESNT KNOW HOW ILL WORK FOR HIM that's so real of him tbh like i Get It king me too <- said as if i dont put him in so many situations with So Much affection because i cant get the idea of him w/ the traveler specifically being very casually physically affectionate out of my head after seeing the way he holds onto them during that One cutscene. um. anyways ^_^

what if we both exploded what if we just held hands and then exploded that'd be pretty awesome i think. my cat is here as i write this she can explode too i think she'd appreciate the experience. staring directly at her as i type this Patches What Are Your Thoughts On Xiao Genshin Impact. Be Honest.

i need to get my ass in gear and write more on god like. him being casually affectionate gets me so bad but him being touch repulsed or touch starved or both or him only really accepting physical contact of anytime in combat because thats just how it works or him feeling as though he doesnt deserve the affection or smth i actually have partially written with him enjoying/accepting it from lumine but having no idea how to reciprocate in the slightest or or or or. i need to write All Of It i need to explore All Of It or else i will explode

#parasocial bestie tag

[thepictureofsdr]

i saw your post about alastair and now im curious about all ut thoughts on Matthew

this ask. is like half a year old. I am So Sorry however i have thought about it literally every day bc my feelings on him are so… complex

i think i can break it down into two categories: 1. his character in context of the whole series, and 2. the bubble of his character, not taking into account his actions and impact towards other people

1. um. he makes me SO MAD. listen i have said time and time again that the thieves dont owe alastair forgiveness but that doesn’t extend to matthew actively trying to fuck up alastairs life. what pisses me off is that this whole agenda is centered on matthews wants, its not because he cares about his friends and wants them away from someone he thinks is bad. when he tells thomas about alastair at the party, there’s no concern for thomas. hes told at their best friends party, probably the first night of happiness since his sister was killed, while intoxicated and very much in public. math didnt take thomas aside or wait for a better moment. [I DONT HATE MATH I JUST LOVE THOMAS] matthew doesnt like alastair, so no one can like alastair, even if he has to hurt others to obtain that. hes very clearly stringing the other thieves along in this its just for him, they all like alastair or dont care about the past. kit doesnt give a shit, james respects alastair to a degree and thomas is head over heels. he even manages to make cordelia call his manipulation of alastair “kind.” he condemns alastair for spreading rumours yet he himself has deemed spreading gossip fun [i can’t STAND hypocrisy its a very easy way to get me to dislike a character unfortunately] he unconsciously blames alastair for the death of his sibling and now alastair and thomas are paying for it. understanding where a mental dip and lashing out are coming from can happen at the same time as not agreeing with it. i understand why matthew acts like this but that doesnt mean i can just ignore how matthew pushed alastair back down to his lowest yknow?

2. i adore him, and i sympathize with him, and he makes my heart hurt in every possible way. he was my tied fave character in tales, this young energetic boy who wants to be friends w the quiet kid, who stood up for his friends, and my heart SHATTERED when i read the poison story. at his core hes a genuinely good person, so i can’t even imagine the guilt thats been crushing him all these years. not only the pain of hurting his mother but killing the baby, my heart breaks every time i think about him and what he’s been carrying all these years. it hurts to even think about this burden hes placed on himself, the silence and ever growing self hatred and inherent belief that hes a problem. all i want is for him to receive that forgiveness hes been desperately needing for so long, and for him to see himself through the eyes of others, for him to see that goodness he possesses and the light he brings into the lives of others and for him to be loved as he so deserves.

there’s more but i cant lie im really scared of matthew lovers but also id feel so bad leaving this in drafts 😭 all in all my feelings on him are so complicated, i love him but hes also hurt someone else i love, hes a walking grey area. but i dont hate him, i feel like a lot of people are quick to assume any criticism is pure unfiltered hatred which clearly isn’t true considering my fave is ALASTAIR talk about someone who’s actions can be criticized 😭

#tysm for the ask!!! <3 #answered ask

[smallbirdbigcoat]

OMG i love that!!!! blondie are SO good i love dancing to their stuff. do you have a favorite blondie song? its been good! very rainy & i had a test but i think i did good on it:) how was yours? top ten, i realised halfway thru i'd run of of like. text so i stopped giving long explanations … i am just very. talkative sometimes haha 1) lulu by metallica & lou reed: i am very much aware that it is considered one of the worst albums ever created but i PERSONALLY think thats cuz people just dont understand the concept of it. & are not familiar w/ lou's work. i think its a masterpiece i think its a very unique and poignant album and listening to it makes me go insane. i think its really just a phenomenal album and i will literally die on this hill. my #1 album of all time 1.5 (2) bummer by cleopatrick: i sometimes cite this as my favorite album of all time when i don't feel like causing drama over lulu. more often i'll cite it as my favorite album of all time because i am the hardcore cleopatrick fan ive been listening to them since like. 7th grade and i love this album so MUCH its literally so good, the lyrics are flawless the flow is phenomenal the drumming on this is LITERALLY unparalleled. and the guitar tone is SO good. and all the songs are sooooo good like 2008??? literally one of the best songs ever. great lakes is a masterpiece and so is vic park and the drake and…its just SO good. instantly lifts my mood 3) welcome to hell by venom: i love the evil vibe plus ppl take it so seriously when venom literally wear the sluttiest outfits possible

4) blank generation by richard hell: my first introduction richard hell was an article by lester bangs where he talked about how he thought richard hell's music is incredible and how he thought that richard hell had a great grasp of the problems of being alive in the 70s but his solutions were absolute dog shit. which made me want to listen to the album, as a good review will, and now its one of my favorite records. forever mad this is the only proper LP they did. i love his delivery, the guitar work is so unique, and i think the lyrics are still so real & relevant 5) pretty on the inside by hole: sooo raw im a big courtney fan tbh i love her work. holes best album was for sure live through this (nobody's daughter is a close second imo!) but pretty on the inside is my personal favorite cuz its pink! & bc i think its the rawest of holes discog. i like the discordantness of it its so exciting to me 6) welcome the plague year self-titled: PHENOMENAL scramz album its so raw & i think its the best album from that era of scramz & i just adore it. 7) germ-free adolescence by the x-ray specs: prob the only british punk band from the 70s or 80s id cite as a favorite, i just adore everything abt this album 8) lets take it to the stage by funkadelic: groovy! funky! rocking! also i love bootsy collins 9) are you experienced by the jimi hendrix experience: cures headaches somehow?? not complaining though 10) rust never sleeps by neil young: first neil young album i listened to, hes definitely my favorite singer/songwriter of the 70s :) honorary mention to blue by joni mitchell, grateful dead's 13th february 1970 at fillmore east show even tho its not an album, opening fire by powertrip & killing is my business… by megadeth i think i've put you through enough reading with this for today so have a nice day!! i hope the whole thing sends LOL

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that’s such a good list! i’ve just gotten into richard hell recently, and i haven’t listened to that full album yet but i’ll have to give it a go for sure!!!

picking my favourite blondie song is so hard omg. i’d probably have to go with dreaming, denis or hanging on the telephone, but picture this, in the flesh and atomic are very much up there! what’s your favourite?

#srs22