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#you’re doing nothing wrong I promise I just know how to care for myself online in a healthy manner
frecklydork · 11 months
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I want to say real quick, again, thank you guys so much for sending me asks. The messages just keep pouring and I cannot put into words how much it means to me, how much I need them right now. I know writing messages takes energy, and half of you don’t even know me, some of you are even saying “oh I just followed you today, I hope you feel better” and!! That’s so kind!!! I fucking love you guys. Thank you for using your time and energy, choosing to write to me. I know I’m just a stranger on the internet, but across the screens, you’re helping a real breathing person heal.
I missed so many of you, even the people I only interacted with one time, like for a commission you bought from me, or maybe you wrote a nice tag on my art, I do remember you fondly. I always remember when someone is kind to me because I didn’t grow up surrounded by kind people; when I recognize acts of kindness, I really hold onto it. 
To the newcomers, welcome to my blog, and I’m so sorry you’re seeing me like this. I want to say I’m not normally in such devastated state, but I’ve felt so incredibly hopeless for such a long amount of time, I’m not quite sure how to be my old self again. I’m really hoping I can heal one day, and it feels a little bit more possible because of your support. It’s so touching that there’s so many of you who are like “oh I just found your blog today and I’m sending you so much love”. You’re seeing me in such a raw, wounded state, and yet you’re still willing to extend your positivity even though you don’t know me. It means so much.
I cannot tell you how comforting it feels to open my inbox and my dms and re-read all of these messages you’re sending me. And then I’ll refresh and suddenly there will be more. I promise you I am reading every single one of them, and I am slowly but surely answering as many as I can, even if I’m so slow at it, I’m very rusty from not speaking to almost anyone for nearly 9 months lol. Not only do I feel encouraged when you’re lifting me up like this, but spending a few minutes distracting my mind from the traumatic events by focusing on reading your words, it helps to ground me. When I feel more vulnerable to flashbacks, whether it’s just that kind of day where I wake up and the wounds are reopened, or maybe I’ve been triggered by something and my emotions are raw, I’ll try to open my inbox and read your messages again, to try to ground myself. Some of you are even worried about putting content warnings onto your asks, which is so sweet. I promise you you don’t have to do that, but that’s so incredibly nice of you to even think about that. You don’t have to worry about whether your transformers URLs are going to make me flinch, or if there’s pink profile pictures, or if you mention Starscream or Knockout or Megatron or Bee or literally whomever. Just the fact that you’re being careful with me, that’s so sweet, I can’t believe how all of you, 100% of you, have taken me seriously. None of you have made fun of me, none of you have put me down for being scared -- hell, even non-self shippers have told me they support me in my journey to reclaiming the many characters I’ve lost. I think I’ve reached over 100 messages in the last three days that I’ve returned, and all of them are nothing but kind and empathetic. I’m shocked. 
I really thought I was going to be in this alone. I really didn’t expect anyone to believe me. A few of M’s close friends blocked me back when she was manipulating me, and it hurt, because I didn’t even know what I had done wrong. No explanation, I had lost a few people who I thought I was close with. And it was just more fuel for her to tell me how she would think I’m special, that she would never leave me like that. I was scared that when I’d return online, everyone would shun me, that she might be spreading rumors about me (which she is known to do). But I’ve even had FIVE PEOPLE come forward in the last two days and say “I know who you’re venting about, even though you didn’t say her name, and she hurt me too. She hurts a lot of people and I’m sorry she hurt you. Don’t let her ruin Transformers for you, it’s yours.” I felt so relieved to hear I wasn’t alone, that we’re not alone, that I’m not going crazy. Thank you guys for validating my feelings. 
My ask box is always open, my dms are always open (when they’re not being glitchy lol) and none of you should ever worry about “being too overwhelming” when sending messages. You’re not tiring me out, you’re not making me feel pressured to respond. You’re all making me feel seen. You can send me 500 supportive messages and I am going to read all of them. I had no idea how much I needed support until I received it. I burst into tears the first time you guys started messaging me because I was awash with relief. You’re all really helping me get onto the path of healing and I appreciate you so much. Thank you for helping me and thank you for being patient with me as I heal. 
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lonelyvomit · 2 years
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Dear Abby,
about age crisis. I turned 34 a few days ago and it’s very scary because it’s only one year away from the ACTUAL SCARY age which is 35. My birthday is in August so my age crisis lasts through every summer 🙃
The thing is that I’m big at putting schedules and deadlines on myself because otherwise I get nothing done. I gave myself an ultimatum to get in to university before I turned 25 and I did, then to graduate with masters before I turned 30 and I did. Last year my resolution was to get a job after six months of unemployment and I did, you get the drill.
Now, I haven’t been dating anyone in over nine years. Last time I dated I was 24 and it was this on guy from uni who I didn’t even like but I figured that maybe I don’t have to like the person I’m dating, you know, because you constantly see couples that are having arguments or not seem to care that much about each other and they still make it work somehow, so apparently love is not needed at all right? :)
The guy I was dating kept constantly picking me and pointing out my flaws. I should lose weight, I shouldn’t focus on my studies so much (when I had just got into uni after years of trying and it was the biggest dream come true I’ve ever had), how I should go to therapy to stop being introvert and became “normal” like him, how I was terrible company when I was sick, how I was disappointing him when I had to go sleep early to be able to get up and go to work because I had to finance my studies somehow (he still lived at home and didn’t progress in his studies at all that I know of) and how I should stop apologizing constantly after he’d spent a nice evening walk together listing everything that was wrong with me. And I still thought that maybe he is right. That I should just change everything I am and have ever been so I could be lovable.
In the end I found my figurative balls and dumped him after listening to that crap for FIVE months. I was about to turn 25 and I promised myself that after going through that shitstorm I could go for the next ten years without trying to pursue a relationship and do what I want: get my degree, travel, party, all that without anyone restricting me.
But I did put another deadline fo myself: I’d be in a relationship when I turn 35. Because ten years is SUCH a long time, right? Now it’s less than a year. And I’m freaking out, because I keep thinking that most likely I won’t meet anyone before my next birthday, or never, or even worse, meet someone like my ex.
Otherwise I wouldn’t maybe give a shit, but 35 is also very much the age when I have to make the final decision if I ever want to try for biological children or not. But if I’m not in a stable relationship by then, there is no decision to make. And I really don’t know.
Thanks to this and all other ✨stuff✨ going on in my head I did seek professional help some time ago. I was guided to an online therapist. Their hot take was “why don’t you just try not to think about things that make you upset” :)
Sorry for this essay. You don’t have to answer or post it if you don’t want to. I just needed to pour my thoughts somewhere and you’re possibly the most kind and understanding and non-judgmental person I’ve ever had the fortune to know. I really hope you’re having a good day 💐🖤
Lots of love, Bec
🫂 I assume that guy from uni is long gone out of your life but ngl I hold grudges and I'm more than willing to take my cactus to meet him 😌
I can definitely see self-made deadlines and goals being good motivators and I hope you feel proud of the ones you've reached! but they do get counterintuitive when you realize you might miss one - and tbh idk anyone who's life is so perfect they can breeze through it exactly like they planned (ok maybe like millionaire kids but like. out of us normal people lol), so I feel like that disappointment comes to everyone at one point or another. and I can see why this is a big one when the question of kids is on the table too, but I'm also happy you know better than try to settle for someone like the last guy.
of course I hope you find your perfect match within the next year just cus you deserve someone who makes you happy, but even more so I hope you get to a place where you wont be too upset if you don't. sure, the question of biological kids is there, but the entire question of parenthood is not. there's ways later on when you find the right person, and I mean if the biological thing is really important, you can still consider getting your eggs frozen or something (idk how expensive or complicated that shit is so maybe an unrealistic idea but I'm throwing it in there anyway). having experienced everything you have thanks to not having a family to raise early on is gonna make you a kick-ass mom one day if you want to become one. 🖤
also I'm going to bite your online therapist in the unsexiest way possible.
you're the sweetest, you're doing amazing, I love you, you've got this babe 🖤
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TW: SA
Something that’s kept secret about the aftermath of sexual assault, especially subtle assaults that people say “aren’t a big deal,” is that it can make you completely paranoid that the way you’re touching someone could be unintentionally traumatizing them. Because I’ve done so much rationalizing that my assaulter didn’t mean it, that it was too slight to matter, and that I overreacted, I now place extreme weight on exactly how I touch and am touched. It’s especially difficult to trust people when they unexpectedly touch me on the shoulder, because I remember the time it got scary and start to feel guilty all over again. Guilty for knowing that I was touched in a sexual place without my consent, but wondering if it was an accident and well-intentioned. Guilty for leaning on them before it happened, because it makes me think I’m just as bad. Guilty for speaking up, because I’ve been told by so many people I trust (including my assaulter) that it wasn’t assault. Guilty for continuing to do physical things with that person, because I think I manipulated them into touching me when I didn’t want to be touched.
OCD makes this even more complicated. I’ve had periods where I’ve had to compulsively re-enact the way I was touched on myself, to determine any possible way that it could have been accidental. I go over every time I felt too guilty and afraid to make myself say “no” or “stop,” and convince myself that I subconsciously manipulated that person into touching me and that I’m the abuser. BPD makes it even worse, because of how terrifying it is to speak up and risk losing someone that your trauma posits as the only person worth knowing. And because my reactions to being invalidated and left by my favorite person (aka my assaulter) were obsessive and “crazy” (which they were; I harassed them online begging for attention and accountability and to talk to me, which was really wrong). I kept feeling uncomfortable, kept blaming myself, and stayed convinced that I was the one causing harm because I ended up starting to crave unwanted intimacy and discomfort and it was eventually all I could think about.
People tell me my assault wasn’t assault, but I still get somatic memories where my arms feel like fire because that’s where I was touched first before that hand snaked up to my chest and I finally felt nothing. I still get flashbacks to touching people and being so terrified by initiating that it made me dizzy and sick. I still have distorted memories and fear surrounding physical intimacy. I started abusing substances despite promising myself I’d never do that, to make touch bearable and so that I wouldn’t feel to blame for it. I’m still terrified of talking about it, because I think it’s my fault and I’ve been convinced that I’m manipulative and so I no longer trust my own memories and perceptions. And I’m still obsessed with my abuser. And the way I confronted them, hysterical, while they calmly reminded me of every detail I’d misremembered and every reason it wasn’t wrong, every reason I was the one who’d made them uncomfortable, has terrified me into eventual silence. But at this point I just don’t care what they have to say about my reactions and what they think of me. I know what the truth is, though it’s been warped, and I hope someday that will be enough for me to allow myself peace.
I’ve read that people who’ve been assaulted often feel like they caused their assault, but I haven’t seen much about the fear of causing someone else to feel the way you felt, and the constant analyzing of every form of contact to determine whether it was consensual and whether there were somehow sexual intentions behind it. The fear of being predatory has emerged for me with people who’ve made me uncomfortable through touch, because I typically end up wanting more of that discomfort and powerlessness from them, and I then panic that I’m the abuser for continuing contact.
I hope this is something that people can relate to and maybe get some relief from by seeing that they’re not alone. Becoming addicted to your abuser and trying so hard not to accept that they’re your abuser, that it’s you instead, that you secretly wanted it and you made it happen and that therefore you’re the predator, it fucks with you in incomprehensible ways. I remember telling my assaulter that I had abused THEM, because I was so convinced of it. This terrifies me further, because they have that false admission of guilt forever. But I’m going to try to stop blaming myself. I hope other victims are taking steps on this journey too. The fear that it’s my fault and that I’m the one who should feel ashamed, it’s been killing me. I don’t want to let it kill me anymore, while my assaulter gets to blame me and feel no remorse.
My black-and-white thinking constantly gets the best of me. It convinces me that my “hysterical” episodes somehow cancel out the fact that I was assaulted. It feels like I’m being manipulative, for begging to just be held, for begging to just be loved by the same person who destroyed my ability to trust touch in the first place. I’m terrified that I became just like them, because my understanding of consent has been destroyed by the subtle wearing-down of my physical and emotional boundaries over time. It feels like I’m a dirty liar. It feels like I deserve to suffer. But I deserve peace. I was assaulted. And I have to choose to be the one person who believes me every day. I hope it gets easier.
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dividethesheepy · 1 year
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late night rant. I’m ok I promise lol
I can’t grasp the idea that I’ll be ever good for someone. Its been about a year and some change now and I’m still haunted by this bs. I gave my everything into that relationship and just feel so used up and neglected and cheated out of years of my life. Like even in a pandemic, bits of me were taken away from me mentality and I held it down. But when it was the other way around I was left in the dust, spent a whole year with my Ex and her new partner. The strength it took not to do anything crazy is frightening. I have too much to lose on top of what I’ve already lost. I know its stupid to dwell on the past but its just hard sometimes. Not everyone goes through the same hardships and people take those hardships differently. Were not all built the same way, so this will be effecting me until I decide for myself my worth and get over my fears. I deserve the best but am I owed the best? No, I got to work harder and get back into life and replace the last 4 wasted years. OK no I wont say they were entirely wasted. I did learn some things and became a better adult but to endure the pain and suffering it wasn’t worth it. That person took a lot more away than they think, or choose to think... fact is they were dumb as rocks when it came to common sense. There’s talent there but they don’t see it and they feed off the person willing to provide that to them. Its stupid to think just because your ex did that to you and you were fine with it and actually enjoyed being in that situation doesn’t me I’m going to give the same mutual feeling. I was crushed, defeated, and imprisoned there were multiple times I could’ve fucked you over but decided against it, and you used it against me. You knew I would never do it, you took the genuine person in me and manipulated it and then when it came to you in the same situation you took the first chance you took. That’s fucked up, and I hope more karma comes your way.
Call it what you want, I am disgruntled, I am envious, I am vengeful, I hold grudges, IDC that’s me, that’s who I am. Doesn’t matter how many times you think you did nothing wrong, and choose to believe that you’re some nice person who cares about your friends. You can keep neglecting all I’ve done for you by putting him on a pedestal like he was your savior. Things you wanted and got vs things I wanted and never got. I still have all the letters you gave me and it hurts reading them because they are all lies to me now. How can one put so much heart into it and then poof do more and present more to the new guy than what you’ve done for me. All fake yooo that’s who you really are. You can choose to believe whatever your little mind tells you but in reality you’re a cold hearted bitch. 
I’m sorry I got to stop looking a social media, small shit really triggers me and look I wrote a lot just now. Had to just relive some steam. I’m playing two people now when it comes to that person. I’m a friend online but in real life you anything, just somebody I use to know... yeah I know Goyte pun lol.
I miss my cat so much too, she got to keep the cat in the divorce... fucking cunt. It sucked too cuz I think she favored her more than me because she spent the most time with her than me cuz I always worked. I always made time that I could provide but it wasn’t enough, she always wanted to be with her even though she neglected her most of the time lol. Now on twitter I just retweet cat photos or videos cuz thats how much I miss that fucking bitch lol.
I’m really a complexed person I would go to bat for someone or ask if they need something or is something is wrong but could never get the same. And I don’t like to ask for that treatment back, I’m very prideful and stubborn but damn my mental be hurting a lot. Like I've never lived alone in my life but since last year it really does feel like I live alone. I’m never here I’m always working I barely see anyone. The one person I actually called and want to call is gone now so its just empty feelings now. It pains me because I feel like I had all that time to actually be with my mom and didn’t grasp it because I made other obligations to others. Now that its reverse she isn’t available and I’ve wasted all that precious time. Its going to hurt for a long time, Christmas was horrible, New Years was devastating, I called my stepdad on his birthday because my mom would always text me to call him and I didn’t get one this year but I remember it clear as day because she never made me forget it lol. 
I miss my mom everyday, and I keep hearing her voice hella randomly and it just hurts that I won’t hear anything else from her. That day was probably the worse day of my life, the pain I endured that day was so heartbreaking. I appreciate everyone I called and comforted me during that dark time. Always take the time to talk to your parents even if you're hella busy you step right the fuck out and you answer that call because you never know if that would be the last time you talk/see them ever again. Cherish every moment because they can just poof.
In the end the only thing I got out of the last 4 years was loss and an estimated 12,000 closet. My dog, My cat, My relationship and my mom all in a year and 55 pairs of shoes because it fills the hole in me from those losses. 
Honestly I feel much better just typing this all out. fuck a diary RETURN OF TUMBLR lol.
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stayathomesurveys · 1 year
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127.
How many people have you liked this year? One.
How many pills do you take a day? Two.
Do you have any celebrity crushes? Jon Hamm lololol.
If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Teleporting, being able to make myself look however I want, or the ability to grow money lol.
Do you put ketchup on top of your French fries or on the side? The side.
Where did you last sleep other than your house? My sister’s house.
Where did you get your last bruise from? I hit my arm on the doorknob.
Is it okay to kiss people when you’re single? Yeah.
Ever worn something of the opposite sex’s clothing? Yes.
Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? Maybe.
Last CD you blasted through your car stereo? I have no idea, that was many years ago.
How many email accounts do you have? Two.
Who is the best cook in your family? My parents and brother are all good cooks. They each have their specialties.
Which baby animal is your favorite? Puppies and giraffes. Honestly, though, baby animals in general are all pretty cute.
Have you ever carved a pumpkin? Many times. It’s been a few years since the last time, though.
When is the last time you went to a carnival? Back in high school at our school carnival.
Do you have a favorite glass, cup, or mug? Yeah. Currently, it’s my Reese’s mug I got for Christmas. I’ve been seriously obsessed with Reese’s the past few months and for Christmas I got a Reese’s gift set that came with candy and 2 mugs and my stocking was full of Reese’s lmao.
What branch of science interests you the most? Psychology.
Have you ever written anything longer than 10 pages? Yeah, in college.
Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with via text? I haven’t had any deep conversations via text in a long time.
Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr for sure.
Have you ever been given a lapdance by an actual stripper? No.
Favorite YouTuber? I have several.
Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No.
Have you ever written a love letter to someone as a joke? No.
Do you have any gay family members? Yes, a few.
Was your first kiss romantic? No, it was super awkward lol but it was cute.
What are you most likely to go to jail for? I have no idea. I can’t even imagine.
Who was the last person to sleep over at your house? My aunt. She’s staying this weekend, actually.
What would you think if you found out your ex was gay? I would trip out a bit just cause that would come as a total surprise. I don’t have any feeling that he might be. It wouldn’t matter of course, I would just be surprised.
How many people has your best friend had sex with? I don’t have any friends.
When was the last time you had a conversation with an ex? Several years ago.
Are you currently “appearing offline” to anybody? I don’t think so. I think Tumblr shows when you’re online and I haven’t tried messing with the settings. I don’t care.
What were you for Halloween last year? Nothing. I stopped dressing up several years ago.
Do you believe that karma can come back and slap you in the face? I don’t believe in karma.
Have you ever been to Texas? No.
Do your siblings text you? My younger brother and I do. Mostly it’s memes and TikToks.
Have you ever searched for your own house on Google Earth? Of course. That’s like the first thing everyone did. You can look up anywhere and for some reason we all had to look up our own houses lmao.
Did your last kiss end up with you and the person doing anything sexual? No.
Who is your ex dating/talking to? I have no idea, nor do I care.
Who did you last pinky promise with? I don’t recall the last time I did that.
Did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings? No.
What happened at the last party you went to? I haven’t been to a party in several years. And parties for me were small get togethers with friends or family, I was never a big partier.
Have you ever completely misunderstood what somebody was saying? Yeah.
When was the last time you felt ill? What was wrong? I always do in some way or another, but I had a bacterial infection a couple weeks ago and felt really shitty. Thankfully, my doctor was able to prescribe me some antibiotics and I felt better within a few days.
Who was your first best friend? Do you still speak to that person? These two girls, Crystal and Starr, in preschool. We sadly lost touch after preschool cause we went to different schools.
Are you wearing anything that was given to you as a gift? Yes, my shirt and my rings.
What is your least favourite song, by your favourite artist? I don’t feel like thinking about it.
What color is your jewelry box? I don’t have one.
Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? No.
What is your brother/sister’s favorite food? My younger brother loves Mexican and Korean BBQ and my older brother is a vegetarian and mostly eats just veggies.
Do you have any ice cream in your freezer? What flavour is it? I’m not sure.
In your life, who is the person that seems to understand you the most? My mom.
Are you afraid of losing the person you like right now? I don’t like anyone.
Does anyone know your Facebook password? No.
Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? No.
Do you enjoy being outdoors? Only if I’m at the beach.
How many times have you been to a zoo? Many times.
What’re some unspeakable subjects for you? Hm. I don’t know. There’s certainly subjects I’d rather not talk about, but not one I wouldn’t talk about at all that I can think of.
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Are you a salesperson or a service person?
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When I saw LinkedIn offers a free session called, “The Ultimate 2022 Client Acquisition Marketing Guide,” my first thought was, “This is too good to be true, but why not sit in to see what the presenters have to say?  Maybe I’ll learn something.”
The “too-good-to-be-true part” came from the claims the speakers, Cory Sanchez and Ira Rosen, made in the email promoting the videocast, which promised:
“How to increase your networking results by 10X. You’ll get 10x more connections, 10x more appointments, and 10x more sales!
“How to cut your current sales cycle in half and have them practically begging to work with you!
“The ONE simple thing that gets prospects and clients to take immediate action (they’ll chase you down)!
“7 proven principles of modern-day selling with digital media - without ever leaving your office!
“The #1, single most effective platform for successful networking online (if you’re not on this platform…you’re dead in the water)!”
Could you jam anymore explanation points into these bullets!  I thought not!!  And what about ten times more sales!!!! Why not 100 times, or 1000 times!!!!!  
Against better judgment, I practiced suspension of disbelief, registering, attending, and enduring the session for 30 minutes.  Having grown weary of watching paint dry, I mercifully spared myself any more punishment and signed off.  
Did I learn anything?
Nothing.  Nada.  Zip. Zero.  Zilch.
Those claims I mentioned? It was clear we had crossed over to the land of preposterous, absurd, foolish hyperbole – who makes an unfounded, unsupported, utterly ridiculous assertions like these, then does nothing to prove them? Transaction-focused, “I-need-to-close-the-deal-now” salespeople, that’s who.  People like Cory Sanchez and Ira Rosen, who care only about selling people, not serving them.
Most salespeople I know, the ones who populate my LinkedIn messages with ridiculous pitches, behave this way; a very few do not.  One of the those very few is Mandy McEwen.
McEwen is invested in showing readers and listeners the “how” of things, as in, “This is how you build your personal brand,” or, “This is how you build an effective LinkedIn profile,” or, “This is how you present yourself in a video.”   She doesn’t just tell you, she shows you.
Does McEwen want to sell to the people with whom she is connecting?  Of course she does; she is, among other things, a salesperson.  I suspect all of us are in the business of selling something, be it a product, a service, or both.  But most go about it the wrong way, like Cory Sanchez and Ira Rosen.
These are the people you dismiss.  The people you listen to?  Mandy McEwen is one, because she is at heart not a salesperson, but a service person.
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dr-piss-thief-phd · 3 years
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My dash hasn’t had any relevance to any of my interests for years now and tbh I wouldn’t have it any other way
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dawn-of-tomorrow · 3 years
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Wanshi/Banji : Fate (Voicelines)
Construct Acquisition: Nice to meet you, I’m Wanshi from the Strike Hawk squad. Is this gonna be another troublesome mission…? I’m so exhausted… zzz…
LVL Up: Feeling a bit more lively… I think.
Promotion: If this is how you show your approval, then, perhaps I can accept this.
Evolve: Looks like I’ll have to take things just a bit more seriously now.
Skill Enhancement: Reloaded, prepared, examined, hah-- about time I take a break and sleep.
Equipment: Accuracy, range, ammunition capacity… it’s a reliable firearm.
Added to the squad: Huff-haaaa… time to get back to work.
Appointed as captain: If you’re the Captain, then does that mean you get a longer rest time…? I see, looks like that’s not the case, huh.
Mission Complete: Hah… then, is it alright if I go take a nap now?
Daily Conversation 1: (Yawn)...
Daily Conversation 2: Is there trouble brewing again? Mn...(yawn)… Captain Chrome should be on standby back at base right now, and there ought to be about 5 more minutes left till the next mission starts.
Daily Conversation 3: Reclaim the Earth and defeat the Punishing. What a lofty goal, that is…
Daily Conversation 4: “As long as you have the resolve, then everything will go well”… From whom did you hear this? Kamui?
Daily Conversation 5: I think the location of the base’s break room is… yeah, I remember it now.
Daily Conversation 6: The “wish-granting machine” setting only works for children, you know. Are you a child or what?
Daily Conversation 7: You want to see how I look when I’m serious? It’d probably be for the best if you were to never encounter any situation where I have to give it my all, at least that’s what I hope for.
Daily Conversation 8: What? You want to know… if it’s possible for a Construct to see the Commandant in a dream? …Mn, yes.
Daily Conversation 9: Looks like we meet again, Commandant. Hm? When was that, you ask? It was last night when I was already in bed… ah, Captain, please stop hitting me, I was just kidding; I was talking about my dreams, we met in my dreams!
Daily Conversation 10: Presumably, a Construct has no definite lifespan, meaning that the emotional data within their sea of consciousness will only continue to grow and accumulate. It’s almost like a never-ending, infinitely-expanding dream… rather interesting, isn’t it?
Daily Conversation 11: It’s because of you that this foreboding world I keep waking up to doesn’t seem so bad.
Daily Conversation 12: What incredible recovery abilities… oh, no, I wasn’t talking about Liv; I was referring to you, Commandant.
Daily Conversation 13: … Since I’m usually lazy and listless, when do I usually get serious, you ask? Right now, I’m serious about you.
Daily Conversation 14: You are the beautiful eternal dream I have fallen into ever since the very beginning, and one I do not wish to wake up from. This isn’t an excerpt from anything in the Captain’s book collection, nor is it something I’m saying casually. … I’m completely serious.
Daily Conversation 15: Whenever you’re here… I don’t feel like closing my eyes at all, how odd.
Increased Trust 1: If there’s nothing else at the moment, then can I go to the break room now?
Increased Trust 2: How utterly troublesome…
Increased Trust 3: I can sleep almost anywhere, and at anytime, to the point that… (snoozes)
Increased Trust 4: Do you want me to pass this on to the Captain, or is this for Kamui? It’s for me…?
Increased Trust 5: Whenever I spar with the Captain, I can’t help but get serious, and as a result I end up burning through my energy consumption and get extremely tired afterwards…
Increased Trust 6: I’m truly grateful.
Increased Trust 7: Exhaustion? There’s no such thing. Regardless of how troublesome the problem or the situation is, it’s all just a matter of how time-consuming it is.
Increased Trust 8: Cuddling with you to sleep every day…? … Just how much has Kamui told you, honestly…
Increased Trust 9: Compared to reaching for such lofty ambitions, it’s far more difficult to protect the things you really care about. That’s why, Gray Raven Commandant, you really are incredible.
Increased Trust 10: What you give to me belongs to me alone. That’s why, please don’t give others the same thing.
Increased Trust 11: You look like you’d be perfect to hold close and sleep with… Hm? What’s wrong Captain? [You can’t go and say things like that]? It’s not like I meant anything strange with what I just said… Huh? What did I mean by strange? Well…
Increased Trust 12: What I want? Hm… A new pillow, eye mask, an enhanced version of my resting cabin, and… you.
Increased Trust 13: A wish-granting device, a place to return to (refuge), resting cabins… hah, these are all these features I’d like to add for the sake of a certain someone.
Increased Trust 14: The gift you’re giving me isn’t you this time either?
Increased Trust 15: I've finally found a reason to keep waking up from my lonely dream.
Increased Trust 16: My return gift is right in front of you. Yeah, it’s this tall, and this big… you can’t miss it, right?
Idle/Ignored 1: Zzz…
Idle/Ignored 2: Too tired to even move… eh? The Commandant as well?
Idle/Ignored 3: Seems like the Commandant is also the type of person who needs to take breaks on occasion.
Idle/Ignored 4: Tired? There’s still space left in Strike Hawk’s resting cabins. I won the right to use it for an entire year.
Idle/Ignored 5: I’ve made a recent discovery. Being able to quietly watch over you is also another effective way of rest and recharging myself.
Long time spent online 1: It seems like the Gray Raven Commandant is the same type of person that Captain Chrome is.
Long time spent online 2: How odd, isn’t being able to rest and sleep the best thing in the world?
Long time spent online 3: It’s time to go to sleep now, good night.
Long time spent online 4: Would you please dream of me…? Since you’ve promised that now, then isn’t it your turn to fulfill my wish from earlier?
Long time spent online 5: Have a good night.
Login 1: If Captain Chrome comes here, can you please tell him you didn’t see me at all? Thanks.
Login 2: “It is precisely because you are yourself that [you] are important; you are important, no matter what, even until the end of time.” ...Heh, it’s nothing. It’s just something I’ve read from one of Captain Chrome’s books.
Login 3: (yawns) Good morning, good afternoon, good evening… one of them’s bound to be the right one, yeah?
Login 4: Since the first thing I saw when I woke up was you, it looks like today’s going to be a good day.
Login 5: Maybe it’s not a bad thing to feel energetic and full of life on occasion, is what I just realized. The reason being, because then I’d be able to do and enjoy a lot more fun things together with you.
Login 6: What a wonderful dream. Well, it’s not entirely wrong either way.
Login 7: I’m having a good dream right now.
Login 8: Whenever I wake up, I see you; and even when I’m in my dreams, I always see you.
Long time offline 1: To think that I’m able to only dream of you… how troubling.
Shake 1: Hey Commandant, have you ever heard of the word “wake up”... hmm?
Shake 2: Medicinal malpractice is strictly prohibited, you know.
Shake 3: Alright, alright, quit fooling around now.
Continuous tap 1: Are you doing a physical examination?
Continuous tap 2: Huhm… please don’t cause a scene here.
Continuous tap 3: Behave yourself now.
Activity MAX: Now that I’ve rested up enough, I feel completely recharged. A bit unusual, but I feel like moving around more now.
Battle begins: (yawns) Let’s get this done quickly so we can go home sooner.
Battle 1: It’s time to sleep, you guys.
Battle 2: How fortunate you are to be able to sleep forever.
Battle 3: I will shoot to kill.
Ultimate: Shooting to kill-- close your eyes, and rest in peace.
Hit: I don’t plan on sleeping early this time.
Serious injury: Going to bed early… though it seems like I woke up a bit too early.
Unable to fight: It’s okay, I’m just… gonna get a good night’s sleep.
Support: Backup, assistance, aiming a killshot.
QTE: Let’s quickly deal with this guy, since it’s an emergency and they like to disturb other people’s sleep.
Battle end: Haah, how exhausting.
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itscominghome · 2 years
Note
Hey bestie , I love what you write . Can you do one with mason , where they are dating and she gets negative comments and like she feels very bad but didn’t tell him . At the end he finds out and he takes her defens .💕💕
thank you for your request :) sorry it took so long x
Summary: Since you and Mason made your relationship public three months ago, you have received negative and abusive messages from fans. But when everything takes a drastic turn, Mason is there to protect you and takes to social media afterwards to shut down all the abuse and threats.
Warnings: Derogatory language
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I'll Always Protect You
"Mason deserves better"
"Slut"
"You're not even that pretty"
"What does Mount see in you"
"I wish he'd just hurry up and break up with you"
"Lets be honest, you wouldn't look twice at him if he wasn't who he was"
"You're just with him for the money"
"I know where you live"
"Break up with him, we know where you live"
These were just some of the many Instagram messages I would receive daily. Some were just calling me names or making me out to be a gold-digger and the sorts. But those on the worse end of the spectrum, those threatening me made me feel sick in the stomach. They had started just over three months ago after Mason and I had gone public with our relationship and they hadn't stopped, only gotten worse. I hadn't told Mason about any of them, I mean surely all of the threats were empty, just a series of words strung together to try and scare me. But part of me was scared that if Mason saw them, he'd start to believe them himself.
"What you looking at, baby," Mason asks from beside me on the bed, sounding concerned. I realised that there must've been a shift in my emotions and immediately plastered a smile onto my face.
"Nothing, Mase," I reply, my voice unsteady. I hate lying to him.
"Tell me you're not reading one of those stupid articles about us again," he says, looking at me, a look of sadness on his face. On top of the private messages I had been receiving, there were a few articles online from gossip sites and even big newspaper companies slating our relationship. Of course, Mason knew about those, there was no way to keep them quiet.
"I don't care what they say, I love you," he would affirm every time he saw one or caught me reading one.
Mason had stayed over at my house last night, not yet moved in with each other, but today wasn't one of the days we could have a lazy day. A day spent cuddling up to each other in bed, doing nothing but watch films, or catch up on the latest episode of 'Married at Frist Sight', which Mason would repeatedly remind me he hated (he loved it really). But, unfortunately, Mason did have training on my day off. I felt him press a kiss to the top of my head before the bed dipped beneath me as he started getting ready.
"I'll come and pick you up later and we can go out for a meal or something," he promised as he opened the door thirty minutes later, pecking my lips lightly.
"Sounds good," I smile, "I love you,"
"I love you too," he says before closing the door and making his way to his car.
Tap. Tap. I looked up from the TV to look around for the source of the tapping noise. I noticed it almost straight away and my heart skipped a beat. There was someone outside my window, tapping on the glass, wearing a black balaclava. I froze in my seat, my hands shaking. He continued tapping for a few more seconds before moving to another window and continuing. Then he moved to the door, jiggling the handle in an attempt to open it. At this point, I start to panic, even more, rushing around looking for my phone.
"Where is it..? Where the fuck did I leave it..?" I whisper to myself as I rush upstairs, extremely distressed. I find it on my bedside table in my room and immediately dial Mason. Ring ring. Ring ring. Ring ring.
"Come on, pick up, pick up, Mase." Ring ring. Ring r-.
"Baby, you can't be missing me that much already, I've only been gone for ten minutes," he jokes light-heartedly.
"Mase..." I say, unable to form a coherent sentence.
"Baby, what's wrong? What's happening? Talk to me," he says, concern evident in his voice.
"Someone's outside, they... they were at the window... tapping it. And... And then they... they started trying to open the door. I can hear them shouting through the letterbox and hitting the door. Mase, I don't know what to do," I say, tears streaking down my face.
"Shit... I'm turning around right now, I'll be back as quick as I can, lock yourself in the bathroom or something, just in case they get in. Stay on the phone," I nod, trying to steady my breathing. On my way to the bathroom across the hall, I can hear the abusive muffled shouts. I pray to God that Mason can't hear what is being said through the phone.
I hear Mason's car pull up in the driveway and his car door slam shut. I unlock the bathroom door and race downstairs where I can see him attempting to confront my perpetrator before he runs away. I open the door, tears of terror still staining my cheeks. Mason sees me and runs over, pulling me into a hug
"Hey, hey it's okay, they're gone, I'm here now. I've got you," he comforts, taking me back into the house and sitting me down to calm me down.
"I didn't think they were being serious..." I say under my breath.
"Baby, what are you on about?" I try my best to play it off as nothing, but Mason won't listen.
"It was just a few messages, it doesn't matter,"
"Show me them," I reluctantly pass him my unlocked phone and he scrolls through my message requests.
"Why didn't you tell me..." he says with a frown, clearly upset that I had not confided in him.
"I thought that if you saw them, you'd start to believe what everyone was saying,"
"Oh, baby..." he whispers, pulling me into his chest, "Nothing anyone says will ever change how I feel about you. Go and get yourself a bag packed and you can come to training with me,"
"It has recently come to light the amount of hate, abuse and downright threats have been hurled at my girlfriend, Y/N. And to tell you the truth, I'm disgusted. So, I've come to Instagram to address it.
I was unaware of how much abuse had been projected onto her until earlier today when I read some of the messages she has been receiving on both Instagram and Twitter. Most accounts claimed to be Chelsea fans, but as I'm sure all of my teammates would agree, to verbally abuse one of our partners, someone that I LOVE, does not qualify you as a Chelsea fan.
I had obviously seen all of the news articles, those I could look past, but the threats became very real today. I am sure that those of you who messaged threats like "We know where you live, break up with him," were all just empty words. But today, I had to drive back to Y/N's house after leaving for training after receiving a phone call from her, telling me that someone was tormenting her in her own home. If this happens again, it WILL become a matter that will need to be treated more seriously.
Finally, I would like to say that no online abuse of anyone should be tolerated. People in the public eye have feelings too, they are human too. It is never okay to attack someone for loving who they love. I know that this message will not stomp out all of the abuse, but I hope that the majority of you are mature enough to take what I have said into account and will consider what you say before you send it.
M19" I read aloud to myself when I see that Mason has posted. I feel a pair of arms snake their way around my waist, pulling me closer into his body. Mason.
"Thank you for protecting me today,"
"I'll always protect you,"
Sorry I'm taking ages to write requests, I have been so busy with coursework and homework as of late. That, and posting about 30 things about the match today. So, sorry for the spam, but I hope you enjoyed this request! <33
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thefanficmonster · 3 years
Text
Time And Time Again
Dream x Reader (Female)
Warnings: Swearing
Genre: FLUFF, Romance, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: Basically a rundown of some of the most recent cute moments brought to you by the most adorable will-they-won’t-they couple: Y/N and Dream.
Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your wonderful request, it really made my day when I received it! I hope I captured what you wanted and what you had in mind in the fic and I hope you enjoy the read! This is my first time writing for Dream so I hope I don’t mess it up hehe. Love, Vy ❤
“I don’t wanna go in the cave!“ Y/N squeals in terror when she realizes that in order to make progress in the game and continue moving onward with the story, she has to walk Blake through the dark, dingy and danger-ridden cave in Outlast 2. The gang’s all there with her on a Discord call to keep her company, knowing she’s a scaredy cat underneath that tough girl exterior. And being the scaredy cat she is while also having a preference for horror games has made Friday nights very interesting for her and her friends: her, Clay, George and Sapnap sit on a Discord server while she streams whatever horror game she had planned for the evening to her close to her thousands of viewers. 
“Don’t worry, Y/N! I’ll come with you, imma hold your hand the whole time.“ Clay volunteers wholeheartedly without a second to waste.
Much to his disappointment, however, Y/N’s reply to that is: “Not until you go wash off all that cheeto dust that’s all over your fingers.“
Clay gasps dramatically, “How DARE you? I offer you help and comfort and this is the thanks I get? I hope one of those heretics in teaches you a lesson!”
While the pair are now in a full-on ‘heated’ dispute on their manners and politeness, bringing back things they did wrong as far back as three years ago, George and Sapnap are just connecting the dots silently.
“Wait, Y/N...“ George is the one to finally speak up, “How’d you know he’s eating cheetos?”
Taking a momentary break from the bickering, Y/N reassumes her more sweet tone of voice as he addresses him, “He freaking raided my cabinets and has eaten all my snacks already! He’s only been here for two hours, damn it!”
“Don’t make it sound like I inhaled a mountain of snacks in two hours! You literally had only two bags of snacks - meant for one person, mind you!“ Clay argues back, neither him nor Y/N realizing that this accidental outing will send their fandoms in a fit.
Of course, people hang out at their friends’ all the time, nothing weird there. This wouldn’t have been such a big deal to anyone if Sapnap didn’t say:
“How come Clay has the privilege of coming over to place and George and I don’t?“
Oh boy...
                                                             *  *  *
“Hi everyone! I know you guys couldn’t care less for an intro so Imma get right into it...“ Y/N says, all seemingly in one breath, “You see this masked man next to me? This tree of a man right here? Yes? Good, well judging by that poorly made cardboard mask he’s wearing - curtsey of yours truly - you probably already know who he is. If not, meet Dream, aka Clay, aka the raincloud above my parade.“
That specific laugh echoes throughout the room as the said tree-of-a-man wraps an arm around the significantly smaller girl’s shoulders, pulling her closer till their sides collide, “She loves me, trust me, she does.”
“Only when you bring me food though.“ She corrects him, wiggling his shoulders to see if she could set herself free from his grip but relaxing in his embrace when she realizes she won’t be going anywhere unless he willingly lets her go.
Clay tilts his head to the side to look at her through the holes poked into the mask before lifting his free arm to reveal the plastic bag he’s been holding all this time. “Oh, well then I wonder what I’ve got over here...”
“Oh my God, Panda Express! You’re the best, Clay.“ She squeals, grabbing him by the collar of his hoodie and pulling him down while she simultaneously pushes up on her toes to place a kiss on his cheek which is a tiny bit exposed to her between the mask and the hood he’s got over his head.
Before the man could even recover, he finds himself empty handed, having lost the girl and having lost the bag of food to the girl.
That kiss was worth it though.
                                                             *  *  *
“Ok, so I’ve seen this ‘my girlfriend does my makeup’ challenge going around and since I’m single as all hell, I got my best friend Y/N here to do my makeup.“ Clay points to Y/N who’s holding a makeup bag in one hand and is giving him a very disappointed look, “Judging by the look on her face, she’s not at all impressed but I promise to make her a bit more excited to be here in editing.“
“Of course I’m unimpressed, this is the troll video of troll videos!“ She complains, throwing her arms up, “Sure I’ll do your makeup and get a kick out of it myself but none of them will see it!“ She points to the camera, “None of them will know what amazing makeup artist skills I’ve got.“
This leaves Clay speechless for a moment, uncertain of how to reply to her statement before just deciding to say: “Well, at least you’ll be getting a kick out of it, that’s all that matters to me.”
“Aww...“ Y/N bats her eyelashes at the camera as her bottom lip forms an emotional pout, “Please don’t be so sweet to me after I just verbally kicked your ass. You always do that and make me feel like the meanest person in the world.“
“Aww Y/N, I’m so sorry.“ He says, sounding genuinely apologetic as he wraps his arms around the girl that’s tiny in comparison to him, bringing her closer to him with his tight hug.
“YOU’RE DOING IT AGAIN!“
                                                             *  *  *
“Hey Clay, I bought lunch on the way so I hope you’re-” Walking into her friend’s recording room abruptly, Y/N finds herself face to face with his webcam, the light next to which is glowing, suggesting the device is on and she’s currently on the screens of the thousands of people watching Dream’s stream. His mask is on - the one she made for him - of course, but she can still feel the aura of him smiling, relieving her of the worry that he’ll be irritated by her walking in like that - unannounced and without knocking. To be fair, they never announced to one another when they’d be stopping by and by this point in their friendship they have also stopped knocking too. “You’re streaming, huh?”
“Yup!“ The word is said in such a teasing manner she almost allows herself to blush, “What you got there tho?“
“Chipotle.“ She answers shortly, “And I’m starving so can we please turn your stream into a Mukbang?“ She furrows her brows as she inspects what’s on his computer screen, looking at a comment section instead of the usual screen of a game she’s used to seeing. “What are you doing, anyway?“
Looking back at his screen for a brief moment before turning back to her, Clay replies, “Oh, just reading mean comments, as one does to boost their self-esteem.”
The flash of anger he sees on Y/N’s face is most certainly not what he was inspecting to see. Mockery, yes. Humor, yes. Faux sympathy followed by some mean comments of her own, definitely. But he anger he did not see coming at all.
“Who’s talking shit about you? I’ll end them!“ Putting the plastic bag of delicious food aside, forgetting all about it in the process, Y/N grabs a chair and drags it over next to Clay’s so she too can look at his screen.
And that boy has never felt so much adoration for his best friend. Their fans - and especially their shippers - would’ve lost it if they had been able to see the look he was giving her.
                                                             *  *  *
(back to the ‘girlfriend/best friend does my makeup vid’)
“Ok, so what kind of look do you want me to give you?“ Y/N asks as she sits down on the stool in front of Clay, her makeup products placed on the dining table which is to her right.
“You ask me as though I know what I want.“ Clay laughs, the sticker of his mask floating above his face, following his movements as to keep his features hidden, “Just do the look you do on yourself everyday. It looks really cute on you, who knows, I might be able to pull it off too.“
“Sure thing.“ She smiles at her friend’s compliment, “Just stand still, ok?“
“Yes, ma’am.“
                                                            *  *  *
“Y/N, no! Stop!“ Clay warns her via the Discord call while the two are streaming Minecraft together alone for once, “Not another word!“
“But I really do feel bad!“ Y/N whines in response, “Why don’t you allow me to apologize?“
“Because there’s nothing to apologize for!“ He says, clearly done with the conversation, “I willingly gave you my jacket, you didn’t ask for it.“
“And now you’ve got a cold because of it!“ She continues arguing her case, “The least I can do is come over to take care of you.“
“I don’t need a pity nurse, thank you very much.“ Clay bites back, “But your company would be nice. Though I don’t want you to catch whatever cold I have.“
“I’d catch any cold for you, Clay.“ She replies teasingly - with a ton of honesty underneath that teasing.
Honesty both her and Clay are aware of. As well as the mob of people watching their streams right now.
                                                             ~  ~  ~ And so the snowball effect continues with little moments sprinkled throughout their online presences that make the snowball of shipping get bigger and bigger. Every now and then, both Y/N and Clay let little bits of their true adoration and admiration for the other slip through. And time and time again do those moments send their fans in a frenzy. 
Rightfully so.
@kia-isabelle
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Text
Nervous Wreck-Louis Partridge
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Summary: Dating famous actor Louis Partridge and being scared about the fans disliking you. You almost break up over the drama but Louis convinces you to stay. 
Requested: Yes
Warning: None
Words-1109
A/N- Thank you so much for requesting @arianagrandes-things​. I hope you like your imagine. 
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Your POV
I was spending my time in my apartment when I got really bored all of a sudden. I wanted to call Louis but I knew he was on set filming for the role he got in Enola Holmes. I then just decided to go on Instagram and found I had lots of comments on my recent picture I posted of  Louis and I since I was missing him a lot today. I looked at all the comments and a lot of them were hate comments. I read them and started tearing up because a lot of people were saying how Louis should break up with me because I am not good enough for him. I wanted to throw my phone, but I kept getting more deeper into the comments where I couldn’t stop looking at them. It wasn’t until Louis waved his hand while saying my name that got me to snap out of my daydream. 
“ Hey darling, you okay. What’s wrong? Why are you in tears?” He asked me 
I looked at him and broke down in tears again. I looked down, but felt the couch sink in and arms pull me into his chest. It took me a while to calm down, but I eventually got my breathing back to normal. I felt him lift my chin and made me look at him in the eyes. Before he said anything he kissed me on the lips gently so I wouldn’t break down again. Once he pulled away he asked me the same question.
“ What’s got you so down my darling angel?” 
I took a shaking breath and told him about all the comments on my post. He asked if he could look at them and I nodded while giving him my phone. I laid on him while he was looking. After about 20 mins I felt his eyes on me again, so I lifted my head and waited for him to say something.
“ Don’t listen to them.” 
“ But...” I started
“ But nothing, they're just jealous of you dear. Please don’t let them get to you.” 
I nodded my head and lied back down to give him a hug that I know I needed after the conversation. 
‘Next Day’
I woke up and moved around but fell to the floor with a huge bang. I heard someone start laughing. I looked up and saw Louis staring right at me from the couch. 
“ Haha, very funny.” I mocked 
“ Yea it was. That was so funny. Also thanks for the wake up call.” 
I got up off the floor by myself and headed to change into a different set of clothes to wear. Once I was down I looked around the apartment for my phone, but I couldn’t find it anywhere. 
“ LOUIS!” I shouted 
“ WHAT!” he yelled back
I made my way over to him and asked...
“ Have you seen my phone anywhere?” 
He shrugged his shoulders. I groaned at his response. 
“ Can you call it.” I asked 
He proceeded to call it and I heard the ringing, but I could pinpoint where it was coming from. I then looked right at Louis and heard it coming from underneath him. I looked at him with wide eyes. 
“ Give me it back you idiot.” I said
“ No, can do pumpkin.” He said 
I rolled my eyes and said “ Louis please I need to look at something.” 
“ I know what you're going to look at.” 
I huffed in protest and crossed my arms over my chest and pouted. 
“ You can pout all you want but I am not giving it back so you can cry over mean comments from haters that are just jealous you are.” 
“ But...what if they are saying is true. What if they find a way to make us hate each other and we break up. What if...” 
“ Slow down darling. Nobody will break us up and if they try we will know it’s not true because we have trust and faith for each other.” 
“ But the drama’s already bad, maybe we should break up Louis.” 
He looked at me with sad eyes. “ What?” 
“ I am just saying. What if we take a small break so the fans can be happy.” 
“ Baby, please don’t just dump our 2 years relationship down the drain. We love each other no matter what. Who cares about the drama that’s going on. I don’t want anybody else but you Y/n. You're my number one girl, number one fan. I can’t do this without my partner and crime by my side.” 
I didn’t know what to say after he just confessed why we should stay together. I was a crying mess. Louis was on the verge of crying so I decided to sit in his lap and cuddle him so we both can get the same amount of attention. I kissed the top of his head when I felt him shaking due to the crying he was doing. We spent hours sitting on the couch together. 
“ Baby, I promise to protect you from all the mean people in the world even if I can’t physically hurt them I can pass it though online.” 
I smiled at his thoughts, I then led in and kissed his soft perfect lips and held them there for a while. I felt him smile and pull closer to him by my waist. Louis pulled away first and rested his forehead on mine and said...
“ You are the only girl that I would love and want to keep forever. Don’t let the fans get to you and if they do come find me or just call me. I am always here for you even if I am busy. I am a phone call away dear. I love you with all my heart.” 
When he was done I was again in tears. Louis looked at me and looked worried, 
“ Y/n/n I didn't mean to make you cry, I wanted you to be happy.” 
I smiled and said, “ I am happy.” 
“ Then why are you crying all of a sudden.” He asked concerned
“ These are happy tears.” I stated
He nodded his head and cuddled me and put a movie on so we can spend some quality time with each other. Well he wanted to just hold me and make me feel better from all the social media drama.
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tomurasprincess · 3 years
Note
I'm feeling down right now because of my online classes. Is it alright to request for Yan!Shouto or Yan!Hawks comforting their darling who is afraid of failing her classes? They use this opportunity to convince her to just give up school and promises that they will provide for her, she just needs to stay with them forever. Thank you so much! 😭
Pairing: Hawks x F!Reader Warnings: Manipulation, gaslighting, yandere Note: I’m won’t do general comfort requests, but this one with a yandere flair was too perfect to pass up. Why can’t I have a sexy bird man promising to take care of me forever? Totally unfair.
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You give a exasperated sigh as you slam your book shut before throwing it away from you onto the floor. You’ve been studying this math for hours and yet you’re nowhere close to understanding it, and you have a final just the next week that you have no chance of passing.
Just as tears are running down your face from frustration, your boyfriend Keigo walks in. His face suddenly turns to pure concern as he races towards you, pulling you up from the desk and embracing you.
You grip his shirt as your shoulders shake with crying, and he simply holds you, tracing small circles on your back as he waits for you to compose yourself.
You pull away and look into his eyes, and seeing only concern and love there, you begin to tell him what’s wrong.
“I feel so stupid, Keigo. I’m failing this class and no matter what I do, I just can’t seem to understand it.”
“You’re not stupid, dove. You’re one of the smartest people I know,” he reassures you, running a finger down your face. “Sit down with me and we’ll talk about it.”
After you’re situated on the couch, all of your fears and insecurities come pouring out. “I don’t think I’m cut out for school, Keigo. I sit in class and I just don’t understand any of the material.”
Your boyfriend pauses for a second, considering the right thing to say. “Well, I think it’s the opposite.”
“What do you mean,” you ask as your face twists into a look of confusion.
“I think you’re too smart for school and that’s why none of it catches your interest.”
“I - you really think that?”
“Of course I do. Think of all of things you know and are good at outside of school. This,” he picks the math book from the floor and waves it at you, “is pointless in the real world.”
“Maybe you’re right,” you say as you contemplate his words.
“You know I’m right. Maybe you should -“
He pauses again before waving his hand, as if waving the words themselves away. “Never mind, I don’t want to be pushy.”
“No, please tell me, Keigo!” Your words are insistent, wanting to know what he meant.
“Well, since you asked - maybe you should just drop out.”
You almost can’t believe he said that, and you question him about it. “But how would I get a job and support myself?”
“Dove, you don’t need to support yourself. You have me, and I’ll always take care of you.”
You know he’s right. Keigo has always taken care of you, always been there. “But you’d be okay with that?”
Keigo smiles as he settles you into his arms. “I promise I’d be okay with it. I want nothing more, actually.”
You ponder what he’s suggesting. Being dependent on him is not something you ever considered, but you know Keigo only has your best interests at heart.
“Well, if you’re fine with it - “
“I promise I am. So you’ll do it? Drop out?” His voice sounds eager, and you chalk it up to him simply wanting you to not be so stressed anymore.
“Yeah, I’ll do it. I’ll call tomorrow and start the process. I might lose money for this semester, but I can deal with it.”
“Well I can’t.” His voice is firm and brooks no argument. “Let me handle it for you. I promise they won’t give me any fuss over it.”
You give a quick nod, the thought of dealing with the school seeming exhausting to you. “Okay then. I love you, Keigo. Thank you for taking care of me.”
“You’re welcome, dove. I love you too, and I will always take care of you.”
He grins, a hint of darkness in it that you don’t notice as he wraps you up in a tight hug.
“Now and forever.”
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anonbeadraws · 4 years
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So I caved and with @spacespectres help made an avatarsona! With a big chunky statement to go with it!    (Trigger warnings for homophobia/transphobia, conversion therapy, death and parental abuse. Everyone gets just desserts though.)
‘I’m, actually not sure why I’m here. You can’t help me, my son is gone and the police arn't saying it but - I’m sorry, my ears are- It’s like- You know those alarms, the ones that are made to disperse kids at shopping centres, keep them from causing trouble- not that i think they work. you see more of them these days, scruffy and dirty, what their parents doing, i don’t-  Anyway, it’s like that noise, that high buzz. it’s meant to be that, as you get older, your brain tunes it out, adults aren’t meant to hear it anymore, just keep on shopping without hoodlums hanging about outside smoking and throwing shit at the elderly.   I don’t miss that, Ben’s smoking, i’ll say that. That’s awful to say, i bet you’re thinking, god how terrible, her child’s missing and she’s moaning about a few nicotine stains on the ceiling.
I know theres plenty that would call me a terrible mother anyway, i know the neighbours didn’t agree with my decision, the decision of a single mother, who struggled enough just to keep her child fed and watered and out of trouble, to then struggle to keep him from wearing my lipstick when i was out of the house-!   I have no problem with the gays. I want to say that, have that clear. I just know, what he was doing, that wasn’t my Ben, that wasn’t my son and, the Helping House was what he needed.   I’m his mum, i know what he needed, don’t care what his dad says. he wasn’t here, he wasn’t here to raise Ben, so he doesn’t-
The pamphlet was so nice, so professional and i checked it out online, all 5 stars, apart from the odd protester sticking his oar in, and it was- reassuring to know he’d be looked after, helped! Get what he needed. And he was fine when i left him there, with his old school backpack with all his bits in, the Helping staff there to welcome him. Reminded me a little of when he started primary school, he looked so small, all big eyes…  They promised it’d be a couple of weeks, maybe a month, and then he could come home, all better.
  I got to visit every weekend, which was nice! Sometimes brought him biscuits, can't beat home made, chatted a little. He still had that, that look from when i left, like he was little again, when i could tell he didn’t really want to leave me at the gates, he didn’t want to go in all alone, couldn’t we just go home instead mum?  But i was strong. For him. I resisted.
I think, it was when that look started to go, that little boy look, replaced with something, i don’t really want to think about even now, that i really noticed the other patients. One in particular. He looked different from the others. Props to the Helping House, they keep, kept the kids tidy. it was actually lovely, real treat to see Ben all combed and neat, not smelling like his trash dump of a room. And not a whiff of smoke! i’d honestly not have been surprised if he’d snuck in some ciggies in but if he had, they must have confiscated em quick.    No fags in the Helping House! I mean-! oh you know, what i mean!
But this one,.. they all dressed in clothes from home, apparently they worked out its better for the process, this one was a mess. Half shaved hair, no knees in the jeans and honestly, sunglasses indoors? who did He think he was!? Mick Jagger?  He just slouched in the corner of the visiting room, looking out into the gardens, like he belonged there in that clean good place.  They were nice gardens, well looked after, like the kids. I remember it was coming up summer, lots of lovely flowers. lots of happy bees.
Anyway, i did Not like how Ben looked over at, him, while we had our cups of tea. it was this, gooey soft look i’d never seen on him. later i remembered it. it was how his dad looked when we started courting. That cloying honey sweet love that turned sickly and choking far too quick. God, that look, on my boys face? You bet I had words with the staff before i went. I did not bring my boy here to get help and it be ruined by some hooligan with warped intentions. I made sure they understood. They didn't seem to know what i meant by the Sunglasses kid but it’s a big facility, probably get a lot of patients. Their success rate was incredible really, always seemed to be spaces open. Whatever they did, didn’t do a lot though. Cause i kept seeing him, every time i visited. And he drew a crowd.       At first it was the ones who didn’t have family to come, poor dears. They’d be sat, close as they could to him. They had rules about touching in the Helping House, and rightly so, helps with, the temptation, but they’d sit there, close as they could to him, just listening, sun on their faces from the big glass window.  Now that i’m thinking about it, I don’t think i remember ‘em blinking?    Anyway, Could never hear what was said, what venom that creeper was pouring into their ears, whenever i tried to hear him over the other visitors, it just came over as a low buzz. Well, whatever it was, those kids were hooked.  I didn't like it. And the next weekend, there more of ‘em! You’d have kids that’d be crying one week that their family hadn't come, who didn't give two shits the next, pardon my french. They’d be sat in the corner, happy sappy faces, listening to whatever nonsense that kid was murmuring to his little flock. They didn’t touch, not then, but it was a close thing, i remember being so shocked that nothing was being done about it. It was obviously a problem. that weirdo was the problem.
But my boy didn’t stray. He might’ve looked over at that hive of idiots who worked against what these good people were trying to do for them, with that… look. But he stayed and drank his tea with me like he should. He looked tired, but i knew that’s cause he was working hard, getting better.  i got the reports.
But the last couple of visits, i come in and it’s just my boy in the visitors room.   The rest were outside in the garden, in the flowers. All those kids, twenty or so of em, tangled in each other, touching and so close. I don’t think they were, Doing things but, it was against regulation for sure,  and I stood up, to go do something, anything, even just yell at them to stop it, ask what they thought they were doing!? That’s when the Buzzing started. For a second i thought it was just a bee come in from the garden, poor little bumble trapped indoors but it was in my ears, in my head. It was nothing i’d ever felt before and I’ve had Tinitus and that’s a nasty bugger but it was more than that.
Been to the doctors since. Apparently they can’t work it out, whats causing it. All they can say was it wasn’t Tinitus.
I think it was, Sunglasses looking at me. I remember when i got up, to tell ‘em off, i remember light in the corner of my eye, like a reflection off glass. I think he turned, he knew i was going to stop em and he-
Last sunday was the last time, the last visit. Had a big tin of biscuits, gingerbread, Ben’s favourite, had some nice news about his cousin getting into uni, first in the family! Always had hopes Ben would be the second, but-  Ben wasn’t waiting for me. He was outside. With Them.
Him.
There he was, holding the hand of that freak and the staff were just stood round like numpty’s doing nothing! Dumb faces and vacant as their patients were outside rolling about in the sun like it was the 60’s! And smoking! I thought, they must’ve found a stash cause i could see the smoke, swirling dark against the sky, dark against their smiling, stupid faces.
I was furious. i was, so angry.
I think thats why i did it. I was so angry that i couldn’t think of anything else to do but grab that sunglasses wearing freak who was corrupting my boy, who was holding his hand and steering him wrong and undoing all my work and love, and shake my anger out of him. I was yelling all that, yelling at him. I remember he was light, not as heavy as he should be, not for a kid his age and that he didn’t flinch. And he spoke to me, in that low drone that I thought had been just distance and space distorting his voice, but was just him, god it was just him.
I cant remember exactly what he said, something about love, real love, some hippy nonsense. No, i remember one thing. The little shit asked if i thought i was ‘my child’s real Family.” ‘Of course, i said, ‘i’m his mother’ Then he smiled, like i was wrong and i hated him. And I could see myself, in that dark reflection, in those stupid shades and i couldn’t stand it.   I wish i hadn’t, done what i did. i just didn’t want to see myself in that black mirror anymore, all twisted and hateful.   Turns out it was far nicer than what was behind them.
I let go, dropped it, that thing in ripped jeans and stripes and it fell into the flowers. There were so many happy bees. Thats when i heard the other kids. They had it’s voice, shared it’s voice, that drone. That buzz. i didn’t dare look at them. My ears, started up again, like before but, that sound, their sound, it made it louder and i honestly thought my head might explode and I turn to Ben, my boy, who had dropped to his knees in front of that thing, holding it’s hand and for a second, I thought he was smoking again, dark wisps coming from his downturned face and, I just, my fear turned to anger, for just a second, that he would do that here and now.
But I begged him to come away, to leave it alone, to get better, to just be my little boy again, to come home with mummy. Then he looked up, my Ben, and his face-   it wasn’t smoke, it had never been smoke. it was the same as whatever had been bumbling around in the creature that still lay in the flowers but Ben smiled all the same. I, feel crazy, crazy saying it but- as the bees poured out of my little boy’s smiling mouth in that choking swarm, their buzzing droning out his words, my boys last-
My name is Sarah
i’d never seen him happier.
Apparently I fainted. Never fainted in my life, i’ll tell you, too tough for that sort of thing, but i must’ve. Police think it’s what saved me. I like to think otherwise.   Officially, what happened was that the patients turned on the staff, killed em and left. Simple, explainable. Some sicko’s like to use what happened as an argument against conversion therapy, old hippy dykes that don’t have enough to picket over, idiots.  They didn’t see the bodies, they didn’t see what those ‘helpless victims’ did- They dragged them outside after they killed em, into the sun, into the flowers. I remember waking up once, amongst all the dead. Happy bees, dipping their beaks into the blood of the doctors. Plenty of sugar in blood, I read.
Ben was all i had left, my only family. I don’t have no one left. You don’t get many visitor when the papers insist you made your kid a killer. Don’t even get phone calls from Dave anymore, but i call that blessing. He was barely Ben’s dad anyway. I’ve gotten used to the quiet. i go to work, i come home, watch a bit of telly. the buzz from the old tv only scares me a little. I know i did my best for him. i believe that, after everything. I wouldn’t be here though, if, there wasn’t, something else.
 I had a visitor the yesterday. Wasn’t expecting it, thought it was a missionary, Jehovah’s or something. Was ready to tell them to piss off, i tell you. It was a girl. Said she was my daughter. she looked like my Ben, same smile, same funny little knees he used to scrape up, ones i used to kiss better. It wasn’t Ben. My Ben had eyes. My daughters words buzzed, like there was something in her throat. Perhaps the same things that crawled where her eyes would be, round and yellow and bumbling, i thought, and my head starting hurting again. She only stayed at the door, didn’t come in. She said she just wanted to say hello.
She said she’ll visit again.
That she’ll bring her family.
i don’t think she means me anymore.’ The magnus archives belongs to Rusty Quill, the above belongs to me!
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physicalturian · 3 years
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[18+] Words of pleasure - Law x F!Reader - Part 10 (Last)
[No spoilers] [Modern AU - College AU] [She/her pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18] Words : 8634 Archive of our own
Warning : Power play / Dom/sub Dynamics / Control / Oral / Discipline / Voyeurism / Brat / Shibari / Impact play / Tears (from dick uh) / Protected sex / Aftercare / Edging / Pet names The voyeurism part is only for part of it. For those who do not know what 'voyeurism' is, it means someone is watching - It's done with everyone's consent.; The tears are purely deep dick in throat; Don’t forget there are oral protections for when you give head to someone, or receive it tbh, to avoid STD’s.
If you feel like I should add more warnings, send me a dm or and ask
– Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9
There stood Rosinante. And clearly, Law was not expecting him to come by. I hurriedly covered myself, but it was too late, and the blond man seemed to have enjoyed the sight as he looked at my hands gripping the lapel tight before looking at me with a grin. “I see you’ve got company Traffy,”
“I’m guessing the date went well-“ “I asked you a question Cora, what do you want?” I felt the tension between the two men, clearly Law was annoyed by the interruption which was not the most welcomed right now. I was about to sneak out of sight when I saw the delivery girl in the back, she looked at the device in her hand, confused. I nudged Law’s side to get his attention and he told Rosinante to get out of the way so he could get the takeout.
 When he did, I walked past him and exchanged the money Law had handed me, for the bag of food in her hand. I saw her glimpse at my chest and quickly bid her goodbye before shuffling back inside and putting everything back on the table. When I joined the black-haired man’s side, he told me to go on and start eating without him, he had to talk with the blond. I half-heartedly accepted and went back to the dining room where I unpacked everything. While I did so, I paid attention to what was being said in the corridor.
 “-It wouldn’t be the first time, I don’t see why you don’t want to Law,” I heard the blond almost whine.
“Did you really think that coming all the way here would make me accept the offer? This is different than the other times,” Law replied, his tone stern and still laced with annoyance. I made sure to not seem like I was listening as I started eating.
“I’m just saying, if that’s what she’s into, I’m the man for the job-“ “I didn’t ask, and we’re taking things slow,” Law’s answer made Rosinante laugh, it quickly turned into a gasp as I heard a thud before their conversation resumed.
 “That’s not what the rope around her breasts says,” I turned around to look at them in shock, and quickly turned back to face my food when both of them looked my way. Fuck, be discrete, you haven’t heard anything.
 Law sighed and I heard the door lock, it was followed by shoes hitting the parquet. “I’m not taking a decision without her, first we eat, then we talk,”
“It’s alright I’ve already eaten,” I heard Rosinante’s deep voice getting closer, and Law’s reply even more, “I didn’t ask, there is none for you, sit down and don’t talk,”
 From the interactions between the two, I felt like there was bad blood between the two of them which clashed with the man now sitting right next to Law in front of me. Law was sitting at the end of the table, Rosinante on his right and me on his left. I wrapped the bathrobe tighter around me, throwing a glance at Law and fidgeted on my seat. Was it his way of playing with my appreciation of ‘giving a show’ as he put it? “Don’t mind him, eat,”
 “It’s kind of hard not to, he’s staring right at me and he’s pretty big,” Facing the blond, I quirked a brow, going back to be in control. “Why are you here? Do you need something? We were a bit busy until you arrived, and while I respect that you’re his colleague, I think he’s not on shift right now.” I stated with as much professionalism as I could. I was not going to speak in Law’s stead, but I was frustrated by the interruption, if it had just been the delivery girl, we could have gone back to our little game once the door was closed. But here, I felt myself run cold… And burning at the same time, I was very aware of the restrictions around my form, after all, how could I not?
 I felt Law’s hand on my thigh after my question and had to muster all my strength not to move in startlement. I hope the blond hadn’t seen my reaction, after all I knew he had caught a glimpse of the rope work under my robe, but he did not show any sign of awkwardness. “It’s not work related, don’t you worry, actually it’s more of a leisurely visit,” The blond rolled up his sleeves and leaned back on his chair, almost tumbling back before grabbing the edge of the table and catching himself. Ignoring his almost-accident, I kept eating and did not ask any more question. I exchanged a few glances with Law when his hand traveled higher on my thigh.
 I didn’t know what games he was playing, and I didn’t know why he was being so daring when his colleague was there… but I liked it. To make him understand I was on board, I spread my legs wider and as I made it so it looked like I was seating back properly, I moved his hand even higher.
 I heard a huff coming from him as he continued eating. While his eyes were on his plate, his nails dug themselves inside my skin ever so lightly before going up and down my thigh. My attention being solely on his touch under the table, I almost forgot the man right in front of us who was silent up until now, “You know, Law, I understand you telling me to wait until you’re done eating and all that, but you can’t say that and then start the fun right under my nose,”
 Confused, and thinking he knew, I grabbed Law’s hand from going any higher, but he deftly moved my hand from his and held my thigh tightly. He was rubbing my inner thigh, letting his hand graze my crotch many times without even reacting. I had to put everything down when I was getting too excited to finish my plate, thinking I’d finish the rest after the eventful night I was promised those past few nights by HandSurgeon. “Then ask her, see how it goes,” Law almost spat, giving Rosinante a glare that I wouldn’t have wanted to be the receiving end of.
 ‘Cora’ however was unbothered, his grin only widening as he leaned further on the table. I felt a foot bump against mine under the able but did not say anything. “See, with Law here, we sometimes have interesting nights-“ “It was two times, Cora,”
“Actually, it was three, don’t you remember the one a few months ago who really wanted-“ Law interrupted him by standing up and taking our two plates from the table, leaving me exposed as I quickly covered my thigh with the robe.
 Looking at me with a smug smile, the blond whispered, “It’s actually three times like this, but we sometimes do other things- not like we fuck, but-“ Surprised by his words, I did not let it show on my face and made a gesture with my hand to tell him to go on, “Just, stop beating around the bush, I really don’t care what he, or you, used to do,” I shrugged, still curious about what they used to do. I was not going to be nosy and ask but part of me hoped he wouldn’t keep doing whatever they used to do when we’ll really be together… Unless we’ve talked about it.
 “Right, I feel like you kinda like showing off, am I wrong?” I couldn’t blame him for going straight to the point as I asked, but his question caught me off guard and I threw a glance at Law who was coming back from the kitchen with a neutral expression on his face.
 Looking at Law, embarrassed, I said, “Did you tell him about-“ “I didn’t tell him anything, I’d live better if he did not meddle with my shit, believe me,” Law replied before I could finish my sentence. I looked back at the blond and shrugged, “I don’t really know why it’s relevant,” I started, my face heating up. What was one supposed to do in this situation? I was not about to tell that stranger what turned me on, even though he seemed to have pinpointed the right thing. Denying sounded like a nice option though.
 “You’re not making it easier on me,” The blond glanced at Law, asking him to help out without words. He had seemed cocky enough to preach what he did many times with Law but was starting to get cold feet. Law quirked a brow and asked me to get up, which I did with him, my eyes still riveted on Rosinante. I was then brought to the bedroom, feeling Rosinante’s intense gaze following us. Once we were inside the room, Law left the door open and approached me.
 “The offer is simple, do you want to hear it?” He pulled me closer, sliding his hands inside the bathrobe to rest them on my hips, his thumbs brushing over the skin oh so delicately. “Go ahead, I’m really curious of what you might offer that won’t be ruined by your great colleague-“ “The attitude stays outside the bedroom, let’s start again. Do you want to hear the offer?” He breathed right next to my ear more sternly, his grip on my hips was tighter.
 I held his forearm and held back a huff, mumbled, “Yes sir” I don’t believe I had said it in front of him, ever, since we learnt about one another. And it felt ten times worse than saying it to a stranger online, this time I could see the smirk on his face when he looked at me with a certain pride, my body was burning up from simply folding, submitting, over nothing. And I was enjoying it.
 “He likes to watch, you like to be looked at, you like being the center of attention,” he explained slowly. His hands were now gripping the lapel of the bathrobe, I held his hands to stop them from removing the item just yet. “I don’t know… it seemed like you didn’t want to do any of this, earlier. You seemed angry at him, maybe we shouldn’t have him here,” I said softly, earning an earnest smile from the man in front of me as he cradled my face in his hands.
 “Because he is wasting my time while I could be having you on your knees, your mouth eager to do your best to please me…” My eyes widened, his action was tender, but his words were salacious, and yet it mixed so well together. “Or maybe tonight could be all about you, I believe I promised I’d tie you up to the bedpost, or maybe we could work on more discipline, I remember you enjoyed it greatly,” He paused and gauged my reactions. I was breathing more heavily than moments ago, recalling his promises.
 The more he talked, the more I felt this need to prove I could take whatever he gave me. I wanted him to praise me like he did so many times before, I wanted him to be able to flaunt me, and what better way to do so than to give him a show, to him and his friend. “He doesn’t join, he just watches, right?” I asked in a low tone, my eyes darting at the blond who was watching us from the dining table. He had his elbow resting on the table, his head leaning on his fist while smiling lazily. “That’s the plan, it’s purely sexual,” Law forced me to look at him, his fingers on my chin, “Just because he’s there doesn’t mean I won’t be taking care of you, it’s sexual for him, but it’s something different for us, understood?”
 “I just ignore him, then?”
“No, no, you better be fully aware of him, know you’re being watched…” He slowly helped me shrug off the bathrobe, placing himself in front of me to block the sight to Rosinante. “And I’d expect my girl to give us a show I know she’s capable of, so do you agree?” This was exciting, I never expected to be part of something like this. And with or without the blond man in the other room, I would have still felt over the moon knowing what Law was about to do to me. “Yes, do we still use the colours? In case I want to stop, for any specific reason- not that I think I will use it, I trust you-“
 “Colours, yes. But remember that even if you trust me, you can stop everything. The moment it’s too much, not that I aim for it to be, you tell me. Are we clear?” There was real worry in his eyes, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes playfully but nodded. Wanting to get started, I looked at him with a widening smile and let my hand wander to the knot of his sweatpants.
“I do remember our conversations you know, no need to repeat yourself,” I started, “And you haven’t fucked my brains out enough for me to forget it, just yet. Maybe it was an empty promise,” I was stopped dead in my tracks by his hand gripping mine.
 “Then you remember I said to be patient, and to leave the attitude out of the bedroom,” He said in faux-politeness as he pulled me closer, his hand let go of mine to pull at the leash-like rope around my neck. I huffed a chuckle and looked at him, satisfied.
“The door’s open, it came back rushing in,” I breathed out, talking about the attitude I supposedly left outside the room.
 Law watched me a moment before humming, a dark smile on his lips, “You want to play it like that, let’s,” he stepped away from me and I felt a shiver run down my spine, I wanted to get things heated because it had started quieting down, but now I had a price to pay. I had barely done anything, but Law jumped on the occasion to take the attitude down a notch. He grinned mischievously and told me to follow him as he sat at the edge of the bed and told me to kneel in front of him.
 “Are you serious-“ “Color?”
I huffed, “Green.”
“Then I’m deadly serious, on your knees.” His tone was stern, but his face showed something else. His half-lidded eyes watched me make way towards him and stop right in front of him. I threw a quick glance at the blond through the doorway and saw him with the seat fully facing the room and his hands on his lap for now. He gestured for me to go on. My eyes widened at that, does he expect me to listen to him? I looked back at Law and instead of kneeling in front of him, I placed my hands on his shoulders and moved one of my leg over his to straddle him.
 He gripped the back of my legs tight to get me off of him, “Are you acting out on purpose, to give Cora a show? Is this what’s going on?” He asked, while standing up, power dripping off his voice. I wanted to tell him no, but I think I did. It felt weird to submit in front of someone other than Law, and I wanted to put it off as long as I could. I looked to the side once more, this time Law gripped my chin forcefully to make me look at him, “Is my girl getting shy?” He asked as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his lips grazing my lobe. “I’ll say it only once: when I ask you a question, you answer, go,” He slid his hand to the back of my neck and made me look at him.
 “I’m not shy, I’m just not used to this- and you surprised me with asking me to get on my knees,” I whispered back, noticing the grin that spread on his face.
“Don’t play the innocent act, I recall you were very eager to suck your toy off when it was just you and me, correct?” He breathed against my neck as his fingers slipped over the rope to grab my ass and bring my leg over his, still standing up. His other hand grazed over my ass, then I felt his fingers brush between my legs and gasped. I gripped his hand before trying to have his fingers touch my clit, but it had the opposite effect.
 Grunting, he slapped my hand off his and held me in place, “Look at you, grinding against my fingers already. Don’t tell me you’re that desperate yet?”
“I’m not, you’re talking more than you’re doing, right now,” I regretted it instantly when a scowl formed on his forehead, quickly turning into an expression that said he accepted the challenge.
 “That needy look of yours says something else. Here, I’ll help you out, but first,” He stepped away from me and sat on the bed, his legs open wide, “First we’ll put you back in your place. I have the perfect gag for that pretty mouth of yours,”
 I was about to kneel when I noticed he was still fully dressed, when I reached for his shirt, he gripped my wrists tight. “That’s one too many, if you’re in a bratty mood then all I’ll have to do is discipline you, don’t you agree?” I agree, whispering a ‘yes sir’ which made him laugh as he told me to get on my knees, hands behind my back. He then stood up and went to the drawer behind me. I did as he told me, knowing I had crossed the limit but couldn’t help but feel excited.
 “We’re going to test that patience of yours, look at me,” When I did, a smirk pulled the corner of his lips. I followed his form until he was sitting in front of me, I could see the bulge in his pants that at this point demanded to be freed, when I glanced at it, Law’s smirk only widened. “Let me tell you how good you look on your knees like that,” He praised as he leaned back only slightly on one of his hand as the other held what I believe was a riding crop. The latter placed itself under my chin to raise it up, “Here’s what’s going to happen: you use that mouth for something good, no touching, if I see you trying to move your hands….” He trailed off and looked at the riding crop.
 “Then I strike you.”
 He paused, gauging my reaction. And from the way my breath hitched in my throat, he had guessed I would enjoy it. “If you want to stop, you make a peace sign with your hand behind your back, understood?” I nodded, and he told me to do one right now to make sure I understood. Once I did, he smiled genuinely and pulled out his cock from his sweatpants. It was now fully erected and while I had seen it through different pictures, I wanted it more now. He stroked his cock lazily a few times, then beckoned me to come closer, “Open your mouth,” he slid it in slowly, praising me as he did so, “There we go, good girl,”
 Instinctively, I was about to move my hands to grab the base of his cock but was struck before I could do so. I moaned at the stinging pain, breathing through my nose before starting to bob my head the best I could without the balance of my hand. I started licking him slowly, making sure to let my tongue press the tip of his cock more than the rest, suckling on the tip from time to time. I relished in the groans it elated from him. His free hand slid to the base of my neck, maybe he was unsure of how I’d react if he did more.
 Dragging my lips back and forth on his length, making sure to use my tongue around it, I twirled my tongue around his tip, looking him dead in the eyes. “Grab my hair, are you the one feeling shy now, doc?” I licked my lips when he grabbed a fistful of hair and pulled my head back to have me look at him from a different angle. I gasped at the pain, my mouth open yet smiling, so was he. He was smiling smugly as he looked down at me, enjoying the sight a lot more than he was showing it. I moved a bit to use my heel to get some friction and was struck down to stop.
 Chuckling breathlessly, I quirked a brow, it only unnerved him more, “You’re being a lot more disobedient when we have company, I can’t have him think you’re untamed now, can I?” He breathed against my lips, I closed my eyes, expecting a kiss from him but was met with a leathery texture. Opening my eyes, I realized Law was brushing the riding crop over my lips, I opened my mouth once more, he did not wait to brush it over my tongue. Giving it a little tap, startling me before bringing his hand that was holding it, over my shoulder.
 “So desperate for it, so eager… But so, fucking, insubordinate- if you want it so bad you better start taking it,” He breathed, “And it’s: yes sir, not doc,” Without further warning, he shoved my head over his cock, and I moaned around it when I felt it hit the back of my throat. It made him laugh breathlessly, groaning at the same time as he kept guiding my head onto his cock. When I hollowed my cheeks around it, a sigh escaped his lips and he paused for a moment, leaning in. Before he could speak, I uttered, “Did I say you could stop?”
 His brows raised and all playfulness was gone from his eyes, mine widened and I felt a shiver run down my spine. Fuck, I shouldn’t have done that, I thought as I straightened my back, about to move my hands to hold his thighs, I was struck down before I could do anything. The moan that escaped my lips was more embarrassing than anything, I could feel a rush of heat coursing through my body. He let go of my hair and instead gripped my jaw tightly, “I can’t praise you when you’re being anything but good,” He said sternly,
 “From what I’m seeing, you want it rough, and I’m ready to give it...” He trailed off, his eyes traveling over my form while his finger brushed over my drooling lips, “Unless you make it up to me, and stop fighting me,” I averted my eyes, thinking, but quickly looked back at Law when he tutted me, saying “Eyes over here,”
 “Keep that little game up and I promise, I’ll have you tied up in the middle of the bed with a toy inside you and no fucking relief,” He said loud enough for Rosinante to hear it, I tried to glance at him but had Law’s leg in the way and huffed, “Or you give up the reins, and let me lead the dance,” He continued, his finger pulling my lip down before opening my mouth, his thumb on my teeth. I licked it without answering, hands still behind my back.
 “So, what do you say, are you going to be good now?” I nodded. He struck me down, I gasped in pleasure feeling the new spot on my back sting more than the other times, “What did I say? Words.”
With his finger still in my mouth, I articulated the best I could, “I’ll be good, sir. I’m sorry-“ “You will be, let’s have you apologize properly hm? Open wide,” Once again, I took him in, I did not waste time to try and take him deeper than I had before, making him moan out of breath as his hand settled under my chin on my throat. He wasn’t gripping it tightly; If anything, I believe he was feeling the bulge of his cock in my throat and getting off on knowing he did that.
 I saw his composure slip as he leaned back and started bucking his hips in my mouth, “That’s it, take it- all- like a good- little- pet-“ Each words were emphasized by a thrust, I tried to meet them all and could feel tears streaming down my face at the effort it took fort me not to gag. Sounds of our heavy breathings and moans, mixed with groans of pleasure, echoed on the walls until he pulled out. He had stopped himself before reaching climax and was still very hard, I licked his cock clean before wiping my mouth and chin on his pants.
 With a lazy smile, he leaned in and grabbed the rope to pull me closer, his lips ghosting over mine, “Are you going to behave, now?”
Raised on my knees, I tried to meet his lips, but he struck me without thinking twice about it, “A question, an answer, is it so hard?” I shook my head, gulping and replied in a sore voice, “I’ll behave, sir.” He then whispered, “Good girl,” before bringing me into a kiss, tender at first but it quickly turned more hungry, more needy. I wanted to bring him closer, taking his face in my hands to feel him but focused on keeping my hands behind my back.
 He must have sensed my struggle since he broke the kiss to look at me intently, “While you do look good on your knees…” He let go of the rope and stood up, making sure to take the riding crop with him. I tensed when I felt it touch my back, knowing how raw my skin was, and how it still felt like it was burning. Yet, I wanted to lean in, and I was ready to beg for more. But instead, I looked straight ahead, and waited. “When I say good, I mean, exquisite…” I moved my hands to my lap, thinking it’d be better for him.
 I was wrong. “I didn’t say you could do that,” Another hit, this time at the juncture of my shoulder blade and my neck, another breathless moan, another quick move as I brought my hands back in my back. I was startled once more when I felt his presence over me, his lips brushing over my ear, “I knew you’d make the most sinful sounds,” His teeth grazed the shell of my ear, biting it just enough to feel them.
 “But I think seeing the tears rolling down your face,” he started, gripping my chin tightly to make me look up at him, my jaw clenched, “… and your pretty mouth fucked out, unable to talk back, that’s how I want it,” He continued, his eyes riveted on the drying tears on my cheeks as his thumb brushed over them. He then leaned over and placed a kiss on my forehead, “You did good. Now, let’s get my girl in a more comfortable position, what do you say?” I didn’t move but whispered back in agreement. It made him laugh as he let go of my face and told me that I could move.
 I had to hold onto his arm when I stood up and wobbled. Having stayed on my knees too long made my articulations hurt but it felt good to finally be standing, it did not last long when Law had me lay down on my back after making sure I was alright. “I’m alright, in fact I could have taken it a bit longer, if you want to know,” I told him teasingly, talking about his thrusts in my throat. He stopped mid-way, a knee on the bed, still wearing his pants. “Your sore voice says otherwise,” he replied in a tone just as light, he gave me a once over before leaning to the side and getting an unopened bottle of water from the side of the bed.
 “If you’re still that eager, we better take care of you before any more fun, mh?” Opening it, he told me to drink some more before continuing, I reached out for the bottle and saw that my hands were slightly shaking. I thought it wasn’t noticeable until Law scooted closer and was ready to help me drink. I simply took the bottle from his hand, brought a pillow to cover my front and took large gulps, maybe letting some spill down my chin and over my throat.
 Law watched me carefully, an interested smile on his face, “It’s funny how you’re trying to act decent by covering yourself, and yet, intentionally bring my attention to you,” He took the bottle from my hand and put it on the nightstand before pushing me down and throwing the pillow away. His lips latched onto my throat as he licked the trickling drop away, starting from the bottom to finally reach my chin where he kissed my lips softly. “Let’s ruin that made-up sense of decency and make it as debauched as we can,”
 Kissing him back, I chuckled at how promising it sounded and suggested enthusiastically, “Then let’s start by taking those pants off,” When I slithered my hands to the string of his pants, he quickly pinned them over my head making me yelp in surprise, and excitement once more. I wrapped my hands the best I could around his, or at least touched the back of his hand with the tip of my fingers, “Let’s make something clear, because you seem to forget I’m the one who’s leading this dance,” He started, his free hand hovering right above my breast as he very delicately ghosted his finger over my nipple, making me gasp when I felt the wetness from his skin.
 I looked at him more carefully and saw him dip his finger inside the water bottle to just have me even more sensitive as he brushed it against my skin. All the while playing with my nipples, he spoke, “That mouth of yours is allowed to do four things. One, answer when I ask a question, two, beg, three, moan, four, scream my fucking name. Is that understood?” Although he asked it in a stern tone, making sure I was going to obey and not act out, I couldn’t help the smile on my face as I nodded, “Yes, sir,” I was thoroughly enjoying the sight of him with his lips, mere breaths away from my nipple.
 Looking at him expectantly, I bit the inside of my lips as he approached closer and closer, his breath cooling the wetness on my skin. I let out a satisfied sigh when I felt his warm tongue balancing the coldness of my hardened nipple. Thinking he was solely focused on my breasts; I was surprised when I felt his hand slowly travel down my stomach and to my thighs. He paused there and drummed his fingers there a moment before starting to draw little patterns with the tip of his fingers. I wasn’t getting anything. His tongue was working on my breasts, but that was it. I wanted more, I needed more.
So, I threw a glance at the door, but I couldn’t see anything from this angle. Casting my pride aside, I mumbled Law’s name, followed by, “Please…” He stopped everything, and quirked a brow, a smug smile on his lips, “I didn’t quite catch that, pet. A bit louder, go ahead,” His tongue resumed its work on my nipples, this time his hands joining. I was trying to arch my back to feel him more, my breathing getting only heavier, it made it impossible to not feel the ropes around my form. “I’m not hearing anything, maybe I should stop-“ “Please, sir… Please, more, everything,”
 “Good girl,” He breathed against my lips before pressing his against mine very slowly, his tongue prying my mouth open as he deepened the kiss. It heated up quickly, I threaded my hands through his hair to pull him closer only to have him laugh breathlessly as he broke the kiss. “Show me how bad you want it,” He sat back on the bed, still between my legs and wrapped my legs around his hips, he started kissing my inner thigh softly as he spoke, “I’ll be right there, and you will be touching yourself for me,”
 Sitting up, I quickly moved my hands behind my back to show him I wasn’t doing anything with them, and saw the grin displayed on his lips. I continued, “Law- really? No, please, I don’t want to wait any longer, please?” Pulling me closer by my thighs, I gasped and almost lost balance but gripped his forearms tightly. “You’ll wait, because I told you to. You want to be good, don’t you?” A shiver ran down my spine, I looked off to the side but didn’t reply. He continued, “You think I forgot, all that we talked about those past few nights?” He whispered against my ear.
 “How desperate you were for me to guide you, obeying each of my command…” He left a kiss behind my ear, trailing to the side of my neck, the hair on my body rose, I was thrilled. I felt his hand travel up my body, to one of my arms, down to my hand were the held me a moment, “And how little time it took for you to show off,” He brought my hand between our body, I reached for his pants but he tutted me, “to spread those legs,” He spread his, spreading mine in the process, “and to touch yourself to the sound of my voice?” I wasn’t looking at him, instead my eyes were focused on his body, on how his hand felt around mine.
 “Not with your friend here, please,” I whispered hesitantly. It felt more intimate like this, to touch yourself in front of someone, than being literally fucked in front of someone, I was afraid Law would find it annoying but instead he chuckled. “He left a moment ago, when I brought you on the bed, I told him to leave,” He explained. I rose to my knees to look behind Law’s back and indeed saw that no one was on the chair, I felt more comfortable to do as Law suggested, but wanted to hear more of him. When I sat back, my legs still around his hips, he looked at me with a look of almost-hunger.
 I chuckled nervously, never leaving his gaze. With a smug smile, his free hand caressed my throat slowly. “That doesn’t mean we’re done, I believe I was reminding you of how obedient you were before and how much you misbehaved tonight, mh?” “I’m good now, I promise,” I said clearly, not wanting to let it transpire that I kind of enjoyed how he handled the attitude.
“Then, show me how good you are, pet,” He guided my hand between my legs, and pressed my fingers with his, right behind my hand. “I’m sure you know what to do from there,” I nodded, and did exactly as he wanted, to help I rested my forehead on his shoulder and closed my eyes to focus more but was quickly stopped.
 “That won’t do, show me your pretty face,” When I did, he smiled and pressed his lips on my throat, “That’s it, a lot better, good girl,” I let out a shaky breath upon hearing the words, and had to hold myself back from leaning back on his shoulder. It became harder when his tongue trailed down my neck, leaving hickeys all over it, but he was still talking between as he busied himself,
 Isn’t it easier like that? To do exactly as I tell you. I find it easier to praise my girl when she is acting like the good girl, I know she is. Not when she’s bratting out. Needy for my cock. Eager to get fucked. Desperately clinging onto the power. Not letting go of it. But we both know you relish in being powerless, don’t you? Being told what to do. I can see how much you enjoy it. Look at you, fucking yourself on my lap. If you keep making those sounds, I won’t be able to hold back, doll.
 Meeting his gaze once more, I said his name in the most desperate way I could. I didn’t want him to hold back, I wanted him to fuck me. Feeling myself getting close, I stopped and held onto Law’s shoulders before starting to roll my hips over his. He groaned and stopped talking, instead he gripped my hips forcefully to hold me in place. “Such a needy little thing, aren’t you?” He didn’t wait for my answer to throw me on my back and take off his pants. He reached out for the drawer in his nightstand and pulled out a condom before kneeling back between my legs and rolling the condom on.
 “Seeing how fucking needy you are, I would be tempted to see how many times I can make you cum until you’re finally satiated,” He looked me up and down before smirking, “But I think you’ve had quite a ride tonight,” I nodded, arching my back at the feeling of the sheets brushing against my pained back. Grinning, Law slid a hand between my leg and hovered there a moment, “Did you go a good job, or do I need to finger you myself?” It wasn’t a need more than a want, I would never say no to feeling his hands in me, on me, touching me, playing me like a toy.
 I wanted to tell him, “Law, just fuck me,” but I knew he wouldn’t like that, there was a power dynamic at play right now, I had to remember that. Yet I was also tempted to taunt him, get him more riled up but thought against it. It took some restraint, but I said, “I’m good-“ “Oh, I know you are, you are being very good, and I’m sure you’ll feel just as,” his elbows hooked under my knees, he did not waste time and started sheathing himself slowly, groaning in the process.
 A satisfied smile made its way on my lips, it felt so good, feeling him stretching me out, his hands gripping my legs with so much force it made the experience only more ecstatic. I pulled myself closer to him, making him hiss as he tried to hold back more sounds of pleasure from escaping his lips. Once he was fully in, he leaned in a moment, the muscles in my thighs were stretching but I was loving it. “What if I kept you like this?” I looked at him wide-eyed, about to refuse, but he continued, “That expression on your face, I’ll be sure to do it another time, but I want to make good use of my fucktoy tonight.”
 Pressing a kiss to my cheek, he trailed down and nibble the skin of my neck, “That’s what you are, mm? A good girl, but also my pretty little fucktoy,” He wanted me to say it, it felt weird to say it out loud, it didn’t want to roll of my tongue.
 Bucking his hips inside me, Law grunted, “I asked you a question,” I let out a breathless pant, my head diving in the pillows, “Sure, yes, I’m your fucktoy,” I huffed, trying to meet his hips once more, but he held me in place and pinned my hands over my head once more, his free hand turning my face to look at him. “Try again, without the attitude, I want to see your embarrassed face, I did say I’d ruin that silly pride of yours, did I not?” He asked rhetorically as he started thrusting very slowly inside me.
 Meeting his gaze, I felt my body heat up and stared at him the best I could, my mouth gasping soundlessly at each of his thrusts. When I closed my eyes to enjoy it more, he stopped, “You’re not going to get it, if you don’t say it, I am a patient man,” The way my name rolled of his tongue, made it a lot more sinful than I thought it could be. The staring contest lasted a few moments before I let it leave my mouth in a low tone, when I looked off to the side, I was tutted again and forced myself to look at him, jaw clenched, “I am your fucktoy, sir.”
 The smug smile on his face made me believe I was done with this, but his grip on my hands tightened when he leaned in and kissed me softly. It felt warm, and reassuring, unlike the grin that was now displayed on his lips, “Guess I’ll have to make you say it with more enthusiasm,” The pace of his thrusts quickened and deepened, each followed by a grunt. The expression on his face didn’t change, he was looking at me as if challenging me, I did not even try to match it, I was enjoying it too much.
 Mouth wide open, moans escaping my throat, back arched to meet each of his thrusts, my legs wrapped tighter around him to try and keep him deep inside me. My heels were digging his back, soon his thrusting was accompanied by soft praises, telling me how good I made him feel, how much he was enjoying the sight of me splayed out for him like that. My breath was erratic, I had a harder time to breath with the ropes, but I could still breathe well enough. It felt so good. I hadn’t realized I had begged for more until I heard his chuckle, “You’re taking me so well, let’s see how good you’ll do when you’re on your knees,” He pulled out and told me to turn around.
 With shaky limbs, I did as he gestured and pressed my chest on the bed, my hands on each side of my head, my ass up. As his hands caressed my ass, his cock teasing me, he leaned over and in a gentle voice asked my color, “Green, green,” I repeated it in case he hadn’t heard me with my head pressed against the mattress. One of his hand gently placed itself on my head and brushed my hair softly, before tracing his hand on my back, grazing his nails on my skin on the way. I whimpered at the sudden feeling, feeling even more elated.
 Without further warning, he slid his cock back in and started fucking me senseless, he did not take his time. He was going in wildly, slamming hips against his without ever stopping. I was moaning loudly, my hands gripping the sheets, when I tried to move one of my hand to touch my clit, he laughed and told me to not move them. I whined, thinking I wouldn’t get any of that heaven sent pleasure, but was caught off guard when one of his hand did exactly what I needed. His finger was playing with my clit, all the while his cock was being rammed mercilessly inside me.
 When my teeth clenched around the sheet to try to hold back my loud moaning, Law only went harder but more erratically, “I believe I said your mouth could do four things, mind reminding them to me?” I nodded against the mattress, but didn’t go ahead, I felt him move and felt the sudden stinging pain of the riding crop hitting my ass. A half-pain, half-pleasure gasp left my lips, as I obeyed, “Answer your- questions,” I breathed, wanting to cover my mouth when I interrupted myself by panting more groans. “Beg,” a strong thrust, a moan, “moan,” and again. “Scream your name-“ I felt his lips pressed against my neck as he whispered a praise, “That’s my girl,”
 “Now, since you’re being so good, I’ll tell you what’s going to happen, yes?” I nodded, he lazily played with my clit as his thrusts slowed down while he talked, “If by the time you’re going to cum, you haven’t admitted you’re my pretty little fucktoy,” he threaded his fingers through my hair and lifted my head to have me look at him, “And mean it, then I’ll stop, understood?” I looked at him through tired eyes, and yet with surprise. He wouldn’t do that, would he? As he if heard my thought, he smiled at me, a smile that told me he was entirely willing to do so. “Yes, sir.”
 The fingers that were threaded through my hair slid to my cheek and caressed it gently, “You’re so beautiful like that, let’s have you even more fucked out, mh?” Just like that, he resumed his thrusting. It wasn’t as consistent as before, making it harder to get used to the pace. When he hit the spot, I panted out his name and regretted right away, “Right- there?-“ he bucked his hips each time, making me let out high-pitched whimpers. He leaned over, and whispered, out of breath, “Time’s running out, pretty girl,” I couldn’t look at him.
 I was getting closer and closer at each thrust, my ability to speak getting lost on the way but it couldn’t let it happen. I had to tell him, but I was getting a bit foggy and out of it from how good I felt, yet I managed to utter between the melody of pleasure leaving my mouth, “Please- let me cum- I’m- fuck, your fucktoy- Law-“ A very satisfied grunt left his throat, while my face burnt hotter than fire, it was embarrassing to say so out loud, “Turn around, I want to see that pretty face of yours when I make you cum,”
 When I did, I tried to cover my face, but he moved my hands away, pining them over my head once more. “There, was it that hard? Look at you, you can’t be shy when moments ago you were practically begging for my cock,” “Law, fuck me, please,” I breathed out tiredly, needily, his expression lost its arrogance for a moment and was filled with surprise before returning to the cocky one. Without another word, he fucked me senseless as promised. It was wild, rough, I tried to bring his hand to my neck, but he only shook his head and told me not tonight before focusing back on the sensation of my walls around his cock.
 At this pace, we were both reaching our peak in no time. His thrusts were erratic, I was being loud but didn’t try to cover it, I knew he was enjoying it a lot and wanted him to feel as good as he made me feel. The mix of his cock hitting the perfect spot, his fingers stimulating my clit along the constricted feeling of the ropes around my chest brought me closer to release. I felt my toes curl as my back arched, the praising that flooded from Law’s mouth made me break, the knot inside my stomach snapped and I felt myself go limp. Law joined me soon, finishing off before pulling out.
 I was a bit dazed, but at some point, I saw Law kneel on the side of the bed with a washcloth and ointment. He first undid the ropes around my form, it took some time. I looked at him through tired eyes the entire time, he was focused but when he looked at me, a small smile was painted on his face. “You did good, we’ll talk more about that later-“ “I’m good right now, what do we talk about?” I slurred, was I that tired?
 “First, let’s take care of you. It was a bit rougher than I expected,” He said softly, when he was done with the ropes, he helped me lay on my stomach and covered my butt with a blanket as he put some ointment on my back. Maybe it was because I was only half-awake, or perhaps it was because I was dozing off even more with the massage I was receiving as he spread the ointment on my back, but I spoke, “I want to do this again… not right now, not all the time, because I think I’d like to just have casual sex with you along sessions like this too,”
 With my head resting on my arms, I glanced at Law, “But also go on a date, or more than one,” I mumbled against my arms. Law hadn’t answered yet and was now drying his hands as he handed me a shirt. For a moment, I thought I had fucked up once again. That I should have just left after the sex, but not only was I physically unable to do so at this instant, but I also did not want to. “You are aware my schedule is fucked up?”
 “That didn’t stop you from sexting a stranger from your office, did it?” I asked teasingly, making a blush appear on his cheeks as he stood up and put everything away. I only now realized he had dressed up once more. “What I’m saying is that, we can make it work if we want to, and… I don’t mind having online… fun if we’re both a bit busy but horny, you know?” a snort escaped his lips as he left the room and came back just as quickly with a plate in hand.
 “Would you be willing to go to charity galas? Because if we’re dating, there will be a lot of those,” He said softly, his cheeks still tainted with pink. I looked up at him curiously as I put on the shirt and sat up, groaning as I felt the soreness that was settling. “Would I have to wear a fancy outfit and look super hot?” I asked half-jokingly while taking the food he handed me. It felt so fucking good to eat after such an intense effort.
 Smiling genuinely, he nodded, “Yes, and maybe even add a little accessory, I think you’ve heard of it, it’s called a vibrating egg-“ “Law! Fuck off- it was- no, you know what? Let’s! I think it could be fun, but you can’t blame me if I pull you to the side when it’s too much- plus we were talking casually, did you have to bring that up?” I asked rhetorically, this time my cheeks were aflame. But we were both smiling, and when he placed a hand on my knee reassuringly and I placed mine on his.
 “It’s a strange situation but I think something good can come out of it, do we give it a try?” We had both talked about being willing to do this, but this time asking it like that felt a bit frightening. I feel like he could still refuse, and I was afraid of it, but still waited. “I’ll try my best to keep you entertained, Edelweiss,” He put an emphasis on my username before leaning in and kissing me softly. We both smiled into the kiss, feeling a lot better than we did when it started, almost content.
 Boredom makes you do crazy things, lack of free time too… but I think boredom won’t be a concern of mine no more, and no matter how busy I’ll be I’ll surely find some entertainment with the prettiest surgeon I would soon call partner, of more than research purposes.
[The end]
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weeb-writor · 3 years
Text
MHA boys dating an insecure quirkless reader
Heyo! Today I have request! Its is a lil sad but does have a happy ending as requested! It features two of my favorites Bakugou and Kirishima! And the reader is neutral as usual! I hope you all like it. 
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Bakugou Katsuki x Reader  Kirishima Eijirou
Resquest: Bakugou and Kirishima with a quirkless reader who thinks they aren't good enough until Bakugou/Katsuki tell them they are good enough.
Words: 1442
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BAKUGOU KATSUKI
The moment you set eyes on Bakugou you were in love. Did you believe in love at first before him, nah. What else could you call it except that. You were sure you could woo him though until 2 realities hit you straight in the face. 1. Your friend said he was a UA hero in training and 2. He was harsh and brash and would most likely hate you. So you gave up for the most part until one day while you were at a café you heard him and his loud friends come in and sit in the booth next you. They were studying, Bakugou was yelling at them, trying but failing to help them understand. You were just reading and kind of spaced out and yelled out the answer hoping they would quiet down. What you didn't account for was all their eyes suddenly on you.
“Woah how did you solve that so quickly!” A red head said with a cute grin. You were taken a back so you just blinked at the boy.
“You did that all in your head without scrap paper?” Bakugou said, eyebrows raised at you.
“Uhh yeah, it wasn't too hard!” You said turning away from their judgy glances.
“Huh well, im Bakugou Katsuki.” He said reaching his hand out to you with a blush. You hurried to shake it, astonished that he was letting you shake his hand. You don't know how it happened but shortly after that Bakugou claimed you were his person, his dumbass, and you of course let him. And when he had to rescue you from some of your constant bullies he told you it didn't matter you were quirkless. You were strong and perfect to him so fuck anyone who thought different. So how did you end up here, crying on the roof of an abandoned house? There were a few reasons why. One you felt hopeless Bakugou had just been in a fight nearly dying and you could do nothing but watch from home and two… well how could someone like you even stand near Bakugou let alone be good enough to date him. You in fact weren't not strong, or brave, or heroic. You are a quirkless kid who has nothing and nobody but yourself. Bakugou would realize it soon, that he was the star and you were just a kid wishing to be close to him. These are the awful thoughts that lead you here. Just gazing at the stars in the middle of the night. 
“You haven't called me in weeks, seen me in weeks, when I come to you, you avoid me and then no one hears from you in a week and I find you here?!” A voice yelled from behind you, you immediately knew it was Bakugou.
“Oh Bakugou….” You said turning to him shocked to say the least.
“God dammit, I keep telling you to call me Katsuki. What’s happening Y/n, why are you acting like this? I don't understand, is it me?” He said, his eyes watery. You imdeiatly were filled with regret. The boy blamed himself for everything that ever went wrong and the last thing you ever wanted to do was add to it.
“No! Nothing to do with you, promise.” You said taking his head in your hands, making him meet your eyes.
“It's got something to with me, cause if it didn't, cause if you trusted me and loved me like you say you would talk to me.” He yelled as quietly as he could.
“It’s me, okay?!” You yelled at him. This got his attention you never yelled.
“I am kidding myself in this relationship.” You paused to let out a sad and watery chuckle. “I’m not… I'm not good enough for you. You are so amazing and you are gonna be number one someday. Surrounded by other great heroes and people, but me. I am a quirkless idiot who fell in love with someone way out of my league.” 
“What a stubborn asshole you are. Maybe this is a punishment for bullying Deku all those years. I'm hopelessly in love with you, and you can't fathom that I love you. I don't know how many times I have to say I love you and I don't care that you’re quirkless. You are the only person good enough for me, the only person I’m not good enough for if anything. Okay? You are more than good enough for me.” He said eyes boring into yours. You felt as if a weight had been lifted off your chest. And with teary eyes you nodded at him before you were engulfed in a hug. 
“Say that you're good enough.” He whispered to you.
“I am good enough for you… Katsuki.” You whispered back after a moment. Your head felt wet as he sniffled.
“Yeah you are dumbass.”
KIRISHIMA EIJIROU
You and Kirishima’s meeting was a little odd. You were walking home when you heard a soft voice coming from an alley. Ignoring everything your parents taught you about stranger danger you followed the voice. It led you to a red head boy who was laying on the ground calling for a cat.
“Is it your cat?” You asked sitting down next to him. He jumped at your voice but turned to look at you with a smile. You immediately noticed this was Red Riot, an up and coming Hero.
“No, just a stray who’s in pretty rough shape, figured he needed a hero.” He said combing through his hair.
“Okay, then let me help.” You said as you took some food from your backpack and trailed a line of food from the dumpster to you guys. It didn’t take long for the cat to wander out and get the food. Took him a while to trust you guys enough to take food from your hands but he did and now he was loving head pats from Bakugou’s big hand.
“What a hero you are.” Kirishima said as both of you got up the cat in the carrier.
“Oh no, just a quirkless person who loves animals!” You said with a soft smile. He blinked at you before grinning.
“Still my hero but I was thinking I’m gonna keep him. We could co-parent if you want! I’m Kirishima Eijirou!” He said handing you a piece of paper. Before you could respond, he was gone. This was how your relationship began. Your relationship remained this fun and interesting for 2 years before the doubts hit you. That’s how you ended up here. Scrolling through all the posts and comments about you and Kirishima since you had become public. There were a lot and a lot of them were accepting and nice but the others were disgusting. All of them about how you weren’t good enough, how you stole him away from Mina, his childhood sweetheart and how deserving of him she was. You were in such a daze you didn’t even notice Kirishima come in to talk to you.
“Y/n!!” He yelled to you. You quickly blinked at him with tears in your eyes.
“Welcome home!” You tried your best to smile. He just stared at you for a second before he took your phone which you failed to hide. You didn’t even try to get it back, knowing his strength. His face dropped as he read the comments.
“Y/n why are you reading stuff like this?” He said as he broke your phone in anger.
“Because it’s true!” You yelled back at him. His mouth hung open at that.
“Because I’m not good enough for you, I’m a quirkless wannabe and Mina she’s perfect and strong and she has a quirk! She is deserving of you and I’m not!” You screamed trying to wipe away the cascade of tears running down your face.
“You’re right, Mina is strong and yeah, she does have a kickass quirk. She is also one of my best friends but do you know what she is not? She isn’t you. Y/n I fell in love with you! Whatever that means and anything that means. You are more than good enough for me! No matter what you do on tv or online. I love you y/n and you're amazing. Quirk or not okay?” He said, beginning to cry too.
“Don’t cry!” You said wiping the tears from his face.
“Then stop thinking weird things! You are enough! You’re better than enough.” 
“Okay I’ll work on it but stop crying.” You said laughing through your tears
“I can’t just stop crying on demand I’m not a robot y/n” He whined cutely at you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Masterlist
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lovewriting-5 · 3 years
Text
Wastelands:
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*photo is not mine*
8. Paradise Lost
10. Bad Harvest
Side note: I reversed the roles in this one. I’m not writing smut.
*I know I had him get a haircut in “Campfire Tales” but this was the best picture I could find*
9. Midnight Swim:
I can faintly hear Sean’s footsteps behind me. We reach the lake. I reach the edge of the lake and pause. Sean comes up behind me. He places his lips to my right temple and asks “Ready for this?” I hesitate, “I’m not sure.”
Sean gives me a wink and begins stripping down. I turn away in surprise. “What exactly did you have in mind, Diaz?” I ask. He says nothing and starts walking into the water. Sean begins “Oh fuck! FUUUCK! Whoo! Yes, I’m in! What are you waiting for?!” I dip my fingers into the water, “Oh, fuck this! It’s freezing!”
He’s swimming a little back and forth, “It’s all in your head! Just don’t think about it!” I mumble to myself “Huh...sure...Don’t think...”
I roll my eyes and give in. I begin lifting my shirt when he says “Whoo!” I give him a smirk and do a rotating motion with my hand. He throws his head back, “Really?” “Please.” I say. “Fine.” As he spins to face the forest behind him.
I strip down and make my way into the freezing water. “Brrrr...Okay, here I come...I think...” I tell him. I go as far as the top of the water reaching just below my clavicle. Sean turns back around, “You look a little cold. Want me to help with that?” He gets a smirk on his face. It took me a couple seconds to realize what he’s talking about. I hold my hands up, “Sean...do not even - -“ as he begins splashing me. I tell him “Dude, you are so...”
Sean raises an eyebrow, “Adorable? Yeah, I know! Not bad, (Y/L/N). Didn’t think you’d actually do it!” I tell him as I shiver a little, “My body just had to get used to it...Not that cold.”
He smirks “That’s because I had to pee...” I splash him as I say, “Ha ha HA! You’ve been spending too much time with Finn. But...speaking of...what are you gonna do about Finn and...You know, his plan.” He says “It’s a really stupid idea. Way too dangerous. Especially for Daniel.” I tell him “I know...Finn acts like this is no big deal, but...this feels bad.” I look down at the water, “Plus, I don’t want you guys to get in any more trouble...”
The water on my right side splashes a little. Sean has moved a little closer, “Yeah, tell that to Daniel. He’s gonna be pissed.” I look at him, “He’s your brother, he’ll listen to you. Finn says he wants to take care of us but...but he doesn’t always see other people...It’s all about him.” It was his turn to look at the water, “I know. But I feel bad for ruining his dream.” I tell him “I’m sure he’ll rage for awhile but then he’ll be cool. He likes you.” Sean asks “What do you mean?”
“You seriously can’t tell?” I ask him. He says with a smirk as he swims closer, “Actually, if you can’t tell...I really like you.” I place my arms around the back of his neck, “If you haven’t already noticed but we are both naked...” Blushing, he says while he puts his hands on my waist, “Well...I’m surprised you joined me. I thought you were going to bail because it was so cold.” Changing the subject, I ask “So what did Cassidy do to your arm?” He holds it out of the water, “Oh...she just gave me my first tattoo.” I wrap my arms a little more around his neck, “Oooo, you’re a badass. What did you get?” He says “A wolf.” Kind of circling back to the previous topic, “So...do you wanna kiss me?”
“Considering I’ve kissed you multiple times but never in a lake at night while we’re both like this...yes, I do.” Sean says. I kiss him. After a half hour, I pulled away. I ask “So, what do you say we get outta here?”
We walk out of the water and this time I don’t try and hide while getting dressed. I can feel the clothes starting to cling to my body. As we walk back to the camp, the clothes feel a little stiff with the cool air. I intertwine my fingers with Sean’s. On our way back, he would look over and lean down to kiss me.
Since him and Daniel share a tent, we make our way to my tent. We reached my tent, I say “Hold on a sec.” I kneel down, unzip the flap and move a few things out of the way. I stand back up, “Sean, hello?” We both are nervous in this moment. He asks with nervousness, “You want me to come inside?” I tell him with a small smile, “Only if you would like to.”
“Yeah, I do...” he says with a small smile. Sean kneels down and crawls in. I crawl in after him. He lays on his left side propped up on his elbow. I sit cross legged. I look at him, “You cool?” He begins tracing a circle on the floor of the tent, “Um, totally. Uh...I’m...I’m just nervous...Kinda bummed we waited ‘til now...” “Me too. We’ve had a few moments before but there was too much other stuff going on at the time.” I tell him. I lean close and give him a quick kiss.
I move to laying on my right side also propped up on my elbow. He looks down again at the floor, “Uh...Hey listen, I...I think you should know that I’m...uh...” I tell him “Sean, it’s okay. I am too but how about we both learn together.” He looks at me, smiles and then leans in to kiss me.
We get intimate and after some time, we stopped. Sean sits up and wraps his arms around the top of his knees. I sit up, place my arms around him and lay my chin on his left shoulder.
I ask him “Hey...What’s up?” He says “Nothing, I just...Never mind.” “Come on...you can talk to me! Sean, this is the first time for both of us...How about we promise not to give each other a bad review online? Promise?” I tell him. He says with a chuckle, “Promise and that’s very sweet. But you don’t have to be like that.” I say “Hey, I mean it, Sean. Just take it easy and...We’ll have time to practice...Okay? Okay, we need some fresh air, let’s get dressed...Until we fuck again.”
Both of us get dressed and step out of the tent. I tell him “Sean, it’s all good, okay?” That’s when Hannah and Cassidy come over to us. Hannah asks “Hey, what’s happening? Wait - - did you guys just have sex?!” I tell her with a small smile, “Yeah, kinda!” Sean embarrassingly, says “Uh, yep...”
Hannah asks “Did you see Finn? He was with Daniel but now I can’t find him.” I tell them “We didn’t see anybody out there...but...” Cassidy gets a realization, “We better go now.” Irritated, Sean says “Figures Daniel is with him...” Hannah says before walking off, “Just tell Finn I wanna talk. Thanks much. Later.” She walks back to the campfire.
Before walking off, Sean gives me a kiss. Cassidy and him begin walking away. As I watch them walk off toward Merrill’s place, I start getting really nervous and anxious. I begin thinking about all the things that could go wrong.
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