#you would not believe how long it took to reduce the file size and resolution so tumblr would stop nagging about them being too large

[frogsmulder]

Maybe There’s Hope: chpt 4 Home is What I’ll be Dreaming of

Starting from the final events of 09x20 The Truth,  Mulder and Scully tackle their new reality as fugitives. When they  finally settle into things, Scully finds out she is pregnant again. A canon divergent AU where I thought, what if Scully got pregnant whilst on the run instead of at the end of season 11?

6k words; rated e; tagging @today-in-fic; read on ao3

  "Mom?"

 "Dana?"

The image of opening the door to her daughter's frightened face flashed before her eyes as she put the key into the lock of Dana's apartment.

 "I'm sorry, mom, I don't have much time... but I'm leaving."

 "Leaving where? Dana, you're not making any sense."

Margaret Scully stepped into her daughter's world still smelling fresh like the owner had popped out to work that morning. She half expected Dana to appear around the corner at any moment.

 "I can't say. I don't even know myself. The trial– it's–"

 "Fox. I understand."

Running her finger along the top of a cabinet, she rubbed the particles into the pad of her digit– the dust had barely started settling on the surface. She remembered embracing her daughter, Dana clutching back like it would be the last time she would get to. Maggie liked to believe she had more faith than to believe that.

 "Mom, there's something I need you to do for me because I won't be there and I don't know if I'll be back."

She picked up the envelope on the side; held it firmly in her hands as she took a long look at the room; all the idiosyncrasies scattered about, neatly organized on bookshelves and the mantelpiece in the way that was so Dana. Sitting down on the couch, she sized up the task at hand: pack a life into boxes, for everything must go. She opened the envelope– the lease on the apartment ended next month.

She started in the bedroom, where all of Fox's possessions hadn't been unpacked yet. They were stuffed into the bottom of the closet, hidden away like bad memories. Maggie knew what it was like with her husband away at sea, not knowing when– if he'd be back. But she'd had her children, her friends, her church group, her faith. She may have felt lonely at times, but she was never alone. She knew her daughter; knew her tendency to shut people out when she needed them most; her need to prove her strength. She worried for Dana.

Pulling the first box out, she lifted the lid and looked inside. Scraps of newspaper clippings littered the bottom, disguising a picture frame and what she suspected was a case file.

"Oh, Fox," she sighed, returning the lid and his privacy. She was transported back to her own doorstep again, hugging Dana before she left. "You promise me one thing: you look after him."

In another box were all of his university books, editions of the Lone Gunmen magazine; another family heirlooms like silverware sets, photographs, inscribed books, a velvet box, a pocket watch. Maggie sat down on her daughter's unmade bed: the only sign that Dana had left in a hurry. The pillow askew revealed a knot of cloth, the top of William's baby hat. "Oh, Dana." She whispered like when she had hugged her tighter on the doorstep. "And you let him look after you."

Maggie shook her head. She wouldn't do it. All of their things, they were not things to be thrown out. She took the hat and carefully folded it, putting it away in a box, saving the good memories, saving all of them.

----------

 "Mom?"

 "Dana?"

Dana stood dumbfounded on her mother's step, pinching herself with excitement, relief, and nervousness. She rushed into her mother's waiting arms, finally coming home after what had been an eternity. "Oh my God, mom, I've missed you so much!"

The thud of crashing into the embrace jolted Scully, opening her eyes to the bright Mexican sun beating down through the windscreen of the car. Gasping, she bolted upright, clutching her hands by her thighs, before she bolted out of the door. Stood in the bright sunlight, she caught and held her breath. In. Hold. Out. It wasn't the first dream like it she'd had, but she was shocked every time by how real they felt and how tangible her mother seemed. Calmer now, she looked at Mulder in the passenger seat, drifting roughly in and out of sleep. His eyes opened groggily as he slowly stirred, stretched, and groaned. He offered her a warm smile that melted some of the ache in her chest and watered a different, better kind into bloom. When he stumbled out of the car and over the dusty ground to join her, Scully turned away, looking out across the open land. He slipped his hands around her waist from behind, stooping to rest his chin upon her shoulder.

"You had a bad dream again," he mumbled into her shoulder.

Scully leaned her head defeatedly against his. She turned in his arms and buried her face into his t-shirt, breathing in his warm, sleepy scent and sighing. Rubbing her hands up and down his sides, she huffed and pushed herself from the wrap of his arms. "I thought I was home again," she said simply, looking up at him.

"Yeah, me too," he hummed. "Well, actually, we were in the office and you were throwing paperwork at me, telling me you would chew my ass before Skinner could even get to me if it wasn't done on time."

She might have chuckled but Mulder doubted that she would share her dream so freely, despite his effort to tease it out of her. He understood her need for privacy but he wished at times she would be a little less unforgiving, building her walls twice as quickly as he could chisel them away. Resolutely, he stood up straighter, holding out his hand out in invitation. She queried him with her eyebrows, so he flexed it imploringly. "Take a walk with me."

"Where?" she laughed.

"Anywhere, everywhere." He chipped away at her guard with a smile. "This fine foreign land has many fruits to offer."

"Okay–" she took his hand cautiously– "but not too far."

They ambled awhile aimlessly with no destination in mind. Taking each step at a time, it was pleasant living in the moment with no expectations. The liberation of no judgement from the open expanse drew them closer together. Between them, they spoke in silences, admiring the craggy landscape decorated with scraggy bushes. As Scully walked along, her thoughts drifted like the thin, wispy clouds on the breeze, back to her mother and the home she no longer had. She hadn't told Mulder yet, not because she couldn't bring herself to tell him, but because with all that had happened, it had slipped her mind. Everything she had now was all ahead of her and everyone to the side of her, holding her hand and swinging it gently like a pendulum. Life seemed simple when reduced to its basic measures: food, water, shelter, Mulder. She wondered how long she could live on that.

Mulder's voice broke through the cloud of her thoughts like a siren returning her to the moment. "Tell me what you're thinking."

Scully looked at him, surprised that he could see into her mind so easily.

"You may keep things closer to yourself these days, but I know your thinking face when I see it." He said it kindly but the honesty of his words punched a hole through her gut. She tried to tell him these things but she also had to figure them out for herself first. She only regretted that she'd ever hurt him in any way being caught in the brunt of her storm.

"It's been a month." The words surprised her as they tumbled out without her knowing.

He cocked his head. "What has?"

"Us..." she breathed. Scully made a point of looking him in the eye, even if it stole the breath from her lungs to see him focused on her so intensely. "... living like this."

His thumb shakily stroked the back of her hand. "You're counting?"

"I find it hard not to."

Mulder nodded.

She sighed. "I– I couldn't tell you what day it is, but I... I don't know– have the need to keep a tally; a record of some kind." It was like her body clock was scratching tally marks on the walls of her mind. Like she was a prisoner in her own skull. "I do it to keep me sane but does it make me mad?"

"Sometimes the only sane response to an insane world is insanity," he answered.

"That's not helping."

"Sorry." He paused in thought, taking a breath whilst trudging onwards. "I know what you mean... When Samantha first went missing and I was waiting for her to come through the bedroom door, I used to count the nights she didn't."

Curiosity claiming the better of her she asked, "When did you stop?"

"If I'm honest, I don't think I have. I just lost count somewhere along the way; found other days to count. Like when I was in hiding–" He took her other hand and pulled them to a stop, standing in front of her and looking into her blue eyes flickering with worry. Mulder could tell she would take what he was about to say the wrong way, so he tried to assure her with a squeeze of his hands and a loving look. "Every night I would cross off another day until I could see you and Will again... Sometimes that was the only thing that kept me going."

He felt her tense in his hands anyway, saw her eyes mist up as the walls grew thicker, yet she refused to let the tears spill. He steadied her at the shoulders, rubbing tender circles gently through the cloth of her t-shirt. Bending lower, he brushed his lips softly over hers, pulling her from the pain she harboured. Yet Scully remained frozen, unresponsive to the warm life of his lips, the hole in her gut tearing a little more. Pulling away to see her stone-faced, he whispered, "Scully, please don't do this to me. You have nothing to be sorry for."

She licked her lips and swallowed, allowing herself to sink to the bottom and the troubled waters calm over the top. Moving out of his grasp, she continued on their wander as if she could physically leave the memories behind.

Mulder's hand loosened on her shoulder, trailing down her arm as she walked away. A sharp tug drew him from the well of despair. As their hands met, she held on tightly coaxing him to follow, which he did so gratefully. She stopped them after a few paces, placing a hand upon his chest. On tiptoes, she raised herself to meet his lips, returning his kiss with mellow grace, not breaking until she had to breathe.

"Scull–" he questioned but was cut off by the press of her lips back against his, delicately answering him.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled against his mouth.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he repeated in a whisper. His hand rested at the small of her back, guiding her as he turned back the way they had come. "Come on, let's get some breakfast."

----------

Along the back roads of Mexico, they traveled for some time before they came across a small town. The one street through it was lined with sand-coloured buildings that glinted in the sunlight, some rising tall, others spread wide. All of them looked welcoming and homely and Scully, gazing out of her window, wondered what it would be like to live in one of them. As they drove past, she wondered about the lives of the people who did live in them. Did they argue about who took the trash out? Did the children constantly ask what was for dinner? Did they gather around a television in the evening with their families? It was a life that for the longest time she had dreamed of and at one point had mourned the loss of. Now, she was indifferent to the idea of getting out of the car, hardened by years of abnormalcy, or so she told herself. Home was just a dream; the car was all she had for a life. Yet still a small part of her dared to dream; dared to envy the people in this town of their families and their homely comforts. And at the same time, she feared that normalcy wouldn't be enough for her.

Mulder pulled up outside a storefront, eyeing the swathes of people moving in every direction. Despite its size, the town was full of bustling people going about their daily lives.

"How good's your Spanish, Scully?"

She gave him a withering look. "You know I took German in college."

"Mhmm, and I did French in high school. Where's Monica when you need her?"

Scully followed his line of gaze to the crowds of people. "Mulder, I don't think we should go in together."

"What?" He whipped his head around to look at her. "Scully, we're fine. Nobody knows us out here."

"I still think we'd be better off if only one of us went in."

"But what if one of us needs help?" he questioned quietly, scared by her sudden urge to be alone.

"I'm sure I'll be fine," she smiled, unbuckling her seatbelt. "Anyway, you need to drive the getaway car."

Scully left him in the car to his own thoughts spiraling with concern.

It was eerily quiet inside the store. The jingle of the bell above the door and the radio playing quietly in the background only heightened the silence within. Scully perused the shelves, picking up odd pieces like cereal bars, bottles of water, and a packet of sunflower seeds. By the counter, there was a rack of postcards, mostly just pictures of the map of Mexico or the flag with writing she didn't understand. She picked one up and thought of her mother who had no idea where she was or how she was. It would be too complicated to send without revealing their location, she knew that, but maybe when she got home she could give it to her mother like documentation of where they had been.

Scully had always wondered what it would be like to go traveling– her father's worldly trips had partly inspired her and she had been raised with what he called the Scully Adventurer's Spirit. Charlie had started his world trip in Mexico, although his journey had been an entirely legal affair. He hadn't crossed into new territory miles away from border control. Scully turned the postcard over in her hands, reminding herself how far from home she was. Yet strangest of all, she didn't feel like she was.

"Do I know you?"

The voice made Scully jump and instinctively she held the postcard behind her back.

"I'm sorry?" she asked, trying to keep her tone as calm as possible whilst blood pulsed in her ears.

A man, who looked to be in his late forties, had appeared behind the counter with his brow furrowed in concentration and his sight set on her. He rubbed his chin contemplatively. "I know you. You are American, no?"

Scully stuttered, unsure of how to answer. "No, I– I don't–"

"Yes!" he interrupted her. His smile grew with his enthusiasm, unnerving Scully more by the second. "I see you before somewhere, on the television perhaps?"

"I'm sorry, I have to go."

Scully left some money on the counter and swiftly weaved back through the aisles. At a brief glance, she plucked a random box of hair dye from a shelf, self-conscious of her entire appearance. If she had to, she would scrub down her skin until she looked like someone else, but first, she had to get out.

The man behind the counter clicked his fingers in recognition. «¡Ah! ¡Cops! ¡Y el hombre lobo con el FBI!» he laughed and shook his head.

Mulder saw Scully burst out of the shop, arms laden with groceries and an expression he couldn't fathom. She crumpled into the passenger seat, quickly stuffing the things into the footwell. "You'd be no good in a robbery," she quipped.

"Scully, what's wrong?" he immediately asked.

She gave him her usual answer, passing him a cereal bar and his seeds. "I'm fine. Let's just get out of here."

Mulder took the food and started the engine, driving away despite the uncomfortable feeling that told him she was hiding something. He didn't want to press her further though, so he bit his tongue and focused on the road.

After a couple of minutes, Scully turned to him, worrying her lip between her teeth. She relented, speaking softly. "There was someone in there, Mulder, he recognised me."

Mulder let go of a breath that he didn't know he was holding, relieved that she had finally said something. "Are you sure? I mean they couldn't have been mistaking you for someone else?"

She shook her head, doubting herself already. "I don't know, he said he'd seen me on TV. Mulder, what if they have our pictures out on the news?"

"I don't think they'd do that. They don't want to draw unnecessary attention to themselves," he reasoned.

"But they could dress it up as something else. Get the unsuspecting populous to do their dirty work without telling them who or why. Mulder, seriously, how haven't we been caught yet?"

"Don't know, but I'm not going to question it either."

"But don't you think it's strange that if they really wanted to find us they could have easily done so already?" She looked at his profile, judging the minute movements of his jaw muscles, saw them flex unconsciously as they did whenever he was forced to admit a hard truth.

"Perhaps we're not as important as they would have us believe," he tried, glancing at her for reassurance. "Maybe they're busy developing a vaccine or ordering their super soldiers into neat, indestructible lines. Everyone's got bigger aliens to fry." He chuckled perfunctorily.

"Mulder, they were determined enough to kill you that they rigged your trial," Scully turned to gaze at the roadside zipping past and said quieter, "I think there's something bigger at play here."

Mulder properly laughed and she stared at him with a frown stitched upon her brow.

"You're doing a very good impression of me, Scully," he chortled.

She smiled despite herself, trying to hide it in a dip of her head. She hummed, having to agree. Maybe she was being paranoid, maybe she should be. The little Mulder voice played in her head, It's not paranoia if they're really out to get you. Shifting in her seat, Scully scuffed her feet on the box of hair dye in the footwell. She was reminded of the haunting feeling of being reeled into the snare, the need to change shape and escape. I see you before on the television.

"Could we find a motel tonight?" she asked warily, cognizant of the contradiction to her previous argument.

"Yeah, sure." He reached out for her hand, lacing her fingers with his.  "You sure you're okay?"

"Yes," she smiled. "I'm fine."

----------

Scully stood behind Mulder at the front desk, listening vaguely to him trying to communicate to the owner of the motel. She stared out of the window at the fading light, smiling as she clutched their only bag of belongings. Resting her cheek to Mulder's shoulder, she heard the muffled sound of his broken Spanish.

«Uno habitación. Uno err noche,» he stuttered earnestly.

She chuckled, remembering of all the times they had booked two rooms just to keep up appearances and Human Resources of their backs. It wasn't that both rooms never got used, more the connecting door left open was an invitation too tempting to resist taking. Mostly, she relished the frequent nights he had slipped into her bed under the cover of darkness and fallen asleep curled around her.

«¿Te gustaría una o dos camas?» The man nodded towards Scully and she smiled politely.

«¿Excusa?»

«¿Una cama o dos?» the man repeated.

«Una cama por favor, señor,» Scully answered.

Mulder muttered, "Feel free to save me from looking like an ass any time."

"I was enjoying listening to you butcher a beautiful language," she teased.

As soon as Mulder was through the door, he flopped onto the bed and sighed contentedly. "One day, Scully, we'll have a place of our own and I will never sleep on a couch again."

She eyed him suspiciously as she rummaged through their bag. Was this where he thought this was going? The end goal a house out in the country with a little wooden porch and surrounded by fields to play baseball in? She tried to imagine it, sitting on the porch, drinking ice tea on a sunny day, a good book and Mulder for company. A cozy log fire crackling in the stone fireplace on long winter evenings. She sometimes thought about the fairy-tale ending but she couldn't imagine herself in that story. Somehow, Scully was always on the outside looking in.

Clutching the box of hair dye behind her back, she stood purposefully. "I'm going to use the bathroom."

Mulder followed her with his head until the door clicked shut behind her. Hearing the water run in the en-suite, he turned over on his side. The creaking of the pipes was oddly comforting and he closed his eyes to it. The mechanical lullaby was, however, annoying enough to keep him from drifting off even though it was the first time he'd laid his head down on a pillow in a month.

A month– Scully was counting. Every day he had woken up next to her and gazed into her clear, blue eyes, she had been counting. He now understood half of what had been wearing her thin, forcing her to guard herself as he'd forged ahead to try and break through. Maybe now was not the best time to pick at her walls. Instead, he promised to find a small window and let in some light. He lay flat on his back, exhausted, and rubbed his hands down his face. Maybe he shouldn't find a window. What if he did find one and somehow manage to block the light out against his own intentions? Perhaps all she needed was space and time to heal. Time away from him and pain he brought with his existence. It was so hard to know what to do when she didn't speak to him. Not about the important things; the things that truly mattered. Not that either of them had been very good at it in the past. It had only ever been drips of conversation at a time, providing a Petri dish for overthinking and false assumptions and doubt. Things that built up like a damn over time until the structure burst and it all came flooding out at once. He didn't want to lose Scully and he didn't want her to get lost.

Restless, he turned onto his other side.

Emily's little face peered up at him from over the side of the bed.

"Jeez, Em," Mulder laughed nervously. "You scared me."

Her young face, too innocent still to be morose, hung dejectedly before him. Her eyes were wide, almost tearful, trying to tell him something he wished he could understand.

"Emily, what is it?"

She simply padded over to the bathroom door and pointed.

"Dana," he breathed, rushing onto his feet and knocking on the door. "Scully? You okay in there?" he called urgently.

"It's open," she replied and he noticed how she avoided his question. Turning the handily delicately, as if he was intruding, Mulder opened the door ajar and peered inside.

"Scully?"

Her t-shirt was crumpled on the floor with a towel next to the bathtub. She had her head hung over the ledge, damp tresses of hair dangling before her face. Various bottles from a box were scattered around in an unorganised mess that was so unlike her.

"If you need to use the toilet, just be quick," she said.

He cleared a path and kneeled down beside her. "Scully, what are you doing?"

Scully turned her head to look at him, dragging her tongue across her top lip in a condescending manner. "Mulder, what does it look like I'm doing?"

"Is this why you wanted to stay in a motel tonight?"

"Does it matter?"

He carefully reached for her hands, untangling them from the ribbons of her once red hair. "Of course it matters. Why didn't you tell me?"

She looked down at their hands. "Am I obligated to tell you everything, Mulder?" she quizzed, returning her gaze to him as she uttered his name.

"No," he searched her eyes for some meaning, but it was hidden away in some depth he couldn't swim to. "But you hardly tell me anything anymore. I think I see a glimmer of what you keep locked away in your heart, but I don't know if it's just a smokescreen, Scully, I can't tell."

She pulled her hands away, combing her fingers through her hair again. "I would never lie to you, Mulder," she said candidly.

"That's not what I said."

Huffing, she stopped, resting her arms over the rim of the bath and giving him her full attention. "Then what are you saying?"

He didn't know. He'd lost sight of his thoughts when he'd seen her troubled; only ever her in mind. He paused, taking a breath. "Why do you need to change yourself?" he uttered softly.

"I'm not changing myself, I'm just dying my hair. It's nothing new or special."

"Why now? Why so suddenly?"

She stared at him in disbelief. "I told you: someone recognised me. I can't just shrug that off like it didn't happen because it did. This is our reality, Mulder, we can't wander through it blindly an– and just hope we'll make it out alive!"

She caught her breath, taken off guard by her own sudden outburst. Licking her lip, she composed herself, affecting an even tone. "I'm not shutting you out, Mulder, if you'd just listen..."

He watched her silently, absorbing her words. Eventually, he nodded timidly. "Let me help then," he whispered.

"No, I'm fine," she brushed him off.

But he refused to lose her. "Scully, let me help."

She sighed, giving in. Snapping of the rubber gloves, she handed him the pair: they had been too large for her hands anyway. "I've died my hair before, but this is bleach, and all the instructions are in Spanish," she admitted.

"I think you're doing fine, Scully," he smiled, rubbing the mixture from the tips all the way to the roots of her hair. Once he'd checked everywhere was covered, he sat with her, waiting patiently by her side until it needed to be washed out. Grabbing the showerhead, he made sure that the water temperature wasn't too hot and massaged her scalp. Scully hummed in appreciation as the warm water cascaded over her head and his fingers worked their magic.

"Do you think I should bleach my hair too?" he asked, partly to make her laugh and partly because he knew that she was right: this was their reality. And she did laugh: the shaking of her shoulders accompanied by a small chuckle made him sigh in relief.

"What's so funny?" he teased. "Would I not look cool with bleach blond hair? I could take up surfing."

Laughing again, Scully elbowed him playfully, making the shower spray everywhere. Her giggle was a welcome sound for sore ears, breathing life back into the empty silence that had followed the burst of the damn.

He turned off the water and handed her the towel. She sat on the ledge of the tub, patting carefully at her now blonde hair, eyeing the alien colour curiously. Mulder grabbed another towel and started on her other side, drying her hair with just as much care. He seriously thought about how he should change his appearance, although he didn't want to. He didn't want to look in the mirror and see someone else's reflection staring back, his own image lost and forgotten. Seeing Scully now, she didn't look like the same person he had known for nine years. The blonde brought out the ice in her blue eyes; her stares once hot like fire now cold and hard. He knew it was just a costume to wear; an act to play, but he feared it becoming a warped version of reality. He should find his own costume to don too; if not becoming the obnoxious surfer-dude type, then what other outfit should he assume? Mulder doubted novelty glasses with the big nose and moustache would cut it, not least because he already wore reading glasses and his nose– well...

Absentmindedly, he asked, "What if I grow a beard?"

Scully turned suddenly serious. Her icy, blue eyes, still fiery, melted his heart.

"Don't," she said definitively and pulled him into a searing kiss. Her fingers curled through the hair at the nape of his neck, dropping the towel and bringing him closer. She felt a well of hunger for him build in her like she'd been starved of his touch.

His hands traveled from her sides, down around the shape of her thighs, lifting her from her perch on the bathtub. He pulled her body into his, pressing them together, all the while she stole his lips with fever. With his hands under her ass and her legs wrapped around his waist, Mulder maneuvered them towards the bedroom.

"No. Here," she breathed.

"Dana–"

She rested her forehead again at his. "Please."

Mulder turned around and placed Scully on the corner of the sink unit. Grinding softly into her, he traced a hand up to cup her jaw, locking lips reverently. She tightened her grip, pulling him closer at the hips and binding her ankles behind his legs. She sucked his full bottom lip, ripe and refreshing like a plump summer fruit, biting it and soothing it with a swipe of her tongue. He hissed when she continued down his neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses and lovebites until she reached the neckline of his t-shirt. Impatiently, she tugged at it and set him free, dropping it by his feet.

Her hands wandered his torso. It was softer than before, leaner and less muscular. There was still tension in his muscles, a defined shape to them, but she could feel the difference. She reached the waist of his jeans, slipping her hands down further, but Mulder grabbed her wrists, making her look up at him. When Scully saw into his eyes, she understood that he wanted to slow down, but there was a fire unfurling through her, setting her body alight and cultivating an insatiable thirst. The last time they had taken things slow, she'd had too much time to think, and she didn't want to think: just feel.

The moment passed between them, eyes locked onto one another, their telepathy flying with the sparks.

Mulder tenderly let go of her wrists and cupped her cheek, brushing his thumb across the rose flush that tinted it. Scully sighed, leaning into his hand and placing her own on top. He bent down to capture a kiss, his lips soft yet firm with resolution. She responded in kind, opening up to the taste of his tongue, of desperation, of hope, of the sunflower seeds he cracked between his teeth all day. Her fingers wound around his hand, bringing it from her cheek to her hip. She slipped down off the cabinet and he unbuttoned her pants. They fell to the floor with a rumpling sound that seemed to echo off of the tiled walls. She stepped out of them, climbing on top of the unit, tugging him between her legs. A second rumpling of jeans and he was buried inside of her, clutching her closely.

He began to move leisurely, kissing her with indulgence. But his body was strung like an archer's bow, taut with resistance, holding something back. Scully moved against him insistently, one hand scratching at his shoulder, the other twined through his hair. She kissed him like a diver plunging into deep waters; the taste of exploration too sweet not to bite.

"Faster," she pleaded in his ear.

Mulder complied, giving in, releasing built-up tension with the snap of his hips forward. In quick and jarring thrusts he drove into her until it was too much and she came with a gasp, collapsing into his chest. Time seemed to slow. The pulsation of where they were joined throbbed up through him to his ears and pounded through his chest. He heard every lungful of air he took; every small, panting breath Scully puffed. Every plunge pushed him further until he too, gasping for air, broke the surface, floating euphorically on the waves of the ocean.

An indeterminate amount of time later, when it was moving at roughly the normal speed again, Mulder lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling with his arm outstretched and Scully's head resting on it. She was drawing aimless patterns around the scar tissue of where she had shot him. Moby had been rescued from their bag of belongings and the white whale was snuggled in the space between them. Everything should have felt easy.

"Scully..."

"Yes?"

"I– I..." He thought of Emily's face staring up at him. He wanted– needed to tell her about the hallucinations that haunted him but he didn't know if he could place that kind of burden on her. He shuffled onto his side and watched her watch him back. He was about to open his mouth when he saw Emily sat on the bed behind Scully, frantically shaking her head. He itched to make Scully turn over and see for herself the impossible. But there was something in that little girl's eyes, so like her mother's, that made him think of Scully first: how angry she would be if he said he could see her; how broken she would be if she saw her for herself.

"Why did you get those sunflower seeds?" he eventually fabricated to fill the silence, bottling his ghosts up and burying them for another time.

"What?" she asked, understandably bewildered.

Ignoring the nagging feeling that he was walking down the wrong path, aware it was still early enough to go back, Mulder sighed and continued, "You didn't have to get them, so I just wondered why you did."

"Because you like them and I saw them." She leaned away from him, questioning him and trying to gauge what was running through his mind. "Did you not want them?"

"No, it's not that. I wasn't expecting it– I didn't ask you to get them..." he continued to ramble.

She silenced him with a kiss, smiling. "You didn't have to."

When Scully pulled away from him, Emily had disappeared and he wondered why at all he was taking advice from his own deluded mind. Mulder looked up at the ceiling again. There were things he needed to get off of his chest, but Emily was right, even if she was only an apparition or a figment: he couldn't tell Scully, not at the moment. Maybe sometime in the future when the moment was right. Yet the longer he left it, the harder it would be to explain what was happening– to explain why it had taken so long to confide in her. The longer he left it, the harder it pressed against his chest; another weight to carry around. The harder it pressed, the more it weighed on his mind; another thought to worry about. The more he thought about it, the harder it pressed against his chest. It was like something inside him wanted to scream when he reflected upon it. So, he didn't. Instead, he pulled Scully closer and lost himself curled around her. Her warm skin against his own grounded him; her scent wrapped itself around him and tied him down. He focused on her breathing, matching his own to the same pattern until he was made up of a tiny piece of Scully that kept him sane and whole.

"Mulder," she mumbled. "Are you okay?"

"Shh, it's nothing," he whispered. He stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. "Try and get some sleep."

#my fic #msr #on the run #fox mulder #dana scully #maybe there's hope #the x files #xf fanfic

[nadziejastar]

How do you think Axel would have been viewed if he was a woman, but otherwise written exactly the same?

I think a female Lea (Leah?) would have been very popular. She’d be a breath of fresh air considering how stereotypical most female characters are. She’d have as many fanboys as Lea does fangirls. I don’t think she would have been shipped with Roxas as much, though. I just don’t think it would have been as popular if it weren’t a yaoi pair with an uke and seme. If anything, I think people would have assumed she was a lesbian, lol. But that’s just my speculation. I think her relationship with Saix would have been far more acceptable to see as romantic if she’d been female, whether Saix was male or female. Female/Female relationships are just more socially acceptable. If Axel had been a girl, I’d still like her with Isa.

Lea the Crybaby

“Even if we don’t see each other, it’s more important that we think about each other all the time, anyway, right? …Got it memorized?”

Roxas grinned. “It doesn’t suit you, saying things like that.”

Those words were meant to make them feel better, but… if I went into that, I’d look weak. “Shaddap,” said Axel, looking away.

Xion laughed. Roxas found it funny too, and he started to laugh.

“Is it that funny?!” Axel asked almost unconsciously.

Roxas and Xion stopped laughing for a moment, but when they looked at each other, they burst out laughing again.

If Axel had been a girl, he wouldn’t have to be written or perceived any differently. I don’t think there’s anything about his personality that couldn’t have been possible in a female character. Heck, I think many aspects of him would have been more accepted as a female character. If he were female, he would have been perceived differently, though. 

And because of that, he wouldn’t have been robbed of all his emotional depth in KH3. As a Nobody, Axel had balls of steel. He smiled even as he was disappearing. He always smiled through the worst pain. He was a total hardass. It’s a big reason why he became so popular. Most of the male fans I know in real life liked Axel because he was a total badass in Castle Oblivion. And he was. He was cold and ruthless and COOL. All of that is fine in female characters, too.

“I want everybody I meet to remember me. Inside people’s memories, I can live forever.”

“I know I won’t forget you. Believe me, I try all the time,” Isa replied with a bit of humor in his tone.

“See? I’m immortal!”

“You’re obnoxious.”

But Axel was not naturally cold and badass. He became that way because he was VERY sensitive. He was a very multi-dimensional character. You can especially see it in the novels. He was so softhearted that he became desensitized to pain. That’s how he was able to smile all the time. In BBS, you can see he’s not really “badass”. He’s a huge dork that gets teased by Isa. I’ve seen some fans (mostly male) dislike the direction they took him in Days and BBS because he seemed too nice. But that’s the real Lea. A kindhearted, lovable, childish dork.

On the sofa opposite him, Naminé spoke up instead. “Sora and Riku are best friends.”

Axel’s eyes crinkled as he remembered his own best friend—the only friend he’d ever had, in fact.

“If your best friend goes away, you’re sad, and if you get to be with them, you’re happy,” Naminé added. “Isn’t that how it is, Axel?”

“…That’s about the size of it.” Axel nodded and sat down on the remaining empty sofa, staring at the sea-salt ice cream he held.

“So you are capable of sincerity,” said Riku.

Axel only shrugged at the jab and finished his ice cream pop.

I think Axel became more flat and was reduced to mainly comic relief in KH3 specifically because the KH3 team was afraid of the backlash they might receive if they did what they were originally gonna do with him. The were scared to go all the way and take his story to its natural conclusion because he’s male. Probably because it would change the way people perceived him. He’s not really as cool and badass as people thought. If he had been female, this side of his personality would have been embraced. But as a male, it was much more difficult to pull off, and ultimately, Square was too cowardly to do it.

He’d never deluded himself that tracking down Riku would be easy, and neither had Saïx. It was just that if he went back and reported that he couldn’t find anything, he would have to deal with those attempts at “personality”—the sneers, the snide remarks, the only trappings of human emotion that Saïx ever showed. Not that Saïx was even capable of annoyance or disappointment, of course, what with the lack of a heart and all.

Heading up the slope to the station, Axel bit into the ice cream bar. “This stuff is so salty,” he murmured to himself, as he often did.

Axel was a very deep character. He had many sides. Kanemaki was a writer on Days and I think she had a lot to do with how fleshed out he became. Due to his trauma, he appeared to be very stoic and other times very carefree. But deep down, he was very vulnerable. He hated showing it. He hated it when people saw him cry. He hid his feelings very well. Roxas and Xion never saw the emotional side of him. And many fans didn’t either. Axel was still smiling the last time he saw Roxas in person, when he said let’s meet again in the next life. He only cried for the first time in KH2FM. The scene didn’t go too far. It was ambiguous if Roxas could even tell Axel was crying. Axel never allowed himself to showed true vulnerability with Roxas.

“Let’s meet again in the next life.”

At those words spoken with just a hint of a smile, Roxas nodded quietly.

“Yeah. I’ll be waiting.”

There was something funny about Roxas’ serious answer, and Axel laughed.

Same with Kairi. And that was the problem. Axel/Lea was more emotional in KH3. He had a heart, so it’s only natural. He cried with Kairi, but ran away afterwards. When he reunited Roxas and Xion, he cried again. But IMO, that wasn’t the catharsis he really needed. He was still bottling a lot of strong feelings up. He never has a scene where he has to confront his emotional baggage and deal with it. He never had to deal with the fact that he was using Roxas as an emotional crutch for much deeper issues.

Then someone else spoke behind him. “I’ve been waiting for you, Axel.”

“Yeah, I figured you’d show up.” His smirk turned nastier as he turned to see Saïx. He didn’t take his eyes off the other man as he spoke to the girl in the cage.

His final fight was robbed of almost all emotion. It didn’t feel like he had anything to fight for. He lacked passion or a strong purpose. Look how many people say that Lea shouldn’t have even gotten a Keyblade. The fight wasn’t for Axel and Saix to finally settle their issues. It felt more like Roxas and Xion were the stars. Then the stupid Subject X crap was shoehorned in. 

Lea is mostly known in KH3 for having a few quips where he breaks the fourth wall. His humor was allowed to be played up as much as possible. But, he wasn’t allowed much genuine emotion. Despite having a heart, he felt more hollow than ever in many ways. His reunion with Roxas and Xion was…cute? I guess? To me it felt forced. Lea still acted kinda “meh”. Roxas and Xion were crying, and he was still trying to play it cool. He was never allowed to take his mask off. He still never had true a moment of emotional catharsis.

You’re ultimately still a crybaby, but you don’t need the marks anymore.

The truth is, Lea needed a resolution where he wasn’t forced into the cool and aloof big brother role. It’s why the Roxas and Xion reunion didn’t provide any closure to his character arc. Lea wasn’t really aloof, like he acted on Day 96. He was super emotional. He needed someone to be truly 100% vulnerable with. The only character to know that side of Lea was Isa. And it’s obvious that “Lea the crybaby” is something that revolved around his relationship with Isa more than anyone. It’s mentioned in Isa’s Character File story.

The sunset stung my eyes. I’ve been a bit of a crybaby lately. I wonder if it’s because the upside-down tear charm is gone.

And also Lea’s Character File story called “I Will Not Forget You”. His character arc in KH3 was “resolved” by hastily reuniting with Roxas and Xion and “working it out” with Saix. But…it really wasn’t resolved at all.

Axel suddenly broke his silence. “Well, even if things change, we’ll never be apart—”

“—As long as we remember one another,” Xion finished. “Right?”

The day the ‘Winner’ stick was finally mentioned, it’s called “Sunset” and Axel told them they’d never be apart. He was acting like nothing was wrong, even though he knew there was barely any time left for them to be together. He never let Roxas and Xion know how sentimental he was. On Xion’s “Day 6″ she disappeared. It was called “Tears”. That’s the day Axel finds the white envelope with the stick in it.

Maybe, this is the last time I’ll see Saix, too.

Thinking, Axel looked at the seated Saix’s back. “We’ve known each other for a pretty long time, haven’t we?”

Ignoring Axel’s words, Saix continued typing on the keyboard.

“Say something. Have you even thought that maybe I can’t erase Roxas?” Axel said, in a playful tone, and Saix finally looked up. “It’ll be all right. ‘Cause I’m tough.” Axel puffed out his chest.

“How stupid,” said Saix, and for a moment he smiled. “Let’s hurry up and prepare. Time is limited. The hero will wake up soon, too. I’ll send you in right in front of Roxas.”

“Okay.”

Axel stood in front of the sending device. Saix rested his finger on the button.

“I’m off the~n!” Waving to Saix, Axel’s figure disappeared.

On Roxas’s “Day 6″, Axel had a very emotional exchange with Saix after looking at the white envelope. He was bonding with Saix just before he attempted to eliminate Roxas. He joked with Saix about it. That sends a very powerful message about the nature of Axel’s feelings for Saix. Axel was emotionally dependent on him. Saix thought Axel didn’t need him anymore, but that simply wasn’t true. He did. It’s obvious to me that the ‘Winner’ stick was meaningful to Axel due to his relationship with Isa more than anyone. That stick was a symbol of Lea’s tears. Yet…it was never even mentioned in KH3. Saix only briefly glanced at it just before he mentioned that Axel’s tear marks were gone. The rest is left to your imagination. 

“Oh, c’mon, it’s not that funny!” Axel scolded.

They paused, looked at each other, and giggled again.

“I don’t know why I put up with this…”

“But, I mean…it just didn’t sound like you, Axel.” Xion could barely hold in laughter long enough to get the words out.

A wish that they could always be together—was longing for the impossible. But at least they could always remember one another.

I think it was hinting that Isa originally given him that stick. It was probably so Lea would always remember him, even when he was gone. Lea cried that day. A LOT. Just like Roxas finally shed tears when Xion was gone, leaving behind nothing but the shell. Lea’s feelings for Isa were as powerful as Roxas’s feelings for Xion. 

Axel became numb by the time he became a Nobody. Then he started to grow a heart again. That’s what his entire arc in Days was about. These extremely powerful feelings for Isa got totally ignored in KH3, though. Changing Lea’s arc with Isa robbed him of all his emotional depth. It really, truly did. It hurt his character SO much. Lea had nobody to be vulnerable with. Most people could tell Axel/Lea was handled poorly in KH3, even if they weren’t not sure what exactly was missing.

I chose to disappear because I did not want to become what Xemnas had planned for me. Therefore, I had no regrets. I remember disappearing in front of the clock tower while Roxas held me. Roxas also went to sleep afterwards, leaving Axel alone. The person who probably suffered the most was Axel. Because he’s the one who forgot the most. Being forgotten and forgetting, they’re both painful.

What was missing was genuine emotion and vulnerability. Lea’s resolution in KH3 needed to be emotional. WAAAAY more emotional than a quick hug with Roxas and Xion, then going back to being comic relief and breaking the fourth wall. He needed to bawl his eyes out. Even in Xion’s Character File, she said he had more pain than her or Roxas. He needed to finally drop his cool big brother exterior and show his pain. Isa needed to be the one to comfort the “crybaby” and let him know he never forgot about him.

Lea needed a lot more from Isa than just him grudgingly admitting he was jealous and dismissively telling him to stop crying. Lea needed a shoulder to cry on. Someone he could show his weakness to. That’s something Roxas and Xion could not offer him. Without that, his character did not really grow in KH3. He remained the same as he was in Days. Static.

I think the whole idea of Lea’s character was changed because it was too “gay”. Square/Disney we’re afraid of a character like Lea. A male character with a powerful emotional arc revolving around the tears he shed for another man. The story of Axel tear drops got dropped like a hot potato in favor of some stupid retcon with Skuld. If Axel had been female, nobody would care about the subplot with Subject X. Everyone would have been clamoring for more details about how and why she got her tear marks.

#akusai #leaisa #kh lea #kh axel

[goadapter-blog]

The Samsung XE500C13 Review

The Samsung XE500C13 is a excellent small notebook for the two faculty and enjoyment,particularly for youthful young ones and regular vacationers.This eleven.6-inch notebook don't just features an incredible monitor and nearly 10 several hours of battery lifestyle but also arrives with 4GB of RAM,and that means you can count on reliable performance.Created for the curious people who would like to zip by World-wide-web searching,the new Chromebook passes as what we have usually needed Google to deliver all along; a svelte,very affordable and moveable technique to hop on the net.We have reviewed some before styles that have value upwards of regular laptops,leaving a bitter style amongst a lot of users who have felt ripped off at the limits of Chrome OS.Should you be seeking to carry out a great deal more than surf the world wide web and bask in cloud-based information creation,then this isn't the notebook to suit your needs.But,in case you are searching for an affordable solution with much much better content-creation operation - like,an built-in keyboard - then The Samsung XE500C13 is definitely an desirable solution.It is additionally a great offer msi gt72 2pe accu much less expensive than most Chromebooks we have reviewed,drawing it the closest any Chromebook has come to assembly Google's preliminary target of advertising the Chromebook affordably,than even a smartphone.And since its 32GB of storage is not taken up by Home windows ten,you'll find a lot of onboard storage for the particular data files.With the value,The Samsung XE500C13 is the ideal Chromebook for those on the price range.

Design

The Samsung XE500C13 may well be affordable,as Google expected,however the design and style won't really feel low-priced.Its light-weight plastic development might not be lavish to match the newest crop of ultraportables,but its durable,and its spill-resistant layout will suffice for students medion s2217 oplader and writers alike.The eleven.6-inch exhibit has a similar 1366-by-768 resolution,which is precisely the same seen on both of those MacBook Air as well as Microsoft Floor; whilst you could should limit your side-by-side multitasking,retaining in your mind that Chrome has often favored tabs in any case.This factor stays skinny,extremely skinny nonetheless it packs components similar to a netbook.The truth is usually that it will not really suit into any of such groups fully,however it slices its niche in-between inexpensive and portable laptops.At only 2.five kilos,the Samsung XE500C13 is extremely portable,when providing a big ample display screen and keyboard that you could easily use devoid of feeling hemmed.Despite having the slender construct and entire absence of cooling fans,the system didn't get insanely warm throughout our exams.Over the Samsung XE500C13 is a full-size QWERTY keyboard,although Google have tweaked in a very way that its optimized for that Web-based chrome experience.It does not use a standard keyboard.For example,instead of the Caps Lock key,there is a focused research button,though the F1-F12 keys have already been replaced by Chrome-specific functionality keys.The Delete essential has also vanished,together with the Backspace important now performing double responsibility.As envisioned,the equal of Windows or Apple Secret's absent.The trackpad lg e2242c oplader is simply a single-piece,having a blank confront,which does not consist of the same old right- and left -click buttons,alternatively you've got one particular touchable clickable touchpad that supports one- and two -finger gestures.

Typing over the Samsung XE500C13's spill-resistant keyboard feels relaxed,as its keys are ever-so-slightly curved to fit your fingertips and maintain your fingers oplader asus adp 33aw oriented.The keys are very well sized and choose complete benefit of the width in the device,which happens to be good news for those with even bigger fingers.Both the Samsung XE500C13 plus the Stream eleven have one.two millimeters of important vacation,but it really can take sixty three grams of pressure to actuate a vital over the Samsung XE500C13,as opposed to sixty nine grams over the Stream eleven.When i took the 10FastFingers.com typing examination,I scored seventy six terms per minute having a nine % mistake rate.That's only a contact slower and fewer precise than my usual eighty wpm and seven percent mistake amount on my Microsoft Surface Professional 4's Type Address.My largest gripe together with the Samsung XE500C13's keyboard is its structure.I wish there have been extra length among the facility button along with the relaxation of your keyboard.Mainly because the Backspace secret is just under the facility crucial,you happen to be just an accidental keystroke from unintentionally shutting down the device.I also want the facility vital had an indicator light to enable me know how very long to push the button to turn within the device.At three.9 x 2.two inches,the Samsung XE500C13's touchpad is generous for an 11-inch machine.The material lg pa-1650-64 oplader of your touchpad feels awesome and sleek,like its palm relaxation.It is also extremely delicate,so we propose evenly tapping the surface area to navigate the product.

Features

This Samsung xe500c13 critique highlights essentially the most defining facet: components affordability,the special keyboard,along with the Chrome OS.This unit is designed for internet browsing.Loving the Chrome Web-browser practical experience on other platforms Then this Google's web-centric OS system will blow you absent! It arrives with web-apps which might be built-in with unrivaled offline functionalities.With the reduced still left corner,there's a list of dedicated icons.They consist of Google look for,Gmail,YouTube,and Google Push.It's got simple applications for instance the Chrome file sony acdp 100d01 oplader supervisor,calendar,and calculator among many others.Your peripheral device management encounter is unparalleled: at the time an SD or USB flash drive is plugged in,the content material pops up making it uncomplicated in your case to select the best files.Photos,documents,and documents are opened employing an auto-detected file opener.The ports choice is robust.It will come using an HDMI port,one particular USB 3.0 in addition to a USB two.0 port,headphone accu dell inspiron 17 5767 and microphone jack,digital camera,and card reader.It's built-in 802.11ac WLAN,Bluetooth and LAN connections.Its inside memory is 16GB because it really is cloud-based.When addressing an ultraportable system,ordinarily you would assume to get rid of quite a few capabilities.Obviously there is certainly no space for your DVD push,but by using a Chromebook you just do not will need just one in any case.It's not missing in other connectivity selections and ports having said that,with two USB ports,an SD card slot,an HDMI port,and an audio jack for headphones.Talking of headphones,you are going to unquestionably want to spend money on all those,due to the fact the built-in speakers are quite minimal top quality.That's an additional concession you just have to deal with due for the really lower cost.Not merely would be the speakers of somewhat sub-par good quality normally,but they also facial area downwards and so are positioned about the bottom in the chassis.Meaning you'll get muted audio regardless of whether you established the system over a table or put it with your lap.The place the Chromebook fails oplader microsoft area pro 4 within the audio aspect,it totally excels in terms of battery lifetime,and that is probably the only biggest attract to this funds design.Samsung has the Samsung XE500C13 rated for approximately 11 several hours,but most end users are possible to check out a lot more within the 9 to 10 range.That is however exceptionally remarkable for just a mobile system however,considering the fact that you are able to run this Chromebook all day long devoid of needing to search out an ability outlet.No matter if you utilize it in your house,the office environment,or college,you can rely on this product to keep likely irrespective of how long you might be web searching or utilizing Android apps.Obviously,you furthermore may obtain a regular lenovo u430 accu 720p webcam positioned over the screen.The cam's top quality isn't really going to earn any awards,but it gets the job performed if you prefer to Skype your friends and family over a normal basis.

Performance

The Samsung XE500C13 is driven by an Intel Celeron N3050 processor.Surely not the speediest,this CPU incorporates a clock pace variety between 1.six and 2.fourteen GHz,a cache dimensions of 2 megabytes and two physical cores.If that does not show you significantly,the benchmarks will: the N3050 scores all around 900 factors on cpubenchmark.web.That is a reduced score,there is no way to sugarcoat the actual fact that anything other that some multitasking will prove complicated to take care of.The fact that it operates Chrome OS is undoubtedly a good point,considering that program necessities dell p35e oplader are decreased and the devices are much better optimized for these low-end machines. It is really debatable whether or not the Samsung would have executed better by using a quad core processor in its place of the dual core set up,but since a lot of applications around the Play Store are reasonably perfectly believed out,I believe the difference may possibly also be negligible.As I mentioned before during this overview,the process memory asus a41n1611 accu for this design is rated at 4 gigabytes,which can be a major enhancement with the Chromebooks we are accustomed with,all getting just two gigabytes set up.All the things from world wide web applications to multitasking will operate smoother because from the additional RAM Samsung packed in there.Storage space is proscribed,as I am guaranteed you'd anticipate by now.The device arrives with 16 gigabytes of storage potential,plenty of to carry a good amount of money of information,photographs and whatnot,although not nearly near what anyone may possibly hope to need inside the long haul.Fortunately,Google offers each individual Chromebook with a hundred gigabytes of cost-free cloud storage.The sole downside is needing a web connection in order to upload and entry your documents on-line.Apart from that,I believe it is a very good offer and a reasonable compromise.How precisely is Samsung giving a 4GB program for such a small price tag  There are some main trade-offs manufactured to be aware of,since they could make or split your buying conclusion.To start with and most importantly - you can find no contact display functionality along with the screen here.For net searching and emailing that won't make any difference in any way,nonetheless it does lessen the usefulness of some Android apps.In addition to the normal display setup missing a contact selection,this product contains a much,considerably decrease resolution screen compared to the 1920 x 1080 that's getting to be a lot more normal on laptops nowadays.To generally be good,at this display medion s2015 oplader dimensions it won't make substantially of a difference even though.You do not seriously will need a brilliant superior resolution on an eleven inch Chromebook display screen,as that would typically just provide to create more compact text more durable to read through.To get a fundamental website searching device,a 1366 x 768 resolution display just isn't a deal breaker like it would be having a gaming notebook.Even at that reduced resolution,you can expect to however get respectable visuals oplader asus pa 1650 93 when streaming YouTube movies or Netflix exhibits within the 11 inch display.Regardless of the reduced resolution,Samsung managed to provide a drastically brighter exhibit below than you'll find with quite a few other related priced units,and non-black shades specifically really pop.You can find a single odd draw back for your scaled-down Chromebook,having said that.The monitor bezels are shockingly thick to get a product of the size,which additional lessens an currently little viewing spot.

Because The Samsung XE500C13 works by using Chrome OS,there is ample no cost area on its 32GB eMMc flash memory for your information.In contrast to Home windows 10-based techniques using the exact storage potential,the Samsung XE500C13 features above 20GB of free area right from the box,versus the measly nine.68GB readily available within the Lenovo Ideapad 100S-14.While this free house signifies you'll have sufficient area for the hottest OS updates and Chrome apps,you should nevertheless put money into a microSD card or make use of a cloud storage services for example Google Generate to store your photograph or tunes assortment.The underside on the Samsung XE500C13 receives a tad heat.After we streamed a Hd online video for fifteen minutes,its underside arrived at a troubling 105 levels Fahrenheit,which is a substantially better temperature than our 95-degree comfort and ease threshold.Nevertheless,it in no way felt scorching in my lap as a result of the insulating plastic chassis.The touchpad and keyboard had been significantly cooler,at 81 and ninety one levels,respectively.Often,not all college or university techniques that price significantly less have hidden general performance issues.The Samsung XE500C13 is usually a spending plan process that offers the brightest 11.6-inch exhibit in its class,robust functionality with 4GB memory and virtually 10 hours of battery life.It does reduce corners,having said that,like shoddy vital placement toshiba satellite c870 one hundred ninety accu and feeble speakers,and also the regular limits of Chrome OS.In case you actually need Windows and Microsoft Place of work,then,the HP Stream eleven provides much better price.However, if you don't head Chrome OS,this compact Samsung laptop is often a strong alternative,primarily for school learners and anybody who primarily surfs the net.The underside with the Samsung XE500C13 gets a bit warm.Soon after we streamed a Hd online video for 15 minutes,its underside achieved a troubling 105 degrees Fahrenheit,which is a significantly increased temperature than our 95-degree comfort and ease threshold.Nevertheless,it under no circumstances felt very hot in my lap because of the insulating plastic chassis.The touchpad and keyboard were being substantially cooler,at eighty one and 91 degrees,respectively.

Conclusion

The Samsung XE500C13 is overall a greater,more potent device when compared to the former era.It's more cost-effective,much more strength efficient,much more powerful,lighter,thinner and has a new-gen WLAN card.Samsung has finally decided to adhere to just what the Chromebook market desires:affordable,great solutions,especially soon after the popular achievement of Acer's Chromebooks,which had been considerably less costly than Samsung's.I do think this Chromebook is usually a ideal buy for young students,for those who want a backup product acer aspire m5 481tg accu or for many who want an affordable,trustworthy travel companion on which to transfer shots,publish emails,diaries and search the web although to the go.

[mikemortgage]

Peter Foster: Climate activists cheer corporate ‘carbon disclosures’ — and regular investors get burned

Last week, California utility PG&E filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection in the face of an estimated US$30 billion of possible liabilities related to the disastrous California wildfires in 2017 and 2018.

The climate crusaders of the mainstream media have been atwitter with claims that PG&E represents the “first climate bankruptcy.” That’s because PG&E’s power lines are believed to have sparked fires in dry vegetation, and that dryness was the result of an extreme drought due to climate change brought about by fossil-fuelled industrial society, and greedy, feckless oil companies. It’s a stretch.

That climate change is an existential threat to companies’ health has been a growing theme of the UN-based Climate Industry. The PG&E collapse will likely ramp up the already intense demands by climate activists for companies to confess that their business models fail adequately to reflect climate risk. Indeed PG&E has itself sought to blame climate change — that most nebulous and subversive of concepts —for its travails. But such a claim represents neither science nor policy guidance. It represents desperation.

One of the most prominent promoters of the disclosure of emissions and climate programmes is a London-based NGO named CDP (previously the Carbon Disclosure Project). But one problem for CDP’s credibility — and the whole notion that confessing to contrived carbon crimes is, as disclosure advocates claim, “just good business” — is that the now bankruptcy-threatened PG&E has been the very model of climate concern. CDP had dubbed it “one of the leading companies in the world when it comes to openly sharing public information on greenhouse gas emissions, emissions reduction targets, and the implications of climate change for its business.” Fat lot of good it seems to have done them.

Peter Foster: Another report reluctantly admits that ‘green’ energy is a disastrous flop

Peter Foster: No, governments didn’t create the oilsands industry. They’re crippling it

California’s devastating wildfires just brought one of America’s biggest utilities to its knees

CDP’s latest rankings note that PG&E’s climate score for 2018 is “forthcoming” (due to “methodological changes,” according to a CDP spokesperson), but the company’s filing is available online. “PG&E has a long history of taking action to combat climate change,” it declares. “Doing so is integral to our ongoing efforts to provide safe, reliable, affordable, and clean energy to customers. We remain focused on reducing our carbon footprint, advancing low-carbon policies for California and the nation, helping customers reduce their energy use with industry-leading tools and incentives, and addressing the need to adapt to changing climate conditions.”

Perhaps they should have concentrated more on trimming dead trees near transmission lines.

CDP claims that “By scoring businesses from A to D–, we take organizations on a journey through disclosure to awareness, management, and finally to leadership.” Unfortunately, PG&E found itself leading the way into burning forests, personal tragedy and a potential conflagration of its balance sheet.

PG&E ranked an “A minus” in 2017. If this disclosure ritual was meant to assure investors that PG&E was a sound investment, they were misled. Indeed, one wonders if a good lawyer might look at whether CDP is itself subject to legal action on that count.

Meanwhile, the last thing that PG&E’s stumble justifies is any redoubling of international climate conferences to conjure up more fake commitments. It is bordering on insanity to suggest that the way to deal with California wildfires is to force more solar panels on Burundi, windmills on Spain, or electric cars on China.

One of the successes of the Climate Industry has been to conflate all natural disasters or extreme weather with climate change — which is now conventionally taken to mean “catastrophic man-made climate change.” However, the notion that PG&E represents some kind of corporate climate tipping point is absurd. Businesses without sufficient insurance have been driven into bankruptcy by natural disasters since the Great Flood.

If climate bankruptcies are taken to include those caused by climate activism or perverse climate policies, then there are many companies in Alberta made bankrupt by the Climate Industry’s campaign to close off their expansion. And what about those alternative energy companies that went under when their subsidies were withdrawn? If Tesla fails, will it become the world’s largest “climate change bankruptcy”?

California has faced energy crises in the past based on flawed regulation and deregulation, and the success of environmentalists in bringing power plant construction to a halt. The state’s climate policies are considered the most “advanced” — that is, draconian and costly — in the U.S. Meanwhile PG&E has sought bankruptcy protection before as a result of perverse policies.

The state has also always been renowned for the size and scope of its natural disasters. There is no doubt that California’s wildfires in the past two years were the most deadly and destructive in the state’s history, but their deadliness and destructiveness were not primarily a function of their “unprecedented” size, but of the fact that more people have — with state and municipal approval — been building more valuable property in wildfire-prone areas. Ill-thought-out fire-suppression policies are also reckoned to have increased the incidence of larger fires.

PG&E has been obliged by the state to run power lines to these new or growing wildfire-prone neighbourhoods, thus increasing the possibility of lines coming into contact with dry wood and sparking a fire. Although PG&E has been trying to minimize these risks, they appear to have been the source of many of the blazes. The other key factor in PG&E’s need to seek bankruptcy protection is state laws that impose liability even where there has been no negligence.

Another false conclusion from this fiasco is that it justifies and requires corporations to line up for more monitoring of their emissions and climate programs, as CDP might have us believe.

But who and what exactly is the CDP?

The Carbon Disclosure Project was reportedly founded in 2000 with money from Rockefeller Philanthropy Advisors (CDP did not respond to questions about its founders, backers and past chairpersons), which is closely linked to forces that have been trying to close down the Alberta oilsands and which also supports initiatives such as the late Maurice Strong’s subversive Earth Charter. Carbon Disclosure’s clever founding concept was to drum up professed climate concern among big investors, who were already being softened up by radical NGO campaigns. In some cases — such as those of state-run or state-influenced pension funds — the institutions required no softening up.

CDP then began writing letters on behalf of these concerned investors to every public company on earth, starting with the 500 largest, demanding the disclosure of emissions and climate programs. It took bravery to refuse to sign up. No executive wanted to be screamed down as a climate denier. It has been suggested that companies were merely “erring on the side of caution.” They were actually erring on the side of hysteria.

The CDP isn’t a scientific organization. It has no political legitimacy (although it receives government money). Nobody gave it “social licence” except the big investors that allowed it to be their mouthpiece, and the companies that agree to be rated. Moreover, its fundamental rationale — that concern about the impact on corporations of climate change is driven by shareholders — is bogus.

While activist investors make lots of noise, and can proliferate climate resolutions at AGMs, average shareholders show little interest in applying pressure on directors to get out in front of the climate crusade.

Many companies have in fact resisted pressure to report their supposed climate risks. For example, “sustainable and responsible” activist investor Calvert Investments brought a motion to force Amazon to file with CDP, but the company resisted, with its shareholders’ support. Amazon said it did not believe that “preparing an ad hoc climate change report is an efficient use of time and resources.” Truly responsible investors might find it more useful to pass motions asking companies to stop wasting money filling in the CDP’s voluminous questionnaires.

Part of the genius of the CDP process is that it forces companies to address worst-case scenarios from the catalogue of allegedly impending climate catastrophe, and then elaborate what those might do to their business. It is a classic case of “begging the question”: not so much “When did you stop beating your wife (or husband)?” as “If you were to beat them, what sort of injuries do you think they might suffer?” Responses could then be included in a study claiming dramatic evidence of potential spousal abuse, which would be dutifully reported by the media.

Typical was a story about CDP’s 2018 rankings in last week’s Financial Post. It began: “Quebecor executives considering worst-case scenarios that could befall their business as a result of climate change suggest buried internet infrastructure could be at risk from rising sea levels. At Molson Coors Brewing Co., meanwhile, management is thinking about how they’ll make enough beer to meet consumer demand if competition heats up over scarce supplies of clean water.”

Not to fault the reporter, who indeed notes these “worst-case scenarios,” but it takes only a moment’s reflection to realize how ludicrous it would be for Molson Coors to be genuinely concerned about running out of water. But then you have to feed the questionnaire beast the alarmism it demands.

Meanwhile, it seems almost bizarre that Canadian petroleum companies should line up to be ranked for carbon crime by an organization that is part of an agenda designed to close them down. In this year’s rankings, Husky and Suncor scored “B”s. Enbridge and TransCanada scored “C”s. CNR and Encana sat bottom of the class with “D”s. Still, one encouraging sign is that last year both Exxon Mobil and its Canadian subsidiary, Imperial Oil, stopped reporting. CDP ranks such refusal under “F,” for failure.

A careful reading of submissions indicates that many companies see the most significant threat not from climate change but from climate-change policy. Loblaw’s filing notes the obvious potential of damage from fires and floods, but also reports that the “the Quebec Cap and Trade Regulation increases our energy costs… Carbon taxes on fuel and energy will have a direct impact on our business activity costs and also indirectly increase cost from our suppliers of services and goods.”

PG&E was facing no shortage of climate-change policy risks itself. It has to comply with California’s Renewable Portfolio Standard, which requires the company to increase renewable energy to 33 per cent of its total sales by the end of 2020, and 50 per cent by 2030. It is increasingly obvious that the more wind and solar any system uses, the less reliable that system becomes, thus potentially greatly increasing costs, which PG&E acknowledges. According to the company’s 2018 climate filing, the cost of managing regulatory risks, compliance, and renewable energy procurement was a stunning US$2.4 billion. The company also notes the potentially high costs of California’s cap and trade system (to which that of Quebec is linked).

The CDP has inevitably expanded its bureaucratic tentacles into assessments of water and forestry too, and into the conflicted business of consulting for those it ranks. It also identifies a great swath of ranked companies as financial “supporters” or “premium supporters.” (That’s on top of the fees CDP charges to be an investor partner or a ranked company).

PG&E, meanwhile, now has few friends in state governments or courts, or among the general public. Emerging from bankruptcy protection is likely to be a long and complicated process, and just one of its ironic impacts is the potential cancellation of PG&E’s planned renewable energy investments. Whether those projects ever made economic or environmental sense is another issue.

By contrast, CDP’s business is evidently booming. But surely CDP should feel some of the heat from the fact that PG&E’s lofty status as a climate discloser did nothing for its investors, employees or customers, or for the victims of those tragic wildfires. Indeed, it may have created a false sense of security. I asked CDP for their comments on that. They chose not to respond. So I guess they get an “F.”

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