#you text me at 10:30 at night and then you get mad when i don't respond right away | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ellieromanov · 4 months

Text

Moments in between

Pairings: Natasha x reader

Word count: 3k

Genre: angst

Warnings: toxic relationships (toxic Nat) manipulation, brief Smut

(Ngl, This wasn’t my best work, don’t love it but I needed to post something lol)

Y/n’s point of view

Natty❤️

Hey, the mission was canceled, I'll be home around 7-7:30 give or take. So I'll see you soon! Btw I'm starving! xx

That's great! I can't wait!! I'll have dinner ready! Love you!!! xx

Despite her lack of response, I immediately set to work, tidying the house so she wouldn't have to worry about it when she returned.

By 6:20, dinner was in progress—her favorite, a small effort to make our evening special. As it cooked, I chose a cute dress, styled my hair, and applied makeup. Nights like these were extremely rare lately, and Nat and I were feeling the strain so I might as well put details into the little things when I can.

She's always busy with work, I mean of course she is, she's an avenger. But when I go weeks at a time without seeing her it gets hard. It feels like half the time shes avoiding being around me. It feels like she often looks for extra tasks. It might all be in my head but I mean Hell I can't even remember the last time we ate and had a conversation together, so I want tonight to be perfect.

As the clock ticked past 7:20, dinner sat ready on the stove, the aroma of her favorite dish filling the air. I hesitated, torn between plating her food or waiting for her call. At 7:40, I finally dialed her number, but the call went unanswered, sending me straight to voicemail. I decided to wait before serving the meal, hoping it wouldn't lose its warmth.

8:00 nothing, she hasn't called back or texted. But that's alright maybe she needed to get a few things done.

8:30 nothing. Maybe traffic?

9:00 nothing. Maybe there was an emergency

9:30 not a word. Something probably came up.

By 10:00 I gave up. I put away the left overs and cleaned up the kitchen. I put Natasha's plate in the fridge, turned off the music and blew out the candles.

In the bathroom, I unwound my efforts, removing my makeup and undoing my hair before stepping into the shower.

I went to sleep alone that night. Natasha finally came home just past 2 in the morning. Her footsteps were loud enough to wake me up. Though I heard her entrance, I chose not to acknowledge her. She joined me in bed, and when she realized I was awake she wrapped her arms around me and whispered apologies and showered kisses on my bare shoulder.

"I'm so sorry." She mumbled between kisses. She kissed from my cheek to my neck, then finally my collarbone. "Let me make it up to you gorgeous."

When she kissed my lips I could taste the whiskey on her.

I remained silent, unsure whether to accept her apologies or express the disappointment that lingered. Natasha's tender kisses continued, and her warmth beside me begged for acknowledgment.

I didn't say anything. "Please baby, let me make you feel good, let me make it better." She pleaded as she sucked marks into my neck. I was so overwhelmed with emotions and I was mad and disappointed but I couldn't convey any of my feelings. I couldn't speak so I just nodded my head as tears started to stream down my cheeks. I don't know why I was crying but I couldn't help it. Once the tears started they couldn't stop. Natasha got on top of me, straddling my hips as she kissed my neck. I just wrapped my arms around her and buried my hands in her hair as I cried.

"I promise to make it up to you." She whispered for the hundredth time as she kissed my bare skin. She took my hoodie off first then went lower, leaving her trail of marks as she went.

Moments later I was completely bare under her and had no control. I know if I told her to stop she would. I know that. But then what. We'd fight and she'd sleep in the guest room? I just want things to go back to the way they were.

With every thrust I just held onto her tighter and closed my eyes to stop the tears and try to enjoy the moment with her but there was no enjoyment to be found.

Just tell her to stop.

Tell her later.

Tell her you're tired.

I didn't say anything. I tried to react as much as I could when she wanted me too. Gasped when she went faster, moaned when she did something different, just keep her satisfied.

"God baby, you're so fucking perfect." She grunted.

Just nod.

"Such a good girl"

React.

"I love your tight little pussy so much. I love you, so much detka"

Tell her you love her.

...

She eventually got the release she was looking for and went to sleep not long after. But I couldn't. I stayed awake next to her and cried. I curled up in a ball with me knees tucked under my chin and cried. My whole body was shaking from my silent sobs. It wasn't that she touched me, it wasn't that she didn't show up for dinner, it wasn't that she didn't take care of me, it was the fact that things used to be different. It was the realization that I was losing her.

She used to get home from missions early to come home and cook with me, we'd dance in the kitchen together and we'd laugh until we couldn't breath and it physically hurt, we used to talk for hours on end, we used play games together and watch movies, we used to make love, and we used to read, and paint, play music, go on walks, we used to do everything together. Because we loved each other...

But now... I don't think she loves me anymore. She doesn't look at me the same. She used to look at me like I was the only girl in the world, but she doesn't have that same spark in her eyes anymore. She doesn't talk to me anymore, she doesn't watch movies with me, or go on walks. Let alone laugh or dance with me. I haven't heard her say she loves me before tonight in months. I think she's done with me...

When I was younger I remember thinking that I'd refuse to stay with someone who doesn't see me for all my worth. How naïve.

_____

When the sun came up in the morning I was alone again. She left without a goodbye, without a kiss on top of my head, without a touch. without a simple acknowledgment.

When I went to the bathroom to shower I saw how red and puffy my eyes were from crying last night. Seeing myself like that confirmed my thoughts that Natasha was in fact done with me. No loving caring partner would let this happen. They wouldn't let their person cry themselves to sleep after an intimate moment. They wouldn't miss a dinner after saying they would be there and they wouldn't use sex as a way to make it up to them. That's not how a healthy functioning relationship works. It's just not.

That afternoon so many thoughts ran through my head, because even though she didn't love me anymore, I loved her with all I had. And if she didn't want me to leave then I wouldn't, I'd stay and I'd give her my entire being until I had nothing left to give and even then I'd stay. I'd stay because I'd have no where else to go, I'd have no one. I'd have nothing. And Id always love her.

I texted her that afternoon asking to talk when she got home.

I Hope you are having a good day. I want to talk to you when you get home if that's okay. Stay safe.

I love you.

She didn't respond, she never does.

As the hours passed by I distracted myself with cleaning, cooking, painting and reading, and with each activity my concern only grew. the sun set and the only thing that brought light to the apartment was the television.

when 10 o'clock passed by I started crying again. I wondered if tonight would be another night on my own or if she'd decide to come home at some point. My heart felt heavy with anxiety and mourning. I wish I had never made the realization that she was moving on from me, I wish that I could have stayed in my denial.

The more minutes that went by the more tears I shed. I tried calling her and I tried texting her, but every message went unanswered. I tried to check her location but she turned it off. I finally had enough and decided to text the one person who always knew of Natasha's whereabouts.

Hey Barton. It's Y/n, I don't know if you had my number saved. I was just texting to ask if Natasha was still at the compound? Or if she was sent on a mission. She stopped sharing her location with me and won't respond to any of my text. I'm just starting to get worried so if you could just let me know that would be great.

It didn't take him long to respond.

Clint 🏹

Hey Y/n. Natasha went out with Maria and a few other agents. They said they were just going out for a quick drink. Is she not responding to your calls either?

She hasn't responded to anything, text or call. Thanks for letting me know.

Clint🏹

Do you want me to try calling her? Try to knock some since into her?

If you could try calling her I'd really appreciate it. I Just want to make sure she's okay. If she answers tell her I need to talk to her.

Clint🏹

Of course Y/n. I'll let you know if she picks up. If not I'll call Maria.

Thank you Clint, I really appreciate it.

As I sat on the sofa with tear stained cheeks I finally got a message from Natasha.

Natty❤️

What?

Are you serious?

Natty❤️

What do you mean am I serious?

I've been trying to call you and text you for the past four hours Natasha.

Natty❤️

I'm sorry. I didn't see them.

but when Barton is the one who's calling all the sudden you see it.

It took her a few minutes to respond to the message. The text bubbles kept disappearing and appearing again. But Finally she responds.

Natty❤️

I'm sorry. You're right, I should have answered you, I've just been busy. Is everything okay?

Im just hurting. I really want you to come home to me Natasha.

Please just come home.

When the text bubbles disappeared my heart sank even more. I couldn't help the sobs and whimpers as I curled up on the couch.

_____

Natasha's point of view

The bar was dimly lit, filled with the low hum of conversations and the clinking of glasses. I sat at a corner table, nursing a drink that I ordered half an hour ago. I stare off as I half-listen to Maria rant about her latest assignment from Fury. But truth be told, my mind was elsewhere, the guilt sitting in.

I glance down at my phone for every new string of unanswered messages and missed calls from Y/n. I continue to Ignore them as they keep poring in. I take another sip of the aged whiskey, as I try to participate in the conversation and ignore my buzzing phone. Finally, well past midnight, I decide to head home, my mind clouded with the alcohol's numbness. The walk through the Crisp winter air helped me sober up and cleared my head as I walked.

Finally getting to our townhouse I unlock and open the door. As I climb the stairs to the main floor I notice the lights are off so I simply assume she has gone off to bed. Perfect, that means no fighting. But when I reach the final step leading to the living room I find Y/n on the couch, tear-stained and defeated, wrapped up in a blanket, half asleep. I walk towards her, every step echoing in the stillness of our home.

I wordlessly scoop her up into my arms, I can see the hurt on her face as I hold her against me. She wakes up enough to wrap her arms around me as I take her to our room.

"I'm tired Tasha." She mumbles against my neck, she's hardly audible but I could hear her. "I know. I'm here now, we can sleep." I tell her as we enter our room.

I Gently place Y/n on the bed, I couldn't meet her eyes. There was a weariness in her voice as she again murmured, "No, Nat. I'm tired." I couldn't help the sigh that escaped me as I replied, "Just go to sleep, Y/n." The weight of my own exhaustion mingled with the my guilt.

I walk off to the closet to change into comfortable clothes and when I walk back to the bed Y/n is sat crisscrossed in her oversized hoodie with tears streaming down her face again. a knot of frustration tightened in me.

"Y/n stop it. It's late. I'm not dealing with this right now." I sigh as I pinch the bridge of my nose, my impatience slipping into my tone. But then she looks at me. "No Nat. Im so tired, im tired of being so lonely..." her voice shakes. "I miss you so much. Is it to much to ask you come back to me at the end of a day? I'm hurting so much." She stifles her cry.

I sit next to her and grab her hands. "Baby please. Let's not do this right now. We are both tired so can we please go to sleep and talk about this tomorrow?" I try to negotiate with her.

"No because I might not see you tomorrow, I hardly ever see you anymore Natasha, that's the problem. The past few months you haven't been here... you'd rather stay out till god who knows how late rather then to come home to me..." she pauses for a moment before beginning again. "Natasha I love you so much. And I want you to be happy. So I need to know now. Do you still want to be here?-"

"of course I still want-"

"No Nat, let me speak. I Will not be the reason you are unhappy. I won't, I won't do that. I will not be the reason you miss out on the life you are wanting so I need to now right now. If you are done I need you to tell me- because I can't let go of you by myself, I love you to much to willingly walk away, so I need to hear you say it. If it's time for me to let you go I need you to tell me that, i need you to tell me to let you go. You have to do that for me..."

As she spoke something finally registered with me, something I've known for a long time but never wanted to admit. Y/n has always been a backup plan for me. If any aspect of my life were to go south I could always come back home and she'd be here waiting. She's a safety net, a lifeline, she's the plan B. And I don't want to let that go. If I let her go then that means I have no one to fall back on.

She deserves so much more then me, she deserves someone worthy of her, to give her love and affection, and someone who will show up for her when she cooks dinner, and be there for her when she needs a shoulder to cry on, I know this. I've always known.

She will always be second in my life, she'll be second to my career, to my wants and needs. But that selfish part of me won't let her go. I won't let her go even though I know it's time.

As the room hung in silence, Y/n's tear-streaked eyes searched mine for a response. For an acknowledgment. The tension between us only thickened. Her eyes begging for an answer of some sort.

"I..." The words lingered on my tongue. My gaze dropped to the floor, avoiding her pleading eyes. I know it's selfish, I know I should do what's best for her because I do want to see her happy but I can't loose her.

"I can't let you leave, Y/n..." I finally admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. Y/n's eyes glistened with a mix of relief and sorrow. She heard the words she was hoping for, but I could tell she was hoping for more. For an expression of love and need, she wanted to feel the truth of my words but she couldn't find any. But I will say what I need to to make sure she doesn't leave. If she needs to hear me say I love her then I will tell her every day, if she needs to hear me say I need her, then I won't stop telling her until she gets sick of it. It's all about playing the right cards.

"I know I haven't been here for you as I should be, I'm sorry you felt neglected, but I need you to know how much I need you, and want you. I can't do this without you."

A heavy silence settled between us as the gravity of my decision sunk in. Y/n, still wrapped in the blanket of my selfishness. she clung to the hope that things might change, that our love will come back.

I reached out, hesitantly brushing a strand of hair from her tear-stained face as an attempt to comfort her. Her eyes glistening with unshed tears. Her eyes have always been a beauty. Pools of color I could always get lost in. I hold both sides of her face and wipe away the tears.

"I love you. I need you to stop doubting me. Do you understand?" I ask. She only nods and leans further into my hands. "Good girl. Now Can we keep talking in the morning? You're exhausted." She again only nods her head. I lean in to kiss her forehead before getting up to my side of the bed.

We get under the covers and it takes no time at all before Y/n is pressed against me, I instinctively wrap my arms around her.

When we first met, I really did love her, or the closest thing to love I could feel. She used to make me laugh and smile, she made me feel comforted, she made me feel safe. I don't know when that stopped. I just hope the feeling might come back if I put in the effort.

As my thoughts continue to race, she eventually falls asleep. She sniffles and whimpers in her sleep, just like she has been these last few months. Even in her sleep she can't seem to catch a break. My heart is heavy, I know I don't love her as I should. I just don't know what I'm meant to do. I was never made to love. It's not apart of my nature. I'll continue to be selfish and hold on to her as a life line for as long as I can. Maybe one day she'll be strong enough to walk away by herself.

#natasha romanoff #natasha x y/n #angst #black widow #marvel #mcu x reader #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanov #natasha x you #dark natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff smut #marvel mcu #daddy natasha

145 notes · View notes

unkownbee · 4 months

Text

Eliza: Stop doing that.

Alexander: Stop doing what?

Eliza: Saying things that make me wanna kiss the hell out of you.

Eliza: Can you name a single city in Oklahoma?

Alexander: Oklahoma City, bitch!

('Tis a joke. Ham would never swear at his lovely wife)

Alexander: Where did you get that tomato soup?

Eliza: It’s actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved.

(When Eliza's too tired to put effort into cooking actual food)

Alexander: So you like cats?

Eliza: Yeah.

Alexander: Tries to impress her by slowly pushing a glass off the table.

Alexander: You got a date yet Eliza?

Eliza: No.

Alexander: Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

Eliza: You’d be stupid to lay a hand on me.

Alexander: Oh, you’d be surprised how much stupid shit I do.

(She's mad at him because he swore in front of baby Philip and Angie)

Alexander: Thought I was meowing back at my cat for the past hour, but it was just me and Eliza meowing at each other from different rooms in the house.

(I don't know if they would actually do this, but I like to believe they would <3)

Alexander: Snow got me feeling some type of way.

Eliza: That's hypothermia.

Alexander: Damn, the paramedics told me it was the magic of Christmas.

(Eliza is very much concerned and trying to get him to go inside and sit in front of the fire)

Eliza: The first time I saw you, you stole my heart.

Alexander: But I'm a kleptomaniac, so that doesn't mean anything.

(Oh, it means everything <3)

Eliza: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Alexander: Okay.

Eliza: And make out during the scary parts.

Alexander: Th-

Alexander: The scary parts.

Alexander: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

(Yes, Alexander. She didn't stutter. The scary parts. Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl)

Alexander: I’m so tired.

Eliza: Did you get to bed late?

Alexander: No.

Eliza: Did you do something strenuous?

Alexander: No.

Eliza: Then why are you tired?

Alexander: I’m alive.

Eliza: Sounds exhausting.

(Eliza is right. Being alive is super exhausting 😔)

Alexander: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?

Eliza: Aww-

Alexander: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!

(No, because he would definitely do this. You can't prove otherwise)

Alexander: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Eliza: That's great, Alexander. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 10 years and have 4 children.

(Ham just got back from drinking with his friends. He's drunk 😁)

Alexander, trying to flirt: So, you come around here often?

Eliza, confused: I mean, this is our house, so yeah.

Eliza: Alex, could we go shopping? All the snacks are gone.

Alexander: I AM LITERALLY RIGHT HERE?!

Alexander comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Eliza’s bedroom.

Eliza: Babe, are you.. coming to bed?

Alexander: No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a girlfriend.

Alexander: Lies on the ground and falls asleep.

Eliza: ...

Eliza: We're literally married, though???

(Again, Ham is drunk 😁👍)

Eliza: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Alexander: It was autocorrect.

Eliza: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me"?

Alexander: Yes.

(Yeah, that happens sometimes. Totally 👍)

Eliza: Alexander, can I speak to you for a minute? In private.

Alexander: Ooh, someone's in trouble. It's me. I don't know why I did that.

(Again, Ham swore in front of the kids)

Eliza: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives.

Alexander: I wake up at 4:30 AM every day.

Eliza: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives.

(And that's on those rare occasions that he actually does sleep)

Eliza: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Alexander: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Eliza: ...

Eliza: You mean ring bearER, right?

Alexander: ...

Eliza: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

(He totally is. As he should 😌✨)

Eliza: And have you learnt anything this Christmas, Alexander?

Alexander: …Not really.

Eliza: Nothing?

Alexander: Tell you one thing I have learnt—Christmas; ultimately, commercial holiday. Who's the real winner at Christmas? Amazon. they have drones now! Tiny little dystopian slaves delivering iPads and headphones. I ordered a toaster; It was on the doorstep five hours later! Do we need that? It was 4.99! For a toaster! I mean, someone's being exploited there.

(And that, kids, is the true meaning of Christmas. Exploiting people into buying stuff that they don't really need under the guise of it being worth it. That also fits for Black Friday, actually-)

Alexander: Alright, so the vampire's gravestone is—

Eliza: Cenotaph.

Alexander: What?

Eliza: It's only a gravestone if it marks the location of a body. A monument honouring someone whose body isn't present is a cenotaph.

Alexander: I'm... not sure that's how it works if the body gets up and walks away on its own.

Eliza: There's a precedent for gravestones being reclassified as cenotaphs if the body is later removed and reinterred elsewhere. There's no rule that says the body itself can't do the removing.

Alexander: Okay, but the body is very much coming back. That's kind of what we're here to accomplish.

Eliza: So it's a temporary cenotaph.

Alexander: And naturally our greatest concern here is avoiding semantic ambiguity.

Eliza: Semantic ambiguity is how vampires get you.

(I just thought this one was silly. I liked it)

Alexander: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.

Eliza: Steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to her knees and sob while apologizing profusely.

Alexander: That one. I want that one.

Eliza: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you...

Alexander: Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, honey.

#hamilton #hamiltrash #hamilton incorrect quotes #hamilton the musical #incorrect quotes #alexander hamilton #eliza schuyler #eliza hamilton #elizabeth hamilton #elizabeth schuyler #hamliza #hamilton x eliza #hamliza incorrect quotes #i was gonna add more but then i realized just how many I've already added #looks like this is gonna be a two-parter #probably more than 2 parts

74 notes · View notes

aalyssah · 21 days

Text

A Long Day

Pairing: Seth Rollins x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Fluff/Smut. Aftercare, Cockwarming, Cursing, Hickeys, and Unprotected Sex. Minors DNI 18+

Word Count: 1,241

Summary: Seth comes home after midnight and sees you looking so good in the bed and decides to spoon you after such a long day at the arena.

A/N: Been a min since I wrote a Seth fic! Hope You Enjoy!

Ever since 5 in the morning Seth has left home. He first woke up to go to the gym with Cody and then after he went to the arena to talk about his upcoming WrestleMania match.

You understood that and didn't argue or feel mad about it, but what you were mad about was the fact he still wasn't home.

It is now 10:30 and he has yet to call or text you, and you don't want to worry him, so until then you'll be waiting.

You sat in the living room, watching a random movie when you felt your eyes begin to slowly close. You jumped up, shaking your head in an attempt to stay awake, but not even 5 minutes later and you were asleep on the couch.

The cool air brushed against your skin, with you only wearing Seth's 2014 Shield shirt and a pair of panties underneath. The TV kept playing the movie as you slept, last seeing the time. 10:56.

About 2 hours later Seth finally came in, slowly unlocking the door, making sure not to wake you up in the bedroom, but when he walked in he saw the living room TV on Netflix saying, 'Are You Still Watching?'

He took a peak over the couch and there you were, sleep on your side. He smiled after seeing that, going to put his bags down in the closet before walking back to you.

He turned the TV off and carefully picked you up and guided you to the bed. As he laid you down under the covers, 'your' shirt slipped up, revealing what you had on underneath.

Seth lowly groaned at the sight, trying to ignore it and get you comfortable. When he did he retreated back to the bathroom to change into something comfy and joined you in the bed.

He sat behind you, grabbing you and pulling you against his chest. You sighed as his head nuzzled in your neck, taking in your familiar scent.

Unknowingly, his hips began to grind against your ass, erecting his cock slightly. It was until he felt his tip painfully rub on his shorts that he hissed.

He looked down under the covers and saw how hard you had gotten. "No, no, this isn't the time!" He said quickly, trying to stop himself from getting any more harder, but that didn't work.

He wanted you to rest. He wanted you to rest because he knew you were waiting for him until you couldn't no more.

But something inside him was wanting him to slip his cock inside you. Not even fuck you, just to feel you around him, so that's exactly what he was gonna do.

He rocked you side to side, shaking your shoulder gently. "Baby? Babe? Wake up for a second." You whined as you turned your head towards his direction. "Seth? You're home." You groggily let out, wanting to kiss him, but your body was too weak after just waking up.

His hands rubbed up and down your side as he whispered in your ear. "I'm feeling really horny. Can I just slip it in? Y'know, you cockwarm me for the night?" You hummed, nodding your head not really caring.

You trusted Seth with your life and the sex is amazing. He slowly pulled your panties down to your feet and took his shorts and underwear off, leaving it somewhere under the covers.

He jerked himself off a little, slapping himself against your ass a couple of times before slipping inside you.

He bit his lip to hold back the groans, not wanting to annoy you, but he smiled when he heard your small moan.

Seth kissed your neck a couple of times as his way of silently saying thank you. You both laid there, your cunt clenching around him every now and then, earning a groan from him.

Every little move you made in your sleep, every move he made forced a wave of pleasure to shiver through his body.

To distract himself, he was sucking hickeys into your neck, covering your pretty skin in reddish marks, but that wasn't working.

While you were enjoying the feeling of him in you just sitting there, Seth was going through it behind you.

He was fighting not to thrust up, he was fighting the urge to cum in you, he was fighting demons back there and it was only a matter of time until he couldn't hold back anymore.

That time being 2 minutes.

And Seth made sure to let you know. "Fuck, babe, I can't this anymore— you feel so good around me, I need to fuck you. I'll do all the work, just please." He begged, a small smile coming to your pretty face.

“Go on, not too rough though." You warned and Seth placed a kiss on the bruises he made. "Thank you, thank you so much!" He thanked you, already lifting your leg up slightly and sliding down at a certain angle under the sheets.

One simple thrust and it woke you up, a gasp falling from your lips. The way his cock hit deep inside you made your eyes grow big. Seth pathetically whined, his hips automatically moving on its own.

His eyes were closed, mouth open ajar as nothing, but shallow moans came out. "Shit, feel so good." He grumbled in your ear, quickening his pace.

He hasn't seen you for more than hours than he could count on two hands and hasn't fucked you in almost two weeks, so this felt extra good. His balls lightly slapped your clit only added an extra amount of pleasure to the mix.

Your hands gripped the bedsheets, almost tearing a hole through it, but it was soon replaced with Seth's sweaty hand as he intertwined them together.

Your head was lolled against his shoulder, Seth taking the opportunity to lean down and kiss you, with nothing, but tongue.

He pulled back, the hand he had locked with yours now going under 'your' shirt and playing with your nipples. If there was one thing Seth knew about you it's that you loved getting your nipples played with when getting fucked softly.

“Yes, yes, please keep fucking me, don't stop." You pleaded, trying to help by pushing against him to deepen the thrusts. That made Seth chuckled as both of his hands grabbed your hips, pulling you harshly against him as he thrusted hard to meet you.

You moaned loudly, drool spilling from your lips. "I'm gonna cum, baby. You want it inside or..." Seth asked, head thrown back in pleasure.

He's so close, but you haven't given him an answer yet. "Baby!" He yelled, trying to get your attention, but he still got no answer. “Y/n, I'm fuckin' cumming." He warned and you finally answered.

“Do it, do it inside me."

At those words Seth let out the most needy moan you've ever heard, as he buried himself deep inside you before cumming.

You came with him, clenching hard around him, both of you moaning in sync at the wonderful feeling.

It was quiet in the room as you and Seth caught your breaths. Seth got up and took care of you, getting a warm rag to wipe you clean before getting back in bed with you and going to sleep for real.

After a long day of working hard, spooning is the best way to end the night.

#seth rollins #seth rollins smut #seth rollins fluff #seth rollins imagine #seth rollins x reader #seth rollins one shot #seth rollins fanfic #seth rollins wwe #wwe seth rollins #wwe smut #wrestling smut

37 notes · View notes

writing0305 · 5 months

Text

Prompts.

Fluff.

“If you tell me what happened I can fix it. Whatever it is.”

2. "This cake reeks of resentment and bitterness." - "When we get to the party I'm going to need you to stop talking like that."

3. "Nothing could ever change how I feel for you."

4."I think I might love you."

5. "I can hear your heart beating, relax."

6. “Can… can I have a hug? Please?”

7. “Your mouth says you don’t like me but the way you stare at me tells me everything I need to know.”

8. "I think this is the part where you're supposed to kiss me"

9. "You know, ever since I saw you that day, I haven't stop thinking about you."

10. "Everything would be a lot easier if you fucking sat still."

11. "Glad to see that you decided to show up." - "I knew you'd be bored without me here."

12. "This may not mean much to you, but I have your back."

13. "There isn't anything that I wouldn't do for you."

14. "You need to know that I have grown to care for you. Deeply."

15. "Your jacket smells like you." - "Is that a good thing?" - "It’s… It’s comforting."

16. "I trust you. More than anyone else."

17. "I would do anything to keep her safe."

18. "You put a blanket over me when I was sleeping? What are we, an old married couple?"

Angst.

"The only thing about you that never disappoints, is your ability to disappoint."

2. "You couldn't live with your own failure, and where did that bring you? Yeah, right back to me."

3. “Holy shit… that’s a lot of blood...”

4. “Are you okay? does anything hurt? who did this to you?!”

5. "I don't want to see you!" "You can't be serious."

6. "You don't answer my texts or calls, how could I not be suspicious?" "No, you just don't trust me enough!"

7. “Who was that?”

8. “Just a friend, huh?”

9. “You two are so close, it’s adorable.”

10. "You are a brick tied to me that's dragging me down"

11. “Please, tell me this isn't your blood.”

12. “You were never going to tell me, were you?”

13. "I get everything I want"

14. "Get the fuck away from me."

15. "I don't know why I am upset about this so much. I never even liked him!"

16. "You know what's the saddest part? There was a time that I would've forgiven you if you just showed a little remorse. No more, though. I'm no longer a fool."

17. “Don’t you dare touch me.”

18. "... who did this to you?"

19. "...who's this?"

20. "What. the. fuck. is going on in here?"

21. "I need answers and I need them now."

22. "So, what's going on between you and [name] recently? You guys seem to have gotten close all of a sudden."

23. "Why are you so worked up?" "Because they wouldn't stop fucking staring at you like they wanted to eat you."

24. “I can’t leave you alone for one second without you hurting yourself, can I?” - “I mean, I’m fine so it’s okay—” - “No, it’s not okay. Not when I feel like I’m going to go batshit fucking crazy, thinking you’ve hurt yourself.“

25. "You lied to me. was i just a pawn in your game? the easiest one you can sacrifice ?"

26. “Why are you mad?” “I’m not mad, I just think you can choose better people to kiss.”

27. “You know I’d do anything to have you stay by my side, right? Anything.”

28. “I’m not even gonna lie, I’m just so fucking obsessed with you.”

29. "You have no idea what I'm capable of. "

30. "I wouldn't do that if i were you. "

31. “They would be so mad if they found out.” “fuck ‘em”

32. "You have no morals, you know that?" - "Morals will get you killed someday, dear.”

33. “Have you ever cared about anyone other than yourself?”

34. “How did you do that?”

35. ”Where were you last night?”

36. “He deserves to die after what he did to you. And I’ll bring it to him.”

37. “She's my date. Fuck off.”

38. “Why was he talking to you?”

39. “You won't go anywhere with him.”

40. “He touches you again and I won't guarantee you I won't kill him immediately.”

41. “You go near him ever again and I'll kill him.”

42. “Whether you like it or not, you're safest with me.”

43. “Yeah, I killed him! He used to hit you! What did you expect me to do?! Leave him alone?”

44. "I didn’t know where else to go. "

45. "Clean yourself up. You're getting blood all over the place."

46. "Why are you avoiding me?"

Pregnancy/Children.

“Our babies would be so cute.” - “Oh, yeah?”

2. “Wait- we’re having a baby?”

3. “Heartbeats? Plural? There’s more than one?!”

4. “That baby is lucky to have you as a mother.”

5. “Your child has been kicking me all day.”

6. “You’re doing so well sweetheart. Just a few more weeks. My superwoman.”

7. “Go easy. You are carrying my child.”

8. "Of course I'm pregnant! Can't you see that?" - "Well, I didn't want to assume and be rude."

9. "Is there something you wanted to tell me?"

10. "Well, we both made that baby." - "Don't remind me."

11. “I have a kid?”

12. “He/she’s mine too.”

13. “Anyone fucking hurts my kid again, I’ll kill them.”

14. “I have a right to be in my kids life.”

15. “How could you hide this from me?”

30 notes · View notes

moon-alight · 1 year

Note

Hello!! I saw you also write for Skz??? If not that's okay... anyways, could you do a Han imagine where reader is his s/o and they had a fight before the concert and he thinks she's not coming to watch him but then there she is because she still loves him.

If that makes sense.

Thank you😘

I do and here you are. I'm happy I got a request other than &Team to be honest. :)

You're lucky I love you - SKZ Han Jisung

Synopsis: You had a fight with your boyfriend but figured that being there for him is more important than being mad.

Warnings: I used they/them for the reader, fluff, angst, swearing,

Word Count: 1700 (I again went overboard, sorry)

Masterlist

*48 hours before the concert*

You had just decided to do an all-nighter knowing that the project for school is very important and could decide whether you pass or fail this class. History had never been your favorite subject so, this was almost a way to torture you.

You had just texted your boyfriend that you wouldn't make it to the dorms tonight since you had to work on the paper, you open your laptop and make a new google docs document. Just when you want to start typing, you get a text from Jisung. You check your phone.

I can't either, I'm staying at the studio tonight to practice a bit more. Maybe want to meet me for breakfast tomorrow morning in the dorms? You smile and text him back in which you agree before actually starting to write.

Guess what? One complete night... nine hours... 540 minutes... 32400 seconds... it somehow wasn't enough time. You hadn't finished writing in the night and you're expected to meet Jisung in 30 minutes. You sigh and get up, deciding to continue working on your paper when you're there.

*38 hours before the concert*

You had taken a quick shower to make sure you wouldn't fall asleep and at least now you smell nice, before walking out of your apartment and walking down the road towards the dorms. You knock on the door and see Felix when he opens it.

"Hey y/n, come in." You smile at him and enter the dorms, it always looks the same. Always messy and everything is all over the place but it is like a second home to you.

"y/n!" You're wrapped in a hug by your boyfriend who had ran up to you. "I'm happy you're here."

"Yeah, but I do have to continue the paper later on."

"Don't worry, we won't interrupt you, Felix made pancakes." Jisung assures you. You get pulled along to the kitchen and say high to everyone before sitting down. This is the first hour of relaxation you had gotten over the past 10 hours and it felt good. But, all good things must come to an end and so, you're back working on your paper in the living room while everyone else is doing other stuff.

*33 hours before the concert*

After four extra hours of working, you're finally done. You stand up and stretch before going to the bathroom. It has taken you so long and now you're finally done. What a relief.

"Baby?" You hear Jisung scream from probably the kitchen.

"Yes, Sungie?" You ask back.

"Can I check something on your laptop?"

"Sure." When you come out of the bathroom and have taken a glass of water from the kitchen, you return to the living room. Everyone had left for practice except your boyfriend who is getting his jacket from his room. You sit down and look at your laptop desktop. You frown when you don't see your paper saved anywhere. "Jisung?" You ask, clicking on different folders to see if your paper is anywhere in there.

Jisung enters the living room a little scared, you don't usually use his full name, not in that tone.

"Yes?" He asks, a bit shaken up.

"Tell me you saved my paper before you did whatever you did on my laptop." Jisung gulps, not remembering to click the save button before clicking the paper away. He assumed you had saved it already. "Jisung?" You ask again, your voice dangerously close to anger.

"I didn't." You groan, closing your laptop.

"13 hours of writing... gone. I need to send it to my teacher in 3 hours. I'm never gonna be able to save my grade now!" You're disappointed, annoyed but above all angry. "Who doesn't save before clicking something away on a device that isn't theirs?!" Your voice had raised and Jisung feels your anger even from behind you.

"I'm sorry--"

"Sorry isn't getting me my damn paper back, Jisung!" You stand up and glare at him. "How did you not save that?"

"I didn't really think about that." Jisung replies guiltily while looking down at his shoes. "'m sorry."

"Leave it! I better hope I get a couple days extra." You pick up your laptop and walk to the door. "Thanks for ruining my one chance on passing!" Without another word, you're gone, outside. The anger is enough to simply throw your damn laptop to the ground but you won't. It would only complicate things.

*30 hours before the concert*

10 missed calls from Jisung and 21 unread texts messages.

*25 hours before the concert*

34 missed calls and 50 unread texts messages.

*20 hours before the concert*

You had just woken up from your sleep. You must've fallen asleep when you arrived home. You had cried yourself to sleep but even now there is nothing you can do about the project anymore.

You look at your phone, scoffing when you see all the notifications from the same person, not even bothering opening them. You would need some more time to cool off before you'd make things worse. You wanted nothing more than to hate him, despise Jisung for the mistake he had made but you still loved him.

You get up from your position on the couch and walk towards the kitchen, you're extremely hungry and long for some chicken nuggets which you had bought last week.

*10 hours before the concert*

"My boyfriend accidentally deleted my paper from my computer, I need some more time to remake it." You explain to your professor via the phone after you decided to call.

"Is this a new version of 'my dog ate my homework'?" He asks back. "Listen y/n, you're a bright student with a lot of potency but I can't change the rules for you. I said 1 week, which means one week for everyone. Understood?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Unless you can still send it in the next twenty minutes, you fail." The call is ended and you could scream. How is this fair at all? You finished it and now it's gone.

*5 hours before the concert*

You stare at the folder on your laptop with wide eyes. There it is, your paper. It's saved in a different folder. You're confused for a moment before you remember what had happened in the dorms.

Before you went to the bathroom, you had saved it but accidentally miss-clicked which means it went to your download folder instead the desktop. You had saved it!

You quickly send it to your professor in the hopes that it would still count and you'd still have a good grade. The relief and happiness inside of you is cut short when you remember how mad you have been at Jisung... he hadn't even done anything wrong.

*4 hours before the concert*

You had finally found your phone after looking for a while and dial in Jisung's number. You have to apologize. After a little while you hear his voicemail. You try again and again but realize he must be rehearsing for the concert. You open one of the texts he had left behind hours ago and feel your heart sink.

y/n... I really hope you will forgive me. I don't know what I would do without you. I'm so sorry.

You stand up and quickly gather your things before running out of your apartment.

*5 minutes before the concert*

You are inside the venue where Stray Kids will be performing soon, you weren't allowed backstage because the new guard didn't know who you were so you hope Jisung will see you in the crowd so you can apologize.

5 minutes pass slowly but when Stray Kids comes out and performs, you notice a clear difference in your boyfriend's behavior. His smile is obviously fake, his energy is lower than usual and he messes up more than he did before. You did this.

You're sure you have never felt so bad in your life as you do right now. You hear some stays next to you mention Jisung's weird and low behavior. It's affecting everyone and it's all your fault.

*1 hour into the concert*

You know it's almost over, maybe 4 or 5 more songs but it has been torture to watch. You try your best to be recognized by any of the members so that Jisung might be a bit happier but you were unsuccesful up until now...

Minho squints when he looks into your direction, his gaze right upon you. The girls around you freak out, thinking he's looking at them but with a little wave of your own, he's sure it's you in the crowd. He taps Jisung on the shoulder and points at you. The girls almost faint around you but you know Jisung looks at you.

You smile softly, giving him a thumbs-up. His face immediately breaks out in a big grin and he looks like he had just gathered all the energy he could ever gather simply by looking at you. The next song goes smoothly, Jisung has his vibe back and makes the crowd go wild.

*10 minutes after the concert*

You made it backstage and watch your boyfriend walk up to you slowly. Your heart breaks a little at his distancing.

"Hey." You say softly. A moment of silence follows before both of you speak at the same time.

"I'm sorry."

"What?" Jisung asks, frowning a little.

"I am so sorry for lashing out... I found the paper. It was saved in a different folder which was completely my fault and I'm so sorry for everything."

"I missed you." Jisung admits. "I thought you would break up with me." Your eyes widen.

"What? No. Ji, I would never. Even if it wasn't saved, if I had really lost it... I would've not broken up with you. It's just a stupid paper. You're so much more important to me." Jisung smiles at your confession.

"So, we're good?" You step closer and embrace him, resting your head on his shoulder.

"If you forgive me for my stupidity." You reply. Jisung smiles.

"You are so lucky I love you." You both chuckle, holding onto each other.

#skz #skz fluff #skz angst #skz imagines #skz scenarios #han jisung #skz han #skz jisung #jisung fluff #han jisung fluff #han jisung x reader

140 notes · View notes

mamabearwonders · 3 months

Text

Rant About Manager (Part 2/2)

So my other boss or general manager is- well, let's say he's a few fries short of a Happy Meal. In his case, a McSad meal because I genuinely don't understand how he's a manager. He also walked out when I got hired and now he's back??

So in my healing from c*vid/before stomach fl* era, I called out for a mental health & thrifting day on Thursday or I knew I'd quit when I got my thrifting therapy to fuel. So I already didn't wanna come in on Friday and lowkey both still sick and getting sick again.

This guy literally stands on the line all day texting. He's supposed to be covering grill. I would call back so many times well before we ran out what we were out on. I'd just get, "K." "Yeah." Then no food. When we were in a rush ALL DAY. He starts blaming me and the other person doing a 5 person job on line that "we're giving too much food out."

Listen buddy. I'm not a math expert. But one rinky dinky pan of white rice is not going to be enough for an all day out the door mad dash rush. And customers are able to get as much rice as they want- our portions are like WW2 rations so I get it.

He refuses to put signs up, refuses to communicate with guests, won't give refunds, it's a nightmare. Half the time he doesn't put cash in the drawer so no cash. He makes giving breaks seem like such a burden.

We asked him politely to grab stuff from the fridge he's right next to because we can't leave the line or there's one poor unfortunate soul at the mercy of the hungry masses up there. He refuses and just texts. End of the day, he starts complaining to my manager who was in the trenches with me about how I didn't do outs all day. She defended me.

Like OBVIOUSLY? I can't leave the line? And we asked you to help us! There's no staff here?? We even had folks who come on at my time to leave who offered to clock on early to help us. He refused, but then refused to cover me up front while he's just texting away. Why are you a manager? I'm minimum wage, idc if this sad place burns to the ground. You're supposed to care about customers and workers - ya know, the two people that bring money in for your paycheck twice the size of mine for standing around looking at the air.

I get it, I don't do much either. But you're not gonna yell at me for having no change in the drawer which isn't my job or for not outs when you won't let anyone help us including you.

But the final straw was- at long last I could see the light outside beckoning me to leave. 30 minutes after my shift, finally. As I'm making my EMPLOYEE MEAL, he asked me to clock back on to take out another section's trash. Excuse me?

He's like I'll pay you. i hope so, sir. That would be illegal otherwise. Is that supposed to be an incentive? Also 10 extra minutes is like peanuts, it won't show up. ALSO. That's not my job either? I'm happy to help out those who help me, but not to CLOCK BACK ON? The absolute disrespect. Not even a "hey I apologize for keeping you late". But while I'm making my burrito.

So I threw my gloves on the counter, pretended to be in the back and turned around to leave. It's not about the money. And this is why friends of mine and I impulsively quit jobs- because we don't like being disrespected like this. And it sucks how you have to just put up with it because sadly that's the current state of the retail and fast food job industry.

I've been looking for an escape for months. Popped back on indeed, all the same jobs I've been applied to months ago or jobs just as toxic as mine.

I'm trying to just say, oh I don't work that often, but I absolutely dread going into work. I have 1 coworker that helps a bit, but he's only there on my shift once out of the three shifts if that anymore (college for him). I can't even sleep on nights I have work.

It doesn't help it's me and one other person if that running tortilla, hot food side (so like rice), salsas side, bagging chips and salsas and doing cashier. If we had a cashier, it would help a lot instead of constantly changing gloves and changing food and washing hands to avoid cross contamiation.

Oh. And I've gotten sick TWICE from there. I wasn't exactly having the time of my life with c*vid and certainly not with the stomach fl*, but I was happy to be away from work. Now that it's happened twice especially I just don't wanna be back.

And I can't get temporary unemployment because a previous job lied about things so I can't get it. Also adulting is kind of stacking up so I might HAVE to take another day at work and mentally, physically and emotionally I can't. My health is already bad enough, I'm just trying not to push myself so hard I'm forced to quit due to health and then have no job.

Tbh if I just got transferred to the restaurant down my street instead of that one, I'd be ok for a bit longer. It's a smaller one and just down the block instead of a few stops away. But I've applied for MONTHS and they say they're hiring, but apparently aren't. I also don't know what the environment is like over there. I just need a change of pace...anything like idk. It's not doing wonders for my health at all.

It's frustrating turning around and my manager is literally out in the open just texting. Not getting change, not helping us, yelling at us for not doing his job, trying to force us to do even more work without extra pay...

4 notes · View notes

fuck-customers · 2 years

Note

I work at a drug store company that only operates in two states up north. Well I tested positive for COVID Wednesday night after I had already worked my shift for the day. So I tell my manager and we start making sure the schedule is covered. She mentions Monday (today July 4th) and says that it's covered since someone is coming in at the same time I would be. I go get a test done that HR will accept the nest day (Thursday) and she mentions the COVID pay we have for Thursday.

So our policy is 5 days isolation and then 5 days wearing mask constantly at work if you don't have a fever and symptoms are better. HR said I COULD come back Monday if those criteria were met is what I was told by my manager. But I still have a pretty bad cough so I wanted to wait the (what I thought) full 5 days before coming back. So I don't tell the other supervisors and such that I'm not coming in today bc my understanding was that today was my 5th day.

Well I wake up at 10:30 am to a text from a co-worker that asks if I was coming in. I say no, and get a snappy reply of "well why didn't you tell me and asst manager's name that you weren't coming in?" I told her what I just explained above, and she says it doesn't work like that. That the day you test positive is day 1. Well apparently not from what I was told.

And then the asst manager calls me later asking about it. I explained to her everything and that I was not told that I had to come back today, only that I could and I was under the impression today was the 5th day. Then I found out that my manager told the asst manager that I would pretty much be there. Nobody bothered to ask if I felt good enough too. And there is clearly a miscommunication.

Idk if the other supervisor is right, but I'm going off what my manager told me, who talked to HR, when I told her I tested positive. It's been bothering me all day even though I really shouldn't be since it's really not my fault. I'm just mad someone I thought was my friend is being so bitchy about it. So yeah, fuck co-workers sometimes.

50 notes · View notes

theoculus124 · 11 months

Text

I'm bored- No one asked but I'mma answer a bunch of questions from an ask game

0: Height - I think I'm 5ft 4

1: Age - 16

2: Shoe size - size 5, but mainly depends on the shoe brand

3: Do you smoke? - nope

4: Do you drink? - nope

5: Do you take drugs? - nope

6: Age you get mistaken for - 17/18

7: Have tattoos? - nope

8: Want any tattoos? - YESS, I have a whole pinterest board of tattoo ideas

9: Got any piercings? - Used to but now I don't

10: Want any piercings? - Kinda, but at the same time I'm terrified cause I have a stupidly low pain tolerance

11: Best friend? - I have many :) Honestly we could interact once on tumblr and I would consider u my bsf lol

12: Relationship status - single

13: Biggest turn ons - Idk if this means like relationship, or sexual way? But I'mma just take it as relationship way and say honestly being nice and I'll be happy forever

14: Biggest turn offs - being mean for no reason :/, or telling me to stop being sensitive or making fun of my weight, or making fun of my neurodivergent habits etc

15: Favorite movie - don't really have 1 movie that's my fave I love the greatest showman, I love the MHA movies, Ready Player One, Last Avatar, Marvel movies, Disney movies (Also I just saw there's a Bo Burnham movie so that'll probably be in the list once I watch it)

16: I’ll love you if… you're nice :)

17: Someone you miss - I moved house some years ago but I have some close friends where I grew up so I'll probably see them during the summer

18: Most traumatic experience - I have no clue, I also don't know if anything I've gone through counts as drama or if I'm being dramatic and catastrophising the situation. I'd say probably catholic camp that was awful

19: A fact about your personality - I'm unfiltered so idc what the topic of convo is about u can talk to me about anything and I won't judge you ever <3

20: What I hate most about myself - Being so sensitive. Ik I can't help it but still it still sucks so much, mixed with my constant need for hugs/physical affection is like the worst combo lmfao

21: What I love most about myself - I will be a massive simp for u platonically or romantically <3

22: What I want to be when I get older - I'll probably be an engineer, but I also want to be a therapist part time

23: My relationship with my sibling(s) - isn't horrendous but we don't talk much :/

24: My relationship with my parent(s) - it's been alr rn but it's very up and down, some things they say is really hurtful and it's hard to decide upon me being the overly sensitive one or not

25: My idea of a perfect date - Hugs and food and a gay show, and then staying up until late hours of the night just talking about ourselves etc

26: My biggest pet peeves - people who get mad at u for crying at how they've treated by saying "just chill" "you're overreacting" I hate it so much

27: A description of the girl/boy I like - Wilhem from Young royals. Not a desc but still I don't think I need to expand on that lol

28: A description of the person I dislike the most - bigots, terfs, racists -- those kinds of people

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend - I don't remember the last time I've lied to a friend

30: What I hate the most about work/school - overwhelming pressure and work

31: What my last text message says - I love you

32: What words upset me the most - hearing the word fat triggers me, I understand it's used as a descriptor and that it's being reclaimed as something neutral not negative but because growing up I got called fat in a negative way I only have negative connotations with it therefore I just get so upset when people say that even if they don't mean it in a bad way (Idk if that makes sense but yh)

33: What words make me feel the best about myself - I love u, beautiful

34: What I find attractive in women - physically Idc at all, like I don't have a type of person I'll be into Idc what ur hair colour, body type, face structure/feature are I'll be into you if you have a great personality

35: What I find attractive in men - physically Idc at all, like I don't have a type of person I'll be into Idc what ur hair colour, body type, face structure/feature are I'll be into you if you have a great personality

36: Where I would like to live - probably in a city, but also I don't want anywhere too loud

37: One of my insecurities - My body image

38: My childhood career choice - I don't remember I think artist

39: My favorite ice cream flavor - anything chocolate <3

40: Who I wish I could be - Nick Nelson or Torii from heartstopper

41: Where I want to be right now - I'd love to see my friends and I'd also love to meet up with tumblr mutuals

42: The last thing I ate - coffee? If that doesn't count ice cream

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately - I have no clue so many people are attractive

44: A random fact about anything - Boston marriages used to be a thing where two wealthy women would get married so they wouldn't have to share their finances with men :) Got shut down when people realised lesbians exist

There ya go I answered all the questions unprompted :)

9 notes · View notes

greenteaoverload · 1 year

Note

Many asks for my lovely moot

5-10-15-20-25-30-35-40-45-50-55-60-65

5) are you interested in anyone right now?

Platonically, yes. There's this girl at the place I volunteer and she just seems so cool and like an interesting person and I'd love to have a conversation with her and maybe become friends?

10) can you recall the last time you realised you liked someone a lot?

Yes. It was just over a month ago when one of my friends on here came back online and we talked and I was reminded how genuine and kind they are and that just made me re-realise how much I like them as a friend.

15) is it hard for you to get over someone?

It depends on how we parted. I'm aro/ace so can't really talk in terms of romantic relationships but friendships it all depends on how close we were and how we drifted apart. If it's kind of a mutual thing where we're going different places in life then I'm fine, it's when something happens like they move and we don't talk or contact information changes that I struggle with.

20) what would you name your future daughter?

I doubt I'll ever have children so I'll just give a girls name I like. Constance.

25) have you ever cried from being so mad?

Once or twice when I was really young (like toddler young). I'm not really a crier.

30) how is your heart lately?

Relatively good. To the best of my knowledge all my friends and family (and people on here) are doing ok (or their version of ok) so I feel grateful.

35) are there any stressful situations in your life?

My dad. I feel bad saying that but it's true.

40) will you sing today?

Probably not but I'll try to tomorrow just because of this question so thank you.

45) what is wrong with you right now?

I'm struggling with binging and it HURTS

50) are you a good artist?

I'm ok? I don't think I'm good I just enjoy it and use it as a form of expression and to vent.

55) ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who?

Does it count if I was having a breakdown and sending one friend walls of text that I don't have a memory of sending??

60) have you ever been to New York?

No.

65) is there one person in your life who can always make you smile?

I'm fortunate that I have many people who can make me smile (some aren't actually people but animals so shhhh)

Thank you and sorry for the rambling

4 notes · View notes

thispabulum-blog · 2 years

Text

Stories That Make Me Roll My Eyes

Post-Mortem Monday

Let's do some random bitching.

Dr. Strangelove had a tendency to do a thing (that The Hitter also used to do), where after we'd been around other people he'd get me alone and then reprimand me for something I'd done or said or worn or whatever that he thought was wrong.

Mostly this happened regarding his parents, particularly his mother.

At the beginning, the first time I met his mother, she was telling us about this new guy she was dating that she was excited about and seemed nice. And when I met his dad not long after, I said something about it.

I did not realize that this was a problem. My parents were also divorced, but they'd always been comfortable and friendly enough with each other that it never would have been an issue.

But his parents are petulant assholes, and his dad started sending his mom harassing texts about it, and then everyone was mad at me.

Personally, I wouldn't introduce anyone to a single member of my family without like four layers of warnings and preparation.

But of course there were other things.

Here's a series of texts I sent my best friend on an occasion (in 2018):

I got up at 8:30 this morning and worked a full day, got off at 6 and made dinner. [Dr. Strangelove] worked 4:30 - 8:30, and let me know when he got off that he was going to stop by his dad's house before he came home.

That ended up taking about an hour longer than it should have. By the time he got home around 10, his dinner which had been in the oven to keep warm, was overcooked.

Actually, it was a steak, so instead of Rare like it had been when I cooked it, it was now probably closer to Well Done.

So he threw out the $20 steak.

I offered to make him something else, and gave him a short list of things we have in the fridge, but he said no, that it would take me too long to clean the kitchen to be able to cook again.

I assured him it wouldn't, and started loading up the dishwasher. On his way out to smoke a cigarette, he told me that I need to be "actually cleaning" the dishes before I put them in the dishwasher, and pointed to a few items (which would have been perfectly fine, which I should know because I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER DOES THE DISHES) before huffing and going outside.

I, with some attitude, rewashed the items he pointed out and was struggling to get the new bag of dishwasher pacs open, but my hands were wet and it was pissing me off, so I slammed it down on the counter and went to dry off my hands. He came back in as I was grabbing the scissors, asked "Do you need a hand?", and I said no. He yelled (just kind of a general AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH) and stormed out, presumably to get food.

I cleaned the rest of the kitchen and took out the garbage, because I clean when I'm angry.

But it's late and I need to go to bed and I'm just too tired for this.

To be clear, it wasn't just the criticism that was the problem. It was the gall of correcting someone on how they're performing a task that you've literally never voluntarily done.

Another time (in 2019):

So last night [Dr. Strangelove] came home from work and stuff, and we had dinner and then he was frustrated because he needed to do homework and he didn't feel like it.

He went to the desk and started doing his work but he seemed angry about it, so I went to take a shower - because I needed a shower, and he's always frustrated when he does his homework but it makes me and the dog uncomfortable.

And then after I got out of the shower I hung around in the bedroom to watch TV because I didn't want to distract him.

But I came out when I was getting ready to go to bed, and he's very upset with me.

He says that when he's depressed like that and spiraling, he wants me to distract him and pull him out of it.

He said he wanted me to tell him it would be okay if he didn't do his homework. And my thing is...I don't know that it would. I don't know what his homework is or when it's due or how long it would take him to do it. And I'm in no position to make an honest judgement about that.

And I know with me, if someone tells me I should do something, it makes me not want to do it. And if they tell me I don't need to do it and it turns out I should have, then I'd resent them for letting me be lazy and getting out of it.

And I don't want to be in either position.

I trust him as an adult to make a realistic decision about whether or not to do his homework.

I just don't know how I'm supposed to be supporting him.

I did say all the things, and he said it's not really about the homework, but his mood and depression in general.

I think we're just different on an emotional level, and I'm not a mind-reader. If he can't communicate in the moment what he needs, I don't think it's fair to get mad at me for not giving it.

He says if he has to ask me for emotional support, it doesn't feel genuine.

I'm not a fan of that argument. I told him to just to do like the dog does and come flop down on top of me when you want attention.

It doesn't mean I love the dog any less, he's just really good at communicating his emotional needs.

You know who else will flop down on top of me when they want attention? My cute boyfriend. Promise that's the only one of those in this post.

Here's a long one (from 2020)

He's weirdly contradictory. Like he says it feels like I don't want him here, but then he also complains that he feels like he's always having to entertain me and he can't do anything unless he knows what I'm doing.

We were watching Frasier last night and he said he didn't want to watch more. So I stopped it, and I told him I wanted to watch The Haunting of Hill House. He said he didn't want to watch that, and took the PS controller from me. And then he spent 20 minutes just sitting on the couch playing on his phone with the PS home screen going.

He got mad at me because he said he wanted to play video games but somehow I was keeping him from doing that?

And I got mad at him because why am I not allowed to watch TV in the living room?

We got this big damn apartment, we have three rooms and two TVs, and he's an adult with hobbies who knows how to read.

But apparently me watching an episode or two of a TV show that he doesn't like is so torturous because he has nothing to do.

So I was mad at him and he was mad at me and I was mad at him for being mad at me.

Idk. It's just frustrating because I feel like I have to be really flexible and accommodating of what he wants to do, but his only activity it playing PS.

He's not gonna watch Hill House, and I'm cool with that. But idk why he can't play phone games or go read or just go exist in one of the other rooms in the house while I watch it.

We're at this weird place where he's apparently doing a lot of emotional work that he thinks is helpful (but I don't notice it and never asked him to) and he's very stressed by it.

He's like "I don't know what you need" and it's like no, bro, we've gone over this. When I feel shitty I want to be alone, and I will do that.

He just does all this overthinking in his head without talking to me about it, and then gets mad at me because of it.

And I feel like I do a pretty good job of explaining my state of mind. Like hey I feel shitty, I'm gonna go lay down and be sad. Or therapy was draining today, I feel blah. Or I took my anxiety pills and I'm sleepy.

But yeah, I don't know how to reconcile. He doesn't want to feel like I don't want him around, but also doesn't want to have to consider what I'm doing?

Because if I try to just be more decisive and do what I feel like, he feels hurt and left out.

I guess it's like...I tell him when I feel bad and when I need to be alone. But I don't tell him when I feel good and want to not be alone?

Like he assumes I'm feeling bad more often than what I'm expressing.

We end up in a lot of those "Do you want to do something together?" "Sure." "No, do you WANT TO do something together?" "Kinda?" "Do you want to play a board game?" "Ugh, no." "Do you want to watch a movie?" "No".

I think his PlayStation habit bugs me.

He wants to play all the time, and it's like he just expects me to sit there next to him.

Like if I go in the other room to watch TV or something, he thinks I'm mad at him. But it's more that there's not really anything for me to do.

It's the same dichotomy - you want to do something that there's no way for me to participate in, but you don't want me to do something else. Um.

It's all so confused.

I wish he'd talk to a therapist. Or a friend. Or anyone.

And that's a good point that I wanted to talk about. One of the things that I found most troubling about Dr. Strangelove was that he didn't really have friends.

When we met he was living in a house with four other guys, and he had a friend or two at work. But then we moved into our own apartment and he switched jobs, and I could probably count on both hands the number of times he saw those people after that. He had "friends" from high school that he'd text maybe once or twice a year and saw in person 2 or 3 times during the course of our relationship. And he had no form of social media.

Before we met Mutual Friend, the only people that he talked to semi-regularly were his parents and his younger brother.

This is a problem for a few reasons.

If you don't have friends then you're entirely relying on your significant other for all of your physical, social, and emotional needs. This is likely unsatisfying for you, and is exhausting and unfair to your partner.

Friends are good for venting to and talking about your feelings and frustrations with, so that maybe things don't have to build up as much and you can understand how you're feeling.

Good friends will also point out when they think you're wrong or being a dick.

If someone doesn't have any friends...they might be an asshole.

And we'll end on a notable conversation that I had with Space Kitten (who always has the best words) on the day that Dr. Strangelove - exactly two weeks after our first date in 2014 - told me that he didn't want me seeing anyone else.

Me: He's upset and going for a walk. And I feel shitty.

Space Kitten: Dont feel shitty. I'll try to give you something meaningful to say. But I mean...I dunno. Did he explain what about it bothers/overwhelms him? It's like, you can hate multiple people. You don't have some kind of exclusivity contract with hating people. So it stands to reason that you can have similarly intense emotions loving people.

Me: I did that part.

SK: What's his issue? I mean. It's hard to comfort if you're not sure where they're having an issue.

Me: He's not sure. He said it was intimidating. I tried to assure him that when I'm with him, I'm not thinking about or comparing him to anyone else. I told him to think of it like friendships - when you're hanging out with Friend #1, you don't think "oh this would be so much better if I were with Friend #2". I explained to him about the poly thing first, and quoted you at him - "I just want to love others freely and act in a way that makes sense with them".

SK: He might just need time to process. And for him to figure out exactly what bothers him.

Me: Yeah, that's what he said. Hence he's walking. But I'm worried.

SK: Yeah. It'll bug you until you have resolution for coping.

Me: I really, really like him. And I want to find a way to make this work.

SK: Is workable.

Me: What happened was, he said (roughly): "I like you a lot, and I want to take this to the next level. I'm not looking for anything really serious, but you said something the other day about another guy you're seeing" and then basically said that he didn't want to happen anymore, and I said no. That's not an option.

SK: That's kinda lame. Like. All it is is that you don't want to be told you can't do things.

And what did I say about this

Certified fucking nonsense (tm)

on the blog when it happened?

I might hang out with Space Kitten tomorrow, if I can find a way to do so without hurting Dr. Strangelove's feelings - somewhat unlikely.

I don't know. I'm trying to be good at this relationship stuff, and it's proving tricky. The other day I started talking about Pollock - admittedly, a somewhat insensitive move in my part - and he interrupted me by saying "No guy wants to hear about your ex-boyfriend". It was really rude and I didn't appreciate it.

Hear me out, because I need to think about this for a minute. I know it wasn't the best idea to start talking about my ex with my new boyfriend, but I don't know how you can get jealous about something that happened in the past. Pollock and I were together for all of two months, it didn't work out, and now we're friends. It's not as if I was comparing the two of them, or even talking about how much I liked him.

[Iirc it was something about the height difference and how he keeps his microwave on top of his refrigerator, and mayyyyyybe I insinuated that we had trouble having sex (which is true)]

But that's not my point. My point is this: I value my experiences. My time with Pollock was important to me in its own way, because it's part of my life, and I learned and grew from it. I see no reason to pretend it never happened, or to shy away from talking about it. If I talk about Pollock or The Octopus or even Space Kitten and Parsifal, it's because they are a part of my life.

Something that I was trying to get across to him when we had our big relationship talk was that my relationships, in whatever form they may take, are really just friendships with some of the more limiting boundaries removed. I wouldn't hesitate to talk about something fun that I did with any of my other friends, so why should I keep quiet about things I do with Space Kitten, Parsifal, Jabberwock, or anyone else? It just doesn't make sense to me, and maybe we need to talk about it more.

I'm not the best girlfriend, but I'm hoping to improve.

As it turns out, I wasn't a bad girlfriend; I was just in the wrong relationship.

#Spotify #dating #poly #men are trash #breakup #relationships #relationship #unhealthy relationships

1 note · View note

stayathomesurveys · 6 months

Text

178.

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? Yes :)

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? NOOOO.

3. Have you taken someones virginity? No.

4. Is trust a big issue for you? Yeah.

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? No :(

6. What are you excited for? Nothing at the moment.

7. What happened tonight? It is 5:56 am... I'll just answer this for last night/this morning since I have been up all night. I ate dinner, watched a lot of Desperate Housewives, talked w/ Nik, looked for jobs, worked out, had yogurt, doing surveys :)

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? I don't really care. I don't really like when anyone gets really wasted unless I, too, am really wasted. I just don't like being around it!

9. Is confidence cute? It can be?

10. What is the last beverage you had? Diet Dr. Pepper.

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? I'm working on 1 :) which is a big step up from 0.

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? Yeah, in storage.

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Probably study.

14. What are you going to spend money on next? I need to buy some toiletries and other essentials so probably that.

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? NO.

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? Yes.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? No one.

18. The last time you felt broken? Hm.

19. Have you had sex today? GODDDD I WISH.

20. Are you starting to realize anything? Hm.

21. Are you in a good mood? Meh.

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? Yeah.

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? No.

24. What do you want right this second? MONEY.

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? I don't even know. I probably would never talk to him again lmao.

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? Kinda but no.

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? No...

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? Something on Twitter.

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Yes :(

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? NO.

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? Nooooo I love him sm.

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? Yesssss :)

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? PLS I WISH. I used to not drink soda at all..... and then .... I got addicted :(

34. Listening to? Desperate Housewives.

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? No.

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? NOPE. I don't fucking care about that loser.

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? No.

38. Who did you last call? Nik.

39. Who was the last person you danced with? My ex, at his mom's wedding.

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because I *had* to. He was my boyfriend at the time and I didn't want him to get mad at me for not wanting to kiss him lmao.

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Hmmm.

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? No.

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? Who hasn't?

44. Do you tan in the nude? No.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? I mean, I would like to take back that entire relationship.

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? No. Until he fell asleep, yes. I don't sleep lmao.

47. Who was the last person to call you? Nik.

48. Do you sing in the shower? No.

49. Do you dance in the car? Yup.

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? I tried.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Idk.

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Yeah but I like some.

53. Is Christmas stressful? Not really.

54. Ever eat a pierogi? Yes lmaooooo staple in my house.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Not a big pie girlie unless it's those delicious ass pies from McDonald's lmao. Blueberry and cream for lifeeeee.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Actress, singer, vet, doctor, fashion designer.

57. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yes.

59. Take a vitamin daily? I need to.

60. Wear slippers? Mhmmm.

61. Wear a bath robe? Not lately.

62. What do you wear to bed? T shirt and shorts.

63. First concert? Jonas Brothers.

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Target.

65. Nike or Adidas? I like both :/ Nike, I guess.

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos.

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Neither.

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? Oooooh idek.

69. Ever take dance lessons? No.

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? No.

71. Can you curl your tongue? Yup.

72. Ever won a spelling bee? Yes. Winning word was Mononucleosis.

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yessss.

74. What is your favorite book? Idek.

75. Do you study better with or without music? Without.

76. Regularly burn incense? No.

77. Ever been in love? Yes.

78. Who would you like to see in concert? TAYLOR SWIFT :( MORGAN WALLEN :(

79. What was the last concert you saw? Jingle Ball.

80. Hot tea or cold tea? Cold :)

81. Tea or coffee? Tea (sweet).

82. Favorite type of cookie? Chocolate chip :) Chocolate chip WITH M&M :)

83. Can you swim well? No.

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Not anymore :/

85. Are you patient? Not really but I try.

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? Probably a DJ.

87. Ever won a contest? Yeah.

88. Ever have plastic surgery? Not yet. One day.

89. Which are better black or green olives? I don't really care for olives, but black I guess because those are the only ones I'll eat and only on pizza.

90. Opinions on sex before marriage? Don't really care.

91. Best room for a fireplace? Living room/family room.

92. Do you want to get married? YES.

#survey

0 notes

justtogetthrough · 1 year

Text

When I turn my work phone on in the morning I fully expect there to be multiple texts from this one CAS worker who sends me vague referrals by texts and then gets mad I don't respond to her instantaneously but she doesn't follow up at all in any way either - so with my phone off, and there being no such thing as text auto responders, she"ll only have figured out I was on vacation if she bothered to call or email after not hearing back from me.

This is the woman where at 1 pm a few weeks ago she texted me 5 words, did not label it urgent, I glanced at it when it came in then had 2 meetings and urgent referrals, and at 4:15 when I was like oh shit, this person, I texted her back and she had the audacity to be like "Where have you been all afternoon?!" Like... bitch it was only 3 hours and your information had 5 words in it, none of which suggested this needed me to drop everything I was doing. What do you mean where have I been.

I'm actually really anxious to turn my phone back on and I kind of want to do it now and get it over with, but 10:30 on a Sunday night is not when I should start catching up on what I missed if I have any desire to sleep. I'm anxious not doing it either though, because anxious is just my state these days, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But I'd probably be way worse off if I knew what was gonna happen tomorrow.

Gotta make the most of my last work free night by stressing about work tomorrow :~) I have zero reserves of mental energy to get me through the next little while.

#personal #i wish working full time wasnt necrssary. my life would be so much better if i had time to care for my physical and mental wellbeing

1 note · View note

tsuki669974 · 2 years

Text

For the last few weeks, Tippy and I have been on the same work schedule. Not the same times, but the same days.

Today, he got off at 3:30 while I had to stay until 10:30. He texts "Where you at" and I response "2nd floor" and when I don't hear from him, I text "Where r u?" and he responds with "Looking for you". I say "Me too! 3rd floor, meet you there!"

I leave the door open for him and he comes in, sits stuff down and comes into the room. We talk, he tells me about his night and how he hasn't been home nor to sleep yet. He thanked me for the packages of Swedish Fish I got him. I tried to get him to lay down for a moment, but he couldn't because there was people in the building.

He told me he had to go, so I told him to go. We hugged and kissed each other and he left. About half an hour later, he calls and asks if I can open the doors between the Visitor's hallway and weight room. I'm like Sure! and walk down that way.

He appears and I open the door for him. We walk to the doors leading into the Visitor's hallway and go through the doors. Talking and walking, he goes to Locker Room #6 and opens the door, pushing me inside.

Next thing I know, he's got my shirt off and is kissing me. Long story short, we had sex on the bench and even after he came, he kept going! Just kept pumping and lifting me up. I was completely naked, while he still had his shirt on.

I ended up having to take a quick shower and thought he'd left, so I was drying off with paper towels when he comes back with two towels for me. I tell him thanks, we kiss and he leaves.

I finish drying off, take the towels to the laundry bin when I see his car in the dock area. He's cleaning it out, so I help him. I like helping him. He doesn't get mad at me for my questions and he appreciates my help.

I also like listening to him when he talks about things. How excited he sounds and everything. We did talk about last Sunday and he told me that he was joking when he said that. I told him that Wednesday night was the first time in 3 days that I hadn't dreamed about it, and so took that as a sign that I wasn't to worry about it. He agreed, saying, "I wouldn't do that to you."

I've also talked to him about going to Alabama with me the week of Thanksgiving. I told him that all I'm asking for is two days: Monday and Tuesday. He can leave on Wednesday and be back in time to spend the holiday with his family. He told me to ask him when it gets closer.

0 notes

ohimesama · 2 years

Text

9.10.22 Saturday

3:20 am

Done,streaming at tagged....I feel boring and lazy and I can't sing still coz of my raspy/ husky voice... Still,having the windblow.... I fee bitter, I really feel bitter and low....Self-pitying...

7:48 am

I still have the windblow and waiting for food providence coming from Uncle DD...

For the windblow people, these are mixed people of church of christ with different people,their cult??? Unfair to control someone's life for 15 years...

8:09 am

Uncle Jun went out to his baranggay task.... New schedule??? I think so...

8:16 am

Hmm... Uncle DD not replying....He texted uncle Jun that, we should talk to the meralco people not to cut the electric today... There is still a balance...

People should be responsible for what they did from the past 15 years??? This is theory in life... If you planned something since 2007 and until now, be responsible for these things...

8:31 am

Uncle DD texted me...

8:41 am

That's life still have the windblow...

Some people in Cavite are as well weird... Still,having the windblow...

Still,can't process my documents I need to get a job away from here...That some people are holding me for their penis that I wanna chop!

8:57 am

I still need to give a lil amount on the friends inside the meralco... My God,everytime I have no money,they will appear ....It is just a small favour...

9:12 am

Where is my fucking national ID,it is supposed to be delivered by now... We don't need any clearance if we have it...

I feel bitter,this is not my life,supposed to be... Supposed to be I can do my whitening injections and have new bags... Grrr....These people in the windblow cult!

9:23 am

People of the Philippines,I need my fucking national ID! It's Ber months now... that will be a green card here... Where is my fucking national ID! BE PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE OF THE PHILIPPINES!!!

Our relationship must be professional!!!

10:47 am

I did check the water leak on the tube outside the garden....We don't have camera but it looks intentional.... I hope it is something positive...

3:16 pm

Shocking but we need to follow....

5:10 pm

Plastics yellow Patty hahaha will kill her....Now part of trios!

Hahaha super plastics....I saw Patty, I met her in Antipolo when I was an admitting clerk in hospital....Patty you are yellow,why she is now red? Is she insane???

Well,well I need to mind my own life... My own stardom! My own stage and my turn...

Whew! Hating church of christ!!! Wanna slap their faces!!! Who are part of that cult, wanna slap them! 15 years!!! Wanna leave the hometown...

Yellow means jealousy and intellectual...

Red means love,passion and madness...

Me is Green,means revive,everlasting and immortality.

5:47 pm

This Uncle Jun said that the sealant that I bought is not effective on the water tube....He said he will buy new tomorrow... Hmm... Hmm... He said he doesn't want to put sealant later night coz he can't see it,anymore...

But will try to apply it later...

9:13 pm

Uncle Jun said not to put that sealant coz it will only burst out... huh? Kinda controlling....He said he will change it but he commented that our water bill will be higher this month...

I still have the windblow and I don't wanna end up with someone who is planning to cage me for nothing here...

I wanna have someone away from here... A face that I can be with day and night... Of course beauty is in the eyes of the beholder... I want someone who can speak different language fluently other than English... I want that someone be supportive of my needs and my freedom as a woman to glow... I wanna have a self-fulfillment and I want to compete, I'm self-pitying...

I wanna get a job...I need money... I feel bitter....How can you see me my Prince/ Fazza?

Who will take me? more pictures... I can't post everything coz they put a limit here...

9:30 pm

Scary windblow... I feel bitter! I wanna leave the hometown...

0 notes

spencersgfwrites · 2 years

Text

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: a new family: help:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

authors note: this is from john's pov btw

Sherlock doesn't leave my mind all day as I work. I worry about what he is doing , and hope he isn't getting back into drugs, if not for the sake of his health, for Rosie because I know she looks up to him. While I'm still mad at him for not caring about a knife being held to Rosie's throat, I feel more remorse at what I said. I don't know if I'll ever be able to get the image of his face when I said it out of my face. His eyes were so hurt, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to get him to trust me again. It took him years to fully trust me, and even then sometimes I would wonder if he full trusted me.

"Hey John!" I hear someone say, and I am shaken out of my trance.

"Oh, hello Louis. What's up?" I say, noticing he looks rather worried.

"I know this is a really big favor, but can you cover my shift tonight? My mum got hurt pretty badly and she lives in America so I need to fly out to see her. The shifts from 5 to 10:30." Louis says. I really want to get home to Rosie and check up on Sherlock, but my conscience get's the better of me.

"Sure. But you owe me one!" I say, cracking a smile.

"Okay, thanks buddy!" Louis says, and claps me on my back. I wince a bit, but not enough for him to notice. I quickly sent a text to Rosie: be home late, eat dinner without me. Love you. I see the time is 4:36, so she should be out of school for a while now.

When I get home that night I see all the lights are off so I decide not to turn any on. I go into my bedroom and don't even change into pajamas, I'm so tired. I just lay down and go to sleep, not even thinking to turn on the light.

I open my eyes and see the sun shining through the windows. I groan, and sit up. I look at my bedside table and see there's a note there. I read it and find out that apparently Rosie left to see Sherlock. Well that's good. I go downstairs and make coffee, not bothering to eat. I decide to work on my blog a bit. I update it on Sherlock and my most recent case, but of course leave out the bit about me calling him a freak and him leaving. I hope it's not my last blog post.

When I finish I look at the clock and notice it's already a bit past noon. It's weird Rosie isn't home by now, but I don't think much of it as I know she's a responsible kid, and if she's at Sherlock's she's safe. I look in the fridge, wondering what to make for dinner tonight when I realise we have almost no food. Well, I might as well go grocery shopping I suppose.

The grocery shopping trip goes very uneventfully. When I get home and Rosie still isn't home and she hasn't texted me back at all I really start to worry. I remind myself I'm probably being paranoid. I mean, what are the chances my kid gets kidnapped. I decide that if she's not home by tomorrow morning then I'll see if she's at Sherlock's. And then if she's not there I'll at least have Sherlock to help me. Or at least I think he will help me. I mean, I know he does really care about Rosie. I go to bed early, without even eating dinner. I fall asleep after lots of turning and readjusting.

When I wake up in the morning I get out of bed and walk straight over to Rosie's room. My heart and stomach drop when I see she's not there. I go into what Rosie calls "Panicked Dad Mode" and call her cellphone an impressive amount of times. When she doesn't answer I hurriedly put on clothing and slip on shoes. I grab my keys and go outside to hail a cab. On the way to 221B I check my phone every 3 seconds to see if Rosie has texted my back, and she never does. When the cab stops I get out and take a shaky breath, hoping when I go inside Sherlock and Rosie will be there and everything would be okay.

Of course, that's not what happened. When I walk in Mrs Hudson spots me and comes over. "Hello John! Here to see Sherlock?" She says, clearly happy to see me.

"Yes. Well, kind of. Has Rosie been here recently?" I ask, hopeful.

"No, not since you were here last. Why?" Mrs Hudson says. My heart sinks.

"Oh no reason. I'm going to go up and see Sherlock now." I say, dodging the question. I walk up the stairs, and realize that there is a distinct possibility Sherlock just won't answer the door. I take and deep breath and knock.

❤ part 5: wrong

❤ a new family: masterlist

❤ my main fanfic masterlist

#spencersgfwrites fanfic #sherlock holmes #sherlock bbc #bbc sherlock #johnlock #sherlock holmes x john watson #sherlock holmes x platonic!rosie watson #john watson x platonic!rosie watson #john watson #rosie watson #sherlock season 5 #sherlock season five

0 notes