#you know she's gonna fucking ask me to make balloon animals for the kids birthdays too... asshole

[schatzietess]

Me: *spends my evening learning how to make balloon animals because fuck it why not*

My therapist sister: are you okay? It's manic season and this is weird "even for you".

Me: I'm... Literally just enjoying my Sunday but I'll make sure to let you know when I officially lose it and start taking meth ya fuckin Negative Nancy

#tess talks #I'm very close to my sister but she's also a fucking c*nt when she wants to be #ps i learned how to make a dog a butterfly a flower a sword and a STEGOSAURUS #SO THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD FKIN SUNDAY RACHAEL BACK THE FUCK OFF #you know she's gonna fucking ask me to make balloon animals for the kids birthdays too... asshole

[draculcid]

How cursed do you want your asks to be?

Steve as a child just obsessed with clowns. Not in the horror fascination way, not in the "I'm scared of clowns" way, he just. Really likes clowns? Thinks they're funky. So when he was a kid he'd CONSTANTLY be dressing as a clown, begging his mum to put the face paint on him, otherwise it wasn't complete!

Obsessed with clowns in the weird rich kid way, with clown pictures hanging in his room, circus themed decor, multiple clown fancy dress outfits, a.... Clownsona.... If you will....

His parents (more his mum) thought it was abosutely adorable her son had this weird fascination, made him special. She's forever bringing out the photo albums of him as a child whenever she sees one of Steve's friends for like, the second time, because that's the ideal time for the childhood pictures of course. Steve cringes now at what a weird kid he was, desperately trying to forget the weird things he did in the name of clowns. (but he still secretly likes clowns, but now pretends he thinks they're awesome horror movie villains or something)

Anyways is that wholesome or cursed? I certainly don't know

mhm mhm. on his fourth birthday, he has one of those party clowns, making balloon animals, doing magic tricks, wearing funky clothes. and thats when the obsession starts.

he starts dressing up as a clown every year for halloween, cute little polka-dot pants, big shoes, face paint, wig, and the red nose. and when being a ‘cute’ clown stopped being cool, he’d started dressing as the scary ones. darker outfits, but just as funky.

his mom thought it was cute, and constantly got him those little vintage clown post-cards whenever she was away from home. and with the bunch of pictures she took of steve as a clown, she had a whole photo album by the time he was 19. he was basically a clown every year for halloween. (but he wore clown outfits regardless if it was halloween or not as a child sometimes)

he buries that part of his childhood deep though. yeah, he still likes clowns, but he won’t let anyone know. absolutely not. but then he and billy become friends, maybe something more, and billy’s at his house. his mom pulls out the treasured photo album and she makes billy sit down and they go through each and every one of the pictures.

steve just turns red- he’s ready to die right then and there.

billy’s laughing, his mom is obsessing over the pictures that she’s seen a million times already, “this ones pretty funny, little man would walk around in that wig for days!”

(cue steve screaming into a pillow while billy just laughs at him)

“oh! he had clown underwear too! I would show you a picture but-“

“no thanks mom!” steve interrupts tugging billy into his room and away from her, “I’m pretty sure billy doesn’t want to see that.”

“dude, I wanted to see,” billy says with a smirk that would haunt steve’s dreams for years to come.

“fuck you.”

-

im gonna turn this soft (but still slightly cursed) for a second. imagine,,,, billy starts sending steve clown post cards all the way from california because he knows steve secretly likes clowns. and steve keeps each and every one of them.

but also im cackling at the thought of billy giving steve something like this or this bjssjshgduwgi

-

anyway. back to cursed.

-

steve: i loved clowns as a kid

billy the next day:

no but seriously. billy is the biggest clown and steve will fall for him.

-

im sorry- send me cursed asks

#CURSED ASKS #lol i love these #but yeah. #clown steve and billy rights #thank u for the ask ily #ask #all the stars on your skin #me posting

[harrysgloves]

Let Your Hair Down (chapter xi)

Get caught up with the Let Your Hair Down Masterlist!

word count: 6,521

story summary: Harry gets more than he bargains for when he falls not only for you but your little girl as well.

chapter summary: Date night!

warnings: Language.. and SMUT! YAY! male&female receiving oral/use of the word puppy/fingering/squirting.. oh and some nice fluffy things at the end. 

a/n: okay buckle up for a long one folks! I didn’t want to split the date night chapter up so... it’s a bit long but I’m pretty sure 75% of it is them screwing.. so you know.. Uh also editing not possible with this shit internet I’m forced to use tonight so.. keep that in mind. Enjoy! xx

>>><<<

"Where are we going?" You asked for what had to be the millionth time and he responded with the same smile and shake of his head that he'd been answering you with all night. You huffed and leaned back into your seat, arms crossing over your chest. You'd been in the car for over 15 minutes and you still had zero idea where you could be going.

You could see the enjoyment he was getting out of you getting so frustrated over this. You hated surprises and it's not like he didn't know that about you. The last surprise birthday party you had when everyone jumped out and said happy birthday, you screamed. Then cried until your anxiety passed. Sarah had never given you a surprise party after that.

"You know I hate surprises." You mumbled under your breath. Your eyes glued to the window watching all the buildings pass by you. You just needed a hint. Really anything to ease your mind. What if he decided to take you skydiving? Nope. You needed answers.

"I know." Was all he said back. That dumb smirk still plastered on his aggravatingly gorgeous face. You rolled your eyes and let out another huff.

"Cheer up. You'll love it once we get there." His hand reached over and rested on your leg.

"Oh no, you're not touching me until you tell me where we're going." You pushed his hand off your thigh and crossed your legs. This bitch really thought he could just say you'd love it and you'd trust him. He obviously didn't know you very well.

Your eyes were still glued to the window when you heard him laugh. His hand resting back on your thigh. Making you whip your head around towards him. You weren't sure what part of you're not touching me he didn't get but you were about to show him how serious you were being when the car came to a stop.

"We're here. So, can I touch you again?" His cheeky smile across his face as his thumb rubbed small circles on your thigh. You ignored him and looked around to see where you were.

Your eyes widened once you realized where you were. A bright smile across your face as you turned to Harry who was already looking at you. He looked worried about your reaction, his hands running nervously through his hair. You couldn't not throw yourself across the car and kiss him. He was the sweetest.

"What's that for?" He smiled against your lips, his hands running through your hair.

"I can't believe you remembered I've never been here. I told you that like a year ago." You laughed. Your forehead resting against his as you took in a deep breath, too much more of his thoughtful shit and you'd be a pile of mush on the ground.

"Always listen to yeh." He whispered softly before pulling you back in for a kiss and it was official, you were completely fucked over him.

It took you a bit to finally get out of his car. You weren't above sleeping with him right there to show him how happy he'd made you but he kept pushing your hands away, laughing.

"Come on, I can't keep sayin' no to ya much longer and I want us to actually go on a date."

A big pout was on your lips as he kissed your nose and reached for the door handle. Really, you didn't have to go. You were just happy he listens to you. It was a complete 180 from what you were used to before with your ex and you wanted to show him you appreciate his efforts. You eventually decided you'd show him later as he pulled you out of the car. Your arms wrapped tightly around his waist as you walked side by side.

"Still can't believe you've never been to Coney Island Boardwalk." He pulled you in closer to him as you walked up a few steps and were finally on your first Boardwalk, ever.

"Never been to any boardwalk." You pulled back from him and took his hand in yours as you took in all the things around you. Sure, you'd seen boardwalks on movies and stuff but nothing compared to it in real life. It was so noisy and a lot more bright than you expected.

"How come?" Harry asked as he pulled you by your hand closer into his side. It was definitely more crowded than you were expecting it to be and you started to get a bit anxious at the thought of people stopping you two a million times to ask Harry for a picture. Maybe he hadn't really thought this through too well.

"My mom hates the beach so we never went when I was a kid." You laughed softly at the thought of her ever being around a beach. She really had an issue with sand.

"Then when I got older I just got busy. I never really had time to take vacation then Thea came along and all free time went out the window." You shrugged, never really caring that you'd missed out on something.

"Can't believe you've come here though. How do people not stop you all the time?" You looked up to him. Hoping he could put your worries at ease but the look on his face did the exact opposite. He looked so uncomfortable it made your skin crawl.

"Jus' part of life now." He tightened his grip on your hand when he started to chew the inside of his cheek. You realized life with him would never be normal. Or at least the type of normal you wanted.

"Oh." Was oh you could mumble out. You knew he caught the sight of your face falling slightly but he chose to ignore it. Which was probably for the best. You didn't want to ruin the night with your over thinking before it even started.

The awkward tension between you two quickly went away when you both got the area with all the games. You knew those games were nothing but a rip off. You'd end up spending double what any of the stuffed animals were actually worth but when you saw the large pink teddy bear you stopped in your tracks, making Harry stumble a bit, your hand still clutched in his.

"Oh my God," you pointed to the prize waiting to be won. "Thea would love that. We should try to get it."

"She would love it." Harry smiled up at the teddy bear, your eyes moving over to take him all in. Sometimes you had a hard time believing he could be so invested in not only you but your daughter as well.

You eagerly pulled him up to the stand, basically dragging him. You'd only tried a handful of times at this particular game at local fairs in your hometown. You had to throw a dart and pop so many balloons to get the prize. You were thanking your lucky stars you were a pro at darts from all the times you spent in a dingy bar back in your college days.

"How many?" The probably underpaid teenager asked when you both finally made it to the front.

"Uhm, just five." Harry let go of your hand to take out his wallet and laid down a 5 dollar bill.

"Hit one and you get a small prize. Three for any of the top shelf." The guy stepped to the side, letting Harry attempt to throw a dart. Which was the most tragic thing you'd ever witnessed. He missed all five times.

"How are you so bad at this?" You asked, trying to contain your giggles. Even the game attendant looked a little amused.

"Aye, I didn't have time to run around and play with darts." He huffed reaching back for his wallet but you stopped him. You slammed down your own five dollar bill and asked for five of your own darts.

"Gonna have to teach you some things." You smiled bright at him as you turned back around and threw a dart and hit on the first try. You could hear his unimpressed grumble from behind you but as your 5th dart in a row hit a balloon he looked at you in shock.

"How'd you do that?" He asked, his brows furrowed as he looked at the board with balloons pinned on it like it had personally betrayed him.

"Beer darts in the college bars." You shrugged but a proud smile was on your face as you were handed the oversized pink teddy bear. You quickly reached up and put it on Harry's shoulders for him to carry around for you. He gripped tightly onto the bears legs as you two moved on back into the crowd.

"Ohhhhh," you drew out as the sweet smell of fried foods filled your senses. "They have funnel cake!"

"Should have guessed we'd be heading right for the sweets." Harry smiled down towards you as you pushed his shoulder.

"I run on nothing but sugar and sleep deprivation." You pushed him towards the stand with the huge sign that said funnel cakes.

You both moved over to the side where no one was walking as you started to shove your mouth full of the powder sugar covered deep fried batter. Harry chuckled from beside you making you look up from your plate.

"Shut up." You rolled your eyes at him as you went back to happily eating your food.

"Y'got some on yer face, love." His smile didn't leave his face as his hand came up to wipe away some of the powder sugar from the corner of your mouth.

"Got some here too." He leaned down and pressed his lips to yours quickly before his warm tongue swiped across your bottom lip. He pulled back before you had the chance to further the kiss, you pouted up to him, upset he didn't let you kiss him back properly.

"Wanted a good kiss." You sighed, looking up at him with those big doe eyes he couldn't say no to.

"All my kisses are good." His hand came up to his chest, acting all offended. You rolled your eyes. He knew exactly what you meant but he leaned down and gave you a kiss on your forehead. You smiled as you felt his lips linger for a second. This was definitely better than the funnel cake but you'd never tell him that.

It was late by the time you and Harry started to make it back towards his car. You definitely shouldn't have worn the high heeled boots you had on but they went so well with the outfit that you thought it would be fine but after over 3 hours of walking around you hated them with a passion.

"My feet are killing me." You whined, shaking Harry's hand a bit as you threw your mini tantrum, but he just smiled at you stopping in front of you and crouched down a bit.

"Hop on." His back facing towards you and your eyes widened at what he wanted you to do.

"No way! You'll drop me." You tried to walk past him but he stopped you by grabbing your hand.

"Already carried you to bed, darling." His cheeky smile on his face shining bright as you grumbled your way back around and jumped on his back.

"Don't wanna hear you complaining in five minutes when you're tired." You laid your head on his shoulder as his hands went to support your legs. You held the ridiculous sized bear you'd won earlier in the night in your hand as he took off walking.

"Never complain about having ya on me." He said, causing you to laugh but swat at his chest.

"Shut up. People will hear you one of these times." You buried your head in the crook of his neck, hiding your embarrassment.

"Don't want anyone to know what dirty things you do to me in bed, love?" You could hear the gloating in his voice as you pushed away from him. Fuck this, he wasn't going to tease you and try to be sweet at the same time. You tried to get off him but he only gripped your legs tighter and laughed at your struggling.

"'M just messin'." You decided to let it go as you two finally made it back to the car and he let you down.

You sighed as you finally settled into the car. It had been a long night and you were so excited to get these torture devices off your feet. You had no idea how Harry managed to wear those boots all night long without feeling like he was walking on glass. You jumped slightly at the sound of his door slamming, pulling you out of your thoughts.

"Yer coming to mine right?" He asked but still somehow looked anxious about it. One of these days you were hoping he'd be able to be completely comfortable around you.

"I don't put out on the first date." You shot back, causing his deep laugh that was slowly becoming your favorite sound in the world erupt from him.

"Hate to break it to y'love but y'put out before the first date." That big toothy grin on his face made you want to slap him.

"Watch it Styles or you'll definitely never sleep with me again." You huffed sitting back into your seat, arms crossing over your chest. He hummed in amusement as he started his car. Obviously not buying your fake threat.

It didn't take long before you were standing in the middle of Harry's ungodly sized penthouse. Really you shouldn't have been surprised but as you looked around you couldn't do anything else but gape with your mouth wide open.

"Better close yer mouth before I fuck it." Harry said as he came up behind you, wrapping his arms tightly around you. You snapped your mouth closed as his lips touched the sensitive spot on your neck that he was becoming overly familiar with over the last few weeks. A shiver went through you and you knew he could tell he was getting to you by the smile forming on his perfect mouth. Sometimes you really hated him.

"Gonna bite it off if you keep it up." You said irritated he had finally started teasing you back more. You had messed up by constantly being a smartass to him. Now you were paying for it.

"I bite back." He gave you a small nip on your neck. You let out a squeak, turning around and pushing him back, causing him to laugh. He took your hands you had on his chest and held them tightly pulling you back into his chest.

"'M sorry. Couldn't help myself." He said through laughter but you pulled away from him. Quickly walking down the hallway without him following you.

"I'm going to call Sarah to let her know that you're an ass." You shook your head as you made your way into what you assumed was his bedroom.

You plopped down on your stomach on his bed that felt like a cloud. Your head resting on your hand as you shot Sarah a text that said you weren't going to be home til tomorrow morning. Which resulted in you getting a text with a string of very suggestive emojis as a reply. You rolled your eyes as you closed your message app and set your alarm for the next morning. The last thing you wanted to do was have Thea worrying about you not being home when she woke up in the morning.

"Could get used to this." Harry said from the doorway to the room. His arms crossed as he leaned against the door frame. He looked so content and happy in this moment that it almost took your breath away.

"Which part?" You asked as, sat up on your knees at the end of the bed, tucking your hair behind your ear, nervous about what he might say. He had a way of making you so comfortable at times and so on edge at others.

His brows furrowed as he thought over your question. Your hands fiddled together in your lap as you nervously chewed on your bottom lip. He went from carefree to guarded so quickly you weren't sure what he was about to say, not sure if you wanted to hear it.

It wasn't a second later and he was walking across the beautiful hardwood floors so gracefully you didn't understand how he could be a real person. His fingers laced through your hair as he pulled your face closer to his. His eyes locked onto your briefly then slowly scanning your face like he was studying you before silk soft lips connecting with yours. You could feel your anxiety dissipate as you held onto his forearms to keep yourself balanced.

Your heart already beating like crazy as you leaned taller on your knees, putting all your emotions you couldn't say yet into the kiss but he pulled away before you could deepen the it yet again and you would have been bitching about it if the words that came out of his mouth didn't almost stop your heart.

"All of it." He whispered softly. Your grip on his arms tightened. Your mind taking you back to the last time you were in a bedroom with him, confessing your feelings. The moment felt so breakable just like the last time. You could hear both of your shallow breathing as he took his time to explain what he meant. His fingers lacing tighter in your hair, gripping like he'd never let you go.

"You. Thea. Being with you two." He sucked in a deep breath. His forehead still resting against yours but his eyes were closed. You could feel his nervousness radiating off him. His whole body seemed to tense up the more honest he was with his feelings. His brows pulled close together like he was debating over his next words so carefully.

"You guys make me happy." He sighed as your hands rubbed his forearms reassuringly. His body instantly relaxing from your soft touch. The quiet wrapped around both of you as took him all in. Your forehead still pressed up against his and you wished he could hear all the thoughts you had running through your mind, too nervous about getting hurt again to say any of it out loud.

His soft brown curls brushed against your forehead as he took in deep calming breaths. His eyes still closed as your hand came up to rest on his cheek. Your thumb grazing against the rough stubble that was growing there. You wanted him to not worry about opening up to you but your heart and brain were fighting a war. You wanted him but you wanted to protect yourself from getting hurt ever again.

The turmoil inside your own mind quieted when he opened his usually bright green eyes. You could see a million emotions floating in them. You could look into those endless beautiful eyes for the rest of your life and be content.

"You make us happy too." You let a soft sigh escape your lips when you pushed them back against his. You relaxed into him. Your mind finally stopping the madness of fighting off your emotions when his arms wrapped around you, pulling you close to him.

Large hands pressed against your back, holding you so close you felt like you were seconds away from being absorbed completely by him. He everywhere around enveloped you. His tongue invading your mouth, his smell flooding your senses, hands rubbing and grabbing every part of you he could get a hold of.

Your arms wrapping around his neck, fingers running through his hair, holding onto the last bit of sanity you had.

"Need you." He breathed out, arms tightening around you. All you could do was nod, your ability to speak leaving you as your desire to be his took over.

He didn't need you words, his hands slowly running under your shirt and pulling it over you and off your body. Your lips only disconnecting for seconds before they were back together, there was no fighting for power this time. Your mind blanking as you ran on pure adrenaline and your growing need for him.

His knees came up on to the edge of the bed forcing you to move backwards. Trying your best to not fall over as his demanding hands were snapping your bra off you. You shrugged the beautiful red lace bra off your shoulders trying your best to throw it off the bed while still kissing him.

"Off." You demanded greedily pulling at the bottom of the shirts you loved see him in that were now in your way.

"Always so demanding." He smiled, taking off his cute sweater vest. His fingers unbuttoning each button on his shirt at an ungodly slow pace. Your eyes lingered on his hands as they took their time. His eyes never leaving the sight of you watching him so carefully. His chest rising from his slow deep breaths when his shirt finally hit the bed.

Your eyes moving over his tattoos on his stomach up to his chest and eventually back to his eyes. They were so blown with lust you almost couldn't see the green in them anymore. Gone was the softness in them, replaced with his need to have you.

You quickly made your way off the bed. Harry's brows furrowing from your sudden change in pace, turning to watch as you slipped your jeans down your legs. His eyes following them all the way down to the floor.

"Gonna sit there and look at me or you gonna lay down?" Your cocky smile across your face from his obvious staring.

He rolled his eyes but didn't say anything as he laid down, curious to see what you were going to do next. His back against the bed, resting on his elbows as he watched you crawl back onto the bed. Sitting yourself so perfectly over him. A leg on either side of his hips.

Your hands resting on his chest as you leaned down to kiss him. Your lips moving in perfect rhythm with each others like you'd been doing this for years not a few weeks. His hands on your back pulling your chest into his, the feel of his bare skin against your fueled the fire already burning in you.

You gave yourself time to enjoy kissing him the way you've been wanting to all night. Your tongue eagerly followed his every move, letting him lead the kiss the way he wanted to. Your legs tightening around his waist when he started shallow thrust of his hips, desperately trying to get any relief he could. You could feel his rock hard bulge against your now drenched underwear and a part of you was proud of yourself for holding out this long. Your mind running with all the things you wanted to do with him.

Your lips parted from his, making your way down his jaw, his neck, his chest, hitting every one of his sweet spots you'd found over the last few weeks along the way. His hands gripped tightly onto the yellow comforter the lower you went. Your hot breath fanning out, soft lips dragging over his skin every time you moved slightly to the next spot you wanted to leave a small kiss. Your thin fingers pulling down his zipper made him let out a breath, hands running through his hair. The corner of your mouth tugging up in a triumphant smile, the effect you had on him filling you with confidence.

You lifted your head up, looking him in his lust filled eyes as you took his pants and boxers down his legs, just enough to free his throbbing erection from it's tight confinement. A smirk on your lips as you caught sight of his chest heaving in deep breaths. Hands in his hair trying desperately to keep a grip on himself as your tongue ran along his hard member from his base all the way to his tip. Giving small kitten licks around his red pulsing tip. His erection twitching in your hand after every slight flick of your tongue. His eyes burning into yours when you finally took him fully into your mouth, slow, deliberate… teasing.

You only made it half way down him when he thrusted up into your mouth. You gagged around him causing a deep moan to come from him.

"Shit, sorry puppy." His hands wrapping in your hair, pulling it into a makeshift ponytail. His hands trying their best to not guide your movement, not that you would have minded if they did.

Your eyes didn't leave his as your hand took the part of him that wouldn't fit fully in your mouth. Harry's head laid back against the pillows, hands tightening to the point you started to get concerned when you hollowed your cheeks, your hand twisting slightly as you ran it up and down him, picking up your speed.

He was hot and heavy in your mouth. A distinct taste that was fully him filled you as you continued to push yourself to your limit. Deciding to remove your hand and try your best to take him all the way in now that you were a little more prepared for it.

His head instantly lifted off the pillow when you pulled your hand off him, giving the hand resting in your hair a slight push, trying to let him know you wanted him to take over. He must have gotten the hint cause a deep guttural groan vibrated through him.

His hand instantly shoved you fully down on him, hips bucking up into your mouth. You gagged only slightly greatly misjudging how much he was about to ruin your throat.

Your watering eyes never left him as he continued to move you how he wanted. His head thrown back as he fucked your throat relentlessly. Your beautiful red lace underwear drenched with your arousal, legs clenched tight together, hoping to get some sort of relief from the aching between your legs.

"Fuck." He pulled you off him so suddenly you were almost scared you had used too much teeth but as your chest heaved in deep breaths of much needed air you saw that same predatory look in his eyes that you saw the last time you were alone with him.

Your legs pressed together, a whimper coming from you. You needed him so badly you weren't even aware of him pulling you in for a kiss until his lips touched yours again. It was all tongues and clashing teeth. Gone was your perfect in sync movements, replaced with a fiery need for each other.

"Harry." You moaned out, arms wrapping tightly around his neck. The ever growing ache between your legs was unbearable. You needed him to do something about it. Your pleading eyes, meeting his again as he laid you down.

"I know baby." He said through the kisses he trailed down your neck. He didn't spend long teasing your weak spots before he settled in between your legs. His eyes wide as he took you all in, your underwear complete soaked through. In any other moment you might have been slightly embarrassed but you needed him so bad you didn't care. Your hands quickly going down and taking your own underwear off. Throwing them against a wall.

"Eager little thing." Harry mused as you put your legs back on the bed. One on either side of his face, bent slightly. Your whole body feeling like it was on fire from the desire burning through your veins. You didn't think seeing him get so lost in you would do this to you but now you needed him.

"Please." You begged, voice hoarse and ragged from the earlier abuse. You tried your best to hold onto the shred of decency you had left but your hips moved closer to his face almost against your will.

You could have cried when his fingers finally ran up your slit. A loud uncontainable moan ripped from your lungs, throat burning from the volume, head thrown back already choking for air.

"So pretty." Harry mumbled more to himself than you. You pulled yourself up to rest on your elbows, fingers desperately digging into the bedding. Your whole body tense from anticipation as he slightly pulled your lower lips apart, his hot breath hitting your sensitive bundle of nerves causing you to whimper in need.

"Gonna keep yer eyes on me puppy?" He asked, mouth so close to where you wanted him you're pretty sure he could have gotten you to agree to just about anything. Your head nodding so fast it made a small smirk come to his lips. He didn't seem to mind your lack of talking tonight, his warm tongue finally, finally, pushing out past his lips. Laying flat against your slit as he licked you in a way you'd never felt before.

You started to regret saying you'd keep your eyes on him as his tongue drew skilled patterns directly on your bundle of nerves. Your eyes momentarily shutting with your moan when he sucked lightly on your engorged clit. Your head getting lost in that fuzzy wonderful headspace but you were ripped out of it by the harsh slap on the inside of your leg. Making you yelp eyes narrowing down to Harry, wondering what you did.

"Eyes. On. Me." He said each word with such a finalized tone of voice you couldn't argue with him if you wanted to. You loved when he got into this mode. His usually sweet demeanor replaced with one with such authority it made your legs try to clench together, but Harry stopped them hands firmly pressed to the insides of both your legs.

"Be a good girl pup and I'll take good care of ya, yeh?" All you could do was nod in agreement. A soft laugh coming from him at your blatant craving from him. You wanted to tell him to go fuck himself if he was going to be like that but all desire to tell him off left your mind the second his mouth was back on you.

You didn't have to hold back on your moans this time. Which you were thankful for since his tongue was driving you crazy. Your arms shaking from how much you were struggling to stay propped up on them, fighting against every fiber of yourself that wanted to close your eyes in pleasure.

A sharp squeak ripped from you when he pushed both your legs to your chest, holding both of them in place with his large hands around the back of your thighs. Fingers digging so harshly into your silk skin you knew there was no way you wouldn't have bruises there tomorrow.

Your eyes widened as he moved to sit up on his knees, mouth still attached to your core. Everytime you ended up underneath him he never ceased to blow your mind with how well he could tell what you needed. His forearm rested across the back of both your thighs as his now free hand went to your drenched folds. His two fingers pushing into you.

He hummed against your clit as you were suddenly so close to your release. His marksman worthy digits hitting your sweet spot almost instantly. You were sure you wouldn't be able to keep your eyes open in a few moments. Your eyelids growing heavy with pleasure as he continued to thrust his fingers hitting exactly where you needed them every time.

A whine coming from you when he pulled away from you. So close to your much needed high that you saw it all crashing down around you.

"Harry." you panted out through shallow breaths. You couldn't believe he left you hanging like that, you needed him so bad you swore you were a second away from actually going crazy.

"Please, I'll be good." You whined out. So damn desperate you even surprised yourself. The smile that came across his face at your words was infuriating.

"Been so good pup but I need to be inside you before I explode on my bed like some teenager." You wanted to laugh but your current situation dripping onto his bed was stopping you from joking around. You needed him to shut up and fuck you.

"Ass up." He demanded letting your legs go so you scurry into the position he wanted you in. Your heart rate picked up the second his hand came to the back of your head and pushed up down into the pillows. His stomach laying across your back as he leaned down to your ear.

"Need ya like this, baby." He whispered into your ear, your body tensing up just at the sheer thought of what he was about to do. A shiver ran down your spine as his hands smoothed over the soft skin of your ass, taking his time. Soaking in the sight of you completely dripping and ready for him.

"Been wantin' ya like this since I saw ya prancing 'round in that fuckin' dress at Mitch's." A sharp slap on your ass made you jolt forward, moaning at the feeling of your tingling skin being soothed by warm hand.

Your core clenched around nothing as you felt him guide the tip of his erection against your bundle of nerves. You weren't sure how much more teasing you could put up with. You whined shifted backwards into him, needing him so badly it was all you could think about. Your mind blank on anything else but your desire for him.

He pushed into your warm slick channel, your walls instantly clamping down on him, pulling him in. Your face pushed deeper into the pillow at the feeling of finally getting what you need. Your moans hung in the air around you two as he slowly pulled out only to slam back into you.

"Fuck." You heard him from behind you a groan coming from deep in his chest as his hands smoothed over each of your ass cheeks slowly spreading you apart to get a better view of himself thrusting deep into you.

Another stinging slap on your ass followed by his hips snapping against yours again harshly had your face almost completely buried by the pillow. Hands wrapped tightly around it, holding on for life as you felt your mind grow fuzzy again. Your eyes closed soaking in the absolute pleasure of being so full of him. You couldn't hold back the moans pouring out of you even if you tried, the pillow muffling half of them.

"Need to hear you, pup." His arm wrapping around your shoulders bringing your back up to his chest. His lips at the crock of your neck while your hands cling to his forearm. Your nails digging into his flesh as he relentlessly pounded into you. You swore you were loosing feeling in your face and your voice was almost gone at this point. Your legs felt like they were going jello, about to collapse any second as your walls clenched around him again. You were so close you could feel the tears starting to well in your eyes.

"Close baby?" He whispered so softly it was a complete contradiction to what he was doing to you. His speed never slowly down. You felt like he was trying to fuck your soul out of your body.

All you could do was nod, head thrown back on his shoulder with a whine, hands still gripped onto his arm that was around you.

Your whole body tensing with the force of the orgasm building in you. You couldn't hold out any longer even if you tried. Your chest heaving in deep breaths you desperately needed. Feeling like you could actually pass out from pleasure when his fingers went to work circles around your clit.

"Harry!" You moaned out as your high hit you. Toes curling, nails dragging down his arm as you felt the strongest orgasm you'd ever had in your life. Your slick running down the both your legs only seemed to fuel his desire for you. His hips rolling against yours in short motions.

Your body slacked in his arms as your high dissipated. Your body would have fallen to the bed if it wasn't for his arm around your shoulders keeping you upright with him. Your face felt as numb as your mind when you slumped in his arms.

Harry moaned out your name as he finally stilled inside of you. The warmth of his release filling you.

He held you close for a few seconds breathing in deep calming breaths before laying you down on the bed, being sure to brush your hair out of your face before he pulled out of you. He rolled over on the bed directly beside, the bed bouncing slightly as he landed on it.

"Holy shit." He sighed out, his arm resting on his forehead, looking as fucked out as you felt. The throbbing between your legs replaced with a delicious soreness. Your whole body felt light still, your mind still buzzing from your release.

"Y'ruined my sheets." He laughed at you hiding your face in embarrassment, whining at the fact he had brought that up. You could feel your face burning, ears turning red. You'd never done that before and as good as it felt you weren't used to it.

"Shut up." You groaned, face nuzzling deeper into the pillow. Your arms clinging onto it when he pulled your body into his. Cuddling up to your back. Both your chest rising and falling in sync together as his hand ran up and down your side, shiver going down your spine at the feeling.

You both were too exhausted to do anything other than lay there. Taking in the feeling of being wrapped up together. You felt your eyes start to drift shut, growing heavy from your exhaustion.

"Y'should be mine." He heard is soft voice speak from behind you, his nose nuzzled in your hair. Your brain still foggy with exhaustion, body still limp.

"Hmm?" You asked, not moving from your spot, too tired to do much of anything.

"Y'should be mine." He said again his lips pressing lightly to your shoulder. Lingering there as a smile broke across your face.

"Already am." You sighed using the rest of your strength to turn around to look at him. His eyes burning into yours as you smiled at him. Your hand resting on his chest, thumb tracing lightly over the tattoos there.

You honestly thought you were so transparent to him. Your heart was already his, he just had to say it. Admit that he wanted this too. You were already there, ready to give up fighting your feelings for him.

"Then 'm yours." 

#Harry Styles #Harry #Harry Styles x Reader #Harry Styles x Y/N #Harry Styles x You #Harry Styles Fanfic #Harry Styles Fanfiction #Fanfic #fanfiction #writing #mine #LYHD

[h-x-l-p-l-e-s-s]

ABC Fanfic Challenge

B - Birthday

A/N:

(Written 12/23/2020 - 12/23/2020)

Comparing this to the last fanfic, I tried to make this as short as possible. I'm not much of a fanfic writer, I'm a reader.

I do this for fun, yes, I take criticism but I don't take it to heart.

Also, this chapter mentions Kidz Bop, Anthony Ramos, and the Hamilcast. Consider checking them out on Spotify or whatever you use to listen to music! (I wouldn't recommend listening to Kidz Bop unless you're between the ages of 0-8.)

Word Count: 1.5k (15 Pages on Google Docs)

Warning: Profanity

Pairing: Thomas Jefferson x James Madison (?)

"Alright, alright! Everyone look up here!" A short person yelled as he stood on top of a table. "We have about forty minutes until Tommy comes back!"

"Woah, Woah, Woah James you said Thomas comes back at 2 PM, and it's ten right now." An identical man corrected.

"I'm planning this with some of the most easily distracted people my age, the way you all mess around, we'll be down to forty minutes." James' response was true. Lafayette + John + Hercules + Alex = chaos.

"Alex is the only one who'll mess around, we all know how much he hates Thomas." Hercules pointed toward Alex, who was staring at James' Alexa.

"Don't tell me he's having a staring contest with Alexa." James' facial expression was unimpressed as he mumbled that. "We're fucked."

"Mon Ami, if you think that's bad, you should've seen him and Siri have a staring contest yesterday," Lafayette whispered, which made James a bit more unimpressed.

"Jesus fucking Christ." James got up and announced everyone's roles. "Burr and Laf, I want you two to open that box over there." James pointed at a black box. It was labeled, "gay shit".

"There are decorations in there, balloons, ribbons, and more. I want you two to just toss them in random places." Lafayette nodded, Burr did too.

"Gay shit though?" Lafayette thought to himself before blowing the first balloon.

"Girls..." James looked at Eliza, Peggy, Maria, Angelica, and Theodosia. "...I want you five to clean his room. It'll make him happy."

"Why'd you choose us out of anyone else?" James shrugged after Maria asked that. Not wanting to create conflict, they walked upstairs towards Thomas's room.

"And... you three. John and Alex, you see those boxes over there? All of his presents are in there, wrap them." And just like that, only Hercules was left.

"And you're gonna help me bake a cake, let's go." Alex ran towards James to ask him something.

"What type of shit party is this? No music?" James groaned as a response.

"Way ahead of you! Alexa! Play Kidz Bop 36!" Peggy yelled from upstairs.

"Playing Congratulations by Kidz Bop Kids." Everyone in the house except for John and Peggy screamed in agony.

"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! My Momma called, seen you on TV, son! Said things done changed-" Peggy and John sang.

"He's turning seventeen, not seven!" James yelled.

"Alexa, play Anthony Ramos."

"Playing 'Stop' by Anthony Ramos."

"Thank you, James." Alex hugged him and ran towards the wrapping paper.

"You can't even compare this to Kidz Bop." John began to wrap presents. "This is much worse than it."

"How the fuck do you not like this type of music?" Lafayette asked, kind of dancing. "The chorus gives me chills!"

"Kidz Bop is better, man." The first present was complete, there were about a hundred left.

"Alexa, play Thomas's Liked Songs on Spotify," Alex said sarcastically but was greeted with songs that Thomas had liked.

"Don't tell me this man listens to anime openings," Burr yelled while throwing ribbons around.

"I hate Thomas a lot, but I respect the man for listening to Boku No Hero Academia music." The second present was wrapped as Alex said that.

"Laf and Alex are gonna start singing any moment now, Burr, record this." Burr grabbed his phone as John said that.

"We're not gonna sing." Laf ensured. "We're just gonna clap in our heads, right, Lex?" Lafayette was left with no response.

John and Alex shook each box before wrapping it, trying to guess what was in it. Lafayette blew each balloon while Burr handled the ribbons.

"FUCK!" A voice from the kitchen yelled.

"That sounded like Herc, I guess he burnt himself." Alex began laughing hysterically.

"ALEXA PLAY LIN-MANUEL MI-" Hercules yelled but was overlapped by James.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Eliza walked down the stairs, covering her ears.

"Welcome to the chaos." John waved. Eliza waved back.

"Alexa, play The Hamilcast." Alexander raised an eyebrow.

"Is this considered a fourth wall break?" She chuckled and walked away as if nothing happened.

"Hamilcast, eh? Does that mean you're involved in it?" Lafayette looked at Alexander, but he seemed as baffled as ever.

"I've never heard of 'Hamilcast' in my lif-" Alex was cut off by his phone ringing.

John, who was closer to his phone, grabbed it. "Who's Hairy Kiwi?" He interrogated.

"Ugh, it's Jefferson. Lemme see what he wants." He took his phone from John and answered it.

"911, what's your emergency?" Alex asked, he sounded like he had no emotion.

"Alex, you ain't funny," Jefferson yelled over the phone.

"Sir, you may have the wrong number." Everyone except Alex began to chuckle.

"Alex, why the fuck are you at my house?"

"Sir, you have the wrong number. My name is Samuel."

"Alex I will crack these fucking Cheetos for you to scoot up with the Roomba."

"The hell is that supposed to mean?" Alexander asked, losing his emotionless tone.

"Why are you at Jamesy's house anyway?!" Thomas asked as if he were about to murder Alex.

"Why are you in my contacts? Some questions will never be answered. What do you want anyway?"

"To talk to Jamesy. He posted a picture on Instagram with all of you there but when I tried to call him he was busy."

"And you couldn't have called Burr or Laf or anyone else that likes you?"

"Give. James. The. Goddamn. Phone." Alex walked towards the kitchen, groaning.

"An angry kiwi wants to talk to you." Alex slammed his phone on the counter and left the room. "How does he have a boyfriend and I can't even get a call returned?!"

Meanwhile, in Thomas' bedroom, the girls are figuring out if there's anything else to clean.

"Honestly, there wasn't much garbage in here." Peggy put a water bottle inside of a trash bag and closed it.

"It's Thomas we're talking about." Eliza wiped his mirror down. "He's one of the only people we know who'll try his hardest to keep his room clean."

"True, true," Peggy replied. Each girl picked up a plastic bag. Each bag was the same size as a Walmart bag.

"Hey, guys!" John waved at each girl as they walked downstairs.

"Hello!" Eliza waved back.

"MOTHERF-" Hercules noticed Eliza, Angelica, and Theodosia walk into the kitchen, throwing away the bags. "...reaker."

"Ignore him, I told him to wear oven mitts but he refused to wear some." Madison grabbed chocolate frosting and cheese.

"Don't tell me you're putting cheese on the cake." Theodosia gagged.

"We're talking about Thomas. I'm making homemade Mac and Cheese for him." Madison poured the cheese inside a measuring cup and poured it into the pot with pasta.

"Ah, okay." The three girls sighed in relief.

"So, is there anything else we could do?" Angelica grabbed sprinkles and candles.

"Maybe Theo and Angel could help us cook and bake?" Hercules suggested, and Madison agreed.

"Yeah, you two can help us, especially him." Madison gazes at Hercules and his burnt fingers. "No problem!" Angelica and Theodosia said simultaneously.

"Eliza, can you, Pegs, and Maria help Alex and John wrap the presents?" Madison noticed Eliza nod her head as she sprinted towards Alex, jumping on him.

"What?" He asked as he slowly let her down. He couldn't handle someone who was almost taller than him to pounce on his back.

"Oh, nothing. We're just here to help you two." Peggy and Maria grabbed the wrapping paper as Eliza grabbed a present from Alex.

Hours had passed, everyone became tired of this. Their motivation at this point was the notion that this will be over in a matter of minutes.

The cake was completed, but barely. Hercule's fingers looked like Twix bars, except burnt. Angelica's hair was frizzier than usual. The only thing that calmed the gift wrappers up was the podcast playing in the background.

"This too shall pass as Shakespeare once said. Oh, wait, no, wasn't that in the Bible? It's all gone to shit." John thought to himself.

5

The lights were turned off, the only light in the room was the fading sunlight.

4

Everyone hit in separate locations. Burr, Theodosia, and Angelica were behind the living room couch. Lafayette, Hercules, Alex, and John were cramped under the coffee table. Eliza, Maria, and Peggy were behind a wall. Washington, who had just arrived two minutes ago, was in the kitchen. James was sitting outside reading fanfictions on Wattpad.

3

"I wonder if anyone is gonna kill anyone in the dark." Alexander wondered, looking around.

2

James kissed Thomas as he opened the front door.

SURPRISE!

"Jamesy, you're always doing the unnecessary, I love you for that."

#hamilton #hamilton fanfic #jeffmads fanfic #jeffmads fanfiction #jeffmads #hamilton: the musical #hamilton: an american musical

[dem-cp-hoes]

Sorry to bother you, but can you do some wholesome/cute head canons for the creepypastas please?

You're not bothering at all, no worries😊

Though I think these turned out to be general hc rather than cute but... 🤷‍♀️

---------------------------------------------------

Jeff:

I think it's pretty much canon that Jeff names his knives. Most people would think that he gives them badass names but nah...

His favorite is named Martha, no one else is allowed to touch her

There's also Kule, Austin and Annie, sometimes he talks to them (mostly about Liu)

No, you can't point it out/comment on it, it'll upset him

Smile is his best friend, Ben is jealous

His hair gets curly after a few days, which means he has to straighten it with an iron

He also puts his hair buns, or ponytails around the house (he looks good tbh)

^the reason he always has hair ties as well

He's either dead asleep or hasn't slept for 4 days straight, there's no in-between

Not a total asshole all the time, surprisingly

He doesn't make mean comments about things that hit too close to home

Like, sure he's gonna tease Toby for his ticks but he's never gonna mention his sister

He makes up his own curse words

He puts on chapstick, but no one knows

Everyone knows, they've seen him, Ben has a video

He talks during movies, questioning the logic and making comments about characters' decisions, nobody minds bc it's hilarious since everything he says is on point

He drinks the sweetest coffee with milk and 3 spoonfuls of sugar at least

Loves romantic movies, but he has a reputation

Has a small cactus in his room, it was a gift from Ben, he takes good care of it

Ben:

He has freckles!!! He has freckles everywhere!!! (sorry I got excited, I just love freckles) but bc of the whole dead/demon thing, you have to get close to him of you want to see them

Owns a lot of fandom themed hoodies and t-shirts

He can mimic a lot of cartoons' voices, including the jigglypuff song, it's quite impressive

He's very proud of it

Ben is a genius, since he's mostly attached to a computer he has access to anything the internet has to offer, so lots of knowledge

Sometimes he can answer like Alexa/Siri does if someone calls his name and asks something

The others think he can't control it and ask him things all the time

He absolutely can control it and only does it to fuck with them by giving them bullshit answers that sound legit

He collects action figures, what a dork

Has a hamster, his name is Picachu

He gets teased a lot over it, let him live pls

The others secretly love it tho

Loves to watch people argue through their cameras

He lives for the drama

"Ben what are u doing?" "I'm watching this couple in New Jersey, apparently Sharon cheated on Nick again, but this time with his sister!!!"

When he giggles/gets embarrassed his ears become bright red

Sits on the floor, sits on tables, sits on Jane, Slender is convinced he doesn't know what a chair is

Jack:

Any perfume with a very heavy scent makes him sneeze a lot

He refuses to believe he is hurt/sick

Jack, while being held down by all the proxies: Guys, I told you I'm fINE, I CAN WORK TODAY, JUST LET ME GO!!

He has a lot of animal mannerisms

Like licking someone he likes on the cheek, purring/growling, sniffing etc

Bruh, you scratch behind his ears or under his chin and his whole chest vibrates with purring

He tilts his head on the side when he's confused, like a dog

Loves scented candles, he has a bunch of them in his room

His favorite scent is lavender

He can in fact eat human food, it just can't sustain him all that well and anything that is not overly seasoned tastes bland

With that being said, he loves spicy food bc he can taste it properly

Jane screamed when she saw him eat an entire plate of ghost peppers with no milk

The jingle of keys makes his head turn sharply towards the sound, once again like a dog

He can fall asleep anywhere, and I mean anywhere

The porch? More than once

In another's room? Of course

In slender's office? That was quite an interesting thing to explain

In the middle of the kitchen? Yeah, once

He's just a sleepy boi

Jack is the one who knows everyone's ticklish spots bc gives check ups

Likes listening to audio books on his free time

Masky:

He drinks Irish coffee (for those of you who don't know, it has alcohol in it)

Once Masky called Slender dad (sleep deprived) and then proceeded to slam his head down on the table and say a bad word

Sally once made him a flower crown for his birthday

He refused to take it off for 5 hours!!

Won't sleep with less than 2 pillows

He considers his one True near death experience to be when he almost choked on one of Jane's fake eyelashes (long story)

He has mastered the 'disapproving face' game', even when he wears the mask, you can feel it's there

He's around Toby, what did you expect?

Doesn't trust giraffes ("why are they so fucking long????")

He has a very contagious laugh when he really laughs, even when he just grins

Can give the best hugs, hands down

Like you feel so warm and protected when he hugs you

And it doesn't help the fact that he smells like the forest after a rainy day.... (now I want a hug)

Hoodie:

He has dirt on everyone

Mainly bc he's quiet and reliable so people tell him stuff

Has Masky saved in his phone as 'Bae' and when people see it they ask, "Is he your boyfriend?"

And he replies with, "Nah, it stands for Biggest Asshole Ever"

Drinks tea by the gallon

Reigning champion of "How many objects can we put on Jeff while he sleeps"

Hoodie has those "hoe don't do it" moments pretty much every day

Jeff trying to start shit, Ben is planning a prank on someone, someone insulted Slender. Every time

Award winning smile

His hair is the softest thing ever I swear-

Will make tea for anyone he sees that's having a rough day

He likes to sketch people, he's actually pretty good

He likes to read books to calm down

If someone wants to he will read out loud to them

Toby:

Don't give him energy drinks

It won't make him hyper, oh no, but it will make him do dumb shit

Once, Helen made the mistake of handing him a red bull, and let's just say he was found playing a mix between 'the floor is lava' and 'don't let the balloon touch the floor'

It was intense

President of Protect the Bees and very proud of it

Will follow through with literally any dare, he takes impulsivity to new levels

Will let Sally do his hair and dress him up to play princess

That friend who sends you fucking memes at 3am just to be a prick

It's easy to get him flustered, especially if someone flirts with him

He is obsessed with sour sweets, not even he knows why

There's no such thing as personal space, he's comfortable around everyone

Gets excited when he sees a cartoon on tv from when he was a kid

Places the stickers Sally gives him on the headboard of his bed

He knows how to say, "can I pet your dog?" in 4 languages

#Creepypasta #Creepypasta Headcanon #Jeff the killer #Ben Drowned #Eyeless Jack #Masky #Hoodie #Ticci Toby

[deathsteel]

30 day fanfic challenge

Prompt #22 - Funeral

TW: canonical child death, not as sad as it seems, Dean is kinda a jerk at first

Okay, maybe it wasn’t classy to crash funerals. But Dean had never claimed to be terribly classy. 

What he did claim to be was a great actor who could make himself cry on demand and the proud owner of one very well fitted suit that was perfect for mourning. 

It started by accident, really. Dean had shown up for the funeral of one of his friend’s grandmother’s cousins intending to comfort the grandmother who’d always loved Dean and never forgotten his birthday, not even once. And he had ended up at an unexpectedly decadent funeral for a 98 year old multi-millionaire that happened to be being thrown the day after. Since he’d missed the funeral he’d intended to attend, Dean figured ‘fuck it’ and proceeded to enjoy the expensive free food and murmured condolences of the deceased’s foxy granddaughters. 

The second time he did it may have been less accidental and Dean cried both for Muriel who had died at the ripe old age of 102 as well as for the organic chemistry test he had just bombed. It was so cathartic that he was hooked, a junky even. 

He stopped going on dates because flirting with the widow or widower and coaxing a smile out of them was so much more appealing than sitting through the awkward get-to-know-you conversation of a first date. The emotional release of crying onto a stranger’s shoulder had nothing on getting blackout drunk and Dean found more and more of his social life being spent in funeral homes and cemeteries than in bars. 

Until he accidentally walked into a funeral without doing his research first. Which, typically he did so much research so that he could pull off pretending to be the second cousin once removed or the mentee that the family never knew their loved one had mentored, but today he’d been busy and distraught over getting a rejection letter to his first choice for his doctoral program so he’d just picked out a funeral from a random obit and darted out the door. 

So he wasn’t expecting...this. A funeral for a kid. 

Dean had never gone to a funeral for a kid, something about the grief of a life snuffed out too soon had seemed too raw for Dean to be able to fake. It had felt much more disrespectful to crash those funerals than the ones for people who had lived a long and full and fascinating life. 

It also seemed pretty evident to everyone else in attendance that Dean was in the wrong place. First, he was waaaay over dressed. Everyone else was wearing colorful clothing ranging from Hawaiian shirts to garish tye-dye and Dean’s black on black ensemble stuck out like a sore thumb. Secondly, Dean appeared to be the only one affecting an air of solemnity. In fact, the entire funeral home had been decked out to resemble a circus complete with juggling clowns and a guy making balloon animals. There was popcorn and a cotton candy machine and even a girl in a Hawaiian shirt carrying around a pair of parrots on her shoulders. 

Dean intended to turn on his heel and march right back out, but it looked like some family member was already making their way towards Dean- a tall woman with short brown hair and a face that looked like it was meant to smile, which it was even if her eyes were not.

“Hello there,” The woman said, reaching out to take Dean’s hand and hold it in both of her own. “Thank you so much for coming, I don’t think we got to meet ever. My husband spent the nights at the hospital, so I don’t recognize all of the nurses. I’m Jody, Owen’s mom, thank you for coming.”

“Um, yea, Dean,” he muttered in reply, giving his real name when he never EVER usually did. But he was so caught off guard he didn’t know what else to do.

“I’m sorry about the change in dress code,” Jody said with a laugh, gesturing to the long rainbow plaid dress she was wearing. “Sean said Owen would’ve liked it. He didn’t like for things to be boring, you know?”

Dean nodded, swallowing past the lump in his throat as he mentally planned his escape. He was an asshole and this was it, this was the last time he crashed without doing his research first. 

“Well, anyway,” Jody continued, looking over Dean’s shoulder as another few mourners milled into the room. “Please enjoy yourself and have fun.” 

Dean breathed a sigh of relief as the woman moved away, running a hand through his hair as he looked around the room. He’d hang for ten minutes and then duck out so it wouldn’t look so suspicious. 

“You don’t work for the hospital,” A deep voice announced next to Dean causing him to jump and spin guiltily towards the source. 

He found himself face to face with the guy who had been making balloon animals not even five minutes ago. A distant part registered that the man was attractive, like truly unf, but a more sane part of Dean realized that he was about to have his cover blown by a hot dude wearing rainbow suspenders. 

“Uh, yea I do?” Dean asked, trying to convince even himself. 

“No you don’t,” the man said, narrowing his blue eyes at Dean in suspicion. “Because I work at the hospital and I know everyone who ever set foot into Owen Mill’s room and you do not work at the hospital. 

Fuck. 

Dean weighed his options for a long moment before deciding he was well and truly powned. “Listen, dude. I didn’t realize this was a funeral for a kid okay. I don’t normally do this kind of thing. I’m gonna leave, just don’t make a scene okay?” 

“Right,” the other man said slowly, his eyes and voice conveying how very little he bought Dean’s bullshit. “Take that jacket off and give it here. Make sure your phone and stuff are in your jacket.”

“Uh...excuse me?” Dean asked as he reached for the buttons on his suit jacket, loading his keys, wallet, and phone into the pockets before he handed it over to the other man and allowed himself to be led deeper into the room where the funeral was being held. 

“Our nurse who signed up for the dunk tank is sick,” the balloon guy explained, stopping beside a large dunk tank that was situated on a blue tarp in one corner of the room; he patted the tank meaningfully before turning back towards Dean. “You man the dunk tank and I won’t rat you out.”

“What!?” Dean choked, looking at the slightly murky water and then back down at his fairly expensive suit. 

The other man just raised an eyebrow at Dean and stayed silent, his full lips pursing just slightly to hold back what Dean strongly suspected was a triumphant smirk. 

“Ugh okay,” Dean groaned, throwing up his hands as he made his way towards the dunk tank’s ladder and toed off his shoes. “For the kids.”

“Always for the kids,” the other man agreed, moving to the side of the tank where the bullseye was and taking up his role of barker with what Dean felt like was too much enthusiasm. “Dunk the Dummy! Step right up and Dunk the Chump!”

Quiet a few dunks later, Dean was soaked and shivering and vowing that he would never crash another funeral when the other man came back up to him with an apologetic grin and a towel. 

“Thanks,” Dean muttered sarcastically as he took the towel and wrapped it around himself. 

“Maybe you won’t crash any more funerals,” Balloon guy admonished only slightly apologetically. “Seriously, I clocked you as soon as you walked in. And you’re lucky it was me instead of a pissed off parent.”

“You go to a lot of funerals?” Dean asked as he roughed the towel over his dripping hair. 

“Call it a work related hazard,” the other man replied with a grim smile. “But hey, it gave me a reason to learn balloon art and it makes the kids happy when most of the kids I see don’t have much to be happy about.”

Dean nodded in understanding, figuring he’d shove his whole leg in his mouth since his foot had already seemed to take up permanent residence there. “So uh...how did you know this kid anyway?”

“I was his oncologist,” the other man replied evenly, nodding at Dean’s self-recriminating wince. “So yea, man--”

“Dean,” he offered, cutting across the other man because it felt like he owed it to the doctor by that point. 

“Dean,” the man said, with an incline of his head. “I’m Castiel. Just uh, do me a favor. Stop crashing funerals okay? It's pretty damn disrespectful.”

“Absolutely,” Dean promised, crossing his heart with the tip of his index finger. “I’m a changed man, I promise.”

“Great,” Castiel replied, rolling his eyes indulgently. “Have a good day Dean, thanks for coming.”

Dean nodded, handing the other man back the soggy towel in exchange for his jacket and his shoes that he picked up instead of putting them on over his dripping socks. 

“But hey, Dean,” Castiel called as Dean started away. “If you ever want to take another turn at the dunk tank, you can look me up at St. Mary’s.”

“Right,” Dean said with a nod at the other man, turning to leave again before Castiel could see his blush. 

His funeral crashing days were most definitely over, but maybe his tank dunking days had just begun.

#30 day fanfic challenge #fic writing #funeral #destiel #destiel fanfic #spn

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Acting Your Age (Part 8)

Summary: Jensen and the reader are living together full time now and they start to explore what that means for the rest of their relationship...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 5,000ish

Warnings: language, age gap, implied smut

____

“Jensen,” you said, giving him a big hug when he trudged out of the bedroom in Austin the morning after you got home from your trip. “Jensen…”

“Yes my dear?” he chuckled, walking into the kitchen with a laugh.

“Happy Birthday!” you said, Jensen laughing at all of the balloons and streamers you put up.

“Aw, thank you, honey,” he said, kissing your temple. “I’m so glad I managed to get an extra day off work.”

“Okay, so I know you didn’t want anything for your birthday but I may have totally gotten you an amazeballs present,” you said.

“Oh really? What’s that?” he asked.

“Surprise!” echoed through the house, Jensen jumping slightly as his family and some of his friends popped out from the hallways and the TV room. 

“You got me,” he laughed. “Not too many people throw a birthday party at ten on a Saturday after all.”

“Well why doesn’t the birthday boy get dressed and we can celebrate?” you said.

After a few hours, Jensen’s surprise pool party started to dwindle down and you were itching to take him to his last surprise. Jensen figured it out pretty fast when you brought a towel, dog collar and leash with you, Jensen smiling when you pulled into the animal shelter parking lot.

“Ready?” you asked. He nodded and you went inside, following the staff into the back, Dean looking healthier than the last time you’d seen him. 

“Oh, poor baby,” said Jensen, kneeling down outside the pen Dean was hiding in the back of. “Is his skin okay?”

“Yes. The fur will grow back. The vet had to shave him down in some places so we could fix him up,” she said. She opened the door, the dog staying the back. “Dean, these are your new parents.”

The dog whined and Jensen got to his feet, going inside a little closer before he sat down.

“Hi Dean,” said Jensen, holding out his hands in front of him. The dog whined again but Jensen sat there patiently. “You come over when you’re ready.”

The dog turned it’s back to him, staying that way for close to five minutes before it turned around. It carefully walked over to him, giving him big puppy dog eyes before it bumped his hands with his nose. He did it a few more times and licked his finger, Jensen very slowly moving his hands and petting him.

The dog whimpered the second it was touched but quickly stopped when Jensen pulled away. They did that for a few moments before the dog climbed in his lap and rested his head on his leg.

“You want to go home, Dean?” he asked, running his hand carefully over the dog’s body. He didn’t make any sound so he carefully stood up with him. “Alright. Let’s bust you out of this joint.”

“You’re such a smart boy,” cooed Jensen when you were home, Dean wagging his tail nonstop as he looked around. “I can’t believe he’s potty trained.”

“I can’t believe people could hurt a poor animal,” you said.

“I know,” he said, sitting on the floor, Dean immediately running over and hopping into his lap. 

“I think you make him feel safe,” you said.

“You feel safe, baby?” he asked, the dog already going to sleep. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“I bet you’d make a really good dad,” you said. He smiled, glancing away for a moment. “We’ve never talked about kids, have we.”

“That’s a pretty serious conversation,” he said. 

“We don’t have to have it right now,” you said, taking a seat on the floor beside him. 

“Asking you to move in...that’s not…” he said, pursing his lips. “I swore to myself I’d never live with a woman again unless I thought…”

“Jensen. I know six months is not the longest time for a relationship. I’m not asking where you see us five years from now-”

“Right here,” he said. “Maybe some more roommates.”

“I’d be happy with that,” you said. “Roommates.”

“Hypothetically...kiddo, I know you’ve never carried about the age difference. I know. But kids with me...I will be in my sixties when they graduated high school. I’d be seventy by the time marriage happened, if they even got married younger. I may never see that or grandchildren. Honey, there are good odds that I would go out while you’re still some hot sixty something year old,” he said.

“Way to make it morbid,” you said, looking out through the back doors to the porch. 

“We never talked about it but it’s the reality of our situation,” he said. 

“You could die in a car accident tomorrow. So could I,” you said, Jensen lifting his chin. “That’s like saying not to live life because someday it gets taken away. I hate to break it to you but nobody makes it out alive. We have no idea how the rest of our lives will go, Jay. I got an idea of who I’d like to spend it with though, however long it ends up being.”

“Y/N. I want you to pick me when it ends up being that time. You have no idea how bad I want that. All I want is you to consider those things so you end up happy. That’s all I was trying to say,” he said. You scooted closer to him, his head turning to face you.

“You want me to be happy? Even if it wasn’t with you?” you asked.

“Yes,” he said quietly.

“You’re my best fucking friend. I’ve never been this happy in my life,” you said. “I don’t care how old you ever get, Ackles. We’re gonna be the ones causing havoc in the nursing home when we get there but until then, I don’t want to go anywhere.”

“You’re my best friend too,” he said, resting his head on your shoulder.

“You want kids?” you asked.

“I was thinking one. How many were you thinking?”

“Three,” you said, a chuckle coming from him. “Too many?”

“Two?” he asked.

“We have time to figure that out,” you said with a smile.

“You want to figure it out someday?” he smiled.

“Yeah,” you said. “Do you?”

“With you, yeah. Yeah, I want to,” he said. You gave him a kiss when you felt something move onto your lap, Dean sprawling out half on top of each of you. 

“He wants us both. That’s adorable,” you said.

“I talked to one of the people at the shelter while you were signing Dean’s paperwork. They said you walked in there a few weeks ago and when they asked what kind of dog you were looking for, you asked for the one that’d been there the longest,” he said. “No one wanted him because of the vet bills and how scared he was of everything. He didn’t scare you though.”

“What can I say, I have a soft spot for Dean’s,” you said.

“I wish I could stay here with you and Dean,” he said, resting his forehead against yours. “I’ve got two months of work left and then the bed and breakfast is going to pick up and-”

“And you’re not doing it alone,” you said. 

“I know,” he said quietly, giving your waist a squeeze. “I haven’t been in a long time.”

Two Months Later

“Guess who’s home, Dean?” you said when Jensen pulled into the driveway from the airport. Dean took off out the front door and ran over to the car, jumping up as Jensen got out. “Is daddy home?”

“Oh I missed you too,” said Jensen, bending over and giving him a hug. You walked out the door and walked outside, Jensen smiling as he pulled out a bundle of flowers from behind his back. “Pretty flowers for the pretty girl?”

“I’m so happy you’re home again,” you said, giving him a big hug. “Also, I have some big news.”

“What’s your big news?” he asked.

“The house I did for Jared and Gen’s friends...it’s going to be featured in Architectural digest. Cover story,” you said.

“Seriously? That’s amazing. We should go out tonight to celebrate,” he said. 

“They want to interview me. They never let us do that sort of thing when I worked in a firm,” you said.

“You’re gonna knock it out of the park,” he said, picking you up. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Afh!” yipped Dean, pawing at Jensen’s sneaker.

“You proud too?” he asked, Dean barking again. “Your boys are proud, kiddo.”

“I haven’t done anything yet,” you said as he set you down.

“Yes you did,” he said, bumping his nose against yours. “So does the star designer have the time to help me with my little bed and breakfast still?”

“Duh,” you said. “Once the place is fixed up, I can’t wait to get in there.”

“You know the house, our house...what’s some stuff you’d like? We got so busy with everything, we kind of put that on hold and it’s your house too,” he said.

“Honestly, it’s very beautifully done. The only thing I don’t really like is your office space,” you said.

“The den?” he asked as you nodded. “I never remodeled that room. It had a built in desk. I only ever go in there to do bills or brewery stuff.”

“It’s just...blah. It doesn’t fit with the rest of the house really,” you said.

“Why don’t you redecorate? You need the space more than I do,” he said.

“Are you sure?” you asked.

“Yeah. Make it your own,” he said. “Just give me a desk to work at every once in a while and I’m good.”

“Maybe I’ll tackle that next week then,” you said.

“Oh no. Next week you’re hanging out with me and Dean by the pool. I’ve been looking forward to some lazy time for weeks.”

“Hey,” said Jared, popping into the backyard later that day. You were reading a book by the pool, Jensen and Dean passed out for a nap under some shade in the hammock. 

“Hey, Jare,” you said, setting your book aside when he sat down on the chair next to you, giving you a smile. “What?”

“Kids trip. The siblings and spouses. I told you that you get to pick this year,” he said. “It’s coming up soon and I haven’t heard anything about if we got seven or eight going.”

“Are you sure you guys want me to go? It’s always been your thing,” you said. 

“We love you. We all love you. It’s our thing. We never pushed before because you were always doing internships or were working overseas but I’m putting my foot down this year,” he said.

“Okay,” you said, leaning back in your chair.

“Is Jensen coming?” he asked.

“Yeah, he’s coming,” you said. Jared was quiet for a beat, your head turning to the side. “What?”

“I never thought the person that helped me would end up helping you too,” he said.

“He’s a pretty good best friend,” you said, Jared chuckling.

“You’re good for him too. I’ve never seen him this way,” he said.

“Is this where I thank you for setting us up?” you asked.

“I’m happy you two are happy is all,” he said. “And Dean’s very happy he has you two.”

“We were thinking maybe someday Dean can get a little brother,” you teased.

“Oh my God. Don’t get a dog named Sam,” he laughed.

“We didn’t pick his name. Must have been fate,” you said, looking across the yard, Dean rolling over onto his back between Jensen’s legs. “They’re so cute.”

“The dog is. Jensen is hideous,” he said.

“I think your diseased face rubbed off on him,” you said.

“So many comments I can make,” he laughed. “I just came over to check up on you. You guys are invited to dinner at our place, sometime around six? Dean’s invited too.”

“I’m sure we’ll be over,” you said. “We can talk about vacation.”

“Sounds good, Y/N.”

One Month Later

“Well if that’s not the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen,” said Jensen when you walked out of your hotel bathroom. You looked down at your dress, Jensen smirking to himself.

“Oh, you can take it off later,” you laughed. “It’s just a dress.”

“Pretty dress,” he said.

“Are you all set to head out?” you asked.

“My phone, my wallet. Your phone, your wallet,” he said, pointing at his back pocket before holding up his wrist. “Emergency hair tie.”

“I’m so keeping you,” you said.

“I’m so okay with that,” he said.

“Like totally okay?”

“Like super totes okay,” he chuckled.

“You look handsome,” you said, taking him in. He was wearing a pair of white pants and one of his usual light blue button downs he wore for dates, his hair a bit fluffier than normal. “Floofy.”

“I know you like it like that,” he said, smiling as you stepped into your sandals. “Ready?”

“Mhm. Let’s go catch up with the other guys.”

“It’s beautiful here,” you said after dinner, you and Jensen walking along the path on the edge of the resort by the beach, your siblings all hanging back at the restaurant still.

“Yes, it is,” he said. “Reminds me of Hawaii almost.”

“It was beautiful there too,” you said. 

“We can go back someday,” he said.

“I don’t need fancy trips, Jay,” you said.

“I know,” he said. “But I like the memories.”

“Me too,” you said, his hand brushing yours lightly before he took it and laced your fingers together. “I love you.”

“I love you,” he said shyly, slowing his walk. 

“Y/N?” you heard. You spun around, Jensen frowning beside you when you saw a guy round the corner on the path. 

“Gavin?” you said, scrunching up your face.

“British douche?” said Jensen.

“Excuse me, mate, but I am not a douche,” he said, turning to you. “Wow. You’re still with this guy?”

“Get lost Gavin. You had your chance,” you said, turning to leave with Jensen when you heard Gavin mumble behind you, Jensen planting his feet.

“What did you just say to her?” growled Jensen.

“I called her a whore, as she is,” he said. Jensen shook his head and you felt his grip on your hand tighten. “Mate, this one only wants one thing.”

“Don’t make the mistake of insulting my girlfriend twice,” he said, narrowing his eyes.

“Jensen, let’s go. Forget about him,” you said.

“She doesn’t care, mate,” said Gavin.

“I’m not your mate, buddy,” said Jensen. “You know what? Thank you for fucking it up because now, I have an amazing woman I love so while I don’t appreciate how you made her feel, thank you for giving me the opportunity to show her what a real man is like, entitled jackass.”

“Let’s just go,” you said, tugging on Jensen’s arm. He finally let you pull him away, Gavin taking off in the other direction. Jensen was tense, his fist clenched as you walked him out onto the sand. “Relax, Jens. I’ve been called worse.”

“Fucking asshole,” he mumbled, pulling his hand away from you. “Ruining everything.”

“Jensen, forget him. Nothing’s ruined,” you said, grabbing his arm. “Let’s go get a drink at the bar.”

“Alright,” he said with a sigh. You went back to the path, walking the long way around before he went off of it. You didn’t say anything as you found another path, a quiet little hammock tucked away between palm trees with a perfect view of the water. 

“You were leading us here, weren’t you,” you teased.

“I have my moments,” he chuckled. You smiled as the wind picked up, a large boom overhead. “Uh…”

You glanced up just in time to feel it start to rain, Jensen breaking out into a laugh.

“I don’t know if the universe is trying to tell me something here,” he said, his hair getting wet and sticking to his forehead, starting to soak the both of you. 

“What?” you asked. He looked around, shaking his head as he grabbed hold of both of your hands. He took a small step back, kneeling back on one knee as it took a moment to realize what was going on.

“So,” he said, thunder booming over head, Jensen laughing as you nodded. “Nice and romantic right?”

“Oh yeah,” you said, the wind whipping your wet hair around, everything drenched at this point, water running down both your faces. 

“Y/N,” he said, the thunder cracking again. “Kiddo. Would you-”

You couldn’t hear what he said, Jensen throwing his head back.

“What?” you said, Jensen starting to crack up.

“Would you marry-” he got out before the storm was too loud. “Would you-”

“I can’t hear you!” you shouted.

“I said-” he said, shaking his head at the storm. “Ten seconds! That’s all I’m asking for!”

“Jensen,” you laughed, taking a step forward when you slipped in the wet sand, landing straight on your butt. He stared for a moment before you both laughed, Jensen cupping your cheek. 

“Would you marry me, kiddo?” he said with a big smile. 

“Yes,” you said, giggling as you looked him over. 

“I know right? I bet this was your dream proposal,” he laughed, giving you a kiss.

“You’re here so yeah,” you said, Jensen chuckling again. “It’s perfect.”

“I love you,” he said, giving you a hug.

“I love you too,” you said, giggling when he reached into his pocket. “No offense babe but with our luck, let’s save the ring for the hotel room and not the sandy beach?”

“Probably a good idea,” he said. “Let’s get out of here, kiddo.”

“Hm,” you hummed an hour later, curled up in bed with Jensen, staring at your hand. “You made this?”

“Mhm,” he said.

“Are you good at everything?” you teased, wrapping your arm around his torso, resting your head on his chest.

“Yes. Yes I am,” he said, nuzzling his cheek against you. “You any warmer?”

“Yeah. You?”

“That hot shower was pretty awesome,” he said.

“The shower sex was awesome too,” you said, Jensen kissing the top of your head. “All sex with you is awesome actually.”

“Speak for yourself,” he said, wrapping his legs around you. 

“Cuddles?” you asked.

“Obviously,” he said, letting out a big breath of air.

“You okay?” 

“Yeah. Very long day,” he said. “I was nervous enough and then it all started going to hell and then it had to storm like that and all the pretty lanterns got put out and the wind and you were just laughing your ass off and I knew you were gonna say yes no matter how bad it went.”

“It really was perfect,” you said. “Very memorable.”

“I get to marry you,” he smiled.

“Ah, I want to squish you, cutie,” you said, Jensen chuckling as he pretended to roll away, letting himself get caught by you. “Mine.”

“Yeah I am, kiddo.”

“Well, well, well,” said Jared at breakfast, you and Jensen smiling as you walked in to join them the next morning. “What did you two kids get up to last night?”

“Oh nothing,” you said. “Got engaged is all. No biggie.”

“No biggie,” said Jensen, your sister and both your sister in laws already out of their seats. “Don’t crush my fiance now.”

“It took you long enough,” teased Jared, the guys congratulating him while you were swarmed. Ten minutes later everyone was seated back at the table, Jared giving you a smirk.

“Yes, Jared?”

“Nothing,” he said. “Later.”

“Hey,” said Jared that afternoon while you hanging out by the pool. “Mind if I steal your bride to be?”

“Go for it. If I recall correctly, there’s a certain Gen around here somewhere I owe for shoving me in a pool last fall,” said Jensen. Gen popped up from her pool chair, Jensen smiling darkly. “Oh, I didn’t forget, Padalecki. An Ackles never forgets.”

She took off running, Jensen hot on her tail as Jared chuckled, grabbing your hand and leading you over to where your brother and sister were waiting. You cocked your head but followed them down to the beach, taking a seat when the three of them formed a little semi-circle.

“Uh, what’s going on?” you asked.

“Big sibling speech,” said your sister.

“When I get engaged, dad gave me this speech,” said your oldest brother. “Then when Jared did, I gave it to him but modified cause you know, siblings.”

“Then the boys gave it to me when it happened for me,” said your sister. “Now it’s your turn.”

“This isn’t some like, you guys will murder Jensen thing if he ever hurt me, right?” you asked.

“No,” said your sister, your brother nodding his head. “Kinda. I mean we would but we don’t plan on it happening.”

“Yeah, but this time is a little different,” said Jared, giving the others a sad smile. “You’re our kid sister. None of us were ever the best siblings.”

“We barely had a relationship until last year,” said your oldest brother.

“I never talked to you, even when the boys were moved out and it was just us. Not about boys or girl stuff or anything,” said your sister.

“I thought you thought I was selfish so that’s why you were always avoiding me,” said Jared. “But all three of us, we made you feel like you didn’t belong. We all know mom and dad didn’t plan you and we fed into every fear you probably ever had about being an accident and unwanted.”

“It’s fine,” you said with a shrug, playing with some sand.

“No, it’s not,” said your brother. You lifted your gaze, getting smiles from all three of them. “We weren’t mean. We were indifferent. We’ve been that way since you were a little girl. You always tried to talk about things we wanted to, talk about us. We never asked about you.”

“But we hope you can forgive us,” said your sister. “We’re happy you found Jensen. Well, okay, I was a little weirded out by the age thing at first but he loves you so much and he makes you this person we wish we’d gotten to know a lot sooner.”

“What we’re saying is, we fucked up in the past. We’ve spent most of the past year trying to make that up to you,” said your brother.

“I’m going to guess this isn’t the part of the speech dad gave,” you said, all three of them laughing.

“We’re gonna be there, no matter what,” said your sister. “You guys are gonna have fights. You're gonna have bad days and if you’re like us, you’ll twist it around in your head.”

“You can always call us, good and bad stuff,” said your brother.

“And you can always crash at one of our places if you guys ever have a big blowout and need some time to cool off,” said Jared.

“And we know we aren’t as close as siblings should be but we hope you still let us help with wedding stuff,” said your sister. 

“Guys,” you said. “I appreciate it and when I do have bad days, I will ask for help. When I need babysitters in the future or how to change a diaper, I’ll be calling. But I love you three. I have no resentment over anything. I wouldn’t be engaged to the manchild chasing Gen over there if my life had been different and I love him. I love you guys. Nothing’s going to ever change that. We good now?”

“We’re good,” they said, your head whipping around as you heard a large groan, watching Jensen get tackled by Gen into the ocean. She stood up with a smile and walked back up to the pool, Jensen shaking his head. 

“This ain’t over, Padalecki!” he said.

“Kiss my ass, Ackles. Learn how to…” she trailed off when he started running again, Gen running past the four of you quickly.

“That’s going to be my husband,” you said, Jensen finally catching up with her and picking her up, Jensen tripping in the water, the both of them going under and popping up with a laugh. 

“You could do a lot worse than that one.”

Nine Months Later

“Tom? Could you let Dean out to go potty?” you asked when you saw him pattering around near the door.

“Sure, Aunt Y/N,” he said, rushing past you, nearly knocking Jensen off his feet. “Sorry Uncle Jensen.”

“S’okay bud. Slow it down in the kitchen though,” he said, setting the pizza’s down on the counter. “Pizza’s here you animals!”

“That’s our family,” you laughed.

“Have you seen them eat? They’re like hyenas,” he said, a barrel of feet coming down from the TV room where everyone was watching the playoff game. “Told you so.”

“Where’s the buffalo chicken?” asked Jared as Josh took a few boxes up.

“I only got the one,” said Jensen, handing him a box. “Carry those up to the dining room, would you?”

“You got it brother,” he said, shoving a piece in his mouth before he carried a few boxes away.

“Alright, you’re not wrong about Jared at least,” you said, your dad and Jensen’s coming down, each grabbing a box for themselves. “Whoa. Guys. How about you two share one, hm?”

“Had to teach your daughter manners, didn’t you Padalecki,” said Jensen’s dad.

“I could say the same. I had this guy knocking on my door at two in the morning because he knew she was the one and wanted to ask permission. Two in the morning! I almost said no out of principle,” said your dad.

“You asked?” you said with a big smile. “Aw, I didn’t know he did that.”

“Yes, he’s adorable,” said Jensen’s dad with a smirk. “Aren’t you Jenny?”

“Mom!” shouted Jensen. 

“Behave!” you heard both your mom’s shout back.

“How are we the one’s getting in trouble?” said your dad.

“Because it’s you two together which is somehow worse than Jensen and Jared together,” you said.

“True,” said your dad.

“Fine. Take the two pizzas,” said Jensen. They high fived and went back upstairs, Jensen shaking his head at them.

“You asked permission?” 

“Yeah,” he said with a shrug. “What are you gonna do about it, Mrs. Ackles?”

“Maybe that’s like, super sweet cause I know my dad would appreciate that sort of thing,” you said. “Maybe you’ll get some baked goods out of it. I don’t know. What are you gonna do about it, Mr. Ackles?”

“Uh,” he said, pulling out the pizza box on the bottom marked mushrooms. You raised an eyebrow, Jensen opening the box to find buffalo chicken. 

“I married an evil genius,” you said, grabbing a piece and giving him a high five, both of you hearing the door open and Tom standing there. “Hey, Tom.”

“Are you hiding the good pizza Aunt Y/N?” he asked, crossing his arms.

“Here,” said Jensen, grabbing a cookie off the tray for later.

“Pizza, Uncle Jensen,” he said, narrowing his eyes.

“Son of a…” he said, begrudgingly handing him over a slice. “You don’t tell anyone about this now.”

“We’ll see,” he said as he took off back upstairs, Dean coming to sit between the two of you, staring up with puppy dog eyes. 

“Sorry but it’ll hurt your tummy, baby. None for you,” said Jensen.

“More for mommy,” you said, taking out another slice. 

“Speaking of mommy, Dean,” he said, giving you a kiss, “You’re gonna have to get used to somebody else being around little guy. According to the doctor, mommy has a very small bun in the oven.”

“I’m eight weeks,” you said. “I’m barely pregnant.”

“You’re pregnant!” said Tom.

“She’s pregnant!” you heard the whole other room say.

“Well that’s one way to break the news,” said Jensen.

“We’ve never been one’s to stick to the rules,” you said, leaning up on your tiptoes. “Better go face the music.”

“In a minute,” he said, giving you a kiss, rubbing his hand over your stomach. “I love you so much, kiddo.”

“Me too, Ackles. So, so much.”

_______

A/N: Read the timestamp here!

#spn #supernatural #rpf #jensen x reader #au #jensen ackles #spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #rpf fanfic #spn reader isnert #jensen x #supernatural reader insert

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #292

“dear god, let’s make this fucking clear: dear god, there’s nothing that i fear”

What internet browser do you use? Chrome. What brand water do you drink? (Smart Water, Dasani, etc) Mom just grabs the Great Value jugs. Do you have a job? No. Are you full-time or part-time? N/A Are you watching TV right now? No. Or are you listening to music? Yeah, "Mr. Crowley" by Ozzy. Such a great song. Would you go to jail for 3 years for $1,000,000? No. I would NOT survive in jail. When's your birthday? February 5th. I cannot fucking believe I'm almost 25. Thoughts on kids? Too impressionable for me. Even with my niece and nephew, I feel like every single word I say just like... stamps into their brains, and what if I say something that negatively affects them? I feel like it's my responsibility as an aunt to be a fountain of wisdom when I'm definitely not. I just get nervous around kids. Worst punishment you've ever received by your parents? I wouldn't call it a "punishment," but when I skinned the everliving fuck out of my knees and Mom was patching me up while I was just sobbing away, my dad literally roared "SHUT UP!" from my parents' bedroom, and it's stuck with me forever. Honestly, I think it may be a root in my extreme fear of men yelling. Worst punishment from Mom, probably this time where she smacked the shit outta my arm as a kid and left a clear handprint for a while. Are you the type who is completely against abortion? Why? No, I am firmly pro-choice, despite being pro-life most of my life. I don't feel like writing a moral essay, but basically, I absolutely cannot agree with forcing a woman to carry a human they don't want for whatever reason for nine fucking months, endure one of the most traumatically painful things known to man, and then properly and adequately care for that child. That is such a huge fucking responsibility that should be forced upon *nobody*. "But adoption!" Yeah, go tell that to the thousands of children waiting on you. This is leaning on exactly what I said I wouldn't do, so moving along. Have you ever read a book that actually changed your outlook on life? "I’ve read some books that were phenomenal, but I wouldn’t necessarily go so far as to say that they 'changed my outlook on life'." <<<< This was Johnny Got His Gun for me. Does your favorite flower hold any meaning to you? No. What would you do if your favorite animal became endangered? I would fucking freak. Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette? No, but I honestly do want at least one, primarily with a deep black and then some nice grays and neutral colors. Do you own a tripod for your camera? Yes. Are your nails always painted? Quite the opposite. What's one thing you've had a toxic reaction to? A breakup. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? I honestly don't really decorate because I just don't have the motivation, but Halloween is the best. Were you popular in school? Nope. Are there any foods that often give you heartburn or indigestion? BANANAS, dark sodas (like Coke or Dr. Pepper), peanut butter can... It's hard for me to tell much now because I have chronic heartburn and am medicated for it. Works great, so I don't experience this much. Is there something you intend to buy in the near future? Yes. Once my tattoo is done (I'm setting the appointment the next time we leave the house, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH), what I have left is going towards Venus' new terrarium. She really needs a 40 gallon. Is anyone in your family artistically talented? What about musically? I was the art kid, and family still insist I should be an artist. What cute behaviors or characteristics does/do your pet(s) have? Omg, Roman has so many. He nuzzles me all the time, will collapse into my hand to pet him, he insists on being the little spoon at bedtime (no, really), he literally tries to groom me with his teeth, licks my face... He is just a doll. My little buddy for sure. Now onto Venus. She loves to chill next to me in bed or find a cozy place under the covers, and omgggg does she love to slither around the bed doing the periscope thing. So curious. What's the screensaver on your computer? I don't have one. What’s the sexiest thing about a guy? I am WEAK for nice shoulderblades/muscular shoulders ok. What’s the sexiest thing about a girl? I am an ass bitch and I will not hesitate to admit it ayyyyyeeeee. Who were you with at midnight on January 1, 2021? Nobody. Who was the last person to send you a message on social media? My sister Misty. She's planning to surprise Mom (her stepmom, anyway) by showing up in a few weeks with her fiance and all her kids she's never met but desperately wants to. My mom is the only "real mom" she's ever had, and she just feels so bad that she has a by now teenage daughter (among three other younger ones) that has never met her "grandmother." It's just an expensive and long trip, but Misty's finally called it enough and is just driving down here with everyone. Mom is going to fucking sob. ^ What qualities does this person have, that you appreciate? Nice timing for this, since her fiercely anti-mask bullshit is all I can focus on about her lately... but there are good things about her. She truly is a very loving, passionate woman that, just like me, feels deeply and expresses it. What was the last thing that caused you to scowl, or frown? Does grimacing count from a sudden bodily pain? Have you smiled at any point during the last hour? Yeah. I'm watching the VOD of Arin Hanson playing Kingdom Hearts 2 for charity, and he went on a total fucking laughing fit. His laugh is so precious, so I just couldn't stop grinning. What was the last thing you consulted Google for? Ensuring "grimace" was the right word for my former expression, even though I was pretty positive it was correct... I don't know if anyone's noticed, but my English skills are degrading, particularly in spelling. It's concerning me. I was an English whiz my whole life up to now. My only guess is it's related to how godawful my memory is also declining. So, did anyone send you a "Happy New Year" message when midnight hit? No. When was the last time you were on a carousel? Probably not since I was a teenager being goofy with Jason or somebody. What is the closest you have ever been to an elephant? I have a picture on my dA of a beautiful elephant walking RIGHT by its fence at the zoo. It was pretty amazing, considering just how incredibly immense their enclosure is. Have you ever played Halo? No, it's not my kinda game. Have you ever read a National Geographic magazine? Oh, I'm positive I've read sections while in waiting rooms of various places. When was the last time you had a pillow fight? I have no idea. Realistically it was probably w/ Jason since that sounds like some cute playfighting thing we'd do, but I don't remember a particular instance. Name somebody who you think deserves more respect: "Retail works. The horror stories my mom has on the daily is absolutely ridiculous. People can be so incredibly rude." <<<< I absolutely agree with this; what friends and strangers alike rant about is just depressing. Nobody, especially those working through a goddamn pandemic that's killing thousands, deserves the disrespect that comes their way. Have some goddamn decency and know half the issues you bring up to retail workers isn't even their damn fault. Ohhhh, I could rant about this. In your own words, define what the word sexy means. So you mean like, what I think is considered sexy, not just the general definition? If that's the case, uhhh. Self-confidence (but absolutely not arrogance) is very attractive to me as a bitch who lacks it entirely, as well as good manners, being outgoing, and just... charm. I don't quite know how to describe that "charm" other than I'm really drawn to people who are unique and happy with it and just seem to have an aura about them that feels good to be in. What is the most popular tourist attraction where you live? I'm going to look at this question as if you're asking about my state and not general location because 1.) there ain't shit here and 2.) I'd prefer to keep relatively where I live quiet on the Internet. Looked it up and apparently NC's biggest tourist bait is the Biltmore Estate. Never been there myself, but it'd be pretty dope. Without looking - do you know what brand your underwear is? I'm in my own home and pjs, who the fuck wears underwear with that criteria lmao. Are you any good at volleyball? NOOOOOOOOO. I went to a volleyball camp thing once when I was younger and that shit hurts the hell outta your hands. I didn't stay long. Have you ever had a water balloon fight? Why of course. Do you think some babies are ugly? Quite honestly, probably most, especially newborns. Don’t you miss Chuck E. Cheese? I do; going there was one of the most exciting possible things to me as a kiddo. Do you think Fall Out Boy is gonna be a classic band, like Queen or AC/DC? Possibly. I mean they sure are pretty successful and well-known. Do you love stuff-crusted pizza? Eh, it's not my preference, but I'll eat it. Do you apply lotion after you bathe? No, but I really should, given how dry my skin is. What’s your favorite color? Pastel pink. Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? I'd like to not think about this. Has a YouTube video of yours ever gotten over 10,000 views? Lol definitely not. I think at least one on my older channel hit 1k somehow???? It was a birthday gift I made for someone. Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? lol I already have one there. At some point I'm getting it covered, though. Do you like Robert Frost poems? I do! Do you go to church every Sunday? I never do. Have you ever been in a relationship on-and-off for more than a year? No, I don't play that game. You want me or you don't, so I'm not wasting my time on your uncertainty or just our lack of stability for whatever reason. If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Absolutely writing. What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? ?????????????????? i don't?????????????? care???????????????? they're not my tits??????????????? What is the last thing you tried on in a store? I don't know. I avoid trying shit on like the plague. And then it ends up being too big/small. I wonder why. Is sleeping naked more comfortable than in clothes? I've only ever fallen asleep naked once, and accidentally at that, so I really don't remember how I felt about it? Consciously though, I would feel very, very vulnerable so don't have plans to when I have my own place. Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone? HAHAHA Y'AAAAAALLLLLLL THIS WAS DEADASS THE ONLY LUCID DREAM I'VE EVER HAD LMAOOOOO Do you feel as though you have a good memory, or are you forgetful at times? Do you feel that your short-term memory or long-term memory is better? My short-term memory is absolutely atrocious, like to the point it seriously affects my ability to get shit done. You can give me something that needs to be done and I will forget in a heartbeat. Now, my long-term memory is astonishing. I can remember many things from my childhood in incredible detail. Have you ever had a concussion or some other sort of brain injury before? Did you need to have surgery for it? I've had a concussion or two. I can't remember which. I didn't need surgery. Do you have any sort of mental illnesses or disorders? What do they involve? Yeah: chronic depression, crippling social anxiety, generalized anxiety, avoidant personality disorder (AvPD), obsessive compulsive disorder, PTSD, bipolar II, and I think that's it. My head's a mess and a half. What’s the longest that your hair has ever been? How about the shortest? When is the last time that you got it cut? About to the small of my back; how it is now, which is pretty much shaved on the left and fades to near my chin on the right. I actually got it cut last month; we've gone to a family friend for years whose shop is just an extra building by her house and very rarely has more than two clients in it. We had masks on, of course. At what age did you start getting gray hairs, if you happen to have any? I don't have any. Somehow, given my stress level at all times, haha. What are some ways that you style your hair? Do you use any sorts of products in it? It's too short to style. I don't use any products in it but obviously shampoo. Who was the last person to truly get on your nerves? What do you think caused you to feel that way? Probably my mom. I think she was in a rotten mood for one reason or another and just being snappy and generally rude. Do you recycle? Is this through choice or do you live somewhere where it’s compulsory? We do; it's by choice, and it'd be immensely ignorant not to where we live considering it literally gets picked up with the other garbage. Do you prefer plain, carbonated, or flavored water? Do you think you drink enough water throughout the day? I've never tried carbonated water, and flavored water rarely works for me due to artificial sweeteners giving me beastly headaches. So I'll just take really cold, filtered water. Have you ever needed to call the police, ambulance, or fire department? I had to call the ambulance for my mom right before her cancer was discovered because she was literally immobile and in ungodly pain. When was the last time you visited the library? What was the purpose of your visit? At my old college, as the newspaper photographer, I took some artsy pics up there. I will probably forever worry that leaving school resulted in the biggest career opportunity slipping through my fingers through that newspaper. Do you see a lot of wild animals where you live? Are any of them dangerous? I guess about the normal amount you'd see in the country. Some dangerous animals live here, sure, that's probably everywhere, but you very rarely see any. Aside from when you were born, have you ever had to stay the night in the hospital? For suicidal thoughts and one attempt, yes. Have you ever experienced a panic attack? Ahhhh, do I know those well. Thankfully, it's been a long time since I had an all-out panic attack. Would you ever want to go into the medical profession? Was your answer different pre-COVID? Nope. Well, besides being a vet, which I haven't wanted to be since I was a kid. Where you live, are people paying attention to whatever restrictions are in place to help control COVID? Many? No. Because it's apparently a fuckin hoax or not as bad as the government wants us to think. Fucking cretins. Do you get a real or artificial Christmas tree? Artificial. Real ones aren't worth the money nor mess. What’s your favourite type/flavor of popcorn? Caramel corn. Do you drink oat milk? No, but I'm interested in at least trying it. The dairy industry is absolutely repulsive if you look into it, and I'd love to do what I can to take as little part in it as possible... even though I am a dairy fiend. I seriously wish I could go vegan, I am just WAY too picky for it. Do you love thrifting? Oh fuck yes. I've been very few times in my life, but I'mm all about it. Do you consider using only lowercase letters your aesthetic? I do find it visually appealing; I like the flow of similar letter height. I never do it for "serious" things, but on places where it's "for the aesthetic," it's likely that's how I'll write something. Do you say “mood?” Way too much lmao. Do you own fairy lights? No, though I would like them if it wouldn't look stupid in my room. Do you own glass straws because the metal ones kind of gross you out because you can’t tell if they are clean or not? ... I didn't know glass straws were a thing. I have a handful of metal ones though, but I always forget I have one in my purse when I go out... Have you made a TikTok? No. Do you own airpods? No. Are you afraid of Mercury in retrograde? I don't believe in a planet's position or whatever having any effect on people. Do you make life choices based on astrology? Definitely not, considering I don't believe in it to begin with. How many pairs of converse shoes do you own? Maybe like, five? Number of jeans in your closet: Zero. What accent do you have? Not really any, but sometimes I sound kinda southern with specific words. Do you have a big butt? Yo I got a Hank Hill ass, so no. Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? In my past relationships, yes, I assigned our anniversary to memory. I don't really... know why, like it doesn't really matter how long you've been together, I just do. Have you graduated? From HS, yes. I dropped out of college three times lmao. Rihanna or Lady GaGa? Ohhh, not sure. Maybe GaGa, but both ladies have songs I love. "Disturbia" doess beat all of her songs, tho. The fuckin BEAT. Do you use fake eyelashes? Never tried 'em. Which was the last book that really captivated you? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. What makeup brands do you use? I'm not loyal to any, really. I would be if I could afford expensive shit, but yeah, that ain't my life.

#survey #surveys #questions #questionnaire #lyrics: ''battle cry'' by blood on the dance floor

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Ronnie

Ali: [The day of but later] Ali: I convinced that man not to press charges or anything, the one that got involved Ali: so you don't need to worry about that Ronnie: wasnt Ronnie: tell someone who is Ali: 'course Ali: talking isn't the most useful thing for me to do right now so I'll pass Ronnie: go be useful then little girl Ali: I'm sorry he brought you Ali: that's fucked up Ronnie: course you are Ronnie: youre all well sorry now like Ali: For you, not myself, or ourselves Ronnie: no shit pity works with the rest of your brothers and sisters Ronnie: youre fucked up Ali: How so? Ronnie: show and tells over Ali: I hope it made you feel better Ronnie: bullshit Ronnie: none of you give a fuck how I feel Ali: yeah I do Ronnie: wheres it been Ali: you're meant to wait for the kid to make the first move, that's rule #1 Ronnie: if you wanna play by the rules Ali: so I've lost points, that's fine Ali: you don't want us to care, right? Ronnie: the way your family is im almost old enough to be your ma Ronnie: bit fucking late yeah Ali: You do have a solid decade on her, yeah Ali: I'm a late bloomer, clearly Ronnie: ill leave it to her to be proud Ali: a big ask, but I'll survive without Ronnie: like I said Ronnie: fucked Ali: Yeah, a fair bit Ali: nothing to shout about, or that hasn't been now Ronnie: you wanted a first move Ali: It was a choice Ronnie: nah Ronnie: a reaction Ali: That too Ali: like I said, hope it was what you needed it to be? Ronnie: ask him Ali: you just did it for Joe? Ronnie: why else Ronnie: none of you mean shit to me Ali: but he does, yeah Ronnie: connect the dots Ronnie: I bothered to carve each one out Ali: I can tell he loves you Ali: do you love him Ronnie: hes that fucking soft Ali: you do Ali: alright, that's something Ronnie: fuck you youve known him all your life and you dont Ronnie: theres no telling me how I feel Ali: I don't know him or I don't love him? Ronnie: have it both ways Ronnie: he tells it either way Ali: I probably don't know him now Ali: I'll allow that Ali: that's how he wants it so you don't have to defend him like I'm saying I do Ali: or that I'll force it, when he's been so clear Ronnie: hes the last person I can be arsed to defend Ronnie: but no shit he gets everything he wants Ali: What were you after Ali: we disown him Ali: or strongarm him into rehab and therapy Ronnie: yeah Ive got everything crossed for sobriety Ronnie: fucks sake Ali: disowning then, he's done it to us Ali: it won't happen the other way 'round, sorry to say Ronnie: give him your fucking sorry Ronnie: he was the one begging me to ruin it all Ali: close enough that he should still be happy Ali: I'm not sorry for him Ali: I already said, he shouldn't have used you like that Ronnie: thats what happens theres no fucking 💘 and 🥀 Ali: no one deserves that Ronnie: I am no one Ali: You aren't Ali: don't have to be Ronnie: people like their junkies part time or useful or repentant Ronnie: fuck that Ali: that's not your whole gig Ronnie: you don't know shit Ronnie: youre not under my skin or in my head Ali: I know enough to know that's bullshit Ali: if anyone was just their addictions and vices, you wouldn't need them Ronnie: yeah youre the smart one Ronnie: he told me Ali: He's the one at the fancy arts school Ali: how does he reconcile that with being the junkie one Ronnie: youre 16 theres no uni thatd take you yet Ronnie: happy birthday for whenever the fuck it was Ali: Thanks Ali: about a month ago Ali: extend the invite next time Ronnie: dont Ronnie: I wont show Ali: you haven't heard how great my parties are yet Ronnie: I aint a childrens entertainer Ali: be cool if you were Ali: have a heart attack when you showed up Ronnie: next time I need a few quid ill try and remember Ronnie: make you proud of me Ali: probably leave that to Joe, and your friends and fam Ali: but I know how to make balloon animals so hmu Ronnie: course you do Ronnie: youre the target market for hippy crack Ali: awh Ali: how true Ronnie: no shit Ronnie: how long you been in the youngest ones adhd meds Ali: not really my thing Ali: need to calm my brain, not stimulate it harder Ronnie: 💔 Ali: how'd you know about that Ali: doesn't seem like the sort of pillowtalk he'd be about Ronnie: i was in care i know what an kid with adhd looks like Ronnie: and theyve tried to diagnose me as everything but a west little bastard Ali: he's shit scared right now Ronnie: be fucked if he werent Ali: yeah Ali: he doesn't really know Joe Ali: was like 4 when he went to Uni so Ali: proper boogeyman shit Ronnie: mckenna will love that Ronnie: real boner for the misery Ali: someone should get something out of it Ali: he can pay for his therapy later Ali: more meds, whatever Ronnie: ill tell him to put in his will Ali: try not to die Ronnie: itd be the ultimate misery boner Ronnie: why should he stop getting what he wants now Ali: yeah, you do love him Ali: but hate him too Ronnie: 💘🥀 Ali: Is he worth it? Ronnie: youre describing freckles and the princess you know that yeah Ronnie: me and her dont share every dysfunction Ali: Nah, they don't hate each other Ali: loads of other stuff, people Ali: very them vs everyone Ronnie: she hates that she needs him Ronnie: that he makes her soft Ronnie: close enough Ali: You reckon? Ali: Hmm Ronnie: first rule of tortured kids club Ali: it's why she loves him too Ali: you'd understand if her sister had been there Ali: she's got no one to make her soft, I tried but Ronnie: gutted she werent there then Ali: you wouldn't like her any more than she'd like you Ali: it'd be fitting, but no fun Ronnie: thats the fun Ronnie: I hate you all Ali: I see the appeal Ronnie: have a go Ronnie: hate me Ali: I see your appeal Ali: why would I hate you? Ali: Fraze does and he's having the least fun of all Ronnie: you see what you fucking wanna Ronnie: youd have to know me to know if I had any appeal Ali: Then I'm a spoilt hippy brat, as you like it Ali: you'd have to do worse for me to hate you Ali: not my MO Ronnie: not wasting another flight on it Ronnie: kill your own ma Ali: then I'm good for it Ali: sorry again Ali: you did what you set out to do, making me 💔 wasn't part of it Ronnie: stop fucking apologising Ali: it offends you? Ronnie: I did what mckenna cant do for his fucking self being a useless pussy from cradle to grave Ronnie: he is under my skin and in my veins like it or not Ali: yeah, and my apology is worth a damn when you've got problems that big Ali: alright, I won't say it no more Ronnie: if it was for me Id have done it at 10 14 fucking 18 even Ali: 'course, you got fucked over at birth Ali: no other straws needed Ali: his is more of a slowburn of bullshit Ronnie: yeah Ali: I don't know what he's told you, or how much you care about it Ali: but they've always been like it, Fraze too Ali: we have no idea and they went through so much more Ali: but Joe's only got 5 on me, so that says all you really need to know Ronnie: thats lads for you Ronnie: cant handle any pain unless they glorify it Ali: or co-opt it Ali: if you don't wanna be like them, tell him to get his own Ronnie: Im not like them thats why he likes me Ronnie: it aint my winning smile Ronnie: helps that I look like you and your ma course hes that sick Ali: He's hated them both ever since Bea came around, then when we moved her, like it was for her Ali: he's spoilt, like you said Ali: but I really think he is sick, too Ronnie: no shit Ronnie: were both sick Ali: yeah Ali: maybe you'll wanna get help someday Ronnie: for what Ronnie: theres no happy ever after here Ali: to not be sick Ronnie: nice try little girl Ronnie: not gonna get cured Ali: yeah, well has to seem better than sick Ali: that's a big ask Ali: I can't imagine not getting to do the drugs I do, and that's everyone Ronnie: it's like being in a relationship yeah sometimes it makes you feel good sometimes it dont Ronnie: cant fix shit though Ronnie: the rots too deep and its already set in Ronnie: long before I took a hit Ali: That's medication for you Ronnie: thats pain for you Ali: Yeah Ronnie: if I cant cut it out Ill cut her out of me Ronnie: her face outta mine Ali: It's DNA Ali: everything and nothing Ronnie: if she's in my blood ill spill it all Ronnie: theres fuck all point keeping it on the inside Ali: It's a waste of you Ali: the you that ain't her Ronnie: I am the waste Ronnie: ive had enough kids scraped out of me it aint hard Ali: She believed in the happily ever after you don't Ali: more fool her Ronnie: she got it Ali: she wanted it with you Ronnie: bullshit Ali: She did, she loved your biological dad, basically as many years as she'd been about Ali: she didn't just not get an abortion because she was scared Ronnie: she wanted it with him then Ronnie: I was along for the ride til I got dumped out Ronnie: if she wanted me id fucking be there Ali: she could've tried Ali: yeah Ali: you would've got taken away though Ronnie: so what Ali: just that, she wasn't allowed to keep you, she was a 14 year old with no parent, they'd have separated you and put you into different care homes Ali: happened to her friend Ronnie: I was a 14 year old with no parents either Ronnie: and a 4 year old Ronnie: 4 months Ronnie: however the fuck far back you wanna go Ronnie: I still found ways to get shit that I wanted Ali: Yeah, I know Ali: you had enough to eat and a bed with a roof over your head Ali: you wouldn't have if you'd had her, if that was even possible, somehow Ronnie: no I fucking didnt Ronnie: not always Ali: if you were in a home Ali: more than a squat where no fucker pays the bills or gets groceries over smack, you know the situation Ronnie: I know it helps her sleep at night Ronnie: this story Ali: you don't have to add it to your narrative if it fucks with your peace Ali: ask Joe Ali: if he reckons he remembers everything back in Liverpool, he'll remember Ronnie: I dont need to ask him cos his story is that she blinked and her life was so fucking sorted that she pushed a shit ton more kids out Ronnie: where the fuck was I Ronnie: nowhere Ronnie: youre my fucking replacement is why Ali: she could've got you when she got Bea and Ro Ali: I don't know how old you were then, 13? Ali: they might've said she was sorted enough, maybe Ali: it was more, this girl has been abused and you're a friend she trusts who is willing to foster her so let's shove her at you and get her out, it wasn't happy families Ronnie: no need when theres already loads of shiny white kids to mother and 2 less shiny to play saviour too Ali: I could ask Ali: I was a toddler, and it wasn't my bedtime story too, believe it or nah Ronnie: luck of the irish Ali: I'll take 50% Ronnie: her sob story is as fucking useless to me as mckennas misery boners are Ali: 💔 Ali: very convincing performance in that case Ronnie: fuck you Ali: why Ronnie: if you have to ask youre not listening Ali: I meant the part where you necked on with him Ronnie: why not Ali: 'cos his boners are a letdown, obvs Ronnie: I dont need him to make me feel good Ronnie: and he fucking wishes he could do as good of a job as the shit that does Ali: thank God Ronnie: he wanted the shock factor thats me baby Ali: assumed that was his intention Ali: he stopped showing up as himself ages ago though, that was, not more shocking but impactful, let's say Ali: if he wasn't so obviously out of it, he might've known that we knew Ronnie: he wanted to stop showing up full stop Ronnie: til he gets shipped back in a ⚰ Ronnie: and reckoned thatd be the final nail for you all us fucking Ali: and us younger ones are dramatic, hilarious Ali: who doesn't want to get away from home? Ali: Tommy has been since he was 11, Bea went to Cambridge, Ro will too, Fraze only didn't because Bea told him he wasn't allowed to follow her Ali: I'm planning on Singapore, myself Ronnie: hes too pussy to handle being away from me Ronnie: or what I get like when he isnt in my fucking face Ronnie: that bit wasnt about you lot as much like Ali: it's how it goes Ali: that's why people get knocked up, get married, get fabulous careers, so you can have an excuse for why you can't make this weekend, will try to pop in for this event but end up just sending a card Ali: it's weird it's you, of course, you're both sick, duh, but look at it objectively Ali: it's your version of 2.4 kids and a dog Ronnie: he dont want me to slit my own throat or anyone elses but his more fool him Ronnie: cant knock me up or marry me thank christ Ronnie: I like that the dog is smack thats well poetic Ali: I'll have a go at writing it Ali: if you want a null and void illegal wedding too, I'll write those vows and all Ronnie: ill stick it in a song if you want better than happy birthday Ronnie: fuck that i belong to no one Ronnie: theres loads more fun illegal shit to do Ali: you write songs too? Ali: just don't let Joe play cello on it Ali: if depression had a 🎵 Ronnie: id lose money if i begged with him Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: looks pathetic enough but thats all Ali: very child actor vibes, or rockstar's kid Ali: you had it all and you pissed it all the wall Ali: not here's a couple of quid for a warm cup of coffee and a sarnie, no Ronnie: i can see his face hearing that Ronnie: id have to take a brick to it Ali: yeah, he probably hates me Ali: not as much as Fraze, didn't have the toddler clout to make us move to Dublin, bit rude Ronnie: you're in his way Ali: of what Ronnie: 💉 Ali: that's his hangup Ali: like I said, no one is forcing him to do shit here Ali: guilt's part and parcel of 💚 and 💉 ain't it Ronnie: youre not telling me shit I dont know Ronnie: hes the one shitting himself hes gonna get chucked in rehab Ronnie: nobodys coming to take me nowhere Ali: I get it Ali: she's shit at turning up Ali: tell her to work on it Ronnie: do what you want Ronnie: far as sisterly advice what ive got is dont ask me for a shot unless youre after a habit Ali: lecturing ain't my gig rn, she loves a bit of it so honestly no need when her 🧠 will be full of the 💔 Ali: cheers, I'll stick to the just saying no of it all Ronnie: get the money up front when you are gigging Ronnie: and take care of the kid when you aint Ali: I will, I do Ali: he's got a few years to grow before I'm going anywhere Ronnie: yeah Ali: and my wife might stay and they're best friends Ronnie: she was the one trying to rival us for most high Ali: ✌💚💉 Ali: it was a party before you walked in Ali: which I'm aware was very much the idea Ali: can I give you a tattoo I'm good Ronnie: go ahead Ronnie: not gonna be here long like Ali: where do you wanna meet, my rig is way portable Ronnie: [a place nearby wherever they are cos god knows but I doubt Joe wants to see Ali and she aint gonna tell him that's where she's going LOL] Ali: 👍 Ali: about 25 on my 🚲 Ronnie: reckon i can stay alive til then

[blessthejets]

1. Put your music player on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

1. One more light - Linkin Park

2. Love story - Taylor Swift

3. Thunder - Imagine Dragons

4. New man - Ed Sheeran

5. A thousand miles - Vanessa Carlton

6. Treat you better - Shawn Mendes

2. If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Rick Rypien, that’s for sure. If he was still on this earth, though...

3. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17:

“fuckin god, wis aboot aw ah could pick ootay the horrible sound. She collapses oantae the threadbare couch.“ - Trainspotting. In English. I mean, “English”. haha

4. What do you think about most?

Overthinking things I can’t really do anything about.

5. What does your latest text message from someone else say?

My ex boyfriend from the USA: “nope not at all”

6. Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

With my clothes. It’s so COLD!

7. What’s your strangest talent?

I think my facial expressions. People say they like it haha.

8. Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)

Girls are equal to boys. Boys are equal to girls.

9. Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Nah. I don’t think. I mean I can relate to a LOT of songs or poems, mostly about brokenhearted girls or depression, but that’s not directly about me.

10. When is the last time you played the air guitar?

When I got the guitar at the age of eight? I think? So it would beeee... about thirteen years ago now.

11. Do you have any strange phobias?

Spiders. Clowns. Heights. Tiny holes. Balloons. Slugs. Insect. Yes, nothing strange.

12. Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

WTF lol

13. What’s your religion?

SCIENCE.

14. If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Walking my dog ♥

15. Do you perfer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind.

16. Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Imagine Dragons, hands down.

17. What was the last lie you told?

“Sorry I didn’t reply, I fell asleep.” hahah

18. Do you believe in karma?

Of course!

19. What does your screen name mean?

blessthejets? It’s just my blog dedicated to the Winnipeg Jets. And it rhymes which I like hehe

20. What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Weakness - dogs. Any kinds of dogs. Strenght? Courage, I guess.

21. Who is your celebrity crush?

There’s million of them. But my favorite of all of them will always be Mr. Kurt Cobain.

22. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Naaa. I’d love to though.

23. How do you vent your anger?

I don’t really get angry very often. When I do, I try avoid people because I don’t want to hurt them by saying something inappropriate.

24. Do you have a collection of anything?

Yup. Ice hockey stuff. Cards, scarves, jerseys etc.

Do you perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

mhmm.. probably talking face to face. 

26. Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

I’m suffering with serious mental health issues. So I’m trying to be a better person every day. So far so good.

27. What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

Hate - morning alarm haha. Love - my dog barking out of excitement when I get home.

28. What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if I realize I didn’t live my life as I wanted? And now it’s too soon to do that?...

29. Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

YES. YES. 

30. Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Right - Coca cola zero. Left - nothing.

31. Smell the air. What do you smell?

Um. Air

32. What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

Psychiatrics at Prague, Bohnice.

33. Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

Of where?

34. Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

KURT COBAIN! 

35. To you, what is the meaning of life?

FOR ME - it’s definitely dogs. Shelter dogs. Helping shelter dogs, teaching people to adopt and not to support backyard breeders.

36. Define: Art.

Everything. 

37. Do you believe in luck?

Yes.

38. What’s the weather like right now?

End of the February. Sunny but god damn COLD.

39. What time is it?

12:33 pm

40. Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

No I don’t drive. Because I don’t want to get in a car crash :P

41. What was the last book you read?

Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh.

42. Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Yash!

43. Do you have any nicknames?

Yeah. My name is Adéla. I get called Dee, Dede, Adel, Ady, Addie. Also a giraffe. haha

44. What was the last movie you saw?

The Gift. It was well wrapped..

 45. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

I don’t know if it’s considered as an injury. But probably when I overdosed with pills on purpose. Spent 13 hours in a coma, woke up in hospital, was transferred to psychiatrics. 

46. Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Yes, when I was a little. Now they kind of scare me.

47. Do you have any obsessions right now?

Ice hockey, dogs, travelling, dogs, ice hockey, Swedes, blondes, dogs.

48. What’s your ?

What’s my what?

49. Ever had a rumor spread about you?

Yes. But no fucks were given during any of those times.

50. Do you believe in magic?

Yes. Harry Potter for the win.

51. Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Just for a while. I always try to give a second chance. And the third. And fourth. Until I’m fucked up again.

52. What is your astrological sign?

Gemini.

53. Do you save money or spend it?

Trying to save. But usually just spend. :D

54. What’s the last thing you purchased?

A lunch at my lunch break at work.

55. Love or lust?

Both.

56. In a relationship?

No. Who would be with a psycho like me?

57. Are you a virgin?

No.

58. Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

I can.

59. Where were you yesterday?

At work and outside with my dog. Also at home.

60. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

Yeah. My hand cream on my desk.

61. Are you wearing socks right now?

Yes. I’m AT WORK!

62. What’s your favorite animal?

Fox, dog.

63. What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Hahaha haahha if I knew I would actually had a boyfriend by now.

64. Where is your best friend?

She moved from our street just a little bit away. She’s with her newborn babygirl and her husband so she does not really have much free time.

66. What is your heritage?

Czech and Bulgarian. But I prefer saying just Czech because my parents got divorced when I was three. I have never even been to Bulgary. I don’t really want to, anyway.

67. What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Doing a birthday card for my coworker who has her birthday tomorrow.

68. What do you think is Satan’s last name?

I don’t know what’s his last name but I know his kid. It’s my dog.

70. Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Sometimes yes. I laugh a lot and I have a great sense of humor I think. I love to laugh. But on the other hand I suffer from depression. I’d probably want to help myself and get caught into this infinite circle.

71. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

I help the dog and call my boss. If they tell me that I’m being fired anyway, I don’t care. I wouldn’t want to work for someone who doesn’t care about a dog’s life.

72. You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live.

Well... I’d say thanks? Or what am I supposed to do? I tried to kill myself three months ago so I don’t really know what’s going on with my life right about now.

a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die?

No. 

b) What do you do with your remaining days?

I would try to find a new lovely home for my dog. Make sure he’s okay. I would probably just won’t talk to any of my friends. I wouldn’t want to talk to my family either. I would just be stuck inside my brain, my mind. Thinking about what it’s gonna be.

c) Would you be afraid?

No. Not at all.

73. You can only have one of these things: trust or love.

Trust. I have trust issues so... that would help me mentally a lot.

74. What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

All Star by Smash Mouth (;

75. What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

4373 (:

76. In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Trust. Communication. Tolerance. Laughter. Dreams about future spent together.

77. How can I win your heart?

Make me laugh. And understand please that I have some issues I need to deal with. You don’t have to, but once you win my heart and we are dating, you would have to deal with it whether you want it or not. It’s not my fault. Please understand it.

78. Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Yes. And depression brings the most beautiful thoughts - ironically.

79. What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Adopting my dog. We rescued each other.

80. What size shoes do you where?

39 in Europe, 6 in UK, 8 in US.

81. What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

"Offline” lol haha. No. Probably something like “I told you I was sick.”

82. What is your favorite word?

Probably “cencúl”. It means icicle in Slovakian.

83. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart.

Broken.

84. What is a saying you say a lot?

Everything happens for a reason.

85. What’s the last song you listened to?

A world alone by Lorde from Pure Heroine.

86. Basic question: what’s your favorite color/colors?

Blueee

87. What is your current desktop picture?

WINNIPEG JETS. Both on my PC at work and my laptop at home.

88. If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

I wouldn’t. 

89. What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

I’m pretty open. I would answer anything. Truly.

90. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Mummies don’t scare me. I would just ask them what to do to become like them.

91. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Telekinesis. That way, shit will still get done when I’m having a lazy day. 

92. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

When I saw my dog for the first time. When we met. When we went for our first walk outside the shelter.

93. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

My very first relationship.

94. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Well, since Kurt Cobain is not here anymore, I would choose... Lorde. Or Avriel Kaplan. Or Daniel Platzman.

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Gothenburg, Sweden.

96) Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not relatives. Just my very best friend. 

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?

Yes. But it wasn’t caused by the ride. It was caused by alcohol. And it wasn’t really in a car, I told the driver to stop, then I opened the door and threw up there. Hahahahah

98) Ever been on a plane?

Not yet.

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Step 1 - Breathe in

Step 2 - Breathe out

Step 3 - STOP! HAMMERTIME!

100) Give me your top 5 favorite blogs on Tumblr.

Nah I don’t have any.

#100+questions

[himbowelsh]

“She’s 6, how can she scare you?” With Grant/Liebgott? Also I saw this and immediately thought of Spierton's child omg

prompt away with me (ACCEPTING)

AN: okay, this didn’t get as shippy as i would have liked (don’t worry, i have more grant/lieb prompts in my inbox! but i def included speirton’s child in here! rosie was first introduced in this story of mine!

“Why us?”

Chuck, who has been tolerating Joe’s bitching for the past three days, is unfazed. He leans back against the car, crossing his arms, and dips his head back to soak in the mid-morning warmth. Dappled sunbeams dances across his face, throwing his tanned skin into the light.

“What do you mean, Joe?” he asks after a few seconds. If he’s just humoring him, biding their time until the final members of the party arrive, he’s sure it shows. Joe is too prideful not to complain anyways.

“Why’d you volunteer us to watch Lip and Speirs’ kid?” He’s scowling at the ground, looking more like a petulant child than the nearly-thirty year old he is. “Anyone could have done it. Winters, Welsh, Nixon. Why us?”

Chuck just shrugs. He’s still not completely sure why Joe is up-in-arms at the idea of babysitting Rosie Speirs-Lipton for the next three days, but he has a clue. Whatever Joe’s reasons, he’s not impressed. He expected him to be a better friend, or a better sport at least.“She’s a good kid, and they needed someone. Lip asked me.” He’s told Joe this before, of course. This doesn’t keep Joe from rolling his eyes anyway.“What if she falls down or something? If she gets hurt, Speirs will murder you. He won’t kill me, cause I’ll leave the country, but I’ll absolutely leave you behind.”“Wow. Thanks.” Chuck rolls his eyes and turns around, diverting his attention to the booster seat in the back of his car. Lipton helped him set it up yesterday; it’s as secure as it’s going to get, but that doesn’t keep Chuck from checking it over for the fifth time.(Better safe than sorry. Joe has a point – if Rosie gets so much as a scratch, Speirs will kill them both.)When he emerges from the car again, he finds Joe scowling across the street. Following his gaze, he sees Lipton and Speirs stepping out of their house. They hesitate at the doorstep, and Lipton calls out over his shoulder. Not a second later a curly-haired child skips out of the house, donning a bright pink princess costume. Joe is staring at her like she's some sort of monster, eyes wide and lips curled. It takes all of Chuck's self-control not to laugh out loud. “She’s six, how can she scare you?”“Shut up,” Joe shoots back, arms crossed over his chest. He looks ready to fight a bear, not face down a small child in a sparkly dress. “Do I look like I’ve ever babysat before?”“Definitely not,” Chuck replies. Joe nods.“Kids are just… they…”“They unnerve you because they’re small, and innocent, and you’re worried you’ll do something to corrupt them.” Chuck is doing his best to fight off a smirk, though the glare that Joe shoots him makes the task difficult. “Kids are less delicate than you think.”“They’re sponges. They absorb everything, and it’s fucking weird.”“Just don’t curse, and don’t yell at her. We’ll be fine,” Chuck mutters, pasting on a smile as the family comes within hearing distance. “Morning, guys!”Lipton smiles, raising a hand in greeting. Speirs is less friendly, but he offers both men a nod as they reach them."Hey, Chuck, Joe." Lipton has one hand resting on his daughter's shoulder, the other on his husband's arm. "Thanks for doing this on such short notice."Lipton forgets that Chuck lives with Joe, the king of doing things without any warning. He just shakes his head. "Three days isn't short notice, Lip. And we couldn't be happier to help."He doesn't crouch down when he turns to Rosie (he feels like it would be demeaning, considering she's a tall girl already) but he offers her a smile. "Hey, Rosie. You remember me?"He's met Rosie at both of her fathers' birthday parties for the past few years, so he doubts his face is unfamiliar to her. He's not, however, expecting the bright smile that spreads across the girl's face. Rosie nods her head, causing her curls to bounce."I remember! You were with my dad when at the pool party, and you helped push Harry in the pool. That was funny!"Harry hadn't found it amusing, but everyone else thought it was hilarious. Chuck's smile widens at the memory. Lip chuckles. "Rosie's got a memory like an elephant.""Papa, I don't like elephants, I want to be a horse --""You can be a horse," Speirs interjects, "but horses can't ride on airplanes. We have to get to our flight or else we'll be late."Rosie considers this logic for a moment, tilting her head. Slowly, she turns large brown eyes on her father, lower lip sticking out. (Chuck wonders which parent she learned that trick from, because he can't imagine Speirs or Lip ever making a face like that). "I could stay with you...""We'll be back in three days." Speirs stoops to kiss his daughter on her head, and doesn't flinch when she throws her arms around him. Instead, he hugs her back -- a single tight squeeze, as if he never wants to let go -- before pulling away. With Rosie pouting at him, he remains admirably firm. "Three days and three nights. You can call whenever you want. I'll always answer.""And you've got your nightlight, so even if Daddy isn't here you don't have to worry about monsters," Lip adds. Rosie is obviously reassured by this. The wraps her arms around Lip's torso this time in a tight hug, and lingers for a few seconds before pulling away."I love you.""We love you too, Rosebud." Lipton kisses her forehead, and Speirs sneaks one last hug. Then they gently turn Rosie in the direction of Chuck's car.The child still looks reluctant to get in. Chuck can understand that the thought of being torn from her parents upsets her, so he makes a quick decision. "Rosie, you know Joe, right? He's gonna sit with you in the back of the car. You can talk to him the whole time."Joe looks like he's just been called up in front of a firing squad. For one awful second, Chuck is sure he's going to bolt. Then he straightens up and nods, clearing his throat."Yeah. Sure." He holds out a hand to help Rosie in the car. "C'mon, kid."Joe gets Rosie adjusted in her booster seat while Chuck takes one last moment to reassure the worried parents. Lip makes sure he has their phone numbers, as well as any emergency hotlines he might need; Speirs just shakes his hand, and that's all Chuck needs to know what an act of trust this is on his part. Lipton may have asked him to care for Rosie, but he has a feeling Speirs was the one who suggested him. Knowing his friend holds him in such high regard is an honor to Chuck.By the time he slides into the driver's seat, Rosie and Joe are both secure in the back of the car. They pull away from the house as Rosie stares out the window, waving to her parents.No sooner have they left her street behind than the child turns her attention to Joe. Of course, she starts to talk.“How old are you?”“Uhh – older than your dads.”“Really? My dad’s are really old!" Rosie sounds thrilled. "That’s so cool! I’m six, but I turn seven in a month. On May fifteenth. I’m gonna have a Moana party at the park. Daddy says I can dress up like her, but I want him to be Maui. Do you think he’d be a good Maui? He’s big, and strong, but he can’t turn into animals, even though I think he's cooler than any animal –”Chuck glances in the rearview mirror, and bites back a laugh at the helpless bewilderment that shines on Joe's face. “What’s a Moana?" he manages to ask, sounding lost.“It’s a movie! About Moana, and she’s this princess who’s on an island, and the ocean is in trouble, but she’s really brave, and she meets Maui, and they go on her boat. Only Papa says it’s not a boat, it’s a raft, and there’s a big difference. I want Daddy to be Maui for my birthday. Do you think I could get him to dress as a shark?”Joe winces. “You’re asking the wrong guy.”“Would you come?”“Come where?”“To my party! It’ll be really cool! I’m gonna have cake and presents and we’ll all sing happy birthday and Papa will get me balloons!”Joe looks absolutely baffled by this invitation to a child's party. A few seconds of silence pass before he makes a small alarmed grunt. Chuck, in his limitless mercy, takes over.  “What sort of balloons do you want?”“Polka dot balloons,” Rosie answers promptly, studying the back of Chuck's seat. Her eyes suddenly light up as she pulls a colorful booklet from the seat pocket. "Ooh, you have stickers! Can I have them, please? Please! Please?”“Sure, they’re for you," Chuck says, laughing softly. “Yay! Stickers!" For a few moments, Rosie is completely occupied with covering herself with stickers. She coats the front of her dress with them; she places them on the back of her hands, on her forehead and cheeks; she even gets some in her hair. Only once she is a literal mass of stickers does it occur to her to share. "Do you want a sticker?” she says to Joe.“Why not.” Joe sounds defeated.Rosie beams, and carefully placed a princess sticker smack in the middle of Joe's shirt. She studies her handiwork for a moment before nodding in satisfaction. “There. You look really nice.”“Umm – thanks.” Joe looks like he's just been handed a live chicken and is unsure what to do with it. Rosie considers her sticker booklet for a moment before looking up at Chuck. "Do you want a sticker?""You know," he says, "you can give me one when we get out of the car, how about that?"Rosie seems utterly thrilled. "Okay!" she agrees; then, after a few seconds, "I'm gonna give you a Shrek one.""I'd like that," says Chuck.He pretends not to hear the muttered, "oh, he gets Shrek," from the backseat. Still, he cannot fight the grin off his face; he forces himself to focus on the road, knowing Joe would not forgive him for laughing.Chuck wonders if he and Joe are going to get a taste of parenthood over the next few days, or if he’ll wind up babysitting two children instead of one.

#Anonymous #my writing #chuck grant #joe liebgott

[emphasisonem]

It’s My Birthday Too

Summary

“Look, I, um, I wanted to apologize again,” Bucky exhales. “I didn’t mean to offend you or anything when I asked if you needed help earlier. I was just trying to be polite, and I hope you won’t hold it against me.”

Steve huffs out a laugh. “I think I might be able to forgive you, yeah.”

Bucky’s positively beaming at that, and Steve kind of can’t believe that something so simple has made this handsome man so happy.

“Glad to hear it,” Bucky replies, batting his eyelashes in a way that Steve would love to read as flirtatious, but there’s no way-

“Be a shame to make a bad impression on somebody as pretty as you.”

Ok, so maybe there is a way, Steve thinks as he gapes up at Bucky.

In which Steve has to work on his birthday, but it turns out pretty damn well.

You can read it on AO3 here.

Edit: Forgot to add that this was inspired by an A+ prompt from the lovely @talsywalsy who is a genuine gift. 

“But Tuesday’s your birthday!”

Steve levels an icy glare at Natasha as the two of them sit at the kitchen table chopping vegetables. Sam snickers from where he stands at the counter as he places chicken into a dish to marinate for their Sunday dinner.

“You think I don’t know that?” Steve grumbles, practically slamming his knife through the zucchini before him. “Of course I’d rather not work on my birthday, but we’ve only got so much of a grace period before July’s rent is due and I’m short on my share. I already picked up all the hours I can down at the art supply store, and it’s not like there’s a ton of work to be had on a holiday.”

Sam turns to face Steve and Nat and leans back against the counter, folding his arms across his chest as he smirks.

“You’re gonna kill me for suggesting this,” Sam begins, and Steve’s eyes narrow.

“Then don’t fucking suggest it,” Steve bites out as he begins to place the vegetables he and Nat have chopped into a roasting pan.

“I could spot you the extra cash for rent this month,” Sam continues, unperturbed even as Steve’s jaw clenches.

“Absolutely not, Sam,” Steve replies. “It’s not like I’m the only college student strapped for cash living in this apartment. Besides, you’ve been saving for ages to make that trip out to the Grand Canyon with Riley next month somethin’ special.”

Sam shrugs, smile still on his face as he says, “I really can spare the money if you need me to. Wouldn’t be the first time one of our trips has had a tighter budget and it won’t be the last.”

“I can chip in some extra too,” Nat chimes in with a slow smile. “We know you’re good for it, and we wanted to celebrate with you, Steve.”

Steve’s anger leaves him in a heavy exhale and his shoulders slump as he stares down at the worn wood of their kitchen table.

“Look, guys, that’s really, really nice of you, but it’s not that big a deal,” Steve says, brushing his light hair away from his forehead. “Besides, we all have work pretty early on Wednesday. Sam, you really wanna handle customer service calls hungover?”

“Well, no,” Sam admits sheepishly.

“And, Nat, you wanna be sittin’ out in the sun and tryin’ to keep a bunch of screaming children in line at the pool with a killer headache?”

Natasha sighs, slumping back in her chair.

“I guess not,” she replies. “Although, you’re turning 22, Steve, not 21. I think we have just a little more self control now than we did last year. But you’ve clearly made up your mind, so we’ll go out next weekend instead.”

“Thank you,” Steve grins, picking up the tray and walking toward the oven. “Now, can we get dinner going already? I’m starving.”

“I cannot believe-” Bucky hisses into his sister’s ear as the two of them stand in the Robinson’s backyard watching a bunch of five-year-olds sprinting around armed with water balloons and Super Soakers- “That I let you talk me into this.”

Becca grins up at Bucky, her dark brown eyes wide with feigned innocence. She’ll be starting her senior year of high school in the fall, but Becca never misses an opportunity to play the little sister card. And Bucky always falls for it.

Which is why he’s helping Becca chaperone Angela Robinson’s birthday party instead of enjoying a barbecue or a pool party or any of the number of options with which his old high school buddies had presented him.

“You love kids,” Becca replies, that shit-eating grin still gracing her suntanned features. Hours of playing outside with Angela, Bucky figures, wondering how Becca manages to keep up with a kid in the summer heat day after day.

Bucky’d asked her about why she’d gone the babysitting route instead of just getting a job at the local grocery store or the movie theater or the public pool or something. Becca had simply shrugged and said it was good money and that she was a more affordable option than summer camp for Angela’s parents.

“Kids are fine,” Bucky sighs as he dodges to avoid a little boy sprinting between him and Becca, somehow getting sprayed with cold water in the process. He’d be annoyed, but it’s at least 95 degrees outside. “I just- I prefer them in smaller, calmer groups.”

Becca just rolls her eyes, and turns her attention back to the kids. “You’re gonna make a heck of an educator, big brother.”

Bucky’s about to snark right back but then Aileen Robinson, Angela’s mother, slides open the back door and walks into the yard with a fresh bowl of fruit in hand. Following her is a short, slim blond boy wearing a backpack and carrying a sizable canister of what Bucky guesses is helium. It is a birthday party, after all.

Aileen sets the bowl down on one of the folding tables on the patio, and then motions for the blond to follow her to where Bucky and Becca are standing.

Bucky can’t quite pinpoint how old the the stranger; he could be all of sixteen, but he could also be closer to Bucky’s age. Bucky really hopes the guy’s not in high school because he’s about a hundred percent Bucky’s type.

The guy’s hair gleams golden in the afternoon sun, a little bit tousled and very soft-looking. His eyes are large and bright, the kind of color Becca and her goofy friends would refer to as fanfiction blue. His cheekbones are sharp, giving him sort of a elfin look that the LOTR nerd that lives inside Bucky finds absolutely adorable. His nose is just a touch too big for his finely drawn features, and it looks like maybe it’s been broken a time or two, but Bucky finds it oddly charming. The guy’s lips are plush and look incredibly kissable.

When Bucky manages to drag his gaze away from the stranger’s mouth, he finds those pretty blue eyes trained squarely on him, and the guy’s brow is furrowed. Bucky’s not sure if it’s annoyance or confusion or a mix of both.

Fuck.

Bucky does his best to smile, but it feels tight and unnatural, and he knows there’s a blush blooming on his cheeks. Becca snickers softly beside him - of course she’d noticed - and Bucky elbows her in the side, hard enough to make her yelp.

Aileen seems completely unaware of the strange tension between the young men as she shouts for the kids to settle down for a moment.

“I have a surprise for all of you!” the woman beams down at the children as they fidget, eager to get back to their games. “This is Steve Rogers, and he’s a balloon artist, so if any of you would like a balloon animal or anything like that, he’ll be here all afternoon!”

Steve smiles and waves at the kids, none of whom seem particularly interested in balloon art at the moment. Bucky figures that might change when they’ve worn themselves out a little bit; the heat’s too thick and humid for them to be this active all afternoon. But now, all they do is stare at Steve for a moment, and then go back to sprinting after each other through the yard.

Steve just shakes his head with a rueful smile.

“Steve, let me introduce you to our party chaperones,” Aileen says, and Bucky shakes himself so that Steve doesn’t catch Bucky staring at his mouth again.

“This is Becca Barnes, Angela’s babysitter,” Aileen smiles as she gestures to Becca. “She’s been an absolute lifesaver so far this summer for Jeff and I. And this is her brother Bucky. Now, Jeff and I are going to be busy getting the food together for the kids, but these two can help you out if you run into any little problems.”

Aileen then turns her attention to Becca as she continues, “Of course, any emergencies, you know you come and interrupt us right away.”

“Of course, Aileen,” Becca nods, taking the older woman’s arm and gently steering her back toward the house. “Bucky and I will handle the kids, and we’ll help Steve out with anything he needs. You just worry about getting lunch together, OK?”

Becca follows Aileen back toward the house, leaving Bucky and Steve standing awkwardly in the middle of the yard.

“Um,” Bucky starts, trying to break the ice as he points at the canister in Steve’s hand. “Can I, uh, help you with that?”

Bucky knows he’s said the wrong thing as soon as Steve’s eyes narrow and his lips thin into a tight line.

“I’ve got it, thanks,” Steve replies cooly. “I know I’m small, but I’m not incapable of carrying the stuff I need to do my job.”

“I- I didn’t,” Bucky stammers out, hands spread out in what he hopes is a placating manner. “That’s- that’s not what I meant. I was just tryin’ to be helpful; I’m sorry.”

Steve’s expression has softened slightly, but it’s still wary as he says, “It’s fine. But really, I’m good. Thanks anyway.”

And then Steve’s walking toward the picnic table on the other side of the yard and Bucky is cursing himself. He’s supposed to be the charming, confident Barnes sibling and he’s already completely fucked up his chances of chatting up Steve.

Bucky sighs, resolving to just do what he came here for - keep an eye on some kids and hang out with his little sister.

And, ok, yeah, maybe he’s gonna sneak a few glances at the pretty blond that Aileen Robinson hired as party entertainment.

He’s only human.

Steve’s actually having a pretty solid birthday in spite of the fact that he has to work. The gig’s gonna pay well, the kids asking for balloon animals have so far been very polite and grateful, and he’s found the only patch of the yard that appears to be permanently in the shade.

The tall, dark and handsome brunet chaperoning the party with his sister certainly isn’t hurting matters either, Steve thinks with a smile as he glances over at Bucky. The young man is nodding and grinning as the birthday girls talks animatedly about lord knows what.

Steve takes a moment to study Bucky while Bucky’s attention is on the child. He’s got dark hair that’s long enough to pull back into a sloppy bun, which Steve finds absolutely adorable. His eyes are the color of a stormy sea (Steve cringes internally at the cliché, but it fits). And that smile, god, but it makes Steve a little weak in the knees.

It’s sort of pathetic, really, that a stranger can have such an immediate affect on Steve, but the guy had blushed a pretty shade of pink when Steve had caught him sharing, so sue him for enjoying the attention.

Angela’s gaze strays to Steve after a few minutes of chatter, a shy little grin on her face before she stares down at her feet and shakes her head. Bucky follows her gaze, then tugs on the kid’s arm, pulling her in Steve’s direction. She follows a little reluctantly, refusing to look up as she and Bucky reach Steve.

“Angela, it’s your birthday,” Bucky reassures the child as he aims a grin Steve’s way, and the hot summer day must be affecting Steve’s weak lungs because he’s having a little trouble breathing.

Definitely just the heat, Steve thinks as Bucky continues, “I’m sure Steve here would be more than happy to make you a balloon flower.”

Steve’s lips twitch slightly before he squats so that he’s at eye level with Angela.

“A flower balloon, huh?” Steve asks, chuckling as Angela finally meets his gaze and nods. “Of course; anything for the birthday girl. What colors would you like me to use?”

Angela tugs on the leg of Bucky’s shorts, a pleading look on her face. Bucky smiles and leans down so that she can whisper something to him, winking at Steve when he catches the blond’s eye.

Shit, Steve thinks as his heart rate  begins to speed up. He’s really hot.

Of course, Steve couldn’t meet a guy this cute in a normal setting like out at a bar or a concert or something, oh no. Had to be at a kid’s party where he’s hired to making fucking balloon animals and shit.

“Angela would like you to use purple and blue for her flower, please,” Bucky says, drawing Steve from his thoughts. Steve smiles and nods before he gets to work, filling each balloon with helium and twisting until he’s holding out a flower to the little girl standing before him.

“Wow,” Angela breathes, a wide grin breaking across her features as she looks up. “Thank you, Mister Steve!”

And then the kid’s tearing off back toward Becca, shouting to her about how pretty her birthday flower is.

“Yeah, thanks, Mister Steve,” Bucky chuckles, suddenly looking a little shy as the two of them stand alone once again. The brunet tucks a strand of his dark hair behind his ear as he smiles at Steve, gray-blue eyes unsure.

“Look, I, um, I wanted to apologize again,” Bucky exhales. “I didn’t mean to offend you or anything when I asked if you needed help earlier. I was just trying to be polite, and I hope you won’t hold it against me.”

Steve huffs out a laugh. “I think I might be able to forgive you, yeah.”

Bucky’s positively beaming at that, and Steve kind of can’t believe that something so simple has made this handsome man so happy.

“Glad to hear it,” Bucky replies, batting his eyelashes in a way that Steve would love to read as flirtatious, but there’s no way-

“Be a shame to make a bad impression on somebody as pretty as you.”

Ok, so maybe there is a way, Steve thinks as he gapes up at Bucky.

“You should, um, you should sit and eat with Becca and me when the food’s ready,” Bucky says, shoving his hands into his pockets. “If you want to, I mean.”

“Sure,” Steve somehow manages to get his vocal cords working again, and he’s impressed by his even tone. “That’d be nice.”

A pretty solid birthday, indeed, Steve thinks as he watches Bucky make his way back over to Becca, a disbelieving smile on his face.

“So, Steve,” Becca asks in between bites of her hot dog. “How old are you?”

Bucky casts a sidelong glance at his sister, and Becca just shrugs and smiles innocently like she’s not about to embarrass the hell out of him.

Granted, they got through the first twenty minutes or so of their meal just chatting and laughing like normal people, so Bucky guesses he should be grateful for that much at least.

“Twenty-two,” Steve answers as he pops a French fry into his mouth. “How old are you?”

“Seventeen,” Becca says with a grin as she looks over at Bucky. “You know my big brother is also twenty-two. Just graduated from college this past May, and he’s planning on staying in town for the foreseeable future. Got a job at the local middle school and everything.”

Jesus Christ, Beck, Bucky thinks as he gives his sister a look that he hopes conveys, For the love of God, shut up.

Becca does not shut up.

“I bet you guys would get along great,” Becca continues with a sly smirk in Bucky’s direction.

“What makes you say that?” Steve asks, clearly trying not to laugh at the two of them, and Bucky’s embarrassed but also glad that Steve is amused and not absolutely horrified by his little sister’s teasing.

“Just a hunch,” Becca winks, before standing and grabbing her plate. “I’m gonna go grab seconds and check in with Angela. You two have fun chatting.”

Bucky has no doubt that there’s a light flush coloring his cheeks as he looks up from his plate and meets Steve’s eyes.

“You all right?” Steve asks with a wry grin.

Bucky sighs, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he says, “Yeah, I’d just like to apologize to you again. My little sister can be a little, uh, obvious when she thinks somebody’s my type.”

Steve chuckles, tilting his head to one side as he says, “Hate to break it to you, Bucky, but callin’ me pretty was fairly obvious, so that must run in your family or somethin’.”

Bucky just stares at Steve for a moment, completely unsure of what to say because, yeah, that hadn’t exactly been subtle, had it?

Steve startles Bucky from his thoughts by placing his hand gently over Bucky’s.

“Relax, Buck,” Steve says. “I didn’t mind.”

“Oh,” Bucky replies, trying to ignore the way his voice cracks. “Ok, good. Wouldn’t wanna make things awkward for you at your job, you know?”

Steve just laughs and tells Bucky to shut up and finish his burger.

Steve knows somebody’s in trouble as soon as he sees one little boy sprinting after another. The second child has stolen the first’s piece of cake, if Steve’s deciphering the nearly incoherent shouts of rage correctly.

He just doesn't expect for the kid holding the cake to trip on a root of the tree beneath which Steve’s standing. Or for the cake to go flying into the air. Or for it to land on his head.

But that’s exactly what happens.

For a moment, everything is still, as though the party is holding its collective breath as frosting drips down Steve’s face. And then it’s chaos.

“Oh my god,” Aileen cries as she hustles over toward Steve, ignoring the kids’ shouts and shrieks of laughter. “Aiden, Kyle go sit down right now. Steve, I’m so sorry. Here, let me help you get cleaned up.”

Steve’s about to reassure the woman that he can handle it, but then Bucky’s standing up and clearing his throat to get her attention.

“Let me take care of it, Aileen, really,” Bucky says. “Better if a real authority figure stays out here and talks to those boys.”

Aileen nods, thanking Bucky and telling him to take Steve to the upstairs bathroom so he won’t be disturbed - “second door on the left” - and then Bucky’s herding Steve inside.

“You know, I think I can find the bathroom myself,” Steve protests, but Bucky just takes his hand and drags him up the steps. Steve’d be lying if he said he’s not kind of enjoying the warmth of Bucky’s palm along with his firm grip.

“Yeah, you probably can, but I kind of need a break from the munchkins, and this feels like a pretty good excuse,” Bucky replies, and sure, Steve can understand that.

They reach the bathroom, and Bucky lets go of Steve’s hand. Steve misses the heat immediately.

“I’ll just wait out here while you get the icing outta your hair, all right?” Bucky says.

Steve nods, walking into the immaculate, white-tiled bathroom and pushing the door until it snaps closed. The Robinsons have one of those removable shower heads, thank god, so Steve simply kneels down on the blue bath mat at the edge of the tub and washes his hair.

He likes their shampoo; it smells like apples.

Once Steve has rinsed his hair and scrubbed his face, he towels himself dry. Then, he opens the door and motions for Bucky to walk through the frame.

“Do me a favor and let me know if I missed a spot or anything?” Steve asks.

Bucky’s smile is soft as he nods, motioning for Steve to do a little twirl so he can check the back of Steve’s head. Steve spins slowly, acutely aware of Bucky’s eyes on him.

Once Steve’s done a complete rotation, Bucky reaches out and grabs Steve’s arm, tugging him forward.

“Missed a spot,” Bucky murmurs, and holy shit, they’re standing very close, and Bucky’s hands are on him, and Steve can’t seem to breathe.

“Want me to get it?” Bucky asks, voice raspy and low, and there’s no trace of his earlier shyness, just a predatory sort of gleam in his stormy eyes.

Steve’s voice refuses to cooperate, so he just nods, breath hitching as Bucky leans closer.

Bucky’s finger brushes along the skin at the corner of Steve's lips, and Steve sees a trace of icing at the tip as Bucky pulls it back.

And Bucky's tongue is curling around the digit and sucking, his intense gaze never leaving Steve. It's a small miracle that he's standing so close to the sink because this little display has Steve’s knees buckling, and he has to grab the edge to stay on his feet.

Bucky seems to notice Steve’s predicament and wraps an arm securely around his waist, pulling him even closer.

“Shit,” Steve whispers as Bucky’s warm breath ghosts across his lips, unable to help the small shudder that wracks his body.

“I think you should kiss me,” Steve blurts, more than a little amazed that one, he’s actually just voiced that thought aloud, and two, that his voice is remarkably composed.

Bucky apparently doesn’t need to be told twice.

Bucky really likes the feel of Steve’s mouth moving soft and slow against his own. Likes the way Steve kind of sags into him, his small, yet long-fingered hands gripping Bucky’s shoulders tightly. Like the soft sounds slipping from Steve’s lips as they kiss.

Bucky breaks for air a moment later because the two of them have already been gone a while and if they keep going, Bucky’s not sure he’s going to be able to stop kissing Steve. He rests his forehead gently against Steve’s and listens to the blond try to catch his breath.

“How was that?” Bucky asks, liking the laugh Steve exhales.

“That was great,” Steve says. “This is turning out to be maybe the best birthday ever.”

Bucky jerks back, eyes narrowed as he surveys Steve.

“Party,” Steve amends quickly, eyes downcast as a blush suffuses his cheeks. “Best birthday party.”

Bucky can feel the slow smirk spreading across his lips as he presses Steve back against the sink, loving the gasp that leaves the blond’s kiss-swollen lips.

“Rogers,” Bucky begins, unable to hide the glee in his voice. “Is today your birthday, too?”

“Wh-what?” Steve stammers, whining as Bucky’s hands find his hips and squeeze. “No, of course not. Why would I be working on my birthday?”

“Don’t lie to me, Steve,” Bucky teases, leaning in and pressing open-mouthed kisses along Steve’s neck, relishing the way Steve arches up into him.

“Buck,” Steve groans as Bucky’s teeth graze the smooth skin of his throat. “Shit, ok, yes. Yes, it’s my birthday too. You happy?”

“Steve, I can’t imagine a scenario where I’d be happier than the one I’m in right now,” Bucky replies, as he pulls back and smiles down at Steve. “You should let me take you out after the party. As a birthday present.”

Bucky watches as Steve’s eyes widen in surprise, his lips parting slightly as Bucky takes a step back, giving Steve some breathing room.

“You-” Steve enunciates each word slowly- “want to take me out?”

“Yeah, Steve,” Bucky replies, shoving his hands into his pockets with a shy smile as he prays Steve will agree to this. Bucky’d been pretty sure Steve would be the only thing occupying his thoughts tonight and that was before they’d kissed. All he wants is to be around the blond for as long as possible.

So he says so.

“I really would,” Bucky continues. “If, uh, if you’d be interested.”

For a moment, Steve’s brows furrow and Bucky’s stomach drops because that look suggests that the blond’s about to turn him down. Which would really, really suck.

Instead Steve says, “You don’t even know me, Buck.”

“You’re right,” Bucky replies, reaching out to brush Steve’s damp hair back from his forehead. “But I’d like to, Steve. If you’ll let me, that is.”

And suddenly Steve’s smiling so bright that Bucky’s chest actually aches.

“Yeah,” Steve breathes, leaning up and catching Bucky’s lips in a quick kiss. “Yeah, I’d like that a lot.”

Somehow managed to get a date with a guy helping out at this birthday party, Steve texts his roommates as the party begins to wind down and parents come to collect their children. Don’t wait up.

When Steve looks up from his phone, Bucky’s grinning and waving him over, and yeah, Steve’s reaction after that first kiss was dead on.

This is definitely the best birthday ever.

#stucky #stucky au #birthday fic #modern setting #meet cute #awkward flirting #first kiss #fluff #pre-serum steve

[atleast-we-were-electrified]

I’ve been really mute the last couple of days on my socials because I’ve just honestly, been super duper anxious and struggling. I need to vent about why because I’m honestly not sure I’m going to ever ever get over it.

Anyways, back story, ever since the lead up to me turning 18, I’ve always said that a party wasn’t for me because the thought of being the centre of the attention and reasoning for people being there made me vERY anxious and uncomfortable and I always tried to lighten my feelings by saying to my family, “if you throw a surprise party for me, I’m gonna be out of there as quick as got in.”

This still applied leading up to most recently, my 21st. Other family / extended family were pestering me for months telling me that I should have a party for whatever reason they were pulling out the box and every time it was the same, repetitive, auto pilot response saying that it’s just a huge no for me and I’d rather keep it really lowkey. Now, bare in mind I’ve always kept telling folk it is due to anxiety reasons to close family and friends as it tend to make me feel really silly and stupid that that was my main reason for not having a party.

You can only imagine the amount of times I’ve had to explain myself over not wanting to have a party, family and friends could EASILY recite my response to being asked better than I do by now! - it’s been THAT often. I couldn’t have expressed it any more stronger to everybody about how overwhelming it would be for me, for all of the wrong reasons. ( I mean, for a gal who ends up having an internal panic over happy birthday, or her name getting shouted, you’d just take no for an answer and move on)

My mum had arranged for me to come for drinks in her work with some of her friends who are regulars in there, as they were keen for me to come for birthday drinks since I turned 21 at the beginning of July. I didn’t think much of it as it had been a lowkey arrangement since June!! I don’t really know the gals but felt awful saying no to turning up as it was lovely of them to have thought about me, and asked.

So, I toddled through to my mums work on Saturday evening when I had finished my own work, to be welcomed by BIRTHDAY BANNERS all over the pub, BIRTHDAY BALLOONS all over the pub, BIRTHDAY CONFETTI all over the tables and a DJ on. It did take me a minute to really click what was happening and I just walked in and minded by business (I was birsting for a pee lmao) and then it all clicked to me that I’d just walked into what felt like a surprise 21st birthday party for me?

I said hi to those who stopped me in my tracks and when I stopped and closed the door in the toilet, I fully just EXPLODED into tears and sheer panic it was horrible, I hadn’t experienced a panic attack like it in such a long time😢 I was cautious about staying quiet incase someone else comes in to use the other cubicle so it was double panic and worry. I just was in the most disbelief that after me explaining on hundreds of occasions how a surprise party would made me feel, that it was something they went ahead and done!? Asides being so anxious, i was incredibly hurt, angry and feeling betrayed?

Now il try avoid more details becuase it’s irrelevant really but, throughout the night, I noticed there was another birthday cake, that had clearly been made fresh and personalised for my 21st. It was thinking of these details and what I had said before that really confirmed to me what I’d first initially felt when I walked through the door. I had people come up and ask me if I was shocked and surprised about my birthday party, the DJ kept announcing it as “Caitlin’s 21st Birthday Party”.

Asides those I thought I was meeting, one of my mums friends was there, and the rest was all of the customers who drink in the pub pretty frequently, so again, are also regulars. So, this also made me feel very isolated, which surely isn’t right!!

My mum had the night off, much to my surprise again also, so she was joining us for drinks but since she knew everybody there, I was myself near enough so it felt because I didn’t know how to make the dreaded small conversation and being so anxious made this harder for me:/ Mum (and other customers) also made me aware of that she had texted them nearly 3 WEEKS ago that this was happening. My mum also took great pleasure in telling all of my family although they couldn’t make it, and also some other friends of hers which I know, who also didn’t make it.

Now, this is where it sits even more uncomfortable with me...where we’re MY FRIENDS?? you told people it wasn’t going to be a party (you told them it was a DISCO... that’s the same thing lol) as such but this is very much what it is!! None of my friends were made aware of this happening and I actually got a text from one of them thinking that I had fallen out with them and asked me to justify why I had (I obviously hadn’t, but they were upset to haven’t been invited to again, my BIRTHDAY PARTY)

Don’t get me wrong, some of the customers went out their way to get me a card etc and had kindly put money in it, which I’m super greatful for it was far too kind of them to do that!

The full ordeal was just super super overwhelming and every time I went to the toilet, I was having a fulll on crying session and taking mini panic attacks and still had to somehow sit the entire night looking like I was enjoying myself, which I probably didn’t do good at, but it’s the last time I let myself not fix my anxieties becuase it wouldn’t suit others if I did! If anything, holding it all in and having bursts in private, probably made me worse.

It makes me so upset thinking about it and it makes my heart rate just go up (kid you not my heart rate sat at 92+ bpm for 4 hours straight, and it peaked at 128bpm...my resting is anything between 52-70bpm, so ideally, not healthy!!!!) I was exhausted from my own feelings and it made it so much worse when everyone kept telling me how lovely it was and “not a big deal compared to an actual party” it was. This was beyond anything I ever ever wanted , and it sounds so ungrateful to say considering there was time and money and preparation put into making it a good night, but my feelings about it just can’t be switched off.

My parents, have clearly not done it to upset or hurt me in anyway, but I feel as though no thought was put into even considering for a millisecond about how it was going to make me feel. I couldn’t sleep that night. It felt as though I was on a full cardio sprint work out, but not going anywhere, the adrenaline this was giving me from being so anxious was horrible. I didn’t know, nor do I still, don’t know what to do. I couldn’t blurt out and tell everybody that it doesn’t seem like my feelings are being accounted for because I don’t want this, nor do I want to be here.

The first thing my mum said to me was that “it’s only a wee thing”...no, this wasn’t a wee thing!! A few days later, I’m still a huge ball of negative emotions and my mental health is just fucking shit...I just keep replaying it all in my mind. I just can’t believe how I greatful my anxiety is making me seem and it’s really not the case:( I’m just hurt and angry becuase despite not doing it to hurt me, they were more than aware of how it was going to make me feel if it’s something they ever thought was going to be a good idea to do - that’s what sets me off more alongside being anxious becuase it makes me feel so so invalid and isolated, which is already bad enough when my mental health is at a low.

Part of me wants to sit my parents down, and chat this out with them, but my relationship with my mum is very very mixed , to say it in the kindest way! I tell her this, and there really bad tension and arguments on her part for the next 2 weeks, adding to my anxiety. I also don’t want them thinking I had the best night ever and then to do it again for me and be ‘none the wiser’ - I’m just fully stumped. I don’t know how to help myself with shaking of all of my feelings right now, nor do I know how others can ( not that I expect this)

Isk guys, this is all here there and everywhere and I really didn’t know how to explain the ordeal or how it truest made me feel, I just needed to vent it out becuase it’s made me upset now whilst lying in bed cause I’m still on edge with anxiety from Saturday sooo yeah idk I’m off but if anybody happens to read that, pls send me photos of cute animals (I’m scared of cats so pls avoid them thank u)