#you have to risk in once in a while

[nellasbookplanet]

I just caught up with ep 63 and I'm fucking vibrating. The difference of the Bor'dor reveal and the Dusk reveal! Dusk spending their entire time with the party stirring up drama, once caught out still openly provoking and trying to find an angle to straight up kill Fearne's parents, and the party still struggling to find every reason to let them go, let them live. And Dusk never gave a shit. Why would they! They were a fey assassin! And still the Hells fought and argued for them and let them walk away despite openly remaining a threat.

And then we get Bor'dor, wet paper tissue of a man, tragic backstory up to the gills, genuinely spending time to bond with them, having his little practice session with them being his proudest moment, sharing vulnerabilities. And though he drew first blood, he did it trying to run away, not kill! He did it having seen these people murder his friends and drag their dead bodies out of the hole! He was helpless on the ground, all but begging them to end him because he saw no reason to keep going! There was enough turmoil and doubt in him that he could probably have been deradicalized! He hated them but he loved them too!

And had this been early campaign, in all likelihood they would have let him live. But this is a Bell's Hells who have already been betrayed once by an ally, who lost Eshteross to the Ruby Vanguard, who lost half the fucking party to the Ruby Vanguard, who went on a grueling journey to get Laudna back, who struggled and struggled and still failed to stop Ludinus and ended up separated and scared and not knowing whether the world is about to end or not, whether their friends are alive or not.

And they were done. They did not fight for him. This is war. Were Dusk to show back up now, I doubt they’d survive the encounter.

#cr3 spoilers #critical role #cr3 #bor'dor dog'son #dusk #i talked at one point about how c2 was all about the rewards of trust #about taking risks and being rewarded #c3 feels more like the darker side of trust and risk #sometimes you trust and get stabbed in the back. #sometimes you take a risk and your mentor dies‚ or half your party does‚ or you fail to stop the beginning of the end of the world #and you have to keep on going anyway bc it isn't over yet #i also once said there could’ve been a campaign 2 where matt leaned into the distrust and the paranoia #that it would’ve been interesting but much harder on the characters (beau caleb and fjord especially) #and i feel like that’s where laudna and orym are at right now #but bc they didn’t start out with paranoia and distrust as a core flaw the way many c2 characters did #they have better chances of learning and growing from this without being permanently damaged by it #while caleb/beau/fjord NEEDED to have their trust rewarded to be able to grow and heal #lessons in distrust would’ve split the m9 but has the chance to forge the bells hells #idk i just find it fascinating how different narratives serve different characters without eiter narrative being wrong #nella talks cr

[shcherbatskayas]

canada's euthanasia program is so fucked up that it actually makes me glad to be american for a moment (or at least not canadian) bc i absolutely would've used "you can be euthanized for persistent mental illness" to get a free, 100% guaranteed successful government suicide. i would've applied. i would've lied my ass off if necessary. if not actively dead, i would be in the process of filling out canadian suicide paperwork. i can't move to canada and be on canadian government health insurance for the same reasons i can't allow myself to own a gun. i must live and thus i can't give in to the temptation of getting old yeller'd by a bunch of fucking mounties. i'd love to visit but my mentally ill ass is never moving to montreal.

#once again when i talk about my persistent suicidality i must tell you i am not at any immediate risk #i've just been mentally ill since childhood so this is on my mind a lot #i am okay i just would probably be less okay and more dead if i was canadian #i said most of this on my priv twitter while having a Fit but i think it bears repeating #more people should know about how bad canada's maid program is

[dramarants]

i only want love triangles if it's whatever fucked up polygon junmo kicheol and euijeong have going on

#the worst of evil #ranting #idk how to articulate how juicy it is #junmo's fierce protectiveness of his wife - he trusts her but can't help his jealousy fear or frustration while trapped in the situation #euijeong hurting but putting her own life on the line worried for her husband while unpacking the memories of her first love #she can't help but sympathize with kicheol and what he's endured; haven't seen much of how she feels rn but it must be c o n f l i c t e d #(not necessarily even in a romantic way but wanting to root for a person chasing their goals who was once so important to you) #(all while grieving her mother without the support of her literal goddamn spouse by her side) #and kicheol. also grieving and trying to establish a place for himself and his crew yet drawn to junmo despite the red flags #his panic and desperation when jungmo bled out on him which must have triggered his own memories of losing taeho #junmo who has every reason to despise kicheol barely concealing his general rage but protects him like it's second nature at every turn #all while conflicted as a bystander to atrocities (and now willfully leaving another cop to die to protect himself his wife and the mission #getting mentally and physically pummeled left and right just bc his superiors demand it from him #all to please euijeong's family by using the promotions to prove himself and get rid of the stigma weighing him down #like !!! #and haven't even touched on kicheol wooing euijeong against his buddy's wishes and in such a pure heart fluttering way #accepting the risk for a second chance to bathe in the bright light she used to shine on his life #OMG AND BIBI'S ENTRANCE!! junmo realizing her interest gives him leverage and agency but struggling to use it to his advantage #it's soooo messy and i'm obsessed #that funeral arc is gonna haunt me for years #as is the tension during the pat down which def was supposed to be like a gang pride/dignity/lack of power against the jp folks thing #also testing their relationship and responsibilites as leader subordinate #but felt charged around whether kicheol would protest or junmo would accept the manhandling in totally different 👀 ways #goddamn i wrote an essay and this doesn't even scratch the surface of the meat of the show #tldr; i have many many feelings and for once the 'love triangle' isn't making me gauge out my own eyeballs #it's about power it's about raising the stakes and revealing things about the characters w/o dominating the plot

[felixcatton]

it's 1:30 am and i'm thinking about how logan and rory both grow up feeling like their lives aren't really theirs. how logan uses risk and impulse as a way to feel some semblance of control over his life in response to his father's control. how in contrast, rory spends her life with a tight grip on just about everything, clings to safety and a clear path forward, because she worries that her success is the thing holding her and her mom's life together.

#logan leans into recklessness and rory leans into careful control #how those different approaches reflect their different relationships with their parents #logan is just full of resentment and anger while rory loves her mom so much and couldn't stand it if she didn't make her proud #i could say so much about logan's consistent willingness to risk his life. cause at least that means it's his to risk. #rory feels that nothing is hers to risk. nothing at all! #and how their relationship helps them both find balance between these two extremes #logan realizing that finding love and care for himself and others is its own way of rebelling against his upbringing #or that love and care is more important than rebelling at all #rory realizing that sometimes you need to jump to make anything happen #that her life should be hers not just the fulfillment of what lorelai's 'should have' been #they just. were building a life together that was something other than what so many people thought they should build. #it was theirs and no one else's. and it helped them each feel for once like their lives were their own. i feel SICK. #idkkkkk goodnight #rogan #rory x logan #logan huntzberger #rory gilmore #u already know this is not going in the main gg tag

[moonchild-in-blue]

Vegan whipped cream exists!! I've made it before. You just get coconut cream in a can and put it in the fridge overnight, and then beat the crap out of it the next day until it has soft peaks!! Unless you're allergic to coconut :( in which case I apologize and this ask is useless 😂

I hate coconut 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Seriously, being super picky and weird about food is the worse when you also have allergies and intolerances 😔😔😔😔😔

I appreciate that - at this point it might be might best shot so. I'll give it a go one of these days, although I have very low hope. I do really really REALLY love coconut flavoured yogurt so 🤔 who knows.

But seriously. We have vegan milk. We have vegan cooking cream. Vegan butter. Vegan yogurt (although I'm okay with regular). Vegan ice cream (which I do love actually).

Why. Do we not. Have vegan whipped cream that *tastes* like regular whipped cream?? Why chickpea juice?? Can't yall scientists just hurry up and find a solution?? I wanna eat my waffles THE PROPER WAY okay?

#I love whipped cream so so much #one of the first things i did when i moved out was to get myself a can and eat it straight for the fridge #like older brothers in 90s/00s Disney movies #of course i had to stop digesting milk. stupid adult body #i still risk it once in a while but. it kills me having to reject it so many times #thank you for the tip tho. i shall give it a go 😔✋ #darya answers

[barnbridges]

not to be um... siding with the catholic church on something. but yall agree with surrogacy for the WRONG REASONS and it shows.

#its proven again and again that most surrogate mothers are young and impressionable #and that donor conceived people are under so many risks and they get no support from governments or the industry that makes billions #frankly if you think the church is just “being judgemental” you're wrong #they have valid reasons that you MIGHT DISAGREE WITH but they are reasons #surrogacy contracts ARE flawed and exploitative of women's bodies #receiving financial support from surrogacy is indeed imperfect and supposes risks #like im not saying all surrogacy is evil and the church should get legal rights over women's bodies. but once in a while they do have points #about humanity and exploitation. that some capitalism-pilled governments don't like.

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

In the last scene in thanks to them, after flapjack sacrifices himself and hunter wakes up, you can. Like. FEEL luz's guilt. As soon as she's sure hunter is alive luz immediately removes herself from the situation. While camilla willow and gus are helping hunter up and checking that he feels okay, luz shuts her eyes and walks away from the group. She refuses to face her friends until they have to go to HER. Even before that, when the gang watched belos go through the portal, everyone else's expressions were of fear. But luz's expression was of resignation and determination.

She cant bear be around hunter. She cant even stand to look at him. Not when she blames herself for what happened to him and flapjack. Hunter would never blame luz for anything, but luz has a habit of taking every event that tangentially relates to her and twisting it to fit her self loathing. If she had helped look for belos better, maybe hunter wouldnt have gotten possessed. If she hadnt teleported to grab belos, maybe flapjack wouldnt have been close enough to get caught. We the audience know luz couldnt have stopped belos, but to her is just another item in her long list of mistakes.

Judging by her expression when hunter comes up to talk to her, luz is HORRIFIED at the new scars that belos gave him. (That she "let" belos give him) And i cant help but wonder how this new guilt is going to eat at her for the next two episodes. On top of the belos thing, the guilt she likely still has about leaving her mom and everything that happened with eda in the s1 finale, and everything with king, now one of her best friends (and family member she said shed protect!) has lost his palisman because of her. Every time luz looks at hunter shell be reminded of how he was hurt because of what she thinks are her mistakes.

Idk if theyll explore this in depth or even mention it because luz already feels really guilty about everything else and thats already going to take the whole finale to unpack. But this is one more thing for luz to tear herself up over and i cant wait to see how that goes

#the owl house #toh #shut up pandora #luz noceda #hunter toh #hunter noceda #thanks to them #i wonder if luz thinks hunter is mad at her for the possession thing #hunter would literally never be genuinely mad at luz for anything this serious #but i can see luz thinking oh i didnt believe him about seeing belos so he ran off and got possessed #and once he got possessed i teleported his palisman right to his palisman eating uncle #and even hunters 'inspiring speech' can be twisted by her even thouh he was obviously trying to make her feel better #when hunter said lets fight back for flapjack he meant like in flapjacks honor and maybe like a revenge thing #luz is somehow going to twist it into oh you were the reason flapjack died so you have to defeat belos to make up for it #even during the belos fight when luz teleported to him its giving misplaced guilt vibes #like yes her friends are all fighting so she wants to help #and yes luz is a certified nerd of course shes going to hug her brother and do the 'i know youre in there!' thing #but teleporting up to the goop man and grabbing him? its like she wants to get injured #she blames herself for hunter getting possessed so she thinks she shouldnt stand aside while her friends fight belos #and if anyone should risk getting injured to do the "i know youre in there' thing it should be her #luz babygirl you are SO mentally ill i cant wait to see you get iller #calling it now luz is going to sacrifice herself to save her friends and family and get horribly injured like eda and king in past seasons #she wont die ofc this is a tv y7 show and dying does nothing for her character arc #but she will suffer a LOT before camilla eda and amity can do the 123 combo of 'stop blaming yourself for everything and go to therapy' #*luz voice* hunter dana said its MY turn with the angst and wump #poor luz now she cant even be mentally ill with hunter anymore bc she might think hes mad at her #and one of the things shes mentally ill about is about him so he cant reflect that at her anymore #whos she going to be mentally ill to? herself #and itll keep going until she snaps i tell you

[sonego]

everyone (and i mean EVERYONE! minus trans people) always tells me that's it's a blessing i look younger than i am but try being 27 and not being able to buy a beer without getting 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

#i understand where ppl come from and it doesn't Bother me like i'm not upset about it #but i get like once a week and it's like yes yes i hear you but once i was asked why as a 10 year old they made me work #(i was 23 .) #after a while it's like yawn alright i get it i'm lucky #but again it's whatever. mildly annoying at best #the only real issue is when i risked having to out myself by showing my id :/

[dirt-str1der]

Yaoi has poisoned all of your fucking brains !!

#Yakuza HATEblog #i dont want to hear about the new yakuza trailer where kiryu proposed to soemone he wouldnnever do that thats so scary #also they refered to sayama as the cop lady like please show some respect to her she didnt be annoying for you to forget her #ive become homophobic now because i hated seeing a particular post so much like that will never happen you are crazy #like no this isnt how kzmj can win they have never even once considered a future together because kiryus foreplanning ended when he lost #his brother and majima has spent half her life waiting for saejima to come back like they have more important things to worry about #and kiryu is not able to share his kids with anybody he cant simultaneously raise haruka with someone he has to either be a single dad or an #absent dad no in between and sometimes haruka is left parentless in the middle of that mess but its not kiryus problem hes driving cars amd #beating people up .... well he does care sorry for insinuating he doesnt ... he thinks about his kids every day #but i guarantee you he does not think about majima every day i swear it to you he does not care about her that much !!! i have to forever #stress this doesnt mean that he hates majima but it simply means that shes not his priority AND SHE WILL NEVER BE !!! kiryu will never #risk it all just for a suckle on that majiwilly like he doesnt like her that much ... if kiryu didnt even give majima so much as a phonecall #when he was ignoring her the entirety of y3 AFTER tossing her back to the wolves just so he can play house at okinawa.. hes not going to #suddenly realise that he wants to spend the rest of his life with majima hes going to be pondering how miserable he is while beating the #fuck out of people because sorry i didnt actually pay attention to the gaiden stuff is kiryu a hitman now or some sort of mercenary either #way its so hot that hes paralleled by y0 majima because hes so depressed and wants to kill himself and forced to wear a nice suit and do #things he doesnt want to while being kept on a tight leash like hohooho ... have sex with me ...!!! #im going to kill him myself to put him out of his misery if i have to ... just let kiryu run off to america and join the cia im kidding but #wait i just thought of him actually running off and sayama pulling some strings in the force to keep people from looking for him because #shes like a bigshot cop now ... i think she should be able to cradle him gently and keep him like a show cat #a shivering wet penis in the rain and she takes him in and gives him a loving home ... i feel a little embarrassed talking about hetships #but the concept of kiryu just being in her house and living with her is making me laugh like wow ... hes straight now.... like obviously hes #still not going to be like lets get married 🥰 but sayama would want to... i believe that she could forge their documents so kiryu isnt an #illegal immigrant anymore and she gives him an american name so john yakuza can become real ... its like a fake dating au but they really #arent dating theyre just having sex and acting out scenes from a kdrama but eventually kiryu will have to go back because hes so sad #without his kids and he needs to see them one last time to pass away peacefully. sorry i just remembered how much older kiryu was than #sayama like thats a bit funny ... like i still think kiryu should be into older guys or girls but like we cant always have that happen #like how majimas options for getting fucked by creepy old guys are getting lesser year by year because those old geezers keep dying and hes #old now too ... like theyre so old thats fucked. i know ive been saying how kzmj can never win but i do think majima should breastfeed kiryu

[tea-earl-grey]

every time I get an asthma attack from existing in an indoor public place because someone is smoking they should have to pay for the $75 of asthma meds I take every month.

(disclaimer – I fully support the decriminalization and legalization of marijuana. i just also support the right for people with respiratory disabilities and sensitivities to exist)

#personal #vent #im on a FUCKING TRAIN. while im WEARING A MASK #its so easy to NOT SMOKE ON A TRAIN #im fine but my lungs are just gonna be uncomfy for the next two and a half hours. #if its outside its fine i can just move even if im annoyed #but whyyyyyy do so many people think its okay to smoke inside all of a sudden???? #if you need to smoke weed for anxiety i get it bro. but there are options that dont involve putting people at actual medical risk #i had someone tell me it wasnt a big deal once and i got to pull the “i have medically recorded lung damage from covid” card #anyways if youre a smoker cool but please be nice to people with respiratory disabilities. having asthma attacks suck. #i like being in cities but ive learned with how bad my asthma is i just usually have to leave my mask on while im walking around #which is a good practice regardless #i just wish i didnt HAVE to just because of The Smoke and Smells #and btw YES weed smell and smoke can trigger asthma attacks just as much as cigarette smoke!!!!! if not more so for me #same with strong perfumes and stuff #my posts

[youngpettyqueen]

just finished rewatching Cowboy Bebop (was making my dad watch it) and honestly it felt like I was watching it with a whole different set of eyes because I wasn't watching it immediately post-hysterectomy

#TMI IN THE TAGS YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED #so to elaborate #back in September 2022 I had a hysterectomy #which involved taking out my uterus my fallopian tubes and my cervix #this left me pretty much housebound for a couple weeks #nobody else was home after the first few days #my mom stayed home the first few days + that weekend she works in education but once I wasn't a fall risk I could be left alone #and my brother was in school and my dad was still working at the time #so this left me a lot of free time #and I'd been meaning to watch Cowboy Bebop for a while #im a big anime fan its one of the all time classics #so I put it on #and finished it in like. a couple days I was HOOKED I shot right through it #now. the thing about a hysterectomy is that it can impact your hormones a lot #and your sex drive #you can either have yours dip right outta existence #stay the same unchanged #or go into insane overdrive #for a few weeks #and well. mine went into insane overdrive and I was INSANELY down bad for Spike Spiegel #it was bad. it was animal #you can actually see some of it if you go through my Cowboy Bebop tag #because I had no way of doing anything about it because I literally risked tearing the stitches holding my insides together #so I suffered for WEEKS in horny-induced hyperfixation #and then I promptly got into MASH #so yeah. #anyways Cowboy Bebop is still 10/10 nice to watch while not literally blind with horniness #shoutout to you if you read these tags

[wutheringmights]

.

#my digestive issues are literally under the most control they have ever been in my life and they are still ruining my life #woke up fine today. went to a coffee shop. had to leave after an hour #i had so many plans for today and now i'm stuck at home because i can't be too far away from a bathroom #i didn't eat anything that would trigger this. my gut just hates me i guess #earlier this month i have a risk food but i thought i took enough precautions to be safe and it fucked me up for like #2 weeks straight #i wonder what its like for people to not have to wonder about bathroom access every time they leave the house #i wonder what its like to eat normal foods without calculating how sick its going to make you #i wonder what its like to not have entire plans tossed out the window for reasons beyond your control #fucking sucks man #i hate ibs #in exchange for my terrible gut i do have a fantastic immune system somehow but weirdly that means i never take time off work? #ok so i am so good at just managing my issues that i just power through whenever im sick. #it's not like i can afford to take time off whenever i feel sick anyway and besides once you have to take multiple AP tests in high school #while in the middle of an episode you grow a lot of tolerance for being functional while sick #but then. i just i could have excuses to take days off because i have a cold or something. get a rest every now and then #but what illnesses i get beyond digestion issues are so slight that i can just. power through. i am never ill enough to take time off #and i get so worried that one day I will need that PTO that I can't convince myself to use it for like mental health days and ugh #this is more of a personal problem than anything but still. i wish i got sick like a normal person

[satanfemme]

just got a tick for the first time in my entire life and I'm going to clean myself with fire I hate hate hate hate that thing definitely one of the worst experiences I've ever had I'm not exaggerating when I say that.

#I found it literally immediately after my walk so ofc logically I know it was a very low risk wrt health #but this isn't about health this is about the deep panic instincts ticks set off in me #when dogs at work have ticks I can't even LOOK at them (the dog) without getting freaked out #do u know how horrifying it is to have one EMBEDDED in you that YOU have to pull out asap - #- and you don't even know HOW to so then u have to google this shit while also panicking and screaming and crying and throwing up #and then once it's off u have to stab it 1000 times until it stops moving and then u wash ur entire leg with alcohol and then cry #ofc phineas doesn't have any (tho I'll check him 100 more times later just to be sure) because he has his tick collar but like #now I kinda want a tick collar for myself because I would rather die than even think about this concept for a second longer

[a-freak-gasoline-fight-accident]

so my cousin who couldn’t give a fuck about our grandparents just all of a sudden out of the blue invited them out to go see (i assume) the barbie movie, either at her support workers (has never worn a mask in this house) suggestion or her sisters (bitch) suggestion, so now they’re sitting in a packed movie theatre with no masks on : )

#i knew that if my grandparents were ever going to get covid that it'd be bc of my fucking cousins. i f they do get it AND die. well....... #you're endangering them. ur setting them up to catch this virus. why not go out to a park or a botanical garden or something for a few hours #just because YOU wanna see this movie does not mean u should drag ur 80 year old grandparents into a dangerous situation. this is the same c #cousin who takes martial arts classes once a week just so she can be more like a fictional ninja turtle. risking everyone she lives with for #for a fictional tv character. overheard her call me a bitch yesterday bc i turned off the lights she has in her room while she wasn't in the #there. we've had this discussion before about ger leavinf lights on while she out of the room for an extended period of time. she was outsid #outside painting a small table. u ask these ppl 2 do 1 thing that helps others n suddenly you're the devil. they better not catch this thing #like if you Absolutely had to see this movie with ur grandparents couldn't you have maybe wait a week or 2 for the crowds to thin???

[becca-alexa]

as someone who spent three years working a retail job if i ever hear someone complain about retail workers not smiling while working they are getting a punch to the throat

#becca.txt #i hate that comment so much #they're doing you a service my guy they absolutely do not get paid enough to smile while they deal with your sorry ass #don't ever complain to me about this you will find zero sympathy #and just don't complain about retail workers in general #it's not their fault there's no registers open or that the parking lot's full or that your item's out of stock #literally leave them alone and let them do their jobs #you couldn't pay them ENOUGH to make dealing with the general public bearable #i have horror stories of my time working at a wholesale store #literally part of the reason i hate goimg shopping now because the general public are all a bunch of menaces #i've been on the other side of the register and the counter and whatever and let me tell you people are vile #especially the 45+ crowd - obv not everyone but yeah the older they are generally the worse they get #i never had an issue with 20 year olds #once you get into 30s you get a few entitled assholes but those are here and there #the older crowd???should not be allowes to shop w/o supervision they will go for blood #and it's like they leave their brain in the car when they shop it's incredible #and that's not even talking about the amount of food waste they produce #people PLEASE you leaving refrigerated items anywhere because you don't want it anymore and you 'want to give the workers something to do' #is the WORST THING you can do #at the store i worked at the policy was if it's out it's trash - they took 0 risks w/food contamination #even if it's still cold to the touch if it's found out it's trashed #if you take something out PUT IT BACK WHERE YOU FOUND IT YOU ANIMALS #IS THAT SO HARD?WILL IT KILL YOU TO WALK 30 FEET AND PUT THE DAMN CHICKEN BACK INSTEAD OF LEAVING IT OUT ON THE TOWELS #god you couldn't pay me enough to go back to working retail #a million blessings to the brave souls still in the trenches i pray you all get jobs 1000 times better than what you have now

[clown-femme]

As I was on my way to work the other day I saw a printed sign on the door of the tea+snack place that's like 2 blocks away that I always walk to on my lunch. I couldn't see what it said bc I was in an Uber and it passed too quickly. If I go into the office again on Wednesday and it turns out that place is closed I'm gonna start eating drywall. Just wanted to update everyone.

#i didnt walk to it last Wednesday because i had too much work 2 do to leave the office for lunch #but my workload is a little more manageable this week so im gonna. #(i work full time but i only go in the office once a week) #its close enough to walk to + get food and drink and then walk back to the office from while still having break time left #the next closest tea place is a 15 minute walk one way which is FINE but i only have a 30 minute lunch #so thats like my whole break and then ive gotta munch my snack at my desk #and risk my coworkers learning that i subsist on food matter. can you imagine!