#you ever want to rant with someone about elias

[painsandconfusion]

The Carrot and the Stick

Whumping the Whumpers - Part Twenty-Eight

(tw: beating, broken bone mention, kidnapping, stress position, forced to watch, whipping boy, deferred punishment, Crawford being a bitch)

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Four Years Ago...

Ethan slumped against the ropes that kept him up on aching feet, for this particular moment, preferring the charring ropeburn against his wrists and the numbness they bring to the aching in his feet and legs.

Too long.

Too fuckign long he’d been left like this.

Then again, it wasn’t like Crawford found much else that kept him in line. At least this wore him down so the fight was…well. Less.

That and he was in the perfect position to be a pathetic little punching bag like this. His bruised ribs were a testament to that, that and the aching burn where his back butted up against the cinderblock wall with each hit.

But hey.

At least the cinder blocks were cool. It eased the pain a little.

Aaaaaaand there was the garage door opening.

Ethan glared up at the ceiling at the audible announcement of Crawford’s arrival home. Stupid fucking idiot hadn’t even given Ethan water yet today - you’d think if someone paid two thousand bucks for you, they’d actually want to keep you alive. Maybe Crawford was finally getting sick of Ethan’s insolence. 

Or maybe he was just stupid.

Both were equally plausible given what Ethan had seen of the man so far.

Good at business. Good at his work. Very very bad at keeping a personal pet/toy/punching bag.

The guy wasn't a natural leader - that was for damn sure. Ethan almost understood how he needed someone to take out his frustrations on. Not like anyone at the office took him seriously - yes, Ethan played therapist enough to know about that shit. Not a good therapist. He didn’t really talk. Just glared.

But hey, at least it was mildly less boring than rotting alone in the basement, so sure. He listened as the man paced and rambled and ranted, occasionally hitting, kicking, or whipping his ‘pet’.

Fucking idiot had no idea what he was doing. Ethan hated Nate and Elias plenty - but this guy? Honestly, he was just pathetic.

One of these days, he’d fuck up. He’d trust Ethan enough to take the ropes off - even just for a second. Then he was so fucked.

Ethan liked to daydream about that.

He’d dangle there as Crawford paced and spit venom at Randy and Devin (yes, Ethan knew the entire fucking office at this point. They all had accountant names. No wonder they were all dead inside), and Ethan would imagine Crawford. On the ground. Bleeding. Begging. Choking and gurgling his own blood. 

Such a pretty picture. Something he was almost proud of.

Pride was a fickle thing. Ethan never had much pride. Not much at all. Through school and activities, from foster home to foster home he’d stayed quiet. Stayed out of the way. He was the freak. Always had been. 

Somehow pride had found him through the blood. Or he’d found it. He’d found something to fight for. Something to keep the pain down. Keep his mind sharp.

It kept him alive. 

Ethan reassumed the dead-eyed gaze, pointing it at the top of the basement steps as he heard a key scrape against the padlock that kept the thick wooden door in place. Then the fucker opened it.

Ethan’s eyebrows pinched ever so slightly at the ever so confusing sight of Crawford looking…excited? Happy? Proud maybe?

That wasn’t normal. Usually when he came downstairs, he was just exhausted. Angry. Defeated or upset. He didn’t need Ethan when he was happy.

Ethan didn’t like the change. Unpredictability was always a sign of trouble. Anything that strays from the norm is an omen of pain. He’d been on this earth long enough to know that was true.

His eyes narrowed at the fucker as he trotted down the stairs, giving Ethan a charming smile. 

Crawford wasn’t charming - the expression looked wrong on him. Almost warped. Deranged.

“Good day?” Ethan’s voice was flat. Sarcastic.

Crawford stopped directly in front of Ethan, eyes wandering down his torso, roaming over blooming bruises. Yellow. Black. Red. Green. Blue. An assorted masterpiece of time well spent in Ethan’s particular predicament. “I guess you could say that…” Ethan twitched as Crawford’s hand raised, fingers pressing into a splash of mottled black and purple on his side - Ethan was about 30% sure his rib had cracked there. Though 30% isn’t high enough to bitch about it.

He bit out the response, mostly to distract himself from the flash of pain that twisted through his stomach. “Yeah?”

“Mhm - Do you remember that little talk we had yesterday?”

Ethan’s head tilted. “Honestly? I’m not really paying attention half the time you talk, so no.”

Crawford sighed, but evidently that wasn’t enough to ruin his mood. “The one about carrots and sticks?”

Mm. Yes, Ethan asking for a trip to Disney Land as incentive for being good rather than threats of more pain which clearly never worked.

Ethan smirked at the mention. “Am I getting a vacation?”

Crawford smiled in return. “Even better. You get a little friend.”

Ethan’s smile dropped. He was pretty sure his heart did, too. 

Anxious eyes flickered to the stairs. The door. 

He looked over Crawford, searching for any sign of joke or bluff. “...wh……..um. What now?”

Ethan hissed as Crawford’s grip tightened, thumb digging into the maybe-chipped-but-probably-just-internally-bruised bone. “I got a friend for you. Different kind of stick - or hey, you can see it as a carrot if you want. I don’t really care either way.”

Ethan squirmed a little to the side - away from the touch. “You–...you don’t need t…no one else needs to be here - you..-don’t do that-”

A little intrigue sparked in Crawford’s eyes. “You haven’t even met him yet and you’re already being so much better. I think this will work out nicely.” His hand pulled away, and Crawford stepped toward the stairs again.

Ethan’s mind scrambled.

Was someone already there?? How the fuck did Crawford get someone else? He couldn’t afford to buy another from Elias and he didn’t have the fucking balls to grab someone himself. ….did he?

Ethan’s eyes desperately followed Crawford - if Crawford had actually gotten someone because of Ethan - that person was fucked already. His fault.

It would be his fault.

No.

Ethan’s mouth opened and closed with protests he couldn’t quite find the words to voice. “..Sir you don’t have t-”

“Sir?? Already an improvement - you really aren't doing much here to vouch for your case, Ethan.”

Frustration bubbled up in Ethan’s chest, hot and thick. His hands rolled in the restraints, tugging at them. Narrowed eyes followed Crawford back up the stairs, dreaming of gripping him by the hair and jerking him back down them, head first. 

That would be a pretty sight.

Damn ropes.

“Fuck you.”

But Crawford was already ignoring him, opening the door and shoving a boy down the steps - he looked small. Early twenties with sandy blond hair that ran with a streak of jagged red blood. He barely stayed on his feet, stumbling and skittering down the stairs until he eventually toppled over on the last few stairs, crying out as the rough wood bit into his thighs and shoulders, and he crumpled to the ground at the bottom of the stairs.

Ethan’s blood ran cold as he watched them whimper, scrambling back with horror-filled eyes locked on Elias.

The boy wasn’t collared. He wasn’t trained.

He was new to this.

He would have been okay if Ethan had just been good - Crawford never would have needed someone else. 

Ethan felt sick, teeth barred at Crawford as the man descended after his new catch. “You like him, E? His name’s Johnny.”

Ethan grit his teeth, jerking against the ropes. “You’re so fucking pathetic,” he seethed, barely tracking Johnney’s scramble backwards - it was a little awkward with his hands bound in front of him. “He’s half your size, are you fuckign kidding me???”

Crawford shrugged, stepping up to Johnny as the boy’s back hit the far wall. “Not in the slightest. From now on, he is going to take your punishments. Most of them, at least. You fuck up? I hit him.”

To demonstrate, Crawford gripped Johnny’s hair, pulling a shrill yelp from the boy, and threw him into the ground facedown. He punted him hard in the side.

Ethan paled, tugging uselessly against the ropes. “Stop! What the fuck are you doing!?”

“Already told you.” Another kick, and Johnny screamed, curling up tight to protect his middle. He clearly wasn't used to pain. He couldn’t take this like Ethan could. “That’s rule two, Ethan. I give the orders. Not you.”

Ethan’s heart slammed in his chest, desperation dripping through his veins. “Jus-just stop - stop, you don’t need to do that-”

Crawford raised a brow, bending down to grab Johnny by the back of his shirt collar, dragging him up to his knees. “Are you seriously telling me what to do again?” 

Ethan winced at the cry as Crawford split Johnny’s cheek open with a downward fist. Tears leaked through the strike, dragging thin blood down freckled cheeks. 

“Rephrase, Ethan.”

Ethan’s mind scrambled, eyes locked onto this small stranger whose fate was sealed. Because of him.

His fault.

It was always his fault. 

Ethan’s mouth opened and shut, trying again and again before eventually forming a soft whisper around “please-”

Johnny’s sharp, shallow breaths and choked sobs rang through the room for a few long, icy moments as Crawford’s eyes raked over Ethan. 

“Again.”

Ethan’s lips pinched into a thin line, a glare heating his gaze again. Until he glanced down at Johnny. 

And it softened. Slightly, but it softened. Desperation lit anew at the sight of the boy doubling over - hiding his face behind bound wrists. 

Ethan swallowed thickly, forcing the word out. “..please.”

Crawford’s lips twitched toward a smirk. “Please what?”

Ethan’s eyes screwed shut, fury and frustration and shame all burning through him. His fingers curled into fists as he forced the words up.

They caught in his throat, resting at the back of his mouth - refusing to play their part in keeping Johnny safe.

Pride was a fickle thing.

And just as soon as Ethan found it, he had to strangle it back down into its shoebox in the darkness. 

And it didn’t want to go. 

It thrashed and clawed every step of the way, drawing blood and screams and bleating like a dying animal with nothing left to lose. 

It just made this all the harder when Johnny gasped a desperate whimper.

Ethan’s eyes shot open to find a blade pressed to the hyperventilating Johnny’s throat - Crawford standing over him with an eyebrow cocked at Ethan. “I’m waiting.”

Ethan slammed the shoebox shut, trying to ignore the claws scrabbling against the cardboard.

Fuck pride.

This wasn’t worth it.

His eyes stung anyway as he forced out the sentence. “..please Master- just..please stop-”

Crawford flashed a grin, dropping Johnny who shoved and scrabbled and crawled as far from the man as he could. 

“Good boy.”

Ethan twitched away as Crawford stepped closer, hand patting his cheek.

He wanted to scream obscenities. To snap at the hand and see if he could draw blood. Kick. Anything. 

But he didn’t. 

He just pinned his eyes shut, face turning down and away.

“Very good.”

With a ruffle of Ethan’s hair, Crawford stepped back, heading for the stairs. “I’ll bring down some food in an hour or so. Make sure Johnny knows the rules. He doesn’t need to get beaten twice.”

Ethan’s glare didn’t quite have the fire he was used to as he watched Crawford disappear behind the door.

The padlock clicked into place.

Footsteps creaked through the house, disappearing up to the second floor and falling silent again.

Ethan’s gaze shifted to Johnny, softening as all of him slumped against the ropes again. 

The boy was crying. Sobbing into his arm in the corner of the basement, covered in shadows and dust.

Ethan swallowed thickly. He had to say something, right. ‘Hi’ seemed like a good option. He chose that, yet all that came out was a small, barely audible, “..I’m so sorry...-”

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(tags: @prisonerwhump, @whumpawink, @mabledonut, @heathenwhump, @paleassprince, @happy-little-sadist @wormwriting @distinctlywhumpthing @whump-cafe@jo-doe-seeking-inspo @azayta @wibbly-wobbly-whump @batfacedliar-yetagain @there-will-always-be-blood @siren-of-agony @whumpworld @bandages-andobsessions @deltaxxk @whumpasaurus101 @michaeltalks @pickywhumpreader @whumpberry-cookie @morning-star-whump @shelfsdesires @throwawaywhumper @the-mourning-stars @d-cs @pigeonwhumps @hold-back-on-the-comfort @suspicious-whumping-egg)

As always, lmk if you want to be added to the tag list!

#beating #broken bone mention #kidnapping #stress position #forced to watch #whipping boy #deferred punishment #Crawford being a bitch #whumping the whumpers #ethan #johnny #crawford #sadness #i love johnnyyyyyyyyy

[thewitchqueenofharrenhal]

Oberyn, an unmarried man's, sexual escapades and fathering of bastards is seen as Cool and Progressive, but a pre-Robert's Rebellion Robert having sex and fathering just one bastard is Very, Very Bad and a Totally Valid reason to not want to marry him.

The next time someone complains about Robert's whoring when he was a UNMARRIED teenager I'm going to tell them to stop being a Regressive TradCath Conservative and stop shaming characters for expressing their #SexualAgency because that's all that matters apparently.

Well first of all that side only loves Oberyn when they can use him to point out how “sexually liberal” Dorne is and therefore Elia was desperately trying to have a threesome with Lyanna or something 🙃 but they generally hate him for being far more loved than Rhaegar just about every other day.

Dude this is my face when I see people go on Pre RR anti Robert rants!!!

Because it’s always why would Lyanna ever marry that PIECE OF SHIT WHO FUCKED TEENAGERS WHEN HE WAS AN ADULT AND HAD CHILDREN OUT OF WEDLOCK 😡😡😡😡

As opposed to … Rhaegar who also fucked a teenager when he was an adult man? and was married with two children?¿? Like beloved those two are twins 😭 they’re having a midoff if you would 🤣 Yeah well ROBERT DISRESPECTED HIS WIFE 😡😡😡 As opposed to…Rhaegar who also disrespected his wife? 🙃 let’s review the timeline of Elia of Dorne’s pregnancies why don’t we?

It’s just wild how people can’t accept their favs for what they are.

#anon

[martellspear]

This a rant in its purest form.

It is just so convenient and dishonest to erase Rhaegar’s fault to what happened to Elia. And, as I will assume that Lyanna went willingly here, hers too. You can ship whatever you want, as gross as it is, that’s your problem, but it is ridiculous to turn your face away from what these two caused.

Tywin gave the order, but what caused the circumstances for that to be possible? I understand that if you’re a RL enjoyer you probably crafted your own version of the facts, but everything leads to Rhaegar’s obsession with the prophecy. He thought he would be the savior, then his children. Then, he didn’t want to push another pregnancy on Elia, meaning, from the context, he didn’t want her to die. He didn’t hate her as some make it seem, and if he did, that would be the last person I’d personally pair up with a character I say I like. If you hate one of the sweetest people to ever set foot on that hellhole that is Westeros, maybe the problem is you idk.

Tywin is to blame, of course, so is the Mountain. However, to say Rhaegar had nothing to do with it? PLEASE.

He is guilty not only for his family’s death but for Rickard and Brandon’s too. There were at least ten other routes they could’ve taken with this, love or not, but when their stans make up excuses for them, it just makes them seem beyond stupid. What do you mean they had no idea of what doing what they did would cause?

Also, while I am at it, wtf do you mean it’s wrong to call out prejudice against the dornish in Westeros? More than that, how can you say that when we have evidence and more evidence of how much these characters suffer in the hands of the court in spite of how high their station is? At least be honest. Like what you like but have the decency to recognize what is wrong with it.

The thing is, the second Elia, Rhaenys, Aegon, Rickard and Brandon’s deaths are acknowledged as a direct consequence and not casualties of war than it stops being a romantic love story and it becomes the story of two selfish people drowning in their own hypocrisy. “I want to save the realm” x dooming it and his family, bringing war and despair; and “I can’t be with someone who does not respect me as a wife” x running away with a married man and father of two. If those deaths are recognized, their perfect characters are no longer perfect nor victims of the circumstances inflicted upon them; they’re the catalyst of disaster instead.

Also, it will never fail to make me laugh that some believe a second marriage would happen and Rhaegar would still get to be king. The Faith is not allowing it, much less would the Martell simply accept this. But imagine a scenario where Elia and her babies still die, so do Lyanna’s father and brother.

How do you go on with a relationship like that knowing that it was you and your partner that caused all of this to happen? Benjen and Ned? What do they think of their sister, who appears to simply not care about what happened to their family? Rhaegar has only Viserys and Dany now, what does he tell them? Dragonstone will be forever haunted by the memory of Elia and Rhaenys to him; imagine him walking around the Red Keep and accidentally finding one of Aegon’s toys? And now all he has is a baby that’s not what he expected, there is no silver haired Visenya.

How long until another war breaks? The Baratheons are insulted, the Martells are insulted, the king is the Mad King’s son and was reckless enough to start a war, he can’t be trusted, and the Targaryens don’t have dragons anymore.

Anyway, I just wanted to get it off my system, I am not even sure this is coherent because my thoughts just kept popping up as I wrote.

#anti rhaegar x lyanna #anti rhaelya

[atopvisenyashill]

if lyanna had been considered of age by the time she ran away with/ got kidnapped by rhaegar wouldn't she have been married to robert already??? this logic is so flawed she was 14!!!!! when she met rhaegar even if she had a crush and "consented" to run away with him, he a married 21yo should've known better!!!! like who gives a shit that it's fiction, this is supposed to make us reflect upon the real world we live in, how is that so complicated to understand.

sorry for ranting in ur inbox but I've seen too many people defend this recently

ya exactly, rhaegar should understand that going after an engaged young girl in such a way would at the least make him look real sus to everyone, especially when he knows everyone is nervous because his dad has been losing his mind. he calls the tourney to help him take power from his father and then makes such a colossal, obvious mistake and doesn't bother fixing it in the slightest.

and like, i'm not even saying there isn't a romantic element to it - you cannot deny there's a romantic element to daenerys/drogo, for example, or to sansa's various inappropriate relationships with creepy old guys, or to daemon/rhaenyra, etc etc, but that doesn't stop those dynamics from also being deeply dubious consent wise, and full of uneven dynamics. for all this series gets its lashings for having so many underaged/too fucking old relationships, rarely ever are these relationships portrayed as completely healthy and functional; they are usually the product of a man abusing his power and a "child woman" who is not mature enough to understand what it is she's agreeing to. like ship whatever the hell you want, i am someone who is deeply invested in elia/rhaegar lmaoooo but it's silly to be like "there's nothing weird about this age gap" when it is considered a weird relationship in the canon itself because lyanna is engaged, rhaegar is married with kids, and everyone is antsy about targaryens running rough shod over deeply held cultural norms.

#anti rhaegar x lyanna #like my argument isn't even against rhaegar/lyanna. it's against the idea that a 23/15 year old isn't a bad age gap #like. give me a fucking break lmao she's not an adult in our or westeros' world. if a 23 year old starts dating a 17 year old. people still #think that's skeevy it doesn't matter that the 17 year old is ~almost an adult~ #asks

[lemonhemlock]

Hi, sorry for this, but I just need to rant about this, or I'll explode. Feel free to delete this 🩷

I saw somewhere it was written that Elia Martell deserved her fate while Lyanna and Rhaegar were just in love and deserved to be happy...

THIS PISSED ME OF SO BADLY LIKE WHAT THE HELL !!!

Lyanna was 16 and even if we overlooked the part where she’s a westerosi woman at that age you know it's wrong to run away from your home to be with a married dude who's got two kids !

As for Rhaegar, I believe he was as mad as his father. leave your kind, beautiful wife and two kids for a 16 year old girl who's about to get married herself !? Yeah, there's definitely something wrong with your brain !

Also, that person painted Lyanna in such an innocent light like I do not believe she was that dumb she knew Robert would be furious, plus her father and brother's did this girl ever consider them ? The answer is no. Lyanna didn't want to marry Robert, and when Rhaegar showed interest, she decided to run away with his stupid ass !

The biggest victim of Rhaegar/Lyanna actions is ELIA MARTELL AND HER CHILDREN !!!

I can agree with Rhaegar being the most responsible for all the shit that happened, but at the same time, I don't believe Lyanna was just a little girl who fell in love with him.

And Yes, Lyanna is considered a child in our timeline, but in her universe and timeline, she was definitely not a child who didn't know how things worked given that she was also a noble woman and educated as well !

hello kitty 🐱🐱🐱

yeah, some rhagar/lyanna stans would do anything to justify rhaegar's actions because they have it in their minds that he was this fairytale prince charming. and, to be fair to them, that's how he is mostly presented in the text, heaped in praise and regret (apart from robert obviously but many fans disregard robert's appraisal because they see him as biased)

i don't hold it against people if they have a particularly idealised view of rhaegar, because you never know how much they've actually studied the text or thought about this issue in the first place. but if one does engage with the fandom on a general basis and reads meta/takes, it's very difficult not to eventually interact with critical analyses of rhaegar. so, even if his story didn't ring any alarm bells from the start, for whatever reason, if you do start thinking about the practicalities, the shadier elements emerge.

leaving all of that aside, if someone were to try and justify rhaegar's actions, then blaming his brutally-murdered wife is not the kind of stance that will win over the fence-sitters 🧍‍♀️ even if elia were an awful person who made rhaegar's life miserable (though there is no proof of this, on the contrary), then she still wouldn't "deserve" a violent murder and to witness her children being murdered in front of her. you'd think a reasonable person would agree with that, but this is the kind of fandom in which fans tell others to kys because they disagree with their opinion on fictional people, so for them it's only natural that being annoying (or any other some such dumb infraction) is such a huge and problematic crime that can only be sanctioned by death.

so it's like. i feel there are some huge behavioural issues at play here or at least an unhealthy amount of internalised misogyny or bully fantasies that are the real culprits here :))

i've outlined my general opinion of lyanna here for whomever is interested

#ask #littleobsessedkitty #anti rhaegar targaryen #anti lyanna stark #for filtering purposes

[gyubby99]

@disneyanddisneyships this sounded funnier in my head

Ella never wondered why, but she'd just started thinking of Elias the moment she ate Eli's cookies. It sure did taste sweet, but something in it just makes her want to burst out and yell about how much she adores him. And she hasn't even known him for a week! Not to mention, she was with Alistar, in line for the throne.

Well, it all started here.

~~~~~

A knock was heard from the group's room, consisting of Elias, Loreley, Alruna and Eve. Ella had been wanting to check on the 'villain kids', or that's what people would like to call the people who lived back on that camp. It was her first proclamation as upcoming queen of Morellia, to give them a chance of a normal life.

The door was opened, by none other than Loreley.

"How are you guys? Doing all okay? Do you have any trouble with anything? I mean, if you do, you could always ask me." Ella asked.

Loreley shook her head with a smile. "Nope! We're good! How about you?"

Ella smiled. "Fine. Just preparing for the coronation in like, two- no. Maybe, three days."

Loreley nodded. The coronation. That's what everyone's been talking about.

An idea sparked up inside her fiery little head. Someone had mentioned earlier that the Fairy Godmother's wand would be used for the coronation, probably just to make it official.

"Oh!" Loreley spoke. "You ever think we could.. sit at the front row for the coronation just so we could, you know... soak up all that goodness?"

Ella laughed, sure she would like to, but..

"I'd love to, but.. it's just me, my family, and my boyfriend." Ella replied, hesitant about the boyfriend bit.

"And your boyfriend?" Loreley repeated. Ella nodded, confirming it.

"Oh... okay! Thanks a lot for checking on us! Byeee!" Loreley bid as she closed the door, a sly grin on her face.

She turned around to look at her friends, who were all staring at her, giving a 'what now?' look.

"I think miss Dove needs a new boyfriend." Loreley smirked, looking directly at Elias, and then back to Alruna.

"I need a love spell." Loreley stated, before Alruna tossed the spell book to her friend. Loreley caught it, giggling excitedly.

"And Elias, you're coming with me." Loreley ordered, and though a bit hesitant, he obliged.

~~~~~

"Alistar, okay- you need to hear me ou-" Ella tried assuring her boyfriend, but she was cut off.

"First it was Jerry's hair, now everyone wants her to do theirs! What if they all get so fascinated by that girl's dark magic that they're forgetting who her parents are. Her dad's HADES, for crying out loud!" Alistar was practically ranting.

"Alis-" Ella was cut off again.

"Nevermind. I'll see you after the game, okay?" Alistar stated before kissing his girlfriend's cheek. "Bye, Dove!" And so he went along his way for the turney practice.

Ella shook her head, and slamming her locker close and SUDDENLY--

"Eli!" Ella exclaimed, her hands clasped as she greeted her acquaintance. Elias smiled at her, scratching the back of his head.

"Hey, Ella.. I uh.." He started nervously.

Ella thought it was pretty cute.

"Hi! How's class?" Elias tried to make small talk, and Loreley face-palmed from the corner.

"Uh, good?" Ella replied just as akwardly.

"Oh. Okay." Elias replied. He looked at the corner and saw Loreley, and she gestured at the cookie he was holding.

"Oh! Right!" Elias exclaimed, and frantically held the cookies. "Um, I got you something. Just for.. you know.. something to nibble on? Anyway.." he held up the cookies to Ella.

Ella blushed beet red, and she laughed nervously. "Ah, I'd love to but I can't eat anything sweet today."

Elias nodded, feigning disappointment. "No, I totally get it. Never take cookies from kids back at the camp! They're homeless and broke and dirty. I get it, Ella."

Guilt overcame Ella. She obviously did not mean it like that.

"Oh no! It's not that! I just-"

"No, I-I get it. It's fine, really." Elias pulled out one cookie. "I'll just eat this all by mys-"

Ella snatched the cookie and took a bite. Loreley did a triumph fist in the air.

Well played, Eli! She thought. Now they just have to wait until the spell starts working.

Ella kept on munching. "Mmh! It's not all that bad! The sugar's just the right amount and it's pretty..."

Suddenly, her world stopped, and seemed to have revolved around Elias. He had such beautiful eyes, and his akwardness was adorable. Those lips.. she felt like she could kiss-

"Pretty.. w-warm.." Ella stuttered.

Alruna came up to her shoulder. "How you feeling, sis?"

Heat rose up Ella's cheeks. "I.. I feel.. like.." a smile made its way into her face. "Like I can just scream your name!"

"ELI---" Ella was about to, but Alruna had covered her mouth.

Geez. How strong was that spell? Loreley thought to herself.

~~~~~

The game had just finished, and Alistar's team won, mainly because Elias had carried them the whole game. And instead of everyone gushing over Alistar's blonde hair, and rather charming features, they were all over Elias.

And it was making his blood boil. Camp kids are dangerous! They're supposed to stay back where they belong!

Alistar's attention drifted to somewhere else when Ella came up on stage.

"Hello, everyone!" Ella greeted, and the crowd cheered. "I have something to tell you guys.."

Elias and his team looked up. Everything was silent, paying attention of what was at the front.

"GIVE ME AN E!" Ella suddenly yelled. The cheerleaders did as they were told.

"GIVE ME AN L!!" Ella yelled from the mic again, and the cheerleaders obliged.

"GIVE ME AN I!!" Ella yelled once again, and the crowd obliged.

Alistar's brows furrowed.

"What did that spell?" Ella asks the crowd.

"ELI!!!" The crowd yelled.

"I love you, Eli!" Ella looked at Elias at the field, with a loving gaze and crimson red cheeks.

Alistar clenched his fists and walked away from the crowd.

The crowd went histeric.

"Give me a beat!" Ella ordered to one of the band guys, in which they did as they were told.

Did I mention that I'm in love with you?

And did I mention there's nothing I can do

And did I happen to say?

I dream of you everyday

But let me shout it out loud, if that's okay ay ay

If that's okay (Hey!)

I met this guy that rocked my world like it's never been rocked

And now I'm living just for him and I won't never stop

I never thought that it could happen to a girl like me

But now look at what you've done, you got me down on my knees

Because my love for you is ridiculous

I never knew

(Who knew?)

That it could be like this

My love for you is ridiculous

My love is R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S!

(R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S!)

It's (Ridiculous!)

Just (Ridiculous!)

And I would give my kingdom for just one kiss

"What did you put in that cookie?" Eve asked, a bit overwhelmed by what was happening.

Well did I mention that I'm in love with you

And did I mention there's nothing I can do

And did I happen to say?

I dream of you everyday

But let me shout it out loud, if that's okay ay ay

(Yeah!) If that's okay

I gotta know which way to go, c'mon gimme a sign

You gotta show me that you're only ever gonna be mine

Don't want to go another minute livin' without you

Cause if your heart just isn't in it, I don't know what I'd do

Because my love for you is ridiculous

I never knew

(Who knew?)

That it could be like this

My love for you is ridiculous

My love is R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S!

(R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S!)

It's (Ridiculous!)

Just (Ridiculous!)

And I would give my kingdom for just one kiss, c'mon now!

Alright! (Hey!)

Alright! (Hey!)

Because my love for you is ridiculous

I never knew

(Who knew?)

That it could be like this

My love for you is ridiculous

My love is R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S!

(R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S!)

It's (Ridiculous!)

Just (Ridiculous!)

And I would give my kingdom for just one kiss, c'mon now!

The crowd clapped, and Ella ran to Elias in speed record.

"I would like for you to go to the coronation with me!" Ella stated, before cupping his face and leaning to rest her head on his chest.

Loreley smirked. Everything goes according to plan.

#the prophecy of immortal fire #tpoif descendants au #Spotify

[foxy-alien]

I love your Elias design so much, he just looks like a politician. Boring Bastard Bureaucrat. I want to punch him.

Thank you!!! I honestly forgot i drew him lolllll. He is such a well written character if you assume he looks like a boring bureaucrat so im glad i hit that!!!

#And im glad you want to punch him #hes the worst #CJ fucking hates him so much its so funny #you ever want to rant with someone about elias? #message overalldyke theyre literally so funny

[dathen]

I know the show probably meant Annabelle’s assessment of Martin being manipulative to be taken at face value, but I have Very Strong Feelings about that kind of interpretation so am still clinging to my own.

Annabelle:  You always managed to get what you wanted through shrugs and stammerings that weren’t nearly as awkward as they seemed.

But when did Martin “always get what he wanted”?  Did he get the love of his mother, who never wanted to see his face even as she was dying?  Did he get the respect of Jon (or any of the assistants, for that matter) in season 1 by playing up an awkward, stammering persona?  Did he want Basira to write him off as “just uselessly standing around making tea”?  

It’s kind of like Melanie’s “everyone keeps telling me I need to sympathize with Jon!!” rant--who is telling you that?  Where are the examples?

What Martin did get was simply....not being noticed.  A survival tactic.  A very common survival tactic of chronic abuse victims like Martin.  His s1-4 writing is some of my favorite of any character I’ve ever come across because of how precisely it mirrors someone who’s been raised in an abusive household and knows to avoid notice and keep his head down.  

It’s a survival tactic that helped him with his mother, with Elias, and with Peter, but that worked against him in his interpersonal relationships.  Jon started to notice Martin when Martin asserted himself and stopped taking Jon’s bullshit.  People mainly took Martin seriously during his “go off” moments (for example, Tim following him into the tunnels).  Every example we have of Martin actually getting something he wants with the people he actually likes involves him being blunt and direct.   As the show continues and his character develops, he begins to assert himself more with those he cares about as a natural result of his growth.

But know what else is common for survivors of chronic abuse like Martin?  The fear that your survival tactics make you manipulative, underhanded, and deceitful.  This is an established psychological effect.  You might grow up in a household where you don’t have the freedom to simply ask for something you need without being yelled at for being selfish, entitled, demanding.  You come up with ways to hint at it, make the other person think it’s their idea to offer it.  Then you head out into the world and interact with people who had the freedom to just say what they think, and realize they see you as passive-aggressive and sneaky.  “Why don’t you just say what you think?  Why don’t you just say what you need?”  Because you’ve never had that luxury before, and it’s terrifying to try.

I choose to believe that it’s Martin’s fear of being manipulative towards people he cares about makes him appealing to the Web.  We saw a glimpse of this fear in TMA 170, when confessing that he lied on his CV: “I mean I tried to be a good person, but we’re really up against it.”  He feels like having to lie to survive makes him a bad person.  

I would have loved if Annabelle had just flat-out said it was that fear that made Martin appealing, because the actual dialogue was frankly triggering, but why would she soothe a fear she finds so tasty?  And of course Martin agrees, because it’s his fear in the first place.  And then of course Elias had pulled the hackneyed old “you tricking me makes you the same as me” villain argument.

Unfortunately I feel it’s a bit too late for the show to contradict Annabelle on this, as much as I want it to.  Maybe it was meant as a nod to the Web Martin theory without actually taking that direction, without considering the implications or build-up.  Maybe it just has faith that we’ll read the three of them as unreliable narrators, not knowing how much of a long-running trope this is.  I’m not holding my breath, but they can pry this interpretation from my cold dead hands.

#tma #the magnus archives #martin blackwood #tma spoilers #tma meta #abuse mention #I no longer write real meta it's all 'I know I'm wrong but I'm saying it anyway' from here on out

[ajkal2]

the essay: childhood trauma, responsibility, and tma. part 1: jon

in a tma fic i published like six months ago, i left an authors note that promised an essay on jon and tim’s trauma to anyone who asked. several people asked, and so here i am!

the fic is called a deeply annoying child. it’s about being a kid and seeing something horrible, and it’s about jon and tim’s rocky relationship. 

this post isn’t actually about the fic. it’s a breakdown of jon’s mental state through s1-3. im going to make another post about tim, and then a final one linking it all back to the fic. i’ll chuck links to those on here when they’re posted!

but first, let’s talk about my boy, JON ‘JARCHIVIST’ SIMS.  

(fair warning- this isn’t a fully backed up meta post, it’s my interpretation of canon. any thoughts/queries/additions welcome! my askbox is always open <3) 

part o: a note on guilt

hey, you know what’s fucked up? an eight-year-old kid with survivors guilt. 

as a child, jon watched someone he knew die, due to circumstances that, while they were not his fault, were set in motion by his actions. children (and often teens!) think in black-and-white. complex logic often just doesn’t occur to them.  jon, at 8, looks at what happened, and says that’s my fault. i did that. jon didn’t like his bully, and wanted him to go away, and then he did. that instinctive reaction is something i think he never grows out of. when you already hate yourself, it’s easy to pile more fuel onto that flame.  he doesn’t think about risk, not to him, because he deserves whatever happens. he let someone die. he doesn’t ever forgive himself for that.

part i: belief (precanon+s1)

now, i have a headcanon about why jon doesn’t believe statement givers, and imma lay it all out for you right here. 

when jon was 8, and freshly traumatised, i think he tried to tell someone what happened. beneath all the layers, jon is compassionate, and tries to help people. now, picture this. a kid, one with a history of troubled behaviour and an atypical home life, goes up to someone (a police officer, his carer, a teacher) and tells them a giant spider ate someone. what’s that person, someone who is a rational adult, someone who doesn’t believe in silly things, going to say back? are they going to believe that kid? 

no. no way. they’re going to tell that kid that they’re making up stories, that they had a nightmare, that they should stop making jokes about someone who actually disappeared, jon, you need to be more sensitive about these things. 

now, that kind of dissonance- ‘this did happen, it was real’ and ‘everyone i talk to is telling me it’s not real’- is hard on adults. to a kid? devastating. 

jon, because he’s jon, would have been desperately searching for a way to explain this, and i think the thing he grabs on to is evidence. if he had some evidence of what happened, if he could prove what happened, people would believe him.*

but he doesn’t have evidence. and he resents that, and he resents that so much that by the time he’s an adult he’s settled into a mindset towards the supernatural somewhat akin to ‘i didn’t get believed, but you think you should be believed? what’s so good about you? you think you’re better than me?** fuck you! i don’t believe you!’   this is also a way of keeping himself safe. if the monsters aren’t real, they can’t hurt him.

and then, through s1, that mindset is chipped at. the statement givers start being real people, who come into jon’s office and cry when he dismisses them, and that clearly makes him uncomfortable. martin gives his statement, and martin has evidence. jon knows martin, and knows that he’s a good person, so martin having evidence isn’t likely to be an attack at jon. 

jane prentiss attacks the institute, and then suddenly jon’s shield of denial and anger is ripped away, because the monsters are real, and they can hurt him. 

*would they? i don’t know. people can be very attached to believing that the world is good, and kids are misguided, and there are a hundred thousand ways to explain away a piece of evidence, as jon comes to know well. 

** this ties into jon’s self hatred, as people saying they are better than him kicks him right in the Issues. 

part ii: paranoia (s2)

after prentiss attacks, jon is left floundering. his old I Do Not See It mindset has been smashed to pieces, and underneath all the trauma he’s been brutally suppressing is bubbling up. jon has no real experience in judging threats, because for the last 20 years he’s been burying his head in the sand and yelling he can’t see any threats. so he overcompensates, and assumes everything is a threat. his experience re:not being believed tells him that everyone around him is stupid and wrong and the only person he can rely on is himself.  

so he investigates. he’s convinced that his life is in imminent danger, that everyone around him is plotting to kill him. he doesn’t hold back, because you don’t hold back in a life-or-death scenario.  he knows something is wrong. something is very wrong. he’s sure it’s a threat to him, a threat to his life. but he can’t put a finger on what it is.

this is when his friendship with tim breaks down. i’ll talk about tim in a minute. 

jon spirals, and obsesses, and wrings answers out of the ether until it all falls together. he understands what is wrong, that it’s sasha that wants him dead. or, well, not sasha. he’s been winding up tighter and tighter all series, and he lets loose by striking out, acting for once instead of reacting. it is remarkably easy to buy an axe in central london, after all.

and then, well, that doesn’t go well. 

 part iii: desperation (s3)

after what jon did backfired so badly, he goes to georgie, because he has no other option. and he thinks, what went wrong? and the answer he comes up with is i didn’t know enough.* that’s why it all went wrong, because he didn’t know what he was dealing with. and so the solution is to find out more.

he’s starting to realise that he’s changing.** he wants to find out more about that as well, to control it. 

so he goes and finds out more. or, tries to. he doesn’t have many leads.*** jon is not good at judging threat, and doesn’t know the danger he is putting himself in. he’s stubborn, and locked onto getting more knowledge like a dog and a bone.****

and then he does get more knowledge, but it’s the knowledge that the world is ending, and he’s the only one who can fix it.***** he can’t process his trauma. he doesn’t have time. the world is ending. 

in late s3, jon is desperate. he’s overworking himself. he feels alone: daisy’s at his throat, elias is dangling information over his head, tim... 

we’ll talk about tim later. 

basira doesn’t trust him, georgie isn’t happy with him, melanie’s never liked him. he gets kidnapped for a month, and no one notices. the only person jon has firmly in his corner is martin.****** and he doesn’t have time to talk to martin, because he’s getting kidnapped, and jetting across the world chasing shadows, and desperately, desperately trying not to fuck everything up again. 

and he doesn’t! they build a plan. it’s dangerous, sure, but jon doesn’t even know what that means anymore. his whole life is dangerous. jon going into the unknowing is cautiously, waveringly hopeful. maybe this time it won’t go wrong. this time they know what to do, they know what they’re dealing with. 

and, the tragedy is, it doesn’t go wrong. they save the world. they send elias to prison. it all goes to plan. and tim is dead, and daisy is buried, and jon is lost in dreams. 

*👁️ **👁️ ***👁️ ****👁️  ***** he’s not the only one, of course, there are a whole team of people working on stopping the Unknowing, but jon is the Archivist. he’s the heir to gertrude’s legacy. 

****** this is where they fall in love, after all. which is a good thing, of course, but it adds an extra weight to every interaction they have, guessing and double-guessing how the other feels, until jon actually can’t talk to martin, not how he wants to, because he’s not sure if they’re there yet. (martin is there. jon doesn’t have time to be.) 

see yall next time 

i would like to cover s4 and s5, but this post is 1.5k already, and i’ve covered up to when the fic takes place! next time i will be ranting incoherently about timothy stoker, punctuated by bursts on uncontrollable sobbing. when that’s up, i’ll chuck a link here, and on the author notes of the fic i’m doing this for. see you then!

#tma #tma meta #jonathan sims #jon sims meta #character analysis #a deeply annoying child #the essay tag #god this is a mess but w/e posting it anyway

[rose-lord-of-simps]

Okay if you like Klaus Goldstein I suggest just scrolling past this but if you want to listen to a rant of why I don’t like him and why I don’t think he should be as popular as he is, you can read under the cut. Keep in mind, I understand and see why he is so popular, that doesn’t mean I think he should be.

Also Klaus’ route spoilers ahead.

@eye-cri I made it.

Klaus Goldstein is a manipulative ass hole.

He is the first route I’ve played, I’m almost done with it, and I can see why people love him but that makes me scared for the other characters. If KLAUS is your favorite, then how bad is everybody else?

I’ve been told the reason he is so popular is because he is chivalrous and one of the few people who doesn’t try to just say no to being our buddy.

But bro, I wouldn’t want to be the MC’s buddy either. I’d be polite about it unlike these guys, but look at what a buddy is. When your grades improve, theirs don’t. But when your grades lower, so do their’s. Having a buddy isn’t a benefit, there is more to risk losing than there is to gain and theoretically if they do bad enough, then your entire academic grade will suffer for something out of your control. It’s like when a teacher marks something correct, as wrong but refuses to make it correct even when you prove you’re right. So really it’s not about not wanting MC to be their buddy, they don’t want anybody to be their buddy! And a new student, who no one knows how they got in, just randomly tramples up to the school all optimistic and wanting to learn only to criticize herself about her own magical abilities instead of saying “I know I’m not the best but that’s why I’m here, to learn.” A human who is from some random little town who knows where, is suddenly your buddy. Yeah you’re gonna probably freak out a bit if your grades are important to you! This is also someone who you don’t know well and have to get to know, that’s the whole point of character development.

For Klaus, he is the prefect, he is supposed to set an example, it makes more sense for his character to be like “alright I have a buddy, time to tutor the fuck out of her.” He was also offered something he really wanted in exchange for making sure the MC got into the academy. So yeah he accepted us as a buddy- but he was bribed to do so. He did not want to, he was prepared to let us leave the school until the head master said “if you help her get into the school I’ll make you a teacher after you graduate.” The others can’t be bribed so easily because the head master has nothing to bribe them with. So the argument of “but he was one of the few who welcomed us as a buddy” is false. He tutored and encouraged us, because he was bribed to do so and this later turns into affection. Klaus also genuinely wants to be a teacher, he likes to see people succeed and grow, not just us. He puts so much effort into our training because it’s what he wants to do after he graduates, not because we are special to him originally.

Admittedly, he is a good teacher. He sees a student’s weak points and designs a training schedule that will help them improve these weak points, and then some. However, he is known to be rude in his “encouragement” and instead of giving us positive feedback or saying “this is what you are doing wrong and here is how we are going to fix it” he is just saying “you’re bad and unfocused now do this exercise and practice when you should be sleeping.” With this requires a student who is determined to get better no matter what. And the MC is okay with that, she wants to learn magic, however… she is guilt tripped the entire time. She guilt trips herself, always apologizing always feeling bad with no confidence even when she does something right.

Heck, I’m one of the later chapters she is worried sick about him because he is basically in the school’s prison and then SHE has to apologize for making HIM worry while she was trying to clear HIS name when HE WASN’T EVEN IN TROUBLE IN THE FIRST PLACE! “You made me terribly worried never do that again” “I’m sorry” I THOUGHT YOU COULD HAVE BEEN EXPELLED, YES I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU COULDN’T TELL ME-

But then this guy goes on to say that we are lovers and- when the fuck did he ever ask out the MC? Because apparently it was when he said “will you stay with me forever” during a scene where we were also discussing the MC’s training. Dude. That entire “confession” could very easily be interpreted as him worried as a friend or trying to confess BUT NOT ASKING US TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND! He didn’t even have the guts to say he cared about us until we listened to a message he left for us where it cut out during that part. Then after that he refers to us as “his girl” like buddy you never asked if I was okay with this or if this is what I wanted. He is never clear with you on what he wants. And he says that as prefect he has to hold himself back, but we were in the privacy of his office during the “confession” scene and he could of just told us “MC I have feelings for you in a romantic sense and I want you to stay by my side through thick and thin, will you do that?” THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN ASKING US OUT.

Not telling us you have feelings for us, makes it confusing.

Throughout the game Klaus repeatedly tells us to shut up or lets us apologize for things we shouldn’t apologize for, or makes us see a situation from his perspective- without him seeing it from our’s. I expressed in a previous post that something he said about us “not being much of a woman” then glancing to our chest upset me. Because it’s bullshit. He then says that it doesn’t even matter to him and if it doesn’t, why bring it up in the first place? To make us feel even worse about ourselves? I’m almost done with Klaus’ route and the MC’s confidence has not improved. I’m not talking about her confidence in her magic, I mean her confidence that she can be a great wizard one day, the confidence in herself that will allow her to grow. The MC is treated as if she is stupid by Klaus and that continues the entire time. He views her as a stupid bunny head in the beginning of the route then proceeds to see her as someone who could be amazing at magic and just needs to practice but he never says this. We find out when we find the training schedule he made for us near the beginning of the story. “Actions speak louder than words” yes louder but not clearer. His actions of supporting us from the beginning is loud but he never says what he feels. He never tells us he cares and expects us to know through inference. Emotions are complicated and messy, being left to assume and infer is dangerous and results in misunderstanding.

After we confront him about who exactly miss Elaine is, he blames MC for the entire misunderstanding- when he was the reason for the misunderstand of feelings. He tries to pin that one on us as well as if we could just go up to him and ask when he could of just told us “I have romantic feelings for you and would like to be romantically involved with you but it has to wait a while because this is my situation.”

Klaus tries to seem like he can do nothing wrong but he still needs to grow and mature more so he can see that just actions isn’t enough to express to people properly how you feel. Elias is his brother who has grown up with him, he understands how Klaus talks, nobody else does.

I don’t like Klaus because he is manipulative, practically verbally assaults us, says our body doesn’t matter when it obviously does then has the audacity to say that he has been holding himself back because he is prefect when normally he’d like much more than a kiss. All while assuming the MC is his girlfriend.

In one of the later scenes we see him saying “he isn’t my friend and never has been!” In reference to Randy. These two were arguing and talking as if they were close but Klaus insisted they were not when Randy tried to say otherwise. We see Randy leave the scene while the MC thinks “Randy… you’re trying to run away from his insults aren’t you?” Klaus tried to call out to stop him but Randy leaves and when MC asks if he is going to stop Randy, Klaus just says it’s fine and brushes it off.

He is portrayed as mr.perfect prefect, when he very much isn’t. No body is perfect, but the problem lies when he doesn’t admit he isn’t perfect. Klaus continues to pretend as if he is safe to do all of this just because it made the most logical sense, as if emotions weren’t hurt. He acts as if he is perfectly justified and a master of emotions as well. He doesn’t have any character development.

In Klaus’ route there is no character development for either of them.

The MC continues to be kind of shy and quiet and in her one moment of bravery she is made to feel guilty for it instead of being praised and the writing just allows her to understand.

Klaus developed feelings for the MC but continues to treat her like shit.

I don’t like Klaus and I don’t think he should as popular as he is, because he is the stereotype that is made out to middle school girls as “he is cold hearted and treats you like crap but he secretly loves you and just doesn’t want to say it.” That is not healthy and not okay. If you want to be someone’s partner you have to learn how to communicate your feelings to them and admittedly, we only have two weeks there before we may or may not leave, and that’s not a lot of time for character development to happen however, it doesn’t look like it ever will. Not until the MC stands up and says “this is not okay and here is why” to the point Klaus has no logical defense for his behavior. But how likely is this to happen when the MC just repeatedly understands his side of the story, without ever saying their own.

Klaus and MC are not good for each other and the relationship is toxic as fuck.

If I were in that universe, I’d like to be Klaus’ friend but I’d never want to date him because of all of this and then some.

Klaus has good intentions and dreams, but his actions speak loud and confusing and he refuses to explain himself, expecting everyone to just get it. And nobody is telling him that nobody is going to be like Elias but Elias. If they don’t get it then they must be stupid. Klaus doesn’t need other people’s approval which is great but that doesn’t mean he is justified in being an ass to everyone.

Klaus should not be a fan favorite. I’m terrified for how the other characters act if this is how Klaus is and HE is praised as being one of the nicest.

I don’t want a rebuddle or argument in the comments and if you try, I don’t care. I gave you a warning at the beginning to just scroll past if you like Klaus so you chose to read this. If he is your favorite and you’re offended, sorry not sorry. This is my opinion and interpretation of the prefect and I don’t like and think he is over rated. Make a post about why he is great but don’t tag me in because I will ignore it. We have different opinions and that’s okay, get over it.

#klaus goldstein #wizardess heart #shall we date wizardess

[sasa-gay-yo]

Just Us (Chapter Three: Normal)

← Chapter Two

“A false sense of calm. Of hope. That’s all that it was.” 

Everything had been published in the papers rooting for the Scouts and people in the streets were also in high spirits when they heard they were coming back from a monthly expedition. People had lined up in front of the café and this time I decided to join them and not wait for the newspapers. I could see if Levi made it out alive by just stepping outside of my door. 

Jonas had given me the box he was standing on, yet I still had to go on my tiptoes to just get a look over everyone else’s heads. I had asked Jonas how people knew the Scouts would come back and he said they would just take the whole day to stand and wait. It was almost beautiful to see the number of people here to support them and it made me feel warm inside. I never forgot the look Levi gave me when I told them the Scouts gave me hope, but I hoped that this display from the people of Trost could convince him.

“They’re here!” There were soft cheers as the horses neared in everyone’s vision. This was the first time I got to see Erwin in person and the portraits of him gave his eyebrows no justice. Even from far away you could see his herculean presence. People cheered more and more and I searched around for him on as they came closer and closer. 

Then the cheering stopped. The first of the line to see what was behind Erwin shut completely up and I was straining so hard to see why. Erwin’s expression was unreadable.

“Elias, get on my shoulders.” I grabbed the little boy from Jonas and hoisted him up as a lookout, “Can you see why they stopped cheering?” 

The smile on the boy’s face dropped.

“Elias?” Before he could say anything, the crowd started for him. 

“I thought for once we had a chance! Now, look!”

“My tax dollars down the drain again.”

“Ugh, useless.” I felt Elias’s grip on my hand tighten as he heard the remarks. He was little and probably couldn’t understand the criticism of the people he wanted to be when he grew up. Even I couldn’t understand until I finally saw what everyone was muttering about. Scout after Scout limped by.

They had halved easily. They were filled with people who were bandaged, crippled, walking with no horse, or lying unconscious in a cart. This made me instantly seize up with worry. Where was Levi?

“Miss. Eva… Where did they all go?” His tiny voice was filled with so much sadness. I hadn’t been there to see them off like the rest, but I knew from the somber faces that it was bad. My eyes darted back and forth from the people in the carts to those on horseback. Shouldn’t Levi be near Erwin if they were both officers? That means he had to be walking somewhere. 

I handed Elias back to Jonas and pushed my way to the front. It was rather easy now that people were starting to turn around and go back home after the big disappointment of the Scouts. I didn’t care about the numbers now, I just wanted to see one soldier for who I had just bought more peppermint tea. 

When I reached the front, the sight was even more heartbreaking. I could see their eyes. I could see the sadness and fear. It was something I had only seen in the humans of the underground. Then remember why I had stopped coming to bid the Scouts a ‘Welcome home!’ It was too much for current and past me to see humans deal with. 

A hand went on my shoulder and I turned to see Jonas. His face was harsh and solemn. I knew what his judgment of the Scouts was. They all walked by and slowly a sense of dread filled me. There was no way… Humanity’s Strongest couldn’t have… 

“Where is he?” The line wasn’t long and there were little to no people left. The chance of him showing up in the next few seconds was slim, but I put my hands together squeezing. Hoping.

“Levi.” 

It was a mere, breathy whisper, but his head snapped over from on top of his horse. Once he met my eyes, he looked forward like he had before. Not sparing me another glance. He was at the very back of the line, probably to protect the weak from lingering titans. It was a sick joke of a formation, but my stress level instantly went down. He didn’t look hurt, there were no bandages on him, but his expression was darker than I had ever seen it. It was probably selfish for me to only care about him right now, but as they walked by and out of the gates of Trost, I just wanted him to turn around and come in for a cup of tea. I wanted to hear him explain to me what happened. I wanted him to not hear the townspeople who were hurling insults left and right, not caring if the Scouts heard them. 

Usually, we just get nasty looks.

No, Levi, my look wasn’t nasty. It was concerned, anxious, filled with stress; I wanted to give you some tea. 

“Come on. I’m sure people will want a pick me up after seeing that.” I looked at the ground, at the leftover wagon wheel tracks. I hope he didn’t think I was looking at him that way. 

“Miss. Flynn, I hope you have some coffee ready. Those of us who don’t drink will need it.” I looked over to see June and Elias’s father, a grim expression on his face too. Everyone’s emotions were putting me down too.

“Yes, sir. Right away.” 

He didn’t come in the rest of the day and the few days after that. I inquired with some people and learned that Scouts get a week off before they have to go back and the officers only a few days. Seeing some Scouts meet their parents again or come into the café made me doubtful of Levi’s return. Everyone was so dark and grim, and without Levi to come and break that, I started to sink into that emotion as well. So much so that a few people had commented on it. 

“A breakup with a boyfriend?” 

“Did you have a friend in the Scouts that died?” 

“You seem unlike yourself today, Eva.” 

It was those people who made my attitude worse. If only he would come in and let me talk to him, maybe I would feel better. The fact that he could be willingly not coming in was probably what made my thoughts worse. I even kept a kettle of hot water ready for when he came, but he never showed. 

“I know how much you revere the Scouts, Eva, but you can’t let that do this to you. A false sense of calm. Of hope. That’s all that it was.” I shook my head at Jonas as he wrapped my fingers with the balm treated bandages. I guess the atmosphere was making me physically deteriorate too. I was grinding coffee when the first part of my skin split. My right ring finger. I didn’t think anything of it, but as I worked and worked to suppress feelings, my hands started to suffer more and more. 

“It wasn’t false, Jonas. I still have hope in the Scouts. It was one expedition. It’s just the way everyone is acting is just putting me down too.” 

“We were all stupid to think that the titans had backed down, even for a little bit. I know it hurts, but it might be better to put your faith in other things… other people.” I pulled my hand away from him and stood up. What did he mean by that?

“My thinking is fine, Jonas. Don’t you have something to deliver.” That was his cue to stop talking and leave. It was nicer than I wanted to say to him, but I couldn’t be that rude to someone who comes back everyday. However, there were sometimes that I could yell at him or be short, but I didn’t care. Everyone deserved some hate for what they gave to the Scouts. That was my philosophy. 

I went about cleaning, making sure that every table was spotless, and taking extra care of his table. He was already stressed about death, if he came in, I didn’t want him to be stressed by dirt either. 

If he came in. 

The hours ticked by and I found myself still sitting in the dark café after closing. Today was the last day of the regular cadet’s break. Maybe they were nice to officers and gave them the same. That’s what I was telling myself. 

Finally, when the sun went down, I told myself it was time to go. I reluctantly grabbed the leftovers to put in a bag and put my coat on. Even if it was a short walk up some steps to get to my home, it was getting colder as the end of fall was approaching. The city’s atmosphere somehow made the cold more depressing. 

Turning to lock the front door, I heard some footsteps walking up to the café. 

“Sorry, I know it’s looked like we were open, but we’re closed for the day. You can come back tomorrow at six in the morn-”

“I didn’t come because I don’t want you to be burdened by me.” My eyes widened and I dropped the keys on the ground. Quickly, I composed myself and the beating of my heart.

“Burdened?” I picked the keys up and saw his figure standing on the side of the alleyway. He was in regular clothes, but it still didn’t hide his stature of a captain. Anyone walking by would know it was him.

“You said the Scouts gave you hope. Then, we come back and I see your expression. I couldn’t even look at you because I ruined that. I didn’t want to come here, just for you to look at me and feel hopeless and lost and all these negative emotions and-” 

“You talk a lot for someone who’s wrong.” That stopped his rant and admittedly that is the most he’s ever talked to me, but I needed it to end. He was digging himself into a bigger hole. 

“What?” It wasn’t harsh this time as all of his one-word phrases were. 

“Whatever look I had on my face, when you were all marching through Trost, it wasn’t me losing hope. It was me, worried about their wellbeing. It was me, hearing what people were around them saying, hoping that you didn’t hear them. I think the look on my face was from a place of concern or even pity.” He moved to lean against the brick, arms folded. 

“I didn’t want to come here because then I’d involve you in all… in all of the emotions and all the death. A civilian shouldn’t have to deal with a soldier. They should be kept ignorant so they can live happily.” 

“So what was it then? You didn’t want to ruin my hope or you didn’t want to ruin my innocence?” He took a deep breath in and I noticed some people looking our way. This was a great way to have rumors spread like wildfire. If I go back to the café, there were windows that couldn’t be closed. I’m sure Captain here wouldn’t want civilians to witness his “soldier emotions”.

“I don’t…” He glanced to the side as well, seeing the people who stopped walking.

“Follow me or at least try to get yourself onto the second-floor apartment if you’re worried about them.” I turned away from him and went up the stairs on the side of the building, opening my front door. To my surprise, he did just follow behind me. Another order I’ve gotten him to follow.

“Do you want tea, Captain? I only have green tea up here.” He just stood by the closed door and stared at me. It’s like he was scared about coming into my house. Was this the first time he’s ever come home with a woman? There’s some humor in this situation I guess. 

“No… I’m fine.” I put the bag of bread on the kitchen counter and pulled out the tea leaves. I’d make him one anyway. 

It was quiet again, but quiet like the first time we met. It was full of awkwardness and questions we wanted to ask. The air was too thick to swallow. To think, this is only the third time I’ve met him and he’s in my house. Maybe it’s just entertaining for him to see how civilians live. That’s why he followed.

“So, I’ll ask again. You didn’t come because you didn’t want to-” 

“I didn’t come because I was scared to face you.” I stopped stirring the honey into my tea. I even let go of the spoon to look up at him, still standing by the door. So he was scared of me. Captain Levi was scared of me? No, that couldn’t be. He just didn’t know how to define what he was feeling. 

“Scared?” He nodded and leaned against the door frame, pinching the bridge of his nose. It was like he was mad at himself for saying all of this. Maybe he was. Revealing those solider emotions again.

“When I came in on my horse, I saw your face and I saw the face of the boy next to you. I didn’t care about him, but yours… I thought that my failure on this expedition had broken the hope you had for the Scouts. If I came to your café, you would just treat me like everyone else does? Just like everyone treats the Scouts. I had found someone who understands the underground and who seems to understand the Scouts, and then that look on your face… it was like it was over.”  

“My look was concern. I told you that.”

“But in a town full of people looking up at you with anger and hatred in their eyes, how do you tell the difference?” I’d give him that. I was surrounded by people swearing and glaring up at him. I was just a bit hurt that he misread my emotions after I told him what I thought. He wasn’t scared, but he was bad at precepting people’s feelings. That could add to the rumor of him being emotionless. He wasn’t emotionless, he just didn’t have to ability to deal with the mass amount of emotions he gets.

You’ve only talked to him one and a half times, Eva. How are you talking like you know him?

“What made you come here then? You came when you knew I had closed. Was it to avoid everyone?”

“I was here earlier, I just didn’t have the courage to face you and everyone in that café. Especially that one boy you always have next to you.” That made me laugh out loud. Humanity’s Strongest was annoyed at Jonas and scared of me. What kind of power do I have over him? The tea he likes? Why was he so worried about Jonas? 

“That boy’s name is Jonas and he’s a delivery boy for Reeve’s Company. He’s around me a lot because he’s the delivery boy for that area of Trost and he likes to talk a lot. He also lives around here too.” 

“Your hand?” He reached out a slim finger to point at my bandages and I held my hand up. He had probably seen Jonas bandage it again today. 

“My skin splits from being so dry. I get it from work. I haven’t found a good balm to heal it though.” He closed his eyes.

“I come back from an expedition and you’re the one who’s hurt.” That hit something in my core. I looked up at him from the tea and his eyes were staring again. No look to the side and not from the peripheral. It was like when I was cleaning the tables. This feeling… with a Captain of the Scouts. That was dangerous for my sanity. I wondered if he felt the same.

I walked over and sat down on the couch that was facing him and set the tea down, one cup across from the other. 

“Again, to make sure you understand in that over-calculating brain of yours, Captain. My hope isn’t broken. There will be bad expeditions and there will be good ones, but to me, having bad ones will always be better than not having any. My look was concern for you. You were at the very back, but I thought you would be near Commander Erwin. I couldn’t find you anywhere, so I was the one who was scared. When I saw you, the way that you looked, I was concerned for how you felt, physically and mentally.” That made him lower his gaze to the ground again. I wished I swept last night. 

“Who are you to feel concern for me?” If I didn’t know where he came from, I would have been offended by his question. Truthfully, I was a little hurt that he said it that way, but I knew what he meant. In the underground, those who cared about you were those who used you or were in the same boat as you. I wasn’t a Scout and he knew I couldn’t possibly use him in this situation. He was confused why I had given him any thought, as his normal life would have nothing to do with me. Why didn’t I shy away from him and revere him as an scary, emotionless Scout?

“I’m someone who cares. Someone who’s still confused about you, personally. Why did he come into my café? Why does he keep coming? Someone who knows only a fraction of what it’s like to live in this world and someone who knows nothing about what you have to go through everyday. I’m not a Scout, I’m not a soldier, hell, I don’t think I could punch anyone hard enough to hurt them, but I do know what it feels to lose people and what it feels like to be judged by them too. So, I guess I’m someone who’s game for understanding you, too. You’re concerned about me too. My hands.” He didn’t answer, he just kept looking at his shoes on the floor. What’s so interesting about them? 

“I am concerned, yes. I don’t know why I feel so concerned about the opinions and condition of someone I’ve only talked to on two separate occasions. I’m not a civilian, nor do I live a normal life, but I guess I’m someone who is also game for creating normal. Starting with your tea. I went to your café on a recommendation from a friend and I came back because you gave me some thread of normalcy to hold onto. Sitting here and in that café, I don’t feel like Captain Levi. I just feel like Levi, whoever that is. No titans, no paperwork; just tea.” I smiled up at him and maybe my cheeks were a little warm too. It was just the tea being too hot, that’s what it was. 

“Well, Mr. Levi. Come drink some tea and sink into normalcy. We can talk about anything you want.” He stood up from the wall, contemplating if he was to join me on the couch. If he did, he knew he’d just signed himself up for a lifetime deal. He’d have to come to the café every month at least and he couldn’t die. That would ruin his normal and my understanding. I wasn’t all that surprised when he sat down, but still my heart felt like it was going to burst. Maybe for the first time in his life, he picked to sit instead of to stand. 

“Tea. I don’t know much about it, but I drink it from habit. What teas are good for what? You recommended me mint tea that first time.” I moved my legs up so I could sit crisscross and comfortable. 

“You’ve just asked a very, very loaded question, Levi.” 

We talked late into the night about tea and owning a café. Many cups of tea had kept us up and I had completely gotten lost in conversation that I forgot he would’ve had to leave. He didn’t leave that night, but I don’t remember who slept first or when. He just sat there, leaning with one arm of the back of his chair and one leg crossed, listening and commenting on the various teas I recommended and on what I should do to change the cafe’s layout for a better person-per-square-meter ratio. 

At one point, we had just stopped talking, each taking sips of our respective cups. There weren’t thoughts of titans, of the Scouts, or of failed exhibitions. I also got a lesson in math, so it let me understand that even without a proper education, Levi was a genius at certain things. We sat there soaking in the present. That’s probably why he forgot he had to go back to HQ or why I forgot to prep the starter dough for the morning. We didn’t care much for the future consequences. 

When I woke up, he was gone. The blanket I had given him, saying I’d go sleep in my own bed, was over me and the tea cups were clean and hung up on their rack. It was satisfying to wake up like this. Everything was light and peaceful again as opposed to waking up with Trost’s grim atmosphere. It was seven in the morning, and I was late to open the café, but I didn’t care or feel any rush. As I walked out of the door to a, probably, annoyed crowd, I felt a note in the breast pocket of my coat.

Left at 5AM to get back to HQ. See you after the next expedition.

                                                                                   -L 

Chapter Four→

Chapter Masterlist

#levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x oc #levi x reader #levi x oc #levi aot #attack on titan levi #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #captain levi #levi heichou #original character #aot

[galaxy-parchment]

Nepotism at its Finest

I’m back on my bullshit, fellas! This time we’ve got something fun. A fic that I wrote based on another TMA AU, ‘Timeline of Theseus’, by @creativitycache.  All you need to know is Jon has been the Archivist since he was 8 because time-travel shenanigans and now Elias is his reluctant dad, I would highly suggest reading ToT if you enjoy this fic and even if you don’t. This also hasn’t been beta-read because this is spoiler-y and my usual beta-reader hasn’t listened to TMA and honestly this is pretty self-indulgent.

--

Jon, despite being an Archivist for as long as he could remember, only got the ‘official’ title of Head Archivist once Gertrude finally died. He knew Jonah was the one that did it, but honestly, Jon was just glad he didn’t call in someone else to do his dirty work for once. He always hated when a random avatar barged in and somehow always left some kind of damage in their wake.

Working as an archival assistant wasn’t so bad, other than that. After a while, just to justify him hanging around the Archives all day reading statements, Jonah had given him a position as Gertrude’s assistant. Not that she ever asked him to do anything. It was just a formality.

At this point he’d given up on only reading statements that included people that were already dead. He’d take one over the newer statements, certainly, but the problem was that there’s only a certain number of people that have had supernatural experiences, and if they survived the encounter, they don’t tend to die as quickly as the ones that didn’t make it.

He still occasionally got odd flashes of things he never actually did, but it wasn’t like they had a manual about how his powers worked. Jonah just half-explained that it was probably something to do with his omniscience filling his head up with blanks that didn’t exist. The fuzziness and lack of detail certainly matched up with that theory. Just one of the perks of suddenly gaining knowledge powers at the age of 8, he supposed. At least he’d finally managed to get a grip on what exactly he Knew at random intervals. The Eye still liked to give him the odd unwarranted insight or two, but he didn’t mind all that much.

Strangely, though, he did ‘remember’ all of the assistants Jonah had chosen for him on his first day as the Head Archivist. Sasha, Tim and Martin, although for some reason Sasha didn’t look like how his ‘memories’ picture her.

—

Jon was weird, to be honest. Tim knew it the moment he walked in and saw the guy. Looked like he’d been raised by wolves then taught how to act like he was a respectable academic. Sure, he looked the part, but you could tell he didn’t care about being a ‘scholar’, he only cared about the statements.

He also obviously had some weird tension with Elias. Whenever Tim mentioned him Jon would always change the topic and refuse to acknowledge the man’s existence. He’d worked here for a while, though, probably just a standard ‘gradual resent for your boss’ scenario.

At least Tim thought that was it until Monday.

They were all in the break room, Jon included, eating their lunch, when Elias wandered in and gave them all a polite smile.

“So, Jon,” He said pleasantly, “I was wondering how you were settling in as Head Archivist.”

Jon glanced back from the coffee pot, “Doing fine, thank you…” he grumbled.

“That’s great to hear,” Tim could hear the condescending tone dripping from his voice, “I know that you’re not used to such an active role in the Archives, is all,”

“What? You don’t think I’m capable of the job? You didn’t need to give me the position you know, I can do what I need to do here without it,”

“Oh, goodness, no, you were fully deserving of the promotion,” Elias said, raising his hands in defence, a knowing smile on his face.

“And as I told you when you promoted me, theres no need to worry about me,” the archival assistants stayed silent and glanced at each other awkwardly.

Elias grimaced, “Is it really so bad that I just wanted to see how you were? I have every right to worry,” Tim didn’t know what the relationship there was, but that was definitely a weird thing for your boss to say in his books.

“Elias, I am 24 and an adult who’s been working here for a while, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself,” Jon said sternly, turning to face him with his arms crossed. Okay, that was definitely a weird thing to say. Sasha hid her face in her mug and Martin was fiddling with his hands and staring at them.

“Fine, but you know where to find me if you need anything,” Elias sighed. He turned and walked out the door.

Jon scowled for a moment, the tension in the air thick. He suddenly marched up to the door and yelled down the hall, “You’re not my father, you know!”

Tim was about to ask what the hell that was about before he heard Elias call back.

“I have paperwork that says otherwise!”

Well, that certainly explained a few things.

—

The ‘break room incident’ was still a talking point among the assistants, but at this point it was mostly just Tim complaining that Sasha just didn’t get the job because of nepotism. Jon didn’t even have a degree of any kind, he just got a position as an assistant and then got the Head Archivist promotion.

Martin tried to connect with Jon, though. He’d heard about how all of the old assistants just went missing over time. That must’ve been lonely for Jon. So he brought him tea every day. Sure, Jon didn’t always drink it, but hopefully it helped him feel more comfortable with them.

He did give Martin odd looks occasionally, though, as if they’d known each other and Jon was trying to place his face. He certainly would have remembered meeting someone like Jon, though.

When he wasn’t reading statements, Jon actually came out and spoke to all of the assistants directly when he needed something, which was a bit odd. Not spooky odd, but still odd.

Jon was instructing Martin on some follow-up he would need to do at his desk when Elias made his second appearance of the month. The others stayed quiet, knowing how things went last time.

“Jon, I have some good news!” Elias said, unusually chipper.

Jon seemed unimpressed, “Do tell.”

“Peter and I are getting married!” Martin was about to congratulate him when Jon beat him to it.

“I give it three months,” he deadpanned, not taking his eyes off Elias, who seemed far less offended than Martin would have been in his situation.

“Give me some credit, Jon”

“You’re right, he never even replaced the vase he broke before the last divorce did he? Make it two.” Wait, divorce? Last divorce?

“He’s changed, really, he even said he’d actually replace it once it was official,” Elias defended. Martin spotted Tim in his peripherals jamming his face into his elbow to stifle his own laughter. Sasha had a not-so-subtle smile creeping onto her face.

“Oh, and let me guess, he also promised you he’d ‘start trying to really connect with Jon’ like he does every time, as if he doesn’t literally feed off of doing the exact opposite.”

“No, but he did-“

“No, wait, I’ve got it this time, he said that this time, he’d keep his voyages short and make more time for you!” Jon guessed, intently waiting for Elias’s response

“Yes.” He said curtly. What on earth was happening? Martin wanted nothing more than to be anywhere but this exact position, right next to both of his bosses having a family squabble.

“Let me guess, you came down here to tell me right at this moment because you need me to drive you? Of course,” Jon ran his hand flat across his head to give his hair the gelled flatness Elias’s always flawlessly maintained, “I’m Elias, I’m going to ask Jon to drive me and my fiancee to the courthouse for our tenth marriage! I can’t drive myself, though, because then Peter is going to insult my driving and then I’ll tell him that he has no place to do so since he doesn’t even have a license! Then we’re going to cancel and try again the next week!” He ranted in a tone that was obviously meant to imitate Elias.

“We’re going next Wednesday.” Elias said.

“Fine.” Jon replied without a second thought, turning back to Martin, who hadn’t realised he was holding his breath. Elias silently turned and headed out of the Archives.

The room was silent for a moment. Sasha spoke up first.

“Did you say tenth time?” She asked incredulously.

“Yes, and that’s only the legal ones. I’ve seen them ‘get married’ one night and the next they’ll swear vengeance on each other. Peter gives excellent Christmas presents, though, what with the insurmountable wealth.”

Tim barked out the laugh he was suppressing, “Jon, I just really want you to know, that is the funniest thing I’ve witnessed in my life, thank you,"

--

For the record I’ve changed a few rules of how the whole Jon situation works and I mostly just took the concept of adult Jon and Elias father-son dynamic and sprinted with it.

#galaxywrites #the magnus archives #tma #tma spoilers #tma season 4 spoilers #timeline of theseus #elias bouchard #jonathan sims #sasha james #martin blackwood #timothy stoker #season 1 archives crew #slight comedic lonelyeyes #as it should be in every tma fic that mentions either of them #fanfiction

[thewhizzyhead]

HELLO SOME OF YOU GUYS LIKED MISFITS AND SOME OF YOU GUYS LIKED GRADE 11 (i posted about that musical draft thingy back in march and um yea there have been a lot of changes fjxjf) AND GUESS WHAT DUDES I HAVE MORE MUSICAL CONCEPT SHITS TO RAMBLE ABOUT BECAUSE MY BRAIN IS WAY TOO HYPERACTIVE FOR MY OWN GOOD SO SIT BACK, RELAX AND ENJOY THIS CLUSTERFUCK

@ari-is-anxious have fun with this and i wish you the best of luck in trying to comprehend this-

+ Kasaysayan (which means History) - this is the 2nd musical concept thingy i made (the first one being Misfits) and yea i started thinking of this went I was 14. I kinda wanted it to tell a story of like the entirety of philippine history as narrated by students and i wanted to kinda emphasize how history has many faces and how many different factors essentially blur our perspective of what we view as the past. I also wanted to like draw parallels between what our ancestors have experienced and what we currently experience esp when it comes to sociopolitical and economic stuffs and I wanted to like correct a lot of misconceptions about ph history and provide more insight and info about ph's past (i.e how centuries of colonialism have affected our current culture and overall social mindset esp in regards to our want for validation from foreigners aka the whole #PinoyPride thing; how even though activism and revolution is like the main reason on as to why the Philippines even exists, it continues to be demonized here; the ideologies of some of our revolutionary heroes and presidents and why some of them are dicks; etc etc). Also I wanted to showcase like um PH music, art, and dance and how that has progressed and also regressed throughout the years (*shakes fist at colonizers*) and um YEA YOU CAN SEE WHY I EVENTUALLY AND RATHER QUICKLY DISCONTINUED THIS TJCJSJF THIS IS *NOT* DOABLE AT ALL THSJFHF it could work as a concept album and a one-time performance BUT NOT LIKE A LEGIT PRODUCTION SO YEA FOR NOW IT WILL STAY IN THE DRAFT FOLDER FJXNSJF but yea this idea then led to the next two ideas woo

+ Noli/Fili - started wanting to make this at the start of quarantine so like um march 2020 heck i even made a wholeass word doc for this fjdjdv so it's basically a ph-rock-rap-based musical adaptation of Jose Rizal's Noli Me Tangere (Touch Me Not) and El Filibusterismo (The Filibuster) (yes these two novels are like tne national novels here since rizal is our national here and yea these were originally written in Spanish) but the protagonist of El Fili (Simoun) takes charge of telling Noli's story in Act 1 while Noli's protag (Crisostomo Ibarra) takes charge of telling Fili's story in Act 2. Those two books have very different tones and those two characters have um VERY DIFFERENT world views so i thought it would be interesting to tell one's story through the eyes of someone different and yet also the same to provide a lot more insight on how the events in the novels affected these two protags (there is a Good Reason for this and um Filipinos who studied this in 9th and 10th grade know what i'm talking about fhshf if u wanna um know what i'm talking about and don't wanna read the novels (they are very long) i suggest looking up El Filibusterismo and um yea check out Simoun fjsjf). Like for example, there would be times that Noli's narrator (Simoun) (whose general demeanor is like um a lot more cunning and cynical and a lot more resentful of the events that have happened compared to Fili's narrator) would directly question the Noli protag's (Ibarra) actions while Fili's narrator (Ibarra) (he is a lot more um hopeful and peaceful compared to Simoun) often questions how Fili's protag (Simoun) turned into well um a very cynical and cunning person with a taste for revenge (I am trying my hardest to NOT spoil the novels here gjdjf) and yea because the story is set in Spanish Colonial times here, i wanna focus more on the sociopolitical aspects and problems in the novels and how those still remain relevant here, hence the ph-rock-rap-based music. Also I would like to point out that the curriculum here barely like goes into depth about the subject matter of the novels (esp the sociopolitcal parts) and how said subject matter shaped the characters here and HOW EVERY SINGLE THING IN THIS DAMN NOVEL IS STILL RELEVANT,,,so um basically the curriculum is currently missing the entire point of the novels since Rizal wrote these two with the intent to provide socioecononic and political commentary on the pure shit that many of the Filipinos experienced under Spanish colonial rule,,,SO THIS THINGY IS BASICALLY MY MIDDLE FINGER TO THE CURRICULUM AND ESSENTIALLY MY ATTEMPT TO SHOW MORE OF THE NOVELS COMPARED TO WHAT HAS BEEN TAUGHT TO US FJJSJFV this is gonna be a nightmare to write tho cause wow those novels are jampacked

+ Patron - if this ever becomes a thing, I will consider it the greatest thing i'll ever write gjcjdbc I REALLY WANT THIS TO BE A THINGY AAAA so the plot is barebones atm but it's basically about journalism and activism here in the Philippines (and how both can get you killed fjjsjf i'm not kidding these two can legit get you killed wah redtagging sucks shit and the anti terror law can suck even more shit) and how the youth are expected to be purveyors of the country's advancement and improvement despite the fact that our voices are oftentimes dismissed and even permanently silenced when what we say goes against what those in power want us to say,,,those this is basically Misfit's spiritual successor fjxjdjf both of those musicals share similar themes fjxns so yea expect me ranting about a lot of political stuff here and a lot of talking about the ideologies of past and present politics and revolutions and how those affect the masses and how the masses can shape them in return. There will also be talk on how journalism's role in shaping society and how proper dissemination of information and lack thereof can affect people's mindsets aND HOW JOURNALISM IS OFTENTIMES MANIPULATED TO MANIPULATE PEOPLE'S MINDSETS (STUDENT JOURNALIST AND ASPIRING PROFESSIONAL JOURNALIST'S RANTS GO BRRRRR YEA I HAVE A LOT TO RANT ABOUT).

Oh and also this musical is heavily inspired by both the noli and el fili novels and by spring awakening (Everything I Write Will Be Inspired By Spring Awakening dbjxd) in a sense that Act 1's active protagonist (who then becomes Act 2's passive protag) is named Elias and is based on both Elias from Rizal's novels and on Melchior Gabor (which is funny cause rizal's elias is NOTHING LIKE MELCHIOR GABOR SO UM LOOK IT'S GONNA BE HARD TO EXPLAIN JUST UM YEA IT'S MESSY) while the passive protagonist (who becomes the active protag by the end of act 1 and throughout the entire 2nd act) is named Cris Ibarra and is based on Moritz Stiefel and Rizal's Ibarra (more specifically um Rizal's Ibarra's growth into a very different character throughout the events of the two novels).

ALSOOO there is this one concept that made me really REAALLY want to make Patron an actual thingy and that is the existence of um Shadows in the show. Inspired by the voices in Deaf West Speing Awakening, these Shadows can always be found lurking on stage alongside their respective characters like um if Elias is in a scene, his shadow can also be found on stage somewhere. I kinda want them to like represent the characters' innermost thoughts and the other parts of themselves the characters' would like to hide through how the Shadows act on stage and um yea choreography gjsjf Patron is porbably gonna be very dance heavy so um yea it's a bit hard to explain so i'll just point to Alex Boniello and Daniel Durant's Moritz fjxjjf i kinda want it to be like that. The Shadows would be part of the show's ensemble and um yea lots of dancing and prop moving woo also at times they would be singing for the character they are assigned to like um while Elias would be in the middle of doing something on stage, his Shadow would be the one singing in his stead and when his Shadow sings, that's when the character becomes the most vulnerable to the audience because the Shadows often expose their characters' thoughts and worries to the audience that the characters themselves wouldn't really express. So like um the Shadows address the audience a lot gjxjsjd except for one aka Ibarra's Shadow. Instead of addressing the audience, Ibarra's shadow addresses IBARRA directly, often questioning Ibarra's actions (especially their hesitance in Act 1). ig ibarra's shadow is rather representative of what Ibarra would turn into in Act 2 when they take over as the Active protag. But um Ibarra's shadow still questions Ibarra frequently esp in regards to their risky actions so um yea Ibarra's shadow is kinda like the Fates the hadestown wherein they serve to sow doubt but over here Ibarra's shadow is meant to symbolize how insecure they feel in regards to their decisions which well, as the protag, make and break the show. Also um yea the rest of the characters' shadows also start addressing their characters more while the characters themselves start addressing the audience more so woo switcheroo! Also the dynamic that the characters have with each other is similar to the dynamics between the kids in Spring Awakening wherein they are just kids (well in this cause young adults aged 18-20) trying to figure out life in general and all that so woo

(also I would like to note that I really want Ibarra's role to be open to all genders in order to like make a statement that anyone can grow into the character Ibarra becomes throughout Patron but rn hmm i'm still thinking about how that will play out especially given that I kinda wanted Patron's Ibarra to have two love interests here aka Elias and Clara (kiiiiinda based on Maria Clara aka Ibarra's actual love interest from Rizal's novels but um YEA THERE ARE A LOT OF DEVIATIONS GJXSF) but tbh i'm still figuring out a way to make Clara have a much larger role here in terms of pushing the plot cause rn the Elias and Ibarra dynamic have an advantage since um active-passive protagonist switcheroo so I'm kinda thinking of a way to make Clara a secret 3rd protag that is both an active and a passive one? I dunno fjsjd honestly i'm still trying to figure out what Maria Clara represents in the novels cause I know for certain that Rizal did not write her to be a mere demure love interest so um yea WORK IN PROGRESS AND UM ALL IN ALL IBARRA CAN BE PLAYED BY ANY AND ALL GENDERS AND IBARRA IS PANSEXUAL BECAUSE I FUCKING WANT THEM TO BE GJSJJF)

+ Grade 12 - OKI SO LIKE I'VE POSTED ABOUT THIS BEFORE BACK IN MARCH BUT UM I'VE CHANGED SOME STUFF GJXJJD so anyways Grade 12 is well um designed to be a campy-please-don't-take-this-seriously-this-is-just-for-laughs-and-gags musical about 12th graders (i changed the grade to raise the stakes) that makes fun of Filipino TV tropes esp when related to teenagers while also providing a lit more insight on ad to what teenagers go through on a daily basis in terms of trying to grow into the person they want themselves to be while also trying to change to adapt to a world that more often that not goes against them. So yea it's not as heavy as the other musicals, heck I designed this after Preston Max Allen's Carrie 2 musical (dude check it out it has jenny rose baker and it's gold) so woo funsies but i also like this to mean something. Oh and also this is basically me ranting about Everything Wrong In The Philippine Education System (how it more often than not is really detrimental to the students' personal wellbeings through constant overwork and disregard of physical, mental and emotional health issues, its accessibility issues esp the issues experiences by those of the poorer sectors, the um very outdated info at times, how the system perpetuates classism and a shit ton of very detrimental social hierarchy bullshits esp through the implementation of the star sections (speaking as someone who's been in the "lower" sections and has also been in the star sections, I HAVE A LOT TO RANT ABOUT THIS ONE OH BOY FUN FACT I WANTED TO MAKE AN ACADEMIC PAPER ON THIS BUT MY 10TH GRADE TEACHER WOULDN'T LET ME) etc etc) plot is mainly barebones atm but um yea here are some of the updates to the characters: Kyla (formerly named Kate), Noel and Ella haven't changed that much but um I've decided to give the Halos Lagi Nalang number to Kyla and Max (nonbinary student that serves as a foil to Kyla in which Max is constantly being denied opportunities that they want while Kyla constantly refuses opportunities that Max wants; also yea i'll be talking about stories that trans and nonbinary students have experienced in both of my high schools through Max cause i really wanna bring attention to how the trans and nonbinary community is really being shat on despite the um sliiight improvement in the way schools treat the (cisgender) members of the lgbtq+ community; also they are just as ambitious as Ella (i envision her to be like um Draft Eva + Riley jfhdf) um yea major plot pusher woo I'd compare them to Draft Eva + Reese but um I Sincerely And Solemnly Promise To Not Screw Them Over In Act 2 fjjxfj) instead because they will be the ones with queerness being a much bigger factor to their individual plotlines compared to Noel and Ella.

The other main characters are um Marco (typical jock dude who's actually one of the more philosophical and introspective characters in the show; i want to like um highlight the whole sports scholarships debacle, how stereotypes can affect how people are treated in real life and also touch on the machismo culture that's um really being enforced here esp with him being an athlete and all; also he's really good friends with Max and through that friendship he learns that him slightly questioning his sexuality is a good thing so yea), Ruben & Lexi (i don't have that much planned for them atm because woo barebones plot but i do imagine them to be initially framed as the more antagonistic characters and have that like stereotype be taken apart as the show goes on esp considering that both are in the "lower sections" and are um more prone to stereotyping) aND A NARRATOR CHARACTER HMMM WHERE HAVE WE SEEN THIS BEFORE GJXJD oki but this Narrator (can be played by any gender as long as the actor IS VERY FUNNY LIKE COMEDIC TIMING IS A *MUST*) is based on the Narrator in PMA's Carrie 2 but I also want the narrator to be like um more crucial to the plot as the story progresses esp as they interact with both the audience and the characters a lot more so like um it's a bit hard to describe their exact role here because um BAREBONES PLOT FJXJD but altho they can't directly affect the story they are telling (cause so far my plan for them is like um they were a former classmate of 7/8 of the characters here but unfortunately they died due to a car accident), they can and do indeed influence the characters in it and all of the characters (except Kyla) know who they are (especially Ruben) so um yea. Also the solo I have planned for them is called Live On (which is um yea a spin off of Move On fjxjd) and through them, I plan to explore the tragedy of unexpected deaths and what happens to those left behind (this will be based on observations and accounts from many of my former schoolmates) and how many have yet to move on and how they choose to live on despite of that because they know that's what their former classmate, schoolmate, and loved on would've wanted.

SO OBVIOUSLY I OWE GRADE 12 TO SIR PRESTON MAX ALLEN GJXJFJD THANK YOU PMA FOR ONCE AGAIN INFLUENCING MY WORK WOO

+ Concepts - oki so this is the only musical so far that i wanna write solely in English nfjsj so this is inspired by Fun Home in which there are like versions of characters in different ages right? Over here there are 2 versions of 6 characters: the 17-18 year old ones, and the 27-28 year old ones. Through them, this musical will explore two main things: (1) the sad and depressing reality of having to give up one's artistic dreams and passions for the sake of practicality and (2) choosing to take a leap of faith and try to grasp on to whatever chances one may have left to live a life that means more than just making ends meet. Act 1 has the teenagers focus on Point 2 while the adults focus on Point 1; Act 2 has the teenagers focus on Point 1 while the adults end up focusing on Act 2. Once again, um barebones plot with even more barebones characters (heck i dont even have NAMES for them gnxnd) but i think it'll be pretty cool to elaborate upon the shitty circumstances here in the ph when it comes to artistic pursuits and how most of the kids I know are terrified of growing up because they don't want to give up dreaming even though that they know that they have to wake up. I also think it'll be cool to point out thay even though that yea situations like these suck, it'll never ever be too late to pick up the pieces and try again cause at the end of the day, life only ends when you say it will end: there will always be chances, you just need to be gutsy enough to grasp them. Also um yea I originally planned to post like a shit ton of poems this month that would basically be the lyrics of the songs that would go into this musical bUT I'M LAZY SO I'M THROWING AWAY THE POSTING SCHEDULE FJXJSJD anyways here r 2 of the poems/songs that i wanna make for this:

+ In 10 Years - a duet between one of the teenagers and their adult counterpart which is um basically the teen singing their optimistic yet really in-depth and mature perspective on chasing Point 2 while the adult sings about Point 1, wishing that they could tell their teen self about how disappointed they will be; i imagine this to be um kinda like the first version of Dear Theodosia but um more intense maybe fjdjf

+ Run - a duet between two teens who are best friends where one girl tries to convince the other to run and play with her in the nearby playground AND YES THIS DUET IS VERY FUCKING GAY JDJSJDF this was um originally part of Grade 12 tbh and it was supposed to be sung by Lexi and it was supposed to be about a 9th grade event that i personally was a part of where um 9th grade student researchers at a research seminar at a different freaking university took over the elementary students' playground when the seminar finished (I SHALL TREASURE THAT MEMORY FOREVER) and um yea it was basically about holding on to your childhood while you still can...aND THEN I UNINTENTIONALLY MADE IT GAY JFJSJSF Lexi is still getting that song about the research seminar event tho but um it won't be Run cause Run basically turned into a song that's not only about holding on to what's left of your childhood but also to the people you treasure that you know you have to leave behind sooner or later and um yea the girl that the one girl tries to convince to go to the playground agrees to that and then boom go duet stylized after 21 and Alone Now + I Don't Care by freaking preston max allen once again woo (i promise that this won't be plagiarism gndnd) (also altho the two girls have to go their separate ways by their graduation, they eventually meet again at the end of act 2 so woo hopeful ending for the sapphics

OKI THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY FHXHSHD THIS IS WAY TOO FUCKING LONG OF A RAMBLE GOOD GOD AAAAA SO UM IF ANYONE ELSE MADE IT TO THE END, I ONCE AGAIN WILL SEND YOU A SHIT TON OF CARBONARA-

#ari i'm so sorry but this is like...so unbelievably long and convoluted tjxjs GOODLUCK #AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS TJXJSF #so moral of the story is: my brain is too hyperactive for my own good #God help me #also God help those who are gonna try to read this fjxjs #so woo more musical concept rambles aaa #move on tw #move on #ask to tag #izzy's rambles and shit

[peachteacutie]

Nursery School Teacher Jon Au!

Roles:

-Jon teaches the older children, the 3-5 year old's

-Tim works with the younger children/babies, the 0-2 year old's.

-Sasha is the director of the Nursery School

-Martin is a neighbor/adopted uncle that sometimes picks up their daughter Alice. He’s adopted in the sense that this child has claimed Martin as their uncle.

(Any other characters not here that you think should be included, like Melanie, Georgie, Elias, any Avatars, etc... just send an ask with what you think they should be, and we’ll figure it out together.

I’m considering making the avatars children so any thoughts on that?)

Fun Ideas From my brain/friends brains:

-Sasha is the best director. If Tim or Jon have any trouble with a parent, that they can not handle themselves, they send them to her.

-Sasha has no trouble handling difficult/rude parents.

-Jon wears exclusively long skirts, it’s a necessity you can’t convince me otherwise. They’re comfortable, and easier to fit his leg braces.

-Jon can almost answer ever single question a child asks him, and Tim is jealous of this talent.

-Jon is always patient with the children when talking to them or disciplining them because his grandmother was never patient with him. He doesn’t want any of these children to feel the way he did.

-Jon does the best voices for stories so he usually ends up doing story time for both classes. Usually in Tim’s room so they don’t have to haul all the infants to the older kids room. The older kids like getting to visit the babies.

-Martin will sometimes just stand in the door way watching Jon interact with the children, before Alice notices him and blows his cover.

-Children just handing Jon and Tim things.

-Ex: Rocks they thought were pretty, acorn caps, play food that they want them to pretend eat, etc.

-Just random displays of affection.

-Ex: grabbing their hand to hold it or just show them something, children crawling into Jon’s lap while he reads or even just snuggling in close, random sweet little hugs, etc.

-The children adore Jon, and Tim swears it’s because they know Jon is short.

Quote from @voiceless-terror:

Tim: He can communicate with them in a way we can’t, Martin. It’s the short King energy!

-Martin almost burst out laughing when Tim said that but he didn’t because he didn’t want to hurt Jon’s feelings.

-When Jon’s having a bad day or is just feeling grumpy Tim just hands him babies, because you can’t be grumpy while holding a baby.

Example from @voiceless-terror​:

Jon ranting about something, Tim hands him a small child.

Tim: Here, hold him for a sec?

Jon: Tim- ugh fine, okay

Ten minutes later.

Tim: Okay, I can take him back now.

Jon, staring intently at this chubby, gurgling baby: Not now we’re talking.

Meeting Idea courtesy of both @voiceless-terror and @balanced-to-a-tea :

-So the idea essentially is Martin comes to pick up a friend/neighbors kid from nursery School and is confronted with Jon intently listening to a child chatter away. Of course Martin falls in love immediately, and actually starts offering to pick up their daughter more so he can observe this stuffy little man dressed like he’s teaching grade school recite ABC’s to a room full of toddlers.

-They meet when Martin comes in to pick their daughter up only to find out that he hasn’t been registered as someone who can pick up that child. So Sasha leaves them alone to chat and make awkward small talk while she goes to call the parents to ensure that it’s okay for Martin to pick up their daughter.

-Leading to a couple awkward miss-understandings along the way such as:

 -Jon thinking that Martin’s flirting with him because he’s being so nice, as usually he has to deal with people getting irritated over these things, and it’s not uncommon for single moms (and a few single dads) to flirt with him.

-Later of course poor Jon does end up flirting with Martin and now Martin thinks Jon is just being nice. 

Ahhhhh So much! Anyway if anyone has any other ideas for this Au, hit up my Ask box I would love to hear them! I might write a fic for this in the future!

#preschool/nursery school au #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #tim stoker #sasha james #jonmartin #soft thoughts

[trifoliate-undergrowth]

Peter thinks they can Netflix and chill to a period piece and maybe it'll be funny bc haha Elias did you really dress like that back in the day but it backfires because Elias starts yelling at the screen about details that they got wrong and he keeps pausing the movie to go off on these rants about how THAT'S NOT A FASHION FROM 1813 THAT ONLY APPEARED LATER and Peter wants to die

It is the LEAST romantic thing they have ever done and that's coming from someone who has watched his man transfer his eyeballs into a new body with his bare hands

Around midnight Peter suggests that they call it a night or at least pick a different movie please but by this point Elias is overly invested in critiquing this production of Pride and Prejudice and they Have To Finish It

It's 3am by the time they finish the movie and the downstairs neighbors are yelling at them to shut up about the history paper they're apparently writing

#lonely eyes #lonelyeyes #the Magnus archives #Victorian Elias bastard Bouchard #the saga continues #Peter Lukas #humor #personal

[rest-upon-the-morning-light]

JonMartin fic

So I’m trying to get back into fic writing, especially for TMA, and have a multi chapter fic planned but wanted to start with a smaller one shot style fic to warm up. It’s been an age since I’ve written anything, much less something that wasn’t just reader based or smut lmao. I’ve added trigger warnings but if I missed any do let me know! 

Any feedback would be great and if you like this, please send me prompts! Happy to write anything from fluff to smut, just as long as its TMA based :D 

So! Here is my cute fluff JonMartin fic! Enjoy~ 

Everybody Wants To Be A Cat 

Word Count: 2240 

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of Animal Abuse, but nothing to graphic. Anxiety. Self Worth Issues. Season 1 Jon being Season 1 Jon. Season 1 Martin being Season 1 Martin.

Fandom: The Magnus Archive

Pairings: Jonathan Sims/Martin Blackwood 

Summary: Martin was certain of two things. One, he had an enormous crush on his boss. Two, his boss hated him. Who knew a one eyed beast of an alley cat would bring them closer?

Martin Blackwood has two problems.

Problem number one. He was absolutely certain he was more than a little bit in love with his boss.

Problem number two. His was absolutely certain said boss hated him.

 Well, hated was probably a strong word. Hated implied that Jon thought of him at all, and it was far more likely that Jon thought of him very little throughout his day. Except, of course, when Martin did something wrong. Then those piercing eyes of his would be solely fixed on him whilst he shouted about how inept Martin was or how stupid his mistake had been.

It hurt, those moments. It hurt that the only time Jon ever truly seemed to see Martin was when he was angry at him. Not when Martin did an amazing follow up on a statement. Not when he’d created a great rapport with a statement giver or their family. Not when he brought Jon tea. Just when he did something wrong.

It was a running theme in this annoyance Martin called his life.

He still couldn’t help these feelings though. Jon was an arse half the time that much was true. It infuriated Tim to know end when Jon would lash out at Martin. “He has no right Martin. Mistake or not he’s your boss, he’s supposed to help you, not act like a massive dick all the time”

It was harder for Tim and Sasha in a way. They’d been Jon’s equal for a long time, working together. Moving to the Archive was always going to be a bit of a challenge. To have friend become boss. Especially for Sasha, who everyone thought was going to be become Head Archivist. But neither had held any real resentment over Jon for the change. After all, it wasn’t his choice, it was Elias’s.

But Jon’s sudden shift from rude but mostly recluse and occasionally friendly colleague to rude very recluse and stick constantly up arse boss was harder than any of them expected.

Martin could understand. It was big position and Jon seemed like the type to take everything he did very seriously. This meant holding everything in the archive to a high standard. His assistance included.

So yes, Jon was awful to him a lot of the time. But he was passionate. He cared. For all his blustering that none of this was real, Martin could see how much he empathised with the people who had given those statements. How he looked like he’d personally failed them when a follow up revealed they had died not longer after they’d come to visit the institute.

His crush probably wasn’t the most healthy but sue him! He liked being a bit in love. He liked having inspiration for his poetry. He enjoyed the fluttery feeling in his stomach when he came into work.

He just wished Jon didn’t quite hate. No. Didn’t quite dislike him so much.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is a cat that has been hiding the alleyway behind the Institute for several days now.

Martin noticed the poor thing when he’d been taking out some rubbish that accumulated in the Archive. Usually that sort of thing wasn’t his job, but he’d been done for the day anyway and he liked to be useful, even if no one really noticed.

It was a mangy young thing. Light brown fur matted, one eye seemed to be damaged and it hissed every time Martin so much as approached it.

He couldn’t just leave it though. Poor thing needed help. It was out here, lonely, forgotten, damaged by the people that probably at one point said they’d love and protect it.

Was he projecting onto a stray cat now? God this was a new level of sad.

So he did what someone in his position did best. He researched.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is a surprising number of places to buy cat supplies near the Institute and the workers in the shop were incredibly helpful with his questions.

Approach slowly. Don’t try to touch or hold the cat. Leave out food and water. He’d also bought a small plastic hut and shoved a warm blanket inside for the large cat. He didn’t know what breed it was. Just that it was grumpy and hurt.

It didn’t take a great deal away from his own funds either. His job paid well enough and he didn’t exactly go out with people very often, buying expensive drinks or tickets to shows.

His special treat was usually some sugar drenched coffee.

He couldn’t see any physical injuries on the cat, apart from its eye, so he put some treats in the hut, left out the food and water, then left.

He came back everyday with more supplies to keep the large growling cat comfortable. Every day that passed the cat came a little bit closer to him. He grinned at that. Hoping one day it would come close enough to pet.

He’d read somewhere that when cats blink, once and slow, it was a sign that they trusted you. Martin waited for that day with bated breath.

Tim and Sasha were a little bit suspicious as to where he was going on his lunch breaks. He told them he just taking a long walk, getting some fresh air away from the dusty old archives but he knew it wasn’t the best lie.

Lying for the sake of his job was one thing. Lying to his friends for no good reason was another.

It wasn’t like he doing anything bad. It was more that he wanted this for himself. He wasn’t even too sure why. Part of him wondered if he was worried the cat would somehow take some natural liking to either one of them or both. He didn’t want to lose all his hard work.

Or, if he was being more honest with himself, he didn’t want the cat to abandon him for someone better.

Yeah. New level of pathetic had been reached.

But one lunch, a few weeks after he’d first spotted the broken but massive feline, that the lying and the ill feeling became absolutely worth it.

Because the cat approached him.

Martin didn’t move a single muscle. He was sat on a small wooden box in the alley. Far enough away as to not frighten the poor thing, but close enough that the cat could make contact if it wanted to.

And today it did.

He held his breath the closer it got, keeping eye contact with its good eye the whole time. It paused for a moment, right in the front of his bent legs, before it let out a small mirp noise and butted its head against his knee.

“Oh hello” Martin laughed, chest feeling lighter than it had in an exceptionally long time.

He reached out his hand slowly to pet its head and let out another sign of relief when the one eyed cat let him.

“Well” he began

“I can’t very well keep calling you cat or beast in my head, you’ll need a name”.

It didn’t acknowledge his words in any way, just continued to let him scratch behind its ears and watched him with its one working eye. He could almost imagine its thoughts.

“Silly Martin, just come up with one already. Stop wasting time”.

He let out a soft chuckle at the thought, a name ready on his lips.

“Jon” he smiled gently.

“I think I’ll call you Jon”.

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 It went well after that. Martin made plans to keep the cat. It would help the dreariness of his lonely flat, and he was lucky his landlord allowed pets in his building.

He couldn’t afford proper insurance but the workers at the pet shop knew an emergency vet that wasn’t too expensive, so he could get Cat Jon’s eye checked out soon.

Giddy as he was with his newfound friend, he didn’t realise that he’d been less subtle than usual about where he was going on his break.

It was one grey, wet Wednesday that it all came to ahead.

He’d been sitting crossed legged on the ground, his coat below him as a sort of makeshift blanket to keep his trousers dry, when Human Jon found them.

He hadn’t even noticed Jon had followed him until the backdoor that led the alley burst open with a bang that echoed down the narrow way.

“Martin” shouted Jon, looking at some papers in his hand.

“I need you to take your lunch late and follow up on this report. You made several errors in your research that, frankly, a child could spot. I don’t know what you’re doing out here but if you have time to sit around then –“

Jon’s rant was cut short as he finally looked up to the picture that greeted him.

Cat Jon had leaped into his arms from the loud noise, clinging to Martin’s bright yellow sweater.

Martin froze, cat in arms as Jon stared at him with a look of equal shock.

“Oh” began Jon softly

“Sorry” Martin practically shouted.

“I – eh – this is, well um, a cat, I found? A few weeks ago, actually. I’ve been sort of taking care of it? Getting it food and water and um” he gestured to the plastic hut and blanket he’d laid out.

“He was hurt you see. Only one eye and really badly taken care of. Abandoned, I recon. So I’ve been out here on lunches making sure he’s, um, that he’s okay? Is that..is that alright?” he trailed off nervously.

He couldn’t look at Jon. It wasn’t exactly something to be ashamed of, taking care of a stray cat. But he could imagine Jon being the sort of serious no nonsense person who would see it as a waste of time, his lunch break or not. God would this make his relationship worse? Would Jon scold him for it? Did it make him seem more pathetic than before? Christ, was that even possible?

He didn’t notice the movement until Jon was sat beside him on the floor.

Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, sat on a dirty alley floor with Martin K Blackwood.

He watched with bated breath as Human Jon reached his hand out to Cat Jon and let out a small sound of relief when Cat Jon didn’t bite, scratch or run away.

“You poor thing” murmured Jon, eyes only on his (unknowing) cat counterpart.

“What have they done to you? Well, you look better now than you probably did before. Thank to our Martin here”.

Martin couldn’t help but blush deeply at that. Hot all over his face. He couldn’t handle this. Jon being all, all soft and gentle and calling him “our” Martin.

“You’ve been taking care of him then?” Jon looked up at Martin now. Eyes soft and kind for once. It nearly took all of Martins brain power to respond after receiving such a look.

“Yes” he began.

“Like I said, I found him a few weeks ago. Planning on taking him back to mine soon, get him out of the cold properly”.

Jon nodded, eyes never leaving Martins, hand firmly petting the cat in Martins arms.

“I’m sorry, about the work” Martin nervously bit his lip.

“I’ve been really worried about him so I rushed it to get out here on time. It’s no excuse and I know you don’t exactly think highly of my work in the first place. I’ll make sure I stay late tonight so I can catch up”

“Martin” interrupted Jon, eye straying on the bitten lip, a slight flush to his cheeks.

“I’m the one who should be sorry. I haven’t been fair to you these past few months. It’s been unprofessional at best and, well, and downright cruel at worst”

“Your job is stressful” Martin tried to defend

“And we both know I’m not exactly at the same standard at the others”

“Still” Jon continued.

“It’s my job to help you, not, berate you at every mistake. You came from the library, not research, so you have different skill set and – well, its been hard for us all. Not fair of me to put all that blame on you. God knows Tim could stand to be a bit more professional at times” Jon grumbled out the last part, a small pout to his lips.

Martin laughed at that, smiling wider than he could last remember.

“Tim just likes to keep you human, I think” he winked and watched with fascination as the flush came back to Jon’s dark cheeks.

Cat Jon leap out of his arms after that, toddling off to who knows where.

“Well” Martin began, getting up from his cross legged position on the floor.

“We still have time for lunch, we could, um, maybe eat together? If that’s okay I mean! You could help me figure out a name for him?” “You don’t have one already?” replied Jon, surprise in his voice “Uhhh not any suitable ones, no” Martin laughed awkwardly.

He couldn’t exactly say he’d name the poor blighter after Jon. He doubted Jon would take it as a compliment and he didn’t want to ruin whatever fragile peace they’d stumbled onto.

He held out his hand to help Jon off the floor. Jon eyed it, before bringing his own hand up and placing it into Martins larger ones. Martin pulled him up and held back a small gasp as Jon shot forward quicker than intended, his smaller hand landing on Martin chest.

Jon looked up at him, a small shy smile gracing his lips.

“Beautiful” Martin couldn’t help but think, face and ears bright red.

Jon pulled back, coughing every so slightly into his fist.

“Yes, well, I’ve named a cat or two in my time, it won’t be too hard” “Oh?” teased Martin

“What about Magnus? We did find him here” Jon shook his head at that, crinkling his nose slightly.

“Absolutely not, something more dignified. The Captain maybe?” “Captain?” countered Martin

“The Captain” continued Jon as they began to head back inside

“I suppose the one eye does give him a bit of a pirate look” Martin couldn’t help by laugh slightly as he said it.

“Yes” Jon laughed back

“Dignified but still fitting his nature” And off they went, back into the Institute. Unaware of any monstrous eyes watching them as they simply watched each other. A new, wonderful feeling developing between them.

Neither noticed that they still held each others hands as they made their way to the break room.

And if they spoke of cat names, and toys and flushed deeply when they did notice the hands still entwined, well.

Those moments were only for them.

#the magnus archives #tma #writing #fanfiction #jon and martin both project onto the same cat #cats just sat there like #pls someone fucking take me home #kiss already #jonmartin #god i love soft moments for them #hope you guys enjoy! #pls send me prompts they feed me #my writing