#you don't feel part of a community when you're writing for a year and nobody gives a fuck

[thot-of-khonshu]

bell bottom blues (joel miller x f!reader)

Masterlist | Ko-Fi

Summary: you're the town seamstress and you've had a crush on joel miller for ages. when he gifts you a pair of bell bottoms, you go to his house and finally confess your feelings leading to a night of whiskey and fun. Inspired by the song 'bell bottom blues' by eric clapton/derek and the dominos

Rating: M, 18+

Word count: 6.5K

Content: a fluffy smut, if you will. shy joel, joel playing guitar, age gap (20+ years), pining, miscommunication, alcohol use, dirty talk, fingering, oral (f and m receiving), unprotected sex, creampie

A/N: I've been on a bit of a writing hiatus due to work and personal obligations, plus some fandom drama. but when the bug calls, the bug calls. I hope you guys enjoy and remember to like and reblog! <3

“God I wish I had her tits.” You bemoaned, raking through an old magazine. You found it with a film of dust in the safety hideout you had all primarily used when patrolling and you just couldn’t keep your eyes away from it.

“Way to keep your eye on what’s important.” Your watch partner, Joel, deadpanned while surveying the area.

“It’s my break time so no judgment, old man.” You looked up at him from the couch you were sitting on. The door was open to let in the cool fall air and so you could converse with Joel. “I didn’t say anything when you brought your guee-tar on our last watch together.”

"Very funny." Joel drawled. "But I don't seem to recall you complainin' much when I played "Blackbird"."

You huffed, a little smile pulling at the corner of your lips as you turned the page. "That's because it's a good song."

He grinned to himself, looking out the window again. "It sure is."

You two fell into a comfortable silence while you continued to read your magazine. That was the best part about patrol days with Joel, he was a great listener and you felt comfortable confiding in him.

When he had originally shown back up to Jackson with his kind-of-daughter Ellie, nobody had really known what to make of him. You'd heard stories from your community's leader Maria since she was married to his brother, Tommy, but she had never actually met him until they had stumbled upon the commune for the first time. As far as Tommy's advice on what to make of him? "Give him some space but make sure you get to know him. He's not as bad as he might come across."

You hadn't understood at the time what he meant by that but after spending more time with him around the town you had started to figure him out. For instance, he was a great listener, a hard worker, and had a very dry sense of humor. Also, he was incredibly handsome in a rough-around-the-edges type of way. You two had fallen into a comfortable friendship whenever you'd seen each other around or had to patrol together. In the world before the outbreak, you couldn't have imagined being friendly with a man twenty years your senior. But that was the world before the outbreak, you thought, smiling a bit to yourself.

"You got something good there, darlin'?"

You glanced up at him, your heart jumping at the sudden noise after the quiet for the past half hour. You could feel a blush crawling up your neck.

"Uh, not really." You flipped the page, trying to play it cool. "I just like to look at the models and dream."

Joel turned his head to look at you, one brow raised. "Dream, huh?"

"Yup. I mean look at these bright fabrics and patterns. Can you imagine having a wardrobe with any of these colors in it?" You held up the page you were on, showing Joel the vibrant pink dress the model was wearing. It was a halter top with tight jeans and a flare at the end and the woman's long, dark hair cascaded down her shoulders. The image made you ache for a world that was long gone.

"God, I would kill for those jeans." You moaned.

"They're called bell bottoms." Joel corrected you.

You sat up, your mouth dropping open. "How did you know that?!"

He smirked at you, returning his gaze out the window. "I wasn't always an old man, ya know. I used to wear them back in the day."

"No shit?"

"No shit." He confirmed, chuckling a bit. "I was about ten when I wore 'em but those were the style back in the day. I think I had a pair in green."

You stared at him in amazement. "Can you imagine that? Green bell bottoms?"

Joel's face turned into a grimace. "More of my momma's fashion choice for Tommy and me."

You smiled fondly. "If I had a pair like these I'd stich them up and wear them out to the bar. I can't believe they made things like this."

Besides patrolling, you had also used your skills in the commune with clothing and it was no secret which one you preferred. You loved taking old, worn, and ragged pieces of clothing and fixing them up to give them a new life. The thought of being able to take something that was broken and give it new meaning and purpose was exciting and thrilling.

"You've got quite a talent, y'know. Those clothes you make look like you took them right outta the magazine." Joel said, glancing over at you. "You should be proud of yourself."

You smiled at him, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "Thanks, Joel. It's nice of you to say."

"Well, it's the truth."

The sound of a twig snapping approaching made the both of you jump. You sprung up and grabbed your gun. Joel was already at the door, looking out the window.

"What is it?" You asked, your hand steady on the gun.

"It's a damn deer." He said, shaking his head.

"Thank god." You sighed. You placed your gun down and joined him at the window, looking out to see the animal. The deer was grazing and seemed unconcerned about the two of you. You watched it move with a sense of tranquility and ease.

"You scared?"

You glanced up at him. His brow was creased and his lips were drawn. You realized this was the first time you'd ever been this close to Joel Miller. You took a moment to study his features. At first glance, his eyes, dark and deep, are the most captivating. They have the kind of depth that has his entire story - joy, sorrow, and everything in between. You've seen them twinkle with mischief specifically with Tommy and Ellie, and cold and impenetrable when talking to someone he doesn't particularly like.

He's got the faintest scars, a reminder of the life he lived before Jackson, and a smattering of freckles on his chest that are barely visible. You can see the fine wrinkles on his forehead and around his eyes and wonder how many times he's smiled in his lifetime and how many more smiles you could give him.

He calls your name. You shake your head, breaking yourself out of the fantasy. "No. Should I be?"

"Nah. Not with me here." He smiled.

Your stomach clenched, and you felt heat creep up the back of your neck. He kept his eyes on you, searching for a reaction.

"We should probably finish our watch." You said, tearing yourself away from the moment.

Joel stood there, unmoving. He was studying you. A silly little girl with a stupid crush, you thought. You could feel his stare but ignored it, picking up your weapon and returning to the couch.

"We should." He finally agreed.

And as much as you wanted to focus, you couldn't help but continue to study Joel when your nose wasn't in the magazine.

---------------

Joel should've known you weren't interested.

You were young, beautiful, talented, and easy-going. Even from the first day he was back in Jackson he could see the way people were drawn to you. When you walked up and talked to him for the first time he was surprised there were still people out there that were still so friendly and warm. He was so used to being the suspicious asshole, the guy who always had a plan and a reason for being, but not with you. You'd just come up and started chatting him up like he was one of your good friends, expecting nothing in return.

That's the thing about you that's always amazed him. You don't expect anything. He doesn't have to go out of his way to prove his worth to you or show you what a good man he can be. You just trust him.

When the two of you got closer than you ever had on that afternoon patrol, Joel felt a stirring in his gut he hadn't felt since Tess. The tightness in his pants was a sign, too. An unfortunate sign at the time you were supposed to be patrolling for clickers but a sign nonetheless. He'd noticed the way you'd looked at him as you watched the deer. He wasn't that old, yet. He could still recognize a spark when he saw it.

But he also saw the way other men in town looked at you. Men closer to your age, men with more to offer. Men without all the baggage and darkness and secrets. Men who could treat you right.

So, he buried the spark and kept you as his friend. It was better that way.

------------------

"Look alive, you old fucker." Tommy nudged Joel's arm, walking up to the abandoned house. They were doing a scouting mission in the outskirts of Jackson. There had been a small group of raiders spotted the night before by a patrol.

"I'm more than alive. I'm kicking your ass."

Tommy rolled his eyes, smiling. "Sure. Keep telling yourself that."

They both pulled out their guns, ready to clear the place.

"You ready?" Tommy whispered, nodding towards the door.

"Yep." Joel responded, grabbing the doorknob and opening it.

It was a pretty standard scene for a raider's camp. There were blood splatters on the floor, bullet casings, and empty cans everywhere. Joel had seen it many times before and he was certain Tommy had too.

"It's like a fucking pigsty." Tommy remarked, walking towards the stairs.

"No kiddin'." Joel responded, looking around. "I don't think anyone's here."

"Let's check the upstairs and then head home. I wanna tell Maria about this."

They checked each room upstairs. Most of the bedrooms were empty, except for one. The last room they had to check had the door locked.

"What's this?" Tommy said.

"Let's break it open." Joel suggested.

"No. We'll try to pick the lock."

"Fine." Joel said, crouching down and grabbing Ellie's bobby pin he always carried. "This won't take long."

Joel inserted the bobby pin into the keyhole, moving it around to jiggle the mechanism inside. After a minute or two he opened the door.

"Well, that's not what I was expectin'." Joel said.

"Were you expectin' blood and guts?" Tommy responded, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah, pretty much."

The brothers surveyed the bedroom. There was dust swirling in the air and a thick layer on every surface. It looked like the room had been abandoned for a while. A queen sized bed sat against the wall with a nightstand beside it. A dresser and a full length mirror were in the corner.

"We should still check everything out, just in case." Tommy motioned Joel into the room.

They searched the area and found nothing but the normal. They were almost done when Tommy found the closet.

"What do we have here?" He said, pulling the doors open.

"Just some clothes." Joel said.

"Looks like we've got a few treasures. What's that?" Tommy pointed at the back of the closet.

Joel pushed some clothes aside and a pair of jeans with a flair at the bottom fell to the ground. "Bell bottoms."

"Well, I'll be." Tommy smiled. "Do you remember these things?"

"Yeah." Joel replied, immediately remembering your conversation.

"What're those doing all the way out here?"

"Probably left behind by the original owners." Joel mused. Without hesitation, he grabbed the pants and tucked them under his arm.

Tommy turned and looked at him, his brow furrowing. "What're you doin' with those?"

"Gonna bring 'em home."

"To who?" Tommy had a shit-eating grin on his face. "Last time I checked those ain't really Ellie's style. I could think of someone who might be able to fix those up, though."

Joel's gaze shot to his brother. He glared at him. "Don't you dare."

Tommy raised his hands, surrendering. "All right, all right. I won't say a word. But I'm sure she'll love 'em. You could bring her a goddamn necklace full of teeth and she'd love it because it's from you."

Joel's heart raced at the implication. "What're you talkin' about?"

Tommy rolled his eyes. "Jesus Christ, Joel. Let's just get outta here so you can give her the goddamn pants."

------------------

Joel stood outside of the door to your house, the bell bottoms neatly folded in his hand. He could hear you rustling around inside and was nervous to knock.

"You can do this, old man." He told himself.

He knocked on the door, a quick rapping sound, and stepped back.

A second later, the door opened, and his face dropped. You hadn't answered the door. Instead, it was Nick, a tall, handsome young man who works at the stables. He had the kind of face that Joel used to see in cheesy teen movies he would bring Sarah to see. He had a strong jawline, sandy blonde hair, and broad shoulders. He looked at Joel and then down to the pants.

"Can I help you, Mr. Miller?"

Mr. Miller. Jesus Christ.

"Uh...." Christ and he couldn't even find his words. "I came by to uh..."

"Joel?" Your voice cut through his thoughts. He could see the confusion on Nick's face when you walked up. You smiled at Joel warmly, like a ray of sunshine. "Hi."

"Hey, darlin'." Joel smiled, his nerves disappearing.

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I was just bringing these by." He said, holding out the pants to you. "I, uh, found 'em and thought maybe you could work some of your magic."

Your face lit up. "These are bell bottoms! Are you serious? Where did you find these?"

Joel could feel the smirk tugging at his lips. "Out and about. Tommy and I cleared a place the other day and found 'em."

"Joel, this is incredible!" You looked at him, your face shining with excitement as you went in to hug him. He was frozen, the warmth and scent of your body enveloping him. "I can't wait to get started."

"I'm glad you're happy."

You pulled away, giving him a quick smile before turning back to Nick. Joel could see his face drop a bit, and his stomach tightened.

"You can keep them here and work on them tomorrow. We've got a dinner date tonight." Nick said, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close. Your eyes remained on Joel, though and your hands stayed at your sides.

Joel's chest ached. You were going on a date. With Nick. A boy, not a man. And not him.

"I, uh, don't want to hold ya'll up." Joel said, taking a step back. "Enjoy your night."

"Thanks, Joel." You said. He could feel you studying his face.

"Yes, thank you, sir." Nick added.

Joel nodded, turned, and walked away.

------------------

"....and then nobody else could catch that thing but there I was, deep into the lake with that fucking fish." Nick said, taking another sip of his drink. "I had no idea how I was gonna catch it but I couldn't let it go. So, I just dove in after it."

Nick was going on and on about some story that you couldn't even remember how it was brought up In the first place. You just knew Nick liked to talk about himself. A lot.

A lot of girls in Jackson had liked Nick. He was young, handsome, charming, and worked hard. He had the potential to be a catch for any single woman, but that didn't mean he was yours.

But then he showed up on your doorstep earlier that day with a charming smile and asked to come In. He'd told you he was interested in you and wanted to get to know you better. You were hesitant, especially considering the feelings you had for someone else, but you'd also remembered what had happened on your last patrol with Joel. You knew you couldn't compare with an older, sophisticated woman that might come his way one day. So, you accepted. What's the point in waiting on a fantasy?

You excused yourself to go to the bathroom when you'd heard someone knock on your door and Nick open it. You were annoyed at the immediate audacity he had to open your door without asking but then heard a familiar voice. Joel's.

You rushed out of the bathroom to see him standing there with fabric on his arm.

"These are bell bottoms!" You'd said excitedly. "Are you serious?"

And when you went to hug him, his body was tense and frozen. But the smell of him, a mix of pine and tobacco, filled your nostrils. And for a brief moment you'd imagined yourself pressed against his chest and kissing him.

That feeling only intensified when he looked at you. His face was a mixture of pain and jealousy and you realized that maybe he had felt something for you, too. But it was too late. He'd turned away and left.

It was the sweetest gesture and you couldn't even properly thank him because Nick had interrupted and ended the conversation about your date. You hated the way he slid his hand around your waist, it was such a gross power move. He acted like he owned you before he had even bothered to take you to dinner.

You tried to stay present with Nick but he wasn't making it easy. He had barely asked you about yourself, but you also were guilty of not engaging much.

"What do you think, doll?"

"What?" You snapped out of your thoughts, looking up at him. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"About the lake? The fish? The dive?"

"Oh." You'd said, a wave of relief coming over you. "Wow, that's a crazy story. I'm sure the whole lake was shocked."

"They sure were." He laughed.

You forced a smile, looking down at your half-eaten meal.

"You know, I think you're the most beautiful girl in Jackson...." Nick started as your eyes started to wander across the room. You kept scanning for Joel to see if he was coming to have dinner in the dining room but he wasn't there.

You kept looking around until you saw Ellie, she was saying something to Dina and laughing and then heading out.

"Ellie!" You called out. She turned around and smiled, walking over.

"Hey! What's up?" You looked at the plates she had wrapped up and her heart sank.

"Just saying hi. I see you're wearing the flannel I fixed up." You pointed out.

"Yep, I love it." Ellie smiled, holding her arms out to showcase it. "Thanks again. Joel was happy you helped."

"Where is he, by the way?" You tried to act as nonchalant as possible but you heard Nick scoff.

"He's at home, actually. He wasn't feeling too well so I'm gonna drop him off some food before I come back to hang with Dina and Jesse."

You frowned. "Oh."

"If you'll both excuse me, I gotta use the John." Nick said, standing up. Not even remotely pretending he was interested in the conversation.

"He seems like a keeper." Ellie deadpanned.

"The kind of boy you bring home to your mother." You rolled your eyes, and she snickered.

"Is there a reason you're asking about Joel?" Ellie inspected you. For someone who was so young, she had a knack on picking up on things like that. And she had absolutely no filter about it.

"No." You shrugged. "He was just at my place earlier and gave me some bell bottoms. I just wanted to check on him."

"Ooooh." Ellie's eyes sparkled with mischief.

"Stop." You said, glaring at her.

She turned her hands up in defense. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But all I'm gonna say is this, if you wanna check on him I don't think he's going anywhere all night and I'm sure he'd appreciate some company. Especially your company."

"Thanks, El." You beamed at her.

"Anytime. Enjoy the rest of your date."

You smiled, watching her leave the dining room.

Your stomach was still in knots and your nerves were going haywire, but you had made up your mind. You were going to visit Joel.

When you got up to talk to Nick and you saw him leaning down on another table to talk to another girl, It was clear he had made up his mind too.

-----------------

Joel strummed his guitar on the front porch, a glass of whiskey sitting beside him. His leftover plate from Ellie was next to him.

He had decided to eat at home instead of eating in the dining room because he couldn't deal with the embarrassment of seeing you again, especially across the table from another man.

So, he ate and played his guitar and drank his whiskey.

It was starting to get dark, and the stars were becoming visible. Joel was trying to focus on the stars instead of thinking about you. But it was hard, especially when he could hear the laughter and conversations going on in town.

He picked his guitar back up and started to strum.

Bell bottom blues, you made me cry

I don't want to lose this feeling

And if I could choose a place to die

It would be in your arms

He continued to sing, closing his eyes and focusing on the song.

I don't want to fade away

Give me one more day, please

I don't want to fade away

In your heart I want to stay

"Nice song."

Joel straightened up and peered out into the darkness. He saw you walking up towards his porch, a shy smile on your face.

"Didn't mean to interrupt." You said, climbing the stairs. He couldn't help but notice how beautiful you looked, even in the dim light. You had your hair down and a thin sweater covering a flowy dress. He could make out the shape of your body and the curves of your breasts, and the way the dress fell at your hips. He cursed himself for noticing and then cursed the fact that his cock stirred when he did.

"You're not." He said, standing up and putting his guitar down. "How was your date?"

You sat down next to him, taking a sip of his whiskey while rolling your eyes.

"Well, he talked a lot. I talked a little. He was rude and didn't ask about me. And I was really distracted."

Joel grunted in acknowledgment and continued to strum as the two of you fell into a warm silence.

"What's the song you're playing?" You asked.

Joel took a deep sigh. He knew once he told you, it was over. He couldn't lie to you.

But fuck It, he'd had some whiskey and it was now or never.

"The song is called 'Bell Bottom Blues', actually."

"Interesting." You mused, leaning back in your chair. "What's the song about?"

Joel stopped strumming. He looked at you, and you were staring at him.

"It's about a guy who has this woman. He knows that they could be great together. She makes him feel happy and good, and everything that a man wants. But the problem is, she doesn't want him."

"Well, that's depressing as shit."

"Yeah." He chuckled, his heart heavy. "It's depressing, but it's also true."

"So, she doesn't love him."

"Right."

"But why doesn't she love him?"

"Because he's old. He's not her type. And he's just a grumpy sonofabitch."

"Who wrote this song?"

"Eric Clapton."

"Well, did this Eric Clapton guy know he wasn't her type or did he just assume she thought he was a grumpy sonofabitch?"

"He assumed."

"Okay. So, maybe the girl is just confused."

"Or maybe she's just not attracted to him."

"I don't know about that. I'd be attracted to a man like that. If he was honest with me and treated me right. That's the important part."

"Yeah, I guess so." Joel replied, his heart racing.

"You guess so? You're an interesting man, Joel Miller."

"I've been told." He smirked, taking another sip of his whiskey. "So, why did you come here?"

You stared at him, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

"Well, I came here to properly thank you but now that I'm here I think I'll just drink some more of your whiskey and listen to you play more about how wrong this Eric Clapton is."

Joel laughed. He looked at you and saw the warmth radiating from your face. He couldn't believe his luck.

"Whatever the lady wants."

"The lady does indeed want." You beamed, and Joel got up and opened the door inside, leading you in.

"All right, darlin', come on in."

--------------------

After a few more glasses of whiskey, you were feeling warmer and relaxed.

Shyness had gone completely out of the window and you were curled up next to Joel, a blanket over the two of you as he strummed the guitar. You were close enough that his knee was against yours. You could feel the heat between you and it made your head spin.

You leaned into him and rested your head against his shoulder. He smelled so good, and the warmth of his body radiated onto yours.

"I'm glad I'm here." You whispered.

"I'm glad you're here, too."

"Joel...Do you think I'm like the girl in the song?"

Joel paused. He put the guitar down and turned to you.

"Well, first of all, you're not a girl." He whispered, his voice low in your ear. "You're a woman."

You closed your eyes, feeling a shiver run down your spine.

"And secondly, I don't think you're anything like the girl in the song. At least, I hope not."

"I'm not." You assured him, your voice soft.

"Then why did you ask?"

"I just want to make sure you're not writing me off because of a song. I'm not some immature girl. I like the way I feel around you, and I'm not afraid to tell you anymore."

"Anymore, huh?" Joel asked. He moved his hand, placing it on your hand. You could feel the warmth and roughness of his palm. "So, if I were to kiss you, would that scare you away?"

"Not at all." You whispered, turning to him. Your eyes met and you could see the fire behind his. You'd seen that fire before, but never so close.

"Good."

Joel placed his hands on your cheeks and brought his lips to yours. Your body stung with excitement and you melted into him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

His beard tickled your skin, but the softness of his lips against yours made your body ache. You kissed the open patches in his beard you had daydreamed about kissing and ran your hands through his hair.

There was no chasteness in your kiss, thanks to the whiskey. Instead, you slipped your tongue into Joel's mouth as he groaned.

He pulled back for a moment, staring at you.

"This is not what I thought would happen." He admitted.

"Me neither." You grinned. "Should we stop? What time is Ellie coming home?"

"She's stayin' the night with Dina actually."

"Well, if that's the case. I should really thank you properly for that gift you showed up with."

Joel's eyes lit up.

"I'll accept whatever thank yous you have."

"I bet you will."

You straddled him, looking down at him as he kept his hands safely on your waist. You could tell he was restraining himself, always the gentleman, but you were tired of holding back how you felt.

You kissed him, hard, and bit his lip, eliciting a groan from him.

"Fuck." He growled, his fingers digging into your waist, pulling you down further onto his lap as you felt his hardening cock against you. You grinded down onto him, and fell into a rhythm while you kissed him and he gripped your waist tighter.

You removed your cardigan and Joel's hands instantly moved up your torso, toying with your straps.

"Joel...it's okay." You grabbed his hand and removed your dress straps with him. Your dress fell, revealing your breasts, and Joel's eyes darkened with an intensity he'd only saved for a hunt. You felt like his prey, and it only made you more aroused.

Joel's hand came up, gently cupping your breasts.

"You're so fuckin' beautiful." He murmured, rubbing his thumbs over your nipples. The sensation shot right to your pussy and your hips continued to move in reaction.

You started to undo the buttons on his shirt, and he helped, throwing it to the side. You pulled him closer, feeling his hot chest against yours, his muscles tense and his arms around you. You kissed his neck, and his collarbone, and then kissed his chest.

You could hear his heavy breathing as you trailed your hands down his torso and his cock strained against his jeans.

"Joel." You whispered, moving off him to kneel in front of him.

"You don't have to." He said, looking at you with a pained expression. You could tell he was still trying to be a gentleman and hold back, but you were done holding back with how much you wanted him.

"I want to. I want you." You said as you slipped his jeans off. His erection was prominent through his boxers and you could see the wetness at the tip of his cock.

Joel let out a soft groan, watching you take off his boxers. His cock sprang free, and he hissed as the cool air hit him.

You had been guilty of spending nights thinking about what Joel Miller would feel like on top of you, inside you and in your mouth. But nothing could prepare you for the real thing.

His cock was thick, a beautiful length with a slight curve. Precum was leaking from his tip, and you wrapped your hands around his base, stroking him up and down.

"Jesus." Joel groaned. You felt his hand reach out, gently grabbing the back of your head and guiding you closer. You licked the precum off his tip and he moaned.

You licked down his length and then took his cock into your mouth. Joel's breath caught, and his fingers tightened in your hair.

"That feels so good." He said, his voice gravelly and low. You took more of him in your mouth, swirling your tongue around his head and hollowing out your cheeks. Joel's hand pushed down a little harder and he let out a moan.

"Am I bein' too rough?" Joel asked with concern.

You looked up at him with full eye contact, your pupils blown. You started to ease his cock further into your mouth until you could feel his tip at your throat. You stayed there, and then started to move slowly up and down, the pressure from your tongue making Joel gasp.

"Jesus Christ, girl." He whispered, and then he started to push his hips upward, meeting you as you bobbed on his cock. His thrusts became faster, and his breath caught in his throat. You could tell he was getting close and you wanted nothing more than to feel him lose control in your mouth.

Suddenly, Joel's hand left the back of your head, and his cock left your mouth. You looked up at him with a dazed expression and watched as he stood up.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothin' is wrong." He growled. "Take off your dress and get on the couch."

You got up and slowly peeled off the rest of your clothes, his eyes never left your body. You saw his chest rise and fall with each breath as the two of you stood for a moment, studying each other's naked bodies.

Joel stepped forward and kissed you, hard. His tongue found yours and you tangled together, tasting each other. He grabbed your ass and pulled you closer to him, his cock pushing against you.

"Get on the couch, baby." He ordered, his voice gruff. "Let me fuck you."

You lay down on the couch, spreading your legs. You had been dripping wet since you'd first straddled him, and now, it was dripping down your thighs and you couldn't help but run your fingers through it.

"Fuck. You are so goddamn beautiful." He said, his voice a low grunt. He knelt down and took a finger, running it through your wetness and then pushing it inside of you.

You gasped, the sensation of his thick finger hitting you differently than your own. He pushed a second finger inside of you, feeling an overwhelming stretch.

"You're so fuckin' tight. I gotta make sure you can take me." He said, pushing his fingers deeper inside you and curling them up. You gasped, arching your back as his fingers hit a spot inside of you that you can't normally reach.

You bucked your hips towards him. "I used to dream about what your fingers would feel like inside of me."

"Is that right, baby?" Joel asked. He added a third finger and the pressure was almost unbearable, he moved at a faster pace and the sounds of his fingers pushing in and out of your wetness were filling the room.

"I'm so close." You whined, bucking your hips against him. But he could feel it, he could feel your tightness clenching around his fingers.

He positioned himself quickly to lean in and suck on your clit. It was gentle, and his beard brushed against the skin around it. It was the final thing to send you over the edge, and you came hard.

"Joel." You moaned as you reached your climax, arching your back and riding his fingers. You could feel the wave of pleasure rolling over you as you gripped his hair. He slowed his pace and then pulled his fingers out, wiping his face.

"Did I do okay?" He asked, looking at you, and you saw the softness behind his eyes.

"You did better than okay. Take me to your bedroom?"

Joel nodded, picking you up and carrying you upstairs.

-------------------------

Joel laid you down gently on his bed and stood, looking down at you, stroking his cock.

He climbed on top of you and leaned down to kiss you. You could feel his hard cock against your stomach.

"Are you ready, darlin'?" He whispered in your ear, nibbling your lobe.

"Mmm, please." You murmured, lifting your hips towards him.

Joel grabbed his cock and rubbed his head along your wetness. He pushed it inside of you, slowly, and groaned.

"Fuck, you're tight." He muttered, his body stiffening. He eased himself in further, the stretch of his cock was intense, but the feeling of fullness was unlike anything you'd ever experienced.

You felt him start to move his hips and you arched your back, taking him deeper as you opened your legs wider.

You could feel him deep inside you, hitting that same spot he'd touched earlier. Your hips bucked against his and the sound of the slapping of his hips against yours echoed in the room.

He was breathing heavily and his eyes were half-closed.

"You're so tight. Jesus Christ, you feel so good." He moaned. "Like you were meant to take my cock."

"I want it all." You whimpered, grabbing his ass to pull him closer. "I want it deep."

"God damn, baby." Joel grabbed your legs and placed them over his shoulders, giving him a better angle to thrust deeper. He slammed into you and the feeling of him against the back of your walls and the way his pubic bone pressed against your clit made you gasp.

"You wanted it deep like this?" He growled, his grip on your thighs tightening, the slapping of your skin and your moans getting louder.

"Yes." You gasped, feeling yourself reaching another climax. "Oh fuck, I'm cumming again."

You felt your walls tighten around his cock, and he moved down to press his thumb on your clit. He pressed and swirled his thumb against you, and the sensation was overwhelming. You came hard, moaning and writhing beneath him.

He slowed his thrusts as you rode out your orgasm.

"Fuck, I can feel you cummin' all over my cock." He murmured, his voice low. "It feels so fuckin' good. It feels so fuckin' good, darlin'. You're gonna make me cum."

His thrusts were becoming sloppy and frantic, and his breathing was coming faster. You were so sensitive and each thrust made your body twitch.

Neither of you had said it but you had both had the desire to have him cum inside you. You wanted to feel all of him and the thought of him filling you with his cum while you looked like a pornstar underneath him turned Joel on more than he'd like to admit.

"Cum in me." You pleaded, and that was enough. Joel's head fell back and he moaned, his body twitching.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." He said, slowing his thrusts as his cum dripped down his cock and into you. You could feel him cumming, his cum hot and thick inside of you.

He stayed still for a few moments, the room filled with the sound of the two of you catching your breaths. Then he slowly pulled out, watching as his cum mixed with yours, dripping out of you and onto his sheets.

In one final move, he took two fingers and took your dripping cum to thrust it back inside of you.

You watched him, dazed and exhausted. He got up, panting and dazed and left the room for a few moments. When he returned, he had your clothes in one hand, and a towel and a glass of water in the other.

He placed your clothes on the floor and handed you the water. You gulped it down while he cleaned you off. You winced a bit, feeling the warm washcloth between your legs and Joel looked up at you with concern.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked, his voice low.

"Not in a bad way." You grinned.

Joel smirked and lay down next to you, pulling the blanket over the two of you. He put an arm around you and pulled you into him.

You rested your head on his chest and ran your fingers along the grooves of his muscles.

"I think this was a better gift than the bell bottoms." You joked.

Joel laughed and kissed the top of your head.

"I don't know, I did go through a raider camp for those jeans. That was pretty heroic and dangerous."

"Yes, Joel Miller, you are a hero in the name of fashion." You yawned, nestling into him. You could hear the steady beating of his heart and felt his chest rising and falling with his breathing.

You closed your eyes and were starting to drift off when Joel's voice brought you back.

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for comin' over and doing somethin' I was too chicken shit on doing for a long time."

You smiled.

"Don't worry, I'm here to do the things we're both scared to do. You just have to promise to keep the whiskey and the bell bottoms comin'."

"It's a deal." Joel kissed your head again and pulled you in closer.

You drifted off to sleep, content and safe in Joel's arms. Finally feeling the relief and acceptance of what you had tried to ignore for so long.

And the feeling of Joel's arms around you felt more like home than you could ever imagine.

#joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller #the last of us smut #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller x f!reader #tlou hbo #hbo tlou #the last of us #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you

[sonamytrash]

Midnight, part two

Underground Virgin!Levi x Virgin!Femreader

MDNI

Warnings: y/n used, Childhood friends to lovers, fluff, smut, puberty mentioned, masturbation mentioned, fingering, sex, mentions of abuse, mentions of rape, mentions of prostitution, creampie, orgasm, characters ages aren't mentioned, but it's suggested they're both in their late teens, of age when writing but could be interpreted as underage? Virgin levi, virgin reader. Not proofread.

Note: Wow, thanks for the love, guys! Here's part two, hope you enjoy.

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He's experienced a lot in his short life. But interactions of the romantic kind aren't something he's familiar with. Despite his his feelings for you and innocent exchanges of affection here and there, he really isn't sure where to start. Levi breathes in deeply and exhales, trying to collect his thoughts.You wanted to be intimate with him. You wanted him to be your first. He could only thank the heavens for the opportunity to show you how much you mean to him, to show you the very least of what you deserve. To be loved, cherished, and worshipped.

Levi pulls you close to him on the bed, his arms wrapped around you as he leans closer, and your lips are practically brushing against each other. "I'd do anything for you, you know that, right?"

Your hand still resting against his cheek, you scan his face for any signs of reluctantly. Both of you lean into one another, and finally your lips meet for the first time.

Levi can feel your warm hand on his chest, making his body tingle every time it brushes against his skin. His breath grows increasingly heavier, and his heart rate starts to rise as his hand slowly moves down your arm and makes its way to your hips.

You tug his shirt over his head before he does the same to yours and returns to your embrace. The kiss is messy and irrepressible. Both of you are absolutely desperate for the taste of one another after pining so long. 

The kiss never wavers as he pushes you down onto the bed and crawls on top of you. He's enjoying the feeling of your body beneath him. Your little moans and mewls encouraged him to go further, as he started slowly moving his hands down your body, his breath growing heavier with every move.

Levi's body aches for you as you touch and trace your fingers over his muscles. He continues to kiss you as your hands explore his body, the body that has kept you safe for all these years, the body you have stolen glances at given any opportunity, the body that you ache for. His grip on your hip gets firmer as he enjoys your every movement, every touch, and every kiss you bestow upon him.

Both of your bodies are in an incredible state of arousal. You attempt to speak up to tell him how you've felt all this time. Even in this intimate moment, you can't quite find the words, even after having just been so bold. You feel a bit embarrassed about your lack of experience, but you're determined to push through, determined to share this moment with him. There's nobody in this world who makes you feel safer.

Levi's eyes shift to yours as he pauses shortly to speak. Seeing that you're struggling.

"You don't have to tell me with words, I know exactly how you feel. I'm nervous, too. I've never done this before either."  He tells you shyly, you smile and nod. "I trust you, Levi." He smiles."Just tell me if anything hurts or you want me to stop, okay?."

He caresses the side of your face. Enjoying every moment of intimacy. Your bodies are already communicating past what you can or can't coherently say. He trails his hand over your breast, gently taking your nipple between his fingers as he begins to suck on the other. You moan at the new and different sensations on each of your nipples. "Levi..." You're moan breathlessly.

"You're beautiful," he says, his voice low. "Let me make you feel good." He says as his mouth returns to your erect nipple. You nod, feeling a sense of excitement and anticipation building within you. You had wanted this for so long. Fucked yourself silly on your fingers night after night at the thought of him. Never able to fully satisfy your desires.

Levi's fingers reach down to your drenched underwear, he rubs his fingers over the fabric and smirks at the thought of making you this aroused, before he moves the garment to one side, feeling your wet slit, he groans as he moves one of his fingers over your clit, caressing the swollen nub gently, eliciting another moan from your lips. As Levi touches you, you feel a surge of pleasure run through your body. You throw your head back, letting out a louder moan as he continues. He looks into your eyes, "Is this okay? Does it feel good?" He asks, your pleasure being his only priority in this moment. You nod, "Yes" you breathe, "It feels good." You mewl as he toys with your clit applying more pressure, before he slowly inserts a finger into your tight heat, you gasp. They're longer than your own, your pussy sucks his finger in, twitching around his digit at the newfound feeling and depth. He moans in suprise at the wet and warm sensation around his finger as he returns to sucking one of your nipples, hunger and desire burning within him as he slowly moves his finger inside of you, when he adds another finger you bite your lip, adjusting to the feeling of a second digit. He moves them rhythmically as he uses his thumb to rub your clit. He had no idea that a womens body would twitch and move around him like this, he gets excited at the thought of how you're going to feel around his cock, trying to ressist the urge to almost dry hump the air as he focuses on only your pleasure for now. He knows the first time can be painful for women. He doesn't want to hurt you, so he's determined to make the process as enjoyable as possible. It doesn't take long for you to feel a familiar knot in your stomach, something you had been able to achieve alone but never this quickly or intense. "Levi, I'm-" you moan as you push your hips up into his fingers as he picks up the pace, he removes his mouth from your nipple and comes up to kiss along your jaw and encourage you "Cum for me, y/n." You squeak delightfully as you come around his fingers, your body shaking from the intensity of the orgasm as he guides you through. He keeps going until you grab his wrist, needing a second from the overstimulation. Levi watches in amazement as you cum around his fingers. He can feel every twitch and spasm, a sense of pride washes over him at having brought you such pleasure. But he wants to see so, so much more of that cute little fucked out face you've just made.

Leaning down to kiss you deeply once more, he smiles. "You did great, such a good girl." He says reassuringly as he removes your drenched underwear and looks over your body. Living in the underground, it isn't the first time he has seen a woman in the nude. However, gazing over the form of someone you love in such an intimate moment is something that he can't describe, something so much more erotic. Your body is so perfect that it's almost like it could've been sculpted by the gods. As you recover from your orgasm and begin to touch him, he can't resist looking at your flushed face, his equally as red giving a slight moan as he reacts to your touch. You trail your hands down to the waistband of his underwear, "Can I?" You ask him, looking into his eyes seductively, he nods. He lets out a shaky breath as you trace your fingers along the trail of hair from his navel to the waistband of his underwear, where it becomes thicker. Anticipation builds within him at the thought of being with you in this way. With need, he guides your hand to his cock, eager to feel your touch there. His breathing is already ragged, his heart pounding in his chest as he anticipates what is to come. He hisses feeling your hand against him through the fabric, before you free his cock from the confinement of his underwear. Your eyes widen as you run your fingers over his length. You internally contemplated how this thing was supposed fit inside you. Levi must have sensed your concern "It'll be fine." He reassures you, struggling to concentrate at the mercy of your touch. As much as he wanted to feel your hands or even mouth around him, he knew he'd never last if things went in that direction. There would be another time, having come this far, of that he was certain.

He enjoys the sensation of you stroking him for a few moments, though, before he tries to read your expression, "Do you want to continue?" He asks nervously. You smile, meeting his gaze and nodding. "Yes." You say seductively. He pulls you in for another kiss as he positions himself at your entrance, slowly rubbing his cock against your dripping wet slit, covering himself in your essence. You both moan into the kiss, the whole situation is so erotic that your mind can only comprehend the sensation of his movements against you, all you want is him to take you. He takes one of your hands and squeezes it tightly as he begins to enter you, the tip of his cock glistening with precum as he moves.

Levi thrusts slowly into you, inch by inch, groaning with pleasure as he feels your virgin pussy clamping down around him. You whimper under him, your nails digging into his shoulders with your free hand as you try to adjust to the alien but welcome feeling of having him inside you. It hurts but it isn't unbearable. Your other hand entwined with his as you both experience this moment together.

Levi tries to be gentle, knowing that it's your first time, but he can't help the intensity of his desire and fights the urge to start thrusting inside you, your tightness and warmth enveloping him completely. Surely, he was in heaven. Nothing on this earth had ever been kind or good to him until there was you. The fact that this was unravelling now between the both of you was unreal.

You look into his eyes, your own completely glazed over with lust. "It's okay, you can move. I'm alright." You say breathlessly.

He moves slowly at first, using your expressions as his guide. His thrusts grow deeper and more forceful with each moment. He captures your lips again passionately, needing to be as close to you as physically possible.

You moan loudly, feeling a sense of pleasure spreading through you as Levi takes you to new heights of ecstasy. You arch your back under him, wrapping your legs around his waist as you try to take him even deeper.

Levi responds, thrusting harder and harder into you with each passing moment. You feel like you're going to explode with pleasure, and you can't help but cry out his name repeatedly as he fills you up with his cock.

The sound of your skin slapping together fills the room as he moves inside you, the intensity between you both, only growing with each passing moment. Your pleasure builds with each of his thrusts, and soon you're both rambling sweet nothings to one another, your bodies writhing together blissfully.

He's delirious with the wet embrace of your pussy sucking him in, the feeling of your walls constricting around his cock almost too much. He knows that you're close to cumming again, he can feel your pussy quivering around him. He moans loudly with you, your tight hole squeezing him as you scream his name. His lips crash down on your own. With one final thrust, he feels his cock pulsing inside of you as he reaches his own orgasm, he lets out a loud groan into the kiss, spilling his seed inside you. Neither of you in the right frame of mind to consider any of the consequences right now. You feel a sense of warmth spreading through you as he finishes. Both of you have a tight grip on one another as you ride out your high. He collapses on top of you, panting heavily as he tries to catch his breath. The room is filled with nothing but the sounds of heavy breathing, the smell of sex and sweat permeates the air.

"I love you, y/n." He says breathlessly in your ear. You trail your fingers over the back of his head, feeling the contrast of longer hairs and his undercut. "I love you too, Levi."

@mei-mei01

#levi smut #levi attack on titan #captain levi x reader #levi aot #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman x y/n smut #friends to lovers #aot smut #fanfiction smut #aot x reader #reader insert #virgin reader #shameless smut

[gloomy0x0phantom]

Straw Hat Pirates ☆ Sexuality, relationship

Hi there! It's my first time posting a headcanon, I'm so nervous! English is not my first language, I use a translator, so don't hesitate to correct me and if you like what I write, I'd love a little comment~ ✧ these headcanons are related to the manga/anime. I have different headcanons for x readers (●'◡'●)

tw : mention of sex, genital, masturbation

Monkey D. Luffy ☆ Demisexual

✧ At first, I wrote that Luffy is an aromatic asexual, but after finishing his part, I realized it didn't work. I was thinking he is clueless all the time, that he had no interest in sex, borderline disgusted by it, but... no? ✧ Luffy loves sex, he just hasn't discovered it yet! ✧ Unsurprisingly, he's never been in a relationship and isn't looking for one. He's married to the adventure and the one piece ✧ Luffy is completely lost when it comes to love, romance, sex, relationships... Don't get me wrong, in friendship he's the best friend you could ever wish to have, but being in love with him is a real pain in the ass. Boa Hancock is the proof, poor thing. At the same time, falling in love with a 17-year-old when she was 29, uh... that's her problem. ✧ Chopper and Robin tried to explain the whole act of lovemaking, how babies are created, why he sometimes wakes up with an erection - in short, the basics of attraction, sex and hormones. It was a failure. Luffy understands the words spoken to him, but is unable to see why it concerns him. My boi feels nothing 99.9% of the time. ✧ Chopper wanted to continue the conversation, but Robin suddenly realised what was going on. "Luffy, when you see breasts or a penis, muscles and butts, does your body get hot? Does it make you feel very happy and excited?" "Nah." ✧ The whole crew "knows" his sexuality, they all think Luffy is asexual, but it's not their fault, even him thinks he's completely asexual. ✧ He doesn't jerk off. He's more excited about the One Piece than naked humans and I totally get it. ✧ When the Straw Hats talk about love and potential future partners, it bores their captain to no end. People have tried to figure out what Luffy is looking for in a partner, but it's all a blur to him. ✧ Luffy is passionate, he always gives his all in everything he does, he's ready to die for his dream and his friends, he prioritizes the One Piece and his crew. He wants a partner who's like him and shares the same values. And who can cook!

Roronoa Zoro ☆ Demisexual, gay

✧ Zoro knows he's gay, but he doesn't know he's demisexual. ✧ To be honest, Zoro doesn't know when he discovered his sexuality. He's always had a thing for strong spirits, bodies shaped by hours of training, solid values and someone who can take care of themselves in a fight. A woman can very well have these traits, but they're not the ones who capture the swordsman's attention. ✧ Zoro is not familiar with the various terms of the LGBTQ+ community, pronouns, gender, it's a very abstract concept to him and above all, useless. He doesn't understand why people try to put a label on their foreheads and put themselves in a box. You're straight? Ok. You're gay? Cool. You were born in a man's body, but you're a woman? All right. He doesn't give a shit what you've got between your legs or what you like (unless it's illegal). ✧ It's no secret that he's gay, but he doesn't talk about it openly. He embraces who he is, but he doesn't want to discuss it. What he likes and what he wants is nobody's business but his own. ✧ He's never expressed his orientation and preferences out loud, but he's sure Nami, Robin, Brook and Franky know. ✧ He's never been in a relationship. ✧ He had two one-night stands, only to discover that it wasn't enjoyable. Yes, the act itself was okay, only because he was emptying his balls into a hole and not into his hand, but the experience was never fun enough to make him want to do it again. ✧ When he fucked strangers, Zoro felt disconnected from the act. His body moved, but his head was empty, as if he were on autopilot. He wanted it to be over as quickly as possible and to leave without ever seeing the man again. After what he considers two failures, Zoro has simply crossed the possibility of sleeping with a stranger off his list. ✧ He knows he'd like a partner who knows him from A to Z. He doesn't want to waste his time with someone who might drop him after a few years. ✧ Zoro doesn't consider himself a romantic, but... ideally... in a perfect world... he'd like to find his soulmate and die by his side.

Nami ☆ Lesbian

✧ I'm sorry, but this girl NEVER liked men. ✧ She was the little girl who didn't want to play with baby dolls and was disgusted by the idea of marrying a boy. "Boy? ew!!!" ✧ When she lost her mother and joined Arlong, her hatred for men increased x1000. From then on, she was surrounded by men 24/7, and subconsciously, the words pirates and men became linked. Luckily, Luffy arrived and helped Nami out of her predicament. But strangely enough, her distaste for men never went away. Her prejudices are still as strong. ✧ It's silly, but Nami is the kind of person who realized her sexuality one night before bed. Like, "Oh. I like chicks. Cool." and fell asleep without ever thinking about it again. ✧ She accepts her love for women, but she does NOT want the world to know. Her friends ok, but their allies, the government and their enemies? Nop nop nop. ✧ Anything to do with her person, she prefers to keep a mystery. Why ? Because she doesn't want this information to be treated as a weakness. ✧ Nami is terrified of love. ✧ One day, she'd like to abandon herself in a woman's arms and experience true love, but she doesn't want to relive what happened with her mother. Losing someone dear to her, Nami doesn't think she could survive this misfortune a second time. ✧ As soon as Nami senses that she's developing a crush, she goes into sabotage mode and ends the relationship, forcing herself to forget her feelings, regardless of whether it hurts or not. It's her way of protecting her heart, but also the other person. ✧ She's the most sensitive of the crew and probably the one who'll suffer the most in terms of love. ✧ Her knees go weak when she meets a warm, maternal, smiling, strong and loyal woman. ✧ Nojiko suspects that her sister is a lesbian, but they've never discussed it. Nami is afraid her sister won't accept her, even though she knows it's totally ridiculous and that Nojiko only wants her happiness. ✧ Gazing at the stars one night, Nami opened up to Vivi and confessed her secret. Vivi reassured her that her confidence would be safe, and not to worry about her secret seeing the light of day. Vivi admits that she has never kissed anyone else. They shared a sweet kiss under the moon, their first, but not their last. ✧ Nami had hoped Vivi would stay with the Straw Hat crew, but... she's a princess and her kingdom needs her. Nami didn't allow herself to deal with the separation properly; she felt stupid for falling for a princess. ✧ While she was secretly crying one evening, Usopp joined her and comforted her, even though he didn't know why she was sad. He suspected it had something to do with Vivi, and he was right. After a long hour of silence and tears, Nami explained the situation to Usopp, who gave her a big hug. He explained that he understood how she felt, that leaving Kaya so suddenly had affected him and that he still missed her every day. Then that he felt foolish for falling for a girl so smart and rich, when he's nothing compared to her... After that moment, Nami and Usopp grew closer and share a unique bond.

Usopp ☆ Kayasexual Heterosexual

✧ This man has never questioned his sexuality. He loves women and he knows it, he's never doubted it. ✧ He's so comfortable with his orientation that he's not afraid to kiss and cuddle his best friends. ✧ TIME SPENT WITH THE BOYS IS IMPORTANT AND TREASURED. ✧ You know that person who is always touching his friends ass, and is borderline intimate with them, but 100% straight? Yeah, that's Usopp. ✧ He loves to piss Sanji off by kissing his cheeks and complimenting him in a very unsubtle way. "Oh Sanji, can you open this pickle jar with your so muscular arms?" "Oh you're so strong, so sexy, what would I do to have a brave knight like you?" "Oh no Sanji, I'm stuck, can you help me please? 🥺" Sanji hates him. ✧ He's never been in a relationship, but he's in love with Kaya. ✧ When he left Syrup Village, he thought he only loved her as a friend, but with distance and time... he realized that his feelings were a little stronger than friendship. He doesn't know if she loves him back and he thinks about it at least twice a day. Nami tried to reassure him, even though she's not 100% sure if the girl likes him, but how do you comfort a big scaredy-cat like Usopp? It's an impossible task. ✧ He's a virgin and he's not afraid to say it, he considers it nothing to be ashamed of. On the other hand, he masturbates whenever the opportunity arises, which he's a ashamed. He fantasizes about the day when Kaya and he will be reunited, their wedding, generally cute and intimate scenarios, he feels too guilty to imagine any other woman. ✧ Even if the chance presents itself to sleep with someone, he doesn't want to. He's saving himself for Kaya. ✧ If Kaya meets another man or doesn't share Usopp's feelings, he'll suffer for years. Please, he's pathetic and unable to move on. And rebuild his self-esteem? I swear, he'd rather die than live that reality. ✧ Usopp lies constantly, so when people ask him who Kaya is, oh boy, his description sounds downright like a lie, but it's not. He described her as a beautiful goddess straight from heaven, a delicate blonde with the most beautiful smile, a heart of gold, a perfect body... you and I both know that's no lie.

Sanji ☆ Bisexual (doesn’t accept it yet)

✧ I wrote Sanji last because oh boy, he's a disaster. I must point out that I'm in Dressrosa in the manga. So anything to do with Sanji's childhood, I don't talk about it.  ✧ We all know that Sanji loves women, it's not even a question. ✧ But men, hmm? hmmmmmm ? ✧ Sanji has always been a woman's man, admiring them from near and far, respecting them (while being a huge pervert) and dreaming of being stepped on by them. ✧ He's said to be in love with all the beautiful women in the world, but he's a little unsettled when a woman reciprocates his feelings. When a woman loves him back, he is almost... disappointed. He doesn't know how to react, so he goes with the flow and continues to compliment the woman in question, but deep down he feels awfully empty. This emptiness is made up of doubt, disappointment, fear and incomprehension. ✧ Does she really love me? No, she can't. She doesn't. I don't love her. I can't offer her what she's looking for, she can't satisfy all my needs. She only returns my feelings because I've made her believe I love her, but I don't. She's beautiful, but she hasn't got my heart, she's not for me. We're not compatible, what I feel for her isn't real, it's just a bunch of lies. She'll suffer with me, I might lose her, I'll suffer and she'll lose me. ✧ When he worked at Baratie, Sanji slept with a few women after closing time. All were pleasurable and positive experiences, but purely carnal. ✧ One evening, while he was a waiter, a young lady responded positively to his advances and a few hours later, they ended up kissing in a hallway. After a long make-out session, the woman gently pushed Sanji away. "Before we continue, I must warn you, I..." "Yes, ma douce?" (my sweet) After a moment's hesitation, Sanji noticed that the woman was lost in thought and didn't look well. "We can stop if you-" She took Sanji's hand and placed it on her crotch, where Sanji could clearly feel an erection. Surprise flashed across the blond's eyes and for a moment, his brain shut down. Seeing the cook's lack of response, the woman was hurt and tried to push him away, before he tackled her against a wall and kissed her forcefully, but passionately. His hand continued to caress the erection without thinking too much about the implication. He has a dick too, so... it shouldn't be much different, should it? The evening was perfect and left Sanji with many questions, but also a feeling of satisfaction. ✧ After this one-night stand, Sanji began to question his sexual preferences and became curious. If he enjoyed sleeping with a trans woman, would he enjoy sleeping with a... no. No, no and no. Impossible. Men are disgusting compared to women... but... ✧ To confirm his doubt, he slept with a man and didn't like the experience... Okay that's a lie, he loved it. All the new sensations he felt, he couldn't forget. But he told himself that it was probably an exception, that he'd had too much to drink (he hadn't) and that, in short, he was never going to sleep with a man again. Once again, a lie. ✧ When Sanji joined the Straw Hat Pirates, he didn't have the opportunity to sleep around like at the Baratie, but his existential crisis didn't stop. ✧ He couldn't help noticing Zoro working out. His muscles, his smell, his sweat… Usopp's hair, his long fingers, his back… Franky's speedo, his hairy legs, his abs… ✧ He was able to keep a low profile and not overly observe the other men in the crew, but after the timeskip? Not only had Nami and Robin become even more beautiful, but the men? More muscles, more hormones! ✧ Then his time on Momoiro Island only confused him even more about his sexuality... ✧ Deep down, Sanji loves men as much as women, but he hopes no one knows. ✧ Zoro knows it, Nami, Usopp, Brook, Franky and Robin suspect it.

Tony Tony Chopper ☆ Heterosexual

✧ Chopper loves reindeer women! ✧ Of all the members of the group, Chopper was the only one to forbid himself to think about love. He thought that love wasn't for a monster like him. He accepts his physique and his identity, but being surrounded by humans has led him to believe that he couldn't have a girlfriend, that it was an absurd idea. ✧ As Chopper traveled the oceans with the Straw Hat Pirates, he was relieved to meet people like himself! He didn't believe that hybrids existed outside his case, after all, he'd eaten a devil's fruit and those can't be duplicated. ✧ Zou is his paradise. ✧ Unfortunately I don't have much to say for our favorite doctor, he's a teenager and he likes women. But I can talk about his future! ✧ Have you seen his 40/60 year old design??? GORGEOUS. ✧ When the One Piece will be found and the crew will split up, Chopper will return to Zou and become a guardian. I sincerely believe this is the only place where he will be 100% himself and at peace with his animal side. In Zou, he'll be able to find a girlfriend. ✧ Chopper will have no trouble courting his future partner: he's delicate and takes great care of his loved ones, so it's impossible not to be charmed by him. However, he will have a hard time accepting attention and compliments in return. He will need to work on his lack of confidence. ✧ He is loyal and is looking for a partner who will support his profession, as well as help him manage his time so he doesn't end up like Law (workaholic).

Nico Robin ☆ Fictosexual

✧ ONE OF US, ONE OF US, ONE OF- ✧ Robin's childhood was tragic; the poor girl never had the chance to play with other children, to think like a child... to be a child! All her traumas prevented her from developing healthy relationships, until the arrival of Luffy. In her solitude, books were the only thing that made her feel a little human, a little alive. For a moment, Robin could put herself in the hero's shoes and escape into an imaginary world. By always turning to fantasy, Robin developed an attraction to fictional characters. ✧ Female, male, gender-neutral, cyborg? She has no preference, as long as they don't exist in the real world. ✧ Speaking of cyborgs, Robin has a soft spot for Franky, simply because he looks like something out of a book. His looks, his walk, his creations... how can you not be hooked on this robot? ✧ As shown in the anime, Robin has a great imagination! It wouldn't surprise me if she was also on the maladaptive daydreaming team. Before falling asleep, her mind is filled with romantic scenarios, often linked to the novel she's reading at the time. ✧ As much as she would like to have a partner, she finds it hard to imagine sharing her life with another person in a romantic and sexual way. ✧ On the other hand, she can imagine herself living with a partner in a platonic and friendly way, a bit like with her crew. ✧ After so many years of idealizing fictional characters, Robin has convinced herself that no one is worthy of her love, and vice versa. How can she satisfy a partner's needs if she's so broken inside? She's capable of taking care of her friends, but intimate love is an area that frightens her. ✧ Even if she thinks she's satisfied with her sexuality, deep down Robin would like to find a partner who will make her live a fairy tale... ✧ Her power allows her to masturbate in a unique way; she doesn't feel the need to have an unknown body pressing against hers to be satisfied and fulfilled. ✧ Nami is the only one on the boat who knows about this part of Robin. She was unaware of the existence of this type of sexuality and had a little difficulty assimilating the information, but after a long conversation with her precious friend, she now understands and accepts this orientation!

Franky ☆ Aromantic asexual

✧ Franky isn't interested in romance or sex. ✧ He doesn't want to be in a relationship, and can imagine himself spending the rest of his life alone... with his friends! ✧ In the past, he's tried to have crushes, because everyone has them, because it's normal, because it's the norm... right? ✧ He never felt embarrassed by his lack of interest in sex, until those around him started laughing at him in a friendly way. Little did they know that these jokes were tormenting the teenager. After a few tries with girlfriends, he found out that he was never able to reciprocate his partners' feelings. ✧ When he nearly died and became a cyborg to survive, Franky stopped wondering about his orientation and stopped looking for a girlfriend. It's a waste of time. Why would he waste his time courting people just to fit in? And since when has he tried to be like everyone else? Franky is unique and he knows it. ✧ Since that day, Franky has put an end to his search and decided to embrace the person he really is. ✧ Although his sexuality goes against the majority of the population, Franky is good at helping his friends when they have love problems! He's like the father of the crew; when someone's not feeling well emotionally, they can count on Franky, his dad jokes and his warm energy. ✧ Franky sees his orientation as a strength, because unlike the others, fighting a woman in a bikini or an undressed man does nothing for him. ✧ When Franky started modifying his body in extreme ways, he didn't need to think about what he was going to do with his crotch. His private parts are intact, but nothing is connected, so his body can't react. ✧ … but also I imagine him to be heterosexual, who loves sex (super romantic) and HIMBO.

Brook ☆ Asexual, heterosexual

✧ My boi is dead, he can’t feel shit… most of the time. ✧ During his lifetime, Brook was very active! He was a great charmer and liked to share his nights with different ladies. He slept with a man once and it wasn't his cup of tea. This skeleton is open-minded! ✧ His life as a pirate kept him away from settling down and start a family. He planned to end his days in peace with a beautiful wife, children and Laboon, but as you know, death caught up with him. ✧ After his death, his sexual attraction disappeared. Without organs and blood, it's hard to feel anything in the crotch area. But but but but! His love for women never left him. ✧ During the timeskip, Brook was blessed by the presence of groupies to keep him company. He felt valued and happy to have beautiful ladies by his side. He couldn't please them the way he would have liked, but he discovered that he didn't need his dick to get pleasure. ✧ That's right, Brook has discovered that he LOVES to satisfy his partners with his hands, fingers, femur, objects... if you know what I mean. If you want, I'll elaborate in a nsfw headcanon ~ ✧ Although he can't get a boner, Brook is able to get nosebleeds and feel heat in his bones. It's a strange experience to know that he's mentally aroused by certain things, like panties, but feeling empty. It's like a phantom pain. ✧ For the time being, Brook has no desire to be in a relationship. He'll wait until the end of the adventure, go back on tour and when that day comes, he'll allow himself to think about finding a serious partner. ✧ I imagine him becoming a sort of sugar daddy, showering his sugar baby with money and offering her everything she wants. In exchange for a little love and cuddles, of course!

#one piece #one piece headcanons #straw hat pirates #straw hat pirates headcanons #monkey d. luffy #monkey d. luffy headcanons #roronoa zoro #roronoa zoro headcanons #zoro headcanons #nami #nami headcanons #usopp #usopp headcanons #sanji #vinsmoke sanji #sanji headcanons #tony tony chopper #tony tony chopper headcanons #nico robin #nico robin headcanons #franky #franky headcanons #brook #brook headcanons

[scoobydoodean]

I saw (I think through you) something about Lucifer not letting cas die after the swan song battle but just exploding him and keeping him near

I ALSO keep thinking about how the empty says nobody has pull there, nobody has the ability to bring back anyone from there (except jack on accident)

This implies to me that chuck never let cas truly die at all because he was brought back several times

I think it makes some sense because chuck was supposedly watching the Winchester's closely and would've known what would happen if cas was truly gone and he couldn't let that happen (yet)

It's interesting that cas dies finally only after chuck abandoned the world (not watching his favorite show, feeling no obligation to help) and I can't help but wonder if Dean asking for Chucks help made him so mad (it was rude and didn't appeal to chuck like he would've needed, Sam would've done a better job asking for help because he can suck up) that he flung cas into the empty.

What are your thoughts?

I don't remember reading a post like that, so it must have been someone else—but that's interesting! Chuck's alleged lack of power in The Empty vs. Castiel's resurrections is definitely another one of those tricky little bits introduced in the Dabb run that's difficult to make sense of. I mean to be real I think the guy is a fuck up of a showrunner with ineffective communication with his writing team who therefore ends up creating continuity errors and dropped plots left and right... but I think when reviewing the previous seasons through the lens that Dabb's run requires, Chuck kind of keeping Cas in his back pocket and not allowing him to drop into The Empty is still genuinely sensible (unless you want to theorize something like "The Prestige" is going on and... meh). The speed of Cas's resurrections in 5.01 and 5.22 show God was paying very close attention to Cas and that at that time, he wanted Cas around, doing exactly what he was doing—helping defy the narrative.

We see in 5.22 that despite what happens not fulfilling what God had prophesied, Chuck is pleased with the outcome. Some may take this as a sign that he intended things to go exactly how it went, but I don't think that's true. I think Chuck was just genuinely entertained by Dean and Cas leaping out of his writing at that time. Leaping out of causality is something Dean and Cas do together in 4.18, 4.22, and 5.22.

In 4.18, Dean pleads with Cas to help him save Sam, even though Cas thinks what's going to happen is fate and can't be subverted. Cas doesn't personally act, but he gives Dean the idea that Dean then executes, leading Chuck to say "What are you doing here? I didn't write this."

In 4.22, Dean pleads with Cas again. They again fight about the inescapability of destiny. This time, it's Dean's pleading but Cas's actions—flying Dean out of the green room (somewhere Dean is incapable of escaping from on his own). Chuck says when they pop into his house, "Wait. T-t-this isn't supposed to happen" and then "Yeah, but you guys aren't supposed to be there. You're not in this story".

In 5.22, after Lucifer takes Sam over (something that was foretold to happen in Detroit), Cas and Bobby despair, but Dean refuses to give up and calls Chuck, who says, "Oh, uh, Dean. Uh, wow. I, uh, I didn't know that you'd call." Then Dean goes to Stull Cemetery alone. However, the moment that Michael begins to walk up on Dean and says, "You little maggot. You are no longer a part of this story!" Guess who suddenly appears with a holy oil Molotov cocktail?

So these moments where they defy "fate" (i.e., prophecy foretold to the archangels) seem to require Dean and Cas working together in order to be pulled off, and Chuck likes this. Viewing through the Dabb lens—it excites him maybe for the first time in years. So he keeps Cas around. He resurrects Cas twice. He doesn't mind "losing"—he wants more of these things he can't anticipate to occur.

But at some point, Chuck snaps, and he isn't enjoying his creations having free will anymore. At a certain point, he turns on Castiel, because by season 15, he's complaining about Cas the exact way Naomi did in season 8: Cas is the angel with a crack in his chassis who never does what he's told. Chuck also isn't enjoying Dean's defiance anymore, but is still (as Lilith tells us) "creepily obsessed" with Dean.

The thing is, if my theory about the devil baby brainwashing is correct, then Chuck begins to sow his Moriah finale in season 12, which means Dean's prayer probably isn't what makes Chuck mad. Something has to happen between season 11 and season 12 that acts as the catalyst for Chuck to begin his most psychologically complicated, painstakingly crafted attack on Dean's mental state ever. What my brain is currently theorizing, is that the catalyst for Chuck snapping and finally trying to force Dean to act out his fratricide fantasies once and for all... is Amara.

Chuck didn't want Amara standing in his way and didn't want to share authority, so he locked her away, but then she got out and there was nothing Chuck could do about it. He lost control. That's... one theory I am thinking of anyway. (It's possible I've been watching too much true crime).

Now—Chuck had lost control before (during the first apocalypse) but never to a degree that was life threatening for him. Team free will can do things Chuck doesn't anticipate, utilizing free will... but Amara is his equal and can literally kill him. What's more—who saved his ass from Amara? Dean—and of all things—with the power of love—with his pesky, bleeding heart—the number one thing that always seems to stand in the way of the repeated fratricide plot! Dean gets Chuck and Amara to make nice, and then they go away together, but... Amara isn't that interested in Chuck. He begins to annoy her. This is another way that Chuck loses control—control of how his equally powerful sister perceives him (This is something that's also sent Sam over the edge in the past, and Chuck&Amara and Sam&Dean are mirrors).

So Chuck loses control in this major way, and in his desperation to reassert control in the aftermath, because he can't control his sister, he focuses on trying to control his "toys". He doesn't want them defying his writing anymore. It enrages instead of entertains now. So he begins this plot, and a major component of that plot needs to be separating Dean and Cas, either through death or through emotional distance or both, because 1) his experience is that they defy his writing together, and 2) it will hurt and isolate Dean.

#mail #and cas is my best friend #chuck #12.23 #13.01 #no one can control you but you #spn and causality #amara

[lacrimae23]

ANOTHER 'FELICITY-HATE' RANT. THERE ARE QUOTES SO DON'T READ IF YOU'RE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH READING HATEFUL COMMENTS!!!

[quotes]

"How I hate this moron. It's been a long time since there was such a crappy [i couldn't find accurate translation for English language, sorry. in my native language it is meant to be even more insulting] character in the series."

"did you know that the actress playing that whiney felicity is only 24 years old? i would give her at least 30 some"

"Best Arrow ending so far. I was moved. It was just too good to be true. Our dear Felicity is finally up out of her wheelchair and walking on her own. She will finally be able to fall down the stairs and break her neck."

"- Oliver really needs to start killing people again.  - Starting with Felicity."

"THIS FELICITY IS THE WORST CHARACTER I HAVE EVER WATCHED SERIOUSLY AND THE ACTOR IS A COMPLETE WOOD" "Felicity's character used to be pretty cool, but after the last episode even I wouldn't mind if she flew out the window"

[quotes]

just a few "lighter" examples from my own playground (Arrow fandom from my country) (i knew i shouldn't even visit this website with films/tv shows and its Arrow page. i know this part of this website's community all too well) and i'm sorry because i usually try not to generalize but all of this was written by men of course (and i know this; in my language you're using form of verb which indicates your sex) and some other person wrote something which in this particular case i agree with: "why nobody likes felicity" thread

"Because she helped defeat Slade and that's basically where it started. HOW DARE an IT girl in a ponytail and stilettos have the nerve to humiliate the great Deathstroak like that. She started to be hated when she became more independent and strong. Annoying when her opinion actually mattered and her decisions affected the plot and the main character. And already when she put HER in the first place for the first time is already a chapel. This is no accident. Still too many guys feel threatened by "strong female characters" and that's the problem. And it's that kind of strong, in a way that can be applied more to "real" life."

there are maaanyy reasons why people can hate felicity (or every other character) but i think that in the most part these are the guys who don't like a strong female character, who actually has an opinion that affects the plot, her opinion counts, oliver or/and digg [so men of the show] listen to her opinion etc. it's somehow wrong, right? she should be just 'nerding in the corner' or something. and she's not a human being, so she's not entitled to human emotions. [BAN EMOTIONS!] she also can't make mistake, right? right.

and i know that in season 4 we can have strongly different opinions about the break up [i think we ALL can at least agree that this drama was so unnecessary ech] but i saw all too many men just hating on felicity because HOW DARE SHE DUMP A MAN WHO DIDN'T TELL HER ABOUT HIS SON KEPT SECRETS FROM HER LIED TO HER FACE FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS DIDN'T LEAN ON HER WANTED TO LIVE ON AN ISLAND ALL OVER AGAIN - ALONE [...] HOW DARE SHE, STUPID WOMAN! yeah, so there's no 'okay, so i don't agree with her, but maybe she has her point. maybe he hurt her, maybe she couldn't be with him after that. or maybe she just run, because she was scared, or maybe she wanted partnership from him, she wanted to be a team [...], or maybe she's just a human and-blah blah blah". NO! she's stupid, how dare she, but at the same time - it's kinda good because now writers can un-alive her somehow, and show will be great again! yupi!

yeah, so amazing

so when i did this GIGANTIC rant yesterday or- when i wrote this rant, again? doesn't matter, anyway- i was writing about this kind of hate. maybe less insults and more "i think she shouldn't leave him because-[...] and it affects my opinion of her- blah bla blah something-something" and i would be cool with it even if felicity is your least favourite character of the series. it's cool! you don't have to love her, you don't have to like her or tolerate her, but stop hating like t h a t

//also, i wanted to apologise for the sound of my rants. i know they can be "passive-aggressive" and sarcastic (can't help myself, sorry) but i saw this hate too many times and had bottling everything up in me and now i just can't help it and be a little too much on the offensive[??] sorry about that, really. all of this is just frustrating. so sorry

AND I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS TO MYSELF AND READING ALL THESE COMMENTS BUT SOMETIMES MY EYES DISCONNECT FROM MY BRAIN OR SOMETHING OR MAYBE I'M A MASOCHIST IDK nevertheless, these comments exist, and this knowledge is sad for me, welp

stay safe, stay strong 💜

#arrow #oliver queen #olicity #felicity smoak #rant post #felicity lover #stop with the hate gee #lacrimae23 #female characters

[confessionsofa-roleplayer]

I'm sure a lot of people are going to gasp in outrage at this one, but after following the pattern for long enough it deserves to be said: 9 times out of 10, fandom-popular mainstream artists are GOD AWFUL roleplay partners, and it's because they refuse to adapt their approach to this hobby in any way whatsoever. A lot will parrot the old line of 'only create for yourself!!' because that's what they've been living by for the last 20 years, but that does NOT work in a fundamentally collaborative hobby where the recipients are a PART of the experience. Roleplay isn't just a creative hobby, and it's not a solo act. It is, first and foremost, a GAME you are PLAYING with OTHER PEOPLE. Your approach and expectations should reflect that. If they don't, the other party getting fed up with your selfishness isn't the problem. Your refusal to adapt accordingly is.

Being expected to care about your partners should not translate to 'how DARE you expect me to compromise my grand vision???' when your 'grand vision' clearly isn't as grand as you think it is. Cool ideas, cool plot, cool muses, good writing… Wrong medium. This applies to ANY kind of interactive artform; if your art is something that requires outside interaction to function, it CANNOT be an afterthought that gets tacked on at the end. Everyone will know it, and nobody will like the result. If you feel like you're playing tug-o-war with your partners over the cool plot you put together, maybe you should consider WHY that is happening instead of taking your control issues out on other people. The answer is generally that you didn't bother to create it with interactivity in mind, and now nobody knows what's expected of them because there WASN'T anything expected to begin with.

Your partners are not an 'audience' or 'consumers' or 'fans.' They are participants in the process, and should be treated as such. They don't exist to clap for you, they're here to contribute and build onto it.

This gets WORSE when so many insist on taking 'artistic liberties' with the rules of the hobby itself and openly cheat, godmodding and metagaming and the like in order to brute force the result they want, despite claiming to be against all of these things. THIS IS NOT AND NEVER WILL BE OKAY. And if you don't understand why, let me ask you this: if you were on the receiving end, would you be okay with THAT? If the answer is no, don't fucking do it. THIS is the stuff that I've seen kill community after community. Double-standards ruin the game for everyone involved, and it WILL wear people down over time.

So, now that I've focused on what you should NOT do, I'm going to give you a bit of advice: this does not mean you should create things you don't enjoy making, but that you need to look at it from multiple perspectives at once. Create a work that you enjoy making, definitely, but also ensure it's an experience you'd enjoy PLAYING. If you wouldn't have fun as a member of the plot you're running, that should clue you in pretty quick that something's wrong. You don't need to cater to everyone. That's absolutely impossible. But you should at least be catering to SOMEONE. If your target audience is (N/A) then yeah, that's a problem you should probably work on.

This phenomenon is the most glaringly obvious with videogames as an artform; an ambitious creator designs this whole big game with beautiful art and a story they enjoy writing, but the gameplay itself is a boring, frustrating, and/or glitchy slog that was never designed to be played, and thus completely overshadows the experience they thought they were creating. Nobody plays it all the way through, their story is left untold, and the creator just screams and bawls about how nobody appreciates their 'art.' No, people appreciated your art. That was what got you in the door. What they don't appreciate is that nothing else about the experience was worth their time-- because apparently it wasn't worth yours, either.

Roleplay has far more in common with a videogame than a fanfiction, despite what most of the RPC today would like to claim. Neither one can tell its story if the audience refuses to engage with it. You need partners no matter what, so do your best to ensure they enjoy being there. Otherwise they won't stick around long… And you'll have no one to blame for that but yourself.

#general #confessions

[a-student-out-of-time]

//Hey everyone, Mod Bubbles here.

//I come to you today with some more real talk, the product of which is kinda heavy but also really important, especially for this time of year. It's about mental health, bad relationships, and toxicity, so if you'd rather skip it, I understand.

//But I wanna talk about this because it concerns a piece of media Timeline Anon brought to my attention, which has been going around lately (at the time of this writing) with a really damaging message. I wanna make it clear why it's wrong and you shouldn't pay it any heed.

//This one goes out to everyone with rejection sensitivity and fears about how others perceive them. You guys are actually cool.

//The media in question is a controversial comic called "Communication is Key", which...I mean, I frankly don't want to get into anything about who wrote it or why, I just want to focus on what the comic itself is about.

//It's one of those simplistic comics that's supposed to teach a life lesson. In this case, Green and Red are having a discussion about Red's behavior and how they've been avoiding Green because they're concerned about their friendship, worrying that they're coming off as clingy or annoying, so they haven't brought it up. Green points out that they've had this conversation before and that just because they've had interactions like that in the past doesn't mean Green would act like that.

//...And then Green leaves, saying they can't be friends with Red anymore. Green says, after having this conversations over and over, they can't be bothered to deal with this "toxic" behavior and the lesson is supposed to be that some people are too much to deal with and it's not your responsibility to change them.

//Twitter proceeded to rip into the comic's horrible presentation and message. And for once, I completely agree with that. I'm gonna count the ways in which this comic is awful.

Green and Red don't even feel like friends here. It doesn't showcase any kindness or empathy, no believable humanity and nothing about why they even became friends in the first place. It just showcases Green's resentment with Red's problems and then expects us to side with them because it causes Green issues.

Red's "toxicity" instead feels like serious rejection sensitivity, social anxiety, intrusive thoughts, depression or some other serious mental health problem. That isn't a toxic behavior, it's a problem that requires understanding and empathy.

If someone is avoiding you because they're worried you find them annoying/clingy/toxic, the proper response to ask why they feel that way and not assume it's an intrinsic part of their nature. Nobody WANTS to have these problems, nobody asked for them to happen and nobody wants to have their friends leave them. Sometimes it's just a case of showing them empathy.

If you are this person and someone responds to your concerns about being annoying/clingy/toxic by saying "Yeah, you're right," and then leaving, you are better off without them in your life. They are the toxic jerk, not you.

While the idea of "you are not responsible for someone else's happiness" is correct, Green here has taken it to mean that you bear no responsibility for helping people you consider friends with anything. That is the epitome of toxic behavior, being a fair weather friend who's only around when things are easy and peaceing out when things get tough. Friendship is a two-way street and the people involved both should work to maintain it; having only one maintain it and the other benefits while giving nothing in return isn't friendship. That's more like parasitism.

Green's position is that Red should be the one to communicate, but at no point does Green suggest any alternative solutions like therapy, offer suggestions about Red changing their behavior on their own terms, or even offer sympathy for falling back into bad habits. No, Green simply cuts them off because it's too much for them to deal with, which is not only incredibly selfish, it's one of the most damaging things you could do to someone with rejection sensitivity.

People with these problems who avoid you or try to cut off their relationships out of nowhere are not being toxic, seeking approval or trying to manipulate you. They're often experiencing real fear and real concerns about how you view them, and so may be avoiding you because it's the only way they feel they can maintain a sense of control over their lives. It's unheathy, but that's why it's better to approach the situation with sympathy and compassion, rather than immediately assuming they have bad intentions.

Toxic people are far easier to read than you may think. They make everything about themselves, put your desires and your concerns down, exploit your friendship for their personal gain, constantly try to guilt-trip you and make you feel like you're the one at fault, never take any responsibility for what they do and how it hurts you, and then cut you off when you're no longer useful or easy to exploit. In other words, exactly like Green.

Mental health problems do not make you toxic or a bad person. People with those problems are more often than not the victims of toxic and abusive behavior, not the perpetrators. Mental illness gets used FAR too casually to refer to behaviors people don't like or find strange, rather than what they actually are: problems that some people have that do not define their entire character. They're people in just as much need of compassion and sympathy as everyone else.

I really don't know what else to say about this comic's terrible message other than that you should care about other human beings as more than just resources. They're people just like you, with their own lives, dreams, hopes, wishes, desires, fears, concerns, weaknesses and flaws. If you wouldn't want someone to treat you horribly, you really shouldn't do the same to someone else. That's something you should've learned in kindergarten.

//This comic's message is supposed to be that it's better for Green to cut toxic people out of their life, and instead the message people took away from it was that Red needs better friends. They are correct in that assessment.

//I have friends who used to act exactly like Red does, and contrary to what the author thinks, they can change and they can unlearn their unhealthy behaviors. It takes kindness, compassion, persistence and understanding, not to mention reinforcing all the good times you have with them and emphasizing those over pointing out how their problems make your life harder.

//I promise you, whatever problems someone else's mental health issues might cause you, the problems it causes them are far worse. Abandoning someone who's afraid of abandonment is not only cruel and hurtful, it will make their problems even harder to deal with by reinforcing everything they were afraid of.

//I sincerely hope the creator of that comic grows up and learns the importance of compassion over selfishness.

//And to everyone who struggles with these issues, I promise you, people like this don't deserve to be a part of your life and nothing they say about you is right. You are worth so much more than that and you do deserve to have good things in your lives.

//The people worth having around are the ones who acknowledge your flaws while emphasizing your strengths. They're the people who want to help you grow out of your issues and be a better version of yourself. And if you have the misfortune of encountering people who cut you off like Green, you can at least try and take the lesson of what to look out for in toxic people to heart.

//People are kinder and more understanding than they're given credit for, and you can and should be that kind of person for yourself too. Show yourself compassion when you need it and understand where you might've gone wrong, rather than constantly punishing yourself for every mistake. It's better for everyone, especially yourself.

//Things have been hard for me this year, but I've had a lot of great friends who've helped get me through it and I wish the same for everyone reading this.

//Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone ^^

#mod talks #a student out of time #real talk #real life stuff

[lavenderpanic]

Your disclaimer does not mean anything when this is what you put in your writing:

Starvation is not a punishment in kink. Even someone who doesn’t know about kink knows that. Or isnt “educated” as you said. Food restriction and weight is not part of kink.

That is not what somnophilia is, because he did not consent.

Bucky was sixteen (underage) and Brock didn’t know. Is that his fault?

And the club let underage Bucky inside which is not how kink clubs work.

A quote from a chapter. “Bucky shrugs. “Technically an acronym, but sure. Honestly, Brock and I kind of do our own thing, so I really don’t know if either of us would call it that, but that’s… the general term, I suppose. I had this… this period of a few months, I guess, a few years ago, when I was super anxious and withdrawn and… I just wasn’t in a good headspace. I kinda felt attracted to the thought of dominance and submission and all that because it felt like a safe way to cope with my anxiety, and I met Brock at a club and… and it’s just been us since then. Nobody’s ever understood me like he does. A lot of people look at me like I’m crazy or weird, but Brock never thought that. It’s like… a balanced scale, kinda. He’s my counterweight, just as strong in the opposite direction.” This is not what kink is and it is not why poeple get into kink. This is false information and does not represent the community.

He has a safe word but Brock does not listen to it. Bucky should know that this is not how safe words work.

There are so many examples. You are corellating abuse and kink and that is dangerous for people who are actually in the community. Being abused does not excuse you.

I've been staring at this for like an hour and I just... like I'm genuinely at a loss for words. This is so incredibly weird. Like, I feel so weird right now, this is so creepy. I don't even think I know my fic well enough to pull fucking examples like this out of my ass why the fuck are you so weirdly obsessed??

Food restriction can 100% be a part of a TPE. Again, I've got weird and mixed-up feelings about it, but it isn't like... absurdly uncommon. But also, like... Bucky has anorexia. Brock knows this. Brock is abusing him. Brock is not like... conforming to BDSM rules or practices or whatever. I really don't know what you aren't understanding about this. I'm not saying that food restriction = abuse or what Brock is doing = a normal part of BDSM.

The fic is tagged "non-consensual somnophilia." It is not tagged "somnophilia." I don't even use that word in-text, I'm pretty sure. AGAIN, I feel weird about somnophilia, but if that's part of your dynamic and it's consensual WHATEVER IDCCCCC I'M OBVIOUSLY NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUUUUU.

Brock knows Bucky is underage before they do anything together sexually. He also coerces Bucky the first time they meet, regardless of his age. Yup, it's Brock's fault.

Clubs will let in people who are 18. This is a fact. Like I said in the fic, they mark that Bucky is <21 and can't drink. He has a fake ID which says he is 18.

That quote is actually inspired by my own experience, and I know I'm not the only person who felt that way. I don't claim to represent every person involved in the community. I never have. This is one person's story. You can't just make a blanket statement like "this isn't why people get into kink" because you're just fucking wrong.

Bucky knows this isn't how safewords work. He is abused and assaulted. He is being abused. He is being manipulated. You said you were older than me but your reading comprehension skills are like kindergarten level.

Nothing I have written is dangerous for any community (idk except maybe abusers?) and I have absolutely no clue why you would think so. I'm not claiming to represent an entire community. I am sharing my experience. I am writing one person's story. Fact of the matter is, there are many people involved in kink who take advantage of people who are new to kink because they can be so easy to manipulate and coerce and push past their boundaries. If you're saying I'm wrong, then you're either so fucking dumb I'm genuinely concerned for your wellbeing, or you're a predator or someone who excuses them. YOUUUU are the one sharing gross misinformation.

Go fuck yourself, genuinely. I'm blocking you and every other account you make and I'm not giving you my attention anymore. I have actual real-life problems and I really don't have the mental capacity at the moment to deal with shit like this. This is the one true safe space I still have in my life. I can't imagine how fucking miserable and alone you have to be to spend your fucking time making anonymous fucking accounts and antagonizing someone trying to bring awareness to victims of DV?? What the actual fuck is your deal? Go get a fucking job or volunteer or get a hobby you miserable piece of shit.

#tw abuse mention #fanfiction #fanfic #ao3

[nateriverswife]

1, 8 and 9 for Ethe for the OC Questions

:3

Hi!!

would this oc fight you if they could?

OMG, YES. both as a 9 year old and as a young adult. She even becomes somewhat of a bodyguard later (slight spoiler?), but her means of protection are a bit... unconventional. but definitely. if she met me and found out i decided her fate, jesus, my life would be over, but not in a dead way, which is worse.

8. has there been any part of having this oc (designing, writing, drawing, etc…) that was difficult?

Finding her voice, because I wanted her speech patterns, thinking process and writing style to be so unique that is hard to mistake her for someone else. I don't know if I nailed it, but the idea of going back to write her after four months of not touching that story makes me feel a bit anxious, because what if it doesn't sound like her anymore, you know?

Another thing is her appearance, because at the very beginning I wanted her to be like the female version of L, but then I changed it, 'cause I thought it would've been a bit unoriginal, and after I enstablished her many problems, I also realised that it would've defeated one point of the story.

9. what is your favorite part of having this oc?

As much as writing her is hard for me, I still love writing her. It's my favourite part.

All her interactions with L are funny to write, like

"Are you sure you're in the right kind of institution, Ethelinda?" L asked as I rested my hand on the doorknob. "Do you want to find the answer to that too?"

but those with Lex are funnier. She doesn't want to be mean to him, but comes across like that, and doesn't even realise it, like she thinks saying stuff like, "Is he [Simas] sharp-sighted or are you limited in observation? It wouldn't be the first time you've demonstrated that" is acceptable. She says more out of pocket stuff later on, but even now, their dynamic is so good imo. Especially because Lex thinks she's just a bit strange you know, but in a cute and harmelss way, and then they have this type of conversations:

"So..." He looked around for a second. "How is that worse?" "The possibility was enough." "You could have paralysed me." "I could do far worse." "What...?" He whispered and I realised what I had just said and bitterly regretted it.

And he's like, "tf... is she joking right? of course she is", while she's thinking of threating him into silence, because nobody has to know about her inclinations.

Her one liners are another thing that I adore, like the one I remember right now:

"Our friendship does not involve charity work." (to Ayla and Rae about L)

"Maybe you'd better start walking so you can make it to your room by tonight." (to Lex when he has crutches)

Lastly, how she spins some stories when she needs to lie. the grade exam accident is just... so good.

Before handing over the finished product, it seemed to me that everything had proceeded well: there had been no heated bickering, no bitter disagreements, we had managed to find a middle way and had even finished it before the deadline, so that we had the opportunity to reread it as many times as we felt the need to. However, at the time of the result, Roger had informed us that the work had fulfilled almost none of the requirements, which was a surprise. Simas had left the room immediately, without waiting for any explanation. I had stayed because I did not want to sour Roger's opinion of me. Apparently, the text had a thesis up to a certain point, before changing completely and continuing with another one, contradicting everything stated above. It had been logical for him to think that we had not actually communicated or had a dialogue; therefore, I had not argued back.

it's like... imagine if someone came to you and said like, "yeah, we worked so hard and i think we did a very good job. we even went over the finished product together and it was perfect, but then the teacher said that we fucking sucked ass and from his pov, that's true, that's so logical to think. i can't argue against that so i didn't defend us and we failed. have a wonderful two years redoing this grade :)"

best part is that she thinks she's great at lying like girl. are you sure about that.

but yeah. My favourite part of having her is writing her, basically.

Sorry, this is so long! But thank you for the ask <3333

[ask game] [ocs index]

#oc: Ethe #d.inbox

[restlessreveries]

choosing violence: 8, 9, 10, 19

Oh boy, alright let's see...

I think I'm gonna have to roll 8 & 10 into the same response MOSTLY because I don't really know what to put on 8 exactly but I also feel like 10 kinda applies to it?

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about/10. worst part of fanon

BUT YEAH, it's the fandom's insistence that Sol is miserable/bored/apathetic and desperate to get out of the time loop (or whatever you call this not-loop arrangement). I swear, if I see another fic that has Sol feeling like shit because of the time loop thing I'm going to... not really do anything. Except maybe scream really loudly internally.

It's not like they're re-watching the same movie a thousand times and we only really see a small sample of the infinite possibilities they have on hand, but people are so fond of the despair over time loop thing and I kinda hate it.

9. worst part of canon

That we don't get a "I was a 20-something exocolonist" Continuation? No? That's cheating? Okay, let's see...

This is actually a tough one 'cause I've got several small annoyances but I think the big one is that no matter what you do, nobody will believe Sol about the visions or aliens (Like FFS even Dys can be the person who triggers Sol getting sent to be lobotomized). And special shoutout to that one event on the ridge where Utopia is more willing to believe that Dys has a secret older brother (SHE SPENT 20 YEARS ON THAT SAME SHIP! D8<) than that Sol is telling the truth about Sym being an alien. And then when you talk to the council at the end they go "Yeah no, lol we knew there was an alien presence out there". I get that Sol probably does a lot of faulty predictions too, but I just wish there was a golden route where people started trusting them if you somehow managed to mysteriously be in the right place at the right time to keep saving people's lives. Or something.

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

Vace would be the easy answer here but I'm actually not picking him for this. No, I'm gonna pick the other guy who I don't exactly like as as much as I kind of appreciate in terms of writing and find fascinating.

It's Lum.

It took me many months to actually start thinking about this guy more than writing him off as comically inept space dictator-wannabe. But when you take a step back he's actually kind of interesting. I think I'll put why under a readmore tho, 'cause while my earlier responses has some spoilers this goes into more important events.

Basically, I think Lum is interesting because he looks so dumb and inept and comically evil at first glance. But once you learn about the earth fleet, things start to look a bit differently.

Him being so rough with Utopia isn't just him being over the top evil for the sake of it. He's on a major time limit to get this planet into what the earth fleet considers shape, (with the "or else" option being them glassing the place) and Utopia confronts him in front of the entire colony, questioning his leadership and putting him on the spot. So he thinks and acts fast and brutally to force things back under his control 'cause he really can't risk losing that.

And when you think about it, a lot of his decisions are in the same line. Poorly thought out ways to handle the immense pressure he's under. He's not well suited for this, was probably never taught to handle these kind of decisions. The Helios supposedly got there in about 15 years and Lum is listed at 25 at the start of the game (30 on arrival), so he got onboard of that military ship when he was 15, grew up with a very limited worldview and was suddenly put in command of the entire operation. (he was like, second in command of communications before?) With the earth fleet threat breathing down his neck.

This isn't me excusing his behavior by the way. He did things that range from extremely shitty to horrifying. But part of me can't stop thinking about how much more chill he seems if he gets kicked from the leadership role, and that one Glow attack where he recklessly used himself as bait to lure the two faceless.

Basically, if Vace is the guy I want to put in a hamster ball and kick down the stairs. Lum is the guy I'd like to put by a pool and give a gym membership to in the peace ending, and then come back ten years later to see if he's turned into the himbo I suspect he could potentially be.

#Should I put this in the main tag? #Yeah why not we're choosing violence today #Exocolonist #Iwatex #What's the worst that could happen anyway #Inb4 I am excommunicated from the fandom

[coffehbeans]

In regards to the post where you stated that you were getting a bit tired of gt, maybe its with the community? I've been in the gt community for a couple years now, and I've observed it to be... Not as great when I joined. For one, its become way too oversaturated with the same types of tropes and style of writing (fluff mostly), and two, its seemingly hostile towards anything that isn't what saturates the community. It also has a terrible relationship towards writers and I'm not pull out that particular drama (even though its pretty damning), its just that very few stories and creators get the attention and interaction they deserve. Whether it be because people can't be bothered to take a few minutes to read a story, or it goes against the fluff norm.

I especially felt you when you said you got annoyed by the posts where 'oh it would be so cool if I was tiny' like wow... Nobody's said that before (they have, over and over and over and over-). The g/t community is deceptive because initially you think it'll be great because its relatively small and you all like this odd genre of media that you'd think everyone would just get along. Because we're all weirdos. But nope, the community can be just as toxic, just as uninviting, and just as hostile as other fandoms.

Of course, take everything I say with a grain of salt. I've only been here for two years, and these are my observations which have come not only from my own eyes but others I've interacted. I could be completely right or completely wrong. Who knows. Just wanted to say you're not alone in being tired of g/t.

Thanks for such a long ask! I share a lot of the feelings you have here. Although for me I don't think the g/t community is toxic at all. Drama will continue to happen as humans will remain being humans. But with the other aspects I totally agree with you.

I'm in the g/t fandom for five years now. Back then, it peaked at deviantart. Stories and writing were the main g/t content, but I don't remember if there were interactions or not. But I still say the time g/t was brimming with good content was ack at deviantart, and the countless groups and content. It was so good.

It seems that over the years people stopped reading or something, because it's very difficult to get a lot of notes on your writing. And I say this not referring to me, but to the other writers I follow. I try to at least leave a nice comment in the tags or something, but usually I'm part of the few people that do this. I say that nowadays writing g/t stories is the same as talking to a brick wall.

And the take I most agree with you, is the oversaturation. Oh gosh. The same stuff being repeated over and over and over. And only fluff, and only wishing to be tiny, and I'm tired. Sorry if people are having fun, it's just that these aren't the reason I personally like g/t and seeing the same boring fluff stuff for the milionth time and getting 500 notes is, tiring. I enjoy fluff but gosh, is that really all that people can come up with? Where's the interesting stuff, you know?

Also over the years I really felt the age difference. I'm not part of the majority of the demographic that composes this fandom and gosh, I feel it. The stories I find, when they're not from my usual favorite authors, are immature and childish. The posts are the same stuff, written in a way that I can see is from a 14-16 year old. Again, nothing wrong with that, but I can't relate to these types of content like I used to when I was that age.

So for me, anon, it's not about toxicity (I think the g/t fandom is very healthy). For me is that I really started to feel the age difference between me and most of the community, since I don't find the content that tackles the subjects I'm interested in (which are usually kinda deep and definitely not the fluff and jokes we get everyday).

Thanks again for the ask!

#And I don't mean to say this in a “oh im an adult im so cool” type of way #its just that this content is not appealing to me anymore #they annoy me more than anything because im looking for other type of content you understand? #more mature stories focusing on tender relationships and interesting plots #not the same “ooh cute tiny fluff and cheap drama” stories over and over and over again #coffeh speaks up #coffeh answers #and when there IS deeper and more interesting content #it involves an abusive relationship between tinies and giants that is normalized #so I constantly have to make the content I want to see #but I constantly don't get the interactions back like i wanted to #so it's a kind of lonely road and I lost motivation pretty quickly

[asksoldieron]

SO-12: The Spirit of Harpo Marx

If there's a lot of engagement on this, this post is liable to get real long, beware before you expand.

Welcome to the Engagement Lounge, for Alight at the Window (SO-12) an instalment! Short comments can go in the replies, but there's a 475 character limit. Longer ones will need a reblog. Remember to @asksoldieron if you're reblogging someone else's reblog, so I can see it too!

Awwwwww, ya know? Awwwwww ❤️!

Poor Erik is in ⚡🔋no shape🔋⚡ to communicate, but he's doing his best. Maggie has no idea whether he's messing with her on purpose, or what's wrong with him, but she won't let him go. They'll get to him eventually. (I've just finished that part, actually. They've got him! Uh. Sorta. At least he's... safe now? 😅Oh, I can't say that with a straight face.)

This is the last of my queued posts/instalments, and I have no idea where my reading and drawing ability will be when it goes live. If I can't update you on my condition (and the condition of the next six instalments) I'll hafta have the spouse type a note for me. I want to do six more right away, or I might take a two week break, or - if I'm really struggling - it'll be a break of indeterminate length. I hope I'll be okay to just keep going, my Patrons have been so patient this year. Thanks, y'all.

But, either way, there will be a break at some point, because I'll have a while where I can't write or draw and that's going to eat up my backlog. Also, recent updates have done more stupid things to my theme and I think the site needs a redesign - maybe including some radical simplification. I'm just not mobile friendly and I can't make the current format behave. People with better eyesight than me do a lot of reading on their phones.

I have no idea how to build a community and I'm flailing, really, but maybe if I can get the interface more convenient, more people will like me? (I have no idea. Probably they won't.)

Look, though! You've got some extra art to tide you over! And a song!

I'm not in love with how Erik's design looks right now - he looks like a train wreck, but he should look like a train wreck. Nobody is going to fix his hair. I still feel self-conscious about it. He used to be cute. I've got to do a full-body rendering of how he'll clean up, but I don't have time for it now.

However, I did do a page of something trying to get comfortable with his ability to emote in train reck form. I don't have time to finish it, but I think it looks cool so I'm sharing.

This is potentially a way for me to serve you the music without lyric backgrounds that you can't read! It's very labour-intensive, but I was figuring out how to do it and it might get a little easier with practice. Also, my current tablet is struggling with the resolution and I plan to update it by the end of the year - depending on sale prices.

After I saw Hedwig and the Angry Inch, I found out the original Off-Broadway incarnation had filked music with lyrics by John Cameron Mitchell. 🥹😊I'm calling it! This is something other people sharing my identity do to tell their stories! Filk musicals are an enby thing! We do not give a shit about the music industry's copyrights! I'm performing nonbinary correctly!

So here's the lyrics again, and maybe I'll give you the rest in comic form as my vision and my tools improve.

You Are Found! (based on "We Are Young" by fun.) I need a minute, I… I don’t know if I’m ready yet I’m tryin’ to get my shit together, Maggie, please don’t be upset My family must be looking for me somewhere very near Guess I knew you must be coming but I can’t believe you’re here, and… It’s been forever since I’ve seen your face I know you want to take me home But although it hurts to do this work they need my help for what it’s worth —  Oh, gods I’m not sure if I wanna go So maybe if, next time you see me, You can take me by the hand, You’ll steal me away At last I am found So I guess the party’s over Time to get sober, and come down At last I am found So I guess the party’s over Time to get sober, and come down No, I wanna go home I’m just not done I guess that I, I just hoped We could visit and I’d get right back to work But I can’t go yet So I must forget 'Cause I think you’ll hafta steal me away At last I am found So I guess the party’s over Time to get sober, and come down At last I am found So I guess the party’s over Time to get sober, and come down Steal me away at last (na na na na na na) Come steal me away at last (na na na na na na) Steal me away at last (na na na na na na) Come steal me away at last (na na na na na na) The gods have their own plan (na na na na na na) But I’m just one weary man (na na na na na na) So you're gonna hafta steal me away at last (na na na na na na) I have so much to do (na na na na na na) How can I go with you? (na na na na na na) So you're gonna hafta steal me away (na na na na na na) At last I am found So I guess the party’s over Time to get sober, and come down At last I am found So I guess the party’s over Time to get sober, and come down So maybe if, next time you see me, You can take me by the hand You’ll steal me away at last

See you soon! Ha, I hope!

Late edit: Two week break, folks. No drawing ability yet, so we're stuck with it. I still hope to get you the next six by the end of the year. I'll keep you posted!

[Back to Site?]

#tin soldier and soldier on #instalment #engagement lounge #music #covers #comic #lyrics

[justmeinatree]

i love talking about my writing so i do not mind all the questions 😂 i've been part of too many fandoms to name here but some of the ones i was the most involved in include Supernatural (still love the show, just don't engage with the fandom much anymore), the MCU (stopped watching the movies after Endgame, went to see Eternals because Harry was in the post credits scene and then fell asleep halfway through and missed him), Star Wars (was more into this when i was younger, these days the only Star Wars media i really care for is Rogue One and nobody else seemed to like that movie lol), Star Trek (mostly TOS), Doctor Who (same thing as Supernatural, still love it just not in the fandom anymore, and the 12th Doctor is my favorite <3), Community (still love the show, probably going to be getting back into the fandom when the movie drops), Les Miserables (i've read the book, seen the Hugh Jackman movie too many times to count, and saw a performance of it a few years back! still love the musical but the fandom feels like it's mostly dead now), Harry Potter (for obvious reasons, I have distanced myself from this one as much as possible but I was a Ravenclaw if anyone was wondering), the Throne of Glass books by Sarah J Maas (actually planning to reread this over the summer! may get back into the fandom, we'll see) and I've been active in the fandom for just about every mainstream horror franchise (and plenty of the more obscure ones too lol). I could probably spend hours creating a comprehensive list of fandoms but i think this is enough for now, unless you're just dying to know more 😂 i started writing in first grade, so around 6 years old. i've known i want to be a writer almost my entire life. i think the first bit of fanfic i ever wrote was for Harry Potter actually, but i don't remember anything about it. and i don't actually know what got me into reading fanfic...i just kind of always remember it being my go-to form of entertainment when i was bored. i am SO sorry for putting a whole novel in your askbox...apparently we're both in very chatty moods today lol

dialogue is the hardest thing for me to write because i always have to rewrite the conversation ten times before i feel like it sounds the way two people would actually speak. i'm much better at giving overly flowery descriptions of the space, and of character's appearances, emotions, etc. i tend to try and limit dialogue as much as i can when possible. my other writing crutch is semi-colons...i simply cannot go a paragraph without including one.

now the pressure is on to keep the fic good for the two of you 😂 i think this is the first time i've been told that two of my readers were talking about my fic beyond the comments section.

i think she's 3 years old? but i always forget. i'll have to ask my mom next time i call her, she's the one that keeps track 😂

-🤘

wow, i cannot comment on any of the fandoms 🫣 don’t rip me apart or anything but i’ve literally never watched a single movie or episode related to any of them 😅 to be fair though, i rewatch the same like 10 tv shows on repeat and i’m not much one for movies 😬 but still that’s so impressive ! HOW did you find so many things that you enjoyed enough to join a fandom ? honestly love all of that for you, and apparently i need to broaden my horizons 😅

that’s crazy how it’s so opposite for us ! conversation is so easy for me to imagine. i wouldn’t even know how to avoid it 😅 semi colons !! never use those bad boys but i’m told i use too many commas. love me a good comma 😂

SHE’S SO CUTE !! i’ve seen the photos you sent and omggg she’s seriously adorable. i don’t know what i was picturing but honestly she’s surpassed the image ! such a fkn cutie 😍😍

#asks #🤘anon

[denimini]

You've opened up a space for people to share their thoughts and feelings which is not a bad thing. But as someone who is a longtime ARMY and JK biased, it's really disheartening to read some of these posts. I think a lot of people here are missing the part where JK is going so far out of his comfort zone on everything. He did Seven in the US, and PDogg was there but he was working with US producers. We all saw the video and how nervous and hardworking he was on that. Then the music videos are all being produced by two different US production companies. None of them speak Korean. They are completely new teams to him. Back in Korea, BTS has worked with literally the same 20 film people for 10 years. (check the credits on all their videos!) It's a true bubble for them, across the board BigHit always had *their* people doing the filming and recording - even for the Grammys in 2021. Now JK is out here working in the US, working with teams who do. not. know. him. the way Lumpens knows him and it's gotta be really scary for him. We all saw him behind the scenes at his interview at Global Citizen and how nervous and hard on himself he was being. I think this "fckboi" character is exactly that. It's a persona and one that JK has used throughout his career, we see it happen on stage often and I think he's reaching farther with it right now but it's also probably a shield too. It's not to say it's not an extension of his IDGAF side but JK is doing things right now that none of the other members have done. He's been doing it since World Cup. Sure he has his entourage but for the introvert we know JK is, he's throwing himself into new experiences (we also know he's an adrenaline junkie so he might be enjoying it too) but JK's current on-camera, on-stage persona is not the same crinkly-eyed wide-smiling JK we see in all the behind the scenes. He's trying a lot of new things and he honestly may fail in some places but that's how you grow and I am personally really proud of him for pushing himself so much in this way. Sorry to rant but it feels like some of the people writing in aren't looking at JK the way JM does and maybe they should. As you've said before - he's really a precious one.

You know, we've actually talked so much about JK already here. We discussed so much about his personal and professional life, and many people say they feel sort of disappointed by his path and find it hard to connect to JK in the way they used it. I admitted multiple times that I, too, am part of those people. I find it hard to merge the image I've had of him for years and the career direction he has chosen.

Yet, you're right that amidst all these discussions and posts, nobody, me included, ever mentioned how brave and hard these steps must be for him. I am proud of him for having the bravery to try new things in a very uncomfortable and unsual way for him, with unfamiliar people, having to communicate in a language he isn't really fluent in. Even if I don't really vibe with the end product, Jungkook must be applauded for his desire to overcome his discomfort and strive to be get out of his comfort zone, even when knowing it could also lead to criticism.

We, Jimin-biased people, shouldn't forget that no matter our personal feelings for JK, Jimin loves and cares for this boy, so, so freaking much. Despite people having critique over 3D, Jimin still supports it. Obviously, nobody should feel obligated to support JK just because Jimin does it if they have reservations, but clearly, Jimin is not going anywhere.

It was discussed here already how Jimin is a smart man and probably a good reader of character. It must be asked: If Jungkook had completely changed and had turned into nothing more than a hungry for fame, horny fuckboy, would Jimin still be so supportive and loving towards him?

I doubt it.

#jikook #kookmin #jimin #jungkook

[spring-lxcked]

taking a small break to ramble incoherently abt my portrayal of william in what will be a very confusing post lmao

i'm thinking about how my portrayal, which draws inspiration from two specific characters at times, and how i apply that inspiration to william (which started off as the focus of the post before it derailed how did this get so long i'm sorry)

the first is (and i do hate to make this comparison ngl) my portrayal of kok.ichi over on @takinghisbow. i mean, one of the running themes of the blog is the "mask" kok.ichi wears to conceal his true emotions and i've consistently tried to keep myself from falling into that exact turn of phrase on this blog for the most part. these are two characters who do not want you to actually know anything about them and hide everything from intentions to feelings to expressions (yes hello i have realized in the last year that i mask in public thanks for noticing). the obvious differences between these two are motivation (kok.ichi is motivated by trust issues and self-hatred, william is motivated to try to cover up his misdeeds) and method (kok.ichi acts antagonist/annoying to push people away, but william acts falsely kind to draw people in while still keeping them at an arm's length). kok.ichi has questionable morals, but tries to be good where it counts. william is a terrible person and has no intentions of changing that, although he can be kind to those he likes if it isn't "a burden" to him.

the other character (who i also tentatively write) is hann.ibal lec.ter (specifically the NB.C portrayal). and i've said it before, but "you're not a person, you're a monster wearing a person-suit" is william-coded lmao. they're both monsters, and yet capable of caring. they are not incapable of empathy or sympathy, but choose how to wield it. outside of their very horrific hobbies, nobody would ever think they were killers. both are surrounded by death, and yet not suspected because nobody could ever believe they'd do it (until it's too late).

going into making this blog, i was very adamant that i wanted a complex portrayal that didn't fall too far into generic movie serial killer stereotypes. we don't throw around potentially offensive terms like "psychopath" or "sociopath" here. we don't suggest that lack of empathy = bad person here. i also was very, very loathe to do the whole "evil guy looks Totally Evil and is so obviously creepy" because it quite literally made little sense to me. how is this guy killing so many kids and not getting suspected if he screams "Serial Killer" just by looking at him? if he's antagonistic and creepy and clearly threatening? and in that same vein i wanted to avoid "bad person is bad all the time 24/7, never does anything decent ever" because i live for nuance, not the chr.istian fund.amentalist black/white thinking i grew up in. i wanted him to be irredeemably, unmistakably evil without losing the fact that evil people are humans, and humans are capable of great evil if they choose.

i want the moments where he's being decent—a seemingly good friend, father, or romantic partner—to be almost disarming. because, while william is perfectly capable of caring for people, his actions (both in what he does and what he doesn't do) are intentional. always. his sense of humor with his adult friends or romantic partners is half because he genuinely enjoys joking around and half because he wants to be viewed a certain way. funny. normal. just one of your buddies. him doting on his kids is because he loves them, but also because he needs for everyone—both the kids and the community—to be able to say, "What a good father, he would never hurt anyone (and especially not a child)." when he resists showing anger (whether entirely or just the full extent of it) toward someone he's upset with, this is part of the persona. when he pretends to like someone he dislikes, this is part of the persona. when he agrees to something he doesn't want to do, this is part of the persona.

it's part of what makes sprin.gtrap seem so different from william prior to the springlo.ck incident. william is throwing everything behind his persona. he's a calculating man, even when he's genuinely enjoying himself. he can be truly having a nice time with someone, but the thought of how this is benefitting his persona is always in the back of his mind. you're just another character witness to william. after the springlo.ck incident, there's no longer a point. the persona is gone. get ready to meet the real man beneath it.

#—— ✧ ooc » #˖ ✧ headcanon » ( the demon to his demons ) #not to be self-congratulatory but i think i went off with 'you're just another character witness' #me starting this post: just gonna write a little something abt the character inspirations #me partway through: but consider the NUANCE the PERSONA the—

[thorne1435]

You're all disgusting pedos and you should stay away from kids. Normal people would have a problem with men, dressed in frocks and lipstick and go to the female bathroom. You literally have no reason to complain when half the society is lifting you up unfortunately for your bullshit by giving you opportunities which you Don't deserve in women sports. Just because you're a weak man afraid to stand up for yourself and are insecure of who you are, you bitch about your life and expects special treatment? The ban on your freakish trans rights was something good and effective after all, Kentucky did something good. When straight people even SAY something regarding the trans community, you get all defensive and bitch about it till no end and you have the audacity to even go as far as attacking us in mobs! Don't even get me started on those disgusting drag queens, they're fucking pedos and exposing such vile parts of their body needs to be categorized as child abuse. HOW are you okay with a grown adult flashing their privates at your children? That's legit disgusting and creepy and messed up. Fucking kill yourself disgusting groomer, you'll be doing everyone a favor 🙄 maybe then people won't get tired of your incessant whining and bitching

Hey dude, chill. Like, I can see what you're trying to do, but you're doing too much, so none of it's working.

You're trying to get me emotional so that when you tell me to kill myself at the end, I'll be caught up in the negativity and I'll go for it impulsively. But that's not gonna work if you can't at least write a coherent sentence. I need really solid logic to start doom-spiraling, or at least solid logic from my perspective. And uh, from the look of it, I don't think you can pull it off, yourself.

Like, okay, did you ever stop to think about why or how a transgender woman would be offended by you saying she was a "weak man"? Like, I'm not even a man, I don't care if I'm "weak" by masculine standards. You're full of shit either way though because I don't know what you could possibly mean by "afraid to stand up for yourself." I'm doing something that gets me hate like this and I've pretty consistently clapped back, even when it wasn't that funny. I'm doing it right now! Is this not standing up for myself? And I still accept Anon Asks, because you guys have yet to damage my self-esteem.

Anyway, I've never taken part in or encouraged the brigading of any TERF or transphobe ever. And I never would! That's not how my brain works. I feel sorry for you all, I talked about that pretty recently, because I understand that your mindset comes from a place of pain that I was in myself for years. And unlike you, when I see people who are doing something gross I think how miserable they must be and how I can help fix that problem. Even when I know I can't! So, yeah, even a cursory glance at my blog would've done you some good here.

I've never gotten special treatment in my life, or at least not for being trans. I live in rural Kentucky, and I feel like I've said that more than once, so...y'know, again, you could've figured that one out pretty easily. But anyway, it just means I'm scared in public. Do you think the MAGA-hats and Yee-Yees out here drop rose petals at my feet when they clock me and tell me how brave and noble I am for wanting tits? If I said anything too fag-y to the wrong one, they'd just pull out their conceal carry and fucking kill me. That's not even basic knowledge of me, that's just basic knowledge of the political climate.

Also, I don't care about sports. I never have and I never will, I don't think they should be played on a professional level at all, so even if we are ruining women's sports (which nobody watches), I...don't give a shit. I feel like I've said this more than once, so I really am just appalled.

Also, I don't care about drag, I never have and I never will. Though, I must give you some credit here, I haven't talked about that one before, because I'm not, like, militantly apathetic, I'm just apathetic.

I don't think it should be banned but also I'm never going to go to a drag show ever. To me, banning it is kind of like banning the opera, if that makes sense. Like, not everyone likes it, some people find it or the people who enjoy it irritating, but usually it's just not for those people. It would be kind of self-absorbed to label it "immoral" though.

I guess I shouldn't be too offended, but I'm only really offended in the first place that you didn't bother to get to know your mark. Am I somehow worth harassing yet not worth the effort of doing it right? Come on, man. Give me a little respect here. If not for me, then for the love of the craft.

You're never going to pierce my cynicism without cyberstalking me and saying something brutal and devastating based on the oversharing I've done. Give that a shot next time, I know you can do it. It'll be rough, you'll have to think really hard, but I believe in you, and I can't wait to see what you come up with Angry-Drunk Anon

#yeah i think its the same one from the three hate-asks #same writing style #cw: transphobia