#you change and no matter how important they were to you now they don't KNOW you

[fortunekookie07]

Mc disappears on a mission/snowcrest (Days, weeks, author's choice) I want pain, anguish But a happy ending, with a reunion (the only requirement, life is sad enough 😭)

This is the prompt requested, and I got this idea.

Looking for my Heart

The mission seems simple enough, you thought as you read through the file that Jenna had sent. After you had gone to Snowcrest last year with Zayne and temporarily teamed up with the Deepspace Hunters stationed there she had decided to add more diversity to the training. This included rounds in Snowcrest.

This time it was your turn, you were excited to see Dr. Noah and Pie again. It had been almost six months since your last trip. Getting out of Linkon for the first time in awhile was just the refreshing change you wanted.

Zayne had agreed to take you to the train station so you could meet up with your temporary team, but for some reason he was late. This was highly unusual, Zayne was almost never late. He prided himself on his perfect manners.

You decide to take your luggage downstairs anyways. Surely Zayne was on the way or maybe even pulling up to the complex now. Upon seeing the quiet parking lot devoid of his car a pout forms on your lips. You grab your phone and scroll through the texts you'd exchanged and check to make sure you'd told him the correct time and date. There it was, Wednesday morning 9:30, along with his affirmation and yet no Zayne. You decide that this is not ok and immediately tap the phone icon to call him.

Straight to voice-mail, a frown furrows your eyebrows and your lips purse out in frustration. You call again, once more, twice more. You almost lose count at the number of straight to voice mail calls you send. So you type him a text in anger.

I know you don't want me to go to Snowcrest but this is my job after all. If you didn't want to take me you shouldn't have agreed in the first place. Trying to make me miss the train is really petty. You hit send without a second thought and immediately call for a taxi. Minutes later one is pulling into the parking lot and finally you are off.

After getting to the station and finally securing your tickets and luggage your phone rings. Zayne's name and picture flash across the screen. In anger you shut your phone off and stuff it deep into your bag.

You walk down a few cars before finding a seat. Across from you is a family. A little girl is giggling as her father is making funny faces and the mother is quietly laughing as well. A smile crosses your face and then unwanted thoughts pop into your head.

For a moment you see yourself and Zayne in that exact situation. Though he'd probably never actually admit it, Zayne would do anything you asked no matter how silly. To him you'd hung the moon and scattered the stars. A small smile came to your face and you violently shook your head back in forth, uncaring that your hair whipped your cheeks as you did so.

"No I'm angry, we're mad at Zayne. Be mad at Zayne"! You chant softly to yourself before slapping both cheeks. Having successfully for the moment chased away the daydream you sit back in your seat as the train begins to move and look out at the scenery flashing by. Slowly changing from city to mountains.

Two hours later the heaters in the cars came on as the temperature outside had dropped. It was snowing lightly according to the weather report. Your about to get your jacket on when an alert sound on your Hunter's Watch. You look down and see that a there is a Metaflux warning on the screen and the scanner is red.

Immediately your heart starts hammering in your chest as a cold sweat rolls down your back. This is exactly the readings you saw on your first day Hunting.

"Look out"! You scream just before everything goes white and you hear a high pitched screech and then nothing.

**********************************************************

She was standing off to the side holding Dr. Zayne's phone. Finally it was her turn to watch for important calls or messages and inform him of them. Finally she would be able to get closer to him. Oh how she had dreamed of this day! Luck was finally dealing her the winning hand.

At least that was the cloud nine Mia was currently occupying until the phone actually started soflt vibrating. A quick glance at the screen sent her stomach straight to the pits of ultimate fury. How did this stupid girl have Zayne's number? She was always around him. It made her blood absolutely boil staring down at her stupid smiling face and name on the screen. "Humph"! She scoffed sending the call straight to voicemail. Oh how it delighted her to reject that snake's call.

Well that was until the phone started vibrating again almost immediately. She's calling again?!?! Mia thought wanting to throw the device into and inferno.

I've been in his department for two years and she already has his number?? How dare she deceive my Zayne! She sent the call to voice-mail again. This went on several more times and she was almost giddy at having rejected the call five times. A wide smile made its way onto her face as a text message popped in then. Zayne would never allow anyone to talk to him like that. She was riding this wave for the next hour before finally the surgery was done.

Mia quickly deleted the records of the call and then looked up as Dr. Zayne set down his instruments and gave his final orders. He was handing the last of the surgery duties over to his team. They quickly got to work stitching the patient back up. Dr. Zayne walked over to her and her heart skipped a beat as she watched another nurse help remove his scrubs and gear before finally standing in front of her.

He looks so tired, she thought silently handing over his phone. He accepted it and a deep frown immediately hung over his face. He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Damn, I'm late". He said quietly.

"Is something wrong Dr. Zayne". Mia asked gazing at his face. Mock concern on it. Zayne only looked at her before leaving the room. Mia was confused, while it was true they didn't have much contact, he'd never outright ignored her before. She shrugged it off as tiredness. It had been a six hour surgery after all.

Mia left the surgical wing and went back to the nurses station to write down the report she knew would be expected by the end of the day. However forty-five minutes later she was being summoned to Zayne's office. He had directly written an email and sent it to her. This had never happened before. Mia had attended dozens of surgeries with Zayne before, but never had an email come to her straight from him.

She was so elated that she didn't even notice the looks she was getting as she practically skipped to his office. Word of her misdeeds had traveled around the entire cardiac ward and then some, but Mia hadn't noticed. Too busy floating in the clouds to see the disapproving stares and mock sympathy she was getting.

She stopped only once at the last bathroom before turning to his office to check her hair and makeup. She quickly undid the ponytail her hair had been thrown in before and finger combed the strands before relying it neatly. Adjusting her bangs to fall just right across her forehead and removing all traces of smudged eyeliner. Perfect! She thought glancing once more before leaving.

Standing in front of his office door she cleared her throat and raised her hand to knock, but another hand beat her to it. She turned a withering look on her face but nearly recoiled in shock. Standing to her right was the president of the hospital along with his secretary and another Doctor she couldn't remember the name of.

"Come in". Zayne's deep voice sounded from the other side. The president quickly pushed the door open and strode inside. His secretary looked at her. A woman in her mid thirties with square framed glasses a high ponytail with side swept bangs and piercing golden eyes. She looked like an eagle that had just found her next pray. Mia suddenly felt small, all her early excitement and high dwindling rapidly to nothing.

She walked into the room like a timid mouse searching for the cat she just knew was watching her. "Y-you wanted to see me Dr. Zayne"? His green and gold eyes looked at her. Expression flat, devoid of all emotion and even life. Her body started to trembled as she played with the hem of her uniform shirt.

"Did I receive any calls earlier this morning"? He asked her out right not beating around the bush. "N-no sir, your phone did not ring". She was sweating nervously. Why was she being asked this in front of the president. She wanted the floor to swallow her.

"Is that so". He said and the temperature in the room dropped ten degrees with that single sentance. He wordlessly turned his computer monitor around to show what he was looking at and Mia felt her stomach sink to the floor as she stared at a frozen image of herself holding Zayne's phone. It was clear as day.

"Are you unaware that in addition to their being an observation deck above my operating room there are also cameras all over the place? Are you sure this is the route you wish to take"? He asked as her pressed play on the video. You could clearly see her holding the phone and looking down at the screen when the device lit up. The name couldn't be read from the distance but the picture of you was unmistakable.

Mia lost all composure as she ditched her cover. "Why does she get to have your number and hang around you all the time like some cheap skank? It makes me sick the way she's always coming to the hospital like she owns the place. She doesn't even deserve to breathe the same air as you. She doesn't deserve to breathe at all"! Mia shouted chest heaving from her words and anger. "Who does she even think she is? She's isn't good enough for you"! She went on. There was no coming back from this, Mia had tossed all caution to the wind and she was going down with her sinking ship.

"Are you so self absorbed that you don't even know who my patients are"? Zayne asked, his voice was cold enough to give Mia frostbite as she practically froze. Horror dawning on her as realization started to sink in. "Not that it is any of your business in the first place. She has an extremely rare heart condition and requires weekly checkups to make sure no changes occur. She has my number because I gave it to her....".

Just then the door burst open and several people came in panicked. "Dr. Zayne you need to see this now"! The male shouted grabbing the remote and turning the TV on to the news in a flurry.

"..Minutes ago on the mountain there was an explosion believed to have been cause by metaflux, at the time the train bound for Snowcrest was at the heart of it. As of yet we are unable to get reports of the accident. As you can see drones are trying to get closer bit having no visual luck. The smoke has completely enveloped the accident. We are able to confirm that the train was blasted off the tracks as you can see here". The reported said as a still image filled the screen.

You could clearly see where the tracks ended brokenly and the huge gouge that had been taken as well as the black smoke. All eyes in the room turned to Zayne who had stood abruptly from his chair with such force that it had been knocked over. He scrambled for his phone furiously before tapping and immediately calling someone. The phone went straight to voicemail. Over and over again to no avail, finally he dropped the phone and hung his head brokenly.

He looked up sharply and sent her a withering glare, "The president will deal with you. I need to go". He said directing the last part to the president.

No one said a word as Dr. Zayne left the hospital and drove straight to the train station. He tried calling Dr. Noah, but to no avail. Emergency lines overruled all other communication.

Zayne felt like all his sanity was about to slip away, you were missing and you took his heart with you when you vanished.

*******************************************************

That had been eight days ago, every news outlet was following the story as the very world held its breath. Four rescue attempts had been made with no results. The explosion had stired up all the Wanderers and the area was thick with danger. Rescue workers couldn't fend off the Wanderers and there just weren't enough Deepspace Hunters that could destroy them, protect the rescuers, and look for survivors. All hope seemed to be lost.

As morning dawned on the ninth day something changed, the areas that had previously been inaccessible were suddenly clear. The Wanderer sightings in the first zones had dropped to zero. Even the metaflux readings were bottoming out. Like the forests surrounding the area was reclaiming itself.

Zayne finally ditched the watch the Association had put on him and headed into the wilderness. You the only thing on his mind. He was coming for you no matter what.

*******************************************************

Pain, that was the most prominent feeling you had first as you tried to open your eyes and move. They didn't want to cooperate. Something shuffled near you and then you realized something was holding your hand. At first you were afraid, unable to open your eyes and unable to move. Panic started to set in and with it dizziness. Even though you were already lying down the ground beneath you was spinning. Like a merry-go-round turned on to fast.

Then there was a quiet shushing. "It's alright, please calm down. Your injuries are serious and we have no way to treat them. We barely managed to stop the bleeding. Your eyes have been covered because there were deep cuts on your forehead. In addition your right leg and arm are badly broken. I don't know the extent of all your injuries so please don't move. If it hadn't been for your warning no one but you would have survived. My wife and daughter are alive thanks to you. Please let us help you". A male voice said softly near your ear. A hand brushed your hair back and then there was gentle pressure on your left hand.

A smaller hand had gripped it holding softly. "We managed to put up some shelter, it's been snowing non stop since the accident and the area is not safe. Your watch alerts us to dangers so we're staying hidden. You're a Hunter aren't you"? Those time a female voice was speaking softly. Memories slowly came back, you remembered the family you saw on the train and tears came to your eyes. That family had survived and not only that, protected you at your most vulnerable moments.

With all the strength you had left to muster you squeezed the small hand still holding yours before passing out again. Thankfully in unconsciousness there was no pain and there was also Zayne.

How you missed his cool demeanor and often icy personality. You missed staring into his deep hazel eyes and getting lost in them. You missed him holding you and waking up to him. In your dreams Zayne had already found you and was gently tending all your injuries while hiding how much it pained him to see you in this state.

The next time you woke up all was quiet around you. Carefully you pulled the layers of cloth off your eyes and peered into the dim light. It stung a bit after so much darkness. Huddled around you was a man, woman, and small child. They looked worse for the wear and tou noted cuts, burns, scrapes, and the like on them. Seems they had been extraordinarily lucky to escape with such minor injuries. You took note of the extent of your own injuries for the first time. Breathing hurt if you sucked in air too deeply, seems you can add ribs to the list of broken. Not to mention the burning paid in your side. That was heavily bound with cloth. That must be the bleeding that was hard to stop.

You tried to lift your head but that just sent oy straight back to the world of dreams. All your energy spent on just moving cloth from your eyes and feeling out wounds.

*******************************************************

Zayne was still unsure of the man walking beside him. He sort of knew about your upstairs neighbor and frequent Hunting partner but had never actually met Xavier before. He was quiet hardly speaking and seemed to be emotionless. Taking down every Wanderer that approached.

He hardly even needed Zayne's help, in fact he was pretty sure the man required zero help at all. It was quite a surprise when Xavier had agreed to Zayne's coming along in the first place. He knew there was more that Xavier knew than he would ever let slip. This guy held more secrets than a diary.

When Zayne had told him he was going to find you with ir without his help Xavier relented and off you were. Easily slipping past barriers and blockads headed for the accident zone.

Suddenly Xavier stopped his sled dogs and walked through the trees. In front the train tracks appeared and so did the spot where a huge hole was. Spanning at least thirty feet wide and probably ten feet deep at its center, it was no surprise the train had been blasted off the tracks. One of the cars lay on its top. Windows busted and scorch marks all over the metal. The fire on this one had burned a long time. The smell of burnt wooden, metal, and coal still lingered in the air. The bursting of snow looked odd on the scene. Any tracks that may have been on the snow were long since gone. Dusted over with more snow.

"Not here". Xavier said quietly leading away from the car and walking further away from the train into the woods. The air was dead silent, no animals had been seen in days. Having run away, or too terrified to come out of hiding.

Zayne felt his heart freezing over with the bitter cold. He would not admit the chances of your survival of the explosion until the evidence was thrust right before his eyes.

The hospital had forced him into a personal leave two days after the explosion. He was walking around in a daze, because quite literally his heart was missing. He got angry everytime he thought about what one of the nurses had done. Rejecting your calls like that several times. Her job was terminated that day. The president would not have such a malicious person on staff at Akso hospital. If word got out that patients were treated like that because a nurse thought she was entitled to whatever she wanted their stellar reputation would plummet.

A crunching noise started coming from a few feet in front of them. Xavier dashed forward towards thr sound.

In a makeshift clearing a man was walking their way. He looked beat up and tired as he froze at the sight of them before smiling in joy. It looked like he had been crying.

"Oh thank god"! He cried coming to them in relief. "We need help, the young woman that is with us is hurt real bad. I don't know if she's going to make it. I can't treat her injuries. Zayne felt his blood freeze as a sickening feeling came over him. "Show us". He said and the man immediately turned are hurried back the way he'd come. For the first time Zayne realized there was a tent strung from blankets and branches.

The man pushed the heavy blanket aside and went in. Zayne paused for a moment before he and Xavier followed. As soon as Zayne got a look at who was lying on the ground it felt like his soul left him.

There you were, his heart so battered and hurt he could barely breathe. For the first time Zayne wished he didn't have any medical training ir knowledge. He could easily see every injury and the signs of the ones the untrained eye could not.

A fever had set in and you were shivering despite the blankets on you and the two people huddled near you trying to keep you warm.

"Move aside", Zayne said with a calm he didn't feel. He took his backpack off and immediately searched for the pain medication and bandages. He gave you a shot to dull the pain your broken bones would definitely be giving you. He removed the cloth wrapped around your stomach and examined the injury. He could tell they had tried their best to care for you but lacking any supplies at all it had been a struggle. Signs of infection were already setting in. The jagged cut to your side was deep and would require antibiotics and stitching. Neither of which he had now. He just tried his best to clean the wounds with the basic supplies he had and moves on.

At some point during his treatment, you woke up. Eyes hazy and unfocused. "Zayne can't you find me already"? The fever had made you delirious. "Hurry and come find me Zayne. I can't hold out much longer". He stoked your head and mumbled. I'm looking for you, I'll find you soon. "M'kay". You say before slipping back into a feverish sleep. "We need to get her out of here now". Zayne says to Xavier carefully turning you onto your back and the carefully picking you up.

Your face scrunches in pain and whimpers escape your lips but you do not wake. The pain meds are doing their job, for the most part.

*******************************************************

After what seems like a year later you're waking up. You tense as you realize that you no longer have anyone around you. The little girl is gone and so are the mom and dad.

It takes you almost three minutes to notice that you are lying in a bed now and not on a covered ground with several blankets. Only when you realize that do you also hear the sounds of machines. You blearily open your eyes and see the white walls and the large curtained window on your left.

Zayne is also there, asleep in a chair that just screams uncomfortable. There is a chart in his lap and you realize it's yours. You are glad that you can't read what is written from your angle. You try to turn onto your side and one of the machines starts beeping angrily at you.

Zayne snaps awake instantly and reaches over to press a button. He removes his glasses and rubs his eyes. He must be exhausted. You open your mouth to speak but all that comes out is a whisper. Your mouth is so dry.

Your voice is only a whisper. Instead you try to move your hand. This manages to catch his attention. He is immediately checking you over. Doctor mode has been activated.

"Are you in pain? How is your head"? He fires off questions rapidly. Unable to answer them you point to the water on the table. His gaze follows your finger and he grabs the glass holding the straw for you to sip. "Slowly, not too fast". He gently chides.

"Zayne, you found me". You say not answering any of the questions. "Of course I did". He says matter of factly sitting down and staring at you again. "I know you are too resilient to go down without a fight. You're tougher than that".

You smile softly gazing at him. "I need my heart". He gently takes your hand staring at the ring on your finger. He won't say it but you have certainly put his heart through a beating.

"When can I leave the hospital". You ask and he just sighs. "You're just going to have to stay put for awhile. You're in for a long recovery. The extent of your injuries were no small matter.

"Dr. Zayne I'd like you to return my finacee to me now". You say in a joking manner squeezing his hand.

A long sigh is drawn out from him before he says "just what am I going to do with you"? He leans over and kisses your forehead, both eyelids and then finally your lips.

"I hope you know a person can't live without their heart. Don't make mine disappear again. " You smile, feeling warm with his words.

#love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace zayne x reader #halseyhatter #fic prompt #love and deepspace

[litnerdwrites]

"You shouldn't criticise/analyse SJM's characters/worldbuilding because it just isn't that deep." Is a take I see a lot when someone analyses or criticises SJM, and while I get where you're coming from, I do have a couple of issues with this take.

First of all, it's important to be able to criticise all media, even your your favourites, no matter how good or bad they are. Media of all formats is a product of it's time and goes a long way into helping us learn about the sociopolitical climate of the time it was written, from the past, present or future. As a result, no piece of media can be considered 'perfect' or without points to criticise, and analysing it can give us perspective on issues we may not even realise exist. This is true for most, if not all media, from books to news channels to music or tv shows.

If you don't want to analyse or criticise it though, that's fine. Just ignore posts and videos of people who do, since there's no use in telling them that they're wasting their time. Some people enjoy criticising/analysing the media they consume, but if you don't, then just let them be.

Now, here's the bigger issue I have with this take. It might really not be that deep to you, but it might really be that deep for other people. Especially since SJM books have a pretty young fanbase. The books are YA, and are advertised as being for ages 12 and up.

Many kids, young girls mostly, that read, even just the first book, are shown Feyre forgiving Rhys at the end of the book after SA-ing her for three months or Feyre getting back with Tamlin after he watched her get tortured for three months, and romanticise it. Then there's the second book, where she ends up with Rhysand despite what he did, and even lets him do it again at the CON.

Nesta is pressured by Elain and Feyre to let her use their home for something incredibly dangerous despite her very reasonable concerns, only to then be insulted by Feyre's friends for a situation he wasn't even there for, only for some romance to between them to be hinted at. In Acowar she's further pressured by her sister, and strangers who hate her, to put her healing and coping from her trauma aside to push her clear boundaries to help her sister even more despite her and her friends not having a great track record of holding up their ends of deals from Nesta's experience.

And don't even get me started on the train wreck that was ACOFAS- ACOSF. If these actions and behaviours were acknowledged as being toxic or wrong, that would be fine, somewhat. However, the narrative paints these characters and behaviour in a positive light, despite the fact they aren't. For young readers to look at this, and to idolise these characters and their behaviours, thinking that it's what they want in a partner, is disturbing.

It's fine to not want to critique or thoroughly analyse a book, but discrediting people who do, especially if they're pointing out harmful behaviour being perpetuated in said books, is not. Ignoring the harmful behaviour these books perpetuate is making you a part of the problem, and I truly hope that your view on this behaviour would change if it was coming from a living person instead of a fictional one. Be it towards you or somebody you know.

#sjm critical #acotar critical #acomaf critical #acowar critical #acofas critical #acosf critical #inner circle critical #nesta deserves better #anti rhys #anti inner circle #anti rhysand #pro nesta #anti acosf #anti amren #anti mor

[charlietheepicwriter7]

Despite Danny's best efforts, no matter how much time past, Amity Park refused to see Phantom as a hero.

Sure, there were pockets of support, particularly among teens, but most of the town blames Phantom for the property damage, saying if he didn't fight the ghosts then it wouldn't be so bad, to that time he got mind controlled by Freakshow and "attacked" the mayor. It wears him down. It wears Tucker and Sam down. Jazz can only try to support them all.

Then one day, a member of the Justice League visits. Someone minor, and kinda a jerk... maybe a Wonder Twin? Zan? Whatever. They don't investigate; they don't look deeper. They listen to the town folks and declare the ghost hunters, Red Huntress and the Fentons, to be the official heroes of the town.

Worse? Danny Phantom is officially considered a villain to the Justice League. Tuck hacks into the Watchtower and confirms that they have a file (a heavily inaccurate file) about how to defeat Phantom.

Danny doesn't think he can do this anymore.

A few weeks later, a young villain escapes into Amity and demands (begs) that Danny help them escape from the hero after them. No idea who, I can't find a lot of info on teen villains in DC, so let's fudge some ages and make it Kyd Wyckyd from the Teen Titans cartoon. Danny agrees, because to hell with the Justice Losers, and they defeat the hero, becoming friends in the process. Kyd confesses that they became a villain after being ostracized bc of how they look, and they've been trying to avoid villain organizations because HIVE was abusive, but it's really hard to be a villain alone bc of all the heroes.

Sam gets an idea. Tucker agrees with the idea. Jazz is just happy they'll end up making friends.

The next day, the Teen Villain Alliance is formed, ready to assist with any teenage illegal shenanigans their allies might get into.

Some notes:

It's created to be a healthier option for teen "villains" to connect with others and support each other.

It's more important that this is for Teens rather than Villains. They're tired of adult villains taking advantage of them. The TVA would rather ally with a teen vigilante than with an adult villain.

Again, no idea who the teen villains are, but Klarion is definitely here. He leaves the Light for the chaos of the TVA. Maybe Ember is there too?

Timeline wise, this is around when Tim is still Robin, but Damien has arrived at Wayne Manor.

This is because, when it comes time to try to infiltrate the TVA, they'll have a convenient child-assassin who has none of the monitors of a teen hero that Phantom immediately picks up on.

Damien, who at this point has been abandoned by his mother, dismissed and scolded by his father, and has had no success at carving his own place in the family, jumps at the chance. He is then surrounded by peers who don't insult him or try to change his behavior (too much; jazz is trying to help him find healthier methods of expressing himself). He... might not want to continue being a spy.

Danny, Sam, Tuck, and Jazz are the founding members.

Danny reinvents himself as the High Prince of the Infinite, Prince Phantom Dark. He got kingship from fighting Pariah Dark, but since he's still alive, he's only a prince. He steals the last name Dark as an intimidation tatic against those in the know; only Danny would have the balls to claim family with Pariah.

Sam works as a powerless villain, but she might no be powerless? Either way, Danny gives her a bunch of repurposed Fenton tech, and she buys the rest with her parents credit card. She does NOT care if that's traced back to the Mansons. She would choose something goth, maybe something spider related or even bat?

I love Pharaoh Tucker, so I think he should get magic powers? Since pharaohs of old were considered the balance between the real and the divine. He's still a tech guy, now he's a tech and magic guy.

Jazz isn't really a villain, more of a team mom who's planning on using everyone's psyche's as her thesis paper. You know what, that's her callsign, she's Psyche. Sometimes she flirts with Nightwing.

#dc x dp #villain!everlasting trio #dcxdp #villain danny phantom #teen villain alliance #c: danny fenton #c: sam manson #c: tucker foley #c: jazz fenton #c: kyd wyckyd #c: klarion the witch boy #c: batfamily #c: damien wayne #they don't have an agenda like most villain team ups #they're there to support each other commit crimes and play pranks on the justice losers #dp x dc #dp crossover #dc crossover

[birdantlers]

A heartfelt and grievously expanded-upon update to this—please, please read the whole thing if you can. reblogs much appreciated.

(DISCLAIMER, for all who are saying reasons like abusive parents/legal stuff/toxic ex/triggering memories/page got deleted/job/stalkers/bullying/[[insert any other shitty life thing]], This is not concerning that—personal safety & health ALWAYS comes first, and is worth more than any media ever could be. This is my biggest reason for defending that autonomy. I would be a hypocrite to say I hadn’t deleted triggering posts of mine or ones that got me in trouble with my family.)

it genuinely makes me sad and kinda upset when someone purges all their old art off the internet like. barring harmful content what if someone liked that. What if someone would have. And now nobody will ever know and it's just gone. even people's old invader zim askblogs or whatever getting deleted feels like a micro alexandria to me and that's just something I made up. I wasn't even thinking of a specific one it just stresses me out. Is this the autism I don't get why nobody else seems to freak internally abt it like I do. I see artists whose blogs I've never even looked at go like "man so glad I deleted all my old stuff it's so clean" or saying they throw out art from when they were kids I'm like. how are you not hurling. How is that not distressing that is literally your tree rings why would you do that. I want to see what's out there. people want to see it I promise someone out there likes it

...don't they??? Does everyone get quietly irrationally upset by this as me, or is this just hyperfixation/autism/some amalgam of the two. I'm not a hoarder or obsessive compulsive or anything like that so i wonder..

Anyways. reblog if you had a favorite amateur youtube animator in your childhood whose channel got nuked without a trace one day that you still think about.

I wanted to attach this video because it condenses my point very well. A TLDR of sorts. Please watch the whole thing, it genuinely changed the entire way I think about art as a concept.

(2nd vid is "Subjectivity in Art")

“The moment your art touches an audience, the ownership shifts in an irreversible way. [They're] not having an art experience with you and your intentions. They're having an art experience with the art object.

“You can't just burn your past; it's not even your past to burn anymore. It's other people's history as well. Whether or not you like it, that art is already bonded to somebody's soul, and if you rip the art away, you're ripping a bit of the soul that has adhesive contact to it.”

The digital age makes it very easy to distance or detach yourself from the impact your work has—be it art, fanfic, videos, even memes. Online content is as important to people now as any other media, if not more. But it's also by far the easiest, fastest, and most effective form of it to erase from public access. Media so unbelievably important to people and in general. Yes, you—with the 2010s purple sparkle dog speedpaint. I still think about that speedpaint all the time, because it was the first time i learned that you could draw on a computer, and I thought it was cool as hell. I still do.

I do wish there was a stronger culture of preservation and consideration for this, because every time I see people talk about snuffing their stuff because it doesn't personally resonate with them anymore, I just think ...what about all the people it did?

I've seen lots of people saying "get over it, it doesn't even matter," but it fucking does. It does matter. Even if I didn’t make it, even if I don’t have to deal with being the one who made it, even if I'm naturally inclined to be distressed by it—It still matters. And there’s nothing you could ever say to suddenly make it not matter, because there’s nothing you could ever say to make it not matter to me.

Don't devalue the act of creation. Don't dismiss something you made. It's out there, in people's thoughts and hearts and souls, and that is real. Even if you don't know it. Especially if you don't know it. Especially in a world where physical media is being snuffed out, the internet is constantly dying without any physical remains to recover, social isolation is rampant, and simply because independently produced content online is still media.

Fanfiction can hold equal or greater significance to someone as a book, but you can’t unpublish a book. Authors don’t have a button that can vaporize every copy of their work across all time, but fanfiction authors do. I’m not counting people who download fics either—when you buy a book, that transaction is over. But online, you have the power of unending transaction that can be terminated instantly at your will. The process of publishing fanfic vs. publishing a book may be different, but people’s connection to the art is the same intensity.

So yeah. I do get depressed about the Internet being a constant Alexandria, but the times I get the most depressed is when I click someone's page and see that all their work is gone because they're ‘curating a new aesthetic’ for their page or some shit. Or weeding out all the "ugly" art. Or just went on whatever the hell 'thrill deleting' is, because they just get a kick out of it.

Fuck it—yeah! It upsets me! I’m not wrong to say that. I’m saying it!

Under the cut, because it got long as shit! Also don’t worry the ending is way sappier and more ‘beauty of human nature’ vibe so it’s not all doom and gloom lol

What if that was someone's favorite art of that character. What if someone read that 'cringe oneshot' on the worst day of their life. What if that Warriors meme vid is still burned into a college student’s mind despite being gone for 10 years. What if it's actually not just you and the ones and zeros you rent out to the world—secure in knowing the original will always be on your computer for you to do whatever you want with it.

I really, deeply wish there was more of a general awareness of this, because even though social media can be used like a diary, that’s functionally the opposite of what it is. It’s social media. When you post, it’s no longer in a vacuum, even though you can’t see the real humans that content touches—often deeply.

Media is history. You shouldn’t burn that history just because you personally believe it isn’t worth saving.

Because it’s no longer just your personal opinion. It’s no longer just your personal work. it’s. history. Memory of media is not a suitable replacement for the media itself. If it was, we wouldn’t save anything at all. Nostalgia is an agent of that. The definition of nostalgia is grief for moments of the past that are inaccessible, and the biggest balm for that pain is accessing a physical reminder of those moments. That opinion of yours is no longer personal. It’s weighed against uncountable people across all time that your thing is ALSO personal to. People who would, and will mourn its absence.

How many times have you joined an older fandom only to discover that some of its most popular works are gone? How many times have you routed through random blogs looking for scraps people hopefully reblogged? how many times have you used Wayback machine desperately praying that a fan fiction or a YouTube video will be there? How many times do you look up crunchy old vines or YouTube videos or anime AMV‘s? How many times do you remember old fanfic.net sex that impacted you in middle school, only to shake your head and go ‘probably no point even looking.’

i mourn the absence. No, people can’t and shouldn’t have their agency over what they post revoked, but they should be conscious of that weight. If you’re reading this and getting extremely annoyed, and you’re not in the pink text above,,,, good.

I honestly do hope it gets under your skin. I hope it sits with you. I hope you feel it every time you hit that button, and whether or not you do hit that button—if you hesitate, if you remember this, even spitefully, I’ve done my job. I am howling into the void. And I may not want an answer, but I do want my anguish to be heard and remembered. Because it isn’t me just being melodramatic.

I know I sound that way writing so much, but if my favorite writing YouTuber can drop trow this week and go, "yeah, sorry, all my video essays from less than a year ago that you listen to in the car all the time? I'm "rebranding" my content so i deleted them. besides, my personal views don't really agree align with the analyses i did, or the techniques i taught in them anyway. Sorry if some of the literal tens of thousands of you used them, but I don't want to feel shackled to having youtuber "classics" tied to me”

….then i guess I'm just going to have to sound dramatic! That fucking sucks! Hours of work and knowledge gone! This was a new channel too. It’s very likely there’s no archive of any kind, because who would think someone who worked hard enough to write, record, and edit hour-long videos, would just turn around and nuke it all? I definitely didn’t see it coming, but I did just start a new screenwriting class a few weeks ago, so I’ll tell you at least one person is REALLY missing those fucking videos right now. Because a lot of them were about specifically screenwriting, which I know jack shit about. and that specific person’s pace, editing, and style of breaking down information was the best suited style I found that I could focus on and absorb. There’s no replacement for that. No alternative for his individual perspective. his jokes. his opinions.

No, they may not resonate with him now, but in this decision, he’s put up a big middle finger to everyone who might have. And he has like 100k subscribers! Those are confirmed supporters! Imagine how many silent and untethered observers are feeling this loss right now. Imagine how many will not have it in the future.

If he never posted them at all, we wouldn’t know we had it. It wouldn’t be a loss. But we did. We did have it. Until he decided that no, we didn’t, because he just happens to be the one out of millions of individuals holding the button to burn it in a hundredth of a second.

His personal work, the attachment I had to it, and the ways that it helped me are now just ripped away. I am one person out of millions, literal MILLIONS of people who saw and liked this content before it vanished. The soul has been ripped, the access severed, and by CJ’s (and my) definition, the art is functionally dead. Not for the YouTuber or anyone else lucky enough to save a link or download, but everyone else. From this point until the end of time, even if people even two weeks from now don’t know it. Even if someone who stumbles upon his channel today, doesn’t know it.

We only mourn the concept of Alexandria because we had some kind of scope for what was inside. Yes, maybe you got self-conscious and deleted your 12 year old deviant art account. Do you know who else is doing that?? THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of other twenty somethings who ALSO feel self-conscious about their old socials. Art. Fanfic. One direction fan videos. anything.

Suddenly, an unquantifiable amount of information from your age group—an entire age group in 2012, is. gone. And we will NEVER know what’s been erased from that history. We will NEVER know what could have been significant to us ten years from now. Twenty years from now. A hundred years. A thousand.

You could have deleted a fanfic that would have been someone else’s new go-to panic attack distraction tomorrow. You could have deleted a video someone used to laugh at with their friend who died yesterday. When you delete something, you risk tearing a hole in unknowable personal histories.

The Internet isn’t just a big library of Alexandria. It’s a library containing libraries. And those libraries have their own libraries in those libraries have their own as well. libraries inside libraries, inside libraries, ad infinitum. To conceive the amount of destroyed history on the Internet is crushing.

And I just can’t help but I ask myself how in gods name people can choose to contribute to that, instead of reposting everything to trash heap alts titled “hall of shame” or some shit.

You can offload to alts. Put up disclaimers. Make password locked blogs, or dropboxes, or anonymous imgur dumps. Anonymous reuploads. Orphan fics. Make a playlist or linktree of unlisted videos. Cut off the watermarks. Delete all references to it on your main. Make a dedicated unlisted playlist. make a google drive. Make new portfolio sites. Delete any questions you get about it. Change pen names. Pretend it never existed.

Give a heads up.

Something.

But don’t. kill. the media.

The knowledge that our stuff is going to forever be tied to us is a cross we have to bear, but the responsibility that comes with putting it out there in the first place, can’t be ignored.

Anyway. I'm not trying to start conflict. This is not a bash on anyone, nor a call for witch hunts. Or anon hate, or blocks and unfollows or anything of that nature. I'm not wishing ramifications or hate of any kind on anyone who does wants to do any of this.

I'm also not guilt tripping— I am not saying that you should feel bad. I AM saying why it makes me feel bad. That’s not guilting, it’s a dialogue. One I personally feel is long overdue.

It's me yelling into the void: please consider the real people on the other side of the screen before you hit that button. Realize and know that whatever you're about to erase from history could be the most important thing in the world to someone.

Art is an experience. It's why we revisit it. If art and history simply lived in the matter and code of media, we would only need to look at it once. We wouldn’t put things in museums. We wouldn’t build libraries. We wouldn’t look up vine compilations.

If you're able, consider (and I do mean consider, this is not a call to action) not destroying that. And don’t shrug it off as some pretentious asshole venting on Tumblr. You only need to look in the notes and tags to see that it isn’t just me. it’s never just me, or you, or the pixels.

And even if you do shrug it off, then at least recognize that what you make matters. Whatever you think about it, if it’s out there, that's not your discretion anymore. If a tree falls in the woods and even one person is around to see it, it fucking mattered. Because it happened. Don’t mulch your tree rings if you don’t have to. Because if enough people do it, a whole forest is gone. Media is history, no matter whether you think it’s worth putting in a museum, or only has 30 notes.

Thousands of years ago, a child named onfim doodled on his homework. They’re crude, and everyone has the wrong amount of fingers, and they’re also priceless archaeological artifacts recognizable throughout the world.

the only thing separating Onfim’s doodles and your MS paint Pokémon doodles is time. The only thing separating your old MS paint Pokémon doodles from being a priceless artifacts, thousands of years in the future is time. Your creations are already priceless artifacts. No matter what you do, don't ever, ever deny that. It isn’t blowing up your own ass, it’s artistic and anthropological fact.

The mundane and the supposedly unworthy are often the first things lost to time, and that’s why they’re so precious. That’s why artists who were before their time are scorned first only to be celebrated later. Do you think they knew that was going to happen?? What if they nuked it? Many probably did! But now that’s happening exponentially and instantaneously everywhere, WITHOUT the artist having to destroy their only copy—which makes it way easier and more dismissable.

Sometimes, If you’re revolutionary enough, people will make an effort to preserve your work, but recognized and thoroughly recorded work is rare compared to unrecognized and thoroughly recorded work.

Sometimes something is beloved enough that it would be impossible for it not to go down in history, but even then it isnt a guarantee, and it’s rare. But if van Gogh burned all of his paintings in a fit of despair before his death, we would have no van Gogh. Because he wasn’t respected as an artist in his time, but that wasn’t what defined the worth of his art. The people after him did, because his art was still there for them.

If you rip the art away, you're ripping a bit of the soul that has adhesive contact to it. If you belittle your art, you belittle the very real relationships and emotions and revisitations people have with the media. You defy the inherent worth and weight of a creation. you created. That's effort. It's passion. No matter how flippant or unskilled or worthless you think it is, it matters. Because at the end of the day, you could have chosen to make nothing at all, and you didn't.

•

Muting notifs

#artists on tumblr #Artistic #digital art #art history #anthropology #humanity #art discussion #art theory #skit yells

[thebibliosphere]

I both believe "poor people deserve art" and "artists deserve food", but it's hard to reconcile those beliefs. I blame capitalism. And I suppose it mostly matters who you're stealing from?

I don't mean to question you at all, I'm against people pirating your stories. I guess I was just wondering if you had more thoughts regarding the reconciliation the two beliefs I quoted above.

I think the reconciliation is working toward a future where things are better, and authors and artists don't have to beg people not to steal from them because they think every author is Stephen King, who wouldn't notice if you stole the pennies found under his couch when in reality most of us are hunting for spare change down the back of the couch because we are earning below minimum wage.

We need people to embrace the idea that art belongs to the working class, both in terms of consumption but also creation.

If you don't support the working-class creators, you'll only end up with rich fucks with no scope of the world beyond their own narrow view of privilege.

Indie creators are actually working very hard to change the way the industry works, and the publishing industry is shitting itself over it. They don't like the success some of us are having. It's why they keep upping prices while slashing corners on their own production (while never affecting the man at the top) to try and stay competitive within the rat race they've created.

They're not interested in the proliferation of art. They're not interested in making sure their authors can afford to live. They don't want more diversity. They don't want inclusion. They want profit at whatever the cost.

And while indie creators very much need to get paid because we live in a capitalistic society and everything is burning down around us, and a carton of eggs now costs more than what I earn per hour, our creativity is directly at odds with the type of profiteering big publishers want.

The money should go to the writers. Not the CEOs. The money should go to the workers in the print houses. Not the CEOs. No one needs the kind of wealth these people have. It's obscene. We need direct action against these conglomerates. We need unionization. We need a means to fight back so that we can make art and make it accessible.

So, how do we do that? I don't know. I'm just a very tired, disabled creator doing my best to keep my head above water. But I think getting people to realize that art and books are worth saving up for would be a good start.

That putting money in the pockets of creators is just as important as your own enjoyment of their art. Because if there aren't any artists, you've got nothing.

Getting them involved with their local libraries would also be a great start. Educating them on how the industry works is part of that. The number of people telling me they had no idea libraries paid authors is staggering. And that's intentional. It's a by-product of right-wing propaganda to make you think libraries are worthless and just sap taxpayers' money.

They're not.

If they were, the fash wouldn't be trying so hard to take them away.

Basically, we need working-class solidarity and for certain people on the left to rid themselves of the idea that just because something isn't borne of manual labor, it doesn't have worth. We need the artists and the dreamers as much as we need to bricklayers and the craftsmen. Otherwise, what's the fucking point of it all?

#sorry #this isn't an actionable answer to your question #I don't know what that answer is #I just need people to realize art is not the exclusive creation of the wealthy #and treating it as such is making everything worse

[acutecoral]

Transcript for Quackity's recent stream

[Quackity start talking around 1:03 in, but before he speaks you can hear him breathe and sniffle a little]

Quackity: Hello everyone, uh…uh, I'm just waiting for enough people to get here. This is a very important stream. So I'm just going to wait a little bit.

Quackity: Um…[sharp intake of breath] Hello! I hope everyone is having a good night. I'm doing an urgent stream. Only to keep everyone updated on everything that's happening.

Quackity: I wanna apologise for this scuffed stream. I'm not on any of my set-ups right now, I wasn't expecting to stream right now so I don't even have a camera. But I wanna to let everyone know, that I've been out and I'm catching up on a lot of matters right now…

Quackity: Including a statement, that was just now, made without my approval.

Quackity: I've been notified, about an ongoing situation regarding Quackity Studios and I want to address it. Please bear with me as I'm barely catching up on a lot of these matters.

[He sniffles again]

Quackity: One gathering is that volunteers for Quackity Studios: are not being paid and are being given too many hours of activities.

Quackity: I wanna let everyone know that I was aware of a voluntary position, and I was under the assumption that there was a process volunteers would go through, to integrate themselves to the team with a fully paying job. What I was not aware of, is to what extent and conditions were being required from the volunteers.

Quackity: And I wanna thank everyone who brought this to my attention, because it is very clear to me that I need a much deeper involvement in the administrative part of my team. Something I have not been very involved with recently.

Quackity: I'm gonna perform a deep investigation, personally, on this matter as to see exactly what's happening. But one thing is very clear to me.

Quackity: There are going to be very drastic changes in QSMP moving forward. From the administrative perspective, and from the creative perspective as well.

Quackity: My responsibility relies on knowing what is happening in the project I am running. And for not being more involved? I want to deeply apologise. This should have never happened, and I am extremely disappointed.

Quackity: From here on out, I wanna make one thing clear: Everybody involved in Quackity Studios will be paid. And if at any point my own funds are not sufficient enough to pay workers or maintain the project? Then the QSMP cannot continue and it will close down. That's how committed I am to this project.

Quackity: So I wanted to make that extremely, extremely clear as to where I stand on this.

[Quackity in the next line sounds choked up]

Quackity: And this…n-next topic is very difficult for me to process, and it's an extremely sensitive thing, and I was waiting for the correct time for me but…that can wait, no longer. And I need to let everyone know that Wilbur is no longer a part of the QSMP.

Quackity: Lastly, I wanna thank everyone for their patience. This…year…has been very turbulent…for me. And I'm going to be very open; it's been one of the saddest years of my life.

Quackity: I'm trying to move forward and give everyone the best version of myself, and I'm very, very sorry if I've disappointed you.

Quackity: But…nonetheless, I gotta keep moving forward and I'm gonna keep working hard and I'm going to do what's right. And I wanna make this very clear.

Quackity: So thank you everyone. And um, yeah, I hope everyone has a good night. Thank you.

#qsmp #qsmp posts #quackity #qsmp transcriptions #our hearts go out to him #we hope things shift to a better direction

[heeliopheelia]

𝐄𝐍𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐒/𝐎

part 2

genre: angst, established relationship

word count: 2.9k

warnings: curse words (and some of the boys are really cruel to yn :()

masterlist

LEE HEESEUNG

"Please, can we talk about this tomorrow?" Heeseung groans as he slumps down on the couch, rubbing his face with his hands. He really doesn't want to get mad at you at such late hour but he can't help it when you keep talking his ear off from the moment that he's walked into your shared apartment. "I'm dead tired, just let it go for now, okay?"

"I'm not sleeping with you today," you scoff, not even daring a look at him so that he doesn't notice the tears of frustration that have started brimming in your eyes.

You've just found out from one of Heeseung's friends that he's been out with his ex for almost the entire day. Without telling you a word about it. Normally, you weren't the jealous type as you trust your boyfriend with your whole heart. But after hearing that he's been having the time of his life with the girl that once has broken his heart, while you were at home waiting for him to come back, your thoughts drifted onto a completely different track.

"Why? Fuck, so what if I saw her today?' He exclaims, slapping his thighs with a breathless laugh. "Nothing happened! She just wanted to talk, YN! Talk. Stop trying to turn it into something that it's not."

"Then why didn't you even bother telling me that you were meeting her?" You ask, involuntarily letting yourself get emotional and raising your voice as well. "Who even does shit like that?"

"I just didn't think it would matter so much to you, that's all. I thought you trusted me a little more!"

"So you're saying that if I were to hang out with my ex and didn't tell you anything about it, you'd be fine with it?" You snort when he nods his head. "Alright, yeah. Watch out cause I almost believed you."

"God, you're just like her! Why would I ever think of cheating on you with her when the two of you are exactly alike?" Heeseung ignores the hurt look on your face and keeps on talking nonsense, fueled up by anger. "Both have trust issues. Both are ridiculously jealous. Both are way too clingy for anybody to bear. Fucking twins!"

You laugh in disbelief as you stand up from the couch. "Why are we even in this relationship if I'm so fucking unlovable to you?"

"Good question," he quietly murmurs.

You don't bother to wait for his apology or pleads for you to stay as you know he's way too deep in his anger to even start acknowledging your feelings now. You don't even have the strength to slam the door, so you just quietly let them shut behind you as you walk out on the dark street.

PARK JAY

You cross your arms over your chest, watching as your boyfriend finishes getting dressed for work. He said he would take the day off today but he obviously forgot to do so and now is leaving you hanging onto another empty promise.

"You're twisting my words! I just said you promised you would stay with me today, that's all."

"Well and I said I forgot! End of story," Jay grumbles at you, dismissing you with a wave of his hand. "Whatever, I don't have time for this right now."

"You never do!" You raise your voice involuntarily and turn your face away as you feel the tears gathering in your eyes. How could he forget? "Not even once have I ever been prioritized while being in this relationship with you! And it's not like you even have anything important to do today!"

"We're not having this conversation again," he laughs breathlessly, threading his fingers through his hair. "My boss called me and said he needs my help. Of course my job is gonna come first in a situation like that, YN! After all this time, I thought you'd be more understanding by now."

"Yeah, it's just there are days where I want to be put first for a change. It's not like I ask you for that every week!"

You can't help but let the tears drop down your cheeks, failing to hide your emotions for any longer. You're right, though. Jay knows it too. You never complained about his work or asked him to take the day off, unless the date was important to you. It's just too bad he was too much in his own head to think about it for a little longer.

"I can always take the day off next week!" Jay says with a roll of his eyes. "And, god, why do you always have to cry?"

"Because it's my fucking birthday, you asshole," you breathe out in a broken voice before standing up from the bed.

Jay's eyes almost double in their size as he lets your words repeat in his mind. Birthday. It's your birthday. He tries to grab your wrist as you walk past him but you jerk it away from him.

"YN, I-"

"I don't wanna talk to you right now."

You rush out of the bedroom. Slamming the bathroom door behind you, you slide to the ground and bury your head in your hands, finally letting out the sob that's been weighting on your throat throughout the entire morning. 

SIM JAKE

As you walk out of the restaurant angrily, you dial Jake's number. It's the fourth time you've been stood up by him like that, sitting completely embarrassed and alone at the table reserved for two. Jake was supposed to meet you here forty minutes ago and while at first you waited patiently for him, knowing his schedule is rather tight, after half and hour of having your calls not answered, you started losing your cool.

"Hi, baby. What's up?" You hear his cheerful voice from the other side of the phone.

"Nothing much besides the fact that I've been stood up by my boyfriend once again this week," you reply in a rather passive aggressive manner as you open the door of your car. "How was your day, babe?"

Jake keeps silent for a second or two before a groan leaves his throat. "Fuck, it completely slipped out my mind. I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you should be," you nearly growl, starting your car. You curse quietly when the engine stutters and chokes but doesn't want to start by the first two times. "I waited forty minutes for you, jackass."

"Shit, are you still there? Just wait a little more and I'll be there soon, I promise."

You scoff loudly. "You've got some nerve, I'll give you that, Jake."

You can hear him sigh heavily and you can just picture how he's pinching the bridge of his nose at the moment. "Can you stop that? I already apologized. I'm sorry that I have to work."

"Oh, you're very welcome." You grit your teeth, keeping your phone pressed between your ear and shoulder as you drive out of the parking lot. "Would it really kill you to remember about me even once?"

"YN, you're not being fair right now," he says and you know he's pushing himself to his limits to not raise his voice at you. "Look, one of us has to actually make some money. I can't keep my head wrapped around everything."

"Oh, yeah? So you're at work right now?"

He stutters slightly. Got him. "Well, no I-"

"Jake, are you coming, man?"

Hearing Heeseung's voice shouting on the other line makes your fingers clench on the wheel tightly. You breathe in sharply and let out a short laugh. "Good to know what your priorities are, Jake."

"No, wait, I'm-"

You interrupt him again before ending the call, "Don't bother."

PARK SUNGHOON

You breathe out in relief when you hear the familiar sound of Sunghoon's car pulling up on the driveway. He hasn't been answering any of your calls since the afternoon and you really started getting worried. You've been arguing with each other throughout the couple past weeks and you took notice of how distanced he's become towards you. You've attempted to fix that but it's a really hard task to do with your boyfriend being as stubborn as he is.

"Oh my god, I was so worried about you," you say the second when Sunghoon walks into your house. "Where have you been?"

He only nods his head at you in acknowledgement and toes his shoes off wordlessly. You frown slightly at his sudden muteness and put the sizzling pan aside.

"I made you dinner, figured you'd be hungry," you start again and only get disappointed when he dismisses you curtly.

"I'm not."

Pressing your lips together, you nod your head slightly before following him to the living room and taking a seat next to him, not close enough to irk him any further though. The two of you sit in silence, mindlessly watching the random channel that Sunghoon played. He has his arms folded on his chest and you wonder what went so wrong that he suddenly turned so cold towards you.

So you try again, speaking with a soft voice. "Why didn't you answer my calls today?"

You feel your whole body tensing when he lets out a groan. "Cause I didn't want you distracting me."

"Okay, what the hell is up with you, Hoon? Why the attitude?" You ask, turning away from the TV screen to look at your boyfriend's frowned up face.

You don't miss the roll of his eyes as he clicks his tongue. "For fuck's sake, if I knew you'd be this needy today, I would've stayed out longer."

You try not to show how much his words hurt you but the look on your face tells him a completely different story. You clear your throat and decide on voicing the thought that's made itself way too comfortable in your mind during the past few weeks. "Sometimes I just feel like you don't love me anymore."

"Well, maybe I would've loved you a little more if you stopped being so clingy. Seriously, fifteen calls, YN! Who the hell does that?"

Silence. His hurtful words linger in the air heavily and you both say nothing. You avoid his eyes, lips slightly trembling from the heartbreak. Sunghoon still says nothing as you stand up from the couch and leave the room in a rush.

KIM SUNOO

"Do you even hear yourself? Why would she be lying?" Sunoo shouts at you as he crosses his arms defensively.

You're gripping the edge of your sleeve tightly, trying to prevent yourself from raising your voice as well. Even though you're keeping cool, his words and accusations stab your heart with dozens of needles. Having your boyfriend believing his friend rather than you has got to be one of the worst feelings in the world.

"And why would I be lying?" You ask, glaring him down. "Why would I, your girlfriend, lie about my whereabouts? For fun?"

He scoffs at you,. "Well, you didn't tell me you were hanging out with Sunghoon, did you?"

"No, because I wasn't hanging out with him, we just stumbled upon each other on my way back," you explain calmly as you clench your sleeve even tighter from frustration. "We literally talked for five minutes."

"That's not what what I've heard."

You roll your eyes at his stubbornness. "Yeah, cause what else would a person that's been in love with you for two years tell you?" You can't really help the sarcastic tone that's sneaked itself into your speech and you can see it only irks Sunoo more as he nearly scowls at you.

But all that you've said is the truth. Since the beginning of your relationship, you've noticed his best friend's spiteful looks thrown your way along with the heart-eyes directed at Sunoo. You've kept quiet for all this time, not saying a word even when he ditched you for her or made plans without your knowing. But this, this is just too much for you.

"You don't know what you're talking about," he has the audacity to laugh at you.

"No, Sunoo, it hurts me, you know?" You finally let all of your feelings that have been crumpled inside you for all these years. "Do you ever even try to acknowledge my feelings when you hang out with her?"

"Don't turn this on me right now. And I'm not allowed to have female friends now? What kind of a girlfriend even are you?"

You get up from his bed and scoff at him. "And what kind of a boyfriend accuses his girlfriend of cheating while he sneaks out without her knowledge to meet up with his best friend?"

With that, you turn on your heel and leave his apartment, slamming the door behind you.

YANG JUNGWON

"That's not what friends do, YN! Are you even listening to me?"

"I am but you're being ridiculous!" You bite back at your boyfriend, walking back from a lunch with your best friend.

Throughout the entire meal she's been throwing jabs and snarly remarks at you, and although you've already grown used to her attitude, Jungwon just couldn't let that slide. He thinks it's illogical that someone you've been calling your friend for such a long time, would act so mean and nearly insulting towards you.

"I don't understand how can you let her speak to you that way," he breathes out in disbelief. "I wanted to spit in her face after an hour of talking to her, why do you let her do this to you all the time?"

"Because she's my best friend, Won!" You try to stay your ground as you dig into your purse, looking for your keys. "That's just how she is. I've learnt not to take any offence in that. You shouldn't either."

"I just care about you, so forgive me for not liking it when someone insults my girlfriend!"

You sigh, feeling tired from the night and the ongoing argument. "I know you do but I don't see it that way. She's just rough around the edges, that's all."

"Of course you don't see it. All you need is constant validation. You just can't live with the thought of somebody not liking you. You'd let a stranger walk all over you only if it meant you had gotten his approval. That's not fucking healthy, YN!"

"How can you even say that to me? Why would you-," you stop yourself from engaging in this conversation and slump your shoulders with resignation. "I don't wanna do this anymore."

Jungwon sends you a confused look. "What do you mean?"

"I just want to be alone right now," you say and Jungwon can clearly hear the exhaustion in your tone. "I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks for walking me back."

NISHIMURA RIKI

The moment that you hear the door slamming, you sigh as you realize it's one of these days again. For the past week or so, Niki has been coming home frustrated beyond words but not even once has he said what was bothering him. Sure, you've tried to intervene and ask him what's was it all about but he always dismissed you quickly. It hurts you to think that maybe he doesn't trust you enough to confide in you like that.

"Hi," you greet him as you stand up from the couch. You walk over to your boyfriend and wrap your arms around his neck in an attempt of hugging him but only get disappointed when you feel his body tense up. You pull away and look at him pointedly. "Another bad day?"

Niki hums and moves away from you, going into the direction of the kitchen. You follow him, feeling worried for him as you know he has the tendencies of bottling up his emotions inside.

"Wait! Don't ignore me again," you scolded him slightly, forcing yourself to stay calm and speak with the soft tone. You grab him by his forearm. "Niki?"

"Let go of me," he breathes out, voice heavy and your heart screams at the thought of him deciding to struggle with all of it by himself again.

You do as he asks and free his arm instantly. "Okay. Just talk to me, please?"

"There's nothing to talk about, Yn!" He snaps at you and runs his hand through his hair. "Stop pressing me!"

"No, you always keep acting like everything's fine when it's clearly not! I don't want you to keep it all to yourself. I want you to feel like you can talk to me about stuff like that," you explain, trying to keep him on your side. "I want to help you!"

"I don't need your help, though!" He scowls, sending you a sharp look. "If I knew you'd be sticking your nose into my business the second I walked through the door, I wouldn't even bother coming back."

"Hey, that's so cruel and uncalled for, Niki," you gasp slightly, feeling his words pulling at your heart again. "You're my boyfriend, of course I care about you! I hate seeing you like that but you just won't let me understand what's going on with you!"

"Are you my psychiatrist or my girlfriend? Jesus, I'm not in the mood for that right now," he sighs heavily and walks past you straight for the door.

"No, wait!" You call after him but you're too late and he's already slamming the door behind his back.

permanent taglist: @bambisgirl @arizejkt19

#i dont think id forgive all of them so easily in the real life lmao #hoon especially yeah i kinda went off with that one im sorry #enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen x reader #enhypen reactions #enhypen reaction #enhypen angst

[charmedreincarnation]

When I say that this journey is real, and our struggles are not in vain, I am shouting it from the rooftops. A month ago, I woke up with my dream life. Obsessed with the "void state", I woke up one day being the same person but with an entirely new life. All because I chose it.

Your efforts aren't going unnoticed. The universe is always on your side. You are the universe. It's been a month, and I still feel overwhelmed with joy and wonder every single day.

I was once poor and battling depression, a reality many can relate to. But we found the law because we knew we deserved more. You can be ordinary, flawed, even unkind, but you can choose to transform and have it all. And I did just that. My parents, who were illegal immigrants working underpaid jobs, are now wealthy and respected figures. My last name alone garners recognition, and I am a socialite earning money just by being me.

I used to live in an attic infested with cockroaches. Now, I reside in a four-story mansion, complete with exotic cars, house help, cooks, drivers - all treated and compensated fairly. We also own three other houses across the United States.

I was once insecure, severely underweight, and bullied. Today, not only am I stunningly beautiful, but I am also praised for my fashion sense. I was once a dull person, but now I am radiant with positivity.

I attended an underfunded school where I was bullied, and teachers lacked resources to intervene. Now, I study at a prestigious private school that assures my entry into an Ivy League university. Finally, I am respected and appreciated.

I was lonely and uninteresting. Now, I am vibrant with a close-knit group of friends and a man who seems straight out of a Wattpad story. He's perfect, and he's mine.

This transformation happened overnight. And I've been on this journey since 2020. But how??? I surrendered to my imagination!

The void was overwhelming, but now I can easily navigate it. I was tired of giving my power away. So, I gave in to myself, to my dreams. I knew I deserved it. Even if I didn't believe it at times, I made the choice. If you desire something, it's already yours. It's done.

I didn't have a list or anything of my desires, just a vision of happiness. I didn't know what it looked like, but I knew how it felt. Now, I embody that feeling every day. My life is a series of plot twists. It's not perfect, but my worst days now are what I once prayed for. That old life? POOF It's gone. All I have is now, and I'm living it to the fullest.

My advice?

Stop seeking proof. If you're looking for proof, you'll never manifest your dreams because the only thing that needs to change is self. Doubt is a reflection of your disbelief in yourself. When I surrendered to my imagination, it didn't matter who was lying or telling the truth, because I had my truth. The burden of proof lies within you. It's called the law of assumption. You might harbor some doubt, but you must have faith like the devout. They believe without proof. You can too! We all can! Believe in yourself, and the universe will conspire in your favor!!!!

I agree! Your words resonated with me a lot. Faith, particularly self-faith, is such an important tool in shaping our realities. The ability to trust ourselves, our desires, and our potential is essential in manifesting our dream life, and it’s only so beautiful to slowly see yourself give yourself all your trust when you’ve never even liked yourself.

You're spot on about the issue of seeking confirmation from others. It's an unnecessary hurdle that we give ourselves but it’s human nature. Our truths and dreams should not be validated by anyone else but us. As you said, why should it matter if someone lied or told the truth? We are the creators of our own lives and thus, the only validation we need comes from within.

And I wholeheartedly agree with your point about deservingness. We don't have to earn our desires or prove ourselves worthy of them. If we want something, that desire alone makes us deserving of it.

More importantly I am very proud and happy for you !!!! You’re a testament of what our own imagination can do for us and I hope you only keep getting happier and happier <3!!!!

#sucess story #manifestation #law of assumption #dream life

[covington-shenanigans]

so I'm on this app, Marco Polo, where you stay in touch with people by means of sending video messages. (there are probably other features, but I'm a free user, so I remain blissfully ignorant of them.) mostly I use it to annoy my sister. ("BITCH WHAT IF I GOT A PHALLOPLASTY AND HAD A BABY SHOWER FOR MY DICK. WE COULD HAVE ZUCCHINI FRITTERS. DICK-SHAPED PASTA. BANANAS FOSTER. DO U SEE MY VISION")

anyway, during the Hell Year of 2020, I saw my childhood best friend (let's call her Lee) was on this app. and like.

when I say "my childhood best friend", I mean the Weird Girl next door, who saw the Weird Girl that I was. I mean the girl I played with from age five until just shy of eleven, when my family moved away. I mean the girl I played with every day, for hours and hours, making up all kinds of elaborate scenarios involving our menagerie of stuffed animals. there were multiple overlapping, soap opera-style plotlines that lasted for years. there was drama. heartbreak. glory. she was the first friend I remember having. she was the first girl I ever loved, in my five-year-old way.

well, I hadn't seen Lee in at least 20 years and I was like, "holy shit! Lee!!!" so I sent her a "hey, nice to see you here, how you been" message.

again, this was late 2020.

now, I had been on T for a scant three months when I sent the first message, so I was a mere baby child, relative to the gruff manly man I am now. no beard, my voice had only started to wobble, still had tits... you get it. keep this in mind, it'll be important later.

I never heard back from her, but we're both Old, so I was like "eh, she probably forgot she installed the app" and forgot about it. we'd exchanged text messages at some point during the Hell Year, but like many people my age she doesn't really text, and I'm not calling anyone if I don't have to, so our communication had been sporadic, at best.

well. today I got a notification that she sent me a reply on Marco Polo.

I figured, well, she's replying to me 3.5 years late, but better late than never. I have ADHD and no friendship degradation mechanic, so I'm excited! yay! friend! :D

and then I remember. "...oh shit. she doesn't know I'm trans."

so. the thing is. I'm from Mississippi, which is. very very fucking conservative. I know Lee grew up Southern Baptist. I also know she's still living in the same town where we grew up and where she eventually graduated from high school and college. last I checked she was still attending the same Southern Baptist church where she grew up and her remaining living parent is still living in Lee's childhood home.

so this is either going to be Fine or it's going to be a disaster. lol.

in thinking it through, I figure either she's seen my updated profile pic, where I have the beard etc., or she hasn't. so either she's going to acknowledge this change or she isn't. okay. these are the possibilities. so I watch the message.

...the secret third option is... she seems to not realize when I sent the message? "sorry, I missed this when I was at work!" girl. what? I mean, you probably did miss it while you were at work... three and a half years ago. possibly she meant to reply to someone else and got me instead?

whatever. who knows. doesn't matter.

because I have the opportunity to do the funniest fucking thing in the world now

#covington-shenanigans gets personal #story time #marco polo #trans stuff #childhood friends #trans man #transmasc #trans men

[chosaya]

BITTERSWEET VENGEANCE !

synopsis : Nothing is better than getting revenge on your cheating husband!

warning: angst. smut, overstimulation, pussy eating, creampie +aftercare, cursing, cheater! nanami, revenge, best friends to lovers trope.

Wc: 2.8k

Marriage is something that binds people closer together but not in this case.

They had gone through thick and thin together, supporting each other in times of need and always standing by each other's sides. No matter what life decided to throw at them, they faced it together as one.

Nanami and you have been married for a couple of years now. Things have been distant between the two of them every time he comes home now. Before, he used to kiss your forehead every time he came from work, and would always tell you how his day was going. Now, all he does is brush you off as if you are bothering him and ignore you.

You have tried to ask him what is wrong in the past , but he never gives you a straight answer. You can't help but feel like something is wrong and the distance between the two of you keeps growing. You don't know what to do anymore, but you know that if you don't figure out what the problem is soon, you are afraid that your marriage is in danger.

There had been a small part of you that hoped today would be different from the hectic week you had. As soon as you saw the calendar that marked your anniversary, you smiled to yourself. You knew very well that this was going to be one of the most special days for you two.

You felt a wave of disappointment as the time passed and he hadn't shown up yet…

You tried to remind yourself that it wasn't always going to be easy and that sometimes people have things that come up but you couldn't help but feel a little hurt by his negligence. You sighed as you looked at the clock again, waiting for him to show up.

There was a spread displayed on the dining table, together with a bouquet of rose petals, candles, platters of his favorite foods, along with a bunch of rose petals as well, as well as a bunch of rose petals as well. The clock began ticking as the time passed and still no sign of him could be seen. It was getting later and later as time passed, but there was still no response back or call.

He couldn’t forget the most important day of your lives could he?

In the beginning, your husband started coming home late and became unresponsive to your phone calls and text messages. You were concerned, yet hopeful that he was simply caught up in something at work.

While sitting in your living room one evening, you heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway as suddenly as you heard it come up the driveway.

It was a surprise for you when you found out that your husband was going to arrive home later than he normally would, even though this is not something that he would have done. As you got up from your seat, you stepped up with a sense of frustration that was tinged with worry.

Whenever your husband Nanami entered the house, his warm smile would always light up your face, and he would kiss your forehead before telling you about his day over dinner, which he always gave upon entering. But this time, something had changed.

Today, he did not appear to put a smile on his face, and he seemed as if he was in a somber state of mind.

You couldn't help but feel a sense of unease, wondering what could have happened to cause this sudden change in his demeanor. Was it work-related stress? Or perhaps something more personal? As you tried to make sense of the situation, your mind was flooded with questions.

The once comfortable and familiar atmosphere of your home now felt tinged with uncertainty.

Thinking it was just because he had a bad day at work, you'd shrug it off, assuming that your husband needed some time alone.

You were so wrong..

You approached Nanami later that day cautiously, unsure of how to address the situation. "Is everything alright kento?" you asked, your voice filled with genuine concern. But he merely nodded, avoiding eye contact, and headed straight to the bedroom without uttering a word. Confusion and worry engulfed you as you stood there, left with more questions than answers.

No advil.

There was a lot of pressure on you to give him space, as you were hoping that the time alone would help him overcome whatever it was that was bothering him. Yet, deep down, you knew that there was something more than meets the eye when it came to his behavior.

It was as if there were some deeper meaning behind it. Several signs indicated that something was wrong when he was coming home late at night, his calls being unanswered, and the absence of his warm smile at those times as he tells you about this day.

Having finally convinced him that you are serious about trying to resolve the issue, you tried to speak to him in a full and candid way about it, trying to voice out your thoughts.

“Nanami, why have you been ignoring me and answering my calls lately?. Did I do something wrong..” You asked him sitting across from the couch, crossing your arms over your shoulder awaiting his response.

“I’m sorry baby, work has been stressing me out lately. I became exhausted afterwards.” He replied back, a sigh escaping his lips before setting down the mug on the coffee table to face your direction.

“enough to forget our anniversary? without a fucking text or anything..” you spat out angrily as your eyebrows furrowed together in frustration, crossing your legs over one another.

“Of course not, I brought you home a bouquet of flowers and one more thing..” you huffed out for a moment before nanami handed you the freshly picked flowers and a beautiful diamond necklace with your name carved into it, all your thoughts were washed away as he did this.

“Aw baby this is beautiful but—.” you continued to speak but interrupted by nanami before you could.

“I know you're still mad about me being late, so how about lunch at your favorite restaurant tomorrow?” you couldn’t help but smile at his works, holding the flower in your arms tightly.

“Fine but don’t break this promise kento, I’m serious.” You said, pressing a soft kiss on his lips before pulling away from him as you both looked into each other's arms with a loving gaze.

“I promise.”

The morning of the next following day, you were getting ready to go out with Nanami on the date that he had promised you before. You were wearing his favorite color black dress as well as some gold jewelry to complement it.

You headed down to the kitchen as you seen Nanami finishing up some last minute paperwork in his office, told you he would be ready in a few minutes before heading upstairs to get his tie, and as he left his phone unlocked, an unknown sender appeared on the home screen and said

"Hey baby, I can't wait to see you tonight"! It was like your heart dropped to your stomach when you saw the message from another woman on his phone, and you couldn't help but freeze at the sight, swallowing harshly as you pushed it away for a moment.

This left your stomach churning with disgust and you could not comprehend how he could have betrayed you in such a way, especially considering that you were married to him for years.

“Hey baby, I'm ready.” Nanami shouted as he made his way up the steps to the office where he had left you before. Nanami's smile vanished as he saw the sight before him coming up behind you and wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling into your neck as he whispered to you.

"I am sorry." in your ear softly but you slowly pushed him away as you allowed the tears to fall from your eyes and balled up his fists as It was as if your heart had just shattered into pieces.

“No you're not, kento. You're only sorry I found out about your little “girlfriend” you shouted at him, wiping the tears off your faces as you felt your lungs on fire from crying so much.

“Baby.. I can explain—.”

“No, I'm done with you..” Before he was able to say another word you slammed the door behind you and hurried out of the house before getting into your car and driving away, still hurt and betrayed by the man who had taken advantage of your marriage all these years.

The last few weeks have been rough for you after you left your marriage still carrying the hurt and betrayal inside of you, your lips parted with a sigh as you sipped your tea in the restaurant kento promised he would take you to, but never did.

A ding of a bell was heard back in the coffee shop and your thoughts were interrupted by it. You couldn't help but glance towards that direction when you spotted your long-term friend whom you've known since you were children.

choso kamo

In the shop, Choso sat right next to you on the bar stool while you two talked for a while recalling the good times. On top of that, you finally broke the silence telling him about the marriage of your now ex husband and how he cheated on you.

In response to your words, he let out a deep sigh and held you close to his chest, still pissed off at Nanami and determined to show you that he was there for you and that he could do better than anything he had ever done before.

He massaged small circles into your back as you snuggled closer to him, rubbing small circles into his chest as you leaned closer to him telling you he was going to be there for you now.

“Don’t worry I’m going to take care of you, like a real man should.” he murmured out before walking you out the coffee shop to his place for the night.

Meanwhile,Nanami still desperately tried to reach out through calls but no answer as you'd eventually blocked his number. You were slowly becoming happy again but this time with someone better.

When Nanami stepped into his car, as he was heading to work, he felt as though he was dying on the inside as he sighed as he felt like he had gone through the process.

His ash blond hair was a mess all over his head, and the bags under his eyes were due to a lack of sleep he had been getting. While driving, he started dozing off in an attempt to keep himself awake as the other vehicles were blowing at him to concentrate on the road in front of him. He ended up swerving and getting hit by a semi truck, causing his car to roll.

The paramedics quickly checked the vital signs of Nanami and confirmed that he was still alive for now.

They then proceeded to carefully extract him from the car, ensuring that his injuries were not made worse by the process.

Once he was out, they quickly loaded him onto a stretcher and loaded him into the ambulance. The ambulance drove off at full speed, rushing Nanami to the hospital for emergency treatment.

The paramedics rushed Nanami to the hospital and he was quickly moved to a room. The doctors immediately hooked him up to a breathing tube to keep his breathing steady.

After a thorough examination, they diagnosed him with a severe concussion and he soon went into a coma. The doctors weren't sure when he would wake up, but they knew the damage to his brain was permanent.

You had been hoping against hope that Nanami would be okay, but it seemed that fate had other plans.

You reap what you sow.

A deep sigh escaped your lips as you tried to wrap your head around the news, you let go of Choso, feeling a sense of despair wash over you knew that you had to be strong for both of you now, but it was hard to ignore it.

Choso’s patience and understanding were a much needed tender love after everything that happened this past week, He’d let you stay with him as long as you needed to.

His presence was a reminder that you are never alone and that he was always there to support you. You two had been friends for a while, but something special started to grow between you two.

After a month of spending time together, you both could feel the connection and decided to make it official. He would take you out on lunch dates, shower you with love and affection, and make you feel like the most cherished person in the world.

Choso always took his time with you..

His soft lips placed wet kisses against your neck sending shivers down your spine as his hands roamed under your shirt—toying with your breast before gently latching his lips on your sensitive nipple, using his free head to squeeze your other breast in between his fingers.

“So pretty baby.” he cooed against you ghosting over your chest before detaching himself from your nipple with a pop, His lips curved into a smirk as he reaches his hand down to tug your panties down your ankles, you felt his hot breath ghost against your wet folds

—lightly licking and sucking on it. He smirks against you maintaining eye contact, rubbing your clit with the pad of his thumb in a circular motion making you arch your back, your hand reaching down to grip the strands of his hair.

“—Fuck, ..choso feels so good..” a shaky whine escaped your lips,nails digging into the couch cushions. Your hips bucked against his hand as the pleasure built up inside of you.

His tongue moved against your clit, teasing it, as his slender fingers moved in and out of pussy with ease picking up the pace groaning against you focusing on how pretty you sound moaning his name.

“You taste so fucking good..baby.” he purred pulling his head up to breathe for a moment as his tongue was relentless as it continued to lick your clit, sending pulses of pleasure through your body, and you felt your legs trembling under his touch.

Your body shudders and trembles with pleasure, sending electric shocks up your spine. Choso slender fingers curl inside you , rubbing against your walls, coaxing your orgasm from you.

“—..fuck…mpht.. g—onna c-cum.”you managed to stammer out, gripping his hair tightly, feeling his teeth lightly grazed against your clit, arching your back against his face as his hand grips your thighs keeping, his steady pace increasing the pace of his fingers on your inside of you.

Your breath catches in your throat as his tongue circles the sensitive cunt and your body starts to tense up. His teeth lightly graze against your clit, sending you over the edge.

“Be a good girl and cum for me.” He teases against your skin, loving how much your body reacts underneath him.

Choso tongue circles around your throbbing clit, licking and teasing it until you can't take it any longer. He gently sucks on your clit as he teases it with his tongue, tittering you the edge.

You can feel the pressure oursing through your body as you reach your peak, and he doesn't let up even as you climax. His fingers curl inside of you, pushing you further and further over the edge as you breathless let out a moan of pleasure

—-closing your eyes and savoring the moment, feeling the warmth of his tongue and the gentle caress of his lips against your skin. You feel the waves of pleasure wash over you as he continues to lick and tease your clit, pushing you to the edge of ecstasy.

Soon the pleasure builds to an overwhelming intensity, and you let out a cry of pleasure as you reach your climax. Your body trembles and your breaths become short and ragged as you reach the peak of pleasure.

You lay there, exhausted, as he pulls away, licking the cum off his lips and pressing a soft kiss against your forehead before heading to the bathroom.

He came back soon after and helped you up, supporting your weight as you stumbled to the bathroom, and you both settled into the tub, with him behind you, his arms wrapped around your waist, and you both just relaxed in the warm water, feeling content and satisfied.

You were relieved to be able to relax, and you allowed yourself to drift away as the warm water of the bath soothes your aching body for the night.

Looks like nanami got a taste of his own medicine(in heaven)

@kazushawty @hoshigray @hqkalon @merakidoll @ncentic @ghoulishfrk @zarihaaa @erensbaebee @honeybleed @kentoism @katviez @satocidal @satoruhour @dprkento @littlemochabunni @killzenin @ryukenzz @jilval @syliseslove @preciousamethyst @spideyyeet @charbunxxi @chrollohearttags @omgeto @kingkonoha @rinacantspell @tsukiboo @junevenile @junemaru @cyberssapphic @xsatoru @ramonathinks @marimogf

#choso x reader #Choso smut #choso x reader smut #jjk smut #nanami angst #nanami x y/n #nanami kento x reader #kento nanami angst #jjk angst #choso x you #choso x black!reader #choso kamo smut #jjk x reader smut #jjk x you #jjk x fem!reader #x female reader #anime x reader #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #kento angst #nanami x reader #nanami x you #kento x y/n #kento x you #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk nanami #jjk choso #kamo choso x reader #jujutsu kaisen nanami

[catherineaboutlife]

Create yourself from scratch

You can create your bio from scratch. Yes, it is possible. It doesn't matter what you had in the "past" and "present" (time does not exist, there is only infinity). It doesn't matter the country in which you were born, your date of birth, your ancestry and family, social status, education and career (or lack thereof). Nothing matters if you want to build yourself from scratch. Now only your new story matters.

What does this mean?

I think you already know that anything is possible. Literally. There are no restrictions or clarifications. Yes, you can create in your current reality (I’m not talking about shifting and parallel realities, that’s a different topic, now we’re just talking about creating a new story in the current reality) whatever you want. And in this post, I want to remind you of your ability to create your biography from scratch as one aspect of your limitless possibilities.

Q & A 

How can I do that?

Forget the old story. She never existed. And create your new story. You can review any aspects of your biography (place and date of birth, citizenship, social status, ancestry and family, education, career, appearance, etc.).

Change your assumptions and believe in them. You can also use void state. The main thing is not to complicate it. It shouldn't be difficult for you.

And the most important point: no matter what, never return to the old story. Don't give her power. Believe me, the outside world will definitely show you everything that you have in your imagination. It's easier than it seems.

But other people will remember my old story?

People (like you as a physical object) are an illusion. You can change assumptions about them and their memories, and everything will be according to your script. Don't worry, nothing you don't want will happen.

But how can my current reality adapt to the new story?

Everything will be as if it had always been this way. Everything that needs to be adapted in the current reality to a new story will be adapted, don’t worry. Your job is simply to stick to the new story. There is no need to think about how this will happen. You, as a consciousness, will cope with this task without additional thoughts like “What do I need to do?”, “How will this happen?” Let it go. Accept the fact of the new history, and the current reality will show it to you. Every detail will be the way you want it to be (even if you cannot fully formulate it, you as a consciousness know perfectly well what you need).

You are God. You are the power. There is no power outside; the power is only in you. Remember this.

I hope my post helped you! ❤️

Good luck!

#loa blog #loa tumblr #void state #loa #void #the void state #3d #edward art #4d #law of assumption blog #neville goddard #loassumption #loans #loablr #the void #manifesting #manifesation #how to manifest #manifest #meditation #loassblog #law of assumption #subliminals #law of manifestation #reality shifting

[jymwahuwu]

@blbrrymilk here ^^

imagine that Sunday controls your thoughts during your private moments alone in bed 🫢 you were trying to find some relief- thinking of your crush/others beside him or just some kinky fantasies he doesn’t approve of- so he gives you a different image in your mind. forcibly changed your thoughts to fit his preferences instead. maybe you lose your arousal because of his interference or maybe you think of him instead now :33

You really- why didn’t I think of this!! Thank you! ! I'm struggling with how to write about mind control. *mwah*<3 <3 This mind control is annoying LMAO

CW: yandere, mind control, forced orgasms, masturbation, no privacy…?

He is really insufferable omg😹

Forcibly pouring his image into your mind like this? Uh-huh, yes. You've joined "The Family" even though you may not have actually… agreed? Your consciousness is connected to that of the people of Aeon Xipe. The leader of the family often looks at the fragments of thoughts in your mind, and replaces and modifies the information if he sees something that does not suit his liking.

Of course, Sunday cannot directly modify your thoughts. He respects your sense of independence (claim). He just guides you to the right path.

One day you're lying on a soft bed, completely relaxed, probably in your pajamas. You looked at the ceiling and breathed calmly. You might be ready to meditate, masturbate or something like that. And this is your freedom, okay? You don't know why…Sunday, the leader of the family has a kind of appreciation and favor for you. You are considered an important member of the family. You are tired of listening to Xipe and family hymns every day. This is your private time.

Maybe you think about your crush?

Once you think about that person, you can't help but feel your heart speed up and feel shy. You are thinking about the details of your time with them. But - no matter who your crush is, you suddenly find that their image has been replaced to Sunday in your mind. Close-up of him. His smile, his bow, his gestures, his words to you. The words of trust he always expressed to you. You were startled and quickly waved your hands to wave away those pink bubbles and love words. You don't have a crush on him, okay?

After you try to get rid of the image of Sunday, thousands of messages and videos flood into your head. About how you lack taste in the choice of lovers and neglect Xipe and Sunday who truly love and care for you and embrace you in their arms.

Then comes the real chill, the guilt. How their love was wasted and betrayed.

Gazed tenderly by those amber eyes. Surrounded by him. That feather gently stirs your heart.

As for thinking about other people? The consequences are relatively mild. Just bring back some memories of Sunday in your mind.

Sunday also doesn’t agree with some of your kinky fantasies. You are polluted by vulgar worldliness. How can you read those erotic novels and pornographic books? After you thought you were safe and caressed yourself with the toy, you heard him whispering in your ear and guiding you to climax. Of course you were- annoyed- and confused, but in the end you cum so hard, one after another orgasm ripped out of you. Pain and excitement. A feeling of bliss. Your eyes lose focus. Then came the licking of your ears and the restrained kisses.

Sunday is not in this space, but it feels so real.

Minutes after the mind control ended:

You grab your mobile device and send a message to "Mr. Sunday":

(╯‵□′)╯︵┴─┴ Stop putting those images in my mind you bastard!!!!!!!!!

#honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #sunday x reader #yandere honkai star rail #honkai star rail x you #yandere hsr #yandere hsr x reader #honkai x reader

[silent-stories]

𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄

Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader

Summary: Astarion fears that he is forcing you to spend the rest of your life in darkness.

Astarion was lying on the bed, next to you, his eyes were staring at an indefinite point on the ceiling and between his eyebrows there were a few more wrinkles, as if he was intensely thinking.

The inn room was comfortable, clean, and scented with lavender. It was nice to finally be able to spend a few days of peace after Cazador's death and sleep in a real bed, next to someone you loved.

You looked at his profile, the curve of his lips, the white curls on the pillow and some falling onto his forehead, the way his chest remained completely still, devoid of a beating heart and air in his lungs.

His ruby ​​eyes looked darker now that they were no longer in daylight and you found yourself thinking that you already missed the way they sparkled when hit by the sun's rays.

You glanced at the window in the room, the curtains were drawn so as not to let in the slightest bit of light, obviously. Ever since Astarion went back to not being able to be in the sunlight, you were always careful about that.

"Is something bothering you, Star?"

You already knew the answer, you knew him, but you didn't want to force any explanation.

"Don't you think you made the wrong choice?" He responded with another question, his voice low.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you think I am the wrong choice?" He continued speaking without looking at you, his pale hands lying one on his stomach and one on his side. You wanted to grab one, kiss his knuckles and play with his fingers in that way that always made him laugh no matter how hard he tried to hold it back.

You decided against it only because he seemed so deep in his thoughts that a sudden touch would start him. You knew that some types of physical contact were still new to him.

"Star-"

"I feel like I'm forcing you to spend the rest of your life in the dark, hiding."

"You're not forcing me, it was my decision to stay with you."

"This is exactly why I ask you: don't you think you made the wrong decision?"

"You will never be-"

He interrupted you.

"I want you to know that if at any moment you realize that this is not the life you want to live, that you are tired of hiding from the sun, I will understand.

And although I may never be ready to let you go, I will, because you deserve to live. You deserve to walk among people, village festivals, going through the markets, you deserve the sun's rays kissing your skin. And I don't want to deprive you of what you deserve, my love. I can't deprive you of living."

The way he spoke and the sincerity in his voice, devoid of any hint of sarcasm and irony, struck you in a way you couldn't quite place and left you speechless.

He was telling you to leave him for your own good.

"As much as I would like to have you next to me for eternity, I find it a too selfish idea. Even for me." He continued, "So I'm telling you, if one day I won't find you lying in bed next to me, don't feel guilty for running away from someone who was limiting you, who was forcing you into the darkness when you wanted to see the world.

I'll understand it. I won't lie and say I won't spend the rest of my days trying in vain to fill the void you left in me, but that won't change my mind. You deserve to live, my love. Not to hide."

He was saying you could go, even though it would cause him pain. That it was more important to know you were happy with someone else than unhappy with him. You wondered if there was a greater sign of love than this.

"My star."

The way you called him, maybe stirred something in him. He turned his head towards you and his gaze finally met yours, his red eyes were big, sad and full of affection.

“I would rather spend the rest of my life in the darkness with you than in the daylight with someone else.”

He slowly moved his body towards you, his hand gently brushing your hip and so you reached out to trace his features with your fingertips, brushing a curl away from his forehead.

You kept talking.

"The world is still alive when the sun goes down, we can go out and live with it. We can see how the moon reflects on the waves of the sea and on the surface of the lakes, we can walk in the woods that only we know, we can try to count the stars and invent new constellations."

His grip around you became firmer but still extremely gentle as he pushed you closer to his body. You put your arms around him in the same way and with your hand you caressed his back, aware that under the light fabric of his shirt, the scars of his past stood out on his skin.

You remembered the day he told you that it was okay, when you touched them, that they hadn't caused him physical pain in years and that, when he felt the tips of your fingers run gently over them, it was as if they were healing for a second time.

"I don't care what we do, as long as we're together. I'm not interested in running away from you because I don't want anyone else. You won't find my side of the bed empty one day, because that's the only place I want to be. You didn't force me to do anything, Star, it was my decision to be with you. And it will be my decision to stay with you every day to follow."

There was a moment of silence, then his lips curved into a slight smile. Almost invisible, but enough to show the tips of his white canines.

“You have always been so stubborn.” He murmured before leaving a kiss on your forehead. It was light and sweet and made you giggle.

"I think you like that."

"Just a bit."

"Just a bit?" You asked, pretending to be shocked.

"Mh-mh."

"Now don't you try to tell me that-"

When his cold lips met yours, you couldn't finish your sentence. The kiss was sweet, full of meaning and slower than usual.

Because in the end, you had all the time.

Because you weren't planning on leaving anytime soon.

#astarion x reader #astarion bg3 x reader #astarion fluff #astarion angst #astarion x reader angst #astarion x reader fluff

[rpclefairy]

𝐁𝐆𝟑 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

a selection of lines from the various companions' banter quotes (not cut scene dialogues!) from baldur's gate 3. these are generally spoiler free and non context specific so they can apply to different settings and dynamics! feel free to change names and the like to customize the prompts.

“Death can't have me. Not yet…”

“Calm yourself. There is plenty of me to go around.”

“Realmspace is vast. Countless worlds to be mapped, kingdoms to be conquered.”

“I have missed this. The adventure. The danger. The kicking of butts!

“Let me guess - you need something.”

“Such attention.. I never realised I was so popular.”

“Let's cook with fire, baby.”

“Do you intend to vocalise every thought?. Or just the most obvious ones?”

“Wherever we go, ye gods let there be something green.”

“Careful, or I will take your toy away from you.”

“Watch your elders and learn.”

“Perhaps try attacking the enemy?”

“So much we don't know, lingering in the furthest reaches of existence.”

“All the world's my stage and you're just a player in it.”

“The shadows are my friend.”

“Yes, yes, have your fun. It isn't you they're trying to kill.”

“Feet planted firmly on Faerûn, please.”

“Admirable stamina, yet terrible priorities.”

“Well you certainly have the 'omnipresent' part down, don't you?”

“I am ready, whatever may come.”

“My faith protects me.”

“Need a throat slitting?”

“Death greets us all - but not today.”

“You need my expertise?”

“Can you feel death's cold grip?”

“So many stars, so many mysteries yet to be discovered.”

“Death comes quietly.”

“And I thought we were going to be friends.”

“Locked tight, but there must be some way to open it.”

“No, you can't die. Get up, damn you!

“You had my attention, now you have my fury.”

“From silence to suffering.”

“So many worlds out there. You'd need a thousand lifetimes to see them all - more.”

“I hope this is important. For your sake.”

“Let them gaze deep into their own abyss, and wonder just what it is they are trying to achieve.”

“I ought to just burn this whole thing down.”

“We have slightly more pressing matters to attend to.”

“You have still have time to surrender.”

“Every kicked buttock, another step on the path.”

“Weave save me. I can't take much more…

“You are right to fear me.”

“Let me look around. Might be something that'll help me crack this thing.”

“Incredible, to think how many worlds exist beyond this tiny speck within a speck I call home.”

“I really wish I could cast a Hold spell on you.”

“I can fawn over my face later.”

“Ready for another round?”

“Keep your blade close.”

“I can't unlock it from here, but there must be a switch or a button somewhere…”

“No, that's not moving. There must be a way to open it somewhere.”

“Battle favours the fearless.”

“Sleep with one eye open, evil. Maybe both.”

“Gotta be something around here to unlock this thing.”

“Why do beautiful people taste better?. It hardly seems fair on the ugly - they have such wonderful personalities.”

“Oh, calm down. I'm happy to see you too.”

“Just go for the Magic Missile and fire away. Never fails.”

“Still standing, no matter what you heard.”

“Enough waiting. I crave blood.”

“Hang on - I won't allow this. You aren't dead, go it?”

“GODS, it's HOT in here!”

“No rest for the wicked, I see.”

“Better to hide than fight, sometimes.”

“Would that I could hide from you, too.”

“Are you feeling lonely, perhaps?”

“There is no right or wrong, only truth.”

“Battle is afoot - you can poke me once we are safe.”

“What good all this ethereal eladrin blood if I can still get pimples?”

“I should've been a drow. They have such stylish armour.”

“I am armed! Armoured! And entirely sick of your foolishness.”

“Let's have some fun.”

“War is an old woman's game.”

“No rest, be you wicked or wise.”

“I'm getting too old for this nonsense.”

“I would poke you back, but I fear that's what you want.”

“You have my attention - now do something with it.”

“You are insistent, are you not?”

“Do what must be done.”

“Your suffering will be spectacular.”

“Lest I sit down for a rest and not rise again.”

“Better to look evil in the eye. Even if it be very small.”

“I'm not built to crouch.”

“I think I could go another round.”

“Always the same old song.”

“Is perfection too much to ask?”

“Eyes on victory, tummy on dinner.”

“So many places to be.. and I chose Baldur's Gate.”

“I'm not opening that. Not from here, at any rate.”

“What is the point, if not victory?”

“Won't last much longer like this.”

“Let's hope the locals are friendly.”

“Let us show them how it's done.”

“Weapons high. Standards higher.”

“Must everyone be so exhausting?”

“What I would not give for a chunk of fresh honeycomb…”

“Which way to the nearest library?”

“Now this is my happy place.”

“Who shall I silence?”

“Stop, or die.”

“Wear your scars proudly.”

#indie rp #rp meme #rp ask meme #sentence starter #rp prompts #bg3 prompts #rp sentence starters

[oikasugayama]

BSD MEN AS BOYFRIENDS pt. 2

pt. 1 Dazai, Kunikida, Atsushi, Chuuya pt. 2 Ango, Ranpo, Poe

mentions of smut in Ranpo and Poe's!!

Ango

He's a sadboi and once he's comfortable with you he's probably whiny and clingy. It's extreeeemely common for him to come home from work exhausted, change out of his suit, and silently drop down beside you wherever you are. If you're in bed he'll lay with you, if you're on the couch he'll sit with you, hell sometimes he'll get into your bath with you. He wont talk for a while--sometimes up to an hour-- while he decompresses from work, and then finally once he's started to relax he'll talk to you and ask how your day was. You're used to this-- you can't imagine the stress he's under on a day to day basis not only doing his job but knowing that he's incredibly hated among some very very dangerous circles. You promised him a long time ago that you wouldn't ask about it and would try your best not to worry about it. "I could be killed any day for a multitude of reasons," he told you once. "Let me worry about that. Please just let me feel normal and in love with you in the meantime."

He doesn't...have friends... so you get to spend ALL of his free time with him :D Not that there's a lot of it. He hates working late, but unfortunately it happens a lot (funny how it coincides with every time the Port Mafia or the Armed Detective Agency get involved in some big scheme). You miss him when he's late coming home, but as much as you want to be a cute partner and bring him dinner at the office (or stop by for any reason for that matter), you know you can't. Ango keeps your relationship EXTREMELY private, to the point of being secretive. You're not allowed to be seen in public together, for your safety. He doesn't want you to be taken and used against him for any reason, so it's better that your relationship is under wraps.

One time, though, you were at home with him and Dazai--okay, so Ango has one friend--invited himself in. You'd never met him before this moment, and he seemed shocked that Ango wasn't home alone. You've heard enough about Dazai to know that he likely instantly knew who you were to Ango when he saw you leaned against each other on the couch in the split second before Ango leapt to his feet and started yelling at Dazai for breaking in.

Ango honestly seems a little relieved to introduce you properly to Dazai-- you're the two most important people in his personal life, after all. Now maybe he can have his two favorite people in the room at the same time and feel a little normal for once.

Ranpo

Don't even fucking pretend like you don't have a crush on him. The second you think "oh shit, I think I like him" he opens his eyes, quirks an eyebrow at you, and says "I didn't even do anything." If you didn't know better you'd think he's telepathic. He asks you on a date then and there (after a bit of teasing, trying to get you to admit to liking him before he outs you himself)

He fairly quickly decides that he wants to be your partner, having worked out in an instant that you'll make his life more fun and give him lots of things that he isn't used to (i.e. affection) that he desperately wants.

If you ask why he didn't date anyone before you came along, he says that he has dated a few people, but only if they've approached him, because he's too lazy to pursue anyone. It's easier for him to wait for someone to confess than to try to hunt for someone good.

He's not much for cuddling. He's kind of touch averse and isn't too fond of petting or random innocent touches or hand holding. He very, very much likes kisses and compliments, though!! You can smooch him and tell him how handsome and smart and good he is and it'll send him over the moon.

He doesn't have much of a sex drive, but you do have sex. He prefers to not do the work as much as possible. If you'll suck him off or ride him, he's more than satisfied. He tells you he used to think he could honestly live without sex, but then he remembers how good you look when you're blissed out and how proud he feels when he makes you feel good, and it makes him want to do it more. Throughout your relationship he gets a bit more sexually adventurous, but it does take a while for him to get used to all the physical touching and the energy it expends.

It's impossible to surprise him. You have to start warning him that you want to surprise him, and then he pretends not to notice any of the sneaking you do. You kind of knew this was going to be an issue going into the relationship, but you didn't realize he wouldn't know not to spoil a surprise. He gets pretty good at pretending he didn't know surprises were coming, though. His favorite ones involve you making him special dinners or coming to the office in the middle of the day to bring him lunch and give him a kiss right in front of all of his coworkers.

Poe

He will buy you EX!PEN!SIVE! GIFTS! You want a rare first edition of a novel from the 19th century? $2,000? Pocket change. You want a beautiful gemstone neceklace and it turns out it's $100k because they're all diamonds? Easy spending money. He'd buy you a whole fucking town if you asked him to. Please ask him to. Please.

He is at your beck and call. Every second you're not with him he's thinking of you and moping. He cries to Karl that you must have forgotten about him and what if you don't love him anymore? He falls into a doom spiral and writes devastating poetry about never-ending despair and loathing--and then you text him and he's sunshine and rainbows and writes you a sonnet about how much he loves you. He's especially susceptible to sexts. If you send him a picture of your tits or your bulge, his mouth will be watering and he will call you in an instant, whining and begging for you to come see him as soon as possible.

he insists he can see through his hair and prefers it to be in his eyes to block some of the light--even if it's dark, it's still too bright for him. The first time you huff and reach up to move his hair out of his face, he nearly nuts on the spot. There's something about you grabbing his hair and forcing him to look you, unobstructed, in the eye that turns him on so much. He's very much a sub and wants you to take control and tell him exactly what you want any time you get intimate.

quality time is very important to him, just as much so as gift giving. He'd be happy to be in the same room as you even if you weren't looking at him or talking to him. All it takes is for you to be nearby for him to feel at ease. He's very prone to anxiety, but having you by his side, or just in his vicinity, makes him feel a bit braver.

He lowkey gets jealous when you give Karl more attention than him. Yes the raccoon is cute and very pettable, but Poe is pettable too, damn it, look at all that hair he has!! Run your fingers through it!! Kiss his forehead!! Discover what color his eyes are and wax poetic about how beautiful they are and ask why he keeps hiding them from you!! Give him attention!!!!!!!!!!!

#bsd x reader #bsd fanfic #ranpo x reader #poe x reader #ango x reader #ranpo smut #poe smut #bsd x reader smut #bungo stray dogs #i couldn't stop myself i had to write more

[elinoracia]

⁑ They see you cry for the first time// Hogwarts legacy characters reactions x reader ⁑

~ Hogwarts Legacy headcanons ~

Warnings: hurt/comfort, fluff, use of Y/N, mention of death and blood, swearing (censored), Leander jumpscare. Pairings: Sebastian x reader, Ominis x reader, Garreth x reader, Amit x reader, Poppy x reader, Natty x reader, Imelda x reader, Leander x reader.

Feel free to request anything!

-------------------------------

Context: Even after Professor Fig's death, even under great pressure and no matter the situation, you never let your friends saw you crack. Not even a single tear. You were trying really hard to hide your pain and sadness. But it had to come out one day... After fighting against some poachers with your companion, they almost killed him/her. After you saved him/her, you finally broke down. You thought you lost him/her too. You couldn't control your tears. (Pre-relationship)

THEIR REACTION :

Sebastian:

He gets up and dusts himself off without noticing how devasted you were at first.

"It seems like I'm the one who's in your debt now. I owe you- Y/N? Are you crying?"

He almost runs to you the moment he notices.

"What is wrong? Are you hurt? Are you bleeding? Tell me!"

He is extremely worried. He doesn't know why you're crying. When you explain to him you were really afraid of losing him like you lost so many people in your life, he got really quiet for a moment.

"You'll never lose me. We're a team, the best team even. If we stick together and protect eachother, nothing could ever happen to one of us. Besides, I am an excellent duellist!... Look at me Y/N..."

He lifts your chin up to make you meet his gaze. You could see how concerned he was. He wipes away some of your tears with his fingers.

"I'll be the one protecting you next time." You could feel he wasn't only talking about duels or battles...

He is not really good with words so he will go out of his way to try to cheer you up for the rest of the day. He will pick little flowers for you and bring you sweets.

"I'm not great with words but I surely can listen! Please come to me if you want to talk..or if you need a big bear hug! I'm also good with those."

Would hug you very tightly for as long as you need.

Ominis:

He will notice almost immediately when you start crying. He felt your breath pattern change and he heard you slightly sniffle.

"Y/N, may I ask what's troubling you? It's very unlike you to be this upset. I'm worried. Are you hurt perhaps?"

You then explain how scared you were. You feel like you almost lost him too.

He stays silent. He goes to reach for your hand and holds it.

He usually never lets anyone holds his hand because he doesn't feel like he is in need of any guidance and doesn't think it is ever necessary. But he is making an exception to comfort you.

"I appologize for making you worry that much about my safety. But I am still here...thanks to you."

You both make it back to Howarts and he refuses to let go of your hand.

"As you may already know, I am a great listener. I am always available if you feel the need to talk about anything."

"Your safety is also truly important to me. I just want to make sure you do not feel like what happened to you or anyone is your fault."

He really wants to make sure you're feeling better before letting your hand go.

He doesn't care if people can see him holding your hand. All that matters at this moment is you.

"Take your time Y/N. I'll stay for as long as you need me to."

Garreth:

He is very oblivious about the situation. You turn your head to not face him so he couldn't see your tears. But you feel your shoulders shake.

When he notices how your demeanor changed, he just wonders if you were tired or maybe hurt.

"Y/N? Are you alright? I have some Wiggenweld potions if you need any. I even brew them myself."

You try to explain to him how you felt. You couldn't contain your tears. Those poachers almost killed him in front of your eyes... You see his eyes widen.

"Y/N...Please don't cry. I'm fine, look! Please... I hate when I can't see your pretty smile."

He will almost instantly take you in his arms and give you a hug. He will also gently carress your head as he tries to make you smile or laugh.

"Come on Y/N, you usually always laugh at that joke! Smile for your best bud...please."

He will not leave you alone until you feel better.

"Trust me, I think you might need some of that famous Gryffindor courage, chivalry, and determination to make you feel better! You're in luck, I have all of the above!"

He will not leave you for the rest of the day. And if anyone tries to talk to you, he will tell them you need to rest. He wouldn't want you to feel too overwhelmed.

"There it is! There is your pretty smile. Do you feel a bit better now?"

Amit:

After the battle against the poachers, his first instinct will be to check on you, even he was the one who almost died. He'll quickly notice you feel upset.

"Y/N what is wrong? Please don't cry...I'm here for you."

You explained how unbearable the thought of almost losing him too was. You explained how much it breaks you.

"I-I'm sorry...I didn't know how much that impacted you. I should have known. But I'm here for you now. Don't be ashamed to cry in front of me. I'm here..."

As you're crying, he gently rubs your back and hands you his handkerchief. He stays next to you until you finish crying. Then he will talk to you for a while.

"I hope you know you don't have to hide your emotions from me anymore. I still think you're incredibly strong. You're so wonderful Y/N, truly."

He'll almost force you to go get some rest for the rest of the day.

"Please, let me bring you back to your dorms. You need to rest. I'll warn your teachers about your absence, they'll understand. I'll give you the notes I took during class, I insist on that."

He'll walk you back to your dorms like the gentleman he is. He'll make sure you don't have to worry about anything else for the rest of the day.

He will bring some food to you so you don't forget to eat. It's not just an excuse to come to see you and check on you, not at all really

He will try to be more careful about what he does. He doesn't want to worry you.

Poppy:

She almost cries first. The situation really shook her. But when she notices you crying, she focuses all her attention on you.

"Y/N! Please tell me you're not hurt! I'm here, I'm okay, you're okay. Take a deep breath."

You try explaining to her through your heavy sobs how afraid you were to lose her too.

"Don't be silly, I'll always be right next to you, no matter how annoying it can be. They can't possibly get rid of me that easily when you're with me Y/N. That's what makes you such an amazing person... You're always so selfless."

She takes you in her arms. Nobody can possibly make her let go of you.

"I'm so sorry you went through all of that... but you will never lose me."

She makes you take deep breaths and do breathing exercises until you calm down a little.

"Do you feel better? Do you need me to bring you something? Water? Food? Anything? Let me go get that for you!"

You could ask her for anything and she'll RUN to get them for you.

"Don't worry, it's okay to cry. Sometimes I cry too! It doesn't make you weak or anything of the sort! Your tears mean you feel deeply and that's a good thing!"

She'll make sure that you're not alone, not a single second, for the rest of the day. She has to make sure you feel supported.

Natty:

She is very attentive to what is happening around her. So it doesn't take her long to notice your muffled sobs you were trying to hide.

"Y/N, what's wrong? I'm here with you, you can tell me about it."

She tries to stay very calm. She wouldn't want to stress you out more than you already are.

As you explain to her how you felt about losing her too and the fear of her being killed, you can notice how concerned she looks. She sadly knows that feeling all too well.

"I want to support you in any way you need. You are not alone. I...I know how you feel."

She'll make you sit next to her. She will let you cry it out while she hold your hand and softly rubs it with her thumb.

"This is really hard for you, I understand. I will help you work it out. I'll never leave you Y/N. You'll never lose me, I hope you know that."

She'll hand you tissues as she listens to you attentively.

"Is there anything I can do to help? I would do anything to help you feel better."

She is ready to do anything you want. It really hurts her to see you go through what she went through.

Following this incident, you can be sure she will regularly check on you.

Imelda:

She is panting as she tries to get up. She is just glad she didn't die. It was a close-call. When she turns to look at you, she is surprised to see you so upset.

"Y/N? Why are you crying? We won! You beat them all! It could be so much worse, I almost died."

You explain how the though of losing her the way you lost so many people scares you. Your tears are flowing on your cheeks.

"I'm not...that big of a deal. If I knew you were going to cry over me, I would have been more careful... Please...Y/N..."

She slowly pats your back, not really knowing what to do or what to say.

"Hey Y/N, it's okay, I'm still here. And even if one day I die, I'm sure you'll figure out something crazy like usual and resurrect me or something like that. You're that powerful, I'm sure of it. But let's not think about it just yet!"

She usually would NEVER hug anyone but she'll hug you if you ask her. She will complain but she'll still do it for you.

"Hugh! So needy! Just don't hold me too tight, I can't escape death twice in a row. There there, I'm here."

Deep down she enjoys being the one you're worried about. She would never admit it though.

"Don't tell anyone we hugged or I'll never hug you again."

Leander:

He only thinks about himself at first. He almost died and couldn't believe he was still here.

"Holy sh*t you saved me! Y/N... it was crazy. I-... Are you crying?"

You tell him how afraid you were about losing him too. You couldn't bear the thought of him dying.

"Oh...I- hum..."

He doesn't have a single clue how to comfort you. He is very ankward and clumsy with his words. He means well though.

He's the kind of person to not think before he talks.

"Y/N...look at me. I...hum...your tears are beautiful...S-Sorry I just blurt out random things when I'm nervous. But I'm here..."

He'll ankwardly hug you and pat your head.

"It's alright Y/N...Do you want my scarf? You're always begging me to give it to you so you can wear it. Here, take it."

He gives you his scarf you puts it around your neck. It feels strangely comforting.

"You can wipe your tears with it if you want. It's yours now. Red suits you much better anyway."

You burry your face in his chest and hug him tighter.

"I hope it's not just an excuse because you don't need to do that if you really needed a hug from me that bad. I'll hug you everyday if you insist."

In a weird way, his teasing makes you feel a bit better.

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