#you can probably see why living in the same city as youtubers terrifies me. i am so stupid. this is too stressful

[annab-nana]

Menstrual Mess - Peter Parker

Peter’s spidey senses were telling him that something was wrong with his newest friend, but he could not quite figure out what it was. When his problem-solving brain would not give it a rest, it proved to be more harm than good.

A/N: This is my first marvel/Peter Parker imagine so I really hope you guys enjoy it :) 

Warnings: some curse words; period talk (blood, cramps, tampons and such)

Word Count: 2.8k+

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Peter Parker was your newfound friend, possibly even best friend. Going to the same school and sharing most of the same classes is how you knew each other, but about three weeks ago when your last class got a new seating chart that placed you and Peter next to each other, your mere acquaintance became a really good friend. You both talked more, walked to your classes together, you started sitting with him at lunch, studied with each other. Y’all even started walking home together sometimes after realizing that you two didn’t live too far away from each other.

Now, Peter was still learning and getting used to his powers and senses. One day when his senses enhanced almost every time he was around you, he got a little suspicious. Something was different with you because this never happened before and it only occurred when he was around you. Something felt different and smelled different. Something was wrong with you and it worried him. He had asked if you were okay a few times throughout the day which you had noticed after the second or third time. You also noticed his worried glances and how his leg never stopped bouncing the whole day. His anxious tendencies worried you a little, but you tried to shrug it off.

“Are you sure you are okay?” Peter asked you for what felt like the millionth time just in the five hours you two had been at school.

“Yes, Peter,” you chuckled while closing your locker and looking into the boy’s big brown worry-filled eyes. “I am perfectly fine. Are you okay because you have not stopped asking me that all day long? You’re worrying me, Parker.”

“Yeah, I’m okay. I- I’ve just had a weird feeling all day that I can’t seem to shake,” he told you honestly as his fingers fiddled with the bottom of his shirt.

“Did you have a bad dream last night or something?” you asked, walking next to the nervous boy to your next class.

“Umm yeah actually. You, Ned, and MJ were all getting hurt and I couldn’t help you,” Peter told you. It was a lie, but it helped to cover up why he was so anxious about you.

“So that’s why you’ve been asking if I was okay?” He nodded to answer your question and it warmed your heart. You thought it was adorable how he had a nightmare and his fears from it were carrying over into the day. He was genuinely worried that something bad would happen to you and it showed how much he cared.

“That’s really sweet, Parker,” you mumbled as your shoulders brushed each other. Your hands probably would’ve too if his hands weren’t stuffed into his pockets.

“I’ll talk to you after class, okay?” he said when you two reached the door of Mr. Dell’s class.

“Yep.” And with that, you two took your seats across the room from each other and began taking notes on the lecture your teacher was giving.

...

Peter hoped that his senses would have dialed down the next day, but they didn’t. In fact, they had heightened more, and it terrified him. He was worrying that he might have sensed a sickness or something else bad going on within you before you knew it or felt it. This time when he walked up to you, you looked a little more like something was wrong with you and not as bubbly and happy as you were yesterday.

“Are you okay?” Peter asked you with a chuckle when his eyes landed on your body that was leaned up against the lockers, your head held back, and eyes shut.

“No, I’m tired,” you mumbled, not opening your eyes. You just wanted to turn around and go back home to sleep, but you couldn’t do that.

“Didn’t get much sleep last night?” he inquired while leaning against the lockers as well, facing you. You turned your body to face his and opened one eye as you nodded your head at him. Last night, your monthly visitor came, and your cramps were a pure bitch, only letting you sleep in half-hour increments.

“Well, I heard that we’re watching a Civil War video in Mr. Miller’s class so why don’t you take a nap? He won’t be paying attention anyway and if he does happen to look up from his computer, I’ll hide you since I sit in front of you. You can get my notes on it later,” Peter offered as his eyes scanned over your calm face. Your eyes fluttered open to meet his and you nodded your head gently at him.

“That sounds nice. Thanks, Peter,” you whispered softly and gave him a lazy smile. He laughed at his tired friend before wrapping an arm around your shoulders, letting you lean into him.

“Come on, sleepy. Let’s go to history.”

Later on in the day after you had a refreshing nap and went to some more classes, you felt a bit better, but Peter’s senses were still going haywire. So, he asked once again if you were okay.

“I’m fine, Peter!” you snapped as you slammed your locker door rather loudly at the end of the school day. You both were taken back by your sudden outburst and an apology quickly flew from your lips. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“It’s okay, y/n. Uhh, what are you doing today?” he questioned, trying to change the subject.

“Probably work on my cell model. What about you?” you continued the conversation with the boy as you two walked out of school.

“Stark internship,” he reminded you with a smile, pushing the metal door open and letting you go through first.

“Oh yeah, how could I forget the one thing that occupies almost all your time,” you joked while you waited for him to walk with you.

“Y/n, you sound jealous,” he teased, poking at your side to which you quickly grabbed his hand and shot him a death glare. His laugh sounded through the air while you dropped his hand from yours and playfully rolled your eyes at him.

“You wish I was jealous,” you scoffed and grabbed onto the straps of your backpack. You were about to laugh along with Peter, but a cramp in your stomach caused the laugh to come out as a low groan which you tried to cover it all up with a cough.

“You good?” he asked genuinely as his eyebrows drew together in confusion at whatever just happened to you.

“Yeah, just had a tickle in my throat,” you said after you let a few more coughs out to really sell it. He slowly nodded his head, unsure of what to think but he brushed it off.

“Well, this is where we split,” he announced when you two approached the point in your trip home where he had to turn to go to his internship.

“See ya, Parker,” you told him while you waved and crossed the street to continue going straight towards your place.

...

“Something just doesn’t feel right, Karen. Everything in me is saying that something is wrong with her and I don’t know what. I’m scared that there could be something seriously wrong with her and my senses are trying to warn me to help her, but I don’t know what to do. Yesterday, I thought they were wrong, but today, she genuinely seemed off and that on top of my senses telling me something’s wrong is making me really worried,” Peter told his ‘suit lady’ while being perched on the roof of a building, overlooking the view of Queens.

“Have you asked her how she feels?” Karen responded to the worried teenager.

“I’m afraid I’ve asked her too much that I might be annoying her, but I can’t help but ask her,” he stated, his eyes scanning over the city below him. He turned to his left to look over that way, knowing your building wasn’t that far away. “I’m gonna go see if she’s okay now.”

Shooting his web at the next building over, he jumped and swung over as he repeated the process until he was crawling on the brick of the wall you always saw when you looked out your window. He glanced towards your window, seeing as you still had your curtains open. You normally kept them open to let the sunlight in, but the sun was going to set soon. Peter saw you laying on your bed, your body clothed in some black sweatpants and your big blue Midtown School of Science and Technology sweatshirt. You had the sweatshirt lifted slightly and your hand rested on the section of your stomach that was showing.

Peter jumped over to your building’s wall to get a better look in your window. Was he invading your privacy? Yeah, a little, but he was trying to make sure you were okay. He noticed that you were clutching at your stomach and you wore a pained expression on your face. There were two pill bottles on your nightstand, but the labels were turned away from him so there was nothing he could use from those to help answer his question. Against his better judgment, he tapped at the glass and alerted you of his presence.

When you heard the tapping, you were intrigued to say the least. You were pretty high in this building so it would be fairly difficult to climb up here, but when you saw who it was, it clicked as to how they got up to your window. You pulled your shirt down and furrowed your eyebrows before getting up to open the window.

“Hello?” you asked the masked hero who was in front of you who could probably be doing better things like fighting crime than coming to random windows. If Flash were in your position right now, you knew you’d never hear the end of it.

“Hi, ma’am. I was swinging by and noticed you seemed to be in pain. I wanted to make sure everything was alright,” he stated in a deep voice which threw you off. In the videos on YouTube, his voice seemed a little more high-pitched. Something about him brought you a sense of familiarity and comfort, so you let the change in voice go.

“Yeah, I’m good,” you told the man in red and blue as you rocked back on your heels. Peter looked a little to his right and spotted what looked to be your untouched cell model that has yet to be done. A light chuckle escaped his lips right before Karen told him that his help was needed elsewhere.

“That’s great, but I’ve got to go. Uh, stay in school!” he shouted awkwardly as he shot a web and swung away. You watched him disappear around the corner and shut your window before returning to your bed. You were about to lay there and think about what just happened, but the pain that has been ripping through your lower abdomen for the last twenty-four hours stole your attention as you groaned. After the pain subsided for a moment, you reached over for your laptop to put on Netflix to help distract you and maybe help you get some sleep.

...

You were the type to get actually dressed for school and you would even wear a little makeup, so naturally, when Peter noticed you fresh-faced with leggings and a hoodie on and your hair lazily thrown in a bun, he knew something was wrong. It was not that he didn’t like the look. He thought you looked cute, but it just wasn’t you. At least, it wasn’t you at school. Peter held off asking you if you were okay as much as he did the past two days, but he still had to check. It was not until you left your second to last class of the day to go to your locker that you began to grow very irritated by the constant interrogation of your wellbeing.

“You okay?” Peter asked again when he noticed your slightly widened eyes.

“Yes, Peter. I am okay. There is absolutely nothing for you to worry about so can we drop it please?” you muttered while you rummaged through your bag looking for one thing.

“Yeah, ummm… oh, do you want to come over to my place after school? We can work on our paper or do our trig homework,” he told you while you huffed, pushing the random things in your bag around to try to find the thing that you so desperately needed in this moment.

“I’d love to Pete, but I’ll probably just go home. I don’t feel too good,” you stated as you stood up and pushed the books in your locker to the side in search of the small bag you kept back there for emergencies like this.

“Are you sick?” That damn worried tone checking on you again sparked more aggravation, causing you to snap.

“No, Peter. I am on my period and there is blood dripping out of me as we speak, so if you don’t mind, I am going to go to the bathroom and change this,” you informed him while showing him the tampon you just pulled out of the bag and slamming your locker door shut before heading to the restroom.

Peter stood there for a second thinking how he could be so stupid. He should have known. You were never so moody or snappy before. You normally were never so tired and were much more chipper in the mornings. He also felt like an idiot for prying so hard, but he only did it because he cared. He felt like shit, so he ran to the vending machine. He tapped his foot impatiently against the floor as he watched the candy bar fall from its spot and land in the box below.

After quickly grabbing that, he dashed back to wait outside the restroom for you. Your eyes met his briefly when you opened the door before you rolled them and walked the other direction. You were embarrassed and agitated and seeing him only reminded you of it, so you tried to speed ahead to get to the last class of the day.

“Y/n, wait!” Peter called ahead while he grabbed your arm to slow you down.

“What, Peter?” you spat as you stopped walking and turned to face him.

“I- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry and get on your nerves. I just felt like something was wrong, so I wanted to make sure you were okay. I’m sorry if that made you feel angry or upset. I just care about you,” he apologized quickly as his brown eyes flickered between your own quickly, looking for a hint of forgiveness. You let out a sigh before speaking.

“It’s okay, I guess. Just next time leave me alone a little,” you chuckled lightly which brought a big smile to Peter’s face.

“You got it. Once a month, it will be like I don’t even exist,” he nervously laughed along with you as you both began to walk again to the class that kindled your friendship.

“I want you to still exist Parker, just not asking if I am okay every other minute.”

“I can do that,” he told you before stuffing his hands in his pockets until he felt something in his pocket.

“Oh, I almost forgot. I got you this. I heard that chocolate helps, or at least that’s how it is in movies and tv shows and stuff,” he rambled while he handed you your favorite chocolate bar.

“Aw, thanks Peter. That is really sweet of you,” you complimented, a slight blush dusting over his cheeks. His blush grew when you leaned over to press your lips to his cheek as another way to thank him.

“Uh, so Ned and I are having a Star Wars marathon tomorrow if you want to- oh wait, you probably won’t feel up to it. Forget I said anything,” he stumbled through the sentence as he looked at his feet.

“It’s okay, Peter. Thanks for thinking of me and I’ll let you know tomorrow if I feel like going,” you told the blushing boy as you both walked into the classroom and took your seats next to each other.

“Okay, that sounds good,” Peter nodded while speaking before he pulled out his notebook and you followed suit. You both took notes for your class while communicating with each other by writing notes to each other in the margins of your paper and smiling like idiots at the dumb jokes you’d both crack. It was the most peaceful hour or so you had in the last two days which proved that when Peter was not continuously asking you if you were okay, he was the only one who could distract you from your cramping stomach and for that, you were thankful for the caring idiot that sat next to you.

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#peter #peter parker #peter imagine #peter x reader #peter fanfic #peter fanfiction #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker fanfic #peter parker fanfiction #spiderman #spiderman fanfiction #marvel

[violetwolfraven]

Crossover Headcanons

((I know I have requests in my inbox but I just had to get this out of my head. Also I probably won’t be posting those requests for a while because my writer’s block is only barely starting to lift, so...))

Anyway this is gonna start off from one perspective and go to more later. Enjoy. 💜

Tw: past death, nightmares

...

So this is a... spin-off? Of the reincarnation au? An alternate timeline? A variant? Whatever it is the newsies are reincarnated and remember their past.

Also somehow most of them are going to the same college here, (I’m not going to say which one because I don’t want to research colleges right now) even if they’ve got a wide range of majors.

There’s only one dorm building even if people are only allowed to share a room with someone of the same gender.

This works out well for Elmer, because he’s pretty happy to be rooming with his boyfriend, Buttons.

But then he gets up to the floor their dorm is on and almost drops the box he’s holding.

Because it’s fuckin her. His national-level math nemesis since 11th grade. They’ve only faced off twice, the first time with her team winning and the second with his winning, but they’re each the only one who can beat the other in a math competition.

Elmer can see the shock in her eyes as she recognizes him and shouts YOU and then she’s stomping over to him aggressively enough that he’s pretty sure she wants to throw down physically.

Jack (who’s also on that floor with Davey) figures that too, and steps in front of him before she gets too close, but that girl acts like she doesn’t even notice him and shouts I WAS HALF A SECOND BEHIND YOU SOLVING THAT PROBLEM!

Elmer is kinda terrified but he defensively shoots back well I still solved it first and moves around Jack because this is his math nemesis and his fight.

The girl scowls at him for a couple more seconds then just sticks out her hand to shake, and Elmer realizes that he doesn’t actually know her name beyond the surname he’s seen on the back of her mathletes jacket. She introduces herself as Cady Heron.

Elmer Kazprzak, he responds, and Cady looks like she’s trying not to laugh, but he figures that’s probably fair, with how ‘Elmer’ was a common name in 1885 but not so much in 2003.

Jack clears his throat so Elmer introduces him but forgets that this isn’t their high school so things like oh this is Jack. He’s basically my dad. are weird.

Cady definitely thinks it’s weird but she doesn’t question it. Instead she just asks where Elmer is living, and it turns out, of course, he and Buttons are right next door to her and her roommate, Karen.

(I say Cady is living with Karen because Gretchen wanted to live with Regina and rules be damned Janis is with Damien.)

Elmer isn’t completely sure he’s not going to get murdered in his sleep but he guesses if he could handle the 1899 Newsboy Strike and World War I he can handle Cady Heron.

Meanwhile Katherine is going to Harvard so Sarah is rooming with someone she’s never met and she’s a little nervous.

And in stomps a girl who declares I’m a lesbian and if you have a problem with that tell me now so I can switch dorms.

And Sarah responds with my girlfriend out at Harvard would be pretty pissed at me if I did have a problem with that.

The girl lets her guard down, explains that she comes from a small town, and says her name is Alyssa Greene.

After that little bump, they get along good. Alyssa explains that her girlfriend, Emma, registered late and couldn’t get a dorm with who she wanted.

And Sarah’s just kinda like wait Emma as in Unruly Hearts Emma? Alyssa’s just like yeah!! I’m so proud of her!!

Sarah brags a bit about how Katherine is studying to be a journalist with a specialty in queer stories and long story short they become besties and eventually Alyssa introduces Emma for real and Sarah introduces Smalls and Sniper.

Emma and Alyssa are a bit thrown by the whole nickname thing but hey whatever now they have a Lesbian Club!

They do meet up with the boys occasionally but the Lesbian Club meets on a video call with Katherine every Saturday.

Anyway Jack meets Janis in art class and initially they kinda think each other is weird because their styles are very different but then they get in an actual conversation and get along amazingly.

Jack is definitely a fan of Janis’s philosophy of when someone hurts your friends you attack and grind your foe into the ground.

Janis tells her new bestie about Cady and Damien (and Regina, Gretchen, and Karen, though she still keeps Cady and Damien closer than the former Plastics) and she’s honestly shocked by the amount of friends Jack tells her about.

She does recognize some names, though. Romeo and Damien are both theatre majors and they’ve become friends.

But anyway Jack and Janis are like. Super good friends. Art buddies. Mlm/wlw solidarity. Protective friend pals.

Janis is pretty surprised when she introduces him to Cady and they’ve already met, and apparently oh fuck your math nemesis is Jack’s Elmer???

Jack’s just going oh fuck Elmer’s math nemesis Cady is Janis’s Cady???

Also Regina met Spot and Sarah at the gym and now they meet up with a few other people every other week to throw down like their own personal fight club.

At first Regina was just angrily trying to fight with no technique, but don’t worry, Spot and Sarah teach her.

There weren’t a ton of out gays at Northshore High, so yeah the Mean Girls crew definitely gets along with the Newsies crew out of solidarity.

Janis and at least one of the Plastics but I can’t choose which one(s) join the Lesbian Club.

Meanwhile Race is super hyped to meet Emma cause like I choreographed a dance to your song wanna see???

Emma is flattered but kinda weirded out and she mentions her friend Angie who’s a dancer too and Race is just *error 404*

Cause of course he saw the news story and knows Emma knows these 4 big Broadway stars but it just. Hasn’t connected until this moment that she like has their numbers.

He tries not to freak out too much cause he knows that’s weird but Emma eventually goes do you wanna meet her? And Race goes do I wanna meet her? She’s only my IDOL!! she’s been dancing like 20 years and she’s still got it!!

Emma calls Angie partially because she likes her new dancer friend and wants to make him happy and partially because she wants to prove to Angie that people do appreciate her zazz and despite how she was just a chorus girl until a few months ago this random boy from New York has been a fan since he was 12.

Angie can’t exactly fly over at the drop of a hat but she watches some videos on YouTube of Race dancing and like holy hell this kid is good. And his friends are too but this kid right here has zazz off the charts.

When she finds out he’s an orphan she’s lowkey can I adopt him??? but then she finds out he already has an adoptive mother and it’s Medda Larkin.

Medda Larkin who did more than a few shows with Angie when they were young but left Broadway to open her own theatre.

They fell out of touch years ago but still follow each other on Instagram and stuff.

But Angie shows Barry and Dee Dee and she’s super excited like remember Medda Larkin??? THIS IS HER ADOPTIVE KID AND HE’S AMAZING

And they watch YouTube clips of Emma’s new friends in high school shows and like wtf these kids are fuckin talented why aren’t they on Broadway???

They almost tell Emma to tell her friends to drop out of college and come straight (haha not that straight) to Broadway but Trent is like wtf no education is important.

Whatever the actors aren’t that relevant.

Sarah has a nightmare about her death one night. And with the others it’s not as big of a deal because they’re all rooming with each other, but Sarah’s roommate isn’t one of them.

She thinks Alyssa is asleep so she calls Katherine crying about how scared she was, how guilty she felt to be leaving her brothers and friends and Kath without a goodbye.

And Alyssa isn’t quite awake, but she’s awake enough that she hears Sarah whisper about how everything is just so stupid complicated. I shouldn’t be afraid of dying when I’ve done it before—when we’ve all died horribly—but I still am, Kitty. I can’t stop being afraid.

Alyssa is out of it enough that she falls back asleep, but when she wakes up she knows what she heard. That her roommate thinks she had a past life and died and implied that all her friends did.

Emma notices she’s acting weird and when she asks what’s wrong she tells her.

They both know it sounds crazy, but...

Emma tentatively points out some weird things about their friends from New York.

She’s study buddies with Race and occasionally he points something out she got wrong on her history homework. Something so small and inconsequential that it would’ve been almost impossible for him to know unless he was there and remembered from experience.

Smalls and Sniper have a habit of jumping apart if they were so much as holding hands and someone walks in on them, even though they come from a mostly accepting city with an accepting friend group.

That whole group straight up skipped history class the whole week they were learning about World War I and refused to make up the work.

They bring the half-baked theory to Janis who immediately remembers all the times she’s seen Jack draw small war-torn towns in France and dirty city streets and an outdated skyline as if seen from a rooftop, all of them too detailed to be anything but directly copied from something Jack has seen before.

But the question is if they’re drawn from a reference photo or a memory.

Cady realizes, upon hearing the theory, that Elmer and Buttons never take her up on offers to come to football games because they don’t like the noise.

More specifically, she remembers the look on her nemesis/frenemy’s face when he said he didn’t like fireworks.

Aaron notices that Davey always solves math problems by hand. He never uses a calculator unless someone reminds him it’s an option. And half the time, he defaults to using his right hand with terrible handwriting even though he’s left handed. Almost like he was raised with the whole ‘left hand devil’ thing, which doesn’t make sense because he went to a public school; not a religious one.

Damien realizes that Romeo has a habit of correcting the costume department, like he knows the period clothing for Hello, Dolly! better than they do. It annoys the hell out of them because upon some research, he is always right.

Regina notes how Spot and Sarah fight like they’re fighting for their lives in a street brawl. She knows that because she started taking karate in an attempt to win fights. She noticed months ago that her friends use technique that’s barely sustainable, like they’re just trying to stay alive until they can run or backup comes.

However all this is just fun and games, a crack theory they’re all mildly creeped out by but don’t really believe, until Gretchen finds it.

An article on the Newsboy Strike of 1899.

There’s a copy of the Newsies Banner, written by Katherine Plumber, which references strike leaders Jack Kelly and David Jacobs.

But they could write that off as just a creepy coincidence if not for the photo.

It’s the one Katherine and Darcy took that first day, which is in black and white and not the greatest quality, but clearly shows a lot of familiar faces.

A later story by this Katherine Plumber documents lives of street kids with interviews from kids with the same odd nicknames as the group they know.

Regina was the most cynical about this theory and even she can’t deny it now. There’s just too much evidence.

Especially when Karen finds Crutchie’s obituary, but Regina stops her from showing it to anyone else because that’s just too creepy.

The Mean Girls crew and Alyssa and Emma are... unsure if they should confront their friends about this, because a) this is freaky and b) the newsie gang is clearly still harboring trauma due to their deaths.

Plus, as Damien points out, being gay was illegal in 1899. Do you think they want a reminder of how they had to hide their feelings for each other back then?

Emma and Alyssa share a knowing look because they know what that’s like.

In the end Karen lets it slip when she asks Davey a question about her history homework involving World War II, mistakenly believing he was there.

Davey naturally questions her about it and she spills the entire story about how Alyssa heard Sarah’s phone call and they figured everything else out from there. She even shows him the article with the 1899 photo and the Newsies Banner.

And... shit, there’s a lot of memories behind that picture. And that’s them, over a hundred years ago, when they were kids and they weren’t all the same age like this time around.

The old Davey looks so big compared to Romeo and Elmer and god was Specs tall for a 15-year-old.

Davey didn’t even meet Smalls and Sniper in this lifetime until they were 16, but in that picture they’re only 13 and they’re so small.

A sidenote on Katherine has a picture of her in a hairstyle he hasn’t seen her in since 1917.

It’s a mixture between ptsd and nostalgia and Davey can’t decide whether to freak out or be happy.

He takes the article to Jack and tells him about how Gretchen found it and their non-reincarnated friends know.

Jack’s silently cursing the fact that he really should have been more careful with what he drew around Janis, but it’s kinda a relief that they know, honestly.

He shoots a quick text to the group chat and then turns his phone on do not disturb mode while he sits Janis down for a little chat.

He doesn’t go into graphic detail, but he does tell her an abridged version of everything. How they were basically a family and all lgbt+ in the early 20th century and how they died before their time and got a second chance.

It’s more than a little freaky for Janis, but it does explain a lot.

Such as how Jack demonstrates on a dare that he can still do some parkour because once upon a time, he used it to run from the cops.

Elmer tells Cady he’s so quick at math because he used to have to calculate change quickly and later had to help Jack and Davey come up with battle plans based on numbers vs tactics and terrain.

Regina definitely trusts Spot’s combat advice a lot more now because he was essentially a gang leader as a teenager and it has literally saved his life.

Race admits to Emma that her song made him cry because... in this lifetime he might not have had to be closeted, but in his last he was constantly worried about getting arrested or worse if people found out not just about him and his boyfriend, but his friends. His family.

Emma may or may not collaborate with him after that to write a song about how much it hurts to be closeted for your own safety and how much better it feels to be free to be who you are. Race dances in the music video and many of the other newsies make appearances but it’s mainly him and Emma. Spot and Alyssa cry when they see it. Damien does, too.

Who am I kidding everyone cries.

They get like 4 million hits on YouTube and it’s amazing.

The title is probably In the Light or something.

Also Cady, Aaron, Kevin, and Elmer form their own college level mathletes team and no one can beat them.

(Kevin’s not as close with the main group literally only because I don’t know that much about him as a character.)

(Also Stacy, Kailey, and whatever their boyfriends’ names are might be there somewhere but I don’t know them either.)

Katherine does get to meet the new kids in person eventually. And also I didn’t mention this earlier but Specs goes to Harvard too and he comes to visit too.

The power when the Lesbian Club finally gets to meet all in person? Unparalleled.

:)

#crossover au #newsies #reincarnation au #mean girls broadway #mean girls #the prom #elmer kasprzak #buttons davenport #jack kelly #cady heron #karen smith #gretchen wieners #regina george #janis sarkisian #damien hubbard #katherine plumber pulitzer #sarah jacobs #alyssa greene #emma nolan #smalls newsies #sniper newsies #romeo newsies #spot conlon #racetrack higgins #davey jacobs #specs newsies #nightmares tw #death tw #violet’s headcanons #violet’s writing

[peachyydesires]

The YTTD Cast Playing Minecraft

genre: crack / platonic relationships

warnings: n/a 

bloopers: 🌳 [tba]

a/n: my good friend, alyson, and i wrote this as a collab together! she has an ao3 account that she recently started for both danganronpa and your turn to die! if you like either fandom, i 110% suggest to go check out her work/subscribe to her! she’s an amazing person so go show her some love if you can!! i recruited her a bit last minute and we spent all day yesterday writing, but this was definitely one of the most enjoyable things to write so far! 

Keiji Shinogi (Aka The 1st Boomer):

❏ This man has BARELY any idea how to play Minecraft at first. Hell, he even had to get Gin to help him install it on his computer. He has to learn how to even use the basic controls, and he’s constantly asking the others what certain keys do (does he do this just to be annoying? The world may never know).

❏ Once he gets the hang of the game, things go a little bit smoother, but not completely. While he may have quickly learned all of the buttons, there’s still a lot more to Minecraft such as PVP, building, mining, the bosses, crafting, etc, and that takes him an eternity to learn (don’t even get me STARTED on the Nether and the End). Without his other friends, he’d probably be stuck in the middle of the night with zero protection or tools on him to fight the mobs that spawn.

❏ He’s mostly just there for the laughs; while he’ll try to stay out of the way from his friends, he’ll show up at the most erratic times. He’ll either immediately teleport himself to someone in the middle of fighting a group of mobs or invade someone’s house and steal their stuff just for fun. 

❏ While he’s not as much of a prankster as Shin, he’ll still do some of the most random actions ever, even if it’s not to annoy others. He’ll place down a random door in the middle of a room and just leave it there, or make several holes in the ground while trying to punch some grass to clear it out. When the group is on a voice call, 90% of the call is just the others yelling at Keiji to stop planting trees on their farms. 

❏ He’s not one to explore, but wherever his friends are, he is. He’ll tag along with them nearly anywhere, whether they’re doing a dangerous excursion to the End or traveling across the sea, he’ll always be tagging along. He honestly doesn’t know the point of the game, but again, he’s just there for the laughs. 

Joe Tazuna (Aka The Brave One):

❏ Joe has played Minecraft before, but he doesn’t care about building a pretty mansion or planting flowers. This man will live in a tiny dirt hut and beat the game. The one thing that Joe always plans on doing whenever he starts a new world is to get a dog and name them “Sven” after he watched one of his favorite YouTuber’s playthroughs one night instead of studying. He would do anything to save his dog, even if it means sacrificing his friends’ lives.

❏ When he plays on multiplayer servers, he always insists on getting the supplies and food for everyone. It’s pretty much all he does. He isn’t afraid of caves or mobs, and he won’t hesitate to run towards a creeper to stab it repeatedly. He is, however, terrified of skeletons and endermen since they always kill him. Once, he dropped down into a cave after spotting iron on the surface, only to be ambushed by a horde of skeletons. No one came to help him. 

❏ He tends to forget about his hunger level until he actually starts taking damage. The same thing goes with drowning. It doesn’t help that he’s constantly sprinting wherever he goes. Because of this, he’s constantly falling into caves, ravines, and even little holes filled with water, yet no one ever helps him get out. They usually leave him behind, or they think that he’s simply lost. 

❏ His girlfriend, Ryoko, hasn’t yet tried Minecraft, despite him begging for her to play with him 24/7. Although constructing a fancy house isn’t his cup of tea, he’ll do anything to play with Ryoko. He even once asked Sara to help him practice with his Minecraft dates. He needed help with his wording of asking Ryoko if he could put his bed next to hers, so Sara volunteered to assist him.

❏ Joe’s always falling into lava as well, and he gets very frustrated when it happens. Whenever he falls, he starts screaming into his mic while on voice calls (he doesn’t curse because he’s cool like that), yet still, no one comes to help him. Sara only says “teleport to me!” but it’s always too late. Keiji once offered to help him, but Joe declined, saying he didn’t trust or like him since he’s creepy towards Sara. 

Q-Taro Burgerberg (Aka A Minecraft Veteran):

❏ Besides Joe and Gin, Q-Taro surprisingly knows the most about Minecraft. He used to play it a lot when he was younger before he started getting into baseball, so he knows the basics such as crafting and mining. Despite not picking up a controller in years, he still knows all of the mechanics the game has to offer as not much has changed when it comes to the controls.

❏ What HAS changed, however, is literally everything else in the game. All of the major updates over the years have nearly changed the game completely, including the Nether, the End, the villages, even the ocean became useful. He doesn’t realize this at first until he goes into the Nether and sees that it’s completely changed (He’ll stand there for a moment, wondering why the caves haven't been updated but the Nether of all things has). 

❏ He’ll have to completely relearn the game, having Gin teach him all of the new mechanics such as elytras, banners, shields, etc, and all of the new structures including ruined portals, pillager towers, shipwrecks, etc. He’s always confused on call, constantly asking what a certain block is or yelling into his mic, “Uhh, I found something!!” 

❏ One thing about Q-Taro is that he loves to mine. It’s the one useful thing that hasn’t changed all too much, so he can still help out and gather ores for everyone else. Although, he has to have the best armor out of the rest of the group or he might just commit theft. When he learns about Netherite, however, he refuses to wear it; he doesn’t want to admit that diamond isn’t the best in the game anymore, although no matter how many enchantments he puts on it, his armor will never be as good as netherite.

❏ In all honesty, he forgets the majority of the information that Gin tells him. Even after all of the warnings that Gin gives him to ‘not punch everything he sees’, he still punches everything he sees. He’ll run up to something new and whisper vaguely into the mic, “I’m gonna punch it.” And before Gin can scream for him not to, he’ll give the new block or mob a nice good smack. Beehives, llamas, polar bears, and pandas are prime causes of Q-Taro’s many deaths in the game. Regarding the new mobs, he encounters hostile ones a lot. He’ll often forget to sleep (despite everyone else yelling at him to go to bed) when he’s down in the caves, and he’ll emerge from his hole at night only to see 5 different phantoms flying in the air trying to murder him. 

Alice Yabusame (Aka The Sailor):

❏ Alice is a rather frustrated player. Nothing ever goes his way when he plays, and he’s constantly cursing on voice calls. His sister, Reko, sometimes kicks him from the calls to keep Kanna and Gin as innocent as possible (although they don’t really care, and Gin sometimes picks up on Alice’s bad behavior himself when he gets mad). 

❏ Similar to Joe, he’s an explorer. He loves exploring the ocean (especially the water temples), but his cheerful vibe suddenly switches into a pure, satanic rage once he starts drowning. He gets too cocky sometimes, though. Once while he was looking for an End City in the End, he lost control of his Elytra and flew into the void, cursing and screaming in fury the entire way down. The same exact thing happens whenever he falls into lava and loses all of his belongings; if anyone were to make fun of him when he died, he would craft a sword and kill them without any hesitation out of pure spite. 

❏ He would try building a house next to Reko to get a bit closer with her, but once, he went out mining, and when he came back, his house was on fire. He then discovered that Shin was the one who set his house ablaze, so whenever Alice sees the troller, he grabs a stone sword and attempts to kill him (since he’s poor), but Shin is almost always in creative mode, which angers him more and only causes him to scream swear words into his microphone. He begs Sara, the one who created the server, to ban him, but Sara’s excuse is always, “he’s just having fun, which is the whole point of this server.”

❏ Since his house is always being destroyed, he usually makes small bases inside of caves or mountains to avoid Shin, but somehow, the troller always finds them and burns them down or blows them up, so he’s constantly on the run from him. He also does stuff alone since he doesn’t have any friends on the server (besides Nao who sometimes gives him food and supplies). 

❏ Due to having to relocate nearly every time he joins the server, he rarely keeps chests on him. He has nowhere to store the treasures that he often finds in shipwrecks, sea temples, etc so whenever he runs out of inventory space he gives his materials away as gifts to his other friends, especially to Reko. Despite always giving out free resources and ores, nearly everyone in the server finds him odd, especially when he’s quiet for one moment only to be throwing a tantrum the next on the voice calls.  

Shin Tsukimi (Aka The Troller): 

❏ It’s no big surprise that Shin is just as chaotic as he is in-game, if not more, than IRL. Despite being over 20, he often lurks around on the Minecraft forums, always learning new hacks and ways to troll the others in the shared server. For some reason, everyone has server operator on the server, so Shin’s able to switch between Creative and Survival as he pleases, although he rarely goes into Survival.

❏ His only goal in the server is to create mayhem and confusion rather than to actually be productive; he’s always quiet on voice calls (except when he giggles loudly while he’s blowing something up or creeping behind someone), listening in on the other conversations so he knows who he can terrorize next. 

❏ Since he’s in Creative, the minute he joined the game he automatically spawned himself netherite armor and tools while everyone else was running off to go trample the forests for wood. He builds a secret hut, making sure no one else could find it (in the side of a mountain, underwater in the sand using a conduit, really anywhere he can hide). He has chests full of TnT, flint and steel, potions, mob spawn eggs, and redstone in case someone forces him into survival. 

❏ He’s played a prank on nearly everyone in the server; his favorite target is Alice, as he rages the hardest and tries to murder him despite him always being in Creative. He constantly will throw down an invisibility potion and follow Alice into a cave whenever he goes on a mining trip, waiting until he’s right in front of a conveniently placed lava pool before pushing him in. He’s always heard giggling in the background during voice calls while Alice screams out strings of curses and vows of revenge, which are never followed through. 

❏ Sometimes if he’s really in the mood for some chaos he’ll switch into Survival and taunt Alice on the voice call, daring him to come and catch him and murder him now that he has a health bar. This immediately catches Alice’s attention and he literally drops everything he’s about to do just to partake in the wild goose chase that Shin ends up leading him on. He gets close a couple times, but Shin always stands still for a moment before teleporting away to someone like Kanna (“Thanks Kanna!” “SHIN GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE YOU COWARD-”) 

Gin Ibushi (Aka The Kid Leader): 

❏ As the youngest in the group, Gin obviously is the Minecraft pro compared to everyone else. It’s one of the many games that he constantly plays when he’s not playing with his toys, and it’s a good escape outlet for him. He’s been through nearly every Minecraft update, always mastering the new skills such as flying, potion-making, and new PvP tactics as soon as the game updates. 

❏ He was the original one that suggested that the rest of the group start a Minecraft server with him, although Sara was the one that managed to start it up. As soon as he spawns in, Gin’s already off doing who-knows-what to try and speedrun the game, but nearly every 10 minutes he has to stop what he’s doing and help the others out of their confusion. He doesn’t care too much about having a fancy house or not, so he usually just builds a sufficient starter house (which is actually like, 3 stories) in between his adventures.

❏ Somehow, after the first day or so, he already has the strongest armor and tools in the game: netherite. While Shin cheated and used Creative, Gin managed to find the rarest ore in the game (probably after pulling an all-nighter or two admittedly). He’s very insistent on fighting the Ender Dragon early, but everyone else is either off doing their own thing or still on iron armor and afraid of even going into the Nether despite Gin insisting he’ll ‘carry’ everyone. 

❏ Gin is always the one to lead excursions off into the other dimensions. He’s very eager to finish the game (despite having done so dozens of times), and he’s always pressuring/convincing the others to go out and explore. He knows everything about the varying structures and bosses, from the Pillgar Towers to the Ocean Monuments and the Wither to the Ravager(s). 

❏ Surprisingly, he does die quite a lot. Despite having played for years on end, he still makes careless mistakes even when he isn’t being trolled by Shin; he’s fallen into lava pits countless times and died to the occasional skeleton even with his netherite armor (sometimes he forgets to put it on as he leaves it on an armor stand at home so it doesn’t break). One time he was looking for a Woodland Mansion using an Elytra, following a map while flying over several different biomes at once without a second glance as he was focused on the chords displayed on the screen. When he finally realized he was about to fly right into a mountain, it was too late as he smacked right into the wall and fell to his death even after trying to put down a water bucket to save himself. 

Kai Satou (Aka The Quiet Fighter):

❏ Kai hates to admit it, but he’s actually quite a fan of video games, especially Minecraft, considering he played it a bit as a kid. The moment he spawns into the map, he gets wood for a crafting table and supplies for himself, Sara, and sometimes Q-Taro. He’s usually pretty quiet on voice calls since he doesn’t really want to bother anyone, and he logs on sometimes on his own to build a fancy wood house or to get some extra supplies. Once, he logged on and saw that his house was on fire with Shin standing by it, saying taunting things in chat just to piss the loner off. Kai didn’t really care, though, since his houses don’t take him very long to build. Shin is annoyed by this, but still, he just goes after Alice instead. 

❏ Similar to Joe, he’s always out hunting for food or seeds. Every time he plays, Kai starts a farm by a river, pond, or even near the ocean. Whenever someone walks on their/his own crops, Kai silently rages inside his head, but he never tells them anything.

❏ He usually goes on mining trips by himself, and he isn’t afraid of mobs or hostile surroundings. Unless Gin is off helping the others, Kai is always the first one to build a Nether portal or travel to the End.

❏ Whenever he plays, he always gets a cat or two from either the jungle or a nearby village. He likes to give them fish, and he takes his precious pets on his less-dangerous adventures. Once when he logged onto Minecraft, he saw that one of his cats was gone. He looked around until he found Shin beating his helpless bundle of joy with a stick until it died. Kai didn’t say anything to him, but he was furious on the inside. He later blew up Shin’s house with TNT after finding his hidden shack, and being an expert with laptops/computers himself, he also got Shin temporarily banned from the server, making Alice exceptionally happy. 

❏ Sometimes, Kai invites Q-Taro to go on mining or exploring trips with him, and the athlete gladly accepts. Kai tells him about all the new updates that occurred over the years, even though Q-Taro never really pays attention. He’s pretty quiet whenever he talks on voice calls, so Q-Taro is always shouting for him to speak up.

Kazumi Mishima (Aka The 2nd Boomer): 

❏ Mishima had never even heard of Minecraft until Nao brought it up to him one day in class. When Sara made the server for all of them to play in, he jumps into the server wearing nothing but a Steve skin, but Nao quickly helps him change it by making him a skin of his own image. Surprisingly, he got used to the controls of the game rather quickly.

❏ He wouldn’t really know what to do, and he would find Nao doing everything for him, including building his houses and getting him food and ore. He would make a lot of silly mistakes, such as mining gold with a stone pickaxe, eating raw meat, digging straight down, and ignoring fall damage. Mishima isn’t really bothered whenever a hostile mob suddenly appears either and tries to attack him. 

❏ If Mishima ever stumbled upon a village, he would clap his hands in joy. He loves villagers and trading, and would even kidnap some of them via boats to experiment and test what they could do at home. Some of the others are a bit creeped out by his fascination, but Nao and Gin find it to be quite entertaining. 

❏ Despite being a polite, smart teacher in person, his online persona is the exact opposite. He’s always barging into people’s homes and examining their shelters, sometimes stealing a bit of their stuff while quietly giggling on the voice call. However, he once accidentally killed one of Kanna’s parrots, and he was extremely apologetic about his mistake. He even went out in the jungle just to get her a new one despite her constantly reassuring him that it was fine.

❏ Mishima’s favorite mob would definitely be a cow. He doesn’t really understand why, but he loves their patterns and design. He refuses to kill or eat them, but he’s always on board with the idea of capturing them and bringing them home. If he ever encounters a mineshaft, he’s scurrying around the place, trying to find a name tag for his precious cows.  

Kanna Kizuchi (Aka The One Who’s Scared of Everything):

❏ Even though she’s rather young, Kanna has strayed away from video games for a long time. Sure, she’s heard of Minecraft, but does that mean she’s ever played it? No. But she had watched several Minecraft playthroughs on YouTube before, so she was somewhat prepared when she spawned in with everyone else. She knew the basic controls and learned pretty quickly the other mechanics and new features the game had to offer. 

❏ She thought Minecraft was a rather tranquil game, and she loved all of the details and peaceful mobs that spawned around her. She loves the flowers and trees the most, constantly picking flowers and exploring the grassland excitedly on the first day. She seems to be pretty good on her own until night comes along. After spending all day flower-picking, she doesn’t realize until she starts getting attacked by the hostile mobs that its night. She’s heard frantically screaming and panicking on the voice call before her death notice appears on screen to everyone else. 

❏ After that night, Kanna is terrified of the night sequence(s). As soon as the sun starts to set over the horizon, she’s scurrying inside her house or spam-clicking her bed before she’s even allowed to sleep. Despite people like Gin always reassuring her that she has armor and a sword to defend herself with, she still refuses to go out at night no matter what. She’s also always pressuring everyone to go to bed to make sure she doesn’t have to sit through the night in her house and so that phantoms don’t spawn either (even though she’s never encountered them, she’s determined to keep it that way). She’ll be quiet one moment on the call before suddenly scolding everyone to get inside and go to bed so the server can time skip to day. 

❏ Kanna doesn’t exactly realize that not every mob is either peaceful or hostile. While she isn’t like Q-Taro who’s always punching the neutral mobs, she’s still unaware of certain hostile variants such as the Killer Bunny. One day while Kanna was out picking flowers for the outside of her house, Shin got the grand idea to spawn a bunch of rabbits inside of her house along with a Killer Bunny or two that he hid in her storage room. When she came home, she was rather confused and could be heard quietly murmuring on the call, “Where did all these bunnies come from..?”. Her usual soft and melancholic whispers quickly turned to shrill shrieks as she entered her storage room to put away the flowers and the Killer Bunnies, which looked like regular rabbits to her, began attacking her. Shin obviously began bursting out laughing when his invisibility potion ran out and he was standing in the corner of Kanna’s house watching her run away from the mob(s). Although, after she began sobbing quietly on the call everyone went silent, including Shin for once (although some of her sobs were overexaggerated just so she could guilt Shin for traumatizing her) as he silently noted to never troll her again. 

❏ It’s not very surprising that Kanna has at least a dozen pets. She has an entire pack of dogs (which she only managed to tame after stealing Gin’s collection of bones), several different colored cats, three parrots, two foxes, and even a panda bear she managed to kidnap using Mishima’s classic boat method. She has several rooms in her house that she built purely to keep her pets in, especially the untamable mobs like her foxes. She’s actually rather creative with her rooms, always adding in small details such as scratching posts for her cats and mini trees for her parrots. Her stable for her horses is also humongous and often mistaken for a second house when people run-up to her plot. She also somehow is an expert at coming up with names on the spot and she has a nametag on her 24/7 (admittedly, Shin always secretly restocks her name tag collection that she has in her chest since they’re rather rare and Kanna is too scared to go into dungeons herself).  

Nao Egokoro (Aka The Helper): 

❏ Nao has obviously played Minecraft before, and she was ecstatic when Sara announced that she would be making a server for all of them. She loves making Minecraft skins, and she made skins identical to how they really look for everyone on the server.

❏ She would totally use those Minecraft house building tutorials on YouTube and would help make houses for her friends if they were struggling. Nao would also get supplies for people (especially Alice since she pities him) out of the kindness of her heart. She really enjoys picking flowers with Kanna and getting cute pets/animals for everyone as well.

❏ However, Nao refuses to harm any animal/mob she finds. She sometimes goes on mining trips with her friends as well. Since she doesn’t want to lay a blood-thirsty finger on any of the animals, she begs Alice to go mining with her for materials since she knows he’s a good fighter, and he could fend off mobs for her as she mines. Alice obviously agrees since Nao has helped him out with Shin’s antics, and he would constantly jump up behind her to stab skeletons, zombies, creepers, and even endermen. They both left the cave even happier than before, and Alice didn’t curse once when he was mining with her.

❏ Nao invited Reko to live with her, and her friend happily agreed (Reko would do anything to move away from Alice). They would go on cute trips together, and Nao would build a stable for the horses that they found.

❏ She’s pretty nervous to play the game by herself, and she always waits until someone else is on the server with her (even Shin) before she does something a bit daring. Nao is always frightful when she has to travel to the Nether, and she has to beg people to go with her out of fear.

Sara Chidouin (Aka The “Mom” Friend):

❏ Although Gin was the one who suggested that they should make a server, Sara was the one who created it. She’s been playing Minecraft for a long time (especially with Joe) and was happy when Gin suggested the idea. 

❏ Sara is technically considered the “mom” friend on the server, yet she won’t give a crap about her friends’ issues. If they fell into a hole or were being attacked by mobs, she wouldn’t help them. She would let them die with zero regrets regarding her actions, as she doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal since players can respawn. 

❏ She likes to use Minecraft building tutorials, similar to Nao. She’s started to memorize building patterns, and she’s even gotten more comfortable with building in general. However, she doesn’t admit that she uses them, and she likes to flex her “skills” to the others (Shin always calls her out on this with a snicker or two, but he’s immediately silenced when Sara threatens to ban him from the server for terrorizing everyone else). 

❏ Even though this has already been said, she still doesn’t give a crap about the others’ issues. Alice would always come to her and beg for Shin to be banned from the server, yet Sara would shrug it off and say that he’s having fun. Deep down, she would enjoy watching Shin torment and tease Alice, even if she was annoyed when he bothered her.

❏ Sara spends most of her time on the server with Joe, Keiji, and Nao, trying her best to avoid Kai, Alice, and Shin. She isn’t scared of doing things alone, such as mining or going to the Nether, but there is one thing that she is terrified of: zombies. She hates how much damage they can do, especially when they’re crowded together in a large horde. She has to beg her friends to kill them for her since she always fails. Joe always kills them for her and taunts her, saying that she owes him back. Keiji would accidentally hit Sara, so the two of them would just run away from the zombie. Nao, of course, wouldn’t want to hurt the zombie, so the two of them would also try their best to escape the annoying mob.

Reko Yabusame (Aka The Raider):

❏ Reko is somewhere in the middle of everyone; she used to play every now and then with Alice when they were kids, but the game has updated so much that she forgot half of the mechanics at first. As soon as she spawns in, the nostalgia hits her like a truck and everything comes rushing back to her. So while the others are stumbling around, voicing their confusion into their mics, Reko’s off along with Gin to go punch some trees down. 

❏ Similar to her brother Alice, she gets easily pissed off at the game. While her rage isn’t on the same levels as him, it’s still quite strong. She’ll mutter curse words under her breath, barely audible so the kids in the call don’t hear her. The farthest she’s gone is thrown her controller across her room after falling into a lava pool in the Nether while bridging, and surprisingly it didn’t break. When it comes to her brother and his rage, she’ll often mutter, “Brb.” before leaving her room and storming into Alice’s, and often a loud slap is heard from Alice’s side with no further explanation to the others. 

❏ When it comes to her brother, Reko is one of the few people who can tolerate him. She helps him at the start of the game despite her reluctant groans into the mic but ditches him as soon as Shin starts harassing him. It’s not uncommon for her to have to rescue Alice when he’s running back from mining and is being chased by a horde of mobs. She’ll leave her house with only an iron chest plate on and still somehow manage to murder all of the hostiles while Alice runs inside with half a heart. Besides Gin, she’s probably Alice’s mentor the majority of the time, always teaching him new features that he forgot like potion-making and archery. Whenever he dies (which is very often, unfortunately) she can be heard mumbling during Alice’s screams, “I told you…” 

❏ Reko’s favorite part of the game is the Pillager raids. For some reason, she finds it an interesting challenge for her due to the different levels that raids can spawn in. She has several different strategies, some of which she made up at the last second. Some notable moments include dropping a block of TNT on a Ravager from her tower, spawning in a large group of Iron Golems at the start of the raid, and somehow shooting a Vex with a bow. She somehow hasn’t managed to die even once during the raids, and even Gin can’t believe her skill and sheer luck when it comes to fighting. She often tags along with him when he goes on adventures, especially when it involves the Pillagers (she finds them interesting, what can I say?). It’s no big surprise when she conquers a Wooden Mansion with ease one day while on a trip with Gin. 

❏ After moving in with Nao, she got to teach her pink-haired friend a lot more about the game (especially since she was away from Alice now). She often encourages Nao to step out of her comfort zone and explore, as there’s a lot more to the game than just her house. She accompanies Nao on every mining trip (except for the few times that she chooses to go with Alice when Reko isn’t on) and even takes her out to the other dimensions. She’s always watching after Nao, always standing close to her with a netherite sword in hand to murder any mob that dare come near her. Reko even ends up teaching Nao how to defeat a raid (although she was the one carrying the entire time) and it’s not too surprising when Nao joins the excursion to the End to defeat the Ender Dragon. 

#yttd #yttd sara #yttd joe #yttd keiji #yttd kanna #yttd q taro #yttd shin #yttd reko #yttd nao #yttd kai #yttd gin #yttd alice #yttd mishima #your turn to die #kimi ga shine #yttd au #yttd headcanons #yttd imagines #sara chidouin #joe tazuna #keiji shinogi #kanna kizuchi #q taro burgerberg #shin tsukimi #reko yabusame #kai satou #nao egokoro #gin ibushi #this was so random but so much fun omg

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

But? Damian Wayne • Tim Drake

Pairing: Older!Damian Wayne x Plus Size Reader, Tim Drake x Plus Size Reader

Word Count: 4.5k

Summary: you go through a lot because of Tim and Damian but in different ways.

Request: do you listen to asmr boyfriend roleplay (on yt)? Some of them would be great as fics.

Warnings: angst, mentions of cheating, sexual innuendos, language, fluff, a very light mention of violence, light mentions of insecurity, is rain a warning?

A/N: the fact that every fic I’ve written for these characters has the same concept is very funny but I definitely see the appeal and the potential.

Based off these YouTube videos: one two three

❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎

Replaying it didn’t make it easier to digest. After months of plans to move in together and talks about adopting a dog, Tim had broken up with you. He fell for someone else, a person he spoke about often.

She was a coworker of his, a gorgeous woman if anyone asked you. You could never blame him for falling for someone like her, she looked like a model and was a badass agent — it just hurt.

Now you were packing the belongings he kept at your place to send them to him with Alfred. It seemed like he couldn’t only break your heart and walk away, Tim also had to humiliate you. Out of respect, Alfred didn’t ask anything at all, he merely reminded you he was always available for you and wished you a good night.

The TV show playing in front of you wasn’t being processed by your brain. Curled up on the bed, covered with the duvet and a fuzzy blanket, you were desperately trying to conceive some sleep, for your brain to at least calm down so your head would stop throbbing and your eyes twitching.

Startled by tapping on the window, you were forced to swallow the mucus clogging your nose. Coughing, you rolled on the bed to asses who had disturbed you. Upon realizing it was just Robin, you begrudgingly left the bed to open the window.

He entered the room without saying anything, waiting for you to lock the window and close the curtains to take his domino mask off. He always did that, no matter how many times you told him no one would see him.

Damian stared down at the dozens of used Kleenex in the trashcan you kept near the bed. “Why are you upset?”

“I thought you knew...” your voice was strained, throat too tired due to the sobbing.

“I clearly don’t.”

“Tim dumped me for someone else.” Saying it in front of his brother was even worse than you had imagined. “Why are you here if it isn’t because I forgot to pack his brown jacket?”

Damian plopped down on your desk chair, staring directly at you, “patrol was boring and father is with Kyle again.”

Nodding, you went back to your spot on the bed, making yourself comfortable with a pillow on your lap.

“Are you tired?”

You were, but you didn’t want to be alone. “Not at all,” you lied so he wouldn’t dare leave. “Do you want to watch that movie you recommended to me last month?”

“Sure.”

Browsing through different streaming services until you found the film, you saw Damian take parts of his suit off in order to be more comfortable. Surprising you, he sat down on the bed, just beside you, once you had found the title.

You had to admit that paying attention was easier with him around, probably because you didn’t want to annoy him. The film did its job, you finally got distracted — you also fell asleep.

It became a routine, every night he would tap on your window and make you company. Some nights you would stay up until sunrise when you had to go to work, others he would be so tired he’d crash out on your couch, and a few nights you fully rested because his presence made you feel calmer.

Damian and you had never been too close, he and Tim had a complicated relationship and you didn’t want to have problems with your now ex-boyfriend. Now you hoped you had, he wasn’t what you had thought — Damian was nicer than every member of the family made him out to be, funnier, smarter, kinder. You genuinely enjoyed being around him.

He was extremely patient with you. He’d recommend you things to entertain yourself, let you vent when you needed, and without having to do it, would often make sure you had been eating properly because he had observed that between how much you had cried the days after the breakup, your job, and your lack of sleep you were low on energy. Damian had even spent an entire week helping you redecorate the apartment to cheer your spirit.

Being close to Damian meant spending time at the park with Titus, a shit ton of it, and trying new food every weekend, and visiting art galleries which had never been your thing. Being close to Damian also meant worrying because with all of his skills and abilities he was the most stubborn man you had ever met who often fought blindly just to end up in the Batcave's medical wing with a worried Alfred calling you to let you know your friend was hurt but alive.

Most importantly, being close to him meant feeling free to be yourself. You were sure no one would believe you, but it had never been truer.

❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎

Elevators had you tired, ironically. The only reason you hadn’t taken the stairs was that you were carrying a portfolio full of documents, a book bag, your purse, and a coat — everything was wet, just like you. Taking an umbrella would’ve saved you many nuisances, or not walking home from work, but you were too distracted in the morning to remember and now you were paying for it thanks to the rain that came with the nearing seasonal change.

You liked the rain, its sound was soothing, the smell made you aware of your own existence as it awakened your senses, you felt cleansed by it. A lovely thing to experience overall, just not after a long day of work.

Stepping out the second the elevator doors slid open, you took the keys out of your coat with your right hand. You let the straps of your purse slide down to your forearm as you flexed your arm while introducing the key in the lock, when it turned, you sighed out of relief and pushed the door open to finally get inside.

The lights were already on, sizzling echoed around the small apartment and a familiar smell of stir-fried vegetables hit your nose. You hung your coat, letting it drip as much water it naturally could before even daring to put it into the dryer.

Walking further into the apartment, you found Damian in the kitchen. He was wearing the comfiest clothes you had seen him on, sweatpants and a matching sweatshirt with only a pair of white socks.

“What are you doing in here with this weather?” you asked, taking a look at what he was cooking.

“I was bored.”

He always said the same, you always told him you didn’t believe him but he ignored it every single time. Patting his back, you announced you would get changed.

“Don’t take too long, dinner will get cold!”

As much as you were fine with Damian being there( and his cuisine,) you had to wonder why couldn’t he tell you his reasonings for his presence at your place. One thing was him visiting when you were there and another him practically breaking into your apartment — you were open to give him a copy of the keys, to be honest, but you would really appreciate it if he asked.

Dinner was delicious, shared over talk about your day. Damian was avoiding speaking about his day, about his entire week actually — in the past month and a half he hadn’t done anything close to that.

Sat on the couch in order to continue bingeing the show the two of you had started last week, you considered asking him what was going on with him. It partially scared you, the last time a member of that family had acted like that toward you they broke your heart.

Taking a deep breath, you threw your head backward to rest it against the edge of the sofa. Damian watched you, frowning. “Are you okay?”

You answered in a hum. “You?”

“Peachy.”

You moved around the couch, opening your eyes to stare at him. He stared back, the frown slowly disappearing from his face as seconds passed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you inquired in a timid voice.

“Father is planning on retiring.”

“Oh... are you taking over?”

“Yes.”

You couldn’t picture anyone but him doing it. Dick had been miserable as Batman, Jason wasn’t interested in being like Bruce after everything that had happened, and Cass was finally finding a balance in her life.

“You don’t sound happy about it.”

“I am.”

“But?”

He shook his head, “but nothing. It was a long day.”

For your mental wellbeing, you didn’t press on it. He was clearly hiding something from you but he had the right to do so. It made you feel bad but whatever.

The lights flickered, prompting you to groan. The storm was getting worse, the sky was rumbling with thunder and the lighting striking the city and flashing into the living room through the thin white drapes was as mesmerizing as terrifying.

You mumbled, “can you stay?”

“Yes.”

Damian walked behind you, holding the flashlight from his cellphone to light the path toward your bedroom. You undid the bed quickly so he wouldn’t have to hold the device up for so long, you were sure it wasn’t an inconvenience to him but you still didn’t want to bother him.

He sat down on the bed, just next to you, “I’ll stay here until you fall asleep, then I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“You can sleep next to me if you want.” You felt your face burn up the second the words left your mouth yet you meant them. Oh, you did.

You heard shuffling. Assuming he was taking his sweatshirt off to get into bed, you moved away from the middle of the mattress toward the farthest side from him.

Getting under the duvet, Damian laid on his back. His cologne mixed with his usual smell of vanilla and almonds filled your nostrils as he dropped his head onto the pillow with his arms crossed against his front.

“Dami?” you whispered. He hummed in acknowledgment. “Can you get closer? I’m cold.”

With no hesitation, he turned over in order to lay on his side. Throwing his arm around you from behind, “Is that better?”

You relaxed with your back against his chest, letting a content sigh out. Damian inhaled deeply, taking a whiff off you. He did it again then, finding the smell of your lotion soothing. As he relaxed too, his arm curled around you more comfortably with his hand laying on your plump belly. You placed your hand on top of his, a little nervous yet excited. Being held was a nice feeling, one you had forgotten.

He lifted his fingers, brushing yours. You intertwined your fingers between his, playing with them. He huffed a light breath, caressing the sides of your fingers as you played with his.

Turning around, you got lost into the ethereal way the light from the lamppost entering through the window illuminated Damian’s side profile. He opened his mouth to probably say something but you abruptly shut him up. You did know what overcame you, it was something that had been simmering in you for the past month — the need of being near him, the butterflies that swarmed inside you when he laughed, the peace he brought you. He surprised you by kissing back.

“Shit,” you exclaimed, realizing you had actually done it. “I’m sorry, I—“

“It’s okay,” he interrupted to assure you. He placed his hand on your lower back, leaning in again. “Can we do it again?”

You kissed him again, feeling him tighten his arm around you in order to pull you closer. He deepened the kiss too, prying your mouth open as you held his face in order to ground yourself mentally. Damian laid you on your back, pushing you into the mattress as he straddled you — his lips didn’t leave yours, not even as both of you whimpered while his hands trailed up and down your thighs and yours mapped his back. Full-on making out with your best friend wasn’t how you pictured your shitty day ending, but you weren’t about to complain.

Damian couldn’t keep his lips off your face, enjoying the softness of your cheeks under his mouth and seeing the natural twitches of your nose which made him realize you were actually awake. He hoped he hadn’t awakened you up.

“I thought you were asleep.” The depth of his voice sent a shiver down your spine. “Were you pretending?”

You hummed, “it was hard with all those kisses.”

“I wasn’t kissing you,” he said teasingly, using his index and middle fingers to lift your head in order to continue kissing your face. “Did you sleep well?”

“I did. You?”

He answered, “yes. The best in months.” It felt good knowing you weren’t the only one.

Damian hugged you close with both arms, exhaling happily, “you’re very warm.”

Hiding your face in his chest, you hugged back. You didn’t know what it meant, or the meaning behind the gesture of still cuddling in bed with the guy you had started developing feelings for mere weeks after breaking up with his brother. But it didn’t matter, you were comfortable in his arms and happy with seemingly having cracked his shell.

You had to ask, however. “Did I overstep last night?”

“No, I told you it was okay.”

“Oh, yeah.”

He pulled away enough to fully face you. You attempted to ignore him, shifting under his gaze. Damian licked his lips, “did I make you think otherwise?”

You shook your head, the sound the friction of the side of your face made against the pillow too loud for your liking. “I just... I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

“Is this ruining our friendship?”

You stuttered, “I— I think so?” You weren’t sure.

“I want to ruin it,” he stated, eyes fixed on yours, “more than anything.”

Your eyes dropped to his mouth as he said it, his full lips tempting you again. You were scared of the lack of guilt you were feeling, but you happily gave in. “Let’s ruin it, then.”

Smiling brightly, he dipped his face in order to kiss you. You were certain you would never get over his soft lips, the warmth of his breath, the firmness of his touch, his intoxicating scent, his silky voice... God, he truly had you smitten.

Nuzzling against your shoulder, he intertwined his legs with yours. “I don’t want to get out of bed yet.”

You giggled. “Then don’t.”

Damian decided he could do that, just cuddle his favorite person in the world until something came up, maybe.

❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎

You had been typing on your computer, as music harmonized your den-office when the doorbell rang. Looking at the time to try and guess who could be visiting you on a Tuesday noon, you pushed yourself back, away from the desk, in order to stand up.

Dot, the Labrador you had adopted no long ago wiggled her tail from her spot near the couch as you crossed the living room. She loved laying there, she had a good view of the door and could jump on you the second you got home.

You regretted opening the door the second you faced your visitor. Tim Drake smiled timidly at you, “hi, (Y/N).”

“I— uh, hello?” You tilted your head, confused as to what he was doing there, who had given him the address and why had he thought he would be welcome.

“Can I come in?”

You lifted your index finger. “Just a second.”

Opening the guest-closet, you took a pair of slippers out and padded back toward the door. Tim looked down at the slippers you were offering to him, then at his shoes — as he did, he realized you weren’t wearing any footwear.

He complied, taking his shoes off and sliding his feet into the slippers. When he asked where to put the pair of footwear he had just taken off, you pointed to a mat next to the door, just under the key holders. You closed the front door as he dropped his shoes.

“Wow,” he exclaimed, eyes taking in as much of the space around him as possible, “your taste has changed! How long has it been?”

“A little over a year and a half.”

“We really need to catch up!”

You motioned for him to sit down on the couch. Dot curiously stared at him when he did so while you asked, “do you want anything to drink?”

“Coffee would be fine,” he answered just to have more time to examine the living room. It was extremely luxurious, with a vaulted ceiling and oversized windows.

Curious about the overall design of the penthouse, and how good your job had to be for you to be able to pay for such living arrangements, he followed you toward the kitchen where you were preparing his coffee. It was as full of luxury as the living room, with stainless steel appliances, granite counter-tops and a breakfast bar the size of your previous apartment’s entire kitchen.

“How have you been?” He asked, sliding his palm against the marbled breakfast bar.

“I’ve been great.” You gave him a tight smile, placing the sugar bowl onto the bar.

“I’m glad. How’s your family?”

“They’re great, thank you.” Out of courtesy, you asked, “how have you been?”

He cleared his throat and took a deep breath, “well, after I abruptly broke up with you, from which I’m very sorry because I was a dick, my girlfriend broke up with me too...”

“I’m sorry.” You genuinely felt for him, being dumped out of the blue wasn’t something you wished upon anyone. Pouring coffee into a mug, you handed it to him.

“It’s okay,” he smiled openly, nodding as a thank you for the coffee and dropping a couple of spoonfuls of sugar into the beverage, “I’m over it. I moved to Europe when Bruce said he needed someone to supervise the branch of the company there, the drama wasn’t good for my spirit.”

“Why are you back? It’s not like Gotham has changed.”

“My best friend is getting married.”

You hummed, finding estrange that you hadn’t been invited to the wedding.

“You have a new boy or anything?”

You stuttered, dropping a teabag into a cup, “perhaps.”

“Come on, (N/N), tell me! I won’t get mad.” He deviated his gaze. “I’m over you and everything.”

You confessed then, pouring hot water on top of the herbs, “I am dating Damian.”

“Which Damian?”

You waited for your ex-boyfriend to swallow the sip of coffee he had just taken and took the opportunity to have a sip of tea to calm your nerves. “Wayne,” you explained.

“You’re dating my little brother?!” He whisper-shouted. You simply nodded. “For how long?”

“Eleven months.”

“So what? You ran into his arms as soon as I broke up with you?!”

You didn’t appreciate the tone he was using or what he was insinuating. Definitely not when he had cheated on you without for once thinking of sparing your feelings.

“Damian was there for me when no one else had the time, it just happened.”

“I thought you were going to stay away from my family,” he reproached you.

In all honesty, you had thought the same thing. As much as Alfred had told you to call him if you needed anything when he went to pick up the belongings Tim kept at your place, you hadn’t planned on doing it — but that same night, when Damian arrived, tired after a long patrol, and playing dumb by saying he had just dropped by because he was bored you decided you didn’t have to, you didn’t want to. Eventually, you evolved, as many things had after that night, not for Damian nor because of him but next to him, with his patience and support.

“I can’t believe you,” he shook his head.

“I thought you were over me.”

“I’m not jealous! But you deserve better than him — you’re so pretty and nice and he’s selfish and mean and depends on Bruce for everything.”

That didn’t sound like Damian at all. “Maybe you don’t know your brother.”

“You’re telling me he’s changed? Because I don’t believe it.”

You couldn’t be a testimony of Damian’s change when you had never seen the version Tim described, but you could definitely say Damian was everything you had always wanted in a partner and more — he was what you needed, what you loved.

“You still can do way, waaaaaay better than him,” Tim interpreted your silence as a confirmation of Damian’s change.

“Like who, Timothy?”

“Like me!” he exploded, clenching his eyes shut for a couple seconds to control his breathing. “I’ll go straight to the point: I miss you. I came back to get you back, there’s no wedding. I was too stupid to see what I had when I had it, I know, but I’ve changed,” he assured, “I have a new philosophy, I’m surrounded by better people. I’m not blind anymore.”

“Neither I am.”

He ignored your comment and went on, “let’s just start again. In another country, a new house. We’ll adopt as many puppies as you want!” Tim took an envelope out, “I have two plane tickets here for tomorrow. One is yours.”

The front door unlocked loudly, prompting both you and Dot to crane your necks in order to stare at it. Damian pushed it open, shoes in hand and blazer draping over his forearm.

You saw him focus on the pair of shoes on the mat for mere seconds before Dot happily wiggled her tail at him as she approached him. Damian threw his blazer to the nearest couch, quickly undoing his tie which followed suit, before hunching down to pet the little dog.

Out of habit, you left the kitchen to walk toward him and greet him. He stood back up, naturally towering over you and kissing you softly, “hello, beloved.”

You giddily smiled, forgetting you weren’t alone, “hi, handsome. I missed you.” Wrapping your arms around his waist, you inhaled his scent. God, you had truly missed him. Sleeping without him wasn’t the same, nor having to rely on music or the tv for the place to not feel alone. Two days of not hearing his voice not waking up tangled up with him were too much sometimes.

Damian put his hands on your waist, sighing at finally being able to touch your soft body again. “I missed you more.” He leaned downward, placing his lips on yours again.

“(Y/N),” Tim pleaded from behind you, making you jump.

Damian parted from you, looking past your shoulder and directly at his brother. “Drake. What are you doing in here?”

You stepped to the side, opting for opening the terrace’s door so Dot could have some fun outside. In the background, as you leant against the doorway and watched the little dog sniff the terrace, you heard Tim say Alfred had given him the address. Oh, sweet Alfred, always trying to keep the family together.

Turning around, you saw them both sit down in front of each other in the living room. Trying to keep them from fighting, you walked back into the room and sat down next to your boyfriend.

Tim immediately told you, “please don’t throw it all to waste for him.”

Both Damian and you frowned. He put his hand on your thigh, like he had done the first time he had taken you to a business dinner as his date, like he had grown used to do under any table. It was your favorite gesture, he wasn’t a big fan of PDA but he still made sure to always be touching you — the fact that he loved your thighs when you had always been insecure due to their size was a nice addition.

“I’m over you, Tim. Damian is my boyfriend, and with who I want to be.”

“He’ll never love you like I do, he can’t.” Tim’s tone was the harshest you had heard from him.

He was right, though. Damian would never love you like Tim did, that was the whole point. You didn’t want what Tim had to offer, the kind of love he could give — you were past that, you had been for a long time now and it felt amazing.

Tired and spent, Damian hugged you extremely tightly while cuddling that night, almost to the point where you struggled to breathe. Wiggling in his arms in order to turn around and face him, you wrapped your arms around him as best as you could.

“What’s wrong, Dami?”

“Nothing.”

You dropped yourself onto your back, struggling to bring him in but ultimately succeeding. Damian sighed, shifting to be more comfortable as he laid his head on your bare chest.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled. Damian inhaled your scent, sighing in content — he was in his safe place. “I sometimes forget not everyone sees me the way you do.”

You supposed he was referring to Tim’s assumptions about him. “Does it bother you?”

“Only when they use it to try putting you against me.”

“You know they would never succeed, right?” You needed him to be aware of that.

“I do.”

“But?”

He moved to hover over you, fitting his legs between yours as he propped himself up with his elbows. “But it’s different when your ex does it. And no, I’m not jealous, I do trust you.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck. You understood what he meant, perfectly so. Damian had been there to pick up the pieces, he had helped you glue them together and even taught you to tweak them so the final piece would look better — with that, beautiful things had bloomed, but in between many tears had been shed on your behalf and many confessions had been made regarding your feelings in general; sprinkle in how hard it had been to process the fact that you had fallen for each other and you could understand where he was coming from. There was a piece of Damian in you, and there was a piece of you in him; at every level.

“It’s not relevant anymore, love,” you reminded him.

Damian caught your lips in a tender kiss, humming. “I just wish he wasn’t back.”

“He’ll be gone by tomorrow. And if he isn’t, I don’t care.” You started playing with his hair, unconsciously running your fingers up and down through his locks. “But I don’t want you to have a bad relationship with your brother because of me.”

“We’ve spoken about that.”

Damian had never been able to get along with Tim, his relationship with Dick was great and he had even built one with Jason, Cass was his favorite, and he had gotten to meet with Helena a few times. However, his resentment toward Tim heightened when you two started frequenting each other — he seemed to now despise him.

You tilted your head to pepper kisses over his jaw. “You’ll manage, Damian. You ignored him for years.”

Your boyfriend sighed dramatically, letting his weight gradually fall on top of you. Placing his hand on your cheek, he smirked before burying his face in your neck. “Besides,” Damian mumbled, “he’s not the one keeping you up tonight.”

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[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #426

“insatiable furnace, burning up our surplus  /  watching all essential life become another servant”

Are you a brunette? Yep. It is way past due time that I get it dyed... What is your favorite channel on TV? I don't really watch TV, but if I did, I'm pretty sure it'd probably be Discovery. Have you ever been to Chicago, IL? Yes!! It's my only experience with a truly BIG city, and though I'm not a city person, the experience was pretty magical. It was something I wasn't even remotely used to. Just so much life and business and energy to feel there. Who was your first friend? Brianna. She was the sister of my older sister's best friend. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas. :') Do you regret your last kiss? Nope. Have you ever taken a karate class? No. Who was the last person to tell you ‘I love you’? My mom. Have you ever been to the Statue of Liberty? No. Do you live on your own? Noooo. I don't think I ever could. I would have to stay VERY busy, or else the loneliness would kill me. Hell, even if I was very active in stuff, I still don't know if I could. With how bad my depression is capable of being, it doesn't sound smart at all for me to move out unless it was with somebody. Are your the oldest child? No, I'm the middle kid. How many X-rays have you had in the last 2 years? Two, maybe? One for my legs and the other for my teeth. Are you on good terms with your last ex? Yeah, we're best friends. Do you have scars you don’t like to talk about? Nah. Do you freak out if a bee/wasp flies near you? ... yes lol. What subjects in history interest you most? The Holocaust. It's just so... shocking and extreme that it's oddly fascinating, but of course horribly sad. Are you superstitious in any way? Nah. How do you get rid of anxiety? Do what? Are there any items of jewelry you never/rarely take off? Yeah, my two rings, my lip piercing, and tragus piercing. Has a song ever made you cry before? There are many. ^If so, what about it brought you to tears? Again, I said "many," so this would be a horribly long list. There are four though - "Eternally Yours" and "Another Life" by Motionless in White, "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin, and "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides - that I really, really try to avoid, because I WILL cry. They're all associated with Jason for one reason or another. "Stairway to Heaven," especially, is absolutely forbidden for me to listen to. Would you consider yourself open-minded? Very, honestly. Have you ever met someone online that you wanted to meet in real life? I've met Sara! :') There are a handful of others I'd love to meet, too. Tell me about the last thing that made you laugh until it hurt. Wow, I have no idea. I don't remember the last time I laughed THAT hard. When you graduate, what color will your gown be? Ugh, it was this insufferable red. We got to vote on it, and I really wanted navy instead, as it looks more formal and not as obnoxious to me, but red won. Do you own a gun? No. My household legally can't because of my suicidal history. What color of shirt are you wearing? It's a black tank top. Do you use any acne medication? Nah, I don't really get acne anymore. Are you emotional or very stoic? I'm emotional as shit. Have you ever watched an anime series, start to finish? A few. There's Fullmetal Alchemist (as well as the Brotherhood expansion), Deadman Wonderland, and Ginga Densetsu Weed. I've seen bits of others. Which baby animal is your favorite? MEERKATS!!!!!! :') Once they reach three/four weeks, they're fucking precious. I also really like kittens. Do you like jam on your toast and biscuits? Sometimes. Have you ever reread a book? It is very, VERY rare I do this. The only cases I remember are for Because of Winn-Dixie and Meerkat Manor: Flower of the Kalahari. Do you have any religious symbols in your home? I think Mom has some religious quotes on the walls? What religion do you identify with, if any? None. What is you favorite flavor of pudding and/or yogurt? I love chocolate pudding, but I'm not very big on yogurt because of the sourness. I can sometimes eat a cookies 'n cream one, but occasionally I'm like "ew." We’re going to the best amusement park ever, first ride you choose is? One of those water rides where you go down a big slope. Did you have intense night terrors as a child? No. Know anybody who works in a tattoo parlor? No. That'd be dope. Have you ever had a piercing get infected? Ugh, yes. Worst was the first time I got my tongue pierced. It was early into infection though, thank God; I ended up having to take it out and get it re-pierced later. Have you ever shoplifted? No. Do you hate when people say, "Everything’s going to be fine,“ when it’s not? Sometimes. It can feel kinda dismissive of your extreme situation, and sometimes, things simply won't be okay. Like, you can't tell that to someone on their death bed. Do you check your fire alarms when you’re supposed to? No, oops. Are you a shorts-wearing kind of person? Absolutely not. Nobody wants to see my legs, not even me. Is your grandparents’ house obsessively tidy? My grandma's sure as hell was. She was very old-fashioned and "proper" and took cleanliness and manners very seriously. Do you know how to jumpstart a car? Nope. Would you date someone 8 years older than you? Probably. What did you do today? I WENT TO THE GYM AND DID A FULL HOUR OF EXERCISE!!!!! :') For once I am SO fucking proud of myself. I left drenched in sweat, but I also left with a feeling of great accomplishment. I'm going to be going twice a week now with a personal trainer. (: Who was the last person you fell asleep with? Sara. Have you ever punched a hole in the wall? No. People doing that shit terrifies me. Have you ever felt replaced? Sure have. Have you ever kissed someone who was high? No. If you caught your significant other cheating on you what would you do? I don't have a partner, but hypothetically, leave their ass in a blink. I don't fuck with those kind of people. Do you know who Jeffree Star is? Well, yes. I watch him on YT sometimes and (astonishingly) love his music, and I find his work ethic extremely inspiring. That man knows how to hustle. What’s your favourite alcoholic beverage? Probably sangrias. When was the last time you saw a photo of your ex? "The" ex, it's been years. I've removed all pictures I have of him, irl and digitally, because it's triggering for me. How many push-ups can you do? Probably zero. Do you play any games on your phone? There's Pokemon GO, DragonVale, and Dragons of Atlantis that I play semi-regularly. Have you ever received a compliment from a stranger? Yes. Have you ever shaved your face? Just my upper lip to avoid the lady stache, ha ha. What colour is your front door? It’s white. Do you take the stairs or the elevator? If an elevator is available, I will ALWAYS use that. I have an extreeeemely hard time getting up stairs because of having just about no leg muscle. Do you get motion sickness? No. When was the last time you went to your favourite restaurant? Oh man, it's been forever. :/ Olive Garden sounds soooo good right now. Do either of your parents have any tattoos or piercings? No. Well, Mom has her earlobes pierced once, but that's it. Are you desperate for anyone’s approval, in particular? It's funny, even though he hasn't been a part of my life for years, I still desperately crave what I think would make Jason proud. There have been many times where my mind has wondered to what he would think of me now... and I know it's not good. Are there any activities you enjoy doing, but can only do for a short amount of time before you get bored or tired of them? Reading. When was the last time you felt hopeful, and why? Today, after finishing my workout at the gym. I think, finally, that I may be taking another stride forward in life. Do you find yourself asking for the same things for your birthdays and for holidays? Ha, yup: a new tattoo, 100%. What is something someone recommended to you that you disliked/hated? Girt's recommended some music to me before. He loves sharing songs he likes with me. Of course I didn't tell him it sucked, ha ha. What’s a fact about the last person you kissed? She is very passionate about animals, reptiles in particular, and is simply amazing with them. If you had a child, would you rather have a girl or a boy? A girl for sure. Has anybody ever accused you of doing drugs? No. Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed? Yeah. Honestly, do you think that you will wanna settle down in the same town you’re currently residing in? HELL no. I hate this place. Does anyone call you darling? If so who? Sara does sometimes. Are you close to any of your cousins? No. Are you a romantic person? I think I am. What’s the coolest thing you’ve seen out the window of an airplane? Mountains. Have you ever been in the mountains when the moon and stars were up? NO BUT FUCK I WANT THAT. Just lay in a grassy spot with some s'mores or something and just ~vibe~. Do people like your hair? I get complimented on it a bit. Have you ever held birdseed and a bird came and ate out of your hand? Yeah, at a bird sanctuary. Could you ever live in Alaska? Hell yeah, I'd enjoy that. On the main page on YouTube, what’re the three recommended videos? There's one by a WoW gold maker, a song by 3TEETH, and a video of bullsnakes hatching. Do you really care how many friends you or anyone else has on Myspace/Facebook? Couldn't care less. I only "friend" people I know and care about. Does your significant other have any piercings? I'm single. Do you ever get bored of yourself? Oh, all the time. I feel like I'm extremely dull and plain and, well, boring. How many band shirts do you own? Which? Oh goodness, I have no idea. I own a lot. Do you go to shows mostly for the music, the moshing, or the merchandise? I go for the music. It's nice to buy merch, but it's SO expensive that it's dumb. Moshing, I think is just stupid. Have you ever had anything pierced that you don’t have now? Many places, actually. So many holes closed because piercings had to be taken out when I was in the psych hospital. I was so annoyed. Who were you with the first time you watched the last movie you watched? I was alone. Do you have any twins/multiples in your family? Are they identical or fraternal? No. What is the highest number of jobs you’ve had at one time? One. Is your mom a good mom? She is the actual best. Last thing you threw in the garbage? The crust of some leftover pizza I had this morning. I generally eat the crust, but this time it was WAY too hard.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''altaer" by 3teeth

[silver-wield]

What's your thoughts on when the plate falls and Cloud went to go help Tifa?

My thoughts or my analysis? Cause you’re getting the latter anyway lol I love doing action analysis, there’s so much happening and getting the chance to slow it down is great for getting a fuller picture.

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven’t played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it’s gonna be long.

Also, this is one person’s interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that’s cool and we’ll agree to disagree.

You’re also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I’m grabbing them from Youtube and it’s frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone’s interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 

Tifa character analysis 

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory – I should probably update this since I’ve had other ideas since then) 

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis 

Cloti reunion analysis 

The Promise Analysis 

Andrea’s approval (Cloti ask response) 

Leslie analysis (not mine, but a good read) 

Cloti action touching 

Aerti friendship analysis 

Cloti body language chapter 3 

Cloti healthy disagreement 

Cloti post heliboss battle (chapter 15) 

Clerith playground scene 

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Recap time!

This is a 6m scene I'm going over, so I'm gonna skip anything not directly relevant or I'll be here all night lol

So despite our brave heroes best efforts the plate is coming down. We get a power slide from Rude, a call from Tseng (who times it so perfectly was he watching?) and some cloti.

First thing we see if Tifa looking distraught. She has no idea how to stop the plate from coming apart and from the way she's looking at this consol wouldn't know what to do even if she could work the computer. They were so close to winning and now defeat is about to stomp all over them and kill everyone she loves. Tifa is someone whose driven by the desire for those she loves to be safe no matter what. This is a crushing moment for her.

Murderous Cloud is murderous (and kinda hot). I mean, we know he's got very little reservations about killing people in cold blood because he's SOLDIER!Cloud when it comes to a fight, but I do like the deadly intent we see on his face at different points in the game. He looked at Johnny a bit like this back in chapter 3 and now he's looking at Reno the same way. He means business.

And then he doesn't because Tifa's in trouble and we all know Real!Cloud prioritises Tifa's safety above everything else. That's not me saying he's no longer SOLDIER!Cloud, but the difference between the last screen and this is that he was fully in that badass merc mode about to kill Reno because it's what badass mercs do, whereas this is Real!Cloud urging him to refocus all that skill he's got into protective ability and go save the woman he loves.

I get some people might not see the distinction between the two personas, but it's actually really easy when you break it down. If it's about Tifa then Real!Cloud is gonna push for dominant action to keep her safe. If it's any other situation then he's just gonna let SOLDIER!Cloud do what he needs to. Sometimes it's a more conscious battle between the two and sometimes they co-operate. That's how a fractured psyche works within the context of Cloud's character. Don't believe me? You see both of them on screen at the start of chapter 8 in the church. Real!Cloud is the one saying “You okay, buddy?”

How many times can you count that we get an 1st person pov with Cloud in the whole game? Like literally looking through his eyes? Because this is 1st person pov. We are Cloud at this moment in time and he's rushing Rude, but still takes a glance at Tifa. I don't think this happens at any other point. This game is a 3rd person game. We're over everyone's shoulder. We don't get in their head to see through their eyes. This is deliberate framing. We obviously can't see his face or his reaction, but the fact we're seeing this moment as Cloud and he's chosen to look at Tifa is a big thing.

So Rude's pushed the button and Barret's yelling. Cloud actually looks more halfhearted in this swing than I expected. It's like Barret's fury just isn't enough to get his blood boiling lol

He's about to go after him anyway, when Tifa's voice stops him dead. I can't think of a moment in the game where someone else calling for him to stop actually makes him stop.

AH! Honestly this is such a move! Romantic hero hello! I know it's a classic move from Cloud – which is kindly weirdly implemented since we first saw it after OG, but it's been retconned as one of his signature moves with Tifa and only Tifa.

Also! EYE CONTACT! I'm gonna scream about Cloti eye contact until my own eyes cross lol they do eye contact so damn well! The only other person who got Cloud to look him in the eye was Andrea Rhodea lol Everyone else it's either confrontational eye contact or total avoidance. Cloud and Tifa have good eye contact. This highlights how much they trust each other. Even though Real!Cloud is afraid of letting Tifa know how weak he really is, he's ok with her looking him in the eye. He wants her to see the real him.

Now, I know some people go on about Tifa's chapter 3 comment of “Cloud, you're scaring me/your eyes didn't used to look so” as a negative thing. I've already explained why this is fucking bullshit, and I'd like to add that if Tifa wasn't comfortable with him in combat situations or otherwise she wouldn't make eye contact with him. Eye contact is fucking terrifying! You're able to see so much. These two aren't afraid to look in each other's eyes, even with their “I don't think he/she likes me” misunderstandings.

And just to cap it. They both smile to reassure each other they're ok.

Ok, so Reno and Rude are making their exit. Barret tries the FF7 boomer version of turning a computer off and on again by shooting it. Then Tseng proves he's either psychic, a stalker or just dramatic af by appearing on screen at just the right point to answer Tifa's question.

And look at her face! Whoever said she's a heartless bitch can stfu forever! This is the face of a woman who is broken by what's about to happen! She's lived in that slum for five years. She probably knows every local by name, and takes time to actually get to know them too. She cares. So much. She doesn't want anyone hurt. She's pleading for their lives. Pleading with her enemy. Who literally smirked when he said “there's nothing you can do now”. Tseng has no conscience.

Just adding this to be a butt. This is Cloud's reaction to Aerith when he sees her....what reaction? Yeah...

Then he asks where she is in his SOLDIER!Cloud way.

So Aerith gets dragged away and explosions start happening. A siren goes off. Barret and Cloud turn away from the computer. Tifa turns and says, “No no no no no” and Cloud immediately turns back. His eyes widen and he looks a bit lost for a moment. There's nothing he can do for her and he's not got the first clue anyhow, and there's no time. It's hitting him just how much she cares. I mean, he knew, but he didn't know, you know?

Notice the awkward hand there? Yeah, that's an “I don't know how to comfort you, what do I do?” hand gesture. Cloud's literally never seen Tifa like this. She's always trying her best to remain optimistic. She fights hard to protect what she loves. She doesn't fall to her knees defeated.

I'm actually loving all the extra insight all these analyses are giving me into just how reserved, how introverted, how determined Tifa is. She's had a hard fucking life. Born in a dust bowl, lost all her friends to the big city, saw her father murdered, almost died, her town got burnt to the ground but she still somehow managed to pick herself up and build a new life. She did that on her own. Nobody got her to Midgar. When she arrived she was lucky Marle took care of her. She could've been left alone with no support system. She got in with Avalanche and built a new family – even though they don't always see eye to eye on method, she also believes in their goal to stop Shinra and save the planet. She's principled and brave, focused af. But she's not unbeatable. Stuff gets her down. She tries her best to be cheerful, but doesn't always succeed. She keeps her problems to herself. But this? This is too big. This has broken her. She can't stay up and Cloud doesn't know how to help. Not emotionally, anyway.

OMG HE OFFERED HIS HAND!! I didn't see that before!! (Check the spot where his name is, his hand is between Tifa’s hair and arm, palm open.) I knew he grabbed her by the arm and hauled her up when she didn't move, but he's actually holding his hand out for her before that!! She's too in her head to do anything, though, and I don't think Cloud really understands that. Any devastating feelings he had about personal tragedy he's locked away because they literally broke him. It must be distressing on some level for him to see his own emotions mirrored in Tifa. I said before the urge to comfort her starts at the beginning of chapter 13, but maybe the first spark of that is this moment here, when he can't do a thing for her, except pull her along behind him and hope he can keep her alive.

There's some really nice still shots in this game and this is one of them. I don't really have anything to say about it. I mean, we knew Cloud had both hands on Tifa's shoulders so he could direct her where to go and she's not really with it until the moment the debris falls in front of her and shocks her out of her stupor. Cloud's focused on the job at hand, no time to worry about anything but the next obstacle. By keeping both hands on Tifa's shoulders he's ensured he doesn't have to keep checking on her to make sure she's with him. He's basically piloting her because she's not capable of decision making for the moment.

Someone tell me, do action backhugs count? That's non-optional embracing right there. How many of you have seen this exact moment? Because I have literally been replaying the same 4s clip to get the screen for this bit and this is the first time in about 10 replays that I stopped it here. This is the between 1 second frames when the debris falls.

I mean, this is what a bodyguard actually looks like. Cloud's focus is all on keeping Tifa safe. He pulls her close to him, offers strength while she's feeling weak. He is literally using himself as a shield for her. They're such a balanced couple. When one is weak the other is strong for them, and whatever flaws they have they accept. They really are just a great couple!

Probably the worst screen I've ever grabbed lol

I was trying to figure out the moment he took her hand but I can't quite stop on it and it's just a touch too much out of frame. Instead, I got this. EYE CONTACT. I don't need to explain it again, right? We get the whole Cloud/Tifa eye contact deal by now.

Although, at the same time, that's a fucking scary shot of Cloud lol reminds me of that meme with Rinoa and Squall where she says he's the best looking guy there and it's all pixellated lol

Ah! I remembered why I was trying to get their hands, to see if Tifa grabbed his first or he took hers. But I could see through the playback that he took her hand. He initiated contact.

Yknow, I know people often compare the whole one half is always the summoner or mage and the other half is the warrior, but this screen right here looks a lot like another FF couple.

Tidus and Yuna.

I mean...do I have to say more?

Cloud looks behind to check Tifa's ok – I mean she's not but you get the point. Still getting Tidus and Yuna vibes from this moment tbf. This is the exact same type of sequence they had of them in FFX-2 when Yuna's dreaming Lenne's past and she and Tidus replace Lenne and Shuyin. They're running down a corridor and Tidus looks back at her. I mean, seeing how this type of comparison is usually only reserved for the whole mage/warrior pairing, it's strange that their body language here mirrors Square’s first fully voice acted installment. At the time the graphics were cutting edge and the cut scenes are still lauded as some of the most beautiful storytelling. Strange that Tifa and Cloud could have this comparison to Tidus and Yuna, especially with the whole Suteki da ne always being used to prop up a certain ship.

Anyway, Cloud’s checking on Tifa cause he’s totally not in love with her and wants to make sure she’s safe. You get the idea lol

I'd like to point out that Cloud doesn't – despite popular opinion – have hold of Tifa's jubblies. His arm is under them, wrapped around her ribs, which is actually a very secure hold for him since he's trying to hang onto Barret and keep hold of Tifa too. You'll notice she's not exactly paying attention to her own safety – which makes sense since Cloud literally had to haul her up when she wouldn't move. She's not in a good headspace during the end of this scene, so he's being very protective towards her.

Conclusion

Another great piece of action! I mean, does it really matter if these two are in the trenches or just hanging out? They have a synchronicity that's impossible to deny. They balance each other in pretty much every single way there is for a couple of be two halves of a whole. The FF10 comparison is a new one on me, especially since I don't look at two titles and try to see what about each one is like the other. They're both different and unique with their own charm. But, the second I caught that screen of Cloud pulling Tifa along I was immediately hit by the thought of “That's what Tidus and Yuna do”, so I couldn't not mention it.

We get a clear look at how devastated Tifa is immediately after the realisation hits that sector 7 is about to get crushed. She's just gone. Checked out. If Cloud hadn't stepped up to save her she'd have died. She wouldn't have got herself over to Barret in time and he would've died going to get her and get them back to the zip line. This is why it's so important that Cloud picks up the slack. He was strong when she needed him to be. She's strong for him later when he becomes weak. They really are two halves of one whole. 

I love that Tifa gets her own character development. She’s not just “the love interest”. Barret is basically a supporting character here, but we know he’ll get his turn in Corel and he does get his own moments to shine in Midgar, but this is cloti, so sorry dude, next time.

#final fantasy 7 remake spoilers #cloti #more action touching #more eye contact #final fantasy 7 remake analysis #I knew I missed a tag

[mcrmadness]

Oh look, an anxiety attack, hadn't had one in a while... yay

It's the health anxiety again. I random, small itchy spot just popped up to my wrist out of nowhere and now I cannot go to shower and I don't know if I dare to go to sleep even. It's almost 5:30am and I have a meeting tomorrow (today) after 1pm.

I'm still in the middle of a panic attack, I'm terrified of allergy despite not being allergic to anything. I get these skin things sometimes but usually never due to anything specific. In fact I suspect that it's just my skin being very sensitive and reacting easily to things like a hair or fur or even a corner of a piece of paper pressing against my skin for a little too long. Sometimes I get these on my neck when my necklace is touching my skin a certain way (e.g. when I'm trying to sleep and don't realize the pointy part is against my skin), sometimes I get these just from my clothes and I try to think it's probably a cat fur or my own hair that's just in a position that it is sticking against my skin.

It's just. Right now I am in the alert mode. All my body hair is sticking up and I can feel my blood circulating all around in my skin, ready to fight or flee. I'm just checking out every single sensation I get in case it's not just one spot but more would appear. My skin feels itchy from everywhere. I am so, so exhausted but I am too afraid to go to sleep until I calm down enough.

Some days, life with an anxiety disorder is so exhausting. It's moments like these that feel like a reality check. Feeling like I was doing just fine and having my anxiety under control, and then there is one second like this and I feel like I'm a fool for even thinking about my future because I have anxiety. One second like this can trigger a panic attack and depending on the time of the day (usually they happen at nights because everyone's asleep and I wouldn't want to bother e.g. my parents at 5am), it can just. Mess up with everything. Cause me to fuck up my sleeping schedule because I am too afraid to sleep, so then I sleep only like 2 hours or none at all, or if I have no plans, then I'll go to sleep when I have calmed down enough and it can be anything from 6am to 1pm.

Moments like these always reminds me of how I can't have a job. I mean, what is even worse than having these panic attacks? To not be able to sleep because you are too afraid to sleep no matter how exhausted you would be, and then still having to get up in time to go to work and be there, totally exhausted, as that will also create even more anxiety because of how overwhelming everything feels when you haven't slept enough. Anxiety attacks also drain so much energy that all you want to do afterwards is sleep. Skip any plans and just sleep and rest. It's another reason why I am afraid of having to start a "real job" one day because I don't know if I can manage that. I might be doing alright most of the time and then I have just one random physical sensation and my whole world falls apart because I think I'm dying and wanna know what caused that sensation but am too afraid to try again in case it's something dangerous.

Tomorrow the meeting is with the occupational therapist. For the past few meetings we have been talking about studying and working and browsing all kinds of schools and study opportunities and have been trying to figure out what would interest and also suit me. I also mentioned that I have been thinking about if there would be anything in Germany next year that I could do for like 2-3 months before the summer so I wouldn't have to wonder where to live during that 2-3 weeks between the concerts. Maybe this panic attack is partially of that too. I just feel so exhausted because the autumn and seasonal depression (seasonal affective disorder) is approaching, I would not be on the mood for any shit like that tomorrow but I know the time will run out soon and it'd be easier to do that now than in e.g. February. Plan stuff, I mean. I don't need to do anything yet, just go through options and plan things. But you know, I just would not have that energy now.

I've been having derealization and depersonalization moments lately too. Mainly because I have been wondering my future and every time I do that, I just am hit with the reality and start to dissociate. Because it's just... so difficult to understand how big the world is. How there are other countries outside of mine. How things are happening. My small die ärzte bubble at home is so safe. Everything outside that bubble is scary. I am afraid of mental breakdowns. What would I do if I was all alone in a new country and had a mental breakdown? I could not call my mom if I can go to their place at night. There would be a few thousands of kilometers too many between the places.

I have friends in Germany, but I still don't know what would I do or where would I go. Berlin has been a dream for over 10 years but I keep being told it's impossible to find a flat from there. I don't think any of my friends live in Berlin, either. Nor that close to Berlin. So I would be all alone in a city where I don't even have friends. And all my German friends live all around the country and I just... don't think there is any point in choosing a city just because a friend lives in the city. There is no point running after friends who also have other plans and goals. I very likely would just be left alone in their town, too, if I did that and they found a future from somewhere else and moved on.

It's just. I don't know. The loneliness is awful and one of the biggest reasons for why I have been thinking about Germany is that I might find more like-minded people from there, and of course to be closer to where everything dä is happening as I could even walk to a store and find and buy an album or maybe a poster, or just a magazine with interviews. Something that never happens in my city nor even country. Still I just always have this feeling like I would have doomed to be "forever alone" - me being aroace and not looking for any kind of (romantic) partnership doesn't help much either, just creates even bigger gap between me and those who are looking for a partner and eventually will find one. I dream that I would be less lonely in Germany and that it would be the solution to all of my problems, but at the same time I'm afraid that I would be as lonely there as I am here. I guess it's partially also my own fault because I never go anywhere, but in Finland I can't much because people are so introverted that every social interaction often happens when people are surrounded by alcohol and I don't drink alcohol. Already in junior high I felt that I had no social life because everyone else's social life was revolving around alcohol and I had no desire to take a part to any of that.

Well, at least I now feel a little better after venting. Not having that much anxiety anymore, but still being a bit confused as always. Feeling like wasting my time and being too old for anything. I need friends of my age but I still feel like I was 18 and see younger people and think they are friend material and then realize they're literally 10 years younger and we do think differently. I have seen it so many times, but I just constantly forget that people in their early 20s are still so young that we're basically from different worlds at this point.

I'll continue watching youtube videos. A little bit of escapism before I decide if I am brave enough to either shower or sleep. 5-6 hours until I have to wake up.

#mcrmadness' deep thoughts #anxiety #loneliness

[heysimhey]

Play The Sims 2 in The Sims 4!

I've been simming since 2000 beginning with The Sims 1. Of all the versions of the game, The Sims 2 version has always been my favorite mainly due to the character stories. Even when The Sims 3 came out, I still was tied to the characters and stories of version 2 and it never quite felt right. Then The Sims 4 came out and I was excited to see the Goths, but the story line was "wrong". My beloved characters were missing. I played for a few years and then went back to 2. I loved the stories of 2, but the game play and graphics of 4. What's a girl to do?

Create the Sims 2 character and stories in the Sims 4? Yeah, that actually works for me....and was a lot of work as well.

I didn't bring over the characters from every world in TS2. The reason being, I never really cared for any of the other characters from the neighborhoods like Belladonna Cove, Riverblossom Hills or Desiderata Valley. In fact, I can honestly say, I never even bothered playing Desiderata Valley. I had enough drama with the main three (Pleasantview, Strangetown and Veronaville....and Bluewater Village).

But wasn't it crazy that with every neighborhood, you got a separate and exactly the same Bluewater Village from scratch? So a different Malcom Landgraab everytime. The Malcom Landgraab from Strangetown didn't know the Pleasantview folks and vice versa. I always found that wacky, so I picked the ML from Pleasantview to play with and abandoned the other dopplegangers.

And why couldn't the Goths know the Smiths? Why couldn't the Pleasants have a barbecue with the Monty's? Why couldn't sims from one neighborhood have friendships/rivalries and romances with sims from another neighborhood? Well, now they can! Pleasantview, Strangetown (Strangerville), Veronaville and Bluewater Village are all open and connected in The Sims 4! I even threw in some goodies like the Newbies and Mashugas from The Sims 1 and that mean ole Mrs. Crumplebottom!

I tried my best to find original renditions of their homes from TS2. As you know, aspirations have changed a little bit, but I tried my darndest to stay true to their aspirations from TS2 with the help of other personality traits along the side. I have already played the neighborhoods to the point of where TS2 begins, with the proper relationships established, ghosts deceased (check out Olive Specter's lil' grim garden *shudder*) and everyone in their proper lots.

Original sims who came with TS4 are still around somewhere in the neighborhood bin. I evicted most of them to make room for my characters. Below are details for each neighborhood that I put together.

Huge shout-out to Midnite Tech for creating the package file that allows us to edit our World names.

The packs I have installed currently are: Get to Work, Get Together, City Living, Get Famous, Discover University, Strangerville, Dine Out, Movie Hangout Stuff, Vintage Glamour Stuff, Tiny Living Stuff and Holiday Celebration.

I wish I could say this is Base Game compatible, but unfortunately, you will need these packs in order to have the full experience. I will be purchasing the other packs as I choose in the future, but for right now, I'm good.

About Pleasantview (Willow Creek)

The Goths, Pleasants, Calientes, Dreamers and Brokes are here and are cued as best as possible to their TS2 initial situations. I also included Bob and Betty Newbie from TS1, whom we later found out were Brandi's parents. Their relationship is also reflected in this file. The notorious maid, Kaylynn Langerak is also residing in Pleasantview and is bound to cause some ruckus.

About Strangerville (Strangetown)

The Smiths, Grunts, Curiouses, Beakers and Specters are in full play with the appropriate ghosts haunting Olive's lot. Bella was definitely abducted by aliens (although we can't view all of their memories anymore) and dropped in Strangeville just the same as Strangetown's TS2. She has a story of her own. Thankfully, you can easily decide to reunite her with her family, or let her start a new life. Caution, the neighborhoods are connected, so she is bound to run into one of her relatives.

*For WHATEVER reason, the file would NOT let me change the name of Strangerville to Strangetown.  It may have something to do with the whole Strangerville story line.  But I have seen others edit this.  Ah well.*

About Veronaville (Windenburg)

The Capp, Monty and Summerdream families are here with the Monty/Capp feud still going strong. Romeo and Juliette are still in love. Awwwww. I almost never played this neighborhood, but it just wouldn't feel right if I didn't include them.

About Bluewater Village (Newcrest)

The Landgraab, Tinker, Ramirez, Jacquet and Delarosa characters came on over with their aspirations. J'Adore Bakery is owned by the Jacquets, but I didn't create the other businesses.

About Downtown (San Myshuno)

This is where you will find the notorious Mrs. Crumplebottom. She is content in her little house right smack dab where it is and you better stay off her lawn. I heard Malcom Landgraab III offered her a ton of money to move so he could build a new skyrise. She refused to sell and clobbered him with her purse. So he built around her. Malcom Landgraab IV is terrified of her due to the fact that he remembers the huge knot his father had to nurse all those years ago, so he continues his father's legacy of building around her. She ain't budging.

About Twikkii Springs (Oasis Springs)(Twikkii Island)

I named this Twikkii Springs instead of Twikkii Island because Oasis Springs isn't really an island, so it didn't make much sense. So I modified it to be Twikkii Springs. I used Zerbu's World Type Changes mod to make Oasis Springs a destination world. The Mashuga's currently run things here in their token pink octogon house. At least, in my head they do. You can play this however you want. You can get the mod here or don't use the mod and play it as is.

Honorable Mentions

Del Sol Valley

I left these named the same as we didn't really have a fame expansion for TS2. I was tempted to name it Studio Town like in TS1, but that just sounded too "Toon-Town"ish, so nah, pass. I like Del Sol Valley.

Magnolia Promenade

I totally tried to rename this to Uptown Bluewater, but the game said nope. So Magnolia Promenade it is. Maybe one day the powers that bEA will be nice and allow us to freely rename our worlds....or is that wishful thinking?

*************

Majority of the lots that you see here in these worlds, I downloaded from the gallery. I won't feel bad at all if you wanna change things up.

The custom maps that I used for my worlds, you will have to install them separately in order for your neighborhoods to look like my pictures above.  You can get the maps here.

*************

DID I MISS SOMETHING?? I tried my best to make this as close to the original TS2 version as possible, but the human in me probably forgot a detail or two. Let me know!

{HOW TO INSTALL}

1. Download my save file here. (SFS not working? Get it here instead.)

2. Then copy the file from your downloads folder into this path: my documents/electronic arts/the sims 4/saves | NOT your mods, tray folder or any other folder.

3. When you open the game, you should see the file The Sims 2 Reprise. :)

{TERMS OF USE}

Feel free to use this save file and have fun with your sims. If you make a video, please let me know. I totally would love to see how others play with this world. I would appreciate a shout out too!

I'm @HeySimHey on Twitter and Instagram and HeySimHey on Youtube. I'll be glad to hear from you!

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Ducktales Reviews: Let’s Get Dangerous!

The Duck Knight Strikes Again as our Darkwing Double Feature concludes! Scrooge, the Kids and Launchpad visit the fair city of St. Canard. While Huey tries to work out how the seemingly world changing project Scrooge is financing for researcher Taurus Bulba .. um.. works, Launchpad and Dewey visit Drake, whose struggling to find any crime to actually fight, but soon finds himself tangled up in the case of a plucky young orphan, her missing grandfather and Bulba’s dark secrets and soon Darkwing and his new family find themselves the only three people standing between the world and it’s untimely end. Let’s Get Dangerous with a full review with recap and spoilers under the cut.

It’s time! I’ve been obviously, being a fan of both darkwing duck, if only finally watching it in full now, and superhero stories in general, and this show having told some REALLY good ones over the past 3 seasons including darkwing’s previous episode “The Duck Knight Returns!”, which I sadly didn’t get to in time before this episode. But this is a worthly replacement to conclude our double feature so it all works out. But yeah a big one hour special that changes the course of the season, brings Goslyn in, and brings in Darkwing’s old rogue’s gallery? Sign me up. And it’s also VERY clear that Disney has plans for a revivial/spinoff for darkwing. Besides this episode setting it up and Frank being very clear he has plenty of ideas for this big duckverse as a whole and is a massive fan of the series, there’s the fact Disney conspciously posted a trailer, 4 preview cilps (Though to their credit none really give the game away entirely and all but one take place in the first act, and the one that didn’t is so they could show off Stephanie Beatriz as Goslyn, which is fair enough). And if that werent’ enough, the killing stroke is that the episode is FREE TO WATCH on Disney Now, and likely on Youtube sometime soon given they usually do that when the make an episode readily avaliable as done with most series premires and, for some weird reason, the season 3 premire of big hero six. But wheras that’s probably just to drum up hype for an aging-ish series, this feels like a delberate move to drum up hype for the episode among both fans of the ducktales reboot and the old darkwing fanbase. The only way they could’ve been more transparent is if they put a giant sign at the end of the episode that says SPINOFF COMING SOON.. MAYBE.. DID YOU LIKE THIS? TWITTER US IF YOU LIKE THIS.. THAT’S THE RIGHT TERM RIGHT?. 

That being said I can’t blame them as Darkwing’s a beloved property, superheros are big right now thanks in large part to disney themselves with the MCU, and the fandom reactied with overwhelming praise to “The Duck Knight Returns!”, which is one of season 2′s best episodes even if the cliam that scrooge never went to the movies nor saw one on cable after 1938 is implausable at best and really dumb and I hate it at worst. I mean I get he wouldn’t love rising prises, but I seriously doubt Della wouldn’t have dragged him to one at some point or that someone wouldn’t of tried to get him to invest in theirs long before boorswan. It just dosen’t fit the character and it was dumb.. it’s also unrelated to this episode but I had pent up rage from preparing to review that episode and I might as well get it out of the way now. Point is this episode has a lot riding on it and had all the hype. So did it live up to it? Let’s take a look. 

We open in St. Canard, former wretched hive of scum and villiany and soon to be home to the second John Oliver Memorial Sewage Plant. Launchpad’s narrating and nearly getting everyone killed in a car accident as Scrooge argues with Bradford over the project Scrooge is on his way to see.. with the boys in two naturally. And since eveyrone else is missing and I had fun with it last time i’m assuming Webby is with Violet helping Lena with her burdgoening superhero career and trying to ask her out,  Beakly is tending to the house ,  Della and Penny are working out and trying not to admit there’s clear sexual tension and Donald is once again in the Pantry because he never learns. HE NEVER LEARNS. 

Anyways we learn their going to visit Tarus Bulba, in this continuity a famous and well loved scientist who I’m sure defintely won’t turn out to still be evil... yeshewillletsmoveon. Huey and Louie are excited about it because of Huey’s well established love of science and Louie smelling the money in a big inavation with Scrooge likely smelling both. As for Launchpad and Dewey their going to check in on Drake, whose living here now: Launchpad because he’s his best budy and possibly future boyfriend and Dewey because he needs more hits for his channel as he’s finally taken Dewey Dew Night to the masses. Bout time. Now he just needs a streaming deal. Make it happen Disney, D+ needs some animated series of it’s own. They also do a naturally terrible job of keeping the fact h’es a superhero a secret. We also breifly see drake doing a superhero dive before also comically tripping up and getting injured off screen. Cue.. Darkwing Colored ducktales logo as we don’t have time for the theme this week! And given this episode is an hour long that’s saying something.  Anyways Scrooge and the boys sans dewey head to meet Bulba whose a charming, gregarious man who quickly hugs the boys, puts them on his shoulders and snaps a selfie with the group. And he’s also familiar with the boys: Huey for wining the junior woodchuck science award and Louie for Louie Inc which ended before it’s time.. on public record. He’s a fan of both. And even given later reveals this seems genuine which I did not expect it to end up being anything resembling that. But we’ll get more into Bulba’s character when the time is right for now he shows off his invention: The Ramrod! While it shares the same name as Doctor Waddlemeyer’s device from the original, and as we’ll soon learn he made this one too, instead of a gravity device it instead can make ANYTHING you ask for, with Taruus wisely using Haggis to demonstrate. Huey however can’t help but wonder how it does what it does as surely what it makes has to come from somewhere though Louie tries to shut him up as he dosen’t want him to look a gifthorse in the mouth. I mean Horace gets self concious about it.  Meanwhile Launchpad and Dewey meet up with Drake at the reboot version of Darkwing Tower, where he��s set up nicely: Multiple costumes, gadgets, including arrows with his face on them, and the ratcatcher in all it’s glory. Seriously I do love motorcycles even if I’m terrified of riding one. It’s part of why yugioh 5d’s holds a special place in my heart despite card games on motorcylces being patently nuts.. but it’s in the best way possible. As for how Drake got this sweet setup turns out  Launchpad introduced him to Fenton who designed all his gadgets and presumibly his HQ as well as his snarky crime detecting and st.canard monitoring computer, W.A.N.D.A. Naturally he also is unaware he’s gizmoduck and freely shit talks gizmoduck again, though apparently Fenton does too. Granted Fenton could just be doing it to awkardly agree but it’s just as likely fenton uses it as an excuse to vent about his superhero alter ego, as we’ve seen that while Fenton loves being Gizmoduck he also resents it at time for keepiing him from doing science and getting glory just for punching people. But I love this dynamic, as Fenton’s just too nice for the old “they both hate each other and want the glory” dynamic to work, so Fenton untetionally pissing DW off as Gizmo but secretly supporting him as Darkwing is great and I can’t wait to see where this goes.  Before we get back to the main plot, and there is a LOT of it to get to, I just wanted to point out that Dewey seems an awful lot like drake.. i’m not saying he’s the boys father and Della simply didn’t knoow who it was mama mia style nor did she, in her more selfish form of 11 years ago want to know.. but that’s exactly what i’m saying. THanks to whoever sent me that theory, it got more fire this week.  Back on the actual plot turns out Darkwing dosen’t really have any foes to fight as while St. Canard has a reputation as a crime hole, Zan Owlson has taken over as mayor and cleaned it up. I assume in part because Glomgold seems to have no idea where she went and thus hasn’t done some elaborate scheme to show how much better off he is/kill scrooge mcduck. I mean let’s face it it always involves killing scrooge mcduck. His charitable contributions involve killing scrooge mcduck, his team ups with scrooge involve killing scrooge mcduck, his breakfast cereal came with a free knife and a map to scrooge’s house. Though I do defintely want to see Darkwing vs glomgold. I mean he’s not DW”s normal type of supervillian but still, tell me you wouldn’t see that.. and if your serious there’s the door. 

Anyways despite having no crime to fight and trying to bluff past it despite WANDA trying her best not to help his case, DW goes out on patrol with his boys anyway.. and procedes to just pose for several hours before trying to stop what turns out to be two guys moving furniture and being force to admit he’s not in a great place. He just wanted to fight crime and inspire people the same way Jim inspiried him.. before he you know went insane, tried to murder Drake and everyone on a film set then seemingly died but is now presumibly still in duckberg’s sewers.. or just as likely hiding in glomgold’s house hider in the house style.

And yes that’s a real movie in which a real gary busey lives in the walls of someone’s house. And funner fact it’s on amazon prime and I was unaware of this or I would’ve watched it sooner and will be as soon as this reivew’s finished. Possibly while this review is going on I dunno. Point is your lives are richer and we might have another possible spinoff/gay love story for Disney. Just saying Disney. 

Point is Drake is breaking down, but thankfully he landed in the right alleway as a small figure is breaking into the mcduck industirie’s st.canard branch, i.e. where Bulba is. Also I gotta admit while McDuck industries having a branch in St. Canard wasn’t a huge stretch, it was set up all the way in the pilot meaning Frank had the backdoor to set up an episode here since day one, along with every other major location really. Nicely done. 

Darkwing follows her and confronts her, stopping the seeming intruder from stealing the key to the ramrod device and finding out she’s a.. little girl? It’s goslyn everybody!

.... I .. why was this under clap. I mean it’s a very good message with a very nice garfiled head but i jus... what. 

Okay that’s better. Thank you Genie and thank you ghost of robin williams.. I miss you man. She escapes, though sans key and security storms in, with Drake looking guilty. After some banter with Scrooge who fails to recognize him which would be funny if it wasn’t utterly nonsencial. And utterly nonseical can be funny it just comes off less as “haha scrooge still dosen’t remeber him” and more “Wait you seriously don’t remember the guy who was crucial to one of your plans during the moonvasion and who got beat up on your behalf.. I expect better from you. “ Scrooge just dosen’t seem like the type to forget someone helping him in such a big way. He can be stubborn, stingy and selfish, but he’s not that forgetful. 

However Bulba enters, says he knows exactly who he is.. and we cut to a press confrence where Bulba is lauding him for stopping a dangerous intruder. Presumibly he vouched for Darkwing since he knew about Goslyn and it was an easy way to cover up her involvment and it’s probably not the first time she’s tried this. He’s awarded the key to the city by Mayor Owlson who, while not wanting more costumed vigilatnes, is happy to reward someone doing the right thing. And I .. love this. I was worried she’d be your standard I don’t like superheroes type mayor, the kind gotham keeps getting with predectable results despite you know, the bat family being vital for gotham not becoming more of a hellscape. Instead Mayor Owlson is grateful, respectful and only reasonably dosent want St Canard overun with heroes it dosen’t need.. yet. She may want to use the proper channels but she’s not going to try and run someone out of town or grumble out of them for trying to help her city. She gets it.  Meanwhile Huey’s hat explodes with with notes and what not, to Louie’s annoyance, though my boy’s excuse is utterly hilarious “It’s dewey’s hat”... boy still cannot lie. Louie is of course annoyed at him wanting to know how it works and possibly runining his dreams, but Huey is rightly concerned that he has no idea just how the Ramrod works or what powers it or what prinicpals it runs on. And it makes sense: Besides Huey always wanting to know how things work being his deal at this late point in the series there have been quite a few times, both involving huey and not involving him where something seeming to be too good to be true in fact was and had some dark secret behind it. Counting them off:

The House of the Lucky Gander: A seemingly swanky casino with the best water show ever turned out to be mostly an illusion created by a luck vampire. 

The Infernal Internship of Mark Beaks: Beloved tech icon Mark turned out to be the con artist we all know and love as well as the jackass we also know and tolerate. 

Beware the BUDDY System: Beaks new driving robot turned out to be stolen bulb tech that Beaks hadn’t bothered to fix properly. I know Huey wasn’t there for that one but still. 

Day of the Only Child: Again Huey wasn’t involved but probably heard about it later but since Louie WAS, he should know better. Louie befriends rich kid Doofus Drake only to end up nearly kidnapped because he’s creepy as shit. 

Who Is Gizmoduck?!: While Huey wasn’t the target here, he and Fenton are close friends at this point and he was direclty involved. Beaks trying to sponsor Fenton turned out to be a scheme to steal the Gizmoduck Armor. 

The Town Where Everyone Was Nice: A seemingly central american town having a friendly festival turns out to be a carnverous plant monster that wanted to eat them. 

The Dangerous Chemistry of Gandra Dee!: Fenton’s seemingly nice date turned out to be an industrial spy for .. Mark Beaks. Seriously he seems to love this type of scheme. Mark Beaks alone is reason for Huey not to take Bulba at face value. 

A Night On Kilmotor Hill: The kids being able to go into their dreams ends in Magica stalking and nearly taking back Lena. 

Quack Pack: A wacky sitcom wish nearly gets everyone eaten by horrifying versions of humans. 

The Lost Harp of Mrivana: While the Mirmaids werne’t responsible for the dark secret this time, their society was built on the philosphy of a man who turns into a giant sea monster and nearly lead them all to the same fate. 

The Trickining: A lost horde of candy ends up being a trap by a bunch of monsters to steal candy that nearly got them all eaten and hurt Huey’s feelings. 

The Forbidden Fountain of the Foreverglades: A two-fer as the resort their at steals youtha nd the fountain of youth they went to find turns out to need to drain it from someone first. 

And Louie was present for 9 of these! And the only one around for one of them! That’s what makes this frustrating: Huey and Dewey have grown, but Louie instead of learning from his mistakes, blindly trusts something too good to be true despite the fact he has a running tally of when that’s happened!  I get he’s lazy and dosen’t want this to turn out to be too good to betrue, but he’s too smart for him not to see the red flags or see that Huey’s not “ruining this for them” but has been through this enough, mostly with mark beaks or people around him, to see a pattern. It’s frustrating when Louie was given a whole season arc, and didn’t seem to have any of it stick despite you know nearly murdering his family and nearly getting murdered by a zombie. The show is better than that and knows it’s better than that and it’s one of the weaker points of the episode. 

Back to the stronger stuff though, it’s time for the moment you’ve been waiting for IT’S DEWEY DEW-NITE WITH DARKWING DUCK! I figured after the preview clips this was the one Frank had been hinting at all season and it’s finally here! Dewey, now fully on team darkwing, interviews the terror that flaps in the night.. and has a picture of him just coming out of the shower for some reason.. okay are Launchpad and Drake already together and no one told us? Whatever the case, Darkwing’s first big interview is interupted by Gosalyn. As for how she found them, she followed a combination of the resedue from his smoke bombs and Dewey’s livestream that’s been going on this whole time. As his attempts to hide Drake’s identnity and really this entire show up to this point has shown subtley is not Dewey’s strong suit. 

Gos, after snooping around a bit and even letting out a “Keen Gear!” for old time’s sake, and finding Drake’s lunch box and first darkness poster, reveals she came for help since she figures DW owes her one for last night.. or earlier tonight. The timescale in this special is really hard to figure out and only gets worse.  Gosalyn fills in her side of the story and why she broke into two places in the span of 24 hours. Turns out the Ramrod was in part created by Gosalyn’s grandpa, who was working under Bulba on the project. But one day Dr. Waddlemeyer found out the Ramrod was critically unstable and went to warn Bulba.. and never came back. Gosalyn wants to find him, and wants to DW to punch Bulba into telling her where he is. DW.. naturally does not and raises valid concerns: He’s an upstanding citzen whose offered his full support, has done nothing wrong in the public eye, and is nothing but nice to everyone and Gosalyn.. is a kid whose clearly in mourning, broke into two places, and has no evidence to back her up. He wants to help but he simply can’t and Gosalyn prepares to storm off herself.  However in a VERY nice moment, Dewey goes to her and offers to help, as obviously missing parents are a big button for him and he appricated the fact he had someone when he needed to look into his own missing parent and wants to be Gosalyn’s webby.. his exact touching words. It’s a nice call back that really ties Dewey into this story well: He has a solid motive besides crimefighting stuff to help here. Granted Gosalyn’s confused as she hasn’t met webby, yet, and Dewey’s puns don’t help, but as Dewey explains his Dewey puns to her and his name, Launchpad talks to Drake and encourages him to help her. Drake is in fact reluctant like Gosalyn thought for his image but also because as mentioned Bulba seems to belive in him And that’s. understandable. Since starting out, he’s had no crime to fight, no villians to vanquish and only one person acknowledge his work and existance and that person is standing right there. Bulba is the first person besides Launchpad to not only enourage his Darkwing Duties, but to honor that and got him cleared of possible tresspassing charges, a key to the city and an interview on the hottest show on the internet. This risks all of it. But Launchpad makes a good point.. that he needs to help those who can’t help themselves and while he dosen’t have to fight bulba, he can at least look into him. A look at his dented lunchbox reminds Drake that his best friend/future husband is right, and that he became darkwing to protect people like he used to be.. to help the helpless.. and Gosalyn is helpless right now.. plenty capable, but someone who clearly can’t do this alone. So the four take off in the ratcatcher.

The four sneak into Bulba’s office and root around, but end up having to hide when Taurus comes in, with DW hiding in his massive filing cabinet that resembles Darkwing’s own from the original series, that was retired since by now computers have made that kind of thing obsolete. Still it’s a nice nod. Turns out Huey is confronting Bulba as he genuinely dosen’t know how it works and Bulba is annoyed at all his questions. Really Terry there’s an easy way to fix that. 

But instead Scrooge comes in and while Terry TRIES to use him to brush off Huey.. Scrooge dosen’t bite and has learned to take Huey’s inquires seriously. And it’s something I didn’t notice about the series but love dearly now i’ve realized it with this bit: The Adults almost always take the kids concerns into considration and when they are brushed off it’s more due to personal issues, like scrooge’s pride, than because their kids. And given just how many hundred series have had the adults just brush off the kids issues like nothing, it’s REALLY refreshing that even reckless adults like Launchpad usually listen and that the kids competence isn’t entirely ignored just because of age. 

Bulba brushes them off by giving them the map to the ramrod.. speficially extensive notes on it that they have to carry out as a team. He then adresses Darkwing as he somehow knew he was there but again, is more than happy to help him with any investigation.. and it just so happens evidence Gosalyn was at least telling the truth on some level flies out of Bulba’s files as it shows a picture of him happily playing with Gosalyn and Dr. Waddlemeyer. 

Darkwing asks if he knows them and surprisingly Bulba is completely upfront about it or at least his version of events: Waddlemeyer was his best friend his close partner until one night he ran in raving about a problem with the ramrod and in trying to fix it, it backfired and then he was gone. Gos takes this well.. and tackles Bulba while calling him a liar and pockets the key toossing it to dewey as the two soon run from a pissed off Bulba. While Launchpad tackles Bulba away from the kids, Gosalyn TRIES to trigger the ramrod only for Darkwing to stop her. “I’m Sorry Kid but this isn’t going to bring your grandfather back” it’s then the entire episode is turned on it’s head. While, unfortunatley, the trailer gave away other dimensions would be involved, it didn’t however set this up “He’s not dead, he’s in another dimension!”

Yeah while it makes perfect sense in hindsight I dind’t see him being ALIVE ever being a thing, so well played frank.  Back with the rest of the family, Huey, Louie and Scrooge are diving around a stack of papers and Louie is sitll being a little shit, and not in the fun way in the “well not everything’s a missing mystery blah blah blah”... when you .. you learned tolerance for your brother two episodes ago. Thankfully this ends here..mostly because Huey ends up being right as Louie mentioning the misssing mysterys gives Huey his eurkea moment. Turns out the Ramrod uses one of them, Solego’s Circuit. Solego, based on the chaos god from the disney afternoon crossover something I missed on first watch, was in this universe a mad thinker who belived in the old theory that fiction is just a mirror to another universe and everything is real and found a way to open portals to other worlds. Problem was his methods were unstable, and could destroy the world, and likely the universe, if used repeadtly. Wuh-Oh

Back at the Ramrod, Bulba has launchpad on him, while Darkwing aand Gosalyn discuss things and come to the obvious conclusion: If Dr. Waddlemeyer was caught in a ramrod explosion then he’s likely out there somewhere and Darkwing clearly wants to help. Bulba TRIES playing diplomat again and mentoning that even if he’s out there the trillions of dimensions out in the multiverse mean he may be nigh impossible to find.. and the ramrod’s too unstable for that. This however finally backfires on him as Bulba had previously said it was perfectly stable, and has now fully confirmed gosalyn’s side of the story.. and since it is stable, if he’s not lying that is, then that means they can find Dr. Waddlemeyer and get the full truth.  Naturally at this point Bulba finally stops playing nice and knocks both over and triggers the ramrod which is now very clearly unstable from use and prepares to throw both into another dimension, also confirming that what happened to her grandfather was no accident. Thankfully Dewey arrives in the nick of time with a well place smokebomb and bulba gets hit with lightning from the machine giving him a scar and cleaving one of his horns. While Gos is able to escape thanks to launchpad it dosen’t last long and Bulba confronts her.. but soon makes the classic mistake of saying no one can save you now.  Cue Darkwing with the classic terror that flaps in the night speech. And unlike the original darkwing’s fights with Bulba, this fight is entirely in darkwing’s favor, as in a thrilling fight Darkwing beats the crap out of them then escapes Bulba’s fist , the only blow the man gets in this time. While Bulba still is a legit threat, he can’t match Drake’s speed or misdirection skills. However when trying to get the key, which Bulba grabbed earlier in the scene, Goslayn falls and Darkwing goes to save her. And while our heroes celebrate for a second with launchpad joining them.. Bulba has escaped AND still has the ramrod key. Uh-Oh

Bulba is of course activating the ramrod with SCrooge and the boys telling him to stop.. it’s too dangerous... but Bulba decides to get dangerous and pissed at darkwing, unleahses the fearsome four! Cue act break. We’ll be right back. Let’s have an intermission shall we. 

Okay break’s over. St. Canard isn’t doing great as the fearsome four have locked down the city, with Gizmoduck barely holding his own against bushroot and unable to get past, and thus meaning implicitly no one else from duckberg can either and with scrooge and the boys missing, Mayor Owlson calls on darkwing to save them, again giving her more points in my book as she rightly figures the guy dressed up as the hero from the tv show and playing him for reasl is the best person to face four villians from a 90′s tv show suddenly out and about and holding her city hostage. 

But Drake is spiraling a bit as these are super villians with super powers. This dosen’t quite work for me as A) He’s a super fan and thus should know their weaknesses and B) What.. what did he expect. Even the vast majority of Batman’s Rogues Gallery is super powered. But it’s a quick speed bump, understandable as Drake probably didn’t grasp the very real reality of fighting super crime. We also get to see all 4 classic DW Badguys int heir glory, and beating up bonkers, who apparently exists in this universe which is more suprising than it should be. HOwever Darkwing, ends up accidently coming up with a plan: capture one of them, get them to let them into bulba’s heavily foretfied lab turned lair, and use the ramrod to send them home and find dr. waddlemeyer. Easy. Well okay not so much as the two argue over Gosalyn coming along but Launchpad’s experince has taught him kids are the best adventuerers at all and they just need to be an adventure family. Gosalyn’s dewey, Darkwing’s launchpad and Launchpad’s the uncle.. not quite the right congifuration but his heart’s in the right place.. even if Gos refuses a family since she still has one.. even if you know she can always add the two of them in. Eh semantics point is WANDA found Quackerjack and Goslyn rightly points out they can handle just one villian. So they head out. Also during the scene Fenton tried to contact them but Darkwing semeingly brushed him off.. we’ll get to that later. As the camera closes in on Scrooge and the boys being seen as missing we find the boys at least as Bulba throws them in jail. Scrooge is still missing, though we’ll find out where he is soon enough. Bulba returns to his office to find Bradford. Unsuprisingly finding the circuit wasn’t an accident and Bulba was working out the circuit for F.O.W.L. this whole time. However Bradford also isn’t remotley happy about how big and bombastic things are getting. After all his modeus operandi is stealthy and quite not you know hyjacking an entire city with an unstable super science device and 4 villians from an old cartoon show. Bulba points out hey he wanted the world, this is the way to do it and when Bradford continues to push back against him Bulba rants: he’s just like scrooge or the waddlemeyers or darkwing no vision. Bradford may not see fowl as supervillians, which no dude you are just because you don’t operate in the open dosen’t make you not supervillians. one of you wears a hood for fucks sake. Supervillians don’t have to wear costumes just ask the kingpin.. or his lookalike bulba who has his newfound minons take out bradford and throws him in with the kids. Yeah maybe.. don’t downtalk the well intentioned madman. This is why you haven’t taken the world yet. But with both his bosses gone Bulba feels they need a big splash and takes Liquidator’s suggestion of killing darkwing duck, and sends everyone’s faviorite dog shaped liquid pitchman to bring him to Bulba. Side note I watched a few episodes to see if the series gets darkwing’s villians  down.. what changed. and .. yeah it ended up being irrlevant as while the four do get to show their stuff and liquidator, my faviorite so far and sadly the most underused, relaly gets time to shine, they aren’t really that diffrent. Except for bushroot who weirdly only uses godzilla noises now. Thanks I hate it. Otherwise though it’s pretty accurate to the series and hopefully wtih a reboot we’ll get full on reboot versions of all four. 

Meanwhile Team Darkwing stakes out quackerjack, with Darkwing still unsure of what to do, and Launchpad having brought snacks like a good uncle. Yeah while he did immitate scrooge for a second it’s clear he’s taking after donald. Awwwwwww. The two then procede to think over one of quackerjacks episodes and while gos goes to find him, they sing the theme song. Great. They do end up finding him.. and as in the episode it’s inside a giant mech.. that probably wasn’t cgi in the show.. or maybe it was but god it’d be awesomely horendous.. somebody make that. They narrowly escape him.. but run into liquidator instead. Wuh-Oh.  Meanwhile, literally as these bits are intercut but it was just easier to do it this way, Bradford is thrown in his cell and the kids are curious why he’s here, with Huey assuming he’s getting money and the kids breaking out with Bradford forced to follow, though caling Heron for an evac. Dewey actually has a plan: Since he knows Darkwing an Gosalyn won’t stop till they get to the ramrod, they simply need to find the ramrod and wait for them to show up and offer a way out, though Bushroot bars the way. Thankfully Dewey knows who he is as Launchpad naturally made him watch a LOT of darkwing duck but hey it came in handy and gives him something to bond with his birth dad over so that’s a bonus. 

The three make their way through, with Dewey singing the darkwing theme song.. and naturally being the one to trip the vines. our heroes make it out alive but bradford  is pisseeeeedddddddddd. And in his rage accidently says maybe a bit too much after dewey incorrectly assumes he’s never felt this alive in years. 

“I’ve never been closer to death thanks to your foolhardy adventuring! If you didn’t meddle with forces you didn’t understand Magica De Spell wouldn’t have broken the bin, the moon never would’ve invaded earth and all of reality wouldn’t be in jeopardy! SOMEONE HAS TO PUT AN END TO THIS!” Yeah this speech .. is damn good hence me quoting it in full and Mark Evan Jackson really sells it. While granted we knew this was what started FOWL trying to elimiate the ducks, that’s how we found out FOWL existed still after all at the end of last season, here it becomes clear that despite Bradford saying it’s just buisness and seemingly being business minded.. this is PERSONAL. He genuinely seems to hate the ducks and their adventuers and the damage they cause and seems to blame them and soley them for everything that goes wrong.

And I was going to say “Well he’s not entirley wrong” as their adventures have had consequences.. but as I looked through the episodes.. I realized I was wrong. Out of 60 episodes so far, the ducks actions have only threanted duckberg or Scrooge’s buisness a handful and most of those are Louie. They are :

Louie misusing little bulb in the great dime chase wrecking parts of the bin

The beanstalk incident from Jaw$, which Scrooge was called out on in the public. 

Gizmoducks messy bank robbery prevention in who is gizmoduck, easily outweighed by everything since. 

Destroying an underwater research station in the depths of cousin fethry which was in part due to natural wildlife. 

Scrooge’s flu and stubborness tanking stocks in “The 87 cent solution” not to mention destroying property. While yes Scrooge was being played by glomgold his own stubborness and the kids refusal to call beakly lead to it playing out longer than it should have. 

Ruined an expensive movie production (Which is partly Jim’s fault, but scrooge still didn’t get intolved at any point or have anyone more experinced oversee boreswan or even ever contact jim about a cameo. )

Louie nearly destroying time itself in timephoon.

Della giving the moonlanders the blueprints for the spear

And as you can tell almost all of them aside from louie’s two incdients involve some form of extenuating circumstances. While Chaos has insued it’s never been intentional and always been cleaned up. Even the invasion, as close a call as that was, was solved BY the family and their allies.. and glomgold, but hey sometimes you need an x factor.  Most of the duck’s actions have only backfired on themselves of people nowhere near duckberg or scrooge’s intrests and most villians gunning for them would regardless if scrooge was active or not: Glomgold hates scrooge for entirely personal reasons, Magica was locked up for good reason and while she got out due to the family’s rift, she would’ve done what she did with the bin regardless, the beagles just want their land back even if Scrooge rightfully owns it, Beaks maniuplated fenton to get the armor and now goes after him out of jealousy, and Lunaris was already going after earth Della just sped it up and did so in good faith entirely unaware he was a invader. These nuts would be gunning for scrooge anyway, and while some of it’s due to his life as an adventuerer, said life was started before Bradford was born. Scrooge isn’t responsible for guys coming after him any more than batman, or spide-rman. Sure a hero being around gives them reason to keep trying but it also means there’s someone to STOP them.  And more importantly, as I always intended to prove, their adventures have done more good than harm: Beisdes the obvious mending and extending of their family, with Donald and Scrooge patching things up and Beakly, Launchpad and especially webby being warmly welcomed in and Della finally finding a way home, not to mention their various allies, over the last 60 episodes our heroes have, and yes another list and a long one so buckle up. In chrnological order:

Brought clean, limitless water to duckberg, if through scrooge’s water company. 

Defeated a luck vampire that was kidnapping innocent people (Okay Gladstone’s probably mildly incident but even he didn’t deserve that) and likely left him unable to continue his scheme. 

Freed a lost and enslaved Egyptian civlization from a tyrant and brought them quite literally into light.. and gave them burritos. 

Defeated Zeus.. not really a huge change for humanity but given what a dick he is I’m counting it. 

Through Gyro’s invetion of the gizmotech armor and Fenton’s use of it, gave duckberg a superhero whose since cleaned up crime, keeps the city safe while scrooge isn’t around and is beloved by the city. 

Stopped a known super spy.. who works for Bradford but still. 

Defeated Magica, saved the entire city, and depowered her all in one day and all together.

Found an entirely new and giant species of plankton and gave their cousin a purpose

Destroyed an evil plant monster that had likely eaten dozens before that. 

Helped a man find his family’s treasured lamp

Opened a museum wing to share Scrooge’s various treasures with the world. 

Hundreds of years ago stopped a robber baron from bleeding a town dry. 

Donald selflessly possibly sacrificing himself in a dangerous rocket to try and get home to warn earth and his family of the coming invasion. 

Taught Lena how to love herself, got her to turn against magica, and then with Violet’s help Webby helped her return to life, and find a home where she’s actually loved and wanted and finally happy and free. 

Stopped beaks rampage.. granted it was with stolen gizmotech, but he still stole it int he first place. 

Gave the Drakes an adopted son who genuinely loves them and sucessfuly gave them finacial freedom from their cruel, sociopathic biological son. 

Stopped an army of scrooge’s greatest foes from stealing his company. 

Formed a resistance against the moonlander invasion, stopping it eventually with glomgold and the cousins help. 

After that stopping Lunaris backup plan to destroy the earth itself along with his own people. 

As a result of all of this, despite the invasion, introducing a new population of happy, repentant for their invasion of the world aliens into duckberg who have been loyal and hardworking. 

If unknowingly stopping Fowl’s own agent from killing everyone in duckberg. 

Saving a lost society of mermaids and helping them start over

Sucessfully saving a charity gala from hyjackers. 

Helping Daisy start the career she wants. 

Saving BOYD from being hyjacked by dr akita

Saving all of Tokyok from Akita’s plans for boyd.

Finally letting BOYD be his own boy and break free from his past. 

Defeating team Ragnarok and saving the earth from the end of days. 

Defeating the phantom blot while unlocking Lena’s powers, both saving an innocent child from death and giving duckberg protection from Magica once and for all. 

Helping penny adjust to earth giving Duckberg another defender besides Gizmoduck and the clan mcduck. 

Stopping ponce de leon from draining the youth from anyone else and restoring all his victims. 

So yeah five times the number of bad things they’ve done or money they’ve lost. For all the chaos it causes the ducks have changed so many lives and not just their own for the better. And I think that’s the problem: Bradford only sees thing in the terms of possesion in money, and helping people gets him NONE of that. To him all of this is just more risks to the world and his control of it. To him Scrooge has near complete control of duckberg, thousands of buisnesses, the potetial to grip the world.. and he uses it to seemingly endanger it and better lives instead of his own. I mean he has enriched his own but still. Bradford simply CAN’T see past himself or his own saftey and greed to see any benifit for anyone else. ONly himself and with scrooge gone the world is his, the world is safe, and the world is better. In other words.. he’s who scrooge ALMOST became, minus the effort to get things himself. A bitter old man who cares only about himself and his possesions and wants nothing else. We’ve seen it here and we’ve seen it in the life and times: Without his family scrooge grows cold and alone.. and without anyone to really care about Bradford is what he’d become.  He’sd also forced to eat his transmitter after blaming his outburst on his lack of medication. Wah Wah. 

Back at Darkwing Tower, after what feels like 80 years, our heroes squabble a bit as Gosalyn wants to run off after another villian to get to her grandpa while Darkwing wants them to get some rest while he takes care of some buisness> Gosalyn balks at this, all but shouts YOUR NOT MY REAL DAD! and then runs off to the overlook of hte tower. While Darkwing takes a call with Fenton at long last, Launchpad goes to comfort the girl. She admits straight up she was a bit hard on the guy she’s just desperate to find him. And it turns out darkwing as over hte last.. few nights? Wait....

I’m genuinely confused as the time skip at the end of act one indicated a day at most yet i’ts apparently been several and drake’s been loosing sleep over it? And even WITH the lockdown the rest of the duck family hasn’t barged in? I mean yes the four are keeping the gates shut but even with fenton trying, I highly doubt della has the patience to wait while her kids and baiscally dad are in serious danger, and they still have the cloudslayer/sunchaser and while yes bushroots pplans could stretch up it’s as simple as della flying up and then landing somewhere. I don’t think mayor owlson would complain TOO much about property damage and while scrooge would grumble he’d pay for it. Point is the timescale here is confusingingly worded. At most i’d say a day has passed and darkwing hasn’t slept since last night, as that makes more sense than “Whelp I guess our famiy’s been missing for days nothing weird about that. As I said the timescale for this episode is really weird and one of it’s few problems, the other being, now we’ve met them might as well get out of the way, how throwaway darkwing’s foes feel. They all, minus mega volt, get a moment to shine but they all feel like interchangable goons. Like any of them could’ve done any of their scens just swap out the gimmick. I do get this episode has a LOTTTTTT going on at once, so I get any character bits with them probably got shoved out and odds are we’ll get “real world” throughly updated versions next time, it just feels weird to make such a big deal and bring the fearsome foursome in and not either give them a bigger roll or have them stick around for the future, though as I said frank will probably remake them from the ground up for the reboot with new origins and what not, and some might intentional take after them like drake did with tv darkwing, so fair enough, just felt it was a bit of a waste but I understand it given the sheer amount of stuff to fit into a 45 minute special. 

Back on the actual plot though Darkwing’s been up all night conversing with Fenton trying to find dr. waddlemeyer. And Fenton sadly has no good news: Not only does the Ramrod have only one shot left in it before it breaks reality, but even if that gives them one shot to find Dr. Waddlemeyer.. there are trilions of universes out there. The odds of finding it before reality goes bye bye are slim to none. But Darkwing refuses to give up as he refuses to let Gosalyn down. It shows that despite his earlier fear.. Drake is a damn good person and wants to make up for not beliving in gosalyn, to help her anyway he can no matter what it takes. Gosalyn realizes she’s been kind of a dick and helps darkwing and herself get some sleep, and in a reversal of the scene from Darkly Dawns the duck, hums little girl blue to him. Awwww.. my heart.. it’s too full!. 

Back at the tower, the boys and bradford find the ramrod and bradford grumbles as he finds where scrooge is: trapped in the ORIGINAL ducktales reality, though using the remastered proportions and blue eyes. It’s a good gag especially since Bulba specifically trapped him in this scene. 

Beautiful. Bradford wonders how the hell he’s going to cover this up.. and Huey overhears him, having already been suspcious because while good at running a massive shadowy conspiracy, he didn’t you know, tell heron to keep it down on the transponder as the boys were around and her continuned interputions and his outburst earlier made Huey suspcious. Before Bradford can cover he starts coughing (With Dewey’s pricless injection of “Oh no we killed him!”) and coughs up the transmitter.. with Heron inconvently pointing out he’s fowl high command. He’s the bad guy.. from the kids point of view at least. But Bradford just chucks them into the 87 dimension where they stare blankly at scroog’es rampage. So now it’s all down to team darkwing.  Speaking of which their all asleep but Wanda wakes darkwing up and in another ddtd parallel, he leaves to take care of this himself, if without Gosalyn waking up this time. His reason is simple though: The ramrod has fired up and this is their only shot at getting her grandpa back. So Darkwing strolls in.. and once Bulba and the fearsome four marvel at his directness, Bulba sends them to knock his brains out and drag him in. Thankfully Gosalyn and Launchpad wakeup and while Gosalyn is mad for a second, she sees him getting drug in and finally realizes just charging in isn’t going to do it. .and since Launchpad knows DW like the back of his hand, he gets them in by dressing them up as Jumbalya Jake and the Bugmaster. I’ve heard of both though why the hell Frank chose Jumbalya jake over .. ANYONE else, is beyond me. Bugmaster is fairly popular, Jumbalya Jake.. is basically a less intresting fuzzy lumpkins. Regradsleess it works and our heroes make their way inside. 

Bulba is preparing to his big hyjack the airways villian speech, contacting the leaders of the world.. and killing darkwing, whose none to happy about it to show their serious with an ultimatium: either let him use the ramrod to change the world for hte better or else. And this seems a good as time as any to talk about Bulba.. whose utterly EXCELLENT in the reboot. And I loved the original but instead of just being a super comptietn villian bulba is instead a well meaning one. While he embraces the supervillian lifestyle and flunkies and flamboyance, he’s also just trying to remake the world, to make it BETTER than it was beofre, to end hunger, no traffic acidents. It dosen’t make him a good person, much like magneto or disney’s own toffee, the ends do not jusify the means and he’s likely going to destroy reality in the process, and it’s clear his own arrogance is at much at play as his desire to do goo dand anyone with valid concerns is just a doubting asshole. He’s a compelling villian and James Monroe englehart REALLY fucking brings it, creating a villian with style, a mission and competence galor. He’s really damn good and easily tops the original which is not easy at all, but props to frank for doing it. 

But before he can get started, Gosalyn throws the smoke bombs down all around and does Darkwing’s terror that flaps in the night bit for him, and the distractoin allows DW to escape and kick bulba in the face. A HELL of a fight insues. That’s one of the best things this series does is fight corpegraphy as while battles aren’t in EVERY episode, whent hey do happen their spectacular as Darkwing and Launchpad take on the fearsome four in one hell of a beautiful sequence. Darkwing and Launchpad plan to take the four on while Gosalyn gets to the ramrod. Gosalyn understandably questions how an actor and a launchpad are going to take on four villians with the two piping in that bushroot really isn’t na villian which .. I mean he KINDA is but the symapthetic kind that would probably give it up eventually but fair enough. I still like that nod even if this version is less adorakable traumatized plant and more...

Still Goslyn realises their power! THeir nerds! And with the power of fanboyness, and taking a few hits and refrencing the just us justice ducks episode I haven’t seen yet, their triumphant. Singed but triumphant. 

Meanwhile Gos continues to try and find her grampapapapapapapappapappaaaaaaaa while Bulba engages Darkwing and Launchpad. Jokes on him their already engaged to each other! She fails to find him but does find the ducks, who wonder what quackaroonie means and why their heads were round.

As the Ramrod rips a massive hole in time and space that threatens to suck everyone in. While Dewey encourages Gosalyn to keep going Huey tells her to stop... which.. Huey you lost your parent too, end of the world or not you can phrase it better. Otherwise top notch youv’e been the best this episode. And in one of the best scnees of the episode Gosalyn realizes what she has to do and despite Bulba tempting her with another relality she ddosen’t even consider it.. she shoots the ramrod with her crosbow, destroying it, with the final portal taking the fearsome four .. somewhere. I dunno? Cleavland..antis? I’m sure their fine. Bulba is knocked out though, and Gosalyn slowly weeps while her new dad consoles her. It’s a touching scene.

Thattt’s soon interupted with one last bit of unfished buisness as Huey suddenly realizes OH CRAP BRADFORD”S MISSING. They find him heading off in a marked FOWL helicopter, which Bradford points out the stupidity of but with Scrooge now having concrete visual evidence his head investor is running one of the oldest and deadliest spy agencies in the world, and their gunning for him decides to give a big of a gloat and tells Scrooge his adventure fantasy is ending while Scrooge remarks their world got a lot more dangerous. And yeah.. while I doubt Bradford will still brook over the top villiany, he now no longer has to hide his agents from scrooge or dance his operation around him and likely has enough embezlled funds to keep fowl going long enough to take out scrooge.  And yeah before we get to the end, thank god as while I love this review it’s been one of the longest writing experiments of my life., let’s talk about the FOWL overarching Plot and the interlocked missing mysteries subplot. The progress up till now has.. not really been great. Understandable but wheras season 2 had way too much plot this season took until thsi episode for the plot to really kick in. It’s been aggrivating and both fowl agents after you only crash twice .. really had nothing to do with them in their missions, with both only really using their resources. However.. as slow as it’s been, I will give credit in two places: 1, htis was likely done to get plots out of the way that were lighter and less tied into things, with only two exceptions in the next 6 episodes judging from the just released synposis for novemeber. And 2) the fowl episodes that WERE there set things up brillinatly. You Only Crash Twice set up heron’s lack of stealth and overt villianly, so her calling bradford a ton and bringing a marked helicopter did’t come out of nowhere, while last week’s episode hinted at the fact that FOWL somehow has acess to their own copy of finch’s diary or an equivleant. While we don’t know all the details. This episode also got the plot into overdrive by fleshing out bradford anymore, adding into his lack of liiking cartoon supervilliany by giving him a well and true hatred for scroooge and co. It’s not just the risk, he truly hates their lifestyle and LOATHES all of them and wants them gone.. and now he’s getting his chance. Overall it hasn’t been a bad plot and I get why it’s mostly in the back, but it still could’ve used some build up. But they worked well with what they had. I will also say the focus on Huey is ramping up with the last batch of episodes, so this really has turned out to be his season afterall. Good.  So we wrap our story back at Darkwing Tower as Gosalyn bemoans the fact her grandpa is gone. But Drake, for the first time this episode in his civies, softly encourages her to, much like him at her age, get back up again. She got blown up, buffeted around and lost a lot. but they WILL find him. Afterall Drake has a scientest friend who knwos another scientest, and until then.. she can be his crime fighting partner/implicit daughter. So Gosalyn, after so much rejection of it finally accepts her new family while Launchpad runs in to join them with dewey’s blessing. He’s not leaving the show ind, he’s just going to spend days in duckberg, nights in saint canard and sleep on the drive over, to Drake’s pitch perfect “What the actual shit bud” face. Gosalyn is happy, ,and Wanda has a crime for them to chase and our hapy family , back after way too long, heads off into the night to get dangerous. Wheew. 

Final Thoughts: God damn this was a long one. I mean it was an hour long but god damn I had a lot to say. But it was a good one. Minor flaws aside, a second watch showed off the pacing, great jokes, amazing emotoinal core, perfomances and plot progression. Unlike the Duck Knight returns the episode wisely ballances darkwing with the boys and scrooge, and interweaves them beautiful as well as finding a credible way for them to find out about FOWL. The game has changed.  I also saved the best for last as Stephanie Beatriz was fucking amazing as Gosalyn. While i’ve always loved her, she’s nice, bi and utterly fantastic on brooklyn nine nine why wouldn’t I?, and was excited I was both suprised by how diffrnet her gos voice is from her regular one, though shouldn’t have been as her rosa voice is also vastly diffrent.. seriously stephanie do more voice work your great at it, and Gos was rebooted well, sanding a bit of her hellion streak off while still feeling like the character and instead of just ignoring her grandpa’s death after one episode, making it inot a major part of her character arc here and likely in the future. It’s damn good stuff. The special really overall gets the spirit fo darkwing while making something, new , fresh and bold out of it and easily holds it’s own among the other specials. Nothing much else to say that hasn’t been said, this special was utterly amazing, go watch it. 

Now with that done if you like my weekly ducktales reviews, you can follow me for more, comment to tell me how i’m doing and i’m proud to announce.. follow me on my brand spanking new patreon! 2 dollar patrons get a poll once I have enough to do one of those, a discord once I get any, and 10 dollar backers get to pick a review for me a month! If you have the dough, please check it out and if not tha’ts okay. Until next time get dangerous but in the safest way possible, don’t forget to vote trump out and happy halloween! Play us out  Jeff Pescetto!

#ducktales #darkwing duck #let's get dangerous #gosalyn waddlemeyer #drake mallard #launchpad mcquack #dewey duck #huey duck #louie duck #scrooge mcduck #taurus bulba #megavolt #quackerjack #liquidator #bushroot #bradford buzzard #FOWL #Black Heron #Bonkers #a seamonster at my ice cream

[kalluun-patangaroa]

An Audience With… Brett Anderson

UNCUT Magazine

December 2010

Interview: John Lewis

Brett Anderson has some fans in odd places. This month, Uncut’s email boxes are positively heaving with questions from adoring fans in Peru, Serbia, Japan, New Zealand, Belgium, South Africa, Slovenia and Russia. “I’m quite popular in odd places,” he says. “Suede had No 1s in Chile and Finland. We were massive in Denmark. If asked why Denmark, my stock answer was that, well, I’m a depressed sex maniac and so are most Scandinavians. We toured China long before most Western pop groups. I remember playing Beijing, to a crowd divided by armed soldiers facing the audience. That was pretty scary.” Anderson is currently back in the Far East, speaking to Uncut as he overlooks Kowloon Harbour, preparing for solo dates. Later in the year he’ll be in London for a big O2 show with Suede (sans original guitarist Bernard Butler, although the two remain good friends). “I wanted to check out what the stage was like at the O2 Arena,” he says. “So I went to see The Moody Blues with my father-in-law. Come on, you can’t argue with ‘Nights In White Satin’. What a tune!”

I presume you’re aware of the ‘reallybanderson’ Twitter account purporting to be by you. Amused or offended? Helen, Birmingham

Twitter is one of those strange things, like Facebook, that I don’t have anything to do with. But I have to grudgingly admit that the reallybanderson Twitter updates are rather funny [starts giggling]. And the guy doing it is obviously a bit of a Suede fan, because there are some very detailed references to b-sides and bla-di-blah. I can’t exactly complain about it without coming across as a real tit. It’s just fun and no-one really thinks it’s me, it’s a cartoon version of me reflected through some fairground mirror. I don’t think anyone reads it and thinks, ‘Oh, Brett Anderson has Jas Mann from Babylon Zoo doing his washing up, or Brett punched Damon in the street.’ It is, ha ha ha, quite witty. Having shown them the picture inside the Best Of Suede CD, my kids would like to know why you refused to feed me for five years? Also – can my mum have her top back? And are you around for a trip to the Imperial War Museum? Bernard Butler

Yes, what most fans don’t realise is that we kept Bernard in a cage for five years, and fed him edamame beans and tap water. Regarding his mum’s top – he should know that it’s long been ripped up and destroyed by the front row of the Southampton Joiners, or somesuch venue. Now, the Imperial War Museum – me and Bernard were talking about getting older the other day and he said: “Are you finding yourself increasingly interested in British military history?” And I have become oddly fascinated with watching WWI docs on YouTube. It’s not just the personal tragedies, but the sense of it being a shocking transition point between the Victorian world and modernity. The idea that they were going into war on horseback, and by the end of it they were in tanks. Blimey. So tell Bernard I will be going to the museum, soon… What’s your favourite Duffy song? Kris Smith, Wembley

I thought “Rockferry” was a very beautiful, stirring track. So that’s the only one I know well, but I’m really pleased for Bernard that that was a big success [Butler co-wrote and produced much of the album]. He’s an incredibly talented person and works incredibly hard, and he’s one of those people who is just obsessed with music. People like that deserve success. Did I ask him to join the Suede show at the O2? No. I told him about it, but he’s moved on so far from Suede that it would have been odd, and we’ve had a completely different lineup since he left. I don’t think he’d want to be jumping around a stage again! He’s much happier doing what he does now, I think he’s really found his calling. Do you still have your cat, Fluffington? Claire Vanderhoven, Holland

Unfortunately, he’s ascended to cat heaven. He had 15 long years of adoration. Am I getting another cat? Well, I recently got married, and my wife brought two Italian greyhounds with her. I don’t know if anyone is aware of them, but Italian greyhounds are like little cats. Ours are eight years old but look like miniature foxes, bonsai greyhounds. But incredibly fast, like little bullets. When they’re not running they spend their whole life under the duvet. Someone once told me they were bred by the Pharaohs as bedwarmers! Brett, do you have a copy of the single I recorded with Suede: “Art” b/w “Be My God”? If so, could I have one? Mike Joyce

Mike, I think I destroyed my copy years ago. I’m not one to keep memorabilia. They’re about 100 quid on eBay. Mike was an early member of Suede. We were advertising for a drummer and listed The Smiths as an influence. Then at an audition, their drummer pokes his head through the door and says, “Hello, lads!” Ha! It was a bit Jim’ll Fix It. I don’t think anyone thought it was going to last, Mike was far too big a name for us. But he just took us under his wing, guided us through the industry, and was so charming. I still keep in contact with him. What’s the weirdest story you’ve heard about yourself? Badabingbadaboom

Someone once told me that they’d heard a story about me wanting to shit in someone’s mouth. But I also heard the same story about David Byrne, so I think it’s one of those urban myths that gets transferred from one slightly kooky pop star to another. That’s probably the most unsavoury thing I’ve heard about myself. Maybe I should give it a go. Which actors would you like to play the lead members of Suede in a biopic? James Kumar, Manchester

This is the kind of thing we talk about on tour. Matt Osman is convinced I should be played by Peter Egan, who was in Ever Decreasing Circles. I think Nic Cage should play Matt. Arsène Wenger reminds me of Bernard. That’s what Bernard will look like when he’s 60. Billy Idol could play Simon Gilbert, couldn’t he? Would you ever consider working in musical theatre? Neil Tennant

It’s funny he should ask that, because only the other day, I was listening to the album Neil and Chris did with Liza Minnelli in the late ’80s. Results, I think it’s called, with “Losing My Mind”. That sounded great, so emotive, and real. I’m a big fan of the Pet Shop Boys, they’re one of those amazing bands that almost created their own genre. But anyway, musical theatre. Yeah, I think I would. Sondheim? Rodgers and Hart? Definitely. I’m always open to new ideas. Musical theatre sounds like it’s going to have camp undertones, but I’d love to do it in an interesting way. What’s the worst song you’ve ever written? Mark Catley, Christchurch, NZ

That’s a good question. I wrote lots of terrible songs that were never recorded in the early days. But there’s a song called “Duchess” – a B-side to something from the Head Music era [actually to 1997 single “Filmstar”] – which is pretty rubbish. I’ve often regretted the production on certain songs, like “Trash” and “Animal Nitrate”, even though they’ve been pretty good songs. But you can’t go messing around with things like that. You start to interfere with what people originally liked about it. I also think people like your mistakes, as they give your work humanity. I quite like that about Prince. He seems to throw stuff out – some of it genius, some unlistenable – but all quite honest. I respect that. Do you enjoy art? Excited about Gauguin at the Tate? Katarina Janoskova, London

Absolutely. I’m a big fan of Gauguin and the post-impressionists. My favourite visual artist, if I had to narrow it down to one, would be Manet, the pre-impressionist. Not Monet, who doesn’t do it for me. But Manet had this revolutionary technique of painting on black, which gives his pictures a real depth, there’s something very sumptuous about his paintings. And further back, the kind of medieval-style stuff like Holbein and Brueghel – they’re so well observed and so real. You look at these pictures of people who lived 500, 600 years ago, you can imagine them walking down Tottenham Court Road now, the same face, they’re so real. It’s a little window into the past. I’ve quite got into art recently. It’s all part of expanding yourself and your education, appreciation of beauty in life, innit? Now that you’re no longer coming to work in Bow, how are you coping without the salad pitta? Leo Abrahams, musician and producer

Ha ha! I’ve been working on an album with Leo, in his studio, and I have an unhealthy obsession with East London’s kebab shops. You don’t get many good kebab shops in west London. It reminds me of being a student. I’m surprised Leo’s got the time to email you questions! He’s far too busy producing Eno or Grace Jones or Florence & The Machine. He also does these bizarre things where he plays entirely improvised gigs, no rehearsals. And that inspired the latest solo LP I’ve done with him. It was based on improvs. Me, Leo, Seb Rochford on drums, and Leopold Ross on bass just jammed for days, cut up them up and improvised, and did overdubs. It’s a full-on rock record. I love Leo, he’s great. He never takes the easy option. He pushes you a bit, which can be terrifying. Can you give us not-so-slim-in-2010 Suede fans some health tips? Simon Quinton, Oxford

My wife is a naturopath – she’s conscious of what she eats, so we eat a lot of sushi and seeds. I’ve got into cycling recently, particularly living in London, through the parks and the backstreets. It makes you fall back in love with the city. I cycled to Bow the other day from my house in Notting Hill. So that’s staving off the fortysomething belly. I’m sure I’ll get it when I’m fiftysomething. I’m looking forward to that. What do you think of Gorillaz? Ruiz, São Paulo, Brazil

To be honest, I don’t know much about them. I like the drawings. I guess that’s a veiled question about my relationship with Damon? Well, we don’t have a relationship to talk about. We all have things that happened years ago, rivalries and so on, and people assume that they’re still on your radar and part of your life. It’s like some musical soap opera, often one that’s been fabricated, without much substance. I have different issues in my life now. Is the art of songwriting dead? If it isn’t, who is flying the torch? Paloma Faith

Oh, it’s not dead at all. I’m constantly inspired by new music. If you look on YouTube, there’s a clip of me singing Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful”. When you’re covering stuff it’s interesting to try things that are out of your genre, which gives it a frisson. So I always try songs that aren’t, you know, British indie, stuff like Blondie, or The Pretenders. That Christina Aguilera song is amazing. I try not to look at songs as the finished product, I look at it as the chords and the melody and the words, like sheet music to be interpreted. You’ve got to keep moving with your musical appreciation. I loved the last Horrors record, I liked The National, The Drums, These New Puritans, lots of stuff. I never listen to the records I grew up with. Why bother? It’s all in my head! Brett, you’re from Haywards Heath. What’s the deal with the swimming pool there? It’s deep in the middle, not at one end. What’s your take on that? And were you ever caught out by it? P Newman, Brighton

I don’t know what they’re referring to at all, but funnily enough my dad used to work there as a swimming pool attendant. And I don’t really know how he got the job because he couldn’t swim. It’s lucky there weren’t any accidents. Every Tuesday, we had to troop down to the local pool, and everybody would be pointing at my dad saying, “Oh look there’s your dad, he’s working as a pool attendant.” And I was hoping none of them would start drowning, ’cos my dad wouldn’t be much use. Still, this was the early ’80s, and I guess we all thought the world was going to end any second with a nuclear bomb. Ha ha.

#suede #brett anderson #press #interview #bernard butler #mike joyce #neil tennant #leo abrahams

[lovemesomesurveys]

What shows are you into? There’s several. I don’t feel like listing them. What’s your claim to fame? Uhh. I have no idea what people would know me best from or for.  Are you usually early or late? Early. I hate being late. How often do you people watch? Depends where I’m at.  What do you hope never changes? My family dynamic. 

What’s your dream car? I don’t have one. What songs have you completely memorized? There’s several. What job would you be terrible at? Any job I feel like. What skill would you like to master? I don’t know. What are you absolutely determined to do? I haven’t felt determined to do anything in awhile. ;/ What would you rate 10 / 10? It Chapter 2. Where would you rather be from? I like being from California. What’s your favorite drink? Coffee. What quirks do you have? *shrug* How often do you play sports? I don’t at all. What website do you visit most often? Tumblr. What movie title best describes your life? I don’t knowwww. What age do you want to live to? Blah. What takes up too much of your time? Worrying/stressing. What do you wish you knew more about? Life. How different was your life one year ago? Mostly the same, with some additions.  What’s the best single day on the calendar? December 25th. What are some things you’ve had to unlearn? Hmm. What’s your favorite genre of book or movie? For books I like YA/NA, contemporary, mystery, psychological thriller. For movies I like comedies, romantic comedies, dramas, psychological thriller, horror, some action, some sci-fi.  What’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home? Atlanta, Georgia. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should? *shrug* Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? I’ve been to a few places I’d consider interesting. What fad or trend do you hope comes back? I’ve noticed a lot of 90s trends have and continue to come back, which is cool.  What’s the best way to start the day? Coffee. There’s no other way. What kind of art do you enjoy most? I like to color? What would your perfect room look like? Something cute and cozy. What fictional place would you most like to go? Derry, Maine. ha. What have you only recently formed an opinion about? Uhhh. What is the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen? Hard to say what the most heartwarming thing I’ve seen ever is, but recently my mom, brother, and I have been watching Serengeti, this wildlife documentary on Discovery (truly amazing, definitely would recommend!), and there’s this baboon, Bakari, who ends up taking in this baby baboon as his own after the mother was killed (who Bakari was in love with, but he and the leader had issues and he was kicked out the group, so they kinda snuck around together and he’d compete for her love) and it was just really sweet. He had no idea what he was doing as a single dad, but he just took the baby in and did what he had to do.  What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? Hm. I feel like I kinda am old fashioned with some things, but of course I’m failing to think of an example at the moment. Would you rather go hang gliding or whitewater rafting? Neither. Both sound terrifying.  Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? My younger brother. He’s 20 and already accomplished so much more than I have.  How do you relax after a hard day of work? I don’t work. All my days are spent mostly in bed doing the same few things. But don’t confuse that for relaxing. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? Hm. I can’t think of something I refuse to watch. Of course there’s stuff that just doesn’t interest me or that I think looks absolutely ridiculous, but I’m not outright refusing it. Where would you spend all your time if you could? At the beach. What would be your ideal way to spend the weekend? Relaxing at the beach. I actually wish I owned a beach home and could at least relax near the beach on my private balcony. What’s the best way a person can spend their time? Doing something they enjoy. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on? A Safari adventure. What pets did you have while you were growing up? Dogs and fish. What job do you think you’d be really good at? I don’t know. What’s the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen? Uhhh. Where is the most relaxing place you’ve ever been? The beach. What are you most likely to become famous for? Nothing. I don’t want to be famous either. What’s worth spending more on to get the best? I think stuff like computers, phones, cars... What age do you wish you could permanently be? I’d like to just stop aging now. What is special about the place you grew up? My family is here. Otherwise, I don’t like this city at all. What do you consider to be your best find? Hmm. When was the last time you climbed a tree? Never. What city would you most like to live in? I don’t know, but not this one. What is the luckiest thing that has happened to you? I don’t believe in luck. What’s the best thing that happened to you last week? I saw It Chapter 2 this past Friday. What’s your favorite piece of clothing you own / owned? All of them, which I have and keep them. I need to get rid of some, though. :( What is the most annoying question that people ask you? My previous pain specialist doctor always asked me about why I wasn’t working, what my plans were, and other stuff that just made me feel like crap and I hated it because I’m like, uh... you’re my doctor, you know what I’m dealing with and all my medical history. You should be more understanding. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do? Nothing. What was the best book or series that you’ve ever read? There’s been many. What is the most annoying habit that other people have? I hate when people feel the need to comment something negative on a post or YouTube video or something. Like they just feel compelled to leave something mean and nasty and I’m just like why? What are you looking forward to in the coming months? Cooler weather! What are some small things that make your day better? Coffee and silly, cute moments with my doggo. What one thing do you really want but can’t afford? A beach home, ha. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? I’d say ASMR, but it’s becoming more well known now.  Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now? I’m not working. What state or country do you never want to go back to? I haven’t been anywhere that I wouldn’t want to go back to. What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years? Blah. What game or movie universe would you most like to live in? Hmmm. If you suddenly became a master at woodworking, what would you make? I had a wood shop elective in like 6th grade and I made a dollhouse. Cool story, I know. What amazing thing did you do that no one was around to see? Nothing comes to mind. What hobby would you get into if time and money weren’t an issue? Travel. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time? I’m glad for the time I sleep. I like sleep. Some days drag on long enough. When people come to you for help, what do they usually want help with? People don’t really come to me anymore for help. Where do you usually go when you when you have time off? All my time is time off and I spend majority of it at home. What question would you most like to know the answer to? I don’t know. Like, “will I ever get better” comes to mind, but I’m terrified of the answer so it’s best I don’t know. Unless the answer was yes, ha. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives? Travel. What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to? I don’t know. What gets you fired up? People who abuse other people, especially children, and animals. What risks are worth taking? If it’s something that could have a positive, beneficial outcome for you or if it’s something you love. What do you take for granted? I don’t mean to, but I probably take my family for granted sometimes.  What do you have doubts about? My health and my life. What fact are you resigned to? Uhh. What book impacted you the most? The Bible.

What’s the best thing about you? Blahhhhh. What are you addicted to? Caffeine. When do you feel truly “alive”? When I’m at the beach is the only time I feel that way and actually feel relaxed. Who inspires you to be better? Sigh. What makes a good life? For me, personally, it would be having good health (mentally and physically). I think a lot of other things would follow if I had that. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have? I. Don’t. Know. What irrational fear do you have? Killer whales is one of them. Have you ever saved someone’s life? I don’t think so. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve learned? A few of the things I’m dealing with could have been prevented, but I was stupid and stubborn and neglectful. What’s something you are self-conscious about? Everything. What is one of your favorite smells? The ocean air is one of many. What do you like most about your family? I have an amazing, loving, supportive, encouraging, caring, and funny af family. They’re the best. What is the “holy grail” of your life? I want better health. Have you ever given to any charities? Yes. What’s the last adventure you went on? The gondola ride that took us up 9,000 ft was pretty adventurous for me. I did that on my birthday. What are three interesting facts about you? If any of you have been reading my surveys long enough you know enough about me by now and know I’m not very interesting. What was the best compliment you’ve received? Hm. What chance encounter changed your life forever? Ty always comes to mind with questions like this. What do you want your epitaph to be? I’ll be cremated, so. What do you want to be remembered for? I guess it doesn’t matter. What is something you will NEVER do again? Probably drink alcohol. I mean, it’s impossible, but as of now I have no desire at all. What are you most likely very wrong about? I don’t know. What stereotype do you completely live up to? People who don’t understand mental health and chronic issues I’m sure think I’m just lazy. What dumb accomplishment are you most proud of? I got an awesome collection of giraffe stuffed animals. ha. Not dumb to me, but I’m sure people think for a 30 year old it’s lame but I don’t care.  What was the most memorable gift you’ve received? Many throughout my life. What is the biggest lesson you never learned? Uh. What’s the most immature thing that you do? I’m a big baby. Who is / was your most interesting friend? Ty was. What do people think is weird about you? A lot of things, I’m sure. What chapters would you separate your autobiography into? I have no idea. My life is boring. What do you hope your last words will be? Not something I’ve thought about. What do you spend the most time thinking about? My health and my life in general. What is something you can never seem to finish? All my food most of the time. Except for sandwiches. What mistake do you keep making again and again? Health related things. What’s the best thing you got from your parents? They’ve given me a lot of things throughout my life. What is the strangest thing you have come across? I don’t know. What would a mirror opposite of yourself be like? There’d be a happy, confident, outgoing, healthy person. What’s the best and worst thing about getting older? Getting old sucks, man. What would be the scariest monster you could imagine? The depression monster. What is something you are certain you’ll never experience? Good health, a love life, real happiness... What challenging thing are you working through these days? Health stuff like I’ve mentioned several times. What’s one responsibility you really wish you didn’t have? Bills. What do you wish your brain was better at doing? Producing serotonin.  If your childhood had a smell, what would it be? The smell of Playdoh always reminds me of childhood. I was obsessed with Barbies, but that doesn’t have a smell. Perhaps maybe crayons and sunshine as well. Big shocker: I actually spent a lot of time playing outside as a kid.  In your group of friends, what role do you play? I don’t have a group of friends. Which of your scars has the best story behind it? Majority are surgery related, but there’s a few others from different things. What have you created that you are most proud of? I make pretty bowls of Ramen. ha. What were some of the turning points in your life? There have been a lot.

“Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road...” What bends your mind every time you think about it? There’s a lot of fascinating things. What is something that your friends would consider “so you”? People associate me with giraffes, coffee, the beach, fall, and Alexander Skarsgard. What’s something horrible that everyone should try at least once? Uh, I don’t know? If you had a personal flag, what would be on it? Nah. As the only human left on Earth, what would you do? Go insane. What stat for your life would you most like to see? None. What did you think you would grow out of but haven’t? Hmm. What are three of the most significant numbers in your life? I’ve always liked the number 8. What’s the best and worst piece of advice you’ve ever received? Blah. What song or artist do you like but rarely admit to liking? I’m not ashamed of any of the music I like. What annoys you most about the in-groups you are a part of? I’m not apart of any groups. What small gesture from a stranger made a big impact on you? I have no idea. I don’t interact much with strangers. What are some of your personal “rules” that you never break? I drink coffee everyday. That’s very important, ha. If your life was a book, what would its title be? I have one, but it’s a play on words of my last name and I don’t want to share that. Among your friends or family, what are you famous for? I’m not famous for anything. What’s the title of the current chapter of your life? Perhaps trials and tribulations. What do you strongly suspect but have no proof of? Uhhh. What do you regret not doing or starting when you were younger? I just wish I took better care of myself and didn’t neglect some things. I wish I took some things more seriously and others less seriously. As you get older, what are you becoming more and more afraid of? Losing my parents and never getting better/getting worse. In what situation or place would you feel the most out of place in? I feel out of place in life. What personality trait do you value most and which do you dislike the most? About myself or others? For myself, I will say I like my sense of humor and that I’m a child at heart. Wow, I found something positive to say about myself. As for dislike, that’s much a longer list. What would you do if you knew you were going to die in one hour? I would spend it with family, but also being incredibly sad and scared. What are some of the events in your life that made you who you are? Everything? If life is a game, like some people say, what are some of the rules? It. Goes. On. Time doesn’t stop for anyone. It doesn’t play by your rules. There are two types of people in this world. What are the two types? Is there, though? What lifestyle change have you been meaning to make for a while now? I need to take steps towards improving some things about myself and working on things, but I haven’t.  What question can you ask to find out the most about a person? About their interests.

What can you not get right, no matter how many times you try? This thing called life. When people look at you, what do you think they see / think? Yikes. If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? I’ve had my name for 30 years, I think I’ll keep it. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve done that actually turned out pretty well? I can’t think of anything.

#long one #personal #text #survey #surveys

[kaijuzilla]

MOD REVIEW: Godzilla King of the Monsters (2019)

*This contain spoilers so if you want to avoid it then please do no continue reading this post.*

“Which of these Titans are here to threaten us, and which of these Titans are here to protect us...”

Where can I start.... The moment when I saw the trailer in college in spring time 2019, I was excited and hype for this film. And when me and my friend went to see it and got out:

THIS MOVIE IS AMAZING!!!

I really don’t get it whats with critics on this movie but as a fan and going all honest this movie is a good Godzilla movie! The director or the person behind this movie Mike Dougherty, took all the problems from the 2014 film, fixing it, added some awesome stuff, and this movie was born! Along with that we got Mothra who looks more insect appearance but still majestic beauty, Ghidorah who is freaking terrifying and making this the scariest and coolest Ghidorah, and Rodan who is on fire and is hot! Also he gives me a starscream vibe as well which everyone said same thing.

The plot tells that things are happening and citizens are blaming the Godzilla and Monarch for this disasters which they go on a riot to say that all of the monsters must be destroy. But Monarch refuses and wanted theses creatures to live because “they deserve the right to live” since they live here before us. Basically which one is here to live with us in harmony and which one is here to kill us. The people still think they should kill them but Serizawa still believes theses creatures are good on the inside and not monsters and wanted humans and monsters in a symbiotic relationship. Suddenly one of the scientist broke the Monarch code by releasing Ghidorah and is up to Monarch and Godzilla to stop the Monsters from creating disaster.

I also think the humans are actually alright in this movie than the 2014. But the 2014 film has one great actor who delivers it well but die later which kind of lost the character knowing them well because he’s like the most recognizable character and so does Serizawa. But this movie we learn about (some) of the characters more! Yes there are alot of characters in this movie and I think they’re all alright. 

There’s also this Eco-terrorist group who wanted to free all these monsters from their cages and take their DNA for black market like those people from Pacific Rim. Also their goal got to success t release them all when Ghidorah calls all of them when crowned himself king. TBH do they even think that when these monsters are destroying every humanity they are gonna be kill too? Like really Ghidorah is the one that causes the planet Venus lifeless and you’re it’s next target.

One thing that got me like shock is that Serizawa assistants just die early int he film which just shock me alot. I kind of wanted to know about her character and why and how she became Serizawa assistant.

I’m also glad Mark Russell who is played by Kyle Chandler, who is a zoologist gets a character development in the film because from the beginning he hated Godzilla because he lost his son in the disaster of 2014 if San Francisco from the MUTOs (I’m not only one who notice those red military light guys falling from the sky from the beginning of the movie right?). Which close to end of the movie he learned that Godzilla is good and began to accept him. (Also makes me learn how alpha or hunting packs work)

Dr Emma Russel who played by Vera Farmiga, where her character is she is good (1) but she thinks she’s doing a good  which made her the villian (2) thing but turns out bad so go back to being good (3). (1) she made this ORCA where it help control the titan by doing an alpha frequency thing which works on Mothra and Rodan and Ghidorah, (2) when she was caught by the Eco terrorist and see that releasing titans and radioactivity in San Francisco making plant life grow back which see human are infection decided to release and try release all titans to help restore balance to humanity and think this is what her son wanted (Ghidorah was second), (3) Ghidorah turns out to release all titans and controlling them all to destroy everything and learn that this isn’t good and Madison (her daughter) straight her out that this isn’t what will bring harmony or give what her dead son want to the world.

Did I mention there’s a prequel of this movie before it was released and it’s a comic? This is a same thing like Godzilla Awakening which we learn that Godzilla is an ancient apex predator that loves for many years that went to the center of the earth for radiation because the radiation on the surface of Earth is low. BUT THIS MOVIE TELLS US THERE ARE 17 TITANS/KAIJUS AROUND THE WORLD!!! They also involved in histories like mythology creatures  (because they’re named after them or some) where it’s goes to saying that people sees them as gods. And this is reveled when Godzilla is laying to rest in this underwater city which is probably Atlantis? Where it show that people back then sees them as gods which is really cool and i want to know more about this. TBH if this happens in real life this could possibly happen in the past if these monsters exist.

One thing it’s very strange we see a bigger hunch spiky back Femuto again. It’s because we thought those babies and the two MUTOS are last of their kind from the 2014 film, and the Prime was killed in the comics as well. And this one isn’t pregnant which also bow down to Godzilla too. But I will say out of all Kaiju the Behemoth is the strange but one of my favorite kaiju design. Maybe because it’s a mammal and it’s so rare to see a mammal kaiju since it’s mostly Insects, Aliens, Amphibians, Birds, Fish, and Reptiles. We do see some on screen but in the novel tells us what the other titans are doing around the world. Surprising fact the Leviathan outpost in in Loch Ness meaning that Nessie is a kaiju or something!?

One thing that make the monsters amazing by their designs but also their facial expression which gives them more life and not Disney Lion King live action movie lifeless expression. We understand their emotion by their facial expression and not their voice.

We see Godzilla just showing intimidation to people and King Ghidorah who they both showing high level of intimidation! Also Ghidorah head that represent their personality are good and there’s reason why Kevin is the dumb one. Because the heart is on the right side of the body the right and middle get more blood to their brains while the left side aka Kevin get less blood in his brain (My friend explain this after the movie). And when Rodan got stab by Mothra stinger (which my friend also explain that Moths do have stingers IRL but never uses them because they don’t harm any creature and are like butterflies and bee hybrid like insects) he was showing that “anime pain gasp shock eye facial expression” because DAM right into the shoulder!!! Which then when he tries to challenge Godzilla for the throne he was like “aw hell sorry my king please forgive me I Starscream knee before you Megaton!!!”

Before I close to finish it off I want to say again Ghidorah in this film is the most scariest and terrifying monster of all time! The moment he survive the oxygen destroyer was so suprise he survive and Godzilla has a heart attack. The moment when Kevin head grows back after ripped off was just horrifying and just HOLY SHIT moment. Even seeing him as he crown himself the king now as he roar so lod showing the church is like we’re seeing the Devil begin the end life on Earth! Even when his history was meant to be erase and forgotten in the past is a surprising. Just glad they stick to alien and not bio genetic creature from the future that makes him look like a vampire furby baby face (I will admit the Dorats look cute).

Also one question....how dafug did the government military manage to make the Oxygen Destroyer. Yes it’s a prototype but if this is a prototype does this mean the perfect Oxygen Destroyer become Destroyah later on. Also you think the monster causes problem, that bomb kill alot of fish population right there! But during the film Serizawa sacrifice himself to save Godzilla by bringing the atomic nuclear bomb to blow up to help recharge his nuclear energy aka giving him some juice to make him stronger. 

What make this movie fun is jsut there’s so many easter eggs in this movie! I spotted some but i bet there’s more somewhere that youtube explained see: Roidan is making nest at MT Fuji (Rodan movie), Twins and Infant Island (Mothra), Kong is poted and mention alot in the film which also leading to Kong vs Godzilla, Monster Zero, (again) The Leviathan is Nessie from Loch Ness, Mecha Kevin, 2014 sky falling scene, Mothra wing represent Godzilla eyes, Mothra egg after she die but chances maybe minilla or junior, A mysterious skeleton at Godzilla lair. That’s all i got so far. but idk if the sphinx would count because that is actually like a cancel 1998 Godzilla aka Zilla movie sequel.

What also surprising is that Godzilla and Mothra are actually a thing together! And tbh for the longest time I ship theses two (haven’t ship for a long LONG time)! it explain it’s a “symbiotic” relationship but still it’s cute.

Ok now the probably the best part of the movie is the monster fight scene. It’ss just so amazing what theses things can actually do on screens. Just when Godzilla and Ghidorah fight the third time they just charged to each other causing this huge shockwave boom that shook the sky! Rodan just peck the HELL out at Ghidorah when they first met! Mothra (again) Stab Rodan giving him the worst pain of his life on his shoulder! Kevin head ripped off! (Kevin nooooo), and the final part of the movie. Mothra Die from Ghidorah when protecting her Lamp Husband!

But the part when Godzilla when thermal nuclear aka BURNING GODZILLA!!! HE FUCKING BURNS THE WINGS ON GHIDORAHS WINGS LEAVING NOTHING BUT IT’S FINGERS THINGS!!! GHIDORAH TRY TO FIGHT BACK BUT IT’S NOT WORKING AND GODZILLA PULSES AGAIN DISINTEGRATE KEVIN AND RIGHT HEAD LEAVING THE ALPHA HEAD ALONE AND JUST CRUSH IT’S CHEST OPEN KILLING IT AND  CREATE HUGE A EXPLOSION!!!!!!

Ok we’re at the ending a- OMG HE SURVIVED!? NOPE!!! GODZILLA RIP THE HEAD OFF AND SMACKING IT DOWN AS IT STILL ALIVE WHICH HE IS EATING THE NECK! TO FINISH IT OFF IT CHARGES IT’S ATOMIC BREATH AND SHOOT THE HEAD TO THE SKY!!!!

THIS IS WHY GODZILLA IS THE TRUE KING OF THE MONSTERS!

He fought something that could out class him and dominates it, No matter how must of a pain he’s in he still stands tall, he continues fighting and not retreat and rematch again (Gamera)!

That is the coolest death kill ever and turns out the spark from the mouth was actually a burp which is funny. Don’t believe me? go to Mike Dougherty twitter he tells everything about the movie.

Now the one part that makes me want to react with the other titans too which i feel like all Godzilla fans did too in the theaters because i got the same feeling to just wanting to bow down to Godzilla for some reason? Just when Madison (Mark and Emma daughter who is Millie Brown from Stranger Thing as Eleven) uses the ORCA to bring all titans to Boston. They all arrive seeing their king to be dead by Godzilla which looks liek they’re all about to challenge him, even Rodan look piss off for he want to fight for his fallen king death. He tells them to back the fuck down which Rodan being the Starscream dude he is bows down before his true king and so does (mostly) everyone, even the Femuto who is the natural enemies to his species bows before him! This turned all the titans good and help bring amazing impact around the world: Amazon Rainforests that was wiped out are growing back, endanger animals are off the endanger list, stabilized world sea levels from Antarctica, fish population rises too, etc...

Then there is the after credit where the leader of the Eco terrorist finds Kevin and is going to take his head. And also show many hits saying seismic activity at Skull Island and show cave painting of Kong and Godzilla fighting each other!

This is what “which titans is here to threaten us, and which titans are here to protect us.” from the beginning. There are two kings and one of the is a false king who call himself king and wants to bring destruction to everything it sees. Godzilla job as an apex predator is to bring balance to nature and humanity as a True King to the throne. If any one of them go out of Godzilla rules then they will be slap to their head.

So then that is King of the Monsters and it still a great film! I still can’t believe critics say “too much monster fight scene” and blah blah blah they don’t know what a Godzilla film actually is tbh! This movie did amazing and even thought there’s some problems it still make a good movie. I will give it an:

8 or 7 out of 10

If you want to watch this I would recommend watching old godzilla films which also count kong, mothra, and rodan before you see this film but for a quickie i would recommend Godzilla Awakening, Godzilla (2014), Skull Island: Birth of Kong, Kong Skull Island, and Godzilla Aftershock to get to know the movie and the Monsterverse. There’s also the novel too which holds more information that didn’t get on screen and it’s low price and it’s good. I really wanted to get off my chest and it just so good! i think next review I might do Endgame maybe?

#Godzilla King of the Monsters #Godzilla #kaiju #mod #mod review

[timeisacephalopod]

Bug

Just a lil Tony/Rhodey thing based around my completely evidenceless headcanon that Rhodey is terrified of bugs :) Bonus points for a dash of superfamily (without the super).

Tony drags his ass home from a long meeting only to have Rhodey immediately run behind him and grab his hips, forcing Tony in front of him. “Do you husband duties and kill the bug!” he yells. 

Sam appears from around the corner with his cell phone out obviously filming. “Rhodey, you’re fine I’m sure the bug isn’t that big,” he says, familiar with how this game goes.

“That thing is the size of me and Miles abandoned me with it! We need a new son!” he yells.

He lets out a long sigh as Sam starts laughing, presumably again. “Rhodey we’re not disowning our kid because you don’t like that he tried to make you kill your own bug. We’ve talked about this- you’re a grown man, and you’ve fought in actual wars. Bugs are not scarier than people with guns and bombs,” he says calmly.

Rhodey looks at him like he’s nuts. “You wanna know what happens when you shoot people? They go down, same if you blow ‘em up. Wanna know what happens if you smack a bug off the ceiling? Fucking nothing because those little bastards don’t even take fall damage and they’re faster than me. Get the bug! This suburban shit is not for me, Tony, we are moving back to the city there were no bugs in your penthouse.”

Sam has doubled over, taking the phone with him and he’s laughing so hard he’s silent. “Rhodey, there are bugs everywhere- you have to deal with this.”

“I will file for divorce if you do not march your beautiful mayonnaise ass into that kitchen to kill that bug right now, Tony.”

He’s serious too, this has also happened before and Tony doesn’t want to explain to a divorce lawyer why ‘he didn’t kill the bug’ is the reason for a divorce. “This is why Miles abandoned you,” he mumbles.

“Well that’s fine, I abandoned him too, he’s cancelled. I have no time for ungrateful children who do not realize that they need to repay my love and support with bug killing duties,” Rhodey says. “Go get the bug.” He prods Tony forward a little and he lets out another sigh.

“Baby, what makes you think the bug is still where you left it?”

Rhodey freezes in terror for a moment before frantically looking around. “Why you say something like that you know how I feel about bugs!”

Sam continues wheezing away but he’s repointed the camera at him and Rhodey. Tony rubs his temples. “Honey, you need therapy to deal with bugs we can’t keep killing them for you. Hey, wait a second why the fucking haven’t you killed the bug?” he asks Sam.

“And miss this comedy? Hell no, this is way too funny to watch,” he says.

Rhodey gives him an offended look and turns to Tony, “you see what kind of rude ass friends you keep? That’s disrespectful!”

“Baby. Sam is your friend,” Tony reminds him. Its not like he’s the one who found Sam through the military that’s Rhodey’s deal.

“He sure shit isn’t now,” Rhodey mumbles. “Now kill. That. Bug.”

Sure, he could argue but what’s the point of that? So he goes into the kitchen and Rhodey leaves him at the doorway, apparently no longer willing to risk the bug while Sam follows him inside. “Its on the counter,” Rhodey tells him, half hiding behind the kitchen doorway.

“I don’t need you to be a back seat bug killer, honey. This is not the first bug I’ve killed for you,” he points out.

“Well you have a thirty nine percent fail rate and the bug reappearance rate is eleven percent so you need to kill that shit!” Rhodey tells him.

Sam lets out another loud wheeze, “he did the fucking math!”

“Damn right I did, I need to know who is the most efficient bug killer in this household. Miles has a seventy percent fail rate, that kid can’t kill bugs for shit. We should have another one- maybe that one will know how to kill bugs. Or could get a cat, they kill bugs, right?”

For a moment Tony allows himself to imagine a life where Rhodey is not a crazy person who does the actual math on who has the best bug killing success. Things are blissful, Miles does not have to abandon his father, a grown ass man, to kill his own bugs and Tony does not have to come home to a whole ass husband screaming about bugs. But then that wouldn’t be Rhodey and as much as this fear is ridiculous he does love his husband very much.

“Honey, you’re allergic to cats so we’re not getting a cat and we aren’t having another kid because Miles isn’t good at killing bugs. Now take a breath because I am going to kill this bug,” he tells Rhodey.

Rhodey lets out a small little gasp and hides behind the doorway further and honest to god the spider isn’t even that big and mostly seems to be minding its own business even if its on the counter. Tony looks around but Miles must have run off with the room’s Designated Fly Swatter so he grabs a plate and smashes it over the spider. Rhodey lets out a loud yelp, “why would you smash it with a plate, Tony!”

“There was no fly swatter,” he says as Sam starts wheezing again.

Rhodey looks at him like he’s nuts. “That’s not a logical solution, baby.” He’s looking at the counter with more concern than Tony thinks is strictly necessary and Sam is trying his best to point the camera while laughing. “That spider is dead, right?” Rhodey asks.

Tony looks over to the spider amongst the plate chunks. “Yeah, honey, its dead.”

Rhodey lets out a loud sigh of relief and leans into the doorway. “Oh my god, that was stressful I thought I was going to die today, damn. Get that plate out of here, I want nothing to do with that. And get rid of that counter too, that thing is deleted, send it to Guatemala I don’t give a shit just get it out of the country. We are moving from the suburbs, I don’t care if we have to send Miles to a different school I cannot handle these suburban bugs. White people are brave, a little too brave, you guys got cocky after colonization.”

Tony lets out a long sigh, “Rhodey, no one is going to eat off a broken plate. We already had to throw it out and the counter stays.”

Rhodey gives him a look, “are you suggesting that we’d keep that plate if it didn’t break? What is wrong with you! And we’re not keeping that counter either, I know what happened on it- I can’t eat from that anymore.” He gives the counter a distressed look and Tony sighs.

“You wouldn’t even know the difference.” He knows this because this is not the first time he’s used an unconventional weapon to kill bugs and Rhodey never notices after he forgets a bug was killed with it. Or if Tony fake buys a new umbrella so Rhodey won’t keep getting soaked in the rain because he killed a bug with the last umbrella. Not that he’ll fill Rhodey in on that detail because if he did then Rhodey would probably buy all new everything in an attempt to avoid bug taint.

“Would so- I’d be able to feel its evil energies,” he says and Tony lets out a long sigh.

“What does that even mean?”

“It means bugs give off evil energies and I can sense it,” Rhodey says, way too serious about such a stupid statement. Sam lets out another round of laughter at that.

*

Miles looks unimpressed, which isn’t unusual for a fourteen year old boy, but when he walks over with purpose Tony suspects something’s up. “Dad, why are a meme?” he asks Rhodey. Rhodey looks up from the tablet he’s reading the news from- also something Tony has killed a bug with not that Rhodey knows that’s the same tablet- and frowns.

“What?”

Miles holds out his phone and sure enough there’s a picture of Rhodey’s face when he’d told Tony that killing bugs with plates isn’t a logical solution. The caption on it is ‘when something isn’t a logical solution’ and Tony largely suspects its being used as a reaction image. “Huh, I didn’t think people would find that as funny as Sam,” he says. He’d posted the video to YouTube and said people thought it was hilarious but frankly Sam is as prone to exaggeration as Rhodey. He’s married to Bucky and he still complains that he’s the worst human to exist ever in the history of humanity. To be fair Bucky seems to share that sentiment.

“People love this video. Also you’re a meme too,” he tells Tony, taking his phone back for a moment and extending it again. Tony looks exceptionally done in the picture, clearly exhausted with Rhodey’s freaking out over bugs and people seem to find it funny.

“Why is your face looking like that? I was in danger and you’re out there looking like I was inconveniencing you? What kind of husband are you?” Rhodey asks, offended.

“Yeah, I think the reason people find this so funny is because you aren’t the typical Mulder vs Scully kind of opposites. Like the straight shooting guy smashed a bug with a plate and like... even the people watching this for the first time know that’s not the first time you’ve done something like that. So now you guys are weird vs weirder,” Miles says and Tony is genuinely impressed and also confused by the amount of time Miles has spent analyzing this. But then he’s spent a strange amount of time directing every piece of every Star Wars movie too. They came out when Tony was a kid but shit he has nothing on Miles’ love for the Star Wars universe.

“I don’t care why I’m a meme, how do I stop that?” Rhodey asks.

Of all the years of dealing with Tony’s fame he seriously asks that? “Memes go by fast, relax,” he tells Rhodey.

“If you don’t want to be a meme get therapy for the bugs. You got one measly ass bug in your ear as a kid and now you’re trying to convince us all to send the counter to Guatemala,” Mile says, shaking his head.

Rhodey gives him an offended look. “Excuse you, that was a traumatic event!”

“We know that, we’re living with the fallout and I do not have a seventy percent fail rate!”

“You do so, and those bugs have a seventeen percent reappearance rate. And you know what, this is all your fault,” he tells Tony and he frowns.

“What? How the hell is this my fault?” he asks.

“If you had’ve listened to me when I told you about the bug in my ear none of this would have happened!”

Oh yeah it would have but Tony isn’t going to argue about that. “Rhodey you didn’t tell me anything about the bug, you were screaming about helicopters in your ear.”

“That was me telling you about the bug! It was so loud in there flapping around!” He shudders and makes a face.

“Helicopters don’t fit in ears, Rhodey! How the hell was I supposed to know?”

He rolls his eyes, “oh what the hell else could it have been?” he asks.

Tony rolls his eyes, “I don’t know, I thought you dropped acid or something.”

Rhodey squints at him. “We were eleven, Tony. What kind of eleven year old drops acid?”

Miles lets out an annoyed noise, “who cares about the circumstances of the bug. You have been in war zones but its a bug that did you in? That’s not logical, dad. Get therapy so you can kill your own bugs.”

Rhodey stands, “I will sooner die in hell fire than kill my own bugs.”

Tony sighs and resolves to tell JARVIS to post this to YouTube too and Miles can deal with being the next ‘that’s not logical’ meme.

#tony x rhodey #ironhusbands #fanfiction #alternate universe #crack fic

[westboast]

San Clemente

Whenever I’m home for Christmas, I go to church with my grandmother on Christmas Eve. She has always gone. It’s our family church, Saint Mark’s Episcopal Church, in Perryville, Maryland. A little town. It’s a white church plastered in stucco, surrounded by deciduous trees which go gray and leafless by December. My grandmother and I walk through the graveyard to see her brother’s grave. He died three years ago. Etched on the tombstone is the image of him and my aunt in a boat. I walk a few paces to the left and find myself on an empty rectangle of grass. Each corner is adorned with a little granite block. Etched on each of the blocks is the name AMATO. The Amato plot. I realize that if I suddenly die, this is where my body will go. I feel terrified and look to my grandmother, who recognizes my fear and waves for us to leave this place and enter the church.

On Christmas Eve in 1992, my cousin Mark, then twenty-eight, died as a result of AIDS. I was six months old at the time. My mother was nineteen years old. My grandmother and aunt went to church anyway that night. During the service, right after the Eucharist, the lights were dimmed, as they still are. Everyone turned on an electric candle, as they still do, and together they sang “Silent Night.”

The women in my family—my dad’s side—are not sentimental like the men are. My mother is sentimental, but she is from the Virginian, Lutheran side. Southerners are sappy, like molasses. The northerners are Anglican and tight-lipped. As far as my dad’s side goes, I have never seen my grandmother or aunt get emotional except during “Silent Night” on Christmas Eve at Saint Mark’s. Even then, tears form in their eyes, but they do not cry.

I think about Mark a lot, even though I was an infant when he died. He played tennis. I played tennis. He’s gay. I’m gay. He was the eldest cousin. I am the eldest cousin. He read alone on the beach while the boy cousins played in the water. Then he would return to the house to watch soap operas.

I have inherited my aunt’s and grandmother’s grief for him. This year, when “Silent Night” began and the lights dimmed, my aunt and grandmother looked dead ahead. I saw their lips moving to the lyrics. I gripped the pew in front of me and gasped. The only light in the room came from the little battery-powered candles. I forced myself not to cry, because I never even knew him and I thought it would be selfish to cry in front of the women who did. I was amazed that they were able to sing through their grief, because I could only get out every other word. I knew the words but I was choking on them in the dark. By candlelight I could see my aunt’s and grandmother’s tears and I forced out the words as best as I could, out of duty.

The next night, Christmas, at my aunt’s house, I felt a wave of jet-lag and asked if I could lie down somewhere. My aunt said yes.

“You can go rest in Mark’s room,” she says.

I walk up the hardwood stairs to his room. It is much the way it was when he died, I guess. The bed is made. His tennis rackets are there, and a Les Miserables poster. I lie on his bed and fall asleep clutching his pillow. I never knew him but I wish he was here. In my family I am walking along his path, but there is no one to lead me. I want him to lead me.

I wake up because my college-aged cousin is yelling downstairs. She has a booming voice, a commanding voice. She studies history at a college in southern Maryland. I have a feeling she’ll run for office one day.

“White privilege is a real, proven, indisputable fact!” she is shouting. “Where is David? He’ll back me up!”

At this point I am face down in Mark’s pillow, crying. This is where he slept. What? White privilege. Right. I remember being in college and having these kinds of arguments with family members. Back then I was more righteous. I was listening to my cousin and she was being mostly convincing. I didn’t want to bail her out because I thought she needed to struggle a bit. That’s part of it. Trying to argue the existence or relevance of white privilege in a place like Cecil County, Maryland, is very admirable. It’s like throwing a Tupperware party, except it’s not Tupperware but a loaded polio vaccine and the audience is Jenny McCarthy.

I come down the stairs and find my cousin, Caesar-like, commanding her Senate.

“Back me up, David!”

“One sec,” I say, giving her the thumbs up and exiting quickly. She has it under control. Mostly. She is impassioned, but she hasn’t realized that the trick is to let the other person yell themselves exhausted. At that point you swoop in with a reasoned argument once they’ve run out of steam. They’re too tired to fight back. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is quite good at this. Tammy Duckworth nailed it in her Senate campaign too, when her opponent made a racist comment about her family during a debate and she just took a drink of water as a response. Now she’s a senator and that guy isn’t.

Nice.

I make eye contact with my grandmother, wearing a tolerant half-smile that I’ve also inherited. I’m just here, it says. She is sprawled on the couch, listening. Sort of. She may or may not have her hearing aid turned on. I wonder if Mark was very political. He was probably too sick.

My aunt, in the kitchen, is wearing the same smile as my grandmother.

“Is there more mac ‘n’ cheese?” I say, bending over the counter.

“Yeah, Dave, help yourself.”

The only people who call me Dave are my family members and my best friend in Baltimore. I never ask people to call me Dave, because it sounds like a realtor’s name. But when they elect to do so themselves it makes me feel comfortable. My mom’s nickname for me is Detour Dave, after a traffic announcer on the Baltimore radio station 98 Rock. I get myself a scoop of mac ‘n’ cheese and put it in the microwave. I would vote for my cousin, I think as I lean on the counter and the food spins in the microwave. She’d be a good Democrat. I’m too neurotic and self-absorbed for something like that.

The microwave beeps.

The white privilege shout-off, featuring exclusively white people, concludes, and people start going home. I stick around with my mac ‘n’ cheese and sit down on the couches with my aunt and grandmother. They’re lovely couches, overstuffed with checkered red upholstery.

“There was a time when a family could have Republicans and Democrats in it and it wasn’t a big deal,” my grandmother says. “Not now.”

This time last year we were walking to dinner at a crabhouse, and she said to me, “David, I’ve never seen the country like this.” She was alive and aware in the sixties, bear in mind. And so I found this statement especially unsettling. What’s going to happen, I thought. Is anyone else worried that the whole thing is going to fall apart?

I am.

Later that night we were at dinner. I had crabcakes, of course. One of my relatives walked up behind me, his cane tapping on the floor. He’s a Republican. He leaned close to me.

“How do you like your new country, David?”

Come back.

My brother sits down with us on the red couches and does most of the talking. He’s the gregarious one. He lived on Edmondson Avenue in Baltimore in 2015 and from his porch watched the National Guard roll in during the Freddie Gray uprising. I can see him on that porch now, smoking with his housemates as the tanks passed, as the smoke rolled toward the sky from downtown. At the time I was at an elementary school in Anacortes, Washington, with YouTube open and my jaw on the floor.

Come back.

When it’s time to go home I crouch down at the front door to tie my shoes. My aunt and grandmother wait for me. They are standing over me, watching me.

I stand up and say, “I really hate Donald Trump.”

“No one here is going to argue with you,” my aunt says.

I look down at the floor and see a little knot of silver under the dessert table. I pick it up.

“What’s this?” I say.

“It’s my necklace,” my aunt says. “The knot is too tight. I’m going to take it to the jeweler to get it out.”

“Let me try,” I say.

I struggle for a few minutes. They are still watching me. I’m worried that I have set myself up for failure, so I really focus. I’ve bitten my nails down, so I have to softly tease the knot apart with my fingertips. Eventually I manage to get it out. It’s a fine, delicate silver chain.

“Thanks, Dave,” my aunt says. I hand it to her and kiss her goodbye.

My brother is outside smoking. He drives us home. We smoke Newports out the windows as we fly up Route 40. There is very little on that road. He speeds, I think. Who cares. It’s Maryland, so on the radio we toggle between country and hip hop. We pass billboards. We pass an Amazon facility that was built but never staffed. Imagine that kind of money, to build something but then leave it totally empty.

We pass American flags, at half-staff for the recently-deceased George H.W. Bush. He was the president when I was born. He was the president when Mark died.

My aunt, my grandmother, and I are staunch Democrats.

***

I feel like everything has already been said about Southern California. Even the future has been documented in Southern California. It’s been imagined many times. California on fire, or underwater, mega-urban, Bladerunner-style. Why does everyone fantasize about destroying Southern California? Maybe it’s because it shouldn’t have been settled like this. Of course it should not have been colonized, but after that even—why build a city where there should not, cannot, be a city? Did anyone stop and think of that? It’s a desert, but they tried to build Eden.

Even the word California is fantastical. It is believed to come from the sixteenth century Spanish novel Las Sergas de Esplandián, by García Rodríguez de Montalvo. The novel describes a mythical island called California, “on the right hand from the Indies…very close to a side of the Earthly Paradise; and it was populated by black women, without any man existing there, because they lived in the way of the Amazons.” Their queen was named Calafia.

When I arrive in Los Angeles I take the Amtrak Pacific Surfliner from Union Station to San Juan Capistrano. I almost miss the last train. I have to run to Platform 13 and nearly suffocate trying to board in time. I sit in a dark car and watch the darkness outside.

I am going to Heidi’s house—her mom’s house—in Orange County. Heidi and I met in Japan. She has to go to work in the mornings, so when she’s gone I shuffle downstairs and make coffee in her mom’s Keurig. I feel kind of evil every time I make coffee in that thing, because every coffee “pod” represents one more little tile in the mosaic of the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. But I don’t feel guilt. I’m not going to stop drinking it. Heidi and her mom don’t drink as much coffee as I do. I blow through those pods pretty fast. I think about offering to buy more, but I’m unsure of the etiquette involved. Guests get unlimited coffee, right? Like at car dealerships. I think that if I offer to buy more they will think I’m calling them cheap. But I also don’t want to seem like a mooch. I resolve to do nothing and keep drinking the coffee instead of seeking an appropriate solution.

I go outside to the patio. The sun is pouring over me. California forces you to be accurate. California looks nothing like the East Coast. On the East Coast and in Chicago the buildings look like tombstones. They are ashen fortifications against the harsh outdoors. But in California the houses are flat, adobe-inspired, stuccoed, surrounded by plants. Cacti and succulents. There are fruit trees. I remember Gretchen’s orange tree in Palo Alto, how amazing I thought it was that oranges could grow in someone’s backyard. Heidi’s patio has a palm tree in each corner, making it look like an Egyptian temple instead of a porch. The columnar trees spread their canopic fronds against the sun and the blue sky.

There is a drought in California. Heidi says not to leave the water running. There are signs in public parks which say not to drink water from the drinking fountains. Sometimes the faucet runs slow. I think twice before taking a shower and a third time before shaving.

Who will have the last drop in California?

Heidi’s mom comes downstairs. She is originally from Boston and has retained her Eastern shell, which I appreciate. One morning she makes me an omelette. In California it is standard to ask “Do you have any dietary restrictions?” before making food for someone or inviting them to dinner. Heidi’s mom asks me before she makes me the omelette. But I’ll eat anything. I am not picky. I’ll eat anything you want me to eat. The sky, the succulents.

She uses some goat cheese that Heidi and I picked up from Trader Joe’s. “This is Heidi’s cheese,” she says. “I would never buy it, but it’s great in omelettes.” She serves the omelette with buttered toast and blackberries on the side. I press my fork into the omelette but hesitate when I see her scoop hers up and place it on her toast. I follow suit, chopping mine in half and putting it on my toast.

“Remind me where you’re from one more time,” she says, biting into the omelette. “Chicago?”

“Maryland. But not Baltimore. The hillbilly part.”

She nods.

“So I guess you’ve got the travel bug like Heidi?”

“Sometimes. Right now I have the settle-down bug. But I still have seven months in Japan.”

“And you’re over it. Right? You’re over it.”

“I’m over it.”

“July’s not that far off,” she says. “You can hang in there.”

She’s right. I hope she’s right. She’s a therapist and I trust her. I have the feeling that she is reading my mind. I think all therapists are clairvoyant. Maybe she can divine the expression on my face like a fortune teller reading tea leaves. Maybe she can intuit how terrified I am of loneliness based on the shape of my mouth. Maybe she already knows everything about me. Maybe I am not as special as I think I am. Maybe I am just a predictable gumbo of neuroses.

There is no omelette the next morning. Heidi’s mom just says, “I already ate.” That’s it. It’s just a fact. I love that about people from the East Coast—their directness. I miss that. She sits down at her computer, a huge Mac desktop next to the sliding glass door. She types while I jostle the door open and shut all morning, unable to stay either inside or outside for too long.

I drink coffee and smoke on the patio. When noon hits I get to work on the box of Trader Joe’s cabernet that Heidi and I also bought. I spend the next several afternoons nursing it while Heidi is at work. Her brother and mom are either startled or impressed by this, watching this stranger sip boxed wine on their patio at noon on a weekday, day after day. They’re definitely confused. I feel kind of weird doing it, but I also feel detached enough from reality in Orange County to assume that it doesn’t matter. I don’t even know what day it is.

Heidi’s mom has two pugs. I can’t remember their names, so I just call them Grimes and Elon. She is in the kitchen doing dishes and I don’t want the smoke to bother her, so I decide to go out into the driveway. Grimes and Elon are sleeping peacefully in their little plush basket. I hope that Heidi’s mom doesn’t mind that I am leaving them unsupervised. Maybe one of them will do me the favor of eating my notebook and freeing me from the catalogue of my thoughts. I unlatch the gate and go out to the driveway that connects the houses to one another. The air is clean but looks a little bit fuzzy or sparkly. The houses all look the same, with stucco walls and red roofs. The trees are green but because of the drought the tips of the leaves are brown. They look burnt, singed. I imagine the palm fronds reaching too close to the burner on a gas stove. 

One of the houses on the next block has an American flag hanging out front, obscured a little bit by the haze. Or my imagination. For some reason I think that the flag looks out of place in Orange County. I don’t know where the “real America” is, but I don’t think it’s here. It’s not in Cecil County either though. Where the hell is it?

I look around. I didn’t grow up in the suburbs, so places like this always seem exotic to me. I feel as though I suddenly understand pop punk—the entire genre. Also Ska. I can imagine how Gwen Stefani would have been considered “edgy” in a place like this. I wonder how many pills are on this block alone. Hundreds? Thousands? How many affairs are going on? How many lawyers and therapists does it take to keep this one little block chugging along?

I hear a garage door open. I turn to my left and see an old woman with black-dyed hair wearing a red silk pajama suit shuffling into the driveway. She looks ahead vacantly and says nothing as she slowly bends down to pick up the newspaper. She turns back around just as slowly and shuffles back into the garage. The door clicks and retracts back down, sealing her inside. How long has she lived there? Heidi knows none of her neighbors’ names and has no intention of changing that, so there is no use asking her about the ghostly woman in red. Heidi’s neighbors only ever see her when she begrudgingly takes Elon and Grimes for walks, or when she exhales plumes of vaporized THC from her bedroom window at night like a stoned Rapunzel.

This morning I ate an omelette and last night I made a fire in Heidi’s fireplace. The Boy Scouts taught me to breathe fire. A fire is heat, fuel, and oxygen. I am holding a fire in my fingers. No one should try to eat fire. I take it back: fire is what I cannot eat. My dietary restriction is fire, okay? I’ve Californized. The whole state is on fire. It was, anyway. I don’t know if it is now.

I put the match to the kindling that Heidi and I have gathered from the woods near her house. I crouch toward the fireplace and ignite the kindling with my breath.

“There’s someone lucky waiting for you,” says Heidi’s boyfriend.

Maybe, I think. As long as he can breathe fire.

One night we go to dinner with Heidi’s friends, a couple. They are talking about the first time they said “I love you” to one another. I’m two drinks into happy hour and decide I might as well tell someone that I love them. Maybe this will be my big moment! So I go to the bathroom and text “Whatever I love you” to someone who I know full well does not love me back. That’ll do it, I think. I won’t be hearing from him again. An ethereal sense of relief then floats up through the heartbreak. All I really wanted was to say it.

When my grandmother was dating my grandfather in the sixties, it was kind of naughty, because she was Episcopalian and he was Catholic. “I just love bad boys,” she once said to me. She and my grandfather lived in Cecil County but his cousins lived in Baltimore. The first Amato to disembark there was named Leonardo, I think. “I would go down to Baltimore to see Bobby’s cousins. They were Catholic and lived over [wherever they lived—not somewhere nice]. They would bring me to their room, and then they would go into the closet and pull out mink coats and gin and silver cigarette stems. They couldn’t afford them. We would put on the coats and smoke out the windows.”

The stories I was told as a child are revealing themselves to be more and more intricate as the years pass. They look like the golden altar of the Serra Chapel at San Juan Capistrano Mission, “the jewel of the Missions.” You could look at that altar forever. Like the jewels of the South the Missions are testimony to slaughter.

You can get married there.

Heidi says that winter sunsets are the most spectacular in California. I don’t know why. In Japan she always longed for the sunset. She found the closest approximation possible to a California sunset at a beach on the northern coast of Oita prefecture, where we lived together for two years. The beach was barricaded by a seawall and was not really inviting of swimmers.

In San Clemente we go to a spot overlooking the ocean and find dozens of other people longing for the sunset. Heidi is home, where she is meant to be, her context. I think of my own context, my own longing. My spot is on a granite wall in North East running along the graveyard of a church near my house. When I was a teenager I would sit at the end, dangling my feet over the murky river. I still do that whenever I go home. I watch the Canada geese as they float, bob, spread their wings, and take off in formation toward the leafless trees.

In the California afternoon I will sit on the beach and read. The most interesting stories are about people who could never figure out what they wanted. Heidi drops me off at North Beach in San Clemente. I walk the beach trail along the Pacific Ocean and listen to music. The waves curl enormously and crash in huge eruptions of surf. I see teenage couples holding hands on lifeguard stands. At sunset I sit down on the sand and watch the sun dissipate through the cloud bank. The sky turns pink and orange. I try to identify what I am feeling. It’s something close to contentment but not exactly. I want to laugh. The moment feels funny for some reason. Everything feels funny and pointless, and watching the waves crash I feel like I can stop worrying so much. 

The next morning I return to the patio. I sit beneath the sun. The light dances along the leaves of the fruit trees. I drink the wine and lean back, feel myself warm and pretty. I close my eyes and pretend I am in Italy, among the mysterious groves of my ancestors.

—California

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #351

“the writing on the wall  /  a psalm of napalm  /  abandon all hope, but try to stay calm”

Do you have bad posture? Oh yeah. Are your eyes sensitive to sunlight? VERY. How many miles can you run without stopping? An astonishing zero miles. Who is the most attractive person you know personally? My high school friend Alon, probably. Have you ever dated someone who was very vastly different from your “type”? No. When was the first time you said "I love you" to a significant other? When I dated my first real boyfriend Jason at 16. I actually said it very early in because I thought I was "supposed" to, and I did REALLY like him. How old were you when you first lived alone? If you’ve never lived alone, how old do you think you’ll be? I haven't yet, and idk. What do you wish you had been better prepared for? Ha, adulthood. Is there anything about you (physically) that you think turns people off of you right off the bat? My weight. Do you know anyone with a semicolon tattoo? I have a semicolon butterfly tattoo on my wrist, and while it's very subtle, my Mark tat features a semicolon, too. It's outlined by a quote he's said ("you are important, never forget that"), and the "i" is a semicolon. Idk if I know anyone else with one. Have you ever overdosed on a drug? Once accidentally, once purposefully. Have you ever kissed a guy you didn’t want to kiss? Yes. Who was the last guy you cuddled with? Girt. What is something you’ve had a toxic reaction to? The breakup with Jason. In the last picture taken of you, how did you pose? I just tilted my head, smiled, and gave a peace sign, haha. Mom wanted to show my sister how I looked with a dozen wires and other shit attached to me for my sleep study. Have you ever made a fake Facebook account? If so, why? No. If you were an Eevee, what would you wanna evolve into? Probably Espeon? They're so, so majestic and beautiful. I'd love to feel like that, lol. What flavor was the last piece of gum you chewed? Raspberry lemonade. Did you ever used to watch the show Teen Titans? Nah. When you were in school/if you are in school, do you actually share your grades with your parents? If you got/get a bad grade, do you hide it from them? My mom always stayed up-to-date with my grades. I never really had anything to hide. Have you ever been the designated driver? Once or twice, yeah. Were you obsessed with Webkinz when they first came out? "Obsessed" is an understatement. I was that kid with dozens upon dozens. They were pretty much my favorite thing. Who do you subscribe to on YouTube, if anybody? Oh Jesus, looooots. Are you wearing nail polish right now? What color? No. Neon colors, or pastel? Pastel. Are you currently pregnant? Do you wish you were/weren’t? I'm not and have zero desire to be. Have you ever had a dog? A good number of them throughout my life. Is there any drama going on right now in your life? No. Does your hair fall out a lot? No. What’s your favourite type of bird? Barn owls. I also love ravens and crows. How many friends do you have on Facebook? 126. What was on the last sandwich you ate? Pb&j. What sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school? The same as I do now: metal and its various subgenres. Have you ever gotten back together with an ex? No. How far away is the closest store to your house and what is it? I'm actually unsure which is the closest. We live in a cul-de-sac with a bunch of houses, and the street opens into just outside the main city, so there's a lot of stores. What is your favourite Thai dish? I've actually never tried Thai food. How many contacts do you have in your phone? Very few, but I don't feel like counting. Are there any candles in your bedroom, and what scent are they? No. What pet names do you use with your significant other? I'm single. Do you have to wear a name badge where you work? I don’t have a job. Can you hear anything right now? Yeah, I'm watching Gab Smolders play Skyrim. It's a game I've always wanted to play myself. Is there anybody else in the room you’re currently in? No. What’s the name of the store you usually get your groceries? Walmart. Does your house have a porch/balcony? It has a very, very small porch. What is your mother’s first name? Donna. Did you have a tree house as a kid? No. Are you afraid of speaking to large audiences? I'm terrified of it. Have you ever cried from being so mad? Oh yeah, it's very common for me to cry when I'm mad. Have you ever taken a bath with someone? As a kid, yes. Do you have any brothers? One older one. Does your family use coasters? Is anyone in your family excessively tidy? No. Do you wear pajamas to places other than at your house? Ha, yeah, just depends on where. Do you take showers in the morning or at night more? Morning. I used to be ALL about night showers, but I just love how refreshing they are in the morning. It's a good start to the day. Do you snore? Steal the covers? Roll around in your sleep? I steal the covers SO bad and roll around a lot. God bless whoever marries me. You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? I can guarantee I'd be a total deer in headlights and probably tear up or just straight-up cry. Have you been/are you depressed? It's nowhere near as bad as it was once upon a time, but I honestly am depressed these days. Who is the one person you can completely be yourself around? I only feel entirely "safe" doing that around Sara. Are your popups blocked on your computer? Yeah. Are your parents night owls or morning birds? My mom's a total night owl. She absolutely hates sleeping because it's "such a waste of time" to her, but of course she does it anyway. I haven't lived with my father since I was like 16, so idk what he's really like with this stuff now, but I'd call him an early bird, particularly because his job has him up early anyway. Do you have high blood pressure? No; my blood pressure is actually extremely low, so much so it scares every doctor who hasn't treated me before. It's a medication side effect and seriously sucks, because I am absolutely always light-headed and dizzy. Have you ever pumped gas? No. Are you affectionate? Very. What would a perfect yard look like for you? Hmmm... I'm going to include things I know I won't realistically have for maintenance reasons, but what's ideal. I would loooove love love at least one really big tree with maybe a birdhouse and like a bat box (is that what they're called?), and I'd love tons and tons of flowers to feed bees and other wildlife. A koi pond would be amazing, but that's one of those things I know I won't actually have. A pool would be really nice, preferably inground, and having a spot in the shade would be perfect. Some berry bushes would be cool, and grape vines... Man, I'm really fantasizing now, haha. What is a topic that you have just recently become interested in? Nothing very recently, but I'd say the most recent would be uhhhh tarantulas, though that's been a thing for many months now. What is a feel-good song that you’ve been listening to lately? None lately, anyway. I can tell you "Jump" by Van Halen is the staple "feel-good" song for me, though. What are some things you enjoy seeing pictures of? Meerkats... Mark... more meerkats and Mark... oh also meerkats and Mark... Is there anything you are scared/awkward about talking about in life? Don't talk to me about sex. Has a pet ever stolen food from you as you were eating it? AS I was eating it, no. What is the weirdest compliment you have ever been given? I have no idea. What’s stronger - your upper or lower body? Jesus, I couldn't tell you. I'm just weak, period. Women tend to have more lower body strength, so I GUESS maybe that, but given the fact my legs are horribly weak, I don't know. My arms aren't strong, either. Are you very careful with your technology (phone, laptop, etc) or do you take risks that could damage them? I try to be mindful and careful, but you could say the way I pick up my laptop sometimes is risky. Have you ever been in the newspaper? What for? I think so, as part of my graduating class? But that would be a LOT of people... so I actually don't know. I have this faint memory of being in it with other people, but idr. Would you say that the area you live in is particularly picturesque? Ew, no. What is your favorite type of cat? One does not simply pick ONE favorite kind of cat. I love Persians, Ragdolls, Siamese, sphynxes, bengals, Abyssinians, and I could go on and on. If you had your way, what color(s) would you dye your hair? I have A LOT of colors I want to dye my hair, but the ones I'm currently most interested in are pastel pink, creamsicle orange, and lilac. Do you like seafood? If so, what is your favorite? If not, what is your favorite type of food? I only like shrimp. What religion/spiritual path intrigues you the most, if any? Paganism. It's the one I think is closest to what I believe in, and I just find it all very interesting. I love the nature focus. Would you ever consider getting dreadlocks? Nooooo. How many times is your cartilage pierced in your ears? None anymore. :( I miss all my piercings that closed while hospitalized. Have you ever had a pet bird? Nah. It'd be cool, but I don't want one enough to actually get one. Do you like dinosaurs? I looooove dinos. They were my obsession as a kid. My first dream career was even a paleontologist. Do you like going for long walks with friends? If my legs worked like a healthy fucking human's, I would love to do that again. I would literally collapse if I tried to go on a long walk now. Do you miss anyone from school? I miss a lot of people from school. I'm thankful for Facebook for that, but even that's not enough, really. What is your favorite flavor of Jolly Ranchers? Watermelon, I think? Was there a strawberry one? How are your parents right now? I'm assuming Dad's fine, and Mom's okay, just stressed as she always is. Can you take naps, or does it make you feel horrible? Man, I love naps. They're like, mandatory for my existence, lol. If you celebrate Christmas, do you get a real tree or an artificial tree? A fake one. Have you ever been told you were a good writer? Yeah. Do you watch music videos? No. Do you own an account on Club Penguin? Haha awww, remember the worldwide heartbreak when that site shut down? Anyway, I did as a kid. Do you like lemonade? Sure do. Was your first kiss perfect? To me it was. How do you feel about the first person you kissed? I feel a lot of things about him. As of right now, how do you feel about your future? Nervous. Who is the last person you ran into unexpectedly? *shrugs* Is sex something special, or just for fun? It has to be something special for me personally. Do you follow fashion? If so, why? Not at all. Have you ever played a real pinball machine? No. Do you like the smell of BBQs? I love the smell, but don't like the food. Do wasps scare you? Yes. Are you currently trying to get over someone? I mean, yes and no. I don't think I'll ever be fully over Jason, but I feel like I'm as "over him" as I'll ever be, maybe. I hope I can even further let him go, but we'll just have to see. Have you ever dated someone with longer hair than yours? Yes. Have you ever worn flip flops in the snow? HA, oh yeah. If it's only a dusting, I don't care at all. I pretty much always wear flip flops. How old were you when you met your first love? I was 15. If you could have one more pet, what? JUST one? Probably a Brazilian Black tarantula, ideally. I technically want a western hognose snake more, but given I already have a snake, in this hypothetical situation, I'd take the spider. Would you rather have an owl or a snake? Ha, speaking of snakes. A snake, even though I adore owls. What do you order at Chic-Fil-A? I don't give my business to Chick-fil-A. They're reigned by homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit that have given monetary contributions to anti-LGBT foundations, including most disgustingly those that support conversion therapy. I admittedly looooove their chicken sandwiches, but I just can't in good conscience go there. Have you ever been addicted to cigarettes? No, given I've never smoked and will never. Which do you use more? Facebook or Instagram? Facebook. Did you enjoy your past relationships? Yeah. Do you like '80s music? '80s metal is great. Something you would NEVER buy? Drugs. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? I first questioned if I was bisexual in middle school, 8th grade I think, but I went into denial about it given I was Christian at the time. Looking back, there were many clear signs of me liking girls too, I just didn't notice them until a few years ago when I came out as bi. Do you like Star Wars? No. What is the best thing about life? Experiencing love, both platonic and romantic. Are you superstitious? No. What show/concert have you gone to that you didn’t like much? I haven't experienced a bad concert before, but then again I've only been to one. Is sex a must in your life? Nah. Have you watched porn alone before? I've never watched porn period. I have absolutely no desire to watch two random people go at each other. What do you think about weed? It should be legal everywhere, but treated similarly to alcohol in that there are legal repercussions to doing certain things, like driving, under the influence. There are just too many benefits for many health conditions to ignore. Have you read the entire Bible before? No. I've started to before, but I didn't get far.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''apex predator'' by otep

[automatismoateo]

Isn't god just sadistic and cruel? via /r/atheism

Submitted August 02, 2021 at 07:20PM by pinkpanthercub (Via reddit https://ift.tt/3lrEBB8) Isn't god just sadistic and cruel?

Hi everyone i'm new here

I have struggled with religion all my life. I never felt the presence of any god in my life and i always kept god and religion at arms length because i felt no connection to it. When i decided i should at least make the effort to look into it a bit more i bought a bible on eBay and read it. I visited some Christian forums and had a look around. The bible to me seems like a violent nasty book. Also painfully repetitive considering its length, the same themes are repeated over and over and over again (worship me, if you're male please get your dick snipped because for some inexplicable reason i gave you a foreskin when i designed you but i demand you to cut it anyway and give me millions of burnt offerings and lie face on the ground before me or else i'll burn your city down and torture you, that sort of thing)

The religious forums i visited are easily the most vicious and nasty i have ever come across, the people there act like they are superior because of their faith and other humans are just trash who deserve to be screaming in agony for eternity just for having a different view to them. I think people like that are hiding behind their faith as an excuse to be hateful towards other humans. They are just cruel and hateful and use god as a way to justify it.

Every time there is a natural disaster the comments on YouTube are full of people saying that its a sign of the ''end times'' and god is sending us misery and suffering so that we repent and accept him or whatever. If an actual god did exist and they were the loving god people claim it is, why would it send us wildfires and floods and earthquakes as a way to show us its ''love''. Instead why wouldn't it show us how much it loves us by give us a positive message. If such an almighty god is there, this god could just speak to us and tell us to be kinder and work with us to make things better. Instead it is always absent, invisible, but it sends a lovely flood or an earthquake to let us know how great and loving it is?!

I never understood how people can justify the thought of anyone being tortured for eternity. But many believers say its our fault for rejecting god. I say if such a god exists, and this god is supposed to be so brilliant. why did it make everything so vague that no one really knows the truth? Even believers fight among themselves about what is true or not. Why doesn't this almighty god make everything clear? Why does this god create humans with human flaws and then tell us that we are sinning and we have to spend our entire lives repenting for simply being human and acting how we are naturally. If he loves us why is it that we can't accept our faults as humans and demands we repent or we face ''hell''? And if he created hell then it is his fault if we are going there. He made the rules impossibly strict and cruel, punished us for being human and was vague and invisible, but we are going to be punished for eternity if we don't make the right choice in our short lifespan? There is no second chance?! Maybe if god presented himself to us more clearly we would find it easier to be guided down the right path, but the path is unclear.

Would a loving and forgiving god really demand we act perfect when we can never be perfect, demand we never act on natural human feelings and behaviour when it is...erm....natural and human to us. Why would a loving god say we will be punished sadistically and endlessly for our flaws which we are born with and can't change because we are human?

They say god created humans in his image, isn't it more likely that humans created god in their image? Since ''almighty'' god seems rather mundane and human with its jealousy, anger, pettiness, spite, narcissism.

My conclusion, even if such a god did exist (highly doubtful) i wouldn't worship if because it just seems like a cruel sadistic narcissist and not much more. It is either made up by humans as a way of controlling them through fear or it actually does exist and if it does exist it doesn't deserve worship because it seems like it just sees us as toys to cruelly play with. It says we have a choice. worship, serve, obey it like slaves, or don't and get tortured. If i had to exist for eternity i would probably be tempted to create something to play with for my own amusement and to stop the boredom of eternity too, it doesn't mean i would be deserving of worship. It just means i am a cruel tyrant who forced people to exist and then forced them to be terrified of it.

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