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lesbianweems · 10 months

Text

Where did you go?

Larissa Weems/Morticia Addams

Summary: In her dreams Larissa visits but when she wakes to the crushing reality that the other half of her soul is no longer there, how does she handle it?

Classification: Angst, previous slow burn relationship

Warnings: Major character death, Gomez is there as an npc

Word count: +3k

@lesbianweems was my beta thanks for letting me put you through mental trauma as the process of writing this went on.

All my grief says;

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be!

The world laughs and holds my hope by the throat saying:

But this is how it is. - Fortesa Latifi

“Tish. . .”

The voice rang somewhere from within the depths of her mind that was still heavy with sleep, Mortica was unable to properly connect the dots and yet it was so hard to open her eyes and glance at her surroundings.

“Tish. . .!” There it was again and all she could do was groan audibly in response as her vision finally became clear and she couldn’t help, but glance around her bedroom at the manor–except Gomez wasn’t laying beside her like he normally was and she wasn’t wrapped up safely within his arms.

Their room was (and normally she did not mind) shockingly freezing, but for some reason this cold felt different, almost ominous; almost lonely in a manner of speaking and she wasn’t too fond of that.

“Morticia!” she jerked straight up in bed and glanced around the room again in a more frantic way than she had previously done because of that voice. . .it was Larissa! When the woman’s eyes finally adjusted she could clearly make out the woman sitting by her feet looking as beautiful and ethereal as ever.

Maybe even more than when she had last seen her there was something about Larissa that was different this time, perhaps if Morticia looked deep into her eyes she could see just what was wrong. Those eyes, always those eyes that would threaten to swallow her whole wasn’t it? Morticia could easily spend hours being lost within those azure eyes and never get tired of it.

“Larissa? What are you doing here?” The question may have been silly at first but she couldn’t help it, the blonde never visited her without a phone call or even a letter stating she would be stopping by the manor and in the middle of the night no less? It was strange and for some reason she felt this odd feeling of melancholy take over her heart, and as she slowly rose to her knees Larissa stood quickly just out of her reach. . .forever out of my reach.

A soft almost sad smile pulled at those gorgeous red painted lips as the woman clasped her hands in front of herself, something she often did when she was anxious and didn’t really know what to do with herself. “I just wanted to come visit you–is there something wrong with that?” her voice sounded off. . .almost distant and the fact that she wouldn’t let Morticia touch her only heightened the feeling that she couldn’t quite put her finger on.

“Of course not! I would never turn down seeing you, but in the middle of the night? I cannot come by the school in the morning–?” Morticia was cut off quickly when she looked up again and saw something within the blonde that made her blood run completely cold. There was a ball of emotion welling up within her throat that made it increasingly difficult to swallow and there was a burning behind her eyes as tears threatened to gather against her lash line.

“Larissa please!” Morticia’s pleading voice was heard from across their dorm as she stood and without another word curled her fingers around the blonde’s wrist preventing her from going any further. It had been in a moment of weakness that Morticia had come clean about Garrett Gates and how he was making her feel–how uncomfortable and scared she was. Larissa had froze on the spot, fingers curled into a white knuckled grip, nails digging into her palm almost hard enough to draw blood.

Jerking her hand away from Morticia’s grasp as she turned to face her, there was nothing but hot red fury and something else within her eyes–it wasn’t supposed to be like this. “He is stalking you! When we go into town he is somehow always there, I’ve seen it and so has Gomez! This isn’t a game, Morticia, he could seriously injure you!” Fully intending to go to the cops herself but she somehow knew they wouldn’t believe anyone from Nevermore, Garrett’s father was a prominent figure within Jericho and he abhorred Outcasts of any one type. . .the police were in his back pocket more or less.

“Please don’t go there. I don't want you involved in it as well, you could get hurt.” Morticia’s voice was weak as her arms wrapped around Larissa’s waist and she was burying her face within the blonde’s chest. This was so incredibly rare for her sweet dove and for a split second Larissa had almost forgotten why she was so upset because she had her entire world in her arms right now–and she would do anything to keep that world safe.

Standing slowly and wrapping the sheer robe tighter around herself, Morticia’s subtle shift nearly made Larissa scoff imperceptibly–because what would something like that do against the cold in her room? Yet, at the same time the black robe that could barely be called a piece of clothing was so completely Morticia that it made her heart ache from the familiarity of it all. Why had she remained silent all this time? Larissa even when they were starting to fall apart always had something to say, but right now was completely silent and stood if made out of porcelain.

It was as if she would shatter into a million pieces should Morticia reach out to barely place a finger on her, why did it feel so wrong all of the sudden? Somewhere in the furthest part of her brain the pieces were slowly connecting, but she refused to acknowledge them–because Larissa would never succumb to death so easily. She was always the type of woman that would fight for her place in the world even if she had been moving on her very last breath.

Shaking her head quickly as if doing that would remove all thoughts and ideals of losing Larissa to death, making her way across the room she carefully and ever so gently curled her fingers around the blonde’s wrist–though it didn’t last. Morticia jerked her hand away quickly as if burned, her own eyes scanning over her shaking fingers as she once again looked to where Larissa stood. Why was she so cold? Her skin was always so warm; everything about Larissa Weems was warmth, some days it was as if the sun itself had taken up residence within her soul and radiated from her entire being.

“Larissa. . .what are you–?!” Before Morticia could say another word she was pinned against the wall one of the blonde’s hands rested beside her head while the other slid around her waist. “Let me have this, Tish. . .please?”

Her tone was different from how Morticia was used to, it was more desperate and needy in a way that broke Morticia’s heart into a million pieces; shattering it completely and all she could think was that this was going to cause irreparable damage. The little voice somewhere in the back of her mind telling her that there was finality in the moment they were sharing, and Morticia wasted no time in throwing her arms around Larissa’s waist her nails digging into the fabric of her dress as if that would keep her here. . .as long as she didn’t let go that would keep her here.

When she opened her eyes again she was on her back in bed and Larissa was hovering over her and all she could do was cup her cheeks, thumbs stroking over the cool flesh slowly moving across her bottom lip.

“Please stay. . .” Morticia whispered under her breath as she leaned up and allowed for their lips to connect in a soft kiss, her bottom lip trembling slightly as tears slid down her cheeks.

“You’re joking! Surely you have to be!” The urgency within Morticia’s voice as she sat upon Larissa’s bed, dark eyes following the shapeshifter as she paced the room. Larissa told her that once they graduated after she had been able to complete her minor academics at the local community college–after she picked a major their current headmistress wanted her to intern under and eventually take over.

From the very moment the blonde had mentioned that and when their hands touched Morticia was plagued with awful visions of a future she had hoped would never come to fruition; Larissa’s body convulsing and jerking–her fearful gaze as someone stood over her holding a syringe full of some type of strange liquid. “You can’t do that! If you do you’ll–Larissa, if you go down this path you will die!”

Normally her visions were doves and positive but this wasn’t one of those moments and while she did see Larissa alive, healthy, and so very happy with her position as headmistress of Nevermore. Morticia could also see the darkness hiding behind the oh so bright light that seemed to radiate from the blonde, something bad was going to happen if she continued down this path and just as Larissa had attempted to protect her, she wanted to return the favor so badly.

Yes her visions were unreliable and dangerous they could never be counted on properly but she couldn’t help this one, it felt so completely real and left her gasping for air when she woke up. Her head placed in Larissa’s lap as soft words of encouragement were whispered into her ear for her to return safely.

“Why do you even care, Morticia? You are going to marry Gomez and start this happy life that he has planned for you two, you cannot have your cake and eat it too! You made your choice and I am making mine here and now. I have lived in your shadow for far too long but I am going to make a name for myself.” Larissa’s tone was firm and full of a strength that Morticia had not seen in such a long time, but there was also heartbreak within her when she mentioned the idea of her marrying Gomez.

“You are so stubborn! Why do you have to be like this?!” Her voice cut through the silence between them after what felt like an eternity. Once again Larissa’s defenses were so clearly displayed before Morticia. Perhaps she was a little spoiled because all she had to do was mutter what she wanted and Gomez would jump at the idea of making her happy, but Larissa wasn’t and would never be like that. Is this really what it felt like to be in love with two completely different people? Why did she hurt like this? Why was she so angry that Larissa wouldn’t just conform and listen to her?

Larissa took a soft breath and gazed at her roommate–her. . .no Morticia was just her roommate and that was all she would ever be. “Go to Hell, Morticia.”

The words were spoken with so much spite and hurt so much that it felt like a million tiny knives were slicing her heart to ribbons. Each piece slid down her ribcage and landed at her feet in a mess of emotions and lost moments as the door slammed shut behind Larissa. Those would be the last words they spoke to each other before graduation would happen the following week and Larissa would do everything in her power to avoid Morticia at every single turn.

When Morticia opened her eyes again she met those deep azure beauties that made her feel lightheaded and her breath caught within her lungs; a breath she didn’t realize she was holding until Larissa’s cold hand cupped her cheek and brushed the tears away from her eye. Red painted lips pressing a kiss to where the tear had stained her cheek.

“Don’t leave me, Larissa.” It was spoken so weakly in such a non-Morticia way that whatever resolve the blonde had was quickly crumbling before them.

“You cannot hide from the truth of things, Tish–you know already don’t you? I have never been able to astral project into your dreams like this, you have to know what this means.” Her voice was soft and it only served to break Morticia even more, her fingers tightening within Larissa’s dress almost threatening to rip the fabric.

Just as their lips were going to meet once again she was jerking straight up in bed covered in a cold sweat and tear stains upon her cheeks, one of her hands moving to rest over her heart in a pathetic attempt to calm the fact that it felt like it was going to beat right out of her chest. A weakened sob escaped her lips as she glanced over and saw Gomez sleeping comfortably next to her, his arm draped over her midsection for the very first time since they had first been unable to keep their hands off each other; it felt wrong to have him touch her.

Morticia felt her stomach turn slightly as she moved his arm away from her carefully and got out of bed to get ready for the day, it was just a horrible nightmare right? That is all it was if she somehow found a way to the school and went straight to Larissa’s office, she would find her waiting there for her not a hair out of place, makeup done perfectly, and those ocean blue eyes watching her with utmost love and respect. Even after everything they had been through Larissa still held so much love and adoration for her; the kind of love that Morticia did not and would never deserve after everything she had put the blonde through.

“Is this Morticia Addams?” The voice came through on the other end of the line and all she could do was attempt to swallow around that emotion that had welled up within her throat once again, a tear slipped down her cheek as Gomez stood beside her a reassuring hand placed upon her lower back. So badly she wanted to shake it off and storm away from him in the only dramatic fashion that both he and Larissa knew. “We need you to identify. . .you were listed as an emergency contact and next of kin.”

Radio static was the closest thing she could compare their voice to on the other end of her phone, normally she detested and refused to use this technology but it was how Larissa sometimes communicated with her regarding Wednesday and she could so easily hear the blonde’s voice about joining the present age of technology–even when she herself didn’t properly use her cell phone for anything other than business related matters.

The device slipped out of her hand and clattered to the floor, it was so loud in this kind of silence the only thing that could be heard was Morticia’s rapid breathing and somewhere in the distance Gomez was speaking to her, but she couldn’t make out a single word of what he was attempting to say to her.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. . .

Morticia hated protocol more than anything in the world and even though she knew that is all it was when she received the call the idea of flat out refusing to go because as long as she didn’t have to face it then it wasn’t real, but Larissa didn’t deserve any of this to be left waiting for someone to do what needed to be done. No, Larissa Weems deserved the entire universe and everything that came along with it but had only been given crumbs and the scraps of Morticia’s love, she had given everything ( including her life ) for Nevermore and still it didn’t seem like that was enough in the eyes of the town.

It was unbearably sunny almost to the point it made her skin feel a little irritated and itchy when she arrived in Jericho later that afternoon, choosing to make Gomez wait for her at the Weathervane because this was something she wanted to do alone; no it was something she had to do alone. Her husband had always been there standing between the two women in a way that was obstructive and nearly impossible for them to discuss anything about their past without him knowing.

Once she was inside the morgue normally a place like this wouldn’t make her nerves be on edge; the cold of the room sinking deep within her bones as she was led over to a place she absolutely did not want to be. A deep breath was taken and just as quickly left her lungs when she looked down and saw the blonde, having to reach out and grip the cold slab that Larissa was placed on in order to keep herself from crumbling. The medical examiner knew who she was, who in Jericho did not know Larissa Weems and everything she had done for Nevermore? Once again she wanted to throw such a fit that would even make the woman before her grin and roll her eyes fondly at seeing her in such a state “I-It’s her. . .” Morticia murmured almost inaudibly as she gazed down at the woman who in all reality looked like she was just sleeping, but this was not the last image of Larissa she wanted burned into her mind.

It shouldn’t be like this!

“Oh. . what have they done to you, mon coeur?” Her voice was quiet as she felt the tears once again gathering in her eyes. “You do not deserve this, I’m so sorry.” Morticia whispered as she leaned down and pressed a fleeting kiss to Larissa’s forehead, she was so cold–where had her sun gone?

Of course the one day they didn’t bring their umbrellas into town the sky would open up and pour rain down like that had never seen, but Larissa didn’t seem to be too bothered by it as she and Morticia ran for cover the blonde holding her hand gently as they stopped right by the fountain near the center of town. “It’s only a little water, Tish I’m sure you’ll be fine.” Her smile was nothing short of sunshine itself and Morticia couldn’t help how she cupped her cheeks within her hands and leaned in to kiss her.

For a split second Larissa’s brain must’ve short circuited because her hands went limp at her sides and all she could do was stand there, but she wasted no time in returning the kiss quietly thankful that not many residents were outside given the weather and most of their fellow students had returned to the school before it started raining. “Can I keep you?” The words were spoken so innocently against Morticia’s lips that her heart ached in wonderful ways, and thudded rapidly against her ribcage.

Sitting by the now ruined fountain courtesy of her daughter Morticia ran her fingers over the top of the water, careful not to disturb the natural surroundings of the area as she looked up at the sky, the clouds parting and for once the sun against her skin didn’t burn or itch. The warmth seeped into her bones as Gomez came up behind her and placed a hand upon her shoulder gently “Cara mia, we need to go to the school things need to be handled.” his hand moved to cup her cheek and Morticia couldn’t help but lean into the touch, her eyes slipping closed as she stood and made her way to their vehicle.

Mon coeur, I remain yours until I breathe my last.

All my grief says;

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be!

The world laughs and holds my hope by the throat saying:

But this is how it is.

#larissa weems #morticia addams #morissa #lartica #enjoy the pain I have been working three months on #you are very welcome

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