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#you are on the internet so you are opening yourself up to criticism being called gross for liking Gonkillu is not constructive nor is just
kitasgloves · 4 months
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comforting your insecure bf
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part 2 . part 3
— ♬ NSFW, MINORS DNI, gn reader, based on this post
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— ♬ Kageyama Tobio
Your long-time boyfriend Kageyama Tobio was adored by many for his outlandish talent as a setter in volleyball and for his handsome looks. You weren't naive to the people developing adorable crushes on the athlete and the people thirsting over him online. It appeared to you that Kageyama was contented with what he has in life at the moment.
However, you were oblivious to your boyfriend's surprising confession of his insecurity. You have no clue that Kageyama has been harboring it for a long period. He tells you that it was perhaps linked to his high school trauma of being left behind, he developed a thought that he wasn't good enough when he was a teenager. That's why he pushed everybody away and focused on volleyball, he believed he wasn't good enough to make anyone stay.
Now, that was a load of bullshit. Although it's sad to think Kageyama still felt this way until his adulthood despite having a secure life, you weren't going to let him believe further that he was unworthy of being loved. Your boyfriend was lovable, he has adorable ways of showing you affection, and he's deeply honest and comfortable with you.
"Ahhh, [Name] slow down, please"
Kageyama lets out a breathless moan as you pumped his cock vigorously in front of the bedroom mirror. His athletic shorts were pulled down and his shirt exposed his toned abs. You settled from behind on the bed, burying your face against his neck as your warm breath tickles his skin. Kageyama desperately grips the bedsheets throwing his head back while you jerked him off.
"Baby you sound so pretty right now"
"Please [Name], want to cum"
"I'll make you cum if you stop telling yourself that you're unlovable"
The setter turns his head to you but you force him to look into the mirror. He gazes at his disheveled reflection, panting with your hand now massaging his balls.
"Tobio, you're so sweet, kind, and patient"
"You make me so happy in so many ways"
"You're better than what you think you are. If you were so unlovable, then I wouldn't have stayed would I, love?"
You whisper tenderly against his ear. He was hypnotized by your words and the way your hand around his cock continuously pushed him to the edge. His heart threatened to burst out of his ribcage.
"You're so fucking hot too. I like it when you moan, Tobio"
"I like the way you kiss me when we fuck"
"I like how your cock makes me cum every time"
Kageyama swallows as his head grows dizzy, his release is a few strokes away and you can feel it. His hips begin to buck against your hand as he watches himself fall apart through the mirror. When you cooed his name, he goes slack as cum shoots out of his cock, coating both your hand and his abdomen. He collapses in your arms. When he opened his eyes, he tiredly smiled at you.
"I'm so lucky to have you in my life, [Name]"
"I should be saying that to you, Tobio"
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— ♬ Kozume Kenma
Being a famous YouTuber and a figure on the internet didn't save Kenma Kozume from all the wholesome, deranged, and horny posts about his handsome looks on the internet. Everyone was infatuated with Kodzuken once in their life, you included. You were just lucky enough to end up with him. You couldn't care less if the internet was mad about you for stealing their hot gamer YouTuber. Although you were unbothered about the small percentage of hate you got from the people on the internet, criticizing your public relationship with Kenma, there's a much smaller percentage you weren't aware that has been bothering your beloved boyfriend.
You know Kenma was chronically online, even if he chooses not to admit it. He always knows the trending topics and drama, no matter the size of it. So it's no surprise that he stumbles to the small group of people calling him unworthy of you. Kenma thought it was absurd for a while until he kept reading more.
He sees clips of his live streams where he's dismissing you during a tough game when you walked in the room to give him a snack, he even shouted at you one time because he lost. He remembers missing your anniversary because he got distracted playing with his friends. And how could he forget how he made fun of you live in front of his audience for sucking at Mario Kart when he invited you. Before he realizes it, Kenma is convinced that he is a bad boyfriend.
Despite his unbothered demeanor, you know how Kenma cares a lot even the little things. So when you found out how he's absorbing the hate he got online, you knew it had gone over to his head. As soon as he was finished recording a gameplay, you dragged him out of his gamer chair and pushed him on the bed. Surprised, he watches you push the mirror in front of him. He raises a brow when you order him to strip, he obeys when he sees the dark look in your eyes.
"Kenma, how long have you been listening to the wrong people, hm?"
You gently asked him as you slowly stroked his cock, Kenma whimpered, suddenly unable to form any words to respond. He was flushed all over, losing the ability to think straight.
"Do you think those stupid haters are right, huh? Do you think you don't deserve me?"
Kenma moans when you begin to play with his balls, his heartbeat wildly banging against his ribcage. His brain felt like mush.
"Look at the mirror, Kenma. Do you think that handsome man staring back at you is a shitty boyfriend?"
"...Yes"
"Well, you're fucking wrong. Because my boyfriend is the best in the world"
You hear Kenma's breath hitch. The male can feel his heart flutter in his chest. The longer you jerked him off, the more the pleasure overtakes all of his senses.
"My boyfriend is so cute and nice he gives me animal crossing plushies"
"My boyfriend is so smart and fantastic at video games"
"My boyfriend is so fucking hot when he fucks me hard after a tough game"
Now, you got Kenma openly moaning and struggling to keep his eyes on the mirror. If you continue showering him with compliments like that, he's afraid he's not going to last long. His hands grab your thighs tightly with every breath you steal from his lungs.
"Are you ready to stop listening to those people online, baby?"
"Are you ready to listen to me?"
Kenma nods and you smirked. Your hand pumps his cock faster ripping a high-pitched moan from your boyfriend. You force him to watch the mirror as you kiss his neck and inhale the scent of his hair while you jerk him toward orgasm. When Kenma cums, he spasms with his cum shooting in different directions. The crash brought by the pleasure was so overwhelming it sent his eyes to the back of his head. You waited as his high melted. Kenma meets your eyes through the mirror and you send him a sweet smile, and he returns it gratefully.
"I don't deserve you, [Name]"
"Hey! What did I say, Kenma?"
"That I'm the best boyfriend in the world"
"Damn right"
He turns around to pin you to the bed before towering on top of you, there was a determined glint in his eye that made you gulp.
"How about I return the favor, love?"
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— ♬ Iwaizumi Hajime
Everyone liked Iwaizumi Hajime. He was kindhearted, hardworking, and most of all drop-dead hot. He can make anyone drool with that muscular body of his. Nobody was immune to the boyish charm of the athletic trainer, that could be said the same to you. As the manager of the Japan Volleyball Team, you were bound to meet Iwaizumi. You remember how incredibly lucky you were when he asked you out on a date.
When you and Iwaizumi became official, things began to appear clearer. You have concluded that you couldn't live without your boyfriend, as dramatic as it seems. You met Iwaizumi's best friend after the Olympics. Oikawa Tooru and you got along well through teasing Iwaizumi, the way you two immediately became close after meeting planted an odd feeling in the athletic trainer's chest.
He'd like to brush it off as a trick of the eye, but he thought you were smiling wider because of Oikawa. Your laughter sounded louder when Oikawa told you a funny story. He could've sworn he caught you blushing when the setter was anywhere physically close to you. Iwaizumi knows he wasn't jealous, he knows what that felt like. But this one's familiar.
It reminded him of high school when he saw people flock around his best friend. The way Oikawa effortlessly attracted everyone's attention and gained their affection made his chest hollow. After all, why would anyone pay attention to him? He wasn't anything spectacular compared to his best friend.
After Oikawa went home, you noticed how quiet Iwaizumi had been. You knew your boyfriend so it was easy to find out why he was behaving this way. When you realize that it had something to do with Oikawa earlier, your heart cracks. Did he feel insecure? No, it can't be. But then why does he appear so down?
"Hajime, come here"
You call out to him on the bed. He lazily walks over to you, as he sits you positioned right behind him. You wrapped your arms around him and planted butterfly kisses all over his neck. His breath stuttered when you reached for the hem of his sweatpants.
"Wh-what are you doing, [Name]?"
"Shhh, lemme touch you"
With red cheeks, Iwaizumi reluctantly helps you pull his sweatpants off. It didn't take long for him to feel aroused. The moment he got a boner, your hand was already around his cock. He lets out a low hiss. You give him a few leisure pumps.
"Keep your eyes on the mirror, babe"
"[Name] I-"
"I said, eyes on the mirror, Hajime"
Iwaizumi reluctantly gazed at the mirror in front of the bed, he was not prepared for the lewd sight that awaited. His legs were spread with your hand stroking his cock, his face was flushed with sweat trickling down his forehead. Your eyes stared at his through the mirror.
"God, you're so handsome, Hajime"
"I'm so fucking lucky to have you in my life, babe"
The athletic trainer can feel his heart skipping beats, and his head begins to spin because of the sudden compliments and the erotic handjob.
"Were you upset earlier because I was hanging out with Oikawa?"
Iwaizumi nodded, he wanted to be honest with you. A tiny smile rises on your lips.
"I'm sorry, baby. Didn't mean to make you feel insecure"
"You know, you're the only one for me, Hajime"
You whisper tenderly against his ear. When you reach down to caress his balls, Iwaizumi lets out a choked moan.
"Oikawa may be handsome but you're my type"
"You're so fucking amazing, Hajime"
"You're so kind, patient, hardworking, and hot"
"Plus, you're good at pounding me senseless"
The pace of your hand went faster at every praise and it's making Iwaizumi go cross-eyed. He has a gorilla grip on your thigh as he watches you jerk him off to his release, he engraves it in his brain as it pushes him to his orgasm. Iwaizumi cums with a silent scream and throws his head back. He paints your hand with his cum. When he looks in the mirror again, you are smiling at him like he's the best thing that has ever happened in your life.
"Did you mean everything you said, [Name]?"
"Of course, Haji, why wouldn't I?"
"Especially the last part?"
"I only speak facts, babe"
Iwaizumi smiles as he grabs your face and crashes his lips against yours. Both of you collapsed on the bed, giggling and clinging to each other.
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You found it magical that no matter the stress Akaashi Keiji as an editor or a shōnen manga magazine, he manages to look so pretty. It seemed like the stress barely affected him at all. Your boyfriend was one of the underrated hardworking editors in his department, he may not have continued volleyball after high school, but he was contented with his life.
— ♬ Akaashi Keiji
You and Akaashi have been together for long enough to be fairly involved in each other's lives. Being with Akaashi meant you have met his best friend, Bokuto Koutaro. Bokuto was a sweetheart, he was the former captain/teammate of Akaashi's and now a professional volleyball player.
Akaashi liked Bokuto very much, he looked up to him and cared about his well-being a lot. Today on his day off, he and Bokuto decided to hang out. They went jogging, he realized that he wasn't as physically active as he was in high school. They went to Onigiri Miya for breakfast, almost everyone approached Bokuto for an autograph or picture. They barely had a conversation because of the fans flooding in to meet him, and Bokuto was too kind to reject them. They ended up in Akaashi's apartment, it was a hot afternoon so both of them lounged in front of the fan, shirtless and watching a movie.
Akaashi subtly gazed at Bokuto's carefully sculpted body and looked at his slightly chubby tummy. Akaashi frowned, it was true that he barely had time to do some exercises or workouts because of how busy he was lately. Before he could stop himself, he began comparing himself to his best friend. He wondered how the hell did you end up with him, who was barely anyone special. He's just a guy you happened to fall in love with you.
Bokuto left later before you arrived. Akaashi decided to block out the insecure thoughts by finishing his work on his laptop. You notice how he was ignoring you when you got home, he looked frustrated when you checked on him. When you call him to eat dinner, he doesn't respond. You enter his office and approach him, but he won't let go of his laptop. You scowled and dragged him out of his office chair, he got out of your hold and sat down on the couch in front of the mirror. He was stressed, so you decided to help him.
"[Name]? What the-huh?!"
You settled behind him and unbuttoned his pants, he gasped when you pulled down his pants to his thighs. Your hand slipped into his boxers and grabbed his cock.
"[Name]"
Akaashi stuttered your name. You shush him by pulling his dick out of his boxers, his breath hitched. His eyes trailed to the mirror and watched the pornographic sight of you giving him a handjob, his heartbeat rings in his ears as he continued watching.
"[Name], please stop"
"Why, Keiji?"
"I-I..."
"What's wrong, babe?"
"...Why did you fall in love with me, [Name]?"
You chuckled and planted a soft kiss on his neck, Akaashi shivered when you continued to jerk him off.
"Because you're wonderful, Keiji"
"You're so handsome, hardworking, and kindhearted"
Akaashi wanted to protest, to deny that what you're saying was wrong because he doesn't feel special. Until you started massaging his balls.
"You're so fucking special, Keiji. I've never met someone like you in my life and there's no way I'm letting you go"
"Nobody has ever fucked me good after the first date"
An embarrassed blush rises on Akaashi's cheeks as he recalled the memory of fucking you all night after his first date with you. Slowly, he lets himself melt against your touch. He allows himself to be consumed by the pleasure. With lidded eyes, Akaashi watched you stroke his cock through the mirror as you peppered his neck with kisses.
"I fucking love you so much, Keiji"
The way his heart leaps out of his chest when you started pumping his dick faster causes a loud moan to slip past his lips. You smirk as you showered him with praises against his ear, effectively banishing the insecurity out of his head, and replacing it with your love and pure pleasure.
"[Name], gonna cum!"
"Go on, cum for me, pretty boy"
With that command, Akaashi comes undone. He shuts his eyes as cum messily spurts on his boxers and your hands. You give him a loving kiss against his temple.
"Go clean up, I'll wait for you at the table, darling"
Before you can leave the room, Akaashi grabs your hand. You look at your boyfriend filled with sweat, breathless, and with glasses crooked, he smiles widely at you.
"I fucking love you too, [Name]"
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©kitasgloves (do not steal or copy)
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a-dinosaur-a-day · 9 months
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Mammal bias is esp rampant in the pet community. I've had pet reptiles and spiders/tarantulas since I was about 10 and being told right to me face that the animals I cared for and cherished were gross and weird and some even "jokingly" staid they would gladly stomp on.
Nothing against dogs and cats but if you wouldn't say that about someone's dog or cat why would you say that to anyone who loves their pets?
Yup yup yup. Honestly, I've always known mammal bias was a thing, and when I majored in biology it was shoved down my throat, but I kind of figured its scope was limited or not really that damaging until I got my pet birds.
Apartments list themselves as pet friendly, but they only ever mean cats and dogs (and good luck trying to find ones that have other pets listed as okay online - same for temporary lodging)
Vets are usually only trained in cats and dogs, and it is impossible to find vets for other species close by - sometimes, at all - fish literally are done a major disservice alone
Homes and group living areas like townhouses, apartment buildings, etc. are not built with the safety of non-catdog pets in mind. How many have linked ventilation systems, which would endanger birds to emissions from other homes?
Service animals can only be dogs. Because dogs were literally bred to be our obedient servants. Never mind that other animals are more intelligent, and can also be trained. Just dogs.
Heck, cats and dogs even form a binary! Are you a cat lover or a dog lover? If you say neither, you get weird looks, and are accused of hating animals! Even though that's only two animals out of the billions!
And of course there's the death threats. Whether its someone threatening to kill someone's pet tarantula, to stomp on their snake, or eat their chicken, that just comes up again and again.
Cats and Dogs are elevated to essentially human status, because they are companion animals in our society and seen as part of the family. But no one can fathom that other pets are seen as family, too, that we'd like the same level of care and respect given to them.
like take this example: many people suggest eating non-cat/dog pets on the internet, and they're hardly ever called out or criticized. "It's just a joke!" and all that. Never mind these pets are beloved animals, and not actually a threat to anyone. Meanwhile, outdoor cats are actively causing ecological collapse. But if you suggest any form of aggressive population control - not of people's pets, of feral cats - you get called a monster. These aren't even beloved animals, just the *concept* of a cat is enough to make people lose their heads. this is a blatant double standard. an actively damaging double standard.
anyways if you want a non cat/dog pet remember to research vets and housing rules for your area before you accidentally screw yourself.
I would be remiss if I didn't add an afterthought that while small mammal pets and other mammals other than cats and dogs do have better vet treatment and some other benefits thanks to mammal bias, they often face similar struggles, and this hierarchy for pets really has cats and dogs on a pedestal lording over everyone else - including rabbits, hamsters, and especially mice and rats, and all other mammal pets as well as pets in other groups.
I hate cat-dog supremacy so much it sends me into a blind rage. Like, there isn't a 24-hr emergency vet for birds within three hours of me. I either have to drive that long or wait till my (hour away!) daytime vet opens up if I have an emergency. Birds can bleed out fast. This is just negligence. And there are so many animals, not only birds, that have been bred for captivity and rely on us. It is irresponsible and cruel that we designate them second-class pet...izens.
oof, you probably didn't expect this long of a ramble, I'll leave it off there.
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circinuus · 11 months
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アイドル !!
I messed around with the singer au! Chuuya bot and I had an epiphany. A rockstar! Chuuya with a (closeted fan) idol! reader.
Chuuya is a senior in the industry, and you're the newcomer of the year. Your debut was received very well, and your popularity exploded! Your first single (the song wasn't written by you, by the way. Your agency doesn't let idols write and release their own songs unless it's a solo project) was quick to climb the popularity chart.
Due to this, you're invited to perform at a huge joint concert with big artists in the region. Nervous? Absolutely! You're so high-strung by the pressure that you entered the wrong dressing room. And not just any dressing room, it's the Nakahara Chuuya's! The rock star you've been secretly adoring. Secretly? Why? Well, you aren't ready to let everyone know about the multiple posters and vinyl in your room, and idols are not supposed to like rough music, right? Their love is supposed to be only reserved for their fans.
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That was the plan.
Before you realize it, you're blabbering about how much of a fan you are, and how amazing of a lyricist he is. Surprised by your own vivacity, you bow in embarrassment and get ready to depart for your own performance, so that you don't bother his time longer. Instead, he said, "It's okay. Thank you very much for liking my music."
"No, thank you for the wonderful songs! I want to be able to write and perform good songs like you, one day," you replied
The backstage crew calls you for a briefing, and you bow down with a polite 'sorry' and 'see you!' as the Nakahara Chuuya mouths good luck.
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Hours pass! Your performance—which came right after Chuuya's—evoked a strong positive reaction! The audience cheers and chants, "Encore!" You were very overwhelmed, you almost ran into the audio mixer on your way backstage. It didn't help that most of the other guest artists congratulates you on your debut in a huge regional concert—Chuuya included.
"Did you write that song?" he asked. And you said, "No, but I'd want to perform my own song, one day."
He raises a curious brow, "You've written one?" Then you answered with a sheepish, "Yes. But it's nothing nearly as good as yours."
Maybe the Nakahara Chuuya pitied how much of a mess you are. Or maybe he saw potential in your talent. Life in the showbiz business is tough, and you are much too excited. He ended up offering you some pointers if you're willing to accept them. Duh, stupid question. One thing leads to another, and turns out Chuuya makes a good friend! He told you about the bright and dim sides of the industry, offering you constructive criticisms for your demos, and even better, encouraging your confidence. Words are soon circulating in the agency that you are to have your own solo single project, one with a song you wrote yourself!
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But things can't always be sunshine and rainbows, can't it?
The situation went downhill when a photo of you and Chuuya sitting in a cafe spread on the internet. The good rumors about your solo project are dampened by a nasty line plastered in gossip columns: "Hit Rock Star Nakahara Chuuya And Emerging Idol [Name Surname] Involved In A Scandal?!" Your agency and his label are having a hard time suppressing the media, and you can't stop blaming yourself as an idol, for burdening your idol. The stress of disappointing your fans doesn't make things better, despite those rumors not being true.
Things get quiet after around half a year, and you've cut all contact with the rock star Nakahara Chuuya. Your solo project has been released. It was well-received, although not as grandeur as your first debut in the industry. The most pleasant surprise was when you received a message from a contact you'd never opened for months. 'Congratulations on the release of your solo project. You've come a long way.' Nakahara Chuuya sent. You smiled at your phone and things went fine, until you find an inconspicuous stranger backstage. In the darkness, you can't make out his face nor the thing he is holding in his right hand...
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hngg this needs more polishing but my brain is finally, frantically, braining again. oshi no ko fever is real you guys.
♡ @ashthemadwriter
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cellu-lightreading · 5 months
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Pure Greed
It was all a coincidence really. Jamie's friends took him on a vacation, and a few drunken afternoons produced a flurry of content of him shirtless on his socials. He was twerking on the beach and eating all kinds of food. As he watched it back, he was a little embarrassed. The internet isn't usually kind to guys like him with double chins that eclipse their necks and waistlines wider than adults are tall. When he checked his phone and saw that his phone was blowing up, he was nervous that trolls had come to attack him. That's not what he found. 
Hundreds of likes materialized overnight with a comments section overflowing with support and love. Not exactly body positivity comments, more swarming sexual admirers. There were heart eyes and eggplants and peaches. They said they liked his soft gut and his giant dimpled ass. They were drooling over how much he could eat instead of criticizing all the junk he was stuffing in his mouth. 
At breakfast, Jamie decided to share the phenomenon on his post. No one could quite explain how these legions managed to find him of all people, but one friend had one idea of why they were so obsessed with him. 
"They're called feeders or encouragers." Brandon said "When they see a big fat guy not promising to lose weight, they're like moths to a flame. You filming yourself stuffing yourself is like porn to them."
"How do you know all of this?" Jamie asked. 
"'Cause they swarm the comments of all my favorite fitness influencers going on a dirty bulk in the winter. They go rabid watching a dude's abs melt away for a few months and then get disappointed and disappear in the spring when it's time to cut. Actually, this is a pretty good opportunity for you if you play your cards right. These guys will literally throw money at you just for being fat. Now that they've slashed your hours at work, you can probably string these guys along to keep the bills paid."
"I don't know how I feel about selling my body."
"You're not exactly doing porn. You don't even really have to get naked. All you have to do is be fat and get fatter."
"Get fatter? I just clocked in at 375 the other week! I can't afford to get bigger!"
"Considering we're the ones paying for your stay this weekend, I'd argue that you can't afford not to get bigger."
A few days after getting home, Jamie decided to give making content a try. He wasn't really sure what to do so he started with something basic every influencer did nowadays: a get ready with me video. He started the video from bed, letting the people see him heave his body out from under the covers. He slept shirtless normally so that might be something. He showed himself buttoning up his uniform shirt around his large frame and hoisting his pants around his thighs. He got a little self-conscious thinking about the ways his clothes tended to get stuck around his folds and how tight they looked in places. He pushed the thought away and started on breakfast. Normally, he didn't eat all that much for breakfast, at least not compared to his other meals. He didn't really get that hungry in the morning, preferring to keep things simple with some toaster waffles and bacon. He thought half the box of waffles was pretty moderate considering how small they were; there were only ten in the box to begin with. After licking up the syrup, Jamie ended the video with a wave and a smile hoping he was enticing enough. 
Jamie closed the app out and forgot about it. Work usually kept him very occupied, so there wasn't a lot of time to check his phone. It was only at the end of the day when he got a call from Brandon that he thought to open the app at all.
"I'm genuinely curious: you really call five waffles and half a pack of bacon a light breakfast?" he asked Jamie incredulously. 
"Yeah? I'm usually not quite full after that."
"Oh it's no wonder they're reacting well to this."
"How well?"
"Like two thousand likes plus a never ending stream of comments."
"No way!"
"Yeah and this comments section...honestly is pretty obscene. I definitely feel like some of these would make you uncomfortable, but still no fatphobic trolls so that's a win. People are definitely fans of you. They think you are the sexiest thing ever."
"I still can't believe this is a thing."
"It is absolutely a thing and it is happening to you. Lots of people hoping you'll keep making content, and you're already getting people offering to pay for you to eat stuff. I honestly feel like you should show them what you normally eat before you do all that."
"But I'm hurting now. The cash would be good to have now. You have no idea what I can do with that kind of money."
"I think I’m starting to." He said to himself. Then he asked, "Aren't you the same guy who was nervous about putting yourself out on the internet?"
"I am, but $40 is $40. I go through a lot of money in food and things like that. It would be pretty neat if I really could get a little help around here."
"Well, how does this sound? Take the offer, go have a good time. Don't deny yourself anything for the next month. Every time you want something, have it. You don't have to push yourself, just show off your normal life- and get it on film."
Jamie accepted the challenge. He took pictures and videos of every time he ate. Within the first week, Brandon was shocked to find out just how much food went towards keeping Jamie as big as he was. When he said breakfast was light, he wasn't kidding. He was ingesting thousands of calories just from the vending machine while he worked at his desk. One night he ate an entire party-size lasagna by himself and then remarked that "he still had a little space left, maybe dessert would finally top him off." He went to his freezer, grabbed a pint of ice cream he filled with all sorts of treats and toppings and ate it until he was licking the container. The scariest part to Brandon was that most of his videos felt like a confessional; no one was supposed to know all the eating he does, especially not the people in his real life- i.e. Brandon. Jamie was increasingly comfortable admitting to his new internet friends all of his favorite treats and tricks. That's how Brandon found out people put crushed Doritos on pizzas. 
By the time their little challenge was ending, Jamie was on camera complaining how his jeans were getting a little tight. When the two of them met up at a function for a mutual friend, the conversation quickly veered off toward their project.
"You know, I had a lot of fun following your advice in the last month. I don't know when was the last time I got to have so much fun guilt free."
"Really?" Brandon asked. He thought back to a video where Jamie went back to a restaurant after their friend group left to have a second round of food. "I'm glad you've got a new space to do that now."
"Yeah, and the fans are really getting into it. They've got all kinds of food suggestions and the money never stops pouring in. They've been really supportive.”
"Speaking of ‘supportive’, how to put this delicately, has it gotten any harder for some of the things around you to physically support you and your new hobby?"
"Is this your coded way of asking me if I gained weight?"
"Yeah, I'm trying not to be really rude about it in public."
"It's fine. But it has gotten a little harder to wear anything with buttons, nothing wants to close anymore. I've easily put on 15 pounds, maybe even a whole 20."
"20 pounds in a month is pretty fast."
"That's why I was so nervous to start this. My body is an expert at putting on weight."
"So I see. Do you think you'll cut back down to something a little more manageable or-"
"No, I don't think the fans will like that too tough. That's like the one thing that gets them really jumpy. Every time I bring up the word diet or cutting, the comments get flooded with messages about how beautiful I am at this size and begging me not to lose weight."
"And this doesn't concern you at all?"
"I mean at the end of the day, they are people on the internet and this is my body. I get the final say on decisions I make with my body. I can always just lose the weight, right?"
"But it doesn't bother you that people are begging you to get fatter?"
"Honestly, no." Jamie laughed. "Like it sounds weird, but I kind of enjoy it. I mean, look at me. With no extra effort on my part, I gained 20 pounds in a month. If I'm going to keep getting fatter, I might as well do it with people who appreciate me this way."
"If you say so. As long as you're okay with it."
"Yeah, it's fine. All this talking about the channel is making me hungry though and I know I smelled something good earlier. What do you say we check out the snack situation?"
Sooner than expected by all, Jamie was planning on celebrating his first gainer milestone- 400 pounds. Jamie was a little surprised at the number, but his reaction surprised himself more. For a while, the idea of reaching the 400s was enough to send him into a crash diet of nothing but carrots and celery for a couple of weeks until a strong craving hit him right when he was starving. His willpower would fall apart in dramatic style, and his weight would continue its upward trajectory. This time, Jamie accepted it. It was shocking to know he had reached it with so little effort on his part. He expected to reach the 400s in the holidays, not from an extra trip to the vending machine at work. In fact, he didn't feel that much bigger crossing over the line. 
While Jamie might not be excited, his followers were very excited to get the news. They begged to see him step on the scale and watch the magic number appear and sent some extra money to celebrate the accomplishment.. When Jamie saw how big the donations were, he knew he had to try to do something special.  He had exactly one idea, but it made him a little nervous.
"So to... celebrate 400 pounds, I thought I would treat you all to a little sneak peak behind the scenes of the real life behind the fat man. This stuff annoys me, but you all seem to love it so I think you'll have a fun time. These are 4 of my big fat problems." 
Jamie started off by showing his followers the pile of clothes he couldn't bring himself to get rid of. Every article of clothing in the pile was something he had destroyed just from being too fat. Shirts with the buttons popped off, belts where the buckle had been torn off, pants where his thighs had worn down the fabric from rubbing together all the time while he was walking and waddling everywhere, and everything where a seam ripped in defeat from holding back too much fat. More embarrassing than how he knew he was never going to fit back in those sizes, was how he had destroyed those clothes so no one else would ever get to wear them either. Trying to get them fixed would mean admitting that he had done all that damage to these clothes. To complete the exercise, Jamie put on an outfit from the bottom of the pile that looked smaller than he last remembered. The sweatpants were once the pants when he was too bloated to fit his normal clothes until his thighs made a heart shaped hole around the crotch. Years later, he could hardly get them around his legs. The fabric still felt delicate around the inside of his thighs, thin enough that he could practically feel the skin on tthe other leg through his pants. When he made the mistake of reaching for a shirt on the ground, the pants ripped apart all the way up to his ass. Jamie decided that was enough. 
Number 2 was in his dining room. Jamie had a set of chairs that used to be his favorites in the house. He keeps them hidden now because he had two of them collapse under his weight in one night in the middle of a party. He won't use any of them anymore to save himself the embarrassment of using a chair that doesn't match. It doesn't hurt that even if he wanted to sit in one now, the arms on the chair are so narrow that he wouldn't be able to fit his ass in between. Jamie knew his followers would want the painful proof, so he gently lowered his rear end into one. First came the pinch of the arms skewering his doughy flesh, but the more he tried to unload his body in the seat, the more the arms relented against his flesh until they snapped off. With the arms no longer in the way to help slow down the inevitable, all of Jamie’s body plopped in the chair. The chair immediately protested with a loud symphony of moans and creaks. Jamie thought he might be safe from the ultimate embarrassment. He breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back in the chair. Before Jamie could even process what was happening, the chair disintegrated into splinters underneath him. 
Number 3 was deceptively simple: tying his shoes. It took so much effort to do every morning that Jamie actively dreaded the idea that they would get undone during the day. With a large gut permanently sitting in the middle of his body, reaching all the way around to his feet was a challenge. Every day he would try in vain to reach over his belly to tug on his shoes. Getting it done often required contorting his body into ridiculous shapes to bring his leg closer. When he was done, it often left him breathless and tired enough that he considered slides for the rest of his life. 
The last segment of his video involved going jogging outside. In the early spring, the weather was a fairly mild temperature, but you wouldn't be able to tell from looking at Jamie. Jamie purposefully made it short- just one lap around his cul-de-sac.  There was no delusion that he would go far when this would already be one of his longest runs in years. He recorded how his tits and ass and belly all bounced around with every footfall. By the time he was back at his house, Jamie was wheezing and panting. His shirt was wet all over and his face was drenched in sweat. Just a few yards had the ability to completely destroy him. With that, Jamie decided that he had enough. 
Jamie posted and it was a runaway success. All around the clock, Jamie was getting comments online. They cheered him on and told him how beautiful they thought he was. They weren't afraid to tell him just how hot that video was to them. The more comments he read, the more assured he felt that he made the right decision. Why be ashamed of something that made everyone love him more? Maybe this was where he belonged all along. His followers tripled within two weeks. He promised his followers that he would eat whatever they paid for. Jamie tried to sweeten the pot for them too, "If you look back in the archive, you all can tell what kind of guy you're working with when I make promises like that. I eat all sorts of junk and stuff myself whenever I get a chance. I'm also probably not going to burn all of that exercising. If my last video didn't make it clear enough, cardio is not something that has a regular place in my life. So feel at ease, knowing your money is going to a very good cause." Jamie gave his stomach a couple of pats for the camera. 
Suddenly, money started coming in like a water hose. Money was coming into his account, gift cards were getting sent to his email, and presents were showing up at his door. Jamie had full-on supporters now. They were all in, engaging with him whenever he wanted to be there. If he was considering being lazy or having a little extra dessert, someone was always there within seconds to tell him to do it. If he wasn't sure about finishing his meal, there was always a little encouragement waiting for him in his messages. 
His new supporters also came with a bit more edge. They were more willing to speak their mind about the kinds of food he should be eating: fattier, more flavorful, more. They introduced him to shakes; they gave him new concoctions to try to actively help push a few more pounds onto his already very generous frame. It was a new step for him to take. All this time, he hadn't been trying to gain, the weight had found him from trying to have fun. This had all been an adventure in people enjoying who he already was. The last 25 pounds were already a big shock for him, what would happen if he really opened the floodgates and started actively gaining weight? What would people say?   
Nothing he hadn't heard before, something deep inside told him. It was scary to admit, but people had been comfortable saying all kinds of crazy things to him about his size for a long time. 400 might have been a new threshold of big, but he'd been fat enough to draw the ire of folks for hundreds of pounds now. The stares, the jokes, the dire warnings of health concerns, and the snide remarks were already fixtures in his regular life. No one would care if he put on a little more weight, they had already written him off as fat. The only person's opinion that matters is his own...and he was having fun. 
Jamie made a video taste testing some gainer shake recipes for the very first time. His mouth watered watching all these delicious ingredients get added to the blender. He chugged one after another before he came to the realization that each one of those glasses was the calorie equivalent of a full day's eating. "Maybe I overdid it," he admitted on camera.  The comments assured him he was on the right path. 
One evening a few months later, Jamie was meeting up with his friends to celebrate a birthday. He was trying to inhale the rest of the McDonald's he had picked up on the way in his car. When he heard a tap on his window, he was startled. Brandon was leering in. Jamie rolled down the window. 
"Jamie, are you actually eating in the parking lot of a restaurant that you're about to enter?"
Jamie looked to the pile of food on the passenger seat and accepted lying was not an option. "Yes."
"Oh my God." 
"Look, I know this isn't the best look, but I had to do something. My appetite has been growing a lot lately-"
"From the amount of stretching your stomach's been doing for the channel."
"-and I don't want to pig out at every meal that I have in public. I already eat more than everyone else, I don't need to keep adding fuel to the fire. You and I both know they really only tolerate all of this," Jamie jiggled his belly, "because we've been friends for such a long time."
"Yeah, but you've got to admit that this is getting out of hand. You've gained like a hundred pounds in the last year or so, and when you started this you were worried about how big you already were."
"But when I started this, I was also deeply insecure about the idea of even showing my body in public. Now I have people in my life who are genuinely excited about me doing the things I love the most and are happy to see me be me."
"I'm not sure this is you guiding you along. Feels a little more like the tail wagging the dog. "
"Brandon, you know my life better than anyone at this point. I want you to think back to my videos. Have you ever seen me this happy in my life?"
"No. I want to say I have, but I haven't."
"Exactly. Believe me when I tell you that I'm okay. I'm enjoying myself. I'm in control of the situation. I wouldn't still be doing this if I didn't like it."
"Okay, but I think you should know you're starting to get to the deep end of all this stuff. I'm not going to be able to help you so much as you keep growing."
Jamie didn't take that as a warning at the time. He was more than content to catch up on Brandon's life while he ate. He had dessert after dinner and a midnight snack. Jamie kept on, knocking back gainer shakes like it was water.  The only thing that gave him pause came while he was on the watch out to hit 500. Jamie went to his manager after his desk chair broke in a second place in one month. It had been a bit of a fight to get them to give him a big and tall chair in the first place back when he was cresting 300 and breaking it was not going to lead to a pleasant conversation. 
"Look, I understand that we live in a body positive society now and the company is really trying to work on being more inclusive, but this is too much. We can't keep doing this. It might be easier to swallow the fact that you are now too big for a big and tall chair if it wasn't clear to everyone that you're also spending more time eating in your work day than actually working. Every paper that crosses your desk leaves with crumbs and grease stains and your numbers are slipping to the point that you're now last in the division. It's time for you to go."
Suddenly, Jamie was back in a crisis all over again. This time, though, he already had a lifeline. Donations had reached a fever pitch in the past few weeks and it was only going to keep increasing. The only real problem was that Brandon wasn't going to be able to help him find a new avenue to expand his business. Jamie turned to his followers, telling them all of his woes with the hope a savior would emerge. 
He got another warning in his direct messages from another gainer. "Be careful what you wish for. The bigger you get, the more you're going to find people who are serious about this. The dark end of this community will drag you in if you're not prepared to handle it. There are guys who will keep pitching in with a meal or two, and guys who will take over your life." 
That was what we had in mind when he met with Tom. Tom was a slender man who wore a dark suit and a sly smile. Tom had watched his videos since the very beginning. The bigger he got, the more active he had become in the comments. 
"It's such a pleasure to get to meet you in person. I wish it was under different circumstances."
'Well these don't have to be sad either.”
“I didn’t say they were sad; I only wish they were different. I think every man of your… stature should be excited by the prospect of leaving your job to spend the rest of your days eating and having a good time.”
“Well I don’t know if it’ll be the rest of my days.”
“I can’t imagine after this little experiment you’ll be begging to be back working a 9 to 5.”
“I can’t imagine I’ll enjoy being unemployed.”
“It’ll help when you stop thinking of yourself as unemployed and more as a full-time content creator.”
“Right…what's the catch?”
A few months later, Jamie was living in the lap of luxury. Tom hired someone to come around every day to take care of chores and get him whatever food he wanted. (Tom had also hired him to ensure that food was now always within arms reach and Jamie did as little physical labor as possible.He would get a bonus ever time he could sneak in appetite stimulant or weight gain shakes into his diet) Jamie spent the first couple weeks just testing his new helper on the lengths they would go for his every craving. He never found something he wanted that wouldn’t show up for him in multiple greasy bags ready to be devoured. Catering pans filled with burritos or lasagna would show up whenever he wanted. 
Jamie was glad for the extra hands around the house because it meant he could devote all his time to his favorite hobbies. He could binge watch shows and play video games for days. The internet would graciously supply him with any kind of entertainment to keep his mind distracted while giant bags of chips disappeared into his maw. 
The best part, Jamie thought, was having Tom around. All the nagging voices of his coworkers were replaced with Tom’s. He would come over when he got a break or after work, usually toting a bag filled with Jamie’s favorite treats. While Jamie shamelessly licked his fingers and the bag for every morsel, Tom would whisper into his ears how sexy he found him. He would tell Jamie how proud he was every time he found fresh fat and stretch marks while he caressed his body. Whenever Jamie got nervous and embarrassed about outgrowing clothes, Tom would celebrate and order in the finest meals he could find. Tom had transformed unemployment into being the best thing that ever happened to him. 
Time slipped away and pounds piled on. The bubble of indulgence burst when Brandon paid Jamie a surprise visit. The helper opened the door slightly and Brandon barged in. 
“Jamie, I think there’s something you should- dear Lord! What the hell?” Brandon took in the full extent of Jamie’s new level of obesity. He would check in on videos occasionally, but months had passed since he last saw him in person.  “The camera really doesn’t do justice on how big you look.”
“That’s what Tim says too. He says I’ll waste away if I’m not careful.” Jamie let out a nervous chuckle that shook his bean bag sized belly. 
“Brandon, do you know how much Tim is keeping from you? Do you even know how much you weigh?”
“Well I got fired around 500 and we just did a milestone video not too long ago, so I figure I should be in the early 600s.”
“That milestone video was for 700 and that was six months ago.”
“Well time sort of gets away from you when you don’t have to be at work five days a week. But I’m making the best out of the situation. I’ve got great TV and these delicious snacks that honestly taste like butter and sugar.”
“It probably is just lard and sugar,” Jamie said. “And this isn’t raising any red flags for you? Aren’t you worried about fitting through doors anymore?”
“Not since we widened them all. I had a few incidents where I got stuck.”
“A few?”
“Well the first time, I thought it was a freak accident, but then it kept happening and each time it was harder for me to get out. There was one time Tim was going to grease me up to get me out the door with some butter, but I had already eaten it all during a feeding session.”
“And again, you’re okay with all this? A man just emerges from the internet and you let him feed you off a cliff?”
“Honestly, it didn’t take as much convincing as you might think. Tim has this belief that just some people were born to be fat and that’s it. That being fat is our role to play in the world. And like I probably could’ve gone into the job market and fought for another boring job I don’t even like just to make ends meet, but my other option was to be perfectly fine doing exactly what I want to do. I enjoy eating and lounging around all day and the more I do it, the bigger I get, the more money I make to spend on food and fun stuff. Outgrowing clothes, furniture, my car- it’s all just a part of my life at this size. It’s been a part of my life for years now, decades almost. And the price to pay- the stuff that my doctors used to say to scare me- I’ve made my peace with it. I’ve spent too much trying to be scared by it already. One more cake isn’t going to make the difference.”
“Give up, he’s already made up his mind.” Tim said, emerging without warning. “This is who he is now. He’s settled completely into a life of being fed and pampered. Now all he wants in life is to keep growing for me and his subscribers. That strong-willed guy you used to know is gone. He’s accepted life as a fat boy. .’
The doorbell rang. The caretaker opened the door and in came a man in a polo with a gigantic grease stained brown paper bag. The smell of all kinds of food filled the house. Jamie looked at Brandon who was licking his lips. Brandon couldn’t contain his excitement. Brandon said, stunned, “This is really your life now. This is what fills your life with happiness. Do you even have any of your mobility left?”
“Of course I do. Look, I’ll go fetch my mid-afternoon snack from the kitchen myself.”
“Snack?”
Brandon rocked back and forth, trying to get some momentum. For a brief second, he made it off the chair. Then the momentum switched directions. The weight of a family of four slammed into the sofa. The wooden frame underneath let out a scream before the whole left side broke into pieces. 
“Are you okay?” Tim yelled out. 
“Let me help you back up.” Jamie stretched out his hands. 
“No, I can get up by myself.” Brandon tried the trick again. He rocked back and forth and hauled himself up with a mighty groan. Breathlessly, he said, “I told you I could do it.”  
Brandon waddled slowly towards the kitchen. Every thunderous step shook the house, rattling anything not nailed down. It was hypnotizing watching the dimpled folds of his body pillow-sized thighs brush past each other. His gut swung like a pendulum back and forth out of the bottom of his shirt. Every movement made his shirt slide further up his belly until it was blocked by his chest. The sound of his panting was hard to ignore as it grew louder. It didn’t seem like a long distance from the sofa to the kitchen counter, but when Brandon got there, it was like he had completed a marathon. Everyone was stunned by the sight, except for Brandon. 
“All of this is for me, right?” Brandon said, catching his breath, “I’ve been hungry since I finished my second round of lunch an hour ago.”  Brandon tore apart the bag and stuffed a fistful of seasoned fries into his mouth while he rifled through the containers. 
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thesirencult · 6 months
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BRINGING DOWN OTHERS IS LOW VALUE
Today I had the joy of getting a message from a nice young lady who wanted to thank me for my advice and sweetly asked me if I wanted to be friends with her ❤️
This made me understand that having a platform may be a way to share our individual opinions but we should have in mind that, especially on Tumblr, many people come across our content and we have responsibility to correctly and ethically influence them by adding value to their lives.
So, I want to thank every single one of you for following me and sending sweet messages. All 1,205 of you. We are a small corner on the internet and I don't care about appearing "mysterious" and "unapproachable" to my digital friends.
If you have a question/a content suggestion or just want to say "Hi!" don't be shy and use my AMA or private messages. I'll try to answer to all of you.
Also, thank you for being patient with me as I'm finishing up with this exam season and have not posted anything in the past few days. A few of you reached out for tarot readings and a birth chart analysis and we got even closer, so thank you for trusting me with your time, money, hopes and wishes!
I asked the young lady if she wanted me to write a post about something specific or if she had any content suggestions. She told me that she wanted my opinion on "pick-me" girls who bring other women down. She added that it would be interesting to "know how do this girls think". Your wish is my command young lady!
Shall we start ?
After you queens... 👑
Have you noticed something? People who are high value and successful are always eager to extend their hand to other people full of passion and ambition. They become mentors and leaders for other women and men. They set the standard by example. Usually these people are kind hearted, yet know how and when to set boundaries.
All in all, they don't bring other people down, they build them up.
This women and men build ladders for others to climb at the top with them but they know, they have to protect themselves and their loved ones from vultures, because someone can bring you down even if you are thousand meters above them. They just have to pull the rug underneath your feet.
Someone who is high, won't try to lower someone else's value. Someone who is low is not accustomed to the loneliness of the top. They want to surround themselves with other low value individuals to feel powerful. That's the pack mentality and that's why mean girls/boys hang in crowds.
We all had that "friend". She was insecure but always downplayed. She was always jealous of other people and you could see it but you never thought she was jealous of you. Why would she be? When you talked about your crush/business idea/ambitions it was always : "Ew he is ugly.", "Who are you Elon Musk?", "A law degree? You don't even know how to think critically.".
That friend and you fell apart when you started investing in yourself, and that's when the veil fell off and you saw other girls like that.
The pick-me girls.
A couple days ago, I had a "History Of Economic Thought" exam (It's a very interesting topic to research and if a similar class is available to you, I suggest that you take it!). It was the last one I had to take in person.
I felt awful, anxious and tired. Two weeks of hard work, studying everyday, staying up till light came through the blinds and commuting two hours back and forth to and from school had made me emotionally and mentally tired. I needed some loving from my cat Mr. Mau and a toffee nut latte.
I did my 10k steps by the sea and decided to open up Pinterest and make myself feel a bit better. I searched up "fall aesthetic", "studying aesthetic", "toffee nut latte from Starbucks" etc.
Under a pin there was this comment by a girl calling all women who are "obsessed" with fall, Starbucks and cute photos of pumpkins, "silly a** basic white b*tches".
I then went on TikTok and came across a video of a woman who was being shamed for having a 35k engagement ring (you know which one I'm talking about, the one her man, an amazing king ate the interviewer up and left no crumbs). A woman had commented "she is a gold digger and when he cheats on her with a good woman she'll get what she deserves".
Excuse me what ? So a good woman is one who tries to please others by accepting less than she deserves. I'm not one who would want a 35k engagement ring, buy me a 3k one and 32k of gold for investment purposes, but if her men believed she deserved that, then so be it.
Why are you trying to get picked? Do you think men marry the good girl? Do you think any man who will only see you as an innocent, precious lovely angel will be able to take all of you?
These women are playing a dangerous game. They so badly want to get picked and mostly they get picked but for all the wrong reasons. They love how guys on podcasts praise them online for being "feminine". They love the attention of boys who find them cool.
Sweetheart, you need a man who will find your rage and your sweetness sacred.
You need parents who will understand that you have your own dreams, needs and that you are not just an extension of their egos.
These women and the so-called "good guys" (uhh don't let me get started on those") are sad inside. They would love to have your own wildness and freedom. They feel jealous that you are still that magical bitch holding your pumpkin spice latte with a fresh new set and while doing kick boxing on Wednesday afternoon.
Girls, watch some Legally Blonde. It's the literal blueprint 😉 It made me come to terms with my girly nature as a girl who grew up a tomboy.
You don't have to be just bubbly and feminine. You don't have to be just a dark feminine, femme fatale. You can be all of those things because we are multilayered beings. Lastly, we have the gift of metamorphosis. Don't be afraid to transform and break the mold.
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isa-loves-you · 8 months
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How you meet and realizing you like them | The group chat.
I love the GC and I like reading Fics about them, so I want to contribute. This is my first-time doing publishing on Tumblr, so it probably won't be the most organized. I am open to criticism or requests. I desperately need guidance.
This is going to be broken up into different parts because this was originally almost 5,000 words but tumbler will only let me post so much at a time.
-Isaac-
you had met isaac back in 2020 when you and some friends decided to go into discord servers and expose pedos. your friend had told you to hop on a server thinking it was with creeps but ended up being a couple of people doing the same thing as you. you all had a laugh and traded information on which servers had what type of weirdos were in. After that night you and isaac had messaged each other here and there about being in his discord videos which you had no problem with due to want to collab with other youtubers, and some years later asked you to be apart of a group with him and your guys mutual friends called the group chat.
Sometime had passed and you, isaac, tanner, larry, nick, yumi, and grunk all made a podcast and even moved into one big house all together. You had decided to stream watching random videos on the internet and just generally talk with chat. " I know that we've been watching meme comps chat but we need to add some spice to our night or I feel empty handed when I end the stream.... well besides leaving with your hard earned money that you donated i'll be empty handed". After saying that everyone started to type anything and everything that came to their minds, but something caught your eye "Have you or isaac read the fic about yall??" you said reading the chatter's comment. You immediately start googling for what this insane person was talking about, and after muttering to yourself about why isaac and you of all people out of the group you find it. "I'm sorry to chat but i need to know and besides one of you recommend it" you start reading it out loud. The story read of you and Isaac slowly falling for each other. "Chat who made this, I want you to reveal yourself so you can be shunned from the village" you bursted out with laughter at some of the parts in the fic but you had to admit, this author knew too much. yeah it's true that you started to like isaac but you knew nothing could ever happen because you work together but you have to admit he had a nice physic and was extremely funny, but still nothing could ever happen. After 30 more minutes of stream you decided to end the stream because you were getting too red from laughter and embarrassment from the fic; you said goodnight to your viewers and thought that no harm would come from a fan's artwork about you and your friend. turns out you were wrong. The next day you were bombarded with fan accounts and edits of you and isaac from past videos. you're scrolling through some of the comments of the edits and something catches your eye.
Isaacwhy?: Damn you guys are trying to manifest something fr ;))
you couldnt believe what you just read; Did he really like you too?, how long has he liked you?, what would the others think?, could you two be together?. Your mind was left with a lot of questions but you had come to terms with it. You like Isaac.
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-Nick [soft willey]-
you had been making music since you were five when your parents got you a fisher price piano. you've just fell in love with your hobby and wanted to make a career out of it, that's when you decided to put your name out there as a singer/rapper. You didn't have a voice like sza but it was good enough to make a living off of it, and it was better when you would pair it with your genius lyrics. It was a nice Sunday afternoon when your music producer Kenny called you to come into the studio and that there as some people, he wanted you to meet and collab with. you had seen that your producer was in the booth with three dudes and a camera? Your producer has seen you looking through the booth glass and gestured for you to come in and met the people he was talking to. There was a tall guy with a hat, sunglasses, and a black mask, there was a shorter guy with shoulder length hair that was pointing everywhere. The two guys were pretty good looking but the third piqued your interest; he was around 5 '10 with a nice build, it was very obvious that he spent his time at the gym. “This is y/n they are in the same business as you three” your producer presented with a big smile on his face. “It's really nice to meet you, Kenny convinced us that you would sound the best on our new single” you shook the gym guy's hand noticing the tattoo of a long spiky line wrapping around his arm. You got so distracted looking at the guy's arm and everything else he had that you didn't hear your producer calling your name “y/n you can't let go of nicks hand now i think he knows you now” you dropped nicks hand realizing how long you just held his hand without him saying anything. “All right let's get to work people, isaac would you be a doll and do your verse first so y/n can get the flow of the song and see what they need to do”. 
It took the whole day for you guys to actually record the song. With larry making funny faces while the nick and isaac where in the middle of their verses and make them laugh so you would have to start back from the beginning then you would issue were either you or the others would have a hard time saying a word right or you went faster or slower than the beat then it was start back at square one. A miracle had happened; you all got through the song with no hiccups and were able to send it out to an editor for some final touches. You had grabbed your stuff and walked out to your car so you could finally go home and let your dog out. You almost got to your car when your arm was grabbed, you wiped your head around so fast to see who you were going to have to beat the shit out of. “I'm so sorry i shouldn't have grabbed like i was going to kidnap you or something but i was shouting your name but you just kept on walking” Thank God it was just nick and not some creep. “oh no no you're okay i was just surprised is all, so whats up?” “I was wondering if i could get your number or maybe your insta so you could be a feature on some of our future stuff, you were awesome like kenny said and i want to keep you around”. It was nothing but two seconds of silence before Nick took back his words “i didn't mean it like that i just mean like your killer and it would be great if you got to do more with me…..not with just me just in general with music. Fuck you get what im trying to say right” “yeah i get what you mean” you said breaking a smile to make him feel less embarrassed “here just put your number and insta in, so we can do more stuff”. He took your phone for a minute to put all is information and handed it back to you with a puppy dog like smile. Dog? “OH, SHIT RALPH” you had forgotten about your poor baby at home “I'm sorry Nick but I have to go!” nick had tried to say something, but you were already in the car and backing out of your parking spot. ‘Whose ralph?’ nicked thought as he watched you leave the building “NICK GET YO UGLY ASS IN THE CAR I WANT TO GO HOME” Larry shouted hanging out the back of the car window. Nick spent the whole night trying to find a ralph in your following list on Instagram, but he had no luck and decided that he didn't care who your mystery man was he was better than this ‘ralph’ character and that he was going to win you over.
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hoepieces · 1 year
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hi, hope you doing well. can I request a angst one shot from you about oc/reader and kylian being secretly together for an year. and then, their relationship is revealed and oc/reader get so many negative comments that she decide to leave him. I don't know about the end, so it's up to you. thank you and have a nice day ❤️
Hello! Thank you so much for requesting, I’m doing great, hope you’re doing well too☺️ This is going to be a part 2 of this. I really hope you like it!! Thanks for being so nice and respectful btw🤎
PLEASE don’t forget to give me feedback!!
& to anyone who speaks French, je suis désolée, mon français n’est pas bon, pcq je parle en français avec mes sœurs seulement, et je parle tout le temps en anglais, ainsi, pardon pour le faux français 😭
WARNINGS: some cursing, negative comments, mass bullying. Angst with a happy ending🥰
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You twisted in Kylian’s bed, trying to fetch your phone, the biggest mistake you’ve ever made. Kylian was out, already in training, reminiscing about the winner treatment you gave him the night before. Meanwhile you were at his house, ready to tackle the day, unaware of what was about to hit you.
Slowly you removed your arm from under the pillow, using your hand to open up your phone, about to text Kylian something cute, when you noticed your phone burning up, absolutely blowing with multiple messages and notifications. Your eyes cracked open, trying to wake yourself up completely, wondering if something happened to your family or to Kylian.
*99+ notifications from Instagram
*3 missed calls from Ethan
*2 missed calls from Fayza
*4 texts from Ethan
What the hell was happening? It felt like the entire room was closing in on you, terrified of what’s waiting for you on the other side of the current moment. You opened up Ethan’s messages, thinking it would be easier to communicate with him, assuming him and Fayza had the same thing to talk to you about.
Y/N, I’m so sorry
C’est très merde mais c’est pas important
it’s very shit but it’s not important
Ils sont jaloux de toi
they’re jealous of you
Tu es une personne formidable
you’re an amazing person
You read the texts, not quite understanding what was going on still, until something clicked. You were at the match the other night, you were blowing kisses to Kylian, and for the first time in a year, a face has been attached to the mystery girl Kylian was always rumored to be seen with. The internet must have been going wild, but probably in a disgusting way, otherwise you wouldn’t have your brother in law apologizing for something he didn’t do.
You called your mother in law, terrified of what she must have read about you and her son, for her to call you. And when she didn’t pick up, you thanked god silently, not ready to hear anything about how it pained her to see your name getting tarnished. You breathed in, opening up the hellhole, Twitter, to find that your name was trending, never a good sign. You decided to face it, and scroll through the shameless tweets.
Mystery PSG wag comes to light, somebody cut the wires please!
She looks way too happy, I’d be too if my boyfriend was paying for me to look pretty. At least I’d use the money, she looks like she’s never used a hairbrush.
Why is her aura so dark? She seems too evil.
Her nose is a disaster, how can the starboy end up with someone like that?
The further down you scrolled, the more criticism you saw. People had been tearing your appearance apart, saying you were suspiciously happy, because you should’ve frowned and thrown a tantrum like the goalie who had just been nutmegged by your boyfriend. It was crazy, too much to take, but you couldn’t stop, fingers still holding your phone, scrolling through the vile comments. Eyes narrowed and burning from the light shinning in them.
We’ve been teased for a year for her to look like that? That man is BLIND.
I’m suing for fraud, why is this girl ugly now that we’ve seen more than her back?
You knew you weren’t ugly, fuck, you were looking at yourself in the mirror, trying to see what they saw that might have triggered this. But it was terrifying, letting those strangers, who were gleaming with green, tear you down, to the point where you could feel yourself slip into a very deep and helpless point of self doubt. It was too much, you worked your entire life, trying to achieve peace with your body and your appearance, and when you finally reached the bright side of things, this wave of hatred snatched you back into the storm.
You loved Kylian, but you knew having him meant constantly getting this type of hate and resentment from those who you didn’t even know. You’ve been putting it off for an entire year, keeping your meetings on the low, booking out entire restaurants just so you’d share a meal outside, it was all for your own sake. People who never met you, calling you a gold digger, people who never got to hear you talk about what you love and care for, called you shallow. It was all weighing in on your chest, you felt like you genuinely couldn’t breathe. The more you’d think about it, the clearer your choice became. You had to end it with Kylian, as sad as it was and as devastating as it would be, it needed to happen. He deserved someone who was able to handle all the attention, he deserved someone who would tweet a big screw all of you to everyone, but you weren’t that person, whether you liked it or you didn’t, no matter how hard you tried, you just weren’t that person.
You wanted to wait for Kylian, say it to his face, touch him and ease him into it, but you never found the courage to do that. So you wrote a note, what you thought was the coward’s way out, became yours. You thought of all the possible outcomes, none of which helped make it easier for you. With tearful eyes and weakened limbs, you wrote your heart out, but decided to keep the note to yourself, opting for a tiny and hollow promise on a piece of paper.
I will always love you, nobody in the world will ever be able to make me as happy as you have. I can’t be the reason why you don’t have someone to cheer you on in the crowds, I’m sorry but I can’t risk my own mental health.
Forever yours, Y/N.
You were positive Kylian wasn’t going to accept it, absolutely sure he was going to lose his mind, and try his best to win you back, and you understood that it was going to be hard to stand your ground. However, the more you thought about it, the more love you had for Kylian, surfacing up your brain, making sure your decision was solidified. A man like him, with all his kindness and love, he deserved someone to love him out loud, and as much as you yearned for yourself to be that person, it was not going to happen without compromising your mental health.
You shook your doubts, ready to transform into a full coward, leaving Kylian behind, swearing you’d try your best to reason with him, once he found out. As you walked to your car, your head span with all the love you had for him and his family, unable to fathom what you were about to do, but you were already in your car, your body forcing you to leave, regardless of what your heart was telling you.
A few hours passed, and you were getting yourself lost in some work, trying to get your heartbreak fixed, hoping some editing and writing would clear the fog in your brain.
Your breath hitched upon hearing the keys jiggle, you knew it would be Kylian trying to wake you up. You already sighed, understanding the consequences of the conversation at hand.
“Y/N, are you serious? A note? Une putain de note? Tu es fou, il n y’a pas de autre raison! After all this time, one note? And a couple trolls? Is that what’s going to really break us up?”
He sounded furious, mixing his French and his English, being awfully loud and angry, but you understood. He had every reason, but you couldn’t bring yourself to agree with him.
You couldn’t even bring yourself to look at the guy who was agitated with your behavior, you thought if you spoke while keeping your eyes on the ground, he wouldn’t lose it, or it would be easier for you.
“Kyky, I can’t do that, I just can’t stand in the crowd and cheer you on without giving myself hell, I can’t compromise that, I seriously can’t.” Your head was hung low, you whispered as much as you could, trying to trick your ears into not hearing the bullshit you were saying.
His ears however, they picked it up in an obnoxious manner, he didn’t even need to adjust his stance to hear what you were whispering.
“You know you’re better than that, you should always remember that. And it’s not true, it’s seriously not true, we can have my PR team come up with something, I’ll even hire an entire team just to block those haters, I swear I’ll do anything, but please understand I can’t do that without you.”
You thought about it, left and right swaying in your brain, you didn’t really think of all the routes you could’ve used from his side, only focusing on your side of the story. He was a superstar, he had access to any and every form of help, and you were standing in front of him, juggling the idea in your mind and balancing out all the words you were about to say.
“Y/N, come on, what do you say mon amour? Please, please allow me to do this one thing, let’s at least try.” His hands were sliding on your back, he wanted you to know how much he cared about you and your relationship.
His words were growing on you, a team that studied the science of shutting up trolls and switching the internet on your side, that did sound like the ultimate solution for your problem. Your hands reached to touch his face, mesmerizing eyes staring at you. You leaned up to kiss him, lips tender on his as you felt the shame of almost letting your blessing go, wash over you.
“Yes, I’m sorry, I don’t want to be a coward. I love you and I want to do as much as I can to be with you.”
Another kiss was placed on his cheek, looking at him with all the love in the world, you teared up realizing how you almost broke both of your hearts. His thumb quick to wipe away the drops of water, hugging you tighter against his chest, showing you how serious he was about you.
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dimepdf · 2 years
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WANNA BE YOURS. + THE RIDDLER
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masterlist. / taglist. / any request? summary. Working the night shift in Gotham City, where sociopaths and criminals are constantly on the loose, makes you concerned about your own safety. Until you meet a dull man named Edward, whom you enjoy teasing during your work shift. What's the worst that could happen? author's note. hey horny people! porn this time!
[ ❥ ] pairing. riddler x fem!reader
[ ❥ ] word count. 5.3k sorry again
[ ❥ ] genre. +18, PWP
[ ❥ ] warnings. language, manipulation, musty ass reader, reader being a discord mod, obsessive behavior, bottom!riddler, dense reader, incel Edward, awkward flirting, car sex, slight hand kink, unprotected sex, choking, dense reader, unhealthy relationship, corruption kink?
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[ ❥ ] You yawned into your palm, your fingers reaching up to subconsciously adjust the septum piercing that dangled from your nose as your fingers went back to finding themselves tapping against the keys of the overheating laptop that was nested on top of your hip bone.
Your head was angled to sit up by the excessive number of pillows at the headboard of your bed as your eyes were tiredly glued to the brightly lit computer screen.
You wet your chapped lips, your tongue dragging along your lips before taking your bottom lip in between your teeth as you scrolled through the discord channels of your active friend server.
You lived in Gotham your entire life. You were aware of the crime rates and all the bad shit that people would compare your city to, and honestly, you didn't blame them, as you were even too paranoid and filled with anxiety to leave your own house without being glued to the hip with your parents by your side.
You knew it was pathetic being a 20-year-old secret college dropout with a shitty night shift job at some diner just to help ease your subconscious mind of the seeping guilt you felt constantly mooching and freeloading off of your parent's funds. You were a grown woman yet felt so directionless, having graduated from high school. 
You sort of realized that people didn't care what you were truly doing with your life if it didn't benefit them or serve any purpose of entertainment. In your extended family's eyes, you were just simply the quiet cousin/niece that just followed orders from everyone, the cousin who was too spineless to stick up for themselves or got picked on and called a crybaby.
But what they didn't know was that you ruled another world, a world within the internet.
You were a very niche true-crime Youtuber, gaining your following from true crime compilations and edited documentaries on the sociopaths that caught the light of fame because they lived in your city.
You were Gotham's most adored faceless source of information other than the corrupted aired news that was controlled by the city. What people liked about you was that you were real. You didn't care about higher-ups or give in to the bribes of rich people trying to hide the criticism.
You were just another victim of your city's shit system and had used your channel to voice it. 
You welcomed the internet as your only safe space as the coded community welcomed you with open arms. You had actual friends and fans online and grew a pretty decent-sized community.
Of course, most of the "fans" were mostly just parasocial creeps with a fetish for criminals and tragedies, but it didn't matter because it wasn't like they could tell that secretly you were judging their lives since they didn't know your real name nor any information to discover your true identity.
You weren't undercover using an alias for the privacy of yourself and the safety of your family. 
Aside from the caped Bat who roamed the streets locally, you demonstrated yourself to be the most polished detective in the city. Your fans admired your ability to work safely in the shadows. Many of your parasocial fans even went as far as funding your lifestyle. Of course, you took all the gifts and money as the donations were very lucrative.
The amount that your fans would give wasn’t enough for the end goal. You aimed to move out of Gotham City and into a safer city. Also, in terms of your bad spending habits, you would find enjoyment in doordashing food from the comfort of your full-size bed.
You could count on your fingers how many times you’ve left the house in the last month, blessing the subscriber that funded enough money for you to have the high tech laptop that you could complete all of your blogs and edit videos on.
Aside from your family and the small number of coworkers and customers you had to tolerate, you didn't have much going for you outside of the internet.
You have to turn on your mic just to have any sort of social interaction in your life outside of your parents asking you to come down to eat dinner because all your friends are voices hidden behind stupid usernames.
A hum left your lips as you heard the annoying discord ping notification spam through your laptop speakers. You had managed to complete a small group of people into a more inner circle using the superfans as content mules, as they would commonly ramble about gossip that happened in the city like they walked the same streets as you.
As you opened the group chat and read the chat logs of your friends spamming links of a live streamer in Gotham going on a rampage. You never disclosed a lot of personal information with your internet friends. As much as they liked to believe, you didn't trust them.
The creeping fear that they would piece too much of your privacy together and ruin the persona of your only main source of income makes you shiver just by the thought of it. 
Your online username was gothicgrims, a play on words as your content was mainly about Gotham and its daily rising crime rate in the niche community of true crime.
You were the queen of the city news. Some of your blog posts even reached the modern news eye as they would use your blog as a credited source. Of course, the shout-out only made it harder for you to keep a low profile. You would take extra care that you wouldn't leave even the smallest traces of your identity anywhere in your words. 
Folktales: check this fucker out he’s planning something insane! 
Zobner: dude hes probably making a fucking BOMB LMAO 
gothicgrims: how is that funny? 
gothicgrims: he’s just another incel looking for the gotham news clout
Folktales: lol 
Marzbarz: yeah but are you gonna do a video on him?
Marzbarz: asking for a friend :eyestare:
gothicgrims: giving me something actually interesting to write about :yawn:
Folktales: yeah but his voice tho :lipbyte:
Zobner: not you being horny for another musty masked man on main 
Marzbarz: im tryna see what's under the mask :ughh:
gothicgrims: you all need serious therapy.
Though you were more serious in your comments, your friends were pretty dense and reflected most of your sarcastic remarks blinded by the power trip of you being a famous role model they looked up to, and you had admittedly gotten used to talking freely with your emotions to only the muggle group chat full of people.
cheeks puffed out as your cursor hovered over the highlighted link. You sighed, stretching your fingers before clicking on the link, waiting as your browser loaded the live streaming page.
Your brow furrowed at the contrast of neon green and dark background. You assumed the male was using his website to stream onto the platform, ticking off another mental red flag in your head as you quickly checked your VPN to ensure it was still active while logged in.
You sat up against your headboard, snuggling your back deeper into your pillows for a comfortable seat as the man on your screen seemed to be moving around as his camera shook the blur of his green mask, bloating the vertical screen as you pressed the volume key on your laptop.
Plugging in your old trusty head buds as you pressed the volume key on your laptop, bloating the vertical screen as you pressed the volume key on your keyboard, plugging in your old trusty head
The moment the man started speaking again, you tapped your volume keys a few more times to a higher volume as his gentle voice played through your headphones, a shiver of goosebumps running up your arms.
You placed a hand against your mouth, masking the embarrassed smirk from no one as you glanced at your bedroom door and jumped up from your mattress, shamelessly shedding your pants as you reached across your small bedroom and flicked the lock on your doorknob. 
A sigh left your lips as you crawled back under your blankets and tuned back into the stream, or more so, the male's voice once more.
You could tell he wasn't used to being in front of the camera by the way he uttered, but what piqued your interest was the pattern in which he spoke.
Even in his own company, he appeared nervous, but intelligent in the subject he was attempting to discuss.
Wait, was a fucking masked dork talking about making a bomb was turning you on?
As you traced your hands down your stomach, your fingers hesitated as they reached the material of your underwear. A wave of arousal mixed with shame washed over you.
The light poured in through the window. He sat behind a white blare that ate up half of the screen since he had placed the phone on the floor. The male appeared to be sitting on the floor, droning on about weaponry you were unfamiliar with.
It wasn't like you cared as your fingers finally broke through the barrier of your waistband. Quietly finding the warmth of your core, a low whimper escaped your mouth as your other hand teased your clothed buds that peaked from the cotton lounge shirt you had been wearing for a week straight.
You would pleasure yourself without interruption to the man's voice all the way until your orgasm. As post-nut clarity settled in, you slammed your laptop shut hard as you buried your face into your pillows, the sound of only your muffled frustration bouncing off the walls of your bedroom.
Another message ping interrupted your pity party as you turned your head against your fluffy pillow. Your arm swung lazily to grab your phone from the nightstand, where you cringed as you read the message notification.
Bitch ass boss: short notice Pam is bailed. 
Bitch ass boss: but need you to do closing tonight.
The message from your boss kills any remaining vestiges of your lady boner as you set a 6 pm alarm and then a 7 pm alarm, knowing you'd most likely hit snooze by accident, deciding to spend the rest of your free time before work cuddling into your blankets half-naked and falling down strange rabbit holes of YouTube videos you'd saved to watch later.
The diner you worked at was decorated in the classic 80s diner style, with neon signs, harsh counters, and strict musty costumes that featured far more skin than you were comfortable wearing while taking lunch orders from middle-aged couples.
When you first considered applying for the job, you were familiar with the drawbacks of working part-time for a boss who didn't care about his employees as long as he was making money.
Though your safety had never been in jeopardy, you had been working the same job since junior year of high school.
Dealing with rude coworkers and old creepy men who needed a strong reminder that they didn't walk into a Hooters and that groping you was not acceptable.
Your parents cared enough to buy you your own car, not wanting you to walk the few blocks at the break of dawn. 
It was a peaceful night, well as peaceful as it could get in Gotham. As you walked past one of your coworkers taking a smoke break in the back of the restaurant, you locked your car and tossed your tote back over your shoulder, the loud clicking of your car keys in hand.
As you entered the building, you gave them a tightly closed mouth smile, instantly wincing from the bright restaurant overhead light beaming all along the kitchen roof.
You took a turn to the restrooms to change into your uniform, your back against the door just in case someone tried to open the door as you were changing.
You yawned giving yourself a once over in the dirty mirror, your hands reaching down to flatten the skirt of your dress as you wiped your nose with the back of your hand not bothering to wash your hands as you exited the restroom you locked your bag into one of the employee lockers or at least attempted too as most of the locks were busted from everyone always trying to steal from them. 
You were wise enough to keep your car keys and phone in your pockets at all times, leaving only your purse and a change of clothes in your bag.
The restaurant wasn't busy, just a few lingering people sitting in booths talking amongst themselves already situated, you only assumed an earlier server got to them before your shift started as you exhaled plopping yourself in front of the cash restaurant and instantly taking out your phone, you decided now was the perfect time to do a deep dive on the male you were using as wank bank material earlier. 
You rested your chin in your palm, your elbow on the counter, and used your thumb to scroll through the rest of his saved live streams.
You made the best of your repetitive shift. As you tapped one of the older streams, your eyes were glued to your phone. Looking up and scanning the environment, you quickly realized that no one gave a fuck that you were sitting there as you turned up the volume just loud enough to make out some of the words he was saying but not loud enough for the others across the room to hear.
They were pretty much all in the same format you would study, the male asking for help from the weird community of people that watched his videos. 
You assumed it was some weird 4chan group wanting attention but the farther you scanned through his page the more you would realize how seriously dangerous his plans truly were.
A deep panic creeps up your skin as you were hung up on every word that came from the masked male's mouth. “Excuse me.” You slammed your phone down on the counter making the standing male across from you slight flinch, his nature instantly coming off timid as he gave you a feared glance you awkwardly chuckled off your frightened reaction.
Putting on your customer service smile trying to milk your way into getting milk with every opportunity, “sorry about that, can I get you anything?” you tone a falsely sweet tone as you slide your phone back into your pocket glancing at the man quickly you could already tell he was staring at your exposed cleavage.
His cheeks a pinch of pale pink as his eyes seemed to just fall into a trance of your boobs you crossed your arms in front of your chest the man looking up at you in confusion almost like he didn't even realize himself that he was staring until breaking away from from the trance.
His fingers fidgeted as he looked around the entire place, everything except the person in front of him. "Uh, I'm sorry…" his voice was gentle when he spoke almost like he was afraid that you reached over the counter and smack the shit out of him.
A smile couldn't help but to creep onto your lips as you only chuckled placing a washed mug in front of him, "awe man, it's alright as long as you're only looking and not touching we won't have a problem, you a coffee guy?" and from the one question that bloomed, you bonded with the man who would soon be your regular.
That made the closing shift not too bad with his constant bright and calm demeanor presence. In contrast to your highly sarcastic and blunt personality, you were surprised at how natural the friendship had formed between the two of you from behind the counter.
You grew so close to each other enough to know and exchange names with each other that you would come to realize that he was one of the first actual friends that you could talk to face to face in a while. Unbeknownst to you, Edward felt the same way, and that fucking terrified him every night.
You were the distraction he never wanted to come into his life at the worst time. He would constantly worry about you and his connection revealing the worst side of him.
The creeping fear that you found about his alter ego and dehumanizing him was one of his biggest fears as he would spend the late nights staying up just to talk to you on the same bar stool getting the same order every day. "You have to try the fucking pumpkin pie here. It's insane. It's like Sal sold his fucking soul for it to come out that perfect."
You would vouch for all the food he would order, though your conversations were always involved with him spending money, not to mention the times you would force him to tip you.
Sometimes your conversations would have him thinking about you for days, your words lingering in the back of his mind at the worst possible time. You'd often linger in these thoughts, his fist angrily tugging at his cock as he kneeled against his carpeted floors, his cock flushed with anger as his tip leaked cum right into his hand.
You two had one thing in common, both perverts with a knack for justice. Edward would instantly undercover your little YouTube channel even your full name and identity just in under the first week of knowing you. 
He was not some silly 20-year-old with a hobby; he was a fucking sociopath with a plan, and that plan had taken him many years to develop since he stepped foot out of that horrible orphanage. He was angry nonetheless.
You had proved to be heavy destruction, a speed bump as he leaned his head against his wall for more stability. Edward didn't bother hiding his grunting and moaning as he angrily beat his cock to an image of you that was posted on your mother's Facebook.
It was your 20th birthday picture. The picture was taken at an upward angle as you stared up into the camera with big doe eyes. You had white frosting all over your face, having just had your birthday smashed against your face as a prank. After blowing your candles, your pointer finger rested in your mouth, your plump lips wrapping around the knuckle.
Your tongue stuck out from the underside of the finger. Edward imagines himself in your mouth, his big harsh manly palms caressing your cheek, his thumb brushing against your lips as you sucked his finger with the same flirtatious look; God, you were driving him insane.
Edward sat on his legs, his head leaning to rest his forehead on the same floor, as he came undone with the pump of his fist. His cum just rested inches away from his face, soaking into the carpet.
You had too much power over him.
He hated that his mind spiraled with every mistake, every fuckup that you would manage to cause by just existing, and then he finally decided... you had to go.
Your shift started like every other night, changing in the bathroom to having too much downtime. The only difference between today and yesterday was that Edward was waiting for you this time. 
You moved behind the counter and in front of him, tilting your head and squinting at the man.
Noticing his pumpkin pie plate and a warm-looking cup of coffee in front of him. "You fucking cheater! I thought I was your one and only favorite waitress!" you exclaimed, crossing your arms over your chest. 
Edward considered how well your arms pushed up against your breasts, how you managed to show off your body to him without realizing how much you were displaying yourself to him.
"Just wanted to try something new before it was too late." You were dense. Edward quickly discovered his words that held greater meaning seemed to just slip into your ear and go out the other. 
It was that way for a lot of people he had met in his lifetime. Though he found your ignorance endearing, dotting the way your head would tilt in confusion when he rambled on about something you didn't understand or how you would always use your humor to hide how much of a dummy you were.
He wished he could keep you forever, preserve you from the harm of the world.
Don't get him wrong, he has considered kidnapping you from the comfort of your own home and dragging your body to his apartment, chaining your feet to the radiator in the corner of his apartment living room.
He would be able to control everything you did, but at least you were smart when it came to defending yourself.
 You overpowered him in strength, no doubt. Edward, no matter how much height he had on you, was not the type to engage in any form of arm exercise, as he frequently defeated his enemies with weapons.
He knew that if he were to get into an altercation with you, you would manage to catch him off guard by using pure strength.
"What's one thing you always wanted to do before you died?" The question was unprompted as you simply glanced at Edward from your phone screen, your mindless scrolling on Twitter coming to a halt as you sat your phone down on the counter, starting to ponder as you bit your bottom lip. 
Edward waited patiently with the same slight smile on his face. His eyes considered kind as his arms rested on the counter of the table. He was dragging his fingers along the mug of his coffee as he gave you his full attention.
You lifted your pointer finger in the air. "My first kiss, I mean, I want to have my first kiss, you know, like the whole feeling of fireworks and roses flowing around me."
The answer was not what Edward was expecting. As he lifted his brow, you quickly took notice of how he was staring at you. "What, you think you're the only adult virgin here, buddy?" You chuckled, your attention going back to your phone screen.
 "I want—what if I could help you with that?" Your attention perched as you lowered your phone once more, a deep smirk setting on your lips as you used your elbows to lean closer towards Edward's face.
You were flirting again, an activity that would often leave Edward flushed pink and you triumphant as you had managed to fluster the man to the point of stuttering and stumbling. It was a fun pastime for you. 
"You wanna kiss me, Eddy?" He hated nicknames, especially the times you would use them.
He just didn't see the point of you shortening his already short name. He liked the way his last name rolled off your tongue, almost like you were saying it just to tease him. 
"If that's the only thing you want, I'm happy to offer your last wish." You thought it was weird how suddenly forward Edward was tonight.
You thought it was even more weird seeing him set a briefcase down on the counter before following you outside. But the fear instantly went away as he linked his fingers in between yours, giving you that same shy look as he peered up at you over his glasses.
You would admit how much you were a hopeless romantic as you clocked out for a break and led Edward outside to the front of the restaurant. Leaning on your car hood, as Edward stood awkwardly across from you, you reached your arms out to grab his wrist and pull him in between your legs. 
"Don't get all shy on me now, Eddy." God, he really fucking hated that nickname. The way you smirked up at him with those big fucking eyes, he let his actions get ahead of his thoughts as his thumb traced over your chin.
He ignored your slight flinch reaction as his fingers seemed to study the structure of your face. He might as well soak it all in while he can.
"You're into some kinky shit Eds." You gagged, his pointer finger shoving into his mouth as his chest rose from the warm feeling of your tongue wrapping around the digit almost instantly.
Spoke in a slight mumble, careful to not bring your teeth down as you spoke. He still couldn't believe that he was getting away with the action as his other hand tilted your head up farther so you could peer up at him through your lashes.
The way your dark eyes glistened as you looked up at him expecting something made him remember what you would look like kneeling to the ground begging his name.
"I want to do more than kiss you." His confession was dull as he stared at your mouth.
The way your lips wrapped around his pointer, a slight chuckle making your teeth flash from your mouth as Edward looked at you looking for any sign of discomfort.
You pulled your head around from his hands, wetting your lips. As you leaned back against your hood, a groan left your throat as you buried your face in your hands.
Edward was ready to back out in an instant as he backed away from your hand and shot out to grab his arm.
"You're so fucking unbearable, Edward," you grumbled, yanking the male closer as your head slumped into his chest.
He quickly realized, looking down at you, that you were more embarrassed and nervous than him. Given the situation, he felt an even more flaming desire as he glanced at his wrist for the time being. He needed everything to go on schedule.
"Can we... do it?" You snorted a laugh into his chest, tilting your head up to look at him again for a second before pushing the male away to stand up ."Only if you want to." It was the first time he’d ever seen you so flustered because of him.
Edward nodded his head in approval the instant the question left your lips. You smiled at him, biting your bottom lip, unlocking your car as you both slid into the back.
Your skin was already hot as you were convinced he could hear the sound of your heart beating so hard against your ribs as you both sat in a minute of silence. 
Edward sighed before grabbing your face and smashing his lips into yours. You hissed into his mouth as your teeth clashed together from the force.
But you both quickly recovered as you crawled into his lap, his hands finding your hips as he thrust up between your legs. 
You trailed kisses against his neck. Edward leaned his head to the side to give you better access as you sucked a small trail down against his throat.
Your hands trailed down his chest and to the belt buckle that held up his jeans. As you fumbled to pull at the buckle, you groaned in frustration, your head snapping up to look up at him with concentration glistening in your eyes.
"Help me please." Edward was convinced that most of his blood had already made its way to his dick, as the simple request caused him to become dizzy, causing him to shift his hips up to unbuckle his belt and pull his jeans down to his thighs.
He hesitated before pulling down his boxers as well, exposing his cock as it yanked from the material springing to his chest.
You breathed out. Your legs spread on each side of Eds as you lifted yourself and pushed your underwear aside with your thighs.
While you gripped his cock and guided the inches deeper into your core, your stomach began to burn as you buried your face into the man's neck. You groan as you lower yourself further down.
Edward groaned, his hand resting on your hip as the other fisted the roof of your car, every twitch and groan melting him farther into you as he leaned his head back and let you set the pace.
As you bottomed out, you both groaned with his cocked buried inside. You paused to catch your breath, feeling yourself throb around his length as Edward whimpered. You pulled back your arm using the headrest behind you as your other hand rested on his chest. 
Edwards squeezed his eyes shut so hard that he was seeing white spots. He was finding it difficult to sit still and not react to your cunt squeezing his dick. "If you cum in me, I'll fucking kill you," you grunt, pressing your chest against his as you slowly lift yourself, wincing as your body desperately tries to adjust to being fucked.
Your legs shook as you practically bounced against his dick. The air in the car is hot and stuffy as you both begin to sweat from each other's body heat, moaning into each other's mouths. His hands were trailing up your shirt, desperately groping your chest through your bra as you ground your hips into his lap. 
All that could be heard was the sound of your skin slapping together along with Edward's low whimpering and your moaning. The car jerked every time you would slam down into his lap.
The more you got the hang of it, the more arousing it became as you wrapped your arms over his shoulder to hold yourself closer to him. Your legs began to tire as you sat in his lap and ground your hips to chase the new sensation building in the pit of your stomach.
Then Edward began thrusting his hip into yours as you leaned your head back and strung together moans. Your legs were shaking as you came undone.
Edward quickly followed your orgasm, raising you slightly to pull his cock out and onto the front of your dress.
"I have to walk back inside covered in cum now." You nibbled at his lip as you leaned down to passionately kiss the fucked speechless Edward, before using his shirt to smear some of the stains off of your dress and readjusting your underwear.
"What time is it?" You groaned, wiping the sweat from your forehead with the back of your hand.
You shifted yourself over to sit in the other backseat as Edward pulled himself together, tucking himself back into his underwear and pulling up his pants.
Almost fucking him dumb as he had almost forgotten to check the time on his wristwatch. The moment the question settled in his brain, he recognized the situation once more, the plan almost slipping from his mind.
"You should probably go back inside now." When he mumbled, fixing his belt and refusing to meet your eyes, you assumed the innocent reasoning and assumed he was the type to get nervous after inanimate solutions, so you followed suit to his request.
Leaving the man in the car as you went to clock back into work, you stayed in the kitchen of the diner for a bit, using a wet cloth to wipe any remaining stains from the front of your dress.
As you shuffled back to your usual spot behind the counter, your phone rested face down in the same spot you'd left it, and you pressed the power button, your lock screen flooded with notifications of missed discord calls to your friends messaging you. You quickly tapped on the Discord icon and scrolled through the messages.
Folktales: HE’S STREAMING AGAIN!
Folktales: our crazy hot mask bf awooga
Marzbarz: ours???? No mf YOURS
Zobner: where is he even at??
Marzbarz: looks like some shitty diner 
Folktales: LMAO HES GONNA BLWO IT UP I BET!!
Zobner: LMAO
Marzbarz: wait.
Zobner: ???
Marzbarz: does that phone case look familiar to you?
Folktales: gothic has the same one 
Zobner: thats her ringtone…
Marzbarz: guys something doesnt seem right
You frowned, swiping up and tapping on the Livestream notification link, your phone instantly redirecting to the familiar black and neon green page. This time the Livestream was the thing that caught you off guard, as it was a live feed of a security camera.
The camera was pointed directly towards you. As your head jerked in the direction of the camera mounted to the wall. You froze, your blood running cold as you tried to piece together everything. The only thing you managed to think about was how Edward still hadn't walked into the restaurant.
His seat was empty. The only thing occupying his space was the same strange briefcase. Your curiosity getting the best of you, you grabbed the handle of the case. You froze.
A loud beeping sound rang out throughout the diner as you quickly unclasped the case and yanked it open, revealing a bomb and a small note inside.
It's better this way; the world is too filthy for kindhearted people like you. I adore you too much to lose you by another's hand.
“Oh you fucking–”
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kakarorin · 3 months
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Defending "The Road to El Dorado" from a couple racist claims, or how I, being so cheeky, like to call it: Covering myself in sugar in order to attract some nasty little bugs🐞
For some reason, 2024 seems to be the year when I can't tolerate "The Road to El Dorado is packed with racism" discourse anymore. A couple days ago, I stumbled across a very colourful gifset which encapsulated perfectly all the objectively wrong arguments (save for half... one... one and a half... It depends) I've ever seen people give out to explain why they don't like the movie (@/neechees: If by some unlikely chance you're reading this, I wish we could have talked about it calmly. I'm a very open-minded person, unlike you seem to be). I've seen them SO many times that I think I hit my limit. Long story short, I got defensive, which I regret, shame on me, told the op they were wrong, as they are, op responded, and I got blocked before I could respond back. I honestly don't know why they blocked me after responding. I don't know if they sensed I know much more about the Aztec Conquest than they do, but well... Occam's razor.
After I calmed down, tried to reach to them because I genuinely wanted to talk about it, and failed, I decided I was going to break their post down as minutely as I could, even if just to get it off my shoulders and toss it into the void, and polished what I told one of the people who reblogged op's post saying they were right into this lengthy post. Purely because I love debating about movies I love. And boy, do I LOVE this movie.
Before starting, I'm letting you know that, as far as I know, I'm 100% white. And I'm also from Spain (Europe. Clarifying this for the Americans), which understandably gives me the advantage of having lived (and living) through the subtle remnants of the wretched Spanish Black Legend. Yet none of these two things stopped me from looking up historical papers, podcasts and documentaries (further than YouTube's video essays, I mean) so I could understand that this sort of... slander was indeed, part of that concept. I don't see how being of a particular race or ethnicity gives you the right to speak about recorded history as objective facts without doing your research and applying your critical thinking to it, either. Does op think that just because they're Native-American, as they say (just in case, can't believe anything you read on the internet these days), a person who has spent hours, days, months educating themselves about Hernán Cortés, poor Malinche and the Aztec Conquest from serious sources can't have more knowledge than them? Smh, op, smh. It does give you right over feelings, and obviously, your own experiences, though. Hope you still understand that factual knowledge is an entirely different thing.
That being said, at the end of the day, save for the very easy-to-check historical facts (which I will provide sources for if asked, although I believe you can very easily research it yourself), this is my opinion about why "The Road to El Dorado" is regarded as much more racist than it actually is. If you want to give me yours or respond to it, please, by all means, do it. Respectfully and with clear and valid reasons, of course. Otherwise, I'll have to ignore you. Understand that what you read below is the limit of my thinking and reading. Enjoy, or hate. Call me a racist. Send a WHITE meme my way. Up to you.
I'd link you to the post, but I don't feel like it. They blocked me, after all. You can search my blog for it. It's tagged as "neechees". And be sure to read their tags on the post as well, for context. Anyway, here go their "objective truths". Debunking time starts... now:
(EDIT: This is filled with edits. See how my opinion can change and I can clarify or rectify? Anyway, stating the obvious, but I believe Spanish colonization is bad. In any part of the world. I won't give you a single good aspect of it, except for that at least it was based on a different mindset than British colonization. Maybe there are fairly good aspects. After all, they say Romans gave us Spaniards roads and sewage systems. We'd have to take a look at an alternative reality where it didn't happen to make an objective claim. But, believe me, if it had been for me, I'd have pushed Cortés off the ship a good bunch of nautical miles before he reached what is now known as Veracruz, whatever good things he ended up doing. Bear that in mind.)
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1. The cultures are mashed up in one city, that is true. But there is no explicit racist (implying prejudice, discrimination or antagonism, as I understand racism, or as racism is actually defined) motive behind it. I don't think it's done out of unthoughtfulness, either. I'm pretty sure it's just done to leave the place ambiguous, because (tell you more later), with Cortés involved and what went down with him historically, that place is much more meant to be Tenochtitlán than the legendary city of El Dorado. They didn't want to make that so explicit because this is a retelling, after all (tell you more later). I honestly don't see how anyone could think that the resulting city and culture are portrayed in a negative way. Sometimes, I'm not even sure these people were paying attention when watching the movie (if they ever did). In fact, if it weren't for the title of their post, I wouldn't even understand the point in this.
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2. Oh boy, this is exactly what triggered me to say something instead of just putting it on my blog silently. This is how I know the op has ZERO knowledge about the historical event behind it, because they wouldn't say this is right if they did. There is no such thing as a (EDIT:) sufficiently collective "Spanish lie that Native-American (NA) people believed they were gods" (NEVER listen to a Spaniard who claims this. EDIT: Like López de Gómara. They're delulu), this has never had any kind of historical relevance (in the outcome and influence of history, I mean), and the NA people in the movie are not worshipping the white guys because they're white. The whole plot, arriving in a city and being mistaken for a god because your arrival coincided with an ancient premonition in such a precise way that it is fascinating, is exactly what happened to Cortés when he reached the capital of the Aztec Empire, Tenochtitlán. He was believed to be the reincarnation of Quetzalcóatl, and that's why he could enter the city peacefully and live in it for a short amount of time. The concept of the movie seems to be "What if this, instead of happening to a conquistador (in which is implicit the catholic element) who quickly said he was no god when he realised what was happening (because of the sin of idolatry), happened instead to two atheist looters who are ultimately good-hearted (NOT colonizers, because they didn't try to claim the land or control it) who weren't stopped by the fear to sin and took advantage of the situation?" That's it. The premonition happened to fall on a white man hundreds of years ago (who also came from the east, same place Quetzalcóatl left to and said he'd return from) and so does in the movie story because it mirrors real history, and, again, I fail to see the negative portrayal in all of this because it's certainly NOT because they're white. I think the op also took it salty that I said they had zero knowledge about "the very people they're trying to defend", which I still believe, but this is complex and I'll only explain this if asked. What I meant by that, on the surface, is that NA people also enslaved NA people. I seriously hope op doesn't think NA slavery is more acceptable if it comes from other NA people than white people. Who knows, at this point.
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3. This is essentially right. It's the only thing I think is mostly right, actually. It's no problem for me, though. I love Chel, she's beautiful and aesthetically pleasing to me. But I can understand why it may put someone off. All good. However, I still wanna say that the Aila test is just a way of assessing indigenous women representation as positive and negative, and not the work in itself as problematic if it doesn't pass it. The Lord of the Rings doesn't pass the Bechdel test and I have never seen anyone calling it problematic because of that, nor do I need positive representation (I'm a woman. Sort of. It fluctuates) on it to enjoy it. Although I figure I'd feel the same if I were NA, I can't and won't speak for one. So I still give you that.
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4.1. This is wrong in three ways. First, Tzekel-kan is not "demonized as evil". He is evil. He's not evil because he's NA, he is evil because he killed, he lied, and he abused his power. There are NA people in the movie who are kind and good (everyone but him, I believe), and then there's him. In every race and ethnicity, there are good, neutral and bad people. And people who are sometimes good, and sometimes bad. If all the NA people were painted in a morally white and good way, that special treatment would come off as positive discrimination to me. Why can't he be a sociopathic genocider AND indigenous at the same time without being considered as racist? Does that mean all indigenous people have to be/are morally white? If all the other NA characters were demonized, I'd understand it, but it's the opposite. Also, Tzekel-kan is loosely based off Moctezuma, the (redundant) emperor of an Empire who enslaved other NA people. And, surprise, just like Cortés, I don't think the guy was evil. I think this is probably another reason why they didn't want to make clear the specific culture. I could see the racism if they had tried to directly compare Tzekel-kan with Moctezuma, I would perfectly be able to see the claim that Moctezuma was a sociopathic genocider, and I'd recognise that as racist. But in this case, it's just loose inspiration. Not a parody.
4.2. There was NO genocide in the Spanish NA colonies. There was NO legal slavery, save for a few unfortunate loopholes (tell you more later). (EDIT: careful, I'm NOT defending his monumental fuck-ups or justifying him in any way, just so you know. In my opinion, he was a fair lot more bad than good, but not 100% bad. If you get me) Hernán Cortés did a lot of undeniably wrong things, but he did good things too. I don't think you can say he was a good person, no person who'd say that would be a friend of mine, but I don't think he was a 100% evil person. Just a person, sometimes good and sometimes bad. Still, when he was bad, he was bad. And what op said about that they didn't care enough about him to write his name properly, BOY how that ticked me off. People, for all you hold dear, you have to CARE to know about such important historical figures in order to understand the history behind them and the outcomes of their actions. Especially within such a sensitive topic. It's when stories like this are ignored or forgotten, that history tends to repeat itself. The fact that I care to spell Hernán Cortés well has not the respectful positive connotation they think, either. And despite what you may believe, we Spaniards do NOT think he did everything right and much less that he was a hero. I think some Mexicans think we all do, but I don't know why. Only the most idiotic "fachas" (ultraright people) do.
4.3. One, he was not enslaved (tell you more later). Two, well, since he tried to mass-murder the inhabitants of the city, I... I do reckon putting him away was a good ending. Jesus, he tried to purge the city of citizens HE deemed unworthy in the name of a divine power (=on a religious basis) with the clear intention to wipe them out. It's clearly stated more than once throughout the movie. If you didn't know, by objective definition, the name of that starts with 'G' and ends with 'ENOCIDE'. And when that failed, he actively tried to drive the colonizers to them. Only because of that, he was technically much more of a genocider than the historical Cortés ever was. Are his actions really justified just because he's indigenous? Doesn't he deserve a punishment just because of it? I see "slavery" (if it were. Since enslaving NA in Spanish colonies was illegal at the time, I'd say he was kidnapped, in the strict sense of the word. Bit funny to word it like that) as a punishment more than fitting for his crimes. I think you all should drill this into your head: ANY abusive leader involved in (I can't believe I'm going to say this, but socially unacceptable) murder deserves to be punished in some way independently of his race, ethnicity or religion. This is something I believe firmly, so you have very little room to debate with me on this one. Do try, if you want.
By the way, I LOVE Tzekel-kan to death. Just the way he is. A charismatic, fanatical, sociopathic fictional high priest who tried to cleanse his city in the name of his gods through murder and human sacrifice, a practice that the other NA inhabitants very obviously did NOT enjoy (well, that definitely rings a historical bell). If you hadn't noticed, or perhaps thought it was impossible, let me tell you this: you can actually love evil characters without justifying their actions. It's legal. 100%. Unlike slavery in NA Spanish colonies at the time.
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5. I don't see exactly how spirituality is portrayed as evil. More specifically, I don't see how the movie's actual magic is considered Aztec spirituality. Not a fan nor a hater of Hazbin Hotel, but I've seen one of the demon characters around Twitter using literal voodoo in a very unthoughtfully wrong way. That's a big no-no, in my opinion. And I see a clear difference with this because there is nothing in the stone jaguar magic that single-handedly resembles what Aztec religion actually was. I'm not saying this can't be done in a wrong way with indigenous NA spirituality, nor that they didn't take elements from it (they did), I just think that with all the context behind the movie, here it's just magic that serves a plot function. Aesthetic Aztec/Maya patterns appear here and there, arguably because those are the "places" where it's geographically based (and because Tzekel-kan is loosely based off Moctezuma, who was the religious spiritual leader who received the Quetzalcóatl premonition), but at the end of the day, I don't think it's much more than the fantasy you typically find in a kids' movie. No specific religion was portrayed as evil, no specific gods were portrayed as evil, the magic in itself wasn't portrayed as evil. In the movie, it was black magic because Tzekel-kan, who was evil, used it for evil. Who says that a giant stone cat can ONLY serve evil purposes? I'd use it for good, personally. Maybe transportation. Maybe architecture. Decoration. Festivities. (CW: 26-year-old making a boomer joke) Maybe to instill cordial fear among my neighbours.
EDIT: I've been thinking about this these days and I realised that in the specific stone jaguar "spell", Tzekel-kan needs to toss his poor aide into the mix for it to "activate". That is much more evil than neutral, so maybe I can kind of see this point now. And human sacrifice was part of some of these religions, after all, so maybe it does point towards Aztec spirituality. Still, as it didn't come off as evil to me until I've THOROUGHLY thought about it, I feel like questioning things. Does the "spell" need a human body, or an animal body would have served? The "recipe" doesn't state anything. It's Tzekel-kan who pushes him in. Do ALL the "spells" need a body to "activate"? Maybe not. I feel like maybe I can give you a part of this argument. But still... Hmm. I don't know. We were stuck with an evil religious high priest, but that doesn't necessarily mean ONLY he could use magic. Nor that ALL the magic was evil. But yeah, alright. I can sort of see this now... a bit.
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6. I can give you this... for the most part. Knowing it mirrors history, and that historically, it was white men who rid the NA people enslaved by the Aztec Empire (which I believe is what the people of El Dorado ended up portraying, somehow oppressed by Tzekel-kan's sacrifices) of the Aztec Empire (even if woefully just to take their place), I'm not sure it's so simple. I still don't fully see it as plain white saviour narrative with that background info. In any case, I think my mind can be changed about this with the right argumentation. Surely not by a person who has no knowledge about history. Sorry, op.
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7.1. For my next trick, I'll blow your mind: Cortés was no big bad evil genocider. He wasn't a golden-hearted saint or saviour either. Frankly, I believe most people think he was similar to Christopher Columbus (of whom I don't know as much, but sounds pretty 100% evil to me with what I have) by default. I'm also very certain they watched the movie and took that version of him as a faithful representation, but in reality he was very different. He was short, he was slender, he was way more charismatic, way less solemn and serious, and he had the reputation of a womanizer. He committed atrocities, like torturing and murdering the last Huey Tlatoani for rumours (Jesus, the Cholula massacre), but he also treated most indigenous people with respect (when he wasn't pathologically obsessed with gold), he talked with Moctezuma as if he were his kin, he always tried to negotiate before grabbing his arms, he listened to and followed the advice of an indigenous woman (Malinche). And once he had done the deed, his reputation was sunk, he was stripped of most of his titles and compensation for what he had done (karma? Possibly), and he had practically no say in the new territories. He went there for the gold above all, and all the crimes he committed were in its name. But unlike Miguel and Tulio (this is the reason why they're not colonizers, only looters), he ALSO wanted to seize control of the land for the Spanish Empire. As an anti-colonialist Spaniard, I can't help boiling up in anger every time I see someone call Miguel and Tulio colonizers. They are NOT coloziners, just like we are NOT colonizers. Our country was, hundreds of years ago. The people who claimed that land as theirs and believed that gave them the right to exploit it for centuries were. And believe me, if we're still here and have descended from humble families for more than 5 centuries, none of our ancestors saw a single piece of gold.
7.2. This is part of a broader topic but Cortés acted in the name of the Spanish Empire, who, thanks to Queen Isabella the Catholic and the laws she passed, considered NA people as citizens of the Crown and therefore could not be enslaved (legally), not to mention genocided. Physically genocided, I mean, because the cultural genocide is undeniable. And still, while so many parts of so many different cultures disappeared, some things like the Maya and Nahua languages were kept. Even if little, that means something. I find some comfort in that, especially when you take a look at what happened to indigenous people in British colonies. In relation to this, there's this something that's been haunting Spain since a thousand years ago that gains relevance when talking about this, called the Spanish Black Legend. Basically anti-Spain propaganda coming from other European countries demonizing everything the country had done/does. It started out of rivalry and envy. Nowadays, it's hard to say. This is why Hernán Cortés is always seen as an evil genocider, but not other colonizers like Julius Caesar from the Roman Empire. It also makes my blood curdle because it sticks with us in the most annoying ways possible. While American people tend to think Spain is part of Latin America, European people tend to think we're dumb, don't know other languages apart from Spanish and only like partying, and our collective international sentiment, especially facing other Europeans, is often shame. Ashamed to say you're from Spain, because there's only so many "España mucho fiesta and siesta" a sane person can take from people who only come to your country to raise the living costs, drink, sunbathe and throw themselves off balconies to jump in hotel pools. Look "balconing" up. God I HATE British people. In any case, to wrap this up, this Black Legend is also why everyone believes the Spanish colonization was the same as the British colonization. By norm, the British predated, but the Spanish generated (in America, because the Spanish DID enslave African people), despite all the horrible things it did. Because it did them.
Lastly, and just because it was also part of op's response, I want to say that I have no opinion about what negative impact this movie could have in terms of being a version of the Colombian legend of El Dorado. I don't know anything about that. I don't understand it, either. If someone wants to explain to me in which specific ways making a movie like this about it could be harmful to anyone (not the legend in itself, I think you can see I know as much), please tell me so I can think critically about it and contrast it. But please, specify the harm and consequences so I can understand them.
Jesus, I'm tired, but I want to say you CAN dislike the movie. I don't give two floating specks of dust whether you do or don't. What I do care about is that most arguments people use to say so are wrong, or rather, lack historical knowledge to support them. Or rather, there is historical knowledge which flat-out cancels them out. There IS negative portrayal on the basis of unthoughtfulness (like Chel and the Aila test), but NEVER in a mean way. On the whole, it's not the unsalvageable blatantly racist skeleton that has to be kept in the closet under lock and key that some people think it is. And, by the way, I'm very curious about why I have yet to see the same discourse about Inca portrayal in "The Emperor's New Groove". Feel free to toss it my way in case it exists and it's just I haven't seen it yet.
If you've reached this point, congratulations. Here's a disturbing little fact about me as a reward: this whole fixation that I have started because in 2020 I had a dream about this Hernán Cortés and Tzekel-kan having sex.
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hi that post about the Velma plot synopsis is literally very obviously an excerpt from a biased third-party article, not what the show is actually about. You can tell via the way the last sentence of the excerpt is worded, as it’s intentionally condescending and meant to portray the show itself in a negative light.
Not to mention, that excerpt gets a couple things wrong, actually. In referring to Daphne only as an “orphan,” it’s effectively omitting the fact that she has two adoptive mothers who are indeed present in her life and have good intentions, regardless of whether or not the effects of their actions are ultimately positive or negative. To be entirely clear, they’re a bumbling pair of lesbian cops who are bad at their job. like yeah acab whatever but my point is that Daphne isn’t the cruel, miserable one-note character that excerpt makes her out to be; it’s all just facets of the character that the show hasn’t even gotten the chance to fully develop yet, because we only have 2 episodes out so far.
And the implications of Fred’s portrayal as rich, white, and privileged…..yeah? i mean, he is? but again, that’s not the only facet of his character we get to see, and it’s very clear that the show has at least some plans in mind for his arc and character journey. You’re not meant to just hate him completely; I’m fairly certain the intent of his character is to watch him slowly change and connect better with the other mystery inc members as we get further into the show.
Because that’s the thing! I’m pretty sure the characters are meant to be assholes to each other right now!! This is a prequel - therefore, we already know they’re all going to end up being friends with each other. VELMA is just showing us that, in this continuity, they weren’t always that way towards each other. That’s the whole point of the show; it’s showing us the journey!
Is it perfect? Absolutely not! Not all of the jokes land perfectly, and I personally think the storytelling & pacing could use a fair bit of revision, but it deeply saddens me that everybody seems to be more focused on insulting the show and its creators rather than engaging in constructive criticism of it.
there are a lot of issues and controversies surrounding the show, I know, but I do have to point out that the exact moment it was revealed that three of the characters would be reimagined as POC, people started tearing the show to shreds, and we barely knew anything else about it! So forgive me for taking all the egregious hatred and disgust people have for it with a hefty grain of salt!!
Ugh, I’m trying to cram as much into one post as possible, but here, let’s talk about the TERF thing. The accusations I’ve (very suddenly) heard of Kaling’s bigotry are DEFINITELY an incredibly important thing to be aware of, and I have no intention of defending her or her behavior, but I am positively BEGGING you guys to look into these things yourself rather than simply taking some internet rando’s word as bible for what is and isn’t ethically pure to consume. I’m literally a trans person, but I’m not going to assume someone’s evil because I saw ONE screenshot of them supposedly liking a transphobic tweet; that’s not a reliable source of information!!! Research her and her actions yourself before coming to a conclusion!
If the things you find out about Kaling make you uncomfortable with engaging with the things she creates or contributes to, that’s entirely your call! HOWEVER, it’s also not an inherently bad thing to watch and engage with things made by people with contrary perspectives to your own; when you keep an open mind and engage with things critically, you’re exposing yourself to various viewpoints, styles, humor, & perspectives that, even if they aren’t necessarily your thing, are still important to understand and be aware of.
by no means am I telling you that you have to watch the show; I’m only asking for everyone to be a bit more open-minded and a bit more civil in their discussion of media as a whole.
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messydiabolical · 11 days
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For the art questions you posted: 🎭🐔🛸! I couldn't choose just one!!
Thank you so much for the asks, I love answering these so the more the merrier! <3
🎭What is the longest time you've spent on a single project? hmm, in terms of literal hours with the canvas open, I believe my Kolyat x Feron one from christmas '23 (nude, so here's the twitter link) took about 70-80 hours. In real time, I worked on that one from September until christmas. 🐔Which part of the creating process do you dislike the most? The self doubt, especially that nasty 'what would people on the internet say' inner critic. For example when I started, I felt this enormous pressure not to do screenshot drawovers, because people online call that 'cheating'. And then i'd struggle to sketch for days and days on a piece that was really supposed to be about doing a colouring study anyway. I've gotten a lot better at giving myself grace but it's always a constant need to remind myself to be kind. Sometimes I want the challenge and will spend a long time freehanding and learning methods at every step of the way. Other times I'm just here to do a pretty drawover, and that's okay. You don't always have to be learning and pushing yourself, especially if you are doing this as a hobby. 🛸 How many pieces are you typically working on simultanesouly at any time? I don't like having lots of WIPs, and I don't like leaving things unfinished. So I generally have just one or two pieces going at any time, and i'd say about 90% of my projects I will complete. I know that's not the norm for most! And I don't say that as a brag either- being able to let go when things don't work out is important. Also if you are learning in a professional capacity i'd imagine it's good to have lots and lots of sketches and warm ups. I think this is just an area of my neurodivergence coming in to play.
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peejsocks · 2 years
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I want to request a story where Steve-O comforts chubby female Reader. Reader is a Jackass cast member, posts a picture of herself with a Jackass themed dress (black sundress with the Jackass skull and red hearts printed all over), and gets some negative comments about her weight from online trolls. Irl, I recently had to deal with online bullying for the same scenario, posted a pic of me wearing the Jackass dress I designed, and while I did get nice comments, I also got a few mean ones about my weight, so I watched some Steve-O videos to cheer me up after this happened. Idk, you can make it turn smutty at the end of you want.
a/n: first of all, i'm so sorry this happened. i hope this story makes you feel loved. if anything like that ever happens again, or if you just want to talk, my DMs and ask box are always open <3 much much love
tags/disclaimers: nsfw; nsfk
Jackass is everything to you. Job, legacy and family. No matter how far your career branched out, it always comes back to the movies that started it all. So it felt obvious to combine your newly picked up hobby and one of the most crucial parts of your life, designing a beautiful black sundress adorned with the famous Jackass skull and delicate red hearts surrounding the piece.
Proud of your creation, it was a no brainer to share it with friends and fans of the franchise by posting a picture of yourself wearing it online.
Initially, all was well, people loved it and complimented your skills, some even asking if you would make it available as merch. Naively riding the high of internet validation, everything comes crashing down when your eyes gloss over a gross comment tearing you apart because of your looks. Before your mind can shut the idea down, you're scrolling through the other comments to see if there are more like it, and you end up finding what you went looking for.
You had always been under relative scrutiny from Jackass fans for joining the crew around the third movie, a bit of an 'intruder' in some people's eyes, but all of the boys received their fair share of criticism so it felt wrong to complain. You figured respecting the loyal followers and allowing them to feel however they wanted could get you in their good graces eventually, but this is too far. It's completely uncalled for and has nothing to do with Jackass itself.
Deleting the mean comments and moving on is no longer an option after noticing people defending you under them, sparking long threads of disgusting insults about your weight and body.
It's no surprise that people on the internet can be horrible, but it would be asking too much of any human being to not fall for it and be affected by personal attacks, even if slightly.
Shutting your laptop, you spend the rest of the day curled under a blanket in your couch, trying to blame the tears on the sappy movie you had put on. Eventually you have to turn off your phone too, because people are calling. At first you believe you are being paranoid, it could have nothing to do with your post, but when the guys' names show up on screen one by one, you're terrified of what the situation might have grown into, so you make yourself unreachable.
The knock on your door is the first thing to remind you of outside life. The intercom didn't ring, so you figured it was your neighbour looking for his cat again.
You should have guessed it was Steve-O instead, he did live close to you. He's holding the white cat in his arms, scratching its head.
"Hey, beautiful."
Leaning on the door frame, you attempt to pet the animal but it moves away. "Cotton doesn't usually like being touched. You're a true cat whisperer."
"Pussy mage, if you will." Vocalizing your disgust, you reprimand his low-hanging joke as the small creature is freed from his grasp and elegantly walks away along the halls.
Steve-O hugs you tight and before you can protest, he's switching your positions so that now he is inside your apartment, knowing you could refuse to let him in but never kick him out.
"What did you do to the doorman? Did you bribe him?"
"I'm famous, dear." His laugh is comforting, but his question is a bucket of cold water. "You're not letting those trolls get to you, are you?"
"Never." You're stiff and your voice wavers, revealing the truth quite effortlessly. "Ok, look, if you're here for a pep talk, I don't need it. I just want to watch movies and not think about it."
"Fine. What are we watching?" He plops down on your couch, stealing the blanket and taking off his shoes.
Steve-O is the best company you could have right now, holding an eternal soft spot for him, so you truly could never ask him to leave.
On the couch, you're forced to sit close in order to share the blanket. It takes a second to feel right, but when he immediately starts asking questions about the plot, you forget everything else.
In between cracking up at stupid Steve-O jokes, heavy lids win the fight against exhaustion, head leaning on a strong shoulder.
Firm hands warming up your skin in constrast to the now cold air replacing the embrace of the old blanket wake you up. Your friend is preparing to lift and carry your body presumably to your bed.
"Woah, no need for that." Dark eyes dart over your face, confused. "I think I'm too heavy."
"Don't be stupid." With that, Steve gets up from the couch, bringing you with him. He sure wasn't the scrawny kid anymore, taking a moment to enjoy feeling secure in a man's arms, his muscles flexing under your weight but not struggling. Casually holding, instead, as if it's nothing short of ordinary.
That doesn't happen to you that often. Maybe you're still asleep, dreaming of a perfect love interest, all the movies you had watched bleeding into your unconscious.
Even though your bedroom was just at the end of the hallway, it felt like you stared at his stoic face in the dark for hours.
"Safe and sound." Steve sets you down on the mattress carefully, and the possibly rusty springs still squeak.
"Old bed." A tight smile, the very one you loved, spread across a tired face, causing glasses to slide down his nose a little. "What time is it?"
"Past eleven, or something." He shrugs, setting a hand on your thigh. It moves up and down, comfortable heat running up your body. "Call me if you need anything, yeah?"
"Wait." It's a split second decision, mind completely overrun by emotion and a need for attention, his attention. "Would you stay? Please? Un-Unless you have something to get to or, uhm, or someone waiting for you, or if you don't want to, obviously…"
"I'm so glad you asked, dude. I really don't feel like walking even three blocks in the cold night air."
Chastising him for even considering laying in your bed in dirty clothes, you're now under the sheets next to a half naked Steve-O. This whole thing is a terrible, awful, self-sabotaging-esque idea because of course you're not going to be normal about it. It's your annoyingly attractive friend who you've had a longing crush on for years, spending the entire day intent on pulling you out of a shitty mood and now showing off a toned chest iluminated by the screen of his phone.
The black rectangle slipping from his fingers and smashing on his nose is what disperses your trance, defogging your brain and giving way for the most sincere boisterous laugh exploding from your chest.
The bed shakes with how much the two of you are laughing, heads pushing back on the pillows, disrupting the quiet building.
"Sorry- just- oh my god, the look on your- so stupid"
Your eyes are shut when Steve sighs loudly, recovering from the fit. "Oh, man, it sucks so bad that you have an adorable laugh."
Before you can ask what that is supposed to mean, lean fingers start tickling your sides. At first, it's entertaining, unable to resist the urge to squirm and giggle, but soon the realization that he is feeling your body hits.
He notices the quick change in your expression. "What, you don't like my hands there?"
Breathing uneasy, everything is deafeningly silent again.
"Don't tell me it's because…" His tone is explicit, enough to uncover how well aware he is of you. "Oh, no, beautiful. There's no need for that."
Silence is overtaken by unspeakable tension. His voice is lower, more serious. Fingertips in your sides transform into palms pushing your jumper up, thumbs caressing the skin under your boobs.
"Are they better there?" Steve's torso hovers over your unmovable body, non-threatening but demanding, waiting for permission.
Swallowing thickly, you think back to those comments. How quickly you forgot them, how much they did not change who you are, or who you care about, or most importantly, who truly cares about you. With new found boldness, helped by the reminder that there's always going to be more to life than what strangers think, you give an answer.
"They are."
Just like that, chapped lips envelop yours. A million thoughts race through you, but they are quickly brushed off when Steve pulls your body down and straddles your hips.
Part of your hair hangs off the side of the bed as his tongue moves to explore. Separating, you're surprised by his decision to turn on the lamp in your bedside table. "I wanted this for so long, I want to see all of you."
There's no time to focus on the confession, caught off guard by the unapologetic admission he actually wants to look at your body. All of it, as he said. If only he knew the confidence that was sparking inside of you, well, maybe he would be proud.
Steve-O is quick to remove your jumper fully, uncovering your breasts, which he does not hesitate to suck on dotingly. As much as you wish you could say everything you felt, all that comes out is his name, over and over again.
Taking that as encouragement, his raspy tongue frees your nipples to continue traveling down your stomach, biting the soft skin along the way and stopping to leave a hickey among the stretch marks in your hips.
Watching him carefully, some suspicion remains. "You're telling me you like all that? I don't remember seeing thick thighs in any of the girls you dated."
Redirecting his gaze up at you, his eyes look determined, just like when you bet against him on a stunt.
Steve moves back on the mattress, grabbing one of your legs and wasting no time before open-mouth kissing them, covering you in more purple marks and bites. The thought of hoping that's how he eats pussy is interrupted by a barely contained moan from him.
"You mean these?" Digits press where his lips were just a second ago. "Don't go thinking you know everything about me, beautiful."
Your lips are partly open when Steve-O takes them again, expecting his kiss and meeting it with the same hunger this time. The older man takes advantage of your distraction to hook his fingers on the band of your pajama shorts and pull them down, counting on you to kick them off with your feet.
Once that is done with, he moves down one more time, licking his lips at the sight of white lace panties. "May I?"
Nodding, your lower lip gets pulled in by your teeth in anticipation, gaze moving to the ceiling. A deep sigh is not enough, you're moaning louder than this building has probably heard in its entire existence. Safe to say you were right about the similar way he treats your thigh and your clit.
Every muscle is contracting, fingers gripping the sheet and sweat pooling in your back.
"Get out of those damn fucking boxers, Steve-O."
Hesitant to unstuck himself from you, he fumbles with the pockets of his pants looking for a condom while you try and regain control over your body.
Everything after that happens fast.
Steve is now man-handling you from the back, unquestionably bruising your hips with the force of his thrusts. The only thing louder than the wet noises of your friend going in and out of you and the sound of flesh hitting flesh is the moaning.
"So close. Please."
"Cum for me, beautiful, you deserve this."
Climax hits you consecutively, flopping down on top of each other almost instantly, breathing unstable.
It takes a second for either of you to move, and when Steve-O comes back from the bathroom, you can't help but ask. "Where were you keeping all of that these years?"
"In my pants?" He laughs, chest vibrating, head turned towards you on the pillow. The light is still on. "I always knew you looked beautiful in a sweaty mess with crazy hair but it's even better when it's my fault."
Rolling your eyes, you feel the need to thank him. "It was a nice day, better than I expected."
His arms pull you closer, embracing you and whispering. "Maybe we make this a recurring thing, then."
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sleepingdeath-light · 11 months
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Re: an anonymous hate message I just received
as a forewarning for anyone who might read this, below the cut are some pretty awful statements and foul language directed towards me from this anonymous individual. these accusations are why i’m placing my full response under the cut.
but as a tl;dr — someone says awful and upsetting things, death is rightfully upset.
I’m also assuming that this individual is coming from the ‘toh’ fandom based on their statements — which is incredibly disappointing but oh well.
This is the complete message, which I will be breaking down and responding to point by point — so you can see that I’m not editing it to mince anon’s words.
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now let’s get on to the breakdown.
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INTRODUCTION
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I’m sure that I don’t need to tell anyone that this isn’t a good way of introducing your point. Right? If anon is trying to get me on their side or show themselves to be a sympathetic or genuinely concerned person then this is going about it the wrong way entirely. You’re immediately presenting yourself as antagonistic and making yourself not likeable as a speaker.
But don’t worry it gets worse.
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POINT ONE
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They’re not real people, anon, they’re fictional characters. It’s effectively the same as when you take two dolls and make them kiss (as I’m sure most kids did at some point).
I draw the line at rpf or at sexual fiction of characters played by real children/real minors because that’s way too far. For example, smut of the IT (2017?) cast is vile to me in concept and execution.
What you’re talking about is me writing about drawings — lines/pixels with a voice actor — being in sexual situations. Fictional characters can be aged up because they’re, by definition, not real.
And besides you’re definitely in the minority opinion here as the vast majority of requests in my inbox are for hunter. Don’t you think that says something?
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POINT TWO
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Ah yes, non-con. That old beast. Its a dead dove topic and whenever I or another writer in my circle depicts it, it’s done with plenty of explicit warnings about the contents therein.
Again this is fictional content we’re talking about. Dark fiction has always been a thing and will always be a thing.
I’m taking a literature course at uni and we discuss media depicting rape and worse regularly because it’s part of literature. Writing about something doesn’t mean the writer condones that act and you shouldn’t make assumptions of character based on what someone writes.
That’s like critical media analysis 101 — you sound like you’d go after whump writers and call them murder fetishists or something lol. You’re just really not helping your case AT ALL.
Fiction is fiction; repeat until you understand that principle.
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POINT THREE
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Anon has a good point here, actually! Like their phrasing was terrible and accusatory, but if they’d led with this I’d probably be open to discussion. But burying it beneath two accusations and two insults (at minimum) isn’t going to make someone want to actually discuss the error of the system they’re using.
Of course I’m aware that people lie on the internet. I’m not an idiot — we’ve all clicked on the ‘yes I’m 18+’ pop up on dodgy sites before. I’m also aware that most smart minors will lie about their age to begin with because putting anything smaller than ‘18’ in your bio/pinned is basically a bright flashing neon sign shouting that this person is easy prey for a nonce or something along those lines.
Similarly the use of anon is dodgy and the trust system I use with requesters can easily be taken advantage of.
But what you’re incorrect about is that if I have proof of someone telling me that they’re an adult then I will not be at fault for what happens. If a minor lies to get access to an adult space and gets hurt, then that minor is liable for their own hurt — which is unfortunate but inevitable.
I’m not going to force people to give me their government issued I.Ds because I’m not a complete nutter. That would be dangerous for everyone involved and also probably doxxing. Which is, again, a big no-no.
So for as unfortunately dumb as it is, I’m going to be sticking with the honour system for requests for now. If I find a better, safer way then I’ll use that — but as we don’t have that yet, I’ll use what I’ve got available to me.
Thanks for pointing it out though! Like genuinely this is the only good part of this message lol.
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SEND OFF
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You’re already accusing me of being a nonce mate — and over fiction, at that. And to add to it all you didn’t have the gonads to do it off-anon, which is unfortunate but inevitable of this sort of person. And besides you know nothing of my tastes and attractions based on the requests I write.
To be perfectly frank out of all the characters from TOH, I’m only attracted to Belos and Alador. Most of the ‘characters’ that I end up attracted to are played by people much older than me and, also, not cartoons! Like most slashers, the avengers, and hell even Pierce Brosnan in Black Addam lol.
But that’s irrelevant. You shouldn’t come in to random people’s ask boxes accusing them of horrible things and speaking so cruelly. And if you ever do this in the future I’d recommend having the confidence in your statements to do it off anon. Or admit that your opinions are clearly in the minority.
Oh! And as a final note: no this wasn’t ignored and deleted, you got a full response. But you’re right that I don’t care, because you’re spouting complete and utter nonsense.
But oh well, since you want to be deleted so bad, I hope you enjoy your block. Have a wonderful day, anon. I hope you learn to be a better person : )
And to anyone that’s read this far: thank you for your time. I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your day /gen. ^^
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ars0nism · 2 years
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okay, final post on this. my thing with terfs isnt the terfs. im 18, ive been through a lot, i can handle a couple of terfs on my page. what bothers me is the young people, especially young girls & transmascs, that fall into the terf rabbithole on accident.
SO.
heres my quick & easy guide on how i personally check for terfs. PLEASE check for these signs. to protect yourself. ofc not all things immediately mean terf, but this is my personal checklist
rad and or fem in the url (IMMEDIATE red flag)
labrys lesbian flag (somewhat of a red flag, could be innocent young lesbian roped into it. if theyre an adult its a red flag)
if you click on the search icon it will show a bunch of commonly used tags. look at the tags. common tags wpuld be radfem, radical feminism, terfism, gender critical etc
look at where they reblog from. who theyre following if its public. what posts they like if thats public. look at the bios of these. if the terf doesnt have a bio and is trying to be stealthy, oftentimes the people they agree with are open about it. block both while youre at it
queer slur discourse (also done outside of terf circles but far more common among terfs, especially coupled with the "not queer, im lesbian" stuff (though thats understandable and not inherently terfy) and in combination with other red flags)
exclusionism (not inherently terfy but still a good point to look out for)
fixation on wombs and vulvas (immediate red flag no one but terfs is that obsessed with their reproductive organs)
the "LGB" community, or even the "remove the L" because they dont want to associate with gay & bi people
really big hatred of the concept of "genital preference". sexuality is only about genitals to them.
intense man hatred. they hate men so much. (also not an immediate red flag because yeah some of it is warranted but you can tell the difference between joking about trauma/standing up against the patriarchy and straight up... being a terf)
the term "ssa". stands for same sex attraction. (pretty big one i think. i personally have only heard it from terfs.)
febfem. bisexuals who only date women. (also one i didnt know about until like half an hour ago. also a big one)
this is one specific to the current time and might be obsolete soon but if theyre vocal amber heard supporters. those are ALL terfs.
terfs are also often swerfs. hating on sex workers (not the system, the system is fucked and we should recognize it) is terfy !
they like to refer to us (trans people) as a cult. which, to be honest, after this experience, im more likely to call them a cult. (if a terf disagrees with you, get ready for closing anon & gross bullshit in your notes. we have mutual circles, they have them too)
and of course green flags for trans people & trans allies, if they have these the odds of it being a terf are. a lot smaller
pronouns in bio
some variation of lgbtq+
following trans blogs
inclusive
mature fucking human being
and if you're in doubt whether or not its a terf, its better to block an innocent person than to interact with a terf, id say. odds are the innocent person doesnt care.
BUT!
let's say you said something they didn't like and now your post is circling in their shitty little group chat. what then? my suggestion would be to
CLOSE ANON ASKS. once their cult has found your page and realizes you post about trans things, or worse, are trans, they will harass you. anon gives a lot of confidence to send death threats. dont let them.
Block all of them. No, it's not gonna stop new ones from harassing you in their place, but it does make for a pretty nice blocklist.
If you need to, don't hesitate to step away from tumblr for a while. Not everyone can handle harassment, and it's okay to step away if it's too much.
Remember you're worth so much more than any of these terfs. Remember being trans is something to be proud of, remember you are loved, and most importantly, remember they're just terfs on the internet. laugh at them. make fun of them. they may say shitty things, but they can't actually hurt you. (anything that can hurt you, like doxxing, is illegal. get law enforcement if possible if you think you're in actual physical danger)
Best of all is to ignore it. Don't keep talking about it ("take your own advice" im working on it). it's not fun to harass someone who just ignores you.
If you really can't cope, it's okay to close your blog. You don't have to stay. Make a new blog. Only tell your mutuals.
(also, side note, i have a blocklist filled with terfs. i am absolutely down to share this blocklist with you, if you want somewhere to get started)
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2kitsuneao3 · 1 year
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funny little observation i’ve made, but whenever i post in/cest fanfic (whether it be not really in/cest in the case of adoption or not) there’s less comments on it then if it was a straight ship / mlm or wlw - sure this could be because those ships are more popular, but from my time around on the internet and in some larger fandoms sometimes those in/cest ships will be as popular / more popular then main ships so the only conclusion i can come to is ya’ll are just too scared to comment on those fics in the rare case of being caught / called out and like - 
why? 
no genuinely, why? 
because it’s taboo? listen, i implore you, for once if you’re going to navigate the internet in any such way you should 100% explore and interact with the fandoms / pairings that have been labelled as ‘taboo or wrong’ because i promise you it’ll open you up to a lot more conversations about morality and the difference between allowing something in fiction / not allowing it irl and knowing your own boundaries. 
like honestly, i write in/cest, i’ve written sam/xdean for gods sake, and nat/exsam, and wei wuxia/n x jiang cheng; but, on the other hand, do you think i support / could ever support that shit irl? hell no, no fucking way. and maybe it’s because i’ve been doing this shit since i was thirteen, no seriously, but sometimes interacting with fandoms / pairings that others have labelled as taboo and will say ‘you’re a bad person’ if you enjoy / post this, really helps you explore those kind of scenarios (or in this case, pairings) in a safe environment where you are in complete control, you can click out at any seconds, you have all the tags and information going in to know exactly what the story pertains, so that while you’re reading it you can decide whether it’s for you as a person or not - and at the end of it, you’ve still learnt something about yourself / your boundaries / the extent of your own morality etc. it’s the same as exploring those fics that have the tags ‘dead dove do not eat’ - you know exactly what that means, or you should, and you’ve got all the tags to know what it pertains, but if you choose to click on it you in that moment can control exactly how much of it you read, and further your own understanding of yourself in the process while still being completely safe. 
there’s this really cool post i keep finding unintentionally (but ofc i can’t find it now) about exploring the internet critically but also exploring it / into areas which others have labelled as inherently bad / taboo and i’ll see if i can find it / tag it because it explains this so much better than me but like - yeah. 
because it’s the same as like, liking a really fucked up character, right? I love Nir/agi (from AIB), love absolutely everything about him, to his character, his interactions with others, his looks, and i love doing character studies into what makes him the kinda person he is - but do you think i’d ever excuse / allow someone like that in my life irl? hell no! he’s a murderer, a straight up bad guy, and he’d k/ill me without a second thought if i was annoying him - however because of fandom and fanfic (i’m talking mostly about ao3 here with fanfic / spaces to enjoy fanfic) and having spaces on the internet where we can all pool our resources to let others have these experiences also exploring our own boundaries in a safe space, it’s easier than ever to let your own mind expand into areas that others will ostracize you for / call you a bad person for liking. 
just a little rant for 2am haaaah, let me know if any of this made sense. 
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hardestgrove · 2 years
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like not to get too deep on my stranger things shitposting blog but like, people being so rampantly anti billy but lacking and thought or nuance to that argument or trying to moralize their dislike of his character instead of just saying "i just don't like him" (which is literally a valid reason all on it's own) is in part directly because challenging material being removed from school curriculums, the increasingly poor quality of the american education system and the focus on standardized testing. Also a cause of this is places like tiktok which are finely tuned capitalist time sinks that create addicting doom scrolling echo chambers built to both make you feel bad and spoon feed you validation of a limited point of view so they can make money off of you.
In elementary school my art teacher was a ww2 survivor, sometimes he would gather us all in the projector room tell us stories from his childhood instead of showing us slides of Dali and Rembrandt. Not all of them were happy, some people would argue should not have been told to children our age even thought they happen to him in his real life when he was around 12. But these stories are foundational to me and my understanding of the world now. I loved this man deeply and he helped to inspire my love of art and creativity and helped art be the field I want to work in to this day.
I read Maus in high school which people have recently spoke of banning and watched Persepolis. I took a class about the literary use of the "Monster" and the "Other" where we read things like Frankenstein and watched Bladerunner and talked about the groups these monsters where metaphors for. We had a whole class discussing how many "monsters" are just people with conditions that were then demonized for their otherness (did you know the insult "pinhead" originated as an insult/slur against people with malformed skulls usually from microcephaly who were then exploited in freak shows?). I took a course on satire where we read A Modest Proposal (which is a slam against the English landlords who were treating the irish horrifically at the time, not a dude proposing they ate babies).
In college I took an entire mandatory course in my freshman year at art school called critical inquiry where we went through all the different kinds of theory-- Marxist, feminist, queer etc.
All media has a message, even dumb popcorn blockbuster shows. In some ways it is all propaganda. Critical thinking is important to understanding the world around you. Being able to understand multiple points of view is critical to interacting with the world. Schools are more and more less likely to teach these skills for reasons ranging from no time to actively suppressing them which leaves children open to getting a lot of info online with very little way of engaging with it in a way where they can think for themselves and pick it apart. This fandom skews young and it shows because there's very little genuine thinking, discussion and analysis of the text and a lot of frankly poorly considered takes and dickhead behavior.
I urge younger folks to engage with problematic content and listen to video essays and podcasts and whatever that explain critical thinking concepts and different kinds of theory used in analysis. If it feels like your school isn't teaching you how to be able to really seriously think for yourself please use the nightmarish hellscape that is the internet to find people who will and even when you find those sources be critical of them and never completely assume they're right, always ask "what's their angle?". Learn about dog whistles and indoctrination tactics. Learn how to protect your brains and how to engage with texts more completely for your own growth, entertainment and education and so you don't get blindsided by fucked up subtexts you didn't even realize where there and accidentally let shape your thinking.
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