#you are family: EREMIKA | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jjkeremika · 6 months

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it is hot (with you; love you)

description: eren and mikasa make love in a hot spring… that is all…

pairing: eren x mikasa, eremika (aot, snk)

universe: og/original

**smutty**

Eren found peace in the hot springs, often spending his free time hiking well within Wall Maria to the hot spring, sauna and spa resort in the mountains.

A small cabin complex for weary travelers, wedged into the side of the mountain, small pools of hot water scattered, isolated. The long trees and tall rock structures surrounded the spring like a cocoon, wooden planks imitating walls creating roof-ed structures.

Eren would sit naked on the smooth wooden surface, let the steam tickle his skin with a warm embrace. The hot dewy air made it easier to breathe, easier to bear the reality and responsibilities of this world. The bright shine of the near-setting sun on the water highlighted what little beauty was left to enjoy, made it more difficult to close his eyes on it.

He heard a splash and ignored it, keeping his eyes closed and breathing meditatively, spacing out his breath into three intervals of five seconds: five second inhale, five second hold, five second exhale. He was always alone here, the splashes always being a small animal or a twig falling in.

Being lost in the crystal-clear air of the mountains had its perks, one being that rarely did he encounter anyone. No one to ask who he was, why he was there, where he was going to, who he was running from. He never had an answer for those questions, or at least never a good one.

Never having to introduce himself, never having to actively be himself... The feeling erupting in his chest, like he had been uplifted from the ancient curse, like the weight of eternal and immortal expectations had dissolved like acid kissing skin... A taste of freedom.

It could only be made better with the company of select friends, the presence of certain family, the close shared proximity with the love of his life.

He thought of her... of leaving her behind. It was inevitable, and he was searching through his dreams for some solution to stop it, to live on by her side. His attempts felt futile, and as he sat in the most beautiful place alone, wondering if maybe he’d end up wasting the rest of his time cluelessly searching for a way to extend it, instead of spending it with her and everyone else too.

He used his forearm to wipe the water droplet from near his chin. Another perk of the sauna is, if it was hot enough, the sweat was indistinguishable from the tears.

*********

Eren had been feeling particularly dirty today and he'd had an awful premonition that were getting more horribly more vivid and despite Erwin and Hange's disapproval Levi still used Eren as titan-target practice. So it was a long day, and he really wanted nothing more than to hurry to the hot springs.

But Mikasa had insisted on visiting the replacement graves for their parents today, citing that it might be the last time in a while before they can visit again, and only Eren knew just how correct that statement was.

They were silent on the walk there, their bodies actively fighting the magnetic pull between their fingers as they walked.

At the grave site, they had become aware of the temperature drop, and Mikasa started shivering slightly, her muscles too fatigued from training to resist the cold.

He draped his sweater over her arm, his hands lingering on her shoulders as he thoughtfully placed the fabric in a way to keep her warm. The touch from his hands was warm enough, the area instantly heating up her skin and radiating throughout her body.

It was the walk around the cemetery, no particular destination, when Mikasa finally broke the silence: "How are you doing, Eren?"

He stopped walking momentarily, the question catching him off guard. He thought about what he was doing all the time; never how he was doing. Did he even want to burden her with that?

Was there any point in lying? This was Mikasa, she knew so much about him she could likely tell if he were lying from the sound of his voice.

And yet she trusted him so deeply she’d also reject that.

She stopped a couple paces in front of him and turned to face him. He debated how much to divulge. The details were long and nuanced and boring and he was still sorting them out.

“I'm... adjusting," Eren answered neutrally after pondering. Mikasa eyed him carefully, squinting as the final ray of golden light struck her face, lighting up her eyes.

He smiled lightly as he stared her, heat erupting from the center of his chest and spiraling out like an untamed fire. He suppressed the forming tears in the corner of his eyes, blinking them away. He always did think she was beautiful. He never told her that.

Maybe he should tell her that. "I'm happy right now." He smiled softly. With you.

She turned around to face ahead. She was skeptical, but she also doubted that skepticism, leaving her at a crossroads. He felt the stinging signal spread to his tear-glands, forcibly swallowing to take his mind off the sensation. "That's good. Maybe we should visit here more." She started walking again.

Maybe it was because deep down he wanted her to know that despite everything, he was still human, and he still needed joy and relief to survive; maybe it was because he wanted the most serene place in the world to be her surviving memory of him; maybe it was because the weight of the world was crushing him and the strongest soul in existence stopped in front of him and he so desperately didn't want to be alone.

Eren took a rushed couple steps and grabbed her wrist, pulling her to a stop and causing her to twist her body to face him. "I want to take you somewhere. Come with me."

He didn’t wait for a response, just started leading without looking back to see if she truly stayed. She followed Eren to the mountains obediently, asking questions at first but stopping after becoming frustrated with Eren's cryptic answers. This place was sacred, exposing this place meant exposing his remaining solitude, his last freedom. Or maybe she'd be the spoon making it easier to taste.

When they'd finally arrived, Eren quickly rushed Mikasa through the main entrance and out the back. Mikasa was confused as there was little time to process her thoughts and surroundings, but she was amazed at how comfortable Eren was here, that alone was strikingly obvious.

He brought her to his most frequented spring, his favorite because of how isolated yet comforting it was. The enclosure was small and warm, moss covering the rocks and wisteria--fake, maybe--hanging between. He stopped in front of the open door and held his arm out, gesturing for her to enter. She did, glancing around in wonder, still taking it all in.

"A hot spring?" Mikasa asked, turning around to face the doorway. "This is where you come every day." It was more of a processing statement than a question and it didn't necessarily require an answer, but Eren nodded anyway. His future and dreams were cloudy and ambiguous; he didn't want tonight to be.

He started taking his shirt off, already warming up from the steam accumulating in the loosely closed-off room. "I love it here," he answered quietly, eyes gazing around the room, noting the small differences from yesterday. He moved on to remove his shorts.

Mikasa's face erupted into various shades of pinks and reds, her eyes widening slightly and fixating on Eren's eyes, biting her lip to relieve the tension from holding her gaze above his sculpted collarbones.

He shifted slightly to pull the short off his foot and Mikasa's eyes glanced at the glistening sweat forming on his sharp collarbones, pointing like an arrow towards the tough ridges that make up his abs.

She licked her lips, catching glimpses of his firm ass as he stepped into the spring, wading to the middle where it reached his naval. She gulped harshly as the water kissed up his thighs, instantly hugging his skin.

"I can't describe it," Eren sighed, running his hands over his face and letting the hot water forge different trails to his chest, his brown hair turning black as it absorbed the water. Mikasa's eyes followed the sweat traveling down his chest, watching it culminate into the reflection of the same site and watching the process in reverse. "You have to try it, Mikasa."

She pursed her lips, hesitant, before complying by slowly undoing the buttons on her shirt. She could feel Eren's eyes on her, intensely watching the finite movements of her fingers caressing the button, and she felt the heat rising to her cheeks. The thought of asking him to do it for her crossed her mind.

She shrugged off the top and her hands moved to the buttons on her pants, surprised at the increased breathability for her skin. Mikasa briefly caught Eren lick and bite his lip as he kept his eyes trained on her hands.

Eren waded closer, the water line settling now just above his hips. The water lapped at the paler skin, inching threateningly closer to where his cock was starting to harden. His breath hitched at the sight of her bending over to pull the pants over her knees, her cleavage rounding and the weight of her boobs distorting the structure, starting to fall out of the bra.

He kept his eyes fixed on her chest, fully aware of her gaze on him, as she started to stand up and stepped out the pants, leaving them on the floor.

She placed her hands delicately on the thin straps of her lace panties, and she was secretly psyched at her bold choice this morning. Eren stepped forward, the water loudly splashing out of the way, a splash lapping at her feet.

"Wait," he said quickly, "wait." He looked up at her from in the pool, the water to his knees. He held one hand up to her. "May I?" There was a hopeful rejuvenation sparkling in his eyes, an unspoken promise on his tongue.

His hands were inching towards her hips, giving in to an unseen magnetic pull, like he already knew she'd say yes. She'd paused in disbelief, her body becoming unbelievably warm. "Mika?"

As soon as the breathless "Yes," landed in one ear, Eren's hands snapped to her hips, holding the thin delicate fabric so tightly in his rough hands. His palms and forearms rested against the length of her thick thighs, the fading light still highlighting the muscle.

Eren took a slight step forward, disturbing the peace of the water and pressed his face to her crotch, still clutching onto the panty straps, like he'd drown if he let go. Eren inhaled deeply, a shiver ran down his spine and pulsed right to his cock because she smelled so, weirdly delicious.

He swallowed the saliva building on his tongue and rested his chin just above the top panty line. He stared up at her to find her staring at him, both hands reaching to his hair for stability. He could feel her heart beat to the pelvic muscles; she could feel the panty fabric dampen.

His throat was dry and he was at a loss for words as he stared at her and slowly started tugging down the straps. He stopped when the fabric had bunched just above the lips, letting them teasingly peek out at himself, and he licked his lips. Eren bit the fabric quickly, pulling back, looking up to make eye contact with it in his teeth before abruptly letting it recoil back and roughly yanking the rest of the panties down.

His hands immediately wrapped to her butt cheeks, grabbing one in each hand, like they were his new life support in the still pleasant waters. Mikasa moaned as he fondled the skin, grabbing and folding the soft flesh in his strong, rigid grip.

Meanwhile his mouth pressed kisses like it was paying a nonexistent fare as his mouth ventured lower, lips meeting lips. Her soft gasps served as conductors, waving him on. He sucked firmly, licking out exploritorily, smirking as his tongue registered the taste of her.

Eren lowered one hand from her ass cheek to between her thighs and swirled his thumb in the fluid. She was more wet than the steamed air.

He smirked at the gasp Mikasa released as his thumb cautiously pressed between the labia, his tongue following his finger and his mind making mental notes of where he'd touched that she was the loudest.

His thumb slid easily on her wet skin, alternating pressure with light thin tongue flicks or hard flat licks. Butterflies and extreme heat erupted in her stomach, spreading across her body like wildfire instantaneously.

"Oh, Eren!" she moaned loudly, clutching onto his scalp and pushing her weight onto him slightly, her knees wobbling from the pleasure.

Eren firmly grabbed one thigh in his hand and guided it to rest on his shoulder, his other hand supporting her standing leg. He supported her weight and she pressed into him and tightened her thigh to his face as he continued to lick hungrily at her clit, happier with this angle, with the weight of her thigh against his cheek.

After a few moments he smacked her cheek and pulled his head away, staring up at her with shiny eyes and a moist mouth. “On the ground,” he ordered.

Mikasa instantly obeyed, scampering onto the cold stone ground and sitting down. She hummed as the strangely cool rock soothed the hot stinging of the smack.

He leaned over her a heart’s beat later. Within seconds he was hovering over her legs, manhandling and kissing up her thighs, biting at the skin and licking to make up for it.

Eren moaned when he tucked his nose to her pussy and delicately touched his tongue to her clit again, his hands gripping her thighs that squeezed together, blocked by his head, pressing against his cheeks instead.

The pleasure went on for minutes, the sound an ungodly symphony, before the skin became too raw and too sensitive and Mikasa had to push his face away.

She was aching to catch her breath, her chest heaving, her heart racing, her pulse electrifying. He was smirking at her, also breathing deeply, like he were willing to sacrifice air to drink more of her. His eyes sparkling like he were staring at an angel; she was shining with a halo of sweat and condensation.

Mikasa opened her mouth to say something, barely got the semblance of an “I” out when Eren had lunged to her, the magnetic pull becoming too overwhelming to ignore anymore. Their mouths collided, his hand reaching out to hold her in place, and it felt like the steam from the sauna had penetrated their barriers.

She had moved to hover over his lap, lower thighs kissing but upper thighs barely touching, yearning out and aching to close the space. Eren’s hands were too busy exploring her breasts and upper back to pull her closer, and he was too overstimulated to focus on the drops landing on his hard cock, the mixed droplets of his saliva and her discharge.

Eren’s brain was short-circuiting: there was too much of her to focus on, and there were so many sensations of her skin of his to process. She was overwhelming.

Eren loudly moaned when her hand shyly reached for his cock, confidently gripping it yet stroking it coyly. The contradictory strokes sent electrifying waves of pleasure to his brain, pumping more blood back to his cock so he could feel it more.

The noises blissfully slipped out of his mouth as she tugged on him, kissing and nipping softly at the skin on his neck while bouncing lightly on her knees, letting her clit just grace his tense thigh, the ghostly friction teasingly divine.

When the heat boiling inside became too much and the heat from the moist air made the sweat stick to his skin, Eren roughly gripped her bum with both hands and pulled her onto her lap.

She fell into him, yelping at the sudden motion then quickly moaning at the friction between her wet clit and his thigh, the moist sheen between causing her to slide towards his crotch, his hard cock upright wedged between their abdomens.

He waited until she made eye contact before kissing her, brushing a strand of hair from her eyeline then holding her neck. He used his other hand to guide her hips as she rocked back and forth, both of them moaning softly into the other’s warm mouth.

Mikasa used her hand to lather his cock in the wetness that had gathered between her legs, the mixture of sauna steam and sweat and saliva and fluid. Eren’s eyes screwed shut and his face twisted in pleasure at the movements, pulling away from the kiss and softly moaning her name, his grip on her skin tightening.

The steam was infiltrating his mind, he could feel the water lift the weight of everything despite the very real muscular weight shifting in his lap. He felt the buoyant feeling in his chest, lifting the shackles.

“Mikasa,” he started softly, tears welling into his eyes, “whatever happens…” He tucked his nose into her neck, unable to look at her. A hot tear slid down his cheek. The words choked in his throat, making it hard to breathe.

Her hand firmly gripped his cheeks and forced him to look at her. She was smiling so softly, a look that made the warmth of the sauna air around them feel cold. Her thumb unknowingly wiping away the tear.

“I know, Eren,” she replied soothingly, rubbing her thumb once or twice against his cheekbone. “Me too.” He returned her smile before she kissed him gently, slowly, so slowly Eren wondered if time had been paused. “Always,” she murmured against his lips.

“Always,” he whispered quickly in agreement, foreheads pressed together, eyes closed.

She lowered onto his cock, the explosive burst of electricity inside drastically drowning out their quiet tones, amplified the feeling ten thousand-fold.

Eren’s lips hovered over her chest, panting, periodically pressing kisses or nips to the goose bumped skin. He pawed between her bum and hips as he rocked his hips in rhythm with her bounce, drinking in her loud moans.

The motion was slow, not greedy like before. The kisses were softer and more tender, the touches were longer and warmer. The pleasure felt amplified somehow, like the crowded steam air made it impossible for it to evaporate, keeping it condensed inside them, making every touch and every movement and every kiss feel so much more powerful.

He gently rolled them over, carefully placing his hand behind her head to prevent it from hitting the hard rock.

Her nails clawed into his back, breaking through the steam-heated skin but stopping at the strong muscle, leaving raised red reminders for tomorrow.

He thrusted in and out, slowly, taking his time, like he had all of it in the world. Mikasa’s fingers clawed at his pecs with one hand and the other grabbed a fistful of Eren’s overgrown hair, dragging him closer.

When the sensation in her pelvis spread to the rest of her body and her toes started to curl, she wrapped her arms underneath Eren’s shoulders and held him close, eliminating as much of the distance between their skin. The sweat acted like magnetic glue, pulling and sticking their bodies together with intricate forces.

She moaned loudly and unapologetically, taking each thrust as he whispered compliments and novelties in her ear, telling her she looked so gorgeous like this, being fucked by him.

She was too breathless to tell him he looked and felt godly, hand crafted by a higher power. She worried he’d laugh at her anyway.

Eren was rapidly approaching his climax, and from the way her thighs clenched around his waist—so tight practically preventing him from moving—he could tell Mikasa was too.

He pushed deeper, fighting against the strength of her thighs around him to pull out ever so slightly and using even more force to push deeper inside. Only two hard pumps and he came inside her, Mikasa still grinding herself against his overstimulated cock, causing him to choke out her name and jerk his hips back, which her hips instinctively chased.

Her thighs loosened around him and he slipped out. He layed onto the cool stone and pulled her into his arms, resting her head onto his chest, her skin hot and red and sweaty.

He stared at the wooden ceiling, wondering if his vision was so blurry because of her or the steam. He closed his eyes. He didn’t even care if it was blurry. He was in his favorite place with his favorite person, living in his blissful freedom.

She lifted her head a little to look at Eren, their eyes and lips aligning. “Mikasa… I…” She stared at him with a happy, cozy smile, like the ones they’d wear when they snuggled with his mother by the fireplace when they were kids—at home.

The words choked in his throat. Tears welled in both their eyes, but her expression didn’t waver. He kissed her instead, mouthing the words into her mouth, etching them inside with his tongue.

He relaxed into her touch, fell into her intoxicating kiss all over again, when she carved the reciprocal sequence of letters into his mouth.

Love you.

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marosina · 3 months

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Eren + Forms of Love

EreMika: Like waking up from a nap, realizing you’ve been allowed to snooze half the day away. The wordless understanding and support of family. A love often taken for granted in the moment, but deeply appreciated in retrospect. A lack of urgency from the sureness of fate that intertwines souls beyond mortality. Comfort.

EreMin: Like being ripped awake from a nightmare so you no longer have to suffer. The confused, and desperate clinging to someone you trust for comfort and direction. A love necessary for survival. For growth. A repeated promise, firm and unwavering, that not even hellfire can cut through. Passion.

Both are needed.

#attack on titan #eren jaeger #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot #eren yeager #eremin #eremika #eren x armin #eren x mikasa #Eren/armin #eren/mikasa #armin arlert #mikasa ackerman #aot analysis #Eren Yeager analysis #Eren jaeger analysis #attack on titan analysis

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strscrossed · 4 months

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kiss of death — part i

and here i present the ballerina/mafioso au. it's a slow start but i always like having a setup. anyway, eren's a mafia underboss along with his brother zeke. grisha is the boss and women are kept out of the family business. thanks @likesunsetorange for reading this over and also enabling me! 💕

eremika. 2.5k. explicit.

“And what do you mean you won’t be joining us for dinner?”

Eren glances at his father for a little assistance. His mother’s voice is low, something dangerous stirring behind the calm. At this point, Eren would rather be in enemy territory, without a gun, than deal with Carla Jaeger.

“It’s last minute but a business associate's daughter has a ballet recital and he’s treating us to dinner after. Sorry, mom. Can I take a raincheck?

The key to a good lie is a half-truth. He does, in fact, have to attend a ballet tonight. Not with a business associate but his mother isn’t to know that under any circumstances. He worries for a moment because his mother is quiet. Too quiet, in fact.

“Always with the rainchecks,” she mumbles, shaking her head. She glares at him for two seconds, narrowing her eyes before sighing, conceding defeat.

When he was younger, he had a tell. His ears would turn red and his mother had a habit of pinching them whenever she would catch him in one. But adulthood has turned him into a seasoned liar.

“And you couldn’t handle this because…?” Carla glares at her husband, who sits on the sofa cross-legged, reading a newspaper. Grisha Jaeger is afraid of no one. Except, maybe, his wife.

“I’m close to retirement, dear. The boys are grown now, it’s time they got involved in matters of the family business. If I keep doing it, they’ll never learn anything. And I’m not getting any younger.

Zeke, who stands a few feet away, snorts quietly. Grisha’s “fragile old man” shtick would be laughable to anyone but his wife. Carla shakes her head. Again, a sigh of defeat as her husband gives her those weary eyes. Eren has to bite his tongue to keep the laugh from escaping.

“Eren’s hardly around anymore,” she says, shaking her head. “Can I at least have a meal with my boy once a week?”

He can’t say no to her.

“Of course, mom.”

She sits back in her chair, teacup in hand. She mourns time lost with her son but unbeknownst to her, she is living comfortably because of all this. And to keep all this, he has to break yet another promise to his mother.

“I need to head out now,” he tells everyone, with Grisha and Zeke nodding and Carla sighing.

“Who is going with you?”

“Armin and Floch,” he answers. At the mention of Floch’s name, he sees her face pinch a little. No, he’s not having this conversation again. She’s made her distaste for that young man abundantly clear. He doesn’t want to stick around to hear her ask his father, yet again, why he keeps him around.

“Bye,” he says and he’s out the door before his mother can get another word in.

➽───────────────────❥ ➽───────────────────❥

The fresh air fills his lungs as he closes the door behind him. His mother still doesn’t suspect a thing and that’s how he wants to keep it. It’s a dirty, grimy world that only the men of the family are privy to. If she really knew what the real family business was…

He doesn’t want to even entertain that idea. These are the rules. They exist for a reason. And he stopped feeling bad about lying to her years ago. It’s a lesson that’s been beaten into him since he was sixteen years old.

Eren slides into the front seat of the car. Floch is driving and Armin takes his place in the backseat. Neither man makes an effort to converse with each other and that’s fine. Their bickering is a source of Eren’s frayed nerves too often.

“Ackerman soldiers were spotted frequenting the ballet, huh?” Eren asks. It’s a rhetorical question.

“Quite a few of them actually,” Floch responds, his eyes glued to the road.

“It’s because one of their own is this year’s prima ballerina,” Armin adds. “A large number of them are said to be in attendance this evening.”

“Frequent the ballet, Arlert? How do you even know that?” Floch asks.

Eren stays quiet as he glances at Armin’s unamused expression in the rearview mirror. Thankfully, he’s not the explosive type.

“Well, if you must know, knowing about different things helps me navigate and infiltrate a number of different circles. You might want to culture yourself a little more, Floch.”

Oh, here they go.

“So, one of their own, huh? Old Kenny’s extorting ballet companies now?” Eren snorts. “His niece wanted to become a ballerina so good ole Uncle Kenny made it happen? Never took him to be such a fucking softie.”

No, actually, if that is the case, it’ll be easier to get under the old fucker’s skin.

“Actually, I hear Mikasa Ackerman is a once in a generation talent. And just in case, tonight’s performance is a ballet called Giselle. It’s about a young woman who falls in love with a nobleman and when they can’t be together she dies of heartbreak but that’s not where it ends—”

“I don’t care, Armin,” Eren cuts him off. “I don’t care about ballet or the girl. We’re going there for one reason and one reason only — to watch the Ackerman’s every move. Everything else is worthless and irrelevant.”

He hears Armin sink back into his seat, sighing.

Eren does his best not to twist his face in annoyance. A ballet of all places. He never thought he’d be caught dead at one of those…

➽───────────────────❥ ➽───────────────────❥

Kenny Ackerman is nowhere to be seen. Naturally, his old ass couldn’t be bothered to show up anywhere someone could see him. Levi Ackerman, however, is seated in the very front row. Armin manages to get them balcony seats so they can see everything.

It’s the most boring observation ever because the Ackerman associates and soldiers are just seated there.

This is why soldiers and lower level soldiers are sent to do this crap. Now he has to sit through a two hour long ballet and pretend to know what’s going on.

Occasionally, the man to Levi’s right will lean over and whisper something to his ear. He simply nods, giving nothing away.

“What are they saying?” Floch mutters to himself, squinting as if to read the lips.

Armin, meanwhile, is observing their surroundings. It’s entirely possible that they’ve been spotted.

“None here,” he assures Eren after a while.

Before he can say anything, the theater lights dim.

Eren knows jackshit about ballet. He doesn’t care to know what’s going on. The arts, the gentler things in life, were things he never cared to become acquainted with. So when the lights dim and the sound of violins fill the theater, he groans. He hears a lady gasp and jump behind him and he can’t help but scoff. It’s nothing compared to the sound of gunfire, bones breaking, or knives cutting through skin.

The Ackerman party, however, stops talking. Their eyes are glued to the stage and, unwillingly, Eren turns his attention to the stage. The whole production is colorful. Too colorful. It’s an eyesore.

He has no idea what’s going on. There are several dancers on stage at the beginning and then it’s just two guys. No one’s talking, obviously, it’s a ballet not a play. Armin’s probably watching completely enthralled, but he’s not impressed. He leans back in his chair, bored out of his mind as he watches them prance around the stage.

He’d never willingly show up to these things. But, when his father received word of a large gathering of Ackerman, of course he had to show up for it.

If the Ackerman are here, he needs to keep an eye on all of their activities. They might be here for the girl, but that’s immaterial for Eren.

He doesn’t care about ballet.

He doesn’t care for the girl—

His thoughts come to a screeching halt when a young woman appears on the stage. She looks around, and prances around the stage. And just like that, Eren is drawn right into the performance.

She’s graceful, her movements are so natural, so effortless. It’s like she belongs up there. Whatever she’s doing — whoever she’s playing — she embodies the role perfectly.

If he knows nothing else about ballet, he knows this much.

“That’s Mikasa Ackerman,” Armin leans in to whisper in his ear. “This year’s prima ballerina.”

He doesn’t know what the hell is going on but it gets sad pretty quickly, he assumes. He hears sniffling behind and near him. Floch looks endlessly bored and Armin, as predicted, is really into the performance.

Eren is focused on his dancer.

If he could compare her face to anything, it would be the moon. It is the illuminated beauty in the dark of the night and even from here, her eyes light up like the millions of stars. Only hers are brighter.

It goes on for two hours, which Eren decides is not long enough. He’ll watch her perform all day and night if that’s what it takes.

When the curtains close and everyone stands up to clap, he cannot bring himself to do so. His beautiful dancer is no longer in front of him and he finds no reason to celebrate that.

“Well, that was uneventful,” Floch mutters disappointingly. “I thought they might actually try something. I thought we might actually gain an advantage over them.”

Oh, right, they had a job to do.

“Floch, if you thought they were coming to a ballet, which by the way one of their own is performing at, to try and pull something you’ve set your expectations way too high.”

“Yeah, well if you haven’t noticed, this is our territory—”

“—technically, no it’s not.”

“What? Are you secretly on their side, Arlert? Because it sounds to me like you are.”

“Would you two shut up?” Eren growls, prompting the two of them to shut their mouths. “Armin, is she set to be in any more shows?”

“I can check but if she’s the prima ballerina, you can bet on it.”

Well, he is a betting man. And he always wins.

“Then we’ll keep coming back. Sooner or later, they’ll start conducting business around here. We should watch for that.”

He receives no protest. He does his best to keep a poker face but as he exits the theater, the corners of his turn up slightly…

➽───────────────────❥ ➽───────────────────❥

“So?” Grisha asks, closing the door behind him. Eren and Zeke stand side by side as Grisha walks back to his desk, settling down and making himself comfortable before Eren allows himself to answer.

“Nothing special. The Ackerman girl is part of the ballet, so they were serving as glorified bodyguards. The three of us watched them the whole time and nothing happened.”

Disappointing news to say the least. So much for this being a golden opportunity to strike against the Ackerman. As always, they manage to elude them by doing absolutely nothing.

“Even so, continue to watch the ballet,” Grisha instructs. “One evening will tell us nothing. And if the girl is part of the ballet, well they’ll frequent that theater. Perhaps, old Kenny Ackerman might show up.”

Fat chance.

“And Zeke,” he turns to his eldest son. “Are the girls of any use?”

“Nope,” his brother answers. “The men don’t frequent brothels. In fact, the girls haven’t heard of either of them.”

“Damn it!” his father curses, pounding the table with his fists. The whole thing is a little over dramatic in Eren’s opinion.

Weaker men cower before Grisha Jaeger. He is someone that you don’t want to piss off. In all fairness, the Jaegers in general are people you don’t want to piss off. The two brothers are the only ones immune to their father’s fear tactics. Though, he is certainly not just talk. He wouldn’t be in this position otherwise.

“It is decided then,” Grisha mumbles, pinching the bridge of his nose. “The Reiss and the Tyburs agree that this cannot continue.”

There is a tenuous peace between the families. Initially, each family controlled a third of the island and conflicts broke out through the generations. Eren’s grandfather realized there were more benefits to keeping these families as allies than enemies. Though tenuous is the best way to describe whatever alliance they had going.

“And what does that mean?” Zeke questions.

Grisha responds with a small smile.

“I won’t keep you as you two have more work to do. I have arranged it. Zeke, you are to marry Rod Reiss’ eldest daughter, Frieda. And Eren, you are to marry Willy Tybur’s younger sister, Lara. You are to meet with them, court them, and the official engagement will be two months from today. It is done. You two will honor it.”

What century was this?

“What the fuck, old man?” Eren growls and two pairs of eyes are on him.

“What was that?” his father asks, daring him to repeat it.

“You just sold us to the Reiss and Tyburs? You just want us to go along with it? What the fuck?”

Grisha’s not used to having his authority questioned. Sometimes Eren is going to whine but usually he doesn’t have an issue doing his father’s bidding. Extort the local jeweler? No problem. Take care of a guy and dispose of his corpse? Done. Spy on a couple of low level Ackerman associates? He can do that in his sleep.

Marriage though? Fuck no. That was different. That is something sacred and just for him.

“You don’t have a choice. You’re going to go through with this, Eren. I’ve given you way too much freedom. You’re marrying Lara Tybur. End of discussion. You have dinner reservations tomorrow night at 8 pm. Make sure you’re not late and I’ll know if you two fuck this up. Now get the hell out of my office.”

As the door closes behind the two of them, Eren is prepared to stomp down the hall but Zeke’s hand on his shoulder stops him.

“Careful, Eren,” he warns. “Step out of line and the old man isn’t going to hesitate to give you the kiss of death.”

Eren scowls, “And when did you become the obedient son? ”

“You didn’t seem to have an issue when he decided that you’d join the family business. You don’t have an issue doing his dirty work. But you draw the line at marriage. Interesting. Is there someone?”

“Fuck off, Zeke! It’s entirely fucking different and you know it! Does there have to be someone? And you’re one to talk! Pieck Finger is it?”

“Watch it, Eren,” Zeke warns him, all amusement vanishing from his face.

“Hit a nerve? Does the old man already know? Is that why you’re so okay with going along with it?”

Zeke narrows his eyes, “I suggest you keep your mouth shut and do as you’re told.”

“Whatever. I’m tired.”

He stomps off. Zeke might be okay with this, but he definitely isn’t. He’ll do anything for this family but this was too much! And without even consulting the two of them. Shouldn’t he have a say in who he marries?

As he silently rages, images of Mikasa Ackerman moving gracefully around the stage flood his mind. And all the rage dissipates into thin air…

#ballerina/mafioso au #eremika #fic #em tumblr fic

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youre-ackermine · 20 days

Text

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin // Attack on Titan

Fanfiction, headcanons & moodboards posted here on Tumblr

Fanfiction & headcanons posted on AO3

English is not my usual language

Posted: 03/30/2024 || Last update: 03/30/2024

Levi Ackerman x Reader

Under the Mistletoe • Tumblr // AO3

Don't you dare! • Tumblr // AO3

Levi Ackerman x Hange Zoe (Levihan)

Sunburst • Tumblr // AO3

Belated Birthday • Tumblr // AO3

Echo • Tumblr // AO3 • for @dont-f-with-moogles

Dumbstruck • Tumblr // AO3

Night Out • Tumblr // AO3

Flushing • Tumblr // AO3

Lips like Sugar • Tumblr // AO3 • fanart by wolfstar13_ on Instagram

Troublée (part one) • Tumblr // AO3

Levi Ackerman x Petra Ral (Rivetra)

[coming soon]

Levi Ackerman x Erwin Smith (Eruri)

[coming soon]

Levi Ackerman x Miche Zacharias (Rivamike)

[coming soon]

Levi Ackerman x Hange Zoe x Erwin Smith (Erurihan)

[coming soon]

Hange Zoe x Pieck Finger (Pikuhan)

Behind the Scenes • Tumblr // AO3

Hange Zoe x Erwin Smith (Eruhan)

[coming soon]

Erwin Smith x Reader

[coming soon]

Erwin Smith x Miche Zacharias (Mikeeru/Erumike)

[coming soon]

Levi Ackerman

Levi's Birthday 2023 + moodboard • Tumblr // AO3

[coming soon]

Levi Ackerman x Hange Zoe (Levihan)

Postwar!Levihan Valentine's Day 2024 + moodboard • Tumblr // AO3

Our First Christmas + moodboard • Tumblr // AO3

Sunday Walk • Tumblr // AO3 • inspired by @ashh-ketchup 's fanart

Hange Zoe x Erwin Smith (Eruhan)

[coming soon]

Jean Kirstein x Reader

Jean Kirstein x Fem!Reader Valentine's Day 2024 + moodboard • Tumblr // AO3

Levi Ackerman

Love Bites (NSFW) with @leviismybby • Tumblr // AO3

Levi's Fingers (NSFW) • Tumblr // AO3

Levi Ackerman / Levi Week 2023 Event

for @leviweek2023

Day 1 Tea Shop

Day 2 Underground City

Day 3 Affection and Fondness

Day 4 Dad / Family

Day 5 Vampire AU // No Name Band

Day 6

Day 7

Day 8

Levi Ackerman x Reader

TattooArtist!Levi for @stellar-smth || fanfiction Under your Skin

Postwar!Levi fanfiction inspo "Mursa" for @sixpennydame || fanfiction North Star

Postwar!Levi fanfiction inspo "Postwar Fort Salta" for @sixpennydame || fanfiction North Star

Levi Ackerman x Hange Zoe (Levihan)

No Name #1

No Name #2 [coming soon]

Postwar!Levihan Valentine's Day 2024 + headcanons

Our First Christmas + headcanons

Student!Levihan for @smol-lydia || fanfiction I Wanna Make a Couple Bad Decisions (with you)

Scouts!Levihan for @this-is-krikkit

Valentine's Day 2023

Levi Ackerman x Petra Ral (Rivetra)

Rivetra for @love4-bunny

Levi Ackerman x Farlan Church (Levifar)

[coming soon]

Erwin Smith x Reader

[coming soon]

Erwin Smith x Miche Zacharias (Mikeeru/Erumike)

[coming soon]

Eren Jaeger x Mikasa Ackerman (Eremika)

[coming soon]

Jean Kirstein x Reader

Jean x Fem!Reader Valentine's Day 2024 + headcanons

Historia Reiss x Ymir (Yumihisu)

[coming soon]

Header & dividers: @youre-ackermine || Do not use without credit 💟

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liquorisce · 7 months

Text

boy next door

pairing: eremika

rating: explicit

[age gap modern au]

read on ao3

summary:

For sixteen years, Mikasa has watched the boy next door. First: through the eyes of a child, hand in his during family trips, his hand on her first bike when she learned how to ride. Then: through the eyes of a teenager, peeking behind her blinds into his room on hot summer months when he didn't wear a shirt, eyes lingering on his lips when he pulled away his cigarette.

Now, she is so much older, but he is older still, and the gap between them feels ever widening. But her desire to close it only feels more desperate.

(aka eremika age gap modern au)

...

“I’m not sure how this is supposed to go.” She hangs her jacket on his bed. There’s a little tie at her back that holds her dress together, and his eyes linger on the bare skin underneath it. He shoves his hands in pockets, so he doesn’t do something stupid like tug on the string. “Do I hug you?”

The corners of his mouth pull up into a smile. “If that’s what you want, do you want to hug me?”

It’s an innocent enough question, but it makes her blush. “We’re going to have sex, so I’m not sure how I should start things, to be honest.”

“We don’t exactly go from point A to Z like that.” Eren swallows, cringing at the clinical, matter-of-fact manner in which she states her purpose. “There are some steps in the middle, you know.”

[!!!!check ao3 for the tags!!!]

#eremika #liquorisce fanfiction #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #aot fanfiction

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ambrosialdesire · 1 year

Text

inamorato

18+ DARK CONTENT BELOW, MINORS + BLANK BLOGS DNI

pairing: modern au!eren x fem!reader word count: 9.4k warnings + tags: general yandere and obsessive themes, unhealthy relationships, implied stalking, mentions of violence, implied noncon, soulmates au (red string of fate), bully & bad boy eren (pretty sure this is ooc lol), eremika mention, implied jean x reader, implied armin x reader, childhood friends to enemies, bullying, victim-blaming, cheating (soulmate cheating & actual cheating), underaged drinking (18-19 year olds partying & drinking), forced kissing, slight groping, blood mention, all characters are 18+ synopsis: when you were a child, you were told that you'd soon be connected to your soulmate, the partner you'd spend the rest of your life with. however, your hope began to run dry once you've gotten older and gotten over the idea of soulmates, especially when the man that you had to spend your life with forever is eren jaeger. a/n: wanted to try this idea out so i could do a refresher of my mind for the third part of the cacoethes series. hope it's a decent read for y'all, this was kind of a practice exercise so it's kind of a mess lol note: please keep in mind of the tags above and do not proceed if triggering or uncomfortable, especially if you are a minor!! do not read my or any other writers' dark content if you are underaged. this is a fictional work and does not reflect irl morals, do not believe this is how a real romance works or functions.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.───

You were nine years old when it happened.

It was a few months before your ninth birthday when the Jaegers moved into the vacant house right in front of yours, the moving vans occupying the street for quite some time. From the window, you'd watch groups of people haul in boxes and furniture into the home until they finally left. The family had four members, the parents and two sons, one older and one younger.

Your parents told you to try and make friends with that younger son. He was fresh meat after all, he had to be scared of being the new kid on the block. You promised them that you would, that you'd do your best to make him feel comfortable here.

At the time, you were pretty scared to approach the family. The dad —who you learned was a doctor — had a frightening demeanor to him compared to his wife, her eyes kind as she waved at you from across the street whenever you were outside. You've noticed that the older son didn't really look like them, his blond hair a stark comparison to their dark brown hair; you eventually found out that he was the child of the dad's first marriage, rumors from other neighbors said that it was an unhappy one because they didn't "belong" to each other. He had to be at least four or five years older compared to you, so he wasn't interested in chit-chatting with you. When you knocked on the door to invite the younger son to play, he hid behind his mom, his hand gripping at her long skirt. What was fascinating about him that you've noticed first was his teal-green eyes that peeked out from behind when she coaxed him out to meet you.

"Hi! My name is Y/N, it's nice to meet you!" You greeted with a toothy smile, putting your hand out for him to shake.

"Eren." He took your hand and you tugged him out of the doorway to play. From there on out, it was like the two of you were inseparable.

Eren began to open up the more you played with him, seeing a more confident shine to him as the days went by. He'd innocently mess with you a lot, in a teasing and playful manner of course. One time, he found a wriggling earthworm in the rain-soaked dirt from the storm the day before and showed it off, soon chasing after you when he realized that it was scaring you. His mom gave him an earful when she found out about it and you felt really bad, sneaking a pack of gummy worms to him the day after.

He'd get himself in trouble a lot and when there was trouble, he'd always get hurt. If you looked back at it, there wasn't a day where you didn't see him with heaps of bandages attached to his skin or without a bloody nose. He said that he got them from protecting you but there wasn't really any known threats to a little eight year old you. You never questioned it once before, instead thanking him for protecting you like a knight would do for a princess.

You never realized it then that Eren wasn't the knight in your story, the almighty protector of your heart.

The two of you were the best of friends, the partners in crime of Maria Meadows Street. However, you started to hear the neighbors talk about how disappointing it would be if Eren wouldn't end up to be your soulmate. Confused on what that meant, you went to your parents about what that word was.

They sat you down the day before your birthday and explained what soulmates were. They told you that when you turned nine, maybe even ten, you would start to see a red string wrapped around your ring finger. It would be faint — fading in and out from sight — and sometimes there would be a slight tugging whenever you were too far from the one you were destined to. Destiny.

You held onto their words, excited to see that very string fastened around your finger. The thought of soulmates kept you up that night, silly little questions and concepts popping up. Who would they be? What would they be like? Would they like the same things as you? They better like sprinkles and strawberry milk but they better not like onions and brussels sprouts.

When you awoken, you checked your hand immediately, a giddy scream waking up the entire house. A bright red string was tied at the base of your ring finger, the other end of it free-floating in the air. It went through the wall towards the Jaeger household and when you checked outside your window to see how much further it went, it ended up going through their house. Before you could even question where it was going, the string faded from sight, and you went to your parent's bedroom to express your newfound joy about seeing the soulmate string.

The Jaegers were invited to your birthday party of course, but you weren't able to see them come in due to your relatives pulling you around to see how tall you've gotten and whether or not you got the string. It was a wonderful and fun time getting to see them again but your mind never left the thought of playing with Eren before getting to the cake. But you were never able to reach him, too busy catching up with your cousins.

When it was time to blow out the candles, your string popped up again, your eyes following its floating path and landing on the finger of no other than Eren Jaeger. You screamed out that it was him, that he was your soulmate — because what kid wouldn't express their initial surprise out loud — and his face suddenly burned a bright red.

Eren ran out before the happy birthday song started and you chased after him, following him to the secret spot that the two of you found. There was a clearing in the woods that sat behind the neighborhood block, dipping down into a slow-streaming creek; you started sharing it with him when he got in trouble with his mom again a few weeks ago. No one was able to stop either of you as your figures disappeared into the bushes.

You caught up to him, grabbing at the back of his t-shirt and questioning why he suddenly ran away when he started to angrily yell at you. He asked why did you have to tell everyone about it, saying that you made him feel ashamed. You apologized to him, you were just surprised that it was him!

It was meant to be right from the start, right when you held his hand and pulled him out of his house, but he thought otherwise. You tried to convince him to come back with you, but before you realized it, he pushed you into the creek. You landed on a group of stones and he caused your adorably coordinated birthday outfit to get completely soaked and dirtied. Tears started to streak down your face as Eren finally yelled out:

"I don't wanna end up with you! I don't even like you!"

Those words completely shattered your world. You got from the creek and ran home, facing your worried parents completely dirtied and sobbing heavily. Eren didn't come back to his home for a while, you knew that it was because he was going to be in deep trouble, but his parents apologized to yours for his behavior and apologized to you for messing up your party. It wasn't the only thing that Eren messed up.

After that day, you stopped going to the Jaeger house to see him, your string tugging frustratingly. Eren didn't even make the same effort to see you either. His mom went over to your house and asked if you would like to attend his birthday a month after your b-day party, but you politely declined, crying into your pillow afterwards. As quickly as your friendship came, it ended just as fast. His attitude towards you didn't get better either, it had only gotten worse. When school started, the hope that you originally had of him coming back to you started to slowly die out year after year.

He wasn't in the same classes as you luckily for the remainder of elementary school, but he had made two more friends. Mikasa, a shy girl who clung to his side like you had once done, and Armin, a smart boy who seemed too nice to be hanging around someone like him. It was an odd trio but they weren't as nice as they seemed, turning a blind eye whenever Eren started to push you around during recess.

You'd come home with scraped hands and knees, sniffling and trying to hide it from your parents. When the school staff was watching, he'd whisper nasty things to you, things like how much he hated having to be your soulmate and if he could, he would cut the string between the two of you. One time, he told you while pushing you into the blacktop that he wished that the two of you never became friends in the first place. To you back then, that broke your heart completely.

The teachers knew that you and him were soulmates — the town you lived in was small enough to get word around — so they just believed his teasing was just what boys usually do when they have a crush. Why did they ignore the fact that he was hurting you severely?

Middle school wasn't easy either, he treated you even worse than before. He resorted to pulling your hair when you were walking to class, snickering when the force of it nearly made you fall over. He'd trip you, spit at you, make you buy him snacks for him and his friends with the money that was supposed to be for your lunch. He'd threaten you that if you went to counselors or the administration, he'll make your life even more of a living hell. The tiny part of you that still loved him gnawed at your insides but what he was doing to you wasn't right. Because of him, you were never able to make friends. The whole grade knew that Eren was your bully and left you alone, not wanting to be involved with the trouble he was causing.

The bullshit reasoning that he'd tell you was because soulmates were supposed to be willingly take everything the other dishes out. It was stupid, the only thing you've done to him was call out in front of his and your family that he was your soulmate. It wasn't fair. He can't just use that excuse whenever he wants when he always stated that he never wanted to be with you in the first place.

One day in the eighth grade, you had it with his torment. It was in the winter, snow had already built up everywhere. You were walking home all bundled up, he and his lackeys close behind. Trying to ignore Eren's laughing, you quickened your pace until he grabbed your backpack from behind. You told him to let go but he smirked, ripping it off of your back. He rummaged through it while you were held back by Mikasa — she was crazy strong for a thirteen year old — your eyes widening as he suddenly tossed your homework and notebooks into the dirty melted snow.

You don't remember how you got out of Mikasa's hold, your blood running hot as you ran and jumped onto Eren, the two of you falling hard to the ground. When you lifted your fist, you felt your string draw taut as if it was a string of a bow and once it was released, you started to punch his face. The commotion stirred the neighborhood and you had to be torn off of him, screaming about how much you hated his guts and how he treated you like trash. Your knuckles were all bruised up and sore, he ended up with a black eye, a bunch of bruises and open wounds around his face. Those injuries were minute than the pain he caused you for years.

After that, Eren left you alone. The two of you never apologized about what had happened, you knew he wasn't sorry and neither were you. He never went back up to you to make fun of something you were wearing or ask for money for his favorite chips, it was like he was a total stranger. You gladly wanted to keep it that way.

Since Eren stopped bothering you, high school was better. There was finally a peace of mind. You passed though freshman, sophomore, and junior year in flying colors. You were able to make new friends, better ones than him.

One friend was someone that you never thought you'd be friends with. Armin went up to you in junior year, apologizing for how he ignored how Eren treated you. Better late than never, you supposed.

He asked if the two of you could somehow be friends. It bothered you since he was still known to be a part of his clique, so you told him that it would be best if the two of you started as acquaintances. To your surprise, he agreed and respected your wishes. He didn't push much besides sharing class notes and studying tips since he was usually in the same classes as you. He really shouldn't be friends with him, you still didn't understand why he still considered him one when he knew that he was a good-for-nothing asshole.

Otherwise than that, you tried avoiding Eren the minute you stepped foot in the school, taking advanced classes so you wouldn't see those teal-green eyes glaring holes in the back of your head. Going on different paths to class and eating in hidden areas during lunch were more cheap tactics you did to ensure that you'd never see him ever again, and for a long time, it worked. You were happily thriving, unlike him.

It was known that he was the so-called "bad-boy" of Shiganshina High. You've also heard that he was currently dating Mikasa and was an insane partygoer. He got into fights, eventually causing and winning enough of them to be called the "Shiganshina Devil". You knew that his parents had to have constant headaches with the amount of trouble he was getting himself into.

It was truly frightening to see where he had ended himself up at, how your paths diverged immensely. You also heard that he wasn't doing too bad in his classes so they haven't expelled him yet, you could only assume that it was because of his father.

A few more months before the end of the senior year, he was coming out of juvenile detention for the supposed fifth time since being in high school. After years of never seeing him, there he was standing in your ceramics elective class introducing himself. The staff thought a peaceful class would subdue his "violent" tendencies until they make him graduate, but not when you were going to be in it, fate had it out for you.

He looked different, your string tugging as you gawked at him in shock. Eren was taller — back then, you used to be a few centimeters taller and he complained about it when the two of you were still friends — and he was now considerably more muscular under the leather jacket he wore. His brown hair grew out to the point where he tied it back messily in a bun, strands still sticking out in the front of his face. His ears were covered in silver piercings and when he spoke, the glint of a tongue piercing stuck out. Rings wrapped around his long fingers, though his left ring finger was strangely left bare.

He had a tired and bored expression, his eyes wandering the classroom until they met yours. They widened slightly but relaxed after the teacher told him to take the empty seat in the back. The empty seat that just had to be right by you.

Eren sat right next to you, immediate tension growing in the air. You refused to acknowledge him, he would not ruin this for you. He seemed to ignore you as well, twirling around the necklace that hung low against his chest. The teacher was rambling about the best methods in which you should attach the pieces of clay workings together and when you were writing down the notes, in the edges of your vision, you saw teal-green observing you. You bit your tongue, turning your attention back to the teacher.

"You look different." He spoke quietly under his breath, his voice deeper. His tone was bluntly precarious, testing the waters as if you were the threat. You shuffled uncomfortably, the grip on your pencil tightening.

"Right back at you." You muttered, writing once more. If you looked at him right now, you were afraid of what your heart might think when your brain was definitely thinking the opposite. A light chuckle was heard and stupidly, your heart skipped a beat. The reappearance of the red string made your finger twitch, his eyes taking notice.

You almost yelped aloud as he suddenly grabbed your hand, his fingers carefully caressing the area where it was tied. You abruptly recoiled your hand away from him, holding it close to your chest in numb shock. You finally looked at him dumbfounded, seeing a smile grow on his face. That very smile that meant trouble was brewing in his head, how could you ever forget that cruel grin.

"There's my favorite face." What the hell?

The bell rang and you hurriedly gathered your items, getting out of the room before he could catch up with you. You couldn't let him see the flush that grew on your face and you couldn't let him back into your life. On the upside, this class was the only one you were forced to see him in. Just grin and bear with it until graduation.

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

"Are you serious!?" Both of your shoulders were suddenly gripped together as you stared at your best friend with a tight-lipped smile.

"Dead serious."

"Dude you're never making it out alive, your soulmate is literally the monster of this school." You pinched the bridge of your nose, annoyance rising the more you thought about Eren.

"It's the only class I see him in Jean, I'll live."

"You might think that but then he'll suddenly shank you from the behind with a piece of hardened clay," He pretended to stab at your side, tickling you instead. "What will I do if my dear friend dies under the hands of the Shinganshina Devil?"

You jokingly rolled your eyes from his dramatics, pulling away from his hands. "Don't say that corny ass title, just call him Eren. And besides, you have Connie and Sasha and Marco to entertain. I'll genuinely be fine. As long as I ignore him, he should leave me alone."

He frowned and you could tell that he was still worried, patting his hands gently. "I promise that if he does give me trouble, I'll go to the office. He doesn't have any power here because of his reputation, they're more likely to believe me than him."

Jean finally let out an exasperated huff and stuck out his pinky in front of you.

"Cross your heart?"

You wrapped yours around his, solidifying the promise.

"Hope to die."

You met Jean in your English class during sophomore year, back then you've only knew him as one of the quarterbacks on the football team. You didn't know much about football in general but he was the one that approached you first at your locker, asking for help on one of the essays that was due in a week.

He told you that you were known as the "smarty-pants" in class so he swallowed his pride because this was the only class he was having trouble in. You laughed at his face — apologizing to him shortly after wiping your tears away — explaining that you thought English was the most basic and easiest subject to get through. His face turned red and he started backing out of the conversation, arguing with you that it was far from easy. You refuted back about how could he mess up the first language he learned, leaving him stunned for a minute, then asking grumpily if you were going to help him or not. Grabbing the paper from his hands, you agreed to assist with the assignment.

From there, you learned that he wasn't just a sport-focused jock, he was authentic and enjoyed art more than football, doing the sport only because his dad made him. He was sweet and funny, dependable when you needed it. He was the shoulder that you needed to cry on those many years ago and soon enough, you confided in him about your soulmate.

Jean let you rant about it, deeply listening about how much suffering you had to go through just because you made an innocent little announcement about how Eren was going to be with you forever. He told you that it wasn't your fault, that you were just a kid, Eren was just a brat that didn't appreciate what he had and consequently took it out on you with his own insecurity. He told you everything that you needed to hear. Your parents and past teachers have always told you that in time, he'd realize that he loved you but there was never any progress. Why give all those hopeless dreams to that little girl?

If there was ever a chance to choose your soulmate, Jean Kirschtein would be the first pick. Whoever he was fated to was surely lucky.

The two of you let go of the pinky promise, his hand dropping down to his side until his eyes suddenly narrowed behind you. He grabbed you and held you to the side of the lockers, as if he was trying to hide you.

"Speak of the devil."

You partially snorted at the joke, turning your head and seeing Eren walking with Mikasa at his side. She had taken a darker gothic look to her when she reached high school, you didn't know whether it was because of her boyfriend's style or just the style she chose to wore. Either way, she still looked scarily good.

"I really can't see how they're still together when he's so shitty." Jean leaned in and whispered in your ear as they passed by.

"She's been like that since elementary school, she's just that in love with him." You whispered back and he made a face.

"Even if she knows that you're his soulmate?" The tug of your string reminded you of the fate you weren't able to change, teeth clenching.

"Soulmate or not, I don't belong to him. And it's not like I'm being cheated on, I'm not going to wait for someone that never liked me in the first place." As you bitterly responded, you watched the two disappear down the hallway, Mikasa kissing his cheek before the doors closed in on them.

If Eren wanted her, it was fine by you. He's established that he'd never love you and that wasn't going to ever change.

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

"Horse-boy huh," Eren flicked a piece of balled paper in your direction, landing it right in front of your notebook while you were writing. "Expected better from you."

You promptly ignored him, brushing off the paper ball and trying to focus on your education rather than the nuisance next to you. Jean did not look anything resembling a horse, unless he was poking fun at his athletics. He didn't take your silence kindly however, hearing his tongue click quietly. You could feel his presence lean in close to you, his voice dropping down to a whisper.

"You guys fucking?" If your pencil was wooden, it would've broken from the amount of pressure you were putting on it. What a weirdly personal question to ask someone. And a disgusting one at that, especially towards the person he'd used to knock around for shits and giggles.

You wondered if you said yes, he'd leave you alone but you didn't want Jean get roped into this. Shooting a glare at him, you shrugged him away, going back into writing your notes. You heard a huff from him but he moved away, his clothes shuffling.

The both of you sat quietly for a while until the teacher announced that the final piece will be in partners due to budget cuts, but the partners would be the person you sat next to. Your heart sank deeply into the pit of your stomach and without even looking, you could imagine the smug smirk that his face had.

"Lucky me, at least I’m seated with someone I know."

"You don’t know me," You bluntly stated, irritatingly shoving your notebook into your backpack before the bell rang. "And let's keep it that way. All we will do is talk in this class and do our work, that's it."

Eren watched you get up, a stupid smirk still on his face. He got up and towered over you, his nefarious teal-green stare matching up to your irked glower. Your stomach twisted as you saw your reflection in the color, a cold sweat running down your back. How funny it was that after all these years, part of you was still terrified of him.

"Deny it as much as you like Y/N, there's no one who knows you better than your soulmate."

The bell ringing was like music to your ears and like yesterday, you got out of there as fast as possible. He's so scummy for thinking that he still can use it against you. Opening your phone on the way to your next class, you checked your email to see if any colleges had answered your admissions. They were mostly all out-of-state because you couldn't stand the thought of seeing Eren in any of the in-state ones.

"Y/N! Thank God you came out alive." A body collided into yours, a small oof coming out of you.

"I towld ou I'd be fwine." You replied, words muffled from being crushed into his chest. Jean finally pulled away, jokingly hitting you over the head.

"That doesn't make me worry any less."

A smile grew on your face as he rested a hand on your shoulder, the thoughts of Eren washing away. When the storm dissipated, the sun was always there to dry all the worries away. He was about to walk you to your next class when both your name and Jean's was called out, the dread coming back.

"I thought I wasn't able to catch up with you Y/N, you should try out for track and field." He panted dramatically, hands resting on his knees. Standing back up, he smugly grinned down at you. "Actually you can't anymore huh, since it's our last year in high school."

"What do you want Jaeger?" Jean spoke up for you, pulling your body closer to his protectively by the waist. You hoped that he didn't feel how hard your heart was beating right now. His eyes darted from one to the other, an eyebrow raising as if he put two and two together.

"I wanted to know why you keep hanging around my soulmate." The more he said that, the more of a migraine was forming.

He scoffed in response, rolling his eyes. "As if you can say anything, you're literally going out with Mikasa. Or did you suddenly forget that?"

You felt like you could see the tension between them, sparks of electricity flying off of each other's stares. The more he gets involved, the higher probability he'd end up as his next "meal". That's what you've heard others say about the fights he gets into, as if he was the top carnivore in the food chain.

"Jean, let's just go." Passively tugging at the side of his jersey, his eyes finally tore away from Eren's and the two of you started walking to your next class. Before the doors closed, you took one last glance back at him. He still had the smile and lifted up his left hand, waving at you.

In that moment, a flash of the red string revealed itself. There it was, wrapped around his empty ring finger. The doors closed, red fading away.

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

Two months or so passed by after that incident, graduation nearing with every day. Frustratingly, Eren hasn't been attending the ceramics class, which meant that you were alone working on the final project. Not that you mind, this was the best outcome possible but you hated the fact that he just left you to do all the grunt work. There was word that he gotten himself into another fight and that's why he was consistently absent, but you swore that you've been seeing him in the edges of your vision. Even when you weren't at school, there was a familiar feeling that he was right there. Yet, every time you assumed it was him and turned to look, he disappeared like a cloud of smoke.

You had to be losing it, there was no other explanation.

Finally being fed up with it, you approached Armin and asked where Eren was. He told you that he's been attending class the entire time. Every class except yours. Did the blockhead finally realize boundaries or something because he can practice that while attending ceramics. You weren't going to go beg for him to come back; if he wasn't going to come, whatever. That's his grade that he's fucking up.

In better news, Jean told you that a big graduation party was going on in his house after the ceremony — hinting at the fact that none of his parents would be in town — and you gladly took his invitation. You weren't the biggest party-goer in the first place but it would be nice to celebrate the end of your K-12 education. Plus, you haven't celebrated much in over ten years due to what happened with Eren, so it would also be something akin to a commemoration of a new beginning for you.

For the project, you decided to make a teapot with a set of two cups. Someone sat next to you while you were busy forming one of the teacups, your attention to the craft unwavering.

"No hello?" You nearly dropped the clay formation to the floor, your shoulders tensing. You took a slow breath before looking up at the person.

"Eren."

His hand reached over and started playing around with a loosened strand of your hair that you didn't tie up. He wasn't wearing the leather jacket anymore — the late April weather most likely prevented him from using it — and had on a fitted white t-shirt instead. Your eyes wandered to his well-knitted upper arms, seeing layered designs inked into his tan skin. Wow.

You quickly cleared your throat, turning back to your creation before he caught you staring.

"You've been ditching class."

He let out a soft chuckle, shrugging nonchalantly. "I've been busy. I told the staff that they should give me a free period around this time but they denied my request, telling me that my dad had a hand in the decision."

Would that be considered nepotism in Eren's case? His hand left your hair and trailed down your arm, feeling the cool rings slide down your skin. He smoothly grabbed the floral designed teacup from your hand while you were distracted with his touch, pulling it up to his face to observe it.

"I'm working on that, careful!" You scolded in exasperated tone, trying to grab it back from him. He scooted the chair away from you, still looking at the cup.

"You're only making this for our final?"

"My final, you haven't worked on anything since you ditched. And I already finished the teapot." He raised an eyebrow at you, handing it back to you.

"Then I'll do the other cup, that's your plan isn't it?" Eren removed each one of his rings and put them in his bag pocket. He then reached over and grabbed a handful of clay from the block, starting to knead it under his hands.

Wait. How did he know that? Your notes weren't currently out and he definitely hasn't been around you to see what you were making for the class. It could be an accurate guess of course, it wouldn't make sense for a tea set to have only one teacup.

"Fine, but it better look good. I'd rather not settle with a C in a simple art class, thank you very much."

The two of you sat in silence, focused on the project in each other's own hands. The atmosphere was... peaceful? Comfortable? There was still some sort of unease in the air, but there was something tranquil about it, in an odd way.

If you and Eren had never known each other in the past, perhaps there was a chance that the whole soulmate route could've worked out. Would he have ended up differently if you never had that outburst? You couldn't really imagine him alternatively from what he was now, it was difficult to think of him as anything but a bully.

Glancing over at what he was working on, you suddenly felt your heart flutter and string tighten. Eren formed the clay into a heart shape, the cup was still kind of rough in some areas but it was still cute regardless. He picked up a carving tool and started making designs on the side, straying from your intended design but nevermind that. It was nice he was putting in some effort for the final.

You watched him put the tool inside of the cup and carve something inside, settling it down afterwards.

"Done."

"Can I see what you did?" As you reached over, he seized your wrist with one clay-dirtied hand.

"Nope. Are you done with yours?" You sighed and nodded, pulling your hand out of his grip. In a flash, he grabbed yours and started carving inside of it. Internally you were screaming, thinking that he was going to ruin it but he handed it back to you afterwards in one piece. You took a look on the inside and on the bottom of the cup, there were his initials carved in.

E.J.

Irritation bubbled within you. Did he do that as some sort of ploy for credit? You carefully snatched his created cup, peering at the bottom. He didn't stop you, only observing. The original anger soon quickly dissipated, the feeling replaced with a stewing bittersweetness.

Eren wrote in your initials but your last name was a J instead. What was he trying to imply?

"Why did you...?" Speechlessly, you scanned his gaze with a puzzled complexion. What were you searching for, what did you even want to see? There was nothing but that empty teal-green abyss that you've woefully admired for years.

"You're fucking with me again, aren't you?"

You tried to not look as if all of your hope was given up all over again. Instead of physically harassing you, he's resorted to emotional and psychological tricks. Why did that hurt more than getting actually hit? You needed to stop forgetting that Eren was no longer that kid, that same kid you've chased around the hidden creek during the months where you still considered each other as companions.

You got up from your seat to clean off the dried clay from your hands, feeling it crumble and fall away just like the remaining pieces of your heart. You could feel tears well up when you knew it wasn't supposed to, letting out a quiet sigh out. This time around, all you were going to focus on was yourself, graduation, and Jean's party. No more Eren, no more soulmates, no more red string.

Just you.

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

"Are you all ready to go absolutely crazy tonight?!"

You winced as the megaphone in Jean's hands blared in your ears, covering up the side of the ear where he was. The crowd cheered just as loudly as he did, Connie playing airhorns on the sound system to hype them up even more. You didn't expect the turnout to be this large but you shouldn't expect anything less from one of the most popular athletic students.

"Then let's make this a night to remember, Shiganshina graduates!" You watched him throw the megaphone in someone else's hands, then jump down from the stage that held the music booth, the crowd enveloping him with excited shouts and screams. You immediately lost him in the wave of people, sighing in amusement. You knew he was going to be fine but you would definitely find him later on clutching for life over a toilet.

Now, where to start your own version of a little celebration? Shoving yourself through, you entered the jam packed house, trying to apologize with every person you passed by. Suddenly, a hand grabbed you and pulled you through the clumped up bodies into a decently spaced out area.

"Armin?" The blond sheepishly smiled, raising a red solo cup as a greeting towards you.

"Thought you weren't the party-girl type."

"I thought you weren't even the type to party. Aren't you someone that only spends time locked up in their room with stacks of books?" He laughed, shaking his head.

"It seems that we both aren't like what we were supposed to be." He grinned and gave you his cup, tapping the kitchen counter to get Marco's attention. He handed him another solo cup, presumably with the same liquid as what he gave to you. You couldn't really tell what it was due to the party lights but when you pulled it up to your mouth, you could smell the scent of a very strong liquor.

Fuck it, why not. This was a once-in-a-lifetime experience, might as well get a little fucked up. It'll help you temporarily forget thinking about him all the time.

You took a quick little inhale and started downing the cup. You cringed as the sharp burn of alcohol went down your throat, feeling a little warm afterwards. Crushing the cup in one hand, you looked up at Armin with a crooked, flushed out smile.

"Another please."

Each drink came by in a blur, your mind melting and meshing together. You knew you were currently on the dance floor, probably in the backyard again, strangers' bodies rhythmically clashing into yours. Some loud music Connie put on was incoherently playing and you felt someone place their hands around your waist from behind, a tipsy giggle coming out of you. As you took a glance back, you were not surprised in the slightest on who your sudden dance partner was.

Armin was dancing behind you, a dark red blush already formed on the apples of his cheeks. His blue eyes hazily looked down at you and you turned around, playfully pulling him in towards you by his white button up. His hands never left the curves of your hips, almost barely lifting up your tank top and touching your bare skin. The warmth that was shared between your two drunk bodies was sweltering, the immense tension between each other growing with each sway and laugh.

There were rumors back in school on who his soulmate is. Some say he's Annie's but due to Bertolt being consistently around her, a handful were unconvinced. Very few said that it was Mikasa, another little group spread the joke around that Jean was his soulmate. At this moment, who cared?

Eren had been dating Mikasa for nearly four years, of course they had PDA before. You? You didn't even have your first kiss yet.

One part of you had always wanted to give your first kiss to Jean, but he was too dear for you to lose as a best friend. The other part of you, the little devil on your shoulder, wanted to be petty. To give something that was originally intended for a soulmate to his very best friend, it would be more than enough revenge for you.

Sliding your hand up his body to the curvature of his neck, you pulled him down to your level. You leaned in close to his face, the two of you panting from dancing. You never knew how lovely his blue eyes were as they shined under the colored lights, you were always too afraid too look at him back then.

Armin was the one that made the first move, pressing his lips against yours, his eyes closing as soon as contact was made. You returned his affections, your own eyes closing as you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in closer. Through his kiss, you could taste the bitterness of alcohol on his lips. His hands squeezed your hips, a shiver going through your entire body. He was gentle — not pushing for anything more — his soft lips finally leaving yours.

Your heart was beating hard as you gazed upon those eyes of his, swearing up and down that you had instantaneously felt butterflies nervously swirl around in your stomach. If Eren could date others, you can too. What was stopping you besides a flimsy ass string?

"Y/N, I—" Armin paused, his eyes connected with something behind you. They suddenly widened with a particular kind of fear, the red blush of his face immediately draining white. It seemed that he had sobered up, removing his body from yours and backing away in a frightened manner.

"I-I'm so sorry!" What?

He ran off, leaving you confused and with mixed emotions. You couldn't have been that bad at kissing right? Give yourself a break, it was your first kiss after all. Hands made their place on your shoulders, alarms beginning to blare in your head. Before you could turn to see who it was, one hand shot up and wrapped around your mouth while the other quickly went around your waist, forcefully pulling you back.

You struggled hard, trying to fight against the stranger that was kidnapping you but the alcohol in your system made it difficult to do much. The other partygoers seemed to not notice you, either too drunk off their asses or maybe even high off of something.

Without much thought, you began to bite down on the person's fingers as hard as you possibly could. They yelled out in pain and let you go, your body falling to the concrete. You winced as you felt your knees and hands scrape against the coarse rocks. Before you were able to get up, they grabbed your arm and lifted you back up to your feet, slamming you against the wall. A hand pressed one of your shoulders firmly against the textured brick, keeping you trapped.

"Ten years later and you're still a fucking bitch." A chill ran down your entire body, sobering reality hitting like a truck. Those piercing eyes glimmering in the party lights glared down at you coldly, a grimace on his face.

"It takes one to know one," You spat back in reply. "Last time I checked, Jean didn't invite you."

Eren suddenly started laughing, shaking his head. You were stunned in disbelief, he thinks this is some kind of joking matter?

"You think a little paper invite is gonna stop me from coming? God, I don't even know how they let you into the honor roll with that mind of yours."

Your face grew hot and you shoved his hand off of your shoulder. This party was supposed to be your way of forgetting about him. He can't keep showing out the blue right when you were moving on and focusing on better things in your life.

"What do you even want Eren?"

He stopped laughing, his gaze growing more intense as he looked down at you. You suddenly felt like you were shrinking the more he stared down at you in distaste.

"It's a funny story actually, I wanted to get drunk as any other person here but then I saw my whore of a soulmate sucking face with my best friend right in the middle of the crowd," It was your turn to feel the color drain from your own face. "It's really funny, isn't it? She's so desperate for my attention, she'd give her own body to anyone who's asking, even if it's someone like Armin."

You shoved him back, his body colliding into the wooden fence behind him. You were trembling, fists shakily balling up.

"For your information, Armin kissed me first. And you know damn well that you out of all people, have no right to call me a whore. I don't even know where to begin with how much you've treated me like shit either." You started to let loose everything you wanted to say to him, tears welling up and dripping down your cheeks. He stood up, his head down and face unreadable as you continued to chew him out.

"And how fucking dare you! Why still consider me as 'soulmate property' when all you've been doing for years is torture me?!"

Maybe it was the alcohol still circulating in your body that was making you too emotional, but in the first time in forever, you sobbed in front of him. Eren stood quietly as you sniffled, swiping your wrists over your wettened cheeks.

"There's nothing you can fix Eren, this string hasn't done anything but torment us. What ties us together isn't love, it never has been and it never will be." You wanted to go home, he ruined everything as always. The only redemption he'd ever get is that he would never speak to you ever again.

You opened the metal side door of Jean's home and began to walk out when you felt his hands grab your shoulders once more and turn you around. Like clockwork, you balled up your fist and was ready to punch him in the face until he grabbed that very hand's wrist and held it back against the door. You struggled against his grip, eyes wide in shock.

"What are you- Eren! Let me g—"

He interrupted you, his lips slamming onto yours roughly. A dull throbbing pain emerged as his teeth clashed into yours. The back of your head hit the metal door, a resonant clang bouncing off as it was forcibly shut closed. His free hand curled around the dip of your back and pulled your body closer to his.

Eren's tongue forced its way through your mouth, the metal ball rolling around against your tongue. He kissed you as if he was starving, as if it was vital that he had to have you like this. It was completely overwhelming. The shock put you in a hazy daze, your body burning up to a scalding and uncomfortable heat.

Unlike Armin's, he was needily intense. He messily intermingled his saliva with yours, pushing even more deeply into you. It was suffocating, he was suffocating. Through the thickened haze, you felt his hand trail down to the curve of your ass and something solid was slowly rubbing against your thigh, immediate fear coursing through your body.

Without a second to waste, you bit down as hard as you could. Eren cried out in pain in your mouth and pulled away from you, his hand shooting to his face. He removed his hand and you saw a dark liquid dripping down his chin, the taste of iron and a spherical object in your mouth soon coming into realization.

Spitting out whatever was in your mouth into your hand, immediate nausea started to come in waves as you gazed upon it. You felt dizzy and out of breath, your heart wildly beating to the point where it started to ache.

You ignored the squeeze of the string, feeling it tighten till you were sure that circulation had cut off. The two of you shared a look, yours reflected a terrified stare and his... his pupils were blown out with a mortifying desire. A desire that you did not want any part in.

You dropped the piercing and ran, completely horrified to look back.

'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'

You didn't tell anyone what had happened afterwards. You texted Jean that you left after a few drinks and thanked him for the invite, but you neglected to tell him the other bits and pieces. He didn't need to know or else he'd get all worked up about it. You didn't have Armin's phone number but you assumed that his friendship was still intact, occasionally seeing the blond visit the Jaeger household every few days or so. All he will be would be the one that took your first kiss from you.

It was difficult trying not to think about what had occurred in Jean's party. How can you even forget that kind of moment? You didn't even know what Eren wanted from you anymore, did he still hate you or did he finally realize he had feelings for you far too late in life? What a jackass. Technically, he cheated on Mikasa and that made him even more scummier than before. Regardless, you weren't ever going to reciprocate.

There was a particular temptation to smash the cup that Eren made into itty bitty pieces. When the two of you got an A on the final, you told him he could keep his cup. It was only fair after all.

He refused, instead taking the one that you made. You watched him carefully tuck it into his backpack, partially in awe that he actually cared to keep it from breaking. All you were left with was the teapot and his heart-shaped teacup. Instead of throwing it away, you put it on a shelf next to other various trinkets of yours. Now that you were looking at it now, a mix of a melancholy frustration occupied your thoughts.

The weeks after the party, you tried avoiding getting out of the house unless your parents strictly forced you to. Fate had always been against you so if there was even a minute where you were alone, you knew that Eren would mysteriously come along. Your parents just assumed that it was college jitters and you were afraid of leaving home, but unfortunately it was really more than that. It was not their burden to bear — they were already too old to be worrying about soulmate issues — this was your mess and you had to deal with it like an adult.

In better news, the college that you've wanted to go to since junior year graciously accepted your application. Sooner or later, you were flying a few states over for orientation and to check into the apartment that you and your parents found after the acceptance. You got the email mid-June while you were still moping over the party incident, screaming the house awake once more as if it was your ninth birthday.

You told Jean over the phone, the speakers nearly blowing out on his side of the call. The two of you promised to try syncing up breakfast and dinners since you were moving in a city with a separate time zone, and he'd update you on what's happening back in the town. He decided to take a gap year, the sole reason he explained to you was to gain work experience from what his dad was doing. You joked saying that you would be graduating before he would; in response, he told you to piss off and have a safe flight.

You tried having the move be as downlow as possible, making the decision to only bring essentials and anything else that was too big and noticeable would stay at home. It sucked that it had to be this way — you worried that you might leave something important behind — but you didn't want to catch the attention of anyone that wasn't family or friends.

You adjusted the bag on your back, flicking the edge of the orientation pamphlet that was handed over to you before entering the university. The map layout was on the front, other pieces of information were inside, ranging from various major and club booths to scheduled times of educational presentations the university was providing for today. For fun, you were thinking of joining the photography club or one of the book clubs, slinking through the crowd to get to the booths. After checking out the booths, you were going to one of the presentations for your chosen major.

This had to be your most peaceful moment in your life. The air was fresh and everyone was so kind, it was a relief that none of them knew about the person that haunted your very being. He no longer shadowed you, consumed you to the point where your identity was constantly associated with his.

You entered the room that the designated presentation was being held in and settled in the back, getting the full view of the space. No one was inside yet, maybe because you had got here just a little bit too early. It was fine however, it let you quietly observe without looking too weird.

This university was on the slightly older side, the seats were still the big wooden seats that served as a table at the same time with a deflated cushion and one side of the walls had stained glass windows, softly reflecting the colors onto you. It was a charming place, you'd love to attend a class in here.

There was a sound of someone settling down besides you, the seat creaking with age. You wanted to make any friends that were in your major as quickly as possible, miss any opportunity to befriend someone and you'd be lonely and struggling the entire time you'd be here. Turning towards the stranger, you began to extend your hand and greet them, until you fell short on your words when your eyes connected.

"E-eren?"

It couldn't be. It shouldn't be.

How did he know where you were attending? You never told anyone besides Jean and your parents. Jean would never tell anyone, especially him out of all people, and you've begged your parents not to publicly post anything about where you were attending until you graduated. Your jarred confusion must've amused him because a pleased grin started to form on his face, his head resting on his hand as he stared back at you. The glow of the string illuminated the side of his face, malice reflecting off of him.

Those cursed teal-green eyes, a color of a persistent poison with no antidote.

Everything crashed down on you, the world turning upside down. You abruptly stood up, stumbling backwards as you tried to get away. He didn't make a move, only watching you idiotically bumble around. Like a predator stalking its prey, you could tell when he was getting ready to strike. Maybe he had already got you wrapped up in his web, you just never realized it until now.

As you tried to get out of the room, the door handle didn't budge. Terror shot through you and you still tried to open it, tugging and pushing against the wooden door. You cried out in panic, beginning to hit the door with your fists, hopeful that anyone outside would hear you. A few minutes went by and no one came, your luck at an all time low.

Nothing. Nothing you did worked at all.

You finally faced him unwillingly, watching him stick out his tongue. A hand went over your mouth in shock. Nearly from the middle to the tip, there was a healed slit. He moved it and you gasped, his tongue parting in two. Oh God, what the hell happened? Wait... where did the metal ball go?

In that very moment, that very night came back to you in a flash. The taste of blood. The spherical piercing in your mouth. Your stomach churned in horrid disgust.

You did that.

"So..." Eren put away his tongue and got up from his seat, slowly nearing you. You were shaking, the feeling of consciousness slipping away as your heart hammered too fast for everything else in your body to keep up.

"Won't we finish what you've started?"

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karizard-ao3 · 1 month

Text

Clueless Teens all grown up headcanons

I guess technically as the author I could declare this all fic canon but I think it's more fun to leave it open-ended so people can imagine their own things. Still, this is what I was picturing for them in the future. (Actually, for some of the couples, the kids I imagined for them got recycled over to my single parents au. Not Eremika's kids, but the other ones for the most part.)

Historia and Ymir have one daughter who they spoil the fuck out of. They also plan elaborate vow renewals approximately whenever they feel like it. When I was considering writing a one shot of them all grown up it was going to be everyone gathered at one of Yumihisu's destination vow renewal ceremonies.

Reibert. Oh gosh. They were going to "no homo" their way right to the altar and be very happy together.

Connie. He does not end up with Mina. I was of two minds with him: Either he is trying to find a milf to settle down with, or he is married to Sasha's cousin and they are struggling with fertility so he's the cool uncle with all the dogs and the secret pain of wishing they could have a child. I don't know why this is the case. It's just what I feel. Connie would be pretty much the ideal stepdad, imo.

Nicosasha. Again, I was of two minds! It's not realistic to have this many high school couples end up together in long term relationships/ marriages, but I also don't want to make anyone break up. Still, I can see Sasha and Nico having some kind of separation for a few years. Maybe getting married and then divorced and then marrying each other again ten years later or some shit. Why? I don't know. They are clearly very much in love, but that doesn't always last. Still, out of everyone I can see Sashe remarrying her first husband, with maybe a second husband in between. Greedy.

Aruani. These two go on their little date after Armin graduates and then proceed to not get together for another four years. Like, they still talk all the time and probably hook up when they see each other but they're like, "Meh, let's not do long distance. Let's keep it casual and if we still want to be together after college, we'll move in together immediately." It works for them and they eventually have a little boy, but Eremika are absolutely scandalized because they could never be so hands off.

Eremika. As you know, they have four kids super close in age. Mikasa makes a living streaming (she's the breadwinner. She's got that Azumabito business sense and Ackerman gaming skill) and Eren does civil rights law. So they have a pretty comfortable life and they spend a lot of time with their families. Eren walks around shirtless a lot, which is very popular on Mikasa's streams and he likes to come up and read the chats while she plays. If anyone tries to hit on her or says something sexual, he immediately loses his shit and starts threatening to find them and kick their asses. Mikasa is very pleased when she finally makes enough money to be able offer to fund Armin's dreams of opening a comics and games shop.

Pokkopiku. I think they also are the type to be parents to an only child. I'm thinking a girl. Pieck is very busy with her journalism career and Porco is living the stay at home dad dream. Maybe he becomes an influencer. He definitely keeps taking photos at every opportunity and he's got a bit of an online following. I think he might manage to book some gallery shows. When their daughter gets older he might get back into doing photojournalism again, and eventually they become a journalistic team once more, kind of like when they were in high school except this time with globe-hopping. I could see Pieck deciding to homeschool their kid so the whole family could go on assignments with her. In single parents au, I gave Porco twins, though (he's only in a couple scenes and we never meet his family, but he mentions them), and so I also kind of like the idea of Clueless Teens Pokkopiku having boy/girl twins. The point is, Pieck is willing to delay her career advancement long enough for one pregnancy and no more than that, so if they're going to have more than one kid, it has to be a multiple birth.

Am I forgetting anyone? I feel like I'm leaving someone out. I don't know! It's getting late and I have a few more things I want to work on before I go to be, so let me know who- Jeanmarco.

8. I don't really know if I think Jean and Marco end up together. I don't think they ever admit they have any kind of romantic feelings for each other because Jean is not totally comfortable with admitting to being bi at this juncture in time. I think they stay friends but Marco eventually moves on with a nice guy and Jean meets a nice woman who didn't know what a skeeze he was in high school and settles down with her and then eventually comes out when he's older and it's less taboo. He also does not revert back to being a creep.

Okay, now I think that's everyone. But let me know if I left anyone important to you out!

(Read Clueless Teens here)

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arminsumi · 11 months

Note

Hello Jay! I have to say, your Dad!Armin has me on a chokehold 👌🏻😩

But, let’s remember the child/children will have Eren and Co. as their “uncles” and “aunts”. Imagine all the wholesome possibilities! 🥹

Like, they would teach them things their parents (Armin and MC) couldn’t/wouldn’t! I think Eren would teach them how to stand up for themselves and to never give up! Mikasa would knit them a scarf just like hers 🧣. Sasha and Connie would show them how to make the best snacks and jokes a kid can do! :D

I can’t think of more, but I hope you like it! :3

This is such a sweet idea 🥺 Ty for your request darlin!

Aunt Mika & Uncle Eren

Hcs | Armin + Eremika + a few more chars!

⚠️Cws; fluff

Notes; gn!reader, this is the post mentioned -> Dad!Armin hcs

You can always rely on Eren and Mikasa to help you and Armin out with the kids if you're feeling overwhelmed!

Whenever you plan holidays, you call them up and ask if they can take care of the little ones, and Mikasa always responds enthusiastically

Eren and Mikasa complement each other in how they care; the one is excellent at talking to kids, and the other is excellent at showing them love and nurture.

"And if they bite you, you bite them back, alright? Don't let anyone be an assho-"

"Eren! Language!" Mikasa calls from the other room, coming back quickly with her knitting basket

"What! I'm teaching a valuable lesson." He defends

Your kids absolutely adore them, but they especially seem to flock around Eren. I guess it's because he's less stern and tense, or maybe it's simply because he has that tranquil air about him

Whenever you invite Sasha over, she comes with baskets of snacks and treats all freshly homemade!

Though, she does nibble them on her way to yours and Armin's apartment

Sometimes you escape to the bedroom with Armin for a breather if all four of your friends are visiting all at once. You hear ringing laughter coming from downstairs because Connie is at it again with his jokes

Armin smiles at you, gives you a kiss on the cheek and then the two of you head back downstairs

As soon as you return, your youngest enthusiastically trots up to you and proudly tells you a pun that Connie just told them

It may be a dumb pun, but the execution is all that matters; who could refrain from laughing at that adorable tiny voice!

After gatherings, you and Eren find yourself washing up dishes in the kitchen, listening to the lively conversations from the living room

"You know, I never told you this, but Armin used to talk about wanting to have a family with you, like, even back in college."

You laughed, "Really!" you looked over at Armin who happened to appear at the archway

"Eren!" Armin scolded his best friend, blushing fiercely from cheek to jaw, "That's so embarrassing..."

"I think it's sweet." You said

You and Armin shared a tender gaze, and Eren fake-gagged, "Alright, I'll let you two be. God, you two are as lovey-dovey as you were in college, too."

At the end of the day, you tuck your little ones into bed, and they sleep soundly with Mikasa's lovingly knitted scarves snugly wrapped around them

Extras 💕

Reiner would be super protective of your kids, and teach them how to defend themselves. It's a tough competition for the kids to decide who they think is more of a teddy bear; Eren or Reiner?

Your old college professors, Hange and Levi, remained friends with you after graduation, so sometimes you'll visit the park for a picnic with them. Although, it seems your kids are a little scared of Levi; he tries his best to not look intimidating, but it just doesn't seem to work! But count on Hange to teach them all sorts of interesting things, especially about science and history

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sinigangsta-ao3 · 2 months

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chp. 4 - "sins of our fathers" (rival gang eremika au)

READ ON AO3

rating: explicit (fic ongoing)

pairing: eremika (with minor background relationships)

tags: modern rival gang au, enemies to lovers, forbidden love, age difference, sociopolitical issues, racism, economic disparity, political corruption, family dysfunction, smut, angst, bit of a low burn...

chapter preview:

“You are meant for more than the small-town politics that we are all steeped in now.” Kiyomi looks toward their car, now pulled up to the curb. “Your uncle knows it. Your cousin knows it. Both clans in their entirety know it. We’ve readied you as best we can, and we are ready for you now. This is your time.” Mikasa tastes warm iron. Sometime amidst her aunt’s speech, she had gnawed the inside of her cheek raw. She runs her tongue over the damaged tissue. “What if—“ The words whither on Mikasa’s tongue when Rin appears at her side. He wordlessly beckons for the garment bag. Mikasa gladly relinquishes it. But the heaviness remains. Mikasa’s throat feels like sandpaper, coarse and painful. She forcefully swallows to lubricate her vocal cords, to enable speech as Rin returns to open the door, to assist Kiyomi into the car. “What if I’m not ready, Aunt Kiyomi?” Her voice is sharp and gasping, as if she had been drowning. “What if I don’t want this to be my time?”

#eremika #eremika fic #rival gang au #sins of our fathers #my fics

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misscoolisback123 · 5 months

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I hate the incest excuse! Rivamika is not incest! The Ackermans are basically a clan. If they existed in the Naruto universe, they would be referred to as such. The same as the Reiss family, amongst others. It's already like that in AOT, though, but not referred to as much like Naruto. But Mikasa would obviously be a part of the Hiruzen as well. Someone tried to say this about Erehisu being incest but Erehisu isn't incest. If anything, Eremika is incest. Itachi, Izumi, and Shisui were never related at all. Just because someone has the same last name as you doesn't mean that they're related to you.

#eren x historia #erehisu #anti eremika #rant post #Rivamika

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bluebird722 · 1 month

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Giving a Chance

Summary: He thought that his feelings would go away after the three years. He worries that she will not give him that chance. An imagining of the final episode.

Pairing: Jeankasa, implied Aruani

Rating: K

AN: So the inspiration for this story was born right after I began scrolling through AOT posts on Instagram (since I started following Jean's, Mikasa's, and Pieck's English VAs' accounts) and saw how downright nasty people can be to each other in the fandom! Anyone who even mentions Jeankasa faces an enormous wave of protests from Eremika shippers, people attack each other for suggesting that she deserves to move on and be happy even without him, and commentors fight over the whole "virginity/flowers" symbolism. It got to a point where (aside from not wanting to look at even AOT fanart anymore) I thought if Yams intended for Jeankasa to be endgame, why not illustrate how it could have evolved? How could a character continue to love the one who saved her life and still develop a loving relationship that would give her joy? I hope you enjoy reading of it as I had dreaming of it and putting pencil to paper.

Jean eagerly combed back his hair and tried to conceal his excitement that, after three long years and the most trying years of his life, he was getting closer to the dream life about which he had been dreaming for years. Any time that something was not going as intended or he missed home, he thought about what he still needed to do: get his dream apartment, find the right woman, save up for the best liquors, have a baby or two, and contemplate that he was good enough of a person to deserve those fortunes.

For whom am I trying to look good for? he thought to himself, reflecting on Pieck’s question. Not just the ladies who will read history books one day–but good looks and good vibes go hand in hand, he thought with a smirk. All they needed to do was meet with the Queen and other diplomats, and then a visit to the grave, and then…whatever else he needed to do before his dream life–much better than if he had joined the Military Police as intended years ago–could finally begin.

Then they arrived back to Paradis, wrapped up their meeting a little before twilight, and made the trip to the grave, where Mikasa was waiting for them at the bottom of the hill, and Jean felt like the atmosphere had crashed around him.

As Mikasa embraced Armin, who practically lifted her off her feet in their hug, he noticed how much she had changed, from her hair length to the style of her clothes now that she had given up the way of the warrior. He had rarely seen her in anything both so casual, so feminine, and so civilian, so the combination of pink and blue gave her a new aura of beauty. She even grew out her hair, the long hair that he remembered adoring when he first met her.

She’s still so beautiful, Jean thought to himself. However, that was not the moment to think about that. Now was the time to mourn their late friend, who died for freedom.

Jean managed to concentrate on the burden and peace that Eren had left for his beloved friends to save the destroyed world and make it better, but somehow it was easier imagined than experienced. It’s all right, Jean, he thought. Soon Paradis will be at peace. Maybe one day we can imprison or reprogram the Yeagerists, and my family won’t have to live under the Queen’s protection anymore, and then I can focus on having the perfect house and family…

Then he looked up at Mikasa, who was comforting a weeping Armin, and felt a sudden heavy pressure in his chest. All those feelings that he remembered having since they first met and stifled every time he saw how she had feelings for Eren, and feelings that he continued to suppress until they didn’t give him a dull ache in his heart, came back.

Jean gazed at her out of the corner of his eye as they waited to lay down flowers. She had already set down four–the number meaning that nothing would separate the two of them. Even after everything that Eren had put her through, risked for their loved ones, and inflicted upon the outside world, she still felt the same about him.

For three years, he thought that he had gotten over Mikasa even at the mention of her name. Then just the sound of her voice and the change in appearance unlocked what he thought was long gone.

***

The ambassadors were to stay in an undisclosed house until the Queen was certain of their outside safety. Connie, Armin, Reiner, and Jean shared one half–two men in each room–while Pieck and Annie had their own, with a kitchen between for heating tea and a bathroom for each group. After visiting Eren’s grave and a quiet dinner with the Queen, the ambassadors went to their undisclosed house while Mikasa returned to her own that the Queen set up for her and in which she was safe after returning home from Marley. Mikasa, however, was not ready to return yet. She visited with the ambassadors, caught up with them over tea, and informed them of how much worse the Yeagerists had grown. Some Paradi natives were willingly moving out of the island in hopes of finding a better life in a foreign land. This unsettled Reiner and Pieck, who planned to move back to Marley, while Annie was uncertain about her future.

“As long as we’re together,” said Connie, “do you think…we could survive this?”

Only Armin was fully convinced, but Mikasa expressed hope that it was possible.

***

Groaning, Jean kicked away the blanket and sighed into his pillow. Sleep could not come to him for two hours. It was black outside, and his body ached with fatigue.

Careful not to wake up Reiner in the other bed, Jean carefully opened the door and walked barefoot into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and looked at himself in the mirror, with his preferred stubble length and the hair that remained polished and well groomed even after a long day.

Then he unbuttoned his shirt, turned on the faucet, splashed cold water over his face twice, and cried harder than he ever did in his life.

For goodness sake, Mikasa, he bitterly thought, which made hot tears run faster down his cheeks, why can’t I get over you?! It’s been three years, and I thought things would change! If you wouldn’t change, I could… It’s been three years, and I still think about you that way! I still dream about falling in love with you, imaging you as my life partner, the mother of my children—things that I never imagined until we were getting ready to stop Eren!

Jean weakly looked at himself in the mirror. I could be everything you want, everything you need, but I’m not him! I could give you everything I have and more, but you would still love him more than anything else in the world. If you could have your way, you would bring him back to life and have a life with him–a life…a married life that I would not want with anyone I didn’t feel as I did with you! He hung his head and sobbed. Why can’t I let you go if you don’t want me?

I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life alone, he thought. You deserve love and peace, to know that there are people out there who love you and only want the best for you! Even if you gave me a chance, I would never tell you to forget about him! I would still take you to visit his grave, I would never make you get rid of that scarf, and if you ever needed to miss him, I could spend hours awake at night with you for as long as you needed it…

Jean took deep, haggard breaths and let the tears fall with the droplets dripping from his face and hair. I could be everything you want and need, but I’m not him.

***

The conferences with the Queen and the island’s earliest cohort of allies continued on for about two more weeks, leaving the ambassadors exhausted every night. It was more tiring than if they fought the Rumbling all over again, but their temporary house and tightened security gave them some assurance that things could change for the better. Dinners in which Mikasa joined them sometimes helped, though it only bothered Jean even more.

Fortunately, despite the Yeagerists taking over the island, the inhabitants continued to live as before everything changed. With mainland influence came new fashions, new technologies, new music, and new food. Two days before Reiner and Pieck were to board a steamboat back to their birth country, the alliance decided to go to a street festival and see to what extent the cuisine and fashion were growing on the island.

Jean tried not to look at Mikasa, who stayed at Armin’s side the whole time, as they walked around the festival. Some vendors were selling different flavors and types of bread, the people at an ice-cream stand were handing sample cups to about five children to taste before choosing what to buy, and, to Connie’s absolute delight, a vendor was selling various kinds of fried chicken, which he had become obsessed with while staying in Marley.

“What do you think, Mikasa?” he eagerly asked the black-haired woman who blinked at the different options like she couldn’t comprehend how people could make so many ways to make chicken taste different. Fortunately, Annie said that they would have one of everything just to let Mikasa try one of everything, from mild to spicy to sweet.

Jean sat on the opposite side of Mikasa when she and the alliance sat down with all kinds of chicken. Some of it looked gross, and some smelled so appetizing. Watching her eat from the chicken bone was kind of amusing, in Jean’s opinion, as were the faces she made. Some were too sweet, some seasonings could go together, and even some of the spicier ones were rather good. Annie, naturally, selected the ones sweetened with brown sugar and caramel flakes; Connie wolfed down his meal–one of everything, like Mikasa’s–and went back for more.

“So tell me more about the foods you ate in Marley,” said Mikasa to everyone, “and what you got to eat that I didn’t have when I…when we first went there.”

Everyone had a story to tell. Armin recalled trying grilled and fried and sauteed duck, and attempting to make his own. Connie talked about something called a sloppy joe that was messy but downright delicious. Jean mentioned escargots and how people flavored the snails. Annie, Reiner, and Pieck said that one day, hopefully soon, Mikasa could go to Marley and not be limited to just vanilla ice cream; Marley sold, and continued to make, drinkable ice cream called milkshakes offered in many delicious flavors like chocolate, peanut butter, fudge, and caramel.

Mikasa nodded along and was full after eating all the chicken, but she was so glad to try each flavor. “I will definitely taste each one,” she said quietly. “I just can’t believe that we missed out on so much.”

Jean shrugged but grinned. “That’s why, when I meet the right woman and have children, I’m taking them to events like this so they can grow up experiencing everything that I would have really liked when I was a boy.”

Most of the alliance smiled, but then Jean felt the blood drain from his face. Why did he have to mention a family, children, at that moment? Sure, he knew that adults had an expectation on children to grow up and become parents, and Jean knew his parents felt the same about him, but to actually realize that a family life was something he would like even though he never really imagined one for himself until the Rumbling was starting, when he used an imaginary future as an escape from reality, struck him almost painfully.

Well, he thought to himself as they started talking about something else, just remember–it’s not worth having a family if you are not happily partnered with someone who wants to be your partner on the biggest project of your life. Then he looked at Mikasa and the scar that he remembered from his dream. It just wouldn’t be her, since she wouldn’t want to have had a family with anyone else.

***

After Reiner and Pieck’s steamboat faded from view, Mikasa accompanied the remaining alliance to the shared house, with the Queen’s security team, to spend the night and rest so they could wake up early the next morning to reunite Connie and his mother. Annie, who had decided to start over with her life in Paradis but hoped to visit her father soon, ordered cookies and tiny cakes to munch along with their afternoon tea and sat by Armin’s side the entire afternoon. Jean, who had cooked for everyone omelets like his mother had taught him, knew that Armin was jittery about their seating position but still could not wash away that horrible feeling of jealousy.

It was a nice, sunny afternoon that day, so Jean decided to finish his work outside and conclude the day’s sunlight with his sketchbook and charcoal. Drawing was like reuniting with a friend long separated since childhood. Jean appreciated how much bigger the city appeared now that the walls were gone. He no longer felt like cattle trapped in a pen when he thought about what he had experienced.

“Jean?”

The voice gave his heart a prickling sensation. He cocked his head at the eyes that haunted his most recent dreams. He chastised himself for thinking of how beautiful she was when he knew that she could never find him as attractive. “Yes?” he hesitantly asked.

“Are you done with your tea?” she asked with her finger pointing to the cup and saucer at his side, to which he shook his head and said that he would be in later for a warmer brew. He wanted her to leave him alone so he could forget about her and fall head over heels for someone who would love him over any other man in the world.

Then again…Eren tried to push her away. He insulted her, said nasty things to her that were devastating to someone he considered a sister…but she still held on.

I’m not him, Jean thought to himself. He looked up at Mikasa peering over the balcony at life below them. He inched closer for sketching inspiration. Two children who looked to be brother and sister were carrying armfuls of books that he suspected came from the new library. An elderly couple walking by ate a doughnut split in half. Two women, one hugely pregnant, were lounging outside a cafe and laughing.

Jean sighed to himself, wistfully hoping that he didn’t have to make too many more painful sacrifices for strangers below to live these deserved lives, and noticed that Mikasa stared under the balcony and then turned away with an almost pained expression. You don’t deserve her, he thought to himself. In a fresh state of anger, he tore in half the page on which he was sketching.

Mikasa sharply moved her head in his direction. “Jean?” she asked. “What was that?”

Jean looked down at the paper half crumbled in his fist and closed his eyes. Lie, he told himself. “Just…I just hope I’m heading in the right direction,” he said. He felt her looking at him and knew that she wasn’t going to look away. Sighing, he went on: “When I was a boy, years ago… I used to sketch what I wanted in adulthood, like how I wanted my home to look in the Military Police, what the city would look like from my window…even…” He swallowed. “...even how…how I imagined what my future wife would look like.”

Mikasa didn’t move or change her expression.

Keep making things up, he thought. Don’t let her suspect anything. He looked down at the sketchbook with a heavy sigh. “But then…things are taken away from you.” He leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. “Like, the Battle of Trost, and seeing what happened to people we knew and trained with…and how I didn’t want to join the MP anymore…”

Still, Mikasa didn’t move or make a face. Jean looked away from her. “And thinking…with all that’s going on here in this island… would I be able to find someone, a woman…even though…” He stumbled and swallowed. “Even though this position as ambassador is supposed to be for the greater good of this island…what woman would want to risk her life to be with me if being an ambassador meant that Connie’s and my families had to rely on the Queen for protection?”

Mikasa knelt down at a reasonable distance from him. “Don’t you think that the right woman would want to take that risk?” she asked in her usual stoic voice. “If she loves you so much…then it would be a worthwhile relationship.”

Jean twisted his mouth. “But now…it would be hard to find her, because of the Yeagerists.” When Mikasa blinked, he explained: “Like, you don’t know who believes in them and who secretly opposes them, but you’re at a point where you can’t trust anyone for fear or retaliation.” Jean stared at the charcoal under his fingernails. “And let’s say I meet and fall for someone who used to side with the Yeagerists. I…I don’t know if I would be able to look at her the same, knowing that about her.

“Like…you know how Rico is a Yeagerist? And Hitch?”

Mikasa nodded with her mouth in a straight line.

“Let’s say they stop being Yeagerists and decided to work with us.” Jean sighed. “Like…knowing what I know now, I–I could never see myself really being even friends with them at this point in my life. It’s like when a friend lies, and it can ruin your friendship for so long, if it’s not already destroyed.”

“I understand,” said Mikasa.

Jean opened, then closed his mouth, and finally gave in. “Do you?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said. “It is already difficult for me now, especially because of my affiliation with Eren. They know how close we were, so I still get Yeagerists asking me to join them, and they always say that he did it for me, for everyone on this island.” She shook her head. “No matter how much I miss him…I could never associate myself with a group that would proudly kill innocent lives and children. What he wanted was beyond my limits, and as much as I did not want to take his life…”

Jean felt guilty for bringing up painful feelings and angry with himself for reiterating that her love for Eren was strong enough to overlook where he hurt her indirectly, such as a desire to kill even children. He remembered questioning why in Liberio he couldn’t kill that boy who turned out to be Falco. Was it because he himself was unwilling to murder a child? It didn’t matter anymore. He set down his sketchbook, picked up his cup and saucer, and walked inside, where he washed the cup and saucer through grinding teeth. I’m not him, he thought. I could be everything you ever wanted or needed in a partner, but you would see only him and fantasize about him every time we–we…

Jean tried not to think subtle thoughts–of bedsheets, of panting, hands grasping bare backs, two bodies bringing the other to pleasure, morning kisses and nuzzles, and arms around waists, of two bodies trying to spend as much time together as possible. He closed his eyes and pushed his forehead against the cabinet.

For goodness sake, why can’t I get over you?! We’ve been through so much together, good and bad, that I thought these feelings would go away! You would not even want to imagine me as anything more, let alone even dream of a married life with me! You could marry as many men as you’d like and still insist that you be buried with that scarf and beside Eren at the tree, because no man’s love could ever fill that hole that he left you!

“Jean?”

He cocked his head without pulling away from the cabinet. She had come back inside and held his sketchbook and charcoal in one hand. “You left this outside. It’s supposed to rain later today.”

His sigh was not in relief. “Thank you.” He listened to her set down the sketchbook and turned back to the saucer under the soapy water. Why can’t I let go of these thoughts…

“Excuse me?”

Jean slightly jumped. It was Mikasa’s voice. “What?” he asked.

“You said something under your breath,” she pointed out. “Something about thoughts…”

“It’s nothing,” he said. “Just…lost my faith that things could get better.” He resumed washing the cup and saucer, but she didn’t move away.

For someone who didn’t like to talk about her feelings, she was making it awfully hard to deny his emotional turmoil.

“That’s odd to say, coming from an ambassador who is working towards peace,” she said in her usual monotone.

Jean remembered when he said that he could not imagine being friends with Rico or Hitch should they leave the Yeagerists. He knew that confessing his feelings to Mikasa would destroy whatever relationship they had, and that she could never think of him as a friend again. Frustrated, he dropped the porcelain in his hands and hung his head. “It’s been three years,” he croaked, “and…I still can’t rid of these feelings I have. I thought that my time in Marley, and being an ambassador–they would go away. But then I came home after these three years…”

He gripped the edges of the sink. “I thought they would go away like my ambition to join the Military Police,” he spat. “But these feelings…why can’t I force them to go away?”

“Feelings,” she repeated.

Jean felt set up and swallowed nausea bubbling in his throat. He looked at her over his shoulder. She was somehow even more beautiful than in the cadets, despite the trauma and pain they endured from fighting the right and wrong enemies. “Mikasa,” he said with burning eyes, “I didn’t save your life, I didn’t wrap that scarf around you, I didn’t let you live with me after your entire life changed in one day…but…”

He clenched his teeth after his rushed speech. “I could be and give you everything you wanted and everything you needed, but I’m not him! I could love you with every fiber of my being, but it wouldn’t erase the pain that he left you.” When the tears came, he brushed them away. “I just want you to be happy–like Armin does, like Connie does, like everyone else, I want you to be happy.” He took a shaky breath. “I just don’t want you to be unhappy and mourn over what had been, or a dream of what could have been. I told you to kill your best friend, your soulmate, and that will haunt me every day for the rest of my life.”

He turned away his face and rinsed off the cup and saucer to put on the drying rack, but before he could turn around, a hand touched his arm. Her expression didn’t change. “I thought we could be allies again, friends…” He bit his upper lip and watched the water go down the drain. “I should never have brought this up.”

Mikasa took a shaky breath and moved her hand up his arm to his shoulder, and Jean had no other choice but to meet her eyes. “Do you see yourself…giving yourself that chance?” she whispered. “If I let you…would you?”

The nausea was coming up his throat again, and Jean made himself swallow, though it was like gulping down scalding water. “If you let me?” he repeated. He shook his head. “Even if you gave me that chance… I would never make you forget him. I would never tell you to throw away that scarf. I would spend hours awake with you if you missed him so much that you couldn’t sleep at night. I would take you to his grave as often as you wanted to go. I would never make you do anything that you didn’t want to do, or become someone you were not. I would vow to you above myself, in good and bad.”

Jean’s heart was thumping so fast that he worried that he would have a heart attack. He put his wet hands on her waist without thinking and hitched his breath. “I never pursued women in Marley, and I didn’t know why, not even other Eldian women.”

Mikasa’s eyes were of uncertainty, and Jean felt even more guilty and ashamed of himself for making her feel like she had to give in to his dreams that he harbored for years, and that he could promise her a lifetime of happiness even if he wasn’t him. He dropped his hands from her waist, but then her hands–slender and warm–cupped the sides of his jaw and lowered his head so she could kiss the middle of his forehead.

***

Jean struggled to swallow the mouthful of soup, and not just because it was boiling hot–it was spicy, like the peppers that Marleyans warned made people cry. He inhaled and moved his blistering tongue around his mouth. “Good heavens, that was hurtful,” he panted.

Mikasa twisted her mouth. “I know,” she said, “but you know that the doctor said that this will clear out your system, kill the virus in you.”

Jean turned his head away and sneezed into his sleeve. “Ugh…felt like I sneezed out a chili pepper,” he groaned.

“You may as well have,” said Mikasa. “Your nose is bleeding.”

Jean, groaning louder, sat up and impatiently pulled the shirt over his head despite his aching muscles. “Sorry to keep adding to the laundry load,” he heaved as he fell back onto his pillow.

“Do not apologize,” said Mikasa. “I’ll let the soup cool down and take this outside, all right?”

“That sounds good,” Jean whispered.

At that moment, the door opened, and a pair of tiny footsteps walked into the room. “Marco?” said Mikasa. “What is it?”

The five-year-old’s face was on the verge of crying. “Mama…my throat hurts…” He threw back his head and sneezed into the crease of his elbow, trailing colored snot.

Mikasa immediately stood up and lifted her son onto her hip. “I’ll take you into the bathroom, and you can have a nice warm bath. It’s good for fighting the flu.”

Marco whined and rubbed his forehead against her collarbone.

Mikasa had just stepped out of the bedroom when she heard heaving and lurching in the bedroom across from hers. Without knocking, she opened the door and saw her little girl sitting on the floor with her face in the wastebin pulled between her pale, shaking legs. Poor thing was too weak to walk to the bathroom. “Sasha? Sweetheart?”

The three-year-old weakly lifted her head and started crying. “Mama… make it stop… It’s like sloppy joes…”

Mikasa swiftly helped Sasha onto her other hip and carried her children into the bathroom. She positioned Sasha’s head over the toilet, drew warm water, helped Marco out of his pajamas, and lowered him into the tub. The boy nearly yelped but then closed his eyes. “I don’t feel better yet,” he whined.

“You will,” his mother promised. “It will take time.” She glanced over the tub and saw that Sasha was on the floor, pressing her forehead against the tiles. “Sasha!”

Sasha protested when her mother tried lifting her. “No, Mama, my head… it feels nice…”

“If you keep laying like that, Sasha, you will only get sicker.” Mikasa removed Sasha’s nightgown and placed her in the tub beside her brother. At their mother’s instruction, the children held their breaths, pinched their noses, and dunked their heads under the surface. Once they came back up, Mikasa gathered their germy pajamas and told them to relax and not try to drown each other while she went outside. She would come back very soon, once she hung the new load to dry.

After five minutes, Mikasa finished hanging the soaking clothes and bedsheets, had unclipped the dry linens, and carried the basket back inside. She set everything onto the kitchen table to fold later and hurried back up to the bathroom. She opened the door and saw that the children were not in the tub.

Before panic struck, she instantly saw tiny droplets of water trailing into her and Jean’s bedroom. Mikasa followed the trail and peeked inside.

Marco cuddled to his father, his head on Jean’s ribcage, while Sasha was curled to Jean’s chest. Both children were wearing fresh sleepwear, and they still had towels wrapped around their heads. The three of them, aside from the occasional cough, were napping quite peacefully. Mikasa smiled to herself and left the room to give her sick family peace.

She went into Sasha’s room to strip off the soaked bedding, but the sheets were already pulled off and in a pile at the foot of the bed. On Sasha’s pillow was a sheet of paper with Jean’s recognizable handwriting: I got this for you. You go take a nap. You deserve it.

***

When Mikasa woke up from her nap, it was already dark. She didn’t hear coughing, so the children were probably still sleeping. She could probably take down the hanging laundry from outside and set up the beds for when the children woke up.

Mikasa went downstairs with a candle, but before she went outside, she peeked into the kitchen and saw that not only was the laundry that she brought in earlier folded and stacked on the table, but also folded were the children’s sheets and pajamas that they wore before their bath. Her mouth twitched in affection, and she went into the kitchen to pick up everything.

Inside, however, she saw Jean, wearing only slippers and a towel with droplets of water on his bare back and arms, at the stove, tending to the spicy soup that she fed him earlier. He turned his head when he heard her approach him and smiled. “Did you have a nice nap?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said. “You, um…”

Jean smirked and ladled the soup into a small bowl. “Do you want one?” he asked her. “I suspect that you forgot to eat before your nap.”

He was always like that, worrying that Mikasa starved herself. She shrugged and said why not. She accepted the steaming bowl and waited for him to sit across from her before she ate. It was both spicy and hot enough to fully awaken her.

After the usual questions that Jean was all right, that he enjoyed his bath, how well were the children sleeping, and if anyone vomited or had trouble holding down food, Mikasa beckoned to the basket and folded cloths. “Why did you fold them for me? I could have done it.”

Jean shook his head. “I know, but you deserve rest. You may the only one of us who will remain in perfect health while everyone around you gets sick…but you’re my wife, my dearest love.” He set down his spoon and put his hand over hers. “Remember–we’re in this together, caring for the biggest, most important projects of our lives.”

Mikasa cocked her head and smirked. “I know–”

“But,” he cut her off before she could continue, “that doesn’t mean that I’m going to leave you to everything.” With those words, his thumb gently stroked the back of her hand. “Remember what I said all those years ago? That I would put you above myself in good and bad times?”

Mikasa didn’t say anything, but she nodded. Jean continued: “I wasn’t saying that so you would give me a chance. I said those words because I meant them, just as much as I do now.” He pulled her hand to himself and kissed her knuckles. “I love you too much.”

Mikasa could not count how many times she heard him say those words, but they always gave her a light feeling in her chest that lifted her spirits. He knew that he could never erase away her old love, nor did he attempt to, but the joy he gave her because of the love he gave and the love that he had for their children made Mikasa glad that she gave him that chance. It was unlike how she imagined her future for years, but sometimes she appreciated how her life in reality was even better than her dream life.

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