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#you MUST call it this because it is a GOOD thing and therefore NOT a sin
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If it’s alright, I have a question about Vil and Epel’s relationship. I understand that the accent changing plot line is just a cultural politeness thing that didn’t carry over outside of Japan, but the other parts of changing Epel’s behavior don’t quite make sense.
Why exactly is Epel being forced to call macarons his favorite food? And act very soft-spoken? I can’t see how these fit in with the politeness aspect of the table manners, no abrasive language, etc. It just doesn’t give a very good impression, especially in combination with the unfortunate implication of giving Epel a Southern accent for the “change your accent” plot point.
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Before I get to responding to the questions posed by this ask, allow me to explain for those who may not be familiar with this controversy! This is so we can all go into reading this post from the same starting point.
I've made titles to denote the explanation of background knowledge and to denote responding to the questions actually asked to me! If you're already familiar with the Vil-Epel-accent debacle then feel free to skip the first section!
Disclaimer: I’m speaking on these concepts as I personally understand them. However, I am not a native Japanese speaker so I’d advise that you consult additional resources with a better understanding of the language and culture. Two resources I enjoy are Yuurei and MysteryShopTLs, who have both also addressed Epel’s accent and how it was localized.
The Accent, EN vs JP
It’s well-known that Epel is a character with a heavy accent who has been explicitly told by Vil, his dorm leader, to alter the way he speaks. In EN, Epel speaks with what appears to be a southern (as in, “from the southern United States”) accent. Therefore, when Vil tells him to stop speaking in the accent, it feels as though Vil is shaming him for his southern roots and culture. This has also led to fans (especially of the EN-only sphere) thinking that Vil believes Epel’s accent is “unrefined” and “makes him sound uncouth/uneducated”, which is why Vil tells Epel to cover it up. I have even received asks conveying as much in the past (here is one example).
In the original JP, Epel speaks in a way that does not closely resemble any real-world Japanese dialect but rather a blend of them. If you ask a native Japanese speaker, they would likely tell you that it is difficult to understand what Epel is saying and that it sounds as though he is speaking rudely or too casually. People could genuinely take offense to the accent because it can be mistaken as something else entirely. This is obviously very different than the real-world accent (which many people can still understand and wouldn’t perceive as rude) that Epel was localized to have. The decision to give him a southern accent, then, does not completely carry over its original JP connotations into EN.
What remains the same in both EN and JP is the reason Vil provides for telling Epel to adjust the way he communicates. As he says in EN, “Speak properly" to which Epel immediately assumes the command comes from a place of elitism/classism and Vil thinking Epel's manner of speaking is beneath him. Vil responds with, "Stop misinterpreting my instructions. I have nothing against your home or its dialect. What I object to is your attitude. Being proud of your home is all well and good, but there is a time and a place for that. The way you address your superiors is entirely unacceptable." (Keep in mind that before this, Epel was the one instigating a fight with Vil and subsequently got his ass whooped for disrespecting an upperclassman. As the victor, he declares that Epel must do as he says--that's the "culture" of NRC. The weak obey the strong, so if Epel wants to do whatever he wants, then Vil challenges him to beat Epel in a fight. Until then, the loser must obey the winner. Epel agrees to these conditions.) This may be a little hard for western English speakers to wrap their heads around, but MANY Asian countries, Japan included, run on a hierarchical system which is embedded even into their languages. Japanese, for example, has honorifics to denote the relationship between the speaker and the listener, as well as variations on the same word depending on the context ("boku", "ore", "watashi", "atashi", etc. are all valid ways to refer to oneself, "onii-san", "onii-sama", "aniki", "kyodai", etc. are all ways to refer to a brother, whether blood-related or not). In some cases, it's considered rude to call others by their first name unless you know them well, and even then it's not common to see a first name without an honorific. This is not as strictly adhered to in English, which is perhaps where a cultural disconnect occurs. What Vil is referring to in his instructions to Epel is what is known in the world of linguistics as "code switching", or changing how one communicates to suit the situation. Part of code switching is changing one's "register", or the level of formality you use. So for example, I could use a colloquial/casual register when I speak with my friends, but I may shift to a more polite and formal register when I speak with my professors, a boss, or an older relative. Vil, then, is critiquing Epel for not speaking politely to his seniors (something which is expected in Japanese culture, but not expected among those in similar grade levels in western cultures).
In the Harveston Sledathon event, we get to venture to Epel's hometown and hear how the locals speak. Indeed, we get more instances of people who speak in the same way Epel does. It's the Harveston dialect, which is so distinctive that it basically sounds like a whole different language. (There are also languages like this in real life; consider Mandarin and Cantonese; technically they are both "Chinese" but Mandarin and Cantonese speakers would not be able to comprehend one another even if they use the same written language). However, it's notable that Marja (Epel's grandmother) and the mayor of Harveston are able to code switch flawlessly into a more standardized tongue. They explain that this is a skill they have developed because it helps in communicating with tourists/visitors to the village and for whenever they travel to the nearby city to sell their wares. This reinforces Vil's point that there is a "time and place" for certain ways of speaking, which Epel needs to consider.
Macarons and Soft-Spokeness
Accent thing aside, some English-speaking fans take issue with Vil's stern treatment of Epel, particularly in instances in which Vil seems to be exerting significant control over his underclassman's behaviors. (Japanese-speaking fans largely do not hold the same sentiment.) Examples of this include Vil forcing Epel to state that his favorite food is macarons, as well as making Epel present as soft-spoken even when he's just among his peers. I will now be addressing both of these points. TO BE CLEAR, I am NOT trying to defend Vil but rather I'm just going to speculate about why the circumstances are the way that they are and/or why perceptions of his attitude may differ.
Starting with macarons! It is stated in Epel's official profile and by Epel himself in his Birthday Boy vignettes that his favorite food is yakiniku (Japanese grilled meat). However, macarons are also listed as his favorite food, and this is notable because he's the only character with two foods listed instead of just one. In the aforementioned Birthday Boy vignettes, Epel is quick to qualify his love of meats with, "Well, I do have one thing I like even more. It's, ah, macarons." When asked what he likes about them, he says, "They're... cute. And sweet! And they come in lots of different flavors." His voice here sounds hesitant, so it's not clear whether he's being entirely honest or not. He even admits in a whisper that, "[Macarons] are not very filling, but still." Epel again complains about macarons being good but not very filling when he has some in the City of Flowers/Fleur City. To this, Azul asks, "Why do you look so unimpressed, Epel? I thought macarons were your favorite food. [...] But was my intel mistaken? Would you prefer something with a stronger flavor profile?" Epel insists he is fine, and Azul responds with, "Excellent, then my intel bears out." This creates some confusion over whether Epel actually likes macarons or not. I doubt that the information Azul has on others is inaccurate. Plus, Epel states of his own free will to the player (who is interviewing him) that he also likes macarons. This leads me to believe that while Epel doesn't outright hate macarons, he does like them alright (but still prefers grilled meat more). The only thing he seems to have an issue with is how unsubstantial macarons are as a food item.
Now... why does Vil make him state that macarons are his favorite food instead of grilled meat? It's sort of touched on in Epel's Ceremonial Robes vignettes. In them, Vil chides Epel for his poor table manners and asks him to state his favorite food. Epel responds with grilled meat/barbeque, which earns him a smack from his dorm leader. (Vil actually smacks Epel multiple times in these vignettes as punishment, which ended up being another source of ire in the English-speaking part of the fandom; such a thing is more common in Asia and its media, so it's not seen as too outrageous in Japan.) "Do my ears deceive me?" Vil says. "I could've sworn I heard a word unfit to be spoken in this noble dorm. I will ask you again. As a student of Pomefiore–a dorm founded upon the tenacity of the Fairest Queen–what is your favorite food?" From this dialogue, it can be surmised that Vil's reasoning for drilling the macarons in as Epel's favorite food is because it is something that is more befitting of the regal "image" of the Fairest Queen and the dorm made in her honor. Vil seems to regard grilled meat as an inelegant food which does not suit the Fairest Queen nor Pomefiore.
The second thing the asker brought up is Epel's soft-spokeness. I guess I'm a little confused by this??? Soft-spokeness is a part of being polite; it ties back to volume control (ie "indoor voice" being softer than "outdoor voice"). I also don't recall a specific instance of Vil chastising Epel for NOT being soft-spoken at all times. He allows Epel to be loud sometimes and raises his voice himself. I feel like volume is not something that Vil harps on as much as other things like cursing or speaking politely to the correct authority figures (unless, of course, volume is important to the level of politeness required for the current conversation). I could be wrong on this though, so please let me know if you know of any specific instances of Vil being mad about Epel speaking loudly that I may have missed! What I do find odd is how... consistently (?) Epel tries to keep polite even when Vil is not around to monitor him. When Vil and Epel first met, Vil makes it clear that there is a "time and place" for Epel's accent, and it's not when addressing seniors. So... by the logic, shouldn't Vil be okay with Epel acting more relaxed or rowdy around first years or more casual settings in general? Why does Epel need to maintain the facade of being polite even when not in the presence of his superiors? Why does Epel seem to even act fearful about word of his misbehavior/rudeness getting back to his dorm leader and even make others swear they won't divulge the incidents to Vil?
One theory I'll propose is the entirety of book 5. Vil was insistent then on having Epel in the NRC Tribe. He wanted to weaponize Epel's cuteness, which he believed could compete with his long-time rival, Neige. This probably fed into Vil's demands for Epel to appear and act dainty and innocent, traits which Neige effortlessly possesses. Vil literally even refers to Epel as his "Poison Apple" that will help him defeat Neige. After book 5, Vil seems to have eased up on his rigidity. However, I will caution that this explanation may or may not align well with vignettes and/or event stories, which do not always work in a cohesive timeline with the main story.
Perhaps a more all-encompassing explanation is... this is probably because Vil is just very strict about how his dorm members present themselves at all times, since they are expansions of Pomefiore and of himself as the leader. Both the macarons and Epel's attitude are reflections of the dorm he (a celebrity who is very aware of the public eyes on him + his reputation) is affiliated with, and Vil won't have them poorly represented. He is the dorm leader, so he has the "right" to rule and impose his ideals as he sees fit. It's a similar situation to Riddle forcing the Heartslabyul students to follow silly, nonsensical rules (because they're tradition) or risk a scolding or a beheading. And again, Epel is following along because (as established in book 5), he has agreed to submit to Vil’s orders until he beats Vil in combat.
At the end of the day, I don't think Epel being forced to call macarons his favorite food is a huge deal. Is anything that big lost in claiming you like something that isn't your actual favorite food? It's not like Vil is forcing Epel to claim he likes eating something that would actually harm him (like, if Epel had an almond allergy or something).
What's more dubious is how VIl governs Epel's attitude and temperament at seemingly all times (to the point of eliciting some apprehension from Epel). Given the most generous reading, maybe it's Vil's way of teaching Epel maturity and how to keep his voice down since Epel had zero of it and acted loudly brazen when he first enrolled. It doesn't help Epel if he's quiet and well-mannered in very limited social situations; it has to be "generalized" or expand to other scenarios for Vil's lessons to truly be instilled in him. (Like... what would happen if Vil DIDN'T hold Epel in check? His classmates would not be able to understand Epel's speech, and he might get into trouble by picking fights with others.) This is a life skill that Epel lacks, unlike his grandma and the Harveston mayor, and Vil's teaching it to him via "tough love" (though whether you approve of his methods or not is up to interpretation). Recall that Vil also teaches Epel to embrace femininity as its own strength and to disregard outdated gender norms--this could be considered another "lesson". I doubt that anything Vil imposes is done maliciously, but rather comes from a place of wanting others to be better and to shine their brightest, even if that path is difficult or painful. Epel, as the rebel in this circumstance, of course does not enjoy being told what to do and misbehaves in small ways. There’s a limit on how much he can misbehave though, as it would hurt his pride to be reminded of his failure to one-up Vil. He's like a kid that doesn't want to be caught cussing or acting out by his parent. It can be seen as immaturity and an unwillingness to change or to grow up, but it can also be seen as someone who wants to freely be able to express themselves or to be their "truest" self. Epel is rowdy and headstrong, and it's difficult for him to repress these parts of himself. Given the least generous reading, Vil is oppressing and stifling Epel in many ways that extend beyond what his dorm leader position should reasonably allow him to do. In fact, a popular fan translation for book 5 is "The Beautiful Oppressor", as Vil is frequently shown limiting the liberties of his NRC Tribe members during their training arc, not just Epel's.
Which is the truth here? Why do those in the English side of the fandom decry Vil's actions and side with Epel whereas the Japanese side see little issue with this?
I wager that this predominantly comes down to, again, cultural differences. Many English-speaking fans are based in the west (particularly the USA and Canada, where the EN servers first launched), places which emphasize individuality and self-expression. Of course they would be more likely to take Epel's side, as he's the one trying to be himself and stand out in his own way. Meanwhile collectivism--an ideology which stresses conformity with a group--dominates in the east. They are more likely to see no problems with Vil's actions because, to them, he is acting in the ways he is to "guide" Epel and show him how to best "fit in" with Pomefiore and at NRC. I believe the whole "being soft-spoken" thing also ties back to cultural differences; speaking loudly is something else that can be considered rude in Japan, so it's entirely possible that Vil encouraging Epel to be soft-spoken is another element of politeness that did not translate well to English (as the western world tends to be much louder and more animated in their conversations).
What it boils down to is that the way Vil and Epel's relationship was written did not work well for a western audience, whose values and perspective is VERY different from the original audience TWST had. It appeals far more to a Japanese fanbase than a western one, and has resulted in many misunderstandings or anger about Vil's character because of this.
I'm not sure if I managed to adequately explain everything, but I hope that this at least helps you to see from a different perspective!!
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oddmawd · 2 days
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I was trying to write before and it’s didn’t turn out good and I just stop writing and it don’t take practice you just have to be good at writing the first time you do it that is my opinion tho
i'm gonna assume you're like...12 years old...because there's no way an adult would be able to type that with a straight face
i'm not about to coddle you and give you a happy little pep-talk about ✨believing in yourself✨ after the way you treated that author...calling them a "bitch" because they don't PANDER TO YOUR SPECIFIC TASTES was a bully tactic and you should be ashamed of yourself
FURTHERMORE using a gendered insult like "bitch" and then demanding they write you a male reader insert story (while insulting female/gender neutral inserts in the same breath) is misogynistic as hell, i don't feel even the littlest bit sorry for you, so save the "woe is me, i can't write" bullshit for someone who gives a damn
but let me give you something to chew on while you throw yourself a pity-party about "not being good at writing" and pretend that gives you the right to bully people who actually TRY to be good writers:
Do Olympic athletes show up winning gold medals without ever setting foot on the practice field?
Do painters show up to their first class knowing how to use oil paints and watercolors and how to hold a brush effectively?
Did Hemingway roll out of the womb and write The Old Man and the Sea without writing a single damn thing beforehand?
no, they didn't...every writer you love wrote some SHITTY first drafts they didn't share with anyone because they sucked first (in private!) and THEN got good (in public)....and they got good by showing up and failing and trying again, and failing again and trying again and FAILING AGAIN (because that's what practicing is!!!!) until they finally started succeeding regularly...
UNLIKE YOUR CLOWN ASS THAT RAN AWAY SCARED WHEN YOUR FIRST STORY DIDN'T TURN OUT PERFECT
i'm not gonna take the easy road here and point out how fucking LAZY you sound when you say you tried once and gave up, because that's a cheap fucking shot and way too easy (you set me up so badly bro, like c'mon)
what i'm gonna do instead is point out that you just admitted that you were too fucking scared to try more than once
"BOO HOO, i wrote something, it was shitty, i was scared of what people might say and then i gave the fuck up" - you, probably
and that's the difference between we "lazy bitch" reader insert writers who actually post our work, and you: we show up and we TRY, every goddamn day, and we put ourselves out there despite the risk of being bullied by people like you who can't be bothered to try more than once
do you know what writing is, at its most fundamental level? it's showing your work to people and saying "please read this and enjoy it, i worked really hard," and PRAYING they don't tear your hard work apart for no reason at all, but that's what YOU did! you saw someone writing something they enjoyed and went "fuck you, i don't care that you labored and practiced for weeks and months, it wasn't to MY TASTES and therefore you're a lazy bitch," and you're apparently so un-selfaware that you don't realize the irony of YOU, a person who can't be bothered to try writing more than once, A) calling someone lazy, and B) demanding they spend their time/expertise to write something just for widdle ol' you, in the same breath
do you not fucking hear yourself????? huh?????
you tried writing ONCE and found out it was too hard for you, so now your answer is to bully writers and make demands of them? when you should know through your ONE attempt how difficult writing must be?
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK BRO?
you should never message a writer again with your demands when you can't even be bothered to live up to your own standards, you entitled tone-deaf hypocrite
writing takes courage, and you have ✨N O N E✨
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DPXDC prompt: Parents don’t approve of Dead on main
Fentons are geniuses but not multitaskers. They’re used to giving their all to the most important thing on the list, forgetting even food and sleep, and then going back to something else.
So when they find out that Danny is Phantom, they panic and can’t think of anything else. Well, until they see the Gotham News on TV. What does it matter if their boy’s ghost or not? He's in bad company now and dating a crime lord! That's a real problem. No time to whine about their research about the nature of ghosts. Their boy is in danger! Change of priorities, urgent change of priorities!
~~~~~
So, when Danny moves in with Jason because of identity reveal, Batman prepares for various outcomes. To the flow of GIWs in Gotham, to the parents of the boy who may continue to hunt him and even to the likelihood that Maddie and Jack will accept their child without any questions. Bruce is a genius, but he forgets to include one important variable in the equation, namely his son. Despite the anti-hero’s current status, Red Hood is still remembered by the general public for his bloody methods of controlling Crime Alley. Which could definitely bother..anyone, to be honest. And it's understandable that video of Red Hood and Phantom beating Black Mask up on news did not make a pleasant first impression.
However, Bruce himself know a completely different side of his son and therefore could not tolerate the completely unfounded accusations from Maddie. Batman: How dare you! My boy is an angel. Your son is incredibly lucky to have such a thoughtful and caring partner. Jack: Yeah? I don't think so. How do we know he’s not just going to use Danno powers in his criminal plans? Maddie: We’re taking our boy home and it’s out of the question. Batman: Yeah? And how do we know you’re not just taking him for your experiments? Danny *whispers*: Um, Jay, we should go away, if you remember. Red Hood *whispers*: Yeah, yeah, I know. But just listen to it. Usually we can not get a word out of him. A temporary cure for emotional constipation is a true miracle. May your parents stay longer if, you know, they will not try to shoot you or smth else?
~~~~~
Maddie at home*aggressively filing a petition against anti-ecto laws*: I don’t care if the parental rights aren’t over the ghosts. How dare a bloody furry tell me I have no official right to take my son home and shove my own quotes in my face calling him a thing?!
Vlad who has long wanted to get rid of GIW *enters the house*: Bonjour, need a helping hand? Jack and Maddie *exchange glances without knowing if Danny’s secret should be revealed to their friend*. Vlad: Oh, for Ancients’s sake. *Snaps his fingers and goes Plasmius* Vlad: I’m also a stakeholder in it, okay? ~~~after two hours of talking~~~ Jack: Wait, V-man, if you know about Danny being Phantom, you know about his boyfriend too? Vlad: Red Hood? How could I not. I often visit Gotham for business deals. This is a favorite topic of newspapers and gossip. I don’t know who he is without a mask but I must admit the guy has a good aim, a lot better than you, Jack. Maddie: *pulls out the Ghost Peeler*
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lucysarah-c · 4 months
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"Alright, spill the beans," Erwin said as he sat down on the couch, opening a beer can and crossing his legs. He could hardly contain his smile. Mike and Hange stared intensely at the shorter man. Levi had told them he had something to "share," and he hardly ever shared anything. Therefore, all attention and the floor were his.
The group of friends grew more and more curious as Levi seemed unsure, almost shy. His finger tapped his beer can uneasily as he pressed his lips together. "Fine, but don't fucking laugh."
"I can't promise you that," Hange quickly confirmed, making the other two chuckle but also agree. Levi just sighed resigned.
"Y/N… Y/N found a thong that wasn't hers among her clothes."
Erwin, who was sipping his drink, spat it out in shock at how quickly the situation escalated.
"WHAT?!" Hange tilted forward as they heard what happened while the rest looked in shock, mouths open. "You CHEATED on your 9-year-long girlfriend?!"
"No!" Levi almost shouted back. "That's what I'm trying to explain!"
It was Monday night. We had dinner after coming home, the usual routine. I was doing the dishes after she got out of the shower, and I heard her steps going down the stairs very heavily. That was the first thing that caught my attention, and before I knew it was her, still freshly showered, looking at me and pulling out a red thong, stretching it between her hands. "Whose are these?" My mind went automatically blank. I saw her resting her hand on her hip and frowning back at me. "I-uh." "Because they are not mine," she insisted, her anger palpable. I swear I was trying to speak, but I could only mumble broken shit as she stared back at me as if she was searching for my soul. "Levi Ackerman, WHOSE ARE THESE?" "I- I don't know, I don't fucking know. I swear," I quickly replied as I blinked, trying to find a solution. My mind started to question everything. 'I'm Levi Ackerman… I'm conscious of my actions… I haven't cheated on my girlfriend,' yet I was sweating as if I had. I had no idea whose those were. It was obvious that they weren't hers, apparently, but I've not slept with another woman in years, so I didn't even know where they could have come from. I doubted my entire existence, I began to wonder if I had been drugged and perhaps did something that I didn't recall. The tears, when she began sobbing softly. I felt like the worst human being. "How could you? After all these years…" "No, no, I fucking swear," I said, growing anxious. I don't even own social media accounts; I don't have a password on my phone. I hate cheaters; I would never do something like that to her, to anyone. For a split second, I thought it would have been easier to lie and explain that it was mine somehow. In that moment, my phone started to ring with one of the numbers I have on priorities as she began to walk up stairs. I rushed to pick it up. "Call you later." "Bro, everything okay?" Isabel's voice came from the speakers as she had called me on FaceTime, as she usually does. Apparently, I forgot to hang up as I was walking behind Y/N. "Y/N, I swear on my mother that I don't know whose are those." I was trying to explain myself when Isabel's voice came from the phone again. "There they are! I was wondering where I left them!"
"Apparently, it was from one time they all came over to my house for the pool. I must have put it in the laundry and thought they were Y/N's," Levi finished the tale as the rest looked at him surprised and entertained.
"Didn't you think they could be Isabel's?" Erwin questioned back between chuckles.
"No! How was I supposed to know a red thong was Isabel's!" Levi commented as his cheeks got slightly red.
"Levi… Isabel is 23 already…" Mike said slowly as he tried to make his friend process the idea.
"Tch," Levi took a good sip from his beer as he processed the idea. "You've no idea how fucking scared I was, and when Isabel said they were hers… fucking shit, I never breathed more peacefully in my entire life."
"That happens to you because you do laundry. Since I never do laundry, I don't have those issues," Hange said entertained, but Levi looked back at the brunette dead in the eyes.
Tag list!: @nube55 @justkon @notgoodforlife @jimoonbeau @nmlkys @humanitys-strongest-bamf @quillinhand @thoreeo @darkstarlight82 @i-literally-cant-with-this @angelofthorr @aomio4 @levisbrat25 @fxnnyackerman @secretmoneybearvoid @trashblackrainbow @l3visthighs @hum4n-wr3ckag3 Wanna join my tag list? here!
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please tell us more about your mad theory about the tories getting rid of Sunak?
So the Tories currently have two (2) major problems.
Problem the first: they are about to lose power as soon as the GE rolls around, which it must do by January 2025 at the absolute latest. And the country is baying for one sooner.
This is very much preoccupying their minds at the minute. The rich and powerful will never willingly let you vote away their wealth and power, and to put this into perspective, the Tory party has ruled this country either jointly or alone for over a decade at this point. One of David Cameron's strategies as leader was to focus on recruitment of young and exciting diverse Tories into the party, which is how we got such stellar entries as Liz Truss and Priti Patel and Suella Braverman. These are MPs, therefore, who have never known political life outside of being on the winning side. They are seeing the end of the gravy train in sight, and they are taking it as well as you'd expect.
This is why the infighting is so rife (partly; bear with). The main thing they care about right now is making the party electable again, and fast.
But...
Problem the second: like all good fascist dictators, when Boris Johnson came to power, he fired everyone who said anything bad about him for disloyalty, and promoted all his personal friends. This is how we got such stellar entries as Nadine Dorries and Jacob Rees Mogg and Michael Fabricant. But THAT'S an issue because saying bad things about BJ is basically what intelligent people did, because the man was a useless blundering oaf who killed horrifying numbers of his own electorate via the world's second worst mismanagement of a global pandemic. So removing anyone who criticised him meant, in very real terms, removing the only Tories with half a brain who were even a fraction capable of doing joined up thinking required to run a country. Like, fuck every Tory with a cactus, obviously, but they did at least used to have competent, high calibre politicians, however evil and grotesque they were. David Cameron should die in a cesspit, but he was capable of remembering to put the bins out (before wage cutting the refuse collectors).
And therein lies the real problem: okay, BJ is gone, the party is in ruin, they're staring down the barrel of the most humiliating election defeat in history. They need someone competent that they all like who can take the reins and make people like them again.
But who's left?
There's no one. There's no one left. Not just because the remaining Tories are too low calibre to lead; they're too low calibre to even be able to pick someone without shrieking like cliquey little harridans on the playground about how the wrong in-group got in. Half of them are still BJ loyalists who hate anyone who criticise The Great Brexit Leader. The other half hate BJ for managing to make everyone hate the Tories so much that they're in this mess. Both halves are willing to sabotage the chosen leader of the other, locked in a battle of mutually assured destruction.
So how does Sunak fit into this?
He's unpopular in the party to a truly staggering degree, and not much better in the eyes of the public. He's tried to take a centrist stance on BJ, but that's actually just pissed off both sides. He did manage to stabilise the economy somewhat after the appalling mess Liz Truss threw it into, but he hasn't actually fixed it - we're still mid-cost of living crisis, we're still inexplicably not rich after Brexit like Boris prommied, inflation is still at an all time high as public services crash. The public hates him.
And he hasn't made the public stop hating the Tories. That petition calling for a GE is great, because it won't happen - BUT, it does force the issue to be debated in Parliament with opposition parties getting to stick the boot in, which means the humiliation continues. The Tories are starting to get desperate again.
And because this lot of Tories are, as mentioned, utterly terrible low-calibre political idiots, their response to this pressure has for the last four years been to oust the leader and get another.
And the first letters of no confidence have been sent into the 1922 Committee already. The devil moves fast, but knuckle dragging Tories with a fifth of a braincell each move faster.
And thanks to the absolute fucking state of them all... I cannot believe I'm saying these words, but genuinely the best person they have left who could possibly do the job is, of all fucking people, Michael Fucking Gove, and it won't even be him because he was mean to Boris once.
So yeah. I reckon Sunak may be out in six months. Fuck knows who we get instead. Probably Penny Mordaunt.
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iwishf1wasreal · 1 month
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NSFW F1 Driver Profiles: ✴ Max Verstappen ✴
smut ✴ 18+ readers only please
I. Flirt.
He’s not exactly known as a certified rizzster, but he does carry that Champion’s confidence and aura of success everywhere he goes. That usually works in his favour, but he would only approach if he were solidly in his own element. You’re a guest in the garage? Perfect. You’ve stumbled into the club where he’s having his birthday party in the VIP section? No problem, he’ll get you through the ropes. He’s much better at flirting once he’s in a relationship and you’ve established rapport and trust. He would rather be quiet than look stupid, which pretty much dissipates once you’re officially dating. Then, he’s more than glad to look like an idiot in front of you, especially if it will make you laugh.
II. Propositioning. 
He’s honest and extremely blunt. Straight up asks “do you want to have sex right now?” or “can we fuck when we get back to the hotel?” He purposefully enjoys saying it explicitly in front of someone, so it will instantly have your cheeks burning and your eyes furiously glaring at him. Max likes riling you up. He also likes that you smack or kick him in reaction. Then you yell at him about being a true menace to society or punctuate your whacks with You’re! So! Crude! And then he just has to make good on the accusation, doesn’t he? 
III. Libido.
It's pretty high. If you ended up fucking every time he felt like it, it might end up being two or three times a day. This isn’t to say that can’t or hasn’t been achieved, but it's not exactly practical when he has such a meticulously timed day, down to the approximate minute he must be asleep. But he’d roll his eyes if you ever told him that you considered him a sexual person. It’s not that he doesn’t think he is; it's just that the entire concept of sexual person seems redundant to him. Humans are sexual. Humans have the animal urge to procreate; therefore, it’s built into the human experience. It just seems like an unnecessary distinction to him. But he craves sex; he loves it and is constantly either thinking about it or talking about it. Despite this, he still has the audacity to turn to you and shape his mouth to say, “oh, so you.” with an evil smirk when he finds out what the word ‘nymphomaniac’ means. 
IV. Turn-Ons: tame & nasty.
Tame: Your exposed neck. String bikinis. A thong’s whale tail. When your Dutch isn’t half bad. Back massages. Treating you to nice things. Referring to his cats as your own. When you stand behind him whilst he’s sitting and run your hands down the planes of his body. That time he somehow was able to go to Oktoberfest, and you wore that traditional dress (he’s honestly never stopped thinking about your titties in it). Coming and straddling his lap when he calls you over. When you subconsciously reach for him in the middle of the night. Ignoring other men in favour of paying him attention. Calling him a world champion. Whenever you let him hang all over you. 
Nasty: Spanking. The way your ass ripples after getting spanked. Watching you undress while he remains fully clothed. Telling you what to do and filming it. Sundress and no panties. Your scent after sex. You taking control. Your hand around his throat. Nudes taken with his trophies. Cumming on your chest. Doing it in the dark with the big hotel windows open and city lights twinkling. Threesomes but only with another woman...for now. When you talk him through a handjob/blowjob and an orgasm (sometimes he likes it if you’re a little mean, too). When he does something embarrassing or awkward during sex and you just sweep his hair out of his eyes and laugh because it’s no big deal. 
V. Self-stimulation.
Porn is definitely an option for Max. He won’t be forthright with it, but he’s seen his fair share of the degrading, aggressive stuff. Obviously, you’d wring his neck if you found out that not only is a multi-millionaire too cheap to pay for his porn, but he’s freeriding on the most misogynist content he could find. Well, now that he’s a spoken-for man, he has a hard time keeping it up for women who aren’t you. It’s like he’s imprinted on you; he can only finish if he lets his memory/imagination or private folder on his phone take over. He’s not above a midnight call to you—really no regard for whatever you might be doing (and that’s kinda part of the fun)---all whiny and horny and begging you to at least stay on the line while he strokes off. 
VI. Foreplay.
He lowkey needs foreplay. His ego would never let him admit it, but sex is quite emotional for him. Max has never really excelled with one-night stands because he either finds himself not caring enough or caring too much. He felt like things changed between you once you started sleeping together–in the best way possible. Of course, there are occasions when you’re both just raring and pawing at each other as fast as you can. But generally, he likes to be warmed up and tended to, too. Dry humping is always a good time for him, and he likes watching you work your hips against him (and the patch of wetness that always transfers from your clothes to his) He’s also a big kisser. During sex, before, after, or without even thinking about sex, he wants to kiss you. Likes the heat of your breath, the soft feel of your tongue. Anywhere. Everywhere. 
VII. Rhythm.
To be honest, because of his headstrong tendencies and fast-paced thinking, it’s sort of become your job to set the rhythm. It’s not even that he wants to take you fast and hard; he just kind of…does. Even when he’s in a romantic headspace, he can just have a hard time slowing down and enjoying the moment. It’s not really a surprise to you. It’s the same way he is in every other part of his life. He doesn’t always realise that the habit of trying to speed through his least favourite parts of life has bled over into rushing through some of the good things too. No need to worry, though. The slow rock of your hips, the sweetness of your voice, and the patience in your hands is all he really needs. Maybe that’s why even thinking about sex with someone else is hard. You just get him. You take care of him. You give him exactly what he needs. 
VIII. How He Likes It.
Personally, he likes it deep. Especially because you are usually in more controlling positions. The eye contact, the kisses, the dirty talk. It’s just so much better. His favourite would be any variation on cowgirl (equally fond of front-facing and reverse–for titties and ass, respectively). He feels best in what some might call the chair position, where you’ll sit on his lap as he sits on the bed or a chair. In this position, he can hit your g-spot almost certainly while one of his hands works your clit. He’ll kiss down your shoulder, your cheek, your neck while your hands roam his thighs and your own body, reaching down to feel the two of you connecting. He’s somewhat willing to try new things but only for so long til he’s huffing and just whining for you to crawl on his lap and take over. 
IX. Location, location, location.
Craziest is probably in an alleyway behind a club. Really only is deemed the craziest because of how many close calls you had while trying to do it. You both know it would be a disaster if anyone found out; however… There are not usually many people wandering the streets at 3am and with so many restrictions with his fame and so much alcohol in your systems, it wasn’t that hard to convince you to give it a go. However, his favourite ‘place’ you’ve ever had sex is, for sure, the post-win blowjob he gets after every win. Obviously, some wins are more key than others, so you’ll do the best you can to create unique experiences for him each time. But honestly, he doesn’t really care. Just needs the warmth of your mouth and the shine of pride in your eyes when he’s finished. He also fantasises about Private Jet sex, even came close a few times when he still owned his. But the prophecy was not complete without you. 
X. Kink.
Pretty kinky. He’s down to try a lot but also has hard boundaries he has no issue expressing. He can be sweet and gentle and loving just as much as he can be rough and aggressive. He’s pretty good at catering to what you both feel at the moment. If you need him to go softer or just want to feel him better, nuzzling your face shyly into his neck with a soft whine of the request, he’s instantly adapting to what you want. It’s not that you’re “in charge”; he just really wants to please you. Or, if the mood strikes and you feel turned on by the clench in his jaw and the frustration of his voice, you’re more than willing to ask him to take it all out on you. And he can give you that too. The biggest fantasy fulfilled is probably after-race sex of any variety, even with his press officer banging incessantly on the locked door while you try and make use of the three whole minutes you have until his trainer comes back with the key. Despite how common it is, he’s not really into the Daddy or Mommy kink. He’d never outright say it, but he’s got enough mommy and daddy issues; he doesn’t need to confuse his psyche by bringing you into the mix, too. 
XI. Bedroom aids/Toys 
Feels pretty neutral about toys. Again, his common sense kind of takes over, and he gets why you need it. Does hold on to some hope that you don’t use it while he’s home and he’s readily available. Though if he is gaming all day and won’t tear himself way…Sometimes you’ll just set up the vibrator to rattle loudly against the headboard, so he knows what you’re doing. Almost always, he’ll get off the game and come play with you instead. He likes a lot of lube, if available. If he could squeeze some more ooey gooey stuff all over you just to make it nastier and wetter, he would. 
XII. Cum. 
He’s messy finisher. Not just on you but generally. He doesn’t care about messing up the bed or leaving too much evidence. To him, it’s sex; how are you supposed to control yourself during it? What, like people, can actually plan where they’ll cum? Perhaps it’s because he grew up relatively wealthy, or he’s just gotten used to people picking up after him. The number of times he’d told you, “just leave it, babe. The maids will get it.” while you scoff horrified at him. You make sure he realises his mistake, flinging whatever soiled garment at his face. 
XIII. Pleasure reciprocation. 
He’ll go down on you if you’re into it. He tends to think he’s probably a little bit better than he is, but he’s not bad. If anything, he’s got a passion and dedication for it. He likes the feeling of making you finish quickly or making you feel so good you can’t even keep your eyes open. He’s experienced but still clumsy. He knows his way around (mostly) but likes it better when you tell him what feels good or react to what he’s doing. He doesn’t have enough patience to keep the focus on you for /forever/ so he’s not one to spend hours down there but you get your fair share.  
XIV. Bonus.
Once you had sex in front of two of his friends who were touching themselves. It kinda just happened. You were out glamping for some EDM festival in Europe, pretending to have the humility of camping with all the five star amenities you could need. It was in the early hours of the morning after you’d been partying all night. One of them had complimented you, telling Max he was lucky to have a girlfriend like you. Then, Max kissed you. Never a huge fan of PDA, you always followed his lead on how much he wanted to show to the public. But then his hand was up yours skirt and when you broke away, he used his strength against you to pull you closer and kiss down your neck. Max was two fingers deep into you by the time you even remembered his friends were in the room. He told you to talk them through it, just like you did for him. But you couldn’t. First, the pads of his fingers had reached deep and found the spot that made it hard to thing, let alone talk. You weren’t much of an instructor, mumbling a few cues before popping the button on Max’s pants and pulling him free. He was breathing heavy and hard in your ear, moans muffled against your skin as you faced his friends. They’d fully thrown themselves into to pleasure, hands wrapped around their dicks and stroking in the same deseperate rhythm you were working with Max. As you neared an orgasm, you spread your legs, giving his friends a better view of how he filled you. It drove Max crazy, he moaned against your neck, a cocky laugh coming off the end of it. His friends finished before you–unable to keep up with the pace you and Max had set. Then, Max who helped you ride out your own after him, brain only malfunctioning a few times as you milked him into overstimulation. He made sure to show off how he’d finished inside you to his friends. Then the two of you just showered and went to bed like it never happened. 
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avocado-writing · 3 months
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roadtrip au
I can’t stop thinking about a modern au roadtrip and what everyone would be doing in the minivan you definitely have. I’m sorry if this has been done before but -
Tav
You’re driving. Would you trust any of those other fools to? No. Absolutely not letting them behind the wheel
Responsible for keeping the schedule. You have to be at your destination on time and you’ll be damned if they’ll stop you.
The only person you sometimes let take over if you need a break is —
Gale
Let’s be real. Only other one of you with a driving license.
he sits shotgun mostly because he reads the map for you if your GPS goes out.
tries to work out shortcuts. Fails miserably. If you follow his “time saving” directions you’ll get so fucking lost. Only trust him to read out your planned route and nothing else.
Astarion
Fucking hates road trips. Catch him with a sleep mask on and headphones in. Will absolutely sleep through the whole entire thing.
Let’s be clear. He doesn’t NEED to sleep. But he does because he can’t fucking stand car talk. Would rather listen to podcasts and be in his own world. especially because of —
Lae’zel
Hates road trips too but because she’s a terrible backseat driver. Doesn’t understand why you can’t speed all the way there to make the trip more efficient, or take out other cars.
rolls down the window to shout at people on the road who she thinks are driving poorly.
Gets in fights with people at the gas station when you stop to refuel the car. And also in the car with —
Shadowheart
Always there to bicker with Lae’zel. When she’s not doing that she’s brooding out of the window.
Mutters that this must be some sort of trial from her god, because she is suffering being stuck in this minivan.
does fall asleep on the shoulder of the person sitting next to her though. (Often Lae’zel. Weird they always sit next to each other when they can’t seem to get along… but Lae’zel does let her sleep, claiming that the silence is better.)
Karlach
One of the few people who enjoys the ride!
likes to call out farm animals she sees as you drive by. “Sheep!” or “cows!”
LOVES a game of yellow car. Especially the version where you punch each other. Therefore she doesn’t get many volunteers to sit next to her.
Wyll
He controls the music and the aux cord. People all approve of his music tastes. Makes the best playlists, change my mind
he’s often singing along too, he has a nice voice, catch him and Tav belting out “unwritten” at the top of their lungs as you speed down the motorway.
helps settle fights in the van. Massive peacekeeper. If there was no Wyll there would be no roadtrip.
Halsin
Hates being in a car but sucks it up and does it anyway.
this man is the snack master. He brings all the snacks. And good stuff too, like a lot of nice sweets and crisps…
… because if people are eating they aren’t arguing.
likes to be next to a window so he can see nature go by, gets into conversations with Karlach about the animals and trees around 💕
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How bout angel dust, Verosika and Alastor with a puppy hybrid s/o? Like, they have puppy ears and tail and has some dog like tendencies?
For example: they love to bite and play with dog toys,they bark and growl, they LOVE headpats and being called "good boy/girl"
You can remove 2 characters if it's too much.
"Good Puppy!" ; Alastor, Angel Dust, Verosika Mayday
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I'll be honest here: I have no idea how you got this to happen, because this man absolutely HATES dogs, and therefore hated you when he first met you. And he's honestly quite possibly the worst one to be with as a puppy hybrid.
He was exceptionally cruel, calling you a "mangey mongrel", a "rabid mutt", and just about any cruel name for a dog under the sun.
Will try to make you act more human. He'd despise your dog features. Dogs remind him of his death, and that's something he'd rather not deal with.
If you've managed to start dating him, he'll be slightly more polite, but still make his distaste for those features very apparent to you.
"S/O, must you constantly be wiggling that furry abomination?"
It isn't that he means to be mean, but, well, in some primal way, you scare him, and he doesn't know how to cope with feeling that helpless.
If you growl or bark at him, you will ROYALLY piss him off, and he will actually need to leave to avoid either lashing out at you or having a mental breakdown.
Fortunately, with enough time and patience, he will eventually calm down and begin to regard you as safe, and not someone he needs to fear. Then he'll become noticeably kinder to you.
"Well, aren't you just a dandy little pup! Excited to see me, hm? Such a good boy/girl~."
He may have started off cold, but he's trying to be better for you now.
He isn't sure how he feels about dog toys and the like, but hey, he's a literal cannibal and serial killer, who is he to judge? As long as you're having fun.
Eventually, he'll begin to give you those headpats you so crave, realizing how happy it makes you. He can stand a bit of discomfort for your sake.
But seriously... please don't bark or growl at him, he still doesn't like the moment of panic he's forced to feel when that happens.
He wouldn't do it to you, so don't do it to him. That's his one boundary with your dog-like behavior/appearance.
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Oh boy. He'd be the one constantly flirting and teasing you for your traits, but in a loving (and very NSFW) manner.
"What's with the tail, Ears? Got a pet play kink or somethin'?"
When he finds out you ACTUALLY enjoy being called a good boy, that actually sets off every single one of his teasing instincts.
Every single day, you'll hear a joke about you having a praise kink, purely because it makes Angel laugh.
But he's only teasing, of course. If you actually tell him you're uncomfortable, of course he'll stop. The last thing he wants is for you to feel uncomfortable with him.
He'll also get you dog toys and chew toys if you find them fun!
And his absolute favorite thing to do is pet your ears and ruffle your tail, especially if they're as fluffy as his chest is! He finds the sensation soothing.
If you growl at him, chances are he'll growl back at you just to mess with you.
Or he'll make a claw motion and do the little "rawr~" thing because he finds it amusing how you react when you don't know how to respond to something.
He'll also definitely tease you if your tail ever wags.
"That a tail or are ya just happy ta see me, baby boy~?"
He's a tease but... very sweet. Toward you, at least.
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At first, she didn't really see the appeal of dating a puppy hybrid. She treats Vortex like a guard dog, and she initially expected you to be the same.
But of course, who could resist a cute puppy? She quickly warmed up to you, finding you absolutely adorable. Whereas Verosika is sultry and seductive, you were cute and innocent, and she loved that about you.
She'd often find herself petting your head and telling you what a good boy/girl you were, seemingly without actually consciously meaning to. She just couldn't resist, the puppy eyes were too much for her!
"Aww, S/O! Such a good boy/girl! Who's my good boy/girl? You are! Yes you are!"
Yeah, even after you start dating, that doesn't change. She still calls you that, but her affections now run even deeper.
As in, she buys you a LOT of dog toys. A lot. She doesn't know why you love them so much, but she knows she wants you to be happy, because you absolutely deserve it.
She's also greatly amused whenever you bark or growl, but shh, don't tell anyone. That isn't part of her persona!
Sometimes, when you're cuddling, she'll wrap her tail around yours and slowly wag them both, since she knows it both stimulates you and expresses affection.
She'd also probably use your barking and growling to her advantage to scare people she doesn't like off. Nine times out of ten, it works. Dogs can be pretty scary when they're not being friendly actively, and puppies are no different.
"That was amazing, S/O. You really know how to scare a little bitch off!"
You didn't really mean to scare anyone, but you were happy Verosika was happy.
She did send that person an apology note at your insistence, though, luckily.
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eamour · 1 month
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persistence, repetition and more.
one common misconception that people believe in is that persistence equals repetition. this, however, isn’t true! persistence must not be confused with repetition, but rather persistent acceptance.
persistence.
to persist simply means to continue to "do" something despite difficulty, opposition or, how we would call it, circumstances. what you "do" is keep assuming a new reality for yourself and accepting it to be true no matter what. persistence, or in other words consistence, doesn’t mean repetition. it means ACCEPTANCE.
the purpose of persistence.
persisting doesn’t mean to think about your desire all the time, nor does it mean affirming a certain statement 24/7. you don't have to think of all the things you have manifested (consciously or subconsciously) for them to remain in your reality. they do not cease to exist just because you don't actively acknowledge them. so, why would you force yourself to think of something for it to materialise in your reality?
repetition.
repetition itself or doing a method repeatedly isn’t what manifests. a method cannot manifest, no matter how many times you do it. a method holds no power on its own. you, on the other hand, very much do. you allow a method to be useful and beneficial for you.
the purpose of repetition.
mindlessly repeating affirmations, scripting the same scene a couple of times or just generally doing one method over and over again won’t help you manifest your desire IF you don’t change SELF. if you don’t shift your state of being through methods, if it doesn’t help you believe in a new concept of self, if it doesn’t make you accept your desire as a present fact, then you can do the method as many times as you please — you will remain the same. a method's purpose in combination with how many times you practice it, is to help you ACCEPT.
remembrance.
you will naturally think of your desire. it will naturally pop up in your mind from time to time — especially if it's something you genuinely desire. the more you desire it, the more you will think of it, the more you will naturally remember it.
the purpose of remembrance.
when you think of your desire, when you are reminded of it, you tell yourself that you already have or are it. you go from thinking OF your desire to thinking FROM it. you fulfill yourself by giving your desire to yourself then and there and move on with your day. you don't need to continuously remind yourself of it but continue to persist in your ASSUMPTION. as long as you don't go back and change your mind (wavering), it's all good!
acceptance.
to accept something means to believe or know something to be true, correct or valid. it's a feeling. a feeling that makes you feel if something is real or unreal. our general understanding of feeling is equivalent to accepting, as well as knowing, believing or assuming. they all refer to the same. you accept something to either be true or false, therefore you FEEL it to be so. all of this takes place in imagination. to accept also means to imagine. it means to think.
the purpose of acceptance.
through acceptance, we can change self. acceptance enables us to believe new, desired conceptions about ourselves to be true. through acceptance, you can accept new convictions of self and reality.
whenever you feel desire, try to accept it. accept it as yours. accept it in its fullness. accept it entirely and completely. focus on the state of having your desire. embody your desire, identify with it. become the version of self who has or is your desired thing. know your assumption to be true. fulfill and satisfy self from within. experience the ACCEPTANCE of the wish fulfilled.
with love, ella.
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star-suh · 5 months
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Delivery Boy
Johnny Suh x Male Reader
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cw: dom-ish top johnny, johnny has a big thick dick… man's hung >:D, rough sex, spit play, dub-con, blowjob, deepthroat, unprotected sex, dumbification, underwear gagging, a bit of degradation, musk kink, choking, tummy bulge, creampie, cumming hands-free, pwp.
an: the mission = end the johnny suh drought.
it was sunday and yn was bored and the bastard decided to make prank calls to the local pizzeria, ordering pizzas with fake voice tones and giving wrong addresses that led to nowhere. one of the delivery boys, johnny, was starting to lose his patience, then the phone rang and he answered “hello, pizzeria, can i take your order?”, “oh yeah hello” on the other side of the phone yn was snickering trying hard to not laugh, “i want the extra large with lots of cheese please”. unfortunately, yn got careless and spoke with his normal voice tone and johnny recognized him, now knowing who the idiot behind the prank calls was, he was ready to give him a spoonful of his own medicine…
someone was calling at yn's door, he was weirded the fuck out because he wasn't expecting visits at night, “oh hello johnny” yn greeted laughing nervously “what are you doing here?”, “came here because someone ordered a pizza” johnny was unfazed. “i'm s-sorry i di-didn't ordered a pizza. you must be confused”. “why are you stuttering ynnie? you didn't stutter while making those prank calls” smirked the taller. “what?” 
johnny forced himself into yn's house pushing him against the wall, with one hand he grabs the other by both wrists and put them above him and unconsciously putting his knee right under yn's crotch “cut the bullshit yn, i know you were the one behind those calls”. “i'm not, you dumbass” he answered, trying to get out of the other's grip.
“do you know how much time we've wasted,how much money did we lose, all because fucking yn was bored”, johnny pressed his knee more feeling the bulge above it. his head hang low… he smirks and look at yn directly into his eyes “you like it rough huh?” his evil smile sending shivers all over yn's body. “l-let me go please” yn begged “i would pay for all the pizzas but don't hurt me. “well… you have to pay for them of course but i want something else to make up for the wasted time” his knee pressed harder and harder on yn's bulge, making him moan shyly. 
yn's eyes wandered on johnny's body and that's where he noticed the bulge on his pants ‘looks heavy’ he thought, a blush appearing on his cheeks. 
johnny forces yn to kneel down, then the next thing yn knows is johnny's thick big cock coming out of his pants and landing on top of his face, yn sniffed his balls and shaft, the muski scent making him feel dizzy. “open up” johnny demanded and yn obeyed “that's a good whore” inch by inch the taller's cock intruded into his wet mouth, until it was balls deep. his cock was so big and thick that it formed a bulge on the other's throat. when he pulls out he wowed watching his cock dripping in thick saliva, he shakes it a bit and then put it on yn's face smearing the saliva on it too. watching how hot he looked with all that saliva, johnny grabbed him by the jaw opening his mouth and spitting on it kissing him right away, playing with the spit inside their mouths. 
johnny once again introduced his cock on the other male's mouth, thrusting hard this time forcing yn to deepthroat him while pinching his nose to make him gasp for air and therefore thightening more his throat “is so fucking thight. who would've thought your mouth would feel this good. shit!”. with every thrust johnny did yn's head bumped against the wall, tears falling down his cheeks. johnnt kept mouthfucking yn until he flooded it with his seed, laughing at how yn was massaging his jaw for how sore it was.
johnny lifted yn and pushed him against the wall, he tapped his thighs “open wide”, yn obeyed , opening his legs and showing his pink hole to the taller. johnny slaps right into the hole making yn moan and his legs tremble, the top slapped the tip right into the hole and introduce it all at once forming a bulge in yn's lower tummy “ugh.. so.. fu..cking big~” he slurred, feeling the big thing rearranging his insides.
each thrust was stronger than the last, yn could feel the anger that johnny had at him for what he did that could have cost johnny's job, “slow… down plea-” the bottom couldn't finish his sentence because the other gagged him with his underwear “you look better being quiet” he whispered.
yn's legs were shaking for how rough johnny fucked him, he pulled out his cock appreciating the puckered gaping hole spitting on it and watching how it rolled deep down the other's insides, johnny pushed yn's head against the wall with his big hand “you've been a bad guy yn” he says “you don't deserve my cum inside you”. he takes out his cock and starts to stroke it while still pushing the other's head. lots of thick gooey cum came from the tip of his cock, painting yn's back and ass cheeks in white “however, the time we spent now was very hot and i kinda like it so maybe you deserve to have just a little bit of it inside you” and as he says that, he puts his cock back in, which still had traces of cum on the tip. the thrust was so hard and reached so deep inside him that it made yn cum hands-free.
johnny finishes and yn fell down the floor, his legs kept shaking and he was tired, “next time think before making a prank again” johnny was about to leave when he heard yn mumbling something “maybe i should keep doing pranks specially in where you work”. yn was laughing, he enjoyed it and he wanted more. johnny scoffed and smirked “you're an unbelievable son of a bitch. keep doing those pranks then” leaving right away.
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ancientgoddessofegypt · 6 months
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Neptune Placements and Subconscious Manifestation
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Neptunians have a calling in their souls path that utilizes the subconscious prowells of the underworld and higher realms of reality.
Everything is subconscious before it is materialized, so neptunians have a great understanding of this at birth. The beauty of this is that once they learn how to stay afloat in a reality that tries to force them to be grounded, they will be able to use their brain to conquer the reality they wish to receive in this lifetime.
With that being said, let me explain how everyone with neptune placements can utilize their gifts in order to receive the reality they want for themselves, as well as knowing how to appreciate the things their subconscious mind is able to do and magnetize to them.
I will say that nothing is impossible, because with the mind all can be possible if you just believe. Neptune rules the higher heart, it allows us to see the beyond of something we believe as impossible to be possible. With the use of our pineal glands (neptune/uranus) we can see more of anything in the horizon even if its not able to be seen first hand, with effort and practice.the world can be ours.
Sun/Neptune - When it comes to your subconscious mind, it has much to do with the way you express yourself into the world. If you want a dancer, a lawyer, a scientist, etc. Before it materializes you must act it out BEFORE it can arrive to you. Think of the law of attraction (which neptune rules over) and think about how you'd be if you were these things already. Your brain doesn't know the difference between you having this thing or not, it responds to the nature of doing something and receive information on how to expand the consciousness on that desire. Being your true self helps you get into alignment with the thing that you want.
Pay attention to how you act when you are around others because this is reflective of your imagination, not theirs. With neptunians it is easy for people to take in people’s projections of them and it can mess with your imagination, however, we still have control on we’re our subconscious reality goes.
Moon/Neptune is reflective on your emotional state. For example, you want to feel joy, right? What happens if you never felt joy ever? You would have to force yourself into that roll. It might sound goofy at first but with practice you will realize that energy doesn’t lie, and our emotions are connecting to energy.. good bad and neutral.
The beauty with this placement is how well these individuals can alchemize their emotions and transform it into something that they want in the material/physical reality. So if I want more joy and I never felt it before but I know it’s a form of happiness, Im going to “pretend” to be joyous and when I keep doing this it’ll begin to reflect into my reality therefore REAL joy can come into fruition. It just takes time n effort. And with said effort of mastering the alchemy of my own emotions, I could then create a reality out of this energy (our emotions are = energy) thus moving me into a vibration of more joy where I can attract what I want into the form of whatever it is I desire. I just have to seek out joy.
With this placement though, a lot of times what you want to create doesn’t have a actual look, mostly a vibe. So sometimes you have to reflect on the feeling of it and not just the look. “Follow the energy” would be my final word to you all.
Neptune/ASC has a lot to do with shapeshifting yourself into the reality that you want. It also has a lot to do with being consciously aware of the choices that you are making, and making moves toward the direction of your desire. I’m going to use miss Marilyn Monroe as an example. Monroe, a neptune/asc in leo had a vision that she would be a star. Before we knew her as Marilyn, she was norma jean with brunette hair and a pretty smile. Once she transformed her look, hair, and character it was at this moment she would be the world famous superstar of our time. She talked about how she used her mind and pretended she was already the star she wanted to be and with time it moved her into the direction she wanted for herself. Another example would be you want a house or a car, but it’s not just any car or house it’s a luxury! Your subconscious doesn’t know the difference so you would have to consciously make yourself act as if you have it because the external reality responds to the vibration of your internal self (conscious and unconscious) first, external after.
Neptune/Mercury the power is in the voice! One of the few placements that can will what they want for themselves with the power of the tongue. The truth of the matter is that you must pretend and then focus on the energy that is being presented when willing it into your reality. These are the type of people who can be prophets in their life and utilize this ability with any talents in writing/singing/rapping/visuals etc. The use of the hands here is a gift as well. Scripting and creating stories of their own life before it happens is something they could be pretty good at if they listen to their intuition. The mind responds to what you believe is real , like for example you say "Im ugly" a hundred times, the universe will attach that feeling to your reality. If you say "im pretty" eventually your mind will believe this as true, so then you end up being in situations that show your true nature. YOU control the mind and what comes out of it. Just be you!
Neptune/Venus the power is in your sensuality and the way you express your love for yourself and all around you. Beautiful placement, how you will what you want within reality is by going with the flow. Dreams can come true but with venusian energy we have to relinquish our control! These two planets together deal with the heart, so what we believe wholeheartedly can come true we just have to embrace it with our minds and the way we feel life with our sensual nature. Beautiful placement, i'll say it again.
The love you have for yourself will reflect back in your manifestations. Deservingness is a theme for people with this placement.
Neptune/Mars - Your drive. Your endurance levels and what you believe is possible is how strongly this placement will be. If youre not confident in whatever it is you want than mars energy here will be a pretty low since its dependant on the subconscious. I see people with this placement having to embark on a lot of psychological transformations as mars/aries rules the head so the mind will always be something worth having to overcome. Building up confidence and working up a sweat is actually a good way to help your manifestations come through quicker! Neptune/mars can rely on getting into the root of something to heal the wounds of the subconscious so that their conscious reality can mirror the internal feelings of what they desire in the process.
Neptune/Pluto - Okay so at this point i want to start of by saying that any planet that isn't a luminary (Uranus/Neptune/Jupiter/Saturn/Pluto) does not have much of a affect in the physical, but mostly internal and spiritual. Neptune and pluto together are a powerhouse baby! Because its dealing with the unconscious and the subconscious and its usually something that lays hidden. With the luminaries, we can consciously see what are reality is like versus our imagination. With this placement its tricky because if pluto wants to stay a secret, thats what itll be. The goal here is to see and feel what your imagination is trying to say to you. You may be dealing with blocked manifestation abilities with this placement so it'll take some sort of 'shadow work' to get the bottom of any issues as to why manifesting something isnt as easy.
Now here is the part on how it can be easier. Since pluto rules the unconscious, you must be aware of your dream state especially since neptune is the ruler of dreams. Sometimes what you want may not come thru you but through others, as pluto is a magnet of getting other people to do what it wants. So with that being said, connecting to your inner self via meditation and thru dreams would help you see the best manifestation method for you. Neptune/Pluto together shows me that their are a lot unlocked gifts that you may have to work to get a chance to use them. Pay attention to how you feel and what you say when manifesting. Start with a sentence on what you desire, pay attention to your imagination, what comes up? does it feel good or bad? if it feels good feel the vibration of it and thats when you'll know how to receive it because its thru a certain emotion (and emotions bring power WHEN used correctly). If it feels bad, why? go deeper on the subject, because it could either be blocking you or protecting you. A lot of times the unconscious like to hide because maybe when you were younger something 'forced' it to lock away certain gifts. Your subconscious/unconscious self holds great awards, and the more you go inside to see the more you will become the magician of your own reality!
Neptune/Saturn - Grounded. Material. Discipline. Staying Focused. 4 things to note with this placement is that saturn will reward you with the effort you take to move into it! The original law of attraction placement. It focuses on bring our dreams into material reality. With you guys, meditating on what you want and then creating a blueprint for it is the best way to see thru an idea and allowing the universe to present it to you the way it sees fit. We may not know all the answers but thats the point, we're not suppose to know everything we're just suppose to do it.
Now with you guys focusing on the task and putting all your energy on that goal is how saturn will push you forward to that thing you want to manifest. I need yall to dream big here because saturn whats you to create something with a long lasting foundation so theirs no playing small here. We start off with some baby steps and we move on to the bigger picture but saturns energy deals with the dark stuff nobody ever talks about. Hardwork pays off but the amount of effort you put into changing your mindset and going in with the challenge is the kicker.
Creating the vision is easy with neptune but putting in the work is sometimes the hardest. How bad do you want it? That's a saturn proverb here. We gotta get use to things not being as 'easy' as we may like, and thats the lesson saturn brings with this placement.
Neptune/Jupiter - This placement counts on your belief system so the higher your beliefs the stronger the outcome of the manifestation. This placement has no room for small, shorthanded beliefs because you'll eventually will have to learn how to expand your horizons. Jupiter rules luck, so a risk will be necessary on receiving what you desire. Do you wish to travel? Then you must believe that you can fly. New look? You must believe that you will look great in whatever you put on? Don't trust yourself to swim ? Gotta change that narrative, just say you're a mermaid without gills ;) jk. This placement can not be still and you will go through many journeys in life whether it's through the mind or across the world. Believe in MORE and you will receive it.
Seriously though, this placement is built on your belief system and it can get stronger immediately once you go towards more optimism in your life.
Neptune/Uranus. Think think think! The power is strictly in your consciousness. With manifesting what you want, it may be more unconventional than you'd think. As a person with this placement (this is a generational placement from like 1993 to 1999) I've noticed that this placement requires you to look beyond what you see in front of you. This generation so far is creating a new era of dreams no one never seen coming. Ive seen people manifest their dreams as being a rapper and even if their not super famous or in hollywood they've built a lifestyle for themselves that we've otherwise never seen possible. I'd say their more on the independant side which I've seen a lot of so far. But the reason I used that as an example is because you have to let go and let the unexpected happen. Our dreams are possible to achieve we just have to know that it may be different and most likely ahead of its time!
I hope you all loved my observation list on neptune and the other placements! Stay tuned for more to come. Maybe you can manifest what i do next ;) hehe, bye!
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caligvlasaqvarivm · 22 days
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Love is Stored in the Cat: A Nepeta Leijon Character Study
I guess these are a series now! I also have a request for Feferi in my inbox that I'll get around to eventually.
SO! Dear, sweet Nepeta.
Nepeta is the troll that is most against the existence of the hemocaste.
I believe the Ultimate Self speech was originally going to be from her, not Davepetasprite^2.
She's bad at shipping.
These all make her extremely impurrtant!!!
So furst of all, I'm going to start with the same disclaimer as my Eridan essay (go read that first!!! It sets up a lot of ideas that I'm expanding on here), which is that the things Hussie says are going to be lowered in value, because he likes to play coy about plot stuff. I'm also not counting anything but the actual text as canon, and even with in that text, I'm counting everything after GAME OVER as soft canon - a suggestion of what would have been, often truncated for time, often a deliberate middle finger to the shitty fandom.
Okay, so with that squared away!
Nepeta Says Fuck The Hemocaste
I'm not going to bother doing a deep dive on Nepeta's characterization, because fur the most part, I think the fandom more or less gets her right - she wears her heart (h33h33) on her sl33ve, after all! She's a very sweet little catgirl who loves roleplay and shipping, who is also a vicious hunter of wild beasts and lives in a cave. She's very nice and friendly, but has a tough streak and a spine.
She also says fuck the hemocaste, why does that even exist:
CT: D --> Your fraternization with the base classes have 100sened your morals, can't you see this AC: :33 < no! i dont care, they are fun AC: :33 < and i dont know anything about classes or bases or blood color, it doesn't matter! AC: :33 < what does gr33n blood even mean! it doesnt mean anything to me and it shouldnt mean anything to anyone else!
This is a radical stance not outright shared by any of the other trolls. Aradia calls highbloods "hateful sn0bs" that she and Tavros shouldn't have "ever had anything t0 d0 with", the highbloods are, of course, all casteist to varying degrees, and even Karkat seems fairly accepting of the class divide, at one point taunting Vriska that her rejection from the blue team is "ANOTHER INFURIATING VICTORY FOR GUTTER BLOOD OVER ARISTOCRACY". Not to mention his long-held dream of becoming a threshecutioner.
Even Feferi, despite saying to Eridan that "W-E AR-E NOT B-ETT-ER T)(AN ANYBODY!!!!!", is actually perfectly comfortable with the caste system's existence, comparing having to stop using her royal typing quirk to "peasant-IFICATING" herself - and let's not forget that a Beforus under her rule had its caste system 100% intact.
This means that Nepeta is the ONLY troll who has said, in no uncertain terms, that the caste system should not exist. It's stupid, it's bad, and it doesn't meowtter!
AND SHE'S RIGHT.
But she's never able to fully express this opinion, which brings us to:
A COMPLICKATED RELATIONSHIP WITH EQUIUS
Now, before I say anything, I must insist that I do believe these two work as good moirails. That does not, however, stop them from being 13, and therefore, being poor to each other the way 13-year-olds sometimes are. I don't think they should break up; I think they should re-examine certain dynamics, and I think they need some space to breathe apart from each other.
Equius has a lot of problems, which I won't get into overmuch here, because... that's a whole essay on its own (are you people seeing a trend yet). But with regards to Nepeta specifically, he's extremely controlling and protective, to the point where she's a little scared of him before the game begins:
AC: :33 < well it does sound like it will be a lot of fun but i think i should get purrmission first GC: BL4R!!!!! GC: TH4TS SO STUP1D GC: H3S NOT TH3 BOSS OF YOU AC: :33 < i know! AC: :33 < but still im kind of scared of him and i think purrhaps its best to just run it by him first so there isnt a kerfuffle about it or anything
She's also afraid to tell him about her crush on Karkat, since she knows he doesn't like Karkat:
AC: :33 < well AC: :33 < i have never told anybody this not even my moirail AC: :33 < heh, actually hes the LAST guy i might tell, he so wouldnt appurrve X33 AC: :33 < but yes i have liked somebody for quite some time, but alas he doesnt know it
By the time they end their game, she's gotten over this fear, seeing as she spends many hours curled up with Equius in a pile of robotics parts, but it still must be noted that they have some issues in their relationship that were never resolved, primarily on Equius's end. What this means for Nepeta, however, is that in addition to setting her up as the most outright anti-classism troll, the comic sets her up to be socially isolated due to her moirail's paranoia about letting her associate with both lowbloods (seeing them as bad influences) OR other highbloods, seeing them as dangerous.
He's not entirely wrong - his refusal to allow her to participate in FLARP kept her from winding up entangled in the horrible chain of revenge, as Tavros alludes:
AT: iT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST, AT: tHAT YOU LISTEN TO HIM, AC: :33 < i dont know AC: :33 < you think so? AT: wELL, AT: iF YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO HIM BEFORE, AT: yOU MIGHT HAVE PLAYED GAMES WITH US BEFORE, AT: aND SOMETHING BAD MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU, AC: :33 < hmm purrhaps
But he's still wrong. And it's probably an uncontrolled manifestation of his Heir of Void abilities - he's both consciously and unconsciously hiding her from other people.
This isn't to say she doesn't stand up for herself! Many of her discussions with Equius are pseudo-arguments, and she does get her way often enough, managing to get him to roleplay with her, and managing to get him back in the roboti% pile to talk about his feelings about Aradia. She also talks to the humans explicitly against Equius's orders, although she's keeping it a sneakret from him:
NEPETA: :33 < but equius already furbid me from doing that :(( NEPETA: :33 < not that i am listening to him, but shhhhh! :33 KARKAT: WAIT, HE DID? KARKAT: OK, THEN AS YOUR LEADER I ORDER YOU TO RP WITH THEM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. BE AS OBNOXIOUS ABOUT IT AS YOU CAN. NEPETA: :33 < yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
But the fact that she has to tiptoe around him like this speaks to them having issues in their relationship that go unexamined and unresolved, especially since it's clear that Nepeta really would like to be friends with more people, were Equius not getting in her way. So, even though I do think they are good moirails for each other - they clearly genuinely, deeply care about one another. But they could use some relationship counselling.
In fact, Jasprosesprite^2 outright calls her lonely:
JASPROSESPRITE^2: Or the girl who likes ships! Cause they made her less lonely. ;3
So, she's anti-hemocaste and lonely, two character traits that were set up and never resolved. And beclaws this is Nepeta, in her honor, I'm going to talk about a third:
Her Unrequited Crush On Karcat
She has the BIGGEST flushed crush on Karkat. It's seen on her shipping wall twice, once with the word OTP on it.
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And, despite never discussing it with her moirail, Nepeta mentions it once to Jaspersprite, and once to Jasprosesprite^2.
Now, I'm not really here to debate on the validity of KatNep - I think it's fine, even if I don't personally ship it, and don't personally think it would work out (there are lots of indications that they wouldn't work out, including Jasprosesprite^2 outright saying so). However, her crush on Karkat is both complicated and creates some interesting setups for her character. I am going to discuss it fairly critically either way, so KatNep shippers have been warned.
A lot of her feelings about Karkat - and about shipping in general - wind up being heavily interlinked with her status as a Hero of Heart, so I'm going to expand on it more there. But what I will note in this section is the fact that, despite Nepeta insisting twice that she doesn't think Karkat knows about her crush on her:
NEPETASPRITE: :33 < it was karkat NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but i never told him and im pretty sure he never found out how i felt!
He tooootally did:
KARKAT: OK, BUT TO BE FAIR, I'M PRETTY SURE SHE'S STILL OBSESSED WITH ME. KARKAT: IT'S A VERY UNFORTUNATE, VERY RED AND VERY UNREQUITED SITUATION I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TIPTOE AROUND FOR A LONG TIME, OK?
Interpret that how you will for shipping purposes, but I want to propose that this is a reflection of their statuses as Heart and Blood players. Heart, despite its players' obsessions with romance, is not the romance aspect, Blood is. Karkat displays this very same romantic acumen when he tells Dave that he's known Terezi and Gamzee were a thing for a long time, despite everyone else on the meteor trying to keep it a secret from him. Heart is, instead, about identity, feelings, motivations, souls, and self. In other words:
Nepeta Is Kind Of Bad At Shipping
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Let's take a look at those shipping walls.
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Let's break this down a little. Nepeta's ships are not entirely wrong, but even the successful ones are kind of wrong. Here's what I mean. We've already discussed how Equius and Nepeta's moirallegiance has some... issues in it. If we go down her list of ships that actually do happen, most of them have some issues in them!
Aradia expresses her regret for getting together with Equius in the Ministrife. Kanaya and Rose suffer some major relationship problems when Rose starts drinking, to the point Karkat feels a need to step in as an auspice. Karkat and Gamzee fail, as Karkat is not calmed by Gamzee, and Gamzee stops listening to Karkat. And while Sollux and Feferi seem to be fairly healthy, after they both wind up in the Furthest Ring, he's pretty much always next to Aradia - he and Feferi don't even get to exchange words with each other once they're in the Furthest Ring. Purrsonally, I think he and Feferi are meant to end up as moirails, but shhhh.
So what's happening here? Well, this goes back to her identity as a Heart player. Heart is concerned with feelings and motivations.
They simply want to understand the one thing we all are stuck with for our entire lives, i.e. our own minds. Forging an identity is extremely important to the Heart-bound, and every decision and action goes toward building a coherent narrative of their own story. That isn't to say Heart-bound don't care deeply for their friends and allies; they just have a tendency to assume that everyone is as concerned with identity as they are.
Nepeta's shipping has also been associated with her isolation and loneliness. When you put this together, it implies that Nepeta's shipping is about her desire to understand others, and much of her ships are based on one of the parties having feelings, regardless of compatibility, feasibility, or broader implications. After all, despite the fact that she has pretty terrible romantic acumen, she IS able to instinctively identify that Eridan's advances toward her were insincere:
NEPETASPRITE: :33 < well ok i guess eridan hit on me a few times NEPETASPRITE: :33 < but his advances always struck me as cr33py and insincere
And that Karkat secretly LOVES and RESPECTS his friends:
JASPROSESPRITE^2: On the contrary Nepeta. You deserve someone who will RESPECT and ADORE you. NEPETASPRITE: :33 < well... yes NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i always hoped to find someone like that some day NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i dunno maybe youre right but in spite of whatever problems he might have i always felt like i saw something in him that made me think he could be that purrson!
Or knowing that Equius loves to play games, and still feels sad about Aradia exploding:
AC: :33 < i s33 right through your stupid act, who are you trying to kid! AC: :33 < look how you go out of your way to use words that have x's in them so that you can use your silly purrcent signs AC: :33 < or use these absurd words that you can shoehorn a '100' into, even if its not strictly replacing 'loo'!!! AC: :33 < you are so transpurrent AC: :33 < i can tell you like to play games, d33p down you are a guy who likes to play games! AC: :33 < i can smell a guy who likes to play games from so fur away with this nose, you have no idea X33
NEPETA: :33 < she was so happy, just like she used to be, and she said she would s33 you soon! EQUIUS: D --> That's a nice thought, and thank you for sharing it EQUIUS: D --> But it was only a dream, and will surely have no consequence in reality NEPETA: :33 < equius? NEPETA: :33 < are those f33lings i an detecting with my wiggly whiskery nose? EQUIUS: D --> Maybe
Because feelings, and not relationships, are her actual domain.
And speaking of Heart powers...
Nepeta and the Ultimate Self
So from this point forward, I'm going to assume you're more or less agreeing with my take that at some point after Game Over, Hussie - for whatever reason - gave up on his original ending, and wound up truncating his ideas so he could finish the comic faster. I go more into detail about that here.
So, in this hypothetical original ending, I firmly believe that the speech about the Ultimate Self would have come from Nepeta. First, let's take a look at what the "Ultimate Self" entails, as it appears within the comic:
DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < everything that ever happens to every version of you is an important part of your ultimate self... like a superceding bodyless and timeless persona that crosses the boundaries of paradox space and unlike god tiers or bubble ghosts or whatever, it really IS immortal DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but in your physical form there are all these partitions in your mind that prevent you from remembering any of that which makes your existence f33l totally linear DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < which is probably for the best! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < in a regular body s33ing all that would be too overwhelming ... DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < and after it sinks in for a while you start coming to this understanding of a greater self DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < maybe i "got it" quicker though because of the two people i was and their aspects DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < understanding heart is all about the nuances of a distributed self DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < nepeta never got to make much headway with her aspect but shes finally gettin the chance DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < the time aspect is all about running into different versions of yourself so you kinda get confronted with it in a really literal way that can be disturbing DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < obviously davesprite stuggled with that too, but now its fine DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < hes fr33 from worrying about it all and what it means for his place in reality DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < because he can s33 now all his selves have relevance in painting the full picture of who he truly is DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < im not COMPLETELY sure because im not like some sort of ASPECT MASTER but DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < my avian slash feline intuition tells me that all roads will lead you here eventually DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < gaining the d33pest possible understanding of any aspect will bring you to the same final conclusion about your ultimate self
Now, I believe - and I hope you'll agree - that it's kind of lame, narratively, for Davesprite to have been set up with so much angst about not being the "real Dave," and for Nepeta to have all her issues with loneliness and shyness, and for these two specific iterations of each other to have never interacted, but suddenly getting double-prototyped fixes all of their problems, and they achieve Ultimate Selfhood despite being two total strangers to each other. So let's instead break down the more salient points about what Ultimate Selfhood entails, divorced from the fact that it's Davepetasprite^2 doing the narrating:
Every player in the game possesses an "Ultimate Self," an ultimate culmination of all their experiences and memories, specifically referred to as a "persona"
Normally, people are not aware of this, because it would be too overwhelming to deal with so many memories and iterations of each other.
Everyone will achieve Ultimate Selfhood eventually as the final culmination of their understanding of their aspect.
Heart is all about the nuances of a distributed self.
Let's talk about that last one some more, and by that I mean, let's see what Calliope has to say about it:
TT: I don't know why it had to be this way for me. Juggling these two waking selves at once. TT: I guess I'm used to it, but it still makes for a pretty intense existence. TT: Do you even know what the deal with that is? Like is there any precedent in your readings? UU: i don't know aboUt precedent, bUt it makes plenty of sense to me as the type of path one might expect for a hero of heart. UU: a path rUled by the heart aspect can be a joUrney of splintered self. UU: that is, the player's being may exhibit the same kind of fragmentation which certain classes coUld caUse in others. UU: i think this is what has triggered yoUr dUal-awareness between waking and dream selves, thoUgh it woUld not sUrprise me if the symptoms manifested in even more ways than this.
Now, Dirk has a clawmplicated relationship with his alternate selves, given that he's a Prince, but Nepeta wouldn't have the same struggles, or at least, not to the same degree. The problem is, hampered by Equius and her own shyness about discussing her thoughts and feelings with others:
NEPETASPRITE: :33 < i get so shy and worried what people might think of me if i say how i f33l NEPETASPRITE: :33 < im always so scared that they wont f33l the same way or just think im stupid or pathetic or something
She never actually gets to explore this part of herself.
But What If... She Did?
The way I imagine the original ending going is that each troll that gets saved by John's interference in the timeline then asks John to help them fix their own mistakes, thereby saving somebody else. Each successive trip through the meteor brings new character development, and also riddles the comic with progressively more password pages, which I think would be really funny. And throughout all this the Game Over team is searching for Vriska, Meenah, and the treasure, and resolving their arcs that way, so it's not like they would be replaced - they're the ones who get to kill LE. The process, in my mind, goes like this:
Terezi asks John to save Vriska, and prevent her from getting too spades with Gamzee, as these are her two greatest regrets.
Vriska obviously had great regrets about killing Tavros, both pre- and post-retcon, so she asks for his death to be prevented.
Tavros staying alive means that he and Gamzee wind up hashing out some stuff - Gamzee mentions that he feels "So aT ChIlL WiTh yOu" while talking to Tavros, and Tavros reciprocates the friendship and also - interestingly - acknowledges Gamzee's religion, calling it beautiful even if he doesn't necessarily believe in it. This is interesting because Karkat's inability to do so is explicitly one of the reasons their moirallegiance broke down. So having Tavros back, alive, means that he and Gamzee would likely end up in some sort of relationship, probably pale despite flushed leanings, and would bring Gamzee back into the fold.
Gamzee would then be like, yeah, wow, that time I killed Nepeta and Equius was pretty bad, huh? Especially since his decision to hang onto his friends' bodies and prototype them is often interpreted as him genuinely feeling bad about his dead friends (he tells Kurloz to shut up when Kurloz mentions all the dead friends, and his religion seems to be about a paradise he wants to share with his friends anyway). So he'd ask John to prevent him from killing them, resulting in the two of them getting to live.
Things get much more hypothetical from here, since so much of the character dynamics would have changed, but I think by this point, Equius might command ask John to let him say goodbye to Aradiabot before she explodes, which he expresses feeling very sad about. However, in doing so, John and Aradiabot end up in the same room, and when she realizes that he has the ability to change the timeline without repercussions, she'd seize him by the arm and demand that he take her back in time, to before she died. After all, she expresses regrets about her reckless actions, and how she always felt like it was all one big setup.
She would take Aradia's place in the Vriska revenge chain, being once more freed of her robot chassis, and from there, would trick Doc Scratch and the Handmaiden into thinking everything was still going according to their designs. Meanwhile, Alive!Aradia would be hanging out at Equius's place, borrowing his void powers to avoid notice, coordinating a new timeline that keeps the beats of the original (too much deviation causes unpredictability, and an paradox'd timeline offshoot without John's direct interference would still become doomed), but allows them greater freedom and the ability to overcome the machinations of Doc Scratch and associates.
This would also prevent Sollux from becoming so self-loathing, since it's no longer "his fault" that Aradia dies, although he winds up in that hole again after Feferi gets killed. Now that his Aradia is alive, he wouldn't feel like he might as well stay in the bubbles because his closest companions are there, so he'd make it to the end, and would ask John to prevent Feferi's death.
Eridan still dies; he's so disconnected and isolated from all his friends that his course of actions is largely unaffected even by everybody else's timeline tweaks. But before Feferi can suggest bringing him back, Karkat would butt in.
The Friendship Troll should be the one to demand that ALL of their friends be revived, especially if they had everyone except only one guy, and Karkat and Eridan are heavily implied to be moirails anyway. The course of Karkat's fixes are so comprehensive, and primarily romance-based, that the end result of this final loop is everybody not only being alive, but god-tiered, with appropriate character development.
Now, where Nepeta's Heart powers would play into all of this is that she would start to notice something going on. After all, Heart players are sensitive to their splintered selves, and (Nepeta) is probably much closer to Nepeta than regular doomed timeline offshoots. As the loops continue, and Nepeta has more and more time to talk to people, and meets her dead alternate selves, and even meets (Nepeta), she starts to awaken to her Ultimate Self - to come into possession of alternate memories.
And if the Ultimate Self is a very soul-y kind of concept, such that Heart players have a natural advantage in coming to understand it, then isn't it a natural fit that a Rogue of Heart - one who steals from Heart or steals Heart for others - would be naturally inclined to share the wisdom of her alternate selves, and even the very concept of the Ultimate Self, with her friends?
Because the Ultimate Self is actually, in my opinion, a pretty good narrative device. It turns the sadness of the dead and doomed timelines into something littersweet instead, and makes it so any weirdness regarding time travel and not really knowing your friends anymore will eventually be resolved, even if off-screen.
It's not really narratively satisfying when Davepetasprite^2 suddenly comes into being and reaches enlightenment, but imagine if instead it's a post-character development Nepeta comforting Davesprite on his relevance, or Jade on her loneliness, or John on not really knowing these new post-retcon versions of his friends? It would feel a lot better, since in this hypothetical, she would have reached that point after on-screen character development. Being able to share her true self with her friends on the meteor - by necessity, since what else are they going to be doing for three years - leads to her finally being able to fulfill her role as a Rogue of Heart.
Also, at some point during these repeated meteor trips, she dates Karkat (whether that's successful or not, I'll leave to reader interpretation - you already know where I stand), fulfilling Jaspersprite's musing that she might only be able to date Karkat after she dies.
So that's two out of thr33 of her outstanding plot hooks resolved... okay. So, I try not to make these essays into ship propaganda, but hear me out:
Hate Is Stored In The FefNep
Okay, so, remember that thing about how Feferi is actually a huge casteist hypocrite? Well, let's also note that the comic, post-Murderstuck, seems to put Nepeta and Feferi together a lot - they're a Commodore and Rear Admiral in the ghost pirate army, respectively, and they also wind up as Fefetasprite. So I think it's not entirely out of left field to say that these two were implied to have SOMETHING going on.
And that something... is a difference in political views.
I mean, let's be real, there's a reason Fefetasprite is the most explode-prone after Tavrisprite. Miss "The Hemocaste is Stupid and Shouldn't Matter" vs. Miss "I Love Being A Princess And Call Jade Hornless and Finless (Derogatory)"? Come on, tell me you don't see it.
Without getting too much into Feferi, this hypocrisy, and unwillingness to check her privilege (so glad I found an excuse to use that term unironically), are probably her greatest character flaws - ie, the things you would expect the story to address about her. Meanwhile, one of Nepeta's flaws, which she laments to Jasproseprite^2, is that she feels too shy to talk about her feelings to other people, leading to her having never expressed her views on the hemocaste to anyone but Equius.
I think that they initially think they'd be friends. Each one of them would go "oh man, this other girl is soooo cute, I wish I could talk to her more often!"
And then, once they do, they realize they fucking hate each other. Nepeta would go "X00 < you are such a hypocrite who f33ls like youre better than all of us!!!" and Feferi would go "You're suc)( an uneducated glubbing P-EASANT! 3X0" and then they'd claw each others' eyes out. It would be so funny, and if a homestuck ship isn't extremely fucking funny, then why are we even here.
But more importantly, this would further them along into resolving each others' arcs - Feferi would be forced to grapple with the greater implications of classism, and Nepeta - who is shown having a spine the most in defiance of somebody else - would grow more aggressive about being open about her feelings in defiance of Feferi. Even Equius would get roped into it in a positive way - you can just imagine him going "D --> Can I really believe my auricular sponge clots D --> Nepeta, you are finally taking interest in politi%" and be 100% on board with teaching her so Feferi won't be able to call her uneducated.
And then for flushed, I dunno! Karkat's an option, and Jade and Jake also both love the fuck out of furries, and Tavros seems nice. But yeah I'll die on the fefnep hate ship. Guys it would be so funny.
Thank you as always for reading! Let me know if there's a troll you want to hear me ramble about next.
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jals-stuff · 15 days
Text
short washing machine headcanons...
How would the Mashle characters react if they found their s/o stuck in the washing machine? + personal ratings (I know, no one asked)
For Mash, Dot, Finn, Lemon, Lance, Rayne, Abel, Abyss, Wirth, Margarette, Carpaccio, Orter, Renatus, Ryoh, Kaldo.
Warnings: SLIGHT spoiler for Margarette? Other than that, none. ratings are purely subjective, please don't bury me alive.
Note: none of this is canon so some charas might be ooc, don’t take it too seriously! Might write for Domina, Meliadoul, Famin and Delisaster one day, idk
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MASH...
He’s probably busy eating or making cream puffs when he hears you call for help. It isn’t common for you to do such a thing so he freaks out a little bit at first, but upon finding out the mess you’ve made while trying to empty the washing machine, he just stands there, completely dumbfounded. 
He’s a little dense, so it takes him a minute or two to figure out that you’re actually stuck. He’s never been in this situation before, therefore he’s sweating a little and panicking internally. “T-t-t-t-this is bad. I-I-I have to help them out.” 
Pulling on your legs would be a terrible idea, considering his strength, and he’s just completely clueless on how to get you out. 
Would 100% rip open the washing machine and leave you completely astonished as he does so, then pat your shoulder in a comforting way with a thumbs up. 
Overall very cute, even tried to comfort you after such a “traumatising” ordeal. 8/10.
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DOT...
He thinks he’s the main character, we all know it. He’s probably checking himself out in the mirror and saying cool protagonist lines when he hears you call out for help, and suddenly, his main quest has changed!
He walks in on you, stuck head first in the washing machine, and much like Mash, he just looks at you for a bit before taking in the situation. Of course, he’s going to help you, but he needs to gloat about it first, you know it.
“Damn, how could you ever get out of here without my help, huh?” He’d just take on dramatic poses that he assumes are cool (they are not), and try to pull you out by himself. “Can’t be helped, huuuh?”
Despite all his efforts, he doesn’t manage to get you out and he just starts mumbling things about the washing machine being a worthy opponent before actually grabbing his phone and calling someone for help.
Dot is just being Dot, after all, but he’s full of good intentions. 5/10, at least you had a good laugh..? 
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FINN...
Finn immediately interrupts his studying when he hears you call out for him, and he’s running like his own life depends on it! “What’s wrong, (Y/N)?!”
Upon seeing you stuck in there head first, he gets into panic mode! It isn’t completely horrible either and it’s just purely annoying to be stuck, but Finn sees it differently. If you called for help, then SURELY you must be terrified or in pain!
He’s going to pace around the room for a minute, wondering “How do I get them out? How do I get them out? How do I get them out?” before deciding that he’s going to take it step by step!
Gently guides you out of the washing machine without too much trouble and doesn’t judge you even once for it! He gives you a big hug afterwards because he’s convinced you were very scared (you weren’t, but he was)!
I physically cannot give Finn anything under 9/10. He is bebe.
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LEMON...
She’s probably making a cute keychain for you when you call out for her. She will make you her utmost priority and cheerily trot up to you. “Yeeees~ what is it?”
You’re… stuck. She blushes dramatically and screams out something like “Kyaaah! Just like in those movies! You perv!” But then carefully inspect the position you’re in and how the hell you got stuck in there.
She’s going to try pretty much everything in her power, from pulling you out to switching your position and figuring out a way to painlessly get you out of there…
And eventually get you out! However, be warned: she will give you the side eye with a blush every time she sees you for at least a month and giggle. Who knows what’s going through her head?
Helpful, cute, and funny. 8/10 would recommend.
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LANCE...
He’s reading a book when you call for him. He will automatically assume something bad happened (well, technically yes, but.. yeah) and quickly run to the laundry room. “(Y/N), what happened?!”
Looks down on you without you knowing. The display is pretty ridiculous and laughable, but he won’t make a sound. He’s just going to pat your back. “I’ll get you out of here.”
He’s a very smart guy, so he just has to look at the way you’re stuck for a few seconds before figuring out the most efficient way to help you, and it takes him very little time.
Will sigh and shake his head in disapproval, but internally scream when you pout at him for sighing because he thinks you’re adorable. He’s going to look away and clear his throat so you can’t see his blush.
Efficient and definitely nice, he won’t even tease you about it. He did look down on you though, 7/10.
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RAYNE...
Where is he anyway? He’s taking his sweet time when you call for him, and when he does finally arrive, you’re met with his usual neutral voice. “Yes, I heard you calling the first time.”
You can’t tell, but when he walks in on you stuck like this, he gives you the look… but again, it’s probably his neutral face. How’d you get stuck in there anyway? You really can’t do anything by yourself, can you?
Much like Lance, he’s extremely smart, so he’s going to pull you out of there very quickly, and he sighs while doing so. How can you be so clumsy? It’s almost as if you did it on purpose.
He’s about to lecture you but notices that you’re very embarrassed and can’t even look him in the eyes, so his expression softens just a little and he decides not to say anything mean and just gives you a comforting pat on the head. “Don’t get stuck again, alright?”
Very thoughtful despite the cold look he gives you, efficient and nice. 8/10.
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ABEL...
Abel rarely stays away from you for very long, so he was probably there when it happened and he saw you getting stuck. He also noticed how you couldn’t get out by yourself. “It appears you need some help.”
You’re now aware that he saw you and it’s just fully embarrassing, but he’s part of the clever ones, so you’re pretty sure he will help you out quickly. Or will he? He’s always been a little odd, even around you anyway.
It’s really curious to him, how you managed to get stuck that fast yet you just can’t get out by yourself. Will definitely ask if you did it on purpose while keeping a straight face and blank tone.
Gets you out in a longer time than he should’ve because he was busy trying to understand how you got in there in the first place. He won’t judge you for it, but he will absolutely bring it up around other people like it’s no big deal.
It’s nice that he was already there, did help, but embarrasses you in front of your friends. 6/10
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ABYSS...
No matter what he’s doing when you call out for him or where he is, he will Acceleraise his way to you immediately! You are his top 1 priority!
He will however take a second to appreciate the display and chuckle a little bit to himself like “Hah… cute.” before actively looking for a solution because he can literally feel your embarrassment.
“How did you manage to do this?” He mumbles, and makes sure that you aren’t hurt or in any pain first of all. He will 100% reassure you through the whole process!
Abyss is smart and will get you out quickly and without making fun of you. Unlike Abel, he won’t mention it around anyone else, and makes a self note: needs to buy a bigger washing machine so you don’t get stuck again.
Sweet and efficient, very nice and comforting. 10/10, would get stuck again.
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WIRTH...
He’s training and trying to improve his capacities when you call out for him. He’s used to you getting into such and such situations, so he just takes his time now. “What is it this time, (Y/N)?”
A bit dumbfounded when he sees the way you’ve managed to get stuck, will crackle up in laughter because as used as he is to see stuff like that with you, it always manages to surprise him.
He’s going to keep giggling as he helps you through, and you just wish you could wipe that smirk off his face but you can’t really do anything and just wait for him to help.
He even hesitates and feels like he should leave you like that, but he doesn’t want you to be upset at him, so he will get you out pretty easily and tease you about it later on. “Aww, c’mon, don’t sulk now~!”
Kind of a jerk, but in a lovable way. You need to find something to tease him back with, 7/10 though.
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MARGARETTE...
They’re probably rehearsing or composing another one of these musical masterpieces to play on the piano when their beloved calls out for help. 
They’ll gently chuckle and crouch down next to you. “Oh my! How’d you get in such a situation, dear?” Their arms are a little too bulky to reach out for you from the outside, so they’ll shift into their true form and easily reach for your shoulders so they can pull you out!
Margarette is one of the smart characters and will get you out of the washing machine in no time, very gently and gracefully, making sure you don’t get hurt or anything in the process.
Will give you a hug and gentle pats on the head to comfort you. “There, there~.” They won’t tease you about it nor make fun, but will definitely chuckle a little upon remembering it.
A mother figure, very nice and gentle. Cannot wait to hear the masterpiece they were busy composing, 10/10.
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CARPACCIO...
He’s experimenting on lab rats and seems very engrossed with his occupation, so it will take him a little bit of time to hear you calling out for him.
Freezes when he sees you stuck head first inside the washing machine and stares blankly without a word for way longer than necessary. He’s got a little smirk and his lower eyelids rise up in amusement.
“Heh.” is all you can hear before he makes his way towards you and inspects you while he considers leaving you like this for a bit longer because it sure as hell is funny for him. But he knows you’ll be upset and he doesn’t want you to give him the silent treatment.
If he doesn’t find a quick way to get you out, he will stab his way through the washing machine (and give you a good scare as he does that) to free you! Terrifyingly sweet, he’s just staring with a very slight smirk and you know he will tease you about it.
Mean but at least he helped you out. You got scared for your life even though you know he wouldn’t hurt you. 7/10
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ORTER...
He’s reading a book and he’s sure as hell he heard you call for him. He will carefully put down his book and look for the source of the muffled cry he just heard.
Despite being quite the jerk around others, Orter is a mature man, and he isn’t going to make any snarky remarks or make fun of you. He will sigh upon seeing you squirm, crouching next to you to check the mess you’ve been making.
“Calm down. If you’ve managed to find a way in, there’s obviously a way out.” Very rational throughout the whole process and effectively gets you out of the washing machine, inspecting you afterwards to make sure you aren’t hurt.
Much like Abyss, he will make a mental note to buy a larger washing machine, and kindly help you back up without teasing you or ever bringing it up around anyone else. If you apologise, he’ll tell you it’s nonsense.
Very logical and calm, efficient and polite. 10/10.
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RENATUS...
Sure as hell taking a nice nap when he hears that scream of his name that could wake up the dead. He groans and stands up to lazily make his way to the laundry room.
He whistles when he sees you stuck there and gives a snarky chuckle. “Woah, just for me?” and you can physically feel your face heat up. He’s going to get closer to check the way you’re stuck and…
Whack! He’ll give your butt a playful slap before helping you out and laughing out loud at the ridiculous situation. After all, it’s not everyday that he gets to see his s/o in such an embarrassing state!
He will however stop teasing you if he sees you get uncomfortable and wrap his arms around your waist to comfort you with a softer chuckle. He might tease you later if he ever remembers this happened.
Again, jerk but in a lovable way. You need to give him that spank back tho, 7/10.
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RYOH...
Like Abyss, you are his utmost priority and he will immediately drop anything he’s doing (probably admiring his reflection in a mirror) when he hears you call out for him! 
He’ll chuckle when he sees you stuck in there, and you can tell his mind is running! But there is no time for this. If Ryoh's s/o is stuck in the washing machine, he must overcome this trial!
Will get you out in a manly way (whatever that means!) and you’ll even wonder how he did it so easily, that’s how flawless his whole performance is.
He might tease you if you’re comfortable with it, winking at you way too many times and making it pretty obvious what kind of ideas he has. If you aren’t, it’s also fine, he’s just going to cuddle you into forgetting it.
Ryoh is just a W man. There’s nothing else to say, 10/10.
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KALDO...
It’s good that you called him, he was about to ruin yet another perfectly fine dish by pouring an ungodly amount of honey on top of it. He will pout in disappointment but come check what’s up.
“(Y/N), dear, are you having fun in there~?” He teases with a chuckle. “Can I join?” But upon hearing your frustrated groan, he will go into thinking mode and consider his options.
His first thought is to use honey to make it easier to pull you out, but he quickly dismisses it. He will, instead, pull on your clothes to avoid hurting your skin when you get out. 
Will get you out, but your clothes are ruined, so he’ll give you his coat so you can cover up and not be too embarrassed. He might bring it up later and pretend he forgot how embarrassing it was for you, but really, he just wants to tease you.
Playful and cute, but he did ruin that shirt you liked a lot. 7/10.
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after-witch · 1 year
Text
Behind the Curtain [Ren Hana x Reader]
Title: Behind the Curtain [Ren Hana x Reader]
Synopsis: No more shows, yes, that’s what he says. He does not tell you “no more pain,” because there will be pain. Some musings from Ren Hana after the The Show Must Go On DLC (survival ending).
Word Count: 1600ish
notes: kidnapped reader, medical including eye prosthetics discussion, descriptions of past violent abuse and injuries including eye injuries
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You poor, pretty thing, lying there in a hospital bed, tubes in your arms and an incessantly beeping machine monitoring your vitals at your side.
You look a mess.
You look lovely.
The wounds from your lively (and, he must admit, very well received--well, until the end) triple show debut are vibrant and gorgeously ugly.
Vivid stitches covered in ghastly looking iodine on your stomach, where you’d sliced your belly right open; antibiotic creams slathered over your puncture wounds; an etching of various cuts and bite marks… yours and his. Not to mention your eye.
You’ll live, you dear thing. Scarred and bruised, inside and out--but you’ll live.
He’s not an amateur. You’ll have good medical care here. He can afford it, although it’s not often used for more than employee check-ups and keeping merchandise alive long enough to be sold or entertain his streams before the big finale. Or for the occasional creative request via a high-paying donor on a stream.
But for you? He’ll make sure to use every resource to get you back into shape. Back to where you were--or more accurately, he supposes, back to where you’re going to be from now on. 
You wake up every now and then. Not to the fullest degree. You are pumped full of drugs, though, and he’s not terribly surprised at your lack of coherency. It’s cute, in a way, though he’s looking forward to enjoying you when you’re more alert. More alive. 
How alive did you feel, in those last moments before he stopped the stream? How aware were you that he meant to kill you? That you were going to die in that dark room while people paid to watch and stroked their cocks and salivated over watching the last bit of light leave your eyes? 
He couldn’t do it. No, no, that’s not right. He could have done it. He’s done it before, to others more and less worthy than yourself.
But he didn’t want to do it and therefore, he didn’t have to do it. You reminded him of that. Chat had power, sure, everyone with enough money had power. But he was in control. It was his stream. His life’s work. And you were his property, not theirs. 
Did you know that one question would change everything?
Fuck the people watching the stream. They could have someone else, and they would eventually--logistically, he needed to make it up to them soon, a token apology made in some other poor pretty thing’s blood.
But not you.
Never you. 
He smiles, just a little. It’s easier now to think about the future, in the sterile clinic room, away from the rush of the showroom with its screens, the stampede of feet when he pushed the call button, the tangy smell of your blood and the sight of you mangled and delirious beneath him. 
The rush of the moment has passed, leaving behind a slow, thoughtful ebb in its wake. 
You’re not the first merchandise he’s kept for himself. You’re not even the first person he’s taken a liking to and taken home with the intent to keep forever. And oh, that first one… he hasn’t thought about them in a while, the one that he kept for as long as he could, until they were gone.
You remind him of them, in some ways. Maybe in the way your voice softened when you asked him who gave him his scars; maybe in the pitiful way you begged him, sweet and sniffling, to cut out your eye because you knew it was best.
Maybe in the way you clenched around him, desperate, eager, hating the pain but embracing it because there was nothing else you could do. 
But, ah… he’s being nostalgic again. He lets one claw idly trace your forearm, following the line of the IV. That person is gone. Dead. Tragic and all that, and some part of him will always miss them. But there’s no point in dwelling on it, just as he’s long since moved on from Strade and his amateur basement of horrors. 
Years ago, he might have thought: what would Strade think of me now? But now he knows the truth: it doesn’t matter one single bit what Strade would think of him now, or what Strade might have thought of him then. Strade was nothing. 
He had created his own world, far surpassing anything Strade could have dreamed of; Strade had some talent (he has scars to prove it) but what was talent without ambition? Without creativity, allure?
Anyone could get people to pay money to watch you kill some helpless fuck you snatched off the street.
But it took talent to do what he did, something far beyond basement videos with basic tools and a fabric mask. 
It was a talent he had in spades, carefully crafted through trial and error. Lots of errors. But what business, what world, existed without them? 
But you do make him reminisce, don’t you?
And then your hand is on his arm. Weak, fingers trembling as you try to grip him, and gain his notice.
This time, your eye isn’t quite as muddled, and you direct your gaze at him rather than flitting about the room in hazy confusion.
He watches as your throat works, swallowing, and he can practically hear the inside of your dry mouth sticking as you force open your lips.
“Is it… is it time for another show?”
He blinks down at you, his lips set in a frown. 
Your dry lips tremble when he doesn’t answer. The heart rate monitor speeds up, and he glances at it--faster and faster, like a little rabbit--before resting his hand on your forehead. The beeping slows down just a little, and your eye looks up at him, darting across his face, desperate and terrified.
“No,” he says, with a somber finality, and the words are for himself as much as they are for you. “No more shows.” 
Your smile is twitchy and slow, and your eye blinks low and lidded. The drugs want to put you to sleep. You want to stay awake. You’ll lose this battle, but he likes to see that you still have the will to live in you. It will come in handy. 
A clawed finger traces your cheek, edging around the white medical patch covering your missing eye. He can see your head try to flinch, but you’re either too drugged to fully do it or you’re stopping yourself out of worry that he won’t like it.
Either option pleases him. 
Your eye isn’t as bad as it was, but it will need more healing before you can wear a prosthetic, or so the physician said. 
He’d never looked much into them before--prosthetic eyes, that is--but as he discovered during a late night bout of phone shopping, there’s a wide array of options nowadays. Exotic styles--cats and snakes and everything in between--and fun colors and pretty add-ons, like glitter or shimmer or rainbow holographics. 
The thought of your false eye staring up at him in some impossibly beautiful hue, accenting a lovely outfit he’s dressed you in, makes him a little giddy, and he hopes you’ll be excited about them, too. Maybe in time you’ll be gazing at a selection of eyes laid out on a vanity, choosing between them like you might have done before all this with lipsticks and eyeshadows. 
Will you hold up the eye you chose for his approval, a trembling smile on your face? It would be nice to see. 
Though he’s not stupid--not as naive as he might have been, if he’d met you twenty or so years ago. You’re not going to immediately jump for joy that the man who orchestrated your kidnapping, tortured you, jacked off into your eye, pulled out said eye, and almost had you yank out your own guts got you a pretty prosthetic.
No, no… not immediately, anyway. That will take time and work and training. Thankfully, he has plenty of experience with that. 
He smiles, just a little, watching as your remaining eye fights so hard to stay open; battling against the drugs keeping you sleepy and compliant for the first step in your healing.
You’re mumbling something, and he’s not really listening to the words, until he sees tears in your eye and you repeat yourself. The words come slowly. He’ll remind the nurse to wet your mouth soon.
“You pr…promise?”
He leans forward, cupping your chin, encouraging you to keep going.
Your voice is a whimper and it’s just so damned cute. Your remaining eye is wide and those pretty tears stick to the lashes like dew. He could kiss them off, he truly could, if he wasn’t sure getting anywhere near your remaining eye right now might send you into a panic.
“You promise no… no more shows?” 
“No more shows,” he says again, gentler this time, stroking your hair. The tension in your muscles gradually relaxes from his touch, or perhaps the IV drip has given you a fresh dose of painkillers on schedule. It doesn’t matter. The effect is the same. 
No more shows, yes, that’s what he tells you. 
He does not tell you “no more pain,” because there will be pain. Life does not exist without it. His business does not exist without it. He does not exist without it. 
There is always give and take, push and pull, pain and pleasure. None can exist without the other. 
It’s a truth you’ll come to learn, as he did. And he can’t wait to bring you to that truth himself. 
882 notes · View notes
nothorses · 1 month
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I think there's a Thing where any transphobia known to be against a transfem gets called "transmisogyny", which is fine I guess, but idk I feel like transmisogyny is supposed to be the word for the Specific Type of oppression that trans women face, not "transphobia that in this case is against a trans women". Does that make sense? Like if somebody misgenders a trans woman and that's it, that isn't anything more specific than "transphobia", right? Like if somebody were to call me a faggot, I wouldn't consider That transandrophobia simply because I Am a trans man, I would just think of it as generally anti-queer. Does that make sense, or am I misunderstanding the terms transmisogyny, transandrophobia, etc?
No I think you're right, and tbh I think it's a manifestation (and a really good example) of the "identity = oppression" framework a lot of folks are operating under in these conversations.
It's not something anyone really says out loud, but I've noticed it as a pattern in certain circles; mostly a lot of primarily young, online queer circles.
It's the same framework that, imo, spawned "Transmisogyny Exempt/Transmisogyny Affected" (or "TME/TMA") in which one's identity is directly equivalent to the oppression they experience.
The logic goes: If you identify as X, you experience anti-X oppression. If your identity is not X, you do not, and cannot, experience anti-X oppression.
This is also where we get, like, "misdirected misogyny" as a concept: the logic is that trans men* do not identify as women, therefore they cannot experience oppression meant for women.
Or "slur discourse": if you do not identify as X, you do not experience anti-X oppression, you have never been called this anti-X slur, and therefore you cannot reclaim this anti-X slur.
A lot of other gatekeeping arguments follow similar logic, as do a lot of arguments against acknowledging "transandrophobia" (or anti-transmasc bigotry as a specific concept). Personal identity is understood to be directly equivalent to experiences with oppression, and trans men's identities are thus broken down into their two parts, and assigned corresponding experiences:
Trans experiences
Man experiences
Even understanding "trans man" to be a third identity, with additional, unique "trans man experiences", creates a lot of friction within this framework: a lot of the unique "trans man experiences" we talk about arise from interactions between transphobia and misogyny. But misogyny must be woman-only; our experiences with misogyny are considered incidental, or "misdirected".
If we consider identity to be directly equivalent to oppression, then what, exactly, could these unique "trans man experiences" be?
In this framework, they can only ever be the combination of "trans experiences" and "man experiences"; and "man experiences" cannot contain any unique "man oppression" (unless all men are oppressed just for being men), so "trans man experiences" can only ever be "trans experiences".
When people say "transmisogyny" to refer to any and all oppression that impacts trans women, it's because they understand identity and oppression to be one and the same. Trans women's experiences with oppression cannot be understood as complex & nuanced interactions between different systems of oppression- they are always considered transmisogyny, because the person experiencing them is a trans women, and the oppression of trans women is called "transmisogyny".
It's a reductive and honestly immature understanding of how identity and oppression interact with and relate to one another, but I find it really helpful to understand it when breaking down the flaws in arguments like these ones.
*Some trans men (as well as other transmasculine people) can and do identify as women, and this logic is often applied to transmasculine people as a whole, which erases those folks as well. I'm just not sure what the most accurate term to use here is, honestly.
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scoonsalicious · 1 month
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Unwanted: Chapter 4, Unwelcome - Pt. 1*
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, Explicit Sexual Content - Minors: GTFO; I don’t serve your kind here - (oral (f receiving), unprotected PIV (only okay if one of you is a super solider who can't contract/spread, otherwise, wrap it before you tap it), bad jokes (should be a given at this point, really), dummies not understanding feelings.
Word Count: 2.6k
Previously On...: Bucky returned from his mission and your reunion got a little spicier than intended... not that either one of you is complaining! Deciding not to make it a one-time thing, you both agree to try a friends-with-benefits arrangement. What could possibly go wrong?
A/N: Yay! More smut! Aren't we all so lucky! <3 I magically managed to plow my way through writing Chapter 10 tonight, which means ya'll get Chapter 4, Part 1 a little earlier than I anticipated! I have to confess that I love the stupid banter between Bucky and Pocket. Their dumb playfulness is so #goals for me, lol. You've got a lot of fluff and such coming your way for a few chapters, meanwhile I'm at the point where I'm just writing all the angst and it is making me so sad. I subconsciously keep trying to fix it because I hate having them be at odds, but the story needs pain! And therefore I must make my babies suffer. Not right now, though. Right now is smut, smut, smut! Enjoy!
Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917
Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @jmeelee @cazellen @blackhawkfanatic @les-sel @marcswife21 @buckybarnessimpp @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @erelierraceala
You sat in your office, head bent over the latest budget requests from your lab staff. You tended to be pretty generous when it came to project funding, but this $15 million request for a proposed shrink ray had to be some sort of a joke. Did they want a lawsuit from Pym Technologies? A knock on your door drew your attention away from the submission in front of you.
"Come in," you called out, putting the shrink ray proposal in your rejection pile. Bucky entered your office, flashing you a seductive smile as he closed and locked the door behind him.
Leaning back in your desk chair, you let your eyes rove over his frame as he walked toward you. He'd obviously just come from the gym, his muscles glistening with a sheen of sweat and his t-shirt clinging to his sculpted chest. The sight of him made your heart race, and you couldn't help but feel a now familiar heat building between your legs. He looked absolutely gorgeous. "You're not my GrubHub order," you teased.
"Not your GrubHub," he said, coming around to sit on the edge of your desk, "but I bet I can fill you up just as good."
You both stared at each other for a beat before bursting into laughter. "Oh my God, Barnes," you groaned, standing up and wrapping your arms around his neck. "That was absolutely awful." You kissed him, relishing the feel of his laughter against your mouth. "I can't believe I willingly let you put your dick in me, jokes like that."
Bucky's laughter faded into a heated gaze as his hands traveled up your sides, sending shivers down your spine. "Well," he whispered huskily, his lips grazing against the shell of your ear, "I'm glad you let me, because all I can think about is doing it again."
"Then it's a very good thing you locked that door," you whispered back, trying to ignore the wetness his words sent straight to your panties.
His fingers traced the outline of your jaw, his feather-light touch igniting a trail of desire along your skin. The familiar weight of his presence grounded you, drawing you closer. Together, like this, it was as if you were the only two people in the world, as if no one else existed.
"I've been thinking about you all day," Bucky confessed, his voice laced with a mixture of longing and hunger. "Couldn't focus on anything else but getting my hands on you."
"I've been right here." You took a hand and palmed him through his sweats. He was already rock hard, ready for you.
"Tease," he moaned, slotting his lips over yours again.
Your breath hitched as he kissed you, a surge of electricity coursing through your veins. The heat between you intensified with each kiss, fueling the fire that burned deep within. The taste of him was addictive, and you wondered how you had spent over a year in his company without kissing him before now.
“Fuck,” he hissed, pulling back from you. “I don’t have a condom. I could go get one, come back…”
You shook your head, not wanting to delay another moment. You knew the serum made him immune to catching or passing on any STIs, and you were clean. “I’m on the pill, Bucky,” you said, bringing your lips to his again. “And I wanna feel you. So fucking bad.”
“Thank God for modern fucking medicine,” he grinned.
Bucky's hands roamed over your body, his touch leaving a trail of fire in its wake. He expertly unbuttoned your blouse without taking his mouth from yours, revealing the soft curve of your breasts. His lips trailed down your neck, nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin.
"You seem to have forgotten your bra, Pocket," he murmured before taking his mouth to your nipple, swirling his tongue around it and sucking gently. Your knees weakened at the sensation, and you gripped onto his shoulders for support.
"Mmm, Bucky," you moaned, arching your back as he switched his attention to your other breast, giving it the same lavish treatment. The wetness pooled between your thighs, leaving you aching for his touch.
He stepped back abruptly, his eyes dark with desire as he reached down to unbutton your skirt. "I've been dying to taste you," he murmured, his voice thick with need.
You eagerly stepped out of your skirt, revealing the black lace panties that barely covered your soaking slit. Bucky's gaze darkened further as he looked at you, hungrily taking in every inch of your exposed body.
"Fuck," he breathed, stepping closer to you "You wear these just for me?" You just smiled at him, biting your lower lip. You had worn them just for him, but he didn't need to know that. With one swift motion, he lifted you up and placed you on the edge of your desk. The cool wood felt delicious against your heated skin as Bucky hooked his fingers around the sides of your panties, pulling them down your legs and stuffing them into the pocket of his pants.
"Thief," you chastised, but he only smirked at you as he dropped to his knees in front of you, his warm breath fanning across your slick folds as he hooked your legs over his shoulders.
You grasped the edge of the desk, your heart pounding in anticipation as he leaned forward and dipped his tongue between your swollen lips. A moan escaped you at the first touch of his velvety tongue against your throbbing clit. "Holy shit, Buck," you groaned. "Just like that."
"I knew you'd be delicious," he moaned into you.
Bucky's skilled tongue worked its magic, flicking and swirling with an expertise that sent waves of pleasure radiating through your body. Your head fell back, exposing your neck as you surrendered yourself to the sensations he was evoking. Each lick and suck was like an electric shock to your core, building the tension coiling within you.
Your fingers tangled in his hair, urging him closer as he devoured you with an insatiable hunger. The intensity of his ministrations brought you to the edge faster than expected, the coil within you tightening with an urgency that demanded release. You whimpered, your moans growing louder with each pass of his tongue.
"Bucky," you panted, pulling on his hair to drag him up. "Bucky I need you. I need you right now." Your voice was desperate, your body craving the feel of his thickness inside you.
Bucky's eyes were filled with a predatory glint as he stood up, his lips glistening with the evidence of your arousal. He swiftly rid himself of his sweats, releasing his swollen, throbbing length that begged to be inside you. The air crackled with tension as he positioned himself between your thighs, his hands gripping your hips firmly.
"Tell me what you want, sweetheart," he growled, his voice rough with desire.
You locked eyes with him, the intensity of your connection sparking a fire within you. "I want you inside me," you gasped, your voice filled with a desperate need.
Without any further warning, Bucky plunged into you with a force that stole your breath. The sensation of being filled by him, stretched and taken to the brink of reason, sent shock waves coursing through every nerve ending in your body. You cried out in ecstasy, the sound mingling with his own groan of pleasure.
"Jesus Christ, Pocket," he moaned, "you're so fucking tight."
He set a punishing pace, driving into you with a raw need that matched your own. The sensation of him sliding in and out of you sent sparks of delight shooting through your veins. Your hands clawed at his back, urging him to move faster, harder.
Each stroke hit that sweet spot deep within you, igniting fireworks in your body. The desk creaked beneath the force of your movements, the sound echoing throughout the room.
"Fuck," Bucky grunted, his hips slapping against yours with a primal intensity, "turn around."
He pulled out of you and flipped you, bending you over the desk before thrusting back into you from behind. The new angle allowed him to hit you deeper than before, and you could feel the tip of him kiss your cervix.
The desk continued to shake as Bucky pounded into you, the raw power behind each thrust pushing you closer to the edge of release. Your breath came in ragged gasps, your moans filling the air as ecstasy rippled through your body.
Sweat dripped down both of your bodies, glistening in the dim light of the office. The urgency between you was palpable, a desperate hunger that consumed every inch of your being. You could feel the tension building within you, coiling tighter and tighter.
"I'm...I'm so close," you managed to pant out, your voice strained with need. "Don't stop, Bucky."
He groaned in response, his thrusts becoming more erratic, his hips slamming against yours with an almost brutal force. The sound of your bodies colliding filled the room, drowning out any other noise.
Bucky's gaze bore into yours as you turned to look at him, his eyes filled with a mixture of lust and adoration. His grip on your hips tightened even further, his fingers leaving imprints on your skin as he pistoned in and out of you. The sensations he stoked within you built to an unbearable peak, threatening to consume you both.
With one final powerful thrust, Bucky sent you hurtling over the edge, your orgasm crashing through you like a tidal wave. You cried out his name, your body convulsing as waves of bliss coursed through every fiber of your being. It was an explosion that left you breathless and trembling, your senses overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment.
Bucky followed suit, ropes of his spend spilling into you as he found his own release. He bent his body over yours, burying his face in the curve of your neck, his moans muffled against your skin as he rode out the aftershocks of his orgasm.
For a few moments, the only sound in the room was heavy breathing and the faint echo of your heartbeats pounding in your ears. Your bodies were entangled, sweaty and spent from the intense release that had just washed over you. Bucky's grip on your hips slowly loosened as he pulled out of you, his length slipping free with a wet sound.
ith a shaky sigh, you turned around and immediately collapsed back onto the desk, your legs trembling from the sheer euphoria that had consumed you moments ago. Bucky stood there, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. His eyes were filled with a mix of satisfaction and tenderness as he looked down at you.
He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before moving to stand in front of you. His fingers gently brushed against your cheek, wiping away a stray tear that had escaped during your climax. You reached up, intertwining your fingers with his and bringing them to your lips for a gentle kiss.
"Are you okay?" he asked, concern lacing his voice. "I didn't hurt you, did I? I went a little harder than I meant to."
You shook your head, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "No, Bucky. That was... incredible. You didn't hurt me, you made me feel amazing." You paused, looking up into his eyes, filled with genuine affection. "You always make me feel amazing."
His gaze softened, and he brushed his thumb against your cheekbone. You moved to hop down from your desk, but your knees gave out, refusing to hold you.
"Hey, I've got you," Bucky said with a laugh as he steadied you, supporting you as though you weighed nothing. He began slowly buttoning your shirt back up, then slid your skirt back up your thighs.
"I think you ruined my legs," you giggled as he planted a kiss on your navel before tucking your shirt back into your skirt.
"Sorry 'bout that," he said with a smirk as he straightened up.
You let out a shaky laugh. "Yeah, I'm sure you feel really bad about it," you grinned.
He leaned in close to your ear. "Not even a little bit," he whispered, as though it was a conspiratorial secret. God, just his proximity and the sound of his voice sent a shiver down your spine.
"Looking to go for Round Two already, doll?" he asked you as he took in your physical response to him with a smug smile.
"I don't think my desk can take another go at the moment, or my legs, for that matter." You tried standing up again and were pleased to find that, though your knees were still weak, you were able to hold yourself upright. You glanced over to see Bucky watching you with a shit-eating grin. "You look a little too proud of yourself, you know."
"Tell me it's not fully deserved." He grinned at you like a mother fucking cat who had just found a saucer of cream. You rolled your eyes as you began picking up the avalanche of papers that had fallen from your desk to the floor. Bucky came around and bent over to help set your office back to rights.
Once everything was back in its proper place, you stood back to admire your work. No one would know that you'd been thoroughly railed here just a few minutes before. You watched as Bucky picked up the framed photo you kept of the two of you on your desk.
It was from your trip to the New York Botanical Gardens last winter. Bucky had confessed to you that, due to spending so much time on ice while under Hydra's control, he'd developed an intense hatred-- almost fear-- of cold weather. So, when a particularly brutal cold snap had him feeling exceptionally out of sorts, you'd taken him up to the Bronx to visit the Enid A. Haupt Conservatory, where you spent the day meandering through the paths of the hothouse, surrounded by humidity and tropical plants as though you were in the middle of the rainforest. In the photo, Bucky stood next to you with his arms wrapped around your shoulders, your hands hanging off of his forearm as he leaned into you and kissed your temple. Your face was scrunched up into a ridiculous smile.
"That was a great day," Bucky said, tracing the photo with a flesh finger. "I don't think I ever told you how much it meant to me, means to me, that you did that for me." His voice had dropped to something deeper, softer.
You felt something in your heart flutter at his words, the sensation new and a little frightening. The sensation made you nervous in a way you couldn't identify. "Buck," you said, swallowing thickly, "there's not much I wouldn't do for you. I hope you know that."
His crystal blue eyes bore into you as he looked at you, almost as though he was waiting for you to say something more. When you didn't, he let out a sigh and placed the photo back on your desk.
Looking back up at you, the intensity was gone from his gaze. "You hungry? I figure we must have burned enough calories to justify a big lunch." His cocky grin was back in place.
"Yeah, that sounds perfect," you said, linking your arm in his and patently ignoring the way the contact sent a swell of affection through your heart. "Let me pop into the bathroom to clean up, and then we're good to go."
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