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beneaththetangles · 5 years

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Domestic Girlfriend and the Idol of Romantic Love

Domestic Girlfriend is a hard show to recommend seriously. The very premise reads like the trashiest of soap operas: a high school boy, depressed that the teacher with whom he is in love has a boyfriend, has a one night stand with a random girl at a mixer, only to find out that his father remarried and now both the girl he had a fling with and the teacher he was in love with are now his stepsisters. (Because just hormonal melodrama is not trash enough, gotta add that incest bonus in there!) This show seems to be made just for the perverse entertainment of watching selfish people do selfish things and ruining each other’s lives in the process. Even the show itself is in on it, with a few side characters clearly enjoying the pandemonium of certain key scenes.

That said, these kinds of shows where selfishness runs relatively unchecked can be an interesting window into just how sin messes people up. And sometimes, we need a reminder that sin is real and can cause real problems. Episodes 3 and 4 of Domestic Girlfriend in particular bring this to light as the male lead Natsuo and his younger stepsister (a.k.a. his one-time bedmate) Rui find out that her older sister Hina (a.k.a. Natsuo’s teacher and crush) is actually going out with a married man. Hina being the mistress in an affair seriously rubs Natsuo the wrong way, and he even confronts Hina about it… only for Hina to write his concerns off as the naïve cries of a kid who does not know what it is like to be an adult and what “true love” feels like.

Now, Natsuo’s approach has its own moral problems, starting with how he proceeds to force a kiss on Hina as his way of trying to change her mind. Not that Hina is much better, making her own advances to “prove” that Natsuo is still a child, with the hint that she secretly loves the attention. And while it is one thing to try to talk a family member out of an illicit relationship, Rui plotting with Natsuo and his friend to uncover and forcibly end her sister’s affair is too much of an underhanded scheme to have any moral justification. Nevertheless, the whole situation does highlight something important: how romantic love fails at being a justification for sin.

This particular trainwreck starts when Hina and her lover, Shuu, enter a café they have been to before, unaware that Natsuo is friends with the owner’s son and that he and Rui have been using the place to plot the exposure of the affair. With the anticlimactic exposure now complete, Shuu somehow figures that the best thing to do is to politely introduce himself as a married man that is cheating on his wife with Hina. (I am pretty sure there is a “galaxy brain” meme in here somewhere.) He tries to justify the affair by saying he truly “loves” Hina. And when Natsuo gets angry over this, Shuu only adds more fuel to the fire by asking him, if the problem is the whole affair thing, would he would approve of the relationship if Shuu officially divorced his wife? The insinuation here is that Shuu knows that the real reason Natsuo is angry is because he has feelings for Hina, and that Natsuo has no real moral ground for his objections. He then goes on to say that he does want to go through the divorce proceedings but cannot yet because “reality does not work that way” and he needs more time. This leads to Shuu getting dunked on—literally, via glass of water—by Rui, before she runs off, forcing Hina to think more seriously about her relationship and how it is affecting her family.

Rui used Water Dump! It’s super effective!

Even in the aftermath, Shuu holds fast to his position. He writes off Rui’s anger as the outburst of a child who cares a lot about justice (implying he does not care much for justice at all), and when Hina suggests that they spend some time apart, he challenges her concern for family by hugging her and asking her what her own feelings are, regardless of what others think. To Shuu, romantic love is the god that trumps all other things: family, marriage vows, and even justice itself. There is nothing wrong with cheating on his wife, if it means he and Hina can be happy together.

Those who worship the idol of romantic love do not care about how infidelity hurts people. Shuu does not care how much he would hurt his wife, or how Hina’s sister was hurt to the point she ran away from home for some time. He even did not realize how Hina herself had been hurting from his inability to commit to her. And that is to say nothing of the many actual lives that have been impacted by marital infidelity. How many exes and children have lost the ability to trust after the person they trusted the most betrayed them for the sake of romance? And all this is to say nothing about how much infidelity hurts God, who created marriage to be a bond representing His everlasting love for His Church, only to see that bond broken over and over by those who only care about the dopamine high of romantic love.

To make matters worse, the god of romantic love is a fickle one. Shuu might not care about justice, his wife’s feelings, or Rui’s anger, but the one thing that does concern him is that Natsuo has feelings for Hina and that Hina might feel the same way back. With no weight to the power of commitment behind them, the romantic love worshipper feels most threatened by romantic rivals. Shuu had asked if the kids would approve of his relationship with Hina if he divorced his wife, but even if they did approve, what is stopping him from one day falling out of love with Hina and cheating with another girl later? Shuu has already shown he is willing to throw aside marriage vows for the sake of love. He might claim he loves Hina now, but the physical, passionate feelings that drive romantic love tend to fade after time. When romantic feelings fade and the pressures of a long-term relationship build up, the god of romantic love, in its dissatisfaction, will latch on to any opportunity to get what it needs through a new lover. In this way, Rui’s concern for Hina’s affair makes sense: she has no reason to have faith that Shuu will not dump Hina for yet another girl in the future.

Hina was following the god of romantic love for some time, but at the end of episode four she comes to her senses (at least for the moment) and announces that she has broken up with Shuu after realizing her family is more important. At least for this part, it is definitely nice to see a character acknowledge that some things are more important than romance, an idol that so many other stories worship. That said, the cynical side of me knows that all this does is free up Hina to participate in the most twisted love triangle on this side of New World Order. The god of romantic love will be enticing Hina back with promises of good feelings and happiness, and like infidelity, this idol cares not for what people think of incest or “proper” teacher-student relationships. This god also has its eyes on Rui, who has grown more emotionally intimate with Natsuo throughout this whole ordeal, which combined with their night of passion that will likely be impossible to truly forget, means all the ingredients are in place for yet another romantic affair. (And that is to say nothing of outside parties looking to add sides to this love polygon…) These three might have escaped from one trainwreck, but even bigger trains are incoming and no one has made any efforts to install brakes.

You just know that her “more important” will eventually take on a whole new meaning…

Now, this is meant to be a Valentine’s Day post, so I do not want to slam on romantic love too much. Romance is a great thing, and romantic stories are some of my favorite stories. However, like all others, romantic love must ultimately kneel in service to God. After all, God created romance as a good thing, as a way to make our lives better and more enjoyable, and thus bring more glory to Him. By that same token, though, that means anytime romantic love tempts us to do something that goes against His commandments, we are to stop and remind ourselves who our true God is. And for Christians and non-Christians alike, we must avoid making an idol out of romantic love, for romantic love makes for a poor god, one that cares not for the destruction it can cause or the happiness of its followers when its whims take it in new directions. If you need a reminder of that, perhaps watch Domestic Girlfriend for a reminder of the problems the god of romantic love can cause.

Domestic Girlfriend is streaming on Crunchyroll and HIDIVE.

#Anime #Christianity #Domestic na Kanojo #Domestic Girlfriend #Valentine's Day #Romance #Love #Idolatry #Articles #Author: stardf29

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nerdylittleshit · 6 years

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Thoughts about Spn 13x04

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

WELCOME BACK CAS YOU WILD… WILDFLOWER! Whatever! I’m wearing my bee socks to celebrate. Also, other stuff happened, that I enjoyed a lot. Let’s begin!

The focus on this week’s episode was of course on the loss and grief our boys (including Jack) experience ever since the season starts. Something 13x01 dealt with as well, and that has been the emotional groundwork of 13x02 and 13x03. I feel like that at least in the first half of the season these themes will continue to be important. It is possible that Jack found some closure this episode after he was able to say goodbye to his mother, who was his biggest loss, and that we will see the same kind of closure with Dean and Sam, once they are reunited with the person they miss the most (Dean with Cas, Sam with Mary). The second part of the season might mirror then this first part, where the brothers reflect their feelings and experiences of this time, and we see the emotional aftermath of the reunions.

Either way, this episode was in no way subtle with those themes. Others have mentioned this, especially @neven-ebrez, that ever since Dabb became showrunner, the themes that had been part of the subtext transformed into text. Topics meta writers had been writing about for years become part of the show’s actual text. The most obvious example was the conversation Dean had with Mary in 12x22 (how Dean was forced to become a parent when his mother died). This week it is Sam and his feelings regarding Mary, and the way both brothers dealt with their grief. After 13x03 this had been the main discussion, at least on my dash, and this week we have it spelled out by the brothers. I have seen different opinions about whether people like this new way of storytelling or not. Personally I don’t have a preference – I enjoyed Carver’s approach as much as I enjoy Dabb’s way now.

My personal highlight was the focus on both Jack and Sam as characters. Jack of course is still a very new character we don’t know much about. Sam though… people who know my blog know that my main focus here is usually on Dean. He is the character that I feel I understand the most, whereas Sam feels in some ways… underdeveloped as a character. (That is in no way Sam hate. In my opinion though the show has focused more on Dean, but I’m always glad when they, like in this episode, tell us more about Sam). I hope that some writers, like Glynn this week, will focus more on Sam in the future, so we get more inside into his character.

The Big Sleep

I have to admit that the parts with Cas in the Empty were my least favourite parts of the episode. Other that I can totally relate to the Empty, because man I know that feeling when you just want to sleep, I think I expected more from it? Kinda? Something that put me a bit off, to be honest, was Misha’s acting of the Empty, which reminded me of Lucifer!Cas, and was a bit too much.

It was interesting in terms of mythology. The Empty was the big threat lying over season 11, but then we never went there and season 12 kinda forget about it. It makes sense that Billy wanted to bring Sam and Dean here, the place where not even God had any power, and nothing could have brought them back (except you know some lil’ Nugget). We finally know now where dead angels and demons go (and I suspect monsters who died in purgatory). Cas asked if every angel who ever died was there too, and in this moment he probably thought of how many of these deaths he was responsible for. Given that we know that characters like Miriam and Billy will return I wonder if the conversation between Cas and the Empty woke them up as well, or if the Empty accidently released more than one dead being (maybe some demons will return as well?).

Another aspect is what the Empty promises Cas, if he goes back to sleep: peace, no regrets, no pain. A world without pain you could say. Paradise. Which makes me wonder if that is what Jack saw in the future? Jack who of course couldn’t know that the place he saw was the Empty? And in return he gave Cas a false promise of hope.

Cas of course has his own catharsis in the Empty. He is confronted with his biggest failures and his “little feelings”, who he hates, who he loves, and what he fears. And it is no coincidence the Empty tells him that after Cas said Sam and Dean need him. Because his biggest fear? That it is not true, that they don’t need him after all. Which makes his statement at the end so much more important: that he is already saved. In the same season where Sam and Dean discussed if Jack is worth saying (who remains a huge Netflix loving Cas mirror), the question no longer applies to Cas. Cas no longer needs to be saved, Cas fights back, and Cas returns triumphantly in the end.

The Good Guys

I found it quite interesting that Jack referred to Sam and Dean as “the good guys”, based on the facts that they kill monsters, because it sounds like some phrase he just learned without really understanding what “good” means. It is an idea to him, a very abstract one, the same as “bad”. He knows that lying is bad, but learns that in order to be the good guys Sam and Dean have to lie. He knows he is supposed to feel bad about the people he accidently hurt, but admits that he doesn’t feel anything. To me this displays that he is still very much a child, who has no deeper understanding of ethics and morality. But he is also half (arch) angel, a being who is made not to experience emotions. Sam and Dean might be great teachers for many things, but they view Jack from a very human perspective and Jack simply isn’t human. That is why Mia could relate to him in a way Sam couldn’t. That is why he needs Cas. Cas, the angel, who learned to experience his “little feelings”.

(Little digression on Jack watching “Clone Wars”. First of all he is probably the only person who watched that show without knowing that Anakin will turn dark side, and still he instantly disliked Anakin. He did like Ashoka though. Given that Ashoka is Anakin’s student it makes sense Jack sees himself more in her, and that his dislike for Anakin might refer to his dislike for Sam’s training methods. Ironically though Jack himself is an Anakin mirror. Also, I never watched “Clone Wars”, so don’t listen to what I say here.)

I also liked that Jack let Sam know he heard his argument with Dean from 13x03 right from the start, expressing his feeling that Sam only uses him for his powers. Stuff like this, secrets that would lead to conflict, have been a part of the show for a long time, but ever since season 12 those secrets don’t last long anymore. Mary told their sons about her working with the BMoL pretty fast, and so did Sam with Dean when he started working with them. We talked about truth and how it can set you free (regarding Dean telling the sheriff the truth in 13x01), and Jack and Sam being honest with each other here prevents their relationship to become toxic. Sam admits that he made a mistake, that he should have been honest in the first place, and he explains why it is so important for him that Jack can control his powers (without trying to pressure Jack). And Jack of course can relate. He would do anything, if it could bring him his mother back.

One of the examples of how subtext becomes text is how openly Sam and Dean talked about grieving this episode, something that has been the main focus of discussion after 13x03. They both accuse the other that they don’t grieve right – which is bullshit because there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Sam thinks that what Dean is doing is not healthy, that he is not processing his grief, and that he wants to move on when he is clearly not ready for it. Except that it is Sam who hasn’t start to process his grief yet, because as Dean said, he has not yet accepted his mother’s death. Mia might be right that Dean is angry, and that he is letting it out on everyone around him – but anger is a part of the grieving process.

At the end they both make a step in each other’s direction. Sam faces for the first time that Dean could be right, that Mary could be dead, and what it would mean for him. Because he openly admits why the thought of losing his mother again is so terrifying for him – because he never really got to know her and now he fears he might never get the chance to. They both started on a blank space in season 12, but Mary’s guilt over the deal she made and the consequences it had for Sam built up a barrier between them (tagging @elizabethrobertajones because she wrote some excellent meta about the Mary-Sam-relationship in season 12). It is a pattern we have not only seen with Mary – throughout the show it is almost always Dean who bonds with other people, who is building friendships etc. They are Sam’s friends as well, but first they are Dean’s friends. And we see something similar with Jack – Sam is the one reaching out to him, supporting him, and yet he longs for Dean’s approval.

Speaking of parents, Dean again reminds Sam that he in no way thinks he has to be a parent to Jack, something he was forced to be for Sam. And even though Dean’s attitude towards Jack is questionable him stepping deliberately away from the parent role is a good thing. He started to step away from it in 12x22, when he admitted he was forced into it to Mary and how it was not fair, and later let Sam go to fight the BMoL. And for all that Dean doesn’t want to be Jack’s mum he becomes more and more like his father, acting like a drill sergeant. And even though Sam thinks it worked on Dean, we know it don’t. Dean became a good man despite of it, not because. Jack though resembles very much the “good son” who tries to impress his father, in this case Dean, making him more similar to other “good sons” like Dean himself, Michael and to some extent Cas (opposed to the rebellious sons Sam and Lucifer).

Some other things

- I liked the twist on the monster of the week, a monster who tried to help people, to do something good to redeem herself, repeating Kelly’s message from last week: it doesn’t matter what you are, but what you do. Your choices are who define you.

- I think this the third time Dean has been associated with shifters. In 1x06 the shifter became Dean, revealing his true feelings about Sam and their life together. In 10x06 Olivia, the shapeshifting maid, was a huge mirror for MoC!Dean. And this time we have yet another shifter who shifts into Dean, to metaphorically (and literary) rip his face off, to reveal yet again the truth.

Going to be now. Feel free to leave your dream Destiel reunion scenarios in my inbox. Til next week!

#supernatural #spn 13x04 #the big empty #spn meta #spoilers #my meta

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