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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 1 year

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Psycho Analysis: The 50 Greatest Comic Book Superhero Movie Villains

I think it’s pretty obvious I love villains, considering I have this whole series dedicated to talking about them. And anyone who has followed me for long enough should know that I love superhero movies. So, naturally, I love comic book superhero movie villains. They’re fun, they’re over the top, they’re colorful… They’re the best kinds of villains, especially when a great actor gets pulled in to play them. So why not bring Psycho Analysis back in time for the holidays with a big villain list special?

Here’s the thing: For a long time, comic book movie villains were pretty shitty. You had fun, campy ones every now and then, but most of them were really boring or just plain sucked. You had generic doomsday villains all over the place, or villains who were disrespectful of their comic origins (looking at you, Galactus). Or that’s what I thought going into this, anyway. Turns out there are a lot more villains I would say are genuinely great than ones who I’d call shitty. It’s just the shitty ones are so shitty you think they’re the rule rather than the exception. But that’s another list; right now, we’re celebrating the villains we love to hate.

The rules of this list are simple: So long as the villain has appeared in either a standalone comic book superhero movie, a superhero movie series, or is part of a superhero cinematic universe, they are fair game for this list. I bent the rules a tiny bit in a couple of places, but this is the one consistent rule. This means no Teen Titans Go! To the Movies Slade or Shredder, because despite being based on properties that started as comics, they’re based more on the cartoon version of the characters.

Here are the honorable mentions, the villains who didn’t make the cut for one reason or another (but who I think deserve a shout out regardless): Scarlet Witch (Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness), Gorr (Thor: Love & Thunder), Jigsaw (Punisher: War Zone), Hela (Thor: Ragnarok), Carnage (Venom: Let There Be Carnage), Ebony Maw (Avengers: Infinity War), Steppenwolf (Zack Snyder’s Justice League), The Motherfucker (Kick-Ass 2), and Black Mask (Birds of Prey). Special shout outs to Mr. Mind (Shazam!) and Darkseid (Zack Snyder’s Justice League), who would definitely be on this list if they actually had a chance to do more than look cool and foreshadow future movies (ones that will never happen in the latter’s case). And an apology to Cottonmouth of Luke Cage, a show I have sadly not had a chance to watch; if fan reaction to the character is anything to go by, he’d have ended up on this list. Oh, and if I included comic book movies outside superhero ones, I’d probably have thrown Gideon Gordon Graves (Scott Pilgrim) and maybe, possibly Xerxes (300) on the list as well.

Now, on to the list! Oh, and be aware: There are SPOILERS liberally sprinkled throughout the little blurbs I wrote for each villain.

50. Poison Ivy

Batman & Robin

Even in a film as campy as Batman & Robin, Poison Ivy is outstandingly campy. Uma Thurman knew exactly what she was doing, making everyone’s favorite sapphic, slutty supervillain the icon she deserves to be, even with some truly stupid haircuts. If only Harley was in the movie.. it boggles the mind.

49. Taserface

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Taserface is one of the funniest minor villains ever. I mean, look at him. This man is absurd, and calls himself “Taserface!” But he’s also scarily effective, pulling off a brutal mutiny and killing most of Yondu’s crew. The man gets no respect up until his death, but he never stops being entertaining.

48. Riddler

Batman Forever

Jim Carrey in his prime as one of the most over-the-top and cartoonish villains in Batman’s rogues gallery? Yes please! This is one of the single campiest performances in either of Schumacher’s Batman films—and that’s saying a lot. He can grate on the nerves a little bit, but Carrey is just having way too much fun. Really didn’t need to see his bulge, though.

47. Sandman

Spider-Man 3

Thomas Haden Church gets big points for being the spitting image of Flint Marko, but he also deserves some credit for delivering a genuinely nuanced and emotional performance in the hot mess of a film he’s in. The scene where he is created is still to this day one of the most powerful moments in any comic book movie ever, a fantastic display of visual storytelling and impressive effects work congealing into a shining moment in a film that doesn’t have many.

46. Obadiah Stane

Iron Man

Stane is a weird one. On the one hand, he’s a precursor to every bad villain in superhero movies to come, as he ends up as a Big Gray CGI Monstrosity with the same powers as the hero. On the other hand, Jeff Bridges is just so delightfully hammy and he is the first of his kind in the modern age, so I think it’s fair to cut him a bit of slack.

45. Red Skull

Captain America: The First Avenger

Hugo Weaving may have initially had little respect for the role, but there’s no denying he put good work into it. Red Skull is sinister, hammy, and deliciously evil, perfect for the pulpy adventure tale of Cap’s debut. I mean, the man backstabs the Third Reich because he considers himself eviler than them, what more could you ask for?

44. Milo

Morbius

Look, you knew at least one “so bad it’s good” villain was gonna be here, and I’ve gotta hand it to Milo; he really makes the most of Morbius’s meticulous mediocrity. Matt Smith I’d clearly having the time of his life, giving a dramatic performance better than this movie deserved and a hammy supervillain performance that this movie desperately needed. And let’s not forget the man has the sickest dance moves this dude of Bully Maguire.

43. Bane

The Dark Knight Rises

The Dark Knight Rises may not be the greatest finale ever, but it did what so many Batman adaptations fail to do: It acknowledged Bane is a cunning mastermind behind the muscles. Throw in an awesome performance from Tom Hardy and a mind-boggling amount of meme-worthy lines and you have yourself a fantastic villain. His truly embarrassing final fate and the fact he was pretty blatantly whitewashed are the only thinga keeping him so low on the list.

42. Violator

Spawn

Spawn may not be the best superhero movie ever, but if there’s one shining spot in it (besides how cool the titular character is), it’s John Leguizamo’s madcap performance as the demonic Clown. Despite being steeped in grimy gross out comedy, he still manages to be fun to watch, mainly because literally everyone around him finds him as disgusting as the audience does. And even if his demon form is hit with janky PS2 CGI, he still manages to get in some badass lines and moments. Bottom line: Leguizamo did not eat actual maggot pizza to miss out on this list.

41. Bullseye

Daredevil

Colin Farrell did not miss the mark with his portrayal of Daredevil’s assassin archenemy. It’s such a fun, hammy, laughably evil performance that helps add a bit of fun to the edgy proceedings by being basically a literal cartoon character come to life. Now if he only got that fucking costume…

40. Arthur Harrow

Moon Knight

Transforming a minor, unimpressive villain from the comics into a credible threat onscreen is par for the course for superhero media, but few end up quite this impressive. Most of the credit has to go to Ethan Hawke, who really gives it his all as the sorcerous cult leader, but I think the imagined version inside Marc’s mind that’s the head doctor of the psychiatric facility is where he really shines, as it plays with our perception a bit.

39. Ultron

Avengers: Age of Ultron and What If…?

Here is a villain desperately seeking a film worthy of him. James Spader is giving such a fun, engaging performance with only a couple of hiccups, but everything around him is just so quippy and stupid that the film struggles to take him seriously. Still, he deserves a spot here at the very least for his incredibly realistic villain origin: He took one look at the internet and decided humanity needed to be destroyed. And hey, if nothing else What If…? gave him a chance to shine and be the threat he deserves to be!

38. Ulysses Klaue

Black Panther

Andy Serkis sadly gets offed halfway through Black Panther, but even with his limited screentime he has become a beloved minor antagonist. It helps he managed to have a fantastic cameo in Age of Ultron (one of the sole bright spots in that film), and that for his role as the first act’s villain in Black Panther Serkis approaches the role with such humor and grimy charm that you’ll probably feel bad when this scumbag ends up in a body bag.

37. The Thinker

The Suicide Squad

The roulette wheel of villains in The Suicide Squad eventually lands on Peter Capaldi’s maniacal mad scientist, and while he doesn’t have any major fights he manages to steal the show with just how slimy and egotistical he is. He’s just a nasty, awful bastard, and being responsible for the final villain going full kaiju rampage is worth making it on this list.

36. Lex Luthor

Superman Returns

It’s so fucking sad that despite being used in almost every Superman film ever made, the onily time his most iconic foe was ever good when he was played by real-life creep Kevin Spacey. But hey, being a villain in real life gives just the right touch of unhinged ego and cockiness Luthor needs.

35. Top Dollar

The Crow

When I made the list of the 30 best comic book superhero movies, I left off The Crow, mainly because I didn’t think of it as a superhero movie (it’s more like a friend to me if I’m being honest). Kind of a harsh snub there, so as an apology Michael Wincott’s effortlessly cool and needlessly cruel gangster overlord gets to take a place on this list. Not many people can bang their half-sibling and still come away being awesome, but somehow owning the Six-Fingered Sword from The Princess Bride and using it in a duel probably goes a long way towards making Top Dollar one of the most memorable crime bosses you’ll ever see.

34. Dr. Sivana

Shazam!

When you have a villain as silly as “Doctor who harnesses the powers of the seven deadly sins because of darkness in his heart to get revenge” you need a damn good actor to pull that off. Mark Strong is a damn good actor, and this is a taste of what we could have had if they let him play Sinestro more than once. I for one can’t wait to see him take orders from an evil caterpillar!

33. Sabretooth

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Liev Schreiber makes his first mark on this list as Wolverine’s ultraviolent archenemy, and easily the best part of Origins. He’s fun and menacing, and a lot more memorable than whatever the hell that poser in the original X-Men was. The greatest crime of the franchise (besides piss-poor continuity and bad writing and over reliance on Wolverine) was never bringing back Sabretooth to plague good old Logan one more time.

32. Penguin

The Batman

In a movie as dark as this, we need a little bit of levity. Enter Penguin, here imagined as a cartoonish mobster that would almost be out of place if this movie didn’t clearly have a bit of West influence in it. Colin Farrell is no stranger to playing hilariously cartoonish supervillains so in his role here he excels, and it’s easy to see why he’s getting his own spin-off series.

31. Sebastian Shaw

X-Men: First Class

Long before he spent Christmas with the Guardians of the Galaxy, Kevin Bacon terrorized the X-Men in one of their best outings. While he’s not winning any points for comic accuracy, he definitely wins points for being responsible for Magneto’s start of darkness, being the one who killed his mother (and thus a Nazi). He’s a slimy supremacist bastard, and it’s oh so satisfying to watch Magneto make sure there’s zero degrees of separation between his skull and a magnetized coin.

30. Ozymandias

Watchmen

As is often the case with Snyder’s Watchmen, the movie misses the point a bit here. They turned the charming, charismatic, muscular Chad that was the comic Adrian into a cold, brooding, emotionally distant soyboy. It kinda ruins the surprise that this dude is the evil mastermind. Still, with how slavishly loyal the film is, it still manages to make Veidt one of the finest and most morally complex supervillains to hit the big screen… he’s just not quite as impressive as his comic version (though really, who is?).

29. Zemo

Captain America: Civil War and The Falcon and the Winter Soldier

Zemo is the obvious evolution of the supervillain archetype Loki codified, but he is far more refined. His motives are solid and understandable, his methods are heinous enough to root against, and he makes some valid points. Then he proceeds to do what not even Thanos could: He tears the Avengers apart. He’s the rare villain who actually wins, the rarer villain who actually gets to live, and the rarest villain of all who gets to return, steal the show with awkward dance moves and praising Marvin Gaye, and—most crucially—look cool wearing a purple sock on his head.

28. Ocean Master

Aquaman

Good old Orm doesn’t make the list by being the deepest or most complex character (though he’s not lacking in depth and is pretty understandable in some of his motives), but by being just so delightfully comic booky. He’s hammy, he poses, he wears a silly helmet, and he acts as a great narrative foil for our hero. Bonus points for not only being a villain who is at least a little justified to the point he’s redeemed—by the power of love, no less!—but one who survives the movie to get more development later on.

27. Doctor Doom

The Fantastic Four

The unreleased Fantastic Four film of the 90s may have been hobbled by a budget consisting of change they found in the couch cushions, but the love and respect for the source material always managed to shine through. Nowhere is that more evident than with Doom; he’s hammy, he’s grandiose, he has a giant castle and throne room, he acts like everyone except him is a total idiot, and he won’t stop calling Reed a douchebag even when he’s about to fall to his ambiguous death. He may not put up much of a fight, but this Doom is head and shoulders above Dooms with a thousand times the budget.

26. Justin Hammer

Iron Man 2

Iron Man 2 is a sloppy film that was a grim omen of problems that would plague the MCU later down the line, but it did one thing right in giving the world the inimitable Justin Hammer. Where Tony Stark is an idealized fantasy billionaire who is actually a good person who wants to help people, Hammer is a more realistic take to serve as a contrast. He’s smug, he’s smarmy, he engages in all manner of illegal activity to undermine his betters, and most crucially he is an incredible idiot. This man is basically the MCU version of Elon Musk, but where Musk’s attempts at trying to be cool are pathetic and cringeworthy, Hammer’s attempts to ape Tony’s style just serve to make him endearing. And do you think Musk could ever have dance moves half as sick as Hammer’s? Get real.

25. The Grandmaster

Thor: Ragnarok

It’s Jeff Goldblum as space Caligula. ‘Nuff said.

24. Mr. Freeze

Batman & Robin

People have ragged on Arnold’s campy Freeze for years due to his non-stop barrage of ice puns, but much like his home movie he’s honestly not as bad as the haters would make you think. Schwarzenegger is adept at both comedy and drama, and is able to deftly balance the tragic melodrama of Freeze’s backstory and his campy cartoonishness, all while wearing one of the coolest costumes ever seen. And you know what? The ice puns aren’t that bad. Chill out.

23. Prowler

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Uncle Aaron is an inspired take on Uncle Ben, a character who has been done to death (literally). The positive dynamic he has with his nephew is familiar, but the fact he has a criminal alter ego who is relentlessly and unknowingly hunting his beloved nephew down for Kingpin is a fresh take on a tired tale. He still dies, and his death is the catalyst for Miles to fully embrace being Spider-Man, while alive he is equal parts menacing force and tragic figure. With apologies to Miss Octavius, he’s definitely the best secondary antagonist in the film.

22. Penguin

Batman Returns

Danny DeVito’s portrayal of Penguin as a tragic, deformed monster as opposed to a classy gangster has gone on to inform basically every portrayal of the character since, to the point where sticking closer to the character’s roots is seen as weird. It’s not a surprise, though; DeVito manages to make Penguin a menacing, creepy villain as well as a pitiable figure all at once.

21. Vulture

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Michael Keaton is no stranger to comic book movies, and here he demonstrated he is just as adept at playing badass villains as he is at playing heroes. Taking one of Spider-Man’s corniest villains and giving him a high tech upgrade and sympathetic motivation was a smart move, as was keeping him noble even in the end. Of course, his best scene doesn’t even have him in his bird suit; it has him in his regular clothes, slowly piecing together the truth about Peter while the boy sits in the backseat of his car. Keaton’s acting in the car ride scene is something else entirely.

20. Loki

Marvel Cinematic Universe

I was personally not a huge fan of Loki’s turn as an out and out doomsday villain in the first Avengers movie, but it’s hard to deny his impact on the medium and how he was the first villain in the MCU to actually have nuance, which was much better showcased in the Thor films. And you’ll never hear a bad word from me about Tom Hiddleston’s performance, which is fantastic no matter what he’s in, up to being the best part of every episode of What If...? he’s in. It’s no wonder Loki got his own spin-off show with all that in mind.

19. White Dragon

Peacemaker

Peacemaker’s dad is probably the biggest piece of shit on this list, being an openly racist neo-Nazi supervillain and one of the most abusive fathers you’ll ever see. By all accounts he shouldn’t be as cool as he is, but between Robert Patrick’s fantastic performance and James Gunn being a master of writing conflicts between parents and children like this, he becomes an enjoyable hate sink you oh so badly want to see get what’s coming to him. And even better, despite being built up as a genius inventor and badass villain, he makes crucial errors in his suit’s construction that leads to his demise, showing once and for all that for all their posturing, white supremacists are just fucking morons who fold like wet paper at the slightest opposition.

18. General Zod

Superman II

Terrence Stamp took a villain who wasn’t quite iconic and managed to make him on the level of Luthor when it comes to Superman villains almost anyone could name, to the point where Stamp’s portrayal influenced the comic version going forwards. He has an air of class and menace that makes it pretty easy to want to kneel before him. Zod has become a little overexposed, being the go-to Superman bad guy when they don’t feel like using Luthor, but when the original take was this good it’s seriously hard to fault them too much.

17. Mysterio

Spider-Man: Far From Home

Mysterio isn’t just brilliant because he’s a fun, meta take on a great goofy comic villain, with him and his team essentially being Marvel movie creators gone bad, fabricating CGI spectacle to gain accolades. And he’s not just brilliant because of that fantastic illusion sequence where he puts Spidey through a dizzying nightmare trip. No, he’s brilliant because not only did he convince the world at large that he’s an incredible hero, he managed to convince some audience members that he’s just a poor, innocent worker who was taken advantage of by his former billionaire boss (which ignores so much, but especially that he’s working with someone who was complicit in dealing arms to terrorists). He’s certainly not a hero, but he’s most definitely a master of illusions.

16. Starro

The Suicide Squad

Starro serves as the final boss of The Suicide Squad, unleashing kaiju destruction on Corto Maltese. And like all great kaiju, there is an air of tragedy to the big starfish; he never wanted any of this, in its final moments choosing to lament how content it was to simply drift through space before it was kidnapped and forced to undergo perverse experiments at the hands of the American government (and particularly Thinker). Starro doesn’t even want to fight the Squad at first, implying it’s grateful to them for freeing it from torture. The Squad may not put much thought into how tragic Starro’s lot is, but the audience sure will.

15. Agatha Harkness

WandaVision

In a technical sense, Agatha didn’t do too much wrong besides gaslight Wanda in an attempt to steal her powers. Sure, she kidnaps Wanda’s kids and kills their dog, but none of those things are real; and sure, she hypnotized Ralph Bohner (heh) into thinking he was Quicksilver, but it’s no worse than Wanda’s mass brainwashing of Westview. But she just relishes so much in being a wicked witch, from her torment of Wanda to her insanely catchy villain song, that I’m inclined to take her word for it and say she’s a bad guy. She’s definitely getting some kind of redemption in her own show, but for now Kathryn Hahn camping it up like she just walked off the set of Hocus Pocus can take high marks on this list.

14. Amanda Waller

DC Cinematic Universe

I don’t think there has ever been such an impressive turnaround for a comic book villain ever. It was never a matter of Viola Davis, who gave her all from day one, but a matter of how abysmal the writing in Suicide Squad was, portraying her as an incompetent idiot who was still allowed to get away with everything in the end. Once Gunn took the reigns of the franchise, though, Waller finally got her due, sending an entire squad to their death as a distraction and basically playing 4D chess for the whole movie. She gets her comeuppance too, so it’s a lot more satisfying watching her win a few schemes when you know she can lose a few too. Being a greater-scope villain for Peacemaker just further cemented her as being the magnificent bitch the character should be; we can only hope she keeps it up in her next major appearance.

13. Kingpin

Daredevil (The movie and the Netflix series), Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

It’s honestly amazing that a villain as seemingly simple as Wilson Fisk has not only been done differently three times in ways that make him cool and engaging, but he’s also maintained a high level of quality in every appearance. Michael Clarke Duncan brought size and intimidation to his version, doing so well despite Daredevil’s weak theatrical cut he got to reprise the role in the underrated Spider-Man: The New Animated Series; Liev Schreiber voiced the memeiest version of the character to date, one who even holds the distinction of killing one Spider-Man and inadvertently creating another; and Vincent D’onofrio is so good he managed to pull the entire Netflix Daredevil show into the MCU canon with his appearance in Hawkeye. Fisk would be the easiest villain in the world to half-ass and make generic, but we’ve been blessed with fantastic actors in the role. Kingpin gets the distinction of being the one of only two villains with multiple entries in one spot.

12. Kilgrave

Jessica Jones

David Tennant is the third and final former Doctor to make the list, and he’s so good at being a bad I bent the rules ever so slightly to get him in on the list. The canonicity of Jessica Jones to the MCU is a bit unclear right now, but do we really want to live in a world where his fantastically chilling performance is Thanos’d from the timeline? A walking avatar of rape culture and a laundry list of microagressions, Kilgrave is one of the slimiest, most sadistic, most reprehensible characters ever conceived… and yet you can’t help but love to hate him.

11. Catwoman

Batman Returns

There have been plenty of Catwomans in film, with her being portrayed as a hero, an anti-hero, and even a silly Silver Age villainess. But I think Miss Kyle was done best as an antagonist in the hands of Michelle Pfeiffer, who absolutely nails the dynamic between Selina and Bruce (and their alter egos) as well as portraying the inherent tragedy of this take on the character. Throw in Pfeiffer looking damn fine in that costume and her handling the whip like a pro, and you have what might just be the purr-fect Catwoman.

10. Namor

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

Phase 4 of the MCU was largely uneven, with villains who could have been great under better circumstances being held back by sloppy narrative choices. Big names like Gorr and Scarlet Witch were let down by weak stories, so there was a sense of dread I had going into Wakanda Forever that they’d let down one of Marvel’s oldest and most iconic anti-heroes. I had nothing to worry about in the end; Tenoch Huerta brought the character to life with all the charm, charisma, and command of the screen the Sub-Mariner deserves, and boy does he look good. The story treats him with the respect he deserves (no jokes about his ankle wings!) and while he’s certainly no Killmonger, he easily cements himself as a fantastic anti-hero who you can’t wait to see more of. And really, I can’t stress this enough: He is really fucking hot.

9. Riddler

The Batman

I’m sure I’m in the same boat as a lot of people, where I saw the Zodiac-inspired getup of the new Riddler and thought this was going to be a Nolanesque gritty reimagining of the character. But lo and behold, we got something infinitely better: A Riddler that utilizes all manner of gruesome Saw traps while also maintaining the hilarious campy quality that’s inherent to the character. He sends personalized greeting cards with clues, he hosts evil livestreams for his fans, he sings “Ave Maria” to Batman, and most importantly he has a sick sense of humor. I love Jim Carrey, but he ain’t got shit on Paul Dano when it comes to riddlin’.

8. Joker

Batman: The Movie, Batman, The Dark Knight, and Joker

Joker is a character who always manages to get a fresh take despite being absolutely done to death, and each interpretation highlights a different aspect that makes the character great. Romero’s Joker is very much the playful, criminal prankster; Nicholson is the swaggering, comically violent gangster; Ledger is the chilling, maniacal anarchist; and Phoenix is the disturbed, broken man who had one really bad day. And the one thing common across all of them is that each of them has made the Joker a consistently compelling and engaging villain. And while he hasn’t done enough yet to get in on this spot of the list entirely, Barry Keoghan deserves a shout out for portraying Joker as he truly is: A giggling, hideous, conniving freak.

7. Thanos

Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame

Thanos was a villain nearly a decade in the making, getting teased in The Avengers before making sporadic appearances here and there. His lack of direct action in the franchise had some worried… and then he stole the show in Infinity War, kicked everyone’s ass, and emerged victorious. They managed to take a villain whose main goal in the comics is to fuck a skeleton and somehow make him work, namely by keeping his headstrong self-righteousness intact even if he isn’t trying to bone the grim reaper, with Josh Brolin delivering one of the finest performances of his career. There are other villains that are better than him, but there aren’t any villains who truly feel as grand of epic as he did, and with DC dropping Darkseid from their cinematic universe it’s doubtful there ever will be one again, at least not for a very long time.

6. Doctor Octopus

Spider-Man 2 and Spider-Man: No Way Home

Alfred Molina’s Otto Octavius is an excellent contrast to Dafoe’s Goblin. Where Gobby is hammy, hilarious, and gleefully sadistic, Octavius is grandiose in a more understated way and a lot more tragic, while still managing to be as fun as a mad scientist with robot tentacles should be. You can definitely tell Molina is bringing his stage acting skills to the table here with how he carries himself and delivers his lines, making Octavius stand out among the more traditionally campy villains in Raimi’s other films. He got to return for an encore in No Way Home and gets the awesome fight scene and redemption arc he deserved, fully rounding him out and giving the diabolical doctor a happy ending all while proving that he makes movies better just by being in them.

5. Xu Wenwu

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

Shang-Chi would be a nearly perfect movie if not for one thing: It kills off one of the single greatest and most complex villains in the MCU for a CGI dragon battle. They managed to take two of the most infamous “Yellow Peril” characters in pop culture (Fu Manchu and the Mandarin) and gave him depth and complexity, his complicated relationship with his children driving the plot more than anything else. It’s a testament to how good the writing and how good Tony Leung’s performance is that he’s this high, because despite his death the impact on his children doesn’t disappear just because it’s time for CGI monsters. This more than makes up for how lame Guy Pearce Mandarin was, that’s for sure.

4. Ego

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Familial conflict is the cornerstone of many great villains, and Ego has that in spades. At first it seems like Marvel’s living planet has undergone adaptational kindness, with him genuinely coming across as a fun father figure to Peter, but that just makes the big twist hit even harder. Ego becomes even nastier retroactively, as on top of what he did to Peter’s mother and scores of his own children, the holiday special reveals Mantis is his child and he only kept her alive as a slave for her powers. He’s genuinely one of the nastiest, most twisted villains the MCU ever showed us, and he more than lives up to his name with his narcissistic plan to reshape the universe in his image. Kurt Russell absolutely knocked it out of the park with his performance.

3. Magneto

X-Men film series

Be it Sir Ian McKellan or Michael Fassbender, you could always count on one thing with Magneto: He’d be one of the most compelling parts of the film. Watch McKellan and Fassbender carry The Last Stand and Apocalypse, respectively, and see how this iconic anti-villain can make even the biggest turds watchable. And when the movie is genuinely good, such as X2, First Class, or Days of Future Past… That’s where the real fun comes in. Magneto is one of the single greatest characters ever created, and thankfully even with the spotty track record of the X-Men films it never felt like he wasn’t given his due.

2. Green Goblin

Spider-Man and Spider-Man: No Way Home

We can argue all day about whether or not his costume is stupid, but one thing that is utterly inarguable is that Willem Dafoe delivered the gold standard for hammy supervillains. Playing up the Goblin as something of a split personality, Dafoe can instantly switch from the sympathetic Norman to the cackling Gobby with ease, something really demonstrated by his return in No Way Home. Across two cinematic universes, Gobby proved himself to be Spidey’s greatest and most personal foe, and more importantly than that he proved to be an endless fountain of memes thanks to his insanely quotable lines. If you’re making a cackling, campy comic book movie villain, they are gonna have to try really hard to make it out of Gobby’s shadow.

1. Erik Killmonger

Black Panther

When I began making this list, there was never any question who number one was going to be. Of fucking course it was always gonna be Killmonger, a villain who is so cool, stylish, badass, and complex that he completely redeems the film’s awkward PS3 cutscene of a final battle thanks to his genuinely impactful death scene immediately after. He’s so good that when he shows up for a surprise appearance in Wakanda Forever he absolutely and completely eclipses how great Namor is and reminds us all why he was such a great villain with only a single scene. What’s most impressive, however, is that technically he did win in the end, being directly responsible for T’Challa dying as well as inspiring him during life to open up to the world and try and help black people around the world. Michael B. Jordan proves once and for all that whatever problems his role as Johnny Storm had, it wasn’t on him; the man is one of the best actors of our time.

#Psycho Analysis #villains #comic book superhero movie villains #DC #Marvel #comic books #list

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lostgirl1428 · 2 years

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Look….I’ve had this list for a while but I feel like sharing it with the internet.

Fictional Babes I’d 1000% fuck without hesitation (even if it means I die in the process) in no specific order. Feel free to kink shame me I’m well away of how questionable some people are on this list 😭😤

Freddy Krueger - Nightmare On Elm Street

The OG Nightmare on Elm Street films of course. With the god of nightmares himself, Robert Englund

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Negan - The Walking Dead

…Need I say more?

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Daryl Dixon - The Walking Dead

Well I mean of course.

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Merle Dixon - The Walking Dead

Look…Michael Rooker makes this list TWICE so leave me alone 😭

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Cassidy - Preacher

I love me a junkie Irish Vampire ❤️

(Also this tv show was a fucking riot…it is in fact my comfort show)

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Tulip O'Hare - Preacher

She's a sexy boss bitch and deserves so much better than Jesse

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The Comedian aka Eddie Blake - The Watchman

Was he a terrible person? Absolutely….but also I have daddy issues and JDM is god.

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Sayid Jarrah - Lost

I admit this is really random especially compared to others on the list but something about a professional torturer is a complete turn on for me 😤

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Dyson - Lost Girl

I mean can you blame me?

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Bo - Lost Girl

Well DUH mommy succubus yes please

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Kenzi - Lost Girl

My girl Kenzi, I would literally marry her 😭

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Tamsin - Lost Girl

look the entire cast from this show was hot as hell

also 100% ship her and Bo.

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Vex - Lost Girl

Look I know he's with Dyson's son but he's Bisexual and I would die for his snarky ass.

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Lucifer Morningstar -Lucifer

I don’t even need an explanation

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Mazikeen - Lucifer

I want her to stab me.

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Otis Driftwood - Devil's Rejects

One of them totally unhinged ones.

Is he a necrophiliac? Yes. Would he kill me? Absolutely.

But regardless.....

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Baby Firefly - Devil's Rejects

I love my crazy bitches

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Loki - MCU

I mean I'll take comic book Loki too but Tom Hiddleston is just... oof yes please.

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Yondu - MCU

Told you Michael Rooker made this list twice...

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Cable - Deadpool 2

SPECIFICALLY Josh Brolin because ✨Daddy✨

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Hawkeye - MCU

What can I say? I find archery sexy

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Wolverine - X-Men (Movieverse)

look as much as I hate the X-Men movies I cannot deny the sex appeal that is Hugh Jackman

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Last but OBVIOUSLY NOT LEAST

Nightcrawler aka Kurt Wagner - Marvel (All versions)

MINUS Kodi and Evolution because he's a LITERAL CHILD.

However, any and all comics, animated series (Minus Evolution) and I'll also take Alan Cumming's version as well.

I love this fuzzy elf with all my heart

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t0omanyfandoms · 3 months

Text

Hi lovely's

Here is my Master list so please read before sending any requests

Bucky barnes

Steve Rogers

Tony stark

Peggy

Doctor Strange

Bruce banner

Clint barton

Jefferson hatter

Merle dixon

Carl grimes

Daryl Dixon

Yondu udanta

Eddie Munson

Johnnie Guilbert

Jake webber

Colby Brock

Sam Golbach

Zuko

Sokka

Iroh... Yes uncle iroh... Y'all gotta hear me out okay

And maybe possibly some other requests if I can find photos & motivation for

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readordiebyemilyt · 3 years

Link

Yes, love this.

#dads #superheroes #yes yondu is on this list #but jefferson is the best #joe george #tor

3 notes · View notes

shyficwriter · 3 years

Text

Temporary Home: Chapter 16

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Guardians (With Yondu and Kraglin!)

Summary: Peter takes the ride into town as an opportunity to be extra annoying, but you also finally find out just how he got into space. The prank war continues. Will you finally declare Peter "The Prank Master," or has he finally met his match?

Previous Chapter here | Next Chapter Here Or click here to: Start From Beginning

Author’s Note: This is a long one! Also, for my records this chapter ends on day 29 of the Guardians living with reader. Enjoy!

Word Count: 7,661

Peter's face was still red by the time you finished pulling your boots on. He had just come out of the bathroom and stood near you as you got up from the bench. He had a strange look about his face and when you went to ask, "What?" he grabbed your wrist with a wet hand and said, "Don't ya hate when you pee on your hands?"

This, of course, was revenge for you embarrassing him just a few minutes prior.

Your expression turned murderous and you ripped your arm away. Was he serious? How dare he! What the hell was wrong with him!? Just as you were angrily saying, "I'm going to fucking kill you!" and absolutely looking like you'd actually follow through, Peter held up his hands and said through laughter, "It's a joke! It's just a joke! It's just water! I promise!"

You backed down slightly, anger still burning in your eyes. "You know I don't have to take you, right? Fury said I could take anyone who passes for human." Just then Kraglin walked by and you gestured to him. "I could just take him instead if you want to start out being a little shit."

Kraglin grinned at the two of you and, clearly seeing that Peter had managed to push your buttons already, said, "Nah. I can catch the next one," and continued on his way up the stairs.

You huffed in his direction before turning to Peter in frustration. "Just get in the car. And don't piss me off."

Peter gave a little mock-salute and followed you out.

You could have killed him on the ride into town. The annoyance was constant.

He started by turning up the radio and singly badly along with the songs, made worse due to the fact that most of which he didn't know the words to. Eventually you couldn't take it anymore and you shut the radio off.

He tried to turn it back on a bit later and you smacked his hand away, only able to do so now that your braced arm wasn't in a sling and you could now grip the wheel with both hands.

He then started asking, "Are we there yet?" about every minute. He knew you weren't close.

This was coupled with the classic, "I'm not touching you!" game. You almost didn't notice for the first five minutes, intent on ignoring him and keeping your eyes on the road. When you finally did notice and tell him to knock it off, well, you know what he responded with.

You were fuming when you finally pulled into the post office. You threw the car into park and angrily ordered him to sit quietly and promptly left him.

He was actually starting to wonder if maybe he should cool it for a bit. You did look pretty mad... probably still weren't over the whole fake pee on hands prank. Maybe he shouldn't go through with what he was considering next?

When you finished your business in the mail office and returned to the car you were actually surprised to find that he had behaved. You don't know what you had actually expected him to do- maybe get out and crouch beside the car to make you think he'd run off?- but no. He was still sitting right where you left him.

You get back behind the wheel and toss your mail on the dash, prepared to head to the grocery shop. Peter doesn't say anything.

The short ride over you were a little leery of just how quiet he was being. He was too quiet. When you pulled in park at the grocery lot you turned to give him a suspicious look.

"What?" he asked innocently, returning your gaze.

"You. What are you up to?"

"What ever do you mean?" He wore a face of innocence, but you knew better.

"The whole ride into town you didn't let up with all your annoying shit, now on the ride from the post office to here you act like a perfect angel. I don't trust it."

"Thought you could use a break is all, you seemed really cranky." A grin was starting to crack Peter's innocent façade. "You know... I think I know what might cheer you up..."

Your eyes narrowed. "Peter-" Whatever he intended, judging by his tone you knew it couldn't be good.

Before you could say more his hand darted out to connect with that spot above your knee, which of course made you spasm in your seat and cackle loudly. Whatever you had been expecting, for some reason you foolishly didn't consider that. You really should have though, considering how often you would now get teased with little pokes and squeezes. Unfortunately for you, a good portion of your guests were apparently an affectionate bunch... Or maybe they just liked to annoy you. You weren't sure which.

You smacked and pushed at his hand but he didn't let up. "Peter! Peter stop that this instant!" you scolded through your laughter.

"Come on, cheer up sour-puss!" he teased in a high voice, still squeezing rapidly into the muscle. "Being stuck with me isn't that bad."

"You little shit!" you cried, smacking at him again, your eyes closed tightly as you laughed and kicked to the best of your ability, trying your best not to accidentally lash out and hit the horn. You were effectively trapped by having a car as your surroundings. So unfair. "Stop it! Cut it out!"

Peter finally stopped and grinned at you as you caught your breath, chuckling when you punched him in the shoulder.

"You're such a brat!" you said, residual giggles still slipping out. However, you didn't seem quite as angry as you had been, so Peter counted it as a win. Maybe now you wouldn't be quite as cranky with him when you discovered the prank he had pulled on you. Honestly he was surprised you hadn't noticed before you sat down...

After a moment you spoke again. "Come on, let's get this over- aw shit."

"What?" Peter asked, confused by your sudden change of tone.

"You didn't bring those sunglasses with you this time, did you?"

"Oh..." Peter's eyes widened in realization. Not wanting to have to wait out in the car he thought to reason. "I think it'll be ok. I mean, It's been what- like 26 years since I went missing? And I wasn't even from this area of Earth so I really doubt anyone would recognize me-"

Your eyes widen as big as saucers. "Excuse me?"

"What?"

"Went missing??" Had you seriously heard him right? Did Fury know?Who were you kidding? Of course Fury knew. Fury knew everything.

"Oh... so you didn't know about that... Ha- well it's fine! Honest! I was just trying to let you know it'll be fine if I don't wear some lame disguise like sunglasses-"

"That's not why I had insisted on the sunglasses! It was for any possible undercover aliens looking for you! I didn't know you'd be on the missing persons bulletin!"

Peter could see you were stressed. That wasn't good in his opinion. You'd be no fun to pick on if you were worried, so he tried to smooth it over. After all, it really was fine. "Look, everything's fine. Ok? I was on that list for missing people, Fury told me that shortly after we arrived, but we talked about it and he made sure I was wiped from it just in case."

You relaxed a little, sitting back in your seat. You turn to look at him again. "Twenty-six years... that means you were, what? Ten?"

"Eight," he corrected.

"That's not better." you reply, and then a realization hit you. "Wait- is that how you got into space? Were you literally abducted by aliens?" Yes, you might have been aware of aliens due to your employment by SHIELD, but from the little you had seen of and about them you had come to assume that the whole "alien abduction" thing was a myth crazy people talked about. They just barely came here, let alone had use for random Earth people.

"Like I said, it's a long story." Peter answered, "We should probably get going." he cracked his door open and gestured with his head towards the store.

Remembering yourself, you give a half nod and exit your vehicle so you could complete the shop visit.

As the two of you walked towards the shop you speak up. "Is it alright if I ask what happened? You don't have to answer if it's a bad memory or anything. I'm just curious about... you know..."

"What?"

"Like, you must have had a family? Now that you're here, why haven't you tried to find them?"

Peter looked like he was searching for the right words. "It's kinda complicated."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"No, it's fine." he said as the two of you entered the shop.

You grabbed a trolley and looked at him to see if he would continue, but hoping that he wouldn't feel you were pressuring him.

After a moment he did continue. "My mom died right before it happened. Literally minutes before." Seeing the look on your face and realizing what you might be assuming he clarified. "It was cancer. She'd been sick a long time."

"I'm so sorry." You say, leading him towards the haircare section of the store to start knocking things off your list.

He shook his head, trying to vanish the memory of her lying in that hospital bed. "Yeah... me too." He sighed and went on to say how when it happened he was upset, and angry. She was gone just like that and he didn't know what to do. So he just ran. He ran outside the hospital and then just collapsed on the lawn. Next thing he knew there was the bright light of a spaceship right above him, and it took him.

"It just randomly came by took you? For no reason?" You ask, approaching the hair wash section and deciding on a conditioner that you thought Gamora might like the scent of. You turned to Peter for his opinion and he pointed out a lavender scented one before answering about the motives of his abductors.

"No, they had a reason" he said, "Turned out my father was this celestial being and sent them to fetch me. But of course I didn't know that at the time. Like I said, mom had cancer. In her brain. So when she said my dad was this 'angel' composed of 'pure light', of course no one believed her. They just thought it was the tumor."

"Oh. Wow." You didn't know what to say to that as the two of you were now walking over to the moisturizers. Eventually you settled on, "So you've been with your dad then?" Just as you finished that sentence something clicked in your brain, but you thought for sure it couldn't be right, could it? "Wait, do you mean Yondu? He's your father?"

Peter laughed. "Are you serious? Drax thought the same thing. "

You frowned slightly, picking out a decent smelling lotion and dropping it into the basket. "Well, I have heard him refer to you as "my boy" at least a couple times, and you just said your dad was alien. I think you could see why I might now make that connection there."

Peter smiled softly, seeming lost in thought. "Yeah, yeah I guess. But not exactly. You see, Yondu was the guy my father hired to fetch me. He was supposed to take me to him, but he didn't. He kept me."

You gave Peter a confused look as you led the way towards the razors. You knew from Peter's last story that Yondu had been the captain of a faction of space-pirates called Ravagers before joining the Guardians, but this bit was news to you. Apparently Peter was with the Ravagers before the Guardians of the Galaxy, but why had Yondu kept him? Why not just give him to his father?

Peter continues. "I know what you're thinking, but like I said, it's complicated. He kept me to protect me. 'Course, for the longest time he never told me that. Always said he kept me 'cause I was skinny and good for thieving."

"Protect you from... your father?" You asked. How bad must his father have been for a space pirate captain to decide the kid was better off joining the crew? You raised an eyebrow at him as you grabbed some decent disposable razors off the shelf. Upon second thought, you grabbed some refill-heads as well.

"Yeah. Remember how I told you about that time we saved the galaxy from Ronan, and I was able to touch the Infinity stone without immediately dying?"

"Yeah?" You now led the way towards the DIY section. You knew it was unlikely, but hopped that maybe the shop carried some filler so you might finally repair that chip in the wall above the back door from where Yondu killed that spider for you. You would have already fixed it by now, but the tub of filler you did have was long dried up. Kraglin asked about it the other day, stating he didn't remember that being there when they arrived, and you passed it off as the house being old, unwilling to admit what had actually happened.

"Well, word spread about that pretty fast because I shouldn't have been able to do that." Peter continued, following beside you. "My father caught word of a man who was able to hold an infinity stone and live, and knew it had to be me, so he tracked me down."

"And that was... bad?" You asked, turning into your desired aisle.

"Not at first. At first it was cool. He took us back to his planet- that's where we met Mantis- and this next part is really gonna blow your mind, the whole planet was him."

"What? How does that even work?"

"Honestly, I don't even fully get it, but like I said, he was a celestial. He just was the planet. The guy who we met was just like this... avatar version he made of himself to travel and stuff. He had like these magic powers, and he taught me how to use them... kinda."

"Wait, so you have special powers?" you ask, "I had no idea." You were so surprised by these revelations that you almost missed the small tubs of repair filler the shop did carry, but recovered and placed one in the basket.

Peter rubbed the back of his head. "Well, not exactly. Not anymore. You see, they came from his celestial genes- it's the only reason I was able to hold onto that infinity stone and live- but anyway, I don't have them anymore. I um, I kinda had to... kill him. And when he died so did the light, so I'm just a regular Terran now."

"What?!" you gave him a very confused look. "Did you just say you killed your own dad?" You tried to keep your voice low. You had been lucky to avoid too many other shoppers during this conversation, but just then a couple of boys walked by. You eyed them, but they were lost in their own conversation and didn't seem to have heard or cared about what you had said. You continued towards the cleaning supplies, remembering you were dangerously low on various cleaners for the bathrooms.

"Again, complicated," Peter replied. "He turned out to be not such a good dude. Long story short, He had this plan to expand and make the entire universe him, like he would literally be the only thing left, but he needed another celestial to help him- that's where I came in. Apparently he had a butt-load of other kids, but I was the only one that actually inherited the celestial gene. Well, obviously I had doubts about his whole plan. I mean, all my friends would be gone, for one." He chuckled. "But he was... quite convincing. I don't even think I could describe the things he showed me..." He trailed off, and then seemed to remember himself a moment later. "Anyway, eventually he told me he was the one who put the tumor in my mom's head and that finally snapped me out of it."

You were taken aback. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry. That's awful!"

He shrugged. "Nah. Don't be. That guy was a jackass. I mean, who names themself "Ego" anyways?"

"Probably the type of person who wants to literally be the center of the universe," you quipped.

Peter chuckled and nudged you in the shoulder, apparently appreciative of the joke. "Yeah. I suppose it probably was fitting for him..." he stared off for a moment. "Anyway, it's funny that you thought that Yondu was my father, because all that happening made me realize that Yondu had actually kinda been my dad all along."

You give him a quizzical look as the two of you reach the aisle you were looking for, and he just grins knowingly in return. "Complicated?" you say, sure that that would be his answer.

"Yes and no." Peter answered, and then just let the silence linger.

After a bit you asked him. "You said Ego had other children? Do you know what ever happened to them?"

Peter frowned. "He killed them. They didn't have what he needed, so he just killed them. There was a whole cavern on the planet filled with their bones."

You only managed a soft, "Oh." You felt your stomach twist. What kind of bastard would kill their own- You shook that thought away, telling yourself to compose yourself. Not now.

"Yeah. I know. Pretty dark." Peter said, his tone obvious he was trying his best to keep it light. He didn't say anything, but he saw something in you change a little when he revealed Ego just murdered his own kids like it was nothing, and he remembered a previous conversation he had with you about that job you had in Romania and part of him wished he had lied just then. He tried to steer the conversation in a happier direction for both of your sakes. He didn't like to think about it either. "Apparently at some point Yondu had found out what Ego had been doing with all those kids he had him fetch, and that's why he kept me. I think I turned out alright, all things considered." He nudged you and gave you a wide cheeky grin.

You couldn't help but grin as you responded, "I dunno... depends if any of that contributed to how annoying you are." You located the toilet cleaners and plunked a couple bottles in the trolley.

"Hey!" Peter mock-pouted, but he was glad that the mood had been lifted again.

The two of you walked in silence towards the tub cleaners when Peter suddenly says, "Oh hey, you dropped something."

You stop and look around for whatever might have fallen out of the trolley, asking him what you had dropped.

Peter grinned and said, "Your speed."

You roll your eyes at him. You weren't sure if you were more annoyed at the lameness of the joke, or the fact that you fell for it. "Really? You're gonna start that again?"

"Yup." Peter grinned.

You just shook your head and continued down the aisle to grab some disinfectant wipes, but little did he know you had a trick up your sleeve.

The wipes were just before the air fresheners and after you grabbed the wipes and were walking past you picked up a refill at random and said, "Oh hey, you should smell this."

"Nice try, I'm not falling for that." Peter said.

"Falling for what?" you ask innocently.

"I bet it smells like crap, you're just trying to get me back for the other day."

You roll your eyes dramatically. "It says on the package it's 'Blossom and Breeze.' Here," you smell it yourself to prove to him it wasn't nasty. "See? You're so paranoid. They wouldn't sell these if they smelled bad." You offer the item back to him with an unimpressed look.

Seeming mostly convinced he hesitantly takes the item from you and slowly brings it up to sniff it. Then he looks confused. "I don't smell anything?"

You knew he wouldn't, it was encased in plastic, but that wasn't the prank. "Oh, you might need to breathe deeper, they put the scent in the cardboard bit so people can test it before they buy it, it can be a little faint." This was a blatant lie. Sure, this could have made a decent prank on it's own, but it still wasn't the prank you were going for. It was more of a distraction until that group of pretty young women you clocked entering the aisle earlier when grabbing the wipes had made their way close enough, which they would in 3... 2... 1...

You snatched the item away from a now very confused Peter.

"These don't go in your mouth! How many times do I gotta tell you!?" you ask, acting exasperated.

Peter opened his mouth but seemed at a loss for words. Then he noticed the handful of pretty women walking by who were now staring at him and giggling to each other behind their hands as you said, "They're not gonna taste like how they smell, we've been over this!"

His cheeks started to redden and he turned his attention from the departing group of young ladies to you, his expression switching from wide-eyed and embarrassed to unamused, having now understood what you did.

You were giggling now and he narrowed his eyes at you. "Not cool, dude!"

You tossed the item back on the shelf and, still giggling, said, "But it sure was funny."

Peter just grumbled and followed you to the grocery section.

You spotted some brownie mix and asked him if he thought his friends might like to try brownies.

"Probably. And if they don't like them, more for us." He punctuated the sentence by taking the box from your hand and plopping it in the trolley, making you shake your head and giggle at him.

You then grabbed the couple snacks that had been requested as well as a few things you'd enjoy, including some ice-cream since you found the guys had eaten all of it when you returned from your last trip into town.

Just as you were dropping the ice cream in the trolley Peter decided that would be time for his revenge. There were several people about doing their shopping in that particular aisle when he suddenly said out loud, "Hey, is that rash still contagious?"

You looked at him, mortified, and you noticed the people start to quietly but quickly clear out of the aisle. You give him a glare, but just sigh and say, "Well played."

"I thought so." Peter replied, looking proud of himself.

"Still not 'The Master.'"

"We'll see," he chuckled.

You finished up the trip, and headed home. Gratefully, Peter wasn't nearly as annoying on the return trip.

You supposed the whole trip could have gone worse. It really was too bad you didn't get a chance to go alone though. You might have been able to grab some glitter for... nefarious purposes. Though, you supposed you could always order it online. Oh well, at least you managed to pick up some jelly. He wouldn't be suspicious of jelly... until you used it against him, that is.

***

It wouldn't be until you had been home for a little bit that you would discover what prank Peter had pulled on you in the car. Or rather, Kraglin discovered it.

You were getting a glass of water when Kraglin cleared his throat and awkwardly asked you why there was blue tape on your bottom.

You raised and eyebrow and reached back while Rocket snickered and teased Kraglin, asking him why he had been looking at your ass.

Kraglin began to stutter. "I-I wasn't! It's just- The tape is bright blue! Her pants are black! How was I not supposed to see it!?" He was blushing now and decided to just leave the room. Why did the rat have to be such a dick?

You peeled the strip of blue tape off your butt and looked at it with a half frown before looking up at Peter who was standing with Rocket and grinning. "You have anything to do with this?" you ask accusingly. Who were you kidding? It's not like you just happened to sit on blue tape. Of course he had something to do with it, but how?

Peter grinned wider then pulled the rest of the roll out of one of his pockets. "I put a piece of this sticky side up in your car seat before you got out of the Post Office." He then tossed the roll to you. "Found it in one of those drawers," he said, pointing to the drawers behind you.

"I see you fancy yourself the Artful Dodger," you say in annoyance to his confession that he had knicked the tape with the sole purpose of annoying you. You also realized this meant you had walked around the whole shop with blue tape on your bottom. Well, you supposed there were worse things... like what you were sure to do with that blue dye tonight.

"I have no idea what that means." Peter replied.

You roll your eyes at him, but not altogether surprised he didn't get the reference. "Nevermind." you say, tossing the tape back in the drawer. "Childish..."

Peter just chuckled and left the kitchen.

***

If you hadn't been set on using that food dye to prank Peter the past few days, you definitely were now.

Sometime after discovering the blue tape, you went upstairs and thought you might put one of your sticky notes to use. You stuck with the classic, 'kick me', sign, and thought it'd be a good idea to sneak up behind and jump-scare him and use that as a diversion to stick it to his back. It worked as expected.

It took him less than half an hour to find it. Or rather, Mantis found it, and asked him why he had a sign telling people to kick him on his back. She plucked the sign from his shirt and he turned to see what she was talking about. Taking the sticky note from her, he frowned in annoyance for becoming victim to one of the oldest tricks in the book, and then shouted your name.

You, of course, didn't answer. Just smiled behind your book in your room, of course not realizing that your prank had technically failed.

In revenge, Peter decided to bring up a video on YouTube he came across the previous day titled, "Broken TV screen 1 hour" and set it to play on full screen. Then he went to fetch you.

***

You were in the kitchen when Rocket startled you by jumping up to climb up your back without warning. He had managed to climb all the way up to your head when you let out a startled yelp and asked, "What are you doing??" as you jerked from the unexpected sensation of being climbed on.

"Hold still, will ya? Just needed a boost up to reach up to this cabinet, don't get your panties in a bunch," he said with half a chuckle, balancing himself on your head as he opened the cupboard.

"You never needed one before now!" you said, irritated. That was the cupboard you kept the glasses in, and you'd seen him get up there just fine plenty of times without needing a human ladder.

"Eh. You were there," he said, amusement in his voice. It was seemingly clear he had only done this to annoy you.

"Will you hurry up and get down!" you said, trying to keep the giggles out of your voice as his tail was flitting over your ear.

"What, ya got somewhere to be?" he asked sarcastically.

"Yes! Anywhere without a rac- a furry little beast sitting on my head!" you replied through gritted teeth. You were still trying- and mostly failing- to hide your giggles. Yes, maybe you could have told him to cut it out with the tail twitching, but you didn't want to admit that it tickled. Last thing you needed was to reveal a weakness for the raccoon to exploit.

Rocket heard how you almost called him a raccoon, but let it slide because you stopped yourself. Mostly. He'd allow you to live, however, he stayed up there a couple moments more, pretending to take his time deciding on a cup and grinning as he continued flitting his tail over your ear. He knew exactly what he was doing. The little shit.

He finally grabbed a cup and closed the cupboard, teasingly scolding, "Hey, hold still!" when his tail "accidentally" brushed your neck on the way down and you jerked your head to the side from the sensation, and then twitched when he hit a particularly sensitive area of your shoulder blade on his descent. That one actually had been an accident, but he still logged it away for later. Knowing Peter's tickle spots had proved useful as a payback method, he was sure yours would too if needed.

Rocket had just touched down on the floor when Peter sheepishly came in to tell you to come into the sitting room because he needed to show you something. Having a feeling it wasn't going to be good, you sighed and followed him, leaving the raccoon behind.

He was dismayed, however, when your only response to seeing the "broken" TV was to just sigh and say flatly, "Well, I hope you enjoy reading then. Like I told you before, I'm not replacing it."

He blinked. "Wait- you're not mad??" This was not the reaction he expected. He was sure you'd yell at him. You yelled at Rocket when he spilled tomato sauce all over the kitchen, surely you would have had a similar reaction now?

You just stare at him. "While I'm frustrated that you can't respect other people's property enough not to break it, I barely use it anymore since I'm always- well, I was almost always gone for work. Soon as you guys leave it'll be the same. No sense in rewarding bad behavior by getting another for you guys to use when I doubt I'll be using it much once you leave."

Peter rolled his eyes and picked up the controller. "Ugh, you're no fun!" he complained, turning off the video and revealing the TV wasn't actually broken.

"Wait, so that was a prank?" You say in realization.

"Well, yeah!" Peter said in frustration. "It was supposed to be!" Honestly, he was hoping you world have been mad. It would have been funny to reveal the lack after you lost it. But no, of course you would have just hit him with some version of "I'm not mad, just disappointed."

"You know, for someone who keeps claiming to be 'the prank master,' your pranks are kinda lame." You grinned at him. Sure, maybe not all his pranks were lame- the broken screen on might have been a good one had he done it to anyone else, but you'd still say they were to annoy him.

"Oh yeah?" Peter said with a mischievous grin before lunging forward to aim a squeeze-y tickle attack on your sides, making you let out a squeak as you jumped back and smacked him out of reflex.

Giggling, you scold him for being a child and turn to head out of the room, only to bump into Kraglin who just said, "Hi there," before tweaking your ribs.

You laugh and push him away, telling them that they played too much before heading upstairs.

The two men watch you leave and then share a grin. Little did you know, the TV had only been Peter's diversion prank. Not the one that finally made you fully resolve to use the food dye on him.

***

To get him back for both the TV prank and the tickle attack you decided to take a thumbtack from your desk and use it to poke a hole in a can of fizzy drink that you knew only you and he really ever drank. You placed the hole near the top so that when he took a drink it would dribble down onto his shirt and then positioned the can in the fridge towards the front so that he'd grab that one first. It was a clear drink, so you were sure it wouldn't stain. You weren't a complete asshole.

This consideration could be considered ironic, considering what you'd do to him that night.

You grinned from your room when you heard him loudly cursing your name sometime later.

To get you back for that he made use of a few pieces of macaroni pasta he found in the pantry. He went upstairs and placed them under the toilet rim so that when you sat down the sound of them crunching would startle you. It wasn't a foolproof plan, but he knew you were reading upstairs, and most everyone else was downstairs, so he rolled the dice that you'd be the next person to use that toilet.

Awhile later he heard you shout his name in frustration from upstairs and he chuckled in victory. And no, this still wasn't the prank that sealed his fate, although that one was currently in progress...

Sometime later you were in your room on your laptop doing some research and contemplating what a suitable prank might be to get Peter back for the macaroni thing when Mantis came into the room to retrieve something. You switch away from the tab you were in researching tunnel maintenance to one you had open of tumblr and offer her a short greeting.

She returned the greeting and went about her business behind you for a couple minutes.

Then, out of the blue, you felt her fingers skitter up your side. You nearly jump out of your skin from both the startle and the ticklish sensation and a startled laugh escaped your throat as you jerked away in your seat and squeaked out a giggly, "Mantis! What are you doing?!"

She stopped tickling and just giggled in response before jogging out of the room.

You stared after her before returning to your work with a shake of your head. 'Awfully playful bunch tonight,' you thought.

***

A bit later you decided to go out back for some fresh air. When you do, you notice Yondu already out there, leant against the stone of the house and just looking at the clouds pass by.

Not wanting to disturb him you just nod in his direction and say, "Hey," before walking by towards the garden. He returns your greeting and leaves you to it. Or so it seemed.

You reach the garden and stand there in the peace and quiet, glancing over the plants for any sign of insect damage. It's not too long, however, before Yondu walks up behind you and shouts, "Boo!"

You jump right out of your skin and turn to face him. You frown, but before you can ask him what the hell that was for, he starts to tickle your stomach. You laugh out a protest, but he only switches to tickling your ribs instead. You laugh some more and latch onto his wrists to push him away and he relents. Residual giggles still coating your words you scold him. "Jeeze! What was that for?!"

Yondu just grins at you like he was privy to some joke you weren't in on, shrugs, and turns to head back inside without explanation.

You watched him go, beginning to wonder what had gotten into everyone.

***

Turned out it would be Drax who would spill the beans on Peter's prank.

You were minding your own business, washing the dish you had just used for your supper, when you are rudely interrupted by Drax spidering his fingers over your ribs, causing you to laugh out loud and drop the dish in the sink. Luckily it didn't break, but you quickly turn off the tap and spun around to scold him and ask what the big deal was.

You knew something was up now. Rocket might have done it on accident. Peter and Kraglin- well, they just routinely did stuff like that to mess with you. Yondu could also fall in the category of "just did it to mess with you." Mantis- she was playful and it wasn't out of the realm of normal for her to randomly decide to do that just to make you laugh.

Drax, however, though friendly, hadn't shown himself to be the type to just randomly up and decide to tickle someone, namely you, without reason, or ever.

And all of them deciding to do it in one afternoon? No. Something was up.

Drax looked almost confused by your annoyance. "Well the note-"

Your eyes narrowed. "What note?"

"The one on your back."

You quickly reach behind you and feel a piece of paper. Peter. You rip it off and look at it, but find you can't read it. It was written in some alien text. "What's this?" you ask Drax.

"It's the note you taped on your back?" He answers, confused.

"I didn't put this there! I can't even read this! What does it say?" You hand it out towards him, but he doesn't take it.

Instead a look of realization comes over his face and he says. "Oh! This must be one of Peter's practical jokes! Haha! That's a good one. No wonder you looked so surprised!"

"Drax-" you say, your tone frustrated.

"What's going on here?" Gamora asked, having just moments prior walked in on the scene. She walked up to the two of you, concerned she might need to stop a fight before it began. You'd never be able to take on Drax, but she could almost see you trying if he made you angry enough.

You thought that maybe she'd be more help. "Could you tell me what this says? Apparently Peter taped it to my back."

Gamora took the paper and read it. Then she rolled her eyes and huffed a short laugh. "This note reads, 'tickle me.'" It was indeed written in Peter's handwriting, but of all the things he could have written, at least this was innocent enough.

You look up to the ceiling, unamused. You meet her gaze again and say, "Thank you, though respectfully, your boyfriend is a brat."

Gamora smiled. "I'm aware."

You then start towards the frontmost doorway of the kitchen, dish forgotten in the sink, and yell, "PETER! I'm gonna kick your ass!"

This was then followed by the sound of Peter laughing, the sound of running footsteps, and then the sound of the front door opening and slamming shut.

You stop in your pursuit. "Coward." you mutter.

You knew you might be able to catch him, but decided there was better things you could do with your time. Like refine your plan of counter-attack. You change course and head upstairs to lie in wait.

Unfortunately for Peter, his running away ended up giving you the perfect opportunity to strike.

***

Peter spent his time outside walking about the property and listening to his Zune, which he luckily had in his pocket when he fled from the house. He was almost surprised you didn't try to track him down, but he brushed it off, satisfied with his prank and how well it had apparently worked/ how long it took you to realize what he'd done.

He knew it was bold to try and get you back with basically the same prank you had just attempted to pull on him, and so that's why he paid Rocket to pretend like he was climbing on you to reach something so he could be the one to plant it on you. You would have absolutely suspected Peter if he came patting a sign on your back right after you had just pulled that prank on him. The other pranks he pulled were mostly just to cover his tracks. And because it was too fun not to pull them.

It was getting dark by the time he came back in and was late enough that everyone else had apparently already gone to bed as no one was downstairs. He was getting pretty tired himself and almost considered skipping showering that night, but decided against it. Big mistake for him.

Once he got upstairs and gathered his things to go shower he headed for the bathroom. Upon getting closer to the door you emerged from the room and seemed to jump back, startled to see him.

Peter snickered. "Did I scare you?"

You roll your eyes and turn towards your room. "No," you answer.

"Uh huh, sure." He grinned smugly.

"Oh, just go wash your stinky ass, already." you call back as you walk towards your room.

Peter gasped in mock-offense. "I'll let you know my 'stinky ass' smells like a pretty flower!" he joked.

You turn back at your doorway and retort with, "A corpse flower, maybe."

Peter scrunches up his face. "That's not a thing. You just made that up!"

"No, it's totally a thing. Look it up," you respond, laughing. You shut your door before he can respond further.

He shakes his head and enters the bathroom, muttering, "That's so not a thing."

***

You stayed up to hear the aftermath, and it didn't take too long.

Maybe ten minutes later you hear Peter curse your name, followed by, "What did you do?!"

You couldn't help yourself. You stand up to go peak out your door, biting your lip to hold back giggles. When you look out you see that Peter is now standing outside the bathroom, and that his outburst had also prompted the others to look out their doors as well. Kraglin was the first to start laughing.

The prank went better than you might have hoped. Peter only had a towel around his waist, allowing you to see that he was stained in an uneven coat of blue. Most of it was around his head, chest, and shoulders. It seemed to get lighter the further down his body it went, but it was more than enough to satisfy you. You hadn't been fully certain it would work.

When Peter didn't come back until after most everyone had gone to bed, you realized you had the perfect opportunity to carry out the prank. You did still have to wait until everyone else had finished showering though. You didn't want anyone get caught in the crossfire.

You waited for the second you heard him come back inside, just in case, and then you made your way into the bathroom with the vial of food gel. You unscrewed the shower head from its hose, squirted the whole vial in the head portion, then carefully screwed it back on. You were sure he'd take his shower before bed like always and felt safe to boobie-trap the shower head now since everyone else had already washed up for bed.

You did see his bottle of shower gel in the bath as you set up the prank and realized in hindsight that you could have just put the food dye in there instead so you wouldn't have needed to time everything so perfectly. On the other hand, you also didn't quite want to ruin his whole bottle of soap, so it was probably best you went for the shower head method instead.

Either way, it didn't disappoint.

You bit back laughter as you said, "Feeling a little... blue, there, Peter?"

He shot a look at you and responded with, "You massive turd! What did you do?!"

You feel Mantis come to look over your shoulder and she starts giggling at the sight of Peter. "Did you play a practical joke?" Mantis asks you. "That's so funny!"

Peter looks like he's about to storm over to you when Drax can be heard saying, "See! I knew Yondu was his father! Quill's finally starting to grow into his color!"

You couldn't tell if Drax was joking or not, but his comment started off a new round of giggles from Mantis, Kraglin, Rocket, and little Groot.

Peter just glared at him.

Yondu was standing next to Kraglin in the doorway of their room looking both contemplative and sleepy.

"Hey, Quill," Yondu said, getting Peter's attention. "Remember how ya rigged those dye packs up in my dresser drawers as a boy? Looks like ya finally got someone to give ya a taste of your own medicine." With that he made a sleepy retreat back to bed. His comment earned a laugh from Gamora, which made Peter pout.

A slight blush over Peter's cheeks appeared violet through the blue dye. He looked at you again and said, "You're so gonna get it!"

This of course prompted you to quickly usher Mantis back so you could shut the door and flick the lock, laughing as you did so.

It was totally worth it.

#gotg #gotg fanfic #gotg fanfiction #guardians of the galaxy #x reader #yondu udonta #peter quill #starlord #pranks #rocket raccoon #mantis #kraglin obfonteri #drax the destroyer

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colormeyondublue · 3 years

Text

First fic ever! Honest feedback time!

This is my first ever fan fiction and I want your complete honesty. If you love it, great! If you hate it, that’s totally fine! If you have any tips or suggestions for a first time writer let me know!

Secrets: Yondu x Reader

A/u where Yondu survived Ego, and the guardians are still aboard the quadrant....

For a couple months now, Mantis could tell something was wrong with her best friend. You were always so cheery and up-beat. You would never tell her what was bothering you, no matter how much she asked. This was completely unlike you because you always told Mantis everything. She wanted to know what was making you feel and act so weary and tired. You seemed so stressed and the others started to notice too. Anytime someone would ask what was bothering you, you would just shrug it off and make something up. But the excuses were getting old.

“Come on y/n, I bet you would feel so much better if you just got it off your chest.” Peter poked you in the side as he bugged you about it for what felt like the millionth time. “Plus, I’m just super curious now. You’ve been sulking for weeks.”

“Just leave me alone Peter!” You snapped. You winced at your words and then took a deep breath. He was just trying to help. It’s not his fault you felt this way. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m just dealing with something personal right now, and I would prefer to do it on my own.”

You heard those signature clunking boots come through the doorway behind you, “Do what on yer own?” Yondu asked with his hands on his hips and a quizzical look on his face.

Yondu and Kraglin were still hanging out on the Quadrant with the Guardians since the events with Ego. They were in the process of getting a new ship and a new crew after Yondu blew their old crew to all hell.

“Nothing. It’s absolutely nothing, Yondu.” You were irritated. Yondu was the one person you didn’t want to push away, but you felt like you had no other choice. You tried to push past him and leave the room, but his large hand caught your shoulder.

He looked you dead in the face, and you turned your eyes from him. You couldn’t keep your knees in check if you caught those crimson eyes for too long. His voice was low, “Hey, we don’t do solo missions and we don’t work alone. Ya got something ya have to do, ya take someone with ya. Ya already know that.”

“This isn’t about some mission.” You kept your stare at the floor between your feet as you continued. “I’m not going anywhere, just - leave me alone.” You pulled your shoulder away and quickly returned to your bunk.

You walked into the cabin that you and Mantis shared, throwing yourself onto the bottom bunk in a huff. You let out a long sigh with your face in the pillow. You were too emotional to think straight. You’ve never felt so many conflicting emotions at once and it was driving you insane! If you didn’t vent soon, you’d explode. Nervousness, happiness, guilt...the list goes on. Nervous, because Yondu gives you butterflies to which the likes couldn’t be described. Happy, because you get to spend every single day around him...but on the other hand you feel guilty because you don’t want to put anyone in a weird position. He’s Basically Peter and Kraglin’s dad! His age didn’t bother you one bit, but you certainly didn’t want to ruin any family dynamics going on around the ship. You could accept the truth in your head, but saying it out loud was a whole other matter. The truth was, you had fallen in love. Stupid, annoying, nerve wracking, inconvenient, love. Everything about this situation was so messed up.

Part of you wanted to just give in and fall straight into the arms of the man you’d fallen for. The other half of you was screaming at you to keep your mouth shut. So far, the screaming side of you has been winning. You honestly didn’t think he would return your feelings, and you genuinely thought he was way out of your league. He was brave, strong, smart, cunning, and downright gorgeous. You were short, clumsy, a little curvy, and the weakest of the team. The only thing you had going for you (and the only reason you were able to join the team) was your incredible shooting abilities. Back on Terra, you were super talented with firearms. The transition from guns to blasters wasn’t too bad. You knew Terran guns inside and out. You were definitely a good shot, and you weren’t afraid of anything - except maybe your feelings for the Centaurian on board. Over your time with the guardians you got really good with intergalactic weapons, with some help from Rocket of course.

“Y/n..........Y/N!”

You jumped out of your thoughts, sat up in your bunk and looked frantically at Mantis who was eagerly trying to get your attention. “Are you okay?” She asked with a curious, yet concerned, expression on her face.

“Ugh, yes, Mantis. I’m fine. For the thousandth time, I’m just fine.”

“I don’t believe you. Something is wrong, and you leave me no choice. You mean a great deal to me, and I need to help. I am very sorry, but I feel I have to do this.”

Before you could get another word in, Mantis had her hands gripped around your wrist. Just as you began to pull away, her antennae glowed their bright yellow light and her eyes burst open to look at you.

“Mantis, please, you are my best friend in this entire galaxy. Probably in the entire universe - you cannot tell anyone!”

She stared at you, wide eyed. She couldn’t believe what she felt. So many emotions at once. It was such a surprise! Regardless, she was very excited for you.

“Y/n, this is so exciting! It is happy news. But, also confusing. You feel so many things. Why must this be a secret?”

“Because!” You shouted, a little louder than you intended. “Mantis, this isn’t what you think. If this gets around it could jeopardize the entire team. He may not feel the same way I do, and that would be a humiliating disaster. Look, if it helps, all you have to do is wait until Yondu and Kraglin are able to leave with their own ship and crew, and then once that happens you can shout it to the stars. Deal?”

A low, raspy voice travels through the doorway interrupting your conversation, “so, what happens when Kraglin and I get our own ship and leave?”

You and mantis snap your heads toward the door with nervous expressions. Yondu’s presence and voice sends a chill down your spine. Butterflies are bursting into a frenzy in your stomach. You both just stare at him, completely unsure of what to say.

“Well?!” He boomed. “Why ‘ave ya been acting so fidgety ‘round me lately? And wha’s sis ‘bout waiting fer me and Kraglin ta leave?”

Mantis looked at you, then back at Yondu, and back at you again. “Y/n, you know I care for you very much, and you are my best friend, but I think this is something you two need to talk about.” With that, she ducked past Yondu and fled the room.

You stood up and yelled at her as she ran, “THANKS BESTIE! I’LL GET RIGHT ON THAT!”

You turned to look at Yondu, who was still sporting that classic scowl he wears all the time.

“What?” You snapped. You seriously hated being so crass with him, but building walls was your specialty, and it was the only way to protect this weird little family you’d grown to love. If Yondu ever found out how you felt, it could all come crashing down. Not only could you lose him, but everyone else too.

He eyed you suspiciously, “Ya know, I only known you for a coupl’a months, and you don’t seem right. Mind tellin’ me what that’s ‘bout?”

“No.” You said flatly. “I have nothing to tell.” Heat was rising to your cheeks as you lied right through your teeth.

“Ya lyin’. You’s a bad liar ya know it?”

“I’m not lying.”

“Fine, if ya won’t tell me, I guess I’ll go pry the information I need outta poor little ol’ Mantis.”

“Leave her out of this! She doesn’t know anything.”

“Ah, so there is somethin’? I knew you was lyin’.”

You began to get defensive. “Yondu! UGH just stay out of it! I don’t need to tell you anything! I don’t want to tell you anything.”

Yondu turned his back on you as if he were going to leave. You felt a quick moment of relief until you heard the door slam shut and the bolt click into the door frame. Shit.

He turned to face you again, he took one large stride toward you, and now he was just inches from you. Those butterflies from earlier were trying to come up your throat, but it was getting so tight you could barely breathe. Your mouth was dry, and you swallowed hard to push them back down.

“Now, ya gonna tell me what I wanna know. Why’sit so important that Kraglin and I leave? You plannin’ somethin’?” His voice was intimidating and came out as a rumble. His words made you realize that, even after all this time with the Guardians, he still didn’t trust you completely.

You put on your best poker face and said, “No, I’m not planning something. Stop being paranoid. I would never hurt anyone on this team. Especially not you!” You froze at your last words. Damn it...maybe he won’t think too much into it.

His eyes blazed into yours for what felt like an eternity. You broke eye contact by rolling your eyes and scoffed, “Ugh - I don’t need this.” You tried to push past him and unlock the door, but it was no use. He caught your arm and pulled you back to him. His touch lit your entire body on fire.

“Ohhh ho, no ya don’t. You ain’t gettin’ outta this. Spill. Now. There ain’t no secrets on this ship.”

“But you aren’t the Captain here, Peter is.” You protested.

He shrugged and crossed his arms in front of his chest, “Okay, yer right. I’m not the Captain here. But I am the one you’ll hafta get pass’ to unlock the door.”

“You’re so infuriating! Why are you even on this?! Why is this so important to you?!” You could feel yourself getting more and more defensive.

“I don’t like secrets.” Yondu said matter of factly.

Of course he doesn’t, you thought to yourself. He just dealt with a pretty nasty mutiny a few months ago. With a deep breath you relaxed, “Look, all I’ll say is this: I am not planning anything, I am not going to hurt anyone, and you really don’t need to worry. I’m going through some personal stuff and, like I told Peter, I just want to deal with it on my own.”

He pondered your words for a moment. “Fine.”

“Fine?” You asked.

“Yep, fine.” He turned to unlock the door and walked out, leaving the door open behind him.

That was definitely weird. He let it go just like that. It wasn’t like him to just let stuff go. You decide to keep to yourself for the rest of the day, buried in your thoughts.

Yondu, however, was not done with this. He waited a while before making his move. After an hour or so he went to find Mantis. She was up front on the flight deck chatting with Drax.

“Mantis, come ‘ere. I need to ask you somethin’.”

She looked at the Centaurian hesitantly. She stood and walked to him, fiddling with her hands. “Did you and y/n talk about what’s been bothering her? It was such a surprise to me, but I am very happy! I hope she will be happy too. You are a very good man.” She said discreetly.

Yondu just stared at her, totally lost. Mantis picked up on his confusion rather quickly. She began to fidget and shift nervously.

She leaned in and whispered softly so Drax wouldn’t hear, “She did not tell you? Oh, no. Well, I cannot tell you anything. I am her best friend and she is mine and I will not tell!”

Yondu lowered his voice as well, “Look girl, I’m juss as worried about ‘er as you are. All I’m askin’ is for a way to help.”

Mantis thought his words over, and hesitated. “I don’t know...she seemed very intent that you never find out. If she didn’t tell you, I don’t know if I should.”

“Come on girl, ya wanna make sure she’s alright, right? I thought you’s was friends. Besides, I sorta have an idea of what’s goin’ on anyways. Juss tell me.”

Mantis’s big, innocent heart won her over and she decided it would be best to tell him if it meant helping you.

“Y/n has been experiencing very much stress and anxiety because she likes you. More than likes you, loves you. There is very much love and sexual desire. She is nervous, excited, and happy, and angry, and sad, and feels guilty too. I felt it all right before you walked in on us talking about her conflicting emotions. It was very confusing. I certainly would not like feeling that way. She is afraid that if you found out, you would reject her and she would have to leave. But...I don’t want her to leave.” Mantis slumped her shoulders at her last words.

Yondu didn’t know what to say. You liked him? Loved him even? But why all that other stuff too? He had to find out. No more games, no more secrets. “Thanks girl, ya been a big help.” Yondu patted her shoulder and walked from the flight deck back to the bunking area.

Yondu sighed and knocked softly on the door. “Mantis, I told you I’m not talking anymore! I’m fine!”

The door quietly opened. “It ain’t Mantis.” Yondu said gently. “Can I come in?”

You sit up on your bunk and look at him, “Sure, feel free to lock the door while you’re at it.” You said sarcastically.

He grinned over his shoulder at you, and locked the door. “You and I gotta talk.”

You begin to panic, it’s happening. He knows, Mantis squealed. “What did Mantis say? I told her not to say anything!”

“Don’t blame her, it ain’t her fault. I made her tell me.” Yondu said with a sly smirk. “So - now that it’s out there, let’s talk.”

The butterflies were back in an instant and about to burst out of your mouth, but what came out instead was just plain sad, “Let’s just get this over with. You’re gonna tell me you know how I feel about you, and then I’m gonna say ‘yeah it’s true, I do like you - like a lot’, and then you’re gonna say, ‘well, sorry, I don’t feel the same way’, and then I’ll take that rejection and shove it way down into the depths of my soul. After that, you turn around and walk out, and I start packing. Okay, great. Are we done?” You stood up and walked toward your trunk that contained your belongings to hide your humiliation and distract yourself.

Yondu looked at you with slight surprise on his face and chuckled. “Uhh no. That ain’t what I was gonna say at all. What I was gonna say was, ‘m flattered. Truly. Women ain’t exactly chasin’ after me these days. I’m just a washed up ravager. No crew, no ship, and I ain’t as young as I used ta be.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he continued. “A pretty young thing like yasself shouldn’t be pinin’ over someone like me. I ain’t worth it.”

You snapped your head his direction and almost yelled, “EXcUSe ME?! Not worth it?! Do you even hear yourself?”

The Centaurian stood there, dumbfounded as you continued.

“Do you have any idea who you are?!” Here it comes - word vomit. You couldn’t stop, it all came pouring out like dumping water out of a bucket. “You are Captain Yondu Udonta. The fiercest Captain of the 100 Ravager Clans! You’re known across the galaxy! You have more experience in open space navigation, survival, and armed combat than I could ever dream of having. You’re incredibly strong, and cunning, and more charming than any man I’ve ever met. AND you’re just plain handsome. Not to mention that arrow of yours! Don’t ever sell yourself short, because you are more than worth it....if anything, I’m not worth it!

Before you could continue your rant, Yondu quickly stepped toward you, whirled you around and pulled you away from your trunk to kiss you passionately. His lips were the perfect combination of rough, yet soft. He tasted strongly of whiskey, and his hands roamed over your body until one twisted its way into your hair and the other pulled you into him by your waist. The kiss was open mouthed, hot, needy, and absolutely perfect. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him back desperately and you felt a little chuckle fall from his lips as he pulled away, leaving you breathless.

“Ya have no idea how long I’ve been wantin’ ta do that.” He said.

“How long?”

“A few weeks after Peter introduced us. Ya started ta really prove yaself with this group a misfits, an’ the rest of ‘em really took to ya. Including me. I never imagined ya’d be fond of someone like me.”

You both stood in your bunk area holding one another closely. “Well, I have to be honest, I didn’t expect this to happen in a million years.” You admitted.

Yondu pushed you to arms length to get a better look at you. “Why’s that?” He asked.

“Well I mean....look at me? I’m just a dumb little Terran. I’m weak and I barely know anything about space. I’m so new to it all, and I don’t exactly fit in around here. You guys have such incredible abilities and talents. I’m just...me. Terran. What I wouldn’t give to be like...I don’t know, Gamora. She’s breathtakingly beautiful and a total badass! I’ve been contemplating going back to Earth anyway because I just feel like I’m holding you all back.”

Yondu looked over your body and face admiringly and said softly, “I am lookin’ atcha, and none ‘a that’s true. I’m glad your here, and I’m sure as hell glad we met.” He grinned down at you, showing off those gold capped teeth. He leaned in to kiss you once more, deeply.

He pulled away lightly to whisper on your lips, “I can show ya everythin ya ever wanted to see, and teach ya everythin ya ever wanted to learn about bein’ out here.

I ain’t lettin’ you get away.”

#yondu x reader #marvel #gotg #gotg fanfiction #fanfic #marvel fans #yondu udonta #yondu #reader #gotg vol 2 #sfw #short fiction #secrets

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lokigodofaces · 3 years

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list of variants/timelines i want to believe exist (and probably canonically do now)

this got long so i'm putting in a cut

a world where all of the events that happened in the Framework are real

bonus if the Framework world has their own version of the Framework that is like the real world in aos

Steve fell off the train, not Bucky. bc of the crap Zola did to Bucky, he survives in ice and well, and everything happens the same but Steve and Bucky's roles are reversed

Coulson doesn't bother to keep it a secret that he's alive, and the mcu is mainly just aos but with all the main characters as well (in other words, there's mainly good writing)

also in that world Steve and Bucky love Lola

Steve doesn't go back in time to live with Peggy

to all the people claiming aos isn't canon: Sylvie just made everything canon y'all. aos absolutely happened, and while i will argue that it happened in the main timeline, if you don't want to believe that it still happened in a timeline

Bucky didn't remember Steve soon enough, not until he killed Steve

Steve killed the Winter Soldier and didn't know who it was until he removed the mask

Hydra didn't hunt down Jiaying and by extent Daisy, so Daisy was raised by Jiaying and Cal who are not crazy bc they didn't have the same experiences they did in the main timeline

Thor never takes the others to Jotunheim, so Loki never learns he is Jotun

Fitz didn't survive almost drowning

Ward wasn't recruited by Garrett, but by literally any non-Hydra agent so he is a good guy

Coulson and May listened to the agent telling them to not send May in at Bahrain, heaven knows what happens there

the government gives the Avengers more than a week to go through the Accords, so they all get to the enhanced-people-have-to-wear-trackers, giant-underwater-prison, enhanced-operatives-can't-investigate-politicians, no-trial-for-enhanced, no-investigation-for-enhanced, etc sections so they all decide to not sign and just don't care what the government says

this is random, but i feel like Bucky as Ghost Rider would be a cool aesthetic.

the Avengers meet Robbie bc he keeps assassinating their targets bc they're targets of Ghost Rider's

Daisy dies instead of Lincoln

Daisy kills Lash before he can save her

Loki never "dies," so he is sent back to Asgardian prison after tdw

Radcliffe never reads the Darkhold, he just gave it to AIDA, so most of s4 doesn't happen

Dreykov comes after Natasha between Avengers and CACW, leading to the Avengers beating his *ss (like Yelena said, the god from space doesn't need an ibuprofen after a fight)

everything's the same but no Joss Whedon going on and on about Natasha not being able to have kids

whatever ship scenario you have is canon now

Loki gets all panicky after the Hulk beats him to a pulp, having now realized what he's done. Thor believes him, and this leads to Thanos being killed in 2012-13

Deadpool sits in the back of everything, shouting comments like "Yay! Superhero landing! But don't do that, it's bad for your knees!"

Peter Parker's parents never die

the Cavalry is an Avenger

Yondu brings Peter Quill to Ego, causing the universe's destruction

Gamora and Nebula get along their entire lives

Gamora and Nebula switch roles (Gamora becomes the cyborg, Nebula the guardian and Thanos's favorite daughter)

Heimdall actually bothers to look for Loki, seeing if they can find his body for a funeral, to find that he is being tortured by Thanos. Odin refuses to send anyone to save him, making Thor realize just how awful he is. Thor, Sif, and Warriors 3 go with the help of Heimdall to save Loki

Odin and Frigga are actually good parents, creating the most iconic trio ever

tw suicide for the next bullet point

Bucky commits suicide between TWS and CACW (Sebastian said in an interview once that Bucky was suicidal)

Loki keeps coming back as DB Cooper for fun or bc he keeps losing bets

the Eternals did interfere

the shrapnel kills Tony

this one thing i made about Mr Rogers adopting Loki

Robbie is part of the Avengers in 2012, but when he sees Loki he immediately says that Loki isn't the issue and goes off to fight Thanos single handedly (and wins)

for whatever reason Coulson and May do legally adopt all the Bus Kids

Hunter and Bobbi both go to break Fitz out of prison, and they stick around for the rest of the season

Fitz and Jemma never meet (saddest of sad days)

Loki for some reason is in FFH and he sees Mysterio's illusions and just laughs bc he's such an amateur

everything's the same, everyone's just obsessed with classical music and it's constantly playing so i get happy watching it

Asgardians are like the elves in LOTR (books, not the movies), so they're constantly singing and dancing and all

Loki is shown playing a Norse flute-like instrument (we know they exist, we've found them, they're different than your typical flute and we don't really know how they sound but i want Loki to be a flautist and no i'm not not projecting (note the double negative) and yes i headcanon Loki to be a flautist i don't care what anyone says)

everyone gets therapy

someone (Monica or Jimmy) hits Hayward on the head, knocking him out (the same way Gandalf knocked out Denethor in ROTK when Denethor told everyone to flee) and the rest of SWORD works with them because clearly Hayward has issues

Stephen commits to not texting and driving

somehow Luis becomes He Who Remains just for one timeline so the entire story is told like how he tells his flashbacks

Coulson doesn't help Fury and Carol escape

T'Challa does not survive and M'Baku becomes Black Panther

the suit in Iron Man 3 is not garbage the entire movie

Tony doesn't find a way to save himself in time

Ross dies in Incredible Hulk

Loki has a pet flerken he just always carries around

by the same logic, Bucky has a kitten he meets between TWS and CACW that he always carries around. said kitten attacks people when they attack Bucky

Bucky becomes Captain America instead of Sam

when Thor goes back to 2013 Asgard, he drags Loki with him back to 2023

Clint tests the time travel by going to Sokovia and drags Pietro back with him

Steve comes back an old man, but they use Bruce's attempt at time travel to turn him back into the 30 something Steve he was

literally anything happens other than Thanos killing Loki bc Loki only used knives when he isn't even tall enough to reach Thanos's neck

Sam and Bucky straight up kill Walker

Daisy never goes through terrigenesis

Loki somehow ends up a tutor for Daisy

Bucky joins the aos team after they find him on the run from Hydra

Bucky plays baritone saxophone bc bari saxes are awesome and it adds nothing to the plot but he spends at least half an hour in each movie playing bari sax

everything's the same but John Williams is the composer

S.H.I.E.L.D. uses GH-325 to revive a bunch of composers (Mozart, Dvorak, Beethoven, Bach, Bizet, Holst, y'know, all my guys) because they for whatever reason have their bodies because of some wack mission. and now they have a bunch of classical composers alive who insist on writing more music. and what are you going to do, tell Bach to stop composing?

by that same logic, someone working at the Guest House decides to steal Freddie Mercury's body so that they can revive him bc he just loves Queen that much

Thor realizes how awful Odin is and makes it his goal to get revenge for what Odin did to his little brother

Thor meets a bunch of Loki variants (most notably gator Loki) and just decides to stop questioning anything ever

Mobius teaches Loki how to ride a jet ski

Loki arrives at S.H.I.E.L.D. and informs everyone he wants to go to school and learn about politics and run for president and S.H.I.E.L.D. is like "okay whatever just don't tell anyone you're a literal god" but have no way to stop Loki from telling anyone

y'know the "shot heard 'round the world" thing from the Battle of Lexington (first battle in American revolution, if you don't know what it is, we have no clue who made the first shot & both sides were telling their troops to not fire. once that shot was fired the battle broke out)? yeah well that was Loki i'm pretty sure

Loki comes to Earth and becomes an Avenger and all but only ever introduces himself as DB Cooper. Thor doesn't ever come to Earth, so everyone just thinks DB Cooper found the secret to not age and just showed up to save people. he disappears for stretches of time & everyone stops being confused bc he was in hiding for decades of course no one's gonna find him (he is actually on Asgard)

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redheadedteatotaler · 3 years

Text

3.29.21

There’s a tiny bit of news, our next featured CaraDin writer is ready to be introduced, our MOTD takes us back to the last time we heard Gina talk about new beginnings, the gallery shows off why I’m dangerous when it comes to making screencaps, and more!

Now, onto your daily dose of Conviction...

A little news, if you want to call it that. Disney SW fans are getting desperate, and calling for themselves to gather and try to undo the negative damage we’ve done to the Star Wars YT account...Ryan at RK Outpost talks about that, among other things....

youtube

First I want to offer a quick apology to @maryscarlett2u, I forgot to link to her A03 works last week. You can find that by clicking here: scarlett2u

The CaraDin writer that we’re getting to know this week is @name1name1. Her A03 collection can be found here.

1. PEN NAME (IF IT DIFFERS FROM YOUR TUMBLR NAME) Name1

2. DO YOU HAVE WORKS ANYWHERE OUTSIDE OF A03? Tried to upload to ff.net but it was too bothersome so I stopped after 1 story :)

3. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN A WRITER? 1 year and 1 month

4. WHAT IS THE HARDEST PART ABOUT WRITING? finding time to escape real life

5. RESEARCH OR MAKE IT UP AS YOU GO? Make it up as I go to get everything on paper, then go back and fill in with details I had to look up.

6. DOES YOUR FIRST EVER FAN FIC STILL EXIST ANYWHERE? lol yes, it's only a year old :D

7. DO YOU REMEMBER WHO IT WAS ABOUT (DON’T WORRY ABOUT A SHIP NAME)? Cara getting injured protecting Bean and Din taking care of her

8. WHERE DO YOU SEEM TO GET YOUR BEST IDEAS? as I'm falling asleep....or in the shower.....or anywhere I don't have immediate access to my phone to write ideas down

9. WHO ARE YOUR SHIPS? I've only written CaraDin and Boska, but have a ton other, mostly sci-fi related ones: Quill/Gamora, Nebula/Mantis, Yondu/Kraglin, Jaime/Brienne, Thor/Jane, Han/Leia, Jack/Elizabeth, Natasha/Clint....I could go on.

10. FAVORITE CARADIN TAG TO READ? Slow burn or idiots to lovers. Found family....

11. FAVORITE CARADIN TAG TO WRITE FOR? Angst....but most of my angst turns into family feels eventually :/

So, like I said, I fully intend to start listing EVERY CaraDin piece posted at A03. So, starting with today’s date, at the time of this posting, this is what I found.

Meant to Be by Ladymarine

Friends to Lovers

Idiots in Love

This is an interview she did with ESPN, discussing landing the role of her beloved Cara, and how it was a new beginning...

youtube

I am absolutely the wrong person to ask to make screencaps of anything. Why? Because I get completely carried away. The only thing keeping me from showing you just exactly how bad, is that Tumblr has a limit on the number of pictures you can put in one post. These are just a few of the ones I did from a video she shot on her way to a premiere. The last one of these, is still my favorite.

Til Our Paths Cross...

#gina carano #the carano files

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nxsmss · 3 years

Text

movies I watched in March

I made some changes about how I will post these. first of all, I won't be adding the cast and plot because I'm too lazy, sorry. second, I added if I would watch the movie again, and lastly I'm gonna post my reviews every week because doing it monthly makes the list too long imo

wonder woman

finding ohana

the lost city of z

promising young woman

the last sharknado: it's about time

secret society of second born royals

sentinelle

captain america civil war

doctor strange

guardians of the galaxy vol. 2

deadpool

instant family

spiderman homecoming

deadpool 2

rock it

groupies bleiben nicht zum frühstück

yes day

the amazing spiderman

mulan (2020)

happy death day 2U

contagion

jumanji

thor ragnarok

guns akimbo

black panther

infinity war

1. wonder woman

okay, first of all it's an amazing movie there's no doubt in that but there are just two tiny things that are bugging me and maybe it's just because it's a DC movie and my dad basically punched it into me to be a marvel fan since I was 10. so, i did not like those shots were the characters were either falling because of a punch or jumping several hundred meters. it just looks weird and unnatural in my opinion. and the other thing... could they give her any less clothing?!?! I know it's very comic accurate but c'mon

7.5/10

would I watch it again? probably ya

2. finding ohana

this was such a cute fun little movie. i really enjoyed. it's kinda like 'journey to the center of earth' just made for today's generation and it made me feel a little nostalgic. I fuxking loved ioane's throwing up noises

8/10

would I watch it again? hm I'm gonna go with yes

3. the lost city of z

its a good movie, i can't deny that and I should definitely give it a higher rating but I thought it was like this exciting adventure movie, which it wasn't, it is based on real events and I didn't know that starting this movie. what didnt help, was that I was really tired when I watched it. I fell asleep for a bit and even my dad fell asleep, which kinda says a lot cause he never falls asleep during a movie (only if it's really late, which it wasn't. we finished it before 11)

I have to admit I think my rating would be a lot higher if I went into this movie with a different mindset!! I feel sorry only giving it 4 stars :(

4/10

would I watch it again? yes when I'm in the right mood

4. promising young woman

oh I liked this, I really did and I can recommend watching this. I did like the end, not cassie's end tho, but u like that they all kind got what they deserve. (little spoiler I was really rooting for ryan and him turning out to be an ass kinda crushed me a little)

8/10

would I watch it again? hm not sure

5. the last sharknado: it's about time

my friends hate me for watching all of these movies and tbh I hate myself too for doing so🤦🏻‍♀️ they are all so terrible!! and I have no idea if they do that on purpose or not, I really hope so. it's just so fucking bad that it's funny again. the plot is just stupid and we do not talk about the special effects. I cant really give a serious rating to this movie because it would have to be like a 0. but I feel like I cant rate it like that because I still fuckifn enjoyed watching it haha

I fucking lost it when fin pulled the sword out of the stone and it was a chainsaw

would I watch it again? yes and I hate myself for this answer

6. secret society of second born royals

fun little family movie, makes me wish I was a second born haha. it's good, there was a very very unexpected twist in this movie that neither me or my family saw coming. I just think it wasn't exactly my type

4/10

would I watch it again? nah

7. sentinelle

yea um.. it's a no from me. it was kinda really boring and it felt like there wasn't happening anything. it was supposed to be an action movie but there was hardly any action in it

2/10

would I watch it again? no

8. captain america civil war

another one of my favorite marvel movies

10/10

would I watch it again? yes

9. doctor strange

dont know what to say hahaha but if i could be a character in the mcu i would very much like it if i was a sorceress

9/10

would I watch it again? yes

10. guardians of the galaxy vol. 2

I think this is in general one of the least favourite movies in the fandom but I like it a lot. think i actually like it more that the first one and I love that we saw more of yondu in this, I really like his "powers" and the end was really sad.

8.5/10

would I watch it again? yes

11. deadpool + 14. deadpool 2

love love love the deadpool movies!!! can only recommend them. I like the second a bit more tho. what I was disappointed in, before it was released they made such a big deal about the rating saying "oh its gonna be so brutal and blah blah blah" and then, both of the movies are rated age 16+. I remember, for the first one I was so excited and then i watched it and i was like "well.. that wasn't exactly how I thought it was gonna be but okay

8/10

8.5/10

would I watch it again? yup

12. instant family

this is one of my absolute favorite movies ever. god I love it so much and the end always makes me cry (not in a sad way)

10/10 definitely

would I watch it again? YES

13. spiderman homecoming

I dont know what it is with me and this movie but I just dont really like it. I cant explain it. I'm also not the biggest mcu spiderman fan (sorry, please dont hate on me)

5/10

would I watch it again? yes if I'm doing a mcu rewatch but I don't think I would ever pick homecoming to watch when I'm bored

15. rock it

this has to be one of my favourite childhood movies (I dont even knowing I can say childhood, I was like 10 when it came out haha) I feel so sorry for all you non german speakers that cant enjoy this movie as much as i/we do. god I love it so much😂 and why the fuck isn't the soundtrack on spotify, I hate it

if you're german and you didn't watch this movie as a child I am very sorry for you.

I can already see myself watching "groupies bleiben nicht zum frühstück" sometime soon🤦🏻‍♀️

10/10 (god I had to) actually no 9/10 because of the ending. I'd liked it more if they would have kicked her out of the school and they got the band back together

would I watch it again? duh

16. groupies bleiben nicht zum frühstück

yup, I watched it. and I dont like it that I did because my aggression level was already high when I started and this movie did not help with it. the main actress is just no. I'm not sure if it's her or the character but I absolutely do not like her performance in this. argh it makes me want to break something. the songs slap tho!!

this movie is just straight up 1D fanfiction from 2013

4/10 but the songs are definitely 10/10 (they definitely got inspired by green day)

would I watch it again? ugh I hope not.

17. yes day

oh I loved this movie!! fun little family movie. it only has 5.7 stars on IMDb which i totally dont get, should be higher imo. loved seeing edgar ramirez in something other than an action/thriller kinda movie.

9/10

would I watch it again? yes but I don't think anytime soon

18. the amazing spiderman

aahh the feelings I got watching this movie. like I was 12 again... I love it and this movie. andrew garfield is my favorite spiderman and no one can change my mind.

9/10

would I watch it again? yup

19. mulan (2020)

I liked it. I don't know/remember the original disney movie so maybe that's why I like it. to me it feels like they got inspired by the original movie and made a version for (young) adults. it definitely didn't feel like a kids movie

5/10

would I watch it again? I think so yea

20. happy death day 2u

naahh I didnt like this one. the first one was good (I think, I dont remember) but this one was really boring. if it wasn't for my dad I would've stopped the movie half way through

1/10

would I watch it again? no.

21. contagion

it's a very good and interesting movie but tbh i was a bit bored towards the end but maybe that was just because of my mood

6/10

would I watch it again? hm, yea probably

22. jumanji

I'm not really a fan of Dwayne Johnson but I like/tolerate him in this haha. it's a fun adventure movie, I really like it, can recommend. when I watched it in theaters I didn't know nick jonas was in it and when he showed up my sister and I completely lost it

8.5/10

would I watch it again? yes

23. thor ragnarok

another one of my favorite marvel movie. I think definitely top 5. cinematography, soundtrack, jeff goldblum, everything is just 😚👌🏼 I just realised I really miss heimdall. such an underrated character and I wish he didn't die in infinity war

god the memories I get watching this movie. I think since ultron, my family and i have been to the premiere/the first screening, whatever, of every marvel movie and for some reason this was monday midnight, no idea why... but we went anyways. my mom drank 2 liters of cola, we were home again at like 3am and everyone had to get up by like 7 the next day because of school and work.

10/10

would I watch it again? hell yes haha

24. guns akimbo

wow. I gotta say I went into this with very low expectations but I was pleasantly surprised. nice fun action movie but it also made you think about some serious issues afterwards. I loved the camera work on most of the action scenes.

7.5/10

would I watch it again? yea maybe

25. black panther

it's a fucking masterpiece!!

10/10

would I watch it again? stupid question

26. infinity war

painful

10/10

would I watch it again? another stupid question

#movies i watched in #lara talks to herself

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kaunis-sielu · 4 years

Text

Teacher, Teacher: 21

The week off was perfect. The fact that you get to spend the whole time with Steve is even better. It’s comfortable, you, Steve and Minnie. You’re even more relieved when Steve tells you that the phone call he had been on was with Carol and Mr. Yondu letting him know that he wasn’t being investigated for anything and that he was in the clear.

The last two weeks of the year before winter break are a breeze. Your kids are as good as you can expect them to be just before the holidays. Amazingly on the last Thursday of the year it snows so heavily that the plows can’t get the roads clear before school and Superintendent Pierce decides to have a snow day.

Tonight you’re having a dinner party for the team, your traditional “we survived the holiday season” party. Steve had offered to host it at his house, the layout was bigger and more open so you’d been more than okay with moving the party to his house.

“What time is it?” You call from the bathroom as you swipe on some mascara.

“Ten to!” Steve calls back as the doorbell rings.

“Do you need me to get that?”

“Yes please!” He calls back and you make your way to the door. You’re not surprised to see Nat and Clint have arrived first.

“Hey, hope we’re not too early.”

“No, you’re good. Steve should be down in second. He’s been cooking.”

“Is that what we’re calling it now?” Nat teases and you roll your eyes at her.

“Coats can go here.” You tell them sliding the barn door open. You take the container of pasta salad from Clint as they shrug off their coats. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

“I’m good,” Clint says as you lead them into the kitchen. Steve comes down the stairs in this gorgeous white cable knit sweater and you’re momentarily shaken with how good he looks.

Thor and Sif are next, Hope is only minutes behind, Bucky shows up ten minutes late but just lets himself in. You’re sitting next to Sif when she passes you one of the dishes and you almost drop the mashed potatoes in your lap.

“Oh my god!” You practically throw the bowl on the table. “Thor! Sif! Oh my god!” You grab Sif’s hand and gawk at the sparkling diamond.

“I told you she’d notice.” Sif says with a laugh as you examine the ring on her finger.

“I can’t believe you guys didn’t say anything! When?” You demand looking between the two of them.

“Last Friday, it was just the two of us at the house and we were having a bonfire during that little twenty minute snowstorm.”

“Ooh good timing Thor.” Nat says reaching over the table for Sif’s hand.

“It was perfect. Very sweet.” Sif says smiling softly over at Thor. Nat admires the ring as Steve leaves the table and grabs a fresh bottle of wine.

“I can’t believe you weren’t going to say anything!” You glare over at Thor who gives you a little shrug.

“We would’ve if no one noticed after dinner.” He says but you’re not so sure.

“Let’s have a toast,” Steve interrupts your disbelieving glare and pouring fresh drinks. Once he’s done he raises his own glass, “to the happy couple, Thor and Sif!” You clink all your glasses together and cheers them.

The dinner is wonderful, you’re not sure who has more fun. You or Minnie who laps up the attention like crazy. Natasha tells you that Clint’s pleas for a dog have finally worn her down and she’s going to get him a dog for Christmas. Something you know he’s going to freak out about.

You head home the following day. You’ve been at Steve’s for over two weeks and while you love being there with him it is nice to head back home to your own space. You plan on spending Christmas together, you’re still not willing to go home but you have agreed to a Skype dinner on Christmas Eve. You’ll introduce Steve to your shit show of a family then, and hope he doesn’t run because of them. On Christmas Day you’re going to Bucky’s, you’d ended up helping Steve find gifts for Winnie and Becca and he’d insisted on adding your name to the from tag.

It’s strange but you feel like you’ve known and loved him for so much longer than a couple of months. It’s lonely without him, you like having your own space but the simple fact is that you like having your own space, with Steve.

After two days you miss him, even Minnie seems to be depressed as she follows you around the house sighing, quite dramatically, often. You only last until the evening of the second day before you FaceTime him.

“Hey Darlin’. What’s up?” He’s not at home but you’re not sure where he is.

“Are you busy? I can call back.”

“Just with Buck. Everything okay?”

“Yea, I just had to show you, the most depressed pup I’ve ever seen.” You flip the camera to the one on the back of your phone so Steve can see Minnie. She’s laying on your couch with her toy monkey under her chin. She doesn’t pick her head up but looks at you with her big brown eyes.

“Ooh.” Steve groans with a little laugh, “Minnie girl.” Her ears perk up when he says her name and he lets out a soft, “awe.”

“I think she misses you.”

“You guys are disgusting!” Bucky yells in the background and you laugh.

“I’ll let you go.”

“See you tonight?” He asks and you nod as a smile tugs at your lips. “Love you Darlin.”

“I love you too.” You hang up then and cross the room to join Minnie on the couch. You turn on Netflix and end up dozing on the couch as you rewatch Queer Eye.

You wake up a few hours later, Minnie isn’t on the couch anymore but you hear Steve’s soft voice talking to her. He comes up the stairs and he gives you a soft smile when his gaze meets yours.

“Hi Darlin.”

“Hey. What time is it?”

“Almost midnight, you wanna go to bed?”

“I suppose, I should let Minnie out.”

“I already did, she was much quieter when I got here.” Steve says with a grin gently pulling you up off the couch.

“Thank you.” You tell him before disappearing into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

When Steve is done getting ready you and Minnie are curled up on the bed. When Steve is there Minnie sleeps on her own bed, she’s just spoiled enough to have a mattress of her own.

Minnie jumps down and curls up to sleep as Steve joins you on the bed. “Hey Darlin’?”

“Yea?”

“I was thinkin, well wonderin I guess, if you’d maybe want to move in with me. I know it’s fast but I’m happier when you’re around.”

“Yes. I missed you, probably as much as Minnie.”

“Probably?” He teases and you give him a little bump with your elbow. He chuckles before pulling you to him.

Tag list:

@abschaffer2 @dsakita @dramadreamer14 @thesassmisstress @andahugaroundtheneck @loving-life-my-way @thefridgeismybestie @killcomet @dumblani @silverkitten547 @im-just-another-monster @mywinterwolf @scuzmunkie @biskwitmamaw @geeksareunique @paintballkid711 @lumar014 @also-fangirlinsweden @simmisblog @bookoffracturedescapes @damiien-haas @heyyouwiththeassbutt @a-heart-adorned @patzammit @giggleberts @itsallyscorner @moneybagmara

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stjernfaerie · 4 years

Text

I finally watched all of MCU

in release order because IT MAKES SENSE!!!!

special thanks to @littlegingrnut who watched ALL OF THEM with me. She’s the best.

Idk if anyone cares at all, but I feel like sharing, so here’s some thoughts and reactions, enjoy:

Phase 1:

Iron man

okay but like how was Tony such a jerk in the beginning only to become like the most lovable character ever??

YINSEN DID NOT NEED TO DIE :((

did not like the antagonist what was that

I mean he’s not bad I just didn’t like him that much

I wanna get myself a jarvis tho

all in all, really enjoyed it

got me really excited to watch more

The Incredible Hulk

didn't watch cuz aly said not necessary

we just skimmed over the important parts

oh and watched the end credits scene

Iron man 2

this was really great

okay but like I love Ivan Vanko hes such a great antagonist

I LOVE TONY

HE’S SO GREAT

THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND EVERYTHING GOSH AAH

oh damn ~Natasha Romanoff~

ma’am-

Pepper as a powerful business lady? YES

just... really great shit right here

Thor

Mmmmmm I don't see the hype about Loki??

his two faced-ness is annoying me

also Thor? I didn't love him at first,, he's a bit cliché

STELLAN SKARSGÅRD YES SWEDISH REP

okay but Thor is a good boi actually,,, I take it back he’s pretty great

Oh nooo Loki - yeah lol as if he actually died

YO WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT END CREDITS SCENE that got me all like WTF and shit

also told ya Loki didn’t die

Captain America: The First Avenger

okay full disclosure, I actually watched this one time before bc I started watching them in chronological order but never got any further than this

it made so much more sense this time

I liked it so much better this time

because THE RELEASE ORDER MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

anyway

this was good !!

I'm gay for Peggy omg

and Steve is such a good boi

DID BUCKY REALLY HAVE TO DIE

all in all not my favourite tho, not too memorable tbh

"I had a date" 😭

The Avengers

ohhh man

ALL OF THEM TOGETHER? UGH YES

Oh hello Dr. Banner nice to see u

Loki bro pls chill

OKAY HULK HELLO

NATASHANATASHANATASHA AAAHH I'M GAY

still don't get the Loki hype tbh. maybe a lil bit but idk

THOR OKAY I LOVE THOR NOW

TONY WHAT THE FUCK NO NO NO TONY DON'T

oh okay he's good

I love them all so much oh gosh

I MADE IT THROUGH PHASE ONE WOHOOOO

***

Phase 2

Iron man 3

this movie changed me

aly can confirm - I was very much not okay after seeing this

literally had anxiety through all of it

I mean I LOVED it

but like

the ptsd :(((

although I do love that they showed that, just made me love Tony even more

just... showing the ugly parts - love that shit

but also like noooo tony bby :((((

HARLEY!!!! IS SO GREAT !!! AND ALY SAID HE COMES BACK AT ONE POINT!! YAY

just.... Tony Stark man.

great antagonist, love the whole mandarin thing

EXTREMIS? NO THANK U that honestly gives me like zombie ish vibes or smth I don’t like it

but like it was great

OH PEPPER JUST BECAME 10x HOTTER DAMN SHE JUST GETS MORE AND MORE ATTRACTIVE EACH MOVIE HUH

PEPPER ALMOST DYING? NOPE

THE PAIN IN TONY'S FACE? NOPE

all in all loved this so much and I am still not really okay

Thor: The Dark World

I see why people think this is the worst Thor movie.

DON’T GET ME WRONG IT WAS GREAT

but like,,, meh? the big end fight was so anti-climactic? not epic at all like what the fuck

I LOVE DARCY

but she's clearly gay so stop makin her fool around with the intern

but like Thor is such a soft boi and I love him

again, Loki's two-faced-ness – aRH

but,,,, I get the Loki hype now

I'm aboard the train

I love Loki

oh oh oh the part in his prison cell when Thor comes to talk to him and is all like "enough tricks" and then his cell is all torn up and he's all torn up and AH BABY 😭

Thor just needs cuddles

Aaaaand this is where I accidentally got the worst possible spoiler. :)))

I wanted to watch some wholesome Tony Stark content before bed and so I searched youtube for "Iron Man" and clicked on a video I thought looked nice and wholesome. I accidentally read the top comment and then proceeded to break down and freak out to Aly and Hanna on Aly’s live, and they comforted me and stuff <3

Aly then told me that “hey remember that I told you that the little boy in Iron Man 3 comes back at one point? Yeah that’s at the funeral”

STUPIDLY, I then watched the death scene on YouTube, went to bed crying, and of course, dreaming about it. I will never be okay again and I will never be ready for Endgame thank you and goodbye.

anywAY,,,,,

Captain America: Winter Soldier

*SO MUCH SCREAMING*

I thought that Bucky didn’t deserve to die - and he didn’t - but like,,, DYING WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN THIS

the ~bromance~

nat and steve I mean, so good

I AM NOT OKAY I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS MOVIE BUT IT WAS AMAZING

Natasha tho mmmmmhhf

I was rly confused while watching but like everything came together at the end and it was so nice and damn this is one of my favorites so far

Sam is great I want more of Sam

Guardians of the Galaxy

multiple people had told me that they thought I’d really like this movie

honestly? I didn’t

it was kinda meh?

like I found it very predictable and cliché and not in a delightful way

idk if it’s just that I know that Chris Pratt is a dick but I don’t like Peter

I rly like Gamora and Nebula, but like I’m a lesbian, so I don’t think anyone’s surprised that I like the traumatized warrior gals

but like in general I’m kinda disappointed

I only gasped like twice, and it was barely gasp-worthy moments

Avengers: Age of Ultron

All of them together just makes me so happy, they’re so cute with each other AH

loved Ultron as the antagonist. that was great.

but,,,, I was a bit disappointed that we didn’t really get to see any regret from Tony bc he created Ultron

THE TWINS ARE FANTASTIC

whatever’s going on with Bruce and Nat, I don’t like it

TOO MANY moments that reminded me of the spoiler that I refuse to speak. Did not enjoy

everyone just needs to be hugged why doesn’t anybody HUG THEM????

not happy about Jarvis dying :((( even tho he technically didn’t die but like HE’S NOT JARVIS ANYMORE IS HE

and then Tony just replaces him with this Friday just like that??? no i’m not okay with that

in a ranking scenario this one falls in like the top of the middle range? Like it’s not one of the favorites, but it’s still up there.

I FUCKING DID IT AGAIN ARGH

I was just reading about new MCU projects that are coming up and THERE WAS A SPOILER WARNING, but STUPID AS I AM I DISREGARDED that and kept on reading. I was just skimming through the text and I read “Loki who dies” and stopped right there, because AAHH FUCKING SHIT

I was on a call with Aly as this happened and so I told her that I had given myself a spoiler again and that it was about Loki, and she was all like I can’t remember anything that happens to Loki hmm, and so I thought YAY it’s okay, they just meant one of the times when he fake died!!! so I went on to keep reading, but before I could read anything else Aly stopped me, remembering. She told me it would be gut-wrenching and terrible and I’m just-

So disappointed in myself.

Ant-Man

it was an enjoyable movie, but like,,, a little meh?

I feel kinda the same as I did with GOTG

but I like each of them better than the other for different reasons? idk???

the plot wasn’t very thick, like I could have gone away to pee without pausing and probably not miss too much

I didn’t really get invested in the story or the characters

but it was enjoyable for sure

Sam!!! Hello!!!!

Again, like with GOTG, I found it kinda cliché, but in a more delightful way this time

WE MADE IT THROUGH PHASE 2 AND PASSED THE HALF-WAY POINT WOHOOOOO

***

Phase 3

Captain America: Civil War

I constantly needed to be hugged while watching this

in the end I was fine, like I’ve been way less okay after some of the other movies, but during? needed hugs and cuddles

I love that they were fighting each other it was just... umff you know

but also like,,, LOVE EACH OTHER

Wanda and Vision? no thanks I HATE IT

Steve and Sharon?? NO THANKS I HATE IT

literally that’s just weird on SO many levels

and that kiss was-- ugh I hated it.

SPIDER BOY !!!!! UGH I LOVE HIM ALREADY

Black Panther heLLOOO

ALL THE STUCKY THOOO

Tony and Steve fighting in the end got me :(

Doctor Strange

This one falls at the bottom of my list

It was the shortest movie but it felt SO LONG because I was so bored through all of it

it just never got me hooked, I didn’t get invested in the story at all.

there weren’t even any characters that I liked enough to want to see more

sure another infinity stone and getting to know doctor strange and shit, I get why you kinda need to watch it

but I doubt I’ll watch it again

Guardians of the Galaxy 2

just like with the first one, kinda meh

I didn’t really get into it until the last half hour or so

the music really carried this movie tho

and baby groot !!!

I love Nebula so much, such a great character

Yondu dying was really great, it did a lot for his character

I still don’t really like Peter Quill

I feel like it was barely contributing to the infinity saga, the only thing that’s somewhat connected is that Nebula wants to kill Thanos, and the only reason I know that’s connected is because of spoilers

because I’m not really supposed to know the significance of Thanos at this point

but then again, maybe I’ll feel differently when I’ve finished all the movies

Spiderman: Homecoming

SPIDEY BOY !!!!!!!!!

THIS IS A FAVORITE

I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVED THIS MOVIE

THE TONY/PETER INTERACTIONS WERE SO GREAT

PETER IS A BABY AND HE’S SO GREAT AND AAAAAHH

HE’S ON MY LIST BTW

AND LIKE,,, CAN WE TALK ABOUT HIS FIGHTING SOUNDS COMPARED TO EVERYONE ELSE’S???? Like steve and thor and shit are all like huOH heeeUH oAH ya know?? and then peter’s over here like eeh heh mmmMHF

HE’S JUST REALLY GREAT AND AAH I LOVED THIS MOVIE SO MUCH

LITERALLY SMILED THROUGH ALMOST ALL OF IT

except when things were going bad and during the fight scenes and shit and when he was in big danger and stuffs

BUT LIKE AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

SO GOOD

OH OH OH AND STEVE’S LITTLE EDUCATIONAL VIDEOS WERE SO CUTE AH

hehehheheh and the end credits tho heheheheh

ANYWAY I LOVED THIS MOVIE SO SO SO SOO MUCH

Thor: Ragnarok

ANOTHER FAVORITE AAAAH

ALL THE BROTHERLY MOMENTS THO

Kinda mad that we didn’t get a hug there in the end but oh well

Thor is so sassy and goofy in this one I love it

ugghhhhh I love Loki so much

Hela has so much Maleficent vibes

Heimdall yESSS !!!

all the Thor/Hulk interactions were so PRECIOUS AAH

this was just such a great movie with great character development for both Thor and Loki and ughhhh IT WAS SO GOOD

“get help” was fucking ICONIC

VALKYRIE THO

oof not excited for infinity war :((

Black Panther

this one falls somewhere in the middle for me

like it was good, but it’s not up there

my main issue with it is that it didn’t really feel so much like a superhero movie, it was more just like... family drama

but Shuri tho, love her

and all the awesome ladies fighting!!! yes!!!!

BUCKY!!!

Avengers: Infinity War

I am not okay

I will never be okay again

I thought Loki dying was gonna be the worst part - and honestly, knowing about it beforehand made it less painful actually

but NO NO NO

THE LAST 15 MINUTES IS JUST A CRYFEST HUH

REAL NICE THANK YOU

oh gosh I can’t even think

I told y’all I didn’t like Peter Quill and well, HE DESERVED WHAT HE GOT

oh gosh nope

I’ve been feeling guilty that all of y’all had to wait a full year for endgame but AT LEAST THEN YOU HAD TIME TO BE OKAY AGAIN BEFORE ENDGAME

fucking shit what have I gotten myself into

Ant-Man and the Wasp

I liked this one better than the first ant-man

It’s still not up there but it was good

idk it could just be bc I know the characters more this time or because I kind of had pretty low expectations but I liked this more

oh also maybe I was just happy that I didn’t have to see like all my favorite characters die like I did yesterday :(((

still not okay

anyway, ant-man and the wasp

I really liked Ava, really great character honestly

I liked Hope a whole lot more this time around

still don’t really like her and Scott together, especially after her mother like talked through him and shit. I feel like if I was Hope and my mother talked to me through my love interest, I would feel pretty weird about it all

but maybe that’s just me idk

oh but what I do like about scott and hope is all of hank’s comments about them

he’s funny hehehe

also Luis! great dude

okay but Bill FOSTER???? as in JANE FOSTER?? SEEMINGLY HAVING NO CONNECTION AT ALL???

there’s too many double names in this whole ass franchise and I’m upset

two Peters, two Eriks, two Fosters.... like I know that’s what real life is like, people have the same names, but THIS IS FICTION

YOU CAN AVOID THE CONFUSION

that wasn’t totally related to this movie specifically but this was the third strike dudes, I couldn’t just ignore it anymore.

oh oh oh and I did not appreciate the mid credits scene, I DON’T NEED REMINDERS OF THAT PAIN THANK YOU VERY MUCH

Captain Marvel

this one falls somewhere in the middle for me

like it was good, and I enjoyed it a lot, but it just wasn’t really anything that left me all like woooaaaah omg AH you know???

I really liked how it connected back to previous movies like with Ronan and the Kree people from GOTG and the tesseract and all that jazz

where can I get myself a flerken tho I want one

I appreciate that no one turned into dust, that was nice

my main problem with this movie is that HER POWERS MAKE NO SENSE

like in the beginning it was kinda okay. I didn’t understand her powers, but at least they felt reasonable

then we got to the end and all of a sudden she’s flying and glowing and strong enough to stop and redirect a fuckin missile, and then she’s FLYING INTO BOMBS AND COMING OUT THE OTHER END COMPLETELY UNSCATHED??

OH AND THEN SHE FLIES INTO FUCKIN SPACE WITHOUT A HELMET OR ANYTHING AND SHE CAN BREATHE JUST FINE???

it just makes no sense, it’s completely unreasonable and it makes her too perfect to me. Too unbeatable. I don’t like it.

but all in all a good movie, loved seeing young Fury and shit

Avengers: Endgame I WILL NEVER BE READY

As I thought, I wasn’t ready

But, I actually think that knowing about Tony beforehand made it a bit easier

I still wish I hadn’t known

and I still bawled like a baby

but like,,, I think I would have been way worse off if I hadn’t known

I’m just so sad now

I really need a hug

and even though I just cried more than I’ve done all year I need to cry some more I think

I’m glad everyone who got dusted came back, although I kinda knew they would

well, I would have been fine with Quill staying dusted tbh. I really don’t like that guy

NATASHA WAS NOT ALLOWED TO DIE, I WILL NOT BE OKAY WITH THIS :(

oh gosh yeah I know I have more thoughts about this movie that I wanna say but I need to be more okay first oh man

okay hi again, it’s the next day and I’m still sad but here are some more thoughts:

I hated the whole Bruce/Hulk think. All the good parts about each side of his character were just erased.

I don’t even see the purpose of it.

Okay I kinda knew that Steve was gonna go back to the 40s, but I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT SO SHH

anyway, I didn’t like Steve staying in the 40s, and here’s why:

he knew that this was the single one out of 14 million times they won against Thanos, so he knew that changing anything at all would fuck it up

but at the same time, I find it hard to believe that Steve could be aware that Tony and Nat dies and not want to do anything about it

even though he knows he can’t

so wouldn’t it have been easier to just go back to the present after he returned all the stones? So he wouldn’t have to live with that dilemma?

ALSO, I WILL NOT ACCEPT that after everything he did to get Bucky back, he just leaves him. Just like that.

Literally the only reason this makes sense is as a setup for the Falcon and The Winter Soldier Disney+ series.

But I still don’t like it

Spiderman: Far From Home

This was nice, I needed this.

I didn’t like it as much as homecoming, but I didn’t expect to considering how much I loved hoco

it was really nice to see some more Peter Parker bc i love him but also like,,, most of it was traumatized spidey boy :((( and that was sad :(

He’s literally just a child and he’s already so damaged and it’s big big sad

the high school vibes were immaculate

not that I’ve actually been to high school in the US but like,,, it felt like a high school movie okok

Okay but like May’s character really did a full 180? I don’t really understand where that all came from, but uhhhh okay then

Okay, Quentin Beck.

before we realized he was bad, I already didn’t like him, cuz it seemed like he was gonna start to become a new father figure for Peter and I WAS NOT COOL WITH THAT

but then I understood that that wasn’t happening so it’s all good

he’s a pretty cool antagonist. not a fave, but pretty cool.

OH OH FLASH IS SO GAY FOR SPIDERMAN THO RIGHT

he actually got some real nice character development that I had not expected, that was nice

all in all, great movie, I love my spidey boy.

pretty sad that I’m done tho... :(

but also like, I watched all of them (except incredible hulk) in 34 days. That’s kinda impressive, right?

ALSO THERE’S NO MORE SPOILER DANGER YAY !!!

and finally, here is my ranking of the movies based on how much I liked them:

0. The Incredible Hulk ( didn’t watch )

SPIDERMAN: HOMECOMING

Thor: Ragnarok

Captain America: Winter Soldier

Avengers: Age of Ultron

Iron Man 3

Avengers

Captain America: Civil War

Spiderman: Far From Home

Iron Man

Avengers: Infinity War

Thor

Avengers: Endgame

Iron Man 2

Thor: The Dark World

Captain Marvel

Black Panther

Captain America: The First Avenger

Ant-Man and the Wasp

Guardians of the Galaxy 2

Ant-Man

Guardians of the Galaxy

Doctor Strange

#i did it guys #aw man #i'm a little bit lost now tbh #like what do i do now #ooc #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #infinity saga

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dragonnan · 3 years

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This is faaaar from a complete list and will be spotty at best but I’ve been pondering MCU characters a lot as I’ve been getting slowly back to work on my mega-fic. I LOVE minor head canons. Simple stuff like favorite foods or what music they listen to or were they ever a smoker or whatever whatever. So I’m gonna give myself the challenge of crafting some head canon and anyone else is very welcome to dive in! (some things are already established via canon)

~ Ethnicity ~ Faith ~ Smoker ~ Alcohol ~ Favorite food ~ Favorite cookie ~ Favorite animal(s) ~ Favorite music ~

Tony Stark: Ethnicity: Mixed European-American-Jewish (he refers to himself as a “mutt”) Faith: “No thanks” being the initial answer but if he feels like opening up he’ll admit to believing there’s likely “something” out there but at the same time figures that “something” stopped caring about humanity a long long time ago. Smoker? Never liked cigarettes but smoked a few cigars when he was younger due to Obie’s influence. He never was a big fan but wanted to fit in with his mentor. Alcohol: Influenced both by his father and Obie, Tony started drinking hard liquor semi-regularly as young as 14 (his Dad let him try his first sip at the age of 6). He pretty much sticks with Scotch or Bourbon but is not opposed to cheap beer at a ball game. In fact the cheaper the better - a requirement for any self-respecting American. Favorite food: hot dogs. Neither one of his parents cooked. Breakfast and lunch were whatever whenever for all three of them but dinner? You better be sure you were at that table before the plates were set down or you could go without (and Tony got a slap from his father when he’d observed that rule only seemed to apply to him). But on the nights he was sent to his room, Jarvis would slip upstairs, later, with a sandwich or, on really rough nights, a couple of hotdogs. Favorite cookie: Those Christmas wreath ones made with cereal and marshmallow with the cinnamon candies. Favorite animal(s): he likes all animals but if he had to pick one for a pet he’d get an iguana. Favorite music: well duh lolol.

Stephen Strange: Ethnicity: Mixed European-American (borrowed from Benedict Cumberbatch’s ethnicity and adding the American) Faith: Originally atheist but now closer to Buddhist. Smoker: Never. Even prior to becoming a sorcerer he has always been conscious of what he takes into his body; especially given the history of cancer on his mother’s side of the family. Alcohol: Wine, occasionally, though he isn’t really a social drinker per-say. Favorite food: The spicy shrimp and pork dumplings from a Thai place in Midtown. Favorite cookie: Hmmm.... not a big sweets guy but he won’t turn away a few ginger-pecan cookies with coffee. Favorite animal(s): dogs - unequivocally. He had a border collie growing up on his family farm in Nebraska. Favorite music: please don’t make this poor man actually have to choose.

Steve Rogers: Ethnicity: Irish (as per comics) Faith? Irish-Catholic (as per the comics). Smoker? Prior to the serum there was no way he could safely do so with his health issues. After he started traveling with the performers all of the girls in the group smoked and he tried it out a few times but never developed a taste for it. Alcohol: he drank A LOT - easy enough to do as it never had any real effect on him. He enjoys scotch and bourbon (a taste he picked up from hanging around Howard Stark). Steve seems to low-key always have the munchies (like most enhanced) and once Tony picked up on that there are always a variety of snacks scattered here and there throughout the compound (also of benefit for Bruce, Peter, Thor, and, later, Bucky). Steve’s favorite foods typically remind him of his mother’s cooking. While they’d never had much (especially after his father died) his mom could do a lot with limited supplies. She used to make a fantastic meat pie with ground beef or tongue. He hates SPAM. They ate it in the Army, constantly, and just the smell will occasionally send him back to those days and not in a good way. Favorite cookie? Oreos. He can clean up a family sized pack in like 10 minutes. Steve loves animals but is especially fond of horses and dogs. There was a dog in his unit in WW2 and Steve, like most of the other men, would share bites of his rations with it. Steve is nostalgic about music from the 40s but finds that 70s rock really resonates with him.

Bucky Barnes: Ethnicity: Romanian-American (borrowing a little from Sebastian Stan’s ethnicity) Faith? Possibly agnostic. Smoker? Heck yes - both cigarettes and cigars. Like Steve, the serum he received (via Hydra’s experimentation) means he gets to dodge the detrimental side effects of smoking. Alcohol: He likes to drink but is almost exclusively a beer drinker. He has a big appetite but refuses to eat around others if he can at all help it. His favorite food is corned beef with cabbage. Steve’s grandmother was an Irish immigrant and would make it every Sunday before the war impacted rations. Since both Bucky’s parents were dead he’d often have dinner with his best friend. Also, unlike Steve, he actually likes SPAM. But then, arguably, he isn’t terribly picky about food in general. Favorite cookie: molasses. Favorite animal(s): birds - eagles in particular - though he doesn’t look too deeply at the psychology of their ability to just fly away. Needless to say a crafty observer might spot a former Winter Soldier tossing seeds towards the pigeons. Favorite music: He’s pretty eclectic though he shies away from anything too loud like death metal. He finds classical very soothing.

Peter Parker: Ethnicity: Mixed American-Scandinavian-German-ish Faith: Protestant upbringing but unsure where he currently stands. If pressed he’d say he’s “leaving his options open” Smoker? “Oh gross!” Alcohol: “Um, too young to drink, thanks! But if I WERE to... you know, try it just to taste it there was this mudslide at one of Flash’s parties that was super good...” Favorite food: spaghetti and meatballs. Lots of meatballs. Favorite cookie: chocolate chocolate chip with chunks. Favorite animal(s): NOT spiders. And NOT birds given how many rooftops he’s traversed layered in pigeon ick. He’d probably say cats. Favorite music: The B side of techno rock - especially Depeche Mode.

Peter Quill: Ethnicity: Half mixed American and half celestial. Faith: His Dad was a god and he killed him so he figures he probably isn’t on the best terms with the Big G God should He... or She... or Them... be out there. Look he just wants to do his thing and cause a little trouble without mixing it up with any other celestial types but if they DO wanna throw down he’d like to point out that he’s 1 for 1 and willing to rumble. Smoker: He would not say no to a really good cigar and may have possibly lifted a case from Yondu’s stash when he struck out on his own. Alcohol: Anywhere any time and in large quantities. Favorite food: A thick steakhouse bacon burger with potato chips right on the patty. Extra cheese please! Favorite cookie: He’s a simple guy with simple tastes. classic chocolate chip no frills no fuss and fresh from the oven. Favorite animal(s): He likes dogs - who doesn’t like dogs? But he really likes cows. Just maybe don’t mention the burger thing. Favorite music:

Thor: He’s a Norse god of legend so I figure we can forego the ethnicity/faith questions lol. Smoker: He has never understood this human custom nor has he felt any inclination to try it himself Alcohol: Beer, mead, and anything capable of knocking him on his ass. Favorite food: chili with ghost peppers. Though nowhere near as hot as the fire chilies of Muspelheim (which would be instantly fatal for humans so its just as well). Favorite cookie: strawberry cheesecake with macadamia nuts. Favorite animal(s): It’s a tossup between bilgesnipe and whales. Favorite music: The mighty horns of battle! He also enjoys old school country, much to Tony’s disgust. The story aspect of that music is what appeals to him.

Bruce Banner: Ethnicity: Italian-American Faith: Catholic in his childhood; currently Atheist or maybe agnostic. Smoker: He tends to avoid any substances for, you know, obvious reasons. Alcohol: See previous. Favorite food: Waffles with sliced mango. Favorite cookie: Oatmeal. Favorite animal(s): Mantis shrimp - “did you know they can generate so much power in their attacks that they can briefly super-heat the water up to 7,700 °C??” Favorite music: Indian- especially Krishna Bhajan.

Clint Barton: Ethnicity: Mixed European-American and Panamanian. Faith: His parents were both Protestant but he’s never latched on to any specific faith and hasn’t really devoted a lot of thought on the matter. He has a sorta loose idea of “maybe something out there” but that’s all the further he’s gotten on the subject. What he tells anyone who asks it’s that his religion is coffee. Smoker: Briefly when he was a teen. Alcohol: Beer - he’s a fan of dark lager. Favorite food: Coney Island dogs, Pizza, and pickle flavored potato chips. Favorite cookie: Monster cookies with the mini M&Ms. Favorite animal(s): Dogs Favorite music: 80s rock and some country.

Natasha Romanoff: Ethnicity: Russian. Faith: She was not given much choice when younger and was raised as “state atheist” (per comics). In the years since escaping that life, however, she has tried to discover more about herself. Her parents were both Russian Jewish and there has been a pull to discover more about that faith - especially since meeting Wanda - who is Jewish. Smoker: No. Alcohol: Some vodka - that’s a given. But she actually prefers wine; and honestly her favorites are wine spritzers. Favorite food: Favorite cookie: Krumkake filled with creme and berries. Favorite animal(s): Favorite music: Overall she listens to a pile of little-known bands and whomever is playing at whatever bar in whatever city she happens to be in. She also is a huge fan of old school Spice Girls.

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themculibrary · 4 years

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Guardians Of The Galaxy Centered Fics Masterlist

Links Last Checked: February 20th, 2023

part two, part three

Ain't No Mountain High Enough (ao3) - BeanieBaby T, 9k

Summary: I kept him ‘cause he’s small and fits into spaces others can’t. Good for thievin'.

(Post GotG Vol. 2 Fix-it.)

Ain't No River Wide Enough (ao3) - xahra99 T, 10k

Summary: "It’s okay to be afraid. But don’t ever let fear stop ya from doin’ what ya think ya gotta." Peter and Yondu head down planetside for some Ravager-style life lessons. Unsurprisingly, things don't go to plan. Set before the first movie. One-shot. Complete.

A Short List of Relevant Skills and Abilities (ao3) - ignipes T, 2k

Summary: They're very good at a lot of things, but none of those things are very good.

be all my sins remembered and more (ao3) - juurensha T, 7k

Summary: Mantis can’t help but see fragments of Ego’s children in Peter.

Dialling Tones (ao3) - Run_Ravager_Run T, 11k

Summary: Gamora is making calls in the middle of the night, Rocket is building dangerous contraptions at the breakfast table, Drax is a terrible cook, and Peter suspects his newfound family is rupturing at the seams.

Diplomacy (ao3) - turtle_paced T, 11k

Summary: In the aftermath of the attack on Xandar, there’s still the original problem of how a bunch of wanted criminals hand over a potentially universe-ending super-weapon (that they definitely aren't terrified of) to the authorities. Preferably without going back to jail. As the only one of the team with skills that can unironically be called “social,” Peter thinks this one might be on him.

Father Figure (ao3) - laylabinx T, 27k

Summary: Five times Yondu maybe, kinda, sorta, almost claimed Peter as a son and one time he totally did. Nothing too intense, just a little Yondu/Peter father-ish/son-ish bonding-ish. Almost entirely pre-movie.

if home is where the heart is then we're all just fucked (ao3) - egelantier T, 4k

Summary: Build a house, call it home.

I Got A Landmine In My Bloodline (ao3) - laylabinx T, 23k

Summary: Peter develops appendicitis. Yondu develops a heart. It's all very problematic.

Keep Him Warm (ao3) - Run_Ravager_Run kraglin/yondu G, 2k

Summary: The puppy pile fix-it fic we all deserve.

Life, Love, Empire and Cake (ao3) - manic_intent thor/peter T, 45k

Summary: Peter Quill's mom had (as far as he remembered) always been a sweet, gentle and kindly soul. As such, he had grown up convinced that his father must have been, by way of cosmic balance, an asshole, and 100% a dick.

After all, Peter had to have inherited that particular character flaw from someone.

Mine is Just a Slower Sacrifice (ao3) - grayintogreen G, 2k

Summary: And Rocket?

Rocket picks up the pieces. For the second time, because this is what he does now.

mr. blue sky, please tell us why (you had to hide away for so long) (ao3) - willinplaid gamora/peter T, 49k

Summary: He had spent his entire life thinking of his father as sort of an abstract concept, a guy who was out there but that he would probably never meet. And here he was, sort of an abstract concept after all. An abstract concept and a complete dick.

Peter goes to Ego's planet on his own, a terrible idea. The rest of the Guardians don't take kindly to Peter getting hurt.

sharper than a serpent's tooth (ao3) - juurensha gamora/peter T, 6k

Summary: Gamora always thought the hardest part would be getting away from Thanos. It turns out it may be learning to get along with the others.

someone is friendless, and cannot find their way (so I keep a light in my window) (ao3) - philthestone gamora/peter T, 6k

Summary: She’d had her own room, yes, because thank the stars Peter had the sense to move some of his junk out of the various hidey holes in the ship into the cargo bay on the assumption that they would all kill each other within the week if they didn’t have their own spaces, but she’d been stuck in a modified M-ship built for half the number of people it was housing, and her housemates were a motley assortment of questionably sane males and a baby tree.

Things aren’t all that different now, except for a few significant changes:

The Quadrant is definitely bigger than an M-ship; Mantis is here, trying her best to learn how to smile and keeping on a pair of gloves Gamora had dug out of her own bag for her; and Gamora is … comfortable.

the breath and the dirt and the fires are burned (ao3) - neverwherever T, 42k

Summary: After it's over, Thor heads off-world with the Guardians of the Galaxy, but he's still got a long way to go. Meanwhile, Peter searches for Gamora, Gamora searches for herself, and Loki... well, we'll see.

The Fault in Distant Stars (ao3) - Donatello7 T, 11k

Summary: Prompt fill for LilRed7503

'peter abused back on earth, by someone don't care who. With the ravagers he's terrified not because they kidnapped him but because their adults. It takes Yondu no time at all to figure out, especially since Peter keeps flinching expecting a slap. Yondu + ravagers prove to Peter that nothing is his fault and he didn't deserve it'

The Four Times Peter Made One of the Guardians Fall A Little Bit in Love with Him (ao3) - bukkunkun team/peter T, 12k

Summary: (And the One Time He Learned to Love Himself)

Fill for a prompt on the kinkmeme:

Each of the Guardians falls just a little bit in love with Peter during various missions, flights or downtimes.

#themculibrary #peter quill #gamora #nebula #rocket raccoon #groot #drax the destroyer #mantis #guardians of the galaxy #guardians of the galaxy masterlist #masterlists

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shyficwriter · 3 years

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Temporary Home: Chapter 15

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Guardians (With Yondu and Kraglin!)

Summary: Peter and you have started another prank war. Who will come out on top?

Previous Chapter here | Next Chapter Here Or click here to: Start From Beginning

Author’s Note: Thanks to anon for submitting this idea for a cute fluffy scene to include in the story! Also, for my records this chapter ends on day 29 of the Guardians living with reader. Enjoy!

Word Count: 6,812

It soon became clear that the prank war was back on.

Just as you had resolved to the previous night, you squirted lemon juice in Peter's coffee when he wasn't looking.

He made a face upon tasting his ruined coffee, but just gave you a look of sleepy contempt as he dumped it in the sink rather than complaining. He knew what he had done to deserve it. However, that didn't mean he wasn't going to get you back.

He had his revenge later in the sitting room. He called you over, stating he had a question about a book. When you got closer to him, he then asked, "Hey, do you smell popcorn?"

You raised an eyebrow, and of course took in a big whiff. Big mistake.

You immediately gagged, your nostrils having been assaulted by the rankest smelling fart you think could have ever been expelled from a human body. It even rivaled Yondu's incident with dairy.

Peter lost it, doubling over with laughter as you backed away with your mouth and nose covered.

"Ugh! You nasty fecker! Oh my god!" you cried out, still backing away. "What's wrong with you!"

Kraglin, Drax, and Rocket were now also laughing from their places near the television. Drax laughed the loudest, saying, "Quill! That was brilliant! I'm not even mad that I lost the bet! HAHAHA! I'm going to try that!"

The bet he was referencing had happened moments prior, when Peter saw you in the hall and hurried into the sitting room whispering to his friends that he bet 20 units he could make you willingly smell his farts. Ah, what an immature lot they are.

You would have smacked Peter, but that would mean getting closer to him and the smell and you thought better of it, instead turning with the intent to leave the room completely, leaving them still laughing in your wake with only revenge on your mind.

You tried to think about what you had at your disposal, and remembered that you still had the whoopee cushion after you had snatched it back from Kraglin during the last prank war. You kind of wish you knew where your spider went though. It proved marvelously effective last time. After Peter threw it at you and it resulted in your arm getting injured, you hadn't really thought about what happened to it afterwards until now. You obviously hadn't taken it, so you just assumed that it must still be with Peter. You momentarily considered looking in his room for it, but the thought of searching through his stuff felt strange to you, even if you would be looking for your own toy.

You remembered the sticky notes in your desk up stairs and thought if worse came to worse, you could always pull a classic "Kick me" sign.

You decided a walk might help you consider your options better and so you collected your earbuds from the hall table and made your way towards the back door. You noticed Gamora in the kitchen on your way, and realized she might actually have the answer to one of your questions.

"Um, hey, Gamora?"

She turned to give you her attention. "Yes?"

"I was wondering..." You suddenly felt ridiculous for asking, but pushed it down, "if maybe you had seen if Peter still had that toy spider of mine? I was wondering if I might have it ba-"

"Nuh-uh. That ain't happening."

You raised an eyebrow in surprise, but not at her, for she hadn't been the one to answer, and she was just as surprised by this sudden third-party interjection.

It had been Yondu who had spoken, and he spoke again. "I'm the one that's got it, and I ain't givin' it back." He sat at the table looking at you with his arms crossed and wearing a smirk, as if daring you to complain about it. He had snatched it the night you dislocated your elbow, around the time he was scolding Peter and Kraglin and calling an end to that prank war himself after it had resulted in an injury.

You raised both eyebrows in surprise now. "Excuse you?" you say, surprised at his boldness and a bit irritated at how he now seemed like a scolding teacher who had confiscated contraband from a naughty child.

"Yondu, you can't just steal her property." Gamora chided.

"Ya heard me. Last time she and Quill had it that happened," he gestured to your arm. "So I'm keeping it since clearly neither of the two of 'em seem to have any sense. She wouldn't be askin' for it back if they weren't gettin' into it again."

You exchanged a look with Gamora. Her expression told you that she seemed to agree with his argument, but didn't want to risk saying so, and that she now seemingly regretted being involved in this situation.

Deciding you were on your own you opened your mouth to tell him off, but before you could he spoke again.

"Don't try denyin' it either. I saw ya putting that sour juice stuff in his coffee. I know the two of ya are back at it again with that prank war stuff," he said almost smugly. "Ya ain't getting it back." He didn't want another prank war to result in more injuries, and if he was honest, he was still slightly salty about having been caught in the crossfire of one of your pranks that had been meant for Peter. He thought outright admitting to confiscating your spider toy would hopefully send the message to you to knock it off before you got started.

You bit your lips and narrowed your eyes at him, half embarrassed at being called out like that. You then shook your head. You were not about to demand or beg for the return of a rubber spider like a child. You straightened your back slightly and said, "Whatever. Keep it then. Don't care." in your best flippant tone. You turned away, putting in your earbuds and added, "Going for a walk. Try not to burn the house down," as you exited out the back door and left the two of them in the kitchen.

You didn't need that spider anyways.

***

It was a cooler day out, overcast in a way that made you think it might rain that night, and you were glad you thought to grab a jacket before you left for your walk. You thought you might visit your old tree, and assess that old door while you were out there. There wasn't a whole lot you could do with your arm still in a brace, but you knew you could still at least open it and give it a general look to see what you might need to build a new door for it.

However, when you got there you quickly realized that the door was simply too awkwardly big and slightly too flimsy due to decay from the elements to risk trying to open it with just one arm. You didn't want to risk falling in it and either causing further injury and/or not be able to climb back out if it turned out the ladder rungs descending into the tunnel were bad too. You were now kicking yourself for not having fixed it months ago when you first noticed how bad it had gotten. At least at that period of time your arm wasn't in a brace and you didn't have eight houseguests to worry about.

You sighed. For now you settled on making a list in your phone of the different materials you'd need to make a sturdier door in the future when you were less... indisposed. No big deal. The world wasn't going to end if you couldn't fix it immediately, and honestly it was probably dumb of you to come out there right now in the first place. Sure, maybe you could get the door built in your current state. Maybe. If no one was around to see you breaking the doctor's orders on the weight restriction and then tell on you to Fury. But that didn't change the fact that you'd then need to carry it out there somehow. Something you definitely couldn't do in your current state. There was perhaps the option to bring the materials out there and assemble them on-sight, but you knew you couldn't carry them out there in a timely fashion either. Could you if you asked for help? Absolutely. Were you going to? Not a chance.

You hung out around the tree for a bit, just listening to music before deciding to head back, and that's when you noticed some pine cones littering the ground.

This gave you an idea. You remembered once when you were little and your dad took you and your brother camping. Your brother had hidden pinecones in the bottom of your sleeping bag. Your feet came in contact with the foreign objects, and being met with weird almost scaly feeling forms instead of the softness of your sleeping bag made you jump right out of said bag with a shriek.

You grinned. You had found your revenge prank. You only hoped that it would have the same effect on a grown man finding these at the foot of his bed as it did on seven-year-old you finding them in your sleeping bag.

Now you had another reason to be glad you wore a jacket. You could hide the pinecones in the pockets as well as hiding them inside the jacket itself and zip them inside.

You loaded up several pinecones. Enough to be sure he'd notice when crawling into bed, but not so many that they'd be noticed as you snuck them into the house.

You arrive back at the house to find the house mostly quiet, and it made you worry that Peter might be in his room and you wouldn't be able to place the pinecones.

However, just to your luck, you managed to catch a glimpse of him and a few others out front through the kitchen window. Perfect.

You quickly make your way upstairs and headed towards Peter's room. The upstairs seemed to be empty and you were just about to congratulate yourself on your good fortune as you already started pulling pinecones out of your pockets, until you noticed Rocket standing in Peter and Gamora's room.

Seeing him caused you to start and you dropped a couple of your pinecones on the ground due to your arm brace hampering your ability to reflexively catch them before they fell. The sound of the pinecones hitting the floor caused Rocket to startle in turn.

"Uh..." you said awkwardly, stepping into the room and picking up your pinecones, "What you doing?"

Rocket, who had been digging through a dresser drawer, responded with, "...Nuttin. What are you doing?" He eyed the pinecones in your hands.

"Nothing." You responded.

An awkward silence fell for a moment. You both knew the other wasn't really supposed to be there, that the only reason for being there right then was mischief of some sort, and you both knew that the other knew that you knew. There was only one thing for it.

Rocket spoke again. "Right..."

You nod. "Yes... good. So... carry on then?"

Rocket nodded slowly. "Yeah..." He turned back to looking for whatever it was he was snooping for.

Taking the hint, the unspoken 'I won't tell if you won't," you carried out your plan, removing the pinecones from your jacket and placing them at the foot of Peter's bed under the blankets.

You finished quickly, catching Rocket's gaze again before you left. A silent nod was all that was exchanged and you were on your way.

***

The rest of the day was mostly uneventful. You read, you listened to music, you got roped into a game of Monopoly that went on far too long because Mantis kept needing reminded of the rules. You didn't entire blame her. It was pretty obvious that it was everyone but Peter's first time playing.

Speaking of Peter, you were surprised he hadn't tried to mess with you the entire game, and you wondered if Gamora might have got on him after hearing Yondu say he could tell that the two of you were starting in on another prank war, or if Yondu had scolded him himself.

Sometime after the game had finished- Gamora won, and Peter pouted- you went to get a drink from the kitchen. When you returned to the sitting room to grab another book to bring upstairs to read you saw Drax approach Yondu and ask, "Yondu, do you smell popcorn?"

Not wanting to sit through another round of what Peter had done to you that morning, you quickly grab a random Sci-Fi/Fantasy book from the shelf and turn to get out of there just in time to hear Yondu reply with, "What the hell is popcorn?"

This was immediately followed by the sound of a very loud fart along with Drax's booming laughter.

In startled surprise you sharply turned in their direction to see Drax laughing and Yondu's face scrunched in both confusion and what was likely disgust.

Peter was laughing too, but at Drax rather than Yondu's misfortunate proximity to his offender. "Drax! Buddy, the fart's supposed to be silent."

Drax didn't seem to mind his mistake, just simply responded with "Ohhh!" and continued to laugh while Yondu shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

Taking in the sight you couldn't help but giggle too at just how ridiculous the situation was. You brought a hand up to your mouth to suppress it, but the sound caught the attention of Yondu and Peter anyway. Yondu's eyes narrowed and Peter was pleasantly surprised that you found the situation funny as well.

You broke their gaze and retreated to your room. Better to escape before you risked smelling anything awful.

***

It wasn't hard to tell when Peter found what was waiting in his bed that night. However, instead of girlish screams like the night he found the spider, he let out a cry of, "Gah! What the hell!?"

You grinned as you sat on your bed reading your book. Mantis was already fast asleep in her bed, and she stirred at the sound of Peter's cries just on the other side of the wall. After looking toward you and seeing you sitting calmly she determined there must not be any danger and soon fell back to sleep.

A few minutes later, though, you were surprised to see Peter walking into your room.

Startled at the sudden intrusion you jolted and as he approached you, rather quickly at that, you said, "Hey- what are you doing?"

He stopped in front of you with a smirk and raised his arms. It was then you realized he had been carrying a shirt bunched up as if it were being used as a sack.

Unceremoniously he emptied the shirt/sack over your head, showering you with all the pinecones you had hid in his bed.

"Hey!" you complain, raising your good arm to shield your head from the coniferous onslaught.

Mantis stirred again, lifting her head to see what was going on.

"This is for leaving those in my bed." he laughed, turning to leave. "And don't think that counts as me getting you back!" he added as he stepped out the door.

Mantis yet again laid back down to rest upon seeing the disturbance was just Peter's shenanigans. You got the feeling that she must be used to it.

***

The next couple days were mostly spent with you and Peter battling back and forth via small pranks.

Yondu obviously noticed, and despite him acting like he didn't want the two of you to get started again, he didn't say or do anything to stop it. It was clear it was keeping your mind off what what had been bothering you, so he just let the two of you be. Especially as it seemed to be harmless.

Kraglin mostly stayed out of it this time. Sure, he helped Peter some, but he was still more likely to bend to Yondu's orders of "This prank war is over!" from last time. That, and he still felt bad about what happened with the incident with the spider, even if it had been mostly Peter's idea.

Peter got you with the old 'shoulder tap misdirection' a couple times, where he'd tap one shoulder and either be on the other side when you turned to look, or have walked away completely.

You hit back by turning the batteries backwards in the remote, knowing he'd likely be the first to use it that morning.

After he finally figured that one out, he decided he'd retaliate by turning all your books backwards on the shelf. When you walked in that evening to see him mid-prank, you simply sighed and rolled your eyes. Seemingly embarrassed to have been caught mid-prank he laughed nervously and straightened up, rubbing the back of his head.

You rolled your eyes and left the room, hoping that since he'd been caught he'd then turn them back right way round. Knowing it was unlikely, you decided to shove some newspaper in his shoes. You could hear Drax in the background laughing at Peter for getting caught as you walked away to retrieve an old newspaper from the table in the hall.

He clearly must have found it at some point the next morning because he got you back around lunchtime by pouring just a little bit of water in your seat right before you sat down to eat.

You jumped from your seat the moment you felt the cold water soak the left side of your ass and after a few seconds of reaching back to feel the wet spot and checking the chair you looked over to where he was sitting and narrowed your eyes.

He simply grinned at you like he had pulled the best prank ever.

Taking a breath, you straightened and just shook your head, warning him that he shouldn't escalate unless he wanted you to do the same.

He didn't seem to take your warning seriously.

***

The next morning when getting ready you saw that Peter had struck again. You didn't know when, or how he had managed to find the time to both sew a pair of your socks shut halfway down with sloppy grey stitches and place them back in your dresser (on top so they'd be first picked, of course) without you noticing, but you did know that this meant double war.

He had pranked you twice in a row, without waiting for you to have retaliated against his last prank first. Or, more likely, he had set this prank and then pulled another without waiting for you to find the first one. Tsk, Tsk, Peter. Bad form.

You found another pair of socks, luckily he had only bothered to adulterate one pair, and then went to confront him.

"You're really asking for it." you say, thrusting the socks towards him in the hall.

"What?" he asked. Trying to act innocent, no doubt.

"You sewed my socks shut. I warned you, don't escalate unless you want me to do the same."

There wasn't really any anger in your voice despite your warning tone, which Peter took as a good sign. "I didn't escalate-"

"Oh-ho! Don't try that with me! You double pranked!" As the words left your mouth you internally cringed. This reminded you of how the two of you had bickered like children in the grocery store. You pushed the feeling that you sounded like a teenager in a Disney sitcom aside for now.

Peter eyed you for a moment before crossing his arms and smugly replying, "Technically no. You interrupted my book prank and then stuffed paper in my shoes. So, because I technically didn't finish my prank, you double pranked."

"No-" you started.

"Yes." He laughed. "So if anyone escalated, it was you." He said in a teasing voice, aiming a couple pokes to your abdomen and making you flinch back at the touch.

"I did not!" you argued, smacking his hand away.

"Eh... ya kinda did..." he drawled out with a grin. "So, I think that means you gave permission for all unwritten rules of pranking to just be thrown out the window." He chuckled, a mischievous glint to his eyes.

"No-" you said warningly. "I did not." You could tell he was just trying to piss you off, but you weren't going to let him win.

"Yeah, I think you did..." He lightly laughed. "So anything else that happens... you'll only have yourself to blame." He said the last bit in a sing-songy voice and went to walk into the kitchen. He stopped momentarily and turned back to you with a grin. "However, you can always avoid any further annoyance by just declaring me the prank master..."

You blinked at him. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Declare I'm the prank master and you won't have to worry about what I'll do next."

You scoffed at him. "You're dreaming."

Peter grinned wider. "Nope. I'm just 'The Prank Master.'"

You narrowed your eyes and walked past him into the kitchen. "You're gonna regret that," you warned, earning only a chuckle from him. There was no way you were going to declare him master of anything.

You made your way to the pantry to find something quick for breakfast and Peter went to pour himself some coffee.

That's when you found it. Your next prank idea. And boy, was it going to be good.

While grabbing a pop-tart from the pantry, you happened to notice a certain box of gel food dye sitting next to your spices. Your eyes lit up, knowing exactly what you would do with it. You quickly pocketed the blue vile and hid the rest of the box behind the spices where it couldn't be seen for security purposes, just in case Peter would happen to have the same idea. You weren't going to do it right away, but knew it couldn't hurt to have the little bottle on hand just in case...

***

After breakfast you decided to head out to the shed to survey the pile of spare wood you had.

In the shed you found Rocket. This wasn't surprising as he spent a decent amount of time tinkering in the shed since you showed him the workshop. You still hadn't gotten around to finding the spare key for him, just letting him continue to use yours since there wasn't a lot you could do out there anyway until you got the brace off anyway.

You greeted him with a simple, "Hey," that Rocket returned as you made your way back to the spare wood to look over what you had on hand as far as repairing the old tunnel door to get an idea of what might you need to pick up from town.

Was it useful to look now seeing as you likely wouldn't get the brace off for at least a couple more weeks? No, but you were restless and you were really just looking for an excuse for something to do until that night when you could enact your prank.

"Whatcha doing?" Rocket asked, barely looking up from whatever plans he was drafting up on the old pad of paper you left out in the workshop.

"Nuttin," you reply, finishing up your shifting around of the wood and determining that you might have just enough of the right cuts already out there to make a full door, but you might need to pick up some more wood for it, as well as some brackets, later.

Rocket grunted in response and you start to walk back out when something caught your eye over by the long workbench.

You looked down to examine it, and a slight smile played on your lips.

"Did you fix my stool?" you asked, turning to him.

He didn't look up. "Nope."

You raise an eyebrow, mouth twitching upwards in humor. "Oh really? Then who did, if not you? Other than me, you're the only one who comes out here."

Rocket's gaze remained on the notebook. "Dunno. Must have been a 'stool fairy.'" Those last two words were laced with sarcasm.

You smirked. "Ah. I see. Well if you happen to see this 'stool faery,' be sure to tell him I said thank you." You turn and begin to walk out of the shed.

Rocket's ears twitched back for just a second and he grunted out in response, "Uh huh. Sure thing."

***

Unfortunately the stars didn't align that night for you to use the gel coloring on Peter. You had to time it just right to both make sure no one got caught in the crossfire and to not make it obvious you were up to something.

This, however, was probably for the best because Fury's visit the next day caught you off guard. You had been so busy pranking and being pranked and researching door construction and tunnel maintenance that you had managed to lose track of the days and didn't realize it was time for another weekly check-in until you heard him knock at the door that late afternoon. The sound actually startled you at first, and you mentally cursed him for insisting on keeping the times he'd show up a surprise.

Again, probably for the best you weren't able to pull that prank. You weren't sure how pleased Fury would be with you if he saw what you had planned to do to Peter if you had succeeded in going through with it.

The visit was brief. Same old news about the Guardian's situation; nothing changed, little to no progress made. It was time to re-stock the rations again and the guys helped Maria with that like last time. The doctor also accompanied them, and of course he ignored your case for removing the brace and instead just set the hinge to a slightly increased range of movement. He did say that as long as you continued your 'good behavior' it might be ready to come off the next week. You weren't going to hold your breath. Oh, and he also increased your weight restriction to ten pounds. Yay...

At one point Agent Hill pulled you aside like last time, wanting to check in to see if matters regarding your mental health had improved since the last visit.

You answered honestly that they had, but didn't bother to mention that the reason why was likely because Peter had managed to keep you annoyed enough that you didn't have time to dedicate enough thought to what had previously been bothering you.

She tried to pry more, but you weren't really giving her anything, so she just resigned that what she had been able to garner was good enough and the two of you rejoined the group just before Fury announced they would be leaving.

***

It didn't take long after they left for Peter to resume being his annoying self.

You were in the sitting room trying to read, but Peter kept singing along to a song on his Zune that he had come to realize you absolutely hated. To make matters worse, it seemed that he was intentionally singing as poorly as he could just to annoy you. He even got Kraglin to join in with him.

How could you tell it was just to annoy you? Well it didn't start with the singing. It started with tapping. Constant tapping. With his foot on the floor. With his knuckles on the coffee table. He even came up behind you at one point after you refused to react and started tapping you on the head as you sat curled on the sofa attempting to read. That one finally got you to react and scold him to knock it off, and that's when he switched to singing.

Of course, you told him to take it somewhere else. Did he listen? No. He instead moved to sit right next to you and sang louder.

You threatened to chop him in the throat if he didn't take his annoying self somewhere else, and while that got him to stand up, he didn't leave. Instead that's when he recruited Kraglin, who had walked in just a few moments prior to see what all the racket was, and who also didn't hesitate to accept an earbud from Peter and follow his lead.

You tossed your head back on the sofa in frustration and let out a growl as you gritted your teeth.

Peter broke his singing to laugh and tell you that he warned you, all you had to do to make it stop was admit his was the master.

And that's when you threw the pillow at him.

Well, you had been aiming for him, at least. You would have hit him too, had he not dodged at the last second, allowing for the pillow to instead smack Yondu, who no one had noticed had walked into the room, right in the face.

Your eyes widen, as do Peter's and Kraglin's. Only they're trying not to laugh as Yondu's stony face stares at you.

In your startled shock you stammer as you attempt to make an apology, but as he picks the pillow up from the floor all you are actually able to get out is, "I- Uh- I didn't mean-" and a nervous giggle.

Yondu stands back up, pillow now in his hands, and cocks his head at you. "Oh so ya think that's funny, huh?" He starts to walk towards you.

You of course deny it, trying to set the record straight that it had been meant for Peter, but the glint of a playful grin mixed with his grouchy façade made you unable to suppress a nervous grin as he approached. He then tossed the pillow back at you and you deflected it back onto the sofa.

"Nah, I think ya thought that was funny, even if it was meant for my boy." He was standing over you now and Peter and Kraglin were snickering as Peter encouraged him, saying that he thought you definitely thought it was funny to have hit Yondu with the pillow.

"Looks like someone needs to teach ya a lesson in manners, missy." Yondu said as he reached out and squeezed rapidly right above your knee.

Caught off guard you instantly throw back your head and cackle, your hands instinctively reaching for his as you kicked out. "No! Stop it!" you cry out between giggles before managing to free yourself and stand up from the sofa.

Abandoning your book you attempt to escape, but Yondu just grabs you by your good arm and pulls you back, effortlessly succeeding in securing you in a headlock and purposely arranging it so that your good arm was between the two of you and your braced arm was out to the open. He knew with the limited range of motion the braced arm had available you wouldn't really be able to use it to help free yourself in any meaningful way. He then proceeded to give you a noogie.

"Hey! Cut it out!" you complain, uselessly pushing against his shoulder from behind with your good arm. You cursed your arm brace. Without it you could have gotten out of this hold in 3 seconds tops. You still technically could, but didn't want to use that method unless you had to. You didn't want to risk hurting the older man, after all.

Yondu paused a moment and pretended to think. "...Nah. I didn't get an apology yet."

"Ugh! Fine! I'm sorry about the pillow! Happy? I already told you I meant it for Pe-TER!" You squeaked when Kraglin cheekily couldn't resist coming up to pinch your ribs in your current vulnerable state. "Knock that off!" you ordered. It of course only earned you another tickly squeeze from the first mate and the three men to laugh as you commanded Yondu to let you go before you made him.

"Ya ain't gonna make me do nuttin, missy." Yondu laughed, clearly believing he could take you in a fight any day even if your arm wasn't injured. "Where's my apology for when ya pranked the sink and it sprayed all over me?" Yondu asked with a mischievous chuckle. He then pinched your nose shut just to mess with you further. This prompted you to smack his shoulder with your good hand, but he did let go, laughing about how you were a 'feisty one.'

"Yeah," Peter egged on for the sink comment, laughing. "He yelled at me for that!"

You huff out a sigh. "Fine. Sorry for that too. Now this is your last warning to let me go!"

This only made Yondu and the other two laugh and Yondu went to noogie you again. Clearly they were underestimating you. Well, you did try to give him a warning...

In one quick motion you positioned your foot between his so that your leg was locked behind his thigh, reached your good arm up to rest your hand on his forehead, and threw your weight backwards, sending you both to the floor.

Yondu went easily, clearly having been caught off guard and landed on his back with an "oof!" and subsequently released you. Surprisingly though, he didn't seem angry about landing on the floor.

As you both sit up he was actually chuckling, to your surprise.

"Damn, didn't think ya had that in ya." Yondu laughed as he stood up.

Peter and Kraglin, who had went momentarily silent when the two of you fell, were now laughing again. Kraglin made a joke about how he didn't know you could actually fight.

You just grumbled and grabbed your book, deciding you would retreat to your room to finish reading for the night where you were less likely to be annoyed.

Ironically, the whole ordeal actually caused you to forget about the prank you had intended to pull on Peter until you again missed your chance to do it. Oh well, there was always tomorrow, right?

***

The next day you announced to those in the kitchen that you were making a run into town and told them if there was anything they needed to let you know now while you were making a list.

They didn't list-off much. Again, SHIELD provided them with pretty much everything they needed. Some razors, hair conditioner, lotion, and a couple requests for some Earth snacks they had come to enjoy were among the items requested. Simple stuff.

Then Yondu decided to be cheeky and claim his request was for you to take Peter with you again.

"No way," you say flatly, remembering the last run into town. "Not happening."

Yondu just grinned and leaned against his chair. "Fury said ya got to. Ya can't leave without a buddy 'til yer arm is healed up." He elbowed Kraglin and added, "Didn't he, Krags?"

Kraglin, clearly not expecting to be suddenly roped into the conversation said, "Uh, yeah. When you was in the other room talking to that Miss Agent Hill lady when they was here yesterday. He-uh- he told us then." He wasn't exactly the best liar.

You narrowed your eyes. "He did not." You looked to Gamora, who seemingly then immediately realized she had anywhere else to be before you could ask her to confirm.

"Ya can always ask him yerself." Yondu smirked, sure that like last time you wouldn't dare call Fury to confirm.

"Or I can not do that because I know he didn't," you countered.

"I wouldn't be too hasty girl," Yondu drawled. "'Cause what if I'm right? Ya leave without a buddy, and we can just call him and tell him ya broke his rules... and well, we all know what he said he'd do with ya if ya did that."

"You know, I didn't really take you to be such a snitch." You say, irritation clear in your voice. You knew it was at best childish, and at worst fighting words, but you were too frustrated to care.

Instead of being offended, Yondu just laughed and leaned back with his hands folded behind his head. "Gotta do something to pass the time. 'Sides, I think 'blackmail' has a nicer ring to it than 'snitchin'."

You glare at him, not giving him the satisfaction of telling him that he was technically right. This wasn't him being a snitch. This was blackmail. You just didn't understand why this was the hill he decided to die on.

He continued. "Yer better off to just save yerself the trouble and take Peter."

You eye him for a bit before deciding this time you would call his bluff. Partially because you knew he was lying, but also because a tiny part of you was afraid he wasn't, and you knew what would happen if he wasn't.

You dialed up Fury, knowing that the consequences for possibly annoying him with a dumb phone call were vastly less than what they'd be if you disobeyed an order, especially since you were already skating on thin ice. He also seemed to be less upset with you lately due to your 'good behavior,' so at least you had that going fo you. You almost thought you saw Yondu's smirk falter when you started dialing. Almost.

To your surprise, Fury answered after only a couple rings. You put the phone on speaker, and inform him your reason for calling was to confirm something that had been said.

"They're trying to tell me that when Agent Hill pulled me aside yesterday you instructed them to tell me that, under your orders, I am not allowed to drive into town without taking someone with me until my arm heals. Is that correct?"

Fury was quiet a moment before he answered, his voice seeming neutral. "I did not say that."

Yondu and Kraglin's faces fell slightly, and like a child you made a quiet, "Ha!" noise and stuck your tongue out at them, but before you could thank him, Fury spoke again.

"But I am now."

Your eyes widened and shot back to the phone, as if you'd be able to see your director in there. "I'm sorry, what?"

Yondu burst out laughing at your expression, and Kraglin joined in with a grin.

"Effective immediately I'm requiring you to bring a companion on any trips you make into town. Mr. Quill would be the safest choice, but as long as they pass for human, I don't care who it is."

You tried not to sputter. "Sir-... that-... Why-??"

"It's not a bad idea," he said cooly, adding, "and if you're gonna call me to settle a petty squabble then you better be prepared to get an outcome you aren't going to like." He didn't sound angry, more just matter-of-fact.

You blinked. Did he really just imply he was doing this just to annoy you? "Sir, I ask you to reconsid-"

"If you want to keep going, Agent, I can easily make this decision permanent."

This set off another round of laughter from the guys, including Peter from behind you who had walked into the kitchen with Gamora at some point. You didn't know how long they were standing there, but it seemed he had also heard Fury's decision.

With slight heat in your cheeks, you respond to your director. "No, sir."

"Good. Have a good day, Agent." Fury replied, and then hung up. If you didn't know better, you'd say his tone sounded almost amused.

You put the phone back in your pocket and rubbed your hand over your eyes while the others teased you.

"That's what ya get for not just listenin' to me in the first place, girl. Now ya really do have to do it!" Yondu laughed.

"I hate you," you say bluntly.

He only grinned in response and called over to Peter. "Ya heard the man, boy! Looks like yer takin' a trip!"

Peter grinned cheekily at you and you roll your eyes. "Fine. Get ready," you order as you walk past him and out of the kitchen. Then, seeing an opportunity to let out some frustration (probably misplaced in this instance, honestly) you turned back with a smirk and added, "This time don't forget to go potty before we leave!"

You turned away again, but not before being able to see the cheeky grin fall from his face and hear him yell back, "Not cool, dude!" along with some snickering from the others in the background.

Little did you know, though you probably should have, that decision to embarrass him would seal the fate of your nerves, and possibly your sanity as well, on the trip to come.

#gotg #guardians of the galaxy #gotg fanfic #gotg fanfiction #x reader #yondu udonta #peter quill #kraglin obfonteri #nick fury #rocket raccoon

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athena-athena · 4 years

Text

Heroes (Yondu x OC)

A/N: I wrote this for @bigbandbombshell‘s 400 Follower Challenge! Congratulations on 400 followers, darling! Here’s to 400 more! 💖

Summary: This fic features Yondu and my OC, Athena. Yondu has doubts about his relationship with Athena, which she tries to allay. They leave for a mission that doesn’t go as planned.

Word count: 5092

Tagged List: @rooker-character-fics @misfitgirlwrites @posessedxparrot (Let me know if you’d like to be added to / removed from my tagged list!)

Warnings: Angst. Dangerous / near-death situations.

Challenge Notes: I chose the song “Heroes” by Peter Gabriel and the following image:

Yondu stopped walking at the sound of footsteps behind him. He recognized Athena’s tread and waited for her to catch up to him.

“Where have you been?” she asked, walking around to face him.

“Jus’ some maintenance ‘round tha ship.”

“All week? I’ve rarely seen you. You don’t come back to our room until late and then you’re gone when I wake up.”

“Jus’ a lotta stuff ta take care of.”

She searched his face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.”

“Jus’ tired, I guess.”

She hesitated for a moment as she watched him. “Are you sure that’s all it is?”

“What else would it be?”

“I don’t know, you just seem… distant.”

She looked down at her hands for a moment and he noticed that she was twisting them out of nervousness. He felt a pang of regret that he’d caused it.

“Sorry, darlin’. I promise I’ll try ta finish up early tonight.”

“I’ve missed you, Yondu.”

She gave him a small smile and he felt another pang.

“I’ve missed ya, too, darlin’.”

She took a step forward and placed a sweet kiss on his lips. “Well, I know you’re busy, Captain, so I’ll let you get back to work. I’ll see you tonight?”

He didn’t miss the fact that she’d phrased it as a question and it killed him.

“I’ll see ya tonight, darlin’, don’t worry. I’ll have ‘em send something ta tha room fer supper, an’ we can spend some time together.”

“Okay!” She gave him a quick hug, then started walking backward as she said, “I told Tullk I’d help him with some stuff, so I’d better go.”

“Bye, darlin’.”

“Bye, Yondu!” She waved before turning around.

He watched her leave, sighing after she turned the corner. He walked into a mostly-unused supply closet and sat down on a crate, resting his face in his hands.

He loved Athena more than he’d loved anyone, and he hated that he couldn’t just tell her how much he loved her. How much she meant to him. Part of him kept waiting for her to leave. If he was honest with himself, he thought she should.

He’d thought about it. He’d done nothing but think about it for the past couple of weeks. Ever since he’d seen Athena talking to one of the Terran traders on one of their supply runs. It was innocent, he knew that. There had been no flirting, nothing to give him pause or make him wonder about Athena’s feelings.

But it still made him realize that she deserved someone like that trader. Someone with a steady and safe job. Someone who could provide her with a nice life, someone she had more in common with than a Ravager. Someone who could give her a house and children. Someone completely unlike Yondu.

He stood up and kicked another crate, not caring when its contents spilled across the floor.

He knew Athena deserved better, but he also knew it would kill him if she left. He wouldn’t stop her if she chose to leave, though. He wouldn’t stand in her way, even if it would feel like being stabbed by uncountable knives.

Leaving the mess he’d made, he left the supply closet and made his way to the training room. He’d talk to Athena later that night, but in the meantime, he’d work off some excess energy. He locked the door behind him, grabbed a quad blaster, then picked a target that looked suspiciously like the Terran trader.

Athena brushed her hair nervously as she waited for Yondu to get back to their room. She wasn’t sure why she was nervous, except that Yondu had been acting strange lately and it had her worried.

She started when she heard the door to their quarters open, and she took a deep breath, placing the hairbrush on the small counter in their bathroom.

She walked out to meet Yondu and was relieved to see him smiling. He pulled her into a hug and she melted into him, taking in the comforting scent of him before pulling back to grin at him.

His hands rested loosely on her hips and she leaned up on her tiptoes to kiss him as he held her steady.

When she stood in front of him again, he took her hand and led her over to one of two mismatched chairs. She sat as he pulled the other chair over next to her.

“Food’ll be here soon.”

“Okay.”

“How was yer day?”

“It was good. Just helping Tullk with some stuff. How was yours?”

“Good.”

“Are you -” Athena broke off mid-question when she heard someone knock on the door.

“That’ll be tha food. ‘Bout time, too, I’m starvin’.”

He strode to the door, took the food from whichever Ravager had carried it down from the mess hall, and brought it back to the table.

He handed a plate to Athena. “What was ya sayin’ ‘fore tha food got here?”

She took the plate and picked up a fork. “Oh, I was just going to ask if you were sure everything is okay?”

“Oh. Yeah, yeah, ever’thing’s fine.”

She bit her lip as he placed what she hoped was chicken on her plate – it was sometimes hard to tell. “It’s just… you’ve seemed so distant lately. Like you’re pulling away.”

He met her eyes across the table and sighed. “Okay, yeah. I jus’ been doin’ some thinkin’.”

“About what?”

He placed his fork on his plate and rubbed a hand down his face. “Us. Me, mostly. I mean, I jus’…”

He stood up suddenly and walked across the room, keeping his back to her.

“Yondu…”

“I jus’ ain’t good enough fer ya. I seen ya with that Terran trader an’ I jus’… I knew.”

She looked at his back in bewilderment. “Knew what?”

“That that’s what’cha deserve. A good man who probably ain’t never robbed nobody. Ain’t never killed nobody. Ain’t gonna be draggin’ ya inta danger ever’ damn day.”

“Yondu…”

“I done things in my life I ain’t proud of, things I’d be ashamed fer ya ta know ‘bout, an’ I’m afraid yer gonna find out and hate me fer it.”

“Yondu, listen to me.”

“Wouldn’t even blame ya if ya left.”

“Yondu!”

Her raised voice stunned him enough that he turned back to face her. She stood and walked over to him, though she didn’t touch him.

“Darlin’ -”

“No, you’re going to listen to me now. I may not know what all you’ve done in the past, but I do know it doesn’t change anything. I may not understand just how much you’ve suffered. I may not have ever imagined myself living with Ravagers. I may not always understand you. But I do know what you are, Yondu Udonta. You’re a good man and I love you.”

“I don’t deserve ya, darlin’, an’ you definitely deserve better’n me.”

“No.”

“What?”

“No. It’s not about what we deserve.” She took a step closer to him and placed a hand gently on his cheek. “Yondu, I need you to understand that I love you and that’s all that matters.”

He covered her hand with his and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, he smiled. “Ya mean it?”

She gave him a small smile and shook her head as she lightly pushed his chest. “Do you think I would have given that long speech while our food got cold if I didn’t mean it?”

His smile widened. “I love ya, Athena.”

“I love you, too, Yondu. Now let’s eat.”

They returned to the table, Yondu in a noticeably better mood.

He took a bite of the hopefully-chicken and said, “Mmm… this food’s good.”

Athena nodded. “It is. I have a question, though.”

“What?”

“What’s this about me deserving Terran Ted?”

“What? He’s a decent guy, got a steady job.”

“But he’s so boring. Honestly. Me and Terran Ted?”

Yondu chuckled. “Sorry, darlin’.”

She pointed her fork at him. “You’d better be.”

He grinned as he took another bite. “Got a tip ‘bout a new job today.”

“Are you going to take it?”

“Probably. Be worth it if we can pull it off. I ain’t ever been ta that planet before, but the tip’s pretty detailed an’ my informant gave me a key to get into tha place. Think I got enough info ta take it on.”

“Sounds good. When are we going?”

“Thinkin’ tha day after tomorrow.”

She nodded. “I’ll go practice my shooting.”

“Ya ain’t gotta go, ya know. Probably best if ya stay here on tha ship. Ya ain’t actually been on a mission yet.”

Her brows creased as she lowered her fork. “I can’t go?”

“Well, I mean, I ain’t gonna stop ya if ya really wanna go, but I don’t think it’s a good idea. We need ta start ya out on a easy mission first.”

“You said the tip was detailed. Does it seem like it will be a hard mission?”

“Well, it’s hard ta say.”

“What do you think?”

“Uh, it’s probably gonna be pretty straightforward. Jus’ can’t say fer sure.”

“Well, I want to go.”

He sighed as she glared at him. “Fine. But I still don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Placated, she offered him a small smile. “I’ll be fine, Yondu. I’ve been practicing using the quad blaster, and I’ve gotten better. And you’ll be there!”

He returned her smile and shook his head slightly. “Yer right, darlin’. It’s gonna be fine.”

They landed on Ebrion two days later, and Yondu was unexpectedly nervous.

“Ya got yer quad blaster?”

“Yes.”

“An’ yer spare blaster?”

“Yes.”

“An ya remember how to use ‘em?”

Athena rolled her eyes. “Yes, Yondu, I remember how to use my blasters.”

“Good, that’s good.”

“Yondu, relax, it’s going to be fine.”

“Yeah, yer right. What can go wrong? I mean, it’s a deserted planet, right?”

“Right.”

“An’ the map we got fer inside the cave is pretty detailed.”

“Exactly.”

“In an’ out, no problem.”

She nodded. “No problem.”

Yondu sighed and pulled her in for a hug. “Somethin’ jus’ feels off.”

She wrapped her arms around him. “What could feel off?”

“Dunno. Jus’ a feelin’.”

She leaned back so she could see his face. “Do you normally get feelings before missions?”

“Sometimes.”

“Are you normally right?”

“Most of tha time.”

She bit her lip. “What do you think is wrong this time?”

“Dunno,” he repeated. “Maybe it’s a good idea if ya stay on tha ship.”

Her brows creased. “No! We’ve already discussed this. I’m coming with you.”

Sighing, he replied, “Fine, fine.”

“It’s going to be okay, Yondu.” She leaned up and kissed him, smiling as she pulled away. “We’ll be fine.”

After organizing the crew into three separate groups, Yondu led his group across an empty field.

“Map says there’ll be a stone buildin’ that’s painted blue on tha other side of that hill. It’ll be down in a valley. Then we’ll jus’ follow these directions down ta tha door. Says it’ll be wooden, also painted blue, with a door knocker.”

“Ya still got a bad feelin’ ‘bout this place, Cap’n?” asked Kraglin.

Yondu nodded. “Yeah, reckon so.”

Athena caught up to Yondu and said quietly, “But you said the planet was deserted. What could go wrong?”

“Lots a things. But don’t worry, darlin’. If anythin’ goes wrong, Kraglin has orders ta get ya back ta tha ship safely.”

“If something goes wrong, I’m going to stay and help.”

“No, ya ain’t.”

“Yondu, I thought we’d -”

Yondu stopped walking and held out an arm to stop Athena. “Did ya hear that?”

“No.”

He looked around at the crew members with him. “Y’all hear anythin’?”

Most of the crew looked confused, but Tullk nodded. “Mighta heard somethin’, Cap’n. Can’t be sure.”

“Let’s go, but quieter now.”

They moved forward without speaking until they finally crested the hill and headed down into the valley.

“There’s tha stone buildin’.”

Kraglin shivered. “Looks mighty creepy jus’ sittin’ down there by itself, don’t it?”

They made their way down, and as they moved closer to the building, Yondu checked in with the other two groups. Once he’d confirmed both groups were in position, he motioned his group to follow him again.

They moved through the labyrinthine paths, Yondu checking the map occasionally, until they reached the blue, wooden door with the knocker.

“This is it. I want y’all to stay back with yer weapons out. Some of y’all can fan out back ta tha end of tha path. Athena, I want ya stayin’ close ta me.”

She nodded without speaking, Yondu’s nervousness rubbing off on her.

He moved forward toward the door, pulling the key out of his pocket. He inserted it into the lock, trying to turn it. His brows creased as he tried again, then once more. The lock wasn’t stuck. It was worse than that. Far worse.

“Damn!” Yondu pounded a fist against the door.

“What?” Athena asked.

“Damn it!”

“What is it?”

“It’s a false door.”

“It’s a what?”

“A false door! There ain’t nothin’ inside. There ain’t no artifact. It’s a damn trap.”

It was a trap. A trap. How had he fallen for such an obvious setup? And worse yet, he’d brought Athena with him, into danger and death – the one thing he swore he’d never do.

Yondu ran a hand down his face as he considered the implications. He didn’t know who would want to set him up, though he was sure that were plenty who did, but not knowing who made it harder to come up with a plan.

Athena was watching him nervously, biting the inside of her cheek, and Yondu tried to keep his face blank.

She flinched as someone fired a gun somewhere above them, and Yondu wanted nothing more than to protect her. He hated himself for putting her in this position. She’d done nothing to deserve this, and yet here she was, paying the price for all he’d done wrong in his life.

The rest of his crew had headed back up the path to join the fighting at the first sign of gunfire.

“Sorry,” he said gruffly.

She looked at him in confusion. “What?”

“Sorry I got us into this mess, sorry I ain’t a better man fer ya. Ya deserve -”

“Yondu, are we really having this conversation again? Right now?”

“I know what’cha said, an’ -”

“Were you not listening? I love you, Yondu. I don’t care what you’ve done in the past. It doesn’t matter to me.”

“But -”

“No! Just stop. I love you, Yondu, and that means all of you. I can’t make you believe it, but I’ll do my best to prove it to you every day.”

Yondu grabbed Athena and pulled her as close as he could, his lips on hers before she could even process what was happening. Even with the guns firing above their heads, even with being on the wrong side of the door, the deadly side of the door, she couldn’t help but melt into him, into the rightness of him.

A bullet ricocheted off the wall close to them and they were violently brought back to the harsh reality of their circumstances. Yondu grabbed her shoulders and moved her back to arm’s length.

“Ya gotta get outta here, Athena. Ya gotta get back ta tha ship. I’ll distract ‘em long enough fer ya ta make it. Kraglin’s at tha end of this path, an’ he’ll get’cha back safe.”

Her brows creased and she shook her head in disbelief as she realized what he meant. “No. No! I’m not leaving you here!”

He moved his hands from her shoulders to cup her face. “Yes, ya are. I ain’t lettin’ ya stay here an’ get hurt.”

“What about you? I don’t want you to get hurt, either!” A tear slipped down her face and Yondu wiped it away with his thumb. “Yondu, I love you and I’m not leaving you here alone, even if that means I die with you.”

Yondu took a step closer to her, his hands still cradling her face as he leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes briefly before opening them again, his ruby eyes meeting her blue ones. “Darlin’, yer not dyin’ here. Ya hear me? Yer gettin’ off this forsaken’ planet.”

Her hands grabbed the front of his coat in a tight grip. “Not without you.”

“Athena -”

“No! Forget it, Yondu. I’m staying!”

She could see the resignation on his face and knew she’d won, though she wasn’t sure at what cost.

His shoulders rose and fell and she knew he’d sighed, though she couldn’t hear it over the shouting and gunfire. “What do we do?” Her voice broke on the last word, even as she tried to be brave.

She knew it was a suicide mission now, just as she knew Yondu was also aware of it. She could see it in the set of his shoulders as he released her face. Another tear slipped down her cheek, and she repeated, “Yondu, what do we do?”

“We get outta this mess.”

“How?”

“We’s Ravagers, ain’t we?”

It was the first time he’d referred to her as a Ravager. The first time he’d accepted that she wasn’t going anywhere, that she didn’t think the Ravagers were lesser for being criminals, that she didn’t think he was lesser. The first time he’d truly believed she loved him and wouldn’t leave him. It didn’t matter what he deserved. She loved him regardless of who he was and what he’d done and she’d keep loving him as long as they lived.

The thought gave him a greater need to survive this day. He’d kissed her knowing neither would survive, though he knew he’d die trying to keep her alive, but now, now, he had something more to live for and he wasn’t giving that up without a fight.

“We find a way.”

The blazing look in his eye gave Athena the spark of courage she needed to keep going. She nodded, once, and slipped her arms around him, giving him a quick squeeze, before pulling back and removing her quad blaster from her holster.

“Lead the way, Captain.”

He grinned, knowing in an instant that something had changed. He’d loved her before, more than he could have imagined possible, but this was something more. This was complete trust. He trusted her to have his back, implicitly, and he could see in her eyes that she felt the same. He knew there was no one else he’d rather have by his side at this moment. His friend. His lover. His queen.

“This ain’t gonna be easy.”

She smiled and shook her head. “Nothing ever is when you’re involved.”

Chuckling under his breath, he moved slowly away from the false door to the edge of the wall, taking a look around the corner to try to determine the best course of action. It looked hopeless, but he hadn’t become a Ravager Captain by giving up when things looked hopeless. He turned his head to check on Athena once more before heading into the fray.

She stood behind him, in the stance he’d taught her, holding her quad blaster in the correct position, aiming at the ground until she was ready to fire. He’d never imagined she’d ever use it. Never imagined she’d ever need to use it, but he thanked every star in the sky that he’d taught her himself so he knew she was taught right. He didn’t doubt she’d hit her mark when she finally lifted the blaster and took aim for the first time.

“Ready?”

She nodded.

“Stay close ta me.”

Yondu turned his head again, took a deep breath, then whistled his arrow out of its holster before leaving the relative safety of the alcove. He strode purposefully forward, whistling his arrow at every enemy he could see, though there were more than he knew he’d be able to take down on his own.

He could see Ravagers still standing and fighting, but it wasn’t enough, not even close to being enough. He could see the ship in the distance through the smoke and haze, but it might as well have been on another planet. He was about to give in to despair when he felt Athena move beside him, lifting her quad blaster and firing, taking out an enemy.

The Ravager the enemy had been fighting looked up in surprise. “Cap’n! I thought ya’s dead!”

“Well, I ain’t!” Yondu shouted over the sounds of the battlefield. He sent his arrow through the skull of a man running toward him with a raised sword. “Ya seen anyone who looks like tha leader?”

The Ravager pointed across the battlefield. “I ain’t sure, but I think it’s that big fella over there.”

A wave of recognition crashed over Yondu as he looked to where the Ravager pointed. It was one of the many people Yondu had stolen from over the years.

The jobs he took were never personal. It was strictly business. Granted, it was dirty business and the person on the other side was never happy about the results, but he’d grown used to it by now. He’d made plenty of enemies. Plenty of people would happily kill him without another thought. None of them scared him like this one.

Acheron Kane had been crueler than most, and had Yondu known what he was getting into at the time, he would have turned down the job at the beginning. But he’d thought it was just another theft, just another run-of-the-mill job. It hadn’t been.

Acheron Kane was unhinged, and the amulet Yondu had stolen from him had belonged to Acheron’s lover, who had died two years before. He had believed the amulet would help him bring her back, and though Yondu knew that was impossible, he would never have stolen it had he known the significance of it to Acheron, simply because he’d since learned that Acheron was not someone to be crossed.

By the time he’d learned of it, he’d already sold the amulet and forgotten about it. Acheron hadn’t. He found out who’d stolen it and vowed to kill anyone Yondu ever loved. Yondu hadn’t worried about it at the time. There was no one he loved, not the way Acheron meant, and he hadn’t taken the threat seriously.

He’d managed not to bump into him again and the threat had faded in his memory. He hadn’t recalled it after he’d met Athena, and it hadn’t resurfaced after he fell in love with her, lost in the haze of wonder that someone like her was with someone like him.

But he remembered it now and it chilled him.

“Stay with Kraglin.”

“What? No. I’m going to help -”

“No, ya ain’t, yer stayin’ right here.” He turned to her. “Do this fer me, darlin’. Promise me.”

“But -”

“Promise me.”

“Fine, I promise.”

Yondu turned without another word, hoping she’d keep her promise. He didn’t know if it would be enough to keep her safe, but he couldn’t let Acheron know Athena was more to him than just another crew member.

If he found out, they’d both be lost.

He walked purposefully across the battlefield, sidestepping fighting groups of Ravagers and enemies, his eyes never leaving the imposing form of Acheron Kane.

He knew the moment Acheron spotted him. The man had turned and paused at the sight of Yondu, an evil smirk spreading across his face. He hadn’t walked to meet Yondu, instead waiting for Yondu to close the distance.

“So nice of you to join us, Udonta.”

“Wha’dya want, Kane?”

Acheron tilted his head slightly. “Oh, I think you know what I want.”

Yondu was hoping against all hope that it was a bluff. That Acheron had lured him here only to kill him, and not that he’d discovered the truth about Athena. He hoped Acheron didn’t even know Athena had joined his crew, that she even existed.

“Yer gonna hafta be more specific. Otherwise, I’ll be leavin’. Got things ta do.”

“I heard you have a new crew member.”

Yondu’s heart sank but he willed his face to remain impassive. “Keepin’ tabs on me, are ya?”

“Oh, yes. Mine wasn’t an idle threat. I still intend to carry it out.”

“Ya wasted yer time, then.”

“Oh?”

“Don’t think yer killin’ my crew’s gonna have tha effect yer lookin’ fer. Crews are a dime a dozen.”

The evil smirk on Acheron’s face grew wider. “Oh, I don’t know about that. Rumor is that you care more for one particular crew member than you do the others.”

“Don’t know where ya heard that.”

“My sources have never failed me. I doubt they’re going to start now. I have to admit, though, when I made the threat, part of me feared it would never come to fruition. Ravager Captain, Yondu Udonta, falling in love? Unlikely. But it seems I was proven wrong.” He looked around the battlefield as though he knew Athena was nearby. “Where is she, Udonta? Why are you trying to hide her? You know how this will end. You know I won’t stop until she is dead. Why prolong it?”

Yondu shook his head, his practiced nonchalance an effort this time. “Still don’t know what yer talkin’ ‘bout.”

“Enough of this nonsense! I know who she is, Udonta, and I know she is here.” He took another step closer to Yondu and lowered his voice, though it lost none of its menace. “The longer you delay, the longer you take to bring her to me, the longer I’ll take to kill her. I will draw it out. I will make her suffer. She will beg for death before the end, and I will make sure she knows you’re the reason she’s suffering.” He paused and took one more step closer to Yondu, leaning in to leer at him. “And I’ll make you watch it all.”

Yondu couldn’t suppress the chill that went down his spine. He knew Acheron wasn’t lying, but he also knew he wasn’t going to give in and hand Athena over to the evil man standing in front of him, not without a fight. Not unless he’d drawn his last breath.

He also knew the time for bluffs was over.

“Ya must think I’m crazy if ya think I’m gonna bring her over her.”

“Ah, so we’ve moved past the lies. Good. And we both know you’re only delaying the inevitable. Do you think we can lure her out if I hurt you? Do you think she loves you enough to put herself in danger for you?”

Yondu’s jaw clenched. It didn’t go unnoticed by Acheron.

He raised a brow. “Or maybe she doesn’t love you enough for that. That makes it even worse, in a way, doesn’t it? That she’s going to die for someone she doesn’t even love.”

Yondu made a jerking movement as though the very words pained him. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what, Udonta? Don’t put your fears into words?”

Yondu whistled, his arrow leaving its holster and flying toward Acheron’s head. Acheron caught it easily and chuckled.

“I wondered when your toy would make an appearance.” He snapped it in half, and the two pieces fell harmlessly to the ground. “But I grow impatient and I tire of this meaningless banter. Bring her to me or I shall find her myself.”

“I ain’t lettin’ ya lay a hand on her.”

“You’re in no position to be making promises you can’t keep. Although I suppose she’s used to broken promises, being with a Ravager. Your type aren’t known for keeping your word. Did you promise to keep her safe?” He shook his head. “Just one more worthless promise from a worthless Ravager.”

The sounds of battle continued to rage around them, but the two men might as well have been the only two on the battlefield.

“Why not just kill me? She ain’t done nothin’ ta ya!”

“Killing you won’t satisfy me. I want you to suffer. I want you to feel what it’s like to have the person you love ripped from you.”

“I didn’t kill -”

“You might as well have been the one to pull the trigger! You stole the amulet from me! The only way I could have brought her back! And now it’s gone.”

“There ain’t no bringin’ back tha dead. Ain’t no amulet can do that.”

Acheron glared at Yondu. “I want you to remember those words. I want you to remember them every day. Every day when you wake up and realize there will be no bringing her back to you once I’m finished with her! You will live your life knowing you were the reason she lost hers!”

Yondu opened his mouth to reply when Acheron suddenly dropped to his knees, a surprised expression on his face before he collapsed at Yondu’s feet.

Yondu looked up, stunned, to see Athena standing in front of him, her quad blaster still aimed at Archeron’s back.

She met Yondu’s eyes and took a shaky breath. “He talked too much.”

Yondu let out a strangled laugh and moved to her, sidestepping the lifeless body of Acheron. He pulled her close and held her tight as the battle raged around them.

She wrapped her arms around him, briefly, then said, “Should we be standing here when there’s still fighting going on?”

He laughed again as he pulled away from her. “Probably not.”

She handed him her spare quad blaster and he grinned as he took it.

“Together?” He asked.

“Always.”

They shared a brief grin before heading back into the fray and fighting their way to the ship.

Later, on the ship…

Athena dipped a washcloth in some water and gently wiped Yondu’s face, trying to clean his cuts.

“So you just… forgot about this pretty serious-sounding threat?”

Yondu shrugged. “Yeah.”

“How?”

“Well, it didn’t really apply ta my life at tha time. Didn’t expect it ta ever apply, ta be honest.”

“And then when it did apply?”

“Maybe I’s so smitten that it slipped my mind.”

Athena raised a brow and tried to hold back her smile as she dropped the cloth in the water. “Are you trying to sweet talk me so I’ll forget about it?”

“Maybe.” He placed his hands on her hips. “It workin’?”

Unable to fight her smile anymore, she replied, “Maybe.”

He chuckled and pulled her a little closer. “Good.”

#yondu #yondu x oc #yondu udonta #guardians of the galaxy #yondu fanfiction #guardians of the galaxy fanfiction #gotg #400 follower challenge #RavagerQueen #yondu x athena

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