Constructive criticism: Space Jam 2 and Scoob!
Ah yes, Space Jam: A New Legacy and Scoob!
Space Jam: A New Legacy
We live in a time where you can make movies about everything. Books, comics, video games, board games, old SNL skits and even commercials.
In 1992 and 1993, two Super Bowl Nike ads, "Hare Jordan" and "Aerospace Jordan" respectively, aired on television and featured Michael Jordan and Bugs Bunny. Both ads were commerically succesful and led to the green-lighting of a film featuring Jordan and Bugs.
The project was closed when Jordan retired from basketball in 1993, only to be reopened in 1995 when Jordan returned to play basketball again.
In 1996 Space Jam was released; a movie where the Looney tunes recruit Michael Jordan to help them beat a gang of aliens in a game of basketball.
The movie was a big hit at the Box Office and did OK with the critics.
When I saw it I found it enjoyably OK, and still do. Sure, it`s not the next Who framed Roger Rabbit, but it`s fine.
Years later Warner Bros. decided to cash in on the Space Jam nostalgia, and in 2021 they released Space Jam A New Legacy to the theaters.
It didn`t do that well at the Box Office and received generally negative reviews from critics for its humor, overlong runtime, and particularly for its extensive product placement of WarnerMedia properties.
This is another one of those movies that I haven`t seen but I know what happens in it thanks to watching videos about it on youtube.
So, if I could travel back in time with the help of a timemachine from ACME, what would I have changed?
I would not make it about the Looney tunes competing in a sport against a team of bad guys. From what I`ve seen from trailers and other videos, the movie put a lot of emphasis on "Look at how many IPs we have!" with all the references to other WB movies, just like Disney did in Ralph Breaks the Internet. So I would keep the whole "Looney tunes meets some of WB`s other animated characters" angle. The LT characters should be made with 2D animation, or at least 3D animation that looks convincingly 2D.
Plot
Our main protagonist, let`s call her Jody, (played by Zendaya) works at some big megastore (maybe Walmart?) and is bored with her own life. She would like to go out and travel the world but she rarely has enough money. When she has money she doesn`t have enough time and sometimes she just too stuck in her rut to carpe that diem. One night her apartment is invaded by Bugs Bunny, Lola Bunny, Porky Pig and Daffy Duck. (In this universe cartoon characters are NOT something common like it was in Roger Rabbit, so Jody is quite shocked she she sees them.)
The toons reveal that that there is trouble in the animated world, a big, evil space lord, let`s call him... Monty Cosmos (voiced by Don Cheadle), is taking over and is trying to enslave the animated world. (Not a very original idea, I know.)
Monty Cosmos` personality is similar to Hades from Disney`s Hercules. A couple of toons that have already joined him by their own free will are: Elmer Fudd, Yosemite Sam, Marvin the Martian, Wile E. Coyote and Taz.
Bugs, Lola, Daffy and Porky tried to fight Cosmos but were overpowered, forced to flee and ended up in her world by accident and have been trying to find a way back.
Suddenly Taz breaks through the door to her apartment. A portal opens, Bugs, Lola, Daffy, Porky and even Jody are forced to escape through it. They are now in the animated world, the one who opened the portal was an animated professor (It could be an already existing character or a character made for this movie.) Jody meets not just the Looney tunes but many other characters as well, like Tiny Toons, Animaniacs, Freakazoid, Tom and Jerry, The Iron Giant, pretty much any character from an animated franchise owned by WB.
The story is kinda like a mix between Lord of the Rings and Crisis on infinte Earths, but PG and more humorous. The gang and Jody need to go to a place to find a thing that they can take with them and use to defeat Monty Cosmos, but their journey is not easy.
I would include Pepé Le Pew in my movie, but I would dial down the more problematic parts of his behaviour. I would also include Minerva Mink and Heloise Nerz (better known as Hello Nurse) in the movie, and I would imply that they were bi or pansexual and attracted to each other. Pinky and the Brain would also be in the movie, they would be working with Cosmos. The Brain however, would have plans to, when the time was right, get rid of Cosmos and take over his throne. This is The Brain we`re talking about after all, he`d rather be in power than serve the man in power.
In the end, when Monty is defeated, Fred (from Scooby Doo) shows up to see "who is hiding behind the mask" and starts to pull on Monty`s face.
Monty Cosmos: "Ow! Stop it you idiot! This is my real face!"
Fred: "Oh! Sorry! Old habit."
Happy ending. Everybody celebrates. Jody is glad she got to have an adventure and Pinky and the Brain return to their lab to prepare for tomorrow night.
Pinky: "Why, Brain? What are we going to do tomorrow night?"
Brain: "The same thing we do every night, Pinky — try to take over the world!"
Aand... That`s all folks!
What would I call this film since it doesn`t have basketball (or any other kind of sport) in it?
Maybe:
Looney tunes: Through the Looniverse
Looney tunes: Across the Looniverse
(Something with Looney tunes and Looniverse.)
It`s not that think that Zendaya did a bad job voicing Lola, (then again, I haven`t seen the movie) but it feels like the people behind this decision were thinking: "Who needs experienced voice actors when you have celebrities? People will like this movie because of all the celebrities!" While celebrities are fun you can`t rely completely on them to carry an entire movie. And since this movie didn`t do well at the Box Office I think we can safely say that this kind of strategy isn`t exactly foolproof.
Space Jam wasn`t a masterpiece, like I said earlier: it was OK, but it was an interesting kind of OK, and the later half of the nineties was an interesting time.
A New Legacy was more interested in trying to catch lightning in a bottle again by doing pretty much the same things the first one did in a time full or remakes, reboots and rehashes.
And yes, I realized that my idea is similar to Looney tunes: back in action.
Scoob!
Back in June 2014, Warner Bros. Pictures decided to reboot the Scooby-Doo film series with an animated film. After a few years, Scoob! came out in 2020 (not the greatest time to go to the cinema).
Set in a Hanna-Barbera animated shared universe, the film follows Mystery Incorporated working with the Blue Falcon to stop Dick Dastardly's evil plan to unleash Cerberus.
It received mixed reviews from critics, who praised its animation, voice performances, and sense of nostalgia but criticized its modernization, writing, and polarizing casting choices.
Unlike A New Legacy, this is a movie that I actually did see.
So, if I could travel back in time and make some changes to this movie, what would I change?
I would have gotten away with it, if it hadn`t been for those meddling SPOILERS!
Fred, Blue Falcon, Dynomutt and captain Cavemans personalities
Fred is too much of a stupid dudebro for my liking and Blue Falcon is too juvenile and obsessed with social media to be a functional crimefighter. I guess these changes were made to pander to the 7 to 10 year olds in the audience.
I was gonna suggest that their personalities should be more like they were in the show but Fred and Blue Falcon didn`t really have that much of a personality.
So, make Fred more like a Steve Rogers-like boy-scout who wants to do the right thing. Blue Falcon could be like Kevin Conroy`s Batman with a little hint of Adam West`s Batman. He could deliver funny lines in a serious way.
Dynomutt should be stupid.
Captain Caveman should have been like he was in the show, voiced by an experienced voice actor. When he spoke I couldn`t hear Captain Caveman, only a celebrity doing a celebrity voice.
I would also imply that Velma is gay, because representation matters.
Synopsis
I like the part in the beginning with the mystery gang as kids, so I`m keeping that in my version.
Fast forward to the present: The gang is at a diner being interviewed by a reporter (Lose Simon Cowell, his cameo is pointless.) and she brings up everyones strenghts and what they bring to the group. But questions what it is that Scooby and Shaggy does that helps the group, she has done her research and says that most of the times that they have managed to catch the bad guys in monster costumes it despite of Shaggy and Scooby`s effort, not because of it.
Shaggy and Scooby object and try to come up with examples of how they help the group, but just end up helping the reporter`s argument.
Shaggy and Scooby start to question themselves, the rest of the gang try to comfort them.
Fred gets a text message that someone wants them to invesigate a haunted house, the gang drives to the house and are greeted by a blonde woman named Ms. Jaffe who`s late grandfather used to own the house. The gang investigates and the usual weird things that you can expect happens: paintings of people seem to watch them wherever they go. Velma finds tiny little wrappings of foil, the kinds you use for chocolate bobons. Shaggy and Scoob get separated from the rest of the gang, they look out of the window and see a strange, almost invisible UFO in the sky. Things start to shake, they try to escape. Fred, Velma and Daphne gets out of the house, but where`s Scooby and Shaggy? The house collapses and the strange, almost invisible UFO in the sky disappears.
The gang is devastated. (They are being watched by a tiny little robot, hiding in a tree and Ms. Jaffe is nowhere to be seen.)
Act 2
Shaggy and Scooby wake up inside a futuristic airship, they realize that they are inside the Falcon Fury, Blue Falcon's plane. Blue Falcon, Dynomutt and Dee Dee Skyes show up to greet them.
They explain that they have been tracking a dangerous man named Dick Dastardly and have noticed that Dastardly has had his eye out for Scooby, so they figured that the best thing to do would be to keep Scooby away from him.
All at once, an alarm goes off in the ship alerting that Dick Dastardly and his ship, The Mean Machine, are close by.
Dastardly orders the robots, who he calls Rottens, to attack the Falcon Fury. He says that he was so close to catching Scooby at the house until it at fell apart (literally), but he won`t fail again! He will get back what he lost!
(Note: In my version Dastardly has a habit of eating small chocolate bonbons.)
The Mean Machine latches onto the Falcon Fury using harpoons and is about to drag it in when Dee Dee tells Dynomutt to send out the beam that sucked up Shaggy and Scooby, but to put it on the reverse setting, so that it pushes them away from the Mean Machine. This works, and they escape Dastardly and the Mean Machine for the time being.
Now that they are temporarily safe, Dynomutt, Blue Falcon, and Dee Dee explain to Shaggy and Scooby that Dastardly is collecting the skulls of Cerberus, although they still don't know what they have to do with Shaggy and Scooby. Dee Dee comes to the conclusion that Dastardly wants Shaggy and Scooby alive, as he could have killed them earlier instead of just trying to capture them. Blue Falcon says that Shaggy and Scooby are important, though they still don't know why, and that they'll need their help on their mission. Shaggy is, at first, reluctant to agree but realizes that he can use this opportunity to prove to himself, and that reporter who made him question himself, that he is important and useful!
Back at what`s left of the haunted house: Daphne, Velma and Fred are searching in the rubble after their friends, Fred gets a text message. It`s Shaggy! He and Scooby are still alive, thank goodness! He says that he is on an adventure with Blue Falcon and also adds that they should watch out for a guy named Dick Dastardly.
Velma does a little computer hacking and finds out that Dick owns Dastardly Demolitions. He`s also stolen the first skull of Cerberus and the genealogical records of many dogs. They decide to go after him and help Shaggy and Scooby. The tiny little robot that watched them earlier is now hiding in their van.
Inside of the Mean Machine: Dastardly is lamenting over the fact that Scooby got away. He becomes upset at the Rottens because, in his mind, they are not nearly as good as his last sidekick. One of the Rottens apologizes for their failure, but that only upsets him more. He calls him a "suck-up," and to prove a point to the other Rottens, he removes his head and replaces it with the top of a vacuum cleaner.
The Falcon Fury: Blue Falcon and Dee Dee are searching for the second skull by locating areas with high fossil density. Dynomutt, on the other hand, is trying to find the skull by asking people on social media where it is. Shaggy and Scooby come in, their hands full of food. Dynomutt just got a DM from "a very reliable anonymous source" that the skull is in an abandoned amusement park in Romania. Dee Dee and Blue Falcon, not being stupid, ignores this, but Shaggy thinks it`s worth looking into. Blue Falcon decides to go along with this idea, just so Dynomutt can see that blindly trusting people on social media is not a good idea.
Meanwhile, in the Mystery Machine: Velma reveals that by cross-matching the biographical data that Dastardly stole, she is able to determine that Scooby is the last descendant of Peritas, Alexander the Great's dog. Fred changes course, as he claims he "knows a shortcut."
The abandoned amusement park in Romania: As soon as they walk inside the park, the Mean Machine ascends from the sky. Dastardly and the Rottens fly down and Dastardly reveals that he was the one who sent Dynomutt the DM and that he has just retrieved the second skull. Dee Dee, Blue Falcon and Dynomutt fight the Rottens as Shaggy and Scooby look for a place to hide. The Rottens chase Shaggy and Scooby into an arcade, they play "whack-a-mole" with the Rottens, trying to destroy them. Dastardly breaks into the arcade and when Shaggy asks what he wants with him, Dastardly reveals that Shaggy isn't important at all and that he only wants Scooby. He shoots Shaggy out of the arcade and he falls into a Ferris wheel seat where he is attacked by the Rottens but saved by Dee Dee.
Scooby escapes the arcade and runs into a house of mirrors, where Dastardly is waiting for him and tells him that if they join forces, he could make him "the most important dog in the world." He explains that Scooby is the key to something very important. Scooby refuses to help Dastardly and runs out of the house of mirrors, where more chaos is happening.
Dee Dee deploys the tractor beam, which pulls BF, Dynomutt, Shaggy and Scoob into the Falcon Fury. Dastardly is alerted by the Rotten in the Mystery Machine of the existence of Fred, Daphne, and Velma.
Scooby tells Dee Dee and BF what Dastardly told him. Dynomutt is shocked that an anonymous source on the internet could be so unreliable. Shaggy is disappointed in himself because he was the one who supported this idea. Scooby tries to comfort him.
Dastardly Demolitions (a factory in the middle of nowhere): Fred, Velma and Daphne have arrived and are looking for a way in. Velma finds finds little candy wrappings made out of foil on the ground. Suddenly a car shows up, it`s Ms. Jaffe. She wanted to make sure that they were OK and wonders if she can be of any help. Velma is not fooled by her act.
First of all: the "old house that belonged to her grandfather" may have looked old but she noticed some details that proved that it was built only a few days ago.
Second: In the old house she found some chocolate bonbon wrappings of the same brand the she found just now on the ground, a rare brand that is not sold in many places.
Velma: "You work for Dick Dastardly, don`t you?"
Ms. Jaffe (in Dick Dastradly`s voice): "Oh well, I guess the jig is up" (Takes off disguise.)
(When he reveals himself the gang reacts in surprise, not fear and disgust.)
Velma: "That... was my second guess."
Dastardly deploys his Rottens to pull Velma, Fred, and Daphne up into the Mean Machine and locks them in a cell.
Dusty, the Rotten with the vacuum head, walks by their cell. Daphne persuades him to let them out of the cage after cleaning out the dust in his head. They creep to the center of the Mean Machine, where they spy on Dastardly, who is using the two skulls of Cerberus to reveal that the third is hidden in a place called Messick Mountain. Dusty points them to a room with a communications device. Velma hacks into Dynomutt, telling Dee Dee that the third skull is at Messick Mountain. In the room, they find a pinboard, revealing Dastardly's plans for Scooby. They learn that Scooby, being the descendant of Peritas, is the only one who can open up the gates to the Underworld, where Alexander the Great hid his treasure. They also find a display shelf of Muttley's things.
Dastardly breaks in, catching them. When asked about Muttley he gets furious and tells them it`s none of their business. The Rottens then come in to take away Velma and Daphne, but Dastardly keeps Fred as he has "big plans" for him.
Messick Mountain: The Falcon Fury arrives at Messick Mountain, which turns out to have a Mesozoic ecosystem. Shaggy, feeling that he only screws things up, decides to wait by the ship. While investigating the landscape, Blue Falcon and Scooby run into Captain Caveman, the protector of the third skull. He takes them to an arena, filled with other cavepeople, to get the skull, they must defeat him in battle.
Fred, shows up to the Falcon Fury, alone in the Mystery Machine. He tells Shaggy that they need to go to Scooby, as he's in great danger.
Captain Caveman battles Scooby and Blue Falcon. Dee Dee and Dynomutt show up to help and defeat Captain Caveman. Fred and Shaggy show up in the Mystery Machine. Fred reveals that he`s actually Dastardly in disguise. The Mean Machine appears overhead and Velma, Daphne, and the real Fred are thrown overboard, although they are caught by the crew of the Falcon Fury. Dastardly kidnaps Scooby and escapes with him and the third skull on the Mean Machine. The gang and the Falcon Fury crew head back to the ship, only to find that it has been destroyed by Dastardly.
Shaggy says that he may mess up and fail at a lot of stuff. But today he won`t fail his best friend Scoob!
Inspired by his determination the rest of the mystery gang and the Falcon Fury crew start to build something from the wreck of the Falcon Fury.
Act 3
The Parthenon in Athens, Greece: Dastardly ascends with the three skulls and Scooby. He connects the skulls which generates the gates to the Underworld and turns the sky dark. Suddenly, the Mystery Machine appears in the sky, having been transformed to have wings and jets. Dastardly orders for it to be shot down, but Dusty purposely misfires so that Daphne's life is saved. However, the Mystery Machine still falls to the ground, it's wings being shot off.
Dastardly forces Scooby's paw upon the lock of the gates, opening them up. Cerberus appears at the gates, something Dastardly was not expecting. Cerberus runs out, creating enough commotion for Scooby to run off to the Mystery Machine. The gang is finally reunited! Dastardly goes into the Underworld, where he finds his old sidekick Muttley! He gets a flashback to the day when he first opened the portal and convinced Muttley to go through it. The portal closed and Muttley was stuck in the Underworld. They rejoice at seeing each other, grab as much treasure as they can carry, and leave through the portal.
The gang and the Falcon Fury crew begin attacking Cerberus. The Rottens, at the command of Dusty, deploy themselves, deciding to help the gang instead of Dastardly.
Shaggy and Scooby, with help from the Rottens, manage to trick Cerberus to go back to the Underworld. The portal is closing, if they don`t hurry they`ll be stuck in the Underworld forever! Shaggy and Scooby run as fast as they can with Cerberus chasing them and they make it just as the portal closes!
The Rottens, now good, capture Muttley and Dastardly and bring them to the gang, all tied up. Fred wants to see "who is hiding behind the mask" and starts to pull on Dastradly`s face.
Dastardly: "Ow! Stop it you moron! This is my real face!"
Fred: "Oh! Sorry! Old habit."
Dastardly yells that "he would have gotten away with it if it hadn`t been for those meddling kids!" The Falcon Fury crew take him and Muttley away.
Back at Venice Beach, the gang has an opening ceremony for their new base. The Falcon Fury crew shows up and Blue Falcon gives Fred a new, updated version of the Mystery Machine, as the old one was destroyed. Mystery Inc. gets a call that tells them that there have been sightings of a phantom tuna trawler and the ghost of a sea captain. The gang heads off in a haste, to pursue new mysteries!
And that`s how I would do it.
This little rewrite ended up longer than I had anticipated.
To be completely honest: I didn`t quite remember all the details of what happened in Scoob! so I went to Scoobypedia to refresh my memory and ended up copy pasting a lot of the synopsis into my editorial. I removed things that were unnecessary, like Scooby and Shaggy`s forced break up and Blue Falcon`s character arc (because this is not his movie.)
It is of course very easy for me to write these because I have the luxury of hindsight. And unlike the filmmakers I didn`t have a movie studio breathing down my neck, focus grouping the movie to death, forcing in unnecessary changes and pressuring me to get it made before a deadline.
Why do I write these?
For several reasons. I`m nitpicky, sometimes the movies I criticize aren`t bad, I just like my own ideas better, sometimes the movies I critize are bad, I care about good storytelling and it`s a fun excerize in creativity and script doctoring.
But also because I have a lot of of free time.
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Written stuff: 56
Started writing this 2024-03-07
Comments are appreciated.
Sources: Wikipedia and Scoob!`s Scoobypedia page.
Other movies on my Constructive Criticism list that you can look forward to
Supergirl (1984)
Jonah Hex (2010)
Dragonball evolution
The Spirit (2008)
The Dark Knight trilogy
Raya and the last Dragon
Wish (2023)
And as usual: English is not my first language, so if my writing doesn`t seem to flow naturally, you know why.
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