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#yes this is about customer service
rollforjackass · 9 months
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look we all know that aziraphale is mr. fiddlesticks-not-fuck and dearie-me-good-gracious, but my favorite thing about him is that there is also, at all times, a fuck-shit little bastard inside of him just begging to be let loose. he's petty, he's passive aggressive, and the Second he decides that playing by heaven's rules isn't going to help anybody, it's all "i know who you are, you idiot!" and "you STUPID man" and "FUCK"
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antiqua-lugar · 4 months
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Your disgrace has something to do with this Ketheric. You yearn to flay him until he forgets himself, as you have.
The way I play Dorian he is generally a fucking dramatic dumbass bard who was fully convinced his Urges were like, his Muse speaking to him to fuel his Art (in his defense, Certified Wise Man Gale told him we all feel the urge to kill from time to time! It's all fine as long as we don't do any killing!) who then evolved to "Those Urges Are Not Normal But Everything Shall Be Well As Long I Only Kill Bad Guys" (because Certified Good Man Wyll And Love Of His Life told him so!). Sceleritas told him to kill Isobel and he just went "Ha-ha! You can't fool me, I have notes on how to be a good person now! Turning around and going to bed, you are not the boss of me!" So these moments are so crucial to me like yeah, Dorian might be a silly bard who spent all of last night annoying the fuck out of Astarion about how Wyll asked him to dance, and it was so lovely, why doesn't Astarion ask Gale to dance, and then having a very stupid argument with Shadowheart at breakfast because she won't give a book back. But like all of that can really be gone in an instant. There is always this thing lying just under the surface and the more he remembers the more he is like. Slightly more comfortable with it.
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bonyfish · 24 days
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When I worked at the pawn shop there was this lady who'd come in periodically who just Did Not Trust Me for no particular reason. I didn't take this personally because she was like this with everyone but a small selection of the managers. One time she went out of her way to tell my manager that she thought I was "up to something" on account of I "smile[d] too much".
Then one day, for reasons unknown, she decided I'd apparently been working there long enough that she should ask for my name. When I told her, she said, "Well, I wouldn't'a been so mean to you if I knew you had such a pretty name!" and then spent the rest of her time in the store that day paying me compliments. She asked if my hair was naturally curly and, when I answered in the affirmative, she had me turn around and show her the back of my head. Later when she went to leave, she came back in because she'd spotted my mother outside (my car was in the shop and she was waiting for me to get off work so she could take me to pick it up) and asked me, "Is that your mother out there? Why, you look just alike!"
Anyway, there's no moral to this story, I just think about her sometimes. What an odd person. I wonder if she's still out there, pawning huge bins of DVDs of unknown provenance and asking the clerks if they believe in God.
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cheap-slaw · 10 months
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...
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shinayashipper · 9 months
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If I were to get Fired after Disappointing a customer (who hasn't paid and the worst thing happened to them is their orders late for a day and we cancelled his orders because he couldnt Wait any longer- DEMANDING us to finish the thing and said "I dont care I /want/ my orders Now" after we told him it will take us until midnights to work for it?? YOU HAVENT EVEN PAID), then I would gladly Leave. Certainly they didnt appreciate me at all
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demxnscous · 1 year
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god I do love when men "yes ma'am" me
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tell me you've never had to use skype without telling me you've never had to use skype: you complain about discord
#liz blogs#what am i doing that i am actually completely 100% ok with the way discord runs right now and what they have behind paywalls#what am i doing that other people seem to not be doing that they get frustrated#i hate corporations more than the next guy but they do. still have to make money. to Function#its just bad when the app barely functions Without giving it money#its the difference between having a basic car and having four wheels 1 seat and a steering wheel. only the latter is bad#but the vanilla discord experience is... just fine?? you're not losing out on any Necessary features without it#it's Nice having custom colors and profile themes and funny icons but you don't Need them#the objectively best feature of nitro is the emojis and i am fine shelling out $30 A Year to use them where and however i want#in the basic nitro tier because i cannot fathom how much money it must cost#to run discord and host the insane amount of data it does. can you even Comprehend the sheer Size of what it stores#it is in fact the Only subscription to Anything i currently have#i think the 'fuck corporations fuck capitalism' attitude is Excellent but i think when most people Cannot think critically at all#everything is just black/white to them and they see Any service trying to make money as Bad and start screaming about it#tumblr and discord are on my very short list of services that i am actually very happy with and fine letting them make money#i feel strange watching the internet turn on discord the last couple years. it's still the same app. nothing has changed#literally trying to encorporate n//fts and AI is the only real Shit Move i can think they've ever made and to be fair#like every fucking company is jumping on that right now out of ignorance and not malice#nitro is not the problem though 🥴 are y'all ok#yes i saw people pissing and shitting their pants about discord giving nitro users more themes and thought they were insane#dark mode/light mode is just fine for basic functionality. you dont Need colors. shut up and go burn down an amazon warehouse instead
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tvrningout-a · 1 year
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yells!! i'm gonna update my resume and put in some applications but i don't wanna!!
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marsixm · 5 months
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trying extremely hard and learning to just let shit roll off me. trying to remember not to let negative shitty people have power over me. i’m done lmao i’m over it
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redportrait · 1 year
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Worlds longest shift today... worlds second longest shift tomorrow... when will it end
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novelcain · 1 year
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I will never forget the day my former boss looked me dead in the eyes on my orientation day and said: I'm a great judge of character. I can tell that you're an extrovert.
Me nervously laughing because every time I had interacted with this man I was masking my ass off to get this job and most certainly was NOT an extrovert but also didn't want to somehow risk my new job by saying otherwise: Yep! You got me!
#there was also this one time i got this male customer by himself at noon so ofc he just had to talk to me#and this bitch literally asked are you always this bubbly?#and i said yes ya know like a liar#because wtf else am i supposed to say?#no i'm actually never like this and if my wages didn't come from GENEROUS tips of my customers i'd never show a single ounce of emotion#bc im autistic (didnt know it at the time tho) and i really hate dealing with bitches like you first thing in the morning#and then this bitch had the NERVE to ask me YoU wErE rAiSeD bY ChRisTiaNs WeReNT yOu?#and i was so shocked i didn't know how to respond and ended up fumbling out I'm actually not Christian#AND THIS MOFO HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY oh i can tell but that's not what I asked#LIKE BITCH WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE#so me just wanting desperately for this conversation to be over i nervously say yes#and he says yeah i can tell you were raised by a good family#WHEN I TELL YOU THIS WAS THE CLOSEST I EVER CAME TO BREAKING I COULD FEEL MY EYE TWITCHING WITH HOW ANGRY I WAS#I SWEAR I WAS ALMOST SCREAMING AT THIS MAN ABOUT HOW TRAUMATIC IT WAS GROWING UP WITH A CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN FAMILY#luckily i kept my composure (and my job) and awkwardly replied haha yeah... i should go check if your food is done now#AND WHEN I TELL YOU I FUCKIN SPRINTED TO THE KITCHEN#istg you couldn't pay me all the money in the world to work customer service ever again#fuck that fuck olive garden and fuck that guy in particular#there's reason you was eatin lunch alone bitch
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tatatatatara · 7 months
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i offer you: car guy tatara and also tatara washing (houji's) car sexy fundraiser style
You can fucking bet that if Tatara does a sexy charity car wash and Houji's car comes before me, I'll crash his car into a wall because Tatara's soapy and wet body is mine!!!! I'm not gonna share it with anyone even with Houji fuck that guy!!!
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poptartmochi · 7 months
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unfathomable emotions after showering
also.. i hit tag limit on this, so watch out for a very long post if you hit read more on the tags! 😨
#it is frustrating that overall it is fine for customers to use retail/service employees like punching bags. this guy will have no#repercussions for cussing me out beyond the pre-existing frustration that his order isn't ready because it was placed after our deadline#it is frustrating that you can't really defend yourself because 1) it takes too much time and there's too much else to do.#better to let them have the upper hand in their minds 2) they can take anything you saw and spin it against you in a review#like... 😞 i couldn't even get a word in against this guy. honestly i think he was using me as a stress toy because his kid is getting in#trouble for not having uniforms. which really sucks‚ I understand and empathize with that! but to react in such a way is unacceptable#it's common sense that a mom and pop shop will not process your order until the next business day if you ordered outside of their business#hours. i had to explain the way this particular school's ordering system worked to this guy the last time he was in. i provided multiple#alternatives to contacting us that he never utilized. like.. he had the tools to understand everything and instead of using them he decided#to erupt. and because I'm the poor fuck that works the counter‚ i got to be on the receiving end of this. i should know better than to be#upset about it (the eelness talking. everyone else was mad when he left) but. it's also fair to not want to be cussed out over something as#small as school uniforms! 🤨#and don't even get me started on school uniforms.. yes my entire job rn is selling them BUT oh my god. i hate them. they shouldn't be a#thing. especially when these schools cost an arm and a leg in admission + then the uniforms easily cost another#*$100. the entire practice seems evil to me but also it's the family business so. 😭. the way these schools do it also undermines the entire#point of school uniforms which is. uniformity! 🤨 i feel like the minute differences in brand and so forth and so on give kids easy ways to#compare each other and potentially bully each other. the differences in what people provide Could be distracting! if your kid is the only#one wearing a plaid jumper while everyone else has khaki bottoms on‚ they're going to stand out!#so what pray tell is the point 😭 imo it's best to let kids have the freedom of self expression and show up to school however they'd like#in an appropriate way ofc. but i digress 😩 this business is just. deeply frustrating + as if the work itself was not overwhelming‚ the#parents have to throw tantrums about it... I'm so tired! 😭#and they insinuate you fuck around + or say you don't give a shit.. ma'am I've worked so much overtime this year + that's not even counting#the relentless shifts I've worked in my nightmares that occur every night. like.. literally the only thing i do is give a shit about your#order!! at the expense of my sleep and wellness lmao! I don't eat lunch and i barely hydrate because I'm constantly working#but it is thog mode.. thog don't care... 😑 it'd be funny if i didnt care either 🥴😐#to sum up a long rant ig i entered the shower feeling very depressed and I've left angry 🤯 but this is normal methinks#anyhow l + ratio + you work at your family's store + you work customer service + u trip over yourself when u talk etc etc etc 😑😑#one day i will blow that store up with every parent ever. it will be so funny 💖😐😩😑#sriracha.txt#negative cw
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bazkrekkers · 1 year
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One of my many asks could have been answered by them and I WOULDN'T KNOW BECAUSE OF FRICKING TUMBLR LIVE
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Tideturners: The Sidewinder
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“Spend enough time in the Mists, and you’re bound to meet the most fascinating people.”
The Sidewinder went by another name, once. She sailed the seas, swindled and cheated, ransacked and pillaged. A pirate’s life was a harsh one-- unforgiving, violent, and usually sodden with salt water. Even among them she was fierce and unrelenting, a bold captain who fought tooth and nail to maintain the confidence of her crew. She made a name for herself, in spite of her rough origins and all the people who didn’t believe she could.
Her name was Mai Trin... But she doesn’t go by that name anymore.
It’s said that there’s many versions of Tyria scattered through the Mists. Countless, even. Sometimes they even clash, fighting for the resources that crop up in the gaps between worlds. Some are better off than others.
Hers is nothing but a memory now, and the origin of an ever-growing shadow that most will never see-- if they’re lucky. Some histories are best left buried.
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“We’re the Tideturners, and we won’t be washed away.”
It all began with a simple proposition; a certain sylvari and a certain alliance, and an ill-fated plan to change the world. But this time, something was different.
The Commander of her world wasn’t quite like most. Brutal, relentless, and arguably more dead inside than the corpse minions he commanded. His lack of morals and intense ambition caught Scarlet’s attention, and she decided to invite him aboard the operation. He was an expert in slaying the dragons and their minions, and such insight could be invaluable with the goals she had in mind.
But this proved to be a dreadful miscalculation. Commander Ruju saw no difference between a rebelling dragon minion and a willing one. When the asura recognized seeds of corruption in her mind, he held no mercy.
And with the head cut off the snake, Ruju made his declaration; either what remained of the slain Briar’s alliance would fall in step under him willingly, or their remains would serve him in death. He was an ardent follower of the principles of Oola; necromancy and golemancy were destined to collide, and any who stood in his way would provide the materials to make that dream reality.
Captain Mai Trin recognized then that this wasn’t the Alliance she’d once believed in. The first to have believed her capable of greatness was dead, and Ruju saw them all as nothing more than replaceable cogs in his perpetual war machine. There was no future there, for the Captain or her crew.
Mai took any Aetherblades who were still loyal to her and fled into the Mists.
She’d spend the rest of her life wondering if they could have won when there was still something left of their world to save. Now they’ll never know.
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“I spent most of my life making the wrong choices.”
“But if I can still accomplish something worthwhile with whatever time I have left, that’s what I’m going to do. I owe it to all the people who should be here instead of me.”
In the Mists, she and her Aetherblades cut their own path and their own future, far from Ruju’s war against dragons and Tyrians alike. They built a hideaway within turbulent lands where even time itself held no stability, a fortress that they prayed would never be found by the former allies they left behind.
Within the Mists, they thrived by learning to ransack Fractals. Taking from the echoes of realities that could have been, they found every resource they could ever need to survive. Food and water, technology, replacement parts, weapons and armor, raw materials... Whatever they needed, the Fractals would provide.
It was there that Mai would seek out the guidance of a familiar voice; she reached into the shadows, and the echoes answered, whispering. Scarlet Briar became her ally once more, offering advice and frustration in equal measure.
For a long time, it was just them. Mai, her Aetherblades, and the whispers of a mastermind who’d once promised them the path to greatness.
Years came and went, and the war of their world marched on, and on. Its consequences would soon prove unthinkable-- and inescapable. There were some lines not even pirates would cross. But Ruju held no such reservations.
Mai’s echo felt something within their world, a tie that snapped like brittle thread. For the first time, she was told-- begged-- pleaded with-- to return. Never before had the pirate experienced such a pull. Nor could she begin to imagine just what, exactly, had rendered the sylvari so inconceivably distraught.
And so they returned to Tyria for the first time. Airships flickered back into existence from the Mists, materializing over the skies of the Maguuma jungle.
The landscape below them was not the world they knew. Not anymore.
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“... Scarlet wanted to change the world, you know. We all did. She inspired people just like Ruju, once. However you feel about that, there were plenty who believed that anything would be better than what they already had.”
“I can’t say it would’ve been, knowing what I know now. But at least she planned on there still being a world by the time she was done, whatever it would’ve become.”
The Grove was nearly unrecognizable. If not for the crumpled remains of the Pale Tree’s vast branches, she might not have realized what it even was.
Tunnels had been torn through the earth, vast caverns that formed what could only be described as a hive. The forest was teeming with massive insectoid beasts that only later would she learn had a name; the chak.
What had once been the sylvari capital city lay in ruins. The Pale Tree was dead. And under the shadow of her fading leaves hid what would, in another world, have been Tyria’s greatest hope. Mai wasn’t sure what drew her eye to that thicket and its glittering occupants, but the moment she laid eyes upon it, she knew she couldn’t just turn away.
So she called over her most loyal crew members, and they descended into the wreckage to seek something far more precious than any gold.
Broken bodies and dented armor littered the forest floor, yet they paid it no heed, cutting through the swaths of chak and stepping past pools of acid to reach their destination. It was there that Mai would be faced with the choice that would change her life-- and the lives of her remaining Aetherblades-- forever.
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“... I’m no hero, or freedom fighter, or ‘chosen one’ or anything glamorous like that. I’m just the last line of defense, if you can say that when there’s so little left.”
“I’m the one they call in because everybody else is already dead. I don’t save the day, it’s already too late for that. I just clean up the rubble you so-called ‘heroes’ leave behind, bury the bodies your wars leave to rot on the battlefield, and patch up the few survivors who got caught in the crossfire.”
“Be careful where you toss that title around, ‘Commander.’ It doesn’t mean what you think it does, not around here.”
Hidden in the shrubbery was what remained of the Exalted; they had long since fled Tarir, their home utterly destroyed by a three-way war between Mordremoth’s minions, the chak, and Ruju’s Alliance. Their grand city was no more, and the same fate had befallen so much of the jungle that it even put the pirates on edge. As it turned out, Ruju had injected a mass quantity of highly toxic biochemicals into Mordremoth’s vegetation, but the poison had killed far more than just the dragon.
The dragon wasn’t just connected to the jungle; it was the jungle. And as it coursed through every vine, leaf, and root, it carried its deadly effects throughout the entire region. The chak fed on mass amounts of released ley energy from the killed vegetation, and since the chemical was only lethal to plants, they survived-- and thrived. Their population grew and grew and grew, evolving to utilize this new resource that now dominated their domain.
And as their numbers multiplied and their evolution accelerated... Their domain grew right along with them, undermining the entire landscape all the way into Kessex Hills. The Pale Tree had been a recent casualty; weakened first by an attack from the dragon and then from the poison seeping into her soil, she didn’t stand a chance when the insects reached their doorstep.
Now, with Ruju’s armies on the march across the continent, they had nowhere left to go. Their last shelter was in ruins, and the Exalted’s precious cargo was in jeopardy. It was only then that they would offer the last thing they had to give to the only hope they had left. Mai and her pirates weren’t the ideal alliance, but there was nowhere else left to turn.
Even the sylvari who had brought it to Tarir lay among the dead now. Mai didn’t know her name, back then. But her invocation did-- and whispered it as they looked upon the shining egg that should have been Tyria’s last hope.
‘Oh Caithe. You poor fool. I always knew your devotion would get you killed.’
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“... You know, it’s almost funny. Most sailors believe in some kind of superstition, but I never did. If there was any ‘higher power’ out there, it didn’t care about us. We survived because we fought tooth and nail for every scrap. The open sea had no mercy, so neither did we.”
“And then I saw that egg, shining like a beacon in the ruins of a dead city that called to me with its last breath. And I just... Knew. Guess sometimes it takes the end of the world to really put things into perspective, huh?”
The crew was conflicted; some wanted to simply steal the egg and make off with it, but what then? The Exalted would fight to their last armor, and what would they even do with it? It only had value if they could sell it, and who would be its buyer? Certainly not Ruju, and no one else would want it. It was too precious, too powerful, too important to be treated as a mere treasure.
Mai and her invocation came to a joint conclusion-- one of which neither was certain, but both knew was unavoidable. Mai offered the strange, ethereal beings her hand. There was one path forward, and she was going to take it.
An alliance was forged, that day. And that was the day that the Aetherblades were no more. A new name was born, one that would echo through the Mists as it rippled across the fabric of fate-- a reflection of what they would become, and what they were going to do from that moment on.
They would be the Tideturners, one final holdout against impossible odds. And even if they couldn’t save this Tyria from the cataclysm to come, maybe they would still be able to save something else.
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“I’m going to tell you a secret: nobody comes to live in the Mists if they have somewhere better to stay. We aren’t the only ones out here, but we all have something in common. We’re all running from something, hoping whatever we find out here will be better than what we’re trying to escape. Most times, it’s hard for it to be worse.”
“The Turnabout isn’t a vacation spot, or a military base, or anything like that. It’s a refuge for people who don’t have anywhere else to go. We don’t ask questions because we all have our secrets, and nobody needs to know who we were before, just who we choose to be now.”
“Those people are dead and gone, and they’re never coming back. We’re just the ghosts they left behind.”
The last of the Exalted were brought into the Mists aboard Aetherships, and settled into the fortress that would one day become known as the Turnabout. Glint’s last egg was safeguarded in the last place it might truly be out of Ruju’s reach, and in return, the Exalted offered their own magical knowledge to upgrade the facility’s defenses.
New weaponry was developed-- unique combinations of their ancient secrets and the steam-powered technology utilized by the Aetherblades. EX-Cannons were designed that would even act as an extension of the Exalted themselves, allowing the armor beings to interface more directly with the fortress’s defenses. And as knowledge of the continued destruction of their world slipped through the cracks, the sentiment began to slowly shift.
Even pirates had standards, morals that were too low even for them. They’d fight and plunder and pillage-- but this wasn’t about wealth or prestige or even survival, not anymore. And the more that Ruju’s army left naught but desolation in its wake, the clearer it became that this was far bigger than any of them.
It was the fall of Balthazar that shook the Mists, and tipped a far different scale than any had anticipated. Elder dragons were falling, one after the other. The fabric of magic was crumbling, and with it, their world, too. Scarlet began to whisper cryptic warnings of the ‘oblivion’ so soon to come.
Everything was about to get much, more worse.
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“There’s worse fates than death. I know, I’ve seen my fair share. Corruption is pretty high on the list.”
“I could almost feel sorry for him, even after all this. I don’t know what Ruju is now, but he’s not an asura anymore. I’m not sure you can even call him alive. Whatever that magic did to him, there’s no turning back now.”
“It’s a part of him, and he’s a part of it, even if there’s not enough left of him to realize it for himself.”
Their scouts began to send back reports of a strange, dark substance that twisted even reality itself. It adhered to no laws of logic or physics, bending matter indiscriminately and killing everything that it didn’t consume. It was growing, faster and faster. If allying with the Exalted had been Mai’s turning point, this was the moment that would truly prove her change of heart.
The Tideturners returned to their world, one more, one final time. Their ships arrived to a Tyria ravaged by shadows and broken magic, this time on a mission that would have no happy ending; to get everyone out that would come, before there was nothing left to save at all. If the world had to end, they were going to salvage what little of it that they could. It would be here that Mai would don a mask for the first time, referring to herself as ‘the Sidewinder’ to conceal her identity. Her world would never trust their safety to a cutthroat pirate, but perhaps it could learn to trust a mysterious, unnamed Mists traveler instead.
Many were unwilling. They planned to fight until the end. Some were left behind, others were carried aboard, and a few even tried to fight the pirates themselves.
Captain Kiel was one of the ‘lucky’ few to be knocked out in the conflict and carried aboard; only after awakening would she discover what had happened. She’d spend the rest of her life coming to terms with it, just like so very many others. Eventually she would go on to become the Turnabout’s co-leader ‘Captain K’ alongside the Sidewinder, but that’s another story for another day.
That day would haunt the pirates for as long as they lived, for there were other things, dreadful, monstrous things, watching them with glowing eyes as they departed. The Mists were about to get a whole lot more dangerous...
The Grand High Sovereign didn’t go down with his world. And there were still so many, many other worlds out there for him to explore and dominate.
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“We don’t worship the Six here. There’s only Five, and they don’t ask for our unconditional devotion. They know the role they played in our history, and we know it, too. When their people called out, they were silent. They left their worshipers to die until no one was left to pray.”
“They’re gods, but most of us treat them as guides, mentors, and allies. They don’t win our battles for us, and their power won’t turn the tide of war. That’s up to us. But they answer our questions, and offer their advice. They won’t save us, but if we know the right questions to ask, they’ll give us the tools to save ourselves.”
It would be in the years to follow that the Turnabout would change even more than it already had. Many refugees had fled into the Mists of their own accord, and now wandered among the shadows and demons with no direction and no resources. But they did not go unnoticed.
The Five remaining human gods had been watching. They dared not intervene with the god killer directly, but one thing became clear; if they stood by and did nothing, soon what little remained of their Tyria would crumble. Even the Turnabout itself wasn’t enough to keep them safe. Sooner or later something truly horrific would find them, and their last refuge would be wiped away as if it had never existed at all.
Despite their reluctance, Kormir eventually won the other gods over. They didn’t need to fight, but they did need to step in-- even if it wouldn’t be forever. A decision was made, and after far too long, contact was finally re-initiated-- and an offer was made to the survivors who remained.
The Five broke a piece off of their land in the Mists, Xotecha, and offered it as sacred ground for the Turnabout’s final iteration. Gathering the last stragglers, they aided in bringing the remains of their broken world to a safer location; the heart of a massive temporal storm, surrounded on all sides by walls of broken reality that nothing could easily pass.
And finally, they offered knowledge, one last boon that would teach the refugees how to navigate the Mists and its temporal instabilities more safely. Soon the Tideturners understood its intricacies better than any of them ever would have imagined, devising their own specialized suits that could insulate them from even the most severe and debilitating environments.
Eventually these suits would allow for the retrieval of the impossible and improbable, making for some unique new allies that would aid the Tideturners’ Mists excursions even further... But that, too, is a story for another day.
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“Jade tech is really something, huh? It holds a magical charge like nothing else I’ve ever seen, even golem power cores can’t compare. It infuses the whole machine’s physical components with power, and you can do some very... Creative things with that kind of energy infusion.”
“That’s the most I can tell you about our systems, but I don’t think you’ll find anything like this outside the Turnabout. ‘ASP’ really is one of a kind.”
As the Turnabout’s population grew, so did its technological advancement and ingenuity. With it came iterations of Cantha’s jade tech, and new methods of energy channeling that entirely changed the way their facility operated. EX-Cannons were upgraded, and new technology allowed the Turnabout to revolutionize its entire interface in an entirely new way.
A new AI system was introduced to run the facility and aid the ever-growing population; ‘ASP,’ short for Automated Security Protocol. The Sidewinder oversaw its development, and became the head of security for the foreseeable future. The snarky, occasionally morbid AI soon proved to be an exceptional help around the Turnabout... With a sinister secret.
In truth, the ‘AI’ was no AI at all, but instead an extension of the Sidewinder’s secretive Scarlet Briar invocation. By directly interfacing her magic with the Turnabout’s jade tech energy conduits, she was able to devise a method of controlling everything remotely-- with Scarlet operating the machinery independently so she could focus on other matters. In order to maintain the connection, a pair of special magitech gauntlets were constructed with unique jade tech receptors that could channel her magic directly into the system, and generate a ‘tablet’ interface for ease of access anywhere.
Some would eventually become suspicious, but the more time passed, the more that the population came to determine that it didn’t make a difference. The AI was doing its job, Sidewinder was proving herself as an effective leader, and the Turnabout was providing for all of its residents with a surprising amount of efficiency.
Against all odds, people came to believe in the Sidewinder and the bold new world she helped to build. And, even if she knew there were plenty of others who would’ve been better suited to this position than her, Mai would fight every day to become the person that the Tideturners believed she was.
She wasn’t a hero, and she didn’t want to be one. But she could be a leader.
This would only be the beginning of their story, though... Ruju’s march would continue soon enough, and the Tideturners’ work will never be done. Not until the Grand High Sovereign and his void-enhanced army is finally laid to rest.
So, where are the Tideturners now..?
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"In the taverns of Divinity's Reach, look for someone with a skull and sword tattoo on their upper arm. You'll see just the edge of it. Show them this coin, and tell them; 'I heard you're looking for lost treasure.'"
"They'll ask you; 'I'm always watching for hidden gems. How'd you find this?’ Answer them; 'it washed in on the tide.' They'll know what that means."
There are few groups more secretive than the Tideturners. Most would say they’re just a strange story whispered between Mist travelers, trying to explain shifting shadows in the distance and mysterious markings under rocks. Few outside their ranks have ever seen them, and even fewer knew what they saw.
Just know this; if the Sidewinder is about, the winds of fate are changing... And it’s likely not in your favor. Not because she brings trouble, but because she’s tracking the ones who do... And where Ruju goes, calamity is sure to follow.
So if you start seeing unidentifiable figures lurking on the horizon, and finding their sigil marked under arches, get ready. And if the Sidewinder drops by to share a drink and say hello, never let yourself forget she’s likely there on business. Ask her when the tide is coming in if you want the truth.
Where she comes from, there are no heroes, not anymore. The good ones never make it out alive. If you do, you’ll be the first.
So get ready... Because a storm is coming, and it’s closer than you think.
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Additional Background Details and Headcanons:
- Mai adopted the nickname ‘Sidewinder’ due to its snake theming; I headcanon her to be of mixed Luxon (Serpent clan) and Elonian (Corsair) background, which in turn was why her ancestors weren’t living in Cantha; they left due to persecution from the Ministry of Purity, with her being the first to return after several generations of piracy on the fringes of Tyria. Likewise, Scarlet’s ‘AI’ persona was named ASP to match up with the snake theme.
- While the Sidewinder isn’t Aurene’s first choice as a Champion for various reasons, under certain circumstances she could, potentially, become the young dragon’s caretaker. However, the egg has not hatched as of yet; due to the differences during the time of Heart of Thorns, she didn’t gain as much magic from Mordremoth’s death and as such, hasn’t absorbed enough energy.
- In the significant amount of time spent separated from Mordremoth, ASP has effectively been ‘rehabilitated.’ While she often still makes snarky remarks and has a notably morbid sense of humor, she doesn’t act on her more violent impulses anymore and is actually highly defensive of her new home. Both she and the Sidewinder defend the Turnabout ferociously. Additionally, most Turnabout residents have become familiar with her since she often speaks through the intercoms and offers assistance for a variety of tasks.
- Most characters aren’t aware that the Sidewinder is Mai; those who do are mainly Captain Kiel and the former Aetherblades from her original timeline. Very few people actually made it out of her original Tyria, so there aren’t many who can-- or will-- confirm or deny her true identity. Some others they’ve taken in from later timelines (Agent Y and Joon, particularly) have a pretty solid guess due to knowing Mai in their own world, but can’t be certain.
- Due to the Sidewinder’s first experience with any ‘Commander’ being so overwhelmingly negative, she tends to be extremely cautious of any others she comes across using that moniker. Even the good ones tend to set her on edge; she’s seen enough timelines at this point to pick up on a pattern, and it always places them as a driving force of destiny. That said, she can grow friendly with Commanders on occasion, should they prove to be friendly in return.
- The Sidewinder never, ever introduces herself as Mai Trin, and her mask contains an auditory distortion module that disguises her voice. She never takes the mask off in public. It also contains numerous other mechanical and electronic components, including an internal screen and various overlays for observing various Turnabout statistics, and a sensory deprivation mode that blocks out visuals entirely if she needs to focus her revenant abilities.
- Her mask and gauntlets work in tandem to help focus the Sidewinder’s abilities; both have extensive jade conduits and circuitry built in, which allow ASP to interface with the Turnabout from anywhere and also prevent it from overwhelming her. If the Sidewinder is going into combat, though, she also has a specialized set of matching pauldrons that increase her power output. Both those and the gauntlets have magic that might seem familiar to those who’ve faced Mai’s revenant invocation in battle... Black spheres of magic surrounded by a red glow, just like the torment-inflicting orbs used by Scarlet when she spirals out of control. That resemblance isn’t a coincidence in the least.
- Sidewinder’s mech glows red instead of green, which may catch some off-guard; any technology influenced by her revenant abilities will change colors to match ASP’s crimson energy signature, and she’s capable of affecting anything that utilizes a suitably advanced system of magitech circuitry. ASP often acts entirely independently of Sidewinder, which can have both amusing and disconcerting results. Mostly it results in the ‘AI’ dropping in on electronic transmissions without permission to deliver quips and commentary.
- While she and Captain K still don’t see eye-to-eye on most things, they’ve learned to forge their differences into a strength. By meeting in the middle on various issues, they often come to much more creative and nuanced conclusions-- and that, in turn, allows them to lead the Turnabout much more effectively. While the Sidewinder typically handles combat management and defensive measures, Captain K is more involved in the political side and handles diplomatic matters.
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“Welcome to the Turnabout. Rules are pretty simple around here: keep your weapons boxed in public spaces, don’t take things that don’t belong to you, fight only in self-defense, and don’t aggravate the AI. She bites.”
“... I’m joking, she doesn’t actually bite. But if you try your luck too much she still might shoot you with a stun cannon, so play nice. We don’t have enough room at the infirmary for every hotshot that feels like playing chicken with the defense protocol.”
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skylinerd · 1 year
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imagine_being_named_cudgel_lol_couldnt_be_me.png took @raccoonattack ‘s sketch of the bar boi and added on a lil! (and no i wasn’t inspired by renfield 2023 sHUT)
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