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#yes that movie about aliens invading the earth
fluffer5 · 1 year
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Humans and our insane biology
My 2nd entry to humans are space orcs.
So, I've always seen in movies that the intergalactic version of healing is via cryopads or filling an entire space tube with some sort of liquid and just chucking the entire person inside to heal for an indefinite amount of time depending on the severity of their injury.
Now, humans don't have the luxury of that. I can sorta theorized that the medical stuff the aliens use would include the use of nanites or galactic medicinal herbs that would speed up the healing process, bumping up a supposedly 10 years of physical rehabilitation and recovery to a few months at most and to those who get the quality herbs, then a few weeks.
Seeing as Earth would be seen as a deathworld, a term I've been seeing for planets that hold life forms but is seen as a hostile planet to other other galactic race, they would be baffled by the slowness of our healing process.
They might think, "Their planet is harsh so their healing process must be very fast". And they're half correct with that assumption. Even the most ill of humans can fight back on a lot of health issues even with minimal medical support.
Infection? Increased white blood cells and even developing a fever to kill this micro invaders via increased body temperature. The body not getting oxygen? Body falls into tachypnea or breathing too fast to get more oxygen. Any feelings of danger? Adrenaline pumps out to give you an extra boost of energy for fight or flight purposes. Injury leading to a cut somewhere on our skin? Have the platelet go over there and cover the cut and have the white blood cells round up the bacteria that could've entered. Hungry with no food? Let me use this fat tissue as energy.
Alien: You mean you heal slowly or very fast depending on your injury?! What if your body can't heal itself or what if you're too weak to do the healing?! *panicking from the stress since humans are technically considered as Eternal Younglings given that they're the fastest to die from their short lifespan*
Human: That's when we go to the hospital. Our version of your healing technology.
Alien: Oh, thank the stars. So how long do you stay in your cryopad if you have a deep injury?
Human: Depends on how deep. If it's just a small cut or a small bruise then we don't go to the hospital. But if the injury is super deep or an organ is not functioning well or we're bleeding from the inside, then we have doctors who put us to sleep with this chemical called anesthesia and they operate on the cut and fix the messed up organs.
Alien: *concerned alien noises* Doctors are like healers, yes? How do they exactly 'fix' you?
Human: So, they inject us with this anesthesia, wait for us to fall asleep, then cut their way through our muscle, fats, and tissues before seeing the organs, maybe cutting up a bit of it to send to the labs or fixing it up. I don't really know the exact details since I'm just your plain worker.
Alien: Child, 'healers' who cut up patients are called as kiarvetj, killers! *exasperated, panicky actions* How... how often did you say that you Terrans go to this hospital again?
Human: Oh, I'm not sure for the rest of my kind but for those who are healthy enough like me who can function and not collapse or vomit blood or get in an accident, then pretty much never. Besides, even if I want to know if I'm sick of something, the price to have myself be medically checked is too much. So I just make do with herbs and stuff.
Alien: I think I'm going to have a word with the UIC (Unified Intergalactic Council) about this... AGAIN!
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gummy-axolotl · 4 months
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I See a lot of Invader Zim stuff on your blog, but I’ve never watched it, what’s it about? Do you recommend it?
*INHALES*
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So invader Zim is a dark comedy early 2000s nicktoon about a small alien sent to invade the planet earth. Little does he know, his leaders only sent him to get rid of him because he's terrible at his job. He does his best to go undercover and infiltrate the planet, but a 12 year old boy named dib sees through his disguise and makes it his mission to stop Zim's plans. There's a lot of random xd humor and dark jokes, including an episode where Zim steals the organs from children. The show was created by Jhonen Vasquez, who became well known from his comic series "Johnny the Homicidal Maniac." Zim is voiced by Richard Horvitz, who you might also know as Billy from TGAoBaM, Moxxie from Helluva Boss, or Kaos from Skylanders. Invader Zim was unfortunately cancelled before the end of the second season, but there is a lot of fan content included MAPs for the unfinished episodes, such as "The Trial," and "10 Minutes to Doom." You can watch it on Amazon Prime (that's where I watch it). There was also a movie that came out 15 years later on Netflix, called "Enter the Florpus."
ANYWAY YES I HIGHLY HIGHLY RECOMMEND INVADER ZIM IT IS SO GOOD AND PROBABLY MY FAVORITE SHOW OF ALL TIME
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heartfullofleeches · 1 year
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Can I show Mono those wack alien movies where like aliens invade earth and humans kill them all to defeat them or something (I’ve never watched any of the “iconic alien films” so uh no specific movie-)
-👁‍🗨
"You'd like to watch a movie, Starlight?"
Mono had just finished with their daily repairs on their body when the question arises. Making your peace with being stuck on an alien ship, you started to wonder about different scenarios. For example what would their option on the sci-fi film genre.
"Yeah, I thought it would be nice to do together... if we can even do that here."
"We can. Follow me."
Mono leads you to a room with white walls. They mess around with the keyboard attacked to their forearm; stopping to glance at you.
"What is the movie you'd like to see?"
You tell them, and they hit a few more buttons before the white walls start to bled away. Suddenly, you standing on an empty street; lights behind you casting a mirror in the puddles along the road. You turn to see a move theater, the name of the movie in question on its board. Mono offers you their hand.
"Shall we?"
Taking their outstretched hand, Mono leads you through the vacant lobby and towards the screening room. You sit down in one of the many empty rows of seats as they press another button. Mono's fingers remain in contact with yours as the move starts, occasionally stroking their thumb over your palm.
Through the movie, they stay relatively quiet; seemingly intriguing by the movie so far and its story, as well as the build up to when the aliens are introduced. When the first kill happens they seek to be- disappointed. Leaning back in their chair with their head rested against their opposite hand. Noticing their change, you call out to them.
"Is everything alright?"
Mono nods slightly.
"Yes. I just wish the humans found... other means to deal with their visitors. My apologies, but the dim lights of the room and having you in such a public yet empty space are leading my mind to-.."
They let out a raspy breath.
"..not so savory thoughts. If you don't mind, I'm afraid I will have to depart from our little date. Unless you'd like to help me with the issue I tend to take care of~"
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Thanks for the answers, you & spider-jay are the reasons why I created that small blog post about the young titans group; details about that and more are coming soon ;)
1: I think you said this already butt what is something they get extremely jealous of?
2: Chris, Jon, & Kons outfits are based on the original designs from the comics, what new & original outfits would you give them? I can see Chris wearing a purple & black version of Zods outfit since his lightsaber color is purple; the Z on the outfit stands for despair & Chris changes it to his own version of hope instead (in my Headcanon)
3: what’s the duos reaction to undertaker losing his wrestle mania streak? If they dislike Brock lesnar, who would they choose to end undertakers streak?
4: what’s your favorite alternative universes of the duo?
5: based on questions in the past from me & others, how do you come up with them? Is it based on your likes or is it you look at the characters & decide “this” is their character?
6: any “fluffy” headcanons of the duo? Like Chris using his shadow powers to cuddle & hug his brothers or Jake.
Apologies for the delays my friend @pin-crusher2000
That being said…..
1) While extreme jealousy is way too harsh to describe it overall as the two are quite accepting and courteous as much as kids their age can be; Chris would have an absolute tiny issue with Conner being the premier and most popular of the junior Supers between him, himself and Jon. Meanwhile, Jake would have a tiny bit of comprehension issues with the fact that his powers, whether he actually wanted them at first or not, came in much later in his life while Mar’i was basically and almost literally born with hers.
2) Conner: A White T Shirt with a Black and Red S Shield, a new leather trench coat with a red underside and a golden S Shield on the back, black pants with a two belts and finally brown workman’s boots. Also, he can keep his trademark shades
Chris: (Don’t get me wrong, your idea sounds great in an off itself. Major kudos. Here’s just my idea for a custom suit) A Light Purple and bright Blue Shirt sleeved shirt with gold trimmings around the collar and sleeve holes, at the center of it a Blue and Yellow version of S Shield only the outer part of it modified to resemble a dragon akin to his canon logo, a yellow cape with a blue underside, a light purple and blue pair of pants coupled with a gold belt plus golden boots which have dark blue soles and his S logo on them, and of course his gold headband.
Jon: A Long sleeved shirt that follows the pattern closely to his canonical suit only it’s an actual shirt and not a sweatshirt, a red cape with a blue underside, dark red fingerless gloves, blue pants with yellow trimmings around the belt area and pockets, and finally some extra high top Converse sneakers.
3) Well…..very similar if anything to that guy from that very Mania, the ‘Just Say Yes’ shirt fella. Once they’re able to actually comprehend their thoughts and emotions for their opinions….they both, while liking Lesnar enough as a performer, agree that it really should’ve been Cena or even better Cesaro who should’ve broke the Streak. And if there had been an older talent given those honors, they could probably vouched instead for Sting or even Goldberg to do it.
4) So far, there are some examples that I can think off the top of my head.
Firstly, there’s what @spider-jaysart and I formulated together based on her ideas for an AU featuring gothic monsters and creatures. Here Chris is a ghost while Jake is a vampire. We call it the ‘Dark Monster Adventure Universe’
One other would be based on Pacific Rim, a movie in which alien kaiju invading the Earth are actively fought back by humanity constructing gigantic Mechas that are piloted by two people who are bound and linked together by their thoughts and feelings for each other, platonic, familial or whichever. The better the pilots bond, the better they fight. In a Pacific Rim AU, it’s a no capes type, but Chris and Jake do pilot one of these mechs, a Jarger, together.
Finally and probably cliches for an comic fan but why not; an AU where Chris is firmly Lor Zod and not only aided his father to take over the Earth and terraform it as a New Krypton with the House of Zod at the helm but also the ruling house makes an alliance of sorts with the Earth based Court of Owls, offering their services for assassinating any human politicians and challengers to the Zods’ rule in exchange for that House to allow them to operate under their protection and with access to Kryptonian tech. It’s through the Court we meet up with their version of Jake as the entirety of the Grayson family are made part of the Owls. Kory and Mar’i are ambassadors of sorts to other alien races that comes across Earth while Dick is firmly in command of the Court’s Talons. Jake would be among the Talons, already having the electrum working in his bloodstream as for Tamaraneans, hybrid or purebred, has a tendency to activate immediately whether the person is still actually alive or undead. Jake in particular serves as Lor’s personal bodyguard, their own adventures usually centering on taking down any rival supervillains or alien warlords who wish to upset this status quo
Sooooo…ironically like that Sinister Sons book in a way….hopefully this is would be better than that one lol
5) I base the characterizations and interactions with these characters with what hopefully is a healthy blend of both their canonical appearances and personalities and admittedly also some of my own interests and tastes influencing them as well. If only really to fill in the gaps their canonical depictions otherwise left out or weren’t explored as much. For instance, given we mainly saw Chris as a six year old and later a teenager, how would a twelve year old version of him who adapted fully to life on Earth would be like or how would Jake’s behavior be like if he not only grew up in a world where his Dad didn’t use a device from Apokolips to end an all out war between metahumans, didn’t follow it up with being the face of an authoritarian regime that makes being meta human illegal and also didn’t have Kory leave the family to establish a resistance force against said regime. All that plus having an older sister.
Yeah as one can tell, wish fulfillment with these guys is a thing for me at least. Though I try my best being consistent with their characterizations within canonical depictions and even in this very AU itself. Keyword try though, I’m sure there’s times I messed it up. I’ll be more than happy if someone points them out. No problem
6)
- When asleep, Jake is probably the second biggest cuddle bug of the entire family, only surpassed by his Mother. It’s almost completely involuntary and an act of pure instinct when it happens as it can be in nearly any place that’s cozy and safe, including but not limited to the couch and his bedroom. It especially kicks in if it’s next to family members but none of them mind it at all. It’s warms their mood up and it literally also warms them up as like with other Tamaraneans, Jake has a pretty warm body temperature even when he’s not directly cuddling anyone
- Also yes, Chris’ shadow constructs can be used to hug those closest to him, especially if they feel down but politely request for their personal space. Shadow constructs though don’t count as breaking that personal space so they allow it.
- Finally, the Duo regularly on some days if the time is right and doable, can visit local children’s hospitals and cancer wards throughout both Bludhaven and Metropolis. They’d spend a good amount of time talking to the many patients there, offering comfort to those who are scared and fearful of their illnesses and injuries, play around the place with those who want to do so whether the doctors are okay with it or not, taking small photos with those patients and their families, and generally just be an uplifting presence for the patients, a lot of them being around their age range or younger.
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cozycryptidcorner · 11 months
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Classic movies I have watched thus far and are ranked according to:
Monster/alien/robot and human action
If the genders were flipped, would it appeal to me more
Is it so bad it's good or so bad it's bad?
Movies Reviewed in the post:
Barbarella
Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women
The Forbidden Planet
Invasion of the Body Snatchers
Life Force
I Married a Monster From Outer Space
Everything (INCLUDING SPOILERS) so far under the cut:
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Barbarella: OK. this one is actually pretty silly. Definitely has aspects that would not be considered "progressive" today that were probably revolutionary at the time. Like I'm sure a woman who had sex with men and enjoyed it would not be labeled as "innocent" the way Barbarella is played to be, but like in the context of the sixties... idk probably was a profoundly intriguing concept. Loved the set and costume designs!!!!!!!!
Rating: 6/10, lots of human/nonhuman action.
Would I enjoy it more if the genders were flipped: Yes, as long as the costumes stayed the same. <3
Not bad. The parts that were dated could even be fun.
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Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women: THIS WAS SO BORINGGGGG!!!!!!!! yup there were definitely come prehistoric (????) women there and they were all blond. I was definitely expecting this to be a low key fetish film about the really bad "noble savage" trope but the team from earth doesn't even see the titular prehistoric women. It's just the team from earth dicking around trying to collect samples while the prehistoric women try to secretly run them off by getting their gods to cause harm. Costume designs looked like cheap party city props.
Rating: 1/10, no action at all.
Would I enjoy it more if the genders were flipped: No.
So bad it's bad, full stop.
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Forbidden Planet: Actually not too bad. Just disappointed that the aliens had been long dead by the time the humans get there. No alien/human or even robot/human action. GREAT set design (I like the look of old scifi set designs even if they don't look "real" i will always believe in set design superiority over CGI), pretty nice costumes. Very predatory romance between all the men of a military crew and the one human girl and some references how "immodestly" she dresses around them (I am rolling my eyes all the way back to my brain)
Rating: 5/10, interesting concept but no human/nonhuman action
Would I enjoy it more if the genders were flipped: that would be an interesting dynamic
I wouldn't call it "bad," just that I'm definitely not the target demographic.
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Invasion of the Body Snatchers: oh i feel the strength of the red scare in this chili's tonight. Very much a "what if the russians invaded our town slowly" deal. No alien fuckery, in fact I'm still VERY confused as to how the switch happens. Because in this film, a pod will grow another human and then take someone's place while they are asleep. BUT in the scene where the main two are running away, when the woman is so tired she falls asleep... she's replaced? okay why grow a pod then. she was fine and then falls asleep accidentally for a few seconds and her humanity is gone but she wasn't replaced.... maybe it made sense in the sixties :/
Rating: 5/10, again. interesting, but no action
Gender flips? No, nothing would change
It's not bad, it's a classic movie for a reason. Pretty solid story line.
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Life Force: NOW THIS IS WHAT I'M FUCKING TALKING ABOUT BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SPACE VAMPIRES? VAMPIRES FROM SPACE? But also on the flip side, have you seen that post where it's like "men who write scifi are like here's a cool world building idea and also how much i fucking hate women." That's this. Decent effects, cool idea, but the main character is just... wild. There's a scene where he's sure a space vampire has taken over a random woman and just beats the ever loving christ out of her, unprovoked. Super uncomfortable to watch. You can tell that this is like an example of how some men view attractive women as sirens that "lure" innocent men with their "wicked beauty" and manipulate them. Not a good look! The set designs are cool tho
Rating: 5/10, would have been higher if not for the violence against women :/ there is human/nonhuman action.
Would I like it if the genders were flipped: yeah probably, as long as the domestic abuse undertones were also removed.
So bad? Oh girl they play it 100% straight. This is a movie about vampires that come from space and everyone is giving it one thousand percent effort in their acting. It's not velocirpastor levels of great, but it's a good movie to watch while high with your friends on a friday night.
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I Married a Monster from Outer Space: oh girl that cold war red scare strikes again. This is definitely playing on the fears that you might just wake up one day and find out your spouse was a spy for the soviet union.
There is a dog, and the dog does die :(
Rating: 6/10, decent movie with drama and they explicitly sleep together in a very hayes code way
Would I like it if the genders were flipped: No, but the gender rolls should be. I played this up in the 'classics reimagined bisexually' but the guy does not actually malewife very hard
It's not bad. It's also not good.
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jakey-beefed-it · 6 months
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List 7 Comfort Films and Tag 7 People
Tagged by @knighthawkchapter. Haven't done one o' these in a while, but here goes. For my purposes, 'comfort movie' is 'movie you would pretty much always plop down to watch if it came on the tv' as well as 'movie you genuinely enjoy'. Comfort in the more strict sense doesn't really factor into all of these.
Willow- The tone is pretty much exactly what I strive for in my d&d games. Yes, there's a plot, there are stakes, and it's fairly serious, but there are also drunken French brownies and slapstick shenanigans taking the piss out of the self-proclaimed great warrior.
Ladyhawke- Different tone from Willow, a bit more earnest and a lot more Medieval (except for the gloriously 80s synth soundtrack) but still a great story about the persistence of love and the shittiness of the church.
Independence Day- An extremely stupid movie with an extremely stupid premise (conveniently biologically similar aliens with even more conveniently compatible computer systems invade Earth for its resources rather than just bombard it from orbit and sift the debris) but lots of fun to watch.
Aliens- The film is just a sci-fi horror action masterpiece. The best parts of Alien- vastness and hostility of space, mounting tension, sense of creeping dread -but with lots of exciting action and character development to boot. And then Ripley and Hicks retired to raise Newt together; end of franchise.
Ghostbusters- Pretty dated already in some critical ways and only getting worse as time goes on, but many of the jokes still land and no movie has made me laugh as consistently throughout my life. Also one of the first films that lodged itself so thoroughly in my psyche it permanently warped my vocabulary.
Pacific Rim- Look. I could probably have just said 'The Entire Guillermo del Toro oeuvre but this one probably better fits the definition of 'comfort' than, say, Pan's Labyrinth or The Shape of Water. It's just a delightful film about choosing hope in the face of incredible odds. Also there are kick-ass kaiju, giant fighting robots, mad scientists, and one of the best love stories (platonic or otherwise) on film. And then Mako and Raleigh retired to hang out together; end of franchise.
Mad Max: Fury Road- I mean, you've seen it, right? Fucking look at it. It's pretty much the Perfect Film- pacing, characterization, cinematography, thematic consistency, law of conservation of narrative. Rewards casual viewing, REALLY rewards analysis. Still frothing at the mouth about this movie after eight years.
Tagging- @motheatenscarf, @petepaintswarhammer, @copperforge, @relentless-endurance, @savvylikeyeahhh, @13skeletons, @adhdgrapher, and anyone else who feels like it and needs the excuse. As always, please regard my tagging you as an invitation which you are free to ignore or decline without causing any offense.
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birthdaycakeplate · 2 years
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Earth Bot culture is having semi violent arguments over which Scooby Doo movie is the best💕
Bulkhead: Ooh, ooh, ‘Scooby Doo Meets the Boo Brothers’!
Mixmaster: Booze Brothas, definitely!
Scrapper: Yeah! I second that!
Dirtboss: You’re tha third, ya dunce.
Bumblebee: That one’s a classic, but it’s not the best. The best is-
Blurr- ‘ScoobyDooAndTheCyberchase’!
Starscream: YES! Yes- Cyberchase, all the way! It’s honestly the only Scooby film I can stand-
Bumblebee: It’s good, but it’s not the best!
Blitzwing: I actually like ze more recent Lochness Monster one.
Ratchet: Eh, I guess I do, too.... But I think ‘Scooby Doo and the Ghoul School’ wins at best Scooby Doo film, Starscream.
Blackarachnia: Finally, we agree!
Starscream: Fine, I take it back. That’s the best one.
Soundwave: Ghoul School; Superior.
Bumblebee: Ok, yes, but-
Blitzwing: Ohh, Ja! How could I forget I like zat one, too!!
Bumblebee: It isn’t about every single one that you like! It’s about which one is the best! Holy spark-
Waspinator: Waspinator like ‘Scooby Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf’ best.
Blackarachnia: I think you’re unwell....
Slipstream: Yeah, yeah, whatever. That ones worthy, I suppose. But check this out- ‘Scooby Doo and the Legend of Vampire Rock’~
Ratbat: *Shrieks*
Grimlock: That Grimlock favorite! That one best!
Bumblebee: But-
Grimlock: No contest!
Thundercracker: Certainly. Unless it’s competing with ‘Scooby Doo and the Alien Invaders’, of course.
Skywarp: Oh my god, I’m in love with that movie~
Starscream: Over rated.
Thundercracker: It’s massively under rated!
Bulkhead: I liked the romance in that one.
Lockdown: I liked that it had a jackalope in it. Those are rare.
Prowl: Those are mythical....
.....
......
.........
Optimus: ....I, ah, like The Witches Ghost best....
*sudden collective screaming*
Soundwave: Obsession: Hex Girls.
Prowl: Excellent contribution. The animation quality, as well as the-
Blackarachnia: They stole my look, but I totally don’t mind~
Starscream: You wish you were as hot as Thorn, Rosie from Bug’s Life.
Blitzwing: I prefer Luna.
Sari: Ok, ok, wait! I actually can’t choose between The Witches Ghost or ‘Scooby Doo on Zombie Island’!
*More collective screaming*
Ratchet: Dammit... they’re both, too perfect. Velma really makes that movie.
Scrapper: I guess those two are in a tie for the best then-
Lugnut: No! I say The Witches Ghost is the best!
Grimlock: Grimlock disappointed in big plane with small brain.
Blurr: Why isn’t Cyberchase getting the appreciation it deserves? WHY?!
Waspinator: Waspinator changes mind to Cyberchase.
Blurr: Oh spark, ThankYouSoMuch-IWasBeginningToThinkYouAllHadSufferedProcessorDamageAtSomePoint-
Bumblebee: GUYS, ENOUGH, ALREADY! ENOUGH! ITS OBVIOUSLY THE SCOOBY DOO WRESTLEMANIA MYSTERY!
*Terrified screeching*
Sari: YOU ARE DEAD TO ME!
Starscream: NO, BUT HE’S ABOUT TO BE!
Blackarachnia: You could have said anything! You could have said ‘Chill Out Scooby Doo’! Or ‘Scooby Doo and the Monster of Mexico’! Why would you do this to us?!
Bumblebee: Would you have accepted, ‘Scooby Doo and the Monster of Mexico’?
Blackarachnia: Yes! The characters are actually lovable and sincere! I would have accepted frgging ‘Scooby Doo in Where’s my Mummy’, not-
Megatron: I like the live action Scooby Doo actually.
Ratchet: Why don’t you go to hell?!
Starscream: THE BETTER QUESTION IS: WHY ARE YOU IN CHARGE OF AN ENTIRE FACTION!? GHOUL SCHOOL WAS RIGHT THERE, COMPLETELY AVAILABLE TO YOU, AND YOU ABANDONED IT! YOUR JUDGEMENT IS FLAWED- YOU ARE FLAWED, YOU SHOULD BE STRIPPED OF YOUR TITLE AND MADE A PUBLIC EXAMPLE OF! AN EXAMPLE OF HOW HORRIBLE A MECH YOU ARE, AND IF YOU HAD SAID THAT TO ME ABOUT 10 MILLION YEARS AGO, I WOULD HAVE LEFT YOU IN GUN MODE, BARREL DOWN IN A TAR PIT WITH YOUR FIRING PIN REMOVED.
Megatron: .....The Witches Ghost is good, too....
Sari: Why don’t you just stand next to me for a while.
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popculturebuffet · 9 months
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It's Not The Years It's the Mileage: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (Comissioned by WeirdKev27)
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Welcome back folks to "It's Not the Years, It's the Mileage", my long look at the Indiana Jones Franchise. And we've come, a bit belatedly thanks to my recent move throwing my schedule out of wack, to our penultimate chapter, what was until just a week ago the final film in the franchise.. and the one most fans like to ignore when their not shaking their fists at it..
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So going into this one was a bit loaded to say the least. I thankfully still had mostly fresh eyes: i remembered this one a bit better thanks to having seen it theatrically with my dad and his friend Don, a really neat guy who really loved star wars and who we also saw the Star Wars Prequels with. As a teen.. I thought it was eh, but I also wasn't that invested in the franchise. So the question is as an adult who now genuinely loves this franchise after two great movies and a mess so far, how will Crystal Skull hit me now? The answer, as always is under the cut.
Saucer Men from Mars
Naturally Indy's 4 starts in the 90's. Last Crusade really felt like the end of the road: The Indy films were now a trilogy, Speilberg wanted to move on, and while Harrison Ford wasn't convinced that more coudln't happen, he also saw the writing on the wall. George Lucas though WANTED to keep it going and during the early 90's tried to convince both men to do a film: Indiana Jones and the Saucer Men from Mars
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You know I thought Indiana Jones and the Monkey King was going to be the most bonkers draft to a potetial indy film I heard of on this journey. Given it involved human chess, cyborg nazis, and Sun Wukong, I had every reason to. But friends thanks to this article at den of geek , I can tell you.. saucer men is somehow WEIRDER.
So the film follows Indy as he tries to marry someone we just meet, has a wedding with every prevoius supporting character present including both of his exes, gets left at the alter , and then has drinks with Marion and Willie. Oh and it turns out his bride to be was called away to investigate A FLYING SAUCER.
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Yeah... the film has Indy having to solve an ancient puzzle before invading aliens torch the earth. Oh and he also has to deal with cold war paranoia, the russians, and DEATH RAYS THAT MELT PLANES OUT OF THE SKY. Did.. did professor farnsworth write this? It also all apparently takes place in one small town which fits the astethic Lucas was going for but REALLY dosen't fit indy at all. indy is about globetrotting.. this is just
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Also Indy gets abducted in a drive in. Yeah this film really sounds more like an invasion film that Lucas just plopped indy into than an actual indy film.
SHOCKINGLY Speilberg wanted nothing to do with this: After doing Schinlders List he decided he was done with Blockbusters for a while, only returning to them for Minority Report and ironically, War of the Worlds, but both had a thinky sci fi undercurrent where as this is just stuff blowing up. As for harrison ford
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So Lucas instead focused on the star wars prequels, and the matter was tabled for a while, though he kept having the film rewrote each time, piece by piece replacing itself. Eventually Speilberg and Ford wer ein just the right position Lucas needed...
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And the film shockingly went off without a ton of hitches despite a near endless script cycle. a few cast subtstitions, some extra cgi and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull happened pretty easily.
And this might come as a shock given it's modern presentation, it certainly did to me.. but the film was WELL recevied at the time. Many a critic, including Roger Ebert, loved it, and it made money hand over fist. Fan response at it's most vitrolic was a resounding..
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Not liking the hoakiness but not really getting the hate the star wars prequels got till later.
So the question is where do I fall in this debate? Is it okay or a true disaster? One that salted the earth so the franchise would never grow again?
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Yeah honestly Crystal Skull is just.. mediocre. It's not OFFENSIVELY bad, but it feels like two legends half assing it. So because of this film being uniquely half assed and having such a rep, i'm going to break it down into diffrent parts than usual: The three biggest complaints people have with the film, Then what I thought about it beyond those. Of Ancient Aliens, Nuked Fridges and Mutt Williams: So yeah when you tend to hear complaints about the film, the three things that get brought up the most are the nuking of the fridge, using aliens, and Mutt Williams. So i'm going to go ahead and get out front of these. Nuking the Fridge: For those not as familiar, which I suspect is almost none of you but humor me, early in the film while fighting the russians, Indy accidently ends up in a nuclear test site and hides in a lead lined fridge to survivied, getting blown clean. He should be dead but isn't. And I... love this sequence. Is indy surviving this implausable? Entirely. Should he have been blown clear for this to at all work? Fuck no. But is it a beautifully shot, tense and fun sequence? Absolutely. The reveal of the manequins got me as a teen and as an adult, knowing the town was fake, I spoted how .. artifical it looked and loved the suspense as I waited for Indy to find out and even knowing how he'd survive this, the tension is awesome. IT's a classic indy ploy. And look this is a series where Shiva killed one antagonist and the Judeo Christian god killed the rest and let a knight live forever. It's okay to have a small bit of bollocks and frankly Indy's survived stuff that should kill him anyway, this is just the first time it was made painfully obvious he's indy-structable. I get not liking it, it is over the top.. but I fucking love it. The Aliens are more of a mixed bag. Now the alien itself we see.. is awesome: the way it arrives by having the skulls assembled with it slowly shifting into the statues, it's intimidating apperance, and the way it fries the big bad's brain in the same way she tortured Indy earlier, a look of contempt on it's face as if to say "You wanted our knowledge CHOKE ON IT". I also really don't have an issue WITH aliens being involved. Is it a tad more sci fi than fantasy? Yup. But honestly pulp adventure is the kind of genre you can take anywhere. While Scrooge McDuck mostly found lost cities he did visit the moon, aliens, and fantasy creatures, and Lucas made the right call in having the aliens be extra dimensional instead: instead of a ship it's more of a teleporter. It being aliens in itself isn't the problem The problem.. is the execution. Looking back on previous indy macguffins and forward to Archemedies Dial, each one has a reason why it exists: The Arc was made to hold the commandments and has the power of god because it's construction was ordained by him and it was hidden because no one should have this power. THe stones were in a place of worship before being pilfiried, fitting for a dieties power. And the grail was hidden because it could ONLY be used in that spot, similar to how in the arthurian stories, which I looked up, the grail had to be kept near the fisher king to heal his father. Here the aliens skulls are spread world wide, beam information into people, and summon the aliens themselves because...
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I don't need to know WHY the arc can melt nazis or the stones can shoot lightning, but I need to know WHY the crystal skulls are what they are. You could say "to get the temple back".. but then WHY did they leave it there? Why were they worshipped? I'm fine with going with the flow and filling in the cracks myself if the storys good enough.. but the mystery here just isn't. Lucas and Speilberg REALLY coast on the idea "aliens isn't that neat", without building up the intrigue from before. The exposition here is just boring. It's just indy talking, saying really nothing, instead of building up a compelling mystery as to WHY these things are here and what the skulls ultimately mean. IT's the films fatal flaw: I often don't care about this adventure beyond Indy and his family... because the story dosen't seem to care. It's scattered around the world because "Well that's what these pictures do" instead of for intresting and well thoguht out reasons. If you want a globetrotting adventure.. you have to have a reason to trot the globe otherwise you just make me wish for the next set peice and that's NOT what these films should be. The non set peice stuff is there to build character, build the mystery and give us a second to calm down. It's just.. boring. Even temple for all it's issue iwth it's downtime scenes, didn't make me wish to turn the film off.
Finally we have Mutt who again is a mixed bag... but mostly a good one. For the first half of the film.. Mutt is actually a great character. He's a greaser sure, and the fact he says Daddy-O later physically hurts, but he's also shown as a troubled kid who has daddy issues, runs away from his problems and is passionate about what he does. He's indy himself, years younger, simply lacking his passion for discovery, somethign Mutt finds along the way allegedlys. And look.. as a person Shia Lebouf sucks. He truly sucks and he's an absuive monster. But I have to admit through gritted teeth he's a good actor, with Transformers being more bad direction and a script that called for him to SCREAM LOUDLY AT THINGS HAPPENING.. ALL THE THINGS ALL THE SCREAMING. He was a good choice for the part and plays off ford well. Sure the Tarzan thing was stupid, and Shia LeBouf was RIGHT to call it stupid no matter what Speilberg thought. No really Stephen took it personally and said "There's a time to speak and there's a time to shut up and eat"
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Dude, oscar award winning film changing dude... sometimes ... it's okay to say something in a film you were in was bad TWO YEARS after it came out. Because it was. You admitted Temple of Doom was bad and should feel bad. How did this bother you?
Mutt isn't a terrible character the issue is more the film.. forgets to really finish his arc. He's mad at indy when he finds out even though he really.. shoudln't be? Indy had no idea he existed? , but this.. never gets resolved. He just accepts it because the movies over, picks up his hat and thankfully never puts it on. Mutt COULD have worked.. but the film just forgets to give a shit about him once his mom shows up and aliens are a comin. He's sadly wasted potetial and luckily the next film finds a way to make up for it with a whole new sidekick reminding indy of his past mistakes. Speaking of character
A Weakness of Character
In my Temple of Doom review I pointed out how it's lack of character arc was one of it's biggest weaknesses: By resetting indy to where he was before raiders, there was no where to really take him. Crystal Skull has the oppositie problem: Now set a few decades later, with an older Indy in a world he dosen't understand the film keeps him ... largely the same. We get some intresting seeds of a man out of time early on: The Goverment, originally indy's steadfast allies, are now in full red scare mode and instantly question Indy for simply having been friends with a traitor to the soviets without considering Indy didn't know, nearly costing him is job. He served in the army, worked hard, did all the things he thought were right.. and now he's getting spat on for stuff not his fault. So what does the film do with this?
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Yeah after our hero leaves on his quest with Mutt and gets trailed by the KGB.. NOTHING comes of this. It has no impact on the plot. And that's the real issue... the movie brings up intresting character arcs for Indy and dosen't pay them off in any meaningful way. We get the knowledge he left Marion at the alter and has commitment issues.. and he uh marries her at the end and their married all the way to dial of destiny. That's it. He clamps down hard on wanting Mutt to go back to college and trying to be a dad.. and er.. he's a dad now I guess? The film starts up intresting ideas but can't finish a goddamn one. IT's what holds the film back: it STARTS really strong but then falls apart. Marion at least is awesome as ever and bringing her back was a top notch choice. Karen Allen is as good as ever, and feels like she's still fleshing Marion out and she plays off Indy and Mutt perfectly. My only regret is she really.. dosen't have much to do in the plot. She's held hostage, gets free, teams up with the rest of the heroes and.. really dosen't add anything. It's a far fall from last time. And that's the REAL problem with the crystal skull. Don't get me wrong, I get why the big three issues I tackled are such a big deal... but this is the subtle death that kills the film. Lucas and Speilberg and writer David Koepp, who wrote freaking Spider-Man and thus should knwo better, just didn't care to finish anything.
It's more apparent in the villians. Kate Blanchett is an awesome actress, as much as I didn't like Tar she does a phenominal job there and was amazing fun as Hela in Thor Ragnarok, but all she's given to be as Irina Spalko is a very sterotpical cold war russian bad guy. There's not substance to her and unlike with Toht there isn't any.. cold looming menace. It was much more personal with the Nazis and I fully respect Speilberg, after portraying them at their deadliest seriousness in schindlers list, for not using them again. This is personal to him for damn obvious reasons. But it was shown with Molla Ram he could make an intimdating villian outside the nazis. Here it's just a cartoon caracture. Irinia comes off like a bad 60's era iron man villian wanting to CRUSH AMERICA AND THE CAPTALISTS instead of the very real dread of a nation ran by dogma and under an unflinching uncaring leader, the stuff we deal with NOW with Russia as they continue to invade an inncoent country.
There's also Mac, Indy's friend who just loves money... and that's it. That's his character. He loves money and sold out to the reds to get it. He's a complete waste of breath and space and should've died int he prologue. I do not care fo rhim. There's also Ox. While John Rhys Davies tries his best... he's just diet Henry Sr. And that's not hyperbole: they wanted him to replace connery, he refused so we're just given this guy we're told is important who mostly goes around half brain dead till he gets his mind back at the end. Crystal Skull.. just has weak character. There was no care or depth put in. Even Thot as horrbile as he is had the thought of being a simple for just how purely monsterous the Nazi's were. Ther'es juts NOTHING here and it makes the film a slog. If your not going to finish any arc or give me a bad guy to actually want see taken down, why do I care?
Odds and Ends: So yeah ONCE AGAIN an Indy film does a racisim. You'd think after last Crusade reduced it to Sallah, who I begrudgingly accept at this point, they WOULDN'T go back to this well. You'd think 19 years later and after they already turned down one idea for the third Indy film for being too racist they wouldn't instead...
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Yeah there's a weird martial arts cult of indegnious peoples depicted as savages. So .. THAT happened and i'm less lenient. Again they had 19 YEARS to learn this shit wasn't okay. Granted anyone familiar with episode 1 can tell Lucas really had learned nothing. But given Speilberg had done MULTIPLE films heavily tackling prejudice, slavery, and genocide at this point, you'd THINK he'd know better. YOU'D THINK. YOU'D. THINK. It's not as in your face as Temple but it's still very much beneath them. I have nothing but contempt for this choice and for them going with it and learning NOTHING about being culturally senstive after 19 years.
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There's also a lot of CGI in this film. It wasn't intended and the practical effects, as before are good.. but the CGI here has aged like mayo topped with a fresh egg and dumped on the sidewalk and left in the hot unforgiving sun for 19 years. The Jungle Chase is paticuarlly bad: while they coudln't find a clear cut jungle to use, they'd of been better off.. doing somethign else. The actual stuntwork is good.
The Motorcycle Set piece is great and should feel great. And overall the goofy tone of the film is one I don't mind: I don't mind it being ab it more over the top outside of it's racist bullshit, and it's more over the top moments remind me of the good in temple of doom and help catapult me out of the dry rest of the film.
So overall.. Crystal Skull.. is
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It has the potetial to be a good film, but dosen't care to actually use it. It's not a GOOD film.. but it's also just not bad enough for me to truly hate it. The good parts help keep it above that as does Karen Allen. It's a bad indiana jones film and a very bleh adventure film.. but it's just not this "RUINED THE FRANCHISE FOREVER" .. thing people desribe it as. If it was to you, I totally get it and could see that, but for me it's just a mediocre disapointing sequel. I've had plenty of those and plenty of worse disapointments sequel wise. Maybe the fact we got a much better one makes it impossible for me to really care. I deeply love indy now, I love this franchise and this is a bloch.. but it dosen't erase the two great films before this or the highs temple had amid the extreme lows. And with the power of time and nostalgia.. it didn't stop someone else from taking one last crack at it. Next Time: We put this retrospective in a box to be examined by Top Men as I look at the final Indiana Jones film, which is still in theaters: Dial of Destiny. Is it good, bad, mediocre? find out with me next time.
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wanderingnork · 8 months
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Military Horror Movies
So this one was a tricky one, because there just aren't a lot of military-focused horror movies out there. But I did manage to find a few! Here they are.
Predator (1987): A group of Vietnam veterans is sent into a deep South American rainforest in an attempt to deal with a Soviet-backed invasion. Things take a turn for the horrifying when they discover that there's a nearly-invincible alien threat hunting them. The characters are cut off from any kind of support. Even their most powerful weapons are useless. Humans are hunted by an unstoppable malevolent force, even more terrifying than a slasher or a demon. It's pitched as a sci-fi action thriller, but I believe that--despite the grand-scale violence, explosions, and hammy shouting--this is the most straightforwardly standard Horror Movie on this list.
Sputnik: Two cosmonauts return to Earth with an extra passenger. The movie focuses on how the Soviet military handles that passenger. Considering that this takes place during the end of the Cold War, you can imagine just what the military might want with a potential alien weapon. Also, the movie was released in 2020, six years after the Russian invasion of Crimea--two years before the Russian invasion of Ukraine. Given that, the timing of a Russian movie that criticizes military excesses and misuse of power is...interesting.
The Lair: In which a team of American/UK soldiers and allies, stationed in Afghanistan, unintentionally awaken unsettling alien creatures in an abandoned Soviet bunker. Full disclosure, this is a movie I vastly did not like. It's very enthusiastically in favor of western militaries invading Afghanistan (despite the best and most complex character being a member of the Taliban, I loved Kabir so much and his actor pulled that role off so well), among other issues, and that was enough to put me right off. However, it is very definitely horror, and the handling of the alien creatures themselves is good. Plus they use practical effects which. Always lovely.
28 Days Later: Taking a completely opposite perspective here on the military, soldiers in this movie take advantage of the chaos of a zombie apocalypse to misuse their power and weapons to commit atrocities. While containing what might be one of the most tense and frightening scenes in horror fiction (the opening walk through silent London), it manages to also turn the military characters in a more viscerally awful threat than an entire zombie horde.
Godzilla (2014): This falls under a little-discussed and controversial genre called "epic horror." The existence of the genre is debated. Classic horror tales with ghosts and serial killers are up close and intimate, taking place in closed, small-scale settings where ordinary characters become extraordinary by confronting or even surviving the horror. Epics are big, lengthy stories about extraordinary deeds and characters whose exploits take place on a great scale, maybe even confronting gods or other cosmic entities in their adventures. Epic horror, then, is about extraordinary characters on a wide stage confronting vast and malevolent beings which they may not be able to defeat, or only defeat at a dreadfully high cost. I'd argue that Beowulf's first two sections (Grendel and his mother) qualify as an epic horror on their own, and even the attack of the dragon has elements of a horror tale. Stephen King's The Dark Tower series is frequently cited as a modern example. This entry to the Godzilla franchise, dealing with heroic soldiers in desperate and perhaps futile battles against massive entities of unknown origin, would definitely count as an epic horror.
Food for thought: Why are so many of the threats in these movies alien or alien-adjacent? What role do guns play? Do they make the horror (alien, zombie, kaiju) less threatening, or does the type of weapon not matter? Does horror have to be intimate and small-scale in order to be truly considered horror? If yes, then what do you think about movies like Nope, Cloverfield, or any movie involving large-scale zombie hordes? Do you think that "epic horror" is a genre, or do you think that it's a bit absurd? How much would you agree with the statement that, in The Lair, the real monsters are actually the movie's main characters?
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Things we do for love...
Like lots of people, I saw "Avatar: The Way of Water." Now, putting aside my personal opinion of J. Cameron's work (with the exception of Aliens) I had many issues, upon the end of the movie, with the movie itself. Definitely congratulations to the work of all those involved, undoubtedly there was plenty of effort and it certainly has to be acknowledged. However, the plot left me with tedium and bitterness. And, no, it's not about the end.
SPOILER!
What annoyed me most, in terms of the narrative itself, is that the story would (in my opinion) appear to be based on a variety of events that have happened in human history. Like the atrociously unfair actions of the Colonizers against Natives from different parts of the world (specifically I think Natives from the areas of current USA and New Zealand & Australia) as well as the War of Vietnam. A good setting, for sure, to have a narrative in which Humans are represented as Aliens, thus a reversal of the standard "aliens invade earth." Interesting. Except that then, throughout the film, the plot itself is just a slightly different copy of the first film, with the one major difference that the main characters have moved from forest to water and the bad guy isn't physically human anymore but has assumed the appearance of the Na'vi.
However, it all remained centered on the one-on-one fight between Jake Sully and Colonel Miles Quaritch. As in the first film. Only, while in the first film it did make sense and was more than all right for laying the groundwork of the narrative, in this second chapter it is (in my opinion) redundant.
The whole first part of the film has been completely ignored, that gory fire sequence that destroyed Pandora's ecosystem and threatened the lives of the Na'vi. Completely ignored the fact that the United States (yes, because I refuse to consider it a representation of the whole Earth) has established, without any logical connection other than that of the self-centered colonizer, that the Na'vi are the enemy to be put down and destroyed, to invade and subdue in order to steal the whole planet. Fully ignored also that, possibly, "earthlings" might be pushed by a sense of desperation for their own salvation, becoming selfishness of actions. It has been totally dismissed that it doesn't even matter whether Sully is here or not, the Pandora forest and the folk living there will still be in danger of death. It's not Sully that draws the war, it's the U.S. Military that brings it to Pandora; to all of Pandora, regardless of Sully.
Sully alone is uniquely able to understand (besides scientists genuinely interested in Pandora's biodiversity and ecosystem, thus peaceful observers and researchers) the humans' line of reasoning and their potential actions, as he was. He was a U.S. Military. Yet he isn't the reason for war, he isn't the one putting Pandora and its people in danger.
The film's narrative, though, seems to concentrate on that. On the one-on-one confrontation of Sully and Colonel Miles. Ignoring that it's just a battle, but there, someplace in all of Pandora, there is a whole war. War of which we no longer are informed, of which we no longer hear. That Sully himself doesn't appear to comprehend is there. It focused on personal struggle, on family, on a desire to protect it, and that's fine, it may be a metaphor to convey the will to stand up for all the Pandora folk and the peaceful life they live closely with nature and environment.
Nonetheless, I didn't find it well-structured and it annoyed me. For I could have enjoyed three hours of more elaborate metaphors about the triviality of evil and the differences between defensive aggression and dominative violence. Of storytelling about humans as invaders of a planet. Of many other potentially interesting things that, instead, are being ignored in favor of a philosophy about family and sea as metaphors of life and death, of hate and love. Nice, admissibly, yet a bit too mild for a second film.
That's all, I just wanted to say it. As I had this opinion about it and wished to get rid of it, since in daily life I can't engage in dialogue about the movie. (I doubt my cousin will follow it).
Ah…by the way. I firmly reject considering the humans portrayed in the film as a representation of all human beings. At most, they are representations of the U.S. Military system and the U.S. government. I don't see, on Pandora, military/scientific bases of other Nations. So, if I don't see and it's not hinted either with visuals (even hasty ones) or with a few hints in casual dialogues, I cannot assume that all humankind on earth knows what is going on on Pandora and agrees. Neither can I assume that other Nations are cooperating with the US. Therefore, for me, the humans portrayed in the film are U.S. military and that's all. Not the representation of "Earthlings." Although, ultimately, there could be a complex and long conversation about this as well.
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the-starry-seas · 8 months
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I wanna know more about your chaotic neutral human?!
Oh man where do I begin 😂
I started writing him in 2015, and that kinda blows my mind when I think about it. I've played him as a faerie prince, Utahraptor shifter, dragon shifter, werewolf, alien, Titan pilot, X-Men style mutant, and normal human. Well, as normal as he can get.
His name is Rowan Castañeda. He's Catalan (when he's from Earth, anyway). The 'default' version of him is the one where he's a raptor shifter, because that's where it started all those years ago. That version also goes by the name Red, because his dinosaur form has red feathers and reptilian eyes. His human form has red eyes and sharp canines, which are hidden by a magical charm that gives him brown eyes and normal teeth.
The best way to sum up Rowan is by saying he's a little crazy and a lot of fun. Very loud and outgoing, loves people. Has more than enough intellect and common sense to clearly and easily grasp something is a Bad Idea, and enough chaotic dumbass energy to decide he's gotta just go ahead with it anyway. Way too fond of bad puns, incapable of keeping his mouth shut when he can comment on something he shouldn't. Loyal to the death, curious about everything, isn't sure how he hasn't been poisoned by food from sketchy street vendors, and interrupts conversations to point out cats. His main interests include dinosaurs, space, Star Trek, historical novels, and monster movies (the cheesier the better). Don't touch his hat or invade his personal space unless you're looking to get your ass kicked, which will almost certainly involve biting. Fluent in Latin and will bitch people out in it (or will ramble about how unbelievably smoking his wife is, Gomez Addams style).
His playby is Óscar Jaenada, originally from The Losers. This BTS gif from (it was an interview I think?) immediately cemented the idea of a playby for him bc it was so exactly what I had in mind. Cocky little fucker who would suckerpunch God to protect his family, or even if it just seemed like a good idea at the time.
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He's bisexual and nonbinary, and grew up in Ripley, California with an older sister (Laura) and twin brother (Raul). His brother disappeared when they were sixteen, and a year later, Rowan was kicked out by his parents for being queer. He moved to Los Angeles to live with his uncle, a Marine Corps veteran, and Rowan followed in his footsteps by enlisting at eighteen. He became a highly skilled sniper but turned down promotions because he liked the job he had.
At twenty-one he impulsively married a girl named Amber, who he'd known for three hours. The next year, they had a daughter named Elena. She was born partially deaf and Rowan became fluent in ASL to communicate with her.
At twenty-nine, he was injured in the line of duty and got a medical discharge. His sister divorced a few months ago, and she and her daughter Alejandra moved to a new house with Rowan's family, since her ex was being a dipshit and Rowan wanted her to be protected.
He started college courses to become a paleontologist. (Yes, the dinosaur shifter has a dinosaur-related job. I think I'm funny.) He was active in fieldwork for another 5-10 years, depending on the timeline, before taking a job as a curator at a dinosaur museum so he could be home more and have more regular hours.
In my favourite version of his character, his new curator job was at a museum in Gotham, cause that town is clearly the first choice of any normal and well-adjusted individual. He was also an active vigilante, bc nobody believed the criminals saying a dinosaur attacked them, and he had zero concern of being connected to his illegal activities.
Bonus Rowan art from when he's older in his forties:
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greenlodgecypher · 1 year
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Giant Robots (And the space war)
From Adria, Green Lodge
Japan has really got it made. For years now (definitely since the late 70s, but with roots before that) they’ve been making animated TV shows featuring giant robots and surprisingly clever writing. They prove the ever-contested rule that animation isn’t just a kids’ medium.
Are these shows for children? The merchandising says yes (and if you’re familiar with Transformers, you’re familiar with several of these properties). On the other hand, unlike Transformers, whose appeal seems to lie in what people wish the story was like, Japanese TV producers don’t seem to mind getting a little grown-up about their stories. Mobile Suit Gundam is literally World War 2 in space, with an invading space nation attacking Earth and driving a surviving crew of pseudo-Allied soldiers (and civilians) around the world. It’s a war story, with the expected level of angst and an interesting focus on environmental destruction. All the same, it’s full of giant robots, too. Sometimes they’re a bit goofy, but in some of the shows in the series, they feel about as real and well-used as tanks or fighter jets. Giant Gorg is another such show: made by many of the same artists, it takes a very different approach. It’s a show-in-a-bottle, with a child protagonist, and a much more cartoony conflict between a corporate military and the titular Gorg. Still, the TV networks here would have a hard time understanding its draw. The plot has almost the feel of a seventies sci-fi novel, except the lead is far more innocent. There’s no major focus on “saving the girl”, and no need to utterly destroy the alien antagonist. The alien’s motives are reasonable, and the only real enemy is the greedy corporation. You can't sell toys when you're the bad guy. Macross is another war show, but with a fun twist: the invading aliens are so regimented that they have forgotten cultural elements like music. Like Gundam, this show has a strong focus on its mechanical illustration (although perhaps a lower art budget). Transformers fans will find some familiar jets here, as well, since the toy lines are related. The connoisseur of Japanese giant robots will find many, many other shows or films of varying levels of realism: Vifam, Madox, Ideon. Not a lot of these shows have releases in the US, but you can read about them in magazines or sometimes online. You can also acquire tapes from the right sources, although they might be unsubtitled. Shows like this prove the argument that animation isn’t just an adult medium, but one that can provide grounds for artistic and creative expression that just don’t seem to happen in life-action movies (no offense to Robot Jox, which is fun if you like stop-motion). We’d like to see a live-action Macross or Gundam, but we’re not sure anyone would be up to that!
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evilkitten3 · 2 years
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i will say that i find it annoying how quick mcu fans are to blame fury about every little thing. like i've seen people object to nat's "eighty people in two days" comment by saying that fury was responsible for most of them (which he was, but quite frankly a government agency that exists to protect earth from extraterrestrial threats should be willing to accept members dying to keep a hostile alien from escaping with the most powerful object earth has literally ever seen, so i actually have no problem with that decision of his - everyone in that base was shown to be highly trained and aware that death was a likely outcome– note that loki knifing several people in the throat did not cause anyone to turn and run. they're secret agent soldiers, this is their job)
BUT nat pinning that on loki isn't fury's fault. we have no reason to think he told her anything but what actually happened, as nat is as much of a professional as any of the soldiers in that base were. i don't know if that was intentional manipulation on nat's part (again, i have no problem with that– twisting the truth to motivate people to fight back against the alien whose stated intention is world domination is fine by me), or if she just made an assumption and fury didn't care enough to correct her (in which case the blame would be somewhat on him but frankly getting into semantics when you need to be focused on the actual alien threat is kinda pointless), or if nat just has a mindset of root cause->fault (which would've been interesting but g-d forbid we focus on nat's personality instead of her ass), but it's still not fury's fault that she said that
fury was one of the best characters in the first avengers movie (which wasn't like cinematic brilliance or anything but you know what it was a fun movie and i enjoyed it cringe isn't real in this instance), and people are way too willing to ignore the surprising amount of depth that movie gave him in favor of "government man bad" (which. ok yes i agree with that in principle irl but tony stark is a billionaire and thor tried to invade a sovereign nation like a year ago; you gotta make allowances for fiction or else they're all horrible)
the council fired two missiles at new york. everyone remembers tony yeeting the second into space, but i think people forget that fury took down the first one (somehow without killing the pilot):
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to be clear, the world council are basically his bosses. they ordered him to nuke the city and he refused. they went and did it anyway. hill warned fury and he managed to stop the first missile himself and was also the one who alerted tony to the second.
just..... credit where credit is due, yeah? fury's not a cardboard cutout of a character, he's probably the mcu's first real attempt at a protagonist character entirely in the morally gray zone whose decisions and actions as a character are both shown in a way that also the audience to understand where he's coming from while also giving them the space to say whether they think he was right or not.
the whole "using the tesseract to make weapons" thing makes sense. he has a good reason for it too– even ignoring what we learned in captain marvel, the events of the first thor movie made it clear that aliens were out there and could fuck shit up, something agents of s.h.i.e.l.d. then established he'd known even before that. and he's right– earth really, really, really isn't prepared to defend itself against what's out there.
also, kudos to that scene in particular for doing a pretty good job of giving characters reactions that made sense for those characters (usually this is something that shouldn't need brownie points, but it's whedon, so not basing the whole thing on snark that could come from anyone is a step up). steve is against making weapons with the tesseract bc that's what hydra did (and while he has every right to feel that way and be angry about fury not mentioning that, i feel like it needs to be said that there's a noticeable difference between "i'm making this to take over the world" and "i'm making this so we don't get murdered by fucking aliens"), tony is against it bc he has weapon-making trauma, bruce is against it bc he doesn't trust the government (nor should he), thor is against it bc he thinks humans are meddling with what they shouldn't (which. sure but that's sorta our thing. we're the "hey what's that let's meddle with it" species), clint isn't there, and nat doesn't give two shits.
anyway this is a whole lotta nothing but i love nick fury and he deserves better than being written as a cardboard cut-out convenient antagonist in fanfiction (especially if the author goes out of their way to have coulson and hill be good guys trapped under fury's tyrannical thumb. real subtle, y'all.)
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rudo-lfium · 1 year
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Warning: looooong ass post/rant
So I've watched Avatar in the theater (that stank of mice), and I found it offensive not only to my olfactory senses but to my intellect as well. The plot of The Way Of Water is so watery I am not even going to apologize for the clumsy pun.
This story, it's so silly, I don't even... I mean, James Cameron is such a grand figure in cinema, how did he allow for such a script to even see the light of day? I mean all you need to do when you are making up a story in a fantasy world populated with fantasy people is compare their actions with real people, ask yourself if that's what real people would do in such circumstances, and if the answer is "no", then you need to correct the story, otherwise it is not going to be credible!
But sea (ha-ha) for yourselves. Just try to take this in: so the "Earth baddies" return to Pandora to get Sully's treasonous ass. Yeah, sure, they let slip somewhere that they also want to do some colonizing and terraforming, but seeing that in all the 14 hours of screen time they did exactly none of that, the whole colonization thing must be just a side quest to them. Somehow Sully realizes that all the hubbub is about him personally, and he says to his wife and kids "Hey, I got a great idea, since these angry earth dudes are after me, our presence here in this village is endangering the other other villagers, so let's all up and leave, and run and hide, and this way we shall PROTECT the village!"
And guess what, his dumbass wife after a moment's hesitation says "Sure, that's a splendid idea, I fully endorse it, let's do it at once." And they pack the fuck up out of there and leave their kindred behind for the earth baddies to stomp (because, remember - they are still colonizing the shit out of Pandora no matter what). The Sacred Tree, the ancestors' graves, all of that legacy gets abandoned -- just run and hide. He was the Chief of the tribe, too, mind.
"When danger reared its ugly head
He bravely tucked his tail and fled
Brave, brave, brave
Sir Toruk-Makto!"
And they go and instead of settling on some distant uninhabited island where no one can find them, they join another village, so they can endanger THEM with their presence instead, which is what ultimately happens. Duh!
Yes, they travel a thousand miles and reach a tribe that lives on a collection of islands, like a beautiful archipelago, and they call themselves "the water people" or something, and not only do they speak the same language as Sully's tribe (a thousand miles away, okay?) but they also accept them with almost no reservation. In fact, the only one that's at all concerned about these newcomers is the Chief's wife, but do you know what she finds disturbing? Not the fact that these guys are running from an advancing army of alien, fucking, invaders but because their tails aren't of the same shape as hers! She looks at them and goes "Why joo want to stay wid us? You can't survive underwater with tails and hands like that!" And I'm looking at her like bish, are you alright? You're a LAND creature, ffs, you don't LIVE underwater either, you're a goddamn biped! You only dive in the water SOMETIMES to hunt or do synchronized swimming with f*cking turtles, etc. What do you mean "you wouldn't survive underwater"? And your ass would??
Anyway they start living with them, and life in this other tribe is complete goddamn paradise, there are no hardships of survival, no one works, no one gets sick, no one needs anything fixed, no one is constructing anything, there's just this complete and utter marine idyllic, all they do all day is frolic in the waves and TALK to sea animals. Yeah, you read that right. Animals all know sign language. There must be a co-ed na'vi-sea-turtle school somewhere on those islands that teaches finger alphabet to predominantly finned creatures of the sea, but they left it offscreen. Sometimes I felt like the movie was made by Disney and they somehow slapped Cameron's name on it without him knowing. The life of this water tribe is so absurdly hakuna-matata, it's like they're living inside an amusement park and all the rides are free. So you, as a spectator, spend about a week and a half watching them do underwater donuts astride Pandoran seals, and ride flying crocodile-fish, and talk to whales, and sometimes ponytail-fuck an underwater Sacred Tree (which appears to be a common occurrence on Pandora and thus loses all importance and meaning in the plot, so it's just there, because water people also want one, I guess). Oh yeah, and they learn to hold their breath underwater for an almost indefinite amount of time, thusly becoming "one" with the water tribe.
Naturally the Earth baddies follow Sully to the archipelago and turn everyone's life to shit, but instead of feeling an e-e-e-tsy bit annoyed with Sully's family for bringing the war with them, the water tribe is like "Yay, what joy! You are now our BRETHREN! In fact, we are so pleased with you, why don't you stay with us forever? Here's our underwater Sacred Tree, go pigtail-fuck it to complete the ritual!"
AND THEY DO.
THE END.
Yes, that is the story.
The war isn't even over, they haven't defeated anybody. The cliffhanger is left in place for "movie #3", undoubtedly. But wait, did I mention the villain? It's the Colonel from the first film. The dead Colonel whom Neytiri left skewered on a bunch of 12-foot long na'vi arrows. They resurrected him through a custom avatar that was grown especially for him back on Earth. No one knows why. So the movie can happen, I guess? Or maybe the Earth Armed Forces are experiencing a catastrophic shortage of Colonels, otherwise they'd sent someone else, but what can you do, there are no Colonels left, absolutely have to spend a gazillion space dollars on a bespoke avatar for this guy. And another gazillion on the members of his original squad, because apparently there's a shortage of privates as well. And a few gazillions more on putting together a space armada so he can get back to Pandora and hunt down Sully. Wait, wait, you may ask. So the whole purpose of this enterprise was that some Colonel can have his revenge on some private that's gone over to the other side in a war that took place in a past life? In another galaxy? Yes. Yes, that is so.
There are two more aspects that I found especially irksome. First, Sully keeps harping on how he wants to PROTECT his folks, how his role as a father is that of a DEFENDER. Then why in the fuck did you run away and leave your wife's people to an invading horde's mercy then? Why TF did you leave your own tribe behind? They named you Chief and entrusted their lives to you -- how could you abandon them in the face of an invasion from an aggressive alien race? Wouldn't staying and calling the banners on all the other tribes that you'd allegedly "united" as Toruk-Makto, and fighting back -- wouldn't that be the noble thing to do? The very idea that running away is somehow a manifestation of being protective is laughable. And so are all characters who agree with him without a hint of irony.
When else was Sully being protective, hmm, let me see, it must be when he said to his wife "Honey, the Colonel has got our daughters, grab our remaining kids and stay someplace safe while a gather a team of fierce warriors and go deal with the motherfucker and save our girls!" But that's not what he said. He was like "Um, honey, why should I risk my ass alone, you can shoot can't you? Let's go and risk our lives together, and fuck them kids who are bound to become orphaned should we fail!" Right, what a fatherly slash husbandly attitude.
The second thing is the whole "you must learn to stay underwater very-very long or else we aren't going to accept you in our water tribe" situation. You see, the final battle is taking place on a sinking human ship. I mean, it's sinking. Sure, the Colonel's gang has got your two girls tied up to a railing with some rope (not even a chain), but THE SHIP IS SINKING. Get the hint? It's removing itself from the surface of the sea, where everyone can breathe, and placing itself under the water, where you and family can hold your breath, like, forever, and all those bad guys CERTAINLY can't! LET THE FUCKER SINK, you idiot, wait for the bastards to suffocate and then go untie your daughters, I mean, if they can ride Pandoran giant herrings deep inside coral mazes and swim alongside whales while grabbing onto their fins for miles and miles -- surely they can endure a couple of minutes of HOLDING ABSOLUTELY STILL and waiting for their Dad to come fetch a knife? *shakes head* But no, no. We can't have that. Neytiri, Sully's wife, has had absolutely nothing to do this whole movie. She's just kind of *there*, like furniture. She *cried in anguish* twice but aside from that -- nothing. We need her to at least shoot her bow and arrows at somebody (a family heirloom pompously given to her by her late father), so let's engage in a life-threatening shootout with a squad of earth marines in avatar bodies armed with machine guns and grenade launchers, right? Because bows and arrows have worked so well in the past, right? Those Aztecs and Mayans sure did lick them pitiful conquistadors armed with their puny muskets and harquebuses, didn't they. *head shaking intensifies*
The theater was full, by the way. Every seat taken. No one left. With about 1.5 hours to go I stepped outside to quickly meet somebody about an errand. I must have spent about 15-20 minutes on it. When I came back, nothing changed. The mice still stank . People were still filling their seats, their eyes glued to the screen. "Oh my god," I thought to myself then. "I'm inside the Idiocracy movie."
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saintofdaggers · 1 year
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A strange and unsettling reading rec list
Kobo Abe: The Box Man, The Woman in the Dunes, The Face of Another
Kobo Abe was a prolific Japanese postmodernist author whose work deals heavily with questions of identity, existence and meaning in odd and surreal settings. The Box Man starts out as a tale of urban alienation before plunging headfirst into a confusing labyrinth of questions unanswered; The Woman in the Dunes sees an everyday figure trapped in a nightmarish living situation with a mysterious companion, while The Face of Another is a twisted meditation of identity and appearance (the latter two have also been adapted into excellent movies by New Wave director Hiroshi Teshigahara).
Italo Calvino: Invisible Cities
This lyrical, haunting journey takes us into the world of cities. Imaginary cities, existing cities, fantastical, dreamed and made up, will-be or has-been cities. Do you understand it? Do you feel it? It works both ways.
Adolfo Bioy Casares: The Invention of Morel
While not perfect, this unsettling pseudo-sci-fi novella from a contemporary of uncanny master Jorge Luis Borges has one of the most twisted, surprising and grotesque endings I’ve read, embedded in an atmosphere of guilt, paranoia and unrequited longing.
Leonid Andreyev: The Red Laugh
If you are looking for the most visceral, haunting, surreal yet utterly believable depiction of the horrors of war, look no further than this short story from an underappreciated early Russian realist.
Daisy Johnson: Sisters
A tense, dreamlike, vinegar-sharp twist on the classic Gothic premise of ‘strange women in strange houses’, this short little novel was one of the most surprising and satisfying reads of the year for me.
Victor Pelevin: The Yellow Arrow
Without spoiling the premise, this little travel story is both heavily existential and elegantly symbolic, while steeped in the categoric Eastern European down-to-earth reality, and just enough mystery to make you think. Studying it in college was a formative experience for me.
Friedrich Durrenmatt: A Dangerous Game (US title: Traps)
Not to be confused with the similarly-titled classic short story, this novella is from a brilliant Swiss writer who has been my favorite ever since my middle school German teacher put him on my radar. A master of the odd, the tragic and of the blackest comedy, most of Durrenmatt’s catalog makes for very rewarding reading; but this novella, about the nature of guilt and the absurdities of the justice system was another memorable piece of college study in my life.
Han Kang: The Vegetarian
If you haven’t read yet this (deservedly popular) haunting, powerful story of a woman’s quest for autonomy and identity, do it. Reading it feels like being doused with a shower of ice-cold water and blood - and I mean that as the highest compliment.
Kathe Koja: Extremities
Ex-horror author Kathe Koja first got on the literary radar with her Stoker Award-winning debut novel The Cipher; however, this collection of surreal, grotesque and disturbing short stories is much lesser-known than I feel it deserves. To sum it up: Extremities is a trip to that thin little border where the impossible and the nightmarish breaks through to invade everyday life. Whether the protagonists can deal with it or not... read it and find out.
Pierre Boileau, Thomas Narcejac: The Woman Who Was No More, Faces in the Dark
Boileau-Narcejac were a prolific French crime-writing duo who have sadly fallen to the wayside in recent years, except for fans of classic crime thrillers and European crime fiction (you might know them as the people who wrote the novel Vertigo is based on - yes, the Hitchcock movie). These two novels, from the few of theirs that have been translated into English, are incisive and creepy psychological trips into the psyches of disturbed individuals: a murderer and a blind man who suspects his family members of a strange conspiracy, respectively. Both are twisted, surprising and written with potent imagery that I guarantee will stay with you.
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darthkvznblogs · 10 months
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Given that the K-verse Earth has a direct line to Kree files, did any human governments help Shatter and Dropkick hunt for Bumblebee? Or did the 'Cons arrive before Hala's fleet?
So, the timeline goes like this:
-The Kree blockade is established sometime in the early 20th century, as their monitoring devices identify the first attempts by humans at powered flight
-First Contact with the Kree happens in 1965, when a young Max Tennyson tests an experimental SSR spacecraft secretly derived from a crashed Kree shuttle and gets captured by the blockade. He escapes, fleeing into the wider galaxy and becoming the Omnitrix's wielder for about a decade. In this period, the Kree blockade is forcibly removed by Max.
-Bee crashes on Earth in 1967, with Blitzwing hot on his trail. They duke it out, and the "young" Autobot comes out on top, grievously wounded. He shuts down for self repair protocols, and remains that way for decades.
-Captain Marvel kicks so much Kree ass in 1994 that the Empire is forced to make an overture of allyship with Earth via SWORD. Hala the Accuser is put in charge of the new allied fleet, meant to enforce the existing Exclusion Zone and protect Earth from would-be invadeers.
-Charlie Watson inadvertently wakes Bumblebee up in 2005, drawing the attention of a nearby Decepticon patrol consisting of Shatter and Dropkick. The two lone Cybertronians manage to land on Earth undetected by attaching themselves to small meteorites that burn up in the atmosphere. Given the all-but-certain-to-be hostile Kree above, they track down the signal mostly on their own, with the eventual aid of certain anti-alien elements within SWORD that they deem to be trustworthy (similar to Sector 7 in the movie but on a smaller scale). Despite the odds, Charlie and Bee succeed, killing the Decepticons. The SWORD cavalry arrives a bit too late to help, but they do at least officially offer asylum to Bee (despite Hala's protests) and let him stay with Charlie.
So, yes, Shatter and Dropkick did have some human help (not that they got along, but they each figured they'd end up killing each other anyway), but they did not have the aid of any government or paramilitary organization per se.
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