#yes my exams are rapidly approaching and i can't see it as anything other than a doomsday situation. everything will go wrong and it'll be

[bredforloyalty]

I only have a will to live and aspirations or goals or any hopes for the future at all when nothing bad is happening and I'm in a really good mood

#if someone's not telling me every day that life doesn't and won't suck‚ coupled with personal anecdotes and statistics as proof‚ i want to #cease fo exist :/ #like. who is supposed to keep my spirit? me???? lmao have you met her like.... she cannot be trusted #kata.txt #yes my exams are rapidly approaching and i can't see it as anything other than a doomsday situation. everything will go wrong and it'll be #humiliating and my friends will hate me and i won't get a job and my parents will kick me out :| #if i try to tell myself this is unrealistic‚ I'm like‚ okay‚ let's assess the‚ the situation. #what makes me think I'll pass the exams? #and then i find some reasons like the times my essays were praised and then i poke holes in those reasons like i didn't write the essays in #as much time as i'm gonna have at the Hungarian exam. so when it comes down to it‚ i won't be able to write a good essay #so nothing is certain so I'll fail and this'll be the first big Fail that'll have consequences #it's just all so. hm #nothing is real‚ there's not a single thing i know about myself‚ not one #and everything is a circle bc my thoughts keep returning to themselves (◡ _ ◡) #literally when crywank said sometimes i wish i was a goat. i don't want ''reason'' and ''feelings'' i want to sleep #preferably not wake up