#yes it's unhealthy no nobody should act like that irl | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kuromichad · 3 years

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also im just truly over the idea that kink is an automatically evil thing or that only people who are like disgustingly excessively obsessed with sex ever have kinks like. its just normal dude. you cant paint it with a broad brush. for the most part i even think that like being able to deliberately name something as a kink and engage with it calmly in a community makes things soooo much more normal like. a person who is like 'yeah i like virginity and pregnancy stuff, i like roleplaying it and seeking fanfiction about it or whatever' is 99% of the time completely normal in contrast to like some conservative christian who is also obsessed with those things but in an ideological way.

many times people have kinks for things because they know it would be unpleasant or unhealthy in an uncontrolled/irl context, whether that's ranging from 'i dont actually want to get pregnant right now' to 'my partner should know they don't own/control me' to 'yes, dude, injuries are bad when unexpected/severe/etc and that's completely different from deliberate painplay'. people like to act like theres somehow zero self-awareness involved in being kinky when its generally like... the opposite. people arent typically going around being like 'yes, i think spanking is good for society because i get off on it and im going to advocate for its existence as like, policy' and if they are (like, actually are, like taking action in normal life, and not just expressing a fantasy in a space meant for stuff like that) then that's... the individual's issue, or maybe the specific sub-community they're in, and not.. the entire concept of anyone anywhere being turned on by similar things as that person who is doing shitty things? god.

i feel like this kind of discourse is so deeply fueled by a reflexive belief in npcs or something. nobody else can possibly be rational and competent and respectable about the things they do that you don't personally agree with or relate to because if they were smart and compassionate and thoughtful Like You they would obviously arrive at the exact same conclusions as you, therefore any happenings that you dislike are clearly being endorsed by everyone else in that group because they're not choosing to completely disavow the whole concept and go join the Clearly Correct side (your side). it's such a cynical and childish way to view other people.

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chiibinomonodamon · 5 years

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Let’s Clear Up Some Misunderstandings about ZackRay, SHALL WE?

Yes, I think we shall......due to all this idiotic discourse going on here.

*Note: I cannot speak for ALL ZackRays but I do believe from my interaction with many of them, they have similar feels. What I’m posting here however? This is coming from my own personal feelings.

1. “Shipping ZackRay means you support pedophilia.”

A: F*CKING NOPE....first of all, let’s get into what “shipping ZackRay” means, for me, okay....

Yes, I ship ZackRay. I referred to it as a Platonic Until Legal Love”. Which seemed to give people the misconception that “it’s waiting for a child to turn 18 so they can consent to sex”.

THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT.

Perhaps that was a very poor choice of words. Ugh. So let me explain in more detail:

I feel that Zack’s feelings for Rachael will remain platonic until she grows older and then it is possible for romantic feelings to be slowly realized over time.

Because let’s get one thing straight; I don’t think we can deny:

Issac Foster is not able to recognize what love actually is, even by the end of the series. Nobody has taught him this. He’s not emotionally mature enough to understand it. Yes, I think he feels it towards Ray subconsciously. He feels something. He knows he cares for her in a “I would be glad if you did not die/ I don’t think I can live without you” kind of way. But he hasn’t thought of it outside of that. Therefore, if he is not aware of a romantic attachment, he can’t really act on it, which cancels out (God forbid) any type of sexual feelings he would have towards her. Which cancels out “waiting until she’s legal”. Which I agree, is messed up. Ick. Btw I hate Usagi Drop’s ending. A lot.

So if you’re under the impression that I’m expecting Zack and Ray to suddenly start making out right after the last scene, uh NOPE, I’m not. What I ship...(what a lot of people ship) are those possibilities far....FAR....into the future where Zack eventually understands that Ray is the only person he wants to be with....for the rest of his life. Period. And what exactly is wrong with two consenting adults agreeing to be with each other? That’s right.

NO-THING.

It’s not wrong just because he knew her when she was a young teenager. He was not looking at her in that way. She was simply important to him as a person. And if she were to try to kiss him or something while she was young, his response would likely be “WTF ARE U DOIN”. An appropriate one, yes. XD

I was ALSO referring to my own feelings when talking about PULL. In other words, I don’t really approve of sexual ZackRay content unless she is portrayed as an adult. Mmkay....moving on.

2. “ZackRay shippers look for porn of the ship while Ray is still a child”

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. THAT IS GROSS. NO THANKS, I REJECT.

3. “ZackRay shippers think adults being with kids IRL is okay.”

..........whatisthisIdon’teven.

Hey, is Zack your favorite character? Yeah? THEN YOU MUST THINK SERIAL KILLERS IRL ARE REALLY COOL!!! YOU WANT TO BE ONE, RIGHT? KILLING PEOPLE IS GONNA BE YOUR HOBBY TOO, RIGHT?

..........uh......see how idiotic that sounds? Don’t you just love being accused of that shit? Yeah, it’s really fun, isn’t it?

4. “ZackRay shippers are horrible, spiteful people who attack antis for disliking their ship”

Okay, there is a difference between “disliking a ship” and “opening attacking strangers online”. You don’t like our ship? Fine, I can respect that. Let us go our separate ways and not speak of this matter again.

DON’T.

GO.

LOOKING.

FOR.

FIGHTS.

Don’t call people out on social media posts. Don’t reblog their posts and publicly ridicule them. Don’t reblog their art and insult it. Don’t mention their names, don’t bully them, don’t TRY TO GET OTHERS TO BULLY THEM. This is sick. This is just wrong. I have recently found out that kids under 18 do in fact ship ZackRay. Which means when you attack, stalk, and harass them on tumblr, YOU COULD BE EMOTIONALLY HURTING A CHILD. Ironic for all the antis going “PROTECT TEH CHILDREEEEENZ!” Yes, protect them from your toxic attitude, how about?

5. “ZackRay shippers create content that is harmful because pedos can use it to groom children.”

And the antis seem to be under the delusion that they are SUCH special snowflakes because they were groomed this way; no guess what, ZackRays are also humans (despite what you may think) and have fallen victim to the same shit. Also, news flash, anything can be used as a grooming tool. YES, ANYTHING. And there are WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY more harmful ships out there (THAT ARE CANON) than ZackRay. I’ve been an anime fan for a long ass time. You think I don’t know about all the lolicon kiddie porn? You think I don’t know about Boku No Pico? THAT’S the shit you should be worried about kids and pedos finding. Not that I think fiction is really going to increase child rape crimes. If someone is intent on harming a child, they will. Reading or seeing fanart online isn’t going to influence that. They have a psychological disorder, unnatural addiction, and a lack of morals. These issues are rooted far deeper than just seeing stuff online. Getting rid of that stuff will change literally nothing. The only way a pedophile can change is to get professional help. And schmucks ranting online about how fans shipping is bad is NOT professional help. It’s certainly a professional waste of time.

6. “If shipping ZackRay is a groomed victim’s way of coping with that trauma, that’s unhealthy.”

STOP.

Are you a psychiatrist? Are you an expert in dealing with rape victims? Have you examined this individual you are criticizing?

No?

Then f*ck off. Every person is different. Every story is different. This is a stranger on the internet; who the f*ck are YOU to tell them “that coping method is unhealthy”? You don’t know their life story. You don’t know what works for them. Do you think everyone with anxiety copes with it the exact same way? Depression? Eating disorders? I happen to have an anxiety disorder, myself. Recently a friend of mine informed me that she was also diagnosed with one. I told her my symptoms and I told her what I did when I got an attack.

Guess what?

What she experiences and what I experience are as different as f*cking night and day. I was trying to be a helpful friend but it turns out I was not able to help her at all. I thought I could because I thought I was experienced. But I’m not. It was a real eye-opener.

So don’t generalize people that way. You know nothing about what they went through. Get off your f*cking high horse.

Conclusion: These six misconceptions were the most problematic ones I can think of. Now some Q and A:

Do you draw NSFW ZackRay?

No.

Will you reblog it?

No.

Do you write NSFW fanfics?

No. I’m really not into sexual stuff at all and would be terrible at writing it.

Do you support people who do?

People have the right to draw and write whatever tf they want. Censorship is bad. Just don’t harm anyone IRL. Please.

Where do you draw the line at romantic ZackRay content YOU draw, write, or reblog?

Cuddling, chaste kissing, hand-holding; absolutely nothing worse than what you’d see in a Disney movie. Romance-wise. I got nothing against Zack swearing like a sailor the way he always does. xD

Do you ship ZackRay because of their ages?

*bangs head on wall*

No, I ship them because of who they are as individuals and how they act when they are together.....you know, like a normal person.

Thanks for reading my long-ass rants.

Feel free to PM me, ask more questions, send me hate mail, whatever. I’ll probably just print out your hate mail and use it as toilet paper though...if I didn’t already block your ass. :’D

#satsuriku no tenshi #angels of death #zackray #issac foster #rachael gardner #anti-shipping

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scullyeffect · 5 years

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how do you feel about younger people in fandom? like the youngest side that are probably on tumblr i.e 13/14ish?

i don’t know if you mean in the x-files fandom, or just younger people getting involved into fandom stuff online nowadays so i’m just going to go with a generalization.

i’m nobody’s mother and interests are healthy, and honestly i’m 23 so i don’t know anything about anything yet, but i will say that i live with a 15 y/o girl, a 13 y/o girl, and an 11 y/o girl, and i find myself very sad when all they want to do is go on a phone and watch youtube videos and be online instead of doing something more creative or intellectual.

we had a birthday party for 11 last night, and we had to take phones away from like six 10-11 year olds, which is ridiculous. i do understand that we live in a big city (paris, which isn’t exactly the safest) and lots of kids do things independently (walk to school, walk to friends’ houses, take the métro) so sometimes i worry about 11 (who doesn’t have a phone) if she needs to take the métro alone or walk somewhere alone, and i wish she did have some way to reach me if ever she got lost or something, but 11 is so young.

i think in a world that’s become so increasingly digitized and almost making it necessary to be connected in some way, kids are growing up faster, and some of the posts online and on tumblr talk about things they might not understand yet, and cause them to form opinions based on a text post some 18 y/o wrote. i’m even guilty of this. i’ll get too lazy to keep up with the real world and get my politics from tumblr sometimes, and that’s probably not good, even though mainstream news sources can do the same thing. my mom worked for the washington post, and that’s pretty much the only place i get my news from.

i probably got my first tumblr account when i was 15, and honestly i regret it. i was a pretty sheltered kid/teenager who really enjoyed reading, doing art, writing, and watching sad european dramas about dead sovereigns and suffering artists. i somehow discovered pro-ana blogs (blogs that share and encourage eating disorders to the point where healthy people can begin to actively attempt to follow insane tips in order to lose weight), and since i actually had been having trouble with my own eating habits but never really known that those behaviors were bizarre, i self-diagnosed and was part of that “community” for awhile.

i was interested/ in love with lots of actors and actresses, and as i made it out of kind of the pro-ana area which i realized which was unhealthy lol i found out about stan culture and just real obsession with movie stars/celebrities. when i was a younger teen i was “obsessed” with meryl streep, which at that time meant that i watched all her films repeatedly. i didn’t realize people cared about the actors/actresses’ personal lives until i got on tumblr, and at the time it was really exciting to discover things about my favorite celebrities (i mean, being a fan of someone obviously isn’t new, but it was to me). now that i’m 23 i find it very invasive and somewhat creepy that we’re so interested in someone’s life, sometimes even more than their body of work. we’ll probably never meet that person, and if we do they’re not going to think about you or remember you forever, because there are thousands of other people out there who feel the same way, and they just can’t keep track (at least the huge stars).

on the flip side, i think it’s good to have role models and people to look up to, but sometimes there’s a thin line there. i’m blonde, but i dyed my hair brown in my first year of high school because i was obsessed with marion cotillard and wanted to look like her. i kept the brown throughout high school because i liked it, and sort of forgot i ever did it because of her, but now i’m blonde again and it looks so much better haha. ALSO i got really interested in france/speaking french because of her (and juliette binoche), although i had a fantastic and enthusiastic french teacher in high school to help fuel my desire to speak french. and now i’m fluent in french and live in france. wow. so, if there are people you look up to in the public eye and they’re influencing you in positive ways, that’s great! i do get suspicious when very influential celebrities share their political views, though. i think we have a tendency to follow in people’s footsteps either subconsciously or in full awareness. that could be in any field. i like certain authors, and sometimes my own writing is heavily influenced by their work. it’s a natural thing that happens. but voting really should be an informed decision...just my opinion.

let’s talk about “just my opinion”. online bullying is real and can sometimes be rampant if there are dividing views on someone and their perceived private life. for example, in the x-files fandom we will, for the most part, absolutely convince you that mulder and scully are fucking like bunnies, when the show’s own creator won’t lol. but there are also people who think that gillian anderson and david duchovny (the leads) were/are/could be at some point in a romantic relationship with each other. they (anderson and duchovny) even cater to the fans a bit, but at the end of the day that’s their business and they don’t owe us an explanation, and a lot of people in fandom sort of act like they do. the point of this example was that because people in fandom are divided about this point of view, if you talk about one side or the other, there are some people who will come at you and say mean things for not agreeing with you, and try to convince you of a truth they have no real authority to speak about. this is obviously just an example, but online bullying is rampant and is often taken personally and can really affect the person being bullied, especially someone younger who may or may not be already facing that in real life at school lol.

i think tumblr is a good place for people who suffer from mental illness to come together in a healthy way to talk through their problems (god i hope i’m telling the truth), and there’s definitely tons of awareness and support that you’ll get on tumblr that you may not find in the real world. for example, i don’t know anyone irl who has epilepsy who i can talk to about mine. on tumblr i’ve talked with people who understand what i’m going through. i think that self diagnosis online, just as much on tumblr as it is when i cough and search “signs of throat cancer or tuberculosis’, read up on web md, and immediately fear my days might be numbered, is a problem. on tumblr i think we’re introduced to concepts and can sometimes treat mental illness lightly, when it shouldn’t. if you’re suffering from a mental illness, the online world isn’t going to be the place that can completely help you (says the girl who refuses to go to therapy and instead complains online about how she’s not getting any better).

being online immediately takes us out of life and into a different world. we become observers instead of experiencing the world. there’s good stuff about observation, but being online and attached to a website that is more or less just a vice for people will often make us choose to be on our phones instead of doing stuff in real life.

all of these points being said, i’m guilty of a lot of the “bad/unhealthy” facets of tumblr, but as i’ve “grown up” (unfortunately still staying on tumblr for a good portion of that time) i’ve grown out of a lot of these things and can see the good and the bad that the online world has to offer, and know which parts to stay away from. i can recognize that spending too much time on here does nothing for my desire to stay inside and not experience the real world. it also makes me think a lot more about tv shows/films/celebrities than i need to. but i’ve also made great friends from being on tumblr over the years, and gotten support i definitely wouldn’t have gotten in real life.

back to my real life. do i encourage the girls i live with to be interested in certain media? yes, especially stuff i feel has a good message. i basically sat the two older ones down and showed them the pilot of the x-files. do they experience the same high level obsession i do with tv shows/movies? no. and i’m glad for that. they like to lose themselves in certain tv shows, but when the tv is off they don’t really talk about it. do i introduce them to things i’m interested in media-wise? yes. do i introduce them to books and music i was/am interested in? yes. have i told them about tumblr? no. they don’t have any access to my online “presence” (they don’t know my instagram, twitter, etc), and i don’t talk about it. when my computer is out and they’re in the room doing homework, i’m usually writing. granted, that’s usually fanfiction, but at least i’m writing something.

one of the boys i tutor is writing a book (he’s 11) which is basically a self insert that takes place in the harry potter universe. he doesn’t know what fanfiction is, and i haven’t told him (although he’d never type it up and put it online lol he barely knows how to turn the computer on), but i’m so thrilled he’s even writing that i make him sit down and write for 10 minutes before we ever start watching a movie (in english).

ANYWAY. i’m nobody’s mother and at the end of the day i’m posting this online on my stupid blog where nothing i say matters or has any influence anywhere, but i think kids should be able to enjoy a non-internet related childhood as long as possible. some of us on tumblr are old enough to actually have children that age, and as much as we like having an account on this site, if asked this same question we might not as readily say ‘yeah it’s great! i want my teenagers to have the same experience as me!’

there’s my two centimes. hope i answered your question. JuST MY OPINION.

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shinigamikarinkurosaki-archive · 6 years

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Rant or meta? Nobody knows.

I’m having a d/epressive episode & I’ve been trying to hunt down Momo fanfiction just to keep my mind off things but it’s proving hard. The B/LEACH f.and/om really seems to hate women & especially Momo because I’ve only found a handful of fics in comparison to what’s been archived that aren’t disgusting.

It’s not JUST the obvious flaming where Momo has a “stupid zanpakutou” & “””whines””” a lot & wants Toushirou’s dic.k SO BADLY she’ll sabotage his entire life for it (I’m looking at you, H/itsuK/arin shippers). Hell, I’m not even talking about the nonspecific dislike that some of my roleplay partners have voiced in the past . Yes, that’s terrible, but what’s more widespread is this objectification of Momo. Among Momo’s own fandom, she’s not an individual, she’s a doll.

Firstly, why is Momo often portrayed as so submissive? I can get it if she’s shipped with Aizen because EVERY survivor acts differently around their abuser thanks to their conditioning, or even when she’s scared out of her mind, but everyone else? It makes me roll my eyes. Momo called out Byakuya early in the manga for his poor treatment of Renji & again in TYBW after Byakuya basically pureed Gerard’s head. Momo tried to kill Gin after she discovered Aizen’s “corpse.” Momo attacked Toushirou & Izuru. SHE’S A LIEUTENANT. She’s fiery & strong & independent. Just because she’s experienced abuse doesn’t change that she gets upset & even angry. Of course, this is all tossed wayside, mostly for ships.

Momo is treated like a child. I’ve seen this trope several times on both AO3 & FFN & leaves me incredibly perplexed. Momo is depicted as the same age as Izuru & Renji in their academy years. I have yet to see a portrayal where Izuru & Renji are outright “boyish” or childish. Momo, however, is outright called a girl, a child, et cetera. Yes, there are VERY young-looking shinigami. But I don’t know of many (successful) military bodies (which the Gotei is) that don’t employ an aptitude test & training for their personnel. Momo is just as capable & mature as they are. Why is she infantilized when these two are generally regarded as adults even though she’s the same age as they are? Because, according to f.and/om, women can’t be independent or mature.

I see total ignorance of Aizen’s abuse of her, like it never even happened. If it was only occasionally, it would be fine. Sometimes writers just gotta write fluff & I get that. But it’s WIDESPREAD. It’s difficult to find a fic employing Momo’s trauma, despite Aizen-- at the very least-- emotionally abusing Momo. It’s not easy to write these portrayals either because of the emotional toll or just not knowing how these people behave, I know, but it’s plain mischaracterization to be so willfully ignorant because you don’t want to Google how long-term abuse victims & survivors of assaults like Momo has experienced to just get an idea how she may behave. People don’t just “bounce back” from experiences like that. Momo needs time to grieve.

Unfortunately, when Momo’s grief & trauma is utilized, it’s for romantic plot. Look, I ship Momo with a number of characters, even some crackships. Of course her trauma affects her relationships with them. But in a lot of cases, it’s not part of her, it’s the driving force of her romantic partnerships. Like the man can’t find anything lovable about Momo aside from how it would feed his ego to help her get over Aizen. Like Momo is a scared, wide-eyed little foal who needs to be sheltered. Momo’s trauma moulds a lot of her personality & perspective but there is no relationship that has substance if it’s based on “fixing” a victim, & they don’t usually end up working in a healthy manner if at all. I’m not saying this trope is bad. I’m saying it’s explored inaccurately. These are incredibly unhealthy, codependent relationships. It’s okay to write them, especially if it’s part of a character’s characterization. It’s not okay to sugarcoat it for your “feelsies.”

What’s really bad about this trope is that writers act like it works. Momo is inevitably fixed & happy with whoever she’s paired with. No fighting. No rough spots. Somehow, the boy knows how to quell Momo & Momo is inevitably quelled. Any abuse victim knows that’s not how it works. It’s terrifying entering relationships. It can’t be fixed. Yes, partners should be supportive of each other, & that makes it SO MUCH EASIER to start healing, but this is just plainly incorrect. It’s juvenile at best. If you’re going to utilize these plots, grow a set and badship it or just don’t write it.

Honestly, one of the most despicable mischaracterization is Hi/ts/uHi/na. First of all-- I’m pretty sure I have the f.and/om blocked but if you’re reading this & ship Momo with Toushirou, hit the back button. I don’t want anything to do with you, I don’t want to argue with you. You’re wasting your time if you want to #d..isc//ours/e.

But really. It’s disgusting shipping Momo with Toushirou. Who would REALLY date the boy who you’ve lived with your mutual grandmother? No one, I hope, because that’s ince/s/t regardless of the status of your blood relationship & if you think that’s okay I suggest you see a professional because there is something wrong with you.

It’s not just the thinly veiled in/cest that’s bad, Momo is treated pretty horribly by her own fans. Pretty much everything I mentioned is utilized. Her relationship with Toushirou is HEAVILY gendered. Toushirou is inevitably aged up, he the dominant & breadwinner, he is taking care of Momo, Momo is still submissive & shaky doe-eyed little girl who cannot cope without Toushirou & is wholly devoted to Toushirou. No fighting. No fear. No development. No dimensions. Momo was just betrayed by her captain, who she turned against Toushirou for, & she doesn’t experience fears, paranoia, or bitterness. She just… rolls over for Toushirou. I hate cringe culture but it’s physically painful for me to read some of the summaries for these fics. It’s like the entire f.and/om just pirouette out of a 1950s dishwasher commercial.

There is a constant theme throughout this, however, & it’s for heterosexual pairings. Momo is a plaything for men, even for pairings like Kira/Hina which ought to be the most understanding, mutually respectful ship for Momo thanks to their similar experiences. But no. Even then, Izuru’s depression & abuse is thrown by the wayside because Momo’s “broken” & needs to be fixed. Whoever Momo’s partner is would WANT to fix Momo, they would hate seeing her so despondent & scared, but it doesn’t work like that. Yet writers continue to make it work like that. Momo continues to be an innocent, naive trophy for this man. It’s always about men. I am not saying it CAN’T be this way. There are women who revolve around men. It’s very possible Momo could project her loyalty towards Aizen onto another man. But these aren’t cast as unhealthy or codependent, they’re cast as, you guessed it, romantic.

The entire issue just leaves this sour taste in my mouth. I’m not saying it’s wholly f.and/om’s fault. Misogyny wasn’t created on the internet, it’s a product of outside influences. But it’s shameful seeing people who are supposed to be Momo’s fans treat her like this one-dimensional thing with a hole men can stick stuff into. I can sort of understand since it took me YEARS to figure all this out, but I can’t be the only one who has noticed this. It’s incredibly disheartening as a victim of abuse myself to see this. It pisses me off now, but I used to feel so broken. In high school, I honestly thought I met my IRL Izuru Kira, whom in my personal depiction of Momo is one of her most treasured people. He ended up slu/t-shaming me & I was heartbroken because I honestly thought if I had a different lover I could work the effects of my se/xual abuse. Fic writers are not responsible for this, but they obviously aren’t helping. I have found ONE fanfic that acknowledges Aizen as an abuser. It’s explicit & triggering but when I read it I felt so validated like I wasn’t a bad person, like I wasn’t crazy. I’m not saying ALL fanfiction has to be like that, but if I relate to Momo other victims do too, & it’s not for shits & giggles. It’s because Momo was abused. & just as a women it honestly feels like my abuse with ALWAYS be romanticized. I’m not a plaything, neither is Momo, but honestly I only feel worse looking at what f.and/om does to Momo.

#kogi's fandom problems #misogyny //#fandom drama //#ship hate //#abuse apologism //#aihina //

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