#yes I changed the quote a bit so it made more sense

[lizthewriter]

i'm right here / billy loomis

PAIRING  fem!reader x billy loomis

SUMMARY  you and billy had been dating for quite a while now. you had always been so dependent on him, so clingy, so needy, and you were starting to realize that maybe he didn't like you nearly as much as you thought he did. when you stop calling him and ignore him completely, he's not just angry, but he comes to the realization that he doesn't know who he'd be without you. he's lonely and he needs you just as much, if not more, than you need him.

TAGS  fem!reader x billy loomis, angst, fluff, if you squint, sexual tension, smut, only on the clothes stuff, billy wouldn't dare break my underwear rule, teasing, making out,, desperate men >>>, deranged men >>>>>, billy is a lil' toxic, just a lil' bit, cursing, slight stalking (come on, we're talking about ghostface here, get with the program)

QUOTE  "i'm calling you, pick up your phone . . . well i don't give a fuck about your friends, / i'm right here, here / well baby talk a look around, / i'm the only one that hasn't walked out, / i'm right here," - right here by chase atlantic

WORD COUNT  2.1K

WRITTEN  10.25.2023

A/N this is my first smut 😭😭😭😭 also i watched scream for the first time and if billy and stu weren't murderers ... omg 😭😭😭 anyways, i will get up another fic on sunday and one next wednesday ... PLS SEND REQUESTS FOR BILLY AND STU 😭😭😭😭

You once again hung up the phone in a huff - Billy has tried calling you for the fourth time that evening. You would have let the phone ring if the sound of it didn't set you off.

You tossed the clunky phone back onto the other end of the couch and settled onto the cushions with a relieved sigh. Finally, some time for yourself - you had been swamped with so much work recently, it was nice to finally take a moment to relax. You flicked on the television, channel surfing before the phone went off again. You groaned and picked up the phone, pressing the decline button before setting it back down. You let out an incredulous laugh at the irony of the situation. You were ignoring Billy because he barely spent any of his time with you and didn't seem to be putting anywhere near as much effort into your relationship as you were. You were so tired of being taken advantage of and eventually being walked out on by friends and family that you finally, for once, walked out on someone else first. But now, now that you've broken things up with him, he seemed interested in you.

"Asshat," you mumbled under your breath, finally settling on a channel playing some mildly entertaining thriller that was gripping enough to keep you interested, but not so much so that you were discerning and questioning every detail. You laid back down on the couch, head lolling to the side as you space out and got lost in your own thoughts. The one thing that startled you from your own head was the sound of the phone ringing once again.

More than irritated, you grabbed the phone and finally answered, shoving the clunk of plastic next to your ear. "Listen here Billy, I told you once and I don't want to say it again, I'm. Done -"

The voice at the end of the line spoke only your name in greeting, but it soundly oddly gruff and robotic. Not Billy's voice, which made you pause in hesitation. "Yes, that's me . . . what do you want?"

"I always thought The Sixth Sense was a sort of underrated masterpiece."

You launched up from the couch, fear settling into your gut as you glanced out the back patio doors outside. "What kind of prank is this? Stu, are you fucking with me again? Because I swear -"

"It's not Stu, sweetheart. Guess again."

You paused. It was a long shot. But why would he change his voice? You decided to play a little game of your own. "You know what I'm watching, so you must be somewhere outside, in the backyard, right?" You got up from the couch and stared out at the backyard, but no one was there. "Who is this? Randy? Bobby? Which ass decided to piss me off today -"

"I did." The voice, unexpectedly, came from behind you. You jumped at the sound and turned around to face Billy, who was holding up a portable phone. He hung up, tucking away whatever kind of voice modulator he'd been using, and took a step towards you. In return, you took a step back, placing your house phone on a nearby surface.

"What are you doing in my house, Billy? I'm having friends over soon, you can't be here."

"I came over to apologize."

"You?" You asked him incredulously. "Apologize? That's rich. I didn't know the word 'apologize' was even in your vocabulary."

Billy offered you a grimaced smile and took another step forward. "I really mean it this time, all right?"

"Oh sure, yeah, and I'm the Queen of England," you retorted with a roll of your eyes. You glanced at the clock and decided it would be best to prepare snacks now, before your friends got here. You began to walk past him, in the direction of the kitchen. "Go home, Billy, I'm done with you and your indifference."

Before you even took another step away from him, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you into his chest. He stared down at you, hunger, desperation, adoration in his eyes. You couldn't help but soften as you stared up at his face - even if you were doing this for yourself, you couldn't help but miss him. And fuck, was he the most beautiful bastard you've ever seen.

He ran his index finger along your cheek, his head bowed as his eyes trailed all across your face. "I didn't appreciate you like I should have . . . I realize that now. I guess it's true. You don't know how good something is until it leaves." He bowed his head closer and closer to you, and you couldn't help but feel yourself weaken. As though you hsd fallen prey to his seduction spell. You had to admit, it was easier to ignore his calls then to ignore his prescene, that sultry voice and those beckoning lips, the brown strands that you wanted to tug on oh so badly. "Give me one more chance. I'll prove it to you that I can be better . . . " And he said the one word you've never heard leave his mouth ever. His voice came out as soft as a whisper, as hot as the fiery gates of hell on your mouth. "Please. I need you."

Your breathes came out hot and heavy - you wanted him bad, so bad. But you knew you shouldn't. You always followed the same toxic, hurtful patterns. You needed to let go of the people that hurt you, but God you couldn't let him go. You tried to find an excuse.

"Billy, my friends are going to be here in ten minutes." Your voice came out much weaker, less assured then intended.

"I could give a flying fuck about your friends. They don't treat you right, no better than I did. Yet here you sit, cleaning the house, buying food and renting movies, all for people who could care less. If you're going to give someone a second chance, let it be me." He held up your hand, pressing gently kisses along the edge of it. His eyes met yours again, dark and lustful, filled with meaning. You just couldn't help yourself - you knew you'd regret this, but honestly . . . you didn't care anymore.

You finally grabbed the back of his head and pushed him down to meet your lips, hands tangling in those chocolate locks of his. His mouth tasted like pennies and cigarettes, apricot and clove. He was far from being shy, he equally reciprocated your actions if not overcompensated and pressed back into you hungrily. He was slightly rough with you, never enough to hurt you, only rile you up. He pushed you back towards the couch, your knees buckling as they met the cushions, forcing you to sit yourself down on the couch. His eyes roamed your body and he gestured towards your shirt.

You leaned up, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pulling him down to your level. "No. I'm tired of initiating. If you want me, come get me." You released his shirt, sitting back on the couch with crossed arms and watching his next movements.

His eyes widened in slight shock. You had never been one to take the lead and boss him around, but now that you had, he found it incredibly arousing. And he also felt he owed it to you to give you whatever you wanted. After all, he'd been a terrible boyfriend and if he was truly being honest, you deserved better. But that selfish, possessive side to him couldn't let you go, craved you like a starved man.

He pulled off his shirt, revealing the chiseled chest beneath. He wasn't paticularly buff, but he was certainly well built and plenty aesthetically pleasing. He bent down, latching his lips back onto yours. He allowed your hands to roam over his bare torso, smirking slightly at the groan that left your lips. His hands gradually slipped under your shirt, pulling it overhead and revealing the lacy bra beneath. As strong as he was, he was easily able to shift your position so you were laying along the length of the couch. He crawled on top of you, one hand laying atop your breast, the other being used as a crutch to keep him balanced. His lips returned to yours, wet and burning with passion, running along yours smoothly. His other hand slipped down to your waist, tightening around it as his tounge poked through your lips and into your mouth. You couldn't help the soft moan that left your mouth, hips rolling up to meet his. You jolted as you were met with something hardened, a shiver running down your spine.

"Billy . . ." You whined, eyes pleading with him to stop being so painstakingly slow. You wanted him and you wanted him now. "Please. I missed you . . . need you."

"S'okay baby," he responded, lips now meeting the skin of your neck. You missed the feeling of his nose brushing against your skin with every kiss, his roaming hands exploring every inch of your body, those glances from.his darkened eyes that almost unsettled you. "I'll take care of it, I promise."

He rolled his hips up into yours, causing a moan to spill out of your mouth. You had wrapped your arms around his back, hands digging into his shoulder blades. "Missed your pretty little moans, baby." He lifted his head away from your neck, hand running through your hair as he looked down at you. "Promise I'll be better, hm? You'd like that?"

He rolled his hips up again with a smirk and you shut your eyes tight, only able to respond with a high-pitched "mhm!"

"You're - such a tease," you gasped, opening your eyes again, a faint blush spreading over your cheeks.

"I thought you liked when I teased you, pretty girl." You hated the smug smirk painted across his cheeks, but the thing you hated the most was that he was right. You loved the teasing, the degradation, the humiliation, the praise. He knew just how to get you hot and bothered, so much so that you couldn't help but snap at him. You know he did those kinds of things on purpose just you'd give him an attitude and he'd get to punish you. But if you were being honest . . . it turned you on.

"Just - please."

"Please what?" He asked with innocent eyes, rolling his hips up harder but keeping the bulge in his jeans pressed against you this time.

You groaned loudly, clawing at his back. "Not - not fair."

"What's not fair? This?" He rolled his hips upwards against, drawing another moan from your lips.

"N-no, stop -"

He let out a mock sigh of disappointment and began to draw away. "All right, I'll stop, if that's what you really want."

"No!" You exclaimed loudly, grabbing his hand and pulling him back towards you. "Don't leave . . . please."

You wanted to smack that stupid little grin off of his face, but then he dropped his knee between your thighs and the words you had wanted to speak suddenly left your lips. He glanced down at your pajama pants, toying with the waistband teasingly.

"Say the words then."

"What?" You responded with furrowed brows.

"Say, 'Billy, I want you to fuck me.'" His eyes bore into yours - the sweet chocolate now turned to charcoal black. He loved the effect he had on you, he loved messing around with you. Especially when you got all flustered and embaressed like this. "Come on, say it. I know you can, sweetheart."

You paused. "Billy, I -"

The doorbell rang, followed by the sounds of giggles. Your friends all shouted your name and dissolved into another bought of laughter. You glanced back towards Billy, torn about what to do.

He pulled away with a gentle sigh, planting a final kiss to your forehead. "We'll pick this up another time, yeah?" Desperate sex with Billy was always good, at least, you thought.

You held onto his hand for a few more seconss before it slipped away as he walked backwards towards the stairs. He must have crawled inside your bedroom window like he usually does. "Okay. I'll call you in the morning?"

He grinned. "Sounds good, sweetheart. I'll pick you up, too."

The doorbell rang thrice more, your friends yeling at you to come answer the door. Billy grinned and departed up the stairs, but not before grabbing his shirt on the way out. You picked up your own shirt from where it had been discarded on the floor and pulled it on as you approached the front door.

Your friends greeted you enthusiastically as they entered your house and while they were all excitedly chattering about the movies you selected, you could only think of Billy, stupid, seductive Billy.

#— [ glizzy posts ☆ ] #billy loomis x reader #billy loomis smut #scream #scream 1996 #billy loomis #my writing #fanfiction #my fanfiction #my fic #writing #fanfic #billy loomis x you #ghostface x reader #ghostface x you #ghostface

[miss-menhera]

HELLO THERE!!! Trying to cope with OR UNDERSTAND Adam's death? The denial and "what ifs" just get stronger?!?!?!?

Me too tbh I'm fucking miserable

BUT!!!! YOU WILL FIND OUT THAT THIS SHITHEAD COMING BACK IS ACTUALLY MORE PLAUSIBLE THAN YOU THINK! (W.O.W!!!!)

I actually also have some pretty solid theories about season 2 in here so be warned.

(This is a bit different from my usual goofy post I might delete this and separate into parts since I talked about too much)

VIVZIEPOP MADE A COUPLE STATEMENTS THAT COULD BE GAME-CHANGING AND WON'T LEAVE US GRASPING AT STRAWS ANYMORE. I'LL DISCUSS EVERY GROUND THERE IS TO COVER AND EVERY COPIUM THERE IS TO INHALE, AT THE MOMENT!! (Might update this or make a new post if more comes out)

Ok so to start this off, don't be put off by this person's perspective, just listen to me. Vivzie talked to this fan at megacon and got asked if Adam was still alive, all she said was "he lives on in a way", I'm gonna take my delulu aside and the most pessimistic guess would be that someone (pfff lute obviously)avenges him or that his death has an everlasting impact that changes the story, BUT we already got that made clear, like that was pretty obvious already.

(It's made obvious by this scene, Adam's death created a whole other big problem)

(Unless what she means by it is that his death is honored? Like maybe we get to delve deeper into his history, but again i dont think so) SO I DONT THINK THATS IT, I feel like if it was either of the ones I mentioned she would just say "Nope, he's deceased BUT he lives on in a way" But ALL she said was "He lives on in a way" which is very different, although it could be she expressed herself badly or the person writing the tweet didn't quote it word for word. But taking it in the literal sense, this might be pretty much confirmation he lives. There's a way he lives right? So considering that.... could it be that after Lute took his halo,(which was also broken which often renders an angel as "fallen" by default) and left his body there, he just... like woke up as a sinner? Yes yes, I know everyone's been talking only about that, I'm not giving any groundbreaking revelations but I'm just saying that there's alot of options that open up to that possibility. Or who knows! What if he actually doesn't get reincarnated? What if he just wakes up with no halo, so no place to come back to or what if the ever-absent God takes notice of his death and fixes up his first loyal creation?

Besides that if they THINK Adam is dead, (hesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdead)

They make these huge ass changes in tactics, and need to find another way to deal with what Charlie is doing; IF Adam actually becomes a sinner, and his life is super important to heaven... with evidence that sinners can now be redeemed... What if people like LUTE, or LILITH actually become allies of the hotel in an effort to redeem him? He WAS God's first, most loyal and favorite creation, HELL THE REASON HE WAS ALLOWED TO DO WHATEVER HE WANTED AND WAS BASICALLY IMMUNE TO THE LAW IN HEAVEN IS BECAUSE OF HOW MANY PRIVILEGES HE HAS, I don't think God would be too pleased with his soul dissipating or whatever the fuck. That might actually be a plot point, he's way too important to just be killed off like this, am I the only one who got that impression? He's the FIRST MAN, first man, the first man being THE FIRST TO DIE IN THIS SHOW IS ABSOLUTELY MIND-FUCKING AND ALSO A CRUEL JOKE anditskindafunny OF FATE FOR HIM.

Something else I want to add is that my personal take on it is that if I learned anything about this show, Lilith will show up in the next season and pretend to be an ally to the hotel, she will pretend to support Charlie and basing this off the theory that Alastor made a deal with Lilith to keep her daughter safe, he failed to meet the end of his deal. So now she's coming to take matters into her own hands after all these pesky men failed, (ermmm girlboss!!) Stop, and manipulate everyone in the hotel into giving up on the idea. Considering how she deliberately kept Charlie away from her dad her whole life, there's gonna be a whole lot of family drama. And we might see Alastor lose his shit for good. Still tryna figure out wtf does "Lilith thrived and empowered demonkind with her voice" if her voice is that powerful, and her words are just as powerful, we're gonna get 1. FIRE ASS SONGS 2. Mother Gothel ass song with Charlie, I just know it holy shit. Not to mention that they actually don't know that Sir Pentious went to heaven, Lilith definetely will know and won't tell anyone. Lucifer will definetely be the one to step up in the situation yet again. Anyway after I yapped my heart out about what I think will happen in this show, I just wanna say one thing.

There is this DUMBASS thing everyone in the fandom is talking about when someone says Adam is gonna be reborn as a sinner. "He is not gonna come back because he was killed with an angelic blade and Pentious was not" That is the most stupid bullshit I've ever read and if you genuinely believe it for a second, i feel sorry for u cuz how did your brain go and make this correlation?

Most of these people say that the show explicitly stated that Angelic metal SPECIFICALLY and just if it's metal, it can castrate a soul or whatever. Which is literally NOT true, at no point was it established that Angelic steel was the only thing able to exorcise demons. You really need just a bit of common sense to come to this conclusion, what makes the weapons dangerous for demons and angels isn't that they're steel specifically. It's that they're ANGELIC guys.. Have y'all seen Helluva boss at all?

There are blessed ropes, Angelic guns, Angelic bullets. These are just items that replicate the power of Holy magic. A PURE,HUGE, HOLY BEAM of unfiltered angelic power is not stronger than a little dagger infused with a fraction of it? Not only does that not make sense from the show's lore perspective, but using common SENSE that sounds even dumber. This is the only argument I can completely scratch off the lists of why Adam can't come back, and it's the most popular one...

Man you know what guys, after he died, whether he comes back or not, he's never gonna be the same again I just can't picture it. He's gonna be much more insecure, without a mask and not funny and goofy............. Or he is just gonna come back and go full joker. He just cant possibly keep being a light-hearted dark humor andrew tate stan after the most, first immature man in history pulled a gentle smile like that. That just can't be, like take a look at the way he always smiles to the last smile we saw him have.

THAT IS A CHANGED MAN YALL, THATS ANOTHER ENTITY 😭

I HIGHKEY DONT WANT HIM TO GET A REDEMPTION ARC EITHER :(( MAN WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DETHRONE THE LITTLE GUY, THEY RUINED EVERYTHING. One small little theory floating in my mind was that, what if the news of Adam being dead could result in some powerful overlord or even A SIN we've never seen or know the power of, revive him and have him work under them? Even if he actually comes back as a sinner, this little theory I haven't brainstormed much about could be explored.

But y'all know what? Let's say he's dead okay? Let's say he's dead dead, then what did they do with his BODY? I didn't see anyone dig him a grave, yet he died on the hotel, I didn't see anyone even move his body after the angels left. And we know damn well they didn't take him, that's too much of a big detail to leave it out unless they REALLY screwed up with the writing and animation direction in the rush to have the serie come out, but the animation has always been so detailed with almost unnecessary background details. I think they left it out intentionally to have that worked out in season 2, heard some people say it could be they just built the hotel over his body? But I doubt it. If so maybe he could become part of the hotel or just condemned to never leave the hotel in a.... a... ghooooost.... like form...?(Massive amounts of copium). Someone could argue his body just dissolved or something but 1. That makes no sense pookie 2. In the first episode they found the body of the dead exorcist long after it died, and we definetely know atleast it's head was still perfectly intact by episode 3. AND i also went back to check, after Lute takes the Halo they purposefully never show Adam's body, ONCE. Not once, not even as they show all the corpses on the ground as the exorcists depart. So that couldn't be it, one thing we know for sure is that Vivzie is definetely letting on there's something more to his death she doesn't want to reveal yet. It could be she's doing that just to leave it ambiguous to delusional theorists like myself,,,,,since my type of stupid is usually the kind of idiocy infectious enough to rot everyone's brain into pointless speculation based on minor details. Which definetely sells the show better AND keeps discourse and attention alive till more is fed to us, which in that case, very effective marketing strategy at the cost of everyone's mental health Viv! Good job, the prospect you might be giving us false hope cuz its good for business is really making me reconsider signing the christian mom petition to make Amazon prime cancel tis' demonic blasphemous show. (And yes that is a serious threat, I will even fund the petition with 100 euros watch what you write, i don't want any mammon ass marketing tactics pls)...... or... she just doesn't wanna spoil the surprise and im reading too much into it... BUT YOU NEVER KNOW OK?? I NEED TO EXPLORE EVERY SINGLE POSSIBILITY AND NOT LEAVE ONE UNCOVERED. I seriously think I've thought of almost anything-Except that he's just dead, we'll see his funeral in the next season and he actually makes no other appearance......... BUT THAT'S BORING AND I WILL DROP THE SHOW IF THAT HAPPENS! By the way kinda can't wait for Adam merch to drop, cus it means SHE STILL FINDS HIM RELEVANT ENOUGH TO MARKET HIM!!!......and i just really want to have physical objects of him...... But u know what guys Vivzie likes adam alot, he's one of the characters she retweets stuff about the most, along with Lucifer and Alastor. And she also kinda admitted to it.

NOT TO MENTION THERE IS MORE THAT PROVES ITS NOT OUT OF THE WINDOW FOR HIM TO MAKE A COMEBACK CUZ ALEX BRIGHTMAN(Adam's va) ANNOUNCED HE WILL BE IN SEASON 2. and I know he voices Sir Pentious too,(insane range btw wtf) but like i said if they're keeping it a surprise (Thats been pretty much confirmed, Vivz refuses to give too many details so she obviously wants to keep us guessing, which would be cruel if it was for nothing, and i think she knows would leave fans very disappointed) the possibility of Adam still being present in the show could work out.

VIVZ UNLESS YOU'RE A SADISTIC EVIL WOMAN YOU WOULD NEVER HOPE PEOPLE LIKED HIM IF YOU DIDNT HAVE BIG THINGS PLANNED FOR HIM, RIGHT? RIGHT? VIVZIIEIEIEIEIEI3IE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 GIVE US BACK OUR FRATBOY BEETLEJUICE UNSCATHED PLS NO MORE PAIN!!!

Also guys look adam actually changed out of that smelly ass robe and dolled himself up for the early extermination!!!!

#adam hazbin hotel #hazbin adam #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel adam x reader #adam x reader #dickmaster #my little mysoginist </3 #vivienne. #hazbin adam x reader #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin theory #hazbin thoughts #hazbin hotel theory #hazbin hotel god #hazbin hotel lilith #hazbin god dont be a bitch #save your loyal holy child this instant

[athena-swords]

🎊 Gifts for our NEW YEAR 🎊

PAC

Disclaimer: people I am doing this in all seriousness and all and no it's not for entertainment purposes but ya collective readings so take what resonates

Pile 1. Pile2.

Pile 3. Pile4.

Pile 1❄️❄️🤍

We keep this love in photographs, so if you wanna buy cameras or just capture moments please go ahead and buy it it will give you lots of joy pile 1 new year could be looking as just any new year coming but you know that things are gonna change and maybe the people you are close with now will have to move and you too to other places so cherish this moments.Are you all joining colleges??or like your graduation is being done anyway congrats wishing you absolutely the best .

Maybe you will take the road less taken which will have its own uncertainty but for sure it's gonna be so worth it ,okay first of all whatever type of exams or test you are planning for they gonna give you your desired or expected results and you could be seeing true faces of your close mates and if you feel that you get easily evil eye or affected by others energies don't worry your guides are there to protect you ,this year you could have on issue in financial matter you are being in open to receive energy I see a energetic shit around you and you actually coming into limelight (attention song being played)you definitely should check your solar return chart could bein fire asc sign ok

And I am seeing or more of sensing lot's of puppy love energy so ya talking stages could happen and you ending up liking someone all over just enjoy your "up in the poppy hills" movie vibe so here comes the end of a eventful year wishing you all the best guys take care 💓

Oracle cards: Give it sometime approx 3 to 4 months,the more you live the less you worry,luck is in your favour,My gurl is the prettiest,Be careful with the people you choose

Please comment on your 2024 wishes and reblog means alot

Pile 2❤️‍🩹🥀

Some of you could be getting married or just getting your"THE ONE" for you if you wanted to meet your soul tribe and have been manifesting some wholesome human bond well I am pleased to tell you , you're making some lifetime connections this year , lots of self care products buying specifically perfumes and scented products if 2023 has been the pain the upcoming one will heal all those wounds and the word hork you thought no one saw wanna check some parts of pile 1?? I would recommend there could be a message for you there

Look you need to stop procrastinating!!!like if we wand our desires to turn into reality we need to put some action okkk and studyyyyy like when you study just put your focus on it if need then gurl you have to read it again n ugh that's more tiring.being more organised and balance is always a gift for you this year and a quote for you is "sometimes rejection is protection in disguise"so just jio lol even if it's your lala world I just said a paradox bit don't come to me fantasy and reality just need a little balance and we are good with it.

If you love gloomy weather then congrats you could experience it alot this year.I think you tend to underestimate your intuition and when it turns out right you regret so this year all about working on this and believing ourselves more then others 💗💗

Oracle cards: make a priority list,oh lala it's a love story, it's a yes, please zindagi jiyo baba...,study remember it's "you reap what you sow".

Please comment on your 2024 wishes and reblog means alot

Pile 3📸🦋

My Roman Empire is..... Idk lol.So travels travels and lots of travels in the list 😸 are you planning to fulfill your bucket list or something kya pile 3 anyway you could start talking again with a dear one with whom you could have stopped interacting or cut ties.Having a reunion of some kind being on backpack this could be the highlight of your year sudden plans being made you shifting family dynamics being changed

You again starting to learn alottt like an instrument, occult knowledge,your ancestors, about the world human body and many moreee.Having watermelon with closed ones on a beach or family farm haa such a vibe and keeping your room clean so it does not look like a messy place

Honestly I don't want to touch this past but somewhere along the line if you started feeling that it's hard uk to be happy like genuinely feel so content of life and kinda just at the starting stage of depression well this year is gonna prove your fact so wrong love muah muah have my love ok💓💓

On a side note your Cooking is good please try more

Oracle cards: Are you pretending love,the fingers create magic , living life king size , friends are the bigger enemy.

Please comment on your 2024 wishes and reblog means alot

Pile 4🪴🦓

Headache ahh you could be having them a bit this year ya but but it's because of all the packed schedule you need to get done with which you will be doing for not overthinking about "this" situation of yours someone from past could come back now it's upto you what you will do with them (it seems romantic connection btw).

Do you put this "I don't care" attitude I see you gotta change this one as there will be things you have to be responsible for alot this year.Emotionally you could be working on yourself listening to podcasts and actually making opinions of yours not just blindly following whatever is being said .you confused about something?? honestly sameee sorry for this just that your biggest gift could be knowing yourself more and handling just how you show yourself to the world

Oracle cards: posh lifestyle,lose yourself a little bit, it's not worth it,it worth trying,you know the answer

Please comment on your 2024 wishes and reblog means alot

Wishing you all a very happy New year 🧿🧿🤍

Pls message me my ishman fam i need someone to talk about them 🤌🤌

#moon child #witch community #astrology #baby witch #tarot reading #spiritualguidance #athena swords #pick a pile #pac #pac list #tarot deck #tarot cards #tarot readings #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #pile 3 #pile 2 #tbr pile #piles #choose one #pick and choose #athena #ishman #ict #ishan kishan #shubmangill

[batrachised]

Buckle up, kids, and settle in, for I'm about to share the tale of what went down in the batrachised household last night. There were battles...bonding...bloodshed (well, not really)...batrachised has been forever changed. Exaggeration? Yes, but let me have this.

My roommates and I live quite contentedly in a Patty's Place-esque arrangement: young women, striking out on their own, cozied up in a little residence we all love quite a bit. It's a darling place, full of nooks, crannies, bookshelves! (of very high importance). It has green spaces; airy rooms; bright kitchens; crocheted frogs; what more could we ask for?

Despite our idyllic situation, there has been one slight mar, only one, on our little hobbithole ideal. Wasps. During the summer, we had to battle wasp nests outside with frequency. To give you a sense of how bad it got, the brave savior deserving of a martyr's crown who normally helped us remove them (roommate's dad) took a look at one giant nest and shook his head with a whistle. We had to hire professional help to get them removed - which, not too bad, just pest control in the end. But still, the wasps were fruitful and multiplying in a biblical fashion.

Enter fall. Enter cold. Most importantly, enter death. Death for wasps, as bugs, to quote calvin and hobbes, died by the bucketful. We were free - or so we thought. Oh, how naive those who have never walked paths of treachery and pain are.

One fine fall day, we found a wasp in the living. Horrible, but manageable. It was dying. I finished the job with glasses, a mask, a jacket, shoes, a broom, and significantly, lots of poison, looking like Don Quixote of the broom closet. Finished. Done deal. I patted myself on the back for being a brave household savior. Really, this was the proof that I was a strong independent woman. Good on you, batrachised, I thought.

Then, a second wasp appeared.

Horrible, and less manageable. One wasp is an accident - a door left open too long, a window with a ripped screen. Two wasps is a pattern. Two wasps means more wasps.

However, this wasp was very dead from the get go. I pondered. What to do? Then as so many other fools have done throughout history, I chose to blind myself to the truth. Two wasps - what a freak incident! A pattern, to be sure. But how could there be more? We never saw any buzzing around. Odd. Horrible, But still manageable.

I'm sure you can guess what happened next. Another one appeared, this one alive and angry. Clifford roommate got home at 1AM and had to fend off an angry wasp with a broom and poison, until it disappeared and she decided to throw up her hands and go to bed as was necessary, right, and just. We could no longer ignore the reality in front of us. I called pest control.

The pest control man arrived. He was a cheerful, gregarious man who smelt strongly of cigarette smoke. I decided he was a man to be trusted, most especially when he chipperly let us know that no, we shouldn't pay pest control at all! What a waste of money! The wasps, you see, are in the chimneys. He could remove them for several hundred dollars and the inability to access our house for several hours, or...we could just start a fire. It would get hot in the chimney, they'd get uncomfortable, and they'd leave. Smoke theory and all that.

Great. Fantastic, even. We save several hundred dollars, and get to have a cozy fire! Win win. Maybe we could even make hot chocolate and put on Christmas music! Perfect for the Christmas season. We decided tonight was the night. A half hour of our time, then done.

We received two warnings though.

First, the gregarious pest control man had let us know to be careful when opening the flue, as wasps can fall. "Just jerk your hand out quickly," was what he sagely said in so many words. I repeat, we decided this made sense. After all, we could close the metal curtains. That would keep those ol' darn wasps away. Still, we approached the flue carefully.

Second, my little sister. She listened to our plan skeptically. She gravely said (paraphrasing), somber as a small child, "But these are southern wasps." I laughed. Why shouldn't I? We had heard from our dear friendly expert. She finished with a (paraphased again) line of "What if the wasps go down instead of up?"

Well, there's a fire, little sister! Surely they wouldn't!

Flashforward to us in front of the fireplace. My roommate reaches and opens the flue. There's a thud. The sound of something falling. But nothing swarms out. We release a breath.

Neither of us have lit a gas fire before, so we don't know how and have to look it up--and then, in the meantime, my roommate notices:

A wasp.

In the (unlit) fireplace. Nestled in the fake logs. Looking cozy as a demon thorn with wings can.

We decide worriedly to tape the metal curtains shut. They would protect us, remember? These curtains of chain metal (you might be familiar with chain metal as the one full of holes). Tape them shut. I run to get tape. My roommate watches the wasp. The curtains are taped shut. Ah, another sigh of relief. We continue our research into gas fireplaces.

When we look back, the wasp is on the outside of the curtains.

Reader, here I will be honest: if you're expecting a giant nest to fall down, and us to have to run for our lives, this does not happen. Or at least, it has not happened yet. But in that moment, that trembling, unsteady moment, we knew that anything was possible. We didn't know that a giant nest wouldn't fall. But we did know that we had committed. We had opened the flue. We had woken the beast.

Fear strings through the air tensely, but we continue. Roommate bravely lights the fire. Half an hour. Half an hour, then we're safe.

My memory of the next few minutes is shaky, but I remember one clear, bright detail gleaming out among the rest:

We saw more wasps.

One flew through the air. Slow, lazy. Unhurried. But assuredly directly headed for us.

Both of us scurried out of the room like we'd seen the girl from the ring.

Reader, the wasps had come down instead of up.

Three wasps, to be specific. Even as I sitting here writing this, it's possible we missed more. There was a fire roaring that would hopefully prevent more. But that did little to assuage our fears. I now understand what it's like to live in a horror movie. Around every corner, danger lurks. Danger lurks behind the curtains. Danger lurks in the lights. Danger lurks in the blankets. Nowhere is safe. Anything can happen at anytime. There are creatures in your house, waiting to attack for no reason. It's not your house at all, in fact: it's theirs. The house is on their side. It hides them, cloaks them, shelters them, and in doing so, destroys you (well my mental stability anyway).

Half an hour, and then we're safe. The problem was, that whole half an hour factoid didn't seem to ring quite true anymore. What I was realizing with a cold, gripping understanding, was that there might not have just been one wasp nest in that chimney - there might have been many. If not a downright giant hive. And we had lit a fire, right under their home.

It was time to discuss backup plans. We came up with an escape route on the off chance it was a big swarm. We grimly got out the wasp spray. And most horribly of all, we waited. Waited sturdily. Waited fearfully. My roommate made soup, then froze. "Did you hear that buzzing?" No, I hadn't. Did she hear a distant buzzing in the chimney?? No, she hadn't.

We scoped out the enemy's territory. There was a scout on the ceiling, still except for the occasional shift. Another lazily flew through the room. We had been invaded.

All throughout, that waiting for the worst, something was edging through the back of my mind, snaking through

We were going to have to turn the fireplace off and close the flue. Or, in other words (1) enter the wasp territory (2) turn off the wasp deterrent, and (3) stick our hand up the wasp-infested chimney. It was very much the moment in the horror movie when they realize the only way out is through. We had our velociraptor in the kitchen, except it was a ton of wasps in the chimney. What's more, we had our chosen weapon of poison, but our chosen weapon couldn't be used because the wasps were coming from the lit fireplace, unless we wanted to start a chemical fire.

Half an hour passes. We decide to wait longer. Better to be safe than sorry.

Finally, after an hour, we glance at each other. We have a somber discussion, akin to tributes from the same district about to enter the hunger games arena. How long to run the fireplace? Would more time matter at this point? Who would close the flue?

I decide if I go down, I'm not going down without a fight. Much like a few weeks earlier, I grab a jacket. I make sure I have my glasses on. I grab a mask to cover my face. I have shoes on my feet. I get an extra shoe to put on my hand. I have a potholder on the other hand to close the flue. Don Quixote (Don Avispa?) has returned.

We march into the enemy territory. The enemy watches from above. Bravely, we steadfastly ignore it. I ask my roommate to watch my back and cover me as I turn towards the side of the room. First step: close the windows. Visions of thousands of wasps hiding behind the curtains dance through my head (at this point you should have realized i have no common sense about wasps and would die immediately in a zombie apocalypse). I ripple the curtain gently. Nothing. One window down. Next window: again, nothing. Another window down.

Now, time for the fireplace.

Wizard Hat roommate insists on sacrificing herself to the flue. She's done before; she has the muscle memory. Both of us are concerned that closing the flue will jostle the wasps and cause more to fall down - wasps that if still living, have to be very angry. I hand her the potholder.

The flue closes without incident.

We wait, holding our breath.

No more wasps.

With not a little relief, although still edgy, we make our way to the other room. We still have wasps in the house, but for now, the risk of having a torrent of wasps come down the chimney seems to have abated. I will never forget, though, that time period of waiting.

We decide to stay up a little longer. Just in case. The fireplace is cooling down now, so in a way there's more risk of wasps.

We go to the other room and sit, making conversation quietly. It's not unlike the ending scene in Jurassic park where they're in the helicopter, bruised, worn, but still alive.

It's then I look up. And heading straight for me, straight and low, is a wasp.

We leap up. I hear its buzzing in the room, and I grab the poison. Enough is enough. This wasp is dying tonight.

It feebly lands on the fireplace, and we see that it seems to already be dying. The Lord is merciful when he wants to be. Unfortunately, its proximity to the fireplace means that I can't spray it safely. We talk, waiting for it to move, but then we lose sight of it. My roommate briskly goes to cover her chicken soup. "I don't want a wasp to fall in it." Wise words, and wiser priorities.

It's when she finishes that she notices it on the floor, still somewhat feebly dying.

I have to admit, I'm not the coolest head under pressure. We could have just waited it out. But I had had enough. Wasps? Wasps in my house?? Wasps that had tried to divebomb me??

I went a little berserk, even trigger happy, and sprayed the ever living bejeesus out of that wasp. The spray said it killed on contact, which did not turn out to be true because that wasp was KICKIN'. On the floor, but still kickin'. I sprayed it again. And again. And again.

Finally, it stilled. RIP, wasp. (Rest in Poison).

However, we then faced the fact that I had created a giant puddle of poison smack in the middle of the floor that we now had to clean up. We got out rubber gloves (I noted them for future use of fighting wasps, more armor), and paper toweled away. Once done, we had to face the issue of where to soak the poison-coated gloves, and decided in a plastic tub on the counter.

And so this tale comes to end (for now). We decided wearily to go to bed. We were done with the day. More wasps may come, but we'd shut the door.

The final cherry on top of the sundae though, was the fact that Clifford Roommate was not home during all of this. This means that she got a series of increasingly frantic texts that looked something like this (I invite you to consider the fact that these wouldn't be out of place in a doctor who episode):

We lit the fire and wasps came out be careful!!

keep the doors shut! we have to keep the wasps out!!

don't turn off the light in the living room...the light distracts them

we've closed the flues. the fire is off.

there's one in the room with us now

we're trying to kill it!!

DO NOT touch the gloves in the kitchen, they're covered in poison

Drums, drums in the deep.

All this to say, if ever you decide to light a fire to chase away wasps, be prepared. They might just come down instead of up.

#i now know what it is to live in jurassic park and i now know i would die immediately #poor wizard roommate had to be the lead #long post #anyway here's hoping more wasps don't come out :)

[ingravinoveritas]

cloud-based-and-rainpilled replied to your post: 

Someone mentioned in a comment that Michael got ‘downgraded’ to boyfriend, so my tinfoil (again, could be wrong/insane) is that AL & GT referring to each other as wifey is to downplay the previous MS ‘wife’ jokes, since people keep commenting about a poly thing going on, moreso than the past. Also since MS is in London rn, he’s with DT more, so I think there’s a bit of insecurity going on. a lot of (doomed) poly couples have an ‘out of sight, out of mind’ rule, or think the swinging being gay 'doesn't count/isn't a threat,' which could be why the posts feel forced. (parasocial, creepy, bad person, etc., whatever, I calls it as I sees it and have seen it before 🤷‍♀️ )

lepqueen replied to your post: 

My biggest question on this was actually about the song choice, given that I am reasonably sure Sting said at some point Every Breath You Take is a stalker song.

@cloud-based-and-rainpilled I had a similar thought about the insecurity. I think Georgia and AL trying so hard to give the appearance of everything being "fine" and everyone getting along only makes it feel more like things in reality are not exactly what's being presented on social media. I personally did not see "boyfriend" as a downgrade (because from my perspective, "other wife" reads as more jokey/unserious, but boyfriend is...softer, somehow), but I can see why some folks could interpret it as a downgrade when it's actually a readjusting of whatever the dynamic is between all of them.

Going back to the insecurity, I had also wondered how things would play out while Michael was in London for such a long time during the run of Nye, and it makes all the sense in the world that things would change with Michael and David being able to see each other in person frequently. And you make a salient point about the gay swinging being seen as less threatening (which I think is why it's been easy for Georgia and AL to start up with that, and why we have never seen even one reference to David/Anna or Michael/Georgia and swinging). It could be that shipping Michael and David was also seen as less threatening and easier to play along with a few years ago, when it was all still new and Michael and David hadn't gotten as close as they have now. So yes, I do think something has changed, and though we may never be privy to what specifically, we can still see its aftereffects and reverberations in a variety of ways.

(I also wish the antis/people making vitriolic posts in the tags would understand your final point, which is that some of us have seen these things before and are speaking from a place of experience--unlike their assertions (and I have actually seen someone say this) that we have never had any close friendships or relationships like these, and therefore know nothing.)

To your comment, @lepqueen, I also found myself raising an eyebrow at the song choice. You are correct that Sting has described the song as being creepy, and I found one quote from him in particular attesting to this:

I'm not really sure how this fits into the context of AL's post, though, or what made her choose it. Is the David pillow watching her every move? Is she watching the pillow? I have no idea. But that was certainly a choice, so there you go...

#cloud-based-and-rainpilled #lepqueen #reply post #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #i'm sorry but if this was a man and a woman there is no earthly way their relationship would be described as 'platonic' #truth disguised as a joke #there are different kinds of love in different poly relationships #but i can see where things could go south very quickly #choices #not all of them good #but i will leave it to my followers to make up their own minds #thoughts #discourse

[study-with-aura]

Tuesday, April 9, 2024

Today went very well. I am glad that I was able to catch up on my posts during my break earlier. I am now eating my evening snack, and then I will get ready for bed before spending a bit of time with my parents until it is time for sleep.

I am not quite sure if I am a fan of statistics quite yet seeing as conditional probability took me a little longer to understand, but I do think I finally figured it out so it made sense in my brain. On the other hand, the book that I am almost done with is so good. They mentioned the father of taxonomy, who I only recently studied in Biology. Yes, I forgot his name, but it isn't important as he did a terrible thing by assigning value to a person based on their race and said that there were four races, and technically even five, and then he assigned them an order and why they were in that particular order. Apparently, that was one of the ideas behind race realism which is pseudoscience at best in which geneticists even say there is no actual scientific backing for despite how it is often displayed. Although, I am finding this out from this book, with what I know in general, I trust it. Sometimes non-fiction can be difficult to read, but when it's written like this, and because I like history, I don't want to put the book down. It's strange that I somewhat remember hearing about some of the events mentioned in the book, but I can't recall it perfectly. I was only 7 then!

Tasks Completed:

Geometry - Learned about conditional probability + practice + learned to check for independence with conditional probabilities + practice + honors work

Lit and Comp II - Reviewed Unit 23 vocabulary + read chapters 54-55 of Emma by Jane Austen and finished the novel + took quiz on Emma (12/10)

Spanish 2 - Copied and studied clothing vocabulary

Bible I - Read 1 Samuel 13-14:1-15

World History - Learned about Anne Frank + read some of Anne Frank's writings + learned about Nazi ideology

Biology with Lab - Completed virtual mystery "lab" story (14/15)

Foundations - Read more on thoroughness + took next quiz on Read Theory + read steps of Monroe's "Motivated Sequence" + read about the psychology of persuasion

Piano - 60-minute piano lesson + practiced for one hour

Khan Academy - Built into coursework

CLEP - None today

Streaming - Watched Greatest Events of World War II in Color episode 3

Duolingo - Studied for 15 minutes (Spanish, French, Chinese) + completed daily quests

Reading - Read pages 323-376 of Accountable: The True Story of a Racist Social Media Account and the Teenagers Whose Lives It Changed by Dashka Slater

Chores - Laundry

Activities of the Day:

Personal Bible Study (2 Corinthians 6)

Ballet

Pointe

Journal/Mindfulness

-

What I’m Grateful for Today:

I am grateful that my piano teacher was very proud of me today for having three of my pieces fully memorized and almost a fourth!

Quote of the Day:

Without music, life would be a blank to me.

-Emma, Jane Austen

🎧10 Pieces from Romeo and Juliet, Op. 75 - Sergei Prokofiev

#study blog #study inspiration #study motivation #studyblr #studyblr community #study community #study-with-aura

[pinkpastels113]

my opinion on natla (for those of you who care lol)

spoilers ahead.

dislikes:

where is katara's fire??? they took it mostly away except for the (obligated imo) fight with pakku. like i understand that yall changed the story of her losing her mother so that she's more timid and insecure now but that was one of her main core traits. she has a passion and is reckless and sassy, and is a leader who inspires words of motivation to other benders. she is not afraid to sacrifice her life for the care and safety of others. this remake just... does not show that

pakku is no longer katara's grandmother's ex/grandfather, and did not show any plans to go to the southern tribe to help them rebuild, which i genuinely liked from the animation bc it showed that the water tribes are reuniting instead of still being separated btw the north and south (it might come later but there was no indication that it was in the works). he also does not teach katara waterbending. he just validated that she was a good waterbender and sent some kids her way to lead during the fire nation attack

aang does not have a crush on katara. it was one of the main factors that drove his character into a more goofy, relatable, and just overall likeable kid; because he is just that, a 12 year old kid. in the adaptation he is too serious, and the mutual admiration that he and katara were supposed to have of one another is more one-sided. in natla they made it seem as if... aang is a much older person trapped in a 12 year old's body dropping odd wizened quotes from Gyatso left and right about how to be the avatar and to look to the future and stuff like that, but not actually taking them into account and growing?? if that makes sense. like the show kind of took away his gradual acceptance of being the avatar and having the responsibility, through his simple coming of age moments like having a major crush on katara

the first season is completely centered around aang's guilt. he does not learn any waterbending or attempt at firebending (and being scared of it). i assume katara is going to teach him in season 2 but they could have squeezed some kind of training in between the eight episodes?

mai and ty lee are just standing there. like i'm not kidding. they don't do much but give azula an audience in her training sessions and rants about being the rightful heir. i did love ty lee's encouragement though, it was cute

but adding on to that azula does not have that... fear factor. she does not have her friends scared of her, or the fire nation people under her control/influence. at least not yet

sokka and katara enters the spirit world with aang? that was a bit confusing. i understand that the directors/writers need to speed things up a little and need to provide some backstory to sokka and katara, but they are not supposed/be able to go to the spirit world with aang. it threw me off guard

bumi confused the heck out of me. they did not have him reveal his identity at the end so the games and challenge that he had aang do in the animation was given to him in the "catch-up" (basically) of his time in the war with aang. he just seemed kind of (more so than expected) all over the place for me...

roku did not tell aang about the comet. they talked about koh and how to save sokka and katara from being forever taken by koh instead (they were captured when they were in the spirit world). i assume aang will find out about this later? but from what i wonder...

sokka is a bit too serious for me as well... i adored him for coming a long way from the sexist beliefs that he held at the beginning of book 1 in the animation, but that was basically erased in the adaptation, sooo. and i completely understand that what he experienced as a child in this adaptation should've shaped him into a more serious character but dang. it's kinda to the point were his jokes are kinda cringy

his apparent obsession with suki (which was SO cute) but then chasing after other girls immediately afterwards? yes this was portrayed in the animation and i completely expected him to be flirty and whatnot (he's my flirty sarcastic hungry boi), but why have him stare wistfully and longingly at the fan that suki gave him when he is just going to turn around and chase after random fire nation girls (the one that got them running in like ep 3)? it doesn't make sense (and kind of makes sokka seem like an asshole). the creators should not push sukka so quick and fast and hard and then 180 sokka into a playboy. pick a side pleaseee *cries* (sukka was not pushed as hard in kyoshi island in the animation so i was okay with sokka being as flirty as he was)

the kind of arguments that sokka and katara have are kind of patronizing and demeaning. it's more of a "you're such a little girl and need to grow the f up" kinda feeling instead of a "im your big bro and am trying to protect you" kinda feeling

appa does not fight at all :(( . he's just the ride. sometimes forgotten in the background

likes:

excuse me but the azula hair flip?? in her introduction?? amazing.

ty lee is so perfectly casted it's like her animation popped out into real life. the hair and clothes UGH

i cried in the zuko and iroh moments and flashbacks to their relationship/iroh's loss/zuko's burn. CRIED. it was so emotional and well done

again, zuko and iroh's relationship is so strong in this adaptation you don't even knowww. iroh has like zero bad bones in his body from the get-go it's kinda amusing T-T

THE ZUTARA SCARF SCENE

all the cast look like their characters to me. even if their core traits/personalities are changed

jet and suki. that's all i have to say

sukka kiss and initial awkwardness. i cackled when suki went *sad face* when she thought she scared sokka away

OMASHU IS BASED ON A LESBIAN COUPLE

ozai is as evil and bad and merciless as ever. also manipulative. i can get where azula gets it from

it further explains/shows the "my father trained me into the weapon he wanted me to be" for azula

june and iroh. it changed from the creepy one-sidedness in the animation lol and june gave a talk about her way of life

the graphics for the bending are so cool. zuko's fire kicks *mesmerized*

fire nation burning of people. shows really how antagonistic ozai's peeps are

freedom fighters!!

the tiny soft moment between zuko and aang when zee blue spirit saves him :DD

hating zhao as he should be hated because he's as cowardly and stupid as ever

the 41st division!! cried at that nice touch

the way zuko actually fought back and showed compassion for his father in the agni kai and how his father basically forced him to be the way he is (all angsty and conflicted and whatnot) because "compassion is weakness and here is the scar i manually burn into your face to prove you)

overall if you love zuko this is your show because other characters may have faults but they killed it with my traumatized dude with the lil scar! and his uncle!! which he is already and always super nice to!!

#it is 3am and i am tired #so will talk more later #and these are my opinions lol so dont come after me if they are not yours #natla #aang #zuko #katara #sokka #wenz can talk #for anne mostly #honestly just want to see more character development and aang training and toph!!

[danvswild]

"Have you ever read Wild?"

Okay this is a question I got all the time when I told anyone that I was hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. And the answer is yes. I also saw a Tik Tok on how to annoy thru-hikers and this question was on the list lol

Well I personally don't mind the question and I bring up this book now because this next part is where Cheryl Strayed began her journey on the PCT. From Mojave/Tehachapi to Kennedy Meadows. This stretch lasts for roughly 150 miles and it took me about 6 days to complete.

After my well earned rest in Tehachapi, I headed back out on the trail to go through one of the most beautiful sections of the trail so far.

This is the foothills of the Sierra so naturally, the terrain changes into a more lush landscape and we began to gain some elevation. The campsites between Tehachapi and Kennedy Meadows were all stunning and at night I could see SO MANY STARS it was unreal.

I also need to note that the water carry out of Tehachapi was the longest by far! I want to say it was close to 40 miles? but don't quote me on this. I was very mindful of my water consumption in this part and hiked FAST trying to catch up to some hikers who left a day before me.

I also want to note I cried the most on this stretch of the trail. Not because of sadness but more so because I was in awe of my surroundings and felt surreal and blessed. This is definitely why I love to be outdoors immersed in nature. The sheer magnitude and beauty of the landscape evokes a certain feeling in you (◕‿◕✿)

^That was where I bawled lol

Anyways, I was able to catch up to my fellow hiker Strider in the next stretch and I made it to Walker Pass. We hitched a ride into Ridgewood and stocked up on some supply to push to Kennedy Meadows!

Fast forwarding a little bit, this next section was very hilly and I witnessed some of the most striking sunsets here. I can't stop recalling how beautiful it was and I keep thinking I need to use the word "beautiful" a bit less lol

Push Push Push

And there I was, in Kennedy Meadows!

Aw man, you wouldn't believe what I felt there. PURE ECSTASY

The fact that I had hiked 700 miles was mindblowing and seeing others who had walked the same journey melded a sense of solidarity and unity in this community.

The common topic of this hiker haven was where to go next. Because of the high snow fall in the Sierras, many decided to bypass and go up north. As for my trail family, we decided to head up to Mammoth Lakes to go skiing for a day and jump up north.

As for me, I had decided to get off the trail to attend Electric Forest and skip up to the Canadian border to hike down lol In retrospect, this was not a good decision.. but I have no regrets! I'll try to talk more about this process in the next post ＼(*T▽T*)／

#backpacking #hiking #pacific crest trail #pct #thru hiking #nature #camping #pct2023 #wild #kennedy meadows

[writing-for-life]

So, you mentioned something about Thessaly in a 90s context in one of your responses to another post, and I was wondering if you could expand on that. Because yeah, I have no problem with her *existing* as a character, because obviously she has a role in the narrative, but I highly suspect that her perceived role has changed a LOT in the intervening years since the initial writing.

As someone who first read Sandman in 2022, I figured that her character role was to get us to question what we think we know about Morpheus. Can we really trust that he's changed or improved, or that he's even all that likeable, if he's literally jumping into bed with this thoroughly unpleasant woman who likes violent murder *way* too much and also seems to be transphobic to boot?

At the same time, though, I got the uncomfortable sense that we were supposed to *like* Thessaly. In a sort of, "You go girl, be a #girlboss, let's show these boys we can be JUST as good at killing as them!" sort of way. Which I rationalized as "well, that probably was progressive in the 90s, but the idea of cold blooded violence and emphasis on the possession of a womb being feminist ideals has aged poorly."

So, yeah, I'm wondering if that is anywhere close to how she seemed in the "intended" context.

[As always: Send me asks about everything Sandman-related!]

This is such a good ask, and I feel there are a lot of bases to cover here. Not sure if I’ll do it justice, but here goes…

Disclaimer straightaway: I absolutely detest Thessaly and everything she’s done narratively, and I’m neither a Thessaly-apologist, nor someone who loves her as a character. But I think we need to discuss her with a bit more nuance than I see in lot of fandom spaces.

I think first of all, we need to look at:

Thessaly as a fictional character

As you already pointed out, she naturally has a role in the narrative. I also think parts of her role in said narrative are sometimes a bit misunderstood. One prime example would be the idea she never loved Morpheus. And yes, she absolutely always put herself and her own interests first, so from that angle, she loved herself more than she loved him. That doesn’t mean she never loved him at any point though. Many people quote her saying that she never did as proof that she didn’t. But what people say doesn’t always align with what they feel or do: She says at his wake she swore she’ll never cry over him again—and cries while she’s saying it. That tells us two things: She *did* cry because of him before. And she *does* cry now.

Again, she is a selfish, utterly horrid bitch, but she loved him at some point, and she was mad at him for neglecting her and not paying her enough attention. That’s when it turned sour (and we know how absolutely shit at communicating with women Morpheus is, so they’re both as bad as each other in that regard).

I see her as someone who is totally disconnected/dissociated from her emotions, to the extent that she probably really believes what she says, out of some deep-rooted fear of any kind of vulnerability. Why that is—we can only speculate, because Neil never went into it, hence nothing we assume will ever be canon.

What can be considered canon, however, is that Neil has confirmed the fact that she *did* love him at some point—most notably in the Sandman Companion:

Hy Bender: […] Of course, she’s lying when she says she never loved the Sandman.

Neil Gaiman: Of course; I think that’s made explicit by the final panel, where she says, `I swore I would never shed another tear for him’ while crying. But after he’s won her and then returned to his duties, he wasn’t enough for her anymore. She wanted attention; and when she wasn’t getting it, she said, “Right. We’re done,” and walked out on him.”

I’d also like to point out that the most trans-exclusionary prick in the whole of AGoY is actually George, just that he’s not a woman, and hence, no one ever seems to mention it (he’s actually the one egging Wanda on, not Thessaly). Plus, walking the moon road is maiden, mother and crone to a T, and consciously so. Foxglove is the maiden, Hazel is pregnant, and Thessaly is ancient. So Thessaly’s choice was also based on that, and the only one who Wanda really could have *potentially* replaced would have been Foxglove; she presumably never had penetrative sex, unlike Hazel (in the archaic definition of what penetration means, so we don’t need to argue about lesbian sex practices now). We don’t know that about Wanda, no matter if someone sees her as a man or a woman. I didn’t mean to get that explicit about maiden status, but I guess it *is* important in this context (although yes, of course Thessaly said Wanda is a man, and I’m not arguing that either, but I still think it was grounded in her belief how moon magic works).

Which brings me to a very important point: Thessaly is ancient. Culturally, we can’t compare her to someone who grew up in the 20th century, also with regard to her violent inclinations. She is thousands of years old. She’s seen it all. She has a fierce sense of self-preservation, maybe even rooted in some fears or trauma of her own. All not very nice character traits, no, but that’s not the yardstick, and probably was never supposed to be. I also remember Neil saying he consciously wanted to oppose neopaganism and the watered down, new wave witchcraft of the time (late 1980s/early 1990s, and that, I really remember), which was all about the “divine feminine”, female empowerment, tarot cards and incense sticks. I’m being a bit flippant now, but it isn’t far off. It was more of a trend than anything. He wanted to consciously oppose it with someone who would still act according to ancient, rather violent codes and rules. And Morpheus will have known those, and probably found them less surprising than we do (doesn’t necessarily mean he’d condone them either).

The fact whether Thessaly should make us question Morpheus in the comics is a tricky one. What she definitely *should* make us question is: Morpheus could have quite easily broken some rules in the Kindly Ones when Thessaly had set up the protection circle for Lyta, and the consequences probably would have been less disastrous than playing by said rules. And we can safely presume he knew. We are also supposed to question the same when he lets Nuala call in her boon and doesn’t just say: “This isn’t really a good time, can we do this later?” (and he absolutely COULD have done that), but actually follows through with going ,“Well, what gives, I basically grant you your boon now and leave the Dreaming, even though I know the potential consequences.” So yes, Thessaly is supposed to make us question Dream’s choices, but probably not the way we think. And for that, we perhaps should look deeper into…

Thessaly the TERF and Feminism in the late 1980s/early 1990s

This might get a bit longwinded, and I am showing my age here. I grew up at the intersection of second wave and third wave feminism, and as a bisexual woman, I made a lot of experiences during the early 90s that feel wholly aligned with the plot of AGoY (which was written during that time). I don’t want to write a whole essay about feminism here, but second wave feminism was on its way out in the late 80s. A lot of the bad associations some people have with feminism today stem from that time (not always justified, because a lot of good was achieved during that period. But parts of it in specific sub-communities—definitely problematic). Equality vs equity discussions within the feminist movement were dominating everything, and the divide between radfems and libfems was getting deeper. People like Audre Lorde IMHO rightly criticised that failing to understand that not all women start on equal footing, that not all women are the same, is problematic (so you could easily see how this is incorporated into the narrative of AGoY).

Second wave feminism wasn’t just about making sure women had rights. It was very much about “all of us can do everything men do, and we want the same a man gets”. It was all about the workspace (so often very white, CIS, middle class), not being at home with the kids etc (of course there were also other topics, but this one was really quite dominant). You could even see it fashion (massive shoulder pads etc). All the while, actually *being* a man was vilified (again, just in certain quarters).

So I feel you’re on to something with your #girlboss comment, only that I don’t think it was intentionally set up to like her, but rather as a criticism of what certain quarters of the feminist movement were like at the time.

Personal anecdote: I got that type of schtick from WITHIN the LGBT community at the time. Bi-erasure was big. And there were radfem lesbians that would actually tell you that being bi doesn’t exist, that you are basically a traitor to your “sisters” and just a lesbian who isn’t fully out. The same shite they used to criticise about men who would say you’re only a lesbian because you haven’t found the right guy yet. And here they went, telling you that you can’t be attracted to men if you’re also attracted to women.

Third wave feminism has a much stronger focus on the individual woman and what it means to be a woman to HER. This also included trans women, much more than during the second wave. Judith Butler’s work is actually exemplary for this (in essence, there is no such woman as “the” woman—we’re all different despite sharing common traits and problems. Trying to make us all the same will only harm us in the long run).

And with AGoY and Thessaly, we are exactly at the moment in time (in the comics) where that shift happens. I think Neil got it right for the time, and understood a lot of what was going on. Many people in queer communities felt really understood and seen, myself included. I absolutely see how that translates differently today. But it always saddens me when the historical context gets completely stripped away, and people don’t take the time a work of fiction was written into consideration and only measure it from today’s viewpoint. We can, and absolutely have to be critical if the TV shows fails to address these points and just translates everything 1-2-1. Which I am fairly certain won’t happen, because Thessaly has already been stripped off a lot of her obvious TERFiness in the Audible. I’m not even sure if we’ll get her in the show—we’ll hopefully find out.

Phew, that was long, I’m gonna lie down 😂

#sandman meta #sandman #the sandman #thessaly #sandman and feminism #agoy #a game of you #Wanda #the wake

[soulsty]

....dude Fi was designed to look 13-14 according to the devs. it's really creepy that you ship her with anyone tbh, ESPECIALLY Ghirahim. she's literally a child. says a lot about you imo

Alright alright alright, let’s clear this up.

!DISCLAIMER BEFORE I START!

Do not mistake this post as me trying to excuse weird shit. Ew. I hate pro-shipping. Get it away from me.

Now into the nitty gritty-

Quoting DIRECTLY, from Hyrule Historia, it is on my lap as we speak

“• Looks 13 or 14”

Does this concept art look a lot like our finalized Fi design? Yes it does. This is the second closest to the finalized version in the book

So let’s go over more of this, and the several reasons why I think this isn’t canon.

“• metallic texture”

That didn’t stick around. I often joke that everything in Skyward Sword looks like it’s made out of fondant, and while her clothing does, her skin and wings looks much closer to porcelain.

“• a naive cuteness”

uhh, sure? She never seemed naive to me, but she is still cute so… that stuck I guess?

I don’t need to go over the last bullet point, because that is just true lmao

But here’s the kicker! Right?

“Like the Fairy Queen in Wind Waker”

The Fairy Queen is obviously a child. We know this, look at her, she also flirts with 12 year old Link iirc

But what makes this design look like the fairy queen? The hair does, it’s exactly the same, just parted on the opposite side. The grey-blue color is really similar. Her… eyes? But wait… that’s the same eye type as the regular Great Fairies? And Ghirahim?

She didn’t even carry over the circular toon style eyes in her final design

I’m pretty sure I could assume the Great Fairies in WW are meant to be adults right? Other versions always have been, and they very clearly look like an older version of the Fairy Queen… so why does Fi’s finalized design actually look a bit more like them? From the pointed eyes to the strong nose-to-eyebrow ridge, she’s starting to look less like the Queen to me…

But let’s go back to the concept art. What else does it say?

These are the same design as the other one that says she looks 13-14, just a bit less detailed

hmm… huh… that’s interesting. Her gem changes color? Well, that’s not canon

Wait what? “Connected to the arm, which is why it bends.” She has arms under her wings?

THEY TOOK HER GODDAMN ARMS

So yeah, in that same design where she “looks 13 or 14” she had arms. Do with that what you will

How about we dive even deeper into Fi’s concept art, hmm?

It seems pretty clear to me that she wasn’t meant to be a child character from the start, some of these designs appear child-like (the one next to the iron man design in particular), but lots of these are also just women

But okay, okay, let’s take a step back from Fi’s concept art. How about Ghirahim’s, what does his say?

The same age as Link? This mfer is 17?? Jesus Christ, talk about the jock kid in high school

Jokes aside, I don’t believe that, he refers to Link as a child the entire time, all of his concept art pre-finalized, just looks like old men, so I assume that moreso meant they were straying away from that design element.

I would also like to mention that Ghirahim’s concept art states in his sword form “He shows emotion without using his eyes”

While very clearly showing a picture of him expressing with his eyes, something that remains consistent in-game as well. So this could be translation error, or just… idk honestly it just doesn’t really make sense lmao

The tl;dr of all this concept art talk is this:

Don’t take concept art as fact. As an artist, concept art is literally that. A concept. I have made designs with elements that have been changed drastically by the finalized version. It’s all a process.

SO! Now that we’re done with the concept art, let’s actually move to references from the game.

At the beginning of the game, this is said, by Gaepora and Fi

Link is referred to as “a/the youth” multiple times, as opposed to Fi being referred to once as “youthful in likeness yet wise with knowledge immeasurable.”

Youthful in likeness. Not an actual youth, and the youthful in likeness thing could not even necessarily tie back to saying she looks 13-14, just that she looks young. Youthful is a very large age-range after all.

My second point about in-game… Scrapper. This doesn’t really lead too far, because we have no idea how “old” Scrapper is “supposed to be”, he’s a robot, he has less of an age than Ghirahim and Fi, BUT he’s allowed to be an absolute simp, to the point of calling her “Mistress” non-stop, so idk, that just doesn’t read as something a child would go through to me.

UPDATE: more evidence on the front of Scrapper, when he firsts meets Link, he explicitly doesn’t want to help Link because, and I quote “Serving children is very low in my task priority.” Then Fi appears, blah blah blah, you can’t carry the windmill propeller in your pouch, right? Then Scrapper says “Who are you!?” And does what I can only describe as his version of an AWOOGA (what being “zrrt-FWOOOSH”, paraphrased) and continues, “Your name is…Fi? Should I call you Mistress Fi? Are you looking for something Mistress Fi? …I…understand. At your request, I will carry anything, regardless of weight or destination…”

So there you go, serving children is very low in his priority, Hylia was around at the same time the LD units were active, so Hylia would’ve known about the Scrapper units priorities, (assuming they all have the same priority list) so why would she make a child? Just why? And in the same vein, why would Hylia make her servant sword-spirit a child in the first place, that doesn’t make any sense 😭

Looping back around to where this all started, what does “looks 13 or 14” even specifically mean? She looks that age, not she is that age. And I’m not going to go Lolita topic with this, I’m not here to say “she’s like 1,000 years old! So of course she isn’t a child!” I’m here to say, lots of people look older, or younger than they actually are. She’s almost the same height as Link, so if she were meant to be around his age, she’d probably be around 16, and if she’s 16, and Ghirahim is 17 according to his concept art, where did your argument go?

Speaking realistically, Hylia probably designed her to look young and ‘cute’ so she wouldn’t scare Link. Let’s be real, her personality is intimidating, and she was going to be projecting herself into his dreams, so if she had a intimidating appearance (like some of her old concepts), Link would probably be afraid of her.

That’s all. I could go deeper into some of these points, and add on other things, but I think some stuff is self-explanatory.

Now, even if you want to discredit everything I just said, Ghirahim and Fi are both adults in all of my work. Unless explicitly stated or shown otherwise.

I draw and write them how I envision them in my head. In Skyward Sword, I have always read both of them as adults. I have not aged-up Fi for this ship, that’s fucking weird. They are both adults.

#ghirafi #ghirahim #fi skyward sword #I know I shouldn’t have ever given this person this much time of day at all #but honestly it’s nice to get this out of my system #a lot of this is probably over explained but #I’m autistic whaddya do #I am the one who KNACKs

[reclusivebookslug]

Bella Swan is Autistic: An Analysis

(Disclaimers: I enjoy Twilight in spite of its problematic elements, not because of them or in ignorance of them. There are as many different ways to be autistic as there are autistic people. Many allistic people will relate on some level to some aspects of the autistic experience; this does not make them autistic. This is all just my opinion, based on my experience as a late-diagnosed, low-support-needs autistic woman. I am aware this is not a brand-new original idea.)

I reread Twilight (I think for the first time since getting diagnosed 4 years ago) and I found a bunch of things I relate to Bella about. Below the cut is a list of some of her autism-related character traits with quotes for textual evidence. The links lead to articles explaining how these traits relate to autism. The list is ordered chronologically based on page number of the accompanied quotes. Page numbers are based on the paperback edition with ISBN-13: 9780316015844. A backslash in a quote signifies a paragraph break. I’ll update if I read any of the other books or rewatch the movies and anything new comes up.

Bella has trouble regulating her emotional expressions: she has to put conscious effort into how she presents herself

"I'd always been a bad liar" (p. 4). "For some reason, my temper was hardwired to my tear ducts. I usually cried when I was angry, a humiliating tendency" (p. 25). "I had never been enormously tactful" (p. 31). "'My face is so easy to read -- my mother always calls me her open book'" (p. 50).

Bella is shy and a bit socially awkward: she avoids attention for fear of embarrassment

"Charlie wasn't comfortable with expressing his emotions out loud. I inherited that from him" (p. 7). "Mr. Varner... was the only one who made me stand in front of the class and introduce myself. I stammered, blushed, and tripped over my own boots on the way to my seat" (p. 17). "To my dismay, I found myself the center of attention for the rest of the week" (pp. 68-69).

Bella feels different from other people: she doesn’t know how to connect with others and feels pressure to fit in

"I didn't relate well to people my age. Maybe the truth was that I didn't relate well to people, period. Even my mother, who I was closer to than anyone else on the planet, was never in harmony with me, never on exactly the same page. Sometimes I wondered if I was seeing the same things through my eyes that the rest of the world was seeing through theirs. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain" (pp. 10-11). "I answered honestly, instead of pretending to be normal like everyone else" (p. 47). “'My mind doesn't work right? I'm a freak?' The words bothered me more than they should -- probably because his speculation hit home. I'd always suspected as much, and it embarrassed me to have it confirmed" (p. 181).

Bella has a unique sense of humor: other people don’t get her jokes and she doesn’t get other peoples’ jokes

"'You don't look very tan.' / 'My mother is part albino.' / He studied my face apprehensively, and I sighed. It looked like clouds and a sense of humor didn't mix. A few months of this and I'd forget how to use sarcasm" (p. 16). “Bella was being unintentionally funny” (p. 367).

Bella finds comfort in routine: the change in routine from moving was difficult for her, and she felt better once the new routine became familiar

"I fell into the pattern of the familiar task gladly" (p. 33).

Bella is academically gifted: she finds assignments easier than her peers do, she has already read the books assigned in her English course

"'Were you in an advanced placement program in Phoenix?' / 'Yes'" (p. 47).

Bella enjoys being alone: she is introverted and enjoys solitary activities

"In a lot of ways, living with Charlie was like having my own place, and I found myself reveling in the aloneness instead of being lonely" (p. 54). "I've never minded being alone" (p. 241).

Bella has motor difficulties: she is clumsy, uncoordinated, accident-prone, and bad at sports

"Possibly my crippling clumsiness was seen as endearing rather than pathetic, casting me as a damsel in distress" (p. 55). "My sense of direction was hopeless; I could get lost in much less helpful surroundings" (p. 136).

Bella has special interests: Edward and books

"... no one else was as aware of Edward as I always was. No one else watched him the way I did" (p. 69). "I was sitting in my room, researching vampires. What was wrong with me" (p. 135)? "... they didn't know how preoccupied I could get when surrounded by books; it was something that I preferred to do alone" (p. 156).

Bella is perceived as different by others: a history of social exclusion is hinted at, Edward’s mind-reading doesn’t work on her

"'It's better if we're not friends,' he explained. 'Trust me.' / My eyes narrowed. I'd heard that before” (pp. 74-75). "He enunciated every syllable, as if he were talking to someone mentally handicapped" (p. 83). "'My mom always says I was born thirty-five years old and that I get more middle-aged every year'" (p. 106). ".'.. maybe your mind doesn't work the same way the rest of theirs do. Like your thoughts are on the AM frequency and I'm only getting FM'” (p. 181). "'You're not like anyone I've ever known. ... / ... 'I have a better than average grasp of human nature. People are predictable. But you ... you never do what I expect. You always take me by surprise'" (p. 245).

Bella has sensory differences: she notices and is bothered by things others don’t and aren’t, she engages in sensory-seeking and sensory-avoiding behavior when stressed

"'People can't smell blood,' he contradicted. / 'Well, I can -- that's what makes me sick. It smells like rust ... and salt" (p. 100). "I put in my headphones, hit Play, and turned up the volume until it hurt my ears. I closed my eyes, but the light still intruded, so I added a pillow over the top of my face" (pp. 129-130). "'You're always crabbier when your eyes are black ... I expect it then' ... 'I have a theory about that'" (p. 171). “For three and a half hours I stared at the wall, curled in a ball, rocking” (p. 425).

#twilight #the twilight saga #isabella swan #bella swan #stephenie meyer #autism #neurodivergent #masking #masked autistic #autistic headcanon #autistic hc #twilight headcanon #twilight hc #autistic bella swan #bella swan is autistic #autistic bella swan headcanon #twilight fan theory #feel free to add on #feel free to reblog #autistic characters #special interest infodump #projecting #twilight renaissance #twilight bella

[rallamajoop]

Hi! I was reading up your meta and I saw you mention you'll talk about "did Dracula feed on Jonathan?" but I can't find it! Has it been posted? Thank you!

Ah, yeah ‒ I did promise that back in my How Gay was Bram Stoker? post, but you can file that one under the general category of "stuff I totally meant to write, but then never got around to." But what the hell: let's do this!

Ahem.

Did Dracula ever feed on Jonathan?

The short answer, based on what Jonathan overhears Dracula saying to his wives in a short passage everyone following Dracula Daily would have read on June 29, is: yes, and perhaps even, well, obviously?

"Back, back, to your own place! Your time is not yet come. Wait! Have patience! To-night is mine. To-morrow night is yours!" There was a low, sweet ripple of laughter, and in a rage I threw open the door, and saw without the three terrible women licking their lips. As I appeared they all joined in a horrible laugh, and ran away. [emphasis mine]

In other words: the brides get to feed on Jonathan tomorrow. It’s Dracula’s turn tonight. If the dialogue doesn’t make this clear enough, the ‘three terrible women licking their lips’ is pretty unambiguous. And we know Dracula did feed that night, because the morning after, Jonathan finds him asleep in his coffin, looking suddenly much younger, with blood dripping from the corners of his mouth. Jonathan never puts together that it was himself Dracula fed on (or at least never mentions it in his diary) – but then, Lucy and Mina never had any idea they’d been fed on either. So the implications remain technically subtext, but there for anyone paying attention.

Except there’s another version of that paragraph quoted above. The Dracula Daily text is evidently drawing from the American version of Dracula, published in 1899 (and pictured above). The original UK publication came out two years previously, and there, Dracula’s speech is oh-so-significantly different.  

"Back, back, to your own place! Your time is not yet come. Wait! Have patience! To-morrow night, to-morrow night is yours!" [emphasis again mine]

‘To-night is mine!’ never appeared in Dracula’s original publication, and any subtext that Dracula may have fed on Jonathan is that much subtler without it. Stranger still, this seems to be the only notable difference between the two versions of Dracula: Stoker certainly hasn’t made significant rewrites, nor is there any other evidence some US editor had it sloppily transcribed. So was this change Stoker’s? Was it a deliberate change at all, or just an accident of editing?

Now, I want ‘To-night is mine!’ to be the definitive version – not just because I’m always here for slashy vampire shenanigans, but because it makes so much more sense. Why force the brides to wait for tomorrow, if not so Dracula could have first dibs? For which matter, why keep Jonathan alive and (physically) unharmed in the castle for so long at all, if not as Dracula’s convenient, pre-journey snack? It even ties right back to Jonathan’s first encounter with the brides, and Dracula’s iconic line, This man belongs to me!

It’s admittedly a little questionable that Jonathan himself never acknowledges such definitive evidence Dracula has fed on him (in either version) – but then, panic and denial can do a number on the faculties of a man far faster on the uptake than our dear Jonathan. ‘Tonight is mine, tomorrow is yours!’ doesn’t just read better, it all adds up.

Before I get too bogged down in conspiracy-theories though, I’d like to share one suspiciously similar bit of trivia from the first (authorised) Dracula film adaptation, the Universal picture from 1932. Here, it’s nominally Renfield rather than Jonathan who goes to the castle, and the ‘brides’ have only two scenes and no dialogue, but the climax of the castle section still plays some familiar notes. Drugged at dinner, our Jonathan/Renfield amalgam collapses, and we watch the brides advance on him with clear intent – only for Dracula to sweep in, turn them aside, and lean down over our hapless hero himself.

But this wasn’t supposed to be the version that made it to screen. Supposedly, studio execs had insisted that it would be the women who fall upon their victim, not Dracula himself – and that’s what was in the shooting script. In fact, you can see this version shot as intended in the Spanish-language version of the film (shot at night with a whole second cast and crew, using the same sets and script). But the director for the English-version, Tod Browning, had the sense to ignore the official mandate and let the film's titular villain be the one to bite Renfield. He’s the real threat – he’s the one who Renfield will spend the rest of the film obsessed with. Why undercut that in your very first act?

The answer, of course, is the dreaded h-word: homoeroticism. A vampire bite is far too sexy to be allowed to happen between two men. The boundaries on that one fascinate me a little: neither the novel nor any film adaptation has ever balked at vampire!Lucy preying on children or the brides eating a literal baby because they’re seeing paedophilic overtones all of a sudden. These are horrifying acts, certainly, but here we take them at face value.

By and large though, Dracula is not the text you want to come at with the ‘rational’ notion that there’s nothing inherently sexy about a vampire bite: this is a book where even mundane, life-preserving blood-transfusions have become a very significant metaphor by the time of Lucy’s death. And who goes to a Dracula movie wanting to see Dracula biting men? (Yes, yes, I know. Please form an orderly queue to the left.)

My point in all this is that it’s not like we don’t know that nervous producers are perfectly willing to cut some corners off the integrity of their own product for fear of getting The Gay in their good, wholesome, gothic vampire film. And if producers from the 1930’s could do it… why not publishers from the 1890’s?

This is why it’s so hard not to find layers of meaning in that critical little addition of To-night is mine! Was there some earlier draft of Stoker’s manuscript (much like whichever theoretical earlier draft of the screenplay those execs had objected to) which contained that line? Was it Stoker himself who got nervous, and cut it from the British manuscript before publication? Keep in mind, this was only a couple of years after the Oscar Wilde trial, an incident which brought homosexuality under more scrutiny than it had suffered in an age. Stoker was already a known Wilde-associate, who’d take chances in that environment?

Or was it his publishers who made the change? Anything's possible. Either way, how the ‘original’ version found its way back into the US version is still in question: maybe Stoker found his nerve again, or maybe he just accidentally included a page from the wrong draft ‒ but it's easy to miss these things when the result is an ocean away. Don’t tell me it doesn't sound plausible!

Alas, I am guilty of building this one up mostly just to knock it down again: what little real evidence we have all points the other way. When Stoker re-edited a (slightly) abridged version of Dracula in 1901 (two years after the American one), the original ‘Tomorrow, tomorrow!’ line is dutifully reproduced. When he threw together a stage version (very rough, and which would be “performed” exactly once for copyright reasons alone), there was no ‘To-night is mine!’ in that one either. And the single, surviving full-but-unfinished draft of Dracula that anyone has ever found contained the 'To-morrow' version too. There are some fascinating differences between that one draft and either published version and I could talk about it all day – but if Very Rough Draft Outlines of Dracula is to be believed, then ‘Tomorrow, tomorrow’ was part of the novel long before it reached publication. There’s nothing about this scene in any of Stoker’s earlier very-rough-draft-outlines for Dracula either.

All that said, I still want ‘To-night is mine!’ to have been Stoker’s original plan for that scene. It just works so much better on so many levels!

It also adds rather fascinating little wrinkle to another favourite Dracula-debate topic of mine: does anyone bitten by a vampire become one, or do you have to drink that vampire’s blood in turn?

In these modern, rational times (filled with tales of complex, even sympathetic vampires), we’re much more comfortable with the vampire's-blood version. It just doesn’t track that everyone bitten by a vampire becomes one ‒ not without one vampire turning into a major zombie outbreak within a matter of weeks. And it's so widespread now that few realise the idea didn’t even exist before Dracula. Traditional vampire folklore has a thousand variations and as many different ways someone can join the undead (including being bitten by one), but drinking vampire blood is one I have never found a remotely credible source for. If anything, drinking a vampire’s blood often works to protect you from that vampire (smearing it on your body or eating some of the grave soil may also do the trick).

And even in Dracula, debate remains as to why Dracula forces Mina to drink his blood. Many assert that the true point is to create the psychic connection he uses to spy on her friends later (and his own dialogue in that scene could certainly be taken that way). Meanwhile, Van Helsing does say that anyone bitten can become a vampire. He doesn’t seem at all concerned this will happen to the children Lucy has fed on, but then, destroying the parent vampire before the potential vampires have turned is exactly how Mina is saved too. Whether or not you buy it, it still holds together.

The one-bite version is an interpretation you can still see in lots of post-Dracula media too. Hammer’s Dracula films of the 50s-70s, for example, certainly seem to think that being bitten is plenty (how long the transformation takes post-bite is… less consistent). Not until after Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire comes out in the 1970’s does the idea that you need to drink the vampire’s blood in turn really seem to start taking hold.

But it’s not as though no-one reading Stoker’s novel ever came away with the idea that he'd added a new element to the process of becoming a vampire. Universal’s 1931 film doesn’t even show the iconic blood-drinking scene, leaving Mina simply to recount those events in dialogue after the fact – but Dracula spells out his own purpose to Van Helsing very clearly: "You are too late. My blood now flows through her veins. She will live through the centuries to come...as I have lived."

In fact, there’s an even earlier script from 1927, from a failed attempt to create a new stage version commissioned by Stoker’s own widow, that takes the same angle: “Come, drink of my blood, that you may become even as I.” (Thank you to Skal's Hollywood Gothic for that interesting tidbit!) It’s unlikely that honouring her late-husband’s artistic intent was foremost in Widow Florence's concerns (far more about securing a higher cut of the profits than she was getting from the existing stage versions), but the fact Mrs. Stoker herself was down with that interpretation isn’t nothing.

Looping all the way back to the original point, though, if Jonathan really was supposed to have been bitten by Dracula way back in the early chapters of the novel, then we can pretty much throw the one-bite theory out the window. It doesn’t neaten everything up: we’ve still got the weird implication that Lucy could have been saved by enough blood-transfusions, whereas Mina slowly deteriorates over the journey back to the castle and only Dracula’s death will save her, and so on – because as much as I love this novel, Stoker’s vampire mythology is an inconsistent mess with more holes in it than a parade of slowly-turning vampire victims (and it really is such a tribute to the overall atmosphere that it still draws you in, and can even keep you from noticing the inconsistencies). But damn, could one little bite-mark on Jonathan’s neck recontextualise so much of the rest of the story.

Tl;dr: I will never know for sure whether Stoker’s original plans for Dracula involved Jonathan being bitten by the titular vampire himself, or how that one line came to differ between the UK and US publications. But I really want the US version to be the ‘true’ one. And maybe now you do too.

(Photos of Dracula & Jonathan come from Michael Pink's ballet adaptation of Dracula ‒ the slashiest ballet version I've seen and my second-favourite overall, because I am entirely the kind of Dracula-nerd with a second-favourite ballet version, what can I tell you.)

#Dracula #Dracula Daily #Jonathan Harker #The Homoeroticism of Dracula #Dracula meta #Hammer Dracula #Universal Dracula

[sykloni]

hi! I saw your “healing light” story (I loved it btw) and found your interpretation of the purple light really interesting! I’ve been wondering what it was - given that purple is the color of the upgraded telekinesis and butterfly charmer emotes, as well as the purple stream of light that connects us to mantas. My original thought was that it might be darkness (given that it makes it night and looks a bit similar to a darkstone diamond) (which would also place the red light as sort of a light element) or that it might represent memory (as the hint says “hoards ancient secrets). So I’d be curious to hear more of your thoughts on it! Do you have theories for all the lights, or just orange and purple?

Oh yes! I have so many theories as well as things I have basically just made up to make sense of how the world of Sky used to be. I think many different headcanons could be true since we know so little, but personally I don't really care if something is actually true or not if it's interesting.

But anyway my thoughts on colored lights!

I am using them to basically explain the magic system of Sky, (because that's what it is, magic). My headcannon is that (most) living things in the world of Sky have an inner light, that's basically their life force. It is possible to learn to control this inner light for different purposes and harvest the power of colored lights.

---

Here is what each colored light represents for me:

Cyan light - AIR ~antigravity, weightlessness, air currents, wind paths

Red Light - DARKNESS ~consume/release, ability to absorb power from surroundings as well as from other creatures, krill's light, darkstone, the basic principle behind power crystal technology (This is the one I have thought about most and I have many fascinating ideas about it.)

Orange Light - FIRE ~healing, life

Blue Light - WATER - purifying, bubbles, snow

Purple Light - MIND ~ levitation, telekinesis, psychic powers, altering reality

Green Light - EARTH ~mostly plants

Yellow/White Light ~"regular light", contains the potential of all the other lights (just like in reality white light contains all the waveleghts)

---

Like you can see I don't associate Purple Light with the darkness, for me all that falls under the Red Light which (quoting the Enchantment quests) "can be found where darkness prevails". I honestly never even considered making any connections between Purple Light and the darkness 🤔 Mostly I think there are two reasons for that:

By "the darkness" I don't mean just any absence of light. I think of the darkness more like a force of nature that's opposite to The Light(/Megabird) and I mostly use it in reference to pollution and corrupted things like dark crabs and krill.

Even if the Purple Light quest turns the Forgotten Ark into night after doing the Enchantment quest, it doesn't make the area dark, quite the opposite it fills it with moonlight that comes through the cloud cover and makes it actually pretty bright.

But you are of course free to headcanon things differently! :) Just like I said in the beginning we know very little about the world of Sky for sure and my headcanons also change when I think of something better/more fitting

#ask #(English is not my first language) #(and I am not the best at explaining things through just words so I hope this still makes sense) #(and thank you for the ask) #(it's so rare to get those 💜)

[13leaguestories]

February 2023 Forecast

I am writing this with my back and neck in horrible pain. Worse way to start your morning is to get up, stretch, and then pull something. I feel bed ridden.

"T, are you done with your break?" No idea. Define break. My brain is slowly coming back to me so good news is I'm not quitting lmfao. My brain almost had me in the first half ... and most of the second. When I do return though, I'm implementing a new writing process called "write what I want to fucking write when I want to fucking write it."

"T, did you need to add all those expletives?" No. But you know how a lot of folks be like 'as I get older I'm going to curse less?' I'm the opposite. I curse more. It makes me feel all tingly inside.

Alright, welcome to the second best month, purely because it's my birthday month, that's literally it. You know I share this month with both my brother and my father, plus my parents and my brother's anniversaries. Like, the shortest month is basically the busiest for my family in terms of celebrations. Why did they do this? I don't know, no one uses sense in this family besides me.

MOVING ON! Bout to enter into a All My Woes episode.

Superstition S3

Still on break. Do not ask me when it's coming back. Because I'm going to do what I should've done (and what you guys thought I do already) and actually write a good bit of it. I'll probably put up a poll asking if you guys want to keep the bi-weekly schedule or if I just update it as the episodes are complete.

Throne of Ashes

Working on updating the demo with Makaio's finished demo and some bug fixes for the other routes. Nour is next and Ozara will be following them on that upload schedule.

Insight

Because unlike its cousin, For the Crown, Insight is not 100% dead, it's more like on life support. But I'll be updating it with the new UI that I have to bring it in line with the others. Also an additional chapter will be added so now the demo will end at Ch5.

Future T here. I've already updated it with the new UI and the first bug fix. A bigger one is coming so still, if you find any bugs, hold off on sending them in. Bug reports make me depressed and you guys don't want to see that, right? RIGHT?!

Horizon: Sea of Stars

Per my "do what ya want" lifestyle, yes, Tierra has done it again. She has said fuck it to common sense and those two friends out of ten that said don't do it, and she went and made a new project. I blame eight friends who inspire me in the most negative ways because I never blame myself. Never blame yourselves, you're never toxic, it's those around you. (That's a lie, do not quote me. My god.)

This is a scif-fi project (because I needed to have the holy trinity of the best genres out there to make myself feel complete (jokes on me I still feel empty)). The MC is like Phoenix MC in some ways where this is not exactly 100% self-insert friendly, there are a few traits included and mindsets that you as the reader can't change. 6 romances, 2 males, 2 females, and 2 nonbinary. 5 of the 6 are aliens. And art is on it's way with two of the characters already done. I have art of the alien species as well because I know how difficult it can be to picture an alien based off of descriptions alone. They will be included in story to further help.

This is me just telling you guys, I'll post all of the info of the book itself with the demo like I normally do. Especially when I figure out where I want the demo to stop at. It's still pretty much in alpha mode with only one chapter done and even that is still seeing edits.

Also if any of you have got this far and know an artist or you are someone who can do really nice colorful covers and are good with backgrounds then tell me because I'm still searching for a cover artist.

. . .

There is also now a Light Mode on some stories. If it's not there then it's being worked on. Don't look at Superstition, it's not there.

Alright, I think that's it. I'm going to go lie down and scream at the heavens about my neck.

Future T again. My neck is better but if I look over my shoulder it's like "naw girl, stop that."

#monthly forecast

[transandersrights]

I have an adorable prompt for you today! Anders and Ser Pounce-a-Lot and the quote “Thanks. For a while I felt human again.”

Can be real short or however long you like. Feels like something cozy/fluffy

(I take prompts! See info here)

I don't think I've ever written Pounce before so this was a fun new thing!! It's not SUPER fluffy but they're both gonna be totally fine I promise. So here: ~600 words of Anders & Pounce for @dadrunkwriting :)

Anders didn’t know how long he’d been walking. You’d think, with his particular history, that he’d have some kind of skill in judging the passage of time without the sun to match it. Turns out he wasn’t.

Really, he was surprised he was still alive. Normally when you fell off a bit of the Deep Roads, that was it. The end. No chance of emerging again, because you were probably off any of your maps and definitely getting closer to where Darkspawn would be there, ready to pounce.

Maybe his squad had already given up. It would be reasonable, if they hadn’t managed to work out where exactly he fell to or how to get down safely. He’d moved on, they would have had to move on, and now they were separate.

He was running out of water; soon, he’d start running out of food, and then he’d be done for. Still…

Pounce, trotting steadily ahead of him, meowed and came to a stop. Not from danger — Anders couldn’t sense a damn thing, and he’d definitely be able to if Darkspawn were approaching. He just… didn’t want to walk anymore?

“You wanna stop, buddy?”

Pounce meowed again.

“Alright. We can stop for a bit.” Five minutes wouldn’t make a difference to whether he made it out before he ran out of water. Ditching Pounce when he got it into his head he needed to stop would, obviously, but that was a cruelty he wouldn’t entertain.

“What’s up?”

Pounce meowed again, determinedly rubbing his body against Anders’ legs.

“Oh, alright.” Anders shifted his pack around and let himself drop to the floor, his tired legs thanking him and protesting at the change in position immediately. Just as instantly, Pounce lived up to his name and made Anders’ lap his prey, curling into a near-perfect circle the moment he settled down. “You’re so demanding.”

A quieter meow this time. Pounce was probably tired at this point — maybe he’d stopped to sleep.

“I can put you in my pack, you know,” Anders said. There was plenty of space for that now, with his rations dwindling. He liked to think he was getting closer to the surface — the road had certainly been moving what felt like upwards — but who knew? Pounce almost certainly didn’t.

This time, a meow of protest, followed by Pounce nestling even deeper.

“You want attention, do you?” His response, of course, was less a noise and more a vibration as Pounce communicated his approval. “You know, I think you’re smarter and better at understanding people than any smelly mabari. You’re a good boy, Pounce.”

As he spoke, he moved to card his fingers through Pounce’s fur. He was a little grimy, having long since accepted the impossibility of safely grooming himself when coated with the persistent grease and Maker-knows-what of the Deep Roads. Even with the slightly wrong feeling, it was good. He felt a bit better.

Pounce really was the only thing that made this all bearable, sometimes. Anders hated the Deep Roads, but Pounce didn’t seem to care. He thrived everywhere — a particularly admirable trait Anders wished he could live up to even a little.

Pounce’s next insistent meow interrupted his thoughts, and Anders laughed. “Yes, alright.” This time, he moved to scritch Pounce behind the ears. He let out a little mrrp sound, leaning in. “Thanks. For a while there, I felt human again.”

The tunnels of the Deep Roads stretched out ahead and behind, the darkness ever-encroaching. But here, in their private little corner, there was a small (and distinctly fluffy) light.

#anders #dragon age fanfiction #anders dragon age #da drunk writing circle #ser pounce a lot

[mirrorsblogs]

𝑹.𝑺, 𝑹. 𝑺𝒖𝒌𝒖𝒏𝒂

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 𝙢𝙖𝙟𝙤𝙧 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝, 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝, 𝙪𝙣-𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙩𝙝𝙮 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥, 𝙨𝙪𝙠𝙪𝙣𝙖 𝙞𝙨 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙖 𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙞𝙯𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣

There in the deep forest where Himiko’s mother told you to never go was a stone temple. It was simple in its outward design almost replicating others she had seen previously but the vine growth around the stone made it look divine.

“Wow..” Her voice was a small whisper compared to the other sounds of nature. Stepping closer she noticed more intricate details around the stone, carvings in a language she could barely make out. “Here lay the beloved…”

The air around her changed as she paused in reading. Her eyes darted around to find any source of the change in the wind but found none.

“...of the most damned being of them all.”

Suddenly as if out of nowhere the rain began to pour in droves despite the sky looking clear before. Himiko cursed under her breath and ran back to her house as fast as she could but still could not forget those engraved words.

Who carved them? Who were they about? 

“Gojo-sensei!” It was a few days later and Himiko was forced to leave the temple behind for her tenure at Jujutsu Tech.

“Yes?” The lilt in his voice seeped through.

“I found an old temple when I went home and I was wondering if you could help me find out who it was for?”

“This sounds interesting, do share.”

“It said something about the ‘love of the most damned being of all’, or something like that.” Himiko held air quotes to emphasize her point.

“The most damned? Couldn’t be Noritoshi Kamo.” Gojo rubbed his chin before the right man popped into his mind. “I’ve got it!”

“Well, who is it?” Himiko leaned a bit toward Gojo to make sure she could hear his answer.

“Ryomen Sukuna!” He clapped his hands together like it was a job well done.

“No, it couldn’t be! Remember it said beloved! That monster couldn’t have had anyone that loved him!” Himiko shook her head and headed for the door so she could do some of her independent research.

Gojo let the door close and let out a huff of laughter. His hand raised for a moment and the next he was transported right outside the temple Himiko had described to him. 

So this is it?

He attempted to walk into it only to feel a light invisible force pushing him back. Pushing through it Gojo traveled further into the temple to get a look for himself. He expected to find a tomb or at the very least some signs of burial but instead, all he found were overgrown vines.

This place has to be over a thousand years old.

He floated around for a moment before he finally made his way into the center of the room. In an instant, his mind was transported to a memory from before even his great-grandfather’s birth.

“Who’s there!” Your hand gripped a stick as you swished it wildly around to find some sense of who had shown up. “I said who is there?”

“You trespassed on my land and you’re questioning me, how pathetic.” 

“It wasn’t like I meant to, I can’t see.” You emphasize your point to this stranger by waving a hand in front of your face.

“So you can’t see this.” A swish wind lightly tapped across your chin as you saw a blob with what you assumed to be a fist slow an inch from your face.

“I can see a mass here.” Your hand closed around his wrist as you gently pushed it away. “But I cannot see a more detailed environment.”

“What do you work as a blind girl?” You could hear the loud crunching of leaves around you as you imagined this man circling you like prey.

“Healer’s assistant. Now if you would let me, I would like to return to my work.” An arm stopped you as you tried to walk in a random direction.

“There’s a river right there.” The deadpan in his voice made you blush in embarrassment.

“Apologies sir but I really must be going.”

“Let me escort you.” 

“I’ve already caused you a great deal of trouble.” Sukuna smiled, this woman amused him greatly.

“I want you off my land, it's not personal.” Instead of responding, you nodded your head in thanks as he guided your hands to his arm.

“What’s your name stranger?” Sukuna’s eyes widened for a moment as he tried to think of one quickly.

“Ryomen.” You waited for another name but he only gave you the one.

“What do you work as, Ryomen?” 

I’m a mass murderer.

“A governor’s assistant.” He saw your eyebrows raise as your face conveyed shock.

“I’ve embarrassed myself in front of the governor’s assistant.” You shook your head as you continued to shrink away in embarrassment.

“One of many.” If only you knew the things I could do.

Sukuna stopped abruptly a little while away from where he knew the nearby medicinal hut to be. He did not want your healer to ruin all the fun he planned to have with you.

“Your hut is just ahead.” He pointed with one of his arms but shook his head when he saw you looking in the completely wrong direction. “Right here.” 

Sukuna’s two hands were placed on your shoulders as he turned you slightly in the direction of the healer’s hut. His breath was hot on your neck as you nodded dumbly at his words.

“Thank you Ryomen.” You bowed to where you assumed he would be and said his thanks before slinking away. 

Gojo was brought back almost instantly and he smirked in amusement. 

I was right.

The next day he entered the first-year class where Nobara and Megumi were chatting about something while Himiko doodled and Itadori slept on his desk.

“Itadori!” His voice was playful. Itadori quickly sat up from the desk with some spit drooling down his face.

“Yes, Gojo-sensei?” 

“Would you come with me?” The smile on his face made Megumi shiver as continued conversing with Nobara and ignored whatever shenanigans Gojo was getting himself into. Itadori nodded and followed Gojo out the door into a seemingly innocuous room. Gojo waited for a moment for the door to securely shut before he cracked his neck and smiled a bit more deviously. 

“Can that demon inside you hear me?”

“I wish I couldn’t!” A mouth sprouted on Itadori’s cheek.

“Good!” Gojo clapped his hands together in excitement. “What can you tell me about that blind girl?”

The mouth disappeared in a flash and Itadori was left standing there rubbing the back of his head.

“Sorry Gojo-sensei, he's telling me to leave.”

“Let him out.” Gojo cracked his knuckles. 

“What?”

“Remember what I told you! I can handle him!” He teleported in front of Itadori to poke his cheek while lifting his leg behind him. Itadori nodded slowly as he concentrated on trying to contact Sukuna.

“No.”

“I didn’t say anything!” Itadori looked up at Sukuna on his throne.

“Satoru Gojo is asking for a tale he does not want to hear.”

“What if you told me and I could just tell him!” Itadori kicked some water around.

“A night I get to explore.” Sukuna placed his hand in his palm.

“No killing or harming anything.” 

“Deal.” The bass in his voice unsettled Itadori.

“Now tell me!”

“Her name was…”

“Makoto-sensei, is this correct?” You tilted your bowl lightly in your hands.

“Stupid girl! You added too much saffron!” The bowl was knocked out of your hands as you felt his hands clasp on your shoulders. His hands pushed you against the countertop as you attempted to push him away.

“I put two spoons in like you asked,” you whispered. He huffed and his hands gripped your shoulders tighter as he took you and launched you towards the door.

“Just go pick some more saffron!” He sighed and rubbed the bridge between his nose and his eyes.

I should be grateful. You whispered the mantra in your head over and over. A blind girl with no family, what were my prospects?

Whilst your mind pondered you wandered once again in the same path you had traversed before to the only known saffron patch nearby. By the same river, you had first met Ryomen, the mysterious government man. You knelt at the patch and began picking it slowly only to stop when you heard bustling the leaves nearby.

“Anyone there?” 

“Just me.” You recognized that drawl, Ryomen.

“I’m sorry, am I in your land again?” You let your head fall as you considered the consequences if you had been trespassing. 

“No, just across from it.” He smirked but it quickly fell when he saw your depressed-looking demeanor. “Are you all right?”

As if I give a damn, he thought.

“Yes, thank you.” Sukuna picked up on your clipped tone. Glancing at the low tide of the river he easily crossed it and stood next to you as you continued to pick saffron.

“What happened?” You flinched at how close he was now. His breath was hot on your ear and you practically felt his expansive ego.

“Nothing.” You got up but he quickly grabbed your upper arm. 

“What happened?” His tone was sharp as he over-enunciated each word.

“Makoto-sensei got mad I messed up a recipe, happy?”

“Very.” The gall of this man.

“Now leave me be.” You yanked your arm back which Sukuna let you do as you marched back to the healing hut you called home.

“If you need a place to stay you know where to go!” You shook your head at his words and walked faster away from him.

“Where have you been?” Makato shoved a bowl into your hands as soon as you stepped through the doors.

Has life always been this mediocre? With Ryomen not making special appearances in your life, your days have become so formulaic, so tedious, and so boring. Get this, mix that, show me your mixture, restart, over and over.

In truth, you did not know until you longer had him that Ryomen added spice to your otherwise boring life. He had ruined your sense of day and now you demanded an excitement that never came. Maybe that was why you found yourself on that same path with a single bag in hand. 

“Finally made your choice?” You flinched as you had always done with his sudden appearance.

“If you’ll have me, Ryomen.” You bowed your head slightly in gratitude.

“Then it’s best you acquaint yourself with who I am.” You stared somewhat confusingly at his blob-like figure as he began walking further down the path.

“I know who you are. You’re Ryomen, you work for the government as a governor’s assistant, and you have a home down the road.”

“Wrong. Uraume can explain it all to you.” With a wave of his hand, you unknowingly arrived at his estate, or maybe palace? “Show her to her room.”

You scrunch your eyebrows in confusion at his tone changing instantly to one of authority and intimidation. 

“Follow me.”

“Who are you?”

“That is not important right now.” Someone grasped your hand and began pulling you into a new building with a cold floor. You hissed at the sudden change in ground temperature but still followed diligently to the person holding your wrist. “Here, Lord Sukuna will visit you soon.”

Lord Sukuna? Where do I remember that name?

“Listen, girl, there are cursed spirits everywhere. Most you can handle by simply running or avoidance but there are a few you must never even come near.” 

“Why?” A younger you let your head hang as you kneeled on the ground and tried to use your hands to grind up some spice.

“Because they’ll kill you with no remorse.”

“Do we know who any of them are?” Your face screwed up in concentration as you tried your best to grind the stone tool harder into the bowl.

“Only one you should be worried about. Ryomen Sukuna.” Makato adjusted your grip on the stone tool.

“Su-ku-na.” You tested the name on your tongue

“Quiet girl you might summon him.” He lightly slapped your hand.

“Sorry.”

Fuck. 

Just as you made the realization you rushed to the door it was locked. You yanked and banged on the door only to collapse against it in frustration. 

“Please, please.” Your sobs quieted down as you tried thinking of more escape plans. The window? No, I could break an ankle. Hide? No. The long game? Who knows how many days I have?

“What are you thinking about?” You stilled at the sound of that voice, you were sure he teleported.

“Yo- You’re a monster!” 

“Am I?” The lilt in his tone lets you know quickly how much he enjoyed your sobbing.

“You’re enjoying this?” You stepped forward to his figure, illuminated by the window. “You take pleasure in my sadness? What does that say about how pathetic you are?”

“Choose your next words wisely.” His figure got closer as you continued with your tone.

“What kind of man are you?” Your chest made contact with his as you tilted your head upward and glared.

“I’m not a man, according to you I’m a monster.” He leered at you.

“I want to leave.” Your tone was firm despite the reality that your whole body was shaking.

“Scared are you?”

“Never.” You huffed and he laughed at your determined face.

“Accept your fate, they all do eventually.” He moved to leave out of the room door.

“So I’m just another girl. Just another thing for you to toy with then?” You yelled still staring at where he once stood.

“Yes.” The door slammed abruptly leaving you alone. Truthfully, had you been a tad smarter maybe this whole ordeal could have been avoided but your imaginative mind inhibited that.

“Then what happened?” Itadori had now sat cross-legged, enraptured by the tale like it was a soap opera.

“I grow tired, go tell that Gojo.” With a wave of his hand, Itadori traveled back to the present when not a single second had passed.

“Well?” Gojo leaned closer in anticipation and listened intently to Itadori’s recount. “Then what?”

“I don’t know. He kicked me out before he could continue.” Itadori rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment.

“No worries, I know just where to get the perfect information!” Gojo disappeared the next moment leaving Itadori to continue with his day.

“Hey, what did Gojo-sensei want to talk to you about?” Himiko paused in her sketching to look up at Itadori entering the classroom.

“Not a word.” Sukuna’s voice growled in his mind.

“Nothing to worry about.” He tried his best to play off the lie but Himiko saw straight through it.

“Does it have anything to do with Sukuna?” Megumi and Nobara ceased talking as they turned toward the other two in the room.

“N-No.” 

“You’re a horrible liar.” Megumi stared with a deadpan over at Itadori. 

“I can’t say.” Itadori avoided eye contact with everyone.

“Why can’t you-” Himiko grabbed his wrist only to be transported to another realm.

She looked around dazed at the bones and flesh that lined the domain. She shuddered for a moment before spotting a lone man with strange markings on his face sitting on a mound of bones.

“Where am I?” The man laughed and instantly Himiko knew where she was.

Sukuna’s domain.

“You are fast. Say what’s your name mortal?”

“Like I’d tell you.” The snark in the voice reminded him of something similar he heard eons ago.

“I can kill you where you stand.”

“Himiko.” She huffed and moved to observe more of the domain with caution.

“Surname?” 

“L/N.” 

Would you look at that? Sukuna smirked at the fates playing a strange game with him.

“I knew a woman long ago with that same name. Just like you, same attitude.” His mind unconsciously went back to the past.

“I’m not wearing that!” Your deft hands glided over the fine silk before pushing it away.

“Lord Sukuna insisted!” The servant pushed it directly onto you until you were forced to hold it.

“It’s too expensive! I’ll just wear my clothes!” You dropped the silk garment to the ground and rushed away from where you assumed the servant was.

“Please!” The desperation in the servant’s voice made you sigh.

“Could you help me put it on?”

“Yes, thank you.” After a few moments, the new clothes were on and they felt soft against your skin, softer than anything you had otherwise experienced before. You felt the servant’s hands glide over your face applying and messing with your hair and face. Subconsciously you began to fidget with your own hands and felt their coarseness of them. It felt as though you were very being, what you had been raised to do was at odds with where you were now. “You are ready now.”

Those same hands lifted you from where you were pushed to be seated and brought you directly into another room. This room was significantly colder and from what you make out with your eyes it was yellow.

Gold. 

You walked over to the yellow failing to see the many people already in the room and ran your hands around it. It was colder than the atmosphere of the room and anywhere you slid your hand the coldness remained.

“Entertained?” You stiffened at Sukuna’s voice.

“This entire room is filled with..gold.” You paused in awe as you looked left and right and saw immense blobs of yellow everywhere. 

“And here I thought you were blind.” 

“Only partially. I can still see colors and figures faintly.” You continued to trace your hand on the gold, in awe.

“Leave.” You halted and tried to move toward where you were previously only for an arm to stop you. “Not you.” 

How does he move like that?

After some shuffling the doors closed with a bang leaving you alone in his ornate room alone with a mass murderer. 

“You know I thought it would be harder to break you but it seems you’re just like the rest.” A hand grazed your cheek and you flinched away in shock.

“I want to go home.” There was no response, the tan-colored blotch blocking everything from your vision moved to somewhere unknown. “I serve no purpose here. I just need to go home.”

“You have no home. Your family abandoned you, don’t you remember? That’s why you stay with that healer.”

“He was nicer than you at least.” You spat in rage at the memory of your family dropping you off at Makato’s house.

“Not likely.” A strand of your hair fell from the bun it was placed in and fell on your forehead. It tickled but when you tried to move it a hand grazed your ear and pulled it back.

“You’ve killed people.”

“This again.” You felt a large huff on your neck before some loud steps back toward the center of the room. “Where was this sentiment after I died?”

“What?” That’s wrong, he’s a cursed spirit. “You’re a spirit.” Your hand pointed in front of you to where you assumed he was. “You were born from hatred.”

“I was reborn into a spirit.” Sukuna laughed gravely as he remembered his past life. 

“Did you choose this?” Your curiosity overpowered your fear.

“Would it horrify you if I said yes?” Sukuna walked over to you, he wondered for a moment if you had seen his true form. “I chose a life with four arms and two faces, where I would be persecuted for simply being by the same people who killed me the first time.”

“You want revenge? Why? Why would you want revenge when you could be at rest in the afterlife?” The adrenaline coursing through your veins felt like fire now as you heard your heart beating in your ears.

“And let them bask in the glory of my death? Never.” Sukuna reached out and grasped your chin firmly, jutting it upward. Your heartbeat quickened in that instant.

“You truly are pathetic then.” A smirk graced your face as he looked down, quizzically, at your smug face. 

“You are stupid.” He let go of your chin harshly. “I could kill you, I could rip you apart limb from limb.” 

There was a long pause that left you reeling in the shock that any moment he could relieve your body of your head. Ryomen Sukuna is the most dangerous cursed spirit out there, he kills entire clans for sport. Tales of his conquests are spread through Japan as people fear the very thought of him being in the vicinity. He is known to have a short temper and an even shorter attention span.

So why hasn’t he killed me?

“But you haven’t.” There was a determined look on your face as his footsteps halted.

“I haven’t.” Sukuna turned back around and stared at you for a long moment. 

What was different about you? What is it?

He has shown you mercy he never has shown to anyone else. So what was different?

“Ryomen you have to get up!”

The soft sound of his mother’s voice made him wince at that very moment. It pained him to even think about her, to think how it all came to an end just like the rest of his family. Their screams haunted him like a shadow always looming over him. In his state, he had failed to hear the soft footsteps you made as you walked over to him.

“Give me your hand.” The command was soft and he looked down in semi-shock at your tone. He obliged almost instantly, wondering what exactly you were going to do. In the next moment, he watched as you traced some hard indentation in his hands, going back and forth, humming a nursery rhyme quietly.

“Where’d you learn that?”

“Believe it or not Makato was not always single, he had a wife. They couldn’t have children so they accepted me. She used to sing it to me all the time when I was scared.”

“She died?” You laughed a little at his bluntness.

“Yes, she was executed after helping an outlawed sorcerer I believe. I don’t know the details. What was your other life like?” Sukuna laughed as he recalled his horrid memories of being a human.

“My family was peasants, we were farmers but we were happy.” He paused. “Sorcerers killed them after I went rogue.”

“Oh.” The tracing ceased.

“Does that change your opinion of me?” He leered at you with a smirk.

“You’re just a man with a complicated past.” You gripped his hand a little tighter.

“I guess I am.” Ryomen Sukuna smiled down at you.

“Can I go back now?”

“Promise me one thing. Show the kid your lineage.” Sukuna smirked from his throne.

“Ok.” Himiko nodded dumbly, failing to make the connection to his earlier statement. In the next moment, she was transported back to the present where she dropped Itaodri’s arm.

“Are you ok?” Itadori waved his hand in front of your face multiple times.

“Yes, I’m fine. I just need to show you something.” Himiko jerked her head towards the door, careful not to directly touch Itadori again. They both rushed from the room, leaving Megumi and Nobara, to head to the dorms. 

“Why are we here?” 

“That demon thing inside you asked me to show you something all right?”

“And you’re listening to him!” Itadori yelled, exasperated. Himiko shook her head and continued with little to no care over his antics.

“Just look at this.” She unfurled her patrilineal lineage chart which featured hosts of talented sorcerers alike for centuries. Waiting for a moment she watched as Itadori’s eyes flitted all around the map till they stopped at the very top, the origin.

“Who’s that?” Itadori pointed with his index at the couple at the very top.

“My ancestors, Himiko L/N whom I was named after, and her husband.”

Sukuna laughed cruelly at the tapestry, weathered and worn over time. He tried to reason that the names on there were fake, muddled, or something there other. No matter the multitude of tries he made, this simply made no sense to him. Leaving the great Ryomen Sukuna with a simple,

“Well, I’ll be damned.”

“You annoy me, you know that?” You slapped Sukuna's hand away again as you continued to try and observe nature. Your head lent back against the wall of the estate and your ears on the prowl for the sounds of nature, you so desire to hear if not for the man next to you.

“That’s the intention.” Once more one of his hands caressed your cheek but this time you did not push him away. You learned your face into his hold, his palm was calloused like yours from years of labor.

“Lord Sukuna, there is another Lord to see you here today.” He turned to see a very frightened servant standing there with her eyes looking down. 

“His name?”

“Lord L/N.” You perked at the mention of your last name while Sukuna whizzed back around to look back at you. 

“You know him?” His hand fell from your face.

“My father.” You huffed and threw the shawl you had on you on the ground.

“Should I kill him?” Sukuna teased, though there was a slight tone of truth in his voice.

“No, do as you normally would.” You sighed and pushed some hairs aside.

“That’s for me to decide.” Sukuna began to retreat into the estate when you called after him.

“Promise me!” He turned. “Vow to me you won’t kill him.”

“Fine.” Sukuna bristled and made his way into the stone hallway, glaring at nearly anyone who dared make eye contact with him. It had been a few months since the incident in the throne room and it was becoming more noticeable the hold you had over him. Word had gotten over the land of a seemingly innocuous girl taming the Lord Sukuna.

How wrong they are.

“Lord Sukuna.” The delegates bowed to him as well as nearly anyone in the room out of sheer respect. Sukuna wondered for a moment if he could even make the Emperor of Japan bow to him.

“Why have you come?”

“We wish to discuss the matter of marriage with you.” One of the men nearly half his height approached. Sukuna huffed in laughter but seeing as how they looked serious he then began to double over in laughter.

As soon as Sukuna left you raced to a hiding spot you discovered near the top of the throne room. You held a hand behind your palm at the ridiculous proclamation, trying to prevent laughter. When the hilariousness of the situation subsided you dropped your hand into the other, subconsciously rubbing the ring finger.

What would I look like married? Bonded to another being? 

For a moment you tried imaging your wedding day, clad in all your bridal garb. No family behind you but interlocking hands with your husband nonetheless. You would never marry a proud man or a man who thinks himself to be above labor. A man with coarse hands. Your mind recalled that singular moment just minutes ago with Sukuna, with one of his hands caressing your face. Captured in that very same reverie you had not noticed a commotion down below until a loud screech echoed off the gold walls. 

“Leave before it’s more of you that perish.” The deadly tone in Sukuna’s voice made you shiver. 

I should be used to it by now but I don’t think anyone could be used to him.

“Your time will come, Ryomen Sukuna!” You recognize that man’s voice, it sounds like your father-

“I made a vow to never kill you.” Sukuna held him by the neck, from your vantage point you could only hear his choking sounds. “But I never said someone else couldn’t.”

There was a loud bang as your father fell to the ground in a heap, covered by all of his ceremonial clothing. Uraume quickly took a knife and plunged into your father’s heart as he screamed for help. He looked up for a God but only found you sitting helplessly on the balcony, it took him a moment to make the connection as he bled out. 

“Help me, child!” Your eyes widened at his call towards you but you did not stir even a bit. 

This was his karma, you thought sardonically. Dying at the feet of a cursed being looking up at the child he abandoned. 

“What are you doing here?” A hand yanked you upward towards where the door to the balcony was. The voice of Sukuna was easy to place but his tone had changed drastically from before.

“What did you do? You vowed to me!” You pushed at his chest, and as expected he did not move an inch.

“I didn’t kill him!” He growled directly at you, bringing your faces closer together.

“You let someone else do your dirty work!” You pushed off of him and turned away, not walking away just yet.

“I found a loophole.” Sukuna was as playful as ever.

“Just go.” Your voice was weak as you let your head fall into your palms. After a few moments you heard no loud stomps or scuffles away so you yelled again. “Go!”

Sukuna looked at you momentarily and finally understood the feeling in his chest, the feeling that after so many decades of living was so foreign to him. It was not admiration or even kindness, no it was love. He loved you.

“No.” He defaulted into his usual arrogance because he simply did not know what else to respond with. 

“Listen to me for once and go!” You were screeching now.

“No, I’m not leaving.” Sukuna stepped forward with a face of humility and reached his hand forward to you. Instead of brushing him off just as he had foreseen, you leaned into his touch as you had done before. There was a silence between you that was comfortable enough but it was quickly broken by your sobbing.

“I want to give myself to you but I can’t. I can’t give myself to a spineless man.”

He was stunned into silence.

“What? What is it?” Itadori said out loud.

“Did he say something?” Himiko loosened the map and stepped closer to Itadori. 

“Nothing.”

“Tell her to grab your arm.” Sukuna had a trick up his sleeve.

“I’m not telling her to do that!” Itadori again failed to say it subconsciously and yelled it out loud.

“Come on, tell me!” Himiko pushed his shoulder but as soon as her hand made contact with his shoulder she was brought back to a familiar domain. 

“Good you’re back.” Sukuna expertly descended from his throne towards Himiko who took a fighting stance. “If I wanted to kill you I would have done it already.”

“Then why am I here?” She growled and still had her fists raised.

“I made a vow.” In the next moment, he moved and caught her forearm bringing her into a foreign memory, one from hundreds of years ago.

It was early in the morning when you were sitting by the estate near a stream of water you heard a branch break nearby. This was especially strange as those who ever got within the vicinity of Sukuna’s estate were already handled before they got this close.

“Who's there?” You held a branch ready to strike whomever.

“Help,” You lowered the branch only to raise it again when something ran up and clutched your legs. Only it did not bite or attack you; instead, the creature rubbed its face into your silk garb.

“Who are you?”

“I’m lost, I don't know where I am.” The terrified voice of a young boy had made you drop the stick and yell for help. Quickly some servants came to help the boy and you cleaned up from the excursion.

“Let’s get you up to my room.” The walk was slow as you tried to maintain the boy’s pace though it was slow and fatiguing. You could hear the servants whispering about his condition, praying he was deaf to it all.

“Where’s your family?” You grabbed his hand to try and warm him up.

“They left.”

“Well maybe we can get you back to them, how does that sound?” 

“They told me to stay behind because I didn’t have cursed energy.” You loosened the grip on his hand and began tracing circles as the heritage of this boy dawned upon you.

“What’s your name?”

“G-Gojo.” Your eyes widened as you stopped tracing circles in his hand. the servants around you paused as well as they all stared at the small boy. Just as you were about to tell them to remain here one ran out into the hall, you tried to stop her but to no avail.

“Hide the boy.” You heard no movement from anyone in the room. “He will kill that boy, we have to hide him.”

“He’ll kill us if we hide him, my lady.” 

“Then give him to me,” You rushed out already trying to formulate an escape plan. No one moved to help you but Gojo did run toward you and away from everyone in the room. “Come on, we have to go.”

“What’s going to happen?” Gojo muttered while trying to put back on his rotted shoes.

“Nothing,” You whispered. The walk outside the room was tense as you tugged on Gojo’s hand to try and get him to keep up. He stumbled slightly but made no complaint towards you as you tried to recall the path out.

“You would betray me?” You halted at the voice, afraid they may very well kill both of you where you stand.

“Stay behind me.” You pushed the young boy behind your legs as you turned towards Sukuna. 

“You would betray me for a sorcerer? A Gojo?”

“He’s just a boy!” You backed up a step with Gojo moving in sync behind you. “They left him behind because he doesn’t have any cursed energy. He’s normal, not a sorcerer.”

You stumbled over your words throughout speaking and kept clutching Gojo’s hands tighter till you were sure you might have cut off his circulation. You trembled in fright for the first time in a long time before Sukuna, afraid of the possibility of the death of this boy.

“That doesn’t change anything.”

“You already killed my father, don't take him from me!” His stomps halted and you were crying again now. 

“You forgave me then you can do it again.” In an instant, you were launched forward as you heard a gut-wrenching scream behind you. You rushed to get back to where you previously were but when your hands reached the floor you felt something sticky. Holding it up to your eyes you saw red splotches where your hands should be.

“No! No!” You rushed forward not caring how the blood on the ground tainted the clothes on your body or the skin on your limbs. Sukuna dropped his body once he could feel the last beat of his heart sound in his premature chest. There was a thought that if he did regret his actions but the answer remained the same; given the chance, any sorcerer would have killed him.

“It’s done.” He tried to pull you from the ground and the young Gojo’s body but you hit him off. 

“You’re a monster. I curse you,” You ground out as you tried desperately to process the scared boy you knew moments ago passed into the afterlife.

“I am already cursed.” This time he did not care for your petulant slaps and hoisted you up, dragging you to where your chambers were. 

There was a certain numbness that settled into you, like a cannon through the chest. In your mind, it hurts to even think so you simply lay there staring straight ahead. The noises you cherished previously fell into the background as you tried to remind yourself why you came here in the first place.

Coming here was my choice, I wanted this. So why do I want to leave so badly? Why do I want to run as far as I can?

The answer was easy to any outsider; the man who enticed you into coming was no longer there. There was never a soft side to Sukuna even though you tried to see it and capture it in your mind. No matter how many days he would sit with you, entertaining you, kissing you, it never counteracted the evil he would commit. It was only now that you saw it in front of your own eyes. 

No one came into your rooms even after days passed, or maybe it was only hours? It was always so quiet, which was something you used to detest but now it comforted you. You tried to sleep but even that was becoming difficult so you opted to just sit by the window. 

The sun was always so nice during this time.

“Thank you for trying.” You heard a voice you had never heard before. A hand on your shoulder alerted you that he was not of this estate but foreign. “But you are a weakness to be exploited.”

“Humor me, what’s your name?” You croaked out, voice still hoarse from lack of use.

“Michizane Sugawara.”

“Interesting name.” This was the end, he was death incarnate, you understood that now. “Would you hold my hand?”

His hand was warm and soft, nothing like Sukuna’s but you closed your eyes and despite great efforts, you imagined it to be the King of Spirits. You imagined it was him holding you this close as you died. For a moment all the questions of where Sukuna was clouded your mind but it was too late. It was instantaneous as duality took hold.

“An eye for an eye,” Sugawara whispered, your blood coating his hand.

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