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katana-zero · 3 months

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TUMBLR USER GAMMANULLZERO I LOVE YOU

Hold on let me try to answer to all of your tags dkdmmfmmc I woke up this morning and it was the first thing I saw AAHHH

Also sorry english is not my first language so I might struggle with some sentences!! (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

I'M GLAD THAT THIS PIC CAPTURED HER WELL 🥹🥹🥹 I wanted to draw something chill because!!! Well!!! She is chill!!

TY I love when people like my coloring (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠)

I LOVE YOUR MIND

I think actually he would feel trouble feeling anything. He'd probably regret killing kids if he ever done that (because of LG) but otherwise I think he wouldn't feel anything. At first I thought that he'd feel alive, since canonically he feels alive only when taking someone else's life, but I'm not sure he'd feel anything just watching the record.

Or he'd feel the stinging feeling of regret, if church monologue is actually his (I have a theory that it's actually Fifteen's thoughts, but I'm not really sure so!! Just a fun thought) and he felt bad watching all those people cry.

Or he'd feel everything at once like one big complicated feeling (⁠*⁠﹏⁠*⁠;⁠) I don't know how to describe it.

THANK YOU!!! 🥹🥹🥹

I love SnowHunter SO MUCH my favourite lesbians. They have me in chokehold since I first thought about them I just. Need more of them in my life.

I think Snow uses something similar to chronos! Like that green thing Psych used in boss fight. He mentioned that the government created more than just one drug for war, so it's safe to assume that she will most likely use something similar. Or it might be something that organization Snow works for created, since they somehow recreated chronos. I hope we'll see what she uses in the dlc 🙏

I LOVE USING RED THANK YOU SM

🥹 jsjxjjsk Zero and Fifteen cuddling Leviathan and Behemoth... The eepies

Fifteen stop being mad just hug a biblical creation bro chill out

:3 I love drawing Zero with a scruff, I'm glad someone else likes it too!

Fifteen katana zero I need you Fifteen katana zero

AHHH I'M SO HAPPY YOU NOTICED THE EFFECT!! I like drawing it on my artworks with nulls because it shows how their time is running out yk yk (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧ mentally ill guys

THANK YOU AGAIN FOR ALL THE FEEDBACK I LOVE YOUUU AGHHHHHH

YAYYYYYY IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE ALL OF THESE!!! I GOT A FEW THINGS TO SAY BACK

ykw ykw. i think he'd feel so much about everything that he'd just go numb. his normal blank expression on his face but somehow even more unreadable than normal. idk if he'd be able to feel anything after that. him feeling "alive" while killing is just him feeling like he's actually having an effect on the world around him yk? that's how he was raised, a child soldier. but losing your memories of that and then running with the mindset that only the lives of criminals and corrupt police deserve less value only to see yourself killing children? beings that physically cannot have less value because they have so much more life ahead of them? brooooo brooooooooo he's done for he's donneeee. I really like the theory that the monologue is from fif instead of zero too- and it makes sense! fifteen has such strong connections to his past that of course he'd have such strong thoughts about what it was like. zero for sure could say it himself but he's so warped about whats real and not that i dont think he could form that strong of an opinion (and if it IS his thoughts then its just what psych planted in his head)

SPEAKING OF PSYCH im pretty sure the green mega chronos or whatever the psych uses was confirmed to be not actually canon and (speculation from here) just a hallucination from zero's end considering the path to getting that boss is just by pissing him off. BUT but but i do think her amping herself up on the fake chronos that the company is making is soooo real. i hope we see in the dlc god ugh. either way i definitely gotta draw some snowhunter myself since i havent stopped thinking about it.

anyway YEAHHHHH RUNNING OUT OF TIMEEEEEEE. i loveeee how subtle it is in your art but also directly staring you in the face. youre soooo good at it !!!!!

#gotta make you your own tag at this point omg #myafu

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queenofbaws · 8 months

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for the writer asks tee hee 3, 10, andddd 16 :P

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

picture this, if you will:

i wake up. i am groggy for roughly three business days. i slam an energy drink such that i do not taste it. i do a little bit of light reading while waiting for the energy drink to take hold, then i take my WONDERFUL daily antibiotic for my WONDERFUL lyme disease that definitely doesn't make my insides feel like a battleground, then, once i feel those first tingles of artificial energy pumpin through my veins, i crack open my writing docs and see where the spirit moves me that day

i should note this ritual does not always take, but when it does, often i am lost in a writing trance that lasts several hours and ends only once my attention breaks and i realize how very, very hungry i am 😔

i think why it's cursed should be.......self-evident lmaoooooooooo

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

weARY SIGH. yeah. yeahhhhh if we're going to talk about hauntings, we may as well. i am deeply, deeply haunted by my silent hill 2 fic, soft reset, that's been gathering dust since...about 2015 lol. it's about half-finished, and i want to finish it someday, really i do, but um, as it turns out...for anyone who hasn't played sh2, a really, really key part of the plot itself revolves around serious illness and the horror that surrounds, like...not just the person who is sick having to suffer, but also their family and loved ones being impacted by it, and UNFORTUNATELY for that fic, i started posting it riiiight as i was coming off taking care of a sick family member...aaaaaand right as i myself became sick, so. it's sort of. stuck in limbo right now. i still love it, i still really, really want to finish it, and i have SO MUCH written for it just sitting on my computer, but...idk man, it's been hard to think about going back to since it's...too relevant to stuff i'm dealing with atm, if that makes sense

maybe when that sh2 remaster/remake comes out for ps5, though. mayyyyyybe. we will see.

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

aw man, i don't know how CURSED it is, but since i mostly dog-ear books to keep my place, really the only memory of an out-of-the-ordinary bookmark i use/have used is, uh...i can't remember when or why this habit started, but i...only use paperclips as bookmarks while reading house of leaves??? it's just like. that is my house of leaves bookmark, a paperclip, and idk it's just always been that way XD

weird writing asks for weird writers!

#mechromanced #asks #tee hee thank YOU for the ask! :P

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lostacelonnie · 1 year

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Oooh prepare to have fun & also feed me your thoughts as you go im excited for you to have that journey. Oooh no worries i totally understand i was at my parents for the holiday & the sensory issues were real. The manga is really good fujimoto, the author, has a really nice bit of gritty style that works so well for the series that i wish had been in the show too. That said chainsaw man is still gorgeous & a good show as well. Sure aint no rush for that one end of eva is well. Very somethin. I have many emotions about that final episode & the series so far as a whole. How much anya inspired damian to actually talk to his dad, how loid talked about damian to his dad & like the love you can hear in his voice for anya and yor too in earlier episodes, how good of an adaptation of the source it is & also like. Where they end off im super excited for s2. Thank you for explaining the sernik is cheesecake so that i can agree with you as a fellow cheesecake enjoyer. Should absolutely be s tier. I have 0 idea what happens in the story except from random spoilers that make 0 sense. I just wanna see more of them main 3 gals & meet other characters. I also have 0 new years plans so ill probably also be watching stuff by myself that night

ok first of all HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! i ended up being dragged to a party by my mom and i had to hang out with transphobic ableist da boyz half the evening so kinda cringe fail. i might actually start it soon bc motivation spike!!! cant wait ngl. yeahhhh what is it with holidays and sensory issues...... and yeah that sounds v nice actually!! the show does look very pretty but idk it just wasnt for me ig. yaa i heard a lot of. Things. ab the end of eva but im still kinda looking forward to seeing it. AND YEAHHHHH I AGREE SM OUUGHGHHG. SOOSOSOSOSO EXCITED FOR S2 AS WELL. and no problem!! cheesecake my beloved. its my mission to make ppl acknowledge polands existence. and once again good luck!! i hope the spoilers were ooc enough that they arent gonna be a big issue when u head back. and what did u end up doing on nye :o?

#asks #pen pals

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crunchie-morris · 5 years

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Congratulations on your surgery! Can I request Albert and Crutchie being Bros in a grocery store or something? Thank you!

Thank you!!

I’m honestly not very happy with this but it’s the best I could do on post-surgery brain? It’s kinda boring and has no real ending but I’m gonna cut myself some slack for being tired and just post this unedited mess. Enjoy??

•••

Jack: we’re still on for that party at my place tonight?

Race: heck yeahhhhh

Crutchie: !!!!!!!

Albert:

Davey: I can only be the designated driver for people on my way home. Les has baseball practice at 10 tomorrow morning so I can’t be out until 2.

Jack: dw dave, kath said she’s got the folks on her side of town

Davey: Thank goodness.

Jack: alright so im hosting, davey and katherine are driving, romeo is dj-ing and race is on snacks?

Race:...

Jack: race. you didnt.

Race: i was on drinks

Jack: snacks and drinks are a joint deal dude

Race: you just said drinks!

Jack: racer i got screenshots

Albert: dont get your panties in a bunch, i can hit the grocery store after my last class

Crutchie: your last class is psych right?

Albert: yee

Crutchie: my last class is right next door! I can tag along if you want?

Albert: y e a h backwards hat bros on snacks

Race: ill pay you guys back uwu

Jack: you guys rock

Jack: unlike race

Race: i will throttle you

Jack: you cant just say uwu in my gc and then threaten to throttle /me/

•••

“Alright, we’re gonna do this our usual way, right?” Albert asked as they walked in.

“Me in the cart, you run as fast as you can while pushing the cart, and I grab stuff off the shelves?”

Albert grinned and pulled out a cart. “We got this.”

“I dunno why Jack doesn’t just have us get snacks every time,” Crutchie said, climbing into the basket of the cart with the kind of ease that can only come with experience. “I mean, I know we got the whole rotating system for end-of-quarter parties, but most of our friends are unreliable and Davey ends up offering to drive folks on his way half the time anyway. Some positions are best left permanent.”

“So true, Crutchers,” Albert shook his head. “Jack doesn’t recognize genius when he sees it. Let’s go!”

Albert raced down aisle one. “This looks like it’s just produce!”

“Skip it!” Crutchie called as Albert did just that. “Skip the frozen section too!”

“We need chiiiiiiiips!” Albert exclaimed, sprinting towards aisle seven. When they reached it, he skidded to a stop, leaving small tire marks on the tile. “Okay. What kinda chips?”

“I want cool ranch Doritos,” Crutchie said as he took two bags of them from the shelf. “Specs is gonna want plain Lays, and you want-“

“Barbecue, baby.” Albert finished as he jumped to reach the second-to-top shelf, grabbing the barbecue chips and tossing them in the basket.

“You’re gonna have barbecue crumbs if you keep throwing ‘em like that,” Crutchie laughed. “This is why we leave the grabbing-of-food to me.”

“Oh, like you didn’t hear the crunch when you grabbed the Doritos.” Albert retorted. “What else do we need?”

“Soda’s on the next aisle,” Crutchie said. “I don’t trust that Race got much more than beer and maybe punch.”

“That’s a big maybe,” Albert snickered. “Let’s go!”

They sped to the next aisle, both of their faces falling when they saw all the two liters on the top shelf. “Where’s Race’s gangly legs when you need ‘em?” Albert whined.

“I could knock them down with one of my crutches,” Crutchie said, tapping one of the crutches that rested in his lap. “But you probably wouldn’t wanna open them any time soon.”

Albert waved his hand. “Ah, let’s just get the packs of little bottles. They can’t be that much more. Even if they are, it’s Race’s money.”

Crutchie laughed, grabbing two six-packs if Coke, Pepsi, and Sprite each. “You’re so mean to him.”

“Only ‘cause I love him,” Albert grinned. “I’m just being a good best friend and teaching him responsibility.”

“Says the one who totally studied for his psych test last period.” Crutchie teased.

“Shaddup.” Albert flicked the back - technically the front - of Crutchie’s snapback lightly, which spun it sideways.

“Hey, you’re throwing off our brand,” Crutchie turned his hat back around. “I can’t be sideways.”

“Sorry. What do we need next?”

Crutchie thought for a moment. “We should probably get water too, and then stuff like napkins, plates, cups, the works.”

“Let’s work the works.” Albert grinned.

They zoomed up and down the rest of the aisles of the store, being sure to at least glance at every aisle to make sure they didn’t miss any essentials. When they were sure they’d grabbed everything, they got in line for checkout.

“You’ve got to be the only guest I’ve seen sitting in the cart that’s older than double digits.”

Both Albert and Crutchie grinned at the familiar voice that came from behind the counter. “It’s essential to our snack-shopping technique, Smalls,” Crutchie replied, setting the snacks on the conveyor belt. “Since when did you work here?”

“Since I barely scraped together January’s rent,” Smalls smirked. “Girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.”

“Good for you,” Albert replied. “When rent rolls around, I just panic and fall into more debt.”

“You’re a mess,” Crutchie shook his head and turned his attention back to Smalls. “You coming tonight?”

“Oh, it’s your end-of-quarter party, huh?” Smalls grinned. “I always forget, I’m on a different schedule than you guys at my school. I wasn’t planning on it, but my shift’s over in 15. If you stick around, could I snag a ride with you guys?”

“Of course,” Albert replied. “Anything for a backwards-hat bro.”

Smalls rolled her eyes fondly. “You two almost make me want to wear it forward.”

#hnggggggg maybe i can write better tomorrow oops #newsies #newsies fanfiction #my writing

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sweetpealover77 · 6 years

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Ghost Of You • Part 4

Sweet Pea Fic 🐍

Summary: when Julia left Sweet Pea didn’t know what to do anymore. Would she ever come back to him?

Word count:1404

Julia's POV

I jumped on my bike and headed towards Toni's house.

As I rode I couldn't stop the tears from falling out of my eyes.

Did Sweet Pea really want to get back at me that bad. I know i hurt him but did i deserve to be treated like that?

I thought to myself,

I pulled my hand up for a second to wipe my eyes clear so I could see the road better as I did my bike swerved into the other lane. I tried to control my bike the best i could but another car going the opposite way of me collided right into my bike and I.

Everything went black.

Sweet Pea's POV

"I messed up, i really fucking messed up Fangs." I ran my fingers through my hair pacing back and forth in my trailer.

"Dude you need to calm down, I think you should just go sleep it off. Yeah Julia's pissed at you but you're not in the right mindset to even TRY to go and fix this." he stood up and patted me on my shoulder.

"You're right." I sighed

"Ill sleep on the sofa, just in case you try to do something stupid." Fangs laughed and i walked towards my bedroom laughing with him.

I took my shirt off and threw on a pair of my Riverdale high sweat pants, one of Julia's favorites. I couldn't stop thinking about how i treated her. Yes she hurt me but I love her, I never want anything bad to happen to her. Ever.

I couldnt stop thinking about Julia all night, I tossed and turned but sadly I hardly got any sleep.

"Sweet Pea, come on im hungry and you have no food in your house." I rolled over to see Fangs standing in my doorway. "Ugh, lets go to Pops" I got up throwing on a pair of jeans a flannel and my jacket.

I pulled out my phone before leaving my room sending a message to Julia

To JJ:

please come home soon. I am so sorry about last night.

Send.

I walked out of my room and heard a ding come from Julia's room. I ran to her room thinking she was there but sadly she wasn't.

"She literally left all of her things here. ID, Money, phone, Jacket" I walked outside talking to Fangs

"I really made her upset last night." I shook my head

"Hey its okay, she went to see the girls last night she probably just needed space to cool down. Its okay." We hopped on our bikes and headed to Pops

We walked into pops and I saw Toni and Cheryl sitting together

"Hey, where's Julia?" I asked them taking a seat next to Toni

"What do you mean? She went home last night after you made out with Nina, remember?" Toni rolled her eyes at me.

"Yeahhhhh and then we got into a big fight because i brought Nina home and then she left all of her shit including her phone at home and said she was going to spend the night at your house" I said a little mad

Toni looked at me a little worried

"Sweet Pea, she never came to out house." she looked at Cheryl who also looked worried

"Okay, okay guys maybe shes downstairs." Fangs said

We all headed down to the basement of Pop's

"Fp!" Toni yelled and he turned towards us

"whats wrong?"

"Did Julia come here last night or this morning. Have you seen her at all" I asked him getting worried

"No, sorry guys. Why is something wrong?" He put his hand on my shoulder.

"We got into a fight last night but never made it to Toni's house and never came home this morning." My voice cracked a little bit

"Okay, ill call Jughead. Maybe she went to him." He walked away pulling his phone to his ear

A few minutes later Fp came back shaking his head

"He hasn't heard from her, Im sorry you guys. Just give her until tonight and if she doesnt show up we will go find her." Fp looked at the four of us and we all nodded

"I don't know guys, Julia seemed to really like being here, do you think she would just leave over a small fight?" Cheryl said as we walked into my trailer

"Not without her jacket. She would never leave without her Jacket." I shook my head holding her jacket in my hands.

"Something just doesn't feel right you guys. I dont know what it is but something is telling me she isnt okay."

Julia's POV

I woke up to loud noises and flashing lights around me. I Stood up.

"What the hell." I walked over to a group of paramedics surrounding a body

"What happened! Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked them as I approached them

No answer.

"Seriously guys if you nee-" I stopped what I was saying after i saw who they were working on.

Me.

"Jane Doe, Female, approximately 18-20 years. She was hit by a car while riding a motorcycle head on. Unresponsive."

The paramedics said as they wheeled my body into the hospital. I ran behind them trying to keep up.

"What are you talking about im right here! Im fine!!" I waved my hands in front of their faces and still no one could see me or hear me.

"we have to get her up to CT and she had a bleed in her stomach we are going to have to operate." The doctors moved out of the way and i could finally see my whole face.

I didn't even look like me. My face was swollen and bruised. I turned around and looked in the mirror.

"There i am. I am fine. That girl on the table isn't you." I said feeling my face

I followed them up to CT and they rushed me right into surgery . I had a bleed in my brain.

I ran behind them as they ran towards the operating room but i suddenly stopped as soon as i got to the door. I couldn't go in there to make sure i was going to be okay. The doors shut in front of me leaving me to look through a small window as they cut my head and stomach open.

I waited in the waiting room for what seemed like forever.

No one noticed me, i asked the nursed a million questions but she still couldn't see or hear me.

I finally saw the Doctors wheel me into a room

"What do you think Doc? Is she going to make it." One of the nurses asked the Doctor

"I just hope we find this poor girls family because things arent looking great. With how bad the bleed was and how she cant breath on her own , she may never wake up."

I looked up at the Doctor with tears in my eye and ran out of the room and then out of the hospital.

I ran until I couldnt run anymore.

I looked up and saw Sweet Pea, Cheryl, Toni and Fangs walking into Sweet's trailer.

"I dont know guys, Julia seemed to really like being here, do you think she would just leave over a small fight?" Cheryl asked everyone and Sweet Pea Shook his head.

"No I wouldnt, I wouldnt leave you Sweet pea, not again. I love you" I placed my hand on his face and he looked down.

"Not without her jacket. She would never leave without her jacket." he was holding my serpent jacket in his hand

"Sweet Pea please listen to me im not okay, im really really hurt in the hospital please. Please come with me please." I tried to grab his hand but i couldnt.

"Something just doesn't feel right you guys. I dont know what it is but something is telling me she isnt okay." Sweet pea said and I Sighed looking around at all of my friends.

While they were all worrying about me I was laying in a hospital bed...

dying.

-------------------------------------------

A/N

omg you guys thank you for the love and the likes and i love you all. This is my all time favorite chapters. i cant wait for you guys to read it and give me feed back. SO much love.

Love S

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goforwardgreenwriter-blog · 6 years

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The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 3 - 4

Last time we learned that SJM has an unhealthy fascination with describing the breasts of her female characters. I wonder what else this book will throw at us.....

Manon Blackbeak stood at attention by one end of the long, dark bridge into Morath and watched her grandmother’s coven descend from the gray clouds.

MANON MY QUEEN!!! I’ve seen so many antis praise Manon and I totally agree, she’s a refreshing and just plain bad ass character in a cast of stale personality lacking cardboard cut outs.

[Manon’s] grandmother had come to Morath. Or what was left of it, when one-third was nothing more than rubble.

Oh yeah, that happened. Uhh evil stuff and villain plotting was happening at Morath until a minor character from T0G blew it up or something? Can’t remember but it probably won’t be that important after this chapter because SJM has smut to get to, ain’t no room for plot on this boat!

So Manon takes her grandmother to see the duke and we get this fragment.

At the Matron’s accusation—and the line her Thirteen were drawing. Had drawn for some time now.

I don’t know why SJM does this constantly. I suppose to put emphasize on what is being said, but when you do that every other paragraph, it loses its effect. Just have the first sentence there and boom, there you go.

Manon assessed the exits, the windows, the weapons she would use when they fought their way out. Instinct had her stepping in front of her grandmother; training had her palming two knives before the golden-eyed man could blink.

Hell yeahhhhh Manon is so awesome. See. this is what Aelin should have been! Bad ass, but not strutting around flaunting it 24/7.

The duke has changed forms and reveals his true name, Erawan, and Vernon is there too. So is Maeve the main villain or these two guys?

And with the fiery queen now gone, Dorian Havilliard and his city were defenseless. It mattered little to [Manon]. It was war.

Riiight, because nobody can possibly get anything done without the amazing Aelin there to defend them... I’m not saying a bunch of magic-less humans could stand a chance against the witches, but do you have to make it all about how powerful Aelin is?

Perrington—Erawan—shrugged his broad shoulders.

Even the villains aren’t safe from SJM’s obsession with broad shoulders.

“Damage the city enough to instill fear, show our power. But that wall … Bring it down.” [Manon] only said, “Why?” [Vernon’s] golden eyes simmered like hot coals. “Because destroying a symbol can break the spirits of men as much as bloodshed.”

Not gonna lie, that’s pretty bad ass in a twisted, villain way. Not only does he want to destroy the city and no doubt kill countless people, but he’s gonna destroy a symbol of their city to break their spirits? That’s a good threat for a villain to make.

Manon leaves the meeting and tells her witches to suit up for battle.

She found the mute blacksmith by his usual forge, sweat streaming down his soot-stained brow. But his eyes were solid, calm, as he pulled back the canvas tarp on his worktable to reveal her armor. Polished, ready.

(...)

It fitted easily, its interior cool against her hot skin. Even with the shadows that hid most of her face, she could see the blacksmith with perfect clarity as his chin dipped in approval. She had no idea why she bothered, but Manon found herself saying, “Thank you.”

The sweet, sweet taste of character development that sadly, if you haven’t read the books might not make sense out of context.

Onto chapter 4!

Aedion and Rowan did not let Darrow’s messenger go ahead to warn the lords of their arrival. If this was some maneuver to get them on uneven footing, despite all that Murtaugh and Ren had done for them this spring, then they’d gain the advantage whatever way they could.

You just said yourself that Murtaugh and Ren owe you a debt and want to be your allies. You can trust them, I’m pretty sure they aren’t planning anything against you.

Aelin and her court go to a tavern, and I gotta admit, I’m pretty hyped. I know tavern scenes are a cliche in fantasy but honestly, I love them! I love the atmosphere, the blend of comedy and drama, whispering secrets over the table and noticing suspicious figures across the room. Or maybe I just played too much D&D.

Inside the inn, there were no rooms to be found for rent, and the taproom itself was crammed full of travelers, hunters, and whoever else was escaping, the downpour. Some even sat against the walls—and Aelin supposed that it was how she and her friends might very well spend their evening once this meeting concluded. A few heads twisted their way as they entered, but dripping hoods and cloaks concealed their faces and weapons, and those heads quickly returned to their drinks or cards or drunken songs.

See, this is imagery I love!

Lysandra had finally shifted back into her human form—and true to her oath months ago, her once-full breasts were now smaller.

Aaand SJM ruined it. Though I guess the focus of breasts has a point here...? I don’t know why Lysandra vowed to have smaller breasts next time she transformed back to human form but whatever.

Fleetfoot brushed against her calf, tail wagging, and Aelin smiled down at the hound, who shook herself again, flinging droplets of water. Lysandra snorted. Bringing a wet dog into a covert meeting—very queenly.

At least SJM is honest about Aelin not giving a fuck about appearing like a proper queen.

Aelin squared her shoulders as Aedion stepped into the room, already speaking to those inside: “Just like you bastards to make us trudge through the rain because you don’t want to get wet. Ren, looking put-out, as usual. Murtaugh, always a pleasure. Darrow—your hair looks as bad as mine.”

Jesus does it run in the family? Aedion this kind of banter is not proper in a meeting that’ll determine the future of your kingdom and your lives!

Aelin didn’t know how she hadn’t recognized Murtaugh that night she’d gone to the warehouse to end so many of them. Especially when he’d been the one who halted her slaughtering. The other old man, though … while wrinkled, his face was strong—hard. Without amusement or joy or warmth. A man used to getting his way, to being obeyed without question. His body was thin and wiry, but his spine was still straight. Not a warrior of the sword, but of the mind.

Ohhh please don’t tell me Darrow is gonna be a villain please please please

“Lord Darrow,” she said, inclining her head. She couldn’t help the crooked grin. “You look toasty.” Darrow’s plain face remained unmoved. Unimpressed. Well, then.

Yeah it’s almost like this is an important political meeting and there’s no place for shitty one liners in them....hm...

Humility—gratitude. She should try; she could try, damn it. Darrow had sacrificed for her kingdom; he had men and money to offer in the upcoming battle with Erawan. She had called this meeting; she had asked these lords to meet them. Who cared if it was in another location? They were all here. It was enough.

Aelin becoming self aware once again of her frankly shitty attitude. Will she keep it up and try to improve though?

Aelin began counting to ten at the tone. But it was Aedion who said as he claimed a seat, “Careful, Darrow.” Darrow interlaced his gnarled but manicured fingers and set them on the table. “Or what? Shall you burn me to ash, Princess? Melt my bones?”

DARROW CALLING AELIN OUT ON HER SHIT TEMPER! I love Darrow he is my new favorite.

“And what bloodline,” Darrow asked, his mouth tightening at the brand across Lysandra’s tattoo, the mark visible no matter what form she took, “does Lady Lysandra hail from?” “We didn’t arrange this meeting to discuss bloodlines and heritage,” Aelin countered evenly.

I get that you don’t want Darrow being an asshole over Lysandra’s past, but..... you kinda did arrange this meeting for that reason, though? Aelin’s heritage is going to be examined in this meeting so....

Aelin cocked her head, choosing each word, forcing herself to think it through for once. “Is there a skill set that you would prefer I possess?” Darrow smiled. It didn’t reach his eyes. “Some control would do Your Highness well.”

Darrow, it’s illegal to roast someone this badly.

Darrow reveals that in order for a ruler to claim the throne of Terrasen, they must be approved by the ruling families of each territory, meaning that Aelin can’t just strut in and demand the throne. Big fuckin’ shock, Aelin, this is how shit is done!

Darrow didn’t so much as flinch. “You can hardly expect us to allow a nineteen-year-old assassin to parade into our kingdom and start yapping orders, regardless of her bloodline.”

DARROW IS THE BEST CHARACTER IN T0G 2K18 FIGHT ME ON THIS YOU WON’T WIN

Admittedly, Darrow does refer to Lysandra as a whore, which isn’t cool, but damn other than that he is spot on! Maybe SJM won’t force him to be a villain and let him be an obstacle and challenge that forces Aelin to stop her shitty temperamental ways!

But Rowan leaned back in his chair with a faint smile—and it was a horrifying, terrible thing. “I have known many princesses with kingdoms to inherit, Lord Darrow, and I can tell you that absolutely none of them were ever stupid enough to allow a male to manipulate them that way, least of all my queen. But if I were going to scheme my way onto a throne, I’d pick a far more peaceful and prosperous kingdom.” He shrugged. “But I do not think my brother and sister in this room would allow me to live for very long if they suspected I meant their queen ill—or their kingdom.”

Trying not to let myself have feels over him calling Aedion and Lysandra his brother/sister..... I love the “misfits become family” trope, what can I say.

But Darrow went on before Aelin could speak or incinerate the room. “Perhaps, Aedion, if you hope to still gain an official position in Terrasen, you could see if your kin in Wendlyn have reconsidered the betrothal proposition of so many years ago. See if they’ll recognize you as family. What a difference it might have made, if you and our beloved Princess Aelin had been betrothed—if Wendlyn had not rejected the offer to formally unite our kingdoms, likely at Maeve’s behest.” A smile in Rowan’s direction.

SJM, are you... are you suggesting incest? Look, I know shit like this happened in real medieval times, but this is a fantasy series, you don’t have to keep gross shit like that if you’re not gonna go all the way and properly explain and address it.

Darrow says one mean comment about Aedion and Aelin neARLY STABS HIM WITH A DAGGER I’M NOT EVEN JOKING.

Aelin lunged. Not with flame, but steel. The dagger shuddering between Darrow’s fingers flickered with the light of the crackling hearth.

Real professional behavior there, Aelin! Is this how you plain to rule your kingdom, just threaten and kill anyone you disagree with?

“I see you inherited your father’s temper,” Darrow sneered. “Is this how you plan to rule? When you don’t like someone, you’ll threaten them?”

Same hat Darrow! Same hat!

Darrow lifted his brows. “All the work I have done, all that I have sacrificed these past ten years, has been in Orlon’s name, to honor him and to save his kingdom—my kingdom. I do not plan to let a spoiled, arrogant child destroy that with her temper tantrums. Did you enjoy the riches of Rifthold these years, Princess? Was it very easy to forget us in the North when you were buying clothes and serving the monster who butchered your family and friends?”

I know I’m sounding like a broken record here but holy shit, THANK YOU DARROW. Darrow is such an amazing character and a breath of fresh air from everyone kissing Aelin’s ass.

Beneath the table, Rowan’s hand shot out to grip [Aelin’s] own, his fingers coated in ice that soothed the fire starting to flicker at her nails. Not in warning or reprimand—just to tell her that he, too, was struggling with the effort to keep from using the pewter food platter to smash in Darrow’s face.

Wow you two are gonna be great rulers. They’re both temperamental and violent as hell and will probably bring their kingdom to its knees because someone stared at them wrong.

“Should you return to Orynth and seize your throne without our invitation, it will be considered an act of war and treason.” Darrow pulled a piece of paper from his jacket—lots of fancy writing and four different signatures on the bottom. “As of this moment, until it is otherwise decided, you shall remain a princess by blood— but not queen.”

HELL YEAH DARROW!!! Aelin hasn’t proved herself worthy of being queen yet, least of all with threatening someone she’s supposed to be making an ally with. Maybe SJM has turned a new leaf and this entire book will be about Aelin having to actually sit down, shut up, and learn to be humble and how to be a good ruler. One can dream...

#anti sjm #the worm reads: eos #the worm talks #anti eos #anti tog

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chickenfetus · 6 years

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ALL MY EGG (and for the four names: jae, killer kang, minhyuk (whichever one), and santa

deadass i did the 100 questions ask meme for this ask and almost posted it rip

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

theres literally nothing i dont even know what to say ????

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

not 2 be delusional but i would give up my world to hug changkyun

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

glaceon is UP THERE idk why honestly but the sinnoh games were my first and i just??? i was really into ice and snow and shit u know so glaceon... thakn u

another pkmn ill always have is lucario ????? its just so cool?????

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

hopefully forgiveness and like???? acknowledging mistakes and learning from those u know jst positive stuff and like?? water. god i love water

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

hm okay i think this one was from last night or the night b4??? and like???? idk???? i dont even know how 2 start tbh?

so im like hanging over at this two kid’s im a kid 2 i think place and idk we just talk and shit??? idk whomst the boys were tho

and then we get to a scene where its like??? at a train station???? and i go to the washroom to shit or smth idk thankfully i didnt shit myself irl

then i have to get onto the train which isnt even a train its like a carousel with seats??? and its like on a train track boys this is 2 much and i forgot to get ready my train card thing so the guy (who i was p sure was evil) waited for me to remove it so i got onto the transportation device lmao

and then once im seated i remember i forgot my jacket so i make like hand movements 2 the creep and hes runnig 2 me with my jakcet but the ride’s way too fast so i yell and say ill come back for it even tho im p sure i wasnt going 2

after that i wke up wild

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i dont have a best friend and all of my friends have their own unique qualities if i went into a rant abt them rn this will b so long

😘 talk about your crush or partner

[minhyuk voice] theres none

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya bc im petty but it really depends on the person

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

my personality (the good parts)

my values

my taste in friends (my Big Friends are either geminis or scorpios good)

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

the dark and bitch isnt gonna turn off her night light any time soon

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

seeing my favourite happy, listening to the music i like

💙 what annoys you about some people?

i jjust went into a full out rant abt this on the other reply so ill be quiet now

😤 do you get angry easily?

yeahhhhh

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

my faves tbh

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

bad people , gone.

everybody only sends love and happy things on anon

i just want everyone 2 b nice & friendly wars of any sort dont exist and no one wants anybody dead

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

if u sent jae’s name earlier id have trouble so im glad

kiss: tihis is so fucking embarrassing wtf minhyku (mx) but only on the cheek basically everywhere except the lips or anyplace weird

befriend: brian :-0

kill: jae goodbye loser

marry: sanha we can yell every time we gotta turn the lights off

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

tokyo bc its NICE

☕️ talk about your ideal day

cant read

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

i suddenly thought of the word ambivore which made me think of the word vore i wanna delete im a both? mayb idk

💧 when was the last time you cried?

nov 3 bc my heart hurts whenever i see ppl being a bad friend

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

oh worm

all alone - day6

with you - astro

dramarama - mx (even though it isnt out yet lmao)

run - bts (the superior bts song)

hellevator - / (i was rly gonna make this mixed languages but rip)

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

to fly bc im basic

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont do that

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

nobody in general?????????

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

intelligence i have 2 live somehow what if my money gets stolen

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

my humor

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i (barely) know chinese despite having 2 take it all my life legends only

i know english but im bad at that 2 and its my first language once again legends only

i wanna learn japanese and korean

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

the cow from voltron

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

weve already discussed this

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

oh w-0rm ok so im a regular anon on this persons blog and i wanted to send an ask but never got arnd doing it so im gonna send her one. soon/

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

let me live my life as a furry and cat

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

are u ready 4 me to b the meanest person yet bc i sure am lets fucking go

so theres this girl. and i know her (unfortunately) and ive known her since like 4 years ago and back then she was already pretty shit tbh

she cried bc she had to sit in between the “weird” and “dirty” girls in our class and she headass cried in front of them and everyone just bc she didnt like the arrangement?? shes called the “dirty” girl disgusting before and has made fun of her in front of everybody its just bad :-/

now. fast forward 3 years and in addition to still being disrespectful and rude, she now vocalizes her weird fantasies for her “oppas”??? some examples:

“when i go watch __ perform im gonna climb onto stage and then my mother and my future husband will fight for me” and she calls those kpop idols weird shit and basically sexualizes them/???? she says the weirdest fucking shit on her ig story and tags them???????

another thing. she went to korea nd took a picture of a complete stranger and posted it on her public ig and called him her “oppa” and said that they had a “fun day together” despite the guy not knowing her at all???? she posted the pic of him??? i still dont get it tbh

she wasnt even being ironic at all??? she calls herself & classmates “autistic” whenever she/others do smth dumb or mess up and its just sososososo fucking wrong

being one of the people to see how shes basically grown from bad to worse is something i dont fucking enjoy and i jsut want to leave my class already lmao

ok but there are times where i do appreciate her because sometimes the class will be rly quiet and the teacher is basically talking 2 themselves but she’ll always respond w/o fail so thats great but its only bc she talks so damn much

i just got a flashback to when she “jokingly” said she wanted to be a trainee for the rest of her life how do i just. god

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

we’ve once again already discussed this

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

i wanted to be various things honestly?? ranging from an astronaut to a vet to an editor to an animator to other stuff i get influenced pretty easily so if i watch smth and i think its cool ill want 2 be that i guess?? ive been trying 2 get rid of that habit so now i have no clue what i wanna be

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

sweets and chocolate cake

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

drinking water and staying hydrated

making my friends laugh is great 2

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

acne LMAO

😪 what are you sick of?

the usual

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

i love scouting on sif and bandori so yeah

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

lets not

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

to a certain extent

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

use my phone???? send nice anons and comment on art/fics

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

none

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

my tolerance for ppl’s shit is so low

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

my ocs

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

i dont have a dream hence myself

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

infpt i dont rmb shit but yeah

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

falen i dont rmb what u sent

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont follow any :-o zendaya has had my heart ever since shake it off tho

🐴 opinion on day6?

ur rly gonna do this 2m e?

all alone just started playng this is terrible lets get it

so day6. a band i only found out about in late june (thank u boxy) and before this i only ever listened to bts and mx bc my friends stan them so i thought i was gonna expect boys dancing, the usual.

i clicked i smile and i lost my fucking shit as soon as i saw the instruments because prior to day6 i was a big 5sos fan so this was rly resonating to me tbh and i was just !!! so fukcng excited??? i never intended to even get into day6 honestly??? but after witnessing how good they are and watching about all of the available mvs at that point i was completely in awe so i caved a created a stan twitter for them.

now, this isnt even the most of it. after becoming a fan i realized how much more these 5 boys are. they compose (if im not wrong) and brian writes lyrics for the songs each month because of their everyday6 project and again, im wow-ed because??? the amount of dedication???? they went from releasing 2 title tracks in 2 years to releasing 12 title tracks and 12 bside tracks in a single year. they havent released the december song yet but haviing to work on 2 or more songs in 4 weeks is fucking amazing if you ask me.

theyre really talented and theyre just so versatile (am i using that word correctly) and each month their songs sound different. this project has given them the opportunity to try new things and you can hear the steady improvement in each of their vocals (dowoonie not so much since he barely gets lines, but we all know hes working hard) and if you listen to their debut song - kongchu and compare it to the version they released along with sunrise it just???? the drumming has even changed from the original version nd its so noticeable that whenever i hear kongchu from 2015 i know its the old ver

to add to those, they do vlives every week and although those vlives are always scheduled it still makes my day seeing them and watching them do the usual.

one thing im upset about is that how they barely promote themselves, they rarely get on variety shows (the most is individual schedules) and we, as mydays never really get to know the boys so its harder to fall for them as a whole. i dont know if its jyp or day6′s decision but if this is how they want to be known for - their music only, then so be it. we still have jae’s presence on youtube, music access and asc. thats the most we can get and it makes it difficult for us to learn about the rest but thats okay.

another thing. their concerts are something i always look forward to (even though my interest has died down a bit;) their concerts are just so fun to listen to?? there’ll always be mydays who stream the concert so everyone else can listen to them play and they sound so good live it drives me crazy. mydays are always so hyped and whenever mydays sing along it just gives me goosebumps??? bc theyre so???? good?????

tldr; day6 deserve more, following wise and promotions wise because they work so hard and once this project ends i hope they’ll manage to rest but still remain as a presence that will be known instead of returning to jyp’s dungeon.

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

there are days where i am more emotional than usual

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

this is tiring

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i sleep and boy it really helps

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

rest

🌍 which country do you live in?

singapore

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

lame funny swag

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“rocky swag” - park minhyuk, 2017

💭 do you keep a diary?

nope

💫 who inspires you?

brian kang

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

yes bc i love losing sleep

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

terrible

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

i watched spiderman homecoming and i have no idea why i didnt see the plot twist coming but its GOOD watch it

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

theres none lads

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

all my internet buddies but sometimes i dont want to bc im kinda....gross

#softshouyous #asks #if anybody actually read all through all of this.... thank u.#FALEN THAKNK U FOR ASKING I LOVE U

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youcantclipmywings · 4 years

Text

another crazy ass super late update w waaaay too much info

Hey y’alll... I’m kinda back? Sorry again for never being on this account. I want to be on it more but I get so consumed with my life and then I forget... not an excuse but an explanation.

TW for all the usuals (drugs, etc) plus fun high school bs cropping up 2 1/2 years later :)

So last time I updated I was excited about going back to school and was feeling really lost and alone, as well as hopeless about my romantic life and my really intense cravings to smoke weed. A lot has changed since then... lol

My school decided to only do online schooling, understandably, but it sent me into a horrible spiral when they announced that. The idea that I’d be stuck at home for another 5 months... I just couldn’t take it. There’s a reason I went to boarding school after treatment. My parents fucking suck!!!! So I was venting to one of my best friends (C) who lives in another country even though she goes to school in the US (we met in treatment) and she invited me to come stay with her and her family in that country for a few months just so I could get away from my family... and now I’m there! I have dual citizenship with that country and the US because one of my parents is originally from there, so she applied for me to get dual citizenship when I was born, and I still have family here. Anyways, I’m now starting week 2 of my quarantine (which ends on Sunday (sep 20th) but I’m so happy to be here. I needed to get away and COVID just isn’t as bad here and I feel less depressed and like life maybe isn’t that hopeless, which is exciting!!!

I have smoked a bit more recently but I’m trying to lessen it or make sure I’m only doing it when I’m interacting with friends (either in person or via facetime).

So, since I got to this country, there’s been a couple slightly interesting things occurring, relationship-wise. C is dating this guy and has been for the last 2 months and I guess he has a friend (J) who’s single and got really hyped when he found out C had a friend coming into town. C told him if he wanted to even attempt to be with me in anyway whatsoever he had to be my friend first and take things hella slow, but apparently he’s kinda a himbo so who knows if he’ll heed that warning. He added me on snap and told me he’s gonna take me out to a meal and later C told me he was bragging to her bf about how impressive it is that he said that (I think he’s kinda a fuckboy but C said her bf was initially too). Idk how I feel about any of this. I’m trying to not pass any judgment until I meet him a few times.

A few nights ago, I got a snapchat message from this dude (JB) I knew from junior/senior year of high school (after treatment). Now, when we were in high school we were best friends. I had a small group (A, M, JB, and myself) and we all hung out all the time and were super close. A and JB dated junior year and then almost dated again senior year but she kinda ghosted him last minute and started dating someone else. JB also dated two other girls our senior year (this info is all relevant I promise). JB and I were kinda like brother/sister- we got along really well and had similar sense of humor but there wasn’t any attraction between the 2 of us. He liked skinny, kinda crazy (in the whole “omg I’m so fucked up pay attention to me” obnoxious way where they aren’t actually mentally ill, just annoying) girls and I was overweight and even though I’m legitimately mentally ill, I’m stable and high-functioning, and also... he’s short (well the same height as me but I’m tall) and skinny and just not my type... but anyways there was no attraction there. After high school, we all kinda stopped talking. M was a freshman while we were all seniors (I stayed in contact with him and still consider him to be like a little brother- I love him sm he’s my lil baby), but I haven’t talked to JB or A much since. We all went off to college and started new lives... JB and I talked a bit over that summer between senior year of high school and freshman year of college and he did call me a few times throughout freshman year (holy fuck that’s when I started this acc......) but whenever he’d call he’d only talk about himself. He’d talk about how he was drinking too much and smoking too much and he’d say kinda racist shit about his girlfriend at the time’s exes (since they were black... I guess that reflected poorly on her in his mind... fucked up mindset in my opinion) and he’d never ask me about myself. I was in overwhelming, immense pain constantly because of my ankle... I was high all the time and drinking regularly too, while hiding it from everyone, including my therapist. I was in a dark place and there he was calling me to talk about himself for really long periods of time.

Anyways, I started avoiding his calls after awhile and then he stopped calling. He doesn’t know I had my ankle surgery. He doesn’t know I took a semester off of college to recover. He doesn’t know I met my genetic mom. He doesn’t know I’m struggling with some issues still. Then, in December 2019, the day after my mom had a heart attack, he started frantically messaging me on snapchat, begging me to talk. I told him that I couldn’t, that my mom was in the hospital and I was overwhelmed, that I had a ton of dr appointments and meetings and needed to make sure my mom was okay, but he wouldn’t lay off. I guess I felt some sort of loyalty towards him since we used to be so close, so I said “okay, you can call me anytime in the next 30 minutes, but that’s it” and he responded immediately, saying “I’ll call you in 5 minutes”. He never fucking called. After that, I decided I was done. He’s no longer my friend. And we hadn’t spoken since until a couple weeks ago where he messaged me and told me he missed me and I responded with a “yeah it’s been awhile” and then left him on read after he responded back with some other bs.

Then this past weekend, he messages me out of nowhere talking about how he misses me and again, I say “yeah, it’s been awhile”. He says that there’s been something he’s wanted to tell me for a long time and he wishes he would’ve said something when we were in high school. I asked what the fuck he was talking about and he was like “I wish we could’ve dated. You were always so nice to me and we got along really well. I thought you were beautiful, caring, funny, and sweet. We had the sense sense of humor and enjoyed doing the same stuff. I liked you a lot and wish we could have dated.”... I was like.. “Uhhh... what made you realize this?” and he said “Idk I just realized it now” and I was like “yeah I’m just a little shocked because it never seemed like there was any type of relationship vibes there” and he was like “really?” and I was like “dude... you literally dated 2 girls and almost dated a 3rd...” and he was like “I feel like I knew I liked you then” so at that point I facetimed my friend M and was like “did JB like me in high school” and he was like “nah he liked A and those 2 other girls” and I was like “yeah, he’s saying some bs and I just need confirmation that I didn’t miss any signs” and he was like “yeah you guys were just really good friends” so I messaged JB back and was like “so what motivated you to tell me this” and he said “I don’t know I just felt like I should tell you” and I was like “well where do we go through here”... now, I said this knowing he’d say he wanted to date. I didn’t want to date him but I did want to let him down easily. M had told me while we were facetiming that JB had dropped out of college and gone to rehab so he was obviously struggling. I think he’s just super lonely during quarantine and he’s reflecting on high school (when he last felt happy) and is creating something that wasn’t there in hopes that it’d be reciprocated and he’d feel less lonely. He and A both had relationship/intimacy issues and were both really hyperfocused on always being in a relationship, so I’m not surprised he’s still like that. I am surprised it’s gotten to a point where it’s delusional...

Anyways, he responded saying “where do you wanna go?” and I said “I asked you first” and he said “I want you wbu” and I said “I don’t know dude... I’m a super different person than I was 2 1/2 years ago and I’m sure you are too and I’m just not sure if we’d be compatible now that all this time has passed... also I live in a diff country now so we’d never actually see each other.” I know saying I live in a diff country now is kinda lying because it makes it seem like I moved permanently but I think it was necessary to get my message across so I don’t feel bad. He responded and he was like “yeah I guess that’s true” and I said “yeahhhhh” and he was like “I really want to be with you” and I said “I guess timing is everything” and he said “yeah I guess :(” and then I left him on read and that was the end of that conversation. I feel like a really good person for letting him down as nicely as I did because I felt like saying “nah I’m not fucking into you” especially since he’s been such an awful and selfish friend since we left high school, but I decided to be the bigger person because I know he’s struggling right now. And I feel sad that he’s reached a point in his life where he’s creating something that never existed because he’s so lost and alone and confused. I wish I could be there for him but I just can’t...

My therapist says I can be too loyal to people sometimes. Even when people hurt me, I’m still there and I feel like I owe it to them to stick around and support them. I pretend like I’ll drop anyone that hurts me, but it’s obvious I’m loyal since I’m still willing to treat this dude with more kindness in this one interaction than he’s given me in 2 1/2 years. I want to be a kind person but I don’t want to be loyal to a fault... I think it’s harmful and self destructive. I need to work on it.

Anyways, last night when I got out of the shower I had a towel wrapped around me and felt something weird and looked down and a giant spider was crawling around on my tiddy... I screamed so loud I’m surprised the family I’m staying with didn’t come running into the guesthouse from the main house to make sure I’m okay lol. I killed it with my textbook, which is now sitting in the corner of the room because I’m not in the right mental space to clean spider guts off a textbook after that whole ordeal.

C’est la vie...

#update #long one #tw drugs #tw drug use #men suck

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