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#yeah yeah I'm going in the wrong order
divorcedfiddleford · 7 months
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and you may say to yourself: "my god! what have i done?" and you may tell yourself: "this is not my beautiful wife!" and you may tell yourself: "this is not my beautiful house!" and you may ask yourself: "well, how did i get here?"
time isn't holding up, time isn't after us, time is a pony ride! (images described in alt text)
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shima-draws · 7 months
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Currently in my banging my head against the wall phase. Hope you all are well 🥰
#Doc told me to schedule another MRI on Tuesday. They said they sent the order over on Tuesday.#I call on Tuesday to schedule the appointment. They don't have the referral yet#I called yesterday to try and schedule. They STILL don't have the referral#I message my doc and make sure they actually sent it over to the right place. (They did.)#They say they'll fax it over again! Great!#I call AGAIN today. They STILL don't have the referral#Bro I just need to schedule this fucking MRI so I can find out what's WRONG with me#The girl on the phone was like 'Oh yeah we're real busy we get orders all the time it must not have hit the system yet'#BRO IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS. HOW HAS NOBODY SEEN IT. TEARING my hair out#I went to their website to try and schedule online. Guess what? THEIR GODDAMN SCHEDULING ASSISTANT IS DOWN FOR MAITENANCE#SCREAMS#Anyway yes so in my banging my head against the wall phase. I'm so tired#And still in pain! To nobody's surprise!!#They can't fix what's wrong with me if I can't even get in to get an MRI. Hello. PLEASE#This isn't really smth that can wait a couple weeks#I should've been in to see them like YESTERDAY.#My pain is so bad I had to stay at home today. And I go and ice my back every hour or so#Bc I can't sit down for more than 45 minutes without wanting to kill myself ;))))#Shima speaks#I'M SORRY I'm just so. I've been over this for months. And now that I'm THIS close to getting answers#I can't. Seem to get these people to schedule an appointment for me#Grinds my teeth
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and then he quit Starfleet for over 50 years
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cloud-somersault · 7 months
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the way the fandom like. makes all these angsty art pieces and jokes and animatics of Wukong doing a murder and people in the comments go "ow! how could you" or "the angst is getting to me" or "haha! wukong did a murder!"
and then if you ever take that (somewhat widely accepted) concept and put it into a realistic context and like. act as if it actually happened, oh no, you can't do that! we can't have Wukong doing a wrong!
so like, what do people want? Do we just want the murder to be played up for laughs, or are we actually gonna acknowledge it? because imo, treating it simply as a joke and ignoring it otherwise is Not the move.
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writeouswriter · 1 year
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Me: *Has written plenty of great opening scenes that I'm actually quite fond of*
Also me when trying to write a new opening scene for a new project: I have never written an opening scene in my life, what's an opening scene any more, has there ever truly been an opening scene to anything, there is no beginning, so there is no end, there is no one out there watching over this monstrosity, I am in the void, my mind is adrift, how do I open this scene without a key, where did I leave my keys??
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rawliverandgoronspice · 5 months
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yeah, I just feel really really numb.
#thoughts#trying to not overspill on here#but the current world events are truly sending me down the mental health gutter right now#it's not even like I didn't know what kind of nightmare world order we live in but#yeah can't focus on anything#I'm really physically isolated too and cannot leave my house for the whole week#so I genuinely cannot do anything beyond giving donations that are kept from reaching destination#and pretend everything is fine and dandy at work as if I had it in me to care about videogames at the moment#while my government reveals once again how much a fascist conglomerate of US-bootlickers white supremacist pieces of shit they really are#sorry it's normally not the tone here but I just... it's so disheartening#witnessing utterly inhumane violence branded as righteous and inevitable#and I know it's in moments like these that it's vital not to give up on people and to band together and believe in democracy etc etc#but god are we being tested right now#and I'm not even... affected like I'm not someone who might get directly hurt as a result of all this#but even this unearned privilege feels rancid and rotten and so fucking wrong#I don't understand how so many people can just... go on with their day as this is happening#as everybody's place in the system is being cemented and enforced by all manners of violence#I mean I do understand helplessness is a thing we truly cannot do much individually especially when your country banned protests#but yeah#might delete later
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totalspiffage · 1 year
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I hate that chemicals in my brain are like supposed to regulate my emotions but they're like no you will cry bc you didn't get the right order from the noodle place do it cry now this is the worst thing in the world!!!!!
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Pausing halfway through reading one of your fics to pop in and say I really love your narration and character voices. It’s not common in fanfic for an author to write in a way that’s layered enough for the reader to gain their own insights and conclusions. Like I’m in the last chapter of therianthropy and there’s the stuff that happens on the same page when there’s dissonance between thoughts and actions or when Karen buys Matt the sympathy muffin and Matt’s mad that that tactic totally works, and there’s also the longer story motifs that must be so hard to tie together when you’re publishing at the same time as actively writing.
The bit that got me to stop is when teenage Matt’s at Fogwell’s. Previously we saw Fogs starting to talk about the little boxing found family and Matt’s all “oh geez I hope he doesn’t start the lecture about sacred boxing fraternity 🙄”. And on its own this was a great scene because it showcased the characterisation of Fogs, Matt and Lisa in a few short paragraphs. Fogs is real passionate about this one thing, Matt’s heard this windbag go on about it a million times and is comfortable enough to be a little bitch, and Lisa’s relaxing for the first time in a /long/ while. And it’s beautiful.
But then. BUT THEN!!!!!!! This *fucking* speech Fogs was about to launch into!!!!!! Is the very thing that made Matt feel genuinely loved for the first time since Jack died!!!!!!!! Nearly ten years!!!!!!!!! And when Matt finds this traumatised teenage soldier that needs reassurance, love and support, he takes her to the the place where that unconditional care was given to him all those years ago and arhgrgahgrhhogohrgohhhh don’t even get me started on kintsugi ok I hope u never stop creating ok ur fics make me wanna howl at the fucking moon
2/2 Sorry my coherency evaporated real quick there. Your stories are also laugh out loud funny
Hello extremely kind ask I have neglected in my ask box for far too long. Thank you for your kind words they made me extremely happy and made me feel more competent than I actually am.
The tough part about fanfiction is that everything y'all get is basically a first draft because, like you said, it's publish-as-you-go and I don't have the chance to go back and rewrite the story to be more cohesive. Like, the act of writing itself means the plot and characters are still developing, and i really rely on editing and second drafts for that in a way that's not super possible with fanfiction. Sometimes the characters just Do Things and i'm like "wha--stop that. why are you. since when do you. why didn't you do that like 100k words ago." and it gives it a very flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants vibe from my perspective.
I am a very big fan of Recycling when it comes to my writing, and i think it makes it seem a little more put-together than it is. Like, I always have big Scenes in my head that exist from the start of the story that I know are going to make an appearance, so I just bury references to them them I need to craft the moments leading up. Or, if I don't have a scene planned and there's something missing, I tend towards trying to tie it back to something that already existed in the story, so there's a little bit more of a common line running through it. Granted, if you do this too much it seems a little kitschy, so I don't always do it, but I'm a firm believe in using what you have to the fullest extent.
If i recall correctly, Fogs' confusing Matt into staying by just sort of talking until he passed out was a Big Scene and I was just planting my chekov's guns like a deeply unqualified gardner who should have been fired a long time ago and never given access to the guns safe. I knew that I wanted Lisa being taken in by Matt to parallel his own recovery from Stick, so it was sort of low-hanging fruit to have Fogs go off on the same rant. I also kind of liked it because I think time does a lot for reframing how we think of things.
Like, when Matt first gets Fogs' speech about Ancient Sumerian Men Beating The Hell Out Of Each Other, he's half starved, half feral, and trying to fling himself back out into the hostile streets of New York because he feels safer alone than he has ever felt with other people. He passes out, wakes up with a blanket over him and Fogs asleep at his desk even when he doesn't have to be. Like you said--it's the first time in a very long time that he's felt safe.
Then, when he's in the future, it's just very casual. It's not really framed as remarkable, and Matt doesn't hold it in his mind as something that glitters. I thought it showed an enormous amount of healing for him to be so comfortable with Fogs that he didn't seem to remember that this was something that once brought him to tears.
And you're also right about Matt bringing her there--it was easy recycling in the sense that i needed to answer the question of "where would he bring this traumatized child he doesn't know how to help" and figured the answer was "probably the place that helped him."
Thank you for your kind words they made me extremely happy and I'm very glad you like my writing
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yournextflame · 2 years
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I know that I hung upon a windy tre for nine whole nights, wounded with a spear and given to Odin, myself to myself for me; on that tree I knew nothing of what kind of roots it came from.
Turns out Elden Ring is 200hr long allegory to the myth of Odin’s self-sacrifice. Female Jesus, struggling for the freedom of humanity, was never a thing, we’ve been dealing with modern reimagination of pagan god, who sacrificed themself, for the sake of themself. Part of them had to die so another part could gain... what?
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tj-crochets · 1 year
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I only knew jellycat plushies as the like cute weird food plushies I didn’t realize they had so so many other plushies  I might have a new favorite monster plushie???
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k1rishiki · 8 months
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watch Gundam 00 it'll be funny I swear
i WILL but i'm going in release order bc i'm. actually fucking insane. and i'm not quite there yet
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chadsuke · 9 months
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the main couple in this “romance” manga are in the SINGLE DIGITS age-wise
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lanliingwang · 9 months
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genuinely wonder how fate would hypothetically adopt the apricot yellow flag (杏黄旗) used by Jiang Ziya in Fengshen Yanyi as a Noble Phantasm
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cluescorner · 10 months
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I saw 3.8 leaks (info about them in tags if you don’t wanna look at them)
Me: We don’t spend money on gacha games. We don’t spend money on gacha games. We don’t spend money on gacha games. 
3.8 leaks: *Exist*
Me: FUCK
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queridaz · 2 years
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tryna plan my birthday dinner and just realized i can't afford it 😔😔
#ik i'm inviting everyone over but what if i made them pay for their food absjsks#i could make empanadas instead and that'd be way cheaper and i'd have enough for everyone#but that also means i'd have to spend my birthday making empanadas and the whole point of ordering food was not having to do work#also i really wanted thai food :/#maybe i can afford it if i get the job i interviewed for this week#but def not at the moment#also mini rant since i'm on the topic of finances but man is it depressing to be here working two jobs to pay for groceries#meanwhile my roommate is on a full scholarship w/ free meal plan and rich parents and she eats the food i make or uses my ingredients#like she v def is not in the wrong bc i told her she could but it is depressing to know that i'm struggling to pay for college and survival#while she gets to be blissfully unaware of how much she has in her savings and bills are paid for her#she literally said that the other day she was like#''i don't know how much i have in my college savings. i just ask my mom to withdraw from it whenever a bill comes''#(she has a full ride but she's out of state so there's like a fee or smth she has to pay but it's still essentially a full ride)#and i just sat there flabbergasted bc i know exactly how much i have in my college savings. $417.37.#and every penny will be gone by next sem to pay for those classes. and my 529 is v low bc of the stock market being bad rn#so i'm trying to avoid going into it until the stock market's up again but i had to dip into it anyway bc of my required arts class#aaaaaanyway the thought of her not even knowing what she has bc she doesn't have to worry abt it cause she's rich is so..... yeah 😔😔#and then i turn around and like three of my friends get a monthly allowance from their parents meanwhile i treat them to boba#i can't ask my parents for financial help cause they're in a really bad spot right now#my brother called me the other day and said he was having waffles for dinner cause they didn't have any food#so like....... i think my friends should pay for my laundry#tea talks#tea vents
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xviruserrorx · 2 years
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I love the feeling when I finally finish a fic especially one that I have been working on for a long period. But at the same time I hate it because it feels like saying goodbye to an old friend that I'll only have pictures and the memories to look back on
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