#yeah these posts are becoming incomprehensible

[dangerous-advantage]

Thoughts About Future Leo

I know the "general consensus" about Future Leo is that if he saw his past self he'd immediately beat the shit out of him (or at least be very mean to him) and that's fine and all but like

future Leo has gone through shit over and over, lost his FAMILY to something that he probably blames himself for, and has probably gone through enough character arcs to be a good, supportive leader/brother -- a LOT has changed since he was young.

he's probably spent years loathing himself, yet when we see him, he's smiling, telling Casey how badass he is, supporting his brothers -- doing all the things that he desperately needed as a teen.

Future Leo's trauma hasn't shaped him into some jaded, bitter old man who hates himself. he's a leader. a hero. he sees himself in Casey, but instead of being hard on him, he is kind.

in order to be a good leader, Leo would have had to learn forgiveness, not only of the others, but of himself.

if future Leo went back in time, the first thing he would do if he saw his past self wouldn't be to yell at him or glare angstily or whatever.

it would be to hug him.

because he knows what it was like to be a scared, confused teen. because he's a responsible, caring adult who understands people make mistakes. because he knows exactly what his past self is going through, and exactly what he needs: someone who cares about and trusts and believes in him.

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt movie #rottmnt movie spoilers #(ish) #i feel so many things about this #thinking about that one trend that was like #'yeah i was a weird kid" 😜 #and then it shows a picture of that person when they were a kid with like a caption of #'you think i'm weird?' #also that one tumblr post that's like 'you become the person you would've felt safe with as a kid' #sorry if this is incomprehensible just wanted to say some stuff #tw long post #long post #cannot beLIEVE i'm getting emotional over fucking #ninja turtles right now

[rootbeerworshiper]

Summer (part 2/3)

Reader x Matt Sturniolo

summery: Summer camp has always been your favourite thing, but as you enter you last year at the camp, as a councillor, you meet someone that changes everything.

warnings: so long omg sorry LMAO, mention of suicide, just so much fluff

alsooooo definitely accidentally posted this when i had already written like half of it and i’ve been writing it while it’s private so it will most likely be far down on my page hahah

part 3 here

love, sienna <3

surprisingly you slept well last night—between the noisy children and Matt intruding your every thought, you weren’t sure it was possible.

you can’t get him out of your mind, his eyes, his sudden kindness—his hands.

yeah you were obsessed with some guys hands, that’s how perfect he is.

camp is only a week long, which doesn’t really leave you enough time to muster up enough courage to actually do anything with him—but that does not mean you won’t be thinking about it.

he’s the kind of person that has so many layers, like a complex character in a novel—you just want to know everything about him.

looking at him is nice too—you can’t get the image of him by the fire out of your mind.

never in your life did you think you’d become so infatuated with someone who’s currently avoiding juvie, but here you were, journaling every waking thought you have about him.

normally you’d tell Amara, but for whatever reason a part of you wants to keep Matt to yourself. he’s the one thing in your life that makes you interesting and the moment Amara sees him you’re sure he’ll switch his gaze towards her—most boys do.

maybe you were interested in Matt purely because he approached you first, another thing that usually happens to your best friend.

whatever it was, it’s slightly embarrassing.

the two of you had one civil conversation and you’re already head over heels.

as much as you’d love to sit here and daydream about Matt, you are a councillor and you do have a job to do.

so you muster up the energy at 7:30am to wake up all the kids as they begin to get ready for breakfast.

you yourself also have to get ready, which feels like a task in it self because now you had something to look good for—well you had someone.

taking out your braids from the day prior, you brush through your curls that are now more defined than usual.

you’re grateful they aren’t frizzy, the world being on your side for once in your life.

a mental battle ensues on whether or not you should apply makeup. normally you wouldn’t. you usually don’t even pack any, but for the time being you’ll do anything to be more desirable, especially next to Amara.

the kids are finally ready and so are you, now just wearing your red councillor t-shirt and white linen shorts that you thrifted a while ago, along with a few bracelets you had made at prior years at camp.

you along with the campers put on your shoes before walking outside, the feeling of your black converse sinking into the gravel that resides outside your cabin combined with the smell of the morning brought you serenity that was truly incomprehensible.

with that you begin the walk to the dining hall once more, trying to avoid rubbing your sleepy eyes as to not smear your freshly applied mascara.

the menu for breakfast consisted of scrambled eggs and french toast which had your kids jumping up and down at the thought of.

you were just grateful that councillors were allowed coffee in the morning—maybe you didn’t sleep as well as you thought. it was hard to tell how much of the dreaming you were awake for.

instinctively, you look around for familiar faces. you and Amara hadn’t really spoken last night after the fire, just a goodnight text and her saying that she has to catch you up on her life—she always does.

its clear when you spot Amara she has a pounding headache, you have a talent for telling when she’s hung over—and yet she still looks like she’s straight off the runway.

you don’t know why your thoughts of jealousy had gotten so bad recently, but for whatever reason it was overtaking you.

there’s no time to look around for Matt as you begin placing food onto your paper plate, asking the kitchen staff for a coffee with cream and sugar.

momentarily you forget about him, caught up in the mess your campers were making and smiling as they grin ear to ear alongside you.

that is until you see him again. somehow he got more beautiful.

you could tell that he was also tired by the way he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and sipped on his coffee, but nonetheless you were infatuated with him.

something about the way he was so incredibly good with kids caused your heart to do actual backflips. it’s hard to even tell he was forced to be here from the way he lets the kids tease him and pull on his clothes.

the sight is too funny not to laugh at but the moment his eyes meet yours from across the room your focus changes to your plate.

it was probably incredibly obvious how obsessed with him you were, and you were sure he’s used to it.

the itinerary for the day is basically every activity you can think of, including rock climbing, archery, arts and crafts, swimming and more.

the way it all works is that two cabins are paired together and each day they complete two of many activities.

you knew that your activities were rock climbing and crafts, but you weren’t sure what cabin you would be paired with.

the camp leader begins to list the pairings, and slowly, there is less options for you to be put with.

“and lastly councillors y/n and councillor Matt’s cabins will be paired!” the leader says enthusiastically.

you weren’t sure how you felt about this.

sure, you can spend more time with the boy you can’t get off of your mind, but on the other hand you fear the more time you spend with him, the more likely you are to scare him away.

so for a moment you’re anxiety kicks in, thinking about what your going to say to Matt, how to not make a fool of yourself in front Matt, or how-

Matt.

you’re eyes meet his once more. now lingering longer than before.

he’s the first to break the eye contact, chuckling to himself as he begins to assist his campers in putting everything away.

butterflies enter your stomach immediately, one small smile from him is all that it took.

as much as you’d love to stay in this spot forever, watching him, you have to assist your own campers with their sticky plates and interesting questions.

once everyone has poured out of the dining hall and into the open area, the cabins are split into their respective groups.

you don’t say anything to Matt at first, paralyzed by the fear of making it awkward, so you just sort of… stand next to each other.

“how’d you sleep?” he asks, catching you off guard as you bring your gaze towards him.

he’s not much taller than you, maybe two inches or so, but you still had to look up slightly to make eye contact.

somehow, you muster up the courage to speak. “it was okay, kids were pretty loud till like midnight and then i got asked about 4 times to walk people to the bathroom so you know” you kick the rocks beneath your feet, looking down at them to avoid eye contact. “you?”

“it was pretty weird sleeping in a room full of ten year old boys so not a lot of sleeping happened for me” you both look up to see that it’s time to head to your activities, the first of which being rock climbing.

as councillors you didn’t have to actually rock climb, just assisting the kids in getting their gear on and such.

other than a few stolen glances between you and Matt, nothing really happens, and there’s not enough time inbetween kids climbing for anymore small talk.

after every kid has gone, you’re about to begin heading over to the craft area when one of Matt’s campers speaks. “Matt and y/n you should do a rock climbing race!” he says enthusiastically, earning cheers of agreement from practically every other camper.

you and Matt immediately look to one another and before you can even say no to the kid he smiles. “sure, it’ll be fun” your breath practically hitches at his words but you’re in no position to say no.

so you swallow your pride. “okay sure. Matt you are so on”

the two of you walk over as the station leader assists you into your harnesses. “you’re all set” she smiles at you.

as you and Matt lined yourselves up you were met with an abundance of cheers from the campers.

the one leader now speaks again, this time counting down. “on your mark”

you look to Matt and he has the cheesiest smile on his face, one you haven’t been able to witness until now.

“get set”

he looks back to you, but doesn’t hold the eye contact long as he looks back up at he wall ahead, and you do the same—it’s unlike you to lose to a boy because you’re too busy staring at him.

“go!” she waves her hand dramatically as you and the boy to your left begin climbing up the wall.

rock climbing was one of your favourite activities growing up at camp, and up until this point you hadn’t lost a race to anyone.

so here you are, putting in your full effort as you scale the wall, Matt continuing to keep up with you.

this goes on for a moment longer until you go and reach for the bell at the top, feeling victorious.

the feeling doesn’t last long because another hand comes into your line of sight, reaching for the same string.

you tied.

ten years of winning every race and you’ve now tied for the first time.

the bell rings and everyone below you cheers as you look to Matt—it’s hard to be mad at anyone that looks that good. “good game” you say as you begin to make your way down the wall, reaching your hand out to shake his.

he reaches for your hand and does the same. “same to you” you try your best to avoid the way his hand makes you want to melt, focusing now and getting down to the grass that awaits you below.

_______________________________________________

the rest of the day is pretty standard, and after arts and crafts you had new beaded bracelets to add to your growing collection.

dinner goes smoothly too, and by the evening the kids have full control over what they wish to do before lights out.

this gives you a chance to talk to Amara, which is something you feel like you haven’t done in forever. the two of you are sitting at the dock by the lake, watching the sun set as you talk about everything that’s happened so far.

“i don’t know why you won’t peruse anything with him he sounds perfect for you” you groan.

she’s now filled you in on the older camp councillor from last night, and it’s safe to say you were growing more annoyed with her inability to commit to a guy, especially one as good as the councillor.

“he gave me the ick i don’t know” she ponders for a moment, gaze still fixated on the scenery that surrounds you. “wait how was it doing the activities with that weird kid?”

you furrow your eyebrows, not entirely sure who she’s referring to. “Matt?”

“yeah that’s his name” she replies smiling as if the idea of him is just that funny.

it’s hard to not feel a little sting, but you’re used to this, you and her have very different taste in guys. “i don’t know why you think he’s weird, he’s pretty nice actually”

“i don’t know he always looks angry at something and like i’ve never seen him not wearing a long sleeve it’s just odd”

now you’re definitely annoyed. normally you’d play along just to get her to stop talking, but for whatever reason you feel the need to stick up for Matt—maybe it’s because you aren’t sure anyone else would.

“you don’t know anything about him Amara you shouldn’t be judging him over nothing” you reply with a harsher tone than you were really expecting.

“why do you care so much? do you have a crush on the kid or something?”

yup you sure do.

but Amara doesn’t deserve to know that, not when she’s acting like this.

so you just get up, replacing yourself with your feet on the slightly wobbly dock.

you open your mouth to say something but ultimately decide against it, the last thing you want to do is speak out of anger and regret it the next morning.

“y/n i didn’t mean it like that i’m sorry” she calls out but you continue walking towards your cabin in a fit of anger.

_______________________________________________

it doesn’t make a ton of sense why you were so offended by her words. deep down you knew there was more of Matt for you to learn about, more backstory behind his complexity and you couldn’t judge him without it.

you shower quickly, although you hate the camp showers with a passion. all you can do is be as fast as possible and pray no bugs join you in the stall.

once you’ve dried off fully you change into some random boxers you own and your moms old crew neck that you brought with you everywhere.

it brought you closure wearing it, having a physical way to feel close to her was needed in your time of grief.

the campers all settle in to their bunks and you drown out their talking as you return to your book from earlier.

usually reading was an escape from your life, a way to forget—now as you read you can’t help but wish these romantic things were happening to you.

it’s too much.

so you attempt to sleep, putting the bookmark on a page that brought you particular sadness and letting out a huge sigh as your head meets the pillow.

you wish it was easy to turn your fast moving brain off, but it’s a battle that you know all too well—a battle you lose every time.

so once it’s clear that all the campers are asleep, you make your way out of the cabin, tip toeing as much as possible and quietly picking up your slides.

you squeeze your eyes as the door creaks ever so slightly and pause as you await a reaction, but nothing happens, so you continue out.

the moment you shut the door behind yourself you take a few breath. if only breathing was enough to shut off your mind.

you bend over to slide on your shoes and you begin to walk to the dock, hoping to gain some peace and serenity while you watch the stars.

it’s a short walk and soon enough you find yourself at the same spot you fought with Amara at hours prior, and the thought of the fight alone makes you feel sick.

you’re unsure of how it got this bad with her. it’s not like you actively hated her or anything, she’s still your favourite person. but something in the way you continuously watch her reject guys just to disprove at the one guy that actually looks like at you like you’re human makes you really upset.

camp used to be so different. always filled with lifelong memories, but you want nothing more than to forget what happened tonight.

you wipe the tear that’s creeps on to your face and lay down, knees bent and your hands on your stomach—having your hands placed there is something Amara taught you to do when your brain moves too fast for your breath to keep up.

the use of that strategy is ironic now.

after a few short moments you hear footsteps behind you—there is no way you are ready to talk to Amara yet, not when you still feel like shit.

“Amara i don’t wanna speak to you right now please leave me alone” you call out without looking behind yourself.

the footsteps pause for a moment so you assume you’ve successfully caused your best friend to walk away, but you’re met with a voice that is all too familiar.

“i’m not Amara”

Matt.

the footsteps continue as you look back to him. “mind if i sit here?”

you wipe your face quickly, the last thing you need is any more lingering tears left on your cheek and a boy to make fun of them. a quick nod of your head and he’s sat next to you, closer now than at the fire.

he’s the first to lay back now, in the exact position you were in before being interrupted. “do you wanna talk about it?”

you match his position on the dock, sighing to release all stress. “are you gonna get annoyed if i sit here and ramble about girl drama?” you knew it was more than that, but most people you have tried to confide in didn’t see it the way that you did.

“i think calling it girl drama just undermines the pain you’re clearly in” his gaze is fixed on the stars but you can’t help but look to him.

“that was a big word for you” you smile slightly and earn a shake of the head in return—it’s clear he’s hiding a smile you just aren’t sure why. “but yeah uh i kinda fought with Amara in this exact same spot like a few hours ago”

you pause. it feels extremely weird to be confiding in someone who was a stranger to you yesterday but somehow he feels like the only person in the world who will listen.

“she just said some mean shit about this guy that i’m into as if she doesn’t shut down every guy that looks at her. and i wish i had her problem, i do. but it doesn’t come that easy for me, guys don’t usually look at me that way”

“and this one does?” he asks, looking at you as if on cue.

you fight the stupid smile that creeps onto your lips. “he does”

it’s silent for a moment again, you aren’t really sure how to continue this conversation.

“you’re telling me no guys are into you?” he asks. as much as you wish the words didn’t have the effect on you that they did, sadness looms over you once more.

“that’s exactly what i’m telling you. they all look to Amara before i can even get a word in. i’m used to it now, but it’s still a hurtful reality check that my life isn’t one i read about.” once again you were unsure why you were being so open with Matt, you had never said these words out loud before, something about him made it flow so effortlessly.

he sighs at this, as if the sadness that looms over your head has travelled to his. “i don’t see what everyone sees in Amara. i prefer the other friend”

you just laugh. “that’s funny” as confident as you were that he was joking, his face is dead serious. your eyebrows furrow in disbelief. “wait you’re serious?”

“way to make it a thing” he laughs but you can’t even begin to imagine what you’re meant to say in return in order to continue the flirty banter—god where was Amara when you needed her.

“wait why did you sit next to me yesterday at the fire? i thought you hated me” you muster up the courage to speak.

he clears his throat slightly and you can tell he’s uncomfortable. “i never hated you. i was just mad that my parents sent me here. i sat next to you because i thought you were pretty, it’s really not complicated.”

you allow your jaw to drop at this. to most people this may be a normal occurrence, but for someone as hot as Matt to be hitting on you is not something you could prepare yourself for.

he looks to you and you immediately cover your face with your hands—you were flustered over nothing.

the last thing you expected him to do was gently remove your hands from your cheeks. “this isn’t gonna work if you’re terrified of compliments”

“sorry i’m not used to it” his hands are still holding your own. “can i ask you something?”

he nods, not letting go.

“why do you always wear long sleeves?” you were expecting a more uncomfortable reaction from the boy, instead a smirk enters his face.

“you wanna see?” you could melt at the words but instead you nod as he lets go of your grasp.

he sits up and his hands grab the bottom hem of his hoodie and lift it over his head—momentarily exposing his stomach.

you can’t help but stare until he pulls his tank top down and places his hoodie to the side. “holy shit” is all you’re capable of saying. it’s unclear what you were anticipating but it definitely wasn’t this.

Matt’s right arm is completely covered in tattoos. from flowers on his shoulder to a seashell on his forearm he practically had a full sleeve.

you’re fully sat up now too, hesitantly reaching out to his arm to further inspect the ink that covers him. “you can touch my arm i won’t bite” he says, speaking more quiet than before, but it’s an offer you take up—grabbing the boys arm and tracing your fingers along the numerous tattoos.

the longer you graze his arm the more you can feel eyes burn though the top of your head, so without thinking you look up and your eye’s immediately meet his—now closer than ever before.

you fight every urge to back away and cringe of embarrassment, because deep down this is all you’ve thought about for the past 24 hours and now it’s real.

the eye contact lingers for a while, your arm still on his as the two of you practically breathe in sync.

“can i kiss you?” Matt asks and immediately you nod your head, unable to think about anything else.

he leans in and a sense of comfortability washes over you in the most unexpected way. as much as you lack experience, this feels so incredibly right.

you’re the first to deepen the kiss and his hand makes its way to your cheek—you could melt at the touch.

it’s something so simple but so intimate. your hand rubbing small circles on his arm while his fingers bring you impossibly closer to him.

as far as kisses go, you’re sure this is as good as it gets.

after a moment the two of you back away, looking into each others eyes immediately.

you can’t fight back the dumb smile that forms on your face, and for once, he doesn’t either.

he lays back down and you follow suit, now placing your head in his chest as his arm wraps around your waist. “i wish everyone saw you the way that i see you” you say—his one hand now making its way to your hair to toy with it as you speak.

“you want everyone to want to kiss me?” you smack his chest as he laughs.

“obviously not Matt” you sigh, sinking further into him. “i just mean like everyone sees you as this tough guy who doesn’t care about anything, but that’s not you at all”

“what am i then?” his voice is deeper now, more tired than you’ve heard him before.

your own arm wraps around his waist before you speak again, it still doesn’t feel real. “for starters, you love kids, i can tell. most councillors don’t put up with half the shit your cabin does to you but you just allow it and i don’t think it’s because you don’t care, i think it’s because you like to make them happy.”

he just hums in response. “you also care about other people. like when you saw me sitting alone, part of me just assumed you were coming to make fun of me but i think you just didn’t like seeing someone so social sit alone. and i saw the look in your eyes when i opened up to you. it wasn’t pity, it was empathy”

it’s easier to speak to him when you don’t have to look at him in the eyes, and with his hand in your hair guiding you through your words. “you just don’t let people see that side of you and i don’t understand why”

he shifts slightly in his spot—you definitely struck a nerve and you were not expecting to.

“you don’t have to uh tell me if you don’t want i get it if it’s personal” you say quickly, desperately trying to not ruin what has barely started.

“no it’s fine uh” he thinks for a second, fingers still gently scratching your scalp. “when i was younger i was the happiest kid, like you would never see me without a smile on my face. and uh i had this best friend, his name was Nate, and he was my everything growing up.” you can hear him sniffle above you and you subconsciously squeeze his tighter, wanting nothing more than to make the boy feel better.

“a little more than a year ago today i had to read his suicide note. everything in the world felt so unfair. i had to watch his family suffer and no words of comfort would fill the void that Nathan left. i guess uh since then i haven’t really been smiling a lot because i haven’t had much of a reason to.”

the thought of this made your heart hurt. “i’m sorry. i know what you’re feeling, i mean a little bit anyways. my mom was my best friend and it never felt like i got enough time with her. it’s terrifying how death happens so fast you know?”

he just nods in response, fighting back the lump in his throat as you speak. “one second i was watching The Office with her and laughing on the couch and the next i had to prepare a speech for her funeral. and you can never say enough in those few pages to encapsulate someone’s entire life. never”

you both feel a sense of heaviness as you sit in a more comfortable silence.

“what’s your favourite memory of Nate?” you ask, hoping to lighten the mood.

it seems to work because Matt immediately smiles. “it was in middle school and we went out to Mcdonald’s and decided to play the penis game.” he laughs softly. “we were practically just yelling the word penis in an almost empty restaurant and peeing ourselves over it” you laugh along too, the mere image of this is enough for you to find it funny.

“what’s your favourite memory of your mom?” he asks in return.

you think for a moment before landing on one specific one. “when i was 12 she taught me how to make her signature chocolate chip cookies. she was already diagnosed with cancer at that point and she was determined to leave her mark on the world in any way she could, including her many recipes. i didn’t know at the time that she was dying, and there was no way for me to. she was the happiest she had ever been and we had so much fun together, eating the chocolate chips while we waited for the cookies to bake”

“she sounds like a really good mom” he says, looking down at you.

“do you think we’re put on this earth for a reason?” you ask, you’re eyes now feeling heavy as you cuddle with Matt.

he takes a moment to respond. “i do. i just don’t know what mine is, or if we’re ever really supposed to have that figured out”

“it just sucks because currently, my reason to be on this earth is to be a supporting character in an interesting movie, and i don’t want that”

“so make your own movie” those words alone are enough for you to smile. you look up to him to see his eyes already on yours and you place a quick kiss on his lips.

“i like kissing you” you say sheepishly, both hands now under your own chin as you look up to him.

he smiles back.

knowing what you know now, the fact that he’s smiling at you—because of you, could make you melt.

“you should do it more often” he replies, looking at you with a new look in his eyes, one of admiration.

you didn’t see that look often, and when you did it was directed towards your best friend.

so you kiss him again. and again. and one more time for good measure. if you could, you’d be here forever, just like this.

“we should probably go back now, the sun looks like it’s about to start rising” you laugh. the last thing you want to do is leave but you don’t have much of a choice.

he sighs dramatically. “what if i just wanna stay here forever?”

you sit up now, looking down at him as you place a hand on his chest. “well that would simply be unrealistic”

it takes a lot for you to muster up the energy to stand up but you do, and you reach down to help the boy up.

the short walk to your cabin used to be a good thing, but seeing as you don’t want to leave the boy at your side, you’d be okay walking three miles to make it back.

you’re now at your cabin, directly outside of the door as you and Matt just stare at each other. neither of you want to leave, but you both know that this night needs to come to an end eventually.

he places his hands gently on your waist, almost as if he’s testing the waters, but by the way your arms immediately wrap around his neck he knows he made the right choice.

“goodnight Matt” you whisper in his ear, earning a simple “goodnight y/n” as he kisses your temple and inevitably lets you go.

you watch him walk away, screaming silently the moment he’s out of sight—fighting every urge in your body to jump up and down like one of your campers at the mere thought of tonight.

a/n: this feels so incredibly long but i finally finished part 2!! part 3 will be the longest one so if you didn’t get a snack for this chapter you’ll want one for the next

taglist: @inlovewithmattstur @lolasnoww-blog @tastesousweet @ivypoison @disturbedwoodelf @sturnswift @junnniiieee07 @ellie-luvsfics @sturnified @alicejwebster @s7urnfilms @madsdogst @justlivinglive @sluttycupsworld (some users didn’t work to add)



#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #sturniolo #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo oneshots #matt sturniolo headcannons #matt sturniolo fanfic #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo triplets smut #sturniolotriplets fanfic

[jae-birde]

This was supposed to come out weeks ago, but I got stuck in the editing process and then I got sick… so yeah, this took a while. But now it's done!

This is also cross-posted on AO3 here.

This fic is dedicated to both @somerandomdudelmao and @tapakah0, both of whom are incredibly talented and huge inspirations to me, both in terms of writing and in drawing, so thank you both so much.

Anyways, spoilers up to chapter 16 of Cass' Apocalypse series.

Donnie was standing in the middle of a crowd.

It was safe to say that he was very much not used to being surrounded by such crowds, even in the Resistance. He was never the one that everyone would crowd around; that was always Leo or Raph or Mikey or April or… literally anyone but him. Even considering that, and even thinking about the few times people did crowd around him, there was something very different about this one. Something off.

He looked around. He could tell that they were talking — their mouths were moving, and sound was certainly coming out — but it was indecipherable, and none of the people had a distinct form, which was quickly beginning to become very unnerving.

Donnie looked around, and a tug in his gut had him scanning the crowd for his brothers.

"Mikey?" He called out. "Leo! Where the fuck are… you…?" Donnie trailed off, frozen at the sight of the pink veins covering his hand. His hands, actually.

"What…?" His mind was suddenly thrust backwards — or was it forwards? — in time, remembering when he'd first seen signs of the infection.

The infection.

"No! No, no, no, no, no…" Donnie couldn't help the desperation in his tone, his horror growing as he watched and felt the infection creeping through his veins, killing him all over again. Only this time, it didn't give him the mercy of time, the pain instead seeming to flood his senses. He sucked in a sharp breath and felt it get caught in his throat. He felt the way the virus weakened him, sapping his strength like poison as it happened all over again. He closed his eyes at the wave of pain that crashed over him, a sick feeling settling in his gut.

His legs gave away, and he dropped to the ground with a groan, one hand out to catch his fall, the other wrapping around his stomach as a pain shot through it. The pink was all over him now; he could see it. It seeped into the ground around him, trying to pull him down with it. He opened his eyes, looking up at the crowd desperately.

"Please— I—" Donnie stopped, staring at the crowd around him.

They all stared back.

"Why are you…?" He trailed off, looking around, hoping to see any sign of someone moving to help.

No one moved.

"…Just looking…?"

The crowd hovered around him, indistinct forms still murmuring incomprehensible words. The pink of the virus encompassed him, and he felt himself growing weaker with every second, pain wracking his body as he sunk lower onto the ground.

"You're already dead," one voice said, seemingly coming from everywhere at once.

They're the first words he heard that weren't his own since he found himself in this crowd, and they made it feel as if the world was crashing down on him.

"What's the point?" Another asked, voice void of emotion as it echoed around him.

Donnie stared at them, uncomprehending. "But… I'm not?" He tried to push himself up, but his arms trembled and gave out under him, and he collapsed again, strength weakening by the second.

"Not… yet… Donnie closed his eyes, tears stinging at them as he lay there, forcing himself to take breath after shuddery breath.

This poison had practically consumed him. It had sapped away his strength until he could barely move.

And he didn't particularly want to.

The crowd's murmuring had silenced, but he could still feel their presence around him, their forms towering over his prone one.

Donnie couldn't open his eyes. He felt a tear track down his face as he lay still, letting the pain, cold, and exhaustion wash over him and sweep him away. He couldn't do anything now. He was overwhelmed by the pain and misery caused by the infection. There wasn't anything that could be done at this point anyway; he was too far gone. There was an insistent tug around him, pulling him into the ground.

You are dead after all, a voice whispered in Donnie's mind. It's just bringing you to where you belong.

And Donnie didn't have the strength to fight it anymore.

But then he didn't have to.

He was being carried. It was a familiar enough feeling to him, his brothers and sister all having done it at one point or another for him, but this hold was different. Familiar in a way that he was clinging to, even before he realized who it was. And then, all at once, Donnie recognized who it was.

Leo.

Donnie nearly cried at feeling his brother's arms holding him again; he would recognize his twin's hold anywhere. He felt safe in his brother's arms in a way he hadn't felt for a long time. He knew that Leo would keep him safe. Donnie felt himself go slack in Leo's arms before he felt a gentle weight on his head and cracked his eyes open.

And there was Mikey, floating just in front of him, dark hair obscuring most of his face, but his little brother's sad smile was visible.

There was a glow around Mikey, a pale orange that was nearly white, that seemed to emanate from him in an aura. There was soothing warmth pouring from Mikey's touch that chased away the freezing cold of the Krang infection, and Donnie felt himself leaning into the sweet, blessed relief, despite the memories poking at his consciousness, whispering in his ear that it wouldn't help. Mikey had tried everything he could before; all it ever did was leave Mikey more tired than before. It wasn't worth it. Donnie didn't want his brother to feel that not when he'd just found him again.

"You know… that won't really help…?" Donnie trailed off despite himself, lost in an odd mix of pain and relief as the warmth of Mikey's mystic powers seeped through his veins, chasing away the cold of the virus in a way that Donnie had never felt before.

"Hm… yes." Leo mused, and Donnie felt a stab to his heart from hearing his brother's voice for the first time since he died.

Mikey's hand glowed brighter, and Donnie felt the mystics wash over his body. The pink that had nearly covered his hand turned white, and Donnie reached for his brother, desperate to hold onto Mikey's hand while he still could.

"Yes," Mikey continued, taking Donnie's hand in his own and squeezing tightly, his other hand gently holding the side of Donnie's face.

Donnie felt Leo gently rub his shell, and he relaxed further into his brother's hold, smiling up at Mikey, tears in his eyes.

"We do," Mikey concluded, the glow from his hands growing brighter before Donnie was left blinking from the brightness of it.

And suddenly, he wasn't looking at his brother anymore. He wasn't being carried.

His eyes shot fully open, and he sat up, eyes darting around his desk as he remembered where — and when — he was. Coffee mugs were grouped to the side, and paper notes were scattered across the desk's surface. Glowing purple screens were the only thing illuminating the otherwise empty room.

Donnie straightened up, rubbing at his eyes before dragging his hand down his face as his posture slumped. Mikey and Leo were still out there.

He looked up at his screens.

He just needed to find them.

Besides. Death was fixable after all.

#tmnt #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #cass apocalyptic series #cas fic tag #(idk what to tag this with) #cas fanart tag #cass fanart tag #(technically) #donnie tmnt #future donatello #leo tmnt #future leonardo #mikey tmnt #future michelangelo #i meant to finish this weeks ago #but then i got sick #but now it's done! #and here it is! #tmnt fic #rottmnt fic #jae's fics

[findafight]

I've seen some people put together some headcanons for Vickie and thought I'd share some of mine!! I love her so much Vickie my beloved blorbo...

First and foremost: truckgirl Vickie truckgirl Vickie truckgirl Vickie!!!!!! She drives a burgundy 1977 GMC Sierra she fixed with her dad over summer of '84, and she loves it. It's her baby. She has probably seriously considered becoming a mechanic as a career, and she loooves getting her hands dirty.

Has definitely named her truck. Can do that cool trick on flat roads where, if you shift gears smoothly, the car will keep rolling without gas! She uses this to woo Robin!! I know it in my heart!!!

I saw a post ages ago about drag racing in Hawkins because there's nothing else to do in bumfuck nowhere and tbh I see Vickie doing that too. Maybe her and Steve have bonded over driving fast or what have you?

She can do french and Dutch braids on herself, but gets a bit mixed up when trying to do others!

Her clothing aesthetic is sort of all over the place but she loves patterns. Classic patterns like houndstooth and paisley or more modern colour block or squiggly patterns. She probably mismatches patterns but colour coordinates.

I also think she likes long heavy skirts in winter, and sundresses in summer. Jeans and trousers are good but don't have the same patterns. Probably owns a few coveralls for working on cars. I see her rocking an overall look too. Anyways point is she's cute cute cute!

Idk if I want her to have siblings or not maybe she's either an eldest or the family baby?

Listen...I would probably say this even if Amybeth wasn't in AWaE...but also. Vickie loves Anne of Green Gables. The sense of wonder and delight in everyday things really speaks to her. She's a simple small town girl, and sometimes it's complicated but sometimes it really isn't.

She knows she likes girls, but it's easier to only like boys. So even though she's had crushes on girls before she hasn't really done anything about them until she got a crush on and started getting vibes from Robin!

She thinks Robin is funny and charming. Like Robin will blurt out some sassy remark and Vickie have to stifle a giggle. Robin says goodnight to her trumpet as she puts it away and Vickie is like 😍😍

Lots of people whisper about Robin and Steve being weirdos but Vickie thinks they're cute! Yeah maybe they're incomprehensible in terms of whatever their deal is, but Vickie is entranced by this odd behaviour and wishes to know more. When stobin have silent conversations solely through eye contact and eyebrow movement at bizarre times Vickie's first thought is not "what is wrong with these freaks?" (derogatory) it is "what is wrong with these freaks?" (wants to put them in a jar)

#vickie stranger things #robin buckley #rockie #rovickie #robin x vickie #stranger things #robickie #finda's rambles #i love her!!! #literally i know its not going to happen but i WILL be upsetti if vickie isnt a car/truck girl like thats who she is to me

[asordinaryppl]

A3! Seasonal Event - The GRIM REAPER CIRCUS: Epilogue - An Incomprehensible Existence

Citron: What a wonderful event this was~! The balloon release in the finale was a great success, too!

Muku: All those colorful balloons taking to the sky… It was really romantic and beautiful!

Izumi: It seems the visitors enjoyed everything thoroughly, from the stage and the performances, to the puzzles. Everything was very well received!

Omi: Leading the visitors around while giving them hints was pretty fun.

Chikage: And I’m glad it seemed they enjoyed solving the puzzles.

Director: Thank you so much, everyone! It was one of the best, most exciting events ever!

Director: Even I couldn’t take my eyes off your characters. Your performances were amazing!

Tsumugi: Thank you very much.

Director: I’d like to thank you as well, so how would you like a stroll around the amusement park?

Muku: Is that alright?

Director: Of course it’s alright. Obviously, considering the overall state of the park, the Ferris Wheel and the merry-go-round are inoperable, but you’re welcome to take photos!

Citron: How nice! Omi, do you have your camera?

Omi: Of course I do. I’ll make sure to take some great pictures.

Tasuku: Let’s accept the Director’s offer, then.

Izumi: Let’s do that. Get changed, and then we’ll all go exploring!

-

Chikage: Even when you’re just walking around, the atmosphere doesn’t change. No wonder it’s so popular.

Muku: Right…! I hope this place becomes more popular through the tour and this event, and more people visit it.

Citron: I can see the merry-go-round! Let’s take a picture over there, everyone.

Omi: Sounds good. Then, gather over there. And~ Say cheese!

[click]

Izumi: I’ll take the next picture. Omi-kun, get in there!

Omi: Is that alright? Thanks.

[click]

Citron: Muku, let’s pose together near the Ferris Wheel!

Muku: Okay!

[click]

Chikage: Those are some nice smiles.

Omi: Alright, that was the best shot.

Citron: As expected of Omi! I’ll post this on Inste!

Tsumugi: Ahaha, everyone’s so excited.

Tasuku: …

Tsumugi: Tasuku? What’s wrong?

Tasuku: … What was the clown you were talking about back then?

Tsumugi: Eh… You’re still thinking about that?

Tasuku: Of course I am. You were alone in that forest…

Tsumugi: It was the clown I played with when I got lost back then.

Tsumugi: I just remembered that too… Back then, when I got lost, it was you who found me.

Tsumugi: If I’m not wrong, you also got scolded by the teacher along with me… I felt so bad.

Tasuku: So that’s what happened… And that’s what you were talking about before?

Tasuku: I get the situation, but what was that person up to? Maybe they were trying to take you away somewhere.

Tsumugi: It didn’t seem that way to me. He said he just wanted to scare me a little.

Tsumugi: So, he was probably not a Shinigami. Maybe some ghost, or a phantom…

Tsumugi: In any case, I think it’s best we leave the clown’s identity a mystery.

Tsumugi: Maybe it’s a good thing you didn’t encounter him. You’re scared of clowns, right?

Tasuku: Don’t mix the past and the present.

Tasuku: Good grief… How do you always get yourself into such surreal situations?

Tsumugi: You’re one to talk.

Chikage: I see… So that’s what happened.

Tsumugi: Chikage-san?

Tasuku: Utsuki?

Chikage: I felt some unpleasant presence surrounding me today, and I was sort of uncomfortable… But it seems the mystery’s been solved.

Tasuku: You heard what we were talking about… didn’t you.

Chikage: Only bits and pieces.

Tsumugi: You can feel these kinds of presences, Chikage-san?

Chikage: I wonder.

Tasuku: As usual, I can’t tell whether you’re lying or saying the truth…

Tsumugi: Hehe, neither can I.

Citron: What are you three doing? Hurry up and get over here!

Tsumugi: Ah, okay!

Chikage: Yes, yes.

Tasuku: Yeah, we’re coming.

previous episode | masterpost

NOTES:

(1) a shinigami is a god of death, pretty much close to the western grim reaper (wikipedia)

#a3! #translation #a3! translation #citron #chikage utsuki #muku sakisaka #omi fushimi #tsumugi tsukioka #tasuku takato #izumi tachibana

[dackychansworldofhoshino]

Ello!

As some of you may notice, This is a new account!

I got logged out of my old Account and now I can't save or get back in:( so yeah that's it with that account! Wich is why I'm starting over basicly so please Follow me and reblog do that everyone knows! my old account was@dackychansworldofhoshinos

So yeah pls follow and reblog so I can become mutals and friends with everyone again

I tried to find everyone but I couldn't so here are some from an old post I could copy of

:@cartoonist1004@unearthlore @lin1feeling @icedfire87 @killerqueen58 @slowlykawaiidreamland @skzosh@meerealsssss@momochimchim@moonysfavorietoastt@littlemissartemisia@daratinavest@artflood@eddies-spaghetti@crepersfunpaloozafunpalooza@starlightdreamer58044@tzuyu132132@arrxdrawinffourlive@clownpalette@alphaomega-wol

@catinasink @pizza-feverdream @lady-stardust-incarnate@starmanlupinn@puffpastrycrimewatch @theblackat333 @spae-roc@autism-criminal@yourfavoriteforrest@ineedtherapyofc@jellyseal @godofwines@thedarkestephilim@vintagemiserie @m3l0man14c14c@lexxthekapibara@alexthescaredenbyy @shrimpysstuff @vampiricsolitudep@flamtiger77 @michaud-joshua-x1496 @pinkpupppp @dreamcloud12 @unniebeans@genesisfurr@sauljudgeman@halfawitchwinterter@mrseekr@dookthecaoscaos @davidthespiderr@shaibonbonon @foxundermoon @gojosatouruusagisana @xxx-ang3l-w1th-a-sh0tgun-xxx @that-weird-kid-from-your-schoo

@kananri@incomprehensible-screaming @clear-chaos-collection@snakeinabaggl@thatotherman0011 @thatonepizzaman@senpa10

@monsterartt

#art

[daisychainsandbowties]

avatrice & books

// turning this into a whole post bc it got LONG. ty anon who asked these questions

who prefers audio and/or digital books over physical?

out of necessity they have a LOT of digital books. Cam actually dumps her whole contraband collection in Bea’s inbox while she & Ava are still en-route to Switzerland, so that Bea’s new phone lights up on the seat beside her & it’s the first thing that relaunches her brain like a crashed excel document, because Ava’s drooling onto the leg of her pants with her body curled up across two seats. all the lights in the train are down low, & she gets an email from Cam (on the OCS extranet) with the subject line “don’t tell Mom :)))”.

headcanon is that Cam has been selling literary contraband in cat’s cradle for years (in true Camila style with a barter system where she gives people pages she printed off on the admin office’s old printer & they give her things like ‘interestingly-shaped bullet fragments’ and ‘bags of Haribo starmix with a preferential ratio of love hearts and cola bottles to bears & rings’)

so yeah, Cam has a little online archive hidden away on the OCS servers, & Bea spends the journey to Switzerland reading a digitally dog-eared file of miscellaneous philosophy papers, which Cam has been grabbing for her because it’s like Beatrice catnip. and it becomes a little habit for Cam to walk into Bea’s room at cat’s cradle to find her doing crunches with the lights off. Cam doing the sibling thing where she flicks the light switch on and off five times until Beatrice stops and just lies on the floor with arms akimbo, scowling:

‘leave me alone Camila.’

‘okay, broody bones, guess you don’t want this paper i found called ‘do holes exist?’

cue Bea coming down to breakfast the next morning STILL furious, squinting angrily at the straw in Mary’s smoothie until Mary asks if she needs to put it into protective custody.

she reads it again on the train because she wants to be angry over something stupid. she reads the essay that made Cam spend a week hiding in the apse and saying ‘i’m batman’ whenever Beatrice went inside - Nagel’s ‘what is it like to be a bat?’ and she reads a bit of Beckett because she really does find ‘Waiting for Godot’ funny, & then she reads her old favourites which she has printed and folded in her drawer in cat’s cradle

she LOVES Kepler’s astronomica nova because he has all these asides in it, and Bea chuckles aloud in the train carriage as she always does when she remembers reading first about Kepler writing “ah, what a foolish bird i have been!” & when her head hurts from reading the original Latin she switches to Carl Sagan’s cosmos, reading about Kepler again, feeling it in her chest:

“Kepler was a brilliant thinker and a lucid writer, but he was a disaster as a classroom teacher. He mumbled. He digressed. He was at times utterly incomprehensible… He was distracted by an incessant interior clamor of associations and speculations vying for his attention.”

beatrice & kepler &

“Geometry provided God with a model for the Creation… Geometry is God Himself.”

when Ava wakes up, Bea is reading the Lewis & Lewis holes article for the third time, & Ava jolts a bit because she looks real mad, and kind of devastated, but then Bea smiles at her & Ava says:

“what’s wrong?”

“nothing, nothing.” a pause, “i just… holes are full of the substance they create an absence in.”

“i think i need a croissant before you explain that to me”

Bea prefers physical books. she likes the smell of them, and the feeling of holding the words in her hands, and how you can leave a bookmark inside of a book and feel suddenly and profoundly like you are alive, putting an ellipses straight into the world ‘…. to be continued’.

it’s why she likes Cam’s dumb print-offs even if Camila has long-since convinced the ink cartridge that it is not, in fact empty but it definitely is getting there. even though sometimes the words are shaved off and she has to infer the full shape of sentences - and if she does, well, it’s kind of like sudoku & it’s a bit like learning song lyrics off the radio where, very occasionally, the words you mishear are better than the real ones.

but she does appreciate the search functions on the digital books & papers & the fact that she can screen reader things when her eyes are tired but her brain is not, (& Cam is very good at making sure that the PDFs she sends are screen reader accessible)

she doesn’t like audiobooks because she wants to put the emphasis where her brain thinks it should go, and even with the speed turned up there’s just a difference between her reading speed and the narration. & yeah, the auditory processing sometimes is not cooperating, never mind that her ears ring sometimes from hearing too many gunshots. there’s a reason the OCS has a deal with a hearing specialist bc if you retire, you’re going to have damage to your eardrums. a ringing aftershock of violence.

they both love dog-earing books and leaving little notes in the margins of, underlining things with intention so that the pen breaks through the paper; with mass-market paperbacks there’s no reason not to, though it takes a while for it to happen.

Ava is at first very tender with every object they own. she bawls her eyes out when she drops a glass in the kitchen one night because her fingers are tired and sore from doing finger strikes all day. Bea finds her there sort of curled up on her haunches, and quietly sweeps up the glass from around her, gently leads her around it because she’s in bare feet.

later, on the sofa, Ava tells her through tears that she has never had stuff that she picked out herself, and the glasses with the little bumblebees on them were hers, and now there are three of them instead of four. & Bea is a bit overcome by how sacredly Ava holds everything, for all that she doesn’t believe in any god.

Ava i think really likes audiobooks because you can do other things while you listen to them! so like, i imagine in the Switzerland era Ava is doing a thing where she’s trying to figure out what stuff she likes doing. so she gets painting supplies & some sheets of A3 paper & she puts on audiobooks while she experiments with colours.

she listens to books at night because Beatrice goes to sleep kind of early & she’s always like ‘oh no, you can leave the light on’ but actually she needs the light off and Ava knows it so instead she lies in the dark with one earphone in listening, on the one hand, to Beatrice mumbling in her sleep and also to whatever book she has & sometimes she takes out the fold-up ruler that she found in a charity shop & folds it and unfolds it and folds it again just to keep her hands busy.

but she also likes physical books because (once Beatrice assures her that it’s okay to write in them & damage them because they’re things and they’re hers and they’re meant to be loved in the way that feels best) she likes writing silly little notes in the margins, or things she wants to look up even though her phone is right there because if she google searches she’ll spend an hour not reading her book.

it makes her feel present & good to leave marks on the books even if it’s ‘ava silva was here’ because she thought she would leave only the smallest impression on the world for so long but now she has her own dirty plates to clean up and she has to pick her clothes off the floor and they have a small stack of very carefully-chosen paperbacks with dog ears and yellow highlighter marks and blue pen in the margins.

what do you think their weird book opinions & peeves would be?

Beatrice will go on a ten-minute tirade about how long it takes for mass-market paperbacks to come out these days. she HATES the fact that all books seem to get released in 25 euro hardcovers, because she spent her teenage years getting books from the second-hand store when the students were allowed to visit the nearby village & she kept an ever-expanding stack of old yellowing paperbacks on top of her chest of drawers, and she adores the feeling of the wafer-thin pages, the smell of them, even gross stuff like spots of blood on the pages from where people accidentally pressed an open cut down over a sentence.

the too-white pages of many modern books, and their thick, almost laminate feeling drives her up the wall. she loves second-hand bookstores and the way the books are stacked all haphazardly, to the ceiling, and they are 1 or 2 euros so you can get a stupid stack of them & pay with a crumply note and take them home and feel full for days.

Ava gets impatient with fiction that doesn’t feel real to her. overly-constructed stuff & characters who could never be real people. she likes messy narratives and non-linearity and she wants to know about the characters more than anything, because people fascinate her.

she likes books with plenty of dialogue, but also really appreciates introspective narratives & beautiful language & writers who can make her really feel like she’s there, and communicate alien experiences.

what are genres and/or tropes they absolutely will not read and/or are very picky about? what are genres & tropes they love?

well, obviously Beatrice loves non-fiction. she reads textbooks, she reads academic papers, she reads very old foundational texts in science & biology & philosophy because Beatrice really really likes understanding things.

one of the first books Cam sends her, which gets dumped right into the “broody bones’ library <3” subsection of the server, which Bea has a login for and everything, is Biology of Spiders by Foelix Rainer, & another file that just has about 3000 images of different spiders pulled from an internet search, so that Beatrice can swipe through them at her leisure (she can name-drop a terrifying number of them just by looking at the pic)

she adores Carl Sagan’s Cosmos (& even gets Ava to watch the TV series, which is not hard because Ava gets fully 0 _ 0 when Bea goes on sleepy rants about space). & ofc she has A Brief History of Time, but she gravitates too towards modern books on astronomy, and likes especially The Disordered Cosmos by Chanda Prescod-Weinstein because it is doing a lot of things & it makes her cry a few times. she reads a lot of very old astronomy papers too. again drawn to that line from Monsignor Lemaître:

“the believer has perhaps the advantage of knowing that the enigma has a solution, that the underlying writing is, when all is said and done, the work of an intelligent being, therefore that the problem raised by nature has been raised in order to be solved.”

she likes that. the world as a puzzle god put in her hands, though before it felt more like He had put a shovel there & told her to dig a grave (but not who the grave might be for).

with Ava, reading under the awning of the bar on her break, she feels like the puzzle has come back again and it is intricate; that maybe something as simple as a body might unlock it.

on that note, Beatrice also loves loves loves science-fiction. she grew up reading second-hand stuff. very weird, but very thoughtful. Dune and  Solaris and Flowers for Algernon and The Dispossessed. when Cam sends her the more modern stuff she devours things like The Three-Body Problem by Liu Cixin and Annihilation by Jeff Vandermeer and also the Murderbot Diaries.

many others, but as a genre she’s drawn to it because it is often very profoundly human. & she still remembers reading the Star Wars Jedi Apprentice books in her room at boarding school, & how fun they were, and how even in the strangest places with the premise that everything is so, so different, there is a humanity that reasserts itself.

it suits the gentle texture of the faith that Beatrice actually has, which is not the faith of hard church benches and prayers before bed and holding her hand too close overtop of a votive candle. her faith is very soft, and it is about marvelling at the world, worrying about it, being tender towards it.

sci-fi does that for her. it says much in the way of ‘even if everything were different, the best and worst parts of us would remain the same. there will never be a point in history where we do not have to deal with what we are.’

i think she also likes poetry, and just weird good books that make you feel things. i think at some point in those two months she reads Autobiography of Red, remembering herself on the train and staring staring staring at the line “sometimes a journey makes itself necessary.”  

looking back and thinking that sometimes a girl makes a journey necessary, thinking of being shipped off to boarding school because of a girl and now shipped off to Switzerland again but with a girl. thinking of necessity, and the small ways in which she has managed to alter the meaning of that word.

other lines that strike her

“This would be hard

for you if you were weak

but you’re not weak”

“Well Goodnight Then they said and drove him up/ Those hemorrhaging stairs…Don’t want to go want to stay Downstairs and read.”

she likes Anne Sexton, too

reading “Sylvia’s Death” & knowing that it’s about something else but also thinking about her sisters. about lilith, especially.

“Thief —

how did you crawl into,

crawl down alone

into the death I wanted so badly and for so long”

the only genre she’s not going to read ever probably is crime/ thrillers, because not only does she just constantly have a little voice in her head going

wrong, wrong, wrong.

no it doesn’t work like that.

wrong.

you just broke both your legs.

that is not how you fire a gun

some of it just sits too close to the bone for her & it’s bad enough that she has her own memories of real-world bad things happening without reading about it. possessed people ripping each other to pieces, bodies in the streets.

the OCS visited enough murder scenes on the trail of demons to make Beatrice capable of smelling, all over again, what happens to a room after a person has been dead in it for several hours.

so she just doesn’t want to read any crime or really most mystery novels (she’s too smart for them, sees things choreographed or else dislikes when things aren’t choreographed at all). she has attended too many autopsies to want to read about them either.

i think Ava reads VERY widely. she loves reading plays & acting them out in the apartment. she has her own little library on the OCS extranet too, & she downloads all of Shakespeare’s stuff & puzzles through it and googles stuff but the pentameter makes sense to her & she loves sometimes how initially inaccessible it is to her because it feels good to unearth the meaning.

her favourite plays are Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf and sadly Beatrice does persuade her to read Waiting for Godot and she does kind of think it’s good.

Ava is the one who likes reading fantasy books. she adores The Hobbit & this somehow leads to her finding the ‘legless lego legolas’ post & she spends a whole afternoon laughing randomly until Beatrice finally gives in to her curiosity and she is just ‘…. oh, Ava’ when she reads the crappy screenshot version of it that Ava shows her.

my girl Ava obviously loses it a bit over the Frodo/Sam dynamic in lotr (she likes to perform the travelling songs ofc. Ava is like repressed theatre kid energy fr) & Beatrice (happily) listens to her talk about Frodo and Sam for a whole half hour one evening while she chops vegetables.

Ava just really likes adventure stories & stories where characters are thrown together on a quest and become friends.

she’s obviously embarrassingly a sucker for the friends-to-lovers trope in fiction, but she also just enjoys stories about friendship because she’s had so few experiences of that in her life. she has  Beatrice and she kind of has Cam & everyone else doesn’t feel like a friend, exactly. Ava reads the Red Sister trilogy by Mark Lawrence and vibes so much with Nona Grey because of her wild and speechless loyalty to her friends (& yeah, the Sister Apple & Sister Kettle romance and the start of book 2 made her extremely giggly).

she also loves The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin bc the thing at the start of the book that goes “for all those who have to fight for the respect that everyone else is given without question” - Ava FELT that. & just the parallels for her in that book were very powerful. plus plate tectonics magic slaps.

& yeah, Ava is really interested in magic systems. she likes what they reveal about the worlds they exist in, and how they shape the narrative, and also just the rlly cool ones & the weird cheeky thrill of being like ‘….welp, i can do that too actually.’

Ava also really loves fiction with interesting characters and great dialogue and she loves description and colour and everything that pours life into art.

i’d say there isn’t much that Ava doesn’t like, but she isn’t huge into non-fiction because she MUCH prefers to just pester Beatrice about it, & have her voice explain things, and add her own little corrections and opinions with her cute smart smirk. and Ava thinks it is good for Beatrice to express her opinions on things.

she likes how Bea looks when she is Thinking and Processing, and also the excitement in her hands when she explains astrophysics or shows Ava a picture of a spider or tells her about obscure bits of architectural history, the banking system in Florence under the Medici, and all the knowledge she has been muffling with prayer.

Ava thinks that it is H O T but also important and Beatrice looks so free to her, and so good, when she is speaking on some subject with her eyes drifting freely around the room, always coming back to Ava, to her eyes, making sure she is still interested because Beatrice has been ignored so often, and stifled so often, but when she looks back Ava is always watching, and always listening.

so yeah! the girlies like to read & are very smart & i love them every day.

#warrior nun #avatrice #ava silva #sister beatrice #i really really really truly love them #this got soooo long but it's books and avatrice #two subjects that do not provoke brevity from me #casper writes

[cat-vase]

other thing similar to the bryce stuff that i think you may be interested in!

Owen was most likely interrogated by police about Liams disappearance since he was the last one to see Liam before he vanished (BOTH TIMES not counting bryce or the cashier+waiter in ep15), which means there’s the possibility of Owen being wrongly convicted… despite the fact that there may not be much evidence against him.

(same thing goes for Parker regarding Charlotte’s disappearance since he was AT HER HOUSE and had a reason to be mad at her, leading the police to believe he possibly murdered her over the money..?)

Someone pointed out to me once that it was likely Owen who REPORTED Liam missing in the first place! How else would the police know it was LIAM'S bike instead of... literally anyone else's? He probably got cleared of suspicion since there's likely outside security footage of Liam leaving the office alone (and Owen leaving alone, too!) Assumming this because... well. Everything has cameras everywhere nowadays.

But yeah!!! I'm sure he was questioned but since Liam literally disappeared into thin air, they couldn't find anything to convict him? Or anybody else, either? Or anything to use... to figure out where he was? Hence presuming him dead!!! Which sucks for Owen, especially if he finds out about the smokestack incident somehow (and that it happened BEFORE he saw Liam???), but what can you do!

But oh my god Parker. I have so many thoughts about Parker you have no idea. Not a lot of people talk about Charlotte I feel and even then, if they do they DON'T talk about Parker and that is a CRIME.

He saw her disappear in front of his eyes! Mid sentence! There was still dinner cooking in the kitchen and jazz playing on the TV! Wouldn't that send him into some sort of anxious spiral? Or psychotic break? Wouldn't he be unsure if she ever existed or not?

And his job is a brand associate! Wouldn't that make him in the public eye, at least somewhat? If he went crazy people would SEE and KNOW. He might be arrested on suspicion of murder? Or institutionalized? Or go off the grid? Maybe he starts to pay for her place and cover up her disappearance in order to try and investigate it! Maybe he searches every single forum he can online, stringing together other random disappearances of this nature whether or not they're actually connected! Maybe he takes something of hers to convince himself that yes, she WAS real! He can't tell anyone else in his friend group about this, of course. They'll think he did something to her, and he would never. He just wanted her to be okay. Is she okay, wherever she is? He hopes she's okay. He just wants her to come back. He's not mad about the money anymore. He's sorry he yelled. Please just come back. One day she has to, right? In the same manner she disappeared? He can't get rid of her place now, what if she came back and he wasn't there?

Maybe he posts incomprehensible ramblings on a website he makes in order to make sure he doesn't lose them, but also so he can stay anonymous. He goes on outings for days searching and never turns up any leads, of course. In the beginning his friends try to interact with him; they fear for his safety, he's so JUMPY, and he has an accident and falls in one of the caves they've been to a thousand times. He just gets more closed off after that. He becomes more and more like the person he's trying to find: No, he's FINE, he can find her on his OWN, he doesn't NEED help, he's perfectly fine and sane.

And maybe, if he's not locked up somewhere or done something to hurt himself, maybe he DOES see her come back someday. She's in a worse state than she left in.

But that's a whole different can of worms.

#evergreenights #hfjone #hfj one #SORRY THIS GOT OUT OF HAND. I HAVE SO MANY THEORIES ABOUT PARKER OK..... #sorry if this doesnt make sense i was at work then hanging out with friends!!! #but AHHHHH THEY MAKE ME SO INSANEEEEE #tldr parker and owen both lose their minds a little bit. just a little #one more severe than the other. but again. she was RIGHT THERE. #not tagging characters bc this is all over the place ahjabjh #i DID enjoy this thank u!!!!!!!! #ask

[racefortheironthrone]

Are you familiar with Peter Turchin’s work and if so, what are your thoughts? Is he considered a serious historian?

After researching this guy’s bio for a bit, I can say that he’s not a historian - his PhD seems to be in Zoology - and this whole cliodynamics business seems to be a discipline that he invented in a brazen act of academic columbusing/academic imperialism. Historians do not consider him a serious historian, and nor do I.

The problem with Turchin’s entire academic project is twofold: first, there is not enough data to do the kind of precision mathematical modeling that he purports to do. When it comes to pre-modern history, there are huge swathes of time and space and human experience for which we do not have records, either because the records didn’t survive to the present, literacy rates weren’t high enough to produce the desired types and levels of records, or the literate classes simply didn’t consider worthy of being written down. When it comes to modern history, things are a bit better because modern societies tend to produce written records at an incomprehensible volume, but here the problem is that the sheer mass of records plus certain specialized problems in library sciences that are too complicated to go into in this post (but I’ll explain if someone asks me) means that only a tiny fraction of these records are digitized, let alone digitized in a way that they can then be put into a database and modeled upon. As my old professor Eric Foner put it during new major orientation: “the difference between ancient history and modern history is that in ancient history you know all your sources but there aren’t any, and in modern history there are tons of sources but you don’t know them.”

Second, even if there was enough data, trying to accurately and meaningfully model all of human history is a futile endeavor. This is something that we discuss in introductory theory courses - the complex interplay of historical forces and individual agency/contingency, the literally infinite number of factors that influence human society and behavior, and so on. The historiography of ideas is littered with failed attempts to construct total theories of history - the Hegelians, the Marxists, the objectivists (which isn’t the same thing as Randian Objectivism, it’s complicated and I’ll explain in another post if anyone really wants to know), huge swathes of sociology but especially the structuralists, significant swathes of political science and psychology, and oh my god so many economists. It’s pretty much a cliche at this point for social scientists to say they were inspired to become social scientists by childhood dreams of becoming a psychohistorian like Hari Seldon. The problem is that psychohistory is science fiction, it’s not real, and it can’t be real because humans are too damn complex and contradictory. It is a massive red flag that Turchin has explicitly compared cliodynamics to psychohistory; it’s like when some Silicon Valley disruptor starts talking about how their latest project was inspired by their favorite sci-fi series.

So yeah, this guy seems like a total quack.

#history #theory #theory of history #historiography #quackery #psychohistory #academia #academic columbusing #history of ideas

[hannahwashington]

ive been working really hard to get a positive outlook on this whole thing. Like, "Oh! I get to reblog so many posts over again!" or similarly, "I could potentially hit the queue limit!" or, "Maybe I can repost a bunch of my art and fic for funsies!" or, "Now a whole three years worth of posts won't be untagged!" and even "Hopefully a good change can come out of this!"

I'm still very much mourning my old account and those seven, almost eight years of blogging. How there are certain posts on there I will never, ever see again. All the liveblogging that's gone, and how I'll never be able to recreate those experiences. The OC lore specific to their dedicated sides, forgotten. The inane rambling, those moments I become incomprehensible, the posts I never meant to get even a little popular (RIP OPLA South Africans post), Hell, even the posts I made literally right after coming out of wisdom surgery. How, even though I've found almost all of the blogs I followed previously (THANK YOU PAST ME FOR PURGING REGULARLY), there are around 20 that I may never, ever find again. My grief is only natural and God knows how long it'll last. I've been thinking about all of these things a lot.

But I think I'm gonna be okay. If I just think of the future, the fun I can have, the jokes I can make, the new friends to be found, the old ones who helped me through all this... Yeah, I'll be okay.

[brookheimer]

caseythoughts that aren't articulated at all this is just my things of note for the episode

tomshiv gaining the psychosexual incomprehensible immature power dynamic bullying of tomgreg while retaining tomshiv's unique vulnerability and weirdness and tiptoeing.... tomshiv steadily becoming relationship of all time ever maybe

kieran culkin emmy. kieran culkin emmy. kieran culkin emmy

roman i will kill and die for you you sad fuck. oh my god. romey. this is gonna get sooooo fucked u r gonna get sooooooooo bad

PILLS!!!!! pill shot pill shot -- ppl were saying the pills weren't relevant stop reading into things but PILL SHOT TWO.......... i am once again vaguely worried about roman randomly developing an drug addiction plotline bc two episodes in a row, i mean... they're goin somewhere w that. even if it's small. hoping it's small

matsson blood brick scene was like watching veep. no notes

told yall shiv be on the comeup. this episode her slay was so unparalleled even reddit dudebros couldn't find a way to paint it as a failure

roman not actually cutting shiv out at ALL until ken pushes him to... like every single time anything was happening he was liek wait where's shiv why isn't shiv here let's go talk to shiv while kendall stayed completely silent. every time. the entire episode was just me yelling at the screen SHIV ROMAN TALK TO EACH OTHER FOR ONCE

matsson the new kendall. kendall the new vaulter. going to post ab this tomorrow bc i am too high but by then there will be a million of em or smth. idc ill do it anyways

just as i thought the leaks wren't gonna come out this early -- just an allusion to them as they pile up in the background. that + mencken atn news

why is greg a character anymore. he's gotten the jonah treatment it's a little bizarre

con :((((((((((((((((((((

roman is so fucked. he is soooooo fucked

krank sauna slay

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh whaaaat else

OH MY GOD TOMSHIV RECONCILIATION YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! THEYRE SO CRAZY AND INCOMPREHENSIBLE AND PSYCHOSEXUALLY INSULTING EACH OTHER IN VAGUE BIZARRE METAPHORS!!!!!! BEST POSSIBLE ITERATION OF TOMSHIV EVER AND NOW RECONCILIATIONNNNNNNNNNN

ok that's all for now those are the caseythoughts have a wonderful sober night

#see u all tomorrow #thinking many thoughts #succession #succession spoilers

[actual-changeling]

Didn't mean to start anything in the comments with that message I sent on the Fandom making it difficult to like Aziraphale, but I feel like it's clearly demonstrating your point of people not actually reading what was said... No where did anyone mention disliking Aziraphale BECAUSE of the final 15, or because of any of his actions in the show... The message was clearly about how Aziraphale fans have responded to everything that has made me, not dislike him (bc I do still love him), but avoid a lot of content centered around him :/ while the final 15 did piss me off from an individual's perspective, it did make me like Aziraphale more cause I was like 'Ohooo s3 is gonna be so juicyyyyy'... Anyways, don't feel you have to respond to this if you feel it'll just stir up more shit, but I appreciated your response to my first message, and was annoyed it was getting misconstrued

Nahh, don't worry, none of that is even remotely on you. It was only a matter of time before someone without basic reading comprehension was going to show up, I should have started a timer with how predictable it is at this point.

That's really what annoys me the most—people not even reading the post and immediately jumping down the OP's throat with a bunch of incomprehensible comments and insults. Like mate, one of us is trying to have a proper discussion and the other is the equivalent of a hangry toddler throwing toy blocks; we both know who is who.

But yeah, totally get you, and never feel afraid to send an ask. If you don't want me to answer it you can put it in it or send it on main so I can respond privately, but I really do not mind becoming the middle man for a discussion.

#alex answers asks

[icharchivist]

I follow an obscure character tournament and the other day fucking LAVI from d gray man showed up and somehow made it to round 2 and I was just like "now I know I'm biased bc Icha loves him but how the fuck did someone think Lavi was obscure??"

MY SWEET BOY

and you didn't even send me the post??? my boy :( the original liar boy

honestly dgm is Schrödinger-type obscure and popular depending purely if you've been online in the late 00s. because it was the peak of dgm's popularity and it was inescapable, however the popularity completely died down back to being extremely obscure these days. (i mean. Allen wasn't even CONSIDERED for the "tragic white hair boys tornament" as if he WASN4T THE MOST TRAGIC WHITE HAIR BOY EVER. he didn't go through the horrors to be ignored like this.)

also huh. from my experience in the 00s. Dgm was popular in European fandoms for sure, and of course Asian fandoms as well (can't talk about more) but i can say that, in the way back, i didn't know many American fans. And for cause, the manga has been extremely censored in the US to the point of becoming incomprehensible, due to its religious themes.

DGM was always one of the major best seller in France, but it was always an underground manga in the US for instance.

So dgm is in a bit of a difficult position when you want to discuss its popularity and the popularity of its characters.

Lavi is easy in the top three of the most popular character in the story as well, but the fact he disappeared from the plot 12 years ago (and even more tbh since he was already absent from the two arcs that preceeded him officially disappearing) has put him on the backseat of conversations in the fandom, usually replacing him with Link who, in the same timestamp, ended up basically replacing him in term of screentime. So it's kinda complicated because we all love him and all talk about him and we all want him back but those 12 years genuinely put a backseat to any worthwhile conversation about him and as a result other characters are much more on the foreground.

(also not to mention the amount of people who misinterpret him, but considering i wrote about 50k only about Lavi on this blog before i'm not exactly unbiased there)

But yeah i'm. i'm absolutely not a reference point here, i like a lot of obscure things, and dgm is just. really in a weird position there.

But tbh i think, as to put dgm on a poll, might as well going with actual obscure dgm characters. Like Johnny, who went from background character to main character in the past ten years. Or the Jasdebi twins, just for me, personally. OR KRORY (shout out to my Krory loving friend who always remind me why it's important to love Krory). Or Miranda. Or legit just. anyone other than the main four characters lmao.

.... but then again i'm a Lavi slut through and through so Lavi sweep.

#again like my username is because of Lavi i'm not a reference of how people are normal about Lavi-- #i've been fooling you about how popular dgm is it's like the 10 of us still hanging in being Hoshino's Patrons -- #ichareply #ichafantalks dgm #ihavenotfallenyet

[fareehaandspaniards]

Hey Faree! What made you fall in love with Micolash?

Thanks for funny Micolash pic! xD

I will try. It’s not that I haven’t wondered why I like him so much, but it’s somehow difficult to put it in words. Weeeell, let’s go

He is unusual and very different from the common understanding of a game boss - I know that Fromsoftwares already had bosses that you need to run after, battle with Dark Sun Gwyndolin for example, but Micolash... he is catchy. He makes fun of the player, howls at him, behaves absolutely incomprehensibly, laughs, mutters something right during the battle! I was very impressed with this on my first playthrough. He does not bow to us to show any respect, does not try to prove something, no, he is far from all this. He offers the hunter a way to rise to his level or die, without expecting that he himself will die (yes, he has lost his sanity a LiTtLe, but I believe that he is doing everything quite consciously). For him, a hunter is nothing more than a two-legged animal that can be made fun of (Phahaha, yes, I ship my hunter with Micolash. And my opinion is firmly)

By the way, the battle with him, in my opinion, is incredibly hot. Chasing your opponent into a corner while he teases you and keeps escaping your grasp? Yeah, that's what I enjoy

He wanted to meet Great Ones and not become their toy, but become their equal – quite an ambition, right? But he got what he wanted - he dwells right next to the Great Ones, and in his head he hears song of Kos. True, he would like even more - to become Great One, plant so much eyes on his brain, as it was with Rom. But we have what we have.

Also. Judging by what we have from the game information, he is an excellent leader (people won’t follow just any chaotic nerd, and Micolash has a whole School with questionable morals), an excellent scientist (despite the horror of his experiments, he was successful), an absolute asshole, and This is wonderful. I think he would agree with the phrase “The end justifies the means”).

I like the way he looks. He may be much more attractive in my drawings than he is in the game, but that doesn't mean I refuse to accept his canonical appearance. He is thin, scrawny, with greenish skin, black short curls, weak and frail as it may seem, but with a heavy fist, and, as I am sure, a very piercing gaze, and also a smile that gives you goosebumps. I like it. (Also I like his image of a scholar. The style of byrgenwerth uniform is incredible)

I'm aware of the atrocities he committed in the game, and I'm more than sensitive enough to imagine it all. But somehow he's amazing. After all, his name is adorable. I love the eclecticism of Bloodborne so much - a strange combination of different cultures.

He is a villain and is quite capable of the most incomprehensible and strange actions. At first, when I started getting into Bloodborne, it was difficult for me to understand Micolash (like WTF why man is running away and howling), although I liked him anyway хd Like, I couldn’t even write a line in a fanfic on his behalf - I didn’t understand how and what he would say? But by this moment I have a clear image of him in my head, so alive and interesting that it’s scary.

He's a charismatic, confident asshole, brilliant and ambitious in his own way. It's probably more of a headcanon, but I think he is also a brutally honest person. He is one of those people who will say what they think straight to your face, without hiding or concealing. This is what I appreciate in people, so it became the headcanon xD

He easily became my favorite; to be honest, I haven’t been so obsessed with fictional characters for a long time. Like, there was a thing, hyperfixations and all that, but it just hasn’t happened for a very long time.

I think that's all? Maybe I add something later in another post, my head is empty for now. Thank you, Odds, for question

#micolash host of the nightmare #bloodborne headcanon #ask #mutuals

[bohemian-nights]

I don’t know if you’re on twitter but the threads D*emyra shippers create on why she should be excluded from the show is😡

Like this one: https://mobile.twitter.com/barbie_comuna/status/1600893822182883333

I don’t know what’s more problematic them talking about racism against the Velaryons and using Rhaena to cyber yo their own racism towards N or creating these threads in general. It’s so telling how it’s incomprehensible for these people that D can be in love with N but him having paternal feelings towards her or sleeping with her without having any feelings towards her be stans of age difference is more acceptable to them.But really that’s how many fandoms see WOC anyway so it’s nothing new this one is like that as well I guess. And ofc Rhaena and the rest of the Velaeyons are the “acceptable type”of black fir them since they don’t affect their white ship in any way and serve them like the good black servants they are despite D/R disrespecting them and treating their kids and Laena’s kids like trash.🙄 Honestly I’m convinced even if D/R weren’t “romantic” (they love to make this excuse that the show making D/R young downhill will doom it imo)people would still be shipping them and/or D with someone of his relatives and would hate the thought of him getting with a non Targaryen.I mean look what’s currently happening with Aemond. The posts that go and on about Alys are very similar to the ones about Nettles.

I’m an old young person so the only social media platforms I use is this and Pinterest. Lol, yeah I’ve seen people post things from twitter and it’s a mess. Dead at them trying to pretend like they actually care about the racism the Black/Blackish characters have faced🙃

Them trying to replace Nettles with Rhaena is just pathetic at this point. It shows that you not only hate Nettles, but you don’t really care about Rhaena like you say you do.

Cause she has her own storyline that is going to play out, but you want her there because you know deep down that Daemon did not see Nettles as his daughter. It makes absolutely 0 sense to swap out Nettles for Rhaena and adds absolutely nothing to the story.

They can tolerate Black/Blackish women characters as long as they aren’t with their faves. Rhaena(and Baela) are fine cause they’re Daemon’s kids therefore they pose no threat to Daemyra(this ship has literally become my most hated ship due to the crazy fans it attracts).

Seeing Black/Blackish women in a more subservient or non-romantic roles is what they are used to. And like you said this happens in a lot of fandoms.

They are already trying to say that Rhaenyra is somehow the love of his life and they’ve got no chemistry so you know that Daemon and Rhaenyra would still be a thing even if it wasn’t canon. Take a look at Aemond and Helaena for reference.

Yeah the treatment of Alys is similar to Nettles. Some Hellman’s fans have linked up with some Dumbnyra stans and have taken to rewriting canon so that their hell ships can live on.

The only thing I can say about the Alys/Aemond situation is that they can’t deny canon like they do with Dumbnyra. Hellman’s is not in the book at all and is 100% made up cause they wanted Aemond to have an incest ship. Rhaena is right there people and it would make more sense, but you know why they don’t ship them 🫠

Bottom line is these shippers can’t stand to see Daemon “leave” their Targaryen queen for Rhaenyra 👸🏼for Nettles 👩🏾🐑🐉, a non-Valyrian(Black woman) character.

So they pretend like all the accounts(literally every account says they were/likely lovers) is not factual somehow. Yet nowhere does it state in the books that Rhaenyra is the love of Daemon’s life. Delusional I tell you.

Anyway for me it’s gonna be Nettles 👩🏾🐑🐉 and Alys Rivers 👩🏻 supremacy from here on out. I’m going to watch the break downs from salty (non canon compliant) shippers like this when we see them getting their men on screen

#no weapon formed against nettles shall prosper #nettles supremacy #house of the dragon #hotd #daemon targaryen #alys rivers supremacy #daemon x nettles #nettles x daemon #nettles asoif #nettles #alys rivers #aemond targaryen #rhaena targaryen #anti rhaenyra targaryen #anti daemyra #aemond x alys #hotd spoilers #hotd commentary #hotd ask #hotd take #ask #answered #bnhotdasks #bnhotdask #bnasks #bnask

[ryuseiired]

AAAAAA IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKED MY MAHIRU TAGS!! i feel like I've made the tumblr dream of someone screenshotting my tags, posting them, and saying "don't hide this in the tags!" Hsjdkfmfm but yeah, Mahiru has a lot of ingrained shit that needs help. I just hope she gets the chance to get it. I'm curious though, are there any of the prisoners that you think are beyond help? I don't know enough about Haruka to say for sure but personally... I'm sus of him lmao

YES OF COURSE !!! honestly i was really nervous the original post was like off-base and incomprehensible bc i wrote it all in one sitting at 4am haha so to see someone "yes, and also" it in the tags made me very happy as well :3

this is a fun ask actually because i love this question. bc i don't actually think any of them are beyond help, you know? i think any of them could be helped and could change and could be better people... but the question is, what would it require? how likely is it? part of getting help, too, is wanting to be helped. and then there's the unfortunate realism that, within the framework and confines of milgram... it's unlikely we can do anything to help them. take amane, for example: i think she's absolutely not beyond saving, but i also think you'd need to not only get her out of her previous environment but into a better more supportive one, with someone understanding and patient with her, where she can more gradually be guided through the difficult process of unlearning the cult teachings and mindset she grew up with. milgram is not that. milgram is scary and unfamiliar and built to simply punish or not punish for a specific crime. so realistically, while i think amane could be helped, i don't think anything we vote can fully help her. innocent or guilty, either way will not change her beliefs currently because of the situation.

you mention haruka specifically and i kind of agree that he's "beyond help" as far as it being like... milgram can't help him. we can't help him. i don't think haruka is a completely lost cause or anything and i absolutely believe he could be helped, but in order to do that... you'd need a way to say literally anything to him OTHER than either "you're unforgivable" or "murder is ok". situations like how he is in trial 2 put you between a rock and a hard place, where your options are either to hurt him and reject the positive change he has made by becoming better able to talk with others, or to... affirm the belief that actually murder is fine and he never did anything wrong.

basically. i don't think anyone's "too far gone" or beyond help, necessarily? but i do think there's definitely limits to whether or not they are able to get what they'd need in order to be helped and how easy it'd be to help them, and i think there's absolutely certain characters where whatever we do in milgram just... unfortunately can't address the core issues they have.

#asks #sylviaarkaine #milgram