#yeah she's alive but it still hurt

[amaraudermind]

Something something Bruce love Gotham because it's his home, jason loves Gotham because it's in his soul, Duke loves Gotham because it's his family, Steph loves Gotham on purpose

#the void screams #duke thomas #bruce wayne #jason todd #stephanie brown #each member of the batfam having a complicated relationship with gotham is something that can be so personal- #but yeah bruce loves gotham because this is where his family has always lived. leaving would mean leaving them behind. #he loves gotham because it's the only home he's ever known #i don't know what fucked up tether there is between gotham and jason. compells me though. #even when he leaves he can't stay away along. gotham's in his head. in his soul. it's where he's alive and it's where his life is drained #the people of gotham are duke's family and he wants to protect them the way they've always tried to protect him #the city is the people and duke knows these people. he's one of them. he's seen what they go through to survive because #he goes through it too. he loves gotham because it's his whole world. his family. and he'll protect that family #until he dies. #steph though? steph grew up here and hated it. hated the city. resented the people. resented the heroes. #and still every fibre of her being goes into loving this city. into hoping for it. #on purpose. she's going to love this city on purpose. even when it hurts. even when she'd rather die. #even when the whole CITY turns against her. time and again. because she's already decided. #she's going to love gotham. even if gotham never loves her back. #don't mind me i am just rambling nonsensically. i am right though by the way. it doesn't make sense but it's Correct

[c1nn4-bunny]

That thing I was working on huehuehue

Now never let me do this again

^ (has so many things he wants to animate)

It's also there I guess:

But why would you?

Separated GIFs of the goobers

The thing I used to switch my aPNG to a gif did NOT like the fact her limbs were translucent as you can see

#W. WHAT DO I TAG THIS HAVE I POSTED VIDEOS BEFORE? #c1nn4bunny.mp4 #I GUESS THATS WHAT IM USING #uhm uhm im not fandom tagging this because im scared of Living Fandoms <333 #and that one is. Very Alive. <3 #yes the english lyrics are altered let me be silly okay. the kanji is still the correct lyrics though #Conly hurt like a mfer to animate but god i am so proud of how her little dance came out #also since you're in the tags reading this you get to know my reasoning behind dog conly. #come close. ... Border Conllie. She's a border collie. they're a breed common in british countrysides. and the fur pattern matches her core #do you. do you SEE the vision. do you SEE IT #anyway yeah #if my one contribution to the fandom is this then i will be completely okay with that

[gierosajie]

Thinking about how there's a lot more ghosts wandering Mondstadt in the Archon Dvalin AU than usual because Venti is usually the one sending off spirits into the afterlife and well. he's kinda stuck on that side post-Cataclysm

At first there weren't any because they just followed Venti, but afterwards there were some that still lingered and the number just kept piling up over the centuries. Many did eventually go on their own, but there's just more that didn't want to or simply couldn't

Dvalin doesn't know how to send them off, no one really showed him how and he doubts that even if he knew, he probably couldn't. Still, whenever a spirit decides to show themself, he stays with them for a bit, just to alleviate their burdens even a little and maybe help them find enough peace

It's probably another thing that eats at him alive because he couldn't even help those that he failed to protect, no matter how much most of them say it isn't his fault

And then, after the whole reconciliation with Celio thing, one of the lingering spirits asks him for a song. Before, he might've gently turned down the request, but after everything, he decided he might as well

Dvalin starts singing an old song he loved. Singing it had been painful, once, considering it was made as a duet and having to listen to the silent answer just brought him nothing but grief. Now, there's a sort of peace to how the breeze and the sound of nature fill in the gaps and pauses.

Over the course of the song, more and more ghosts come to listen. By the end of it, Dvalin opens his eyes to see most of them disappear, not in terms of hiding away like usual but rather beginning to dissolve into light as they finally move on

The last one to leave was the one who requested a song. She turns to smile at him. "I suppose I can finally tell that bard how much you've grown," she says before finally dissipating into the wind

#anemo archon dvalin au #I wanted to post hurt/comfort so I dusted off one of my drafts and added the comfort part #anyway yeah the last ghost was from the Cataclysm and probably met Venti briefly when they were still both alive #and then she met him again as he was gathering up all the dead so they could go together #but then she takes one look at Dvalin looking absolutely miserable #and decides she ain't going to rest until she deems the poor guy to be doing fine #it took 500 years but y'know Mondstadters are a certain brand of insane sometimes #trying to watch over him as a lingering ghost kinda did the opposite effect tho but she tried her best #'what about the miasma and evils spirits that would appear due to all these ghosts tho?' you may ask #Idk copious amounts of seals and blessings and maybe the occasional exorcist that pass by #Venti's resentment and regrets were probably the only tatarigami that plagued Mond #and even then it just stayed around the vicinity where Venti died and took a while to even manifest #mostly due to whatever wackery is going on in Dragonspine + intervention from Andrius and Dvalin

[rescuefield-a]

so anyway i do like to think that by 2021 the t-phobos still lingering in claire's system has probably mutated, because with all the stuff she goes through between 2014 & 2015 ( as we know of ) let me tell you she would have been dead already

#i think it's funny bc t-p was originally studied to make immortal supersoldiers you know. it's supposed to keep the host alive #and in HI claire gets banged up pretty bad but still sort of walks it off compared to others #i'm not gonna touch on DI yet but yeah there's a bunch to say about that too #she's not immortal by any means bc we know already that project didn't work out BUT i do think it takes a lil more to hurt her now

[ephemeralgalaxies]

I think what hurts the most about Jiang Yanli's death is that she truly did want to understand her a-xian. She never gave up on him, even when everyone believed her husband's death to be wwx's fault. Even if she herself might have believed it, to some extent, she still wanted him to see her son. Upon hearing that he was at the conference after the death of the Wens, she put herself in the middle of the battle for a chance at reaching him one last time. Hell, when he first started showing signs of the "demonic cultivation" hurting him, she confronted LWJ (who wasn't even on talking terms with WWX at that point) about just how serious this would be on WWX and how to help. It was never about how "evil" WWX is now, how these methods could hurt the cultivation world. Rather, she just wanted to keep her little brother safe. She so desperately wanted to understand him, consulting the person she knew understood wwx best, the only one she could trust to simply want the best for wwx without judging him so fast. She really did want to try. She just never got the chance to tell her a-xian that.

#crying over jyl every day #she definitely wasn't perfect ofc but she really did love her brother #if she was still alive when wwx returned u know she would've given him the biggest hug #thinking back on how many times wwx is hugged in mdzs (specifically The Untamed) hurts so much my god #Like in The Untamed I think it's twice?? excluding all the times LWJ “hugs” wwx by catching/holding him when he goes unconscious #bc yeah that's quite a few times #now I just want a compilation of all the times LWJ has to help WWX as he goes weak/passes out #dear god bro really got traumatized #mdzs #cql #the untamed #wei wuxian #jiang yanli #lan wangji #wwx #jyl #lwj #wangxian

[pinkseas]

on my hands and knees begging u to say your words about xiaolumi… i want to hear them… i’ll pay you back in art i prommy—

WHY WOULD YOU ENABLE ME LIKE THIS no need for art i literally owe you my fucking Life just for that one piece like oh my god. ohhhh my god. the amount of times i have linked that to my friends and waxed poetic and maybe cried a little. ANYWAYS. i am about to be So Silly And So Disorganized

so here's the thing right?? it depends SO heavily on how you interpret lumine. the traveler definitely has their own personality and agenda ingame but there's still SO much wiggle room in terms of what you do with that. if i really wanted to i could probably make it a Lot More Accurate by focusing on the traveler in canon and going from there however i will in fact be completely ignoring that and focusing on my interpretation of lumi specifically light and love <3 <- thats my little disclaimer ANYWAYS

they are So Similar in a lot of ways. young adults who are also centuries old. stubborn bastards who would give their lives protecting those around them even if they got absolutely nothing in return. so quick to throw themselves into the line of fire for the sake of friends and strangers alike. such a strong instinct to protect. not mortal, not by a long shot, but not quite gods either, something uniquely inhuman and in between. a centuries worth of weight on their shoulders. reaching their breaking points and pushing further still, refusing to let themselves crumble. and, even with very close companions, i think they're very lonely. there's no one quite like xiao in teyvat, no one quite like lumine without aether there by her side- maybe no one quite like lumine at all, anymore.

i think its about sharing. i think they'd find it easy to talk with and be around one another, even though they're typically so slow and so careful with trust. i think fighting together comes as easily as breathing, that their urge to protect lines up perfectly with the others and leads to them doing so much for those around them as well as each other. they will not let the other fall. they share the weight on their shoulders, share the centuries of bloodshed and horrors seen and caused alike, share in the unique brand of loneliness that comes with knowing that where someone was once by your side there's no one like you left.

vulnerability does not come easily to any of them. they can always push themselves further, always be a little stronger, always run a little faster. but its exactly that, i think, the recognition of someone so like themselves that makes it easier for them to trust in one another. lumine can call xiao's name when she needs him, xiao can find lumine if he needs her. i think that for all they would shoulder the world on their own and know the other would do the same in a heartbeat, they trust one another to come to them when they need help. it would be so, so easy to ignore it, to press forward, to remain alone. but they made a promise, and they intend to keep it.

i like to imagine that lumine's presence has a purifying effect on xiao. something she could control and channel should she realize, but for now something small, just enough to ease that weight. just enough to make sure he won't succumb.

i think a big part of it is about learning how to live again. they both carry that weight, that stubborn mindset, but wanting to see the other happy helps. knowing the other understands helps. when it hurts they can breathe together, and the type of pain they feel may never truly go away but they dont have to experience it alone.

every snowflake, every sunrise, every flower is just a little bit different from the rest. xiao's favorite quiet places are nicer with her there. they live so very differently but lumine's teapot is always there and xiao is no longer bound by his contract, learning ever so slowly how to let himself go. they have spent so, so long surviving. now, though, they remember to taste the fresh air, learn to indulge in the smallest things. lumine experiments with recipes until her almond tofu is catered to xiao's tastes exactly, the perfect texture. at night in liyue xiao tells her stories of the constellations and she remembers every word, at night in the teapot lumine will lift a hand and the sky will match her memories, her turn to tell stories about stars he's never seen.

they are both so, so tired. and i think that they would trust the other enough to let themselves rest. you can put your strength down. im sitting here with you at the kitchen table. you dont need to say anything. <- that quote is so them for real its shared silences mutual understanding and comfort always having each other's backs its twin moons twin stars two beings caught in each other's orbit and choosing every day to stay. sitting side by side on the mountaintop, hands entwined, lumine's head on his shoulder. breathing. loving. living.

#feeling so normal right now #um. um. um. #yeah i have no excuse im just out of my fucking mind #currently being plagued with post-chasm thoughts where zhongli saving xiao lent him energy and that energy Fades #and xiao is fucking exhausted and still hurt and completely burnt out #and lumine is there and its the first time he enters the teapot because if she says theyll be safe there he trusts her #if lumine says no harm will come to them here he believes her #very 'you took care of me now let me take care of you' #washing the dirt and debris from their skin from their hair shielding his face with a hand so she doesnt get shampoo in his eyes #every movement gentle and careful and precise and purposeful. i love you on purpose i care about you on purpose that quote is so them too #making both of them food because neither of them need it but it helps with their energy regardless #making both of them sleep because they desperately need the rest #and its a little selfish of her to wrap her arm around him because she needs the reminder that hes there and safe and whole #but he doesnt stop her. and everyone has to be selfish at times #spending hours and hours laying there beneath the stars breathing deeply existing together remembering that theyre alive #idk. like i said. the quiet moments the unconditional trust #im so tempted to try and think of more but i am Stopping Myself finally. we're done we are DONE #one day i will be normal about them but until then. #aly.genshin #aly.writing

[lanternlightss]

Hi yes I am looking at "to see the sky and sea" please elaborate 👀

shsjsjdkrkdlsk your wish is my command!

thank you for enabling me u_u

under the cut because i’m gonna ramble a Lot XD godbless the read more option

okay okay so first off: this all starts when nameless bard is Still Recovering from his Life-Threatening injuries. (actually, BOTH amos and and nb are recovering!)

so now when rag and gunnhildr get into a fight that venti cannot mediate they just 😦✌️to nb’s tent. rag always ends up dragging them back to Wherever the crew has set up shop but somehow venti always ends up back at nb’s side…..

trying to remember what i named nb in this au. it might’ve been cecil again……. hmm……..

actually vito (alive, life) would be so fucking funny—especially since nb and amos nearly die at one point during recovery.

anyways! got off topic a little! back on track….

so. so. ragnvindr has Many Many issues with venti taking vito’s form—most notably, he believes that vito does not want to be an image of worship.

(which. vito Doesn’t want to be, yeah. but, like, he’s never told rag that. a lot of misunderstandings come from rag assuming vito is going to die and putting words into his mouth.

he tries to do something of the same with amos, but stops soon after, because. amos would absolutely try to kick his ass. why he thinks vito won’t, who knows….

venti is very upset about that, because they are vito’s bestie and they know much more about him than anyone else does. ragnvindr hasn’t seen vito have countless breakdowns over the what-ifs and should-beens, he hasn’t seen vito at any low or high of his life up until this point. why does—why does he get ANY say in this matter?

but they keep that to themself, because the group is already so close to falling apart, and they don’t. they don’t want to lose any of them.

they can’t.)

to add insult to injury ragnvindr hardly ever visits amos or vito during their recovery. but when he Does, he’s strangely silent throughout it all. during visits to vito, he keeps an intense watch on venti the entire time, even waking up out of a dead sleep so he can continue watching.

it’s like he’s scared of venti.

it…. well, that doesn’t feel good, for one.

venti and gunnhildr are the ones to visit the most, and while gunnhildr visits amos the most, venti tries to give them both equal amounts of attention. they still, ah, do end up coming by vito’s tent more often XD.

mostly to sleep by them. (they can’t go to sleep without vito…)

because of this, venti is actually the first to see when vito awakes. they wake up to a hand running through their hair!

(and then they alert everyone by uprooting every flora in vicinity through the power of unbridled joy—)

so now vito is awake! and when he learns of what the hell has been going on with the other three, he’s very very pissed off!

he has quite a talk with ragnvindr (and a little talk with gunnhildr XD), and they manage to settle things…….. only for an absolute shit-fest to occur when ragnvindr keeps finding problems with venti taking vito’s form.

(also venti once entertained vito by taking many different forms and when vito asked them if they could look exactly the same, they kinda maybe completely forgot to change back—

um. yeah. that did not go well…….)

anyways so gunnhildr worships barbatos, vito is okay with barbatos because of the fact that venti is his friend, and ragnvindr does not like barbatos. (amos is still fighting for her life. tfw ur god lover took all the air out your lungs and fucked up your veins and nerves trying to take you out with him.)

but, as vito once puts it: “would you rather it be someone else, say, another decarabian? i imagine that andrius fellow would’ve made such an Amazing god, huh.”

hm. then again, ragnvindr tells vito he better be prepared to kill venti if they ever start to become like decarabian.

ah, such a pity, though.

vito could never lay a hand on venti.

#when amos wakes up you best believe she gives them all the scolding of a life time #still though #amos learns to accept the new god (though she’s a little distant. doesn’t wanna get hurt again…..) #but ragnvindr fucks off because he Cannot. he cannot #not trying to blame ragnvindr #venti was an absolute mess and gunnhildr rushing to their rescue whenever something went wrong #(and with the sparkle of a women prepared to die for her god at that) #wellllllll……. that didn’t help! #but yeah #seeing venti act miserable as vito did. not improve ragnvindrs mood #he keeps warning everyone and vito just throws all caution to the wind one day to fight him XD #“im going to pull my stitches out for this you fu—” #venti and ragnvindr still traumatizing each other despite everyone being alive…… sorry guys 😔 #vito attempts to play neutral but damn. they do not take kindly to any insults towards venti #“id like to see YOU try!” #bsjsjsjsjs anemo archon ragnvindr lmao #they make up sometime in the future #but yeesh #the beginning did not go well at all #lantern replies #to see the sky and sea au #this au is just “how badly can ragnvindr cope with all of this” #the answer? A LOT. #mutuals !

[florenceisfalling]

like idk. i miss seeing content from s.igne (though i respect gab wholeheartedly). i miss fanart from my favorite artists. i miss older eras of j.se at times (and yes, there were older eras, the way people pretended he Never Changed is just weird). i miss old anti designs. i miss the old fic trends. i miss having a very active fandom (though i am so happy to see the new arrivals) and i miss seeing him interact with fans the way he did on tumblr back in the day. i miss the way i used to interact with some of the blogs here before i decided to fuckin,,, wage holy war and make enemies out of them (joking, but i have seen sides to some of these people that i wish i could tear out of my memory). i miss feeling confident that i could trust the good intentions of people here and even the big man himself (not god. that makes sean sound like god. you know what i mean). i miss when some of you weren't so fucking bitter which is funny because i'm the bitterest bitch alive. idk. i don't think it's bad to miss any of these things because i'm not going to be an ass and act like it's anybody's fault. i'm not going to be bothered by gab for being happy because i'm glad she is happy, and i'm not going to get bothered by sean taking a reasonable step back from this hellsite when people were cruel to him, and i'm not going to get mad at trends for changing because that is how time works. but i do miss things and i know its cringe and parasocial and perhaps even problematic but i hate having to pretend like i never have Any feelings about the past lest i break a hypothetical rule of what is the Normal level of attachment to an online community. okay. i think i'm done now.

#one of my favorite writers left because they couldn't deal anymore and one of my favorite writers turned out to have shit views and one of #my favorite writers left because of something that was partly my fault and one of my favorite writers stopped writing because of two of the #others and one of my favorite writers hurt someone i love over and over and over and one of my favorite writers left because they were the #someone i love. two of the big names hate queer folk that don't align with their ideals and half the artists left for twitter or for dead. #the man himself left because criticism always becomes cruelty and people lie to make themselves feel good. #the editors all turned their accounts private and my favorite told me on livestream that i was good and starting somewhere but then forgot #my name. and i thought maybe i was the bitter one but then i look at some of the other people who have been here so long and wonder why #they even bother anymore because they care more about complaining with everything j.ack does than anyone who actually enjoys his stuff. #and you know i poked fun at *** for a lot of things. some deserved some not. and one of them was the fact that she compared fandom #to warfare. and yes that's still silly i don't think it's a fair comparison but i do know that she wasn't fully wrong. #when you've been here for a long time and ive Been here for a long time you start to get really used to names and faces #and the change can be like waking up to a new wallpaper in your room. not a bad one just a new one. #i don't want to pretend that this fandom is just a silly little hobby for me when lets be honest i know some of yalls personal lives a #little too dearly for that. ive loved people here ive lost people here the first person who showed me this place fucking DIED and i still #lose it sometimes over the fact that he would have loved jameson so much and we couldve been closer friends had he stayed alive a few more #years. so yeah. sorry for being fucking cringy or whatever but there have been times where i've felt like im on a sinking ship watching #everybody else row away and i refuse to go. so like. cool. cool. im glad things are good again but i never really got to process the bad #things.

[latinokaeya-moving]

i wuv ganyu so much even if the game has done nothing but make her entire personality overworked ‘waifu’ (😵‍💫) that only worries abt her weight but like the potential is There i can taste it and i am obsessed w it even if her outfit is so godawfully ugly. why did they have to do that to her

#x #gi posting #it’s genuinely so bad i havent seen a single redesign that didn’t immediately make her a million times more appealing #i love her horns and i like the stupid bell around her neck but everything else…. 🫢🫢🫢 girl. please #it annoys me bc she like xiao and zhongli is one of the few playable charas that were alive during the archon war n stuff #n both of them have significantly more interesting/culturally significant design choices that sorta show how importantly genshin thinks of #them… but nothing for my queen 😭😭😭 #the disrespect… i think she would’ve looked soooo good in some kind of fit inspired by modernised hanfu….. instead she wears those fucking. #leggings n a weird ass leotard thing EUGHHH #anyways. was saying this bc i Just saw a redesign i rlly liked. SHE HAD GOAT (ig qilin) LEGS IN IT LIKE!!! #i still love her tho ig…. my baby #i think other than kaeya (bc he will always be my number one LOL) she’s the one that i’ve done the most heavy lifting for in terms of like. #creating my own characterisation and understanding of her sbdksjd bc they give us Nothing for the most part n then there’ll be a handful of #snippets that r Just interesting enough to make me go crazy n want for more #i also think it’s really entertaining to use her meta mechanics within her characterisation n story. again i kinda do this w kaeya too but #specifically for ganyu it rlly fascinates me that she’s canonically partially a creature known to be incredibly docile and benevolent and #goes out of its way to not hurt living beings meanwhile gameplay wise she’s like. arguably an absolute beast of a hypercarry n one of the #strongest dps’ in the game. like that’s just such a funny contrast to me i love playing w that idea in my head #BUT YEAH. Anyways. i feel like i’m always talking abt kaeya (LOL) so have some ganyu my beloved rambles now instead…

[chisatowo]

Decided to tweak Pent's design a bit and decided to make her a new ref while I was at it! MUCH happier with this design

#keese draws #oc art #oc #ocs #furry #furry art #sfw furry #oc posting #pent my belovedddd #I hope that with this design I have an easier time drawing her since I rly do wanna draw her more #but yeah bitches who walked into a clothing store and immediately go for ripped up shit with big pockets #but yeah my main issue with her old design is that it just felt too plain to me? #she just wasnt very shaped is what I mean her siouette kinda sucked #I just realised I dont think i ever explained pent's basic deal? uhhh #ok basically she used to live in a small town but then uh oh town was attacked and she got hurt rip #next time she woke up she was in cake's lab and freaked the fuck out and hid in the vents until she passed out again and woke up again a #few months later rinse and repeat for like 4 years (she was 8 whem the town was attacked) #when she was around 12 she finally stopped instantly running away since the friend she liked to hang out with in the lab left and she was #able to be slowly more stabalised physically but she still needed to replenish the magic keeping her alive every now and them #she stuck around willingly for much longer than she wanted to since she was scared of cake and found tge other ppl living there annoying #but she wanted to actually recover as much as she could have since as mean as she is her parents always drilled into her head how rude it #was to run off before a doctor is done helping and undo their hard work #but eventually she started getting really homesick and feelimg real cooped up since nome of them were allowed outside and decided she #wanted out but cake was like. no lol. and at that point she started getting more actively agressive and cruel to the other residents #most of them didnt want to be here either but she was likr 13 and freaking the fuck out so its understandable #eventually some melody stuff and some ari stuff colides in the lab which lets most of the other patients leave along with pent #and then applebounce has a breakdown but thats not that important to pent rn #pent wants to run off and go home but she cant actually go too far from the lab since she still needs magic recharges #enter bud and daisy being kidnapped and pent sees the two freaking out and seea bud and is like oh shit is that my old friend #and Im out of tags rip

[bo0zey]

boys be mad asl when i don’t giggle n tehe n show cute emotions like bitch my wounded inner child just got done drunk sniveling begging for daddy not to yell n hate her while her intoxicated narcissistic father screamed n gaslit her until she dissociated to euthymic plane 🙄🙄🙄

#‘trauma dumping’ eat my shorts loser assholss #so funny he said if my narcissistic sociopathic insane brother killed himself then it’s ‘goodbye to the rest of y’all too’ #like ohhhhh so ur eldest daughter n youngest son don’t mean jack fuckjn shit to u right??? lmfao lolll #yeah just go rot with that selfish egotistic psycho while ur 15yr old son who lost his mom at 7yrs old #i want to strangle my fuckjgnf dad sometimes he’s so cruel n said so many mean things to me #he always has to defend my middle brother ‘he’s depressed what if he kms’ like??? #my middle brother literally manipulates tf out of my dumbass emotionally unintelligent father he’s tearing this family apart #meanwhile i never planned on seeing 18 nor living past 22 n now i have to go exist n find a job when i never thought i’d have to do this sh #shit ever b. i was supposed to #be dead 4 years ago lololllll #god forbid i tell him that or my plan to kms at 27 lollll #so worried abt a fucking LOST SOCIOPATH SEFISH NARCISSITIC CAUSE ur gonna make me and my baby brother suffer?? as orphans ?? #my dad n i used to get breakfast every sunday in middle school n talk abt life n drive around after n those days meant the world to me #i never realized how much i missed them. how much i looked forward to him saying he’d call me while i’m away at college #but my middle brother egosticizl fuck is like ‘lolyh i just nod n say what dad wants me to hear’ when my dad is trying so hard to save him f #my dad admitted to neglecting my lil bro lol it makes me so fkcing angry he doesn’t give af abt us #says ‘im worth more im the ground than i am alive’ n my inner teen bursts into tears bc she experienced that already #yeah moms life insurance money was so fun!! until it ran out bc of college n impulsive manic spending n the materialistic thrill never laste #i want to hate him but i can’t even deny i love him so much he hurts me and everyone i love and disappoints us all n we still care for him #he’s letting my brother fuckjgn kill him literlaly my dad is physically sick bc of my sociopath narcissistic bros drama #he blames me for not going to him n telling him abt my ‘’mental issues’ as if i didn’t have to grow up n become mom the day after my 16th #i am my mothers child he didn’t know anything abt our childhoods until she died and he had to step up n parent us himself #he doesn’t know what it means to be a parent he shouldn’t be a parent but oh fuckjgn well oh my god WE ARE YOUR KIDSMWE NEED YOU WH #WHY CANT YOU SHOW US YOU CARE WHEN WE ALL HAD TO LEARN ALL WE HAVE IS OURSELVES #i am so angry he tried to throw me under the bus abt not having a job as a new grad nurse instead of my brother for dropping out everything #ur son wants to drop his ap classes bc he procrastinated n doesn’t wNna do the work so now he’s manipulating u to let him quit #i am just not exiting the identity crisis coming to terms w the fact that i’m 22yrs old n alive n need to start living n working #tonight was a shitshow but the ending calmed down but i couldn’t stop crying sniveling whimpering when dad yelled #yelled n accused n attacked me n chose to defend my middle bro over me like..he’s trying to kill u n i freaked out bc stepmom said u cut #ramblings

[todayisafridaynight]

So I’ve asked this before, but it didn’t get answered (at least I don’t think) and I think the problem was the wording so I’ll ask it like this. Who’s more deplorable Jo or Ryo, the father or the son, chairmen or Governor?

oh piss sorry tumblr mighta eaten it the first time :( but uhhhh cant go wrong with saying a politician’s more evil right 💀💀

#snap chats #jo's crimes are like.YES he put a baby in a locker but hey he turned out. Alive. #Barely. #ok but then you gotta ask the question Is This All Jo's Fault #because jo put aoki in the locker he got his disability and was set up for dangerous levels of self hatred for life #like its not like jo and masumi weren't good dads- gotta pause cause i. i love how like. thats a statement. #aoki had two dads and he failed both of them jesus christ #but yeah no like ichi said they were PHENOMENAL dads especially by this series' standard #but can we say this is jo's fault then ? cause aoki still decided to. Be Lame #pettiest bitch a live like oh my god grow up she was a hostess it was her JOBBBB #she wasnt even being that mean she was just being concerned and i cant blame her !!! #if one of my clients took experimental foreign drugs just for me i'd be horrified- like she didnt know that part but you get it #i mean WE know why he did it he just really wanted to be seen as a 'regular' guy but still #im going everywhere jesus almighty ill write my masato essay later POINT IS #aoki's ultimately cuntier. like i 1000% understand self hatred but when you start hurting people around you you need to self reflect #and we couldve... we coudlve g o t t e n t h a t #IM STILL MAD UGH Y7 I HATE YOU !!!! BUT I DONT I LOVE YOU BUT I DONT BUT //EATS DRYWALL//

[phantom-does-a-thing]

you know maybe I should go back to that old WIP in like middle school bc that was a really interesting concept actually

#God. yeah. #a war between 'heaven and hell' #thats in quotes because it wasn't actually that #but the world fell into ruins. Everything was the crumbled remains barely anyone was still alive #Valerie. an Angel fighting in the war. Corrupted by the demons #trying to hide the fact that she's falling apart because she's been corrupted #her wings are losing their feathers. She's dying. She's corrupted #and shes so angry. Angry at everything. Angry at the world. At her parents #and EVERYTHING that could have possibly gone wrong did #shes all alone. She can't accept help from anyone else #she NEEDS to be alone because if not who knows what might happen #she might hurt someone. she might get hurt a gain #and so she is alone. there are people that can help. there are people still alive but she is alone #this is such an interesting concept and now im thinking about it again #rambling #phever dreams with phantom

[yoohyeontual]

When something you dreamed of happening for 3 years finally happen and you’re more sad than happy 🙃

#yeah it’s about THAT friend again #i finally have something organized with her and I don’t even wanna go #idk if it’s the fact that my life right now stressed me out so nothing really makes me happy #but other than I’m terrified of seeing her again #i have nothing good to say nothing in my life is happening #so it mostly will be me ashamed of saying on doing nothing with my life while she tells me about hers #hearing that she has a girlfriend and acting like it dosen’t hurt me #also at first I thought it was funny and I was like anything to see her again but the reason why she wanna see me again dosen’t interest me #AT ALL like I don’t wanna get back into first cause I don’t care about it and it’s the one fo the reason why our friendship end #does she thing it’s really a good idea 😭 #honestly I know that friendship is going to hurt me more than anything so I don’t think I’ll have the first to do it but #i wanna tell her I change my mind and I don’t wanna be friend cause it will be pure torture for me 😔 #not that I wish I was friend with her anymore I feel like it may end up the same way and it will be bad for both of us #i would also like to explain that I was a bitch cause I couldn’t control my feelings and that I was in love with her but I don’t think I’ll #have the courage to tell her… but it’s honestly eating me alive I should tell her and she’ll decide if she still wanna be my friend or not #idk what to do 😭 #anyway I’m seeing her on the 23 wish me luck I’ll need it I have 3 days to prepare myself I’m gonna d*e of stress 😭 #Alex.txt

[hauntingblue]

Sanji crucified and getting punished by a giant spider lady for his sins against women....

#i just noticed kaido the dragon has his cape still.... #tatsumaki?? that's zoros move man. #luffy just got eaten..... well another reference to skypiea.... he will make it put unharmed... i hope he ryus back again from the inside #and does more damage.... fuck your large intestines!!!! #see.... he got puked.... thanks zoro #THE CP0????? WELL I WASNT EXPECTING THAT NOW #cant they pick their own weight and let luffy rest for like 5 more minutes... idk.... #OMG SPEED!!! TAMA YOU ARE A GENIUS..... #shes got a small army!!!! she really said make peace not war #APOO IS STILL ALIVE?????. DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE #MY PINK HAIRED SAMURAI GOT ONIFIED.... RESIST MY BRAVE WARRIOR!!! #FRANKYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! YEAAAHHHHH!!!!! nami and usopp crying about seeing him jdhsjshsjsj franky sweating bc he can't fight them all ajshaj #i love how at the end of the day the most unthinkable things like this one get done by the less physically powerful.... #if i were robin or nami i would jusg let sanji there... he got himself in there he can get out why would i fight anybody for that.... #epiaide 1019 #he got crucified 🤣🤣🤣 #<- jesus haters in 33 dc #yeah he is pathetic bc he can't fight women!!! drag him!!!!! #the caramel.... this is for the furries....... #HIYORI HELPING KINEMON???? WHO IS THAT #maria with the brass knuckles.... damn... you are going to give sanji another kink watch out #even the subordinates are shocked about him being spineless akdhaksjak THE OTHER PIRATES CALLING HIM PATHETIC #jinbe really is in love with robin like damn 'she is one of the most important people on the world' and like yeah but he is the only one #thay says it.... i am becoming a frojinbe warrior #franky saying this is a trap for robin and that a man shouldnt be this miserable... i know he wants to beat him up.... franky teach him..... #robin i love you but he isnt worth it........... like i am really not respecting sanji in onigashima.... first he lets nami and kiki get #hurt and now he puts robin in danger.... you should be ashamed of yourself sanji...... #talking tag #watching one piece #episode 1021

[valandherweekofwonders]

i just want to stop feeling suicidal so constantly and i want to stop having my paranoia spirals and i want to have peaceful sleeps without night terrors and i want to feel safe in my body and in my own space and i want to eat and i want to not be so overwhelmed by my psychosis and i want to be over everything that kennedy did to me but i also really wish i could contact him again so i could deck him in the fucking face and then i call c and ask her what the fuck why the fuck did she do that and beg beg beg my family to leave the church that is so clearly harming them and dooming them to tragedies.... and so on...

#why did i write about that pregnancy why did i use my abuse for an assignment why did i delve into these memories such a mistake #whenever i remember it happened im like oh my god i could have had a 9 year old maybe i did want to be a mother #maybe i am suffering now bc i was supposed to be doomed to the same narrative like most women in my community #like maybe it was a fluke that i got here bc i don't fit in i hate myself so much i feel like everyone hates me and wants me dead and gone #if i knew any of their numbers still i would ask for ativan again i cannot fucking sleep my anxiety is never ending #i cannot tolerate the weight of the emotions i want to be numb i want to be high i want to be dissociated again #i broke out of my constant dissociation and now im here and i can feel my feet on the ground and i am living pov and it hurts so bad #i want to be in the arms of my best friend i want to be on her floor stroking the fuzzy carpet while we eat penne together #ever since she came back into my life i am so happy i have that anchor again but oh my god it makes me realize how distant i am from everyo #and how little i trust #i also miss my other best friend that i never get to see but i want to hug them tightly and we never have enough time w each other but ever #moment is so vivid and strong and they make me feel so alive and aware of the world we are in and its such a blessing that they decided to #talk to me the day they did and the friendship that came after like idk #i dont have many close friends but oh god the few i have i love th #them so much and they make life worth living but ugh yeah im fighting voices and spirals and theres a lot happening inside #ill be fine i have a lot of feelings my life is nonstop chaotic bc i have 5 bpd/bipolar women in my family and all emotionally absent men a #and our narratives weave together so close so tightly i cannot separate myself but i want to but can i? do i want to? #ezra.txt