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#yeah fuck off you little shits
craycraybluejay · 2 months
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yeah yeah you hate me I'm an evil disgusting perverted manwhore we have each other blocked everywhere blah blah but I know you still jerk off to me and I know it makes you hate yourself a bit because you don't have the strength to accept the darker parts of your desire. but you can't help yourself and I take pleasure in the knowledge.
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haemosexuality · 7 months
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why are so many adventure time fans just straight up stupid. about how stories work. and i dont even mean kids i mean like adult fans just with the absolutely dumbest takes
#i was watching a streamer react to f&c which ok i admit i brought this upon myself#but oh my godddddd#''i think farmworld finn's wife was pb'' even ignoring that one of his kids looks exactly like human huntress wizard WHAT#WHY IN THE HELL WOULD THAT BE TRUE. AFTER THEYVE SPENT S I X S E A S O N S SHOWING WHY PBXFINN COULD NEVER BE A THING#LITERALLY SEVERAL SEASONS SHOWING 1-PB WILK NEVER LIKE FINN BACK THEY ARE INCOMPATIBLE 2-FINN HAS MOVED ON HE HAS ACCEPTED THAT AND GOTTEN#OVER HIS CHILDHOOD LOVE ON HER AND ONLY AFTER THAT THEY WERE ABLE TO FORM A FRIENDSHIP#THATS LIKE ONE OF THE MAIN THINGS OF THE SHOW#WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY TAKE THAT BACK AND MAKE HIM HAVE FUCKING KIDS WITH HER IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE?????????#''did prismo just die in the end of episode 4??? oh no what a mystery'' oh yeah dude they totally killed off one of the most important#characters in like 5 seconds with almost no ceremony. without even acknowledging it. thats totally how character deaths work#this is totally plausible#''what the fuck im gonna get so mad of simon actually becomes ice king again'' ARE YOU STUPIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD#HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF ''CREATING A CONFLICT AND THEN RESOLVING IT''#HOLY FUCKING SHIT#sorry this is making me go insane a little bit.#adventure time#fionna and cake#every time i see some guy mention pbxfinn and a thing that could have happened i fly into a rage. you are so fucking stupid. you have the#mental capabilities of a child. never open your mouth again.#as a thing* that could have happened
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tswwwit · 7 months
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I know Bill's the big bad demon everyone is afraid of and he will protect his husband at all costs (when no one's looking), but I think it's also worth mentioning that Dipper, even being the dorky, squishy human that he is, also cares about his dumb demon hubby and wants to keep him safe, even if it annoys Bill, and really, he doesn't need protecting the way Dipper does. He isn't going to puff out his chest and get in someone's face like some macho man, but I think Dipper knee-jerk reaction when Bill's in "danger" isn't to just shrug because he's an all-powerful demon who can handle it. If a blast that could level a whole town was aimed at Bill's head (for him, this just means a bad hair day and a new body), Dipper's immediate impulse is to push him out of the way or defend him against whatever wants to kill his familiar. Because he's not thinking "Bill could literally end this match in .3 seconds." He's thinking "if you touch even one hair on that asshole's head, I'm going to knock yours clean off your shoulders." I don't know what the point even is in this post, just that Dipper is this nerdy, unassuming guy who ends up being viciously protective under the right conditions. Like I think Dipper pulls off the bloody and vengeful look SO well that Bill immediately melts and just lets him handle the situation, even though it's not really Dipper's fight to begin with. He's beating the guy to a pulp with zero reserve, and Bill's off to the side swooning and twirling his hair over his man for getting his hands dirty for him.
It's true! While Bill's not the type to enjoy being underestimated, he has to admit! Seeing his adorable husband all riled up on his behalf is a hell of a sight.
The thing is, Dipper's a good guy! He can't help but put himself in danger over others. Even when all reason and logic say that Bill would be absolutely fine if he got his head exploded or a shiv in his kidney, Dipper's instinct is to fully and immediately get in the way of that. To, in fact, be protective.
Mostly this is only evident when Dipper has to stand up to Ford. Yes, yes, Bill's a vile horrible monstrosity, but he didn't do that particular thing you're accusing him of. Watching him stand up to his uncle is a particular treat!
For bigger threats, though - Well. Bill's gonna be absolutely fine, no matter what happens, thank you very much. But he's definitely not opposed to seeing some guy who was about to literally stab him in the back get a few of his teeth knocked out.
#answers#Dipper doesn't like seeing his husband get hurt. Yes Bill likes pain and all but only contextually. And he's immortal.#But Dipper can't help but cringe and wince on his behalf anyway. He talks a lot of shit but he really does love his bastard husband#When it comes to most of the the Ford situations#Bill gets to have fun with those#Dipper's ready to argue on Bill's behalf. Most times. Yes a little head-explodey doesn't keep Bill down but Dipper is NOT a fan#Catch Bill standing just behind Dipper - or even leaping up into his arms and nearly making him topple over -#Only to look very self-satisfied. Going :3 'yes I am babey'#Looking like the perfect innocent cherub he absolutely isn't gets on Ford's nerves in a HUGE way#Both super obnoxious AND it makes his mortal roll his eyes at him. SO fun!#For other times he gets defended it's Bill's turn to roll his eyes#But goddamn if it isn't cute as hell. PLUS it's one of the rare times he actually sees Dipper really riled up#Not in like a flustered argumentative type of way. In an actual Fuck You You're Going Down kinda way#Real stupid that Dipper keeps doing this. But real hard to oppose it when Bill gets such a view outta it!#Also concept: Dipper trying to shield Bill while he's in his real form and feeling a moment of 'oh no' when he fails#Only for like. The knife to go 'tink' off his surface. Bill looks unimpressed#Another reminder for Dipper that yeah okay Bill can handle himself. He feels pretty dumb about it#That's okay DIpper you mean well! Bill will still smooch you for trying#APPROVED.jpeg implied but not included due to me adding too much text
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camgirlkaminari · 2 months
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i just caught up with the latest chapters and like. those dudes definitely made out right? like that's not even subtext? like horikoshi fully said one and two absolutely went hog wild upon each other like. in the text, right??????? I have other, more cool and normal thoughts, but what is really important to me right now is that. those dudes definitely canonically got nasty. right???????????????????
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wildflowercryptid · 2 months
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something that's been weighing on my mind ever since learning about the situation with ezra / toonimal is seeing how these predators will take the active hostility that is frequently directed towards minors in online spaces to their advantage and use it to prey on vulnerable children. i think that we as adults in online fandom should probably come together and maybe rethink the language / manner we go about interacting with kids bc clearly the way things are rn is causing active harm.
like obviously, if you're an adult and aren't comfortable with minors interacting with you or your content, you should be allowed to set that boundary and should be vocal about it, ( especially if the content you create isn't safe for them to consume. ) but i don't think talking to them like they're a blight on all that is good and holy is the way to go about it. maybe just saying you're an 18 plus account will suffice, you don't have to tell them to fuck off.
#i'm opening myself up for ppl to leave the stupidest takes on this post but whatever i need to get this off my mind#before anyone says anything about the kids on that website. they're grooming victims. they're literally kids being taken advantage of#show them some fucking kindness and be understanding that they're the victims in this situation#idk what it is about becoming an adult that causes so many ppl to lose their empathy towards minors it's weird#like yeah kids can be annoying and pushy on online spaces sometimes but a lot of them are old enough to know online etiquette lbr#alot of us were annoying kids on the internet at some point we should understand that you don't just. get a handbook for how to act online#that's shit you learn overtime but ppl seem to forget that#they also seem to forget that talking down to kids isn't gonna teach them shit they're not gonna listen to you if you treat them like idiots#what i'm trying to say is that we really need to talk to minors more respectfully and maybe give them a little grace#( obviously there will be situations where some of them need to be yanked up by the collar but there's ways to go about that >>>#without treating them like shit )#these kids need to know that there's spaces for them to be online safely without having to stumble into places that'll pray on them#we all know how much it sucked to be a kid online we should want better for the ones coming in after us ya know#sorry if this comes across as preachy it just breaks my heart and boils me blood to see kids being taken advantage of like this#especially when there's ways to prevent it idk#how do i even tag this....#mj.txt#there's trigger warning on the linked post btw#tw csa mention
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storywestistrash · 11 months
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lowkey hate seeing people say "oh michael fans never talk about the fact that he did bad things" because 1. its literally not true and 2. for the kind of fan that i am its like. when you tell your friends or family or partner or whoever that you love them, do you say it like "i love and care about you deeply but i also recognize that youre a flawed individual whos made mistakes in their life and that youre not actually a good person. i am telling you this so you know that i realize how complex of a person you are and that i respect it" DO YOU HAVE STUPID??
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sundial-bee-scribbles · 8 months
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idk what to caption this one tbh
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volivolition · 23 days
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reading Kim's Disco Inferno and i absolutely needed to read this fic earlier than im reading it right now. this is so fucking interesting.
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labyrynth · 5 months
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so…somehow topaz is not only managing to embody “rampant capitalist” but also “insidious colonizer”???
like babe maybe try not launching an armed alien invasion of their home threatening to extract every single resource of potential value. or like. dumping a 700yr old debt on a planet that has been entirely isolated for most of that.
hey speaking of how it’s been 700 years since this supposed loan was made—why are you sweeping in to demand hundreds of years of interest on a loan you didn’t care enough to collect more than 400 years ago…conveniently AFTER you decided that maybe there was something to exploit here after all?
like goddamn when they announced “topaz and numby” i thought the pig was supposed to be NUMBY and yet Here We Are
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binaominagata · 1 month
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My brother: Are you coming out tonight?
Me: lmaooooooo where have you been for the past thirty years bruh
My brother: I MEANT TO YOUR FUCKING BIRTHDAY PARTY!!
Me: …ohhhhhhhhhh right
#personal#anyway uh my birthday just passed! I’m old enough that I’ve stopped counting but still too young to say goodbye to any more of my siblings#haven’t felt much like celebrating. my sister’s still on the edge. don’t know what will happen.#all we can do is trust her doctors are doing everything they can.#oh and praying a whole fuckin lot. that too.#I’m going out for drinks with some folks tonight. some friends. two of my brothers. my brother-in-law. my partner.#they all know how it’s been. my brothers are right there with me.#anyway another lap around the Sun complete#think I’m legit starting to feel old#and not just because I wanna throw shit and scream at dumbass kids to get off my lawn#…I don’t fucking have a lawn but you know what I mean#I mean my oldest godson is old enough to drink now. and yeah I was still a kid when I became his godmother#(sure as shit wasn’t planned but he decided it was time and I was the only one there)#but even still#my oldest goddaughter is in high school. my youngest nephew turns 2 next week and I’ve got another niece on the way in a couple months#i love all of them so much. my babies. my godchildren. my nieces and nephews. my beansprouts and little monsters.#and yeah. maybe I am getting old. probably yeah?#my mildly self-deprecating gay jokes aren’t though lol#anyway peace y’all if you need me I’ll be drunk with my friends and family toasting to how goddamn amazing it is that we’ve made it this far#and with so much more still to come. I ain’t gonna miss a fucking thing. count on it.
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usareiis · 17 days
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Twitter getting obsessed with conspiracy theories about where redacted is makes me feel so fucking terrible when there is so much worse going on that people are literally begging you to pay attention to but instead you want to focus on scenarios you made up in your head and play true crime detective
#i saw five hundred women tweeting things like i am going to sound soo crazy at work talking about this 🤣🤣#you need to get the fuck off of twitter number one#ik i sound like i am on twitter too much but i genuinely have just been clicking on what's trending these past few days i have been sick#and its like yes the royal family sucks for five thousand reasons but there are actual atrocities happening right in front of our eyes#that are not a fucking mystery and you guys would rather think of literally anything else#based off of nothing. like i have been a billion tweets the past few days confidently listing off scenarios they know have happened to her#like yay you're so true crime you figured it out and its not even like these people care about women's well being either bc i saw all...#...kinds of nasty shit said about her when she said she was sick in the first place and all kinds of bad comments about how sick pregnancy.#...makes her feel so obviously on the most basic level you don't care about women to act like you now have a narrative from a true crime...#...podcast to project to someone. like you guys will get so distracted by anything#don't get me started on the oscars#everything feels so fucking bleak lately i also don't know how stuff like the election doesn't make everyone feel like they're losing it#like yeah the guy in the movie that's supposed to be about being a girl sang a little song does no one realize how all they're talking...#...about is the guy yet#wait no they're more worried about a bad photoshop than the massive amount of pictures of dead people my bad
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spacedlexi · 1 month
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DID I HEAR VINERVAAAA??!! please please please please. i seen a fanfic once that was unfinished years ago with a singular chapter about violet (cries a little) CHEATING on clem with Minnie and i need that drama back.
SDKSJDKS my au is still violentine end game but clem comes into their lives while vi and minnies long term relationship is in the process of falling out
clem is interested in vi (and vi is back) but tries to move on since well.. vi is taken. and vi is still trying to make things work with minnie (who isnt putting in half the effort vi is). louis asks clem out and she likes him well enough to say yes. but ultimately vi and clem both have things about their respective relationships that frustrate them, and all the while they just continue to get closer and closer 👀... being around each other makes them each feel understood and supported in a way they arent in their relationships, and their feelings slowly become too much to deny 😏
i love (fictional) drama i love (fictional) mess :) not everybody does tho 😔
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dorkicon · 8 months
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bitching abt my job again
tags contain frank mentions of transphobia and homophobia
#this happened like. i dont know. a month ago or something but i still keep playing it in my mind#for those unawares: theres been a fucking community outrage over the pride display at the library i work at#and have been working/volunteering at for 5 years#only it never went up. it never went up. bc the mayor came in as a quote unquote private citizen and demanded it taken down#despite the fact that patrons are required to fill out complaint sheets and even then it isnt ensured a display will be taken down#so obviously its a misuse of power that hes spinning into him being a concerned citizen#and i made a whole post bitching abt it and im doing so again (hi) bc i didnt like how our director responded to it#and yeah. so there was a board meeting after that right. well i set up for them as i usually do and let me tell you. that was the first#--time more than like 6 people came to spectate. it was insane.#and i guarantee that this months meeting wont have half as many people that fucking crammed themselves in there to complain abt gay ppl#bc of course they dont give a shit about the library#they just care about how scary the queers are#and yeah it was a shit show. i learned we have a far right organization in our town#and i was sat right in front of her husband the whole time#(standing actually. i was standing between him and my moms chair and he was sighing and grumbling the whole time bc he couldnt muster the#--balls to ask the 5 foot 2 fag in front of him to please move lol. small victories right)#when i say her i mean the leader of the freaks. idk. chairman? anyway she had a whole speech about how like queers are bad and cutting#the penises off little babies or whatever and she pulled up this passage from a book that was part of the display#its some book by the youtuber rowan ellis-- here and queer i think was the title. it was cataloged in our ya section and contained passages#talking about like having safe sex and what dildoes are and all that kind of shit. just really clinical descriptions imo. im not familiar w#--the youtuber really but im assuming they wrote it as informational bc shocker: teens be having sex. unsafe sex. especially queer teens#sourse: i was one of tgose#and...think for a moment. remember when you were a teen. youd rather fucking DIE than listen to your parents give you the sex talk#and chances are if youre gay your parents arent even going to know WHAT gay sex is (hugging without shirts on) so youre going to look#--elsewhere#bc if youre a hormonal fucking teen youre going to figure it out one way or another! especially if youre from (cough) a podunk shitwater#--town like mine that ran on abstinence by way of sex education#i think teens deserve to have access to that sort of information through trusted means. and i do mean het teens too#but no these fucking morons put on airs like everyones waiting till marriage--no! not my becky sue! as if they werent fucking around in#--holy shit i reached taglimit. i didnt ecen know there was one. hold on
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hella1975 · 1 year
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tams azula is sooo fascinating bc while canon azula doesn't really show her age at all like she's completely desensitised to so much shit 'she is fourteen' is not a justification for ANYTHING both in her own mind and in other people's, in tams she has zuko. and yes the world has been abundantly cruel to her but zuko hasn't. he's basically raised azula and he's done so in a way that she's allowed to show her age, but she still only shows her age in very azula-esque ways. there's no reluctance to see violence like you'd expect from a fourteen-year-old, and like ive said before, that means zuko can't play on that reluctance in order to shield her, but he still wants to shield her from that violence because regardless of what SHE feels about it, as the eldest he knows fundamentally that she shouldn't be seeing certain things no matter how well she can handle them. and seeing zuko effectively PLAY azula in order to protect her is so interesting and complicated and fun
#and also a little heartbreaking bc it's the 'you protect azula but who protects you?'#like in order to shield azula from these things zuko is metaphorically standing in front of her and seeing them himself#as if he's not only sixteen and a child too#but yeah taking azula's canon traits and manipulating into the tamsverse is soooo fun#like the example that inspired this post is how canon azula is logical NOT cruel#like time and time again she follows only the logical route and even actively avoids the cruel route#e.g calling off torture in the boiling rock bc she knew that he was telling the truth and therefore continuing to torture him was illogical#im not saying azula is averse to/incapable of cruelty i just hc that she genuinely just thinks it's stupid#just like any other unnecessary act would be considered stupid. if it's not logical or being used for a greater plan then what's the point?#and tams azula STILL HOLDS THIS TRAIT except because i lean more into her age in tams bc she's been given the freedom with zuko#to liberally be a CHILD without any consequences as a result of that simple thing#her intense logic actually becomes a certain naivety on azula#like she cannot comprehend other people NOT coming to the conclusions she comes to#and that expands to needless cruelty. like she wont factor a person's cruelty into her calculations#because in her head all she needs to dismiss that calculation is 'excessive cruelty here would waste time which is illogical'#she assumes everyone is as smart and to-the-point as she is so when they ARENT and will actively waste time just to do dumb shit#it catches her off guard and she DOESNT PLAN FOR IT so it can really fuck them over sometimes#so this is one instance where zuko has azula beat despite it being STRATEGY aka azula's strong point#bc zuko's immense cynicism and assumption that Everyone Is Awful doesn't hold up against logic 9 times out of 10#but the one time it does is the time azula gets caught out#i just think tams zuko and azula's dynamic is so fucking interesting im so clever for that tbh#twice as many stars
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waywardsalt · 10 months
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thoughts on totk now that i’ve beaten it
under the cut bc of length and bc there is honestly a fair bit of negative stuff
i don’t really think i can say that i liked totk.
it’s fine, it’s genuinely fucking incredible from a technical standpoint with ultrahand, recall, the three map layers and with how smoothly it ran for me. as a game it’s fine.
i’ll start with the things i dislike and end with what i actually liked
i honestly didn’t really like ultrahand? i disliked how much the game leaned on it, since so many puzzles and whatever just boiled down to ‘make something that’ll work’ and it just... it was far too clunky for me to really enjoy using it, outside of using some of the same few designs for traversal. there were a few times when i could see what the game wanted me to do with ultrahand and the given zonai parts and sometimes it just... didn’t work at all. more often than not ultrahand was frustrating for me to use so the game’s reliance on it just made it into a chore sometimes.
in a similar vein the dungeons were serious letdowns. i mean, don’t get me wrong, they’re fine, they had good themes and (mostly) had good aesthetics and general looks and identities to them, but the fact that they were just... basically twenty-ish minute little things was kind of disappointing. i hate that they all had the exact same ‘go hit x number of switches’ gimmick. it really limited what you could do and fucked with the dungeon design, too. the only one where that really worked for me was the fire temple, which was my favorite overall. the water temple was especially dismal, with the least inspired look and just being an astoundingly easy experience. the puzzles in those dungeons were so awfully easy, too, especially since half of the time they just hand you what you need so you barely need to really assess the situation and put a plan together
i hated the water dungeon’s little mini-areas where you do a single piss-easy puzzle to automatically get your prize, i hated the wind temple’s god damn ‘pull a lever and get your prize’ kind of puzzles, i hated how soul-crushingly disappointed i felt when i took a look at the lightning temple’s map and realized that every fucking floor had a singular room just for the switch puzzle. god forbid it’s as fun as the lowest level of that temple. i really miss stuff like mini-bosses or rooms where you have to do a puzzle in order to just... progress, i miss dungeons that i could get lost in or spend a while in or just had... something more interesting or some more substance so that i can’t just breeze through like it’s a glorified shrine. most of the puzzles in those dungeons were simpler than some shrines i did.
i didn’t care to do much exploration since there honestly isn’t much motivation to explore the surface map if you’ve already played botw, and the scarcity of materials this time really got to me, it took me a while to have a half-decent stock of materials, and i still had trouble not running out of stuff even though i was using amiibos to stock up on some things. the money situation was rough, too... a lot of things are cheaper to sell, but some armor is still really expensive plus you have to pay the great fairies to upgrade your equipment in addition to having the correct materials. that especially felt odd- having to grab a handful of (goddamn hard to get) lynel guts is hard enough to upgrade the soldier’s armor, but you want me to cough up 500 rupees, too??
(the scarcity of monster guts also got on my nerves, but i’ll just chalk that up to just some kind of really weird difficulty thing. it was annoying until i tracked down the stronger monsters.)
the story is probably the weakest part of the game to me. it’s really hard to have a baseline investment when you don’t care about these characters, anyway, and what i saw in this game’s story still failed to endear me to hardly any of them. link’s role frustrated me; he just comes off like a tool rather than a character this time through, he barely has any actual relevancy to the story segments beyond being the guy who can use the master sword and being the player’s vehicle to get from point a to b in the story. the blank stare and limited emoting worked in botw because... there’s a given reason for his lack of outward emotion in the past, plus he has no memory in the present. it makes sense. but this time around, he’s gotten memories in the years between this and the last game, but he just feels like a background character in most of the story beats. 
he has no role in the memories and in the present just exists to gather some stuff for other people, he gets the master sword from zelda and then helps the other sages get their secret stones, but he’s barely addressed as his own character in the grand scheme of things unless he’s being directly spoken to. he’s just the swordsman capable of wielding the master sword and zelda’s chosen protector as far as the story is concerned. he has no opinions outside of doing what he’s told and looking for zelda. at least not as far as i could really tell. at least in botw, the story directly concerns him, and it’s his story we’re following. this time around zelda and the sages seem like the most important characters, link’s just... there, doing what he’s been told to.
the new sages are fine, none of them really endeared themselves to me, and i will say that making the player watch essentially the exact same cutscene each time you finish a dungeon was BAFFLING. they were long and you learned almost nothing new after the first one, and there was nothing done to make them very distinct to each individual pair of sages or their respective regions; at the very least, it could have been interesting to meet the ancient sages not in the exact same stone garden, but perhaps at the top of a snowy mountain for the rito, near a volcano or something for the goron, maybe in a shallow pool of water for the zora, and in the desert for the gerudo- but no, they’re all effectively the same thing just with the speaking character swapped out with some minor changes.
(the sages themselves are a pain in the ass to use, having to chase them down to activate their power or accidentally activating a power when you don’t want it; yunobo was honestly my favorite, but because i generally defaulted to having them all activated at all times, i had a lot of trouble with tulin blowing shit away from me when i was trying to grab it while midair. they’re half-decent for combat)
i didn’t really care for rauru or sonia, either. rauru in the present as a ghost was fine, he was kind of interesting and seemed to have changed from his time in the past, but he never managed to be a character i particularly liked. i wasn’t really a fan of his... arrogance? or something in the past scenes, and he never really came off as very interesting. sonia was nearly completely uninteresting which is a shame since she has an interesting design, she just felt delegated to the role of supporting rauru and zelda and then dying to motivate them.
ganondorf is a character i was really looking forward to seeing, and it really fucking sucks that he’s so god damn one-dimensional this time! the story can’t be fucked to delve into him beyond just giving us scenes that just tell us that he’s evil and wants to rule hyrule and get the secret stones and nothing else because fuck having complex villains, i guess. especially frustrating because within the game itself you can draw more interesting motivations up for him, but the game really just doubles-down on him being evil for the fuck of it and wanting to end the world because uhhhh... he’s evil don’t fucking worry about it
the ignoring of the triforce in this game sucks in that way, too, because the way the triforce works and how it can grant wishes made it a much more interesting goal for ganondorf to attain, rather than some poorly-named ‘secret stones’ that do nothing more than just amplify power or something. it sucks how black-and-white this damn story is and how it seems like it just wants to do away with any possible nuance or gray area. no one but the bad guys or side characters are flawed in any actually interesting or significant way.
at least ganondorf was still the most interesting character in the flashbacks.
and then zelda, oh god ZELDA. i honestly really liked her in botw. i liked how you saw her as a flawed, insecure, pressured teen, and how you saw her struggles to relate to link and how she eventually warmed up to him. you saw her as a flawed person who develops and as someone who cares deeply about her friends and her duties and gets frustrated by her failings.
and then in totk a lot of her more interesting traits- her interest in sheikah tech, her excitement over field study and research, her more defining traits as this incarnation of zelda- are basically sanded down and she’s just this perfect flawless princess with great power and an insanely passive role in the past beyond finally taking some kind of action after one of her friends dies and she’s pushed to the brink. cool. great.
she has practically no flaw in totk. if anyone in the present talks about her, they have nothing bad to say and just want to please her and follow her orders, she is right in telling the gerudo how to train their troops she is right even when misheard to tell people to put themselves in danger and she is hardly meaningfully questioned when her imposter is doing very clearly suspicious shit. neither the story nor any of the characters wants to let her be flawed. she’s just perfect in damn near every way and barely retains any interesting characterization she got in botw. there are some interesting snippets in her being a teacher and setting up memorials to those who died in the calamity, but there’s hardly any more than that, and it makes it really hard for me to give a damn about her. she’s not interesting this time.
the whole thing with zelda becoming a dragon too, is... it’s fine. it’s ok. but the fact that she turns back at the end with no problem whatsoever is one hell of a fucking misstep. why talk about draconification being forbidden for a good reason anyways if it doesn’t actually matter anyways??? if you never actually see any of those fucking repercussions why even bring them up??? i really feel like it would have been more effective for there to have been actual consequences for zelda beyond just fucking flying around half-conscious for a millennium or whatever- have her lose her memory when she’s brought back! there you go! there’s the reason why draconification is forbidden! there’s the thing about losing yourself! plus, zelda losing her memories as a result would mirror link having lost his memories in botw! that has so much more weight and significance then ‘oh uh ignore the warnings from a while back she’s completely fine dw abt it’ i hate that she’s back just like that without any of the consequences that the game suggests.
the dragon’s tears in general kinda just felt weaker than botw’s memories anyways bc you’re more just. watching stuff happen then actually learning anything. it has less characters and yet i feel like you only get to know like half of the important ones. like three of them are all about the same event. a few times they just replay parts of old memories in new ones. if they ever reference a past memory they just show you what they’re referencing instead of leaving you to piece it together. just play the voices or something don’t break the flow of things to play a clip of something i’ve already seen.
plus the fact that totk... barely acknowledges that it’s a sequel to botw really rubs me the wrong way. i understand that loz is extremely loose with its lore, but totk is a direct sequel set in the same world a few years later, and yet the events and characters of botw have might as well been forgotten and its all either ignored, brushed aside, or straight up replaced by something else for no good reason. the continuity between these games is absolutely dismal and to see the different ways in which the events and concepts or botw are just... disregarded really just left a bad taste in my mouth.
just- i love good stories and worlds in video games, and while some games can coast by for me by feeling good to play, having a good and engaging story and characters is usually essential to my enjoyment of a game, and when i don’t care about to the point of disliking the story and characters, and when none of the important areas are fascinating or distinct enough from each other, and when the game even fails to really reel me in with the gameplay...
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i wanted to like totk, but it really just did not work for me. i just ended up feeling frustrated and disappointed and even sometimes bored with all of the major stuff and man. totk is really, REALLY, not for me, and it just left me wanting to play older zelda games instead.
...
HOWEVER! there were actually some things i really loved about totk! it’s not all doom and gloom! (well, not all doom, at least)
so! the music was great! not all of it really fit or made a lot of sense with the context in which they played or failed to evoke the feeling they were meant to, but the new tracks in this game were great! i especially love the first two phases of the fire temple’s theme, the depths music, and most of the new battle and boss themes. zelda games almost never fail when it comes to the music.
i did genuinely like the fire temple- yunobo’s ability was used the best in this dungeon, and it had the best five switches gimmick, i loved how you had to hit the gongs (sometimes having to construct a path to account for the weaknesses of yunobo’s ability) and how it then ‘scared’ each of the five statues holding a part of the gate- it was very cute and fit in very well with the general feel of that part of the story. it was the best in terms of difficulty and complexity, but it didn’t have the best boss- the lightning temple had the best boss, and i will admit that even if most of them were easy, i really enjoyed the mirror puzzles, as well as the process to unlocking the dungeon. the wind temple had my favorite visual identity and aesthetic, though, i liked it being a part of this old rito song, and how it was the most distinct in looks from the other dungeons.
the sky islands were honestly fun, even if they weren’t all that interesting. getting to some of the harder-to-reach islands were some of my favorite times i had to use ultrahand, and stuff like the zonai forge island and the one orblike island with the mirror puzzle, and pretty much all of the more complicated parts of the sky islands were a lot of fun to explore and figure out.
being able to ride on the dragons was just really cool, and the fact that they come out of the chasms was fun.
the new horns for the monsters were cool, it helps differentiate the different monster strengths and i just thought they were really neat.
the quest with lurelin village was fun, even if the pirates just being monsters was a real let-down.
the stable trotters were also a fun bunch of characters, that was a good, new way to open up fairy fountains.
all of the new stuff with the yiga was really fun, like getting their outfit and being able to pretend to be one of them and learning the blademaster attack- so much fun it was so cute.
most of the new outfits are really good and useful, and while a bit janky and not that great, the house-building bit near tarrey was endearing.
while none of the main characters interested me, i really, especially liked tauro and yona and penn. for some reason they just appealed to me and i really wish they had bigger parts in the game because they’re interesting and they have good designs and i’d really like to know more about them.
the underground gerudo shelter was pretty cool, to be honest, and the look of the caves was really cool.
i adored the proving grounds shrines- easily my favorite shrines in the entire game, i had no problem spending a decent amount of time in those kinds of shrines, they were fantastic.
the new ingredients and recipes and new weapons were cool.
the way you basically return to the area you started at on your way to ganondorf is pretty cool, that whole path is really neat.
ganondorf in general was a pretty cool boss, even if he ended up being kind of easy for me. the whole final boss sequence was neat.
by FAR, though, my absolute favorite part of this game was 100% the depths. the fact that there was just an entire second layer to the map that was the same size as the surface, just inverted and dark and filled with new bosses and locations... i spent hours down there without going back up to the surface and absolutely had a BLAST screwing around in the dark, lighting up my path with brightblooms and tossing together little vehicles with lights so that i could get to the next lightroot off in the distance. the depths was probably where i ended up using zonai vehicles the most, and it was honestly pretty fun to go around spotting and reaching every lightroot, coming across different mines and weird little landforms and coliseums and yiga camps. the music and plantlife and look of the depths were so good, and it really felt distinct from the rest of the game in a very good way. doing all of the lightroots and getting enough zonaite to max out link’s energy cells was definitely a good move since it made finding shrines and dealing with later zonai machine stuff easier.
overall, tears of the kingdom was a severely mixed bag for me, and while there was stuff i did like, i don’t think it’s enough to really get me to say that i really liked this game overall- after all most of the stuff i disliked was unavoidable parts of the games, and it definitely put a hamper on my interest in the rest of the time. totk is fine, but it’s really not my thing. 
#i just- *slams head into brick wall* bro i did not have a good time with this game#going back to my silly little comparison point; totk was $70 and my copy of phantom hourglass was $70#$70 is a bullshit amount for a game but thats no the point here#totk from a technical baseline standpoint as a GAME is worth $70#its story and the amount of enjoyment it gave me was not worth $70 tho. the story and enjoyment i got from ph was more worth $70 to me#salty talks#loz#legend of zelda#totk#'zelda games almost never fail when it comes to the music' if you talk shit abt ph's soundtrack i'll kill you. i like the dungeon track#i partially have the shinji chair image saved for this but i did also initally save it yesterday when i finished nge#listen this was fine on a surface level but it just wore me the fuck down#link was just some flavor of stonefaced or surprised or determined in any given cutscene and like. idk. wasnt too interested in him either#look i know about the silly little dialogue options. still didnt do it for me#link getting his arm back only makes sense to me bc i got every last light of blessing and heart container and stamina vessel#the gloom in his body is 100% gone hes squeaky clean for me. whyd you take his shirt off tho. at least keep his hat. cant take it seriously#put him in the archaic set or smth his arm is fully visible that way at least and its full circle thats what he wears at the start#couldnt take the whole grabbing zelda sequence seriously bc i missed the (hold) prompt and link flew away lol#totk spoilers#also wasnt really a fan of most of the voice acting yeah sorry. kinda rough all around aside from like ganondorf and dimitri- i mean rauru#mineru and the rito sage were fine too ig. im not going to bother watching any vids or whatever to check again#riju and sidon were fine too#sonia was cool too but everyone else was a lil rough tbh esp with having to say 'secret stone' that name sucks shit#my switch died in the middle of the credits. i had like 25% when i started fighting ganondorf.#it died twice actually cuz i charged it for a few minutes and what like yeah 5% should be good and nope. died again#anyways whatever. im not giving it a rating im tired of this game i dont think i'll be replaying or even just touching it any time soon#music was top notch again tho. made me feel stuff more than the actual story did. cool ig#bitching abt totk
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jankwritten · 1 year
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Jason Grace who finally has enough and turns around and snaps at the people who poke and prod at him about being perfect. His team loses ten seconds in a race because someone tripped and fell and they stopped to help, and someone on one of the lower-ranking teams makes an offhanded comment about how Jason probably wished they hadn't wasted the time and they kinda nudge him like he's in on the joke but he turns around and shoves them flat onto their ass instead. He kicks dirt on them. He says, "don't even begin to act like you know what's going on inside my head," through gritted teeth with a voice that's just a shade more voice than growl.
I want Jason Grace playing a secret role board game and everybody keeps joking that Jason can't possibly be the villain because he'd give himself up, that's just how perfect Jason Grace is, he can't even fake being evil for thirty minutes, haha, meanwhile Jason grips tighter and tighter to the little traitor token in his pocket and loses the game, because he got lost in making that one specific person miserable.
Camp-wide truth or dare where people keep giving Jason all the tame fetch-quest type dares like they all think he'd immediately protest to anything even slightly straying from the rules to the point that he starts targeting other people with the worst dares he can think of, asking the nastiest truths, things that go beyond petty gossip into realities. They decide to end the game early because he asked one of the Aphrodite boys if it was true he laughed while his capture the flag teammate nearly bled out last weekend.
Jason Grace who had all of his wolf traits beaten out of him by a merciless system that couldn't see who he was beyond a name, a son, a soldier, so when he bares his teeth it's not to threaten he'll physically bite yknow. Because when he snaps it's not his jaw it's his tongue you need to worry about.
Jason Grace who is a menace, and not in a good cute fun way. Jason Grace who is a bully and an asshole and he sucks and he deserves it.
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