#yasha and lightning is just so many things to me

[utilitycaster]

Any thoughts on FCG's first commune with the Changebringer?

LOVED IT.

I think my initial frustrations with FCG are extremely well-documented, but I've been a huge fan of FCG exploring faith - as I've said elsewhere, for all this is a robot flipping a coin, it's genuinely one of the more thoughtful portrayals of how grappling with religion as an institution and a philosophy actually looks like. Like, for all FCG has professed so much belief, his first question is "are you real".

I've loved all the explorations of religion on Critical Role, to be honest, and have found that they've covered a wide range of experiences - but until this campaign, it's always fallen into two categories:

people who have been followers of a deity since childhood (Pike, Jester, Caduceus)

people who have been rescued by or made a promise to a deity for something incredibly important (Vax, Yasha, Fjord; to a lesser extent Vex and Scanlan; this is also where Deanna falls)

FCG is just here because they're exploring! They're here because they didn't know how to feel about the fact that they were, demonstrably, put on this planet as an assassin, and killed many of their friends, and the same person who told them about the Care and Culling also said "hey, change and reinvention and finding a different path are possible; I believe this utterly, and here is the token of my belief." He's not really asking for anything other than "is there someone out there who sees me as more than what I think I am." Honestly, while it frustrated me earlier that he had no source for his powers? It means that this is truly entirely coming from him. Like, I don't think it lessens the devotion of other characters that they have gained benefits or abilities from their gods or feel they owe them something. But it's also fascinating that FCG is not (for example) like Fjord, trying to find a way out of a bad deal, or like Vax, trying to save someone he loves, or like the characters who have had cleric powers reliant on their deities from such a young age that it is central to their identity. This is purely voluntary.

In some ways, it's the most realistic depiction of real-world religion because like...man, I don't know if anything's out there. I do not believe there is an old dude in the sky, and I think religion, when it is at its best, is a consolidation of a community-oriented philosophical and moral framework that we hang on a made-up anthropomorphic entity because abstract concepts are hard and concrete things are easy and ritual is grounding. I don't think I will be struck down by lightning if I eat bacon, and especially as someone who has something of a "do what feels right" approach to what practices I follow I in fact know I won't be struck down by lightning if I break some. And yeah, it's an arbitrary accident of birth and circumstance that I am the religion I am. But also, I don't get Guiding Bolt out of it, so it's a wash.

However, unlike me, or any of the many people who fall neither on the "I believe this utterly" or hard-line atheist scale but rather somewhere in the vast in-between, FCG worships a god we know is real and actually gets to ask them some questions. And when they do all they ask for is whether the Changebringer is real, and sees them, and what they can do, and that's an incredibly beautiful moment. Commune is one of those spells you can use to try to just get answers and none of this is about that. It's just about a connection. And particularly in the wake of what FCG has just witnessed, and the fact that the gods have withdrawn slightly, it says a lot that this worked.

#answered #Anonymous #(extremely long digression about Leonard Cohen's You Want it Darker/the meaning of Hineni redacted for time) #critical role spoilers #fcg #fresh cut grass

[chockfullofsecrets]

Critical Role: The Opposite of Cuddling

(Read on AO3)

Rating: Gen

Summary: And maybe it wouldn’t be too bad, but - “That’s not gonna work,” he says, feeling a little bad as her face falls. “I’m way too ticklish for that.”

Jester’s expression rebounds at lightning speed. “Caduceus! You’re ticklish?”

“Oh. Yeah,” he grins.

Dome cuddles don't quite work out, but the Mighty Nein make do.

Wordcount: 1.8k (it would be short if it wasn’t supposed to be a snippet fic aaa)

A/N: maybe i am just in the mood for cuddly gang tickles. maybe so. 

---

“So,” Jester is proselytizing, brandishing a diagram from her sketchbook into dubious faces, “if we cuddle up around Caduceus just like this it’s going to be super soft and comfy and warm until we get out of this stupid weather! Any questions?”

Caduceus puts his teacup aside and leans down to peer at the sketch. It’s really good, especially the faces. She must have drawn it while watching them sleep last night.

And maybe it wouldn’t be too bad, but - “That’s not gonna work,” he says, feeling a little bad as her face falls. “I’m way too ticklish for that.”

Jester’s expression rebounds at lightning speed. “Caduceus! You’re ticklish?”

“Oh. Yeah,” he grins. It feels good to see her happy, tail flicking as she clutches her sketchbook in clear delight - after two days of nonstop freezing rain, even her forceful cheer has been wavering. “It’s nice, sometimes, but not when we’re, you know. Sleeping.”

“So I could tickle you right now and you wouldn’t be, like, really mad at me?” Jester presses. She’s scooting towards him as she asks, practically trembling with excitement. It’s awfully cute.

Well, it’s been a while, but he can’t say he’s not a little eager for the contact. He ignores the looks from the rest of their group and flops back onto his bedroll, wriggling a little to get comfortable. “Yeah, that’d be good.”

“Um,” Beau says from somewhere behind him, a little strangled. Oh, right.

“We’re not keeping people awake, are we?” he asks, craning his neck to the various edges of the dome people have settled in. “Anyone set on sleeping right now?”

Beau makes a face. "That's not the weird part, Duceus."

“They can help!” Jester chirps, and then she’s cuddled into his side and wiggling tiny tiefling claws above his belly. “Oh, Ca-du-ceus!”

She’s pitching her voice as deep and scary as it can go. It’s not very far. “Yeah?”

“Where’s your very worst tickle spot?”

He laughs. “Telling you that feels like a bad idea.”

“Then I’ll just have to fi-ind it!” She tugs his shirt up with one quick move, and he barely has time to feel the cold before she’s latching onto his sides and burying her entire face into the downy fur on his belly. “Ooh, you’re so soft and warm! I want to cuddle you forever, Caduceus.”

It tickles, but just a little - honestly, he’s more amused by her. “Can’t say I’ve heard that before,” he chuckles, reaching out to poke gently at her side. “You’re not bad yourself.”

She squeaks, pulling her head up just enough to gasp at him. “Oh my gosh, Caduceus, did you just tickle me back? Guys, you have to come help me!”

“Nah, I’m good,” Beau snorts.

Jester lets out a massive sigh and flops back down onto him, and for a pleasant minute or two it’s just her nuzzling into him as he watches raindrops pelt off the amber dome overhead.

Then there’s a rustle, and some clinking, and before he can do anything more than lazily twitch one of his ears in the direction of the sound Yasha’s upside-down face pushes into his field of view.

“Do you mind if I join?” she asks in her quiet way. “I don’t want to overwhelm you.”

Jester springs upright, grabbing happily for her hands. “Yes! Join us!”

Caduceus echoes her, snorting out a quiet laugh as Jester regains some of her energy and starts to scribble her way up his sides. He doesn't have any quiet siblings - Yasha reminds him a little more of the mourners, so it’s always nice to see her reach out. He's good at appreciating that sort of thing.

Yasha smiles shyly down at the both of them as she pulls his head into her lap and starts to play with his ears. “These are so soft,” she marvels. “Are you ticklish here?”

His ears have always been one of his siblings’ favorite spots to tease him with, and apparently they haven’t gotten any less sensitive in the last ten years. “Yeah,” he gasps. “Heh - just - hehe - a little bit.”

There's a frustrated groan off to his right. “Okay, I’ll bite.” Footsteps track around to his side, fleet and quiet, and he waits patiently for a flash of blue cloth to cross his gaze. “But only ‘cause ears are a fucking weird spot and I want to see if this works on you.”

Beau crouches by his side and curls her fingers loosely. “I’m gonna punch you,” she warns. “Probably not that hard, but don’t tense up.”

He nods as best as he can while tilting his head to better let Yasha worry her fingernails at the backs of his ears - he’s not sure if he could feel more boneless if he tried, right now.

The heel of her fist strikes him right in the middle of his chest, fingers clutching around something intangible - that something scurries its way down every nerve he has, and he coughs out a startled laugh before he can help himself. “What was that?”

“Payback for growing lichen on me back at your house,” she quips, but her eyes are narrowed in clear concentration. “Okay, ears, ears… wrists? And knees? And - fuck, man, your entire back? Really? Jes, let’s flip him over, this is going to be good.”

Well, that’s unexpected.

“Wait - ha!” Caduceus yelps, squirming as fingers start to pry their way underneath him. “Hold on now-”

He’s bigger than both of them by far, but they’re strong and not above tickling the backs of his ribs until he starts to squeal. "You're so thin, Caduceus!" Jester exclaims, hooking a finger into the tender gap between two bones and wriggling it mercilessly - his back arches entirely without his permission, letting Beau pry him another inch off the ground, and he whines defensively. "We have to feed you more!"

They get as far as rolling him onto his side before Beau loses patience and starts prodding smugly at his spine. “Your ki is pretty shivery around here, Duceus,” she teases. “Trying to hide your worst spots, huh? Bet you thought we weren’t gonna take this seriously.”

Caduceus is too busy laughing to deal with - any of that, really, especially when Jester slings herself over him so she can reach his back too. “I’m - ahaha! aaa! - oh, that tickles!”

As if in direct response to his babbling, a small weight bundles into the back of his knees. He curls up reflexively with a strangled shout - it’s Nott, cuddling up to him with a shivery sigh as an invisible hand starts to pinch at his kneecaps. “You’re right,” she crows to Jester. “He is soft.”

It does feel nice, being buried under this many people and tickled till the marrow of every bone in his body shivers, happy and helpless, and when Fjord finally sits in front of him and presses a questioning hand to his shoulder Caduceus doesn’t resist the impulse to clutch his hands and pull him in closer.

Fjord comes easily, huffing in quiet amusement as Caduceus buries his face in him and Yasha and wriggles like a freshly surfaced earthworm. “You alright there?” he drawls. “You sound like they’re trying to kill you.”

Nott snorts from somewhere near his belly. “We should stop, then, we’ve only got the one cleric.”

“Hey!”

Everything abruptly derails as Jester launches herself towards Nott and, from the sound of it, kicks Beau right in the face - there’s wheezing, and then shouting, and then the telltale sugar-sweet scent of Jester’s healing magic.

Caduceus holds very still. "Is everyone okay?"

"Yeah," Beau confirms, mangled. He can practically picture Jester frantically squishing her cheeks around as she checks for damage.

A typical tickle fight, as far as the Clays are concerned, just with a different smell - the Wildmother's healing tends more earthy. Even though they’ve stopped tickling, Caduceus can’t help but laugh.

He’s not sure if he imagines Fjord fluttering light fingers along the insides of his wrists as he catches his breath, but by the time he wheezes out one last fit of giggles and rolls himself back over everyone seems to be keeping a respectful distance, if a good deal closer together than they were at the beginning of the evening. “I think that went pretty well,” he says, pleased.

“...so you’re stupid ticklish,” Beau says dryly, scrubbing a bit of dried blood from her lip. “No cuddling Duceus while he’s trying to be unconscious, message received.”

There’s a chorus of agreement from all but one - Caduceus looks around and spots their final member for the first time since they sat down for dinner, nose buried in a book and ears suspiciously red.

He hasn’t moved an inch all night, even to escape the noise, which leaves him only a few feet away from the rest of them. Caduceus gets the feeling he’s about to regret that. “Oh, I’m sure there are those that have it worse,” he grins. “Right, Mr. Caleb?”

Caleb’s gaze snaps up over the edge of his book. “Ja,” he rushes out, strangled. “I mean - nein - of course I am not - I am just trying to read here-”

Jester doesn’t wait for him to dig his grave any deeper. “Oh my gosh, Cay-leb, are you super ticklish too?”

Caleb stuffs his book back into its holster and holds a hand out preventatively, reaching with panicked precision for a strip of leather tied just above his knee with the other. “No, I am not-”

“Oh, no you don’t.” Fjord rocks backward and reaches out with one broad hand, latching onto Caleb's wrist, and Caleb promptly abandons all spellcasting to kick at him like a startled rabbit.

Despite that, he reels Caleb in gently, scooping him into a neat little ball before he heaves him into the middle of their little circle and squarely on top of Caduceus. “I think we owe you a nice, long thank you for this lovely dome, don’t we?”

There’s a moment of silence as Caleb presumably thinks about how easy it would be to kill them all in this enclosed space. “This,” he says, as severely as he can with his feet in the air and hair in his eyes, “is the opposite of cuddling, and if you do not leave me alone then tomorrow night I am going to make all of you sleep in the rain.”

Even the seasoned homebody in Caduceus knows that’s the exact wrong thing to say to a group of damp and grumpy adventurers - if the mood in the dome was mischievous before, it takes a steep dive into outright evil.

Beau cracks her knuckles. “Yeah? Let’s see what you have to say when we tickle you again tomorrow.”

And if Caduceus laughs as Caleb gives one startled owlish blink and then scrambles to hide as much of himself behind Caduceus as possible - well, that’s not from the tickling at all.

#Tickling #critical role #caduceus clay #jester lavorre #the mighty nein #bc i cannot tag all seven of them that feels illegal #chocfic

[tiamat-zx]

How about Yasha?

An anon ALSO asked for Yash, so okay! Let’s do it!

Why I like them

She’s just as much an extension of Ashley Johnson as Pike was. In fact, she’s also very much like Ellie in TLOU: a vengeful sapphic that you do NOT want to cross as she is very protective of her loved ones. Also, she’s a very different kind of barbarian: one who hates being forced to fight and is weary of it, and who is deep down just the gentlest and sweetest radiant soul of an angelkin. And her rage is very much like a storm itself: slow and rumbling until the inevitable thunderclap that precedes the lightning strike of her blade.

She also became the first player character to undergo an entire subrace change: from a fallen aasimar to a protector.

WHAT I don’t like

Ashley’s numerous absences due to Blindspot as it left Yasha as little more than someone to jaeger and therefore she wasn’t able to truly participate in RP. It took until the show’s conclusion for her to finally come home and truly spread Yasha’s wings and show us the full extent of her character.

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

A bit of a two-fer.

First favorite episode: “A Storm of Memories”. The episode where we learned our first true glimpse into Yasha’s past, including the existence of Zuala and the first tease of Obann’s presence. It was the first time we could see past the perceived “metal goth angel” vibe to see who she is: a broken bird wanting to fly again.

And the second favorite episode: “Into the Eye”. Her dreamscape trial against the Stormlord’s elementals. The moment she fully embraced her purpose as his Avatar. She had desperately been seeking purpose, and had been wanting to establish her standing with the Stormlord. And then when he finally asked her The Question, “Where do you find your strength?”, she did not hesitate. She knew her purpose, had known it ever since the night before her date with Beau: to protect. It gave her the resolve to persist against the odds and survive the rest of the campaign.

And speaking of, I have to include a third: “Worth Fighting For”. Yes, the date night. Specifically, the moment she finally confessed her feelings to Beau and let herself be just as open and vulnerable as her partner was aiming to be.

Favorite season/movie

The Rumblecusp arc and the last few episodes before the pandemic. It showed us the beginning of her reconstruction and rebirth, manifesting in the harp performance in Vo and her dream where she gained her wings, forever shedding her fallen self and ascending into the protector she was meant to be. Also, it was the arc where she began to come to terms with her feelings for Beau. Slowly but surely, through small moments, up to the maiden flight. From there, those feelings that had begun to sprout since Kamordah continued to grow.

If anything, Rumblecusp was a turning point for many of the Nein. Yasha was someone that needed it most.

Favorite line

Is it wrong of me to say that my favorite line of Yasha’s would be the entire letter she wrote for Beau?

Aside from that, it would be what she said to Beau upon admitting her feelings: “I really care about you, and I just hope, if anything, that you know I’m… I'm so proud of the person that you've become. Just seeing where you started and where you are now, you have completely done that on your own. And I just, I'm-- You blow me away.”

Favorite outfit

Her Eiselcross outfit, with the Coat of the Crest.

OTP

Beauyasha, obviously. And of course, her first love, Zuala. I wouldn’t be doing her justice had I NOT acknowledged her. And PURELY on the platonic side, with Molly, as he was just as much a loved one as Zuala and Beau and he left an equally strong impact on her life.

Brotp

With Caleb. They are able to relate so well, both being Haunted Ones. Also, with Jester and Veth as a fellow chaos gremlin.

Head Canon

I believe her level 10 outfit was given to her by Obann, and he burned her old attire but spared her shawl intentionally, just to twist the knife on purpose. And while we don’t see her arms in her level 13 art due to the coat, I think she tore the sleeves from her level 10 outfit so she could have the Orphanmaker tattoo visible. But eventually, after the campaign, she disposed of the leathers entirely and began wearing plain clothes altogether and even got herself a haircut.

Also, she is taught druidic magic upon finally meeting Reani for the first time, to help supplement her gardening.

Unpopular opinion

She did not need a proper “arc” as she willingly didn’t want to go back to the Iothia Moorlands… at least until the finale where she went with Beau to find Zuala’s grave. As far as she was concerned, the past should remain in the past. And she chose to keep it that way by not seeking vengeance on the tribe and choosing to live in peace.

Also, “lifespan angst” is such a stupid thing to fuss over with them. Sure, Yasha WILL outlive Beau, but she will still be happy to spend as much of their life together as possible. And she wouldn’t have it any other way.

A wish

I wish for her and Beau to live a peaceful life for the rest of their days.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

For her and Beau to ever suffer a breakup.

5 words to best describe them

Angel, protector, lover, sapphic, sentinel.

My nickname for them

The “wolf” to Beau’s “lion”.

#Warriorbard2012 #yasha nydoorin #critical role #cr spoilers #ask game

[beauregardlionett]

// a quick thing inspired by @casukaga wonderful art of beau because i’m w e a k

She never truly felt important before the Nein.

There had of course been the natural self-importance of children. The belief the world revolved around you before the self-awareness set in and the world beyond the walls of your childhood home became real. Even then, the distance between her parents and Beau yielded little reassurance of her worth.

With the Nein, it was a gradual thing. Days, weeks, months on the road together, protecting one another and learning the ins and outs of their trauma brought about its own sense of importance. There stood an unspoken weight of worth - especially after Molly - that they needed each other. If one of them were to vanish, it would be like a block tower losing a piece of foundation.

Beau learned how to bear the weight in silence, because they rarely said things out loud. Permanence was foreign to some of them, especially Beau, but she got used to the wordless affirmations. She learned how to accept Fjord joining her for workouts, watching her back and watching his in turn. How to meet Jester halfway when they shared whispered recollections after a long day, giggling into the quiet night. Beau became familiar with the sturdy weight of Veth leaning into Beau’s hip while they traded companionable silence or outlandish stories.

It was a little more disorienting to find her footing with Caleb’s permanence, because even he struggled to figure their waltz out. Eventually, they learned how to let their similarities intertwine and how to compromise their differences. She had an easier time learning Caduceus’ ways, but a harder time accepting. It took several sessions of brewing tea and simmering emotions on Beau’s end to understand that his calm presentation was not a facade. That he would not disappear on them the way Molly had.

And then there was Yasha - who was anything but permanence. The hardest for Beau to learn and accept. At first, Yasha existed like a flash of lightning - un coup de foudre - there one moment and gone the next. Even when she promised to come around again, Beau never took her word for it.

Because Beau had never been important, never someone worth coming back to.

But Yasha returned every time. And Beau struggled to reconcile her perceived worthlessness with that.

And then Yasha was different - gone - and Beau’s unfortunate first thought had been about time things made sense again.

She instantly hated herself, because that wasn’t fair to Yasha, who couldn’t be evil, couldn’t have turned against them. So imagine Beau’s surprise when they learned Yasha had not willingly turned against them, had fought and screamed and cried to break free and return. Who apologized several times over for hurting Beau, who continued to heal Beau with warm hands and held her like she was important, like she was worth permanence.

Recently, Beau’s importance to people took on the form of words.

Follow your own advice. Don’t go.

Stay alive, Beauregard.

Stay alive, please.

Return to us.

Stay. Alive.

How was she supposed to know how to respond? Her entire life, Beauregard had been cast aside, told she was a problem, too much to handle, too brash, too crude. A problem passed from one set of hands to another, like they might solve her by beating down every jagged edge she possessed. They acted as if the process didn’t shatter her and produce more jagged shards for more people to handle.

Being told, to her face, that she meant something to people, that they wanted her to come back, was jarring. She never considered she would make it this far, of the full expectation that she would never see the age of twenty-five. There was no fail-safe for gratitude, for genuine affection.

She assumed she would be Achilles, struck down from behind in a spot of vulnerability exposed.

What was she supposed to do now when people expected her - wanted her - to come back?

Yasha found her stuck in the spiral of these thoughts, chewing the skin back from her fingernails with absent vigor.

“Beau?”

She looked up at the call of her name. The motion tore back a piece of skin she had caught between her teeth. Beau winced and made a quiet noise of surprised pain. The skin around her nail was shiny with saliva and the blood welling from the tear.

Yasha knelt quickly at Beau’s side, one hand encircling Beau’s wrist and the other laying gentle pressure over her knuckles. The soft glow from Yasha’s hands raced through Beau’s veins and sealed the tiny wound.

Beau wondered when she became so important a figure to Yasha that she would spend her precious healing on someone like Beau without a second thought.

“What’s wrong, Beau?” Yasha asked in that soft voice Beau had come to know so well.

“Nothing,” Beau tried to lie, and saw the shift in Yasha’s expression when she didn’t believe her.

“I don’t know,” Beau sighed, acutely aware of Yasha’s hands still holding her wrist. “Just having a minor crisis, I suppose. ’Bout time, I guess. They’re usually scheduled once every two months.”

Her deprecating attempt at humor did not seem to amuse Yasha. She leveled Beau with a look that seemed to pierce through every feeble defense Beau was hastily trying to construct.

It occurred to Beau that this conversation felt sort of inevitable.

“People keep telling me to stay alive lately,” Beau said, turning her eyes away from Yasha’s face. She had a hard time maintaining eye contact on a normal day. When emotions were added into the mix - especially her own - it was impossible for Beau to hold another person’s gaze.

“Which, like, that isn’t a bad thing,” Beau continued. “But it feels like a lot of pressure. It’s a heavy expectation to put on someone who may or may not end up in the astral plane fighting a floating, conscious city in about a week. I think it’s just...making me realize how many people I have in my life now that are permanent and care about me? I’ve never been...important to other people before.”

She risked a glance at Yasha, found a glimmer of guilty realization there, and hated herself. Yasha had been one of the people to tell her to stay alive.

Then again, Beau had extended the same sentiment to Yasha in return, so maybe she was just as bad.

“How about,” Yasha started, then stopped. Beau turned more fully toward her, curious about the tone to Yasha’s voice.

“What if I asked you to stay with me instead?”

Beau blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Instead of asking you to stay alive,” Yasha shaped each word with careful consideration, brows furrowed with concentration. “I’m asking you to stay with me. All you have to do is stick with us, and that seems much more manageable if you ask me.”

Her words startled a watery laugh out of Beau, and she hadn’t realized how close to crying she was until it happened.

“Yeah,” Beau said, voice warbled. “Yeah, that sounds a lot easier.”

Yasha smiled, the pull of her lips small and fond, relieved if a little sad. Her fingers released Beau’s wrist so she could lift an arm in invitation. Another facet of Yasha’s permanence presented to Beau without hesitation, an action that left Beau breathless.

It didn’t take her as long as it once did to accept the offer.

#cr #critical role #beauregard lionett #writing #my writing #yasha #minor beauyasha but this is mostly about beau #a little bit of projection but i'm doing this as a treat for myself #c2e125 #spoilers

[omniscientwreck]

To Belong

Alright here’s some hurt/comfort as requested. Canon divergence where Caleb wasn’t able to dispel Gaudius’ hold on Essek. 

One of Lucien’s many eyes looks toward him and everything slows. Warmth seeps in through his pores, sinking in through skin going straight to his head. He hears their call and for a moment he resists but, why would he? 

He’s never belonged. He didn’t belong in Roshona, surrounded by religious zealots blinded by the comfort that comes with trust. Incurious, simple minded fools. He didn’t even belong with the Nein, not really. None of them trust him, he’s been eclipsed by his sins and nothing can break through to them. 

He needs a blank slate, if he is to belong anywhere he has to be able to start over completely. That is what Gaudius offers, a new beginning, no judgement, no proving himself. He doesn’t have to work for their acceptance and love fills his heart. The Somnovum will take him as he is and there’s never anything he’s wanted more.

Everything is clearer now, these people were never in it for him. He drags his hands, beginning to pull at the strands of gravity as Lucien fills his mind with the power he can achieve once he’s one with them. When he joins the city.

The human lifts his hand to cast at him and without even thinking he waves his hand to counter the spell. “Essek no!” The blue tiefling looks horrified, feigning care even now. 

He curls his fingers in, pooling gravity and thrusts his hands forward, centering the darkness on the wizard who’s toyed with him for nearly a year. The effect isn’t immediate but it will pay off, he’s sure and those caught inside, the humans, the clerics, the angel, the halfling will feel it’s effects soon enough. 

The firbolg is the first. He hasn’t taken much damage but this seems to get to him. As Essek’s fingers clench he crumples like paper and Essek squeezes before releasing. He flies as far as he can but it isn’t far enough. More will come. 

Up next, he feels the thief resisting, she’s strong and muscles through but it’s not pretty. Her form stretches briefly as he pulls and stretches with two hands before snapping back into place and he’s sure she cries for the wizard who cannot hear or see her. Something twinges in the back of his mind but Lucien calls out again and he remembers the family waiting for him. 

The monk tries to appeal to him through her newfound abilities, she seems to be able to see through the darkness. She tries her hardest to reach some part of him still foolish enough to turn away from happiness and towards them, he hardly listens. She moves to run out of his grasp but just before she can make it he grabs hold and twists. Her body contorts and he can almost feel her crumble away, but she gains control and she just barely breaks out of his grasp. 

He feels Caleb try to resist but his efforts just aren’t enough. He looks Essek directly in the eyes, and he hears whispers of the wizard’s voice try to get through to him, “You must break free, we need more time”. Essek’s face stretches into a wicked grin at this obvious manipulation tactic (I will show you belonging the way he couldn’t bear to) as he twists his wrist and pulls down, compressing the body in front of him. The wizard nearly leaves his influence but he’ll have another chance to take him down. 

The angel didn’t stand a chance. She can’t resist the pull of his gravity and even if she could scream the monk’s name she wouldn’t be able to see her or save her. As he finishes with her his mind drifts back to memory, spurred by the wizard’s sweet words. We need more time. It will take time. You were not born with venom in your veins. Something snaps in the back of his mind and the Nonagon’s whispers turn to acid in his mind. He can see properly, he drops the spell and turns to Lucien, screaming as he turns on the beast with nine eyes, unleashing a torrent of inky black lightning, hitting him square in the chest. 

-------

The battle is over and by some strange grace they’re all alive. The Nein are both celebrating and consoling each other. In the end they appealed to Molly and, for the second time, he was his own undoing. 

It feels like intruding to be there, he who has done another irrevocable deed. He would leave immediately if he still had the energy but that effort is insurmountable. Caduceus had gotten them back to their own plane and they’re resting in an open field, surrounded by Caleb’s alarm spell, taking turns at watch. None of them are quite ready to be around their loved ones quite yet, needing one more night together as a family before dealing with the gravity of what they’ve accomplished. 

Fjord holds Jester, keeping an eye on the horizon and whispering comfort as she silently cries into his shoulder. Beau and Yasha are curled together trying to sleep, Caleb has Frumpkin around his shoulders and Veth is curled into his side, Caduceus’ legs overlapping with Fjord’s in the tight space. There’s hardly room for Essek to sit in this small circle of sombre camaraderie, and the emotions of his travelling companions are simply too much for him so he stands to put some distance between them. Just for a moment. Just so he doesn’t have to look them in the eyes.

He stands, knees cracking and makes his way out to he open field. Nobody seems disturbed, none of them react and nobody calls after him. In the night air he’s met with stars and silence, the night sky used to comfort him. Now it’s a void he could be swallowed in and with the way he feels right now, he wishes it would. 

His hair is coated with somebody’s blood, his body is battered and bruised and his spirit is shattered. They’d taken him along to help, they’d allowed him such an important opportunity to redeem himself and he’d nearly killed them. He’d made it far easier for Lucien to knock them down, luckily Caduceus and Jester had been focused and able to heal quickly enough. He’d ended up being a burden and once again a traitor. 

“Essek.” He hears his name, a warning so he isn’t startled. Caleb’s voice drifts on the breeze, “Are you alright?” 

He sighs, letting his head fall and squeezing his eyes shut. “No.”

“Let’s sit.” 

He obliges, silent, waiting for Caleb to set the tone. 

“You need to know we do not blame you for what happened. Yasha turned too, these things are not our fault.” 

He can’t bare to look over but he does anyway. Caleb’s eyes shine with worry, furrowed brow pulling creases into his forehead. “It could have turned out so badly Caleb. That magic, it’s made to kill. You are all very lucky for your ability to escape and my comparative lack of experience in battle. I could have turned you to dust.” 

Caleb sighs, “Guilt over hypotheticals is a waste of your time and energy. You could have, but you didn’t. We’re all still here, and we wouldn’t be without you. Don’t let yourself fall into the trap of comfortable self-loathing, you’ll waste years.” 

“You couldn’t understand Caleb, I was convinced. I didn’t even want to resist. It was only-” he pauses on the brink of the confession and decides to throw caution to the wind, “It was only you that brought me back. My mind wasn’t my own, I was imprisoned and lied to and I was stupid enough to believe it.” 

“I understand more than you know.” He looks instantly older, Essek has frequently wondered what Trent had done to Caleb to take such a bright and excellent man with so much kindness in his heart, and turn him hard. “I have been deceived, lied to, it lead to my worst moments. I’ve told you we are not so different and it’s clearer now more than ever. If there is redemption for me, as I’ve been assured many times there will be, you will find yours.” 

Essek shakes his head, “It would have been nobler for me to die for the world than to continue this pathetic existence. It would have been a just end, poetic and balanced. Now there’s so much unresolved I don’t know where to start or where to go.” 

Caleb’s hand covers his on the grass, “Well, we can start by researching, it’s what we do best. Everyone else has someone to go to, family to see, something to go back to. I only have forward momentum, more to learn and see. You could join me, we can go back to Aeor and see what comes.” 

Essek nods, “I do not deserve that but because I am a selfish creature I accept your offer.” 

Caleb squeezes his hand and he looks up again, into his eyes, “It does not matter what you think you deserve. You are not the decider of what I offer you.” He has a fierce look about him, he may have hit a nerve, “Trust that I know what I want and when I say I want you with me it’s not out of pity or some savior complex. Let me offer you this and quell any self-pity or doubt. I’m not obligated to like you or want to be around you, but I do because I like you Essek. I think it should be plain by now that I like you a great deal and I hope that you will come along with me, to see where this leads us.” 

Despite himself, Essek turns his hand over under Caleb’s and tentatively laces their fingers together. He’s seen him do similar things with the Nein and when Caleb doesn’t flinch he relaxes a bit. “I will trust you in this. I am also quite fond of you. Thank-you, for your words. For your trust. One day I hope to feel worthy of such a gift.” 

Caleb squeezes his hand and leads him back to the tent where they sit side by side wordlessly before falling asleep, still holding hands.

#critfic #essek thelyss #caleb widogast #shadowgast #critical role #cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #Gaudius' power is so insidious and i LOVE #hope this isn't too ooc #i had a hurt/comfort request and I also didn't want to write character death rn #but wow am i emotional about this ep jeeeeeze #omniwrites

[randoimago]

Good to know you’re still doing CR! How about Yasha x Reader, with a reader who uses twin staffs as weapons and mobility aids? If that’s too hyper specific ignore me but I’m looking for that sweet sweet disability rep. :)

Reader Using Staffs as Mobility Aids

FANDOM: Critical Role

Character(s): Yasha Nydoorin

Type of Request: Headcanons

Warning(s): Spoilers to Campaign 2

Word Count: 220

Note(s): No that’s perfectly fine! We love representation in this household. We also love the goth lesbian in this household. Going to tag this as spoilers just in case!!

Yasha

When she first sees you using your staffs to help you walk, she’ll walk closer to you in case you get tired and need to lean on her.

She would ask you if you’d just like her to carry you. Yasha would want to offer her help should you need/want it. She knows you’re strong on your own but just in case, she’ll be there.

Seeing you in battle with your staffs is an entirely different thing. Yasha is amazed how you just look like a spinning whirlwind. It’s like watching a tornado and she’ll gladly lend you her lightning.

Yasha knows you can stand up for yourself and defend yourself but that doesn’t stop her from standing behind you and menacingly look at anyone that gives you looks due to your walking.

She does mention one time about getting you one of those combat wheelchairs and strapping your staffs onto it so you can just ride into battle. It gets a laugh out of you and Yasha enjoys the sound but she still makes plans about it in case you do say yes.

Will gladly point to you and say, “That’s my partner. They have murdered so many people and their bodies have yet to be found. They murdered their whole family and will throw you under a bridge.”

#critical role x reader #mighty nein #mighty nein x reader #critical role imagine #mighty nein imagines #yasha nydoorin #yasha nydoorin x reader #yasha x reader #critical role spoilers #twin staff anon

[poesparakeet-fics]

Second part done! Read on AO3 or here! SFW!

Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Caduceus Clay & The Mighty Nein, Caduceus Clay & Jester Lavorre, Caduceus Clay & Mollymauk Tealeaf, Caduceus Clay & Yasha, Caduceus Clay & Caleb Widogast, Caduceus Clay & Beauregard Lionett Characters: Caduceus Clay, Jester Lavorre, Mollymauk Tealeaf, Yasha (Critical Role), Nott | Veth Brenatto, Caleb Widogast, Beauregard Lionett Additional Tags: Tickling, Revenge, Shrinking, wild magic mishaps, safeword, Teasing Summary:

Caduceus has made a habit of tickling some of his companions, be it as a cheer-up, a settle-down or a playful punishment. When a mishap with some wild magic makes his smaller than his friends, a few decide to get a little revenge.

CHAPTER 2 TEXT

They’d all agreed to wait a few days before going anywhere weird or dangerous, at least until Caduceus was back to normal. Sure, he didn’t fight using his size much, but the dangerously thin firbolg looked so breakable without his formidable height that they agreed to wait it out. After all, it was only a few days.

So naturally, trouble had found them.

They were lucky, really. Nobody was hurt badly, just a few scrapes and bruises. The spellcasters were burnt out, though.

“OK…” Jester said as they breathed a sigh of relief after entering the tower’s front door. “I got one healing word in me. Caduceus, want me to take care of that cut on your head?”

Caduceus reached up to touch it. It was barely a scrape. “Nah, I’m good. Maybe take down some of the bruising on Yasha’s arm?”

Jester did so, and Caduceus started to float upward toward his room. Thanks to the floating he didn’t even notice he was being followed until two sets of feet set down behind him, two bodies suddenly moving to walk with him pressed between them.

He looked up. It wasn’t Beau and Yasha, as he would have expected, Yasha being the only one to share the floor with him. It was Beau and Caleb, both smirking in ways that made his stomach squirm.

“Hey Caleb, did you hear what went on down there?”

“Ja, I think I did, Beauregard.”

“I think Caduceus just dodged a healing spell.”

Panic ripped a gasp out of Caduceus chest. “I did NOT!”

He started to try and break away from them, but Beau caught him around his middle and hugged him tight from behind. She lifted him off the ground easily, his feet kicking the air while Caleb stared him down.

“Jester offered you healing and you refused, Herr Clay. These are your rules. We have a zero tolerance policy, you see.”

Caduceus squirmed in Beau’s grasp.  “It’s not the same –”

“Um, actually…” Beau cut him off, starting to walk them toward his room, “I’d like to refer you back to a previous instance of you counting Caleb’s ribs two months ago, where you involved Mollymauk for the first time. I believe it was the seventh instance of this punishment being meted out. In that instance, there were limited healing spells left and Caleb’s injury was superficial, but you cited the zero tolerance policy.”

“Ungh!” Caduceus grunted, trying to tug himself free of two arms as strong as ship cable, “You two are–”

“–Going to find out how many ribs a firbolg has?” Caleb teased over a very frightening little smirk that broke into a grin when his eyes flicked over Caduceus’ shoulder. “Veth the brave! I could use your assistance!”

When Beau turned to look he caught sight of Veth floating at the centre of the tower, her arms crossed and an amused look on her face. Her eyes met Caduceus’ gaze for a second.

“Nah. You guys have fun.”

Beau jostled Caduceus as she addressed Caleb. “Don’t worry you skinny shit, I’ll hold him down for you so you can get a little payback.”

“Noo…” Caduceus whimpered, the futility of the situation growing ever clearer. Caleb and Beau ignored him, talking to each other over his head instead as they entered his bedroom.

“Hey, has he ever done that thing where he tickles you until you say nice things about yourself?”

“Ugh. Ja.”

“So what’s he gotta say?” Beau climbed onto the bed with Caduceus still in her arms, keeping his back to her front.

“Hmm. We could make him say something mean, but that does not quite fit….”  

“Nah.” Beau started to wrestle with Caduceus arms, fighting to get them up over his head. “How about just ‘I deserve this’ over and over until we’re satisfied?”

Caduceus fought her, whimpering, but her hands were as quick as sparrows and it was barely a moment before she had his wrists gripped tight. He tried to twist and get his feet under him on the bed, but Caleb grabbed his ankles and tripped his feet out as he perched on the side.

“Ja, that works for me.” Caleb shoved Caduceus’ shirt up, tucking it behind his head to keep it out of the way.

“No no no!” Caduceus wheezed as he saw his wizard friend and frequent victim smiling like a cat who caught the canary and floating his hands in a move that was clearly meant to rile him. It worked.

“Ah, you can take it, I’m sure.” the wizard answered, meeting his eyes with a wicked glitter in his gaze, “I mean, you could safeword, but I don’t think you will. Not when you know you deserve this.”

Caduceus choked a little at the reference to his very first time counting Caleb’s ribs, a whine building in the back of his throat as the man’s hands drifted closer. Oh, he was in for it . It might be easier just to cast gentle repose on himself now— Jester wouldn’t be able to bring him back until the morning.

“Alright, so we start with number one, ja?”

Caleb’s ink-stained fingertips found Caduceus’ lowest rib, flatter and broader than a human’s. The firbolg bit his lip and whimpered as first they only grazed the downy hair there before starting to pinch along the length.

“Eeheek!” Caduceus squeaked, his heels drumming on the soft bedspread as giggles poured out..

“There, just like the first time.” Caleb teased over a tight-lipped smile. “Although, actually…” Caleb’s fingers started to attack him on one side, and then the other, switching back and forth to make him writhe. “That first time, you did it one side at a time, didn’t you? So, do you deserve this, Herr Clay?”

“Noho! I- I caught you ahaha– with aha broken rib thahahat first time!”

“He what ?!” Came a growl from over Caduceus’ shoulder.

“Ah– nothing. Moving on. Two!” Caleb’s hands jumped up one rib, drawing a satisfying squeal from their captive. “Now, the second time was still just you, but a little more like… this.”

Caleb ducked down to nuzzle his nose and cheek across Caduceus’ lower rib cage. The gentle pressure and rough hair along his cheek nearly made Caduceus jump out of his skin. His back arched, his body driven back into Beau’s embrace for lack of a better place to go.

“Aha— AHAha— Ohoho, OHo OK! I deserve it! I deserve it!”

Caleb stopped nuzzling but put his fingers back to work immediately. “Wunderbar! Three.”

“Nohoho! I deserve it! Aahaa! Please!”

Caleb ignored him. “The third time… that was Veth and her feather, wasn’t it?”

Caleb pulled away to dig around his coat, and Caduceus got a precious moment to breath. He slumped against Beau and tried his best to unscramble himself.

“Got it!” Said Caleb.

Caduceus’ eyes shot open to see the wizard twirling a quill in his hand.

“Eep! Wait! I deserve it, I deserve it, I deserve it! ”

Caleb flicked the soft fronds of the feather across one rib, then another. “It’s good that you can admit that now. So here is three, and there is four… I’m sure you have more ribs than I have vengeance, right, Herr Clay?”

Cad was too breathless to answer, slumped against Beau in a frenzy of chirping giggles that pitched upward when Caleb jumped another rib. The feather was surprisingly maddening after the rough scrape of stubble.

“Five!” Caleb cheered, “so the next time would have been Yasha…”

“NO! Nononono! Pleeheeheehease!” Caduceus didn’t bother telling them he deserved it this time, that clearly wasn’t getting him anywhere.

Caleb chuckled, exchanging a devilish wink with Beauregard over Cad’s shoulder before leaning in to nip at the side of Caduceus’ ribcage.

His reaction was more scream than laughter. Oh, the teeth were bad . The biting had all the same staticy mix of sensations that the nuzzles did with the added maddening little scrape of teeth. His breathing was hitched, his legs were kicking desperately against the bedspread. By the time Caleb let up there were tears in his eyes.

Caleb let him catch his breath and watched him with a little softness.

“While we are not nearly even for what you have put me through, I do feel a little bad. You’re nearly done, eh? How about this: We’ll skip to Mollymauk–”

“NO!” Caduceus yelped, still breathless.

“Hey, hey, calm down. I only want one. You made me use my safeword over a black eye, Herr Clay. You deserve much more, but if I get one, we may call it even.”

Caduceus’ whole body was rigid, and he groaned from behind clenched teeth. “Even? Blank slate?”

Caleb chuckled at the answer. “Ja. Blank slate. Until you decide to torture me again.”

“Well that’s up to you, man.” Caduceus growled, shutting his eyes tight and clenching his teeth. “OK. Do it.”

“Ja?” Caleb asked with a renewed smile.

“Yes!”

“You’re ready?”

“Cale–”

Pbbbbbt!

That sound again, this time mostly drowned out by a bleating shriek as Caduceus jerked like he was hit by lightning. The single raspberry felt like it went on forever, a rare credit to Caleb’s lung capacity.

When Caleb pulled back he was chuckling, partly out of delight for his vengeance and partly out of mirth at Caduceus’ reaction, now starting to fade into a collection of leftover giggles, sniffles and hiccups. Beau let go of his arms and hugged him to let him lean against her and catch his breath.

“The next *hic* time you beg for *hic* mercy…”

“You’ll take it very easy on me. We are even, remember? No vengeance allowed.”

Shit . Caduceus winced. He hadn’t processed what he was agreeing to, something the wizard had undoubtedly been hoping for.

“You know, I think this erases your escalations, too.” Beau added from over his shoulder. “Blank slate, right?”

Caleb brightened considerably. “Ja! A blank slate. Starting from the beginning.”

Caduceus growled, crossing his arms and trying to look annoyed while still hiccuping. Beau crawled out from behind him, and they both rose to their feet. Caleb planted a kiss on top of his head.

“Goodnight, Herr Clay.”

…..

He was big again before long. It happened when he was sleeping, and the next morning he’d made a pot of tea by the time he realized he no longer needed two hands to pour. The epiphany made him spring up straight, a smile on his face. He felt like himself again.

It was Veth who trundled into the kitchen first.

“Good morning!” Caduceus greeted her.

“Oh! I see you’re back. Are you happy to be big again?”

“Well, it’s a little more.. Me.”

“Yes, I think it is,” her eyes glittered at him, “now you’ll be safe from the others.”

“Heh.” Caduceus nodded, “I think everyone who wanted revenge got it by now. But I am glad to be a little harder to pin down. Thank you for not helping them.”

He turned toward the sink with his mug, and Veth was suddenly hanging off his back with her feet braced on his belt.

“We both know I don’t need you to be small to get you, do I Mr. Clay?” She whispered in his ear.

Caduceus barely got one large hand over his own mouth before one of Veth’s small ones was plunged down the back of his shirt collar. Her arm disappeared there, fingers scrabbling at the skin between his shoulder blades. He squawked into his hand, legs collapsing and spine twisting. He ended up on his knees, trying desperately to shake her off as she moved with him like a rucksack, as slippery as an itch he couldn’t reach to scratch.

“Ok! Ahaa! Ok! Veth, please!” He wheezed around his hand.

She did stop, hopping off his back with a little smirk. “Don’t worry, I’m gonna keep that secret and hold over you for a while yet.”

“Wonderful.” Caduceus groaned from his position curled up in a ball on the floor.

“Just don’t get cocky and I’ll never have a reason to TAKE YOU DOWN!”

“Alright, alright.” He sighed as he stood up. “Deal. Mercy. And don’t worry, Caleb already negotiated a pretty generous immunity offer for himself.”

Veth snorted. “Please. Do that as much as you want. Just don’t. Get. Cocky.”

“Ok, Veth.”

#critickle role #caduceus clay #tickle fic #tk fic #caleb widogast #beauregard lionett #veth bernatto #tickling #ticklish #rib tickling

[violet-t-9]

Check in on my (not very realistic) wish list for episode 141

 1. Blooming Grove Clay family reunion! Hugs and tears! Home-cooked meal and tea! Much needed relaxation and downtime after saving the world.

Ay that was a nice meal and a good night’s sleep.

2. Widogast’s Nascent Nein (9!) Sided Tower because Caleb still has a spell slot for that! So many cats and books. Also, rooms for Essek and Molly (9!). Bonus: seeing more rooms on the 8th floor of the tower?

Oof well thanks Trent now we don’t get to see the tower again, ever. I’m 100% sure that Essek will see his room during the Aeorian study fun times and Luc and Yeza will see their rooms in magical summer camp with professor Widogast though, so I’m happy.

3. Check in and visiting Allura to return her staff and Kima’s Holy Avenger (”hey we saved the world killed Lucien stopped the city Allura are you proud of us? You are? Tell us who is on the Tal’Dorei council.”)

They mentioned it, but they didn’t play it out, unfortunately. Alas, the members of the Tal’Dorei council shall forever remain a mystery.

4. Check in and visiting Yussa and Wensforth to apologize for their last visit to the Tidepeak Tower and using his emergency exit plan, but Yussa being too grateful to be saved from a screaming city hivemind to care.

Yep, thank you Caleb for remembering Yussa lol. Should have known that he would want to study the Happy Fun Ball... Wizards sharing knowledge, how nice! Also, Veth’s goodbye to Wensforth was very sweet.

5. Molly getting more and more of his memory back and slowly becoming his old flamboyant self.

I... wow I mean I guess Kingsley? This technically happened? He is going to become someone new, which is always exciting! He got a lot of... interesting memories back too. He is also interested in learning about Molly’s memory too, even though he is somebody else (and just as flamboyant).

6. Caleb says goodbye to Frumpkin and there is either a sweet farewell or Frumpkin just goes “nah fam I choose my wizard you can’t get rid of me”.

Aw Frumpkin didn’t feel ready to leave at first... :( The actual farewell was indeed short and sweet, I loved it. 

7. Beau and Yasha moments, conversations, fun times, shameless PDA, or potentially fade to black because they deserve it.

Camping outside at night, aw. Their moment after the Zeenoth trial was very touching as well! “Yes, my love?” and “my Expositor” lol how romantic they are. They are planning to settle down and explore Yasha’s past together! Their honeymoon little trip! Also, “I will have you and then some” was indeed hot.

8. Jester and Fjord being domestic, adorable and sharing kisses/conversations or potentially fade to black because they deserve it.

The sleep snuggle was soo cute and Jester’s love admission was adorable! Also the rain and double confession wow Fjord what a romantic man. Their conversation in Nicodranas was sooo cute guys. They planned boat trips!

9. Caleb and Essek have a long one-on-one conversation about their “it’s complicated” relationship and have some more physical contact (still reeling from the forehead touch last episode).

Caleb attempting to include Essek in the globe of invulnerability and Essek dragging Caleb away from melee combat aw. The kiss on the cheek and the empathetic hug... I will take the time travel conversation as well. 

10. Veth, Yeza and Luc’s joyful/tearful family reunion and happy fun times in which Veth and Yeza may or may not celebrate in private.

Aw that was a nice reunion, so very cute. Veth gets to fully return home to her family after saying goodbye! I’m going to assume that she celebrates her return with Yeza in private. 

11. Cad’s moments with his family and also with Molly (because it’s fun to watch them on screen together and conversing let’s be real).

Caduceus gets to be with his family now, enjoying life at the blooming grove! He deserves the relaxation!

12. Jester’s reunion with her mother with big hugs and finding out that parent trap TM has succeeded thanks to her genius plans. Also, the gentleman being a super awkward but loving dad.

Yes I knew it would work! The gentleman is a nervous drinker confirmed lol. The mother-daughter talk was very nice and a great reminder!

13. The Mighty Nein plans for the future: getting rid of Cloven Crystal, Fjord visiting Vandran (with Jester probably, who discusses Tusk Love with him) and maybe Sabian? Yasha’s plan to bring flower to Zuala (trip with Beau?). Beau’s plans regarding Zeenoth’s trial (has that happend yet? Does she want to go?) and Caleb’s plans for the assembly (or even further ahead, magical school? Aeorian research with Kryn Colleague? How pissed is Ludinus Da’leth?)

Well, the empire siblings sure started a task force against the assembly huh. Also yeah Caleb you tell him, F**k your vacancy Martinet Ludinus Da’leth! Professor Caleb will teach Luc. Astrid would be more interested in the position anyways. Fjord got to visit Vandran with Jester and got him to join their sailing adventures! Jester also talks about Tusk Love with him wow. Beau testified against Zeenoth with Yasha by her side! Yasha gave flowers to Zuala on a trip with Beau! Caleb and Essek got to do their Aeorian research study! Fjord’s cloven crystal adventure was also addressed! I’m so good at predictions you guys I KID YOU NOT I predicted everything.

14. Getting an update about Astrid and Eadwulf to find out that they are in fact doing fine because Trent is in deep trouble and under heavy investigation by the Augen Trust and Cobalt Soul (bonus: Trent is already starting to get what he deserves. Or even better, Trent has died from liver failure in jail. Like his jaundice really kept getting worse so one can hope I guess?)

F**k you Trent, you just had to show up and ruin everything didn’t you. Well, Astrid and Eadwulf are fne now, and Trent IS in deep trouble and rotting in jail. Still hoping that he will die from liver failure after like, a few years.

15. Fjord officially “meeting the parents” and Gentleman/Marion giving Fjord the shovel talk because that didn’t happen last time.

Aw he didn’t go with! But the gentleman did talk about Fjord anyways lol and gave her some sound advice.

16. Wedding mentions/discussions? Proposals? Anyone? No?

Well Jester proposed to marry... her parents? Lol did not see that one coming. Veth and Yeza renewing vows yes! It was a nice suggestion. 

17. Artagan/sprinkle joins in the celebration because why not (bonus: Sprinkle gets to be free! Or whatever an undead weasel could be lmao)

Artagan and Jester’s conversation was very nice development for them. Sprinkle gets to stay forever, unfortunately for Sprinkle lol.

18. Obligatory wish for Essek’s fancy dunamancy or magical items (like I know we will never see dark star probably but I live for spell casting flavours).

Essek’s hold person on Trent was clutch, “stay down”, what a king. The tether essence, lightning bolt and gravity sinkhole were all wonderful. Still sad about the dark star never being seen though.

19. Obligatory wish for the polymorph spell (look, I just love it okay).

Hey, Jester threatened Astrid with it! Polymorph mention wins! Fjord was sad about the potential choice of turning her into a turtle but it would have been funny.

20. Obligatory wish for Caleb to use more fire/customized/dunamantic spells creatively or with nice flair (what’s sexier than wizards NOTHING).

What’s sexier than counterspells and dispel magic NOTHING. Also hey, the manacles of stasis worked!

21. Discussion about Essek’s future because oh boy can he even go back to the Dynasty? Have they found him out yet? If they did, how mad is the Bright Queen? Are Volstruckers too busy to chase him down? We need to know!

Oh man I mean Essek found a way to live freely at least! With a lot of illusions and identities, of course. He also got to stay in contact with the M9! I think he may show up in campaign 3!

22. Group hug! Group feast! Group cheer! I dunno, just do group stuff. They are the Mighty Nein, they are the Mighty Nine, they saved the world!

A lot of group hugs and feasts! I especially loved the hug when they said goodbye to Essek. 

23. Visiting/checking in with other NPCs or allies potentially! Like Kiri, Calianna, Twiggy, Keg, Shakasta, Bryce, Dagen oh also the Hag (I’m kidding).

They checked in with Orly! Not these allies but you know, Orly is awesome. 

24. Obligatory wish for everyone (the Nein, their friends/families) to get a happy ending that gives me a feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment, and that the episode/campaign ends with a poetically beautiful scene!

Yes, it was a very poetic and very beautiful story indeed

I love the Mighty Nein/Nine, I love the cast. I’m so grateful for their story in my life. Words are not enough to describe my thankfulness for being able to go on this journey with them.

Now excuse me I just need to go sob in a corner.

My score: 19/24

Seriously though check out #13 I’m proud of that one

Other Highlights: 

Caleb hit 100 HP OMG I too am proud of him.

Well I didn’t expect the boss fight but I’m glad we are getting one? 

Caleb’s produce flame was used by Veth on Fluffernutter, nice!

The Veth + Beau putting collar combo was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen, also there is something poetic about Caleb relying entirely on his friends and Astrid to carry out the collar tactic on Trent.

The forced empathy commands by Cad lmao wow angry Cad is scary, too bad Trent didn’t have any.

Veth’s silent image... Caleb disintegrating and burning everything in the T-dock... Caleb’s book for his parents... Professor Widogast... Excuse me I’m going to cry now.

#cr spoilers #c2e141 #critical role #critical role spoilers #cr liveblog #manifest list #the mighty nein

[madefate]

changes to yasha’s backstory. 

the dolorav clan was one of many in xorhas constantly competing for resources and land, and as such over generations upon generations cemented themselves as those who valued strength, courage, and prowess in battle for the sake of preserving the clan. over time, the clan gained reputation as one of the largest and fiercest, allowing them and their members the best chance of survival. 

yasha, like other children, was raised to live for the survival and continuation of the clan and ignore personal risk to herself for the sake of placing others’ safety first, a generations-long held belief in the dolorav. she struggled, believing she was the only one who struggled, with her fear and compassion making her feel weak, and wished desperately to harden herself into a warrior worthy of her clan and, eventually, her name of orphan maker. 

eventually she undergoes the marking and graduates from trainee child to a fighter on the front lines. she was skilled with a blade and physically strong, but the insecurity and struggle never left her. over the years, after a period war began anew for the clan, she started to withdraw even from her wife, zuala, losing herself to the fear that she would be too weak to protect her family. they never lacked love, but tension started to grow unchecked and undiscussed the longer the fighting wore on. 

things grew dire when, for the first time in living memory, dolorav was in danger of losing its title as the strongest clan, and their lands, resources, and people to boot as another grew in power. after a particularly brutal mission to fight and maintain territory where yasha froze, costing them a tactical advantage and lives, she broke. she fought with zuala that night, and once they had parted to sleep alone, she prayed alone for the strength to continue. 

please, she prayed to anyone hear, make me stronger. give me courage. make me a warrior. 

and the storm rolled in. 

at dawn the alarms went off as a force from the other clan tried to capitalize on surprising them to carve through. yasha woke without fear. in fact, yasha woke as if she were still in a dream, unfeeling and unbothered as she took her sword in hand and breezed through the door of her tent. 

she does not remember much of that fight -- most of the faces were cut down too quickly for her to see them and honor them in memory, and she did not feel a single blow that landed on her and tried to cleave her flesh. she fought as if possessed, silent and expressionless, never tiring. as the storm raged, so did she. 

against the combined might of the dolorav and yasha, the enemy siege didn’t stand a chance. they began to retreat, or die trying to continue the fight, until there was no one left for the justice and fury of her blade. but it wasn’t enough -- it’s not enough, it’s not enough, it’s not enough -- 

the only face she remembers clearly is zuala’s. zuala’s, soaked with rain, zuala’s desperation as she tried to yell above the crashing storm. the words, finally, yasha, please, i’m here. 

not her. her blade wanted blood. she wanted blood. zuala threw her arms around yasha’s shoulders and held her and yasha, hands trembling with the effort to stop herself, placed the sharp edge of the blade against her back. 

zuala’s voice in her ear: if you’re going to kill me, kill me. just come back to yourself when you’re done. 

no, she said, biting through her lower lip, straining against the rage in her blood. i won’t. 

then don’t. 

the last thing yasha remembers is the brilliant flare of lightning crashing to earth and waking in a forest, and a voice guiding her that rumbled with thunder. 

i’m lost, she told him. 

then let me guide you. 

so, she does. 

#( yasha hc. ) #gently cleaning up the xenophobia & homophobia don't mind me #it's obviously not perfect but i'm trying yknow? #i just - as a barbarian main the possibilities are so much cooler to play with zealotry & rage ?? #being puppeted by greater forces ??

[cadaceus]

C2E137

Hello everyone and welcome to my liveblogs for Campaign 2, Episode 137 of Critical Role, in which Matthew Mercer simultaneously amazes and disturbs me with his levels of description and endless creativity. Even though this was a shorter episode (funny how we can call three hour episodes “short!”) we got so much information about this place and I loved seeing them explore this city of Cognouza. Full liveblogs down below, rich with spoilers, so beware!

- Some of those photos of Sam were Big Moods, not gonna lie

- Awwe, Jester thinking that she wishes to move forward to hold Fjord’s hand! They really are so cute <3 (Also: SHEEPLEB IS SO CUTE)

- Ohhh okay, so Artagan just posesses Sprinkle sometimes but not all of the time?

- Matt’s “many creepy voices at the same time” voiceover is still way too good

- PEOPLE ON THE STREETS?? WHOMST?? Are they real or are they illusions/recollections of the past somehow?

- “if it’s a real problem, just smack it” CAD lmao he truly has been learning from them

- “I didn’t take [Prayer of Healing] because let’s be honest...” LMAO Jester is living the battle Cleric life as she should!

- oh my god the people are real and responded to what Veth asked,,,, this is giving me so many creepy sensations but also it’s such a cool visual

- THAT PERSON SCREAMING MADE ME JUMP DUFYSGDJKLJ;

- The city having teeth and flesh.... I hate it here :) We are truly going full horror movie

- Timorei... One of the Somnovum... wants Caleb to find Elatis and Luctus in the Aether Crux to achieve immortality? End oblivion? (Like the Chained Oblivion or??)

- THE PERSON LIQUIFYING AND BECOMING COBBLESTONE, THEY ARE ALL PART OF THE CITY AND MAKE UP THE CITY WHAT IS HAPPENING MATTHEW MERCER

- Ira, I think you may be projecting here with the whole “anger in your hearts” thing

- Caleb throwing whoever this Gaudius fellow is under the bus LMAO

- oh i was NOT expecting initative OH MY GODDDD SMITE THESE THINGS

- God how is Matt like. The most talented person? His voices, his descriptions of the city and horror, the beauty of this map.... idk how my heart is so full of fondness for someone I’ve never even met but I love him

- Awww, Beauyasha on the same initiative! Girlfriends on the same wavelength I love them so much  🥰

- Oh, forbidden Essek lore! His Dexterity is 16... so maybe his order goes INT - CHA - DEX - WIS - CON - STR ?

- Yesss Veth and her laughing magic! But also.... the fleshy city (?) laughing is more horror movie material

- “A sigh of relief amongst the screams” oh now I’m sorry for them :( maybe being smited actually frees them from torture?

- Essek’s black lightning followed by Widogast’s Web of Fire from Caleb.... what’s sexier than wizards everyone?

- MY BEAUYASHA HEART IS BREAKING DON’T ATTACK HER YOU LOVE HER SHE IS YOUR FAVORITE PERSON

- But it also parallels so well with when Yasha was possessed by Obann and attacked Beau.... woof  😭

- “Super into tentacles” YASHA  💀

- The Natural 19 Fire Bolt from Essek followed immediately by a Natural 20 Fire Bolt from Caleb..... THAT’S RIGHT BABEY

- How do you want to this!!!! Phew!

- “Someone guard our exchange student wizard” LOL me as Caleb though

- TONGUE MATERIAL?? UGH GROSS

- “Final Arc” I hope the heck not Mr Mercer /j

- “Help help help help help help help help help” I mean mood but also  😭

- Oooh so Essek has a 21 Intelligence maybe? 22? 

- Is that Cree coming toward them? IF SO: BIG YIKES

- Wait, that was such a short episode, whoa! That must be the shortest CR Episode so far? Or close to it? I was really eager to keep watching, but this just means I have extra to look forward to next week! And until then, I love y’all and is it Thursday yet! <3

#critical role #cr spoilers #c2e137 #cw eyes #tw eyes #not sure how to tag the gif sorry! but i thought it was fitting for the horror of this week's episode... #queue

[megabees]

I am still thinking about that Yasha scene, and how it is such a peak for her arc. We all said that the harp scene in Vo was a turning point, and it was, but I think this is the true moment we see her forgive herself, pledge herself to the Mighty Nein and focus on growth. 

When we meet Yasha, we get very little of her backstory. We learn that she follows the Stormlord in Episode 9, we learn that she’s from Xhorhas in Episode 14, we learn she has wings in Episode 19. There are other things we learn, mostly about her book and Molly, but those are the main backstory elements.  Then her first dream with the Stormlord. In Episode 20, Yasha dreams of a wasteland of worms, finding herself dizzy, confused and desparate. In this, she is saved by the Stormlord, who says “ You walk the right path. Be strong. Don't forget who you were, and decide who you will become.” 

She’s walking the right path. She’s letting these people in. Then she is kidnapped and Molly dies. She can’t let them close, she flees. But she is brought back to these people again, and they take her on a ship. She sees islands in a vision that she needs to go to.  Ship life. Fjord battles with his demons, everyone but her fights a dragon in the Happy Fun Ball, the waves crest. Second vision, on the deck of the ship. This time she sees Zuala, happy and then skeletal.  “Loss. Loss is excruciating. Loss is paralyzing. Loss is inevitable. Loss can bring sorrow, bring hate, bring cruelty and darkness.“  Burning huts, then our first glimpse of Obann, telling her her anger is beautiful. “Loss can instead teach you what is important. It offers perspective. It offers focus, might, the courage to protect what has not yet been lost. To be alone, to push others away can prevent loss, but it also prevents growth, strength, purpose. How much, how many will you lose until you find your strength?” Back to the storm. “Show me. Show me what is important, what is worth protecting. This storm was birthed only for you.”

We learn about Zuala, following this vision. “I fell in love with someone else that was not chosen for me, and we got married privately. They found out and the punishment for that is death, and they killed her and I ran away, so I... I am a coward, I guess. I don't know if my heart could ever be healed, but I'm okay with that. I feel like if it were put back together then that means Zuala would be gone. I know one day I want to go back there. I don't know where she was buried, but I have so many flowers to bring to her.” How can Yasha forgive herself when she still thinks herself a coward? She feels she is cursed to lose those who loves. 

The party goes to Xhorhas. They give the beacon up. Nott, Yeza, Veth, Bren, Luc. Third vision, in the giant stronghold. It’s Obann. Yasha is standing on a pile of bodies. They’re overturned and it becomes Molly, Jester, Caleb, all of her loved ones. Yasha is terrified. What has she done? How can she let these people in if they are bound to die? She forces a fourth vision. 

Shackled, bound, in a storm. “You have done terrible things and you are capable of doing terrible things. Your strength is not wholly your own. You are still shackled, child. Fight against them. Don’t let the iron be your strength.” She thinks of her friends, she thinks of the Mighty Nein. She is still shackled.  

We meet Obann, for real this time. Yasha remembers. Is she truly herself? She goes with him. She has no control. The Mighty Nein are just another obstacle. Her memories are faint, she is death and destruction only.  The Mighty Nein work like hell to get Yasha back. Fjord gets the Star Razor. Caduceus meets the Dusts. They kill the permaheart in the Happy Fun Ball. For Yasha, her time is spent with Obann, The Inevitable End, The Laughing Hand. They storm the Cobalt Soul. Final confrontation, in the Cathedral. Yasha is returned to herself, Obann and the Laughing Hand are killed.  Apologies. Anger. Self-Flagellation. She doesn’t want to be alone but she’s hurt these people. Fifth vision. No words, just a cliff side to climb. At the peak, a sunrise and a welcoming rain. Her wrists, unshackled. A sense of pride from the Stormlord. Growth. Forgiveness. Healing.  She begins to let these people in again. Talks with Beau, with Caleb, with Caduceus and Jester. She watches Beau almost give herself up to the hag, we head onto the water for Travelercon. Sixth vision. Again, we find ourselves at a cliffs edge, this time before a giant canyon. She leaps, she begins to fall. Calls out to the Stormlord for help (he blasts her with lightning as her help but okay). Bamfs Out the Wings, and Yasha soars. “You are worthy, both of my guidance and of your own acceptance. This path before you is long and I won’t let you stray.”

We think this is her turning point, but it is not. On Rumplecusp, we watch relationships begin to be formed more. Jester is falling apart, Caduceus is having a Very Bad Day, but Yasha is kinda thriving. She plays a beautiful harp song, carries Beau again, makes a decent amount of jokes. The viewer can see that she’s more comfortable with herself. She is healing, she is forgiving herself. Her wings, while still skeletal, begin to feather.  Most recent vision. A feather, on a pool. A storm brewing, illuminating everything around her. Do not run from yourself. Overcome what falters, and rise stronger. She grabs the feather, lets the lightning hit her, and there is a clear path above. But below, there is Zuala. She could join her, still. She could stay with her love. So many she’s lost, all below the surface, easily reached. Can she let go of her past, remembering it for the good but not letting it control her? 

I have to go. 

And Yasha leaps. With that, she hears Zuala’s final words. “I’m proud of you. Do not let me be your shackle.” 

She can see from above the continents, she is no longer tethered. Yasha forgives herself, and she is free. 

#yall: shut up about yasha shut up #me: NEVER #god what an arc #i love her #yasha nydoorin #yasha #critical role #critical role spoilers #cr spoilers #cr meta #also then she has a terrible boss fight with vokodo but who cares #anyway come to me for all your yasha needs #people make meta about the emo boys but never about the emo women #also man #ashley johnson #i would die for you

[thequeenofmyownscreen]

Niiiiine things I noted about CR2E46 “A Storm of Memories” (no Talks Machina) :

I love how Matthew makes the characters feel the passage of time and the consequences of their actions. This is just only the most recent example : after 7 days litterally out the world, the small murmur of an attack underground in the Empire is sure a return to the reality that for now, they really went around the war, but that war may soon get them.

The quiet sadness and fear of Yasha describing the fact that the Mighty Nein maybe abandonned her, when they suddenly disappeared inside the Happy Fun Ball.

How to say hello to bees, by Jester : "Hello, beeeeeeeees !"

Huh. Eiselcross. That rings a bell. Just a little one. I don't remember, I must have seen a spoiler about it. For now, it's just a fact that Caleb found in a book, but I'm pretty sure that word will become important. So yeah normally I don't like being spoiled, except !! when it's shit like this that makes you go 'Huh.'

My brain at the second half : "Yasha ! Backstory ! YASHA !! BACKSTORY !!"

The lightning and sound effects were great. And I say this as a watcher of campaign 3 where they know have litterally a sound system and light effects made by entertainment professionals. But even in campaign 2 in episodes like this you can see the ambition of Matt's dream.

"I have so many flowers to bring to her." Oh, my heart. What a line. What a scene. What a backstory. Somehow the saddest of them all ?????

Nott, to Fjord, after Jester convinced her to go with them underwater because she feels safer with Nott at her side in battle : "Fjord, you have a thing or two to learn from Jester about talking to people and engaging them on a personal level ! She has the expert touch. She gets people, she sees into their hearts and souls ! You... are just a bastard man."

That cute moment when Laura and Taliesin started to murmur-sing "You can call me Al" (this song is so good)

#my thoughts #critical role #cr campaign 2 #CR2E46

[sparkzstar]

At Arm's Length

When Caleb first met him he was overwhelming, too much, too bright and often too close.

The longer they travelled together the more he felt he needed to make the choice consciously to keep this purple tiefling at arms lenght. And the longer and the more he did, the more he felt like the Tiefling just grinned at him and grabbed him by the arm he used to keep distance with to him.

Tiresome. Too much. Too uncomfortable and too warm.

He didn't.  . . He didn't think he could bear it.

He wanted it and by the dawnfather and the moonweaver too he wished he could let himself at times but there was so much on his mind and he didn't deserve or need this right now.

Too much. Too complicated. Too good and too binding.

At times he was too exhausted to put up all those walls and keep the full distance and this little devil of a man. . . He knew and he could tell. And he would use it to worm his way right where he wanted to be without regards to how Caleb tried to let him not to.

A tiny kiss on the head, a small hug, a pin to the wall and increasing invasion of privat space.

Too gentle, too caring, too foward and too much needed at times.

When it came time and they fought to find and free their friends and Mollymauk Tealeaf himself was the sacrificial lamb, only then it was that Caleb realized just how much there was a space empty now. Emptied out and hollow made by someone worming gradually their way further and further in.

Too cold. Too hollow. Too quiet.

And all he could do, all he could think and say were the many regrets he suddenly knew he would carry around from now on. And his last words were for him to be bright and full of live again like he used to. And his touch was light as he tucked the hair out of Mollymauk's face but he could tell just how M T he really was at this moment and how terrifying that felt.

Too wet. Too silent. Too scared amd too regretful.

He Avenged him, anger burning hot and red just like Lorenzo's body before it turned to ash but he didn't tell anyone where that rage truely was founded. How it was truely his anger at his own inability and rage for having yet lost and destroyed another so sweet thing to him. However his anger subsided fast, maybe it was what he deserved.

Too messed up. Too undeserving. Too . . . Too late.

As they continued the others were shook by the news and shook by this turn of events. Yasha, dear dawnfather above forgive him for doing this to her, devastated and in great pain about this just like him but she. . . She deserved to feel angry. At him. At Lorenzo. At everyone. He failed them both.

Too selfish. Too distanced. Too. . . Alone now.

As their journey went on and on he learned, he healed and he grew closer and a bit happier with the rest of the nein around. He learned to love each of them dearly and appreciate their company at every step and he was grateful for that. And yet. Yet there was sonething, someone, missing and he was stuck on that. Has been and will be for a long time so he tought.

Too long. Too useless. Too much to be good for him anymore.

He was fine though wasn't he? He tried to be. And all of his friends were there to help and support him just like he would for them without question anymore.

And when he managed to land the decisive blow on Vokodo the fact that he saw a city so moving and magical yet predatory like cities shouldn't be and he heard the mention of nein eyes it struck him. Like lightning or an icicle right through the chest and he felt his heart beat heavy in his throat.

Too close. Too good. Too suddent and all too violent.

The fears that used to hold him back were gone about his old mentor, his mind not being able to afford being out of it now though not fully applied. It was his turn now to do something. They accept the job offer and they met for dinner with old friends and a mentors he wished to see dead rather sooner than later but what really ate away at his mind now was research.

Too little. Too unusable. Too suspiciously picked clean and too many questions.

He knew there was only one way to get answers.

And that was a grave soaked and muddy with a friend lying in it, bound in a tapestry and marked by a beautiful coat. And he would get his answers. He was going to hell for all his failings, mistakes and shortcommings anyway so he might aswell help shovel this grave and add to the list. It was M T.

Too deep. Too easy to remove and definitely too free of a missing friend and piece of his puzzle.

When Jester scryed on him and told the mighty nein of her findings Caleb could feel it again. A burden, a heart, beating so heavy in his chest he would have been worried if he wasn't too busy trying not to cry. He couldn't. He wasn't to believe it's true until he had proof. Tangible proof for himself.

Too wonderful. Too unbelievable. Too good to be true.

They hurried along their wintergear and left as soon as every piece was retrieved, even if with the help, rather unwanted but ultimately needed to be donefaster, of their new Contractor Vess DeRougna. And after that it sure did not take long for them to be on their way. On a ship. Shortly saving the world and secondly kicking a frozenover butt from someones ex. And then stayed the night in the Base before the big travel.

So close. So restless. So very anxious too.

It was that night that Jester scryed on him again. The very Tiefling they had buried and mourned so deeply before. And he was different. But oh so much the same. His glowing eyes like shiny fresh blood and that wicked grin plastered on. However his accent and the way he carried himself too. . . They were different weren't they? But it was him. Atleast it was this body. And a bloody mess. Which they were to clean before following him the next morning.

So far. So soon. So unprepared he felt.

And yet so determined.

It only took them serval more days and the making of a few new friends as well as a very none-compliant Emerald to finally reach the excavation side and Jester in the name of the whole group being welcomed . . .by Mol- Lucien. It was now most likely. Caleb needed to see him, feel him to believe any of that was real though.

So insecure about their place. So unsure about what was ahead and yet so positive they would soon see him again and learn more.

They were so close, each step heavier and more searching, hoping, as they wandered deeper and deeper into this. Many things and a few spiders and ice elementals were to be found and thankfully survived or avoided but whatever swept through this did so thoroughly. And it was after the last door opened that there was no doubt to any of them that who they were searching for was infact that very 'whatever' along with his group.

So bloody. So smug. So. . . Alive.

He smiled at all of them and apologized for the mess. He really was trying to clean up before they would arrive but Caleb didn't care. He saw him. And suddenly it was like he was on autopilot, his feet moved foward slowly. The last lost soul in the hands of this Tiefling was discarded, trow aside as he saw the wizard coming closer and he instinctively raised his arm at his side signaling his companions to wait. Not move. This was not their moment, that much he knew. It was his. So he too stepped foward, towards this wizard cautiously approaching.

He looked so lost yet found at the same time, So disbelieving and so very good compared to . . .to what. He felt like it has been a long time. Seeing any of them. There were dull bells ringing but they didn't make it through.

Caleb stopped and so did his counterpart infront of him. For a moment they shared a deep look neither of them too sure what to do with it before Caleb's lips parted "Mr. . . .Lucien. Is it fine to call you that?" He lifted his arm up, thanks to the arms lenght distanced not yet touching him. Lucien started to grin and lifted his arm too, putting it ontop of calebs outstretched one and grabbing him by the upper arm, then pulling Caleb along to him.

The nein were about to make a jump foward before realizing that it was not needed as now there was Lucien, holding a slightly dazed Caleb in a shoulder hug.

"Oh my! What a formal man! If you want to give me a title I am the Nonagon else Lucien is quite enough." For a moment Caleb did not know what to do. This was it. A tangible moment. A touch. A hug. And it was so different and yet there it was, the same old feeling triggered inside him. Beneath all those winter coats and clothes and all there was still this guy he loved. And he was overwhelmed. Without thinking for a moment he hugged Lucien back. It wasn't a greeting hug no, it was a tight I know you and I missed you hug clear to see for everyone. But truely Caleb just felt so happy. That which he tought lost was there. He was here! He was alive! And Caleb didn't know if it was his own or if he could feel Luciens heartbeat beneath all of those thick layers of wintergear hammering but Lucien himself? Without being able to explain why he felt his heart skipt a beat or two. This man was strange. But he sure knew. He felt a smile creep on his face. As that stranger burried his face into his coat in the hug. As long as noone saw it, Caleb was sure, he sure wasn't crying.

#critical role #mollymauk tealeaf #caleb widogast #lucien #fanfic #so fucking long #and he didn't even HEAR THE HEARTBEAT #He just felt it. maybe. #I have not spend the last two hours writting this and almost falling asleep serval times. no why are you asking. #widomauk #I have no clue what you wanna do with that but hey #good luck #good night #next morning and damn I know i was about to fall asleep but that were many typos orz #aaand now with link

[xaykwolf]

😘🗡️

😘 Favourite guest character or player

I love them all equally!

Okay, that's a lie lol. It's probably gotta be Mica Burton as Reani. Reani was a really good example of how the Nein contrast with a LG character, and how both mentalities get the job done. (And also thank gods they loosened her black-and-white view of the world up just a touch 😬.) Mica herself is goddamn hilarious, both at the table and in Talks. I can't count how many times I've watched highlights from the two Talks episodes she was in, ragging on/with BWF and playing at being host. She alone has singlehandedly almost gotten me to shell out for some Bolivian Rosewood Wyrmwood merch XD.

Close second would have to be Ashly Burch/Keg. And then close third Khary Payton/Shakäste. They're all really close, alright? 🥺

🗡️ Favourite weapon

Beau's hands lol well I'm only half-kidding

Truly though, it's pretty hard to pick, cuz all of the Nein's weapons allowed them to be so beautifully versatile on the battlefield, and I'm an absolute ho for that sort of thing.

That being said, it's probably a toss-up between the Holy Avenger and Beau's Lightning Gloves. We didn't have much time with Holy Avenger for me to get too attached to it, but I gotta say, attuning to it through a pseudo-death dream sequence was fuckin' baller, and one of the coolest ways Matt could've integrated the table into an apotheosis for Yasha/Ashley. The lightning gloves allowed Beau the option of elemental damage if needed, and they gave her longer-range attacks when her nonmagic fists weren't able to harm an enemy (remember way back when? XD) or her disgustingly quick feet couldn't get her in melee range. Also Marisha's "POP POP. With my LIGHTning gloooves."

#stardustedknuckles #Asks #CR #Both Of These Were So Hard To Pick! 😩 But It Was Fun To Think About The Less-Conventional Questions From Those Ask Posts

[beauregardlionett]

we could be...

AO3 Link

When Yasha left Xhorhaus, she had no mementos to remember Zuala. No pictures or portraits, no scrap of cloth or locks of hair. All she possessed were memories - the curve of her wife’s lips when she laughed, the press of her fingers against Yasha’s skin, the way the light caught and shone in Zuala’s eye.

The flowers pressed between the pages of her book were the closest thing Yasha had to physical reminders. Even those now sat dried and dead, browned and fragile.

Sometimes she saw bits of her late wife in her new friends. Zuala was there in the way Veth’s eyes lit up when she found something intriguing, rung through Jester’s delighted laughter, and stood tall in the way Fjord brandished his sword. It didn’t hurt to find her in these flashes and glimpses like it used to. Not because Yasha didn’t miss Zuala, but because she had come to terms with what happened.

And her heart felt drawn to another in a way that she no longer worried was traitorous.

The first time she had looked at Beau and felt that desire spark to life in her gut, Yasha hated herself for a solid week. Marriage in her tribe was for life, a bond that even death couldn’t break. Although her tribe had deemed her marriage to Zuala illegal, Yasha held that custom close to her chest.

But Beau.

Beau, who was unlike Zuala in so many ways, but caught hold of Yasha’s heart and handled it like the most precious item in the world.

No matter how hard Yasha tried to convince herself that she didn’t deserve Beau, couldn’t look at Beau, she fell anyway. She caught herself imagining Beau in ways she once shared with Zuala. Pictured Beau waking up beside her in the morning, walking through towns and markets with her fingers intertwined with Beau’s in a subtle gesture. She wondered how her hands would fit against the curve of Beau’s waist, how the monk might feel against her side and under her arm.

The one thing Yasha never had to imagine was how Beau would stand beside her in battle.

Where Zuala had been domineering with her breadth and bulk, looking like it would take an army to move her, Beau was nimble. Beau flit between the bodies on the battlefield like she had wings on her heels and the wind in her veins. Her fists moved with the speed of the lightning her gauntlets created, and Yasha found herself consistently in awe of her prowess.

Even now, as they stood scattered among their enemies, Yasha caught flashes of Beau’s blue clothing in her peripheral. The monk moved like a blur as she ducked and wove between allies and foes, striking blows as she went.

It was incredible that she still moved with such speed and precision with how long the fight had been going on. They usually dispatched and handled enemies in under a minute. This time, however, the battle had been running at the same intensity for near ten minutes. They were accustomed to short bursts of intense combat, and the prolonged skirmish was taking a toll.

Their spell casters seemed to be running on fumes, and Yasha caught Veth scooping up used bolts to reload her crossbow more than once. Yasha’s sword felt four times heavier than it usually did, and she had no idea how Beau had the stamina to keep moving.

It was then that everything seemed to happen at once.

Yasha cut the enemy in front of her to the ground with a definitive strike, heaving as she did. Across the field, Beau ducked in close to land a well-aimed jab at another enemy’s ribs, putting herself in a vulnerable position. The monk fell to the ground with a cut off cry of pain seconds later.

Yasha’s rage intensified.

Caleb and Jester both pulled intense looking spells from seemingly nowhere. Flames and radiant pink energy exploded and their remaining foes dropped at once.

The tension snapped like taffy stretched too thin.

Fjord was closest to Beau’s prone form, his hand grasping her shoulder and flashing with a pale green burst as Yasha limped quickly over. Whatever the half-Orc did was enough to have Beau gasping weakly back to consciousness. Some of Yasha’s lingering rage subsided as she knelt beside Beau, placing a careful hand between the monk’s shoulder blades. Between Fjord and Yasha, they got her sitting upright.

Exchanging a knowing look with Yasha, Fjord clapped his hand to Beau’s shoulder before he shoved unsteadily to his feet. Yasha watched him stumble toward the others, his hand reaching to grasp Jester’s elbow.

“Fuck,” Beau groaned, regaining Yasha’s attention. The monk was streaked in blood and covered in bruises. “That last one really hurt.”

Yasha’s hands moved on instinct, cupping Beau’s cheeks as her hands glowed with a gentle, pale light. The monk all but melted in her hold, eyes fluttering shut with a content sigh. Beau sank into Yasha’s hold as a tiny grin curled at her lips.

“Oh, yeah,” Beau slurred. “That’s the stuff. Thanks, Yash.”

“You’re welcome,” Yasha murmured with a deep set fondness, leaving her hands against Beau’s cheeks.

She settled beside the monk, tucking the other woman between her sprawled legs. Thumb stroking across Beau’s cheekbone in a soothing, continuous rhythm, something tugged at the underside of her heart. Deep in her memories, Yasha remembered.

Exhausted after seemingly endless battles, or after trying days of continuous drills and training, Zuala. Her late wife would hold Yasha’s face with gentle intent, pretending to examine Yasha for injuries. She would lean in close, act as if she were whispering or leaning to reach for something. Either way, Zuala would get close enough to leave a fluttering mock of a kiss to Yasha’s skin.

A public gesture of affection that wouldn’t get them killed.

Yasha knew that she didn’t have to pretend or hide away her affection for Beau. They were free here, and everything she wanted to do to share her adoration with the little monk before her, she could.

But they were drained and filthy, and the simple gesture was another piece of Zuala that Yasha had clung to for a long time. It was an easy, familiar act of affection - one that she wanted to share with Beau.

Leaning down, Yasha used her hands on Beau’s cheeks to tilt her face to the side. Beau looked confused, but went willingly.

It was a mock of a kiss, a whisper of fluttering eyelashes against Beau’s cheekbone that began and ended with little fanfare. Yasha turned her face enough to press her forehead against Beau’s sweaty, dirty temple and lingered. After watching the monk hit the ground, this easy proximity was more than enough.

“Yasha?” Beau murmured, her hands curled around Yasha’s wrists. The Aasimar hummed in response, prompting Beau to continue. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” Yasha answered, lips dragging against the skin of Beau’s sweaty cheek as she formed the word. Pulling back enough to look the monk in the eye, Yasha pushed out a quiet sigh and shifted her weight. Settling them both more comfortably on the dry ground, Yasha gathered the words to explain. Beau hadn’t asked, but Yasha could recognize that spark of curiosity in her eye.

“Zuala and I used to do that, that thing I just did. She never named it, but we did it all the time to show each other our affection when we were in public. It was easy to hide it sometimes, and it was like a...reminder. I know...we don’t have to hide. It just felt...right?”

Yasha watched as Beau’s face softened and her fingers squeezed gently against Yasha’s wrists.

“Thank you,” Beau said, tucking herself comfortably against Yasha’s shoulder. “For sharing that with me.”

Winding her arms around Beau’s frame, watching their friends nearby from over the monk’s head against her shoulder, Yasha felt entirely content. She had said to Veth once that they were a tribe, that she had to look out for them and protect them. Yasha wasn’t sure if they had all understood the weight behind her claim. But watching over them all now, Beau a warm presence in her lap, Yasha found herself settled. Even if they didn’t understand her quiet gestures in the way Beau did, they called her family.

It was more than enough.

#cr #critical role #beauyasha #beauregard lionett #yasha nydoorin #yasha #my writing #writing

[nochiquinn]

campaign 2 episode 123:

I have a whole bag of chips and a whole box of donut sticks, I am prepared for the long haul that this is apparently going to be

also renewed shoutout to the CC, I take my headphones out when everyone else goes to bed so I can hear the child if she needs me and this helps immensely

sam WHAT is on your face

I need Liam's shirt

Detect Iffiness

"he's not really great with pain" and I was gonna say he's had worse

"I PUNCH PEOPLE"

laura

marISHA

"with your mind?" "with his THIGHS"

travis is DELIGHTED by this

what if caleb can't identify bc he also has the eye

you think they ever meow around travis just to fuck with him

s a m

"once a day we can try for something stupid"

caleb

ashley is trying to make my prediction from last episode some through

I'm glad they're having fun with this

"I ROLLED A DRAGON"

travis

caleb get your squishy ass back here

jester vs big scary monster round one million

stress level: marisha has forgotten how to chair

"we're fucked" "no, YOU'RE fucked"

rip beau

turn gelidon into butterflies

OH yasha aasimar, reani aasimar, gelidon thinks all aasimar look alike and therefore did not realize yasha is not reani

nice

"that's the sex number!"

"'press square rapidly' no ♥"

rip beau

stress level: I have broken into the donut sticks

they need a big open/closed sign but it tells them when they have advantage

like taliesin writing "HUNTER'S MARK" on the chalkboard in their original set

it's okay yasha will catch her

at least he didn't lose it while he was in the air

"I think he told you to fuck off"

"why not roll less dice?" "why do you never roll luck?!"

"ancient dragons have a hot - a lot -" too late matt I heard you

I feel the spirit of the golden snitch in this chili's

matt stop trolling the lesbians

True Love's Heal

lightning fists LIGHTNING FISTS

wow fuck you pal

that's a fucking cool visual

me: once again my brother's name makes me do weird doubletakes in completely unrelated situations mala: Yasha is just chucking your brother me: improvised weapon

(that might actually work, he's basically a monk)

"I SUMMONED THIS BITCH WE'RE GONNA END HER"

congratulations you beat the prologue, you are now allowed to play dungeons and dragons

cuties

veth takes psychic damage

I like the mental image of veth having this conversation with just her head sticking up out of the snow

mala: RIPcords

samuel

just call your god a fucking idiot

(in fairness he is, in fact, a fucking idiot)

finally a solid excuse to kill otis

"it's a cursory roll" my ASS matt was rolling to pickpocket

mala: no map map cam

"the thing that fjord lost"

does that WORK on lucien? legendary action having ass motherfucker

I can feel my heartbeat in my face

YE

I am Experiencing Stress

why did they burn so many 20s on the dragon

give those back

is that a spell you can do or is he wearing a thing? if he's wearing a thing can they take the thing? and then make him choke on it?

hhhhHHHHH

aaand the child's cgm went off, now now child's pancreas

stress level: travis sass

he has a fucking eye now

wing sfx (relieved)

armor of Fuck You

"he's doing naruto shit"

if it goes past 3 am we legally get a second break

in all of this I'm trying to deal with the child's Diabetic Event so I keep having to leave and every time I come back someone else is on the ground or bleeding or an owl and it is NOT helping my stress

manifesting essek showing up. almost 100% will not happen but I'm manifesting it.

#ThankYouCrew

#critical role #spoilers #liveblog #reaction post #crititag