#yaknow when you want something to exists but it doesn't so you have to make it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

scummy-writes · 7 days

Text

(Modern day) Silvio as a roommate, who acts like you don't exist for a while. Not coldly, but both of you keeping your space. He sees no reason to be friends.

Silvio as a roommate, that after a few months, starts accepting the leftovers from meals you've cooked. He complains, but when you huff about how you won't do it again, he clarifies that it isn't bad, yaknow.

Silvio as a roommate, who falls asleep on the couch after long nights of drinking. You remember he needs to meet with someone today, so you nudge him awake with a clean shirt handed to him. He doesnt say much, aside from a grumpy look, but that afternoon he's brought you back something small from the cafe he had to go to.

Silvio, who huffs a little when thank him, bristling and saying not to look into it much, he ain't doing it again. But it turns into a small habit, and you've noticed he's taking into account the things you like.

Silvio, who starts looking at you more. You catch him out of the corner of your eye, sizing you up, glancing at your... assets. He doesn't say anything crude, and still keeps space, but...

Silvio, who complains when you come home drunk one night. You've hit your limits and he is annoyed. Huffing about how you should be careful, he ain't got time to babysit you, but you still wake up in the morning with a glass of water beside you, pain meds too.

Silvio, who crosses his arms, telling you he needs someone to come with him to meet with someone. There's going to be others there, and he hates when women drape over him while he's trying to make connections, so having you there will just prevent him a headache. Don't look too far into it, he'll buy you whatever you want from there.

Silvio, who on the way home, complains about all the people who flirted with you, saying not to trust any of the bastards, they're not good enough. He doesn't notice the slip of tongue, the odd compliments that come out mingled with the complaints.

Silvio, who puts a bottle of alcohol down decisively in front of you. You look confused, and he says you need to figure out your limits better, that he doesn't want you coming home with shitty men that make you have regrets in the morning. He doesn't notice he's calling this 'home' now. Doesn't notice how his expression gentles as the two of you sip and drink, chatting more, opening up.

Silvio, who doesn't notice how he seems less grumpy around the place. You're noticing him smiling more at you, you're both able to rib at each other, tease more.

Silvio, who has you pinned against the counter, sighing into your kisses. His hands are on your hips, moving under your shirt, as he grinds against you. You've both tipsy, and he's so red in the fast, murmuring things you never expected. Like how he can't stop thinkin about ya, how he's dreaming about your nails digging into his back, your lips on his neck and chest. He's hard, panting, begging for you to let him fuck you, at least just this once, so he can have some peace.

Silvio, who wakes up the next morning unable to talk for a moment. His eyes are wide as he looks at you, in his bed, with a random shirt of his as pajamas. He doesn't know what to say, so you stretch, asking him if he really only wanted you just once. He curses, frowning, but he's already climbing back on top of you, promising to fuck that sass away.

#dont look at me #uuugghghhfgh #okay ill tag it. i guess.#ikepri silvio

45 notes · View notes

sillysugargliders · 8 months

Note

I wanted to add on to your disability rep thing because Hunter exists and is either just as bad or worse. After all, both Eda and Hunter only get relief from their issues, Hunter's being the inability to use magic when this is a society where that's expected from any able bodied person, at the expense of others. That to allow characters like Eda and Hunter to fit in or be happy, they must be a burden to others. For Eda, it was sharing her curse with Lilith, cutting hers in half, yes, but now making the burden hurt more people besides herself. For Hunter, it literally comes at the expense of his best friend's life. And in both, its presented as a gift and kindness by the able bodied person to take this burden of theirs away. Just with Flapjack it's a bit more tragic.

I also want to point out that never do Hunter or Eda surprise you by showing that just because they're disabled, they're not invalid. Eda gets captured/has her life threatened LESS in S2 than in S1 when she now has glyph magic, which also effectively negates the handicap she has due to her disability. Hunter gets ONE moment to be like "No staff, no problem" and even then, it doesn't get him his staff back and he is still entirely powerless against LUZ without it.

The show's stance on disability seems to be that yes, you're allowed to live your life, you can do that, but you are still lesser and weaker and put others in danger because of it and while yes, many disabled people need help, plenty with disabilities are entirely independent and if anyone could have shown that, shouldn't it have been the Golden Guard and the most powerful witch in the Isles?

ohhhh i hate hate hate how many people got hurt due to eda's curse. sure i guess thats just the nature of it but all its telling me is "disabled people hurt the ones they love by being disabled" if that makes sense. this is a very good point i hadn't even considered

the hunter point is also really good even tho i dont really consider him to be too disabled imo (cuz demons also dont have magic, right? then that would be disabling and entire species and theres the social model of disability i would recommend looking into) but if hunter was written to be disabled then that's something i cant disagree with, yaknow? either way he has some sort of impairment since its expected of him to have magic, but i just see it more akin to glasses users since he has his staff and whatnot. It's still bad that they had him be essentially cured as well though

anyways yeah, it really pisses me off that so many people got hurt by eda's curse cuz again all its saying is that youre going to hurt the people you love if you become disabled. and not to mention that dell becomes disabled too because of it and due to that eda stops talking to him.

so basically all im getting is 1. if i accept my disabilities i will be cured 2. i will always hurt the people i love by being disabled 3. my disabilities are a superpower, like thanks The Owl House™

#toh critical #toh criticism #the owl hosue

28 notes · View notes

dr3amofagame · 3 months

Note

Hot Take: c!drunz is based on c!Punz’s respect for c!dream more than on his allegiance to c!Dream’s cause in particular

strongly agree / agree / ambivalent / disagree / strongly disagree / don’t care whatsoever

eghmmmm

see, it's not that c!punz doesn't respect c!dream. bc he does, obviously. and it's not that c!punz doesn't care about c!dream either--because he does, obviously.

however.

if we look at a timeline of their interactions, c!dream and c!punz start being obvious allies in the revolutionary war. they never really fight against each other but don't really fight with each other again until the battle of the lake, where punz was originally on the opposite side but gets bought by dream. that's the beginning of a mercenary relationship between them as we see it in canon, and their alliance continues for the rest of the timeline. c!dream specifically mentions to c!punz on december 17th that their relationship has developed beyond being purely mercenary in nature.

obviously punz is in total agreement to what dream is saying here, but it's just as obvious that, well, punz is still being paid. there's also the emphasis on the relationship having "grown" from being less than this in the past -- which makes it quite clear to me that when their relationship began, it was obviously quite transactional. both of them had something to gain.

obviously the start of a relationship doesn't determine its end. but the start of this relationship, evidently, is rooted in what c!punz could get from it. moving onwards, it's worth noting the significant benefits that c!punz gets directly from his alliance with dream: he gets to use the revive book, gets to be put 'in charge' of the server while dream is gone, gets material benefits from being paid, gets access to knowledge and power that would otherwise be impossible. with the staged finale, he even gets hailed as a hero of the server. obviously, c!punz benefiting from their relationship isn't evidence against c!drunz or whatever, but it's definitely important to note that he does benefit. he benefits in very significant ways that appeal to him, materially and to his desire for knowledge.

with all of that in mind, when we look at what c!punz says about what he wants, primarily, we have stuff like this in the finale:

in the finale, c!punz makes it pretty damn obvious that he finds what c!tommy wants stupid and simple-minded. including, as he lists here, the part where he just walks around the server and makes friends. he emphasizes the importance of finding answers, that their central goal is to know more about everything. he also points out specifically that he believes that he and c!dream are of the same mindset, that they have the same goals.

so i think it's decently important to note that when we see c!punz talk about him and his relationship with c!dream, it's usually in relation to their plans. when he meets with c!dream post-prison, he mentions that now their plans can get back on track. he tells c!clingy that he's doing what he does for power. in the finale he keeps highlighting their goals, the desire to Know More, the need to understand everything. especially when you consider the end of the last finale stream, because there is a pretty obvious division established between the way c!dream reacts to c!tommy trying to reason with him and c!punz's reaction. c!punz tries to shut c!tommy down while c!dream listens, and c!dream makes a very apparent choice to keep talking to c!tommy instead of doubling down on the same line of reasoning that he and c!punz had been on the entire conversation thus far...indicating that there *is* a separation that exists between these two characters in what motivates them yaknow?

obviously c!punz respects c!dream. but when we look at their relationship in the lore, we know that their relationship *began* because of a level of personal gain by c!punz, as he was a mercenary. we know that over the course of their alliance, c!punz had very clear goals that he was working towards with c!dream that he thought they shared, gaining more knowledge being among the most obvious, but also working against factions (that he also indicates he dislikes in the third finale stream)

at no point do we ever see c!punz acting in support of c!dream without clear personal benefit being involved--which again, isn't a bad thing, right. obviously it makes sense for c!punz to be helping someone if he thinks that the two of them can achieve what they desire together. but at the same time, when it comes to c!dream's core emotional wants, these are often communicated through vehicles like c!ranboo and then c!tommy in the finale, not c!punz. when c!dream seems to waver when c!tommy talks to him about what he saw in limbo, i would hardly characterize c!punz's reaction as anyting positive. c!punz's focus is consistently on what they are trying to achieve and the knowledge they're trying to get--when he mentions dream being his friend, it's in response to tommy's challenging him, and dream is conspicuously silent. obviously, c!punz cares. obviously, c!punz respects c!dream. but in terms of what proof exists in canon, i just don't think there's nearly enough proof to say that c!punz's reasons for allying with c!dream have more to do with c!dream than their goals.

#my asks !!#dsmp hot takes asks #like obviously punz cares. i just think that evidence shows that he cares more about knowledge #there is room for interpretation yeah but i think the evidence most straightforwardly points to this conclusion imo ?#like an appeal to friendship pretty obviously. Does Not Work on punz the way it does on dream #and when it does work on dream. it kinda obviously does work on dream in a way that isn't about punz #i like c!drunz but their relationship kinda Has to have the plan tying them together imo?#c!drunz without the plan isn't canon c!drunz #and the whole thing that makes the focus shift at the end of the final finale stream is when c!dream backs down and c!punz doesn't #anyway #sorry for my haterisms

17 notes · View notes

icharchivist · 1 year

Note

you have a point. theres something about lucilius creating belial as a sentient sex toy and then growing tired of his sex toy being sentient and wanting to have sex. especially when contrast with lucifer who was explicitly encouraged to grow beyond his original purpose. also its just sad to think that belial only existed so lucilius doesnt have to endure the indignity of touching himself but ig that sort of thinking is on brand for the astrals in general and lucilius especially :( poor beli tho

No but see this is actually a reading i Seriously Have, it's not even me indulging on silly hc, i genuinely, honest to god, believe that.

like i also feel like Lucilius doesn't care about sex which is the other possible reading of it, but i could imagine creating Belial with this specific feature out of curiosity, trying out yaknow? or even if Lucilius doesn't care for sex 90% of the time, he's a thousand years old. Weird libido moment can happen every century or so yaknow.

Like, making Lucifer the Emotional support, and Belial the physical support, with all it implies, even if it's for things Lucilius doesn't have a full need for support for.

The problem, of course, is that Belial is sentient and has feelings outside of this little thing. So eventually Lucilius gets tired of him, just letting out some steam once in a while isn't worth the worst possible lover he could imagine (you MADE HIM THAT WAY LUCILIUS) so he ends up neglecting him, which has Belial want to overcompensate. He wants to be even more what Lucilius wanted him to be and he's going to try even harder to fit this purpose.

And tbh i feel it a LOT when i listen to Parade's Lust? Like, Belial clearly has pleasure in sex, yeah, but there's a way he talks about the physical release that i find downright depressing? Like he gets bored of it, he talks about it as a carnal release more than pleasure, it's just. It feels more like he sees it as utilitarian in general than fully pleasure.

and i think it works even better with this reading of "Lucilius created him as a sex toy and oh no his sex toy caught feelings now what".

Justice for Beli.

#ichareply #ichafantalks gbf #ichablogging wmtsb #anonymous #cutting deep in the fantalks today

3 notes · View notes

iliketodecompose · 1 year

Text

A Very Shallow Analysis On The Visualisation Of The Very Abstract Concept Of Processing Grief

so.... i take english lit.... I've studied a streetcar named desire... which.. if you are familiar w that text at all u understand how almost everything means something. let's just say it traumatised me into reading into everything i consume as intensely. ... this is a warning ..... hehe .

OKEY!!!! so as i am physically incapable of being normal abt anything. and ive had 2 weeks to basically do nothing but Consider My Little Gay People i have come to a pretty insignificant but overall (i think) cool conclusion abt... the eclipse & the sequences in which we see dika, aye's uncle, about to kill himself or in the process of killing himself.

they always kind of confused me??? tbh?? bc like. chadok is also seen in that same place at the same times . and neither aye nor chadok are in eachother's scenes . so TO ME!! i think in reality nobody actually saw dika kill himself and the scene w the cliff edge is smth moreso akin to their emotional manifestation of the idea. and how they feel in relation to that. them being helpless to stop him as they weren't there for him to see that. placing his death in a place that perhaps meant something to them when he was alive. yaknow. hence aye placing flowers there ;_______; ough.....

i came to this conclusion. Essentially. by laying down for a while and trying to make sense of those scenes and realising some details that make it seem more of a purposeful choice instead of like. Bad writing .

FOR EXAMPLE!!!!! aye's hair & the necklace. these r rlly. why i have such deranged faith in this idea. in the actual flashbacks to around the time before dika's death aye has much less styled hair. it makes him look younger!!! makes sense. it's generally a more juvenile style . bangs in da eyes babey. <333 he looks v sweet. (smth to b said maybe abt how his outward appearance prior to and post dika's death and how that signifies a change. Oh boy..) but my point is when we see aye in the present his hair is styled!! slicked back generally and if not u can see a parting. makes him look Older. i mean yeah ..... he could have just worn that hairstyle when he was younger but we never see him look like that when he's actually around dika. hence my reasoning lmao. i also believe fiction doesn't normally want u think abt reality as much as that tho . it feels reductive to me.

my other main thing is tha necklace!!!!! babey. . simple as: aye gets the necklace after dika's death. it's left to him. in the cliff scenes he's wearing it as well as his uncle. there rlly isn't much more to it than that lmao. unless.. There was a second one?? but i don't rember it. >:-)

there is also smth to be said abt the weird liminality of those scenes too which make me think it's not smth that actually happened and acts as a way to visualise these characters processing their emotions. how dika flashes in and out of existence. perhaps the characters attempting to place image to smth they never got to see. chadok is wearing his uniform when he's seen there. .... the idea of him being stuck between two mental places i think is highlighted thru that.

YA!!!!! that's my thesis. truly.. i could write an essay on this. but i can't scrape enough Braincells together . i am sick and sitting in my pitch black room w my one window covered by the blind at 2 in the afternoon on a school day . .. I am beyond saving.

FAREWELL

<3 uses my college adobe subscription for evil (putting gay people in front of pride flags) (no greater comfort to me)

#im also insanely sleep deprived.#..... ENJOY #this is for my bestie soulmate who i talk to abt these things hiiiii<333 heyyyyy<33333 #the eclipse series #the eclipse the series #the eclipse #akkayan #akk the eclipse #ayan the eclipse #teacher chadok #the eclipse chadok #teacher dika #the eclipse dika #im fully prepared to come across a scene where this idea is brutally murdered. short term memory is a prison #but Hey. Nice to get it out there. HAVE A LITTLE FAITH!!!!!

5 notes · View notes

diefakemodzilla · 2 months

Note

scuse my weirdass rambles, i swear i have just put this place under a microscope /j. so many observations to be made lmao

listen, i was just scrolling through the undertronic tags for nostalgia and some writing ideas (there was one (1) fic on ao3, yaboi wouldn't be takin that). i didnt actually know there was even anything on there, i had never checked before. and honestly, seeing everything that had been posted onto there was a trainwreck of emotion. it was like scrolling through messages of a group of friend's chat and reminiscing memories, except they're not mine and i was never there. it's such a vivid feeling of absolute belonging to a place i was never present in, yaknow?

and then i saw y'all and couldn't stop thinking about it for days. the carrd caught my eye first because a) bro that's just a straight up sickass carrd holy shit and b) undertronic content?? in the wild?? lets go babey!! and then i looked into it more and just. man, i dont know what emotion it was, probably like all of the above. 'cause holy shit, i didn't know there were more people like me out there!! i thought we were the only system who had undertronic headmates that existed for years!! it didn't even cross my mind that it was possible for more to be out there. so reading through old pluralkit discord screenshots and posted conversations was like looking at something i had always longed for.

you guys looked like you were happy in those chats.

you didnt have to hide in those moments. i wanted to reach out and reply and laugh alongside the ghosts of these four year old conversations and say "i get it, i understand this, we've lived it too," because i've never talked with someone who had a chance of returning the sentiment to its full extent. man, it was like lookin in a mirror of what i wanted to see. and i know i'm crazy 'cause again, i wasn't there. you could argue i'm still not 'here', hiding behind signatures and pseudonym accounts.

i got what i came for, though. i have my never-ending nostalgia and a pile of fics to write. i just think that the inspiration doesn't come from the ideas i saw being laid out, but the people who did so and the inherent beauty of learning it the way i did.

anyway. again, pardon my over-analytical rambles. wanna go grab a cup of tea and bitch about life some time?

-💜💚

I feel the groupchat / belonging thing bcs that's how I feel when I look at old homestuck content (I didn't get into it until 2016, when it yk, ended)

Also oh my god *points* listen

Listen

We genuinely have like the whole cast of UT in our head because it's one of our spinterests (the other being aphmau ofc) so the fact that you also have UT headmates is so???? /pos I feel seen I feel less alone we get each other we shake hands

Ik it would take away the safeness of being anon but now I'm thinking of how fun it'd be to make a UT themed syscord server hrmm

Anyways I'm in tears anon /pos I would love to grab tea and bitch (as long as it's iced tea sorry im southern I don't drink it hot /j)

0 notes

intrepidradish · 1 year

Text

Media: Star Trek

Year/my age: 2020/30

What drew me to the media:

Okay! To be far, I was a fan since birth. In the back of our VHS cabinet, an entire wall of the shelf was made up of The Original Series. I think it was 30 or so tapes? Each vhs case was a uniform gray. My dad was a fanatic since childhood. They watched the Next Generation before my memory began. Deep Space Nine played in the background of my life and then Voyager. They separated when Enterprise was running. Star Trek is in my blood.

I watched TOS alone in college the same year I got interested in the Labyrinth. It's goofy. It's shakespearean. The OT3 is potent! I had fun but it didn't leave much of an impression on me besides: 'I like Spock. Kirk is a doofus. I like Bones.' After college that was it. I put Star Trek away.

For the next few years I dabbled with the Next Generation, but it's uhhhh... just not very interesting for me.

So what the fuck was my problem with it? I'm a sci fi fan! Yaknow! This is my heritage! This is my calling! But I was always lowkey pissed at Star Trek, and I continue to be.

And this is something that frustrates me about Star Trek fans, is no one wants to talk about things they don't like about the shows. I mentioned a plot of a novel I was working on to a group of writers and someone (as someone does) was like 'oh yes, like Star Trek!'

I scratched my head and said, pitifully, 'well, you know, I sort of have a lot of issues with Star Trek.'

"What!? But Star Trek is the best!"

But like...is it?

And since it doesn't seem to allow space for critique, it's sort of hard for me to get my feelings out about my hangups with it. I'll try my best.

To really understand why I didn't like the Next Generation is I sort of needed to experience Farscape before I could approach it again.

This is my biggest hangup about it.

I have a hard time understanding a future where everyone has the same motivation for being and existing together in space. Star Trek is very utilitarian. It's carpeted corridors. It's a little sexless (The Original Series got around this but it's also very dated sexiness). It can be so SERIOUS. It's militaristic (yes it's a peace mission to explore the galaxy but the organization of the ship is so uninspired for me). And even when the crew encounters a complex moral dilemma, it always feels like they get on top of it in the best way possible. Everyone is fit in this world. Everyone is healthy in this world. They shape human culture as if we "achieved" perfection somewhere along the past.

And it drives me FUCKING CRAZY.

The world of Star Trek is not a future I want at all!

Sorry I'm such a messy slut, but like it really dilutes the complexity of existence to the most utilitarian and predictable. The Starship Enterprise reminds me of past work environments that do 'culture hiring' for fuck's sake!

In short, the storytelling bothers me. The characters both me. And I wish we fans could have a conversation about why Star Trek *isn't* perfect and why as a the leading sci fi franchise it needs to embrace being more fucked up.

What made me a fan:

Deep Space Nine baby! What I just said above was completely voided on that fucked up space station because it's about a bunch of people that have to learn to live with each other despite having varied life experiences and view points. They aren't going to all get along. That's a good thing. People make mistakes here. Bad ones.

Some of the more batshit characters exist in this series. Garak is fucking wild. Like WTF. Gul Dukat is the WORST. Kai Winn SUCKS. Quark!? IS GREAT. Odo???? I LOVE MY JELLOMAN KIND OF FASCIST???? OR NOT? THE HOTTEST WOMEN EVER ARE IN THIS SHOW AND ONE OF THEM KISSES ANOTHER WOMAN. Kira and Jadzia are like so good. Sisko is fucking great. Miles o Brian is back being traumatized and has some fantastic episodes. Season 2 there is a three person pregnancy. People dying really knocked the legs out of me. Weyon is the fucking cutest dumpster fire evil clone.

DS9 really helped me see Star Trek differently. It's a really good story from start to end, which I feel like the procedural nature of the other series has a tough time grappling.

The problem characters add so much zest to plots too. It's one of the first Star Treks that I actively see trajectories of characters when they aren't on screen.

Like Garak/Bashir example. Bashir would be interested in the giant lizard spy, because he's obsessed with subterfuge. They probably have some weird friends with benefits situation until the Wire. Then it's more serious. But when war starts, they get distant again. Julian is grappling with his identity. He shifts to hanging with Miles a lot more as the war gets hot. He gets drafted into being a spy. They have the weird prison camp 'adventure' yikes. When they finally separate at the end, with Garak finally being able to return to Cardassia but it's fucking wrecked and Julian says goodbye. There is a REAL MATERIAL SADNESS THERE. And that's only one example of show dynamics. I can imagine a lot of his weird mental jumps beyond the plot of the show just in subtext.

I remember showing DS9 to the hubs and being like 'why didn't you tell me this show rocked?' and he was like 'you know I don't think I thought of this show as highly as I do no rewatching it with you. it's really one of the best star trek series.'

YES THANK YOU.

Have I written fanfiction for it? Why or why not?

I have. I wrote a really short one shot about Odo pining for Kira. I liked the Odo/Kira pairing. Heart of Stone really blasted me. I knew that he was going to develop a crush on Kira because someone told me, but that episode is SO SPICY. Like no one expected that jelly dude to want to with Kira, who was like so adored by so many people. AH. I still love it.

Just thinking about it again. I should've written more. I had the ideas. But I was sort of bogged down with the other things I was writing at the time, and writing Star Trek fanfiction is also intimidating. It's a big fandom. There is so much lore that I can't even begin to grapple with.

I also knew that if I started on any of my ideas they would spin out of control. I'm long-winded. Even if I say 'I'll keep this short' working on a project generates more ideas for me.

I really really love DS9. I really love ALL THE CHARACTERS. Where do I even start? I'd be at it forever.

Opinion on the fandom:

I've already mentioned my hang ups with the fans, but I love the fandom. Star Trek fans are widespread. They exist in so many people. This show has touched so many people in so many ways for generations. It will continue to matter to our stories and culture.

But thanks to DS9 reorganizing my atoms or whatever, I can watch other Star Trek shows again (at least for a bit). I think I'm halfway through Voyager. I'll probably finish it some day. I'm excited to one day start Enterprise.

Would I read it again?

Sure! Ya!

#my personal take

0 notes