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#xxx he has really sweet relationships and intentions with the people he's learned from so far so that may or may not be subject to change
dontbipanicjonsa · 2 years
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Been thinking about Dark!D*ny and
I think for me, it comes down to two things:
The utter hypocrisy re: her supposed abolitionist ways
The escalation of her power and the destruction she wreaks
Because I can't really fault her for smothering Drogo. I can't really fault her for letting Viserys die. I can't really fault her for murdering the shit out of Kraznys. I can't fault her for freeing slaves (as if). I can't even fault her for wanting revenge.
Let me explain-
I think if we compare the capture of the Lhazareen and the capture of Meereen, it paints a very clear picture of where D*ny is headed.
The Lhazareen
Ok. First, the whole 'D*ny has no power' argument has to stop. She's the khaleesi. Her husband is the khal. Of course she has power.
I'm NOT saying Drogo isn't absolutely monstrous to her. I'm not saying she chose to marry him. I'm not commenting on their relationship at all.
In a patriarchy, (upper class) women gain property/power/control over others in exchange for sexual/reproductive service. So D*ny, simply by virtue of being the khal's wife, or simply because she's pregnant with his kid (neither of which were her choice) has power.
For comparison, Cersei, who is abused by her husband, the king, still derives power from her position as Queen and mother of the princes/princess. See what I mean?
?? Drogo decides they're gonna sail to Westeros and gives his rousing speech because D*ny was almost assassinated. The attack on the Lhazareen was done in service of D*ny's conquest of Westeros. Let's repeat.
The Lhazareen were attacked to further D*ny's interests.
The Lhazareen were attacked to further D*ny's interests.
No, it wasn't for Rhaego, he's a fucking foetus he doesn't HAVE interests. It's not for Drogo, he doesn't give two shits about Westeros. IT"S FOR D*NY. And that is her 'power' in action. Her power, that she derives through her husband, because PatRiarChy. But power.
And you know what? Sure. It's fine. She didn't know what a bloodbath it was going to be. That's not her fault. And yeah, she IS ready to accept the bloodshed as necessary collateral. That is...a bit more questionable. But she does try to help some women.
Does she only help them because she can see their suffering? Probably. There's plenty of suffering not in her direct line of sight that she allows. But ok. Sure. It's not her job to save everyone (nevermind that they're suffering to further her interests).
The whole 'save them by marrying them to their rapists' thing makes me more sad than enraged. It's tragic. It's D*ny, making women marry their rapists in the same book where she married her rapist...thinking she's ok, thinking they would be ok too. It's the cycle of abuse in motion, right before our eyes.
This is an explanation I accept. All that bullshit about how powerless D*ny is? Pls. Women and children are being enslaved right there on the same page, so D*ny can win the IT, and she's powerless ?? stfu
Ok. I get it. She's not powerless, but how far does her power extend? COULD she have gotten away with getting all the newly enslaved Lhazareen freed? We'll never know. Does that absolve her?
Slaves, Dany thought. Khal Drogo would drive them downriver to one of the towns on Slaver's Bay. She wanted to cry, but she told herself that she must be strong. This is war, this is what it looks like, this is the price of the Iron Throne.
NO.
This- the capture and enslavement of the Lhazareen people- is a direct consequence of Viserys' ambitions, which is a torch that D*ny has now willingly taken up. THAT ^^^ is a price she's willing to pay, or rather- make others pay.
Buuuut it's fine. She's inexperienced, and her power is certainly limited, and hey she tried. Sure. Moving on.
Meereen
(TW: mentions of rape)
Fast forward four books and D*ny is approximately 100x times more powerful than she was in the Lhazareen scene. Let's see how she does now-
A boy came, younger than Dany, slight and scarred, dressed up in a frayed grey tokar trailing silver fringe. His voice broke when he told of how two of his father's household slaves had risen up the night the gate broke. One had slain his father, the other his elder brother. Both had raped his mother before killing her as well. The boy had escaped with no more than the scar upon his face, but one of the murderers was still living in his father's house, and the other had joined the queen's soldiers as one of the Mother's Men. He wanted them both hanged.
I am queen over a city built on dust and death. Dany had no choice but to deny him. She had declared a blanket pardon for all crimes committed during the sack. Nor would she punish slaves for rising up against their masters.
xxx
A former slave came, to accuse a certain noble of the Zhak. The man had recently taken to wife a freedwoman who had been the noble's bedwarmer before the city fell. The noble had taken her maidenhood, used her for his pleasure, and gotten her with child. Her new husband wanted the noble gelded for the crime of rape, and he wanted a purse of gold as well, to pay him for raising the noble's bastard as his own. Dany granted him the gold, but not the gelding. "When he lay with her, your wife was his property, to do with as he would. By law, there was no rape." Her decision did not please him, she could see, but if she gelded every man who ever forced a bedslave, she would soon rule a city of eunuchs.
SO anyway how is D*ny rating on the 'tried to prevent rape' scale?
She even went so far as to summon Irri, hoping her caresses might help ease her way to rest, but after a short while she pushed the Dothraki girl away. Irri was sweet and soft and willing, but she was not Daario.
Oh look she's in the negative :/
How's she doing on the slavery front? She's got all the power now...
"Your slave Missandei." Jhiqui had a taper in her hand.
"My servant. I have no slaves." Dany did not understand. "Why does she weep?"
xxx
There was no slavery in the free city of Pentos. Nonetheless, they were slaves.
...
D*enerys spends five books gaining power. How does this affect the condition of her people? Is the condition of the Meereenese better than the condition of the Lhazareen had been, all the way back in the first book? No. It's worse.
People have still been raped. People have still been enslaved/remained enslaved. People have starved. People have been brutally murdered. And at a much larger scale than book 1.
This is what it comes down to. D*ny is a villain because her climb to power is characterized by death and destruction, always. Isn't that the trademark of a villain?
D*ny is a girl who truly believes in her own PR, but when you look at her words and actions-
"The Good Master has said that these eunuchs cannot be tempted with coin or flesh," Dany told the girl, "but if some enemy of mine should offer them freedom for betraying me . . ."
"They would kill him out of hand and bring her his head, tell her that," the slaver answered. "Other slaves may steal and hoard up silver in hopes of buying freedom, but an Unsullied would not take it if the little mare offered it as a gift. They have no life outside their duty. They are soldiers, and that is all."
xxx
"No," she pleaded. "Save him, and I will free you, I swear it. You must know a way … some magic, some …"
...how much of her actions are truly altruistic? How much is performative?
Despite her anti-slavery rhetoric, D*ny consistently benefits from slavery- and slavery flourishes.
Despite her 'oh no I don't wanna bring death and destruction anywhere', her actions continue to bring exactly that- and it never stops her from doing it all over again the next time.
Not to dismiss her internal struggle. But really. Being upset at the thought that you might be a bad person doesn't make you a good person. For that matter, being worried if you're going mad or not...doesn't mean you're not (not that I'm saying she is). Seriously, where did that logic even come from? Ultimately, her internal struggle makes her a more compelling character, sure, but it doesn't actually make her a better person.
The point is, her story is absolutely rooted in hypocrisy. Her destructiveness only escalates with her power. Her so-called good intentions never pan out- because her own actions undermine them. And because she has the self-awareness of a pigeon, she never gets better.
She IS the villain who thinks she's a hero. She isn't just a villain because she's done bad things, but because she's utterly unaware (or deliberately obtuse) of the bad things she's done, and so she's incapable of learning, and so she's only getting worse.
Take a step outside her POV and it suddenly becomes clear.
Let's recap.
D*ny has-
Wayy more power in Meereen. Less in Lhazareen
D*ny did-
Less to prevent rape in Meereen. More in Lhazareen
D*ny benefitted from-
Slavery in Meereen. Slavery in Lhazareen
D*ny was-
A slaver in Meereen. A slaver in Lhazareen
D*ny wreaked-
Death and destruction in Meereen. Death and destruction in Lhazareen.
D*ny, riding high on her power-
Ordered the murder of children. And much more.
Power is NOT good for D*ny.
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jynzandtonic · 3 years
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I completely and totally do not mean this to be like a “call out” ask or anything argumentative at all I truly think you’re one of the most kind and compassionate bloggers in the adcu and I know people are going to say that it’s all just jokes/being silly/not that serious, but I feel a bit like the jokes/joking outrage at the new character pics have been a bit much and leaning towards the fatphobic/ oversexualizing Adam side of things. I truly do know that most people are just joking around but as a fat person, I basically took “we wanted hot!professor Adam not this” to mean “this” is ugly and gross. And one of my closest friends in the world has early male balding and quite literally almost has the same hairline as Adam’s character at the age of 27 and it’s his deepest insecurity and he genuinely feels like no woman could possibly find him attractive the more he loses hair, and being on Twitter and Reddit and seeing people’s reactions and mocking of those pics really just reaffirmed that for him. I know people are going to maybe roll their eyes at this and say it’s all just jokes and not that deep but there are a few of us that the comments kind of just put a pit in our stomachs. I guess I just wanted people to maybe take a step back and think about the implications of their words a little more and what’s kind of implied (whether intentional or not) when you say you wanted a “hot” character to lust over and this ain’t it. I know the actual costuming isn’t that great and some have said that’s what their reactions were really about, but I didn’t see many “wow it looks so fake that’s what I’m actually laughing at” posts. There were also a few comments I saw and interactions with your posts and some others saying like “oh no well it makes sense that they made him fat and ugly because the character is a horrible guy” also basically implying that being fat and not meeting our standard beauty expectations for men (and women) = you’re a bad gross person. Sorry for my essay here and being maybe a pain in the ass for bringing this up as I know the comments sort of died down now, but it’s still sitting with Jacob (my guy friend) and I and I’m still feeling very shit about my body (not solely bc of the jokes but they just reaffirmed the negative “you’re gross and undesirable” thoughts I already have) so I felt it was maybe worth mentioning. xxx💕
First and foremost, I want to say thank you for reaching out and sharing your thoughts. Don’t apologize at all! <3 Also, please know you can always always always give me constructive criticism when it comes to stuff like this—I want to do my best to learn and grow.
Your feelings are completely valid and your points are ABSOLUTELY worth bringing up.
To address the photos: with the first round of pics that came out, I personally found the costume to be tacky/over-the-top 80s and the wig to look really unrealistic—the more recent rounds of pictures have changed my mind a bit. My qualms were with the costuming, but I didn’t do a good job of making that clear.
It’s 100% on me for HC’ing him a different way than his look in the film—I think my expectations were in part built around the ‘Charlie Barber with glasses’ look à la Noah and in part how I imagined him in the book, so I was surprised to see something so radically different. I deeply apologize for the ways fatphobia and body-shaming manifested in the way I talked about it. 
I’m neither on twitter nor reddit, but I know those virtual landscapes can get truly vitriolic, and I’m so sorry for the icky feelings the posts you saw brought up, too.
Fatphobia is some toxic and pervasive shit, and it truly does carry serious negative implications for how we judge people’s character. 
White Noise is one of my favorite books (I’m a post-modernist nerd and DeLillo just nails it for me), and from my reads of the text, I don’t believe Jack’s character is a “horrible guy,” (though I know some disagree) but rather a flawed and insecure man desperate to cling to a sense of prestige and identity in order to give his life meaning. However, I absolutely agree that some have jumped to the rhetoric that there’s a correlational or even causational relationship between being fat/‘conventionally unattractive’ and being a “bad person,” and I, too, find it very upsetting. What you’re saying really rings true. 
As for the conversation about sexualization, I think AD is a phenomenal actor and I’ll yell it from the rooftops. I watch his films ad nauseam and will rave about his range and passion to anyone who will listen. That said, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with expressing sexual desire for his characters, and I sometimes think discussion can wander into vaguely condescending misogyny and slut-shaming when people talk about the ways women and femmefolk should or should not experience desire or consume his content. I think it’s more than possible to appreciate him as an actor and indulge in the thirst at the same time.
Again, I can’t tell you how grateful I am to you for sharing your perspective, sweet anon. I’m sending all my love to you and your friend xoxoxo.
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moogiwarah · 4 years
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🐓
Hi! I want to have comprehensive list of the BL manga/manhwa etc. that I’ve read because I want to spread the love for this genre 💜.  This post is a list of works that I’ve read which is not in this page yet + my comments on each work. I hope some people will find something that they like here ^__^
🐣 All BL recs from me 
manhwa  🐓
💜 Never Understand
Yuri, one of the school's most handsome guys,and Jaerim, one of the school's ugliest, collide!...or don't they? Can't understand what's going on between these two! It's Out of Control! 
shounen-ai, completed, 87 chapters
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THE STORY IS SOOOO GOOD. The art also improved by a lot upon reaching the later chapters. Jae-rim is dubbed as “ugly” (he’s a whole cutie tho) and I’m glad to see a non conventional character design for an MC! I highly recommend reading this!!  👌💯
Incorrigible 
A sequel to “Never Understand” which is focused on Cho Ayeon’s story after being free from Soyeon’s control.
yaoi, completed, 8 chapters
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This has few chapters so maybe that explains the fast pacing. Nonetheless, it was a nice read, I have a really soft spot for Jae-rim so seeing his r-18 experiences with Yuri really got me ahkdjashdkajshd ;W;
💜 Dirty Vibrations
Best friends Yeong and Nohae thought it was a joke when they downloaded the infamous “cursed” app. It’s said to command the user to perform…sexual acts and punishes those who disobey or delete it. It started with making them kiss. When they disobeyed its order…the punishment was anything but a joke. 
yaoi, ongoing
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This one is from Fujoking (author of Youjin)! In all honesty, I love this for its sex scenes. They are so well made, the art, the dialogue, the expressions, and just *chef’s kiss* 👌. When it comes to expressing sexual scenes in BL, my top authors would have to be Fujoking for manhwa and Zaria for manga.
💜 Paid
Executive director Heejae is nicknamed "Chaebol Prince" by the public. But his life is turned upside down when documents linking him to an embezzlement scheme are unexpectedly found by an accounting collegian Taekyung! So he pretends to have a crush on him, but.. Taekyung wants more than just flirting! 
yaoi, ongoing
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This is another one from Fujoking! This has a heavier plot as compared to Dirty Vibrations, so you get amazing smut AND an engaging story! 
💜 On or Off
Yiyoung is building a startup with his college friends. They get a chance to present their proposal to SJ Corporation, one of the leading companies in the country. But in the meeting room he sees Kang Daehyung, the extremely handsome company big shot that's so very much his type, and Yiyoung's heart starts to race...! Can pretty-faced Yiyoung win both in love and his career? 
yaoi, ongoing
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Okay this! It’s really funny and the pacing is nice and the characters are nice and the art is nice and the perfect mix of romance comedy and slice of life i just HUHDADKAJDHJK it’s rly a feel good read and both MCs are SO ATTRACTIVE.
Penthouse XXX
Siyeon, a contract killer, has declared a boycott on men after being screwed over by his ex. That is, until he moves into a penthouse owned by Taekyung, a rich heir with killer looks.
yaoi, completed, 49 chapters
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It has meme worthy illustrations xD. The graphics are nice but I found Taekyung (one of the MCs) to be a little toxic. Also, some parts of the story were not wrapped up/discussed enough imo. But overall, it was a pleasant read.
Home Sweet Home
The last thing Jungyeon expected was for his mom to ask if she could remarry. The new man was kind, considerate, a perfect match for his mother but there’s a catch: he has a younger son. Sunwoo is an introvert. He’s shy and has trouble opening up to others, until he meets Jungyeon and finds himself opening up for the first time. As their parents get closer to marrying, they become close, too close, and that’s when Sunwoo learns Jungyeon is already seeing another man.
yaoi, completed, 57 chapters
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I honestly don’t know why this has quite a low rating on mangago because I found it to be a good read! It’s like sitting through a romance-drama movie. I liked the ending and the relationship between the main couple.
K’s Secret
Employee Kim Doyoon has been working for 5 years. He has one secret that he can't tell anyone else - the fact that he's a half-vampire born between a human and a vampire.
yaoi, ongoing
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The art is so good in the recent chapters ugh. Also the sex scenes are well made. The plot is a little unclear though, and I feel like the relationship of the two MCs are kinda forced and unnatural hahaskdhakjdh. Still reading it tho since it’s ongoing.
💜 I have a Boyfriend
Kang Hyeon Ho, who belongs in the university soccer team goes into a breadth class and encounters the person he went to middle school together with and was his first love, Han Gyeol. 
yaoi, completed, 44 chapters
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THIS IS BASICALLY COLLEGE AU ROM COM ADDITIONAL TAG: FIRST LOVE AND IT’S AMAZING. Just a really well rounded story with the right amount of drama to bring out its slice of life  😭💘 Also, this is tagged as yaoi but the sex scenes were few and not that explicit.
💜 Voice of Love
After experiencing a traumatic incident involving a previous lover, Jiho is too afraid to tell his classmate Soohan that he likes him. Thankfully, Soohan can hear otherpeople's thoughts and asks him out first. But, as we all know, love isn't always that easy. Will Jiho and Soohan really get their happily ever after?
shounen-ai, completed, 37 chapters
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Just a really cute story about mind reading and high school boys being in love. Ah, youth. This will make you feel good like ,,, awww young love :( <3
Base to Base
The elite Sung Moon High is fields one the country's top 5 high school baseball teams. Kim Soohyun was the ace pitcher of his middle school now started his first year at Moon high baseball team...since his beloved sunbae Choi Woojin(captain/catcher) is there....Kim Soohyun is an cutie puppy with stalker tendency exclusive for his beloved sunbae. 
shounen-ai, completed, 28 chapters
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Sports manga/anime always had a little (or lots) of gay, well this one made it officially gay! A cute rom-com bUT I feel like the ending was rushed. I would have loved it if there was more, but nonetheless, a good read! :)
manga  🐓
💜 I Seriously Can’t Believe You  
"I don't think you've realized your true nature yet." That's what Kon tells Iida, the hottest guy at school, wondering how anyone could be so proper. As popular as he is, Iida doesn't seem interested in any of the girls who come after him. Kon and his buddies try to look into the matter by flipping a coin and having Kon approach him with his confession of love, just to see if he's really interested in guys. "I've... never looked at guys like that..." says Iida, falling for Kon's ruse. Kon takes him home, hoping to straighten out the misunderstanding, when Iida suddenly grabs him by the shoulder, and... A story about a mysterious hottie at school and a prince of a certain kind. 
yaoi, completed, 5 chapters
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THIS IS FUNNY AND CUTE AND HOT AND SHORT BUT REALLY GOOD JUST READ IT YOU WONT REGRET IT!
💜 Yoru to Asa no Uta 
(Chapter 0) ; (Sequel)
Asaichi can't play any instruments, his voice is average, and he's only in the band for the girls and the sex. Plus, he's homophobic. For some reason, the new bassist is infatuated with him despite the treatment Asaichi gives him.
yaoi, completed, 1 + 8 + 8  = 16 chapters
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It’s by Harada (author of ‘Yatamomo’ and ‘Color Recipe’) so expect dark themes. Trigger warning for rape. I suggest you skip the rape if you can’t handle it because this manga is so good. Its art and story (much like Harada’s other works) will really suck you in. This left a deep impression on me because the characters felt so alive. I respect Harada so much for that ability.
💜 Eigyou Nika!
Sakisaka, stationed in the second Sales Division, has an unrequited love for Toujou, his directing senpai. He had no intention of confessing his feelings. However, Toujou has been awfully touchy-feely lately… Is there a glimmer of hope? Please don’t let it be a misunderstanding! Which path will these vexing feelings flow down to?
yaoi, completed, 10 chapters
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I had fun reading this because it’s so fluffy!! aaaAAAA I love friends to lovers and cuddling and the sweetness that comes from a relationship that is a more than friendship but less than lovers. A lighthearted read <3
💜 Mou Ichido, Nando Demo
On his way home from picking up a rings for himself and his lover, Fuji Takahiro is hit by a car. His resulting amnesia degrades his live-in lover Kotou Tarou to a mere flatmate, and a series of misunderstandings threatens to tear the couple apart. Tossed around by desperation and confusion, can Tarou and Takahiro rebuild their once blissful relationship? 
yaoi, completed, 11 chapters
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This is like watching a really good mature drama. The characters feel real and the situations presented in the manga were also something one can easily imagine themselves being put into. A short and good read.
💜Ookami-kun wa Kowakunai
The world is filled with animals that can evolve into beastmen. There is a young and earnest wolf who was always mistaken for a showy person because of his flashy looks. The easily mistaken wolf has fallen for an attractive looking rabbit named Usami, who is cautious of carnivores.
yaoi, completed, 6 chapters
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I mEAN,,, LOOK AT THEM!!! This is wholesome and very fluffy huhuhuhu no more words needed. A short and cute read! <3
💜Ookami He No Yomeiri
Kaede is a rabbit person chosen to be the 'bride' of a distinguished wolf family. Although he does not wish to marry a wolf, his family pleads for him to go so that they can have enough supplies to last for the next two years. However, how will his new husband act towards a little bunny rabbit stuck in the wolf's den?
yaoi, completed, 8 chapters
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The art is good and the story is cute :((( They’re so cute aaaa I’m a sucker for grumpy looking x ray of sunshine it’s just uGH the contrast never gets old.
💜 Encirclement Love
Ryou had a sleepover and saw his friends - Issei and Tadahiro - kissing while they thought he was asleep. He asks them about it and feels betrayed as a childhood friend when they pretend nothing happened. Determined to catch them red-handed, Ryou ends up inside a closet with Issei's little brother - Yuusei -, who has a unexpected reaction to the situation.
yaoi, completed, 6 chapters
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It’s basically four high school boys being horny. All four of them are friends and I find their dynamics really funny. Also, they’re all hOT 🥵 I had lots of fun reading this!
Mother’s Spirit
University employee Ryouichirou is ordered by the Chairman to take in an exchange student. That exchange student, Qaltaqa, is a native from a developing country who can't understand Japanese!! Though he is a warrior of his tribe and a man of great beauty, seeing him afraid of the phone and the TV, and even the toilet, Ryouichirou gets fed up… But while being called "Ryouichirou" in such a clumsy manner, he has a change of heart!?
yaoi, completed, 13 chapters
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This is funny and interesting! A short read to boost your mood and get your yaoi fix ;D
Dakaretai Otoko Ichii Ni Odosarete Imasu 
Saijou Takato's 5 year reign as the "Most Huggable No. 1" has been snatched. Stealing his thunder is the newbie actor with a 3-year debut, Azumaya! Towards the stuffy hostile Takato, Azumaya's sincere sparkling smile starts to become effective. Even as Takato sets his alert level on MAX, Azumaya catches Takato in his shameful drunken state and uses it to blackmail him! In exchange for Azumaya's silence, Azumaya states, "Please let me hold you"'?! "Embrace me, who was the Most Huggable No.1? What the heck is he saying!" 
yaoi, ongoing
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I remember dropping this because MC was obviously raped, but upon watching the first episode of the anime adaptation, they made the sex consensual (thank God) and the story is not so bad after all. I suggest skipping the first chapter altogether and just start off at episode 1 in the anime, then you can pick it up in the manga to see the explicit scenes xD
That’s it for now! Will continue updating in this tumblr acc. as I continue on reading more BL ehe. Hmu on my twt if u wanna talk about BL and/or anime and manga in general hehe. Love lots~ 💜🐓
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delta-roseblr · 4 years
Note
Could you write a fic about Dean coming to Vermont, and waiting for Felix to be picked up. While waiting, Felix's ex comes over and flirts with him. Dean awkwardly tells her that sorry, he has a boyfriend. I would love to read Dean awkwardly telling her he's seeing someone and when she keeps it up with the insisted flirting (saying that he can always do better, meaning herself) he tells her he's waiting there for his boyfriend. Xxx
Hello!
This was a super cute prompt but it didn’t fit with how I knew Dean would meet Felix’s ex (because I have known how that would go for a very long time). So I decided to write Dean meeting Felix’s former friends. I hope you still enjoy it even though it is a bit different from your original request.
Enjoy!
Dean was looking down at the now empty cup in his hand as he declared, “I was kind of expecting something more impressive.”
Felix couldn’t help but laugh as he interlaced his fingers with those on Dean’s free hand. Being early August, it was hot and humid out and both of their hands were quite sweaty, but Felix really didn’t care.
“It was the first Ben and Jerry store, not the Washington Monument,” he pointed out with amusement.
Felix had never been much of a fan of wandering Church Street but having Dean with him actually made it fun. He was sure that hadn’t been his dad’s intent when he decided Felix should go back to Vermont for a few weeks before school started to visit his mom. Too bad for him that Felix’s mom actually liked Dean so she immediately suggested that Dean should come along. Having Dean there made the whole visit infinitely more enjoyable, and Felix was loving showing Dean around Burlington.
Dean looked up from what had been his container of ice cream and grinned. “Exactly,” Dean commented before tossing his cup into a nearby trash can.
Felix had always been aware that Ben and Jerry’s had started in Burlington, but it never seemed like a big deal. Dean, on the other hand, insisted that they had to go there at least once. He compared it to going to Seattle and visiting the first Starbucks location. Felix didn’t know if the two things were really the same, but Dean was so cute about it he couldn’t find it in him to argue.
It was such a warm day, the ice cream had been a welcome relief, but Felix was excited to move on and show Dean more of the city. “Come on,” he exclaimed as he gave Dean’s arm a gentle tug.
Dean let himself get pulled along a little although he wasn’t as quick and willing about it as he had been most of the day. “Felix, we don’t have time,” he reminded, “We need to get Alley.”
That was a disadvantage Felix really hadn’t anticipated for Dean’s visit. His mom had never really expected Felix to drive his sister around but that had apparently changed because it seemed like every time he turned around since arriving he was getting asked to take Alley somewhere or to pick her up from something. It didn’t help that Alley seemed to be always volunteering him for those jobs.
Felix hadn’t ever really been close to his sister until he decided to come out to her. He hadn’t been looking for some kind of bonding moment or anything. Honestly, Felix had just wanted to say it out loud and had thought she was drunk enough to forget.
Whatever his motives that decision had changed his relationship with his sister. Shockingly, Felix kind of liked that they were closer even if it could be weird at times. He didn’t mind playing chauffeur when Dean wasn’t there. No offense to Alley, but once Dean arrived Felix was looking to get as much alone time with him as possible.
Worse yet, Felix couldn’t even protest most of the time because Dean was quick to accept the job on his behalf. It was a mix of southern manners, Dean’s desire to make Felix’s mom like him (even though she already did), and his interest in playing the older sibling. It was all very sweet of Dean and was only driving Felix a little crazy.
“I know,” Felix assured even though Alley would be fucking fine if they were a little late to get her. It was the middle of the fucking day, and she was shopping with her friends. “The coffee shop she is supposed to meet us at is right around the corner,” he explained and gave Dean’s hand another quick tug. “She can walk with us back to the car,” he commented. Felix wouldn’t have been surprised if they ended up waiting around for her because she lost track of time or some stupid bullshit so the least she could do was to walk with them back to the car rather than make them try to drive to pick her up.
“And we could get coffee?” Dean questioned as his face lit up like a kid on Christmas. It was absolutely fucking adorable. “You know, before we head back to your house where sweet caffeine is forbidden.”
Fucking Chad, Felix’s mom’s now live in boyfriend not only didn’t drink coffee but wouldn’t let it in the house because apparently if he couldn’t enjoy it no one could. The guy was such a pushover about a lot of things but on that one, he wouldn’t fucking give. Whenever it was brought up, he would go into a full-on lecture about how coffee wasn’t good for your body. Felix’s mom went along with it too even though Felix knew she just stopped at a coffee shop on her way to work. The whole thing was fucking stupid.
Felix hadn’t really anticipated how affected Dean would be by the lack of caffeine. He guessed it made sense because as much as Dean fought it, he wasn’t a morning person. Felix wished he had thought about it, so he could have warned Dean even though he didn’t mind Dean curling up in his lap when he had a headache. That was actually pretty fucking cute.
“Babe,” Felix replied with a grin. Seriously, he had been smiling so much since Dean showed up his face was starting to hurt a little. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you’ve got a chemical dependency going on with coffee,” he teased as he gave Dean’s hand one last tug before they started down the sidewalk side by side.
He felt more than saw Dean shrug as they walked. “Considering my genetics, I could be addicted to a lot worse.”
The comment was said casually and with much more levity than Dean normally spoke about his father’s borderline drinking problem. Felix had already planned on agreeing to coffee but after that, he didn’t see how he could say no.
He brushed his shoulder against Dean’s playfully as he assured, “Then I think we can make time for coffee.”
Dean made a happy little noise that was absolutely Felix’s favorite sound ever before he leaned over and placed an affectionate kiss on his cheek. “You’re so good to me!”
Felix was sure he blushed at that. He was definitely grinning like an absolute idiot. He always did when Dean did cute things like that, but there was something about him doing it in public that Felix especially loved. They were still keeping their relationship quiet back in Tennessee which Felix understood. Dean had watched how shitty people (or at least some people) were toward Will when it came out that he was gay, and he didn’t want Felix to deal with that while he wasn’t around. It made complete sense. Felix still liked it whenever people could see they were together.
Dean was being extra cute and affectionate as they made their way through the crowded streets. It made the walk pass by more quickly than Felix had anticipated. It had felt like only a few minutes had passed since they walked out of Ben & Jerry when the café was in sight.
The café was one of the smaller businesses on Church Street, which meant it was still pretty large and busy, but it just tried to give off more of a boutique vibe. Its storefront was mainly one large window so most of its interior was visible from the street. Felix was pretty sure that it was supposed to be reminiscent of Paris, but it really just served to make people watching far easier.
In this case, it served as a quick warning because as he and Dean approached Felix saw several familiar faces sitting around a table toward the front of the café. He stopped dead in his tracks and hissed, “Fuck!”
“What?” Dean questioned stopping too. “What’s wrong?” he asked as he looked around searching for the problem, but he didn’t see it. He couldn’t because he didn’t have the necessary knowledge.
It was such a good day. Felix didn’t want it to be ruined by horrible people. He didn’t even want to talk about it, but it wasn’t like he could just drag Dean away without explaining. He hated the whole situation. “You mean besides my really shitty luck?” he questioned with frustration.
“Um…?”
Felix just sighed. He peeked at the window to make sure they hadn’t been spotted even though he knew where he and Dean were standing that would have been impossible before meeting Dean’s gaze. “Some people from my old school that I used to hang out with are in there,” he admitted even though he really didn’t want to.
“Oh,” Dean exclaimed. If Felix didn’t know Dean he wouldn’t have noticed it, but he did know Dean, so it was impossible not to hear how carefully neutral Dean’s tone was. Dean wanted to say more or ask more but was carefully choosing not to.
Felix knew Dean wanted to know more about Felix’s life in Vermont before they met. Every once and a while he would ask a question or two which Felix normally tried to dodge without really giving any information. It wasn’t that he was trying to keep secrets from Dean because he wasn’t. Looking back Felix just hated who he used to be or at least how much he had let other people dictate how he should act. The people he had once called friends were all shallow assholes, and Felix had spent so much time hiding so many things about himself to maintain the right image for them. He was pretty sure if he and Dean had met when Felix was in Vermont Dean would have hated him. If he had learned anything it was that Dean wasn’t the type to hold his past against him, but he didn’t want to disappoint Dean either. None of it mattered anyway because Felix was never going to be that person again, so it was just easier to not talk about it.
There had to be a way to get around the whole awkward situation without Dean being exposed to those awful fucking people. “Maybe I can just text Alley to get her ass out here,” he commented looking down at his phone. It was a good plan and Alley was always glued to her phone so she should get the text. Felix was surprised how easy of a solution that was and then he remembered the problem. “Fuck! We were going to get coffee, fuck!”
“Felix,” Dean said his name in the sweetest most reassuring tone. It looked like he went to touch Felix’s arm reassuringly but pulled back last minute which was telling even if Dean didn’t mean it to be. “It's fine.”
Dean wanted coffee, and it was their day for Felix to show Dean around and have fun. He didn’t want it ruined by ghosts of horrible friends past. And he wanted to get Dean fucking coffee. “It’s really not,” he muttered. He was impressed that he managed to hide how truly pissed off he was by the entire situation.
“They were your friends,” Dean pointed out, “You should at least go say hi.”
Dean didn’t really get it and that might have been Felix’s fault. On the few occasions he had talked about Vermont, he had called all those people his friends. A lot of that had been not long after Felix had moved, and he hadn’t realized how inaccurate that word was. The longer he stayed in Tennessee and got to know Dean he realized more and more those people had never been his friends. The thing was, the longer he was away from them the more Felix embraced who he really was and what he liked. It was hard not to be around Dean because he was always so authentic. Felix was just fucking embarrassed he had hidden himself, and let himself get dragged into things he didn’t want to do by people he wasn’t even sure liked him.
When Dean eventually left for college, he would be happy to come back home, and he would want to see Wash and Watts and probably even Kyle because they really were his friends. He couldn’t really get that Felix had no desire to be reminded of his old life. Of course, Dean would think Felix would want to see his old friends at least on some level.
There was no way he could explain that to Dean or maybe Felix just didn’t want to try because it meant admitting to things from his past that he preferred Dean not know. He probably should have just kept his mouth shut, texted his sister, and just tugged Dean away from the stupid café. He didn’t do that because in some ways he was very dumb.
“That’s debatable,” Felix grumbled under his breath as he continued to just stand there.
“Come on,” Dean stated insistently as he gestured toward the door of the café, “I’m a little curious to meet your old friends.” Dean paused for a second before adding a little more quietly, “You never really talk about them.”
And now Felix felt guilty on top of being frustrated. He wanted to make the day fun for Dean and somehow the shitty people he used to hang out with were ruining it. That was bad enough, but Felix was left looking like a complete asshole. “Um, yeah,” was the only reply Felix managed because again he didn’t know how to honestly explain that he didn’t want to expose Dean to such shitty people.
The change in Dean was undefinable but still unmissable. It was almost like he pulled away from Felix even though he didn’t really move at all. “Felix, it’s okay,” Dean insisted with carefully chosen words. Felix wasn’t even sure what he was talking about, but he could tell Dean was saying that because it was expected and not because it was actually okay. “We don’t have to tell them we are a couple or anything if you don’t want to,” Dean explained as he faked being comfortable with the idea. Maybe if Felix didn’t know him, he would have believed the act, but he did know Dean, so he saw right through it, “I’m totally fine with that.”
That wasn’t it. That wasn’t it at all. How could Dean think that Felix would care about that? Felix wanted to scream they were a couple from the rooftops for everyone to fucking hear. “Dean,” Felix sighed out the name. He didn’t even know where to begin in an attempt to reassure Dean, and the fact that Dean needed the reassurance broke his heart.
Felix had more to say, he was sure of it. He was sure if he could just get started, he would find the right words, but Dean didn’t let him. “Come on,” Dean insisted. He went to reach for Felix’s hand, probably to tug him along like he had on so many occasions but stopped just short. Felix saw the moment where he decided that was a bad idea flash in his eyes even though Dean tried to hide it. Pulling his hand back he gestured over his shoulder at the door to the café. Dean was trying so hard to act casual about the whole thing, and to a stranger, the act would have been enough.
Felix ached seeing Dean like that and the fact that he was trying to hide his upset only made Felix ache more. He wanted to do something, to say something. Maybe he just needed to explain things to Dean, at least as much as he had to for Dean to understand that it wasn’t him. Or maybe he should just apologize for being the worst boyfriend in history.
Again, Dean really didn’t leave him much of a chance to do anything. He didn’t wait for Felix to agree or really say anything in reply before he started walking backward for a second before turning on his heels to start for the door of the café. Felix really had no choice but to follow Dean. He couldn’t let Dean go in there alone. Those assholes would eat him alive.
Stepping through the door, the café was everything Felix remembered. The air was filled with the strong scent of coffee and baked goods. All the tables were crowded with people and the cute music that was playing overhead was just a little too loud so that it intermixed with all the people talking to create a chaotic chatter that was overwhelming.
“What do you want to drink?” Dean asked. He sounded so close to himself it was really nice to hear.
Felix looked at Dean as he processed the question. Dean was hot no matter what but there was something about the café, it’s lighting and its color scheme. It brought out the blue of his eyes, the golden of his hair, and the shine of his skin. He looked like art.
At this point, Felix had known Dean for over a year and had been dating him for about half that time. He should have been used to the fact that Dean was good-looking, but it could still leave him struggling to find words.
“Um, whatever,” Felix managed to mutter, “You know what I like.” Actually, Dean seemed to know what Felix liked better than Felix did sometimes. Half the time Felix ended up liking what Dean ordered more than his own drink, so he was pretty confident that Dean could order him something he would like.
Dean smiled and for a second it was a real smile but then his eyes drifted off a little, and his smile seemed to take on a little sad note. “Go ahead,” he stated with a weak gesture toward where the people Felix didn’t want to see were sitting, “I’ll be over in a minute.”
Oh, Felix didn’t like that idea at all, but Dean was already making his way to the counter to place his order, so he really didn’t see how he had any other choice. “Okay,” he stated more in an attempt to steel himself for what was to come than anything else. He took a deep breath and headed over with all the excitement of a man walking to his death.
Vanessa wasn’t an observant person. Normally if it didn’t have to do with her, she was fucking oblivious. So the fact that she spotted him approaching from what felt like a fucking mile away was just another sign of Felix’s horrible fucking luck.
“Felix, is that you?” Vee exclaimed with her patented fake excitement as she gestured for him to come over. Felix was planning on it even if that was the last thing he wanted to do. The feeling that he was being ordered around by Vee just increased his reluctance and annoyance with the entire situation. “Allison said you were visiting, but I didn’t think we would actually see you.”
Felix made a mental note to scream at his sister for forcing him to talk to these people about him. He would have preferred if they forgot he existed. They seemed to have when he first moved so it apparently wasn’t that hard. Felix didn’t think he was asking for much.
He walked up to the table where everyone was sitting. Well, maybe not everyone but the real highflyers. Vee was there because she would simply be devastated to not be the center of a social gathering. Emily was there because she simply had to go everywhere Vee went. Isaac was there as Vee’s “boyfriend” prop which worked well for Isaac because Felix was sure he loved having everyone know he was dating the “It girl”. Rounding out the crew was Dex who in all fairness wasn’t half bad. He was typically one of the quieter ones, and he didn’t seem like a total dick when he wasn’t being influenced by others being fucking assholes. Thing was, there were always other people around being fucking assholes.
“Yeah, aren’t you too cool for us now,” Isaac added on with heavy condescension.
Isaac had always been a condescending ass to pretty much everyone but maybe less so to his social circle. Felix never really noticed it or realized that they had apparently been in some sort of weird competition for years until he had found out he was moving. Any decency Isaac showed Felix vanished as he swept in to take all the things in Felix’s life that he apparently wanted all along, like a vulture picking at a corpse. The captain position on the lacrosse team that he claimed for years he didn’t even want was the first thing he had gone for, and he hadn’t even waited for Felix to move for that one. Vee was just another one of those things, and at least for that one, Isaac waited until after Felix had left. He hadn’t waited long, but at least he had waited, and in the end, Felix couldn’t really be too pissed about it because he got Dean. Going from Vanessa to Dean was like the upgrades of all upgrades. That still didn’t mean Felix wanted to deal with Isaac’s general douchebaggery.
As much as he wanted to tell Isaac to shove his attitude up his ass he knew if he wanted to get this whole thing over quickly, he needed to just ignore it. “Hey,” he greeted with zero fucking enthusiasm which was about what they deserved. “Um, have you seen Alley?”
“A while ago,” Dex answered, “But not here.”
Fuck my fucking life, Felix cursed internally.
It shouldn’t have been a surprise that Alley wasn’t where she was supposed to be, but it was wildly fucking inconvenient. “Awesome,” he groaned. Maybe he could just go get Dean and head outside to wait for her. It was a good plan except he was pretty sure that Dean was convinced he was trying to hide their relationship from his stupid fucking friends, and if he did that Dean would feel like that proved that even more.
Fuck!
“So, are you visiting for long?” Vee asked with interest.
Felix could practically see her plotting. It was like spring break all over again. Felix would think she had learned he wasn’t interested in being a part of her weird mind games or her fucking drama, but no. Vee’s ego just couldn’t allow her to get that.
Felix sighed in resignation to the whole shitty situation before replying, “Feels like too long.”
He might have been being a little dramatic because besides for a small annoyance with his mom when he first arrived Felix had actually been enjoying the trip. Dean being there was a huge part of that but whatever the case he had been content until that moment. Of course, dealing with Isaac and Vee was like a black hole of suck that almost nothing could escape.
Isaac huffed dismissively almost like he won something even though Felix was fucking positive he hadn’t won shit. “Can’t wait to get back to the land of pickup trucks and confederate flags?” He questioned and fuck was he ever lying on the condescending prick tone heavy.
Felix glared. Yeah, Tennessee felt like going back in time in all the worst fucking ways, and Felix was usually the first to point out how backwoods it was. That didn’t mean Isaac got to make comments like that. Felix wanted nothing more than to tell Isaac to go fuck himself.
Of course, he didn’t get to because things just had to get worse. “Oh. My. God,” Vee’s friend, Katie, declared excitedly as she returned to the table, practically pushing Felix aside as she did, “The hottest guy ever is at the counter right now and I literally feel transcended having just looked at him, I swear to god.”
Katie was another one of Vee’s little group of girlfriends. Like all of them, she was on the cheerleading squad and valued perfect hair over perfect grades. She was annoying and shallow, and most importantly, just like Emily, she defaulted to everything Vee said.
Isaac rolled his eyes because he just hated the idea of anyone threatening his newly acquired role as alpha fucking male. “Oh, how no one cares,” he dismissed.
Vee fucking giggled her fake giggle as she smacked Isaac’s arm playfully. “You’re such a jerk!” She told Isaac teasingly.
The whole exchange was so fake it was nauseating. Felix wondered if he could just walk away because it wasn’t like any one of them were really paying attention to him. Somehow, he didn’t think he would get away with it.
Katie dropped into a chair and craned her neck as she looked to the front counter before gasping more dramatically than could have possibly been necessary. “Oh my god,” she exclaimed, “And now he is walking this way!”
Everyone looked, even Isaac who tried to look annoyed and unimpressed as he did and Dex who tried to act like he wasn’t looking even though he obviously was. All three girls made approving noises while Isaac made a dismissive huff that didn’t quite cover the look of discomfort which suggested that whatever he saw made him feel threatened.
Out of curiosity, Felix turned to see who Katie might be talking about, and he wasn’t all that surprised to see Dean approaching with two iced coffees in hand. Of course, Katie was talking about Dean. He was gorgeous and unfamiliar. Also, it was in line with Felix’s supremely shitty fucking luck.
“Yeah,” He let out a resigned sigh and turned back to Vee, Isaac, and their cronies, “He’s with me.”
It wasn’t like Felix could hide that, at least not for long, but it felt like the wrong thing to say as Vee, Emily, and Katie all turned on him wide-eyed. “Shut the fuck up,” Katie gasped.
Oh, Felix really wished he could.
Before anything else could be said, Dean arrived at Felix’s side completely unaware of the awful people he was about to interact with.
“Hey,” Dean greeted as he offered Felix one of the cups of coffee, “I took a risk and got iced because it’s like a thousand degrees.”
Felix took the cup, noted the whipped cream and red-tinted drizzle on the top. He had no idea what that was, but he could see Dean had it on his drink too, and if he was being honest, it looked pretty good. Also, even if it was awful considering what Dean was going to have to go through because he was dating Felix, Felix would have suffered through it.
“Iced is perfect, thanks.”
“Felix, don’t be rude,” Vee scolded which unfortunately reminded Felix about where he was and who he was dealing with, “Introduce us to your handsome friend.” She had been no more than halfway through her sentence before her attention drifted to Dean and she zeroed in. When all was said and done, she was looking him up and down like he was a meal and she was a hungry animal.
Vee, in true Vee style, wasn’t being fucking subtle, and Felix wasn’t the only one to notice. After giving another heavy eye roll, Isaac was all but glaring at Dean. Felix didn’t know who pissed him off more, his ex-girlfriend who was currently ogling his boyfriend or Isaac the asshole who was currently trying to do some weird alpha male intimidation thing.
“Yes, please,” Katie exclaimed excitedly before turning to Dean, smiling, waving, and greeting, “Hi.”
Yup, Felix thought to himself, I already hate this.
The real fucked up part was he was sure it was just going to get worse. Felix was absolutely positive he was the worst boyfriend ever. He didn’t want to be, but he really felt like he was.
“This is Dean,” Felix offered with a gesture toward Dean and absolutely no enthusiasm. These were just two worlds Felix had never wanted to collide, but it was happening, and he couldn’t make it stop. “Dean this is Dex, Vee, Isaac, Emily and Katie.”
“Hey,” Dean greeted with a wave.
“Your accent is so cute!” Vee exclaimed like Dean was a cute animal at a petting zoo or something. Not only was it annoying because she was still checking out Dean, but Felix was also offended on Dean’s behalf because it was sort of offensive. “Welcome to Vermont!”
“Must be jarring to be away from the family farm and tractor,” Isaac commented, “Get used to paved roads yet?”
Felix was going to punch Isaac in the fucking face. He didn’t get to talk to Dean that way. Everyone else, Felix could give two fucks about but not Dean. He felt himself tense and he might have even taken a step forward. He wasn’t really sure. It was like the world had gone black.
What stopped him was the sound of Dean’s amused laugh. “Oh wow,” Dean exclaimed, and he didn’t sound offended at all.
The world came back to Felix, and at least he wasn’t the only person that looked pissed at Isaac. All three girls, including Vee, were glaring at him not that Isaac seemed aware of it. He was too fucking busy looking at Dean like he had won something.
“So, let me clear something up for y’all,” Dean stated. He still sounded amused which Felix couldn’t understand, but at the same time, it felt very Dean. He was the type that took the saying turn the other cheek seriously. “We live in the suburbs of Nashville,” he explained gesturing between himself and Felix, “And the only farm I’ve ever been to is the abandoned one outside of town and I wasn’t driving a tractor.”
Well, Felix could attest to that because he knew from personal experience that there was an abandoned farm just out of town that was Dean’s go-to hook up spot. Felix had been there with Dean plenty of times and most of them ended with them fogging up the windows of Dean’s Honda.
“Don’t mind Isaac,” Vee stated politely before she shot Isaac a disapproving and annoyed look, “He’s apparently easily threatened.” Normally, Felix wouldn’t back Vee’s passive-aggressive jab at Isaac’s ego, but on this, he honestly deserved worse, so Felix was for it.  
Of course, the unspoken moment of solidarity that had existed between Felix and Vee was short-lived because it took her seconds before her attention focused back on Dean and she went back to her bubbly cheerleader persona as she asked, “So are you guys on the Lacrosse team together?”
Felix realized he couldn’t hit a girl, but he also recognized that he really fucking wanted to. Dean, on the other hand, was either completely oblivious to the fact that Vee was flirting with him and probably trying to picture him naked or was pretending not to notice it. He just shook his head and corrected, “Soccer.”
“I love soccer,” Vee declared, and she really went over the top with it. She gave an excited gasp and everything. This was from the same girl that complained incessantly about going to any soccer-related activity unless the cheerleading squad was performing. Felix was used to Vee being sort of fake, but this really felt like she was bringing it to a new level.
“Soccer’s the best,” Emily declared with a dreamy sigh.
Dean’s eyes lowered slightly, and Felix thought he made out the slightest of pinks spreading across his cheeks. So apparently, he wasn’t completely immune to all the over the top attention. “Thanks?” he muttered somewhat bashfully.
Fucking Isaac and his fucking mouth apparently weren’t done. “Let me guess,” Isaac interjected, and he still sounded so fucking annoyingly triumphant.
What the fuck did he even think he was fucking competing for, let alone winning? Vee? Boy, was he going to feel fucking dumb when he realized.
“You play goalie,” Isaac declared with utter certainty and utter distaste. He apparently didn’t think much of the fact playing goalie was hard as fuck. Really that was just very Isaac and shouldn’t have been surprising, but it still got added to the list of reasons Felix really wanted to punch Isaac in the fucking face.
Dean, in perfect Dean fashion, apparently wasn’t bothered by Isaac. He seemed more comfortable with Isaac being a dick than the girls’ over the top flirting. Felix realized he was probably an asshole for finding that somewhat comforting. “Forward,” Dean answered completely unbothered. “Or I did,” he corrected quickly and then went on to explain, “I actually just graduated.”
“Yeah,” Isaac commented, and he still seemed so fucking triumphant, “Does Tennessee have good community colleges?”
Oh, Felix was so fucking done with Isaac and his fucking mouth. He could be a condescending asshole to Felix all he wanted, but not Dean. And he didn’t get to fucking sit there and question Dean’s intelligence, especially when Felix knew Isaac usually barely managed a B- average and that was cheating off Felix for math.
He glared at Isaac with the heat of a thousand suns. “Are you seriously being this big of a fucking asshole right now?”
Isaac gave him a dismissive look which just pissed Felix more, but Dean was still completely unaffected by all of it because he apparently had the patience of a fucking saint. “I don’t know. I didn’t really look,” Dean admitted with a casual shrug, “I’m attending UC Berkeley in the fall.”
Isaac’s face dropped, and Felix would have sworn he heard angels singing, the sight was so perfect. Felix already knew he was in love with Dean, but he might have fallen in love with him a little more just because he knocked Isaac off his stupid fucking pedestal. Also, Dean tried to hide it, but he had a victorious little smirk of his own at Isaac’s reaction, and Felix fucking loved that too.
“Cute and smart,” Vee exclaimed, “Color me impressed.” Vee was already laying it on pretty thick with her tone, but she actually had the fucking boldness to fucking look Dean up and down like she was undressing him with her fucking eyes. Felix had some news for her. Dean looked fucking amazing naked, and she was never going to see that for herself.
“That’s apparently not that hard,” Isaac grumbled as he actually slumped in his seat a little and pulled his arms over his chest like a pouty fucking child.
Vee ignored him and kept her attention solely (and intensely) on Dean. “So how long are you visiting us?”
Again, Vee’s attention made Dean bashful and quiet in a way that Isaac being a big old bag of dicks just didn’t. Felix was sure Dean would come up with a response at some point. The thing was Felix had reached his fucking limits.
“I literally can’t take this,” Felix declared to the ether like he was already justifying what he was about to say. “Yeah, so Dean’s actually my boyfriend,” he stated, and he didn’t even bother to hide the fact that he was absolutely seething.
No one laughed or anything, but there was a moment where it was more than obvious that everyone around the table thought it was some kind of joke. The longer Felix was silent the more it seemed to hit them that he hadn’t been playing around. Since almost everyone around the table was a horrible human being Felix knew that confession would bring him nothing but trouble, but it all seemed fucking worth it to watch Vee and Isaac's faces fall into matching expressions of shock.
“Um….,” Dex hummed nervously. He was so obviously uncomfortable, and he was suddenly looking everywhere but at Felix and Dean. “So….um….yeah,” he commented awkwardly as he looked around the table for who knew what, “That‘s….unexpected.”
Dex had definitely been looking for someone to agree with him. The rest of the table, on the other hand, they seemed completely oblivious to the fact that Dex had talked at all. They all just continued to stare with shock.
Now that that was out there Felix was seriously considering just grabbing Dean and dragging him out of the café. Okay, that or grabbing Dean and making out with him a little just to make a fucking point, but mostly to pull him out of the café and away from those horrible people. Now that Dean had experienced them a little Felix was sure he would get it.
Ultimately, Felix’s moment of hesitation ended up screwing him and again, that really did make sense with his shitty fucking luck. Vee managed to remember that words were a thing, which in and of itself sucked. Vee was so much more tolerable when she was fucking quiet. But she spoke with what sounded like disgust, which made it so much worse. “Excuse me?”
“Dean’s my boyfriend. It’s not that confusing,” Felix retorted flatly mainly because at that point he just really wanted to bother her more. There had been a few out kids at their school that Felix could remember, so it wasn’t like she wasn’t fucking familiar with the concept.
Felix kept his eyes on the table. He was determined to stare them down and make them as uncomfortable as possible because they deserved it. He didn’t have to look to feel that Dean was staring at him too. Felix could feel his eyes on him, and he could practically feel the energy rolling off him in waves.
Pointing at Dean he ordered, “And stop grinning.” In truth, Felix was happy that Dean was apparently happy that he had just outed their relationship without warning, but just knowing he was smiling at him was pretty fucking distracting.
“I’m not,” Dean denied even though Felix could clearly hear the smile in his voice.
“Yes, you are,” Felix stressed.
“Sorry, I just….,” Dean paused and hummed. Felix thought he heard a little of the uncertainty that he had heard in Dean’s voice before they had entered the café sneak back in, which was sort of the opposite of what he wanted. “I just didn’t think…um….”
Felix knew. He knew what Dean had been thinking. He knew what Dean had been worried about. He knew what Dean hadn’t been saying. Dean thought Felix cared about what Vee and Isaac and the others thought about him. He thought Felix didn’t want them to know they were a couple in case they cared or thought less of him for it. Felix was also sure that his immediate reaction to seeing them had only made Dean’s fears worse.
“Yeah, well that was stupid,” Felix declared flatly and promised himself that he and Dean would talk about this later. Dean deserved an explanation and apology, and Felix wanted to give him that.
Felix wasn’t sure what he was actually expecting, but if Felix had expected Dean to take that silently he had been very wrong. He felt Dean lean toward him seconds before Dean’s lips pressed against his cheek in an affectionate kiss. It wasn’t a long or showy thing. It lasted a couple of seconds before Dean stepped back and stated happily, “I fucking love you.”
When it was just them, they did stuff like that all the time, especially Dean. He was just a touchy person, so Felix was just used to getting a kiss on the cheek rather than a thank you or getting pulled into a hug rather than hearing hello or good morning. But since they weren’t really public in Tennessee, that wasn’t something they did in front of people often. Felix didn’t mind public displays of affection. That didn’t stop all the blood from rushing to his face and his cheeks from starting to burn.
“I love you too,” he managed to get out without sounding sheepish. Felix had a rule when it came to ‘I love you’ ever since he and Dean had gotten back together. He always said it back, no matter what. He meant it, and Dean deserved to hear it as often as possible.
Felix had no control over the fact that he was blushing. He might not have been embarrassed or ashamed of his feeling for Dean, but he still wasn’t used to saying things like that in front of other people. He liked it in a weird way. He wished he could do that back home where it really mattered.
Obviously, Felix had been distracted by his own thoughts and Dean, because he pretty much had forgotten the people around the table even existed. Trying to gauge their reactions or even caring about them was just completely beyond him.
It was Vee’s aggressively insistent voice that pulled Felix from much happier thoughts. “No,” she asserted.
Felix looked back at the people sitting around the table. For the most part what he saw was what he expected: a bunch of shocked faces. Vee was the one exception. She was glaring and her arms were pulled over her chest in a show of defiance. It was so far from any sort of reaction he had been expecting, Felix honestly didn’t know what to think let alone say.
“Um,” he hummed confused, “No what?”
“No,” Vee reiterated as she shook her head like a stubborn five-year-old, “You’re not gay.”
Wow, that was just so ridiculous and also so very Vee. Felix was a little disappointed in himself for not seeing the over the top reaction coming. Vee prided herself on knowing everything about everyone because she was just so perceptive and in tune with people. The idea that Felix had this whole thing about him that she didn’t know probably killed her. Add to that Vee never could handle anyone taking attention away from her for any reason, and Felix was sure she was practically dying inside.
Vee’s reaction pretty much summarized all the reasons Felix couldn’t understand how he ever dated her. He didn’t really attempt to hide his contempt either because he had done that for years, and he was officially past doing that sort of thing. “Last time I checked my sexuality isn’t up for a fucking vote,” he declared dismissively.
“We dated,” She pointed out like that point alone proved something beyond Felix’s past bad taste, “I would know if you were gay.”
Felix could have pointed out that he wasn’t actually gay. He could have explained that he was bisexual, and the assumption that he was gay just because he was in a relationship with a guy was actually pretty offensive, but there wasn’t a point. Vee wasn’t going to really hear it, and Felix really didn’t care if she did. Instead, Felix kept his cool and tried a different approach. “Vee, what’s my favorite color? Or movie?” he asked seriously because he knew Vee didn’t know a singular answer. Vee struggled to focus on other people unless it benefited her in some way. “How do I take my coffee?”
Vee’s mouth tightened, and her glare intensified as she said nothing. Felix wasn’t expecting answers because that was the point he was making, but he still got some. The fact that he got his answers from Dean proved a whole other point. “Blue, The Matrix, and no sugar extra cream” Dean listed quickly and with certainty.
When Felix turned to look at Dean it was obvious that he had been ticking off the answers on his fingers like facts for a history test. Dean had been right about every single one, which was both incredibly sweet, and not at all surprising.
He sort of wanted to kiss Dean’s face for being so fucking adorable, but it just wasn’t the time. Instead, he pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed in an attempt to cover how badly he wanted to grin. “It wasn’t a quiz,” he pointed out.
“So you say,” Dean dismissed. God, Felix could hear how proud Dean was in himself in his voice. “But if it was, I aced it.”
Felix looked at Dean with an affectionate sort of bewilderment. Dean just grinned back at him like he had won something. Felix turned back to Vee and explained, “We might have dated, but you never knew shit about me.”
The point was made, and Felix knew it had really hit home when he saw the anger flare up in Vee’s eyes. He hadn’t realized how much he wanted to tell Vee off and rub her nose in just how happy he was, and how much better Dean was than she had ever been until that moment. It was so satisfying.
At the same time, Felix prepared himself for the worst. Vee was the fucking queen of the mean girls, and she wasn’t going to take any kind of insult quietly. He could practically see her formulating the nastiest most hate-filled insult she could come up with and wondered if he could just run an end pass around the whole thing by taking Dean’s hand and leaving before she could say anything.
Bolting ended up being an unnecessary tactic because that was the moment Alley decided to sashay in like a flustered tornado made up of sentient shopping bags. Felix honestly couldn’t think of a time where the saying ‘better late than never’ was more than relevant.
“Okay, okay I know I’m late,” Alley started. Knowing his sister, she had probably been practicing her excuses as she hit two or three more stores. Based on the sheer number of bags she was carrying she probably had bought something from every store on Church street, so it would have been believable.
She stopped rather suddenly and looked around the table for a second and apparently forgot she was in the middle of giving some bullshit excuse. “Oh,” she exclaimed, “And apparently I missed something important.”
Felix almost laughed because that had to be the understatement of the century. “What gave you that impression?” he questioned flatly.
“The general waves of hostility and confusion,” Alley replied dryly.
Dean kept saying that Alley talked a lot like Felix, which Felix kept saying he didn’t get, but with that matter-of-fact statement, Felix actually kind of heard it. He didn’t like it, but he heard it.
Apparently done with Felix, Alley looked to Dean before asking, “So, what did I miss?”
There were times when the fact that Dean and Alley had bonded was kind of cute and then there were times that it was very annoying. This wasn’t quite as bad as Alley telling Felix to ‘marry him’ six times a day, but it was up there.
Dean for his part just gave an uncertain look around before humming, “Um?”
Vee gave an overdramatic huff in Vee’s patented way of both communicating her absolute disapproval while also absolutely demanding everyone’s attention. “Your brother…I don’t even know what his end goal is,” Vee declared. Felix had never noticed it when they were dating, but Vee got extra Valley Girl sounding when she was pissed off. It wasn’t a very flattering characteristic. Actually, it was a little annoying. Felix was surprised he never noticed it before. “But he is taking whatever it is way too far.”
Alley looked at Felix for a second before turning to look at Vee. “That doesn’t really clear things up,” She admitted.
Felix sighed and rolled his eyes to show just how over this whole situation he really was. It was both nothing like he expected and was somehow worse. “Vee is currently refusing to believe that Dean and I are dating,” Felix explained.
“Oh my god!” Alley exclaimed so loudly it hurt Felix’s ears. He actually winced from it. And if that wasn’t dramatic enough, she literally dropped the absurd number of bags she was carrying before she added even more loudly, “We’re telling people!!!! I didn’t know I could tell people!”
“That’s what you just focused in on? Really?” Felix shouted back. That seemed like the least important thing out of what he had just said. Also, he didn’t get why that mattered to her at all.
“Yes!” Alley exclaimed, “I’ve been stressing about how to explain-” she gestured between Dean and Felix dramatically as she spoke, “-this.”
How had things gotten so off track? Felix had no fucking idea, but it was literally giving him a headache. He pinched his nose and closed his eyes in hopes of finding some relief but failed. “What does that even mean?” he questioned completely exasperated.
“It means you two are touching constantly,” Alley explained. She sounded equally exasperated which was completely unwarranted. “Like seriously, neither of you can keep your hands to yourselves.”
Felix had heard that before, and he guessed he and Dean did tend to touch more than two guys normally did, but he doubted it was that much. People just fucking liked to exaggerate about it for some reason. The fact that Felix heard Dean chuckle quietly didn’t help matters any.
Felix could have just let it go but he wasn’t really in that mood. “Why does everyone say that?” he asked sharply.
“Because it’s true,” Alley replied without missing a bit in the most dismissive tone Felix ever heard, “You’re supposed to be smart.”
“This is for real?” Vee's voice cut through the obnoxious sibling moment. Honestly, Felix had both forgotten she was there but was also impressed that she had let the attention be off her for so long. Her voice was somewhere between shock and disgust as she continued to talk, “Felix isn’t just making this up to get back at me?”
Oh, there was so much to respond to there. There was the fact that she thought Felix still cared about her enough to want some sort of revenge. He had thought he had been pretty clear when he had seen her during Spring Break, but maybe her ego hadn’t let her really hear it. Even if Felix did still care that much the idea that he would lie not only about being in a relationship but also about being in a relationship with a guy seemed so extreme it was fucking insane.
Felix was completely bewildered by the thought process that would allow her to think that was in the realm of possibility, and he was sure it showed on his face as he asked, “Why would I lie about that?”
“Um…He does have a point there,” Dex interjected in a timid way.
Felix knew Dex would probably pay for that from Vee and Isaac for days. He couldn’t help but appreciate Dex putting his neck out there even if he seemed so nervous as he did it.
“Straight guys really wouldn’t lie about that,” Dex pointed out.
Felix was so far from that way of thinking and had been for long enough that he hadn’t even thought about that, but Dex had a really good point. Most straight guys were just so concerned about making sure people absolutely knew they were one hundred percent straight.
Dex’s punishment was apparently going to start immediately if Vee’s hate-filled glare was any indication. “Shut up, Dexter!” Vee hissed with an impressive level of venom in her tone.
It was funny because Felix had walked into the situation knowing it was going to be unpleasant, so he thought he was prepared for it. Prepared or not, he had already reached his limit and he couldn’t think of one good reason why he should stay and try to put up with any of it for one second longer.
“You know what? This whole fucking thing is giving me a fucking headache,” he declared. At this point, he was talking more to the void rather than anyone in particular. He looked to Dean who had seriously taken his already impressive boyfriend skills to a whole new level just tolerating this whole scene with such patience and grace. “You have your coffee,” he pointed out because Felix had promised Dean coffee, so it mattered that he got it, “So we can fucking leave.”
Felix was already turning on his heels with every intent on storming out like an overdramatic pre-teen when he heard his sister huff. “What if I wanted a coffee?”
“You should have been here on fucking time,” Felix answered without sympathy. “Pick up your shit so we can go,” he ordered as he pointed toward the bags that surrounded his sister’s feet. He started to move again but thought better of it and turned back to his sister with a serious look. “And before you ask, no, Dean will not help you carry anything,” he stated forcefully because he knew she would ask, and Dean was too southern to tell her no like he should, “If you didn’t want to carry it, you shouldn’t have boughten it.”
“I really don’t mind,” Dean commented. Of course, he didn’t mind. He was Dean, and he was an amazing person that way. Felix gave Dean a look because at this point it was about the principle of the thing, and Dean seemed to get that just from the look. He bowed his head a little and held out his hand slightly in a show of surrender, “But you’re making a point.”
“It’s been seeing you, I fucking guess,” Felix told the table with an unenthusiastic wave. It was far from a good-bye, but it was better than telling them all to go fuck themselves like he really wanted to, so they would just have to deal with it.
Without any more discussion, Felix turned his back on the people he once called friends and left with Dean and Alley half a step behind him. Felix couldn’t really explain why, but he didn’t feel like he could really breathe until he was sitting behind the steering wheel of what had once been his car.
As Alley loaded her absurd number of bags into the back, Dean slid into the car’s front passenger seat. Of course, Felix’s former car was a SUV, so it was the only kind of vehicle that had a more imposing center console than Dean’s Civic. It was really fucking obnoxious because Felix would have liked if Dean could sit close to him.
Dean pulled his door close, took one look at him, and instead of making a comment about how he could drive like he normally would he asked, “You okay?”
Felix looked over at Dean and could see the concern written all over his face.
Fuck.
Felix sighed and looked forward because that was just so much easier. “Not fucking really,” he admitted heavily.
He saw Dean’s hand reach out seconds before it covered his own on the steering wheel. “I’m sorry,” Dean stated softly in a voice filled with such empathy.
Dean’s voice, his touch, and everything about his presence were infinitely comforting while still being extremely confusing. “Why are you sorry?” Felix questioned as he turned to look at Dean so Dean could fully see how fucking confused he truly was by the thought, “You shouldn’t be sorry. Dean, you shouldn’t have had to deal with any of that bullshit.”
Dean’s gaze became downcast and his voice managed to get softer as he spoke, “I just know it had to be hard for you that your friends reacted like that.”
“Friends? Dean, those people are fucking horrible, and I’m genuinely fucking embarrassed that I ever hung around them,” Felix admitted, and in hindsight, he wished he had told Dean that from the very start. It would have probably saved him a headache.
Felix took a long breath and slumped in his seat. “I’m upset about how they treated you,” he admitted because that was what really stuck with him from the whole thing. He had to groan just thinking about it. “God, Isaac was such a condescending prick, and Vee was a fucking cunt.”
Felix had barely stopped talking when he felt Dean’s lips press against his cheek. It was a brief and affectionate little kiss, but Felix still felt himself relax a little in his seat. “That statement had a lot of curse words for something so sweet,” Dean stated with amusement as he leaned back into his own seat. “Felix, I used to hang out with Eric, and I dated Promise,” he reminded, “I can handle Isaac and Vee’s bullshit.”
“Ahhh, Isaac is an asshole and Vee is a total bitch,” Alley butt into their conversation as she finally climbed into the backseat of the SUV. She pulled her door shut way too hard as usual and Felix had to remind himself it wasn’t his car anymore so he shouldn’t care. “Luckily, Felix’s taste has improved drastically with the move,” Alley added happily.
She wasn’t wrong, but Felix was pretty sure she didn’t need to say it out loud like that. “Thanks, Alley,” he called back to her flatly because he wasn’t all that appreciative of the comment.
“Don’t know why you’re in such a mood,” Alley dismissed as she moved in the backseat so that Felix could clearly see her in the rearview, no doubt so she could better interrupt any conversation he and Dean tried to have. “You totally got to show them how much you won that breakup,” she declared with way more certainty than she had any right to have, “Treat it like the victory it is.”
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raphavarrane · 5 years
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fluff alphabet (marco asensio)
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A - Arguments (What they are like after an argument...)
marco is quite stubborn but not in an egotistical way. he never likes being the reason that you’re stressed or upset but at the same time, he struggles to initially realise what he’s done wrong. so after an argument, he’d pull you into a hug and apologise quickly, whispering the sweetest of words into your ear.
if the argument was really bad and tempers started to flair, marco would give you time to gather your thoughts before trying to reconcile with you.
B - Body care (What they do to look after you...)
weekly baths. usually, it ends with nothing sexual. it’s the only time where both of you can be calm and just enjoy each other’s company without having to worry about anything else. marco’s tense body finally relaxes in the warm water and feeling your fingers coarsing through his hair is enough.
C - Cuddles (How good are their cuddles...)
marco usually keeps one hand around your waist so that he can eaisly pull you into a hug whenever he’s missed your body up against his. when it’s just the two of you, he doesn’t mind being the little spoon and feeling your frame keeping him warm.
D - Dream (What's the dream for you as a couple...)
one day marco would love to call you ‘his’. officially. he wants to put a ring on your finger and show you off to anyone & everyone he sees. but the real dream for marco is to create a human life that has your eyes and smile.
E - Emotion (How emotional they are...)
marco tries (and always fails) to hide his emotions. he doesn’t want to burden you; he’s not always around and he doesn’t want to drop the mood when you guys finally have some time together. but when it all becomes too much, marco gives in and puts his head on your shoulder and lets it all out.
F - Family (What do your family think of them...)
your father adores marco; they go to watch football games together whenever marco’s in town and go hang out at your father’s favourite bar. your mother however, is a bit apprehensive around marco because of his career choice but eventually, she fell for that famous smile just like you.
if you have any brothers or sisters, marco would go meet on with them like a house on fire, seeing it as an excuse to learn some funny things about you that he could eventually use against you.
G - Giving (Are they generous...)
he loves giving you trinkets from other cities he’d been to due to his travels! fridge magnets from england, sweets from germany and fancy lingerie from paris from time to time
H - Happy (When they're at their happiest...)
when he’s on the pitch, feeling the air around and the ball at his feet. he loves his job and hopes it’ll last forever. he’s also happy when you’re around; you’re that extra push he needs to do his best. to him, nothing else matters except your happiness.
I - Independence (How much they rely on you...)
marco relies on you for the small things: emotionally support, good food and kisses. sometimes you don’t even have to speak, you’ve both been able to communicate without having to talk.
J - Jokes (The jokes they tell...)
his jokes are like a school child’s, childish humour that isco would expect his little boy to say. marco’s joke are either short and hilarious or long and boring. but everyone laughs nonetheless.
K - Kids (How they are around children...)
when he first met your nephew, you could’ve sworn you watched marco’s heart melt. those brown eyes couldn’t keep their eyes off him. he loves meeting children and can’t wait to have his own little’uns running circles around him.
L - Love (What they love most about you...)
he loves your body. marco’s a very handy person and just can’t stop himself from grabbing onto something just to bring you close to him, even if it’s your waist. he loves the feeling of your warm skin against his.
M - Mystery (How open/honest they are...)
marco is very honest with his emotions; he doesn’t like to bottle things in and doesnt minding sitting down to have a deep chat with you about anything that worries you or him.
N - Nicknames (What's they're nickname for you...)
‘princesa’ is marco’s favourite thing to call you. at first it was a joke, established after the first time he saw you on your period, but now, it’s grown on both of you.
O - Optional (Something random...)
one of things you and marco love to do together is karaoke. most of the time, it’s just to have an excuse to sing a great song terribly but you can’t help but smile like an idiot when marco sings a romantic ballad directed at you.
P - Presents (What they like to buy for you...)
marco loves to buy you presents! from the generic teddy bear to clothes you begged him not to get you because they were too expensive. he loves to see the smile grow on your face and if he could, marco would bottle the moment and save it forever.
Q - Quantity (How long until something takes place in your relationship...)
your first kiss happened on the third date. it was soft and light, filled with smiles and giggles. you moved in with each other after dating for a year. your first time together however, happened a long time after that but marco was willing to wait. he’d do anything for you.
R - Romance (How romantic are they...)
marco isn’t an intentional romantic. he does romantic things without actually putting much thought into it. he was always brought up to buy flowers, cook dinner, and throw compliments like it’s the norm.
S - Spark (How the spark stays alive in your relationship...)
one word. spontaneity. from late night drives so you can watch the sunrise to mini road trips. marco is unpredictable when it comes to date nights but you live for it.
T -  Trust (How trusting they are...)
marco isn’t that trusting. in his career, he feels like he is constantly surrounded by ‘fake people’ so it took him a long time to become comfortable around you. he hasn’t told you his deepest secrets yet but it’s a start.
U - Upset (How they cheer you up...)
marco would grab the closest speaker and start dancing around. he’s knows his dancing is more comical than professional but he’ll do anything to put a smile on your face.
V - Victory (How they feel about you...)
he feels like he’s won the lottery. he adores every part of you and he’s here for the long term; through the bad times and the good. marco couldn’t imagine going through life without anyone else by his side.
W - Wind Up (What they do that annoys you...)
he forgets things. sometimes they’re important, and sometimes it’s not that bad, but it still bugs you none the less. marco would forget to do his share of chores and still be confused why the laundry basket. the spaniard has to be told by his teammates when it’s your anniversary to make sure he doesn’t lose his head.
X - xxx (How good are their kisses...)
marco likes to take one side of your face and tilt it so that you don’t headbutt each other. he likes to lightly bite onto your bottom lip before working his magic on your neck.
Y - Yummy (Can they cook...)
marco loves to cook for you! his mother taught him some of her most iconic meals for the moment he gets a girlfriend. now you can say you’re lucky enough to eat traditional asensio family food.
Z - Zzz (How the two of you like to sleep...)
marco lays on his back with your head resting on his chest. he has one hand making circles on your stomach and the other outstretched. however underneath the sheets, you feet are entangled together. at first glance, it’s a very conventional couple sleeping position. but you guys are anything but conventional.
[please let me know if you would like more of these with different footballers!]
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moiraineswife · 7 years
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(okay i’ve been asked basically every number for the salt asks so I’m just going to answer them all here (for acotar, with some ToGs where requested. U can send more for other fandoms but this just seems easier than answering 6 separate asks soooo) 
Under a cut for length 
1)- What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*
answered. 
2)- Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?*
Azlain, which I think I’ve mentioned before. I’m pretty sure that’s the only popular one, I ship everything else. 
3)- Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?
Errmm, if they tag things properly and I can avoid them then no? But if they don’t and they just flood my dash with it I have just....Nope I love myself too much for this haha. 
4)- Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?*
I suppose Elr*el is the closest thing I have to a notp? Which is quite sad because I adore them both and they have a really sweet relationship I just...Can’t with the fandom. 
5)- Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*
See above. 
6)- *Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?*
Hmmmmm. No I don’t think so actually?? I don’t actually really hate anything pairing wise, except...the above and feyl*n but...fandom doesn’t really push for them so? I don’t think there was anything in ToG either, I either always liked it or always hated it and never changed? 
7)- Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?*
Errmmmm. Can I say Nesta’s relationship with her father?? This isn’t a fandom thing but like...I have some massive, massive issues with the way ACOWAR ended for that. He neglected them for years; he let her mother die and did nothing, she had every right to hate him and be furious with him. He pushed a young teenage girl into wanting to starve herself just to see if he might actually try and do something to stop that from happening. The emotional guilt-trip at the end for Nesta where her father dies is just...Gross, honestly. If Nesta’s arc is learning to be softer and more loving and warm because she regrets how she treated her father all those years because she realises that he ~truly did love her~ I will burn this world to the ground because no. 
Also, Mor’s entire....Everything. (Not HER but her storyline/narrative arc is just. I can’t) 
8)- Have you received anon hate? What about?*
I don’t think so?? I’ve had people disagree with me and argue with me a bit and stuff but I don’t think I’ve ever classed anything as just empty hate??  9)- Most disliked character(s)? Why?
answered, somewhere.  10)-*Most disliked arc? Why?
Answered for ACOTAR. 
For ToG...Actually I think I might say Dorian’s. And also Manon’s. Dorian got seriously fucked over in E0S I think? I think everyone was expecting him to sort of, struggle to rule his people and take over from his father and then it just sort of...Oops your kingdom is gone just like that, we’re not going to fight for it or anything because we need you to join adventure squad. It just felt overly convenient if I’m being generous and flat out lazy if I’m not.  11)- Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?
answered.  12)- Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?
In ACOTAR I don’t think so? (Unless you count Nesta’s ACOTAR arc. I think Claire mentioned this earlier and I agree, I thought it was well done and considered her ‘redeemed’ or rather ‘properly understood’ by the middle of ACOTAR but most people still wanted her to apologise or whatever. Though apparently Eris doesn’t need to apologise for abusing Mor or Lucien he just has to say she ~doesn’t understand~ and we all leap all over him to give him a second chance. What a delightful double standard. 
In ToG: Chaol’s. This is one of the rare things I’ll argue with fandom about. (Though it is highly dependent on how ToD plays out) but I liked his QoS storyline, I liked the way it ended, I liked what it potentially sets up for his character and I think the decision to cut him out of EoS was the right one because geographically, tonally, in pretty much every which way - it doesn’t fit.  13)- *Unpopular opinion about XXX character?
someone actually asked for this one so please message me again with characters and I’ll answer them separately!  14)- Unpopular opinion about your fandom?
answered (I think I’ve fucked up the numbering somehow but ACH WELL)  15)- Unpopular opinion about the manga/show?
I mean..There are a fair few flying around?? Mostly ACOWAR related, most of them Mor related (though I’m not sure if that’s unpopular, fandom seems to be at a kind of 50/50 split with this)  16)- If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?
answered. 
17)- Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…
Mor is not closeted and miserable af. She is happily out to her Inner Circle family who love and support her and help protect the knowledge from Keir (Rhys and his family hid an entire fucking CITY from the entire world for 5,000 years, you’re telling me he couldn’t have found a way to keep Keir and co from ever learning about Mor’s sexuality?) Mor has an adorable girlfriend, Moriel has only ever been platonic since they were teenagers, she Cass and Az still deeply love each other but everyone is happy and comfortable and safe in the relationship. All is well.  18)- Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?
No??? Or at least not for me. I think there’s a misconception (at least in this fandom) about what the intention of shipping is (or at least why I (and most of the people I know)) do it. I’m not placing bets on what I think is going to be canon? I’m not arguing that this ship is more valid than that one/more likely to happen. I’m saying that this dynamic intrigues me. I want to explore it. I want to create content for it. I want to read canon content for it, even if it’s just a random conversation that takes place over two pages and that’s it. I don’t ship based on what will happen, or even sometimes what I’d like to happen, I ship because it interests me. And if something doesn’t interest me or sink its claws into my imagination it doesn’t matter if it’s popular and it doesn’t make me in denial or biased it just...makes me not interested?? 
19)- What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?
answered  20)- What is the purest ship in the fandom?
I agree with Claire, Mor/Elain is so Good and Pure. Also (platonic) Nesta/Azriel, I love that thing. Actually platonic Azriel/anyone really, it’s just Good.  21)- What are your thoughts on crack ships?
G I M M E  22)- *Popular character you hate?
ACOTAR - we are not going through this again. 
ToG- errmmm....None of them? I’m not a fan of Lorcan but that’s largely in the context of E/orcan I don’t technically mind him on his own, he’s interesting, and completely and utterly fucked up which is also interesting...He just isn’t good enough for my darling Slytherin witchling but that’s the only big problem I have.  23)- Unpopular character you love?
answered (for both)  24)- Would you recommend XXX to a friend? Why or why not?
ACOTAR - yes if they stop reading after ACOMAF and just...invent their own ending for the series. Or...Look ACOWAR was a goddamn mess I have to do some musing on whether it’s worth it as a whole for ACOMAF. If i ever did recommend it’d be with a heaping shovel-full of salt and some warnings.  25)- How would you end XXX/Would you change the ending of XXX?
ACOTAR - OOH. INTERESTING. I actually don’t mind the open-ending? I was anticipating it. ACOWAR has been set up for a while now as the conclusion to Feyre and Rhys’ story and the conclusion of their story only. I don’t mind that the others were unfinished because they were never meant to be. 
I think I might liked for more to have actually changed though? I mean.We had this huge near-world ending war and...Everyone just kinda went back to their day jobs as though it was a few months long nightmare and that was it? I’d have liked it to be a bit more radical and lasting and to actually mean something. There didn’t really feel like that many consequences on the whole, idk, that made it feel a bit flat.   26)- Most shippable character?
Most of them tbh. But I agree with Claire on this one too, every Lucien ship is Good, very, very, very Good. Give me them all.  27)- *Least shippable character?
I’m usually happy to leave Feyre and Rhys to their own devices. But apart from them I really struggle with Az? Like I have tried to nudge him into other ships, believe me I’ve tried, but he’s having none of it. 
For ToG....I’m not sure?? I haven’t really crackshipped as much but maybe Lysandra? I don’t really want her with anyone at the moment
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