#writing that much for one week alr had me losing sleep

[mshroom1e]

Hello! It's my first time requesting but I loved ur azul fic omg. Can I please have azul x gn! Reader where azul maybe comforts the reader because they can see they're really tired and always sleeping in and just not feeling all that great mentally. (Depression episode I suppose) if you dont want to write something depressing that's alr! Then maybe just like headcanons of napping with azul u can make it crack if u want I dont mind. Whatever ur comfortable with! If u like neither feel free to not do this request that's alr. Thank you :) have a good day and week ♡

Hello, thank you so much for the request!! I'm sorry it took so long for me to answer but I hope you enjoy it. I really liked writing the hcs stuff and can't wait to do more of them in the future. Finally, I hope I did well portraying how Yuu feels throughout this.

type: fanfic/hcs

Summary: Yuu hasn't been feeling the best and Azul tries his best to help with feeling better. Comfort, followed by some headcanons.

1.3k words

tags: reader receiving comfort, fluff

Warning(s): Depressive Episode

Life at NRC was rough. Everything went as swimmingly as a house on fire and you were completely drained. Exhausted.

Getting out of bed was much more of a hassle than it should've been. You were constantly exhausted, already having had enough of the day despite it just being started. No matter how much you tried, your body wouldn't cooperate and just flop back onto the bed. You were late to class on most mornings, and on the days you did manage to make it on time, you were in a vicious battle with sleep and always seemed to lose. The persistent tiredness and overall low mood made you feel, to put it plainly, like absolute shit.

On one particular morning, you couldn't find it in yourself to get out of bed. Virtually, you had given up. All that was left of your little remaining willpower diminished. Dissipated.

Azul noticed the lack of your presence instantly. He usually passed by you in hallways before class, always smiling at you or greeting you as you crossed paths. It was unusual to never see you at all during the day. He realised your worsening mental and physical conditions a few days before you didn't show up at school, but thought it was just him seeing it as no one else he asked seemed to notice at all. He was extremely worried, but for the life of him, he couldn't think of what to do to help you in any good way.

Concern for you became full-fledged worry as you were nowhere to be seen at the Mostro Lounge. About a week prior, you promised Azul that you would meet up with him at the lounge to spend some time together once it closed as you were both too busy to see each other during the day. At first, he thought it was just a simple case of being stood up on a date, but something inside him told him it was something more than that. Something he needed to help with.

So that's why Azul found himself in front of the rickety Ramshacke dorm, a bag of bits and bobs in tow, all gathered to make you feel better. The outside door was unlocked, which made sense as it was still during the day. He let himself into the dorm's entrance, greeting the air as he entered.

"Pardon the intrusion..." Azul gently pushed your bedroom door with his foot, arms full of all the items he brought in the hopes of making you feel better.

He carried mostly snacks, medicine, in case you were sick, blankets, a few oversized clothes since he knew how much you loved wearing them, and other things he thought you might need.

The human-sized lump under the covers of your bed was enough to tell Azul where you had been the whole day. His shoulders slumped as he set down the bags and carefully approached you.

You lay on your side, face almost completely covered by your blanket. You weren't even able to muster the strength to greet Azul when he walked into the room as you stared straight ahead, eyes glazed over and staring at nothing.

"Yuu?" He called out your name and placed himself on a spot next to you on the medium sized bed, the mattress slowly dipping under the new mass on top of it.

If Azul was being completely honest with himself, he had no idea what to do. He was so used to only relating with the majority of his peers due to his deals and other shady business that he gained such little emotional intelligence.

When you didn't reply, he settled for placing a hand on where he assumed your shoulder was, as if to let his prescence be known by you and for you to know that you weren't alone anymore.

Azul sat with you for a few minutes before you reached out of the blanket bundle and softly wrapped your hands around his torso, pulling him towards you in some sort of awkward hug. His eyes widened a fraction before he relaxed and allowed you to hold him.

There was a little more awkward shuffling before you ended up with your head on his shoulder and hands clutching onto the back of his uniform tightly. He leaned back onto the headboard and let your body weight rest on himself. He figured he would just wait until you were happy enough to start talking, so he slowly rubbed circles on your back as he felt his shoulder become damp.

Your silent tears became sniffles and sobs as you could finally release all the emotional constipation you felt. As you cried, you practically latched onto Azul like a koala, hugging him as you imagined Floyd would "squeeze" people.

His body was more cool than warm. Frequent hugs and touches with Azul taught you that his body didn't regulate its own heat at all, meaning he was always cold to the touch and today was no exception. Despite the chilling cold, he was still comfortable to lean against. His lack of warmth was made up by your own.

After your sobs and sniffles reduced, you pulled away from Azul, your face a few inches away from his and your eyes looking to the side.

"I'm sorry..." you started, "about all this."

Azul's eyes softened. He felt something inside him sting at the state you were in. To him, you were a beacon of light. Your presence was enough to give him a reason to keep going. Always managing to shine brightly despite whatever life threw at you. But no pillar lasts forever. Even the most formidable were due to crumble sooner or later. However, it can remain standing and in good condition when taken care of and supported in the correct way. And that was exactly what Azul was going to do.

He may not have the best way with words outside his deals and shady transactions, but he knew he could support you by listening and doing his best to take care of you until you were able to pick yourself back up and continue being as brilliant as you always were.

Azul would be so awkward but try his best when comforting someone.

Awkward back pats all the way

I imagine that he wouldn't say much, but his comforting actions are enough to make his s/o feel a lot better.

Definitely cancells whatever he's doing to make time to spend with you.

He'd have a list somewhere of all the things you like. From your favourite snacks to what takes your mind off things the most.

He wouldn't blatantly ask about your likes though, he'd probably watch the way you interact with things for a while and then ask you if you like those certain things.

Speaking of his list, he has a cute notebook dedicated to you since studying is what he does best.

He would use his cooking skills to make your favourite comfort dish.

Would smile genuinely when you compliment his cooking but would try to hide it behind smirking while adjusting his glasses, like he usually does.

Once you're done eating, you would play board games together and watch your eyes light up with a huge dopey smile on his face.

He'd maybe lose on purpose just to see you cheer up after gaining a victory. He might do that once in a while but don't expect him to always go easy on you, especially when you notice him letting you win or if you love competition.

Sucks at acting so you can definitely tell when he's pretending to lose

Is pretty good at hugs

His body feels cold to the touch, because octopus, but its a comforting kind of cold he radiates.

If you're shorter, he places his head on top of yours when you lean against him and if you're taller, you rest your head on his shoulder or he rests his head on yours.

"You have absolutely nothing to apogise for. You deserve so much for all that you've done and I wish that whatever appreciation that others don't show you, you should be the one to show yourself."

#gn reader #twisted wonderland #twst fanfic #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #azul x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul twisted wonderland #azul twst #twst hcs #twst #twst azul #azul ashengrotto #fanfic

[saintobio]

pls don’t send me shit like this i’m ????

#did i not just say that i’m finishing it up #some of u rly take my kindness for granted that i even have to apologize for wanting some rest #the next chapter is 12k words #writing that much for one week alr had me losing sleep #i’m so speechless rn 🥲 #how about i don’t update for another week

[a-katsukitty]

katsuki bakugo x reader

WARNING : ALL CHARACTHERS ARE AGED UP! oral [fem receiving] , alchool and cigaret.

A/N : Ohayoo , this is my first fanfic. I apologize for any mistakes [be gentle with me plz] hope you will like it!

"Come on dude it will be fun!"

"I said no! How many fucking time do I need to tell you?" Katsuki glaces over Kaminari who's been trying to get his friend for his birthday. "Bakugo, you can't eat pizza playing games on your 20th birthday!" he says placing himself between the blond man and the tv.

"You're fucking annoying you know that" Bakugo paused his game putting down the controler. "My sister is mixing, I swear you will have fun!" looking down his face lights up as his friend nods running one hand in his blond hair. "Give me 1 hour! And don't make me wait or I blow your face , all of you!" he says getting up going up to his room not paying attention of kaminari thanking hima million times.

1 hour to shower and put on some decent clothes , nothing too fancy a pair of black jean, a white shirt thigh around his muscular shoulder and arms , carefully left three buttons open revealing his collarbone , three perfume pumps and he made his way downstairs.

Denki park in front of the nightclub. A huge neon writes Dimension. pressing his finger on his favorite contact on the digital dashboard. "Oh Kami! How you doing cutie" your voice resonates inside the car as your brother blushes "Ai! Don't call me like this I'm not alone!" Mina chuckles on the passenger side. "Oh so you friend decided to come! Wait, what is it again? Baki.. Bak-" you're cut by an angry katsuki "OI! IT'S BAKUGO" he says slamming his wrist on the seat in front of him making Kaminari jump. "Oh yeah Bakugo! Well it's my turn to mix cutie, put everything on me" and with this you hang up. "Okay let's go!"

Denki was used to come often to see you, having a drink always waiting sleeping at your house since you were living on top of the nightclub. His drink were free since they knew he was your brother. Everyone knows him. You started to work here two years ago, you loved everything about night life, you had fun , free drinks and a good salary.

They made their way inside as the music get louder but Denki knew you haven't start yet , it's not your style of music. They take a sit in the VIP lounge beside the scene. They ordered drinks after fighting to know who were going to sip on soda all night and Sero took the responsability.

You step on scene talking with the current dj , plugging your mixing board moving your hip to the music.

"Oh! Hey Bakugo are you listening?" Kirishima waves a hand in front of Katsuki's face who is staring at something in the distance making him come to his senses. "hm.. what?" he shakes his head "here" he said handing him his glass of whiskey. He takes a sip on his glass before leaning to talk to Denki "So this is your sister?" he asks pointing his glass in your direction as your wave to them "Yes, well actually it's my twin sister" he replied waving back.

Bakugo leaned back on the leathered couch watching you as you play your first music. He couldn't take his eyes off you, he couldn't believe how good you were looking, his eyes stopped on your hips shaking from side to side, how your boobies were bouncing evertime you were jumping to the beat. Your long blonde hair swiping on your ass made him bite on his lower lip.

He was never very interested in girls , never hanging out. There was no lack of opportunities but he always refused, stating that he had no time to start a relationship but there you were making him forget everything around him. He couldn't even think straigh everytime your were eyeing them flashing a smile to you brother.

2 hours passed as you finally step out the scene to take a break. "Ah she's finally coming" Kimi lifting his head up his phone, Mina were already up dancing with Sero that she begged to come and not leave her alone. Kirishima has already gone out to smoke a cigaret and Bakugo has waited all the time for you to come, he could see everything of you closer.

"Heyy~" You jump inside Denki's arm smiling wild. "it's been two weeks that you didn't come ,I missed your face so much" you says pinching his cheeks "Hey y/n , I-I missed y-you too" he replied escaping from your grip. You turn your gaze to his friend who was already giving you his full attention "Hi!" you turn around the table sitting behind him leaning closer speaking louder as the music drowned out the sound of your voice. Your perfume reachs his nostrils, it's sweet and flowery. Probably cherry blossoms, or lilac.

"So you are the birthday boy!" He only nods "Well happy birthday! I'm y/n Kaminari nice to meet you" you extend your hand to him which he gladly shakes. "I'm coming back!" You look up at your sibling showing you his cigaret and you nod before lifting your hand to the barman who knew exatly what you were taking. "Mina and Sero talked a lot about you!" You lean back looking at the blond boy sitting beside you. "What? You know them?" he looks at you blank "Well , yeah Denki is otfen coming with them and there is Eij' too" his eyes opens wide at the nickname , only his closes friends were calling him Eij' "How the fuck do I not know you yet if you know everyone"

"Because you never

back up sighing in relief and facing the man in front of you "I'm free tomorrow night." you look up try to catch his eyes as you pull you dress down your ass. "no." it's harsh and cold. He lift his eyes on yours. "I'm not waiting tomorrow, we're leaving now."

wants to move your fucking ass!" You glance up to see Kirishima's coming back with your glass and sitting on your side wrapping his arm around your shoulders. " Thanks Eij' " you sit on your drink moving your body against the couch giving an opportunity to Bakugo, he gets up and give you his hand "Wanna dance?" You finish your drink in one time and stand up poking at Kiri's cheek before taking Katsuki's hand as he head you on the dancefloor.

You turn your back to him getting closer to his chest , his hand resting on your hips as they swiped from side to side to the beat like when you were mixing. He pulls you even more close moving with you , your ass making friction against his crotch. "You're making me crazy.." he said in your ears making your shivers as his breath hits the back of your neck. You leans your head on his should smirking moving your ass harder making him growls.

You knew him from a long time, the first time you saw him was on Kimi's instagram and you couldn't get over how good looking he were. Hoping he would shows up sometimes but he never cames. You never made a big deal, it's wasn't the only good looking guy you saw, but he had something you couldn't get over.

Your head spins as he places soft kisses over your neck, tightening his grips around your waist. "Let's go" you turn around meeting his eyes before being pulled away from the crowd. In a minute you were pushed inside girl's toilet as he lock them behind both of you before smacking your lips together slidding his hand at the back of your neck , tongues fighting but you lose fast. His hand went down to grip your thigh "fuck- look at how short this fucking dress is!" he tugs at the hem of your red silky dress pulling away from the kiss "turn around" he orders and you obey instantly resting your hand on the wall.

He raises your dress up your ass kneeling in front of it pulling your dripping pantie to the side and sliding a fingers between your lips making a moans escape your mouth. "Look how wet you are! Is it for me?" you open your mouth to anwser as his slides a finger inside of you making you cry with pleasure, you jump when he slams his hand at your ass "Didn't I ask you something?" he adds a second finger "y-yes all f-for y-you..!" your eyes rolls to the back of your head as he curl his fingers inside you. "Do you wanna cum doll?" you couldn't hide it even if you wanted to, nobody never made you feel like this.

"y-yes p-please Bak-" he cuts you off "It's monsieur" he takes his fingers out replacing them by his tongue sucking hardly on your clit making you arches your back "cum" it tooks only a few second before reaching your climax cuming in his mouth "you taste so fucking good, I can wait to fuck this pretty pussy of yours" he gets on his feets. you can hear his belt undone and the zip of his jeans before feeling the tip of his cock tickeling your entrance making him all wet.

"P-please" you look behind you to meet his eyes, his hand grip your neck leaning to kiss you starving for your lips "please what?" he takes his hand away from your neck petting your hair "P-please just fuck me alr- aah" he makes you chocke on your words when he slams himself into you. "fuck!" he growls "S-so thigh" he pulls your hair back arching you going deeper and deeper inside of you. "You're taking my cock so well princess!" you whine as you well your second orgasme coming fast, tears forming on the corner of your eyes "cum over my cock, come on" you can't hold back anymore, you see white and your legs becomes weak as he hit your sensitive point making you cum all over him.

You can hear him moans your name loudly as he pull out plumping himself two;three time. Cums dripping down your ass to your tight he presses kissed down your back as you try to catch your breath. "wait don't move" he says taking some paper toilet and wipping all the mess you both made. You both freeze as you hear a familiar voice. "y/n ?" Mina calls you knocking on the doors "Y-yeah I am coming!" you reply fast and you hear the door closing back as she leave.

You pulls your pantie

#bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x y/n #bakugou smut #katsuki smut #katsuki scenario #mha smut #bnha smut

[redschillzone]

Smoke and Mirrors Pt. 7 (Sith!Rey x Female!Reader)

(Gif found here!)

Pairing: Sith!Rey x Female!Reader

Word Count: 4.6k Words

Warnings: None

Summary: Months after Reader has returned to the Resistance, she waits to hear from Rey. Will it happen or will she have to learn to live without her?

Tag List: @theallseer97 @maah-sama​ @thekarliwinchester @dversstark​

A/N: The last and final part to this fic! Thank you all so much for the feedback on it and I had a blast writing it. I hope you enjoy this last part!

She couldn’t help but toss in turn in her sleep as the nightmares played before her; Vivid ones of the fight between herself and Palpatine that happened just a few months ago. Five months ago to be exact and the time since then had not been kind to her. Almost every night she had the most vivid nightmares of that day, of how quickly the fight could have changed into the Final Order’s favor if she would have stayed with them; If she would have stayed with Rey. She couldn’t help the whimper that escaped her as she gripped the blankets below her, her knuckles turning white from how hard her grip had been. She was dreaming of Rey now; The look of betrayal in her eyes from how she betrayed the Final order and her. How the reason she didn’t go with (Y/N) was because of that betrayal of not only her trust but of her love as well. (Y/N) couldn’t help the tears as they began to flow before she quickly sat up in bed, covering her mouth long before she allowed the scream to leave her shaking form. She looked around the room quickly and slowly began to relax as she realized where she was; She was on Ajan Kloss with the Resistance. Even though she told herself she didn’t have to stay with them she deemed it best until she was up on her feet again. She helped them with what she could but more times than not she was waiting for some kind of message from Rey. Anything at all to let her know that she was alive and still wanted to see her. But those days turned into weeks and those weeks into months. She truly began to wonder if Rey was really alive at all but Ben had told her when she had woken up that he offered her to come here when she felt the time was right.

“Dammit…” (Y/N) mumbled to herself as she rubbed at her (e/c) eyes, trying to rid them of the tears that still spilled from them. It was early in the morning, she could hear the birds chirping just outside the base and the distance calls of those who were well awake at this hour. Maybe it would do her best to get up and move about; Perhaps do something today. Maybe Ben needed help training the younglings or maybe Poe needed help fixing the Falcon. Regardless, she needed to find something to do. Something that would get her mind off of Rey and the nightmares she had been experiencing lately. She gave herself a low hum as she sniffled and removed herself from her bed, rubbing at her face once more before she got to her feet and made her way to the refresher. She grabbed her towel and a change of clothes with her before she entered the refresher and glanced around the small room quietly. It had everything she needed of course so she didn’t complain about it. She placed her towel and extra clothing down on the counter nearby before she went ahead and stripped herself down before she turned the refresher on once she was inside. She couldn’t help but jump at the cold water as it hit her back before she slowly began to relax as the water began to warm itself up. It didn’t take long before the warmth began to spread across her back and body; Almost soothing her muscles and clearing her senses. She took the time to clean herself, lathering up the soap between her hands before running it down her body and took extra time to care for her hair. She became so lost in what she was doing that she was sure she was in there for more than thirty minutes.

Once she was satisfied with her job she turned it off and exited the refresher, drying herself off and soon getting dressed before she left the room and began to walk about the base. She could hear the occasional conversation nearby or the occasional droid beep and whirl nearby, but she didn’t pay them too much attention. She was currently looking for Ben or Poe, looking around the base and even the hangar to see if either of them were nearby; It wasn’t until she heard the laughing of children that she knew where one of them resided. Carefully she made her way down the hill and out into the clearing that they had made to make room for a few buildings they had since constructed on the planet. The Resistance had decided to make Ajan Kloss their official bae of operations and had also decided to make it the planet where they would begin to teach a new generation of Jedi; And as (Y/N) neared closer to the school, she could hear the laughter from the children as they ran around the large, open area. She couldn’t help but smile as she came to a stop just nearby, watching as they ran around and tackled each other into the grass and laughed it off before continuing to run around.

“I honestly didn’t think I’d ever see you leave the base and come out into the sun.” Ben spoke as he made his way over, a small smile on his face as he watched (Y/N). She couldn’t help but give him a small smile as she shifted her weight, keeping her hands behind her back as she gave a small shrug. She hadn’t been out of her room for about a month after she returned and it slowly grew into just the base in general. Today was her first official day out and seeing all they had done.

“Well.. I figured maybe today I should actually do something, you know? Plus I could use a bit of sun.” She spoke, a small hint of teasing in her voice. Ben couldn’t help but pick up on it and gave a small chuckle before he nodded and moved to stand beside her as they watched the younglings run about. It was a small group at the moment, seemed to be about five from what (Y/N) could see and she couldn’t help but be jealous of their carefree and excited nature.

“It’ll be hard to find them kyber crystals for their lightsabers.. But I’m sure Poe may know some people.” Ben told her as she gave a low hum but nodded in agreement. Poe had always had a shady past and always swore she wouldn’t find out so long as he lived. Well, when she returned and was okay to seeing the others once again, Finn had informed her all about it. She was grateful that he still talked to her along with Ben, Poe, Rose, and a few others but things still felt off; And it wasn’t hard to see how. She wasn’t exactly welcomed back with open arms after all, some despised her and wished she had gone into hiding while others were grateful that she had returned to help them out with the reforming of the Resistance. She couldn’t help but give another in response to his comment before she spoke up.

“Umm.. Has anything come in yet..?” She asked, her voice going quiet as she turned her gaze up towards Ben who released a small breath of his own. She wouldn’t check in often, maybe once every two weeks but that thought that Rey may message her was always in the back of her head. She began to count down the days until she did message her; She was currently on day 152 and she couldn’t help but begin to lose hope. Maybe Rey really did want nothing to do with her; Maybe the love she thought they had was just some thing that Rey did to get (Y/N) to join her. Regardless of the reason, she just wanted to know if Rey was alive at this point, if she was doing okay wherever she may have been hiding. She just wanted a sign to know, that was all.

“No.. Sadly not yet. But I promise (Y/N) the moment we get anything I’ll send it right to you.” Ben told her, gently resting his hand on her shoulder as the female gave a sigh and nodded, moving a hand up to cover his own.

“Thanks Ben, seriously.” She spoke to which he gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze, nodding in return.

“Why don’t you help me with the morning training, huh? I’m sure they wouldn’t mind another teacher.” He offered with a smile to which she gave a nod in return, the smile returning once more to her face; It would give her time to distract herself from Rey. It would give her something to do, to keep her occupied. How could she turn down such an offer? “You know what, I would like that.” She spoke to which Ben gave a grin and called out to the younglings, watching as they all ran over and stood in front of him and (Y/N) in a neat line, some breathing heavy while one or two were still giggling with excitement and energy. (Y/N) couldn’t help but chuckle lightly at their energy; Oh how she wished she could have that energy again.

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(Y/N) couldn’t help the small chuckle that left her lips as Finn continued to tell her this random story he had suddenly remembered as the two sat in the cafeteria. Training with the younglings and Ben was exactly what she needed; It kept her mind busy till late in the afternoon. Maker, those younglings were going to be something when they turned into teenagers; Their force skills were incredible and with Ben as their teacher, she was certain they’d grow into amazing Jedi. She could understand the small fear from teaching though, as her father had once felt; It’s kind of nerve wracking to be honest, knowing that whatever you teach the child is what they’ll remember for years to come. It was all so weird to (Y/N), a new experience for her and she couldn’t thank Ben enough for it; He had even told her if she wished to return she could very well. The younglings even told her that they wished she would come back to ‘Beat Master Solo up’ as they had said when the two spared to show just how the movements were done. Even though Ben was much taller then (Y/N), she could still beat him in a match no matter how long she was away for. She snapped back from her thoughts of earlier as Finn continued to talk.

“And so Poe decided to lightspeed skip the Falcon-” He started, but sadly never finished the sentence as Poe himself walked over and slapped a hand over his mouth.

“Alright, I think that’s enough out of you.” He commented to which Finn couldn’t help but roll his eyes, causing (Y/N) to chuckle once more. It brought a smile to Poe’s face as he took a seat beside Finn and watched (Y/N) carefully.

“You holding up alright? I know it’s been awhile since you’ve been back and all.” He asked, watching as she began to pick at the food on her tray carefully. She was a picky eater; Always have been and always will be. It wasn’t her fault, some food that they got from other planets was always so.. Bland and disgusting. She gave the man a small hum and looked at him once more.

“I think I’m slowly getting there.. Just takes a bit more time, you know?” She told the two men in front of her who watched her with such care and sincerity in their eyes; They were still close friends. As to how she had no idea. I mean, she turned against them for crying out loud; Almost spilled their secrets to the First and Final Order and damn near almost killed them countless times. Yet they still welcomed her back with open arms, as if that didn’t mean a thing to them. It was strange, all of it was. It was a strange thing to know that despite what she had done, everything she had said, they threw it all behind them. Almost as if they were helping her start fresh; Start clean all over again. 

“Yeah, yeah I get you.” Poe spoke, glancing around the cafeteria a bit before looking at her once more.

“You want to help me out on fixing the Falcon? It could use a good tune up.. Plus, you look like you need something to do.” Poe offered her to which (Y/N) couldn’t help but light up a bit. Even though the Falcon did belong to Ben, Hans orders of course, it somehow ended up in Poe’s grasp from time to time. It just so happened to seem this was one of those times but as to how it ended up in his grasp, (Y/N) never found out and she thought it best she didn’t know the situation.

“I uh- Yeah, I would if you don’t mind?” She asked, tilting her head to the side. It allowed her (h/c) hair to fall a bit to the side and Poe couldn’t help but smirk and give her a nod.

“Of course I don’t mind. I need someone with an actual brain to help.. C-3PO can’t do shit and I swear if he gives me one more fact about something I may just ship him off into space myself.” Poe threatened to which Finn and (Y/N) couldn’t help but start laughing. It was a genuine laugh, she felt it in her chest as she let the sweet noise escape her throat. Not many heard it, but Poe and Finn couldn’t help the grins that spread across their faces as they heard it. They had gotten her to laugh in the past five months she had been back and they were proud of that achievement. Once she had settled down from her laugh, Poe got to his feet and gave her a smile.

“You know where the Falcon is at. I’ll meet you there.” He spoke as he went ahead and left the room, a familiar orange and white BB unit zooming past the door to catch up with Poe, beeping aggressively at the male. (Y/N) couldn’t help but shake her head and continue to eat at her food before she excused herself from the table and went after Poe. Hopefully this little tune up would last the rest if not most of the rest of the day. She needed to keep her mind busy once more as her mind began to wander back to Rey as she passed a few couples in the halls; Her stomach sinking into her gut as she got a sick feeling from it. She wished Rey was around so the two could do those things; Hold hands, whisper secrets to each other, kiss each other with such passion that it would leave the other breathless. She missed it all, but right now she had other things on her mind; And that was to fix the Falcon with Poe and BB-8.

-------------------

(Y/N) flopped back onto her bed, letting out a small yawn as she moved her hands up to rub at her eyes. She had just taken another shower after the mess she and Poe had made in the Falcon. There was oil and grease just about everywhere and the two had been cracking jokes and laughing the day away as they worked on repairing the various problems within the ship; All while BB-8 rolled around nearby and retrieved whatever the other couldn’t. It was a very nice time and the day had honestly gone amazingly; (Y/N) was shocked to say the least. It didn’t seem like a single thing had gone wrong and it made her the slightest bit suspicious. She gave a small hum as she sat up in her bed and glanced around the room quietly; The voices in her head began to get louder. She was missing Rey again; Missing the cuddling sessions the two would have in her bed whenever she was home from a mission, the lovemaking sessions they would have, the times they would just lay and talk. She was missing it all and she couldn’t help but raise her hands to rub at her eyes once more as she felt the tears welling once more. It was late in the night now and she had already eaten dinner with the others so there really was no other reason for her to be awake at this hour. (Y/N) had just gotten up and was going to get herself comfortable in her bed when the small white and green droid rolled in and began to speak to her. “Y-You are ne-needed.” D-O spoke in his broken robotic voice which caused (Y/N) to raise an eyebrow at him.

“Um.. Where am I needed?” She questioned to which the droid rolled over to her and gently bonked his head into her shin, causing her to blink a bit at the action. “M-Meeting room.” He told her before he went ahead and zoomed back out, (Y/N) following close behind him as she rushed down the halls in a pair of boots she had quickly thrown on. It was rare she was called to the meeting room, let alone at this hour of the night so something had to have been going on. The moment she was in the room, she saw her hologram and all but froze to the spot. Ben and Poe shifted their gaze to (Y/N) before they turned their heads to the hologram. It turned to face (Y/N) and had a small smile on their face.

“Hello (Y/N)...” The female voice spoke as she watched (Y/N) with teary eyes, but she knew the hologram wouldn’t show most of it. It was Rey, she was okay and talking to them right now. (Y/N) couldn’t help the few tears that ran down her face as she stepped forward, placing her hands on the console and watching her hologram closely.

“R-Rey.. You’re okay-” She choked out which caused the other female to smile wider; It was then that Ben nudged Poe’s arm and the two left the room, leaving (Y/N) alone to talk with Rey. Once they were gone, (Y/N) allowed the tears to run down her face.

“Fuck- Rey I miss you so damn much.” She spoke with a sob and Rey could feel her heart shattering as she heard her voice; It was obvious how much she had missed her and vice versa with the way her voice was shaking and breaking. Rey had missed (Y/N) with each passing day, with each passing second but she needed time away from her and everything going on within the galaxy but she had the time and she used it well. She was ready to see (Y/N) again and to start the life she promised her; One where the two of them stood side by side.

“I know baby.. But you won’t have to miss me much longer.” Rey told (Y/N) who sniffled and glanced at the hologram in confusion before Rey spoke once more.

“I’m coming to Ajan Kloss… I’ll be there by tomorrow morning.” She informed her to which (Y/N)’s eyes widened at her words. Rey was coming to them, she was coming to Ajan Kloss; She was coming home to her. 

“I.. Rey are you serious…?” She spoke, her legs shaking at the thought of being able to hold her again, being able to kiss her and love her once more. Rey couldn’t help the smile that appeared on her face as she gave a nod, moving a hand up to wipe the tears from her eyes.

“I am. We’ll be together again soon, my love.. Per say you’ll have me again that is…” She spoke, watching (Y/N) with worried eyes; As much as she was excited to see her again, she was also scared. Would she really want to have Rey back as her own? Would she really want to love her once more even though she up and left without any warning that she’d be back for her? She was unsure, but she guessed that would be answered tomorrow when she arrived. (Y/N)’s nod gave her a bit of hope as the girl spoke up.

“Yes Rey, a thousand times yes. I’ll have you back- I can’t wait to see you again, Rey..” She spoke, happy tears running down her face now. Rey couldn’t help but give a small chuckle in return.

“Then I will await our reunion tomorrow. For now, I must rest and so should you. We’ll see each other again soon, will you be okay till then?” Rey questioned to which (Y/N) couldn’t help but laugh a bit and nod.

“Yes, I think I’ll be okay, Rey. Just another day, hm?” She spoke as she moved a hand up and wiped away the tears once more; She would have Rey with her once more and the nightmares she experienced each night would fade away, she’d be able to sleep at night with her by her side or in her arms. Rey couldn’t help but nod.

“One more day.” She spoke before the hologram disappeared and (Y/N) began to relax. One more night.

-------------------

The morning couldn’t come fast enough and when it did (Y/N) was already on the move. She had gotten dressed and ate away at the food in the cafeteria which shook both Poe and Finn to the core as they watched her all but inhale at least two trays of food. They both made the comment that she needed to slow down or she’d be sick but she didn’t care, any moment now Rey would be there. Once she had eaten she went ahead and sat outside and watched the skies quietly, her attention always turned towards them as she waited to hear the familiar roar of whatever ship she would be arriving in. Every so often she couldn’t help herself but to close her eyes for a few short moments, allowing herself to daydream before her eyes snapped open once more. That must have gone on for at least a couple hours before she spotted a ship in the sky and got to her feet, watching it as it went ahead and landed nearby. It looked like a transport ship for sure but she couldn’t help it and began to make her way over. She stood nearby and watched as the ramp opened and lowered. It made a low ‘thud’ as it hit the ground and she saw a few people exit the ship, her eyes scanning each one before her breath caught in her throat as she spotted just who she was looking for; It was Rey. She had her hair up in her three messy buns as usual but she wore a uniform she never saw. It was a white, cream color and it hugged her frame perfectly. A tan belt wrapped around her waist and tan shoes covered her feet; She looked amazing and (Y/N) couldn’t help but run over to her, hugging her tightly as the tears began to run down her face once more.

Rey couldn’t help but begin to cry herself as she held (Y/N) close to her, moving her right hand up to bury it in her hair to keep her as close as she possibly could. It wasn’t long before the two began to cry into one another, never leaving each other's arms as they began to make up for all the lost time. Off to the side Ben, Poe, Finn, and Rose stood and kept an eye on the two, small smiles on their faces as they waited for the two. 

“Fuck- Rey I missed you- I’m glad you’re okay and that you’re here with me.” (Y/N) spoke as she pulled away to look at Rey, moving her hands to her cheeks to wipe away the tears that ran from her eyes. It was then that (Y/N) had noticed them; They were no longer that golden color she had grown used to seeing. They were now a warm, chocolate brown and she couldn’t help but smile warmly at them. They suited her well, even more so then the cold, golden eyes she had gotten used to seeing. Rey couldn’t help but nuzzle her cheeks into her hands before she used the hand in her hair to pull her down and crash their lips together, Rey’s eyes shutting tightly as she put as much passion into the kiss as she could. (Y/N) couldn’t help the squeak that left her but it was snuffed out by Rey’s lips on hers and it didn’t take her long to shut her eyes and return the kiss with just as much passion, her hands staying on Rey’s cheeks to keep her head there. Their tongues mingled together within seconds, soon one slipping into the others mouth to explore, to see if anything had changed while they were away. The kiss must have lasted well over two minutes because once they pulled away, they were both breathing heavily; Staring into each others eyes once more before Rey spoke up.

“I love you, (Y/N).. I love you so much and I never want to leave your side again for so long as I live..” She spoke, removing (Y/N)’s hands from her cheeks and held them tightly in her own.

“I know we just got reunited but just.. Fuck there’s something I want to do.” Rey spoke before she lowered herself onto one knee and watched (Y/N) once more who was more then ready to cry once more as she watched Rey. 

“I want you to be my wife, (Y/N). I know- I know it’s crazy, we just got back together but I had time to think it through. I felt your feelings through our dyad; How alone you felt. The countless sleepless nights.. I don’t want to be away from you anymore. I want our life to start new and what better way then to get married? So, (Y/N) Skywalker, will you marry me?” She asked, her eyes tearing up as she awaited (Y/N)’s answer. The realization of the situation finally hitting her all at once; Rey was asking her to marry her. To take her hand and make it official; That she would be Rey’s and vice versa. She wouldn’t have to be alone anymore, she wouldn’t have to have countless, sleepless nights alone in that bed. She would have Rey with her; She wouldn’t have to go through the pain of being alone anymore, she wouldn’t have to do anything alone anymore so long as Rey was beside her. With a shaky breath she gave a nod.

“I- Yes Rey. A thousand times yes I will marry you.” (Y/N) told Rey through a voice she never thought she’d hear again; It was a joyful one. One where she was actually happy and not just putting on a show. Rey couldn’t help but laugh and get to her feet and hug her tightly, spinning the two around as those nearby clapped and cheered them on. Poe even gave a wolf whistle which made (Y/N) blush lightly but at this point she couldn’t give a damn. Rey was back in her life and they were about to start a new, more happier chapter in their lives and she couldn’t be more excited for it to begin.

Everything was finally going right for (Y/N). It wasn’t all just lies, smoke and mirrors anymore.

#Star Wars #Rey Skywalker #Rey Palpatine #Rey x Reader #Rey Skywalker x Reader #Rey Palpatine x Reader #Sith!Rey x Reader #Empress!Rey x Reader #Force Awakens #Last Jedi #Rise of Skywalker #Smoke and Mirrors

[goldenhour-goldenboy]

hi!! after watching TF i got a Supernatural Dean and Sam vibe from Will and Benny, Will is like Dean and Benny is sam. It mentioned their dad in the movie and icouldn't help imagine him being a military dad, which is how they both got into this job. and Wills line of "I've been supporting him since the day he was born” about benny just reminded me of dean taking care of sam. could u write a fic about Will and bennys childhood and how you think it could have gone with a military dad away a lot! x

Soooo a couple of things 1) i’ve never made it past the third season supernatural and that was years ago so I hope the vibe is still what you wanted :) and 2) I was mainly working from other people’s experience with having a parent or both parents in the army and being in the army in the US is probably a bit different from being in the army in Germany buuuut I still enjoyed this snippet and I hope you do too! :) 

Growing up with their dad in the military (Ben Miller and William Miller, hc)

Both of the Miller boys grow up on strength, physically and emotionally, their parents keen on teaching the boys values and morales that are important to them. 

Their mother, an endless source of love, would always patch up their knees, dry their tears and help them with their homework. She’s the heart of the household, both of the boys inheriting her warmth and care. This is what she taught them, that there is strength in forgiveness and kindness and that every creature on this earth is deserving of love. It is important for her that her sons learn respect and honesty with one another, fairness and to be stronger than what the world might throw at them. 

He’s cracking jokes on Sundays where they are meant to be on their way to church yet they’re late again so they end up at a pancake place because there really is no point in going now. He’s morning runs, the brothers chasing after him until they get tired halfway through and he has to carry them back to the house, getting his own little workout in like that. 

The boys see their parents being in love, dancing around the kitchen, stealing kisses while cooking and even though they are children and that stuff is gross for them the imagine on what a relationship should look like gets imprinted into their minds.

Both of the boys grow up with at least one daily task to fulfill. It is their fathers way of teaching them responsibility and patience and care.

 William and Ben being in charge of the chickens in the backyard seemed like an excellent choice for that. they are in charge of feeding them and taking them out of the gutter and making sure the way to the enclosure is free and available ben learned to take responsibility the hard way, when he forgot to lock the gates one night and the chicken ran away in the cold, never to be seen again. His father, showing little emotions for that other than disappointment just shrugs and tells him to be more careful next time if he wants to avoid that from happening again. 

To the outside world his way of raising the boys may seem a bit extreme, even cold at times but it couldn’t be further from the truth. Their dad is still caring and incredibly invested in the boys, so much that he wants to do everything that they grow up string minded and healthy and independent, thats all that he wants from life and if that’s the way to get them to learn than so be it. most of this comes from his own father, having the family having a long line of history of vets and soldiers. it is a sense of belonging that he walkways felt when talking to his dad and he wants to pass that down to his own sons. and though they are grateful for the many lessons they’ve learned as children, little kids really can’t comprehend the situation as they grow up and are still young, let alone understand the intentions that go with actions.

It gets harder every time their father has to leave again. The boys don’t understand. It’s confusion the first time and some tears, they are trying to be brave and grown up then. The next time there are a lot more tears, more confusion, yelling and clinging until they reach a point where it’s silent tears and not even wanting to hug their dad and say goodbye. This is even worse than the yelling. 

It’s after one too times his father tells him he has to leave the next week, again, that William runs into the office, where his dad stores his belongings and the medals of his dad and pictures taken while he was in service, and pushes everything off the shelves before storming out the house. He doesn’t necessarily smashes anything as much as he just wants it all to be gone, leading to nothing being broken in the end but the gesture defiantly getting across. His dad finds William out on the front porch, the little guy waiting for him to come and confront him about his actions. Part of Will wants to stand tall and take whatever his dad has to say to him with pride and part of him is just utterly scared of the reaction he’s about to receive, anxiously awaiting the yelling his dad must’ve prepared. It leaves him with his chin up but his eyes watering and his lower lip quivering. When his dad just sighs and sits down Will’s nerves start to get the best of him and he breaks down crying because that’s the reaction he had prepared and now that there’s no outburst from his dad he’s completely confused into what he’s supposed to feel. His father can’t even be mad, it is such a clear and big signal from William to act out like that, he has to force down a chuckle. „You’re a brave guy, William Miller.“ His son is still sobbing and while he stops to take in a shaky breath Papa Miller opens one of his arms, not being able to see his son hurt by something he caused. „You need a hug, tough guy?“

William, even though being the older one, has a hard time dealing with the absence of his dad and missing him a lot more than he can handle. There are endless nights spent crying and getting terribly homesick, even though he is home. He grew up knowing what it was like to have a dad around and whenever his dad is gone, he can feel him missing. 

His obsession with numbers started then, counting the days his dad was gone, how many times he has to sleep before he gets to see him. It’s a desperate attempt to make the situation more bearable for him and it barely works.

Benny at the same time grew up seeing his dad from time to time. He’s used to the stories instead of memories and saying goodbye constantly before seeing him again some weeks later. He doesn’t remember his first couple of years as much as Will does, when his dad used to be gone for months at times. His world was much simpler, his questions could be answered with wonders and his mother telling him about how brave his dad is, fighting to come home because he loves his family so much. For Benny, his dad is a hero. Until he is not.

Puberty is hitting him like a ton of bricks and while his brother grew up with a lot of feelings, Benny suddenly gets a lot more input than he can handle. He feels everything, all the time and he truly doesn’t know how to deal with that. His dad being absent only feeds into his confusion, leaving Benny unsatisfied if he is home and missing him when he’s gone. He’s picking fights then, with his mom, his brother and most often his dad when he is actually home. Doors slamming, yelling and heavy footsteps on the stairs are common in those years and Benny loses the connection to his father for quite some time.

With Benny trying to sort himself out, William feels like he’s going through puberty a second time. They’ve moved a couple times by now and while Will comforts himself with books (they wont leave him and he can take them anywhere with him) Ben has gotten in with the wrong kind of people just one too many times. He’s out at night more than he can count, his mother not getting through to him and his brother only finding the wrong words. They’re at each others throats more and more, underestimating their own strength and forgetting that if they hit each other now it can become real dangerous real quick. 

It’s one night where Ben is coming home late. He’s drunk and trying to sneak in, actually bumping into every corner on his way through the house. He doesn’t even make it up the stairs as his brother, woken up by the crashing, comes down to help him. Hushed words lead to snarls lead to yelling, feelings that have been pushed down for too long explode. „What do you think dad would say if he were here? He would beat your ass to next christmas!“ „I don’t care about fucking dad! He can fuck off and die whatever shithole he’s stuck in now!“ They use words that cut deep and it doesn’t take long for them to roll around the hallway, fists hammering and hands closing around each other throats. Neither of them hear their mother shout, desperate for her sons to stop. She screams, she cries, she throws plates to the ground but they don’t hear her so she brings out the gun and fires a warning shot into the ceiling. Now they stop, startled and she sends them to bed before breaking down in the living room, a hole in the ceiling being the literal sign for something terribly going wrong right now. Their father comes home a few weeks later, both boys not interested in seeing him. William, who initially wasn’t even mad, actually understands his brother because he too, feels left behind. The last image their dad has of them is when they were 8 and they have matured a lot by that now. There’s no hug this time, the ceiling being fixed long before the boys learn to deal with their feelings and it takes an even longer time to forgive their dad, because after all it is their dad and they do care for him very much.

It’s a special kind of bond the Miller brothers share between them, their trust grown over years spending together and the thought about one leaving the other actually scaring them. Both of them like to know their loved ones safe and sound, a lot of their caring coming from the time that they didn’t know if their dad was alright. Ben and Will join the military at the same time, both beaming with pride and confidence. This is what they both wanted ever since thinking about their future, side by side and even though William struggles to come to terms with the thought that his baby brother might get hurt, he couldn’t imagine his service without him.

The day they get sworn in is probably the proudest day for the whole family. Their father is beaming with pride looking at his sons and both of them feel like they might explode.

There’s a lot they still haven’t talked about. The past is not an easy thing to untangle and feelings don’t go away like that, Ben and Will slowly understanding their father more and more as they experience violence and war and grief in the same way he did. Now they are the ones who get to see their parents from time to time, the tables being turned in a way they always suspected to happen but not being prepared for the way it actually is. 

It certainly helps to have a father who’ve experienced this kind of mental strain before and who knows what its like to go to war and then come back home. A lot of the adjusting with life back home they actually turned to their father to, family dinners often revolving around their stories and experiences and sometimes just quiet pats on the shoulders, as no words are needed to understand the struggle each one is going through. Not every action can be excused but they are older now and old scars are sometimes just that, old scars.

#William Miller imagine #Benny Miller imagine #Triple Frontier imagine #triple frontier headcanon #William Miller headcanon #Miller brothers #miller brothers imagine #miller brothers headcanon #Ben Miller imagine #william ironhead miller #William Miller #Benny Miller #Ben Miller #anonymous #answered #request #triple frontier

[planetdream]

HELLO HELLO I FORGOT I SENT YOU AN ASK???? AND I WAS THE ONE ASKING IF IT GOT DELETED? VERY RUDE OF ME

okay no but yes I just got sick for another week 😭😭😭 life is not kind to me,,,,I JUST finished an essay and it's 6:19am rn and the sky is lighting up this is homophobic </3

I'm trying to get to terms to losing it but mannnnn I'm so pissed and upset because I had three kpop photo cards in it 😭 (along with other very important stuff ofc like my old student cards and I, obviously, alr graduated)

What can I say I'm just someone who loves the dark too much sksksksks jokes aside tho the dark is nice cos it makes me less guilty to be depressed - it's so weird to see it still light outside at 7pm rip

DREAMIE I WAS LOWKEY KIDDING BUT YOU ACTUALLY SAVED A SPOT FOR ME ALDHFJSJSHDJSKKDDK I LOVE YOU HELLO?? Okay but yes I will Sit Down and Think About It and come back to you with an MV uwu

Also Maniac omg,,,,Felix is such a queer king with that skirt and his HAIR as always a fashion icon. Hyunjin with red hair?? Chan with blue hair?? Changbin with green highlights?? Freaking LEE KNOW with purple hair?? These boys are here to slay and they aren't leaving anyone alive oh no. And Han with that slicked back hairstyle </3 I'm sorry Seungmin but Han is killing me there I can't skskkzsksksksks Also erm no hate but I didn't like the song at first? But it's so catchy?? Like does it sit at the top of my skz playlist? Not really. But is it so catchy that it makes me want to loop it so many times my brain explodes? Yes.

(also sorry if everything looks incoherent I've been writing a 2k essay for the past seven hours and I desperately need sleep)

Bestie SAME on the touch starved end 😭✋ and yes physical emotional connection desperately needed here as well pls 😭😭 I think my friend's constant complaints rubbed off on me because he's always like omg I want a boyfriend and there can only be one touch starved hoe between us so I have to be the bigger person ☠️☠️ but yes much love needed here as well

SCREAMING CRYING MOANING AT THE MENTAL IMAGE. just,,,,seungmo trying to not betray his feelings but ultimately man is a human as well and at the end he's not even scrolling through his phone,,,,the screen is black and it's just something to anchor himself onto </3 absolutely insane with that idea

Also that anon who said Lee Know <3. Massive vibes <33

How are you doing dreamie? Hope all is well hehe :)

-seong

ok first off—get some sleep (maybe u already are idk) can't have u out here sleep-deprived AND sick omg.

and the wallet 💔💔💔 three pcs and important things oh baby i really feel for u...tbh i dont think i'd be able to come to terms with losing it...

as for the collab—there's not a set deadline for posting the fic at the moment (and there probably won't be lol) so you can take your time choosing the fic, but that seungmin spot is 100% yours, babe!

maniac—the boys all look so good and im proud of what they've accomplished this era so far. i was talking about this with moon the other day but it's so fun to watch all of this happen in real time. like bb200?? so sexy of them, really. and yeah, at first listen i wasn't vibing with maniac like i did the other songs on the album (chalking it up to my general occasional dislike of singles) but after the second listen i liked it a lot more ahaha

— apologising for things seeming incoherent?? welcome to my entire blog fr

i've been going outside more and more lately since it's getting warmer and idk im just so...starved of different types of connections. i think i want a romantic connection lol, but that's a lot of work rn and i can't put someone through the stress of dealing with me atm rip

how am i doing? well it's pretty late now and i had a pretty busy day and im finally settling in at home fr and im just....so emotional for no reason?? wanna cry a little bit but other than that im doing good. upset bc i don't have any weed rn but it is what it is lol

#💌 — mail time #🫂 — 성♡ #long post

[marblelover-ofliberty]

love or fear of the cold

He looked like Grantaire. At first glance, anyway, through eyes bleary from three days of missed sleep. He had dark curls and a contagious smile and a gaze that lingered on Enjolras’ long enough to bring color to his cheeks. He’d only noticed that look from one other person before, and he missed the days when he wouldn’t have noticed it at all.

Enjolras gave his coffee order, and then his name, and watched how his mouth formed around the vowels as he repeated it back to him, once, twice, three times. Enjolras’ name sounded different in his voice, less like a prayer and more of a curiosity. He had to spell it out for him.

Enjolras paid and shifted to the other end of the counter to wait for his order, and when his name was called, it wasn’t his name on the cup.

“Sorry, I think you’ve mixed up orders.”

The barista smiled. “No, that’s yours.”

Enjolras read the writing on the cup again. Finn. Finn. And a number just below. He glanced back up at Finn, and smiled too.

“Nice to meet you.”

“I get off at six.”

“I’ll see how your coffee tastes first.”

Enjolras sat on a bench by the canal, sipping at his coffee and contemplating whether or not to text Finn. He’d left the café sure he’d just toss the cup when it was empty, but now he wasn’t so sure. He wasn’t the type to flirt with cute baristas in foreign cities, but he also wasn’t the type to quit his job or travel aimlessly or get wasted in Munich and call his ex.

His ex. Grantaire. He knew some of his reservation was because of Grantaire. Grantaire, who he’d called and texted several times over the last few weeks without response. Still, Enjolras tried. He had to try because he loved him, couldn’t just let go of him, couldn’t give up on the hope that they’d find their way back. Grantaire asked him to come home, he really sounded like he wanted him home; Enjolras just hadn’t thought either of them were ready for that.

So Enjolras kept texting. He told him he was sorry, told him where he was and where he planned to go next, told him he’d come home soon.

After weeks of silence, Enjolras texted Grantaire less and less until he stopped all together. Silence felt just as much of a rejection as Grantaire telling him to leave him alone would have. He sent his last text just over a week ago, when he’d gotten on the train from Brussels to Amsterdam.

And really, what was the harm in texting a cute guy who’d given him his number? Grantaire was going out and making new friends. Enjolras could, too. He didn’t have to resign himself to loneliness.

[Text] Hey, stranger. - E

[Text] You liked the coffee, then? - F

[Text] I had better in Venice - E

[Text] Foodhallen. 6:30. You can tell me all about it. - F

Finn’s smile met his eyes when he caught sight of Enjolras from across the crowded food market. He was taller than Grantaire, and leaner, but still shorter than Enjolras. He greeted him with a hug and a kiss to the cheek and still smelled of coffee though he’d changed out of his uniform.

Finn bought him dinner. He was easy to talk to and had a warm, infectious laugh that captured Enjolras immediately.

His cheekbones were sharper, and his jawline stronger, and his eyes a shade of green his couldn’t describe.

He was a student at the university nearby and he owned two black cats because he didn’t believe in superstition and he came out to his family when he was fifteen. He still went to their house at least once a week for dinner.

Enjolras told him about the coffee in Venice. He told him what he’d studied in university, about his work and his friends, about how he ended up in Amsterdam after traveling across Europe from Barcelona. He left out Grantaire.

“You are one of those rich kids, aren’t you?”

“My parents won’t pay ransom, don’t bother.”

He told Finn about the strained relationship he shared with his parents, about boarding school and coming out before he was ready, and the family he’d created when his blood family wasn’t enough. He still didn’t tell him about Grantaire.

Finn leaned in as Enjolras spoke, watched and listened intently and asked him questions when something sounded unclear. Enjolras couldn’t remember the last time someone showed so much interest in just talking to him, and he realized then that Finn had no pity in his expression and he wasn’t treading lightly to preserve his feelings. He had a clean slate.

They walked along the canal to a little stand to get what Finn called the best stroopwafels in Amsterdam. Along the way, the back of Finn’s hand brushed against Enjolras’, and he turned his hand to offer it to him.

His hand was softer, uncalloused, and his fingers were longer, and Enjolras’ skin didn’t tingle at his touch but after months of going untouched, it felt nice.

They kept walking as the stars came out and the streetlights came on and the night grew colder, and Finn showed him all the routes he used to get around on his bike and all the shops he loved and taught him a few phrases in Dutch and laughed at Enjolras’ accent.

Enjolras didn’t notice the time until they walked by a church and the bells chimed half past two in the morning. Enjolras yawned and Finn offered to walk him back to his hotel.

“You are in a foreign city, you could lose your way.”

“I have been finding my way around foreign cities for nearly five months.”

“You want to be rid of me that badly?”

“Non, I don’t.”

Finn tugged at Enjolras’ hand, and he took a step in, tensing for a moment while Finn’s hands slid around his waist, his eyes lingering over his mouth. His heart thumped erratically in his chest, and he couldn’t tell if it was fear or surprise or anticipation, but he’d never once thought another person would ever look at him like that again or that he’d want them to. Suddenly another night alone was too much to bear, and when Finn leaned in to close the distance between them, Enjolras met him halfway.

He tasted sweet, like stroopwafel and coffee with too much creamer. There was no underlying cigarette smoke or whiskey, none of the burn that set Enjolras’ blood on fire. But his lips were soft and his hands were gentle and Enjolras drew him closer by the front of his coat.

“I live just around the corner from here.”

A five minute walk later, they were stumbling through Finn’s apartment to his bedroom, mouths connected and hands fumbling over zippers and buttons, going too fast for Enjolras to think this through, to think about how he felt, to think about Grantaire. Grantaire, who didn’t care where he was or who he was with or what he was doing, and didn’t want Enjolras knowing where he was or who he was with or what he was doing.

Grantaire didn’t care.

Finn pushed Enjolras back onto the bed and he gave himself over so easily to the heat of his mouth, the drag of his nails along the inside of his thighs, the weight of his body over his. Enjolras spread his legs for him, yanked at his hair when he hit him deep, begged for more harder faster, and, god, it felt so good to be touched and grabbed and kissed and wanted. And, no, it didn’t feel quite right, but with Finn moving inside him and kissing the moans straight from his mouth, with heat pooling fast in the pit of his stomach, he couldn’t focus on why.

“Anyone ever told you you’re noisy in bed?”

“Mmm.”

“Goodnight, Enjolras.”

Enjolras woke up early the next morning. He had an alarming moment when he couldn’t place where he’d woken up, naked, wrapped in sheets that smelled unfamiliar. He rolled over and saw the boy that looked like Grantaire but wasn’t him sleeping soundly, and a sinking feeling came over him at the recollection of what happened between them the night before.

As quietly and as quickly as he could, Enjolras slipped out of bed and started gathering his clothes, his hands shaking and stomach churning, feeling just as ill as he had with the hangover. He’d slept with a stranger, with someone who smiled at him and said a few nice words to him, because he was lonely and weak and couldn’t resist feeling wanted. He’d never felt more mortified in his life.

What would Grantaire think? Would he forgive him?

No, they weren’t together anymore. Grantaire wouldn’t care.

Grantaire didn’t care.

He didn’t care.

And Enjolras hadn’t done anything wrong. They weren’t together anymore. He and Grantaire weren’t together, they hadn’t been together for months, hadn’t spoken in weeks, and if that wasn’t a sign of a finished relationship, he didn’t know what was.

It felt so wrong.

Even if he didn’t want to accept it, even without any closure, they were over, and he didn’t have to feel guilty for finding comfort in someone else.

“Going already?”

“Oh, Finn, sorry, I… I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Don’t you want to stay for coffee?”

“No, no. I really should be going.”

“You have a boyfriend, don’t you?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Stay for a while. I make good pancakes.”

Stay with Finn, or go back to an empty bed.

Finn got dressed. He made pancakes. They lounged in bed and had their breakfast and coffee, and Enjolras told Finn about Grantaire. Parts about Grantaire. How they met, how they fought and fell in love. He didn’t tell him Grantaire had been the first and, until last night, only person he’d been with. He didn’t tell him they were once engaged, and now weren’t. He told him about Grantaire’s art, his sense of humor, his love for his friends, his warmth.

“He sounds too good to be true.”

“You haven’t heard about the mugs of paint water yet.”

The more Enjolras spoke about Grantaire, the more he loved him, and the more he missed him, and when it hurt too much to speak any more, Finn held him close and stroked his hair, and, god, Enjolras had meant it when he told Grantaire he’d ruined him for anyone else.

Finn told him stories from his childhood and of bad first dates and jokes with puns that didn’t quite translate from Dutch to French until Enjolras could laugh again, until morning faded into day and Finn had to go in for his shift.

Enjolras held Finn’s hand as they walked to the coffee shop, and they lingered outside even though he was already five minutes late. Finn pulled Enjolras into a hug and Enjolras held him tight, and even though he still couldn’t reconcile what had happened between them last night, he could appreciate the company and comfort Finn had given him, and at least they would get a real goodbye.

They broke from the hug and Finn kissed Enjolras’ forehead, and then tucked a hair behind his ear and kissed his lips, before stepping back with a smile.

“Don’t be a stranger.”

#E travels #drabbles

[kyandice]

CANDICE EDIT THIS UGLY SHIT WHEN U HAVE THE FUCKING TIME

this is an ugly unedited one it has been in my drafts for like 2 months already. so whatever i just posting it. ill edit it if i have the time. thins is is i actually edited half way and MY FUCKING COMPUTER FUCKING CRASHED SO I GAVE UP  and yeahhh ill just post this ugly unedited one and ill edit it again WITH PROPER ENGLISH WHEN I HAVE THE TIME. idk i just cqnt see stuff in my drafts i just havre to post it and yewah wtf.

this unedu=ited stuff is just me writing key poiunts about my day and not like urghhhhhhh i hate this commmmmm. normally i would describe more but i dont want it in my drafts anymore so ill edit it when im free OKAYYYY.

1/3 

Hahahahahah lmao this was the date when i got tgt with K 3 years ago.(omg i still rmb, but tbh its nth special i just rmb useless stuff pretty well)  Never wanted to date a guy again even i with crushes back in sec sch. but anyways, today i went to Sentosa w/ B and he seemed to really like the artificial fiels alot but it was like in the afternoon so it was still kinda hot and yeahhhh. Like it would be much nicer at night. There will be like alot of stars and fireworks too and it will be more windy and cooling idk but it will be nicer at night and i want to spend the night w/ B there again. Oh yeah anyways ystd B bought me the batgirl lego keychain and B told me that batgirl had sex with batman and im shoooked.

2/3 and like today we planned to go to his house anddd then go to parkway parade to some lego secret chambers shop. i went out early cuz my junior wanted to pass me her lego characs but she couldnt make it so i was alr at bishan so i just went to tpy and wait for bryan o wake and meet me so i called him at 11am but he woke up and shouted at me so i just like nvmmmm so i went to the library and went window shopping around tpy and i also went popular 1pm i didnt want to call him up but i was like ugh nvm and called him.. and yay he finaally woke up wna read tuesday with morrie, all the fifty shades of grey and in grey's pov n miss peregrine's home for peculiar children but we still went to parkway parade anyays and he asked me to watch letters from iwo jima so i watched it at night and bryan wanted to watch the breakup list on toggle but it kept playing ads and it just wouldnt play the video so b got alittle pissed 3/3 logan, training (our 8th movie)

4/3 finishing crocheting my first thinggg the bear thing shoud i give it to bryan would he want it so today b was vvvv kinda excited this video thing with ck and cez and im like vvv happy for him cuz he can do smthing he rlly likes with cool n funny ffriends. also he said that he didnt want us to go public at first cuz he was afraid that ppl might tease us he said he was afraid i might be ffrustrated but tbh i was hella frustaratred i dont see the point of hiding our rship but im glad werre like opene now and so at night i went to ikea and b messaged me but i was busyt walking and i didnt recieve his msg but i didnt like lock my phone so it was read. but like it was in my pockets and like my mom doesnt allow me to play my phine whenever im walking but yeah anyways b was angry hat i didnt reply him. we sorta quarreled awhile but we were kinda okay after that i guess. wtf sia today midnight i have to distribute stuff to the homeless ppl in bugis and i was wearing a short paanyts and my mom tied this weird looking scarf i swear i look like some carzy hobo youngster wtf.

5&6/3 sneaked out of house, slept over at his house and after that i went to tpy first while he showers, ate and went home early to pack for camp stuff wna stay over at his house again it was fun we tried to watch moanna but was kinda sleepy

7/3 day 1 of camp. slept with b outised tgt

8/3 day 2 of camp (-met javier and sihui -every camps i go i get very angry -shoulder, water balloon) larn cpr and aed the skit thing worst grp ever

9/3 day 3 of camp water activities we won

10/3 tkd training

11/3

-wtf nxt week go msia (wanted to go work) -quarreled with bteh. cuz i cant go out but he wants me to go out -yyour suffering defines you without it yore a void -japan and korea with bryan -my parents -i want more lego charac -money - i cant wait for tmr for ilighhtsss i want to take like alooot pictures tgt with bryannnn styled hair -nicole choo idk why im still so insecure like i know pretty clearly that im decent looking. decent looking enough to make friends, have a job and not get ostracised in society. and well if you arent good looking enough you'll be made fun off/ostracised in society and thats how humans work. and now everywhere you see are pretty girls and how can any girls feel not insecure. Okay, i have a flat and fat nose. i want to have a sharper and thinner nose like michelle. i have pretty small boobs and i want boobs like naomi. my shoulders are too wide from playing softball, i want a smaller width shoulders like grace. my tummy isnt flat i want a flat tummy. and thing is those are pretty famous girls in like sg and im not even talking abt kim kard or emma wats or like jennifer lawr. omg i dont even know where im going with this im just literally typing all my thoughts down. okay and the boys here???? they all follow those people and im pretty sure they compare them over the normal girls in sch. omg what am i even talking abt. i feel silly even typing this out. but okay if your beauty standards doesnt reach like the norm in society you srsly wouldnt have friends. unless youre realllll rich or your sense of humor is rlly rlly great.

12/3 didnt quarrel but we  were obv upset with each other it was a fun day tho when to see i lights took alot pictures ate llaollao no money

20/3 best s ever went home after it bteh gg aunts house today

his flight will be tmr 21/22 job interview got the job bryaan in flight abt cosplay how i dont have frinds

25/03 bryan found my private twitter accnt                                    bteh tole me abt a girl he liked when he was in korea idk if anyone realised but ive got a really really really bad habit. its weird really. but its a thing ive been doing since young and i never talked to anyone about it before. so actually, when im nervous, or stressed out, or just couldnt take my mind off smthing, i would like start peeling or plucking my nails. okay many people do this but, i ahve a weirder one andddd omg i think i will regret saying this. So actually, i pluck i my hair when im nervous, stressed out or just thinking abt smthing i cant ignore. so back in primary 4 i was doing this math practice paper and i couldnt do any those 6marks big problem sums and i was fking stressed out. and well my habit of plucking my own hair started really really young. and at P4 my mom saw me crying

26 toc competition firdst fight win second fight lose how i dont wna fight nationals cuz my weight cat all got national player lose my chance to win gold cant even get silver r came today

29/ power rangers

30 wanted to go coney island with rapheal and jill and bryan but it rained so we went to lan and gamed without jill bryan pushed me and i banged into someone in the end see museums some forest thing the ligths vvv pretyy

28/hotel

31/ hotel went to work after that talk about work made bryan that key chain clp diner and dance

1/4 learn bst bts for club crawl played boomberang didnt workkk aot is out!!!!!!

2/4 today i need to go mountbatten cc to practice my poomsae my poomsae lousy i dont think i can pass at first try anyways president of stf is milan quey idk if i spelt his name properly but yeah. before that ate yellow sub with B will nvr eat there again portion is small yet expensive and food isint so nice at all but since i get to eat with b im vvvv gladdd

3/4 today i went early to B's house. after that met up with madeline and shirlyn to watch boss baby and the movie was quite nice i thought i wouldnt like it and then we ate pepper lunch and omg osaka is a vvv small place like shirlyn went evrywhere i visited like a a year ago

4/4 AND I WOKE UP WITH BTEH lose his doibok and he couldnt find it my maid threathened to take a mail for my mom cuz she lazy walk and she wants me to do it but i was late

5/4 there was demo training we played table tennis for awhile and bteh is good at it, ok maybe its just that i suck at it but yea theres was fmo so we slacked at tg until demo tng started so at night he said hes tired but idk that he wanted to sleep soon and he was like stop it and i was like stop wat but he ttly just shut me off and then i got pissed cuz i would nvr do that to him

6/4 i had to meet herman but like after meeting him timetable i realised i forget to bring my wallet somethimes im torn in beteen like just not gg out with bteh cuz i have no money to eat or spend his money again he keeps saying its okay but its really not okay im just not comfortable like someone spending so much on me i owe money so he told me his specs broke ttly

One of the things dreams do for us is prepare us for worse case scenario. The dream that is closest to reality about a loved one leaving us prepares the mind for the pain that can be inflicted upon us. It creates a probability. That means it could happen, it means it’s a fear you have, and being such your mind protects your psyche in a way to allow you to feel the emotions of the event, even though the event never occurred.

13 reasons why felt like  th main charac like back in sec sch all i wanted was just to finish my olevels and go to poly so i can be a whole new person. someone who i wanted to be withouht anyone laughing at me

1au away from sol 1au measurement unit like light or smthing sol is latin from sun porbbaly it

[viralhottopics]

The 16 Most Beautifully Touching Love Letters From Famous Writers And Artists

1. Allen Ginsburg to poet Peter Orlovsky:

Dear Petey:

O Heart O Love everything is suddenly turned to gold! Dont be afraid dont worry the most astounding beautiful thing has happened here! I dont know where to begin but the most important. When Bill [ed: William S. Burroughs] came I, we, thought it was the same old Bill mad, but something had happened to Bill in the meantime since we last saw him…but last night finally Bill and I sat down facing each other across the kitchen table and looked eye to eye and talked, and I confessed all my doubt and misery and in front of my eyes he turned into an Angel!

What happened to him in Tangiers this last few months? It seems he stopped writing and sat on his bed all afternoons thinking and meditating alone & stopped drinking and finally dawned on his consciousness, slowly and repeatedly, every day, for several months awareness of a benevolent sentient (feeling) center to the whole Creation he had apparently, in his own way, what I have been so hung up in myself and you, a vision of big peaceful Lovebrain…

I woke up this morning with great bliss of freedom & joy in my heart, Bills saved, Im saved, youre saved, were all saved, everything has been all rapturous ever since I only feel sad that perhaps you left as worried when we waved goodby and kissed so awkwardly I wish I could have that over to say goodby to you happier & without the worries and doubts I had that dusty dusk when you left Bill is changed nature, I even feel much changed, great clouds rolled away, as I feel when you and I were in rapport, well, our rapport has remained in me, with me, rather than losing it, Im feeling to everyone, something of the same as between us.

2. Frida Kahlo to Diego Rivera:

Diego:

Truth is, so great, that I wouldnt like to speak, or sleep, or listen, or love. To feel myself trapped, with no fear of blood, outside time and magic, within your own fear, and your great anguish, and within the very beating of your heart. All this madness, if I asked it of you, I know, in your silence, there would be only confusion. I ask you for violence, in the nonsense, and you, you give me grace, your light and your warmth. Id like to paint you, but there are no colors, because there are so many, in my confusion, the tangible form of my great love.

F.

3. Oscar Wilde to Lord Alred Bosie Douglas (Wilde’s eventual muse):

My Own Boy,

Your sonnet is quite lovely, and it is a marvel that those red rose-leaf lips of yours should be made no less for the madness of music and song than for the madness of kissing. Your slim gilt soul walks between passion and poetry. I know Hyacinthus, whom Apollo loved so madly, was you in Greek days.

Why are you alone in London, and when do you go to Salisbury? Do go there to cool your hands in the grey twilight of Gothic things, and come here whenever you like. It is a lovely place and lacks only you; but go to Salisbury first.

Always, with undying love, yours, Oscar

4. Eleanor Roosevelt to Lorena Hickok (Eleanor’s long-speculated lover):

Hick, darling

Ah, how good it was to hear your voice. It was so inadequate to try and tell you what it meant. Funny was that I couldnt say je taime and je tadore as I longed to do, but always remember that I am saying it, that I go to sleep thinking of you.

5. Emma Darwin to Charles Darwin:

I cannot tell you the compassion I have felt for all your sufferings for these weeks past that you have had so many drawbacks. Nor the gratitude I have felt for the cheerful & affectionate looks you have given me when I know you have been miserably uncomfortable.

My heart has often been too full to speak or take any notice I am sure you know I love you well enough to believe that I mind your sufferings nearly as much as I should my own & I find the only relief to my own mind is to take it as from Gods hand, & to try to believe that all suffering & illness is meant to help us to exalt our minds & to look forward with hope to a future state. When I see your patience, deep compassion for others self command & above all gratitude for the smallest thing done to help you I cannot help longing that these precious feelings should be offered to Heaven for the sake of your daily happiness. But I find it difficult enough in my own case. I often think of the words Thou shalt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee. It is feeling & not reasoning that drives one to prayer. I feel presumptuous in writing thus to you.

I feel in my inmost heart your admirable qualities & feelings & all I would hope is that you might direct them upwards, as well as to one who values them above every thing in the world. I shall keep this by me till I feel cheerful & comfortable again about you but it has passed through my mind often lately so I thought I would write it partly to relieve my own mind.

6. English poet Vita Sackville-West to Virginia Woolf:

…I am reduced to a thing that wants Virginia. I composed a beautiful letter to you in the sleepless nightmare hours of the night, and it has all gone: I just miss you, in a quite simple desperate human way. You, with all your undumb letters, would never write so elementary a phrase as that; perhaps you wouldnt even feel it. And yet I believe youll be sensible of a little gap. But youd clothe it in so exquisite a phrase that it should lose a little of its reality. Whereas with me it is quite stark: I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal. So this letter is really just a squeal of pain. It is incredible how essential to me you have become. I suppose you are accustomed to people saying these things. Damn you, spoilt creature; I shant make you love me any more by giving myself away like this But oh my dear, I cant be clever and stand-offish with you: I love you too much for that. Too truly. You have no idea how stand-offish I can be with people I dont love. I have brought it to a fine art. But you have broken down my defenses. And I dont really resent it.

7. E.B. White to his wife on the occasion of her pregnancy, “written” by their dog:

Dear Mrs. White:

I like having Josephine here in the morning, although I suppose I will get less actual thinking done as I used to do my thinking mornings in the bathroom. White has been stewing around for two days now, a little bit worried because he is not sure that he has made you realize how glad he is that there is to be what the column writer in the Mirror calls a blessed event. So I am taking this opportunity, Mrs. White, to help him out to the extent of writing you a brief note which I havent done in quite a long time but have been a little sick myself as you know. Well, the truth is White is beside himself and would have said more about it but is holding himself back, not wanting to appear ludicrous to a veteran mother. What he feels, he told me, is a strange queer tight little twitchy feeling around the inside of his throat whenever he thinks that something is happening which will require so much love and all on account of you being so wonderful. (I am not making myself clear I am afraid, but on the occasions when White has spoken privately with me about this he was in no condition to make himself clear either and I am just doing the best I can in my own way.) I know White so well that I always know what is the matter with him, and it always comes to the same thing he gets thinking that nothing that he writes or says ever quite expresses his feeling, and he worries about his inarticulateness just the same as he does about his bowels, except it is worse, and it makes him either mad, or sick, or with a prickly sensation in the head. But my, my, my, last Sunday he was so full of this matter which he couldnt talk about, and he was what Josephine in her simple way would call hoppy, and particularly so because it seemed so good that everything was starting at once I mean those things, whatever they are, that are making such a noise over in the pond by Palmer Lewiss house, and the song sparrow that even I could hear from my confinement in the house, and those little seeds that you were sprinkling up where the cut glass and bones used to be all starting at the same time as the baby, which he seems to think exists already by the way he stands around staring at you and muttering little prayers. Of course he is also very worried for fear you will get the idea that he is regarding you merely as a future mother and not as a present person, or that he wants a child merely as a vindication of his vanity. I doubt if those things are true; White enjoys animal husbandry of all kinds including his own; and as for his regard for you, he has told me that, quite apart from this fertility, he admires you in all kinds of situations or dilemmas, some of which he says have been quite dirty.

Well, Mrs. White, I expect I am tiring you with this long letter, but as you often say yourself, a husband and wife should tell each other about the things that are on their mind, otherwise you get nowhere, and White didnt seem to be able to tell you about his happiness, so thought I would attempt to put in a word.

White is getting me a new blanket, as the cushion in the bathroom is soiled.

Lovingly, Daisy

8. Charles Eames’ marriage proposal to Ray Eames:

Dear Miss Kaiser,

I am 34 (almost) years old, singel (again) and broke. I love you very much and would like to marry you very very soon.* I cannot promise to support us very well. but if given the chance I will shure in hell try

*soon means very soon.

What is the size of this finger??

as soon as I get to that hospital I will write reams well little ones.

love xxxxxxxxxx

Charlie

9. Jean-Paul Sartre to Simone de Beauvoir:

My dear little girl

For a long time Ive been wanting to write to you in the evening after one of those outings with friends that I will soon be describing in A Defeat, the kind when the world is ours. I wanted to bring you my conquerors joy and lay it at your feet, as they did in the Age of the Sun King. And then, tired out by all the shouting, I always simply went to bed. Today Im doing it to feel the pleasure you dont yet know, of turning abruptly from friendship to love, from strength to tenderness. Tonight I love you in a way that you have not known in me: I am neither worn down by travels nor wrapped up in the desire for your presence. I am mastering my love for you and turning it inwards as a constituent element of myself. This happens much more often than I admit to you, but seldom when Im writing to you. Try to understand me: I love you while paying attention to external things. At Toulouse I simply loved you. Tonight I love you on a spring evening. I love you with the window open. You are mine, and things are mine, and my love alters the things around me and the things around me alter my love.

My dear little girl, as Ive told you, what youre lacking is friendship. But now is the time for more practical advice. Couldnt you find a woman friend? How can Toulouse fail to contain one intelligent young woman worthy of you*? But you wouldnt have to love her. Alas, youre always ready to give your love, its the easiest thing to get from you. Im not talking about your love for me, which is well beyond that, but you are lavish with little secondary loves, like that night in Thiviers when you loved that peasant walking downhill in the dark, whistling away, who turned out to be me. Get to know the feeling, free of tenderness, that comes from being two. Its hard, because all friendship, even between two red-blooded men, has its moments of love. I have only to console my grieving friend to love him; its a feeling easily weakened and distorted. But youre capable of it, and you must experience it. And so, despite your fleeting misanthropy, have you imagined what a lovely adventure it would be to search Toulouse for a woman who would be worthy of you and whom you wouldnt be in love with? Dont bother with the physical side or the social situation. And search honestly. And if you find nothing, turn Henri Pons, whom you scarcely love anymore, into a friend.

[]

I love you with all my heart and soul.

10. Honor de Balzac to Countess Ewelina Haska (June, 1835):

MY BELOVED ANGEL,

I am nearly mad about you, as much as one can be mad: I cannot bring together two ideas that you do not interpose yourself between them. I can no longer think of nothing but you. In spite of myself, my imagination carries me to you. I grasp you, I kiss you, I caress you, a thousand of the most amorous caresses take possession of me. As for my heart, there you will always be very much so. I have a delicious sense of you there. But my God, what is to become of me, if you have deprived me of my reason? This is a monomania which, this morning, terrifies me. I rise up every moment say to myself, Come, I am going there! Then I sit down again, moved by the sense of my obligations. There is a frightful conflict. This is not a life. I have never before been like that. You have devoured everything. I feel foolish and happy as soon as I let myself think of you. I whirl round in a delicious dream in which in one instant I live a thousand years. What a horrible situation! Overcome with love, feeling love in every pore, living only for love, and seeing oneself consumed by griefs, and caught in a thousand spiders threads. O, my darling Eva, you did not know it. I picked up your card. It is there before me, and I talked to you as if you were here. I see you, as I did yesterday, beautiful, astonishingly beautiful. Yesterday, during the whole evening, I said to myself She is mine! Ah! The angels are not as happy in Paradise as I was yesterday!

11. Napoleon Bonaparte to Josphine de Beauharnais:

I am going to bed with my heart full of your adorable image I cannot wait to give you proofs of my ardent love How happy I would be if I could assist you at your undressing, the little firm white breast, the adorable face, the hair tied up in a scarf a la creole. You know that I will never forget the little visits, you know, the little black forest I kiss it a thousand times and wait impatiently for the moment I will be in it. To live within Josephine is to live in the Elysian fields. Kisses on your mouth, your eyes, your breast, everywhere, everywhere.

12. John Keats to Fanny Brawne:

My sweet love, I shall wait patiently till tomorrow before I see you, and in the mean time, if there is any need of such a thing, assure you by your Beauty, that whenever I have at any time written on a certain unpleasant subject, it has been with your welfare impressd upon my mind. How hurt I should have been had you ever acceded to what is, notwithstanding, very reasonable! How much the more do I love you from the general result! In my present state of Health I feel too much separated from you and could almost speak to you in the words of Lorenzos Ghost to Isabella

Your Beauty grows upon me and I feel A greater love through all my essence steal.

My greatest torment since I have known you has been the fear of you being a little inclined to the Cressid; but that suspicion I dismiss utterly and remain happy in the surety of your Love, which I assure you is as much a wonder to me as a delight. Send me the words Good night to put under my pillow.

Dearest Fanny, Your affectionate J.K.

13. Lord Byron to Teresa Guiccioli (August, 1819):

My dearest Teresa,

I have read this book in your garden;–my love, you were absent, or else I could not have read it. It is a favourite book of yours, and the writer was a friend of mine. You will not understand these English words, and others will not understand them,–which is the reason I have not scrawled them in Italian. But you will recognize the handwriting of him who passionately loved you, and you will divine that, over a book which was yours, he could only think of love.

In that word, beautiful in all languages, but most so in yours–Amor mio–is comprised my existence here and hereafter. I feel I exist here, and I feel I shall exist hereafter,–to what purpose you will decide; my destiny rests with you, and you are a woman, eighteen years of age, and two out of a convent. I love you, and you love me,–at least, you say so, and act as if you did so, which last is a great consolation in all events.

But I more than love you, and cannot cease to love you. Think of me, sometimes, when the Alps and ocean divide us, –but they never will, unless you wish it.

14. Voltaire to Olympe Dunover, written while in prison for their affair:

I am a prisoner here in the name of the King; they can take my life, but not the love that I feel for you. Yes, my adorable mistress, to-night I shall see you, and if I had to put my head on the block to do it.

For heaven’s sake, do not speak to me in such disastrous terms as you write; you must live and be cautious; beware of madame your mother as of your worst enemy. What do I say? Beware of everybody; trust no one; keep yourself in readiness, as soon as the moon is visible; I shall leave the hotel incognito, take a carriage or a chaise, we shall drive like the wind to Sheveningen; I shall take paper and ink with me; we shall write our letters.

If you love me, reassure yourself; and call all your strength and presence of mind to your aid; do not let your mother notice anything, try to have your pictures, and be assured that the menace of the greatest tortures will not prevent me to serve you. No, nothing has the power to part me from you; our love is based upon virtue, and will last as long as our lives. Adieu, there is nothing that I will not brave for your sake; you deserve much more than that. Adieu, my dear heart!

Arout (Voltaire)

15. Henry VIII to Anne Boleyn:

TO MY MISTRESS. Because the time seems very long since I heard concerning your health and you, the great affection I have for you has induced me to send you this bearer, to be better informed of your health and pleasure, and because, since my parting from you, I have been told that the opinion in which I left you is totally changed, and that you would not come to court either with your mother, if you could, or in any other manner; which report, if true, I cannot sufficiently marvel at, because I am sure that I have since never done any thing to offend you, and it seems a very poor return for the great love which I bear you to keep me at a distance both from the speech and the person of the woman that I esteem most in the world: and if you love me with as much affection as I hope you do, I am sure that the distance of our two persons would be a little irksome to you, though this does not belong so much to the mistress as to the servant.

Consider well, my mistress, that absence from you grieves me sorely, hoping that it is not your will that it should be so; but if I knew for certain that you voluntarily desired it, I could do no other than mourn my ill-fortune, and by degrees abate my great folly. And so, for lack of time, I make an end of this rude letter, beseeching you to give credence to this bearer in all that he will tell you from me.

Written by the hand of your entire Servant, H.R.

16. Leo Tolstoy to Valeria Arsenev (November, 1856):

I already love in you your beauty, but I am only beginning to love in you that which is eternal and ever previous your heat, your soul. Beauty one could get to know and fall in love with in one hour and cease to love it as speedily; but the soul one must learn to know. Believe me, nothing on earth is given without labour, even love, the most beautiful and natural of feelings.

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from The 16 Most Beautifully Touching Love Letters From Famous Writers And Artists

#The 16 Most Beautifully Touching Love Letters From Famous Writers And Artists