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toki-is-the-king · 9 months

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Toki Mental Health Headcanons:

(No hate please, you can disagree with me on this it’s just a headcanon I have + our Toki has autism so it makes sense to us).

-Toki most likely has autism but it’s undiagnosed because he was so neglected as a child; he never went to the Dr for anything, not even when he’d get fevers so bad he hallucinated. His parents didn’t care and also didn’t believe in going to the dr as it went against their religious beliefs; only God could heal. Often times when Toki was displaying signs of autism along with being physically ill all the time from abuse and neglect, his parents just locked him in the punishment hole for even longer, saying he needed to resist the devil or that Toki was disobeying God and was being punished by evil spirits. Toki has a highly stressful response anytime he’s sick now but does nothing much about it. And now he sees no point in going to the Dr, let alone a therapist or psychiatrist. The only times he really goes to the dr for check ups are when Charles forces he and the other guys or if his diabetes gets out of whack. Sometimes he still tells himself he has to ‘pray away’ his mental or physical afflictions due to his parents strict teachings, but it doesn’t work and he sometimes worries he’s actually possessed or evil. It hurts him so badly inside. He still doesn’t understand why they insisted he was evil, he still loved them but was terrified of them.

-That being said because he doesn’t have his ptsd or autism diagnosed or even know he has it, it just lingers for years and Toki doesn’t understand why he always feels so different from everyone else. And why people think his interests are childish and dumb or why he has meltdowns when somethings overstimulates him like the time he ‘accidentally’ might’ve murdered that dude at the Snakes N Barrels concert. He knows he’s fucked up but he lies to himself that he’s okay because that’s what he always had to do. Never having anyone to comfort him expect his straw clown doll and his imagination, he often regresses to a younger age to cope with his trauma and overall stress. He has panic attacks frequently too as well as nightmares and had social anxiety when he was a teenager. He beats himself up a lot, feeling the most fucked up out of everyone and having undiagnosed autism just makes him feel like he can’t even handle life. He talks to Skwisgaar about his internal struggles, knowing that even if all Skwisgaar does is nod and make brief eye contact, seeming half distracted with his guitar practicing, that he does care. Skwisgaar has his own personal issues and an ego, but he really does care about Toki and the two have a very close bond.

“Why’s Toki gotta have so many stupid problems things…”

-Toki doesn’t ever end up getting diagnosed, his distrust of the American medical system is part of it, also he’s just anxious about Dr’s in general, but he’s learned to self soothe and calm himself down over time. He enjoys having quiet time alone, focusing on a project, like building model airplanes or coloring, he likes to keep his hands busy so his mind has something to focus on. sometimes he just sits alone on his bed and hugs himself tightly or rocks himself until he calms down. Deddybear always brings him some relief.

-When nothing else works sometimes Toki gets explosive bursts of anger and destroys things, but he doesn’t have to be angry to break shit, it’s fun to break shit. Like lamps! Sometimes Skwisgaar or Pickles find him sobbing with bloody knuckles outside after fist fighting a tree or breaking random shit in the yard. Pickles always takes a brother like approach and brings Toki inside to bandage his hands, while Skwisgaar just takes Toki by the arm silently and walks him to his bathroom. He awkwardly helps Toki clean himself up and doesn’t say much. He lets Toki cuddle with him afterwards and it always helps Toki calm down.

-While some people with autism dislike being touched as it over stimulates them, Toki is the opposite. He always feels under stimulated. It could be because he was isolated for so long that now he can’t handle being alone for extended periods of time. He always wants physical contact with those he cares about. It’s hard being in Dethklok sometimes because none of the guys are affectionate towards each other and none are very touchy unless it’s with a woman. It makes Toki sad because he wants hugs all the time or to hold hands or play with someone’s fingers while sitting together on the couch. It’s all platonic (except with Skwisgaar, they’re more than friends but it’s complicated). Toki needs constant stimulation or else he’s anxious, bored, or fidgety. Being neglected made him even more clingy and now if anyone shows him an ounce of affection he is overjoyed and doesn’t want it to end. He loves long tight hugs and snuggling close to someone, glued to their side. Over the years Skwisgaar has eased up a bit and lets Toki cuddle him or hug him, they hold hands a lot when the guys aren’t around. Skwisgaar likes to play with Toki’s hair and it makes Toki the happiest guy on earth. He loves the smell of Skwisgaar’s hair and always presses his nose against his head when the cuddle.

Feel free to share any other Toki headcanons!

#metalocalypse #dethklok #toki wartooth #skwisgaar skwigelf #skwistok #we love you Toki #autistic characters #nathan explosion #pickles the drummer #william murderface #writing dump #traumagentic did #did stuff #did system

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shogunish · 3 months

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what would chat think of a sukuna x reader who's inspired by daenerys from got?

#kaf rambles #writing dump #okay but walk with me for a sec #reader who got sold to sukuna like a broodmare #reader who hardens sm they set fire to people and landmarks that wronged her #sukuna who gains an interest reader for their lack of mercy #sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader

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her-midas-touch · 4 months

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Moonlit Escapades (Part-1)

(A little bit of fun camp wolfstar: In which Remus Lupin definitely shouldn’t be out of bed and just maybe Sirius Black isn’t that annoying)

@loving-the-marauders here’s something you might like <3

There’s an insistent rapping at his window. Remus starts, bleary-eyed, tearing his eyes away from the clock on the wall, it’s outline just barely visible in the fractured moonlight pouring in through the gap in the curtains.

He squints.

Sirius Black’s wide eyes stare back at him from the other side.

“Bloody hell,” Remus scowls “You again?”

It comes out louder then he intends. The bed creaks as someone stirs in the bunk above him. Remus bites his tongue.

Sirius can’t hear him, but he grins stupidly anyway, jerking his head back, beckoning Remus to meet him outside. Then he disappears, without waiting for an answer.

That isn’t the problem. Remus knows where to find him. It’s not the first time they’ve snuck out here at camp.

Remus should know better and this is exactly the sort of stuff that he absolutely should not be doing. It’s one of his parents’ stupid summer rules. He’s been following them long enough to have them convinced that he can be trusted for a summer.

He’d had to beg for it.

But screw that, right? That’s what he’s here. Change. And anyway he can’t sleep, so.

The back door’s usually open and he already has a spare key, a wonderful little thing he’d discovered earlier in one of the dusty drawers in the abandoned looking storage units packed away at the corners of the camp grounds.

He doesn’t have to go far.

“What now, Black?” Remus crosses his arms.

Sirius clearly doesn’t appreciate the new nickname; Remus can tell that much from the way his nose wrinkles in displeasure. It’s kind of cute.

Wait. Remus gives his head a shake. Focus.

“You wanna do something?”

“Do I have a choice?” Remus huffs, glancing around impatiently. The rickety wooden roof of the abandoned shack, which they’ve snuck behind—Sirius’s idea of a hideout—makes a painful creak at the slightest gust of wind.

He’s being a little paranoid.

It’s abandoned, and rumored to be haunted—probably another lie to keep campers out—so chances are, no one’s going to sneak up on them.

“Hey.” Sirius frowned “I’m not dragging you. You didn’t have to come.”

Which is true, except, it’s kind of pathetic, imagining Sirius awkwardly standing outside his cabin and waiting, even worse if he never bothered to show.

Remus has had it happen to him enough to have the good sense not to put anyone else through it. He’s simply gracious enough to save Sirius the embarrassment. That’s all this is.

“Where’s James?”

“Said his stomach still feels funny. Matron’s been watching like a hawk, or he would’ve snuck out anyway. And Pete’s been no fun. Too tired, apparently.”

Remus is quiet for a minute.

“Where are we going?” He asks, eventually. There’s no point denying it ; He’s curious. He isn’t the only one who knows it though. Sirius smirks.

“To the lake,”

“The lake,” Remus repeats.

“Yeah,”

“What for?”

Sirius looks at him like he’s asked the dumbest question in the world.

“To swim. Duh.”

Remus blinks at him.

“You want to take a swim." Remus repeats again, slowly

"In a random-ass lake. That probably has brain eating amoeba.”

It’s not a gross exaggeration. The amount of moss and swampy plants creeping up the bottom of the bridge is indication enough of what lies there.

“It does not. Probably,”

“In the middle of the night?”

Sirius doesn’t bat an eyelash “Problem?”

Plenty actually. But that can be worried about later.

“No. Not really.” Remus grins “Bet I’ll beat you there.”

He breaks off into a run.

Sirius’s voice chases him.

“Oi, cheater!”

He’s barefoot too, minor scratches on his feet from the scattered gravel, and wet dirt clinging to his heels.

The wind is cool against his already- stinging cheeks and he laughs, because this is the most alive he’s felt.

He hears another laugh, closer by now, and he knows Sirius isn’t far behind.

He risks a look behind him, and there Sirius is, flushed and focused.

Watching him.

And that’s when Remus spectacularly trips over his feet.

Sirius’s laughs draw nearer. That bastard.

He still stops to help Remus up. Only to immediately break into a run after doing so.

“Bloody cheater,” Remus whispers under his breath.

This time, there’s no venom behind it.

#wolfstar #wolfstar fanfic #wolfstar oneshot #marauders era #sirius black #remus lupin #sirius x remus #remus x sirius #the marauders #writing dump #just silly little guys #and more obliviousness #part 2 is going to be a lot more fun imo but I want this on my blog too

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i-do-not-write · 2 years

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romance prompt starters pt. 2

“you want books? how many? screw it, i’ll buy you the whole damn store.”

“come over. clothing is optional.”

“you have so many non-sexual turn ons.”

“lemme take you out.”

“did you splash me?! oh, you’re in for it.”

“how many of my sweatshirts do you want?”

“can you just hold me for a second?”

“you give me so many butterflies just looking at you.”

“you’re the only girl/boy/person in my world.”

“when can we leave? i need you.”

“i want to dance with you.”

“you’re so pretty.”

“you look hot playing video games.”

“what do you know about loving someone.”

“i found you first and now you’re mine.”

“my heart races when i see you.”

“i’m so crazy in love with you.”

“you look so fucking perfect.”

“i know you want me.”

“i’m tired of waiting for you. i want you now.”

“you’re my only friend.”

“you have me.”

“oh you’re such a little tease.”

“i want to stay up and face time you.”

“my body craves you so much baby.”

“i’m going to kill that motherfucker.”

“you want my hand to be your new necklace?”

“can i trace your body?”

“fucking marry me.”

“i’m better than him/her/them.”

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athelonewolfuniverse · 1 year

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Art is from twitter artist @SPark845 “credit goes to = https://twitter.com/spark845/status/1637194412722626562?s=46&t=Tz1CVg6zTC2uL81wzZtssA “ from twitter please support the artist, i didn’t steal the art I wanted to share a pov fanfic which i thought while i looked at this image, so i shared it here ^_^

pairing : alhaitham x y/n fem!reader

pov: you and haitham are having a breakfast date , you reach to his house, his door was already open , "well that's really careless of him" you think. You invite yourself in and see a magnificent view. haitham didn't notice you , he was too busy whisking the egg yolk . "A smile crept up on your face." I thought we were going to order.. You lean against the doorframe admiring the view. You chuckle lightly , because he still didn't notice you. Now you had a plan to scare him, You slowly walks beside him while he was tying his loose apron and you slowly place a kiss on his cheek, he flinched. But a smile spreads across his face." You are early he says , while you hug him from behind. And I thought we were going to order from our favourite cafe." you whisper. You can see him smiling "well , I wanted to do something special for us" he says while smiling. You hold him tighter , and whisper "I love you , haitham." I love you so so much" Thank you for being you and be with me. Then he faces towards you "Y/n... you are the best thing ever happened to me , and for you I can do anything or everything, being with you is the best part of my day. So love, thank YOU for being you and accepting me as I am, I love you too, more than you can imagine. A tear roll down your cheek, He wipes it with his thumb and says don’t ever cry. I want to make you the happiest person alive, love. You place a kiss on his lips , he smiles against your lips and returns it with passion. You don’t know what good deed you did to deserve him, you smile to yourself and savour the moment you are having with him.

Cringe? probably. I am not a writer ofc but hey i had to share this ^_^

#al haitam x reader #genshin #genshin x reader #fanfiction #pov #writing dump

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lucespringstar · 4 months

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Random lore dump time about my FNaF OC Lilith while me and my mom drive home from eating dinner late at night cause she was supposed to go to work.

(This should stay mostly canon by the time I start writing and drawing comics for my AU)

So, canonically, Lilith and William were friends during high school. She was doing JROTC during those years and spent a lot of time around William due to a bad home life. She pretty much boosted his ego because she was in awe of his inherent skill and talents with robotics. By the end of high school, Lilith had developed feelings for him but already decided she was going off into the military (This is in the '60s). So she decided against it.

She left for several months, doing boot camp and eventually ending up in a war. So when she returned two years later, she was surprised to see William settling down and getting married.

>This is where those lyrics come into play<

She did attend the wedding, and she got through it, but she definitely wasn't sober by the end of William and Mrs. Afton's wedding (I haven't decided if I'll call her Clara or make a new name for her in this au yet). Lilith kept quiet and observed. She didn't want to say anything due to the fear she'd screw something up, so she swallowed her feelings and tried to be as supportive as she could.

"Luckily," she ended up going on several tours and living on base so much she hadn't returned to Hurricane for many years and was able to avoid her feelings.

A/N: Honestly, I have no idea if this makes sense. I'm half asleep, lol.

#fnaf oc #five nights at freddy's #william afton #writing #lore dump #fnaf au #writing dump #writers on tumblr

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blxxeu · 4 months

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i’ve got so much art inside of me.

so much of it that it’s running through my lungs, twisting in my stomach and exploding in my heart, buzzing through my brain and ringing in my ears.

such a pity it’s all spent on my sadness. my body aches with the wasted potential, my eyes watering with it, overflowing from every part of me.

but it is all gone at night when i cry myself to sleep or when i hide in silent corners away from the world. keeping it inside.

my art is my depression.

#writing #writing dump #word vomit #thoughts #life #art

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slxthserenade · 10 days

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You’ll never get to know the hand

who wakes, twitches, at the thought of holding your face.

It doesn’t know how to caress, it knows nothing of softness.

All it has ever done is tear, drag, stab with its ink

into pages upon pages,

in a frantic attempt at writing you.

It can write of caressing

with all the flowery metaphors of all the great novels.

But you ?

It only ever trembles before you.

#al writing #writing dump #im gonna be so real with you I hate this.#its missing smth or its wrong altogether #I hate traditional verse poetry man #I tried to give each cut its own meaning but they still feel random you see what i mean #i rly tried ok. i tried.#BUT IT DOESNT FLOW MUSICALLY #whatever #free verse is where it’s at !!

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kekeroroppi · 8 months

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sometimes i think back to how hard i tried to get everyone to like me in my formative years - i always said yes, i never wanted to go against someone, even if they were wrong, i pretended to dislike many things and people just so that a few people could like me. i want to hold my younger self and give her a hug because her efforts were never futile, but instead taught her to be who i am today. it’s so funny how of all the people i’ve met in my adulthood so far, everyone has always embraced who i am and all of me and my weirdness. why did we hold such harsh standards on each other as kids? it’s funny how at 22, i finally am able to do the things my younger self would have never imagined and i’d like to think she would look up to me the same way i look at her.

#web weaving #my words #words words words #writing #writing dump

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steelthroat · 4 months

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I feel like I should have done this at the end of 2023 or smth, but maybe not.

I just took a picture of my desktop, and this is the work of one year, almost 200k words of ideas and wips that I wasn't able to finish and publish through the year now passed. But I don't want to look at this and say it's a failure, maybe it is but it's also the foundation for all the things I'm gonna do, continue and possibly finish in this new year.

And lol, silly me for not writing some of the ideas down because I honestly don't remember what some of these documents were about - damn.

Writers, write your ideas and plots down because the brain is stupid, but y'all already know this, don't ya 💀

So, like... this is my 2023 writing recap, yayyy. 44 wips (and some more that are just titles/ideas and I haven't started yet) and 5 published works.

If someone is curious about something hit me up... I'll always answer as fast as I can unless I'm sleeping, so yeah. We'll see what happens in 2024... so now.

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foxtricksterwriting · 20 days

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Mao Drabble; Looks

Author's Note: Asahi was hard for me to write, man

Tags: @mata-aetara-if

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Mao glances across his bedroom, towards the plush seat Asahi sits on. He freezes at what he sees; dark eyes focused solely and fully on him, soft with affection, a serene little smile gracing his lips as he leans against the wall. Mao feels his face heating up quickly and his foot subconsciously twitches. “Asahi, stop looking at me like that,” He says gruffly, hurriedly going back to whatever he was supposed to be doing. Asahi’s mouth makes a ‘o’ then he flashes a somewhat bashful smile. “Like what?” He asks as he shifts, making the bed squeak slightly.

“Like you love me,” He says before he can stop himself. Their eyes widen simultaneously. Mao bites his upper lip and covers his mouth with a hand as he tries to will himself into disappearing. Asahi’s flushed by now, the confession taking him by surprise. The two sit in awkward silence for a couple of beats. “But I do love you,” Asahi says finally, softly. The brunette whips to look at him, wild surprise caught in his eyes. He can’t believe he heard so much affection seeping out with those simple words, he wants to vomit. It makes him want to snuggle into the man's shoulder and rip his own hair out at the same time. It hurts, but he needs it desperately. He resents the soft look the ravenette is currently giving him. Asahi sees the mixed expression he’s making and rushes to try to smooth it over, “I’m sorry, I didn’t--”

“Stop talking, we’ve already said too much to each other to try to take any of it back,” Mao snaps. He takes a deep, stabilizing breath then asks “How long?”

“What?” Asahi asks, raising a brow. “How long… have you loved me?” He clarifies, eyes squinted and brows furrowed. The ravenette stops to think, looking off to the side. Then, he says, “.....A year or so now? Probably longer than that.”

Mao sighs, running a hand down his face. “....Fuck. I just…” He struggles to voice his thoughts. “It’s okay if you don’t love me back, Mao,” he says, worry staining his mannerisms. “That’s the problem here, Asahi. It’s not that I don’t love you, I just…. Don’t know if I’m ready….. For this,” His voice is breathy, he looks just as worried as the man across the room. Silence descends on the room, bordering on unbearably uncomfortable. “Can…. can we revisit this conversation? When I’m… ready?” Mao finally asks. Asahi immediately nods, “Of course! That’s okay, take your time, please.”

“I’m sorry, Asahi.”

“Don’t apologize, I don’t want to make you do something you’re uncomfortable with.”

“......Will you wait for me? Until then?”

“I’d wait forever for you if I have too, Mao.”

#writing dump #fanfic #MC: Mao #drabble #CH: Asahi #mata aetara if #barely proofread #possibly ooc?#Idk #See the author's note lol

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toki-is-the-king · 5 months

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Toki and Skwisgaar as your partner head canons:

I’m sick so me and Toki have been making these hehe sorry they’re all over the place. These are gender neutral as well so you can imagine any gender as their s/o <3

Toki:

Although Toki is way more childish, he likes to take on the caretaker roll in the relationship (when he’s not age regressed, then he needs to be taken care of). Toki likes to wake up early and get your coffee and bring it to you while you’re still asleep. He’d wake you up by kissing you on the cheek and attacking you in hugs and kisses.

Toki is very much into serving his partner. He shows his love by acts of service and encouraging words. He remembers the small things about you like your favorite color or your first kiss, your favorite childhood memory and how toasted you like your toast. Toki will definitely stop you to tie your shoes for you if he notices they’ve come undone, and he loves to open doors for you or carry all the heavy bags after you’ve gone shopping together. He’s more traditional than the other guys and wants to marry you so he can spoil you and shower you with his love every day, not that he doesn’t already. Toki is already thinking of marriage on the second date and says ‘I love you’ first. He wants you to think he’s the strongest and most capable person ever and show you he can do anything- but but the longer you’re with him you’ll start to see he can’t always be the strong one, he will most likely need you to be strong half the time, if not more.

Toki is a sweetheart but he does have his moments of suppressed rage and it scares him more than it does you. His ptsd often manifests in anger and lots of yelling and tears. He would never take his anger out on you, it’s always on himself (or drunk guys screaming too loudly at concerts) but whenever you find him with bloody knuckles or bruises and cuts he’s inflicted on himself, it breaks your heart and he feels too ashamed to speak to you while he’s huddled on the floor in a corner somewhere.

Toki will often shut down and goes catatonic after his episodes and you’ll have to make sure to be very gentle with him. Once he’s stopped dissociating as severely, he’s usually fallen into age regressing and needs lots of gentle coaxing and reassurance. Even when he’s regressed, Toki still wants to make you proud of him and show you he is a good partner. He’s even more affectionate to you and shares his favorite stuffed animals with you, pleading with you to cuddle with him in his bed that’s way too small for two adults, but you do it anyway and hold him while he watches cartoons. He will want you to sleep with him until he’s feeling safe enough to be an adult again, and when he wakes up as his adult self with you beside him, he often breaks down and thanks you for staying with him, constantly apologizing for his actions but you always assure him that you love him no matter what. With some persuasion from you, Toki might even attend some therapy sessions, but once you tell him about couples therapy then he’s completely hooked- he never knew you could take your partner with you and he loves it. He spends most of the sessions holding your hands and listening to you talk and smiling every time you look at him. When it’s his turn to speak he usually spends most of the time saying how much he loves you, and when he finally begins to open up about his past and the child abuse he endured, you are right there with him, holding him and telling him he is so brave and it allows him to revisit the traumatic memories without fully losing it.

Therapy helps Toki understand himself better and that he’s not a bad person or too damaged to be loved. He often blames himself for the abuse he suffered as a child but he learns to accept himself and you are so proud of him for being brave and facing this fears. It makes him so happy and he loves to hear how proud of him you are.

Sex with Toki is very tender and sweet. When he is in the mood it’s amazing, and you’re still shocked he’s never been very sexually active, because the groupies are missing out. But most of the time Toki prefers hand holding, kissing, hugging, and romance. He was so sheltered growing up that he didn’t learn much about sex at all, but he loved romance books and poems and all he ever wanted was true love like in the fairy tale books he would read. He loves to do the cheesiest things like putting rose petals on your bed and then lying in the middle of it with nothing on. (Skwisgaar taught him to do it and he saved it to use on the perfect person).

Another thing Toki absolutely loves is bathing together. He will run you a huge bubble bath and adds all kinds of bath bombs and flowery scents to help you relax and gets your favorite body wash that he will rub all over you. He lights candles and has the Klokateers open a bottle of wine for you both to share (he can’t figure out how to open the wine bottles). As the two of you bathe together he’d start to give you a massage and kiss you all over. Toki loves giving hickies and leaving marks everywhere, and sometimes he gets too carried away but it’s only because he loves you so much and he wants everyone to know that you are his. After the bubble bath, Toki wraps you up in heated towels and takes you back to his room where he’s set up an indoor date night with snacks and more wine and your favorite movie on his iPad. He always has a touch of innocence to his actions and it’s so sweet.

Bonus for cheesy romance: Toki is the type of guy who buys you those teddy bears holding hearts that you get at CVS. He buys you a stuffed animal for every occasion and you cherish each one. He gets so excited when he stays over at your house for the night and sees the teddy bears piled on your bed.

Skwisgaar:

Skwisgaar was extremely against relationships at first and only wanted a one night stand, but once he met you, he fell in love and he couldn’t lose you. He’d never been in love and though it scared him he never wanted you to leave him.

Skwisgaar would appear to be more of the dominant type considering he’s the guitar god and usually thinks very highly of himself, but that’s not always the case. At first, he tries to force himself to be the strong caretaker type but he’s emotionally unavailable and too detached to know how to do any of that. He’s also not as traditionally ‘masculine’ as he tries to play off. Once he gets comfortable with you (it takes a long time) and lets his walls down just slightly, you’ll see a completely different side of him. Though he tries to hide it because the rest of Dethklok make fun of him. He’s the one who reminds you to do a skin care routine or take off your make up before going to bed, and if you forget you will wake up with Skwisgaar on top of you, scrubbing your face with make up wipes and lathering it with moisturizer. Skwisgaar will definitely do facials with you and likes getting pedicures or having his hair brushed when he’s falling asleep. He likes to be told how pretty he is and that he’s beautiful, he loves compliments more than anything. He’s also very into being taken care of, and won’t admit it for awhile, but it is obvious from the start that he likes to be treated as royalty and spoiled.

As a one night stand he is standoffish afterwards and might not remember someone’s name- but as a boyfriend Skwisgaar is surprisingly very clingy, but in a subtle way so he doesn’t scare you off. He doesn’t have a lot of people he can depend on or let his guard down with, so once you’ve made it on his list of safe people, he always wants to be with you and always wants your undivided attention. He gets very offended and upset if he feels ignored, so you’ll have to make sure to reassure him you aren’t abandoning him if you don’t respond to his texts right away. Skwisgaar has deep rooted abandonment issues and surprisingly low self esteem when it comes to himself without his guitar skills. When he’s not on stage being worshipped like a god, he’s very insecure and anxious about himself as person. His ego needs constant validation and without it he feels worthless. He has many narcissistic tendencies but it doesn’t make him bad, and you are always so patient with him. You understand that he’s been seriously neglected and promise him you won’t ever do that to him, he finds it hard to believe but the sincerity in your voice makes his eyes light up.

He’s never been genuinely loved so he’s in constant competition with everyone for your approval, and if you show more attention, even platonically, to the anyone else, he notices instantly and gets upset and will sulk for hours until you ask him what’s wrong. He worries you’ll leave him if he’s not the best and he often takes the smallest things very personally. His emotions are very fragile though he tries to pretend he has none. When Skwisgaar is upset he thinks he’s great at hiding it but everyone will know when he’s having a bad day- he’s a bit of a drama queen but you love him any way.

When you’re around other people he often puts on a persona that he’s better than everyone around him and even though he wants you to love him, he can be a huge dick if there’s a crowd of people watching and he wants to impress them. There are times where he’s too blunt or rude to you and it doesn’t occur to him how mean it sounded until you tell him. Once he realizes he’s hurt your feelings he feels awful and will do anything to make it up to you. Skwisgaar might come off as being very unfeeling (he is quite the opposite), but he cares deeply about his friends and even more for his partner, and is always internally panicked over losing you. He can be mature if he really tries, and will work to change his bitchy behavior just for you (he refuses to be a toxic person like his mother).

Skwisgaar also likes to take care of you financially and will always leave you little ‘I love you’ notes with a wad of cash inside encouraging you to buy yourself something nice. He loves buying you expensive bouquets of flowers any chance he gets.

Skwisgaar is a very sexual person and he shows love through intimacy. He’s the best sexual partner you’ll ever have and he always makes sure he’s doing everything to your liking. It gets him off to know you’re enjoying yourself because of him and that alone is enough to satisfy him. If you have anything you’re specifically into he will bend over backwards to satisfy you and is never afraid to engage in the kinky stuff you’re into just to please you. He also has his own sexual desires that he is usually so up front about, but when it’s with you he actually becomes very shy and you’ll have to force it out of him. He’s never had sex with someone he actually loves or with someone that actually loves him back. Whenever you tell him you love him he almost cries, and the first few times you told him was while you were having sex. He had to stop everything immediately and left the room so he didn’t cry in front of you. It was awkward and he was ashamed of his actions, but he wasn’t about to cry and anxiously puke all over himself in front of you. He has a lot of issues but he’s working on them because you encourage him.

Skwisgaar has moments where he is too overwhelmed by your affection and doesn’t feel he deserves it, so he will begin to distance himself and it only makes him feel worse. He will only open up about it after you pry it out of him and it usually ends with him being pissy that you forced him to communicate healthily, but then you let him be the little spoon and cuddle him for hours and he’s fine afterwards. You’d never met anyone more touch starved than Skwisgaar- which was impossible to believe because he has sex nearly every day. But it wasn’t enough and he secretly longed for gentle affection.

Skwisgaar is so busy and focused on playing guitar that he forgets to eat and drink like 80% of the time. If he doesn’t have you lovingly scolding him he won’t remember to eat. He was annoyed the first few times, but after awhile it makes him feel cared about, and in a weird way, fills the void that his parents never did. His dad wasn’t there and his mother never cared about what he was doing and so he had to fend for himself. You make sure he never has to feel that way ever again and treat him like a perfect princess because he deserves it.

#metalocalypse #dethklok #my writing #dethklok head canons #toki wartooth #skwisgaar skwigelf #dethklok headcanon #I love them #writing dump #headcanon #let me know if you guys want more #I love writing them

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