#writen by teens

[downtonabbeyrewatch2020]

play at my local indie theatre that by all means looks really cool and up my alley. however the lead actor is the kid who kinda stalked me in elementary school

#Play Writen by an autistic guy about an autistic teen and talks about the problems with ABA #Vs matth*w #we were both kids when he was really weird about it and are now both adults but I don’t wanna see the guy lmao

[generalforthetree]

This is a vent! Please dni if you don’t want to deal with me having sad boi hours

This sweet sweet child didn’t deserve all the shit they went through. No child deserves it. Nobody deserves to be locked alone with their thoughts trapped in a body that isn’t right.

No child deserves to have their childhood taken away by the people who swore they would be good enough.

No child deserves to parent their parents. No child should need to keep multiple people on this earth without even knowing their faces. But someone had to, and nobody would.

I’ve lost to many friends. I’ve lost my childhood.

People tell me I should forgive, but how can I forgive if they will never let me heal?

It may be better now, but I owe it to that little girl, I’m getting out and I’m finding a place that loves me. The child inside of me is still broken and scared, that may never change. But one day maybe the pain will lessen, and living won’t be so hard.

I’m going home. Wherever that may be.

#being a genderless blob is kinda difficult when assholes like to stick religion down my throat #and trying to be the only functioning adult at 7? 0/10 would not recommend #that shit sucked #been trying to teach my mom how to be a decent person #it’s going… well #I think #she’s getting there #I matured very very quickly #so now I’m at the emotional maturity of a 23 y/o when I’m significantly less then that #I’ve done the teen angst #let’s be honest that was boring and sad #at least I perfected the art of dissociation #man I love being the family disappointment #which is honestly quite a feat #considering everything they’ve done #if I say anything I’m going to be writen out of the hypothetical will so fast it’s not even funny #why can’t people be decent fucking human beings? #oh god that’s a lot of tags #whoops #oh well #hhhhhhhhhhhg

[maehemthemisfit]

★ 𝐄𝐔𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐘𝐏𝐓𝐔𝐒 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐒 𝟐𝐊 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓 ! ★

plant a dream and watch the story bloom . . . welcome to eucalyptus dreams ! in honor of hitting 2k, this is an event where you get to interact/roleplay with a few characters from the fandoms i write for !

📘: STATUS : OPEN 🫐: TYPE : INTERACTIVE 💙: ENDING : TO BE ANNOUNCED

★﹕WHY DON'T YOU . ˚ ⊹ // RULES

please make sure that you mention somewhere in your ask the character you're talking to and if it's a specific version make the timeline known (ex: teen!gojo).

you can send in asks as other canon characters, ocs, or ask something that isn't plot orientated/based on you playing a character.

if a character is responding to a plot orientated ask involving a non canon character/oc, only gender neutral terms will be used (unless stated otherwise) for the most part and everything will be writen in second person, so mainly-if not all-terms will be "you" and "your".

i don't mind you detaling some of the actions of the characters i'm writing for and vaguely mentioning things the character has said, but typing out the character's actual dialogue is my job !

i will not mention your oc's physical appearance unless you bring attention to them (eye color, hair length, afrocentric features, etc).

no incest, stepcest, teacher/student or minor/adult romantic relationships, pregnacies (parenthood i can get by), explicit material, or anything progressively leading up to an explicit act. some suggestiveness however is fine.

if i answer your ask and you're uncomfortable with it please let me know!

if you don't want to see the event, you can block #eucalyptus dreams event.

if you have any questions comments or concerns about the rules feel free to shoot me an ask !

★﹕LOVE ME ? . ˚ ⊹ // CHARACTERS

Genshin: Lyney, Freminet, Heizou, Tighnari, Xiao, Wanderer/Scara, Kazuha

Jujutsu Kaisen: Gojo Satoru, Itadori Yuji, Sukuna

Danganronpa: Nagito Komeada, Kokichi Oma (closed for the moment)

if the event goes well then in 3 days the danganronpa characters will be open. this is partially to control the influx of asks i get (hopefully) but you can still send in asks for closed fandoms and have your ask queued for when they do open!

please keep in mind that these are a lot of characters and i may get a lot of asks for multiple ones, so bare with me when it comes to responding to all of them. other factors that may slow the process is my lack of experience / comfortability writing for certain characters, but I will try my best to make each interaction as in character as possible!

I will not respond to asks that breaks the rules or anything that makes me uncomfortable.

#eucalyptus dreams event #2k event #2k followers #2k celebration #genshin x reader #genshin rp #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin impact x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen x reader #danganronpa x reader #sukuna x reader #gojo x reader #yuji x reader #tighnari x reader #jjk rp #lyney x reader #freminet x reader #heizou x reader #xiao x reader #wanderer x reader #scaramouche x reader #kazuha x reader #satoru gojo x reader #[💫] mae events

[scotty-thorn]

Finally i finished my sketchbook spread and can show "The light is in the eyes of a gazer".

I also wrote some rhymes you can read at the page near - they writen with pink and green. English is not my native language, but i hope no critical grammar mistakes in it.

Also pages one by one if you want them for some reasons:

And some glitchy versions because i adore this kind of stuff sinse i was teen and because more madness for the sake of the Dark place and Dark presence.

#alan wake #alan wake 2 #remedy games #alan wake fanart #ilkka villi #the dark place #the dark presence #our favourite tortured writer #artists on tumblr #traditional art #fanart #graphic art #sketchbook #sketchbook spread #illustration #my art #art

[a-strangers-thoughtss]

A little obsessed with apocalyptic shit rn

Just imagine, post Vecna. They’ve defeated him after years of apocalyptic Hawkins, and now the kids are just trying to get back to normal

Hawkins has been run down for almost 3 years now, and it’s being revamped as a new town for poorer family’s with no where else to go.

Everyone’s trying to get back to normal, after living on edge for three years, never knowing when the Upsidedown is gonna rear its ugly head.

Everyone has scars, internal and external.

They stick together, bc they’re all traumatized and are the only other people who know what they’ve gone through.

(In including Argyle in this bc I love him to death)

The teens have finally been able to go back to collage

The kids have been learning through books scavenged from the broken library, along with textbooks and little contraptions scavenged from the school, so they’re behind and trying to catch up.

One day they head into the city with a handful of fake IDs, some of the cash the government basically bribed and thanked them with, and a want to act normal for just one day.

Some of them have obvious scars,

Mike, Max, and Dustin have ones that you can’t easily hide

Some of them are less obvious,

Will, Lucas, and Els are easily covered with long sleeves

But they’re all jumpy and hyper-aware of everything that’s going on around them.

People take notice, because they’re definitely an odd group.

(I’m def gonna write some of this, maybe even how it ends up playing out in this version of events, but rn I’m planning on smth writen from a strangers pov, looking in and at how weird they would all seem)

Idk if any of this rambley mess made sense but 🤷

#byler #<— target audience #stranger things #will byers #el hopper #mike wheeler #lucas sinclair #dustin henderson #max mayfield #elumax #post apocalyptic #apocalypse #just a bunch of traumatized kids #the party

[dapper-lil-arts]

I have a Question.

What is your most forgotten oc that you made but has been forgotten by time.

thats a difficult question, cause i been making ocs and stories and even dnd campaigns since i was a teen; if i had to guess, i'd say that the ocs that i made at age 16 count, they were mostly all human, and after finishing the story i basicaly abandoned it, not interested in keeping up with it, 'cause it was writen by a 16 year old, lmao

here's an old drawpile that showcases some of that stuff!

#drawpile #ask #ask doodle

[xxbun-artxx]

what would you do with Movie Lloyd?

*CLAP* *CLAP* Mon ami

Lemme tell you about about the movie work I am doing

So I mentioned before that I am currently working on different ninjago projects, some are public like my listed aus and some are private (one is personal). One of the projects I have is a movie rewrite with multiple sequels.

This project did take the back burner because of 2 things, one is the fact that I don't have time and the second is the fault of my personal project. The personal project is going season by season and l'm currently at S2-3, which means all the projects that are later on has to wait.

recently I did think about just working on the movie rework on and off, because, While yes, the movie is between S7 and S8 it is it's own cannon. I should be able to least finish the art for it. 

I feel like the plot I have in mind deserves it's own post so I won't go to too much detail on the lore. I just want you to know I'm keeping the core idea of the movie but You know not writen like a teen drama Lol.

None of the designs are final but if you're interested in my ninjas designs let me Know, I have sketches I can clean up. I cleaned up my Lloyd and Koko designs for this post and I highlighted some of the differencess between my usual Lloyd and M! Lloyd.

I wanted them to look diffrent so they won't be mistaken with eachother, I will do the same for the other character's designs.

note about M! Lloyd's age, he is 16 going on 17, Nya is 16, kai and jay are 17 and cole and zane are 18. all are in the same class except the 18 year olds. I like to Imagine they're all in the same club or something like that.

I would love to share more but I don't have anything that isn't spoilers but I will answer any question ya'll have as long it isn't spoilers.

Imk what you think, the movie was something

Bun, out

#ninjago #ninjago fanart #ninjago lloyd #ninjago art #ninjago bun designs #ninjago bun au #ninjago au #ninjago movie #lego ninjago #the lego ninjago movie

[starynightandblackskys]

So not only @tiredsn0w fetishezs black people but they need to fetishez mental illness as well!!!

Wtf why are people ok with this?!? How is this beavior ok ?? Racism and ablesim is NOT ok even if you mask it as "I want to make everyone feel included" this is not ok.

Plus no 6118 is writen and drawn as a child/teen that is creepy to say the least please stop.

#scp 6118 #scp author

[misa032]

Jeff the killer - realistic look - misao32 (the creepypasta was probably writen by a teenager that just wanted to write some creepy story but as a teen I don't think so we are aware of real biological stuff that went bad in jeff story, let be honest at the time we thought that Jeff lookin hot af bc that's how they potray him at the time lol) 1. Jeff burned his skin with bleach which caused white skin. Wrong, bleach causing with fire a really bad skin burns which after healing look like the texture of a ,,hornet's nest" and gets yellowish and red after time not white. 2. ,,His hair got black" his hair would go to bald real quick bc of fire that he got on but let's say that's he have hair it would be more bleached blonde bc of bleach that he poured on himself duh 3. His eyelids were burned of to never blink, well he burned them whitch could never be done by just lighter and even if his eyeballs would melt or pop.

#jeff the killer #creepypasta #uncanny valley

[bane-huntress]

Yu Yu Hakusho – Live action

Okay… I liked it… was there problems? Yes, but it was done by people who loved the anime/manga and have for years! And we know how rare that is!

So watch it if you have seen the anime, or see it if you haven’t, then go watch the anime!

So… Spoiler? YES!

This is also writen by an insane woman! enjoy!

Ok. So the LA (Live Action) covered 2 main arks of the anime, 1st and the 3rd, it does miss out one of my fave arks of the anime, but that’s fine, they really did a good job of melding them together. But it does mean we don’t get to see Hiei go green and get eyes, or Kurama stepping in and getting stabbed >_<.

Yusuke: I liked his char, but he never stops being ‘moody teen’ and his neck must have hurt from being stuck out all day, I think he breaks a smile once, which is a shame for such a sassy funny character.

Kuwabara: At least they found a tall guy, and he did a really good job, he was funny, and even though he’s not my fav chara, I actually liked him in this LA. Especially when he was left to fight to save Keiko & Yukina.

Kurama: (aka Shuichi) Now, I do love this ancient fox. He was fine in this LA, he was meant to be almost emotionless, which he was. Though I didn’t like the bit where he used the mirror, it didn’t need the graphics, it’s an emotional moment, where Yusuke is also giving his life to save Kurama’s mother, and it’s a HUGE bonding moment between them that never really happened, but also, the mirror never said he was letting them off the sacrifice, it was just kinda ignored >_<.

Hiei: he wasn’t short enough, and even though all the wigs were gods awful, there was no white blaze in his hair. We also didn’t see him go all green and covered in eyes, so we missed out on learning more about his personality. He was just moody and quiet, though his fight is good, and he has a couple of good lines, other than that? You can forget he’s there :S which is strange for the guy’s who’s the 2nd favourit.

Yoko Kurama; Oh… ohhh… tehe. We will forget the tail, it was a little too accurate, BUT… oh how lovely he was! His fight was watched a few times. And they plans were lovely and accurate! Even though we shouldn’t be seeing him come out in that arch, we can forgive him coming out without help XD.

Keiko : She’s fine, just like the anime, they didn’t make her a soft weakling, she sticks up for herself when she needs to!

Yukina: /sigh… pathetic, sure her anime self is a little weak, but she’s more naïve that pathetic… also… some people really shouldn’t get lip filler, poor actress.

Botan: She’s not tall enough, but she they do keep her sister personality to the boys and Yusuke, which I liked… but no broom! >_<

Koenma (Enma Jr): It was a shame they couldn’t afford the CG to make him a baby XD.. but they got his adult form down, so I’ll let it off… BUT… I missed George >_<

Genkai : Just like in the anime, she’s also one of my favourite chara! She’s so old and cranky, and they did a great job in the LA of finding a woman who could pull it off! shame she wasn’t in it more >_<

The rest of the bad guys were also surprisingly accurate and true to the original material, like older Taguro, the GD budget also went on him, even if he looked like Robert Carlyle half the time.

Conclusion?: I enjoyed it! It was fun, it stuck to what it used of the original works. Apart from the 1st true fight, the fight scenes were fun and engaging. So I have no idea what it would be like to watch for people who’s never seen YYH, but if it gets even a few people watching the anime and loving it, that’s good enough for me ^_^

(PS: ATM in the UK, it’s streaming on ‘Crunchyroll’ I know it’s on their site, not so sure about it being there through amazon prime.)

Thanks for reading! ^_^

#yu yu hakusho #yu yu hakusho live action #hiei #kurama #youko kurama #yusuke #Kuwabara

[suitesamba]

Secret Snarry Swap 2022 Recs

The fial Secrety Snarry Swap posted in December anonymously and author reveals went up a couple weeks ago. I had some clear favorites in this one, and had a fest entry of my own which I’ve incldued. 

Foolish Wand Waving by NecromanticNoir  19,092 words Explicit

The fest opened with this one, which hit nearly all the tropes. Mind the warnings as you proceed and if you dont know anything about OnlyFans (I was in that category and watched a Documentary about it after reading this!) hang on to your seats. It’s funny, surprising, and despitre being a non-magical AU, full of magic. Excellent writing and story-crafting, and I especially enjoyed the dialogue. 

Summary:  Harry Potter has an OnlyFans. Severus, only knowing it's a platform where you can post videos and people pay you, makes an educational one for 'Potions'. He is quite shocked when, in a bout of curiosity, he subscribes to Harry - and hears his own voice in the background of... rather different content.

Friends of Dorothy by Writcraft    22,000 words Explicit

Another excellent fic by this always satisfying author. It’s very Harry-Severus centrc, though it features a couple of really good original characters.  My comment:  “Perfect. Excellent writing and has all the elements I love in a good snarry - great OCs, good dialogue, believable character growth and that simmering connection between Harry and Severus. Couldn't put this one down.”

Summary:  When Harry Potter sees Severus Snape on a date with another wizard it sets him on a journey of self-discovery that leads to the Friends of Dorothy Detective Agency and a Niffler called Toto.

Pipe Dreams by Nesting Hedwig  12,874 words, Teen and up

This one brought back visions of my dad on his back under the bathroom sink trying vaiently to fix the leacky pipes.  And if THAT’s not a reason to read a fic, what is? 

Another well-writen, original fic which is very Harry/Severus centric and is really their re-introduction to each other. Leaves us with a lot of promise and hope. 

Summary:  Just before closing time on Christmas Eve, Harry Potter stopped to pick up an order from the village plumbing supply shop. The last person he ever expected to meet in one of the aisles was Severus Snape.

The Private Collection of S. Snape by PinaNaponi  6336 words  Explicit

A 5X fic in which Severus spends a lot of time watching Harry have sex and then finally gets to have sex with Harry.  The story is well-constructed, the sex is hot and the pacing good. As always, mind the warnings.

Summary:  Severus likes to watch. Potter doesn't seem to mind. Or: Five times Severus witnesses Potter get railed, and the one time he finally gets to do the railing.

Stasis by Avioleta  12,206 words  Explicit

Avioleta is one of my favorite authors, and she once again produced a story that pulled me in. The story takes place at Grimmauld Place just after the war, with Harry coming and going on Auror business and Severus whiling away the hours until he can return to Hogwarts and definitely not thinking about Harry. Excellent writing, as always.

My comment:   Achingly, amazingly perfect. I loved reading every word of this fic -it felt so intimate, so personal. Sparse and full at the same time. Gorgeous.

Summary:  After the war, Severus Snape recuperates at Grimmauld Place.

And finally - my entry:

Spy Glass by Suitesamba  18,135 words  Explicit

I wrote this one because I couldn’t get the prompt out of my head:  Severus's new job in insurance results in him having to trail Quidditch player!Harry around to assess the international Seeker for Harry's insurance renewal.

This one is all about the humor, with Severus masquerading as a female reporter, some “boy and his broom” innuendo, unlicensed sex therapy, Quidditch god Harry and a bit of fun with George and Angelina.

Summary:  England wants to insure star Seeker Harry Potter and his fabulous broom. Enter Severus Snape, wizarding investigator extraordinaire, ready to calculate risk and assess value. Tailing Harry Potter turns out to be the job of his dreams, though he wishes it could be done without the disguise. A tale of a man’s obsession, another man’s obsession, and a heartwarming ending where everyone ultimately gets what they want – or what they need.

#snarry #harry potter #severus snape #secret snarry swap #snape/potter #harry/severus

[lnfopl]

A reminder that there exists a very close universe to ours where instead of Adrien being a traumataised-yes-baby-boy was named Felix and looked like Lelouch vi Britannia and possibly if writen by Astruc was also a traumatised-yes-edgy-teen

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug and chat noir #ladybug and cat noir #adrien agreste #felix agreste #chat noir

[lola-andheruniverse]

hi hi, have a rec possibly for WIP saturday or our turn sunday! i re-read coffee & pies after you rec'd it last week and realized that one part of it (the daryl/merle subplot) kind of reminds me of rough & tumble by iliveatlast on ao3/9 lives. it's an au where daryl meets carol when she's working the night shift at an urgent care after merle breaks his arm, and from there we see them slowly building a relationship (btw the two of them and also sophia!!) and grappling with the legacies/cycles of abuse. i feel like i've read a ton of non-zombie aus where carol is still with ed and daryl saves her from the abusive relationship, but i've never actually seen it handled the opposite way before - even in stories like coffee & pies, merle is very much the b or c plot, and i love seeing carol be the one who has clawed her way out already and is pulling daryl with her - she's not a damsel in distress, canon has made that clear. it's updated decently regularly and currently at almost 100k so even though it's not complete i think it's def worth a read!! i also have to say, i'm a sucker for sophia - more time for our girl, gone too soon!! - and the relationship btw her and daryl in this fic is so beautifully drawn and delicate. and her and carol - breaks my heart, so loving and caring and makes the loss of her in the show hurt 10x as much. the author has a couple other aus that are ZA aus where sophia lives and i love that version of her sophia too - slingshot wielding badass in training! so just some recs for you if you want/need them. thanks for doing these lists, i'm really enjoying being reintroduced to fics i haven't read in a while and digging into some fics that are brand new to me!!!

Hi, giveusthesun! Thank you so much for taking time to rec a caryl fic to us all. First, let me say that I agree with your reflection about how fic writers can get a same plot/prompt and, working with the same characters, create very different, but equally excellent, stories. I'm currently reading Rough and Tumble too and I'm very happy to see it recommended by you. Writen by @iliveatlast, you can find it on both 9Lives and AO3. Summary: "How are people gonna sign your cast?" the girl asks. "If it's all black?" "Um. Dunno. S’okay,” Daryl says awkwardly when it becomes clear she’s waiting for some kind of response. “Ain’t like - don’t really think nobody’ll wanna sign it anyway. So." Instead of getting the kid to let up, this statement seems to somehow capture her interest. She uncurls in the chair a little, looking at him with a wide-open face. “Why not?" But he’s saved from having to answer that by Carol the desk lady, who breaks into a little half-run when she sees Daryl waiting. “Sorry, sorry - just had to step away for a moment, sorry about that, Daryl.” “S’fine,” Daryl mumbles. She doesn’t have to apologize to him for taking a piss or whatever, good Lord.

Rating: T / Teen and Up Audiences Word count: 92107 (18 chapters of ?) Published: December 02, 2022 - WIP Rough and Tumble is a story reflects on how complex abuse is by shining light on Daryl and Merle's very difficult and violent relationship with great detail. If Daryl's your favorite TWD character, you'll love how iliveatlast writes him - it's just really well done. Despite dealing with heavy themes, this is fic is also very endearing and sweet (Daryl and Sophia's bonding make me smile every single chapter). Dear fellow caryler, go and give this fic a chance if you have the time. As always, leave the author some kind of feedback to let them know that you appreciate their work and creativity. Love and kindness makes all the difference in having a positive fandom experience! Caryling on to our next rec!

#caryl #caryl positivity #caryl fic rec #caryl on #caryl fanfiction #caryl fandom #your turn sunday #my fic recs #our fic recs

[nenee-blog]

Teen Wolf Garou

😁 Garou is a teen wolf.

Nagi got that t-shirt on a flea market. She couldn't resist. He wears it with proud. It's a present from his babe.

Today Nagi is on a shoot. She has got a role in a new brand TV serie. And Garou goes wherever she goes. So, even he 's not accredited to access to the tv studio, he always gets the way in. He's a devoted boyfriend. Meanwhile, Bang is losing his patience with Garou. The boy shouldn't waste so much time with his girlfriend, the final boss is coming! He should get back with his training. Garou's answer is always the same: he will run things his way.

This is a little glimpse from my Garou's doujin. I have several chapters writen but I'm very very slow drawing them...oh, that's painful!!! *__* so I post these lil moments because I need to feed my mind with some Garou's stuff.

About the T-shirt Garou's t-shirt is directly inspired by 1985 movie poster "Teen Wolf" starring by the amazing Michael J.Fox

Watch the movie. You'll be back to 80s XD

Català: aargh, de debó que em puteja molt no saber-me explicar en anglès tan bé com voldria...Bé, si algú enten el català, benvingut/da XD

nenée

#garou the monster #loup garou #opm garou #one punch man garou #garou opm #garou #garou x reader #GarouxNagi #nenee #doujin #fancomic #couple #teen wolf #michael j fox #80s #garou the hero hunter #garou the human monster #garou fanart #garou fancomic

[lyxthen]

Extremely mildly niche academic-ish rambling ahead. Might wanna skip this one. It is long and boring

One thing that does make me happy is the Latinoamerican Literary Boom was so big it actually went on to be translated in other languages. There are still authors that I feel need to have their works translated (mostly women, I wonder why) but many of the video essayist I watch keep mentioning Borges in their videos, and truly I can't blame them because his work is rad. I don't know about him as a person but he lives 30 layers of post ironic meta fantasy or some shit like that. Cortazar is really cool also. In terms of living authors I really like Juan Villoro, his writing style is very fun. The Wild Book is a children's book about literary theory, like, Theory of Reception, Death of the Author, stuff like that. It was a really fun read as a child but the themes are interesting as well.

I feel like, I don't know, it's so hard to find Latin American fantasy books these days, or at least they are not as available. The YA genre is dominated by books originally writen in English or on books written in Spain (think Laura Gallego, which I just found out has a Netflix series made out of her most famous series of novels, but I am derailing) with the exception of Benito Taibo, who is Mexican, and has one (1) high fantasy trilogy that is kinda mid. The ideas were great, but they could've been expanded, you know? Camino a Sognum had so much potential, and you can *see* that it was inspired by classic epic fantasy like Earthsea, but it needed some more *spark* to actually work. I have not read Normal Person, but I plan to. Maybe it is better made?

And it's funny, because a book like Mexican Gothic, that was written in English, is so darn good! But only if you read it *in English* because the Spanish translation did this thing where they try to "neutralize" the accent and manerismd of the characters to make it appeal to the wider Spanish-speaking world and it doesn't sound or feel Mexican at all.

I am not sure where I am going with this. I have been discovering the local literary scene lately (and I mean *local*, like city-wide local) and it is mostly so boring because no one is writing fantasy! No magic realism! It's all kind of depressing dwellings on how we are being gentrified and indigenous people keep being oppressed by the mestizo majority and corporations and the goverment keep stealing the land to make Coca Cola and we are dying of diabetes and we don't got water and Capitalism sucks. LIKE I AGREE BUT CAN YOU PUT FAIRIES IN THERE OR SOMETHING. And I guess that's why I've never wanted to read Cómo Agua para Chocolate, because it is just *too real*, cuz it's a story I know by memory and I don't wanna live it all over again verbatim. Probably a great book, but I just cannot.

I don't know man idk idk.

The funniest think about this is that my favorite book ever (like actually, for real) is a children's book, written from the perspective of the imaginary friend of a child, and it is so gracefully narrated, and the characters so well constructed, and it touches real problems like Teen Pregnancy and Childhood Depression and Anxiety while also managing to be funny and whimsical? The very premise of the book (memories of an almost true friend, it's called) is already so creative and the execution is masterful. BUT I AM THE ONLY GUY ON PLANET EARTH THAT SEEMS TO KNOW ABOUT ITS EXISTENCE ITS DRIVING ME INSANE.

Where was I going with this. Ah yes. Youtubers talking about Borges. Well. Um. I. I think imma translate some of my own texts to English and put them on Wattpad or something. They are not the kind of thing Wattpad people are into but I gotta archive them somewhere and doing it on AO3 feels wrong since they aren't fan works. And on that note, I also wanna write more fan works.

Ugh I could be writing an essay but you got me writing a Tumblr post. What is wrong with me. I'm too bad at word weaving.

Aaaa (??????

Thoughts?

Help

I did take my meds today BTW. I don't know what is happening to me I just wanna WRITE ok I LOVE WRITING BUT WHY MUST I DO TUMBLR INSTEAD OF MY PASSIONS?

Oi I'll end it there

[sage-nebula]

your tags..ur right about nine not owning it to anyone and man,, thats what hurts the most to me... its just ouch... i love how his trauma is writen

It's really validating, tbh.

I won't go into details, but I was abused as a child / teen. And while in that environment I did what I could to minimize harm (unless I was purposefully redirecting it onto myself so that it wouldn't get turned on my dog), when I was outside that environment (e.g. the rare times I was in school) or when I left, my default reaction to any perceived threat was Fight. Someone told me to move on the bus because they wanted my seat? I gave them a library of curse words and threats and made it clear I was ready to follow through. Some guy kept annoying me even after I told him repeatedly that I was going to hurt him if he didn't stop? I grabbed him by the hair, slammed his head into a locker, and held him there until he started crying and I had blood under my nails. To be clear, this was not good. I was severely traumatized and was not put into therapy like I should have been, and as such had zero emotional regulation skills. I was 5'0", 70lbs of pure rage the second I saw anything as a potential threat / bully / harm. And when I did get in fights, I ended them as fast as possible.

So to have Nine's default be Fight? To have him be bullied and abused and decide, okay, he's going to build weapons to defend himself with, and he will use them, and he will prioritize his safety above all else no matter whose throat he needs to rip out to do it? Yeah, that's validating! Again, it's not good; he's severely traumatized and leaning hard into unhealthy coping mechanisms (familiar unhealthy coping mechanisms) as a result. But it's nice to, for once, see a trauma survivor who isn't an uwu timid flower. Because while some trauma survivors do fall into Flight or Fawn as their default, some also fall into Fight. And for any kids out there who are unfortunately in a situation like this, who decide that their default when they get bullied or harassed or abused is to start swinging fists (or office supplies because they're in the school library), I think it would be pretty validating for them, too. Although, again, hopefully they eventually get out of that situation and get some help, because none of this is healthy no matter how validating it is.

(And on the note of not owing anyone—yeah, see, because that's the thing. Obviously the one most at fault for the abuse is the abuser. But those who saw the signs and still did nothing are culpable, too. My neighbors who heard the screaming and did nothing, my teachers who saw me show up to school with no lunch and no lunch money and in clothes that reeked of cigarette smoke because my biomom smoked in the car with the windows rolled up and me inside, and this was on the rare occasion I was even sent to school to begin with and they still did nothing—yeah, they're culpable. They could've intervened, and they chose not to. I'm an adult now so I'm pretty much over it, but I understand Nine's anger toward a city that never helped him. They ignored his suffering, so why shouldn't he ignore theirs? It's not a heroic attitude to have, but when you've been through something like he has, being a hero is the last thing on your mind. And he's not wrong for that.)

#studioboner #sorry if this was TMI #but Nine made me feel Seen #sonic prime spoilers #miles nine prower #i don't know i say i ''was'' traumatized when I was actually diagnosed w/ CPTSD as an adult #when i finally was able to see a therapist #but like. i've been thru therapy and have learned some coping strategies #and am not NEARLY as violent as i once was #(tho if i got in a fight i would still strive to end it as fast as possible) #so like. maybe that's why. i don't know i'm just rambling now