he gets to be put on the list of characters that caused me permanent emotional damage
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I got invited to a thing by a friend for his boyfriends birthday and he made it sound like a lot of people were coming and we work together so I assumed other people from work would be there and it was a huge thing and I was just invited as a courtesy but I'm the only coworker and there's only like a few other people invited and I know he's a party animal with a lot of friends so like it just is like wow you actually consider me a close enough friend to invite to this intimate thing and I'm just so 🥹 like he introduced me by saying "we happen to work together but theyre also a close friend" and I just 🥹 I always think I don't mean as much to other people as they do to me but perhaps reports of my unlikability have been exaggerated...
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There’s a whole “shall I compare thee to a summer’s day” poem in this photo 🥺🫠
Elle, you’re making me spiral! Look at them, it’s too much 😭
I was going to attempt a sonnet, but I’m not that patient or gifted, so please accept a poorly written, overtly sappy haiku:
The travelling circus begins
Through ups, downs and crashing out
All I’ll see is you
😭😍
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Although I am one of those people who keeps getting on the forums like, "Devs please put unique and rare armor pieces in Lalia's market for easier access, I promise you people WILL pay for them and another income stream is not going to hurt you." So maybe I should put my money where my mouth is.
Like yeah I COULD grind for it but 1. I'm not really having fun, 2. I do want to support the game, & 3. it would be good to demonstrate to the devs that putting cosmetic clothes in there pays. There's a lot of stuff that's inaccessible or basically inacessible in that I would like to see them put there and a little encouragement can go a long way.
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hello darkness (migraine) my old friend (worst enemy)
if you sent me a prompt today that i haven't filled, please know i see it, i see you, and i'm hoping very much to fill it tomorrow! 😭 i'm heading off to sleep this sucker away, but i want to say thank you, as always, to everyone who's sent a prompt in, and even if i'm still gross tomorrow, you'll have top priority next flash fiction weekend!
<3
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9.09.2023
its so interesting as im writing narrative!fic the way that each subsequent draft / outline gets me closer and closer to a version of the fic that is ... true to the original conception? like i started gathering notes and ideas for this fic in earnest in ... 2021, like spring/summer 2021 and only today have finally put together an outline that FEELS like i am really, really close.
actually it's not even an outline it is a bunch of bulletpoint freewriting in a google doc that is roughly in the order of the series of events in the fic. i made a note to clean it into an outline later. but ohhh my god i finally!
like its been literally 4 drafts, i am slightly frightened to count how many words of draft material (probably about 60k give or take 15-20k), but THIS outline! i finally have the throughline of haiji's character arc through the fic, i've finally like .... idk. pared it down to the core parts and they magically (throug the power of thinking about this fic near-constantly since 2021) fit together now. THANK FUCK!
i told my old roommate i would send them a completed draft to beta like. two years ago.
i still don't know how this fucking fic ends but i have OPTIONS that probably will all require drafting out and revising before i pick sigh. but ohhhhhhhh my god this has NOT BEEN FUN but it is SO REWARDING to finally fucking hit (for like the third time) the feeling of "oh okay. i figured another thing out about how this story is going to work. it's going to come together now."
admittedly i said that to myself the last several times but THIS TIME I FIGURED OUT THE JOURNALING AND HAIJI'S WHOLE CHARACTER ARC and there is CAUSATION AND EVERYTHING which there sure was not before ahahaha. god this time i figured out the journaling!!!
and yes this is uhhhhhhhhhh an incredibly personal reading of haiji, i truly feel that my irl friends will kind of squint knowingly. but ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh A MILESTONE!
a milestone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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