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#wow taking videos in the app really fucks up the quality
vegansunlover · 3 years
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we saw a beaver and now he doesn’t want to go home anymore 😂
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sachirou-senpai · 4 years
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Kageyama, Yaku, Kenma and Hinata as sugar daddies.
request: ELLIE YOU CAN'T GET AWAY WITH PUTTING THIS IN MY HEAD AND LEAVING ME LIKE THIS AHSHSUSVSHS,,,, can I request some headcannons for Kageyama, Yaku and Kenma as sugar daddies? Or Hinata!!! Even though he's a sugar baby already shsghsbas ;;; Or you can choose whichever you like best between them??? I will be happy with every crumb I can get 🙏
warnings: mentions of s*x and sugar daddy/sugar baby relationships, hoshuimi is a nosy bitch, yaku has the confidence of a god (must be a leo thing) kenma is so cute ahhh, Hinata just wants someone to love and call mommy, i really love this. implied fem!reader for hinata, although i guess you could call a gn person or a male reader mommy. whatever floats your boat.
a/n: this was very fun. ;)
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Kageyama:
what the fuck
how did he even get a sugar baby?
great question
it happened because he had a fuckton of money and had no idea what to do with it
and hoshuimi, of course
cause hoshiumi's a nosy lil bitch
saw kageyama checking his bank account app on his phone and was like
WHAT THE FUCK WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MUCH MONEY
it's cause he never spends it
hoshuimi offhandedly tells him he should get a sugar baby
later that night kageyama googles what a sugar baby is
he's shook
doesn't think about it for months
until he gets this ad for a "meet sugar babies" website on a volleyball video he was watching
he thinks oh hell, why not
so he signs up, and meets you
he's so awkward oh my god
but you think it's adorable, and you're glad he's not some old dude
he doesn't know what to do so he asks you a lot of questions about what you like and stuff
the first thing he sends you, i kid you not, was a fucking volleyball
you call and ask him about it and he's like:
"it's the best quality"
you keep it.
eventually he starts sending you stuff you ask for, which works out better for both of you
you help him with the concept of a 'luxury life'
eventually gets a black card and literally just says:
"please use it for me, i don't know how"
and you're like damn okay
the first time you attempt to do something sexual he literally short circuits
you have to explain to him that a sugar baby usually repays their sugar daddy/mommy with sexual favors
he makes the 😮 face
he didn't even think you were sexually interested in him?
he'd be lying if he didn't think you were the most beautiful thing he's ever seen
and he's definitely had some um, not so pure dreams about you
and definitely jacked off to the pictures you've sent him
which he just thought was to show him what you liked
so god if he didn't fucking jump your bones right then and there
it was uh, intense, to say the least
best sex of your life
and the cuddles afterwards? on point.
you two get very attached
he really really likes you
introduces you to the team
which was embarrassing
eventually, you decide you want to become financially independent, and so you tell him you want to cancel the agreement
he fucking cries
he so desperately doesn't want to lose you
cause he's fallen in love with you
he tells you about all of the feelings and how you make him want to do anything for you and he's sobbing while telling you
you're shook, because you've kinda been developing feelings too
so you're like, okay, no sugar daddy stuff, be my boyfriend instead
total 180°
tackles you and holds you, on the floor, for like 3 hours
he still spoils you, it's a habit of his now
but you don't really mind, because you have one hell of a man by your side
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(gimmie a kageyama pls)
Yaku:
knows exactly what he's doing and knows exactly what he wants.
You.
he probably met you at some sort of event, you going because you were the personal manager for some really weird guy there
he knew he wanted you the second he saw you
and he was straight up about it too
we're talking like walking up to you and saying:
"quit your job, let me take care of you."
and you're surprised, because who just says that?
you don't even know what happened, but you said yes
quit your job that night, and left with him
yeah, you fucked on the first night but so what?
he is the best sugar daddy omg
he already knows what you like just by looking at you
(no he doesn't, he's just called Alisa so many times she swears her phone is gonna break)
he's more of a surprising you with what he's gonna buy kind of guy, but he always enjoys when you surprise him
he takes you everywhere with him
he has a game in another country? you're going. guaranteed.
he just always wants to be near you
it's clearly more than a sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship from the start
and he likes it that way
he just doesn't want to make you uncomfortable, so he doesn't say anything
you two fuck....a lot
it's clearly not because of the arrangement anymore
you're just naturally drawn to each other
it's intense
and you spend a lot of time together, not only because he literally takes you everywhere
just because you like it
there'll be periods of time where he doesn't buy you anything and you don't buy anything either, but you still stick around and you still have sex
and that's when he knows you actually have feelings for him
HE'S SO HAPPY OMG
you've been in the arrangement for several years
you're practically dating
and so one day he just asks you to marry him and you're like
fuck yes
who wouldn't want to marry yaku morisuke?
cause i sure as hell want to marry him
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Kenma:
i think kenma likes to watch twitch streams in the background while he's playing his games
it's just relaxing
with a fake account, of course, he didn't need all the hype from when he joined their stream
one day, a streamer he was watching ended their steam and raided yours
he first heard your voice and was SHOOK
you had the prettiest voice he'd ever heard
so he looked at his computer screen and nearly died
how could someone have such a pretty voice and a pretty face?
wildly unfair, he thought to himself
at first it was just a low-key thing
he'd watch your streams, whenever you were streaming
it was a miracle you two never streamed at the same time
you were just his go to relaxation method
one day, he heard you mention offhandedly that you were struggling with money
and so you know what he did?
donated 10k
he was already basically in love with you, so why not help you out?
and your reaction was perfect
you started smiling so hard, and thanking him over and over
it put a smile on his face for the next week, kuroo though he was sick
and he did it again, the week after
and again
and again
and so finally you messaged him asking why he kept sending you so much money
and he just sent you his number, with the message "call me"
you were so nervous
but you did
AND OH MY GOD IT WAS KODZUKEN?
WHAT?
you were such a big fan
and you really didn't know what to do
he was ever so kind, (lmao no) and just said:
"let me take care of you. i don't want you to ever have to stop streaming and go find a job that makes you more money."
you're so surprised you can't even speak
WHO SAYS THAT??
KENMA FUCKING KOZUME, APPARENTLY
you agree so hesitantly, and he notices
"you deserve it, please don't feel bad. i want to spend my money on you."
"o-okay"
"good."
and so that's exactly what he does, he'll just send you money every week
and little trinkets too, stuff you've mentioned in your streams or in the calls you'll have
you don't live close at all, but you wanted to meet up
he was sooooo nervous
kuroo, yet again, thought he was sick
and he probably was
but he came to you, and you just walked around a little, you showing him your favorite things about your city
he was just staring at you the whole time
he had come to stay with you for a week
and insisted that you stayed in a hotel with him, even though your house was literally right there
you slept in different beds
until one night you just got really paranoid about the horror game you played earlier
so you walked over and just got into bed with him
he was half asleep, but all he knew was the person of his dreams was laying in a bed next to him and he would hate himself in the morning if he didn't hold you close as physically possible
you woke up in each other's arms
annnnd that's when you both knew you were done for
he asked you to move in the day before he left
you said yes
(now i want a kenma too)
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Hinata:
oh my god what a baby
he just wanted someone to be with, really
atsumu was the one who suggested it
after kenma stopped sponsoring Hinata, he ended up learning how to manage his money and he was really good at it??
he invested well and now had a loooot of money
he was talking about his money like a Grown Man
and atsumu was like,
"do ya spend any of it?"
"yeah, on my investments"
"no, i meant like on yourself"
"well for food and stuff"
"LIKE FOR ENJOYMENT"
"m-my gym membership?"
"oh my fucking god"
so atsumu tells him to get a sugar baby
"a baby? i don't have the time for a child!!!"
queue atsumu literally dying inside
he shows Hinata an app and is like,
"don't worry, they're all grown"
"oh"
so atsumu helps him fill out the profile for the app
atsumu uwu's inside when he sees Hinata checked the box for 'emotional fulfillment only'
cause like, what a precious baby
anyway, a couple hours later he gets a match
and he's like
"WOAH ATSUMU LOOK LOOK HOW PRETTY THEY ARE"
"damn, okay hinata, nice kill"
he's so happy to find someone to talk to besides his family and volleyball friends
you two talk
ALL
THE
TIME
and he sends you the cutest things omg
like a little plushie he saw? in the mail the next day
some MSBY merch? yeah, he's sending that too
little snacks he thinks you'd like? yep, those are going too
he sends you the stereotypical sugar baby stuff too, like pretty dresses and suits and lingerie and jewelry
he was blushing so hard when he tried to put the lingerie in the mail, atsumu had to do it for him
a couple days later, you send him a picture of you wearing it
he
wow
sure, he knew you were pretty, and was undeniably physically attracted to you
but he'd never felt like that
he took the LONGEST shower
he couldn't even message you till the next morning because he knew he'd have to look at the picture and god he'd never get to bed if he looked at it any more
he was surprised in the morning when he had messages from you saying sorry and that you shouldn't have sent it and that you didn't mean to make him uncomfortable
that you would understand if he wanted to call off the arrangement
he was like WHAT???? NOOOO
so he drives alll the way to where you live and pounds on your door
you're like hinata what?
"PLEASE DON'T THINK THAT I HATE YOU AND WANT TO CANCEL THE ARRANGEMENT I JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO YOU LOOKED SO PRETTY AND I JUST I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT AND THEN I STARTED THINKING ABOUT BAD THINGS LIKE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE IF YOU DID NAUGHTY THINGS TO ME AND I WANT IT I WANT IT REALLY BAD I-"
you're kissing him
wait
YOU'RE KISSING HIM???
holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit
he doesn't know what to do
he's desperately trying to process what you're doing, but with your tongue shoved down his throat that's a little hard
so you know what he does?
he fucking whines
and you're like ohhhh shittttt
yeah you fuck
and you get the nickname mommy
which you love
such a sweet relationship
yes, relationship
you got together
he's so happy
looks like he got laid all the time
(which he usually did, but that's beside the point)
he's just giddy
and it's the cutest thing
10/10 relationship, please cherish him forever
(now i want a kageyama, yaku, kenma and a hinata DAMNIT)
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oh my god this was so fun and perfect
@warmbearhugs i'm so glad we talked about with this, and i'm so glad you requested it
taglist: @warmbearhugs wow, i've tagged you 3 times in this post now @beanst0ck @your-local-abyss @oof-she-needs-therapy @tendouthighs @oyasenpai @senkuwu-chan @lovetsuki @kuroos-babie @keijination
send an ask to be added to the taglist!
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Female Led Relationship In Real Life
FLR explained, the woman has final say on all matters. The man accepts her wishes, her wants, and her punishments. This isn’t the FLR most men dream about in real life which is sexual in nature; I can promise in real life it is much different and more rewarding long term for both parties involved.
For us, yes housework is my responsibility and it started out with her lowering the normal standard that she kept up so that I could get down a routine. Overtime I’ve gotten better and worked longer in rooms and areas that did not meet her standards. I want to say higher, but they were only higher standards to me when we were vanilla. I see now the importance of daily, weekly, and monthly deep cleaning chores and tasks. They really do make the house ready for guests at a moments notice without worry and it really lifts a level of stress off of her which reflects back into us and our time together.
I’ve been timed and my daily chores I can do in 20 mins if I hustle. Normally it takes me an hour in between making her breakfast or getting ready for or after my work. Either way my “right” to ask permission to play video games or have screentime on my phone is once my chores are complete. The weekly tasks I’ve broken down into days to accomplish them easier (for myself), to not get behind, and make sure I meet her expectation of cleanliness.
My fav part of our FLR which has led to has been more love, time, and attention towards her is a phone rule. Dinner at home or out, regardless with friends I have to ask permission to use my phone. Needless to say no one bats an eye as they think it’s great we’re not on our phones. I like to check google reviews and see photos of different food options at a restaurant and it’s almost always a yes when I ask and then I put it away or it goes in her purse. I will say getting to that level of discipline isn’t easy.
In FLR I thrived with any new rules or expectations as soon as Goddess Amy figured out the best punishments that one changed my perspective and made me do risk/reward calculations before taking an action. What worked for her and didn’t cause her too much additional time away from what she enjoyed and was highly effective for me was corner time (30+ mins sometimes) and marking down in my shared chore app her grievances, which I too could see and were addressed with the paddle when she so decided. Unlike fantasy FLR there is nothing fun about having your pants around your ankles and being met with a firm paddle. She knows once I’m over ten that each and everyone will be remembered throughly. She has taken it a step further and makes me recite while I’m being paddled. Again not sexy but to make sure i know what I did and what I should do again.
Writing lines or the same thing over and over on paper takes a lot of time and she doesn’t except sloppy work. When that comes up I know I’m metaphorically fucked. It’s the equivalent of a cold shoulder when we were vanilla and I know a conversation is coming.
FLR isn’t all chores and sex. It’s a means to have a more loving and quality filled relationship. It’s non-standard but really does the trick for us. Of note when you’ve been met with consequences for falling short on expectations it really does change you behavior and moments vanilla you might want to give constructive feedback or argue a point of view. In FLR skip it and if you don’t like the point/topic/discussion try and bring it up at the end of the day or week, and if you really want ask if she wants feedback and if she says yes then maybe; otherwise wait until the end of the day or week.
In real-life FLR I can only give my perspective and maybe some of hers. For me I’d say the most important part is the man accepting she has the authority. Leadership isn’t all about being right, it’s about inspiring follow-ship naturally and accomplishing shared goals of the individuals under you and for the organization. Goddess Amy does that wonderfully and this is where you could say she understands my kinks (motivation) and pessimistic characteristics (frictions). She has a firm grasps on all things me and has goals for me, expectations for herself, our house, and our family. FLR works well for us because I accept and want her authority and she cares about all of the above to ensure each and everyday we move forward and improve. It’s not like the kink where things are expected to be absolutely perfect. She knows what I can handle and pushes the bubble little by little until it’s “perfect”, I look back and think wow what a difference I never thought this was possible.
Have you heard the phrase “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. If daddy ain’t happy don’t nobody care. “ That phrase sums up FLR. This ties in with communication and roles of FLR. She can easily say be ready we are going out and that means get in nice clothes and get everything ready to go or she can say she’s going out, which means I have the house to myself and if I’m lucky I’ll be given permission to watch TV or play games on my laptop. This ties in with staying on top of the routine she has set for me and other rules like no screentime without the chores being done. Most times I’m fortunate enough to get sceentime when I have the house to myself and sometimes it’s an opportunity for me to address a writing assignment she would like or an addtional chore. Rarely does it include me playing and sending pictures while she is out and about, but either way I’m always responsive and accept what she chooses as I know and believe it has a purpose. I just don’t sometimes fully understand it until later on down the road.
Real-life FLR the man only does what she wants and in ours she has retained meal prep for us and weekday dinners. The weekends I get to grill out and make her meals. Dishes are easy in our house. After a meal we clear the table, some things into rubber ware, some things rinsed in the sink and then into the dishwasher. We have a sign for clean/dirty and the dishwasher gets ran at night once full every couple of days and per my checklist is emptied or check daily.
A big benefit for her is me seeking ways to earn extra privileges ultimately by going out of my way to be on my best behavior, pampering her with love, surprises, and foot rubs. Some days she surprises me with the same to include paid massages and also breakfast in bed.
In public we appear vanilla, with the exception that I may secretly ask permission to have a soda or bend our diet plan a bit with a dessert. I’ve found asking before we go out with friends is better and also she has coded eye brows and looks which convey a silent approval or disapproval as I talk through what I might want when asked.
In addition to not meal prepping every meal since she loves cooking and helping us meet our fitness goals there are a few other things she retains control of. One is laundry, not because she loves it but because only she understands our walk in closet system for her stuff. Every morning I make sure everything is in the hamper and check the dryer- going through and pulling clothes tout of the dryer and separating out her dresses, tops, panties, etc in a way that makes it faster for her to put away herself, along with hanging and putting away all of my clothes neatly. Second the baby’s room there is a fancy rug which gets cleaned a certain way that’s off limits to me. I didn’t ask why and daily just make sure everything is clean and organized. Unlike fantasy FLR you won’t see me begging to do more chores, but you will see me finding areas which I add to my daily to keep off my monthly and deep clean routine to save myself time another day but just maintaining the area better. One example for this is dusting, yes the dreaded dusting. Once despised, I now prefer to address it per room per weekday versus all at once on the weekend. For me it’s less tedious when mixed in with picking up toys, vacuuming, and wiping down surfaces versus a whole hour of it another day.
To end this long discussion one thing that I like most about our FLR is despite me, the man not having final decision is that she gets my feedback 9 times out of 10 before making the final decision. I always feel heard and understood even when I don’t get what I wanted on most big topics, this isn’t the case with little chores or screentime expectations.
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feliciohno · 3 years
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I'm back but not without a quick psa
Okay ik I do like these little psa bullshits all the time and I am sorry and ik only like maybe 5 people care I'm just the kinda person who feels the need to over explain constantly even though ik I don't have to. Anyways, this is hopefully gonna be a quick thing and done but I just need to talk a little bit about my coming back and some changes to the blog so lets go.
So, I'll be honest, I'm not fully ready to come back. Just being frank but the only reason I'm coming back after about a month is because I wanted to take part in a Chaggie month during may and this is the blog I use for that kinda stuff. But I didn't want to reopen the blog and then just post about Hazbin cause honestly I'd feel bad. I know I say time and time again that this blog isn't JUST Hetalia but I'm not dumb, I know what you guys followed the blog for. And it's not that I blame anyone because where the content isn't only Hetalia it tends to be mostly Hetalia.
If it wasn't for the Chaggie month I probably would have stayed away longer ngl. Don't get me wrong, I do feel much better than I did when I first left. I just still don't feel great. Without getting too much into it, my brain doesn't really do great things sometimes. Whenever something bad happens to me it often will latch those emotions to things in the moment. Sometimes it's stuff like food or a song but a lot of times it's shows and characters and ships. It sucks cause it very often tends to hit special interests the most. There really isn't a special interest I have that I can enjoy without issue except maybe bats. And ik this is typically a trauma response but like? My brain recently has started to do it outside of trauma? Like I'm pretty sure I haven't gone through any trauma recently?? So idk man it's dumb and hates me. Anyways, there's still some characters and ships and stuff for Hetalia that I really can't look at without panicking lmao. But honestly it's okay. I'm kinda use to this kinda stuff by now?
Basically my hiatus was so I could step away from people and just like the show by myself. I blocked tags, I only interacted with the show and drew stuff for it when I felt like I wanted to or could. I only talked about the show with an extremely small select group of friends and even that was on rare occasion. There's a word for what I was trying to do but I can't remember it rn it's like re-something therapy. But whatever so yeah. And honestly? It was working really well. It's still working really well. I feel better than I did before. But like? It's still not great. There's gonna be stuff that still messes me up. This isn't the kinda thing that goes away over night and I knew that going into my hiatus. But! You guys stuck with me (from what I can tell) and I genuinely thank you all for that! So like yeah I am coming back to the blog including Hetalia posting. I'm probably gonna keep the tags blocked though and only look at like certain mutual content and stuff. Just stuff that I know for sure isn't gonna idk set me off (I desperately don't wanna call any of this stuff triggers cause then that's admitting how much they actually emotionally affect me and I'm not even gonna go there lmao).
That's basically it in regards of my hiatus BUT now I gotta talk about some changes to this blog. Nothing huge just two minor things.
The first thing is this blog is now my Problematic Media blog AND my blog to put Gore/N S F W content on. The main reason for this is I got accepted to be an artist on a blog called @/ponydoodles (if you like mlp related content go give it a follow :> ). One of the rules though of being an artist is the main blog you use and that is associated with your mod title can not have any extreme gore or N S F W content on it. Which like, I don't blame them for making that a rule. The mlp fandom has a lot of bad rep cause of older and probably even still modern fans. I have my own opinions on that kinda stuff but that's neither here nor there. So yeah! Any content of mine that is too suggestive or gory will be posted here no matter the source. Please make sure to block any tags of stuff you don't wanna see. And just a quick note, I will not be tagging N S F W content as such because those posts get blocked and it's FUCKING annoying. Instead I will be using the tag NSFT (not safe for tumblr) which from what I've seen is what most people are using these days. As for gore I always do my best to make sure everything is properly tagged with more intense or triggering content.
The last small change to this blog is this- I will no longer be posting about non blog related content on here. Lemme explain a little. I'm sure a lot of you noticed that I tend to make little posts here and there about myself, my life, cartoons just anything on my mind. The problem with this is I ended up almost killing my main blog @hext00ns because I was never fucking using it. And because I never used it for so long I don't get much interaction from people on that blog but I did start to get it here. From there it was a loop. I'd post more on here, causing less attention on my main, causing people to interact more with my side, causing me to want to post more on my side and less on my main. And honestly? It actually made me kinda depressed? In a weird way? It's kinda dumb but Hextoons is like my brand. Being the weird cartoon freak that knows way too much about animation and anything involving it has always and will always be my main and in some cases only personality trait lmao. It's also where I post my original content which is really important to me. So, here's what's gonna happen. I'm only gonna be posting about content that pertains to the sources and content that I use this blog for. Any other content or blogging or whatever will go on my main @hext00ns So like if you liked that kinda stuff or if you like other cartoons, anime, and video game stuff, just god please go follow that account. Genuinely. I promise that blog is full of the same F- bullshit quality all my content tends to be.
And one last thing cause I feel like some people are gonna be curious, yes you can still talk to me about Hetalia and send asks and shit. I still love asks and interactions more than life itself and that hasn't changed. It really is what motivates me to do shit. Comments, tags on reblogs, asks, this kinda stuff puts a fire under my ass to continue and create content that, I assume, you guys like. I'm always open to that kinda stuff on either blog. And where yeah, Hetalia kinda makin' me sad still just a bit, I am better. And honestly? I have the physical ability to just? Not check my notifs for a day or so if I need a short breather or I'm not feeling up to it? Like tech is so amazing how you can exit out of apps and windows like wow guys it's so crazy (/s/j).
So yeah, your fruity little Italian is back from superhell what's up bitches
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dyscrasia-eucrasia · 4 years
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Part 5
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Like every day, Angel woke up to an alarm at noon. And, like every day, he considered sleeping in. But he'd established that his Instagram stories started updating at 12:30, and he refused to break that routine. 
He dragged himself out of bed and over to the kitchen. He was in a bulking phase, which meant that at least he got to eat a lot of calories, but even then he had to check the notebook he kept next to the fridge to make sure he was hitting his macros. Breakfast wound up being oats made with peanut butter, greek yogurt, and protein powder. It was ugly to look at and nearly as bland, since there was no sugar to liven up the flavors. That was the sacrifice that he had to make for the sake of his physique - giving up basically everything that tasted good and living on a diet of peanut butter, chicken, and brown rice. 
After he finished choking down his breakfast, he had to take a minute to search his apartment for his wireless earbuds. He popped them in his ears, grabbed his phone, perched himself on the window sill, and proceeded to take a dozen selfies, all with slight variations, until he got the perfect one of himself turned just slightly towards the window, his earbuds clearly showing, the street outside visible but artistically blurry. It took him a few more minutes in Facetune to edit out the puffiness under his eyes and a blemish that was forming on his chin, not to mention lighten his skin and up the saturation of the blue dye in his hair. He needed a dye touch-up, but no one on Instagram needed to know that. 
It took him a few more minutes to craft his story post, carefully weighing the benefits of a filter that gave him dog ears and deciding how many emojis he wanted to use. 
Then of course there was the matter of what to say in the story. His first post of every day was a 'song of the day' post. It took him a minute to think of what song to use. Ultimately, he wound up writing: 'Listening to Bad Guy today! Love Billie Eilish!' and then took another minute to choose the exact font style, color, and positioning. 
He hadn't actually been listening to Billie Eilish. He liked her music, sure, but lately he had been on a nostalgic kick, listening to nu metal. But it wasn't #relatable to post about listening to Coal Chamber. How many people even remembered that the band existed? Certainly none of the e-boys that followed Angel's account. 
No, Angel's brand didn't work with a maligned, forgotten genre from the late 90s. He'd made a name for himself as goth-lite. Not really goth, but not an e-boy either. Rather, he was just a touch edgy, but still firmly in the mainstream gay community. 
All the more reason to keep Bacchus to himself. It was totally against his brand to go to shows with mosh pits. 
'Tell me what song you wanna see me pole dance to!' He added to the post, making a comment field for people to respond. Within seconds, answers started to pour in, mostly Top 40 sex jams. 
He spent a little longer scrolling through Instagram, commenting on videos from other dancers. Every comment was upbeat and encouraging, even if he thought their dancing was a bit shit. There was no room to be critical on social media. He had to treat everyone as if they were his best friend, even if he didn't know them. He was still building his following, and any drama could ruin that. 
His DMs were full, as usual. Most of them were thirst-DMs, a couple were shady sounding guys offering to be his manager. Nothing interesting enough to respond to. 
A notification popped up at the top of his screen from Grindr. He automatically tapped it to go to the app, only to be greeted with a blurry dick pic. He wasn't against dick pics, but they had to have a bit of effort put into them. This one was just lazy. The guy didn't even look like he was hard. 
He tapped the back button to look at the rest of his messages. A lot were dick pics. Some were asking for a hookup. One was a message from a guy he'd hooked up with a few days ago, saying that he had a nice time and asking if he wanted to get together again. 
The guy had been alright. A nice enough bodybuilder who had been surprisingly gentle and considerate during sex. But his personality had been as bland as the meal-prepped chicken sitting in Angel's fridge. Angel knew he could do better. But it never hurt to have the guy on-call as backup if he felt the need to get laid right away, so he snapped a selfie and sent it to him, with a short note that simply said, 'I had fun!' 
With that, he'd had enough social media, and it was almost time for his workout, anyways. 
Thirty minutes later, he met with his personal trainer. He paid a hefty fine for one of the best trainers in the city, someone he trusted to help him sculpt his physique without making comments about trying plastic surgery. His trainer was cute, nice, and painfully straight, which was something Angel had specifically looked for. He didn't want to be distracted by a guy who may or may not be interested in fucking. 
Like always, working out kicked his ass, and like always, he took a sweaty selfie in the locker room mirror with his shirt lifted to show his abs and posted it on his Instagram story. 
His day was far from over, though. He had to stop by the smoothie shop and take a photo of his smoothie - milk, whey powder, greens, banana, and peanut butter - and then go out and take photos around town until he found something that made it look like he was doing something interesting that day. He eventually found a corner of a building that had been tagged with a dozen Mothman stickers and snapped a selfie in front of it, captioned it 'Hanging out with my fellow spooky kids!' and posting it to his main Instagram. 
And then the boredom set in. He didn't really have anything planned for the day, and he still had plenty of time before he had to go to work. Sure, he could go home and put on some makeup and take artful thirst-trap selfies, but he'd done that so recently. He didn't want to make his Instagram nothing but thirst-traps - he had to make sure he was attractive to multiple types of brands if he ever wanted a sponsorship. 
The thing was, trying to be an Instagram star was lonely. He had friends, but they were either work colleagues - and thus rivals - or other micro-influencers. All their conversations were about collabs and SEO and ways to boost engagement. To outsiders he no doubt looked like he lived a lavish and incredibly fun lifestyle as a stripper, but they didn't see the day-to-day boredom or the awkwardness behind running into people who knew him from the club out in broad daylight. 
He wanted someone to talk to who wasn't a part of all that bullshit. 
Of course, as soon as he had that thought, he realized that he wanted to talk to Demie again. 
He wasn't sure if he should. He'd just called him that morning, after all. 
It wasn't that he was worried about coming off as desperate, but more that he was worried about scaring Demie off. He was absolutely certain that Demie was gay, but he was also sure that Demie was a country boy, and country gays were different from city gays. Country boys had such an endearing gee-shucks quality about them, like they were trying so hard to be beer-drinkin', truck-drivin' bros, but they were just a little too soft-spoken and shy for that. 
Demie - from what Angel could tell - was a guy who wanted to be cool to other men but who was also painfully nervous around them. 
It was absolutely adorable, and Angel wanted so badly to get him into bed. 
But getting that kind of guy into bed was a challenge. It was like hunting a deer. Move too fast or too loudly, and he'd run off into the woods. 
Or so Angel assumed. He'd never actually gone hunting. That was too much a white person thing to do. 
Fuck it, he decided. Demie was the first real connection he'd made in a long time. And it wasn't like he was asking for a hookup. He just wanted to talk. 
He settled onto a bench where he could still see the Mothman stickers and dialed Demie's number. The phone rang with no answer. No shit, it was a Monday afternoon. People with normal 9 to 5s worked at that time. 
Well, at least he could leave a message and give Demie his number. He realized he'd never actually told Demie how to contact him. 
Eventually the answering machine picked up. "You've reached Demie and Elaine," Demie's voice said. "If you're trying to sell us something we don't fucking want it. If you're trying to get on our property, we have guns and we're not afraid to fucking use them. Bye." 
"Wow, your answering machine is pretty aggro," Angel said. "This is Angel, but the way. I realized I didn't give you my number. So, y'know, just in case you want to get in touch…" 
He left his number and hung up. He sat staring at the Mothman stickers a little longer. He kind of wanted to send a picture of them to Demie, since Demie in a way reminded him of a cryptid - shy and kind of elusive. But of course, he couldn't, since Demie didn't have a cellphone. Still, he took a non-selfie picture of them anyways. Just in case he got to hang out with Demie sometime.
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magical-xirl-4 · 5 years
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OKAY I have way more energy now that I actually ate something, so let’s 👏 watch 👏 FEAST 👏
- HmMM, the statue was discovered on the mountain of Tibet you say?
- Alya’s going full on detective (Also I still can’t believe that the Egyptian scripture in the Louvre just so happens to have Ladybug on it. I can totally buy that painting of the lady with the butterflies tho)
- Alix’s comment about the bunny is just so on the nose
- That app is some next level shit. AND WE’RE FUDGED NOW THAT ALYA NOTICED THE SYMBOL
- I had to laugh at Nathalie getting faint over the statue
- Fu’s like “It’s all chill,” then he saw the statue and it was over for him. Not to mention that blue filter (?) around the sides
- :(( he’s really carrying around some guilt. I’m so glad we get to hear more of his backstory. And gosh it’s unfair to do that to a child, take them away from their family and make them starve for a day? Kinda cruel
- annd he lost the staff 0-0
- wait so the sentimonster is immune to Miraculous’? honestly way to go with making something that powerful, but still, he was just a kid
- AHHH THAT HORROR MUSIC WHEN GABRIEL WAS STARING AT ADRIEN AND PUTTING HIS HAND ON HIS SHOULDER “You don’t have to worry about her” *threatening music intensifies*
- Gabriel no longer gives any fucks about Nathalie’s physical well being
- “My father said those weren’t serious either.” oh honey
- PLAGG IS GOOD AT THE PIANO. Can they play together every time Adrien has to practice?
- OK idk if it was the quality of the video I’m watching but Adrien sounded like he was choking up when he said “Thank you Plagg” and I-
- Mayura just........ casually naruto running around the louvre
- ngl the sentimonster’s design is kinda cute
- 0-0. Fu already said that the monster was strong enough, now HM’s gonna akumatize it?!
- Wayzz really just took Tikki and Plagg away huh
- FU HAS SO MUCH SHIT ON HIS BIKE (no joke tho this is sad)
- MARINETTE CHASING AFTER FU oh god D: 
- HOW DID SHE GET CHANGED THAT FAST?! Also it looks like a scuba-diving suit
- ah yes, the long awaited bananoir (hE’S ON A SCOOTER)
- WAITHOEIAR SO THE NAME BANANOIR IS CANON??!!?
- idk why I feel like I should point this out, but their voices change a lot once they become their alter ego’s (I think it’s cause they’re not in costume and I just realised)
- DAMN THAT BUS DRIVER REALLY WAS RIDE OR DIE
- “Master look! Ladybug and Cat Noir, despite their ridiculous costumes-”
- it’s sweet how everyone’s really wanting to help them out
- ANDRE. THICC.
- Fu just shuts Wayzz up. But I understand his point, they’re children after all and he really doesn’t to be the reason they disappear
- YO MARI AND ADRIEN ARE STILL SO AGILE EVEN WITHOUT THEIR POWERS?? DAMN THEY ARE NEXT LEVEL
- YES FU!!! “I am not scared of you anymore!”
- he was so close to transforming, I cri--
- Hey we gon get anything from Adrien now knowing that Fu (his Chinese teacher) is the Guardian?
- UH ANYWAY CAT JUST SAID STICK HOLE
- i’m living for his facial expressions realizing they gotta go in
- Feast is a big boi but inside he is INFINTIE
- glad to see the temple and monks back, and mostly likely the other miraculous’ too (also like someone else pointed out, it’s definitely not coincidence that they showed Kagami’s mum and Audrey, along with Gabriel and Nathalie one after the other. very curious)
- I’m happy that Fu doesn’t have to feel guilty or burdened anymore
- also good for him in not continuing that horrible tradition anymore! Marinette is going to become an amazing guardian!
Gabriel: I have not digested my defeat, Ladybug. It’s simply honed my appetite all the more.
Me: Please, Gabe.... stop....... have mercy...........
Gabriel: I intend to put that knowledge to use, and prepare a DISH of revenge SERVED especially for you!
Me: NO, god NO. MAKE IT STOP, PLEASE-
Gabriel: And it shall be served...
Me: *scared whimpering*
Gabriel: ...... v e r y  c o l d
Me: nNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
All in all, WOW, what an episode! I’ve been waiting for something like this for ages, and it impressed
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hanalwayssolo · 5 years
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Beyond the Opulence
A/N: While I’m briefly taking a breather from Laws of Motion, I saw it fit to go back to some self-indulgent reader-inserts, so here we are. This new series of one-shots features FFXV men (older!bros in particular) in varying AUs. First up is Noctis.
Tagging some pals! @raspberryandechinacea @noboomoon @emmydots @gowithme @valkyrieofardyn @blindedstarlight @lazarustrashpit @bleucommelhiver @hanatsuki89 @animakupo (lmk if y’all want to get tagged on the succeeding ones!)
(Links in AO3) Alternate Universes in Which You and I Belong Together: Noctis | Gladio | Prompto | Ignis | Nyx | Cor | Ravus | Ardyn
The draft of your resignation letter on your computer screen is staring right at you with serious judgment, and you immediately think how Noctis is going to take this.
You have thoroughly considered Weskham Armaugh’s promising job offer in Altissia Works. Higher pay, better benefits. The title of VP for Communications definitely has a nice ring to it. But you know that quitting your current job is the last thing you ever want to do. As executive assistant to the CEO, dealing with the hustle that came along with your responsibilities is what you enjoy best: procurement requests, internal communications, meeting arrangements, public affairs, game launches and conventions, and pretty much overseeing Noctis’s day-to-day schedule have all become a steady ritual that you can probably do even in your sleep. You are severely fond with your work, so much so that you do not mind how taxing it could get on most months; the benefits and compensation that comes with your job even helps you in more ways to sustain a decent living. Besides, it’s not like you are not getting any support; if Ignis had not come along and taken the wheel behind all financial and strategic side of things, you would have easily lost your mind to stress. His sharp wit equates to his even sharper mind, and with all the years of working together, both you and Noctis have acknowledged that neither of you will survive without Ignis’s thoughtful counsel. In fact, Noctis claims he couldn’t find a better tandem to work with; for someone who is occasionally quiet and reclusive, he is pretty outspoken to always let you know one certain truth: that he wouldn’t survive a day without you and Ignis at all if he wanted to keep a robust video game company running at its finest.
So you didn’t mind the overtime hours. You didn’t mind the workload.
But as much as you love working for Noctis, you really don’t love the idea that you are recklessly falling in love with him.
Years of being around him, and you cannot really recall how this feeling unraveled itself. Was it because he is always checking up on you whenever you are spending too many late nights in the office? Was it whenever he brings you your favourite takeout food when you scarcely move from your seat even on lunch breaks? Or was it that time when he showed up in the middle of a Tinder date gone wrong after you texted him a simple ‘fuck this guy is a nutjob send help’? He always has your back, as you always have his. But how long have you felt this aching weakness for him? You know Noctis is always kind, if not a little too generous for his own good. He always goes out of his way to help others, treats everyone as equals. No hierarchy or class ever prevented him from reaching out to people. Even with someone like you, who had to claw your way out of the slums into this better life you have designed for yourself.
This, you thought, is what makes Noctis such a perfect guy: he is caring and selfless, even if he has a strange affinity with cats, or if he gets way too enthusiastic about fishing and video games. Sure, some people may think that the only notable things that qualify Noctis in the hall of perfection is because of how he is a handsome and dashing bachelor in his thirties who owns one of the most successful startup companies in all of Eos—a bold and impressive feat, considering he is already heir to a billion gil Lucian conglomerate. But he is more than his family name, more than his net worth, more than his pretty face.
And yet, perfect guy Noctis may be, he certainly is not perfect for you. He may still be in the market, but he is most surely way out of your league.
You minimize the word document and squeeze your eyes shut for a moment. The looming tower of files on your desk is already giving you a head-splitting migraine. The shrill sound of the printer right beside your cubicle is only making it worse. Not to mention, the group of game devs and quality analysts loudly debating their ideas in the conference room right across from your workstation. Interns are milling busily through the halls—some on skateboard, some on rollerblades. The background noise is starting to become insufferable. Even your favourite pop album blasting on repeat from your earphones is not helping. You return to your draft, and begin editing a couple of sentences:
After careful consideration, it is with deepest regret that I should inform you of my decision to leave the company. This is because...
You are tempted to end the sentence with a more blatant truth that says I am in love with you and could no longer stand being around you than saying that you are to pursue a better career opportunity. Which is downright nuts. Absolutely batshit crazy. It is true that you are never one to mix work with pleasure, and you are not that shallow to leave something behind for a petty reason...
But this rotten one-sided feeling with Noctis is a torment you cannot stand any longer.
Why do I always fall for the ones I could never have?
You are so close to murdering anyone who dares to step within the close perimeter of your workstation when a knock against your desk startles your fiercely undivided attention away from your screen.
“You seem like you’re about to massacre the whole floor. You good?”
You look up to see Noctis standing in front of you—extremely dapper clad in a white dress shirt and jeans—studying you with extreme concern. With much speed and dexterity and without even looking at your monitor, you quickly replace the word document on your computer and pull up the presentation deck with a subtle alt tab on the keyboard. The slide on display is that of the organizational chart that shows a couple of the functional units paired with the names of its respective leads. Cor Leonis, Risk and Control. Prompto Argentum, Creatives. Cindy Aurum, Product Engineering. Nyx Ulric, Game Development. You smile at him and say, “Yup, all good. Just reviewing my slides for the town hall later.”
“Really?” He raises an eyebrow, rubs a hand over his stubble-crusted jaw. A playful smile tugs on the corners of his mouth. “But you already know our monthly demographics like the back of your hand.”
“That’s Iggy, not me.”
“You keep selling yourself short,” he says, a little bit sternly. Then, he glances at his watch and all of a sudden, he narrows his eyes at you. “You haven’t eaten yet, have you?”
“Why, thank you very much for asking, sir, but I already have,” you lie with an awfully pleasant smile.
As expected, Noctis is not buying it. The scowl on his face clearly says so. “Don’t make me ask Pelna to terminate your access.”
You laugh. “Wow, you’re going to ask our best programmer to go on this extreme measure just to get me out to lunch? I couldn’t even imagine how your Cybersecurity Director is going to take that breach of protocol.”
“I think Gladio’s gonna let that one pass.”
"HR, then?"
"Nah, Monica and Holly would probably support this."
“Oh really? How so?”
“Yes, ‘cause they know I’ll do everything for you to go out with me.” Noctis pauses, and you stare at him.
“I’m sorry, what—“
“I mean, for lunch—“ Noctis reaches for the back of his neck, and he swiftly backpedals in a flustered stutter— “like go out with me for lunch is what I mean—uh, you know. ‘Cause we know you rarely go out to lunch. Or even outside, for breaks. And ‘cause pulling the plug of your workstation clearly isn’t going to work with you.”
“Oh. Right.” You nod and you can feel the pinprick of needles on your chest. Either from the way he seemed to vehemently deny his way out of his misspoken invitation or the fact that you almost thought he felt the same way about you, you cannot tell at this point. Maybe it’s both.
The silence that follows is close to unbearable.
Noctis awkwardly starts, “So, you mind if—“
“Hey there, you two.” Nyx suddenly saunters in front of your desk, all swagger in his black leather jacket, and you almost thank the gods out loud for his casual intervention. He greets Noctis with a clap on the shoulder, and he looks at the both of you with a cheeky lopsided grin. “Am I interrupting—“
“No,” you and Noctis both say all at once, and way too defensively.
“Okay, cool.” Nyx flashes one of his devilish smirks, all the while still warily eyeing both you and Noctis. “Anyway—“ Nyx turns to you, sliding one hand through his hair and pushing the other on the pocket of his jeans— “you wanna grab some lunch at Yamachang’s, chief? I owe you big time for sending me the stats I needed on the mobile app I’m working with Crowe and Libertus. I’m a Lannister and I always pay my debts—“
“Yeah, sure,” you immediately tell Nyx as you briskly rise from your seat. You don’t know what made you agree with Nyx’s invitation so easily, that when you glance at Noctis, he is looking at you with an expression that you cannot seem to figure out.
“Glad someone’s finally successful in getting you out of your cubicle for a change,” Noctis says with an odd smile. “I’ll see you both in the town hall, alright?”
As Noctis walks away and starts to mingle with the game devs in the conference room, you see Nyx is watching you curiously.
“What?” You try not to sound annoyed, but the question spills snappily out of your mouth.
Nyx clicks his tongue and shakes his head. “You two are really something, huh.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means…” Nyx sighs, leaning against your desk. “Never mind. C’mon, let’s get going.”
Nyx offers you his hand and you take it. He whisks you out of your desk, and you laugh at his weird display of chivalry. As the two of you make your way out of the office, you pass the conference room and your eyes land on Noctis. His eyes meet yours, and he gives you a small smile. Nyx’s hand on yours suddenly feel terribly out of place. The thought of your resignation begins to settle heavily at the pit of your stomach. The job offer in Altissia has never been so appealing.
The town hall concluded without a hitch. By end of the day, you are pretty much exhausted, but relieved all the same. Everyone left early for the long weekend, and you are glad to have the whole floor all by yourself.
Well, almost.
Noctis is still in his office, his door wide open. You double-check his calendar to see if he has anything lined up on his schedule. He’s free for the rest of the night, and you take a deep breath.
This is it. You have already made up your mind, following your better judgment. It’s now or never, you think to yourself as you march your way to his office, letter in hand.
You knock at the door. “Hey,” you say, and Noctis looks up at you. A wide smile brightens his face.
“Hi, come in,” he says, gesturing to the couch in front of him. He eyes you nervously. “Have I missed any urgent meeting? Or anything that needs my approval?”
“No. Actually, you’re already free from this time onwards. Checked your calendar before I came here.” You couldn’t help but laugh. Of course, most of the time you have ever entered Noctis’s office is to remind him whenever he’s running late for a meeting or to follow him up on matters that require his immediate attention.
But this time around, it pains you that you’re here in front him for an entirely different reason.
“Oh, by the way—great job earlier, as usual,” Noctis says rather proudly. “Not that I’m surprised.”
“Um, thanks.” You wince another smile. His genuine kindness is a rock in your mouth that is slowly grating you with guilt.
“So…” Noctis trails off, his fingers drumming against his desk, and he is still looking at you with searching eyes. “I hope you’re not planning on staying here in the office for a few more hours.”
“Nope.” You shake your head. Your insides are twisted into knots when you say, “Actually, I’m already planning on leaving.”
You slide the letter on his desk. He unfolds it, and you watch how his smiling face shifts into something else. At first, he is surprised, then the second, he is completely crushed.
Noctis lets out a shuddery sigh. “I don’t understand—“
“I don’t need you to,” you swiftly say. “I got an offer. In Altissia. I’m sorry if this had been so sudden. Not to worry, I have all of my tasks and responsibilities properly documented for transition—“
“No, I don’t care about any of that,” he says, his voice deeply strained. “I just want to know why.” He pushes himself off his desk, circling over to you. “You said you love working here.”
“Yes, I do.” You cannot bear looking at him. Tears are starting to well under your eyes. “But I…”
“But what?” Noctis is now standing so close to you, his eyes casting you a searching look. “Tell me, please.” He moves in another inch. You could already smell his perfume, and you swear if he moves any closer you are going to shatter.
“Noct, it’s just...“ you say, and his name almost breaks along with the sound of your voice. “I don’t think I can work here if I—“
A solid knock on the door traps the remaining words in your mouth. You wipe your eyes before you turn to see Ignis standing by the doorway. He looks at you, then at Noctis. If he had caught on any of the conversation, Ignis is doing an excellent job not showing it on his face.
“My apologies,” Ignis says. His tone is urgent. “Aranea from the Niflheim Studios’ Business Division just called. Says it’s about Ardyn’s offer for a collaboration. Should I ask her to call back—“
“It should be okay, Iggy,” you tell him, waving a hand. “I was just about to go.” To Noctis, you say, “I think you should probably take that. You know how your uncle can get so utterly relentless.”
Before Ignis or Noctis could breathe another word, you hastily take your leave. Ignis gingerly closes the door behind you, and his discussion with Noctis is reduced into hushed whispers. You walk back to your workstation, and as quietly and quickly as you could, you take the opportunity to pack all your personal effects while no one is around. You have so many memories here in Lucis Labs that as you stuff each frame and trinket into the cardboard box, there‘s no use holding back your tears. The annual trips with the whole team, the late night dinners with the game devs, the caffeinated days of tireless convention weeks…
It’s slowly dawning on you that not only you are leaving Noctis behind, you are also leaving a ragtag bunch of geniuses you have come to consider as family.
Unsteadily, you carry your belongings, weaving your way past the dimly lit hallways, past the glass boards and collaboration spaces, past the array of black-and-white cubicles, and onto the lifts. Downstairs at the Citadel’s lobby, your footsteps echo against the mosaic floors that one of the guards turn to look at your direction. It happens to be Dave, whom you already consider a pal after all the help he has extended to you on occasions you have missed bringing your ID to work. He takes a glimpse on the box you have wrapped around your arms. He cast you a stunned look.
“How? Why?” Dave asks in disbelief. His graying hair and beard looks just as lonely as this evening.
“Found a new job,” you say with a small smile. You hope he doesn’t notice how your eyes are still wet with tears. Kindly enough, he says nothing. He only offers you a polite nod and a sad smile as he ushers you out of the turnstile.
Just when you’re only a few steps away from leaving the premises, you hear your name echo all over the vastness of the almost empty foyer from a very familiar voice.
You turn and you see Noctis running after you.
“Wait,” he says, and he’s panting like he’s taken all twelve flight of stairs in a hurry just to get to you. Or has he?
“Noct, please. If you’re here—“
“I’m not here to stop you from taking the offer,” Noctis cuts you off. He exhales loudly, catches another lungful of air, before he goes on, “If you think it’s best for your career, then I’ll support you. No matter what. I’ve always believed that you’re off to do great things, and I’m sorry if how I acted earlier made you think otherwise. I just… it’s hard for me to accept that I’m about to lose the best assistant one could ever ask for.”
“Please don’t say that. You still have Ignis.”
“But Ignis is not you. And he knows that, too.” Noctis steps closer to you, smiling. He takes the box off your hands and sets it on the floor. “So, now that you’re effectively no longer working for me, I guess I have to do one more thing.”
“What thing—”
Noctis does not let you finish the sentence when he crushes his lips with yours. He kisses you fiercely, in a way that loudly proclaims I’ve been feeling the same way about you, and I just don’t know how to show it.
Despite wanting to believe that this is all happening, your disbelief pulls you away from Noctis. Breathlessly, you say, “Wait, I just want to be clear—you… you like me?”
Noctis laughs. “Goodness. I don’t just like you—I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember. It’s just—” he bites his lip, reaches for the back of his head the same way he always does whenever he is at a loss for words, but he shakes his head and pushes through— ”it’s, uh, well… I know how you don’t like being involved with romantic affairs at work. I know how you keep your private life completely separate from your job, and I respect that. I didn’t want to complicate things for you, so I kept my distance, in a way. So… by the time I realized how strongly I feel about you, and after learning from the people in the office that it’s obvious that our feelings are mutual, let’s just say it felt like I am fucked.” He pauses, and the blush on his handsome face is in full bloom. Then, as if by some realization, the pleasant expression on his face wilts into a mild panic. “Shit, am I wrong? You don’t feel the same way, too, do you—“
“No, no!” You say quickly, catching him by his arms. “I… That’s not it. I do feel the same way, Noct. I’m just surprised, that’s all. I didn’t realize that it was so obvious for people to know. I never heard about it from anyone.”
“That’s because everyone is terrified of you.” Noctis smiles, and he playfully pinches your chin.
You frown. “You make me sound like I’m Cor.”
“Hey, don’t worry—he’s of a different calibre.”
You quirk an eyebrow. “So you’re not terrified of me? Is that it?”
“Well, I will always be terrified of you,” Noctis says teasingly. “Because it's one of the many reasons why I love you.”
This time, you yank him by the collar of shirt and pull him for another kiss. There exists a fraction of a moment in that kiss where time is in a standstill; your mind freezes, your heart stops beating, and there is only that rush of electricity racing down your spine. And then, all at once, the knots in your stomach have untangled. Your hands finally move on its own accord, and so does your lips.
He presses his forehead against yours. In a breathy whisper, he says, “I’m yours. I want to be yours. Will you be mine?”
“Yes,” you say, and you cannot help the smile tugging on the corners of your mouth. “I’m all yours.”
94 notes · View notes
vertigoambrosia · 5 years
Text
so i basically bought a chromecast just because the vimeo rocku app refuses to keep wxw videos in sync
wxw kinda lied about their site having native chromecast but fine
literally downloaded chrome again just to stream this
ok i think i just have to accept i don’t get bobby as a face
so we’ve got bobby, vinny, two shitty bois, and wholesome hamburger boy
it is a pun because he is very beefy
this is a pretty labored setup for this match
andy how can you talk about people needing to mature when you’re on the side of jay fk
is the mic constantly blowing or is the chromecast sound quality garbage?
nice flexing veit
avalanche please fuck jurn up
guys you have to help me talk to all these nice german boys i am very shy
esp ilja cause i won’t have a chance in new york
also pete bouncer is intimidatingly hot i can’t deal witht that by myself
i wish this were no dq instead of just no countout but i guess with carat coming up having a match with weapons might be a little much
sometimes big guy vs big guy matches don’t really hold my attention that well
just gets a lil slow - let’s punch each other on the outside
slowly
take a walk around the ring
also brawls that go around suck in person cause unless they’re right where you are, you have no idea what’s going on
lmaooooo did they just close the door on us
really?
...they;’re not even gonna cut to a recorded parking lot brawl?
ok
haha kelly is like ‘i kinda don;t think i should apologize at all but i’ll try anyway’
also: wearing a minoru suzuki shirt!
oh DAMN ‘you beat melanie gray? who HASN’T done that?’
oh julian...the hair
walter already annoyed he has to fight a child
this show is so weird; the matches feel so random
except for jurn/avalanche, but then that didn’t have an ending!
i’m guessing they fight in first round of carat but like...why book it here?
they’ve been hyping up ilja/tim on twitter so that shoul dbe fun...but also i guess they probablhy won’y be in the same sides of the bracket in carat?
oh that lil pele kick on the ropes was cute
oh my god these submissions walker is gonna break this child
walter trying to rip the shitty blond off of julian
i’m not gonna lie, i’m just being sort of sour right now with ringkampf obviously being phased out and ilja going to wwe and getting pulled of the new york show. also i feel like we’re really beginning to see the effects of cancelling shotgun on the storytelling, and tbh the writing./booking in general has been kind of off. i’m tired of things i really love and invest myself in  changing for...not exactle the better.
also i have a headache
anyway car boy put in a good effort before getting killed
yeah david ilu but that was kind of a dick move
hahaha david lecturing someone else about taking things personally
FINALLY, my rise bois
AWW look how proud lucky is of himself
them fumbling with the mic is so funny
who dis
oh it’s that leon guy
i feel like they’re assuming we are way more familar with him than we actually are
like, he wrestled a few matches like, a year ago or something; i’m not gonna recognize him
it’s weird too because wxw used to always have lower thirds for everyone
hey chromecast can you stop freezing for a sec
timo theiss is fun to heckle but his ~jetsetter~ character doesn’t really come across
though to be fair he just kinda shows up every once in a while
i don’t really have anything to say about this match
um
ok?
this sure is a choice
hahaha rainer ringer throwing his hands up in exasperation as they go backstage again
i mean i guess if they were gonna do a distraction spot, that’s a new one
wow just got a real good look at norman harris’ balls there
odd finish but good for u norman
timo promo package?????
awwwww tim
tim breaking my heart
holy SHIT that was one hell of a video package
this is a title match?
i bet this would have been better developed if we still had shotgun
(i’d like to say i’m done being sour for the rest of this post but unfortunatley i can’t shak eit right now)
jeremy graves putting his all into giving this match a story tho
oh! that was quite a flippy from leon
one of those ones where you barely understand what happened there
is marius from bielfeld? a surprising amount of people are behind him
why don;t they book leon von gasteren more often
hey fyi casting from your computer drains your battery ridiculously fast
awwww man if leon had won the title off of barely a pin that would have been crazy
honestly it’d be interesting to see marius lose it here; would be a surprise
oh chromecast thanks for freezing during the pin that was nice
oops being sour again
that was a silly but great plot segment
this match is very questionable but them barging in during the intermission is kinda funny
it would have been funnier if they had barged into the merch area though
or the locker room
everyone else is just fucking around and all of a sudden
LMAOOOOOOOO JURN
i mean i don’t really get why they didn’t just do that the first time they went out but whatever
ok see i wish we had known he was buddies with julian too
whatever marius
tim :3
omg wait what if tim starts selling his own merch like everyone else
this match is real good but my head hurts and i’m cranky
oh snap timo catching the enzigiuri
boys just taking a moment to sit
oh snap that was a nice counter to the butterfly
my psychiatrist upped my medication so i hope i can feel less sour and enjoy stuff more by the time i leave for carat
breaking news david starr is a really good promo
the bubtitles are weirdly lagging a lil
walter pretending like ringkampf is still a thing
ngl i do not feel like watching this main event but there might be plot afterwards
i wish they’d stop cutting to the wxw now logo before the entrances; it’s really annoying
hahaha jay just bouncing off veit
jeremy we fucking watched the opening promo you don’t need to recap it for us
i want jay fk to dig up one of bobby’s old pictures from when he was robert schilds and had that horrible haircut
vinny i can see your underwear and read the brand
ugh this everybody suplex spot is so stupid
veit miller is...not the diving type
also i shouldn’t have to say how i feel about the everybody dive spot
european clutch!
i am very ready for andy to not be champion and whine about it
LOL SOMEONE BROUGHT A SCHURLE JERSEY
or whatever soccer shirts are called
jurn realy
lmaoo cornered in the kitchen
....
just assume i said something sour here
oh we fucking finally getting the first round matches
rey fenix vs rey horus seems like a bit of a waste? like i assume they’ve fought in mexico so
oh snap ilja vs sekimoto is cool tho
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pandarth-omega · 6 years
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ok, time to write some coherent thoughts about this first semi. first off, wow. people have been calling it the best, strongest semi of all time since the participating countries were announced, and i always just sorta nodded my head along with that. it’s only now, when i’m seeing for real who missed out on the final next to who made it that i truly understand this statement and stand by it. the quality of music tonight was mostly excellent, even if a couple of the vocals weren’t quite there.
DISCLAIMER: i know jack shit about music and i’m pretty sure i’m at least somewhat tone deaf, so you can take anything i say regarding music/vocals with a handful of salt.
so with that out of the way, let’s do a country-by-country breakdown.
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AZERBAIJAN
decent staging, but a bit bland since she didn’t really move a lot after the first chorus. vocals seemed a little bit wobbly to me but nothing too bad. i enjoyed it. too bad it broke azerbaijan’s perfect qualifying streak but i can’t say i’m surprised given the other songs in the semi. maybe if it had a better position it could have sneaked into the final.
ICELAND
staging was pretty appropriate to the song, i liked the background changing colour. glad he ditched the metronome dance from the national final. vocals seemed pretty strong to me. overall a good performance but never a qualifier, especially from this semi. you can do it iceland, just keep trying!
ALBANIA
if you’ve been following me for a while (or just looked at some of my older posts) you’ll know i had very mixed feelings about the revamp. no longer. eugent fucking killed it tonight and my biggest fear was that he wouldn’t qualify. if i had to suggest an improvement, i’d say his staging was a little static when compared to the original music video (not the new weird one) but honestly that didn’t bother me too much. so hyped to see albania in the final WITH AN ALBANIAN SONG. this could lowkey be a dark horse this year.
BELGIUM
staging was pretty good, i’m a fan of how she started off like in the music video with the strip of light. vocals seemed pretty strong in the verse but faltered a bit in the chorus. honestly suprised this didn’t qualify given all the pre-show hype around it. it was never one of my favourites but i thought it would be one of the conteders for the trophy. guess i was wrong lol.
CZECH REPUBLIC
great performance. i’m interested to see what it would have been like if he hadn’t hurt his back, but the final result feels full. like, if i didn’t know they had to change it i wouldn’t have guessed that they did. i do, of course, have to mention the fact that the dancers dabbed. memes in eurovision continues! a little bit surprised that this qualified to be honest but i look forward to seeing him again in the final
LITHUANIA
in all honesty, one of the most beautiful entries in eurovision ever. like, i almost started crying towards the end there. loved her vocals, staging was simplistic but perfect and that one sentence in lithuanian was more than i hoped she would go for. so thrilled that this qualified.
ISRAEL
well let’s just say i’m not even remotely surprised that this qualified, though i kinda suspect it might not be in the top 3 of the semi. idk, just a gut feeling. performance was pretty much spot on although i think that the fast paced, erratic nature of the song makes it suffer a little live as it can never be as smooth as the studio version (obviously, but still). dancers in the background were great, chicken noises were great, just such a fun entry.
BELARUS
i have mixed feelings about this performance. overall the song has grown on me and while i liked certain aspects of his staging (quivering hands, rose on the camera, bow and arrose) certain other aspects were less appealing. looking at you, flowers growing out of spine. again, not surprised that this didn’t qualify.
ESTONIA
yeah, she gonna win.
.
.
.
in all seriousness, this was astounding. i wouldn’t put the song in my top 10 and probably not my top 20 either but i can’t deny a brilliant performance when i see one. everything from the dress to her vocals was spot on and i would honestly have been shocked if this hadn’t gone through.
BULGARIA
this was a great performance. i loved the effects and the different members’ roles in the song. i honestly can’t really find many words to describe this. just great. see ya on saturday.
MACEDONIA
pretty generic staging tbh but not in a bad way. wardrobe was - uh - interesting (do i smell a barbara dex award?) but vocals were pretty decent overall. not surprised we had to say goodbye but sad nonetheless. another nq year for macedonia. ~~just send crno i belo again, you got this~~
CROATIA
this has grown on me a lot since i first heard it and franka had strong vocals tonight but i found the staging to be a bit lacking. i mean, i’m no choreographer but i feel more could have been done with this. shame we won’t see croatia in the final but again, no real surprises there.
AUSTRIA
pretty solid staging. i’m sure that platform means something but idk what. he had strong vocals and was energetic, no surprise he qualified.
GREECE
i really liked this. her vocals were on point and the staging was pretty damn good, though it could have been a bit more dynamic at times. i thought for sure greece was a safe qualifier and i am in shock that gianna didn’t make it! i mean, how can something like “oniro mou” miss the final and then something like “rise up” make it? no hate against “rise up”, that was a bop, but seriously. this is probably what made me the most salty today. not just that greece’s 100% qualification streak is well and truly done but that a masterpiece like “oniro mou” now lies in the history books next to grimaces “utopian land”.
FINLAND
what a performance this was. glad to see she changed it up from the national final, though i’m not sure why she enjoys being upside down so much... i will admit i lowkey miss the neon colours a little. vocals were excellent, as expected and she qualified, as expected.
ARMENIA
ah yes, super salty vol 2. i don’t think i ever listed armenia as a sure qualifier but i always assumed it would reach the final. this is just such a powerful song and his vocals are just oh my god. i’m not sure what the significance of discount stonehenge was but it for sure looked in place. i just don’t know how this failed to qualify. speechless.
SWITZERLAND
i think it’s almost a tradition by now for switzerland to send something great and get robbed. i’m just saying if this were in semi 2 it would qualify for sure. i’m sad they decided to drop their neon triangles from the national final but i enjoyed their performance nonetheless. the ending was especially cool.
IRELAND
another song which has grown on me a lot. the performance was sweet and the dancers were great. the girl at the piano reminded me of molly sterling (ireland 2015 robbed fucking blind). i will admit i was surprised to see it qualify but i can see this being a dark horse as well.
CYPRUS
wow. what a way to end a show, right? she absolutely owned the stage and i am in love with the choreography. vocals were also fantastic, like how do you do all that dancing and are still able to sing??? this is definitely a contender for the trophy and to be honest i wouldn’t mind nicosia 2019. that much.
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whew that took way longer than i expected. i think for a first attempt at a detailed breakdown that was pretty decent. hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts and maybe i’ll do another one of these thursday night, depending on if i feel like it or not.
have a good one!
NOTE: the app won’t let me put more than 30 tags on this post for some reason so i’ll have to put the rest on from the desktop site but i cba to do that now so it’ll happen tomorrow this has now been done
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mikeswheeler · 7 years
Text
Happy One Year, Gain Train!
I’ve been apart of this GC that started out as a place to talk about Stranger Things for a whole year, today marking the official one year anniversary that this GC was formed - I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting this chat to really last, I’ve been apart of them before in the past and they usually die out with time, but somehow we’ve managed to stay just as strong (if not stronger) and I find that... really fucking incredible ??? It’s not even JUST a ST GC anymore, we literally talk about our day to day lives and other interests and it’s just amazing how well we bond over just about anything and everything. 
I didn’t have the time or motivation to really gif or put together a video in honor of this day, but I figured I’d be a huge sap and write to y’all directly. 
@eddiekaspbraks - Aimee, I don’t even know where to begin... you were the first internet friend I met in real life and I feel like that really set off the bond we have with each other to this day. I honestly don’t have the words to express just how much I care about you, like I’m talking I’d-die-for-you kind of care. I genuinely love you so much and I always feel like I can be my complete self around you, which is very hard to find so thank you for allowing me that. I’ve never quite had a best friend like you before in real life. I can’t say I love you enough and I wish you saw how truly incredible you are - You’re too hard on yourself, give yourself some room to breathe. 
@bill-denbroughs - SHELLY... you are the unproblematic favorite. You are the Mom of the group, you have so much light within yourself that just radiates without you even trying. I truly wish I had the aura that you had - Wholesome, genuine, pure, ambitious, positive as hell. I don’t think I’ve ever had a friend that keeps me grounded quite like you do. Thank you for reminding me when I’m being irrational, thank you for the warmth you provide in this group. 
@shesavedus - Syd, I have so much respect and admiration for you. I truly look up to you, I like how utterly ‘you’ you allow yourself to be. I see a lot of strength in you and I see how much care you put into the things you do and I just know you’re gonna go so far in life. Hell, everyone in this chat is gonna go so far in life. I’m betting all my money on that. I hope you’re able to notice all the good you got going on in your soul because there’s a lot of it. Thank you for your honesty and humor you provide in this group. You are truly one of a kind.
@reallylikeseggos - Alli, you shine so bright, I feel like I’m around a got damn shooting star when you’re around. You have so much personality and light and you’re so funny and it’s like, wow, wish that were me !! Even though we lost you to the Weebs, I still love you and I still admire you so much. I’m glad you’re more active in the chat these days, I’ve really missed your presence ! Thank you for being such a pure, genuine human being. We need more people like you in this world. 
@themikewheelers - Tori, I hope you know that I care about you a lot and that you’re basically stuck with me - you know I’d like never leave your side. Sometimes life is shitty towards you and I hate that so much, I wish I could take away the bad things and give you only good. You’re so freaking funny and we always have a good laugh and there’s so many memes and inside jokes with you which I appreciate. I can’t wait for Season 2 where we’ll cry about Emo Mike Wheeler together, it’s gonna be great!
@protectmike - Cait, I swear, you are so powerful and sometimes it intimidates me but in the best possible way ?? Like it’s definitely not a bad thing, it’s a really, really good trait. I just admire you so much for your exuberant persona and I love how shameless you are and you’re HILARIOUS and I feel like I’m talking to the got damn SUN when you’re in the chat. You’re way too hard on yourself, I don’t know why you are but stop it! You’re seriously perfect just the way you are, never change for anyone. 
@flea-and-the-acrobat - Sam, you’re like never on Tumblr but I’m forcing you to get on the hecking app to see this! ANYWAYS,,, Sam, you’re such a genuine person like you are the epitome of friendly and you just want what’s best for everyone and you have such good morals and I’m like ??? This kid is way too mature for his age, I swear ! You’re such an amazing person and I know things have been rough lately but I have hope that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and you are destined for such wonderful things. 
@stevenrogers - Marvin, I’m really glad you’re more active in the chat than you used to be (there was a period where you were not really there and I MISSED YA DUDE) - You always have the best freaking memes, I swear, like I can always count on you to lighten the mood of whatever is going on. You’re so blunt and funny and a really hecking good person ??? It’s really hard to come by people as real and genuine as you are, you’re definitely a diamond in the rough.
@cloeggo - CHLOE !!! I’m so glad you’re back in the chat and being active again, I’ve really missed having you around ! You are quite possibly one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met and you care so much about others, I’ve always loved how compassionate you are <3 I hope life continues to treat you well and you experience nothing but good things because that’s what you deserve ! <3
@the-weirdo-on-maple-street - Emma, you’re not very active in the chat these days, but I hope you know that I appreciate you so much and I love when you do pop in to say hi or to make a comment on something. I hope life is treating you well because I love ya so much and you’re such a lovely person and deserve the world! Maybe we’ll see more of ya when Season 2 drops, I hope so at least - I love having you around!!! <3
@eggogorgon - Dad, come home, we miss you... OKAY BUT SERIOUSLY, Blake where have you been ?? Y’all better be back for Season 2, if you ain’t there yelling about it with us I’m gonna be DISAPPOINTED ! But real talk, you’re a really cool dude and you make the best gifs wtf how do you have such a quality blog smh Talk about GOALS ! Anyways yeah, you’re really cool and I love seeing you on my dash and I just wish you were in the chat more smh WE MISS YOU !!! (also tbt when you unfollowed and refollowed me,,, thought we were friends...) 
@strangerwhee11ers - Adina, you’re never in the chat anymore and I see you occasionally in the other chat sometimes, but I MISS YA AND I HOPE LIFE IS TREATING YOU WELL ! I’m sure you’re just busy with life but yeah, I hope we see ya back for Season 2, we needa all yell together about the new content !! I love you so much !!! <3 
Overall, thank you to this group for providing me with some of the best memories of this past year and for always making my days lighter and brighter. Life would be a lot darker without them in it. Here’s to another year together! (I don’t even say hopefully, because I know we’ll still be kicking it for another year lmao we’re too ride or die for each other at this point!) Thank you all and I love you all so much, MWAH! <3
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clowngore · 7 years
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thank you for tagging me ?? @fucktional-slytherpuff idk you but wow great Rules: Answer all questions and tag 20 people. 1. What is your nickname? nizh probably 2. What is your zodiac sign? sagittarius 3. What is your favorite book series? i can't read 4. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? hell ya 5. Who is your favorite author? i can't read 6. What is your current favorite song? tbh the first youtube result for kashmir metal cover because kashmir is the song gwendoline thinks of when she's in character as phasma so it's like, her theme song, but the metal cover fits her more y'know 7. What is your favorite word? fuck 8. What was the last song you listened to? haunted mansion theme song 9. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? game of thrones bc i'm stereotypical 10. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? idfk but airplane and tombstone are always things i'll watch 11. Do you play video games? (sims music playing) (minecraft grass blocks breaking) (star wars lego theme song) yeah i'm a gamer B) 12. What is your biggest fear? being average 13. What is your best quality, in your opinion? every single thing i love myself 14. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? my ability to get overwhelmed after being alive for .5 seconds 15. What is your favorite season? autumn? or winter but i just really love halloween 16. Are you in a relationship? nah 17. What is something you miss from your childhood? cali-fucking-fornia 18. Who is your best friend? yumi n izzy n felix are the best friend trio 19. What is your eye color? l ight br o wn ?? ? 20. What is your hair color? rn it's purple but naturally it's dark brown almost black 21. Who is someone you love? the goddess of the universe who saved all of our souls simply by existing, gwendoline christie, 22. Who is someone you trust? the friend trio 23. Who is someone you think about often? ....................gwen 24. Are you currently excited about/for something? death 25. What is your biggest obsession? star wars or game of thrones idk 26. What was your favorite TV show as a child? spongebob hell yea 27. Do you have any unusual phobias? cherophobia 28. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? both 29. What is your favorite hobby? crying 30. What was the last book you read? i can't read 31. What was the last movie you watched? my cousin vinny i think 32. What musical instruments do you play, if any? sort of guitar but i'm shit 33. What is your favorite animal? bears bears bears bears bears 34. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? literally blog that consistently posts abt gwendoline 35. What superpower do you wish you had? shapeshifting 36. When and where do you feel most at peace? in my room, at night, aaaaaaaa and also the haunted mansion and pirates of the caribbean (the disneyland rides) lmao my childhood 37. What makes you smile? gwendoline. captain phasma. brienne of tarth. people complimenting me. cool clothing. me, when i look good. 38. What sports do you play, if any? is suffering a sport 39. What is your favorite drink? i fucking love matcha frappuccino with two shots of espresso 40. Are you afraid of heights? more like "don't push (person) off don't push them off don't push don't push them do not push them off don't do it i swear to god if you push them, which you will not, i will kill you do not push them" 41. What is your biggest pet peeve? gender roles and biases 42. Have you ever been to a concert? (laughs for an uncomfortably long time) (wipes tear) yeah 43. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? an actor or a singer or a president and damn nizh 2/3 44. What fictional world would you like to live in? star wars fuckin duh 45. What is something you worry about? currently school and This Person 46. Are you scared of the dark? nah 47. Do you like to sing? FUCK YEah 48. Have you ever skipped school? refer to 42 49. What is your favorite place on the planet? my room or disneyland 50. Where would you like to live? kerry co ireland or outside of sapporo japan 51. Do you have any pets? ya i got a cat n a dog 52. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? night owl 53. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? i like when the sun is on the opposite side of the world 54. Do you know how to drive? ): 55. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? headphones kill me 56. Have you ever had braces? yeah it's hell 57. What is your favorite genre of music? is rock too vague 58. Who is your hero? i can't answer these questions with anything other than gwendoline dhjsfjkdjs 59. Do you read comic books? i wish i would get around to it 60. What makes you the most angry? refer to 41 61. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? i like real books but i'm so lazy that i'm more likely to read digital 62. What is your favorite subject in school? leaving 63. Do you have any siblings? unfortunately i have two 64. What was the last thing you bought? that implies that i have money to spend (probably clothes) 65. How tall are you? 5'0 or 5'1 idk 66. Can you cook? can i use my brain ever 67. What are three things that you love? gwendoline, my ego, sleeping 68. What are three things that you hate? refer to 42, homophobes/transphobes, overwhelming things 69. What is your sexual orientation? bi???? idk but i love girls and in between and boys are kinda iffy i'm not sure if i like them i don't think so but it's Confusing 70. Where do you currently live? unfortunately the united states of prejudice 71. Who was the last person you texted? yumi 72. When was the last time you cried? idk last night prolly 73. Who is your favorite YouTuber? no one ? 74. Do you like to take selfies? ya way too much but it's justified bc i'm great 75. What is your favorite app? tumblr idk 76. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? it's fine 77. What is your favorite foreign accent? gwen's 78. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? idfk i'm too tired for this 79. What is your favorite number? 13 because i like to be edgy 80. Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting? space, the ocean is confining 81. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? idk i do what i want to 82. Are you allergic to anything? chocolate. dairy. idk 83. Can you wiggle your ears? i don't think so? 84. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? i'm never wrong 85. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? hhhhhhhhhhhhh idk??????? 86. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? nobody has given me advice but, everything gwen says is rly good and basically what i can say is: do things that you want if they, logically, make sense and are reasonable and don't hurt anyone. rules that are based on nothing and are just rules to be rules don't need to be followed. judge whether people need to be respected, only respect authority that deserves respect. society is wrong most of the time. if people don't like you it's not your problem and they can cry about it, you're still great and just because some ugly loser is wrong about you doesn't mean that you're automatically worse. 87. Are you a good liar? i'm an actor so 88. What is your Hogwarts House? idk 89. Do you talk to yourself? mhm 90. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert 91. Do you keep a journal/diary? i don't even keep my thoughts consistently 92. Do you believe in second chances? depends 93. Do you believe that people are capable of change? yeah but i don't wanna be the one to do it 94. Are you ticklish? literally nowhere 95. Have you ever been on a plane? ya a shitload 96. Do you have any piercings? my ears twice but i want more 97. What fictional character do you wish was real? literally take a fuckin guess (phasma) 98. Do you have any tattoos? god i wish 99. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? refer to 86. the decision to not care and to judge things for myself def makes me feel better about myself and the world because the pressures of society need to fuck off 100. Do you believe in karma? sorta 101. Do you wear glasses or contacts? no 102. Do you want children? adopt older (10+) children when i'm older 103. Who is the smartest person you know? lmao me (idk) 104. What is your most embarrassing memory? when i was in kindergarten this girl said her favorite color was either pink or purple and i really aggressively raised my hand pointing 1 finger and said "black!!" and everyone stared at me and my life has never been that bad 105. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? way too many times 106. What color are most of you clothes? black 107. Do you like adventures? idk i don't do shit 108. Have you ever been on TV? god i wish 109. How old are you? no 110. What is your favorite quote? "i became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity" and it's not because of the emo reason you think it actually makes sense if i explain it 111. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? idk 112. Have your friends ever badly disapponted you? side-eyes That Person 113. What is your favorite scent? cold 114. Random fact you know? every penny made before 1982 is actually almost fully copper, and if melted down is worth 2 cents 115. What is your opinion on long distance relationships? hard. just, really hard. not sure if it's worth it 
Tagging: @yumikoflare @one-bad-apple @boxer-pup @erosiian @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell and if anyone else wants to do them you should message me so i know to tag you in the future LOL
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jillmckenzie1 · 5 years
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The Silver Lining – Online Dating on the Road
Once upon a time, in a galaxy not so far away, I came across a guy on Bumble who immediately proclaimed in his bio that faith was the number quality that he was looking for in a woman. Okay. He then proceeded to say how much he loved positivity and hated photo filters: “Real is beautiful.” You got it, bud. I second the filter hate train. I mean, I’ll send you a dumbass video of me with cheeseburgers circling around my head, but a hard no on the cat ears for public visibility. In true Stephanie fashion, I led with: “Should I start sending all my Snapchat filter selfies now or later?” (don’t worry, the answer is yes, I do amuse myself). Here’s the part where you sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. His response: “Funny, Funny. I wonder what a vagina looks like filtered? Huh [insert light bulb emoji]. I have an idea. Test it out for us. Send me one both ways. I’ll let you know [insert smiley face emoji].”
What. The. Actual. Fuck.
Yep, this actually happened. Seriously. I responded and questioned why, on any planet in any point in time, he believed this response would be an acceptable way to speak to a woman. Ever. I recall using words like “disgusting” and “degrading” (I’m sure the screenshot is somewhere deep in the abyss of my iPhotos if you need evidence). His response? He was joking. Right. Super funny, dude. Real funny. Report. Block. Terminate. Bye.
If you’re single, you’re not surprised by this story. If you’re in a relationship, I hope to God you are completely astounded. And, while I often think dating apps are the absolute devil, it is also the current means to an end. Are you even a real single person if you are not on a dating app? Not even kidding. Okay, slight over exaggeration, but truly, never in our wildest teen years did us 30-something-year-olds imagine using our phones to score a significant other (AIM, sure, but not our phones).
So, I exist in my current reality. Fact: I’m single. Fact: I’m transient. Fact: I’d like to be in a relationship. Fact: I don’t care whether or not that relationship exists in a transient or stationary state. So, yes, if our vibe is high and you want to hop in the Airstream and explore every end of the earth, great. If you work in a job you love in a city that you call home, ask me to stay. Let’s ride the wave. Together. Because, seriously, doing life with someone who really gets you better than anyone else ever could is the real damn deal.
Back to dating. I don’t think anyone actually dates anymore. I am actually convinced that it’s not really a thing these days. There’s like pre-dating in which you entertain the idea of actually dating. And then there is friend-zoning or jumping deep into the abyss of quasi-matrimony. I speak with experience from the former, not the latter. And, mark my words, “friends with benefits” is so hot right now. I actually went toe-to-toe with two guy friends at a bar last weekend in a pursuit to convince them that the typical Millennial male is more often than not seeking a friend with whom he can simply have sex than an actual committed relationship (let’s just say they didn’t disagree). Because, I actually do believe that most men do not want to sleep around with handfuls of random girls. They seem to be perplexed by their own paradoxical existence of not wanting anything serious (i.e. being forced to attend your grandma’s 80th birthday with you) while simultaneously wanting to have sex as much as humanly possible.
Let me present to you exhibit A.
I moved to Denver in my Airstream last spring. I met a guy on Bumble who happened to be on the way to a bachelor party for the weekend. I assumed we would engage in an hour-long text conversation that would end with him asking me to send nudes or with him sending me a completely unsolicited dick pic (because, yes, as you can assume from the above scenario, guys really do that). I’d tell him to (a) Google a nude, any nude (most certainly not mine), if that’s what he wanted, or (b) I’d cuss him out for exposing himself like a disturbed and arrogant asshole, and I’d add another tally to my list of douchebags found in the wild.
Welp, surprisingly, he proved me wrong. Beyond that, he actually seemed interested in who I was as a human being, and he proceeded to text me non-stop over the course of the weekend. While at a bachelor party (I feel that this detail needs repeating).
So, he returns home three days later and we commit to actually meeting face to face (like, whoa). And, for lack of a better word, it’s flawless. We’re super funny together (priority one), conversation is natural, and chemistry is fire. We hang out for a few weeks, which inevitably leads to sex. Immediately, he drops the bomb: let’s be friends. Let’s. Be. Friends? Oh wait, I’m sorry, correction, let’s be BEST friends. Perfect. Great. Because, I’m really lacking in the best friend department (insert massive eye roll here).
At this point, I assume it will die out. I assume that he used the nice guy “let’s be friends” card in an attempt to save my feelings and he will vanish as quickly as he had appeared. But, no. He quite literally continues to pursue my friendship. For a month he asks me to do nearly everything with him. He also proceeds to pay for everything: climbing, concerts, movies. Let’s note here that he also proceeds to take my clothes off on a semi-regular basis (despite his constant commentary on us needing rules to prevent such happenings). Final bomb: after a Luke Bryan concert, while sitting on a bench enveloped by a Colorado night sky, he tells me that he loves my soul. I’m sorry, what? Like, we are dating, bro. We. Are. DATING. I don’t care what you title me, but let’s call this thing by its Urban Dictionary definition. He follows up this statement with the fact that I simply deserve better. One, I think I am being dumped for the first time without ever actually having been in an established relationship. Two, fuck off. No one gets to tell me what I deserve. I decide that. So, no, I don’t deserve better. You simply deserve less based on your own evaluation of whatever this thing is that we’re doing. Say that, please. Own that.
So, spring came. And, spring went.
Summer roared in like a lion, and I committed myself to rock faces and mountain peaks, two things that I find to be (surprisingly) much more predictable than men. I also dove even deeper into my work (don’t worry, the digital dating gods still delivered amidst my commitment to my professional projects).
Enter exhibit B.
As a freelance creative director and brand strategist, I work remotely for all of my clients. Idaho. California. Kentucky. Texas. I sometimes wonder if I have a subconscious goal to knock off all 50 states. With all that being said, I met a guy in another state who pursued me completely on his own accord. My vision had always been to travel with my Airstream, but I was never 100% certain on dates. This guy gets my number, he uses round-about questions to engage me in some witty banter, and low and behold he says, “Move down here and I’ll fix all your dating problems.” Wow. Bold statement. I like it. So, after a couple months in this state of flirting euphoria, I commit (amongst a sea of many factors, but I’m intrigued by what’s happening here). He calls me pet names and we have running jokes, and if you know me, these are the keys to my heart. So, I’m smitten kitten. Without any expectation of what will actually become of it. If anything.
The point here is that I show up. I have the luxury of saying yes and then doing something about it. I want to be next to him, so I choose that. Because his voice brings this uncanny smile to my face, and when his name appears on my iPhone notifications, there is a simultaneous level of excitement and comfort. He is fireworks, and he is coming home. And the beauty lies not only in the feeling, but also in the reciprocation of the feeling. Because, there is zero bone in my body that has interpreted anything that he’s told me as being untrue.
Until I’m there. Until I’m standing in front of him begging for every inch of contact. And, that alone becomes the culmination of months of aggressive flirting. Me. Begging (like, seriously, just kiss me before I scream). Because he likes me, but he doesn’t know. I’m sorry, what? Yes, he likes me, but he doesn’t know. Because, self-admittedly, he is a tease. And, he likes it, even though he’s not proud of it (his words, not mine). Perfect. Great. Because, my character flaw is not consuming enough water daily. The effect of this flaw on other people: zero.
At this point, I need to clarify two things. One, I respect people who have an awareness about what they do not know. There is nothing wrong with not knowing. I would take harsh honesty over a sugar-coated lie ten times out of ten. My frustration or disappointment or bewilderment exists in the actions that suggest otherwise. I get it, the pursuit is fun, but if you are not ready to take the elk out of the woods after the hunt, then why are you going hunting in the first place? Terrible metaphor, by the way, but rolling with it. Two, I do not believe in forcing anything in life. I spent far too many years making things happen in the pursuit of checking off items from some proverbial checklist (which is entirely bullshit, by the way). So, for someone not to choose me does not devastate my being. Yes, I have feelings. Lots of them. Too many of them, probably (hello, Leo over here). But, in a world where we get to choose everything (for argument’s sake), I’m not into forcing anyone into a choice that involves me.
What I have observed in this last eighteen months of singledom is that no one wants to commit. To anything. There is no need to commit to anything. Most guys are on dating apps to have sex. Okay, rephrase, most guys are on dating apps posing like they want something substantial in order to get sex. I actually have the most respect for bios that read, “If I’m being honest, just looking to hook up.” Bravo. Kudos to you, dude. Because, I have had my own seasons of wanting more and wanting less. And, there is nothing wrong with either choice. There is nothing wrong with existing in either space. It’s the lack of honesty that burns me to my core. Stop flirting with me if it’s not going anywhere. Stop wasting my time. I don’t need more friends off of Bumble, or sliding into my DMs, or through obscure means of getting my phone number. Truly. I’ve reached my lifetime quota after 34 years.
In tandem, what I have observed in the last eighteen months about myself is that I am, most certainly, a lover and believer of words. And, that is the crux. That online dating, or simply just dating, is this whole show of words. That are so easily believed. And it’s just all shit. If I had a dollar for every guy who suggested running away with me in my Airstream, I would have been able to pay straight cash for my new F-150 a few weeks ago. Seriously. There’s one in LA, and a couple in New Jersey, a handful in Texas, and so many in Colorado that I’ve actually stopped counting. Because the minute I say, “Okay, I’m calling you on this statement,” my experience indicates that they can’t live up to it.
Great, tell me all about your fantasies, homeboy, only to ghost two days later (or, better yet, I find out about your undying love for your current girlfriend on your second to last Instagram post from five days ago). Newsflash, smoother operator, this is my actual life over here. Hope you enjoyed your glimpse.
So, yes, I’m attempting to not grow cynical. I’m also attempting to unpack two very real personal questions. One, if a game must be played in order to win the affection of another, and that game requires me to act outside of my normal state, then am I even winning if I do “win?” For example, guy articulates that he doesn’t know if he wants anything. Then, the same guy asks for me to bring him food because he’s stuck at work. I show love through service, so naturally, my being is dying to deliver said food. But, guy advice (based on my current inner circle) is usually, don’t bring him the food: “He’s using you. If he can’t say that he wants you, but is willing to get favors from you, show him that you don’t have time to do him favors without him giving you a respectable level of commitment.” And, this is fair. This actually makes sense. But, still, I deliver the food (yep, that’s me) because, yep, that IS me. And, I don’t want to be anything but myself. Ever.
Two, what is my responsibility to give people space to be honest and themselves but also to guard my own heart in that process? I believe in ease. I believe that there are certain things in life that mysteriously and beautifully fall into place. I’d like to believe that a romantic relationship would unfold in a similar fashion. But, if this guy says he doesn’t know and then proceeds to engage with me in a fashion that suggests otherwise, should I believe his actions or his words? And, the fact that I’m asking that question is my answer, right? If the right person were standing in front of me, I’m confident I wouldn’t have to be choosing between his actions and his words in the first place because there would be an alignment in both areas that carries the level of integrity that I demand for in my own self. Yet, here I am, FaceTiming my best male friend at 7:32pm on a Wednesday night to ask how to respond to the 47th text message from a guy who just doesn’t know what it is that he wants from me, making me perplexed on how to proceed with my own verbiage and actions.
At this point, let’s add the nomadic element to the mix. And, I am quite confident that therein lies a bigger piece to this commitment-phobic puzzle. Because, it is easy to fall into a routine with someone who resides within your city limits and has a similar schedule to your scripted life. It is an entirely different thing to choose a person who has the freedom to leave. To ask someone to stay requires a deeper level of commitment. It means that someone is choosing for me to do life alongside him, and it means that we are taking off into the sunset together or I am abandoning the road to call someone my home. Ultimately, that choice is my desire. Because, the more I embark on adventures alone, the narrower the gap becomes for me to experience those things for the first time with someone else.
And, I’m starting to question whether or not anything is actually beautiful without it being shared, without it being seen through two sets of eyes in the same moment, if anything is real without the conversation of that thing existing between two coherent bodies.
So, I continue to sit and manifest these desires in the belief that, one day, I’ll be done with the exhibits. That, one day, someone will choose me, and I will choose him back. Without force. Without fear. Without the twenty questions. Granted, maybe I’ve already missed out on Mr. Perfect somewhere in between. Because I didn’t like his shoes. Or his haircut was weird. Or, I swiped left because he failed to include a bio (c’mon, guys). Regardless, I know that wanting something requires attention to that thing. I know that wanting someone requires intentionality to his existence. So, I’m here. Showing up. Attempting to live outside of our digital dead zone. Attempting to keep doing the work to have that one thing that my heart yearns to explore. I can reason that if it were easy, then everyone would do it. Like, really do it. It’s not easy. Not everyone does it. Like, really does it. But, it will damn well be worth it.
Meanwhile, if you need help with your pickup lines, don’t hesitate to slide into my DMs. They’re currently still free for the taking.
from Blog https://ondenver.com/the-silver-lining-online-dating-on-the-road/
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daughterofdescartes · 6 years
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Why my first ‘situationship’ was doomed from the beginning: a personal Romeo & Juliet story
LONG BUT NECESSARY INTRODUCTION
Ah, failed ‘relationships’. It happens to the best of us. It always ends with hurt feelings, you know, because life is programmed to make us all suffer, since nobody knows why we’re here on this planet anyway! I’m turning 20 in December, and am getting over my very first “special someone” *sighs and looks into the distance*... I’m just kidding he wasn’t that special, just happened to be the first dude I had a “thing” with, that’s all. Even though he’s not that special, the experience I went through involving this guy is what changed my life. Yup, I just said that. Sounds hella dramatic, but i’m literally a changed woman. It was a spiritual journey from beginning to end. 90% of the people who know me don’t even know this happened to me. So, if you’re reading this, consider yourself very lucky! Or not, this is going to be really long and I don’t know how interesting I can make this, but stay with me, you guys...
If you want to know what happened, I can tell you this story very shortly without any of the details, and it will just seem like a very dumb story between two youngsters who both didn’t know what they were doing, like my own modern twist on Romeo and Juliet lol. 
TLDR: I met an emotionally unavailable American guy on a dating app, we talked for a week and then we told each other that we liked one another. After another week, I got very overwhelmed and said that we need to take a break. A month had passed and we started talking again. I got immensely insecure because at this period i was the only one texting first. Confronted him with my insecurities many many times. We still talked for a time span of around 3 months. Right now we haven’t spoken in over 3 weeks and I have honestly accepted that this whole situation was doomed to fail from the beginning and am reborn as a new person.
Honestly? I don’t think I’m very heartbroken at all. But this whole experience did tamper with me psychologically, so it’s not like I have no healing to do or anything. I went through a lot of emotional suffering, never truly understanding where it was coming from, but during my evening walk with my dog, a light bulb lit up above my head... (a sockhop beneath my bed, press like if u get the ref xd)
Just so you guys know, this McGuy still haunts my mind everyday. Not all the time, but the thought of him or what has happened, will cross me at least once a day. With this experience being very ‘spiritual’ and all, I have been thinking, a lot. I know, very deep of me. I’ve been thinking a lot about who I am as a person and why I am the way I am and suddenly... it all clicked.
I was always thinking about him and his actions, but when I started seeing the bigger picture, aka including myself in the story, it suddenly made a whole lot more sense. It was never really about him, it was about Me. So here’s kind of a prologue talking about my history after this long ass introduction. 
PROLOGUE
In my 19 years of existence I had never before messed with anyone romantically. I always just crushed on people, not knowing if any feelings were reciprocated, not knowing if there were any secret admirers (doubt it). I’m not ignorant of the reasons why i’ve been celibate my whole life. I know that i’m kind of shy, pretty insecure, look unapproachable as fuck, not a 10 out of 10 according to society’s standards, etc. 
I used to have a harder time coping with the fact that I had never once experienced mutual ‘romantic love’, but when years and years pass by, you just realize that being a celibate teenager is okay. Although I was okay with it, I still had my moments of frustrations. “What’s wrong with me? Why hasn’t anything happened yet?” But always got myself back on my feet again, telling myself I’m fine and just need to be patient. You’re young, you’ve got lots of time! What’s the rush? Even if majority of your friends already had their first kiss in 9th grade; it’s no big deal, right? You just gotta keep yourself busy with other teenager things like, procrastinating school work, being angsty and rebelling against your parents, spending time on the interwebs and whatever else the teenz do.
So, I kept myself busy throughout middle school and high school, had at least one crush every year, because ya girl gets bored sometimes. Most of them weren’t that meaningful, since I kind of suck at talking to guys in general, because I think they’re aliens. So, I never really got to know most of my crushes as people. It was still a fun time regardless, because who cares about rejection, if you just keep it a secret forever? Except for this one dude I obsessively crushed on for 6 years (while simultaneously crushing on other people, wow multitasking Queen), and Young 14 Year Ol’ Me thought it was a very good idea to tell All my Friends in 8th-9th grade, because 14-15 year olds are so trustworthy and won’t tell anyone, right? I’m pretty sure that guy knows how much I liked him and is kind of creeped out, but 14 year old me was just very excited and infatuated.
Anyways, I graduated high school with ok results and 0 romantic experience! Now this is where life Really Begins!!!!! Time for UNIVERSITY!!! *crowd cheering* 
I’ve always been a creative, artistic soul, though I think that quality is diminishing more and more every year, or maybe I’m just imagining it. Nonetheless, I didn’t Really know what I wanted to study, but have always considered architecture an option because of its creative side. 
Boy. 
Most tiring semester of my life. You only understand once you experience the archilife. I once pooped and when I was done, I stood up and looked back, I literally was astonished at the sight of my own feces, because I had literally forgotten that I had pooped, that was how tired I was. If you are grossed out right now, grow up. We all poop. 
This major is extremely grueling and taxing on both your physical and mental health. If you’re a procrastinator, oh boy, now that’s adding fuel to the fire. I kept procrastinating finishing/starting my preparation for the final big presentation and ultimately had a big mental breakdown, and decided that I wanted to quit architecture. It was never my passion anyway, and this is one of the majors you must be passionate about, or else you won’t make it out alive unless you’re a masochist. 
What comes next after architecture? Sinology aka Chinese studies. I only grew up speaking Shanghainese, so mastering the Mandarin language is something that I have literally always wanted. I was always insecure about my Mandarin skills, so let’s just do that lol. 
No matter how awful architecture school might’ve been, I still met some cool people that I really clicked with. (I’m talking like people you can count on one hand, I’m not that social, okay) Which I was really happy about, because I was scared I wasn’t going to have any friends, because I kind of suck at making them. 
Changing majors was a big shift, suddenly I was all by myself again and had to go through the whole making friends progress again, schucks. 
The architecture campus is in Brussels, while the campus for linguistics is in Leuven. Brussels is a lot more diverse, I would say, so there are less white Belgians. 
Let me tell you something about white Belgians, they are horrible at socializing. Especially the province I live in. They’re horrible. I’m also horrible. Conclusion? Making friends in a predominantly Belgian white class, was freaking hard! BECAUSE NO ONE EVEN CARES ABOUT GETTING TO KNOW YOU!!! THEY JUST LOOKING AT THEIR PHONE BITCH!!!! OR TALKING TO THEIR OWN CLIQUE BEING BORING STAYING IN THEIR COMFORT ZONE!!!! Why do new kids in American movies get so much attention, but the two times I’ve been the new kid literally no one cares. That’s the sad reality of life. I mean Hello? If y’all are not gonna make effort to become friends with me? Are you trying to say? That I have to do the work? Bitch? 
So a month had passed, and I still had no friends, it was pretty darn lonely, but I was getting there slowly. But here’s a funny thing! On one of these lonely nights, I was watching a youtube video and it was sponsored by GUESS WHAT? a dating app! WOW... Now here’s where The Story beginz..
CHAPTER 1: INCOMING
So ya bitch was entertaining herself on YewChewb, I was watching some video from some Chinese American guy, and in this glorious video, he is advertising this dating app called EastMeetEast... Yeah, it’s a dating app where Asian people meet each other. Me, a bored lonely dumbass bitch, was like okay, let’s see what this is about. This should be Funny!!! So I made a profile, with some catfishy pictures of myself, you know, take her swimming on the first date and all that shit. So, I match with a few guys okay fun, (you could only match with, only girls or only guys) And this dodgy app requires men to pay for the app so that they can message with girls, because if you use it for free, they can’t see girls’ messages or something weird? Mind you, girls can see and send messages for free. We love this reverse sexism!
Also, this app isn’t very popular in Belgium, mainly American people use it, so ya. I mainly matched with Asian Americans. 
Turning-point, The Life-Changing Encounter of Death: I match with a 19 year old with the initial A. We’ll call him A for the rest of the story, like some fun little mystery like in Pretty Little Liars. (I’ve never watched it) He only had one picture, but he’s cute. Half Italian, half Chinese. Ok, fun. So shortly after matching he sends me this message on the app: “if you want to talk my username is @_________”. He didn’t really put anything in his bio if i remembered but one thing that was stated on his profile is the HIGH SCHOOL he was in. First red flag. HIGH SCHOOL. First of all, what the fuck. Second of all, why the fuck? But ok lonely ol’ me was feeling Adventurous and this matching with people thing was fun. Male validation did not exist to me before this historical day and chatting with a good looking guy was unheard of.
It didn’t really say what social platform the username was for, the platform always get censored because the app just wants you to pay for the app to talk with people, crayzy. But i just assumed i’d find him on instagram, because that’s where everyone’s texting nowadays. I found him and followed him. He followed me back and messaged me, bingo.
We talk for a short while. I said some cringy ass shit I would literally never say to anyone in real life, because a shishter was feeling very Bold that day. I have never said cringier shit than when i was talking to this guy. It wasn’t anything creepy I just complimented his looks and all he said was “thanks, i’ve seen your pics too. very pretty.” Uh? Who talks like this? What kind of dry ass chicken breast are we eating here? He tells me he’s a high school senior and is born in ‘99. Stayed back a year since he migrated from Cuba to Miami. OK, interesting. 
So after shortly introducing ourselves to each other, he suddenly asks if he can have my number? and I was like ??????????????????????????? Why?????????? Forgetting that people actually talk on iMessage, I barely ever do that. But that’s what A meant. I was sceptical but intrigued. 
We talk some more. Doesn’t seem like a bad guy, and he texts back quickly. This is entertaining. When once again, A asks me a sudden question. “Can I call you? We don’t have to if you don’t want to.” My head is full of question marks and I start getting sweaty at the thought of having to call a person I barely know. Like I guess this is American culture? Or I just don’t understand calling culture because I have no friends who enjoy calling? But I was like? Calling? That hateful thing my parents force me to do when mailing is not quick enough? Why would you want to do that?
So I’m like, “UH. I DONT KNOW MAN. I’VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE SO I’M KIND OF NERVOUS LOL. I DON’T THINK I’M READY FOR THIS” (not actually in caps, but this symbolizes my very nervous energy) 
And he replies, “It’s okay. I don’t want to push you into doing anything you’re not comfortable with.”
We were literally talking as if he was asking me to have sex with him, when it was just about a dumbass call. It’s so funny. 
Whatever, we continue talking. It’s time for me to sleep. He says “Buenanotte Bella” ..... ?????? OK.
Next day comes, we talk again. He once again asks out of the blue if he can call me??? So I say
“Are you really that curious?”
“Well, aren’t you?”
I was curious, so I caved in and let him call me. It was so nervewracking. The only men I interact with on a regular basis in my life are my dad, brother and my dog. 
Boy, the moment I heard that voice say “hey”. That’s the moment I got hypnotized and became a clown for nearly 5 months. I didn’t know you could be this attracted to a voice, but okay. Unfortunately, my voice cannot compare and he did not get hypnotized in return. Wack.
The call wasn’t too bad. It’s cute looking back at it. I couldn’t believe a guy actually wanted to talk to me. That person texting me, was a real human being with a real voice. I was fucking wonderstruck over the fact that a good looking guy was talking to me so I was on cloud 9, Okay? lmao 
So the time difference between A and I is 6 hours right. Most of the time we’d start talking when it was evening in Belgium, so for A it was always in the afternoon. Only he could say good night to me, and I never could to him. This created a pretty big inbalance in the attachment levels imo.
In this chapter (the first 2 weeks) he would always ask me what I was doing. Like that’s not your business sis. I don’t wanna tell you that i’m a loser that’s not doing shit even though she has shit to do??? But apparently he always wanted to see if I was busy or not so he knew he wasn’t disturbing me and so that he could, you guessed it, call me. 
Everyday, we would text each other, and that was fine, until the dreaded question came. “Can I call you?” BITCH WHY DO YOU WANNA CALL SO BADGSJOGJOISGJI I SWEAR. I didn’t absolutely hate it, but there were just factors that made me not like calling very much. (nearing the end i definitely came to hate it)   
1. I don’t want my parents hear me call with a guy (I literally could’ve worn my earbuds I don’t know why I never thought of it... we stan a dumbass bitch)
2. Sometimes there was literally nothing to talk about because we’re foremost still strangers and it was awkward
3. The fact that I wanted to hide this from my parents, made me highly aware of how loud I was speaking and I couldn’t fully express myself, scared that my parents would barge in on me calling.
4. 90% of his jokes flew over my head, they weren’t that funny. I’m sorry, A. I’m funnier. And that’s just tea.
5. EVEN DURING THE CALL when there was nothing to talk about he’d be like “so what’s up wyd” bitch? calling you? I couldn’t concentrate on anything else everytime because I was a nervous wreck.
6. Even if I wanted to do school work, I would push that aside to call him because, I wanted to hear his voice. Ke$ha - Your Love is My Drug
7. BECAUSE I WANTED TO HEAR HIS VOICE we would even call until 4AM TALKING ABOUT LITERALLY NOTHING IT WAS SO AWKWARD WHY KILL MY CLOWN ASS. I RUINED MY SLEEPING SCHEDULE FOR THAT DONKEY
Our text conversations were honestly, more fun, because when we were calling, a bitch couldn’t think straight. Our calls were most of the time not that fun I don’t understand why he wanted to call everyday. 
Mind you, the shyer i get, the more monotone I get. So I would react very coldly and in a stiff manner during the calls just saying: “Yeah.”, “Sure.”, “Wow.”, “Ok.�� BECAUSE I didn’t have time to think and didn’t know what to say 99% of the time. So a week after getting to know A, during the 64th silence in one of our calls, he says this:
“This is gonna sound really insecure but, do you even like talking to me?”
“Yea.” 
So romantic...... I’m swooning...... Pick me up......
Call ends. It’s almost time for me to sleep, but I’m still thinking about what he said right there, so I text: 
“Would a person really stay up until 4AM calling someone although they don’t like talking to them? Silly” JGOIJGOIDSGJOSIGJOS JUST SHOOT ME RIGHT NOW I CAN’T BELIEVE I SAID THAT 
And then he said something along the lines of “I don’t know if you’re talking to me because you’re just bored, or there’s something more.Like tell me what you want from me, woman” like??? woman?????? SECOND RED FLAG DONT CALL ME WOMAN SHUT THE FUCK UP I HATED THAT SO MUCH 
So i was like “idk what do YOU want from me??” And he was like “well” and i was like “i’ll say it too u go first” (lmfao) and then he said
“Honestly I’d like to be romantic with you but, you know, there’s an atlantic ocean between us” and at that moment my heart dropped when I read this text because this might as well have been the smartest point A has ever made in the 4 months of talking to him. He’s right. This humongous distance has slaughtered any budding of any kind of relationship from the very beginning. 
Dude never liked me enough to actually want to initiate a meeting, I don’t blame him. The boy was bored and created an account on a dating app because his friends told him about it. I bet he wasn’t really planning to find an Asian European lover in his last year of high school. 
But who was naive/delusional enough to convince herself that MAYBE these two people who aren’t even that compatible in the first place, could maybe MEET someday and FALL IN LOVE??? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With the word ‘romantic’ he probably means fuck, i mean do high school boys actually know what romance is uh. The biggest thing that could have developed in under a week is a small little crush. Anyways, i did not realize this properly and took his statement very seriously and thought “Wow a boy just said he likes me WoW, we will make this Love happen No Matter What” I was thrilled. 
Next morning I wake up, I’m a ball of sunshine. A guy 7876768 kilometers far away from me says he likes me. That is so meaningful. Wow.... 
While I was talking to A, I still matched with other dudes on that stupid app out of boredom, but never talked to them because in my maiden’s ♥heart♥ A was still nr. 1, because he just said he likes me WoW. So while messing around on that app, i keep noticing there’s a green dot next to A’s name, meaning he’s active on the app. And i’m like hmm..... ......................
Me, a nosey bitch, said somethign dumb like “oh you’re active on weird hours” and he just said
“yeah, left it open and let my friends mess around with it” 
.................................hmmmmmmmm investigation time even though it’s literally not my place and I am not entitled to any form of commitment at all 
Let’s talk about the biggest red flag of all red flags that I decided to ignore,
A’s instagram account. Let’s talk about it. 
His username does not include his name, there are NO pictures of him in his feed, only posts dank memes and likes his own posts and if you look at the people he’s following, you see something very interesting!
Half of it are instagram accounts of Asian girls... And most of them weren’t even like popular accounts like they were just really freaking random accounts most of the time, and other ones were girls he met on EastMeetEast.
Yup........ I looked at his moderate collection of Asian girls and thought. Wow this makes me uncomfortable, but he said he likes me, and I don’t think anyone else will ever like me so I should stick to him..... I guess!!!
The only redeeming factor of his instagram is that his profile picture is a kitten, I think her name was Eko or something. Don’t let him hurt you, kitty cat. 
So discovering this information, I felt hurt. He said he wants to get ‘romantic’ with me??? Why is he still collecting other Asian girls when clearly, we will fall in love someday? 
To confirm my already confirmed suspicions that he isn’t in love with me, I send my Indonesian best friend on a mission and let her create an account on EastMeetEast. I told her to try match with him. THEY MOTHAFUCKIN MATCHED I LITERALLY DONT KNOW WHY I WANTED THIS TO HAPPEN THAT HURT LIKE A MOTHAFUCKAR AT THE TIME. MIND YOU, I TOLD HIM MY BEST FRIEND IS INDONESIAN, AND HE SEES THAT AN INDONESIAN BELGIAN WANTS TO MATCH WITH HIM, WHEN 10 PEOPLE IN BELGIUM USE THIS APP. JGSIDOGJOSGJOISGJ MEN ARE SO STUPID
Notice the sudden spike of emotional instability and irrationality after he told me he liked me? It’s extremely important actually. At the time, I did not understand what I was going through emotionally. And I think if you’re just casually reading this, you might be wondering what was wrong with me too. Thank you for worrying about my wellbeing, you are a better person than A. 
So increasingly, I get more and more nervous concerning literally everything that is not pointing towards the direction that he is in fact in love with me, after one week. That’s 7 days, if you will. 
I myself was also questioning my sanity throughout this whole process, because I never thought I would go that far. I talked about other guys to see if he would get jealous. (I don’t really think he cared lmao), constantly checked his activity on instagram (he just likes dank memes about fucking girls or something, what a chad)
Week 2 chimes in, I can tell he still ‘likes’ me, talks about stuff that happens in his American high school life, boasts about literally anything possible to make himself look good, jokes around, some intellectual conversations here and there between a weirdo horny for Asian girls and the most hopeless romantic to have existed.
I was watching a very stupid Belgian reality show, reminiscent of ‘Jersey Shore’ or ‘Ex on the Beach’ that kind of stuff. And I touched on the topic that, men cheating on women is highly popularized in media, and i said that women probs cheat just as much but are better at hiding it,
and he said, “Ha, I would know about that” 
And I was like aw, I’m sorry. He talked about the fact that he had many failed relationships, most of the girls breaking up with him, if I remember correctly and eventually I got curious over the amount of partners he’s had in his 18 years of being alive, so I asked about it.
And he says “I don’t know, I don’t keep track of that stuff” 
??????????????????????????????????? ???????????,
My heart started racing at this point. I was like “What do you mean?” 
A says, “I just don’t count that stuff” And in my mind, my inexperienced maiden’s mind could not comprehend that you could be with so many people at such a young age that you lose track of the number? Actually, you know what, anyone with a healthy mind will find this hard to comprehend, i’m not the crazy one here in this case. Like I look at his instagram, and look at what he says and it doesn’t add up LMAO. Also he kind of fucking sucks at communicating how did he manage to cop that much pussy? 
I kept asking for a number and he just keeps saying “I don’t know. It shouldn’t really matter right? I don’t keep track of that stuff.” But I was just so fucking pressed like? WHAT????? HOW CAN YOU LET SO MANY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL THAT YOU CAN’T COUNT THEM. YOURE 18, IS THIS AMERICA????? IS THIS WHAT CHILDISH WAS RAPPING ABOUT?????? 
I was pissed because he just kept refusing to even give a rough estimate, I’m a capricorn we love em statistics (idk what i’m saying)
So I was angry and gave him short answers. Guess what he sends,
“Call?” 
I say, “No” 
Iconic.
But a few minutes later I give in??? I DON’T KNOW WHY???? LMAOO and we call but it was This Very Last Call that Killed Me
 The Call of Death
Call starts. I’m still pissed about the whole thing and he goes,
“So... what’s the beef with my romantic past?” 
And I say I just really wanted a number because I wanted to at least have an estimate to have something to grasp onto???? fuck so he’s still very irky about it, doesn’t wanna talk about it, MAYBE BECAUSE HE LIED???? BITCH?????
He says “idk maybe over 20″ ...........????? that’s a larger number than his own age and if you do the math he would have had his first serious girlfriend at 12 years old he would have to have had at least 3 to 4 girlfriends every year....??? is this Floridian culture? Is that normal?  Is he talking about anime girlfriends in dating sim games???? 
So this whole topic just upset me like no other, it confused me, I mean what the fuck is he talking about JGOIIJGOISDJGOSDJGOISJG
It got pretty quiet. When A suddenly says 
“You know, if you don’t want to talk to me, we don’t have to” 
“Hm. Maybe I don’t”
“Ok.”
The whole call goes dead fucking silent for like more than 10 minutes or something. I was just lying in my bed, scrolling on my phone, trying not to breathe, so the mic can’t catch any sound and I am internally dying. 
The silence felt like it lasted forever. I didn’t have the guts to end the call. But i said something dumb to break the silence because I couldn’t take it anymore. Idk what I said.
Not too long after breaking the silence, it was so fucking awkward i don’t even know what we were talking about. Clearly, I’m traumatized and my brain is protecting me from whatever happened that night, which I’m thankful for.  
So, not too long after breaking the silence, A says very abruptly, something along the lines of, “I’m home now, bye.” and ends the call. ?????????????
To add to the context, he would mostly go on walks during our calls, what a fit Chad. He really spent some evening walks, just calling me, climbing trees, stealing furniture, talking about literally nothing, that’s so iconic.........  
Anyways that felt absolutely terrible, and I knew I never wanted to do that again, fuck. 
I woke up the next morning feeling just as horrible, not exactly sure why but the previous night had upset me severely. Throughout this whole day I was questioning my sanity, the ‘relationship’ jodsigjosgj, and also wondering, who the fuck is this dude i’m talking to? 
Realizing how much each and every word and action affected me mentally, I felt that I was losing control.
My inner thoughts: This guy is a freaking weirdo. He said he likes me, but then does all these things I do not approve of. I started liking him without really getting to know him and now I face the consequences! We should stop talking for the sake of my own sanity!!!
I’ve been talking about A to two of my close friends, they both roasted him and said I need to leave him, since he’s making me feel miserable with these extreme highs and lows.
That day, I decided A and I should stop talking. This way, I won’t feel the way I feel anymore. Actually felt pretty conflicted, because at this point, I had already grown attached to A. He helped me fill my loneliness when I didn’t have any friends yet in my new major and despite all the red flags, I still wanted to see the good in him. I mean, he said he likes me??? Can’t let that pass!!!!!
I confronted A and asked if he was angry during our last call with the long silence and all. 
He says, “No, I was just joking around” 
????????????????? Idk how dense I really am? But that atmosphere felt heavy and both of us weren’t laughing so I don’t know where the hell he’s coming from LMFAO. But anyways, I tell him what happened last night really upset me for some reason and that maybe we should stop talking, because talking to him everyday had taken an emotional toll on me. 
A says, “Ok, if cutting me off is what you really want, then do so” 
A keeps typing, then stops, keeps typing, then stops. 
“Can you at least tell me what I did wrong, so that I know what to do next time when I land in a situation like this again?” 
I didn’t know what he did wrong either. He was just being himself, I guess. 
I say, “You didn’t do anything. I just don’t think talking to you is doing any good to me. It shouldn’t interfere this strongly with my daily life, but it is.”
He said he understands, and that we should part ways, if that’s what’s best for me. 
I say, “I wonder why I’m having a harder time saying goodbye than you are”
A says, “Believe me, it’s very hard for me too” 
Behind my screen, I started crying? How did I get so attached to somebody I barely knew? I couldn’t understand what was going on with me. 
I wanted to hold onto him for dear life. From the moment A said he liked me, my mind took off to fantasyland. I got so excited about this mutual liking, that my mind overlooked the realism of this whole situation. I was so attached to the idea of someone liking me and the embellishments of romantic love, that I completely malfunctioned when confronted with reality, when my expectations of a perfect love weren’t met. 
Because I didn’t want to let go of that concept of love, I didn’t want to let go of A. Who knows when the next person will like me? It took me 19 years to get my first one? Was my logic lmfao. fuck. 
I said, “Maybe I just need some time to sort myself out. We’ll talk again someday.” I could not let him go, not because I even liked him all that much, but because of the sheer reason that he said he liked me. 
A said, “Do whatever you need to do to make yourself happy. If there’s anything I can do, please tell me. But please don’t cry.”
In this last conversation before the ‘break’, A was oddly enough very sweet to me, which felt horrible. This is the most vulnerable, genuine side I had ever seen of A in the 5 months of knowing him. I wanted to continue talking, but I already said we should stop talking so I was too ashamed to go back on my words GJOIDSJGOSIGJS
We wished each other the best of luck and said our goodbyes.
I said, “Talk to you later, one day”
“I know. Goodbye.” A said, thinking this was our last conversation, because he didn’t think I would actually hit him up a month later. Lol.
CHAPTER 2: ON HOLD
I still have never been in a relationship, but what I felt the next morning, is what I imagine what half of a break up must feel like. I felt empty and wanted to text him almost immediately. 
Yes, ya girl listened to sad songs and she was bawling her eyes out. Jeez. Give me a break. 
Lunchtime came around. I looked out the window as it was snowing. I wanted to take a picture and show him, since it doesn’t snow in Miami, fuck please what the fuck. BUT i couldn’t do any of that because I had already said we’re taking a break, wow. 
I start tearing up and my mom looks worried. 
“Are you okay?” 
“Yeah.” The feeling of eating and crying at the same time is horrible. My mom doesn’t ask me anything further and I just keep sulking for the rest of the day. For the rest of the freaking month. 
Holding back the urge to talk to him that day was extremely difficult, but imagine how ridiculous I would have looked if sis gave up in less than a day, so that held me back LMAO. 
On some days A wasn’t even on my mind and I was living just fine. 
On some nights A was all I could think about. 
I kept thinking about when I should contact him. After my exams? That’s too long. That’s like 2 to 3 months, he’s over me by then! But if I talk to him before my exams, how will that affect my studies? The struggle was real. 
 I wanted this break to calm my feelings and for me to get back on my feet. That didn’t happen. I was still obsessed with the idea of what it must be like to be with someone. And for some odd fucking reason I thought I could make that a reality with A LMAOOOOOOO STOP
I thought, the longer I wait, the bigger the chance he’d no longer be interested in me. That thought was absolutely terrifying to me. I had to talk to him by the end of the month, or else I could not salvage This True Love.
CHAPTER 3: KIKI
We’re nearing the end guys, stay with me. It’s gonna be very anticlimactic, so stay tuned! 
So after a month of anguish and yearning I send him a text. I couldn’t even wait until I got home. I did it while i was on the bus with 4G, um calm down binch???
We start talking again, but for some reason things just felt different to me. I expected things to be different. I wanted to go back to the euphoric point of when we told each other we liked each other or back to him comforting me in our ‘last moments’ before I momentarily cut him off. 
The next day, and the day after, and the day after that, I kept waiting for A to text me first, but he never did. I had to text him first for 4 consecutive days. Is this a bad sign? Did he not like me anymore? He hadn’t even asked if he could call me, which I didn’t really want to do anyway, but at least it meant that he liked me, right? He’d always text back, though. And our conversations were moderately fun. So I couldn’t understand what was going on. I had to know what was going on in his mind. Does he still like me the way he used to?
These 3 months I was constantly very vulnerable, emotionally unstable and very very insecure, once again finding it hard to grasp what I was going through mentally. For tackling these problems, I always went for the approach of wearing my heart on my sleeve. Now, I really don’t know if this was the best tactic, but at least I got everything off my chest and didn’t hold anything in.
“Why haven’t you been texting me first?” 
“Honest to god, I’m just really busy lately. If you want to talk, just talk to me. If you’re bothered with anything, don’t deal with it by yourself. I’m here to listen.” A told me he was preparing for his finals. I once again made a clown of myself. 
But how busy was he really? He still liked his dumbass memes on instagram, continued following Asian girls, why couldn’t he make time for me? Didn’t he like me?  
It dawned on me that I wasn’t on his priority list. And it made sense. Seniors are pretty busy and need to worry about applying for college. Which senior in their right mind would be looking for love? Who was I in his world? Just a part of his collection of Asian girlfriends? Sure that’s kind of hurtful, but can we still make ♥~*LOVE*~♥ happen though? My delusional self thought, Yes!!!!!
As time progressed, I got more and more insecure and kept confronting him with my own problems, and A must’ve gotten more and more sick of my bullshit.
At times he’d text me first, but not make the effort to keep the conversation going at all. I always had to bring up something interesting to keep talking or else the convo would’ve just ended with him giving a one word reply like “lmao” 
He asked to call 2 more times, but I said no, feeling slightly traumatized from what the last call did to me lol. Also, I knew if I heard his voice again, that everything would affect me even more. So we never called.
“Can I call you?”
“Why? Do you miss my voice that much?” LMAOOO BYE WHO DO I THINK I AMMMMJSOIGJSOG
“No, I just need my hands to be free, I’m making homework, so calling seemed easier.”
I realized him wanting to call me, wasn’t necessarily because he liked me, it was mostly out of practicality, so that he could multitask and do something else.
 A was sometimes just flat out rude, and he honestly doesn’t care. He was a self-proclaimed Asshole (is that something to be proud of?) and said that he most of the time doesn’t care if he hurts people’s feelings. That’s scary. Why wouldn’t you care about being a good person? Lawful Evil.
Here are some other red flags that still didn’t stop me from backing away:
Racial slurs are a joke to him 
He really enjoys WWII jokes 
Is heavily annoyed by pride month
When I showed him pictures of my dog, he didn’t seem to care at all
He dislikes Ariana Grande 
Despite all these things, I was still attached to A. For what? He didn’t even like me romantically anymore at this point. What kind of rose goggles was I wearing? LOL. At this point i just wanted his attention.
I kept holding onto something that was never even there to begin with. The possibility of  ♥~*LOVE*~♥ ever happening. I failed to realize that everything was doomed from the beginning. I had been alone all my life and the moment I thought somebody could change that I Snapped Lmao. 
1. The distance. For real, who’s actually going to pay that much money to see someone you barely know and barely care for? 
2. A was never really out there looking for anything serious. He’s a high school senior for god’s sake.
3. My unrealistic fantasies of what should have been happening to achieve   ♥~*LOVE*~♥  constantly clashed with my reality. I was constantly busy fantasizing of what could have been that I failed to see things for what they were. I continuously tried to mold the situation into something it wasn’t.
If you think about it for more than 10 seconds and imagine a situation where we would actually meet, I would probably find the nearest cliff to jump off of. Exactly how much embarrassing cringy shit have I said to this man? 
In probably our last meaningful conversation I asked him what he thinks of me, after “knowing” me for around 4 months.
A says, “I think you’re cool, you just need a confidence booster”
He once again, called himself an Asshole and made the point that I actually have a great personality and am really funny and that I just need to realize it. At least he’s aware. I applaud him. He told me things I already knew, but it was still very thought provoking to think about my confidence because it is the root of many of my problems.
Our last conversations felt like I was beating a dead horse. I don’t think any of us care enough anymore. Our situation was dead from the beginning and that’s fine. I’m glad this story has finally come to an end. I wish A would realize being a good person is actually rewarding, but it’s his own choice to change his life for the better. I wish him the best, and I wish myself the best of luck too. He just graduated high school and might just enter a transitional phase like I did lol. Does everyone go through a rebirth in their first year of uni? Maybe it’s just me. Finally this can die. My soul feels a lot lighter. Like in Shugo Chara, how the X-egg becomes a normal egg again and says “Thank You”, that is literally how I feel right now. Wow.  
CHEESY EPILOGUE
This whole thing started because I felt extremely lonely and bored lol.
And that loneliness was amplified with my insecurities + inexperience of never having had any romance in my life? I always tend to blame myself, when really, inherently, there is nothing wrong with me. Things like a first kiss, a first lover or a first date all come at a different time for everyone. I just need to stop being impatient and glorifying my own concept of what  ♥~*LOVE*~♥  is and just enjoy my life for what it is as time flows. 
The thing about my self-esteem is, I am definitely aware of what a great person I am, but I still find it hard to see my worth? Like, I can see it, but I can’t grasp it? I think I tend to magnify and pick at my flaws so strongly that I can no longer believe in my own capabilites... It’s important to be kind to others but we forget that we should also be nice to ourselves.
If I want to make friends and get to know people, I will, and the right people will like me for who I am. 
I must realize that I am more than what I hate about myself and that I am in fact good enough. Validation from the outside world can be nice but it’s still Me who really needs to believe it. (dattebayo)
Human beings are so complicated and we need to take all the time we need to understand ourselves and understand why we feel the way we feel, why we think what we think.
If you have been reading up to this point, I would like to thank you for taking your time to read about my experience. Hopefully you learned something too! 
I love you :)
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musicmoney · 7 years
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"I'm running for CEO of America. It's sounds crazy but you'll see" @ChrisdaCEO and #musicmoney link up!
From Cleveland, Ohio Aka Killland
 I sound like a boss with no morals I don't know who I sound like. People say I remind them of 2 Chainz, I love 2 Chainz music so I guess that's who I sound like. I don't make fast food music tho. Me and the DreaM TeaM only releases high quality music. Our mixtapes sound like classic albums. Me personally; I sound like however the beat sound. Calm beat? Calm ChrisdaCEO. Banger beat? Savage mode enabled. So you can say I'm the CEO of Music basically.
 Well my project "The Boss With No Morals" dropped July 7 everywhere. I recorded Everything in two months. But it's basically talking about what goes on in my head on the daily bases. I been threw alot, 6 high schools, foster care, jail, dad died, family turned they back on me, and my mom is a bitch. So I just put it in the music. You'll hear it.
 My mentor Greg Jones inspires me. He is who I want to be when I get older. He's a great role model and leader for our black youth today
  I see myself as the king of hip-hop in 5 years. Featuring on everyone's song. My record label signs big artists and I'm running for CEO of America. It's sounds crazy but you'll see. I also want to make video games and movies. Im a great actor so I be great in movie rolls, and I could be a model too.
 You can find me mostly on mixtape apps and SoundCloud. But I'll just follow my Instagram and Twitter to get a update on what I'm doing.
  Well I'm just a tall blind dude that plays too many video games and that records music in his bedroom. I sleep with one sock on and one sock off. I don't know why, but it's a good balance. I don't listen to music like I use to because I listen to myself alot. But I usually like whatever song is trending on YouTube. Im a big Wiz Khalifa fan. Like i really really really fuck with Wiz. I was 11 with a little mp3 player I stole from my teachers desk, and I use to go the library and listen and Download every Wiz mixtape. I know the whole Taylor A. Mixtape by heart. My favorite songs by him is On my level and The Code. I know Wiz don't like Kanye but that's my second favorite rapper and producer. Talking about how much Kanye influenced me will take all day. But my favorite song by him is Lost In The World. Wow. I love that song. I don't work nomore, Foster Care is playing me to go to college so I'm chilling. I'm also 19 with my own apartment and son. His name is Christain. Ive been dreaming about being a rapper since I was 5 years old. And ever since my long time friend and Producer Jarrell (aka J.E da Werido) stole a Mac book from this dude while he was in the army I been recording​.
  Artist: ChrisdaCEO
Hometown: Cleveland,Ohio
Project: "The Boss With No Morals"
Mixtape Link: http://spnr.la/FzWT6ggJ
Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/ChrisdaCEO
 https://www.twitter.com/ChrisdaCEO
 https://www.soundcloud.com/ChrisdaCEO
 I'm the CEO of D.T.E (DReaM TeaM Entertainment) and the Co-founder of D.B.G. Records.
http://www.musicmoneypr.com/music-promotion/4588010352
http://www.musicmoneypr.com/hip-hop-promotion/4593676748
http://www.musicmoneypr.com/dj-drops/4588010348
http://bestcreativeagency.com
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sirenivory · 7 years
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7 14 22 27 28 32 33 34 35 36 44 45 49 50 52 53 57 58 65 68 69 72 74 77 80 81 82 86 87 88 91 93 94 98 99 100 101 103 105 107 109 110 112 115 116 117 122 123 126 127 128 130 132 139 142 150 155 156 159 160 162 163 166 171 173 174 179 181 186 187 188 189 191 192 193 198 199 200 202 205 206 207 209 211 213 215 216
7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write?Neil Gaiman without a doubt, Richard A. Knaack is another.
14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them?Yeah.
22: A good quality of mine?I care a ton.
27: Am I in a relationship?No
28: Something I miss?Disneyland? idk
32: Someone I love?Ivan
33: Someone I trust?See previous
34: Someone I always think about?Farrah
35: Am I excited about anything?Not really
36: My current obsession?idk
44: Last book I read?I don’t remember.
45: Last film I watched?again don’t remember
49: Superpower I wish I could have?Regeneration, so I stop being this fucking weak and unhealthy.
50: How do I destress?Music.
52: When do I feel most at peace?When it’s mostly quiet and it’s clear out.
53: What makes me smile?Puppies/baby animals
57: Favourite drink?Pepsi... (or a strawberry martini cough)
58: When did I last send a handwritten letter to somebody?My ‘big bro’ Kevin (not related btw) who went off into basic for the Army for a while - pretty much acted as my big brother playing WoW considering I played with him back in Burning Crusade aka when I was 12. Last I saw from him he got engaged.
65: What fictional universe would I like to be a part of?Honestly. I have no idea.
68: Who are my best friends?@zenjestrr
69: What do I admire most about others?Their ability to strive forward and come up with so many ideas.
72: If I won the lottery, what would I do?Save about 30% for myself, the rest go towards friends and family and plausible charities that actually do what they say they do.
74: Favourite place on the planet?idk
77: What is my current desktop picture?Metroid related
80: Can I drive?Nope. I really don’t want to, either.
81: Story behind my last kiss?He pressured me.
82: Earphones or headphones?Headphones tbh
86: Who is my hero?idk
87: Favourite comic book character?Black Panther
88: What makes me really angry?Having to repeat myself. Which sucks cause I know I mumble a lot.
91: What is one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be?Needing more than a GED to be able to teach at the least (it’s true here in Colorado)
94: What was the last thing I bought?I just bought my brother a birthday present two days ago. Should be here soonish.
98: 3 things I love?AnimalsVideo GamesObsessing about either.
99: 3 things I hate?Smoking (I will always say this)Dark chocolateMigraines
100: Do I have more girl friends or boy friends?Boys.
101: Who do I get on with better, girls or boys?Boys, girls seem to ignore me a little more but eh.
103: Sexual orientation?Straight
105: Last person I texted?Jesse, who’s my current WoW buddy. Telling him to get better soon, he’s running a crazy high fever he’s missed work for 3 days.
107: Guilty pleasure?
109: A photo of myself.
110: Do I like selfies?Yeah. I just don’t take em often.
111: Favourite game app?I don’t use them much anymore. My phone can’t hold a lot =(
112: My relationship with my parents?*shrugs* I’m ok with my mother.
115: Favourite number?15
116: Can I juggle?No
117: Am I religious?No, but I respect those that practice such, as long as it does not bring harm... which I’m pretty sure is most.
122: Can I curl my tongue?Yes
123: Can I wiggle my ears?No but I can wiggle my nose.
126: My current project?Working on Eche’ro right now. It’s a mount in WoW, gotta farm shit for about 2ish hours. Not too bad honestly.
127: Am I a bad loser?Sometimes but I’m learning to chill more.
128: Do I admit when I wrong?Yes
130: Favourite piece of advice?Keep moving forward.
132: Hogwarts house / Divergent faction / Hunger Games district?Ravenclaw / Never read / idc
139: If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do?If there is any ID in it, return to owner. Otherwise, probably... wait for half an hour see if anyone is looking for it... then probably mine if none have claimed.
142: Am I ticklish?Only on the bottom of my feet, and if you dare be prepared for a reflex of “I might kick you in the face”.
150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far?Meeting some people
155: Who is the most intelligent person I know?Probably Ivan
156: My most embarrassing memory?HAH NO you’re not getting that out of me.
159: Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty?Brains
160: What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe?Black, blue is probably a close second.
162: What do I hate most about myself?Everything
163: What do I love most about myself?Being super aware.
166: Favourite animal?Wolf
171: Do I hold grudges?It’s an unfortunate family trait. I try to make light of it though by making jokes about it, and sometimes helps me let go of it easier.
173: Have I learnt from my mistakes?I always try to. If I don’t, I wish to be educated so I could do better in the future. Not talked down on, though, I cannot handle that.
174: Best gift I’ve ever received?I almost cried when I got my sona hoodie but... that feeling kinda went away when I found out the guy kinda doesn’t give two shits about me.
179: If I were immortal, what would I do?I actually have a WoW OC who is immortal and no it’s not SabHonestly, I would just try to help any way I could, study all languages, write down any forgotten languages that people have forgotten in the past, probably just become the owl from AtLA honestly. Have a giant library of all knowledge. And when I’m not doing that probably going around and helping those recover from an ill lived life, do what I can.
181: If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do?Robbing from the rich who do not deserve to be rich.
186: What is my greatest failure?hah
187: What is my greatest achievement?Raising Farrah probably.
188: Love or money?Love
189: Love or career?Love
191: What makes me the happiest?Puppies
192: What is “home” to me?In the arms of someone I love.
193: What motivates me?Just seeing what’s next.
198: Zombies or vampires?Zombies. Easier to kill.
199: Live in the city or suburbs?Suburbs
200: Dragons or wizards?Dragons
202: How do I define love?Way too heavy a question I am not up for answering at this moment. Try to remind me later.
205: Do I like my handwriting?No
206: Sweet or savoury?Sweet
207: Worst job I’ve had?Not having one
209: Item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without?*shrugs* I’m not particularly attached to any article of clothing that you wouldn’t see me without. I mean... my glasses? But that’s just cause I’m blind as shit.
211: How do I handle anger?Not well. In process of working on.
213: Do I use sarcasm a lot?Without a doubt.
215: What is the weirdest talent I have?High pitched whistles?
216: Favourite fictional character?Zack Fair
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