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#would not wanna be John Walker after this
notafunkiller · 5 months
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Bucky Barnes is the best super soldier
How it was subtly emphasized in The Falcon and The Winter Soldier:
He always holds back
With the Flag Smashers and even with John Walker. We could see the difference in the last 3 episodes. Sebastian Stan did an incredible job making it clear in a subtle way.
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I want to mention that famous "Stay there" scene, and how it was visible Bucky was not punching as hard as he can in the fight with John.)
This is the thing about Bucky, he isn't after the kill, he just does his part. He doesn't try to show off his skills or that he is a good guy. He doesn't try to play the victim role, either. In the scene where Zemo fake-activates the Winter Soldier in Madripoor, he just makes a point. He's obviously not even trying hard.
If he wanted those in the club dead, they would be. But his self control was wow. Sebastian acted so well, his exes said everything.
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*And to be honest, even when he was TWS, he could have killed everyone, but he didn't. He could have killed all of the Avengers in Civil War is they were his mission, but they weren't. This is how Natasha survived when she met him, too. It depended on what kind of mission he had (if he wasn't allowed to be seen, then the witnesses would die too, but otherwise? He didn't bother).
2. His skills
People tend to forget how smart and good at making strategies Bucky is. He's been fighting (even though he hates fighting and never wanted to be in the army) for years before he was even captured by Hydra. And this is the reason why government still want him, after all. They can use his strategies as a leader (*cough* Thunderbolts *cough*).
In the last episodes of TFATWS, we could see how he outsmarted everyone. Karli was so terrified of him.
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3. Karli Morgenthau
And talking about Karli, the phone call was interesting:
She asked him if he's not tired of fighting for the wrong side, and then told him she's fighting for something bigger than herself.
"And with all the bodies you've collected, have you ever been able to say the same?"
The first thing I wanna point out is how everyone talks about the deaths Bucky caused when he was controlled by Hydra, but everyone ignores the fact that all the Avengers killed far more, but since we consider them the good side, we just don't care.
Clint, Tony, Steve, Wanda etc. They all cause(d) far more deaths than "two dozen" (known assassinations - to quote Natasha), and neither was controlled. The double standards are something else, especially for Clint. (One of the reasons why Tony was on the other side in CW was because of his guilt, after all.)
The second point is how Bucky's answer says a lot more than we might realize at first:
"You don't think I ever fought for something bigger than myself? That's all I ever tried to do, and I failed twice."
Even as TWS, Bucky had to be convinced he is on the right side, that what they do is to save the world, to give "the world the freedom it deserves".
Even brainwashed and put to sleep all the time, he had to be lied to. Bucky as TWS was a victim too. He is not a victim only because he didn't have memories or control, but also because they lied to him and used him as a toy. That milk scene is so loud. (And I am gonna talk about it in a different post). He had no rights, no choices. He was used to being tortured.
[And I wish they explored it more. We deserved and deserve a WS film - maybe with him in Romania getting back his memories, writing in his journal etc.]
"You think your cause justifies all this death, but in the end, the nightmares won't go away. You're gonna remember all the ones you killed. Trust me. Don't do this. Don't go down this path."
Despite being on opposite sides, Bucky still said this to Karli, trying to help her, to make her see the big picture, sharing how he felt and feels.
He is on "the right side". He is a hero, and Bucky being thanked by that man for saving everyone's life was touching.
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4. Baron Zemo
You can see how smart, strong, and rational Bucky is when he decides to break Zemo out of jail (his plan was amazing too), risking so much (his relationship with Wakanda people and his own freedom) to get his help for the mess. He puts the cause above his own (huge) trauma. And this makes that moment in Madripoor even more disgusting (he is treated as an object, as a toy):
Zemo: Tell us what you know about the super-soldier serum. And I give you him, along with the code words to control him, of course. He will do anything you want.
The way he keeps his composure, reacts and manages the situation... absolutely incredible!
This conversation also says a lot:
Zemo: The desire to become a superhuman cannot be separated from supremacist ideals. Anyone with that serum is inherently on that path.
Bucky: Maybe you're wrong, Zemo. The serum never corrupted Steve.
Zemo: Touché. But there has never been another Steve Rogers, has there?
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Bucky positions himself below Steve, who's considered a good hero, a good person... like no other. But Steve never had to go through what Bucky did: from being kidnapped like that, to being tested on, to falling off the train, to being tortured, and used, and brainwashed for decades, and put to sleep when he was not needed and having n "keepers".
Also, interesting how all Steve wanted was to fight (for a good cause, but still)... and fighting still means violence, meanwhile Bucky never wanted to fight, not even before becoming TWS, in the army (and yet he is still great at fighting. And he is deadly, even when he holds back.). All he wanted was peace.
Despite not getting the "perfect serum", despite being brainwashed, put to sleep, and forced to fight for decades, he is still himself. He never gave in to the dark side for real. He fought in his own way. The first thing he did when he woke up was to choke the Hydra guy with a whole new arm!
Bucky is so underrated: from his intelligence and fighting skills, to how human he is. Being flawed, keeping his sassiness and charm from the 40s, but getting more mature and carrying his past on his shoulders... he's so relatable and real. And every day, he shows Zemo he is wrong.
The show he makes in his final scene with Zemo is absolutely fantastic. He doesn't just prove the point he isn't defined by the serum and Hydra (AND not even by Steve, thanks to Sam. His speech made him realize the important thing about himself: that he decides who he is, not others - even those who know him before becoming TWS- "And this might be a surprise, but it doesn't matter what Steve thought. You gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are." parallel to "Steve believed in you. He trusted you. He gave you that shield for a reason. That shield, that is… that is everything he stood for. That is his legacy. He gave you that shield, and you threw it away like it was nothing. [...] So maybe he was wrong about you. And if he was wrong about you, then he was wrong about me."), but also that he is superior.
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When Zemo tells him that he decided to let him alive (probably so he can kill Karli) and basically calls him a killing machine: "programmed to kill", Bucky plays the role, lets Zemo talk him into killing Karli, and then Bucky watches him waiting for his own death.
[Also, Bucky's line: Imagine my relief is hilarious.]
The acting was incredible: the shock on Zemo's face and the amusement and somehow relief on Bucky's after he pulls the trigger and lets the bullets fall... He proved him he's THE standard of the super soldier. Because despite everything he went through, he is the best.
Zemo telling him to cross his name off felt like a fresh start (+ telling Nakajima the truth).
5. John Walker
John, on the other hand, is lucky Bucky is an understanding person. He gets what is like... the pressure, the environment, the loss, and even tries to help.
Bucky: Don't go down that road. Believe me, it doesn't end well.
John: I'm not like you!
Of course he is not like Bucky, because Bucky has control. He is not killing to get revenge in a cynical way.
"That serum doesn't exactly have a great track record."
John kept judging Bucky every time they spoke, somehow placing himself above this "broken" man.
"This is all really easy for you, isn't it? All that serum runnin' through your veins. Barnes, your partner needs backup in there. Do you really want his blood on your hands?"
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This is so wrong on every single level, especially because Bucky didn't choose to take the serum, and he always had his friends' back. He's loyal and ready to sacrifice himself.
The "funny" part about this is John ending up taking the last super soldier serum vial. All the judgement, the disgust, the patronizing tone, just to do that. Plus, of course, to kill someone with the shield.
(John proves Zemo's point about super soldiers, and Bucky does the opposite.)
And what is it easy for Bucky anyway?
He's under government conditions (so CACW coded), he has a vibranium arm that I bet the government would try to take after he dies (HOPEFULLY WHEN HE'S 200 YEARS OLD IN HIS BED, as Sebastian wants too) if he isn't in Wakanda, he is haunted by nightmares (which also can mean he is still Hydra's TWS in another universe as we found out from Strange), and he has to learn how to live for real. He's smart, charismatic, has values and principles, and he's incredible.
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We need to see his version of TWS going after everyone Hydra helped. TWS is him, a part of him, and doing that on his terms, having control over it would help him heal.
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cultofdixon · 22 days
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A little pain with your pleasure
Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • Adrenaline is a crazy natural drug and you’re driving them crazy with how calm you are • SFW/Small Angst • TW: Stab wounds
Requested by: Anon
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“What you got there?”
Glenn’s voice not only startled the poor guy but even cut through Daryl’s thoughts that he forgot for a split second what he had in his hand.
“A Walkman. Found one on a past run”
“Oh, neat. Did you find some cassettes for it? I think there’s like a box of them in the warden’s office but those could also be confessional tapes and I don’t think I wanna know about why a prisoner ended up in prison”
“Me neither. It’s for Y/N. I found some cassettes with it when I found it. Queen, Elton John,…I think there was a Micheal Jackson one. I don’t know.” Daryl scratches the side of his face as he thought about another cassette before shrugging it off. “It was broken when I found it and Sasha helped me fix it for her.”
“Well ain’t that awful sweet of you” Glenn smirks bringing himself to sit across from him on the picnic table. Daryl instantly glaring at the man knowing where he could be going. “I wanna be there when you give it to her. I know she’ll be super excited getting that from you”
“The fuck you mean by that?” Daryl snapped slightly as Glenn shrugged with a smirk. “Speaking of Y/N. Have you seen her?”
“I was actually gonna ask you the same thing. She said if she decided on a 3-Day run that she would help me with the south fence repair when she came back” Glenn sighs running his hand through his hair. “Think she’s out for a week?”
“Mm. Better not. She promised me she’d help with the snares”
“Oh she promised you but didn’t promise me? Obviously she likes a certain someone more than me” He really didn’t catch the hint that Daryl hated the teasing and the glare made him realize he should stop before he’s tossed into a walker. “Okay fine. Mind helping me with the fence and I’ll help you with the snares”
Daryl sighs, nodding picking up the Walkman and going to put it away before helping Glenn with the fence.
After a while, the fence was done, and the two split into the nearby woods to check the snares at a faster pace compared to doing it together. Even if Daryl would’ve spent hours in the woods if it meant being with Y/N.
Daryl made his way toward the snares closer to the front gates, liking to go from the furthest to the closest snares so he could head right in when he’s done. But he was also going to check Glenn’s work on setting up the traps back up. He suddenly halted when he heard footsteps, causing him to ready his crossbow for a walker but relaxed when the bloodied dirty figure came into view.
“Jesus Christ”
“What?” Y/N laughs nervously. “Is there something on my face?”
“Yeah blood and dirt” Daryl scoffs bringing himself close, resting his hand on her cheek brushing off some of the dirt from her cheek. “The fuck happen on your run?”
“Oh that’s a great story so—-“
“Y/N!” Glenn shouted her name while also making it clear of his presence coming up behind Daryl and eventually to his side. “What took you so long getting back?!”
“Well it’s uh a short story—-“
“Glenn I just asked them about the run. Did yea finish the snares on your side?”
“Yeah I did, now Y/N?”
“Yeah…how was the run?”
“Well I got stabbed in the back” Her expression tensed watching the two start their lines of questioning. But every chance she tried to correct she kept getting cut off.
“What do you mean you got stabbed in the back?”
“Let me start with how it hap—“
“Where is this guy? I thought you went on the run alone”
“I did go alone Im trying—-“
“This guy is dead meat if he tries to come after yea. Plenty of fighters here” Daryl stated as Glenn nods in agreement.
“Who would turn on you? Maybe it was—-“
“SHUT UP!” Y/N shouted, resulting in a wince that definitely confused the two. But her face returned to the discomfort it had before running into Daryl. “I got literally stabbed in the damn back” she turned to show the two the knife that was embedded deep in her shoulder.
No more words were said. All Daryl did was smack Glenn forcing him in the direction of the gates to get them opened. Y/N frowns watching him bring himself to her back to feel around the wound before, without warning, rip her flannel open and forced her to take it off.
“You owe me!”
“Just wait til we get inside. Hershel is gonna want to see it and he’s gonna have to cut your shirt anyway”
“Doesn’t mean you had to rip my favorite flannel!” Y/N shouted as Daryl watched her back tense and the knife shift.
“Stop shouting and let’s get yea inside” Daryl scoffs taking her pack from her and directing her back to the prison.
While Hershel stitched her up, Y/N was telling them the story of how it happened. How this stranger that passed the 3 questions decided to just turn on her and try to kill her for her stuff. It wasn’t a pretty scene and given how Y/N felt about killing people, she was only late in her return because she didn’t want to come back feeling the way that she did. That part she didn’t tell them. She just fibbed by saying she lost the car she had. After being patched up, Y/N made her way back to her cell in need of clean clothes and a shirt that isn’t in pieces.
“Hey”
Y/N stopped right before her cell to acknowledge Daryl. “Hey”
“Your back feelin’ any better?”
“Having stitches suck” She laughs it off, no longer wincing from her back. “Maybe next time I’ll bring you on the run”
“I’ll keep yea safe” Daryl murmurs, leaning against the metal doors as Y/N brought herself close leaning with him.
“Next time the knife will be in your back” She jokes receiving a breathy chuckle in response. “You know I’m kidding…I’ll always have your back out there Dar” she whispers as she brought her lips to his cheek keeping her hand planted on his chest. “Thanks for worrying about me”
Before she pulled away too far, Daryl gently grabbed her waist pulling her into him. He admired her features for a moment then planted his lips firmly onto hers. Y/N was taken back but relaxed almost instantly, bringing her arms around his neck keeping him close.
When they parted, Daryl pulled away a little while taking the torn shirt from her hands.
“I’ve got a surprise for yea. But I also have a shirt…we just. Need to go to my cell for both”
Y/N couldn’t contain her smile as she took his free hand. “Lead the way Dixon”
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bellarkeselection · 8 months
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Giving Second Chances
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Gifs above don't belong to me they belong to their rightful owner
Wattpad request from Silverose365 Reader is a trouble teen the state is having trouble with so after multiple failed foster families the state calls John. The reader accidentally messed up on a job and gets called out until Rip makes a different choice than her previous foster family's.
John and Rip followed Sheriff Haskell out into one of the barns on the ranch. The three stops in the entrance seeing someone peaking their head over one of the hay bails. John slowly walked forward trying to not scare the girl off that looked to be a young teenager reminding him of meeting young Rip. “Hey there, kid. I ain’t gonna hurt you. Do you wanna come talk with us?”
“Where’s the girl from?” Rip crossed his arms looking at Sheriff Haskell.
He responded to John’s right hand. “She’s been bounced from foster home to another. She’s got a bad streak of breaking the law. I got a call saying the foster system was sending her to him until she bolted. Thankfully she ended up where they we’re taking her. Bringing her to John.”
Lifting my gaze up to the older cowboy guy wearing a tan cowboy hat I watched him bend down to her level. “Are you going to send me back to foster care….I don’t do good in that place. They all say I’m too old and reckless.” I had been moved around where I just started running away every time they sent me back in the system.
“I ain’t sending ya back. My name is John Dutton, what’s your name darlin’?” The rancher asked me offering his hand and I allowed him to pull me to stand up with him seeing another guy by the sheriff that was dressed in black with dark hair and hard eyes staring at me.
I nervously responded back to him. “Y/n. My name is Y/n, sir…what are doing now?”
“You come work for me.” John said looking at the man calling his name so I could put it with his face before he left us in the barn together. “Rip, you’re gonna teach her the way I did you.”
It had been a few months since that day and this is the longest that I have ever been in compared to my other foster homes. Placing a dark brown hat on my head I slide my brown boots on heading to the Yellowstone barn. Throwing a saddle on Lioyd’s horse I started tying it on until I heard one of the bunkhouse cowboys coming over to me. I believe Walker was his name. “It looks like a a cowgirl doesn’t know how a saddle goes on a horse.”
“What…what did I do?” I panicked beginning to twist the sterups and the back sinch backwards before I ran my hands through my hair.
Walker came over on his horse. “You put the saddle on backwards kid.”
“Crap, crap.” I mumbled under my breath quickly fixing it until John came over to me seeing that I avoided his gaze mumbling to myself unknown that he could hear me. “How could I put the entire saddle on backwards. That was stupid. I should have known that.”
It wasn’t the first the older rancher had seen her be hard on herself after she made some mistakes or didn’t be s quick as what the cowboys had told her to do something. And she would end up beating herself up over failing. John just hoped the girl saw that she was a good hand like he did. Because she was almost the same way when he found Rip years ago.
Walking through the barn I nodded to my boss Rip Wheeler who was walking with his horse when he noticed me. He climbed up on his horse addressing in my direction. “Y/n, got saddle Mr. Dutton’s horse. You’ll be riding it today with us to learn how to ride.”
Running inside the barn I took the reins of the boss’s horse tying the rope on the side of the wooden fence. Tossing the saddle over the horse I quickly tied it together. Putting me foot in the stirrups up Rip called my name. “Woah you think you’re forgetting something kiddo.” Shifting my gaze down to the ground I hadn’t noticed my hat fell off during the process.
“Ah shit…sorry sir.” Snatching it up I placed it on my head quick climbing back on the horse knowing he didn’t like wasting daylight and I always followed his instructions as fast as he said them.
Rip had me following behind him where I griped the reins in my hands bouncing with the horse watching the others herding the cattle in front of us. Normally he was leading the pack but not today. “Go herd up the ones on the side that get loose. You got that?” He kicked his horse to go when I nodded in understanding.
Running down the valley I followed after one cafe that got loose leading it back to the group. Staying close to the group another one got loose where I grabbed my rope throwing it over it head trying to lead it back but it just picked up sped. I screamed when it managed to pull me off my horse and I fell into the dirt. “No, no,…ah fuck!”
“Woah girl, are you alright?” Lioyd came over on his horse holding the reins of mine since it ran off towards him so he brought my horse back over to me.
Holding my right wrist I winced when I tried to bend it a little. “I think I just tweaked my wrist a bit….I thought I roped it the right way.”
“You roped it around the neck when it should have been around the waist so he wouldn’t run on ya. Climb back on your horse and help us finish this out.” Rip responded sternly beside his older friend.
Scurring to my feet I put one foot in the stirrup using my left hand to support most of my weight than my right. I should have done better, sir.” I apologize when Rip glared at me watching me ride off with Lioyd figuring that she meant well.
Once nightfall had come and everyone had their horses up for the night I didn’t come down to the bunkhouse for dinner since I was staying in the spare room of Rip and Beth’s house. Brushing my hair away from my face I had banded my wrist as best as I could and put everything I had in the duffel bag foster care had given to me. I just needed to wait until everyone went to bed to run rather then wait till morning already knowing what would happen. I had messed up way more than someone my age should. “I’m too old to get adopted….I will be better off just waiting until I’m eighteen. Only two more years left being someone else’s problem..”
“When I said don’t think you deserve this. I meant it literally but I didn’t you’d run from it.” Whipping my head around I gasped through tears seeing Rip was leaning in the doorway of my bedroom.
Croaking through tears I scooted up against the pillow and headband avoiding his gaze. “How did you know I’d be here?”
“Cause you didn’t come down for dinner and you ain’t missed a meal since the day you came here. You want to tell me what’s going on with you?” He presses on with his tone being both stern but went softer when he could hear me lightly crying in front of him.
Hugging my knees to my chest I buried my face into them sobbing even more when I struggle to get the words out already sensing what he was going to say next. “I’m a screw up here, Mr. Wheeler. I can’t do half the jobs you give me right…I don’t have great confidence even when I put in as much effort as I can. You see me exactly like everyone else does…a reckless teenager who won’t make it any longer in getting adopted. Cause I don’t follow directions good….so you’re done with me. You’re going to send me back tomorrow.”
“Where the hell did you get an idea like that, sweetheart?” He blurted out raising his voice in shock.
Peaking over my knees with my hair in my eyes I whispered back to him. “That’s what every family I have been with does. Why would you be any different to me?”
“Because you are the hardest working foster kid I have seen. You’ve got good manners and put in almost more effort than any of those bunkhouse boys do. And you ain’t any reckless than most teenagers are.” He came over and sat beside me on the bed removing his black hat when he went to take something out of his jacket. He unfolded a paper and handed it to me. “You are a darn good kid, Y/n. I am hoping to help you improve your confidence in time being here.”
Scanning my eyes over the paper in my small hands I couldn’t hardly believe it. “You want to adopt me..but I….thank you Rip.” Flinging my arms around his neck he was taken back not used to seeing me giving any kind of emotion like this.
“You’re welcome, darling. But promise you will still work as hard as you would if you weren’t gonna be my kid.” He hugged me briefly until he made me look in his eyes when he barely broke the embrace.
Nodding through happy tears I grinned up at the cowboy and lead hand of John Dutton. “Don’t worry I will..uh dad.”
Footsteps came down the hallway where we both glanced over over shoulders noticing that it was his wife. “You better call me mom and come eat this hamburger helper otherwise you’ll face the bear.”
“Yes ma’am.” I jumped off his lap rushing down the hallway making it to the kitchen table almost shoving food into my mouth overjoyed to actually have a place to call home.
Beth smiled at her husband when he stood by her in the hallway watching you. “She’s our kid now, baby.”
“She’s our second change at one and I gotta say she’s a pretty good one.” He responded looping his hand with hers giving her a gentle and the pair joined you at the dinner table.
Comments really appreciated ❤️
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writing-for-marvel · 8 months
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Blunt Force Trauma
[He’s Hazardous To My Health Series]
Paramedic!Bucky Barnes x Resident!Fem!Reader
< < PART 6 | Series Masterlist | PART 8 > >
Summary: While out for an unusual date night, Bucky and you witness an emergency.
Warnings: strictly 18+, car accident in which cars plough into storefronts (not involving reader or Bucky), multiple injuries including the drivers of the cars, someone trapped under a car having trouble breathing, description of lacerations, blood, no casualties, Bucky doubting himself and being insecure, discussion of money/disparity in wages, John Walker because he is always a warning
Word count: 3.4k
A/N: a BIG thank you to @skittle479 who gave me the inspiration for this part, I hope I did your idea justice darling ❤️ I apologise if this is a little rusty, I haven’t been writing consistently for a little while. Banners by @vase-of-lilies
Main Masterlist | Ask me anything! | Taglist | Library
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Bucky usually feels adept and influential sitting in the front seat of an ambulance, uniform proudly donned with the badge above his heart, perched higher than most of the traffic and capable of speeding past with sirens blaring whenever required.
But when John Walker sits beside him in the driver's seat, all he feels is agitation.
“You got any plans this weekend?” His annoyingly snarky voice fills the otherwise silent cabin as they pull up to a red light.
“Yeah, I’m taking my girlfriend to see the new Barbie movie on our mutual day off. And then probably just grab some food afterwards.” Bucky tries keeping his answer short and to the point, not wishing to divulge any more information than he needs to fundamentally answer the question without being rude, nor the giddy fluttering of his heart at referring to you as his girlfriend.
Not only does John Walker have a reputation of doing a rushed job in the field, with somehow thinking his skills are far superior to anyone else in the force, but he is also too nosy for his own good and incapable of keeping topics discussed in confidence to himself.
Steve’s learnt that lesson a few times.
“Dinner and a movie?” The inflection of John’s voice makes it seem like a query, but it’s muttered under his breath in what Bucky would classify as an almost disgusted tone.
“Is there something wrong with that?”
“Just that… she’s a doctor right?” The intonation of John’s question has doubt settling like led in the pit of Bucky’s stomach. That there is inherently something erroneous about a paramedic like him being with a doctor like you.
“Yes.” He confirms without questioning how John even knows that information given Bucky has never mentioned directly to him who you are or what you do for a living.
“Well don’t you think she’ll be after something a little more… upmarket than dinner and a movie? She’ll be friends with other doctors and surgeons at the hospital, they’ll be able to afford fancy dinners in the best part of town, seeing expensive shows, musicals, operas that cost a hell of a lot more than seeing a movie. Girls wanna be treated like princesses, not some commoner.”
Bucky’s heart drops. He specifically remembers you telling him about how for every date night Wanda and her new boyfriend, an anaesthesiologist, try out another lavishly expensive restaurant in the richest part of the city.
Was that you dropping hints that’s where you wanted him to take you for date night? Is he greatly disappointing you by instead taking you on such a generic date?
He hates to let anything John tells him get under his skin, but maybe he has a good point in this instance…
Of course you deserve far better than something so plain, but Bucky doesn’t have the savings to be able to take you to Michelin star restaurants that charge exorbitant prices for such small servings.
But if he doesn’t do this, at least once, will it be the reason you leave him? Will you want someone who earns more money than he does and can spoil you like the queen you are. He has no experience in this area, no real idea about what it takes to keep a partner happy in a relationship, and he knows John is, at least from the outside, happily married.
“I guess I could try something more upmarket.” Bucky suggests, though he’s not thoroughly convinced. You’ve never once expressed this is something you want, but perhaps it’s one of those parts of a relationship you want the other to take control of without needing to convey out loud. That directly telling him defeats the purpose all together.
He supposes that once you’ve spent a couple months with someone you need to shake things up to keep it interesting. Besides his bank account, there really is no downside to treating you both to an extravagant night out.
“I’m telling you man, you won’t regret it.”
They continue on with their shift in complete silence, Bucky’s mind churning with gears of insecurity and reservation.
He loves you and he sure as hell doesn’t want to fuck this up before he finally gains the courage to tell you.
* * *
“Can’t you give me a hint of where we’re going?”
Bucky’s fingers are interlocked with yours as you casually stroll down the sidewalk. You’re in a much fancier part of town than you’ve ever been to together before, and all of a sudden the informal pink dress you chose to wear to the earlier showing of Barbie Bucky treated you to makes you feel underdressed and completely out of place.
“We’re almost there, but I want it to be a surprise!” Bucky kisses the back of your intertwined hand, but you sense from the stiffness in his broad shoulders that even though he’s by your side, he doesn’t quite feel comfortable here either.
It’s only a short walk before Bucky stops outside a sleek restaurant where a group of smartly dressed patrons are queuing for entry. The waiters are dressed in black pants, white shirts with bow ties, and velvet vests - which gives away how high end the place is before you even have a chance to glance at the prices on the menus.
“I’m sorry I can’t take you anywhere fancier, I know Wanda and Vis keep trying all these upmarket restaurants…” His intentions for taking you to this part of town become as apparent as a lightbulb turning on in pitch darkness.
You place a delicate hand on his cheek to direct his uncertain gaze to your own. He looks like a nervous puppy.
“Bucky, it isn’t how expensive the restaurant is, it’s the fact that we’re together that’s important. You could take me to McDonalds and I wouldn’t care because I’d be with you.” You emphasise the end of your sentence, wiping your thumb across his cheek affectionately as his eyes brim with both hesitation and tenderness.
“Are you sure? Is this one of the things girls say but they actually mean the opposite?”
There have been a few fleeting occasions in your relationship with Bucky where you’ve seen glimpses of an inexperienced, naive and slightly insecure man who is navigating his first long term relationship. This is one of those moments and all you want is to eliminate all wavering doubt swirling in his mind.
It’s honestly endearing how sweet he is. You’re sure the only reason he is anxious is because he cares so much.
“Bucky, who’s gotten into your head?” You ask, shaking your own. You’re sure neither his best friend nor his mother is responsible for this line of thinking. “I promise you, I don’t need you to spend an entire paycheck on a single dinner at a restaurant where I can’t tell the difference between their cheapest and most expensive bottles of wine. And remember I’m only a couple years out of med school, I’m still drowning in years of student loans. All I care about is spending time with you.”
“You really mean that? You’re not just saying that to be nice cause I can’t afford pricey places like the anaesthesiologists and surgeons at the hospital can.” Your heart drops below your stomach. The concept that Bucky thinks you would ever want anyone other than him, simply because they happen to make more money, has the centre of your chest aching and makes the corners of your eyes prickle with tears.
“James, I care about you so much.” You declare, standing on your tiptoes and kissing him gently. “And that has absolutely nothing to do with the number that’s written on the bottom of your paycheck. One of the reasons I initially fell for you was seeing how you interacted with Sasha in the ER - no anaesthesiologist or surgeon I know has shown that kind of rapport with a patient.”
The smile tugging at the corners of his mouth abates the sting punching your chest.
“Really?”
“Mhmm. You’re one of a kind baby. Please don’t you ever doubt that you are the one for me.” You affirm as you thread your arms around his waist, placing a delicate kiss on the underside of his jaw.
There are tears in Bucky’s eyes he’s trying, and failing, to conceal. He looks in absolute disbelief, but as he gazes down at you, you could so easily be fooled into believing there is also so much love in his eyes.
“You are-, I am so-” You wait in anxious anticipation as he stutters.
Is this it?
Is Bucky finally about to say those three magical words you have been dying to hear for the past few weeks? That overwhelming feeling of pure love and adoration you feel for him and so desperately wish he reciprocates.
But before he is able to finish his sentence, you hear a vehicle’s tyres skidding along asphalt and two consecutive, deafening crashes sound close by, startling you.
You feel the ground shake violently and Bucky’s arms instinctively fly around your head and pull you into his chest in what you can only assume is an attempt to protect you from flying debris.
Before your mind can comprehend what on earth just happened and even look towards the origin of the booming impact, Bucky’s set off at a sprint, launching himself directly into action.
Once your brain is able to catch up to what your eyes are seeing - two cars, who potentially swerved to miss each other, ploughed through the shopfronts of two different restaurants only a couple stores away from where you are standing - you feel a surge of adrenaline in your chest and you begin a chase after Bucky, the screams of onlookers the soundtrack as you assess the scene.
You’ve seen some horrible and gory injuries during your time as an emergency medicine resident, but you’ve never seen it as raw and gruesome as you do right now in the field for the first time. It’s dedicated paramedics and EMTs like Bucky who do the initial triage, treatment and transport so that the patient arrives at the ER in the best possible condition. Seeing the carnage here, is confronting.
When you reach the incident, wails of pain fill the air, shattered glass covers the concrete ground and panic clenches tightly in your stomach. You first notice the driver of the car, dazed at the wheel, the airbag having cushioned his impact.
“You!” Calling out to a young man seemingly unharmed but immobilised with fear, you point to him and continue. “Call an ambulance.”
Seeing him fumble to pull his phone out of his pocket, your attention switches back to the inside of the car.
“Sir, try not to move. You’ve been in an accident.” You advise as your hands fly out to keep the man inside the car, groaning in pain as he turns to exit the vehicle. Reaching across him, careful not to move his position or cause him any pain, you put on the handbrake, shift the car into park and remove the keys from the ignition. “I’m a doctor, please try to keep your neck still.”
You do a quick assessment, his breathing is quick and shallow, but most of his impact seems to have been absorbed by the airbag. He has no signs of external bleeding, though you are concerned about internal bleeding as well as whiplash and other head and neck injuries.
“Can you help me?” You ask the man who you had instructed to call an ambulance. He rushes over despite his hesitation earlier. “I need you to keep this man’s head still, hand on either side of his face, just like this, making sure he doesn’t twist his neck. Keep him awake and talking, and scream out to me if he loses consciousness.”
In the chaos and mayhem of the scene you’ve lost sight of Bucky. He’s no doubt somewhere close by providing medical assistance, probably at the other restaurant doing exactly what you are here.
Inside the restaurant the air smells of engine fuel, powdered plaster and metallic blood. It’s encouraging to see those that are unharmed lend assistance to those injured and in pain.
Your eye catches a lady in a blue pantsuit lying on the ground, back against an overturned table, face contorting in excruciating pain as she grips both hands onto her trembling leg. Her suit has ripped open and you can see a long laceration through the muscle of her thigh weeping blood. A man beside her has a look of pure terror in his eye, wavering hands unsure of what to do in this situation.
“Wrap a tourniquet around her leg above the laceration, as tight as you can!” You direct as you notice a patient out of the corner of your eye, closer to the car in far greater need of your assistance, your heart squeezing in terror and the pool of blood growing slowly bigger each second before you get to him. When you see her friend's mouth open in question you continue. “Your jacket, the tablecloth, anything you can tie tightly!”
Rushing over to the underside of the front of the car, you observe a young man in a waiter's uniform trapped between the car, ground and the rubble of the shopfront displaced by the force of the car. Your hands fly to apply pressure on his chest wound, the source of the pool of blood surrounding him.
“Help me.” He wheezes, his eyes dilated, alarmed in a life threatening way you’re unfortunately used to seeing having worked in emergency medicine.
“I’m a doctor and I’m here to help. I know you're in pain but I have to put pressure to quell the bleeding. Try taking a deep breath for me.” He tries to do as you request but all he is capable of is panting in short, shallow breaths. The already terrified young man starts hyperventilating when he realises that he can’t use the full capacity of his lungs.
“What’s your name?” You ask, feigning a calm smile, trying to distract him in any way you can from his current predicament.
“Noah.” He can barely get the sound out, and you intuitively press down harder on his chest, feeling warm liquid trickle through your fingers.
“Noah, I am going to get you out of here. Just hang on for me.” You look around at the resources available to you, stomach churning knowing there’s nothing within reach which can assist.
Your gaze rises to those who still remain in the restaurant, but everyone else is tending to other victims, until a familiar face rushes into view.
“Bucky!” You call out and his eyes instantly meet yours, concern flooding out of those baby blues as he swivels to the sound of your voice. Having him beside you brings a buoyant relief to your chest, despite the gravity of the situation. “We need to get the car off him. He can’t breathe.”
As if Bucky hadn’t heard you, he rushes out of the restaurant. Fear replaces any alleviation you felt, believing you are now truly alone to do what you can for Noah.
You can’t lift a car by yourself.
Especially considering you’ve also got to keep pressure on his seeping wound to ensure he doesn’t bleed out in front of your eyes.
You don’t want to feel completely hopeless with this young man’s life literally in your hands. But unless you get some help soon, you know he doesn’t stand a chance.
“Paramedics will be here soon. Just hang on for me. Keep your eyes open. I’m sure you have someone in this world you love - your mom, dad, maybe a partner, your best friend. They’ll want you to fight so you can see them again. I know it hurts but you stay with me. You got someone in mind?” He nods in response to your question, a ghost of a smile appearing on his features and you know unequivocally this boy has experienced some form of love.
You think of Bucky, that if you were in a life threatening situation, he’d be the one you fought to stay alive for. To tell him you love him. To kiss him again, to hold him in your arms and revel in the solace he provides you.
Out of nowhere, as if your imagination of him conjured him next to you, Bucky appears by your side, sweat mixed with dirt on his forehead. He flashes you his signature smirk as he places a scissor car jack beneath the rocker panel near the front tyre.
He’s an absolute genius.
How did you ever doubt him?
Bucky carefully, yet quickly, starts turning the handle and jacking up the car. You immediately see the alleviation on Noah’s face as he takes a slightly deeper breath, but in turn you need to apply even more pressure to his wound, the force of the car on him having previously done part of your job for you.
“We need to move him, in case the jack slips.”
Bucky steadies Noah’s head as you both manoeuvre him away from under the car by placing a detached, flat tabletop beneath his back. As you perform the action, you hear sirens approaching.
Help has arrived.
“Bucky, I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” It’s Steve’s voice behind you, and you sigh in relief at seeing Bucky’s best friend on scene.
“He was trapped under the car, a penetrating wound to the abdomen, crushing injuries to the chest, and a potential pneumothorax. Breathing is shallow and his pulse is weak.” You list off, maintaining pressure on Noah’s abdomen as Bucky, Steve and the other paramedic you’ve seen around the ER shift him onto a yellow spinal board.
You refuse to move from your position as they load Noah into the ambulance, knowing releasing your pressure even for a moment could result in catastrophic blood loss.
Bucky hops into the back of the ambulance behind you, placing a small kiss to the back of your shoulder when Steve isn’t looking. You flash him a sweet smile that makes his stomach somersault and forget for a moment that he’s in an ambulance on his day off.
“Bucky, not in front of a patient.” You bashfully protest, but he just can’t help himself. His chest burst with pride at seeing how natural you were out in the field, saving lives even on your day off.
“Y’all probably saved my life, you can do whatever you want.” The young man mutters breathlessly with a smile.
Though Bucky wants to kiss your shoulder again, you made a point of not wanting him to do so in this scenario, so he refrains. He’ll just wait until you’re alone tonight to show his awe of you, and maybe find the courage to finally tell you he loves you as he was attempting to outside of the restaurant before the incident.
Once inside the hospital, the additional staff ensure Noah can be transferred safely, Steve having radioed ahead so they could prepare for the severity of his injuries. Wanda is one of the faces who assist with the handover, starting a blood transfusion right away before Noah is whisked away towards the surgical wing.
“They’ve got it from here guys, thanks to you Noah should be okay after a fairly routine surgery. Go enjoy the rest of your date.” Wanda comments as she not so subtly shoots you a quick wink. It’s only then, when Bucky realises both your jobs are finally complete, does he recognise he is indeed exhausted.
You turn to him and flash an equally tired smile, which, even in the face of how your night ended up, makes him feel like he’s floating on a cloud.
“Let’s go home, yeah? I’m beat and have to be back here in like 9 hours.” You chuckle and the sound is music to Bucky's ears. He swears that sound alone sustains him.
How did he get so lucky?
“Yeah… home.” Bucky murmurs, placing a kiss to your hairline which Wanda notices out of the corner of her eye with a smile.
You don’t clarify where home is. Your place? His place? You simply take his hand in your own and walk out of the hospital. But it doesn’t matter where you’re going, because to Bucky, home is wherever you are.
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Part 8 > >
Be added to the taglist here
He’s Hazardous To My Health [Paramedic!Bucky Barnes] Taglist: @lavenderpenumbra @crazyunsexycool @eralen @buckbuckyoongs @blackwidownat2814 @crayongirl-linz @ozwriterchick @desert-fern @misshale21 @chalesleclerc164 @rookthorne @janineb86 @emmabarnes @scarletbich @princezzjasmine @thebuckybarnesvault @doasyoudesireandlive @solitarioslilium @iamfandomwasted @tanyaspartak @pop-rocks-818 @dumdidditydumdoo @missvelvetsstuff @kayden666 @amiimar @katheryn1 @safew0rd @kentokaze @thewackywriter @lady-loki-barnes-djarin @badasswlthafatass @loveoldmenlikelana @00cmh @pointless-girl @honeyglee @nerdxacid @ashhsage @prettylittlepluviophile @otomefromtheheart @sjsmith56 @mandijo17 @lokidokieokie @oceansandblackhearts @rebeccapineapple @soorwellystan @excusememrbarnes @lofaewrites @snapcapquartet
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holylulusworld · 2 months
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Shy guy (4)
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Summary: You grew up together. Bucky is the one. He’s just too shy to make a move.
Pairing: Shy!Bucky Barnes x Fratgirl!Reader
Sidepairing (friendship): Steve Rogers x Reader
Warnings: a kiss between Steve & Bucky (not reader), mentions of sex (Steve), the reader being a good friend, teasing, banter, friendship
Inspired by this ask: Shy guy ask and @dawn-petrichor-world​ made me do it…The idea for the kiss came from her too. 😊
Shy guy (3) - Past
Shy guy masterlist
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Two years later, age of sixteen…
Your friendship with Bucky wasn’t the same after what happened with John Walker. You pulled away ever so often when Bucky invited other people to his birthday party or movie nights.
It wasn’t unusual for people to invite other people to a party, but it always left a bitter taste on your tongue remembering what happened because Bucky wanted to spend time with John Walker.
You were still friends, and you still felt deeply for Bucky, but Steve turned out to be a better friend. He was less impressed by other people trying to join your little clique. 
Steve was still a heartbreaker, and notorious womanizer, but at the same time, he was the best friend you could wish for.
One call and Steve Rogers stood in front of your door, asking who you wanted him to beat into a pulp.
He didn’t want Bucky and you not to be friends, but at the same time, he enjoyed being your best friend again.
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Movie nights were special to you and your friends. Sadly, you couldn’t join the latest movie night, and this is how Steve and Bucky ended up at Steve’s place, fighting over the movie they wanted to watch. 
“So, any girls you dated lately?” Steve tried to tease his friend. He knew Bucky had never had a date with a girl before. 
“No,” Bucky grunted and glared at Steve. “I’m not a serial lady-killer like you. I’m waiting for the right girl.”
“Did you ever kiss a girl?” Steve pressed on. 
“I won’t tell you,” Bucky sighed, ashamed he still didn’t find the guts to finally ask you on a date.   
“How do you wanna know you are into girls if you never kissed one or asked a girl out?” 
Bucky frowned deeply. “What’s that supposed to mean? The way you treat girls tells me you can’t be into them either. You treat every girl you date like shit.”
“What?” That made Steve rethink his whole dating history. “No…I mean…I’m totally into girls!”
“Are you sure?” Bucky grinned as his friends suddenly looked like a confused puppy. “If you like them so much, why do you always break up with them after one date?”
“Hmm…” Steve nodded. “That’s nonsense! I like girls!”
“How do you wanna know? Maybe you are into guys and don’t even know it!” The brunette argued. If Steve wanted to mess with him for being shy around girls, he’d pay him back.
“How do want me to find out?” Steve bit back. “I’m pretty sure that I like girls.”
“How shall I know?” Bucky muttered.
“Hey, guys!” You almost ripped the door open to scare your friends. “I’m back and made it to movie night!” You stopped in your tracks as your friends looked like you caught them jerking off or something. “Okay, what did you do?”
Both refused to look you in the eyes. You had to annoy them for almost half an hour before they told you about their discussion.
“Easy!” You exclaimed. “I’ll kiss Bucky, and then Bucky will kiss you!” 
They stared at you, wide-eyed and scared. “What?” They both hiccupped. “NO!”
“Oh yeah!” You nodded and already crawled onto Bucky’s lap. If he was too shy to make a move, you’d take matters into your own hands. “Relax, Buck. It’s only a kiss.”
“Only a kiss…right,” he stammered. Bucky didn’t want you to know it would be his first real kiss with a girl. 
“We kissed before, on the mouth,” you cupped his face and brushed your nose against his. “I hope you brushed your teeth.” You teased before going for gold. Bucky gasped when you claimed his lips, gentle yet determined to make him see he only wants to kiss you from now on. “There, you go, Bucky.”
“I—” Steve cleared his throat. “Uh-will you kiss me too, Y/N?”
“Nah, you had your lips on every girl in our school!” You wrinkled your nose. “I won’t kiss you. You’re like a brother to me. That’s odd!”
“And?” Steve asked Bucky. 
“It was…good.” He grumbled and shifted on the couch. “I think I’m into girls.”
“You can’t be sure,” you hopped off his lap and winked at Steve. “Now, kiss him, Stevie. I wanna know if you can do it better! But remember, no tongue!”
“Tongue?” Bucky shrieked when Steve sat next to him. Your friend never was one to back down. You challenged him so he’d kiss Bucky to prove a point.
“Relax, I’m a good kisser,” Steve cupped Bucky’s face, unsure if he should kiss him or wait for Bucky to take the lead. “Fuck it.” 
You giggled when Steve pressed his lips to Bucky’s. They quickly parted and wrinkled their foreheads before wiping their mouths on their shirt.
“That was—” Steve retched. “I don’t want to kiss you again!”
“Same,” Bucky shuddered. “Y/N is a better kisser.”
You grinned at Bucky’s words. Of course, you were a better kisser. You practiced in front of a mirror, imagining it’s Bucky kissing you back.
“I win,” you sat between your friends and chuckled. “So, are you both into girls?”
“YES!” They hastily said. 
The rest of the night was filled with friendly banter, lots of teasing, and stuffing junk food into your mouth.
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Two years later your lives changed again.
The first days at NYU were almost the same as usual. You would spend your time hanging out with Steve, and teasing Bucky after classes, or try to hit it off with the new friends you made. Natasha, Wanda, and Okoye.
Steve and you were still best friends, and Bucky was still too shy to ask you out.
The only difference was you weren’t living at home any longer. You made enough money with your part-time jobs to pay for a small apartment off campus to have some peace and quit once in a while.
“I need to tell you something,” Steve stormed into your small apartment, making you shriek. You gave him a key for emergencies, not to storm into your room when you are chilling on your couch in nothing but your underwear.
“STEVE! We talked about boundaries. I could’ve been naked!”
He shrugged and plopped down on your couch. “I did it!” He grinned from ear to ear. 
“You did what?” You groaned and put the book you tried to read down. “I hope you don’t mean you bought that bike you were talking about!”
“I meant sex, Y/N,” Steve smirked. “Peggy and I made the next step. I know this is sudden, but I think I love her!”
“Whoa!” You jumped off the couch to pace the room. “Steven Grant Rogers!” You looked at him like a strict parent. “I hope you used protecting, young man.”
“Yeah…of course! I’m not stupid, Y/N!”
“Good!” You nodded. “And…uh…I’m so happy you found someone you love, Stevie.” You wrapped your friend in a hug and kissed his cheek. “I hope you were a gentleman too.”
“She kinda took the lead,” he admitted. “I mean…it wasn’t her first time. I wish I was her first, but I wasn’t, and…” Steve nervously babbled. “But I love her, and it’s okay. We can do it for the rest of our lives.”
“Whoa!” You slowly let go of Steve, grabbing his upper arms to get a good look at your friend. “You really are in love!”
“Yeah,” his cheeks turned pink, and it made him look even more adorable. “I am.”
“Yes, it finally happened,” you wrapped your arms around him. “Maybe I can invite the both of you for dinner. I asked Bucky, and the others yesterday. If you want to, you can join us.”
“I’m the last one you ask?” He grunted.
“Babe, you weren’t available. I ended up on voicemail. You should check your messages,” you snickered. “But I get it. Your dick finally got some action, and all your blood ran down your lower half.” 
You patted his back and sighed. If Steve was happy, you’d gladly support him and his blooming relationship. 
Even though, Peggy Carter was the last girl you wanted to be around your friend. She always gave you the stinky eye, and you had no clue why…
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“Dinner is ready,” you clapped your hands and looked around your crowded living room. “We’ve got pasta, salad, and vegetarian pizza. There are more than enough snacks too.”
“Where’s Steve?” Okoye asked. You didn’t hear from Steve for the better of a week, and worried about him. He didn’t call you back, but you assumed he was busy with his girlfriend and his art classes.
“He promised he’d be here. Don’t worry. Stevie likes to run late,” you grinned and popped a grape in your mouth. “Go ahead, have some food!”
You walked out of the apartment, closing the door behind you to call Steve again. It wasn’t that you wanted to be the kind of friend getting on Steve’s nerves, but you missed your friend and worried more than you’d like to admit.
“Still no sign?” Bucky followed you outside and glanced at your phone. “Do…do you want me to drive you to the frat house?"
“I don’t know. Maybe he’s just busy with his girlfriend. Peggy is not a big fan of me,” you said and shook your head. 
“Why not?”
Before you could answer, someone walked toward your apartment. It was Steve, looking like someone had kicked him in the guts.
“Stevie?” You ran toward him to wrap him in a hug. “What happened? Is something wrong at the frat house? You can bunker at my place if you want to.”
“It’s not the boys. They are cool,” he sniffled and hid his face in your shoulder. You ran your hand over his head, and down to his shoulder, murmuring soothing words. “She broke things up with me for some other guy. Peggy said she doesn’t love me and that she only wanted to see if I can keep up with my reputation.”
“Oh, Stevie,” you whispered and kissed his cheek. “She’s a stupid bitch and doesn’t deserve my best friend.”
“I liked her so much, and she only wanted me for sex,” he snorted. “Can you imagine, she laughed right in my face when I admitted that she was my first.”
“I’ll kill that bitch,” you wrapped your arms a little tighter around your friend. “Do you want to go for a walk or…”
“Can I have some food? I didn’t eat anything today,” Steve rubbed his face on your shoulder. “You promised pasta and snacks.”
“Sure thing, Stevie.”
Steve spent the evening with you, Bucky, and your new friends. The others went home while Bucky, Steve, and you had a sleepover just like when you were just kids.
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“She’s such a bitch,” you gritted your teeth as you had to watch Peggy be all over John Walker. They made out right in front of your friend, and it made you furious. “I’ll pay her back.”
“Forget it,” Steve shrugged. It was a few weeks later, and he slowly got back on his feet. “I got a date with her cousin, Sharon.” He grinned like the devil. “I heard through the grapevine that Sharon and Peggy hate each other. And Sharon is into kinky shit.”
“Steven Grant Rogers,” you slapped his chest. “You sneaky bastard!”
“What? Sharon always had a thing for me, and now that I did it, I feel confident enough to do her good,“ he smirked. “I bet she’s love sucking my—”
You covered his mouth with your hand. “If you mention your dick, I’ll kick your balls. Just be careful and use protection.” 
“Aw, you’re such a good friend,” he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and kissed your cheek. “Like a mom.”
“Dude don’t call me a mom! I’m not ready to settle down and have kids,” you snapped at Steve. “I worry about you, is all.”
“…and I love you for it,” he pecked your cheek. “Please never change, doll. You are one in a million.”
“Can you tell this to Bucky?” You sighed.
“Y/N, if you want to get your hands on our friend Bucky, you must take matters into your own hands. He’s shy, and if you wait for much longer, some other girl will make a move on him. You don’t want him to end up with someone like Peggy, right?”
“No!” You hastily said. “Hmm…take matters into my hands.” You looked at Peggy shamelessly making out with Walker. “I think you are not wrong, Stevie. I should make a move on Bucky…”
Shy guy (5) - Present
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yamatologistt · 1 year
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im like, what, 10 years late to the whole walking dead game thing but i was way too young back then to understand the game. i hope people still enjoy it, its a really good game (and sad) but im only up to season 3 right now (i only really liked s1 and s2) but im not finished so i cant really make decisions rn
i just want to talk about ben rn and evaluate him cause im rewatching it and now that hes my favourite i notice more things about him now. (i literally look at him everytime hes in frame even if its just showing the back of his head oml)
but anyway i see a lot of ben hate and sure i get it but i dont at the same time ben is so silly how can u hate him
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- to start, when we first met ben in the woods, he’d already been through some stuff, like he saw his classmate off herself and turn into a walker, his camp got raided and he was left with 1 friend and his teacher (who both still die btw) so most of what he had left before the apocalypse was gone
- when lee is rationing out the food, if he gives ben food first, kenny comes and tells lee that there’s kids that need food too, and ben literally is like ‘sorry i didnt want any trouble’ like cmon, and he’s literally a kid too he deserves the food as much as anyone else
- on the train he is interested in the controls and being up there, so we can see that he generally enjoyed it. but once lee gets the engine going, kenny comes and ben immediately has to go babysit katjaa clem and duck (he is also visibly upset) AND THEN later on lee asks how ben was doing and he says ‘im watching the girls and not working on a mega cool train’ (let him on the train immediately 😠😠)
- ok, so maybe he did sneak supplies to the bandits and i think this is just me being biased but i feel like him giving the supplies held off the bandits a little. i mean think about it, they moved on from the st john’s farm and started taking from the motel, right? im not sure how the bandits asked ben (if they made it clear then i forgot) but if he refused wouldnt the bandits come attack even earlier? i mean they needed the supplies right, and if ben didnt give them anything to begin with they would have raided the motel anyway. i mean they knew where they were even before the st john incident. idk its just a thought
- i think it was cool how ben managed to confess to lee that he was the one who slipped the bandits supplies. like you can tell ben is a good guy cause the guilt was almost literally eating him from the inside. and even though ben isnt one of the bravest people, he still confessed knowing that lee’s reaction wouldnt be pretty. (also his stance when leaning on the train railing was so silly to me)
- after they meet christa and omid, ben tells lee that his biggest fear was to be eaten by the walkers. i mean he literally said that if he got bitten he would off himself 😢😢
- also ben was always referred to as a child but he was never treated like one, everyone excpected him to be brave and strong but in reality he was just some scrawny highschool student who was scared and couldnt live up to his impossible standards. man, i really just wanna give ben a big hug
- if you tell ben to “kill anything that gets in” he responds with “you know you’re talking to me, right?” poor ben
- even though his biggest fear is getting eaten by walkers, you still have the option to leave him behind, and let him go at the bell tower. i mean how could u do this to him hes already gone through enough
- lastly, the part where ben tells off kenny is literally iconic, that scene singlehandedly made ben one of my favourite characters of all time, i was like everyone else, i didnt care about ben because i thought he was a bad guy since i never really payed attention to him. but i swear when he was telling kenny off it felt like i was being told off too. i mean his point was valid too, kenny had his family to say goodbye to, and ben (and literally everyone else) never got to see their family, (or they saw them as walkers, lee and clem,, :( )
- i know the last point was meant to be the last one but cmon its ben i could type this for ages longer but yeah. he had the literal best character development in the game. at first he was some stupid kid who was always messing up and before he died he was an amazing character who deserved literally everything. omg i cried so hard when he died cause when he fell i was like, oh i think its ok the fall wasnt too far and he said he only hurt his leg, but bro once we saw what really happened my heart sank bro it was so sad i really hoped nothing bad happened to him ☹️☹️ but i think kenny did the right thing cause like we said, his worst fear was the walkers getting to him. gosh i feel like i watched his death for the first time ages ago and i still cant stop thinking about him man
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anyways, i would literally do anything to give ben a massive hug, he did his best and he was literally so funny too :((
(thanks if u read this far btw, i just wanted to rant about this man i love him so much and i will defend him with my life) 😠‼️
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sir-yeehaw-paws · 9 months
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You seem very knowledgeable so I'll ask you this. What's the deal with V missing the snake shaped scar that John has? Or was the scar fake? It was used to conceal a jigsaw if I recall correctly then disappeared. But how is that possible? Scars don't just disappear. I'm so confused xD Did Ocelot forget?
Hello Anon!
Yeah, that never seems to get a full explanation in game so there are a few theories going for it.
Big Boss' scar did indeed contain a jigsaw within it's stitching. Whether he put the jigsaw in later, or created the scar to be a memory of the Boss I'm not 100% certain; and I don't recall if he still has it post-Peace Walker. I believe that there could still be remnant scarring after the Jigsaw is removed, but I need someone to confirm my memory here. Edit: I've had a little look around the web again, and the consensus seems to be that because the jigsaw wasn't that deep; he didn't have much remaining of it after he removes it. Which could also be why Ocelot didn't bother putting one on Venom. If the scar wasn't present post 1974, there'd be no need to put that on Venom.
But for some other ideas, there are a few possibilities I and others have considered, and tossed around.
Venom is so full of shrapnel it wouldn't matter if he had the jigsaw scar or not. Although his chest doesn't have the brunt of the scarring from what we see, it could be one of those 'write off' things.
Ocelot didn't think it was relevant/didn't bother. This would tie better in with Big Boss not having it jigsaw removal. No point adding something that is no longer there.
He ran out of time. Venom doesn't receive plastic surgery to alter his face in game until around 2 weeks before they escape.While they had probably been doing surgery around other periods, it's possible it was one of those things that couldn't get finished. Venom is described as being 'incomplete' due to having to be woken up before the XOF attack. Even with 9 years to work with, they didn't finish him 100%
But yeah, the most likely reason is BB not having it post '74. And just for the fun of it, some Venom and BB photo tax (including this very amusing link I found for the Venom pics with '166 days, 8 hours, 1 minute, and 59 seconds until we get Sexy Big Boss Action' in a pre-countdown before the release of Phantom Pain. I hope that OP had a great time with Phantom Pain.
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I wanna devour this Venom with my bare hands.
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Little less than super, soldier
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Part 4- THE END!
God damn this was meant to be short but hey.
First / Previous
Summary: Zemo has escaped but how will y/n deal with the fallout.
Zemo X OC (but written an reader insert in-case you wanna play in the space. backstory linked in part one ✌)
Warnings: gore, body horror, self deprecation,
The fight had ended poorly. Bucky missing an arm, the Dora Milaje humiliating John and his reddening face inches from your own.
"You let Zemo go!" He roared, spittle flying out at you. You feigned surprise, moving to look but he had you by the shirt in a second.
"Let them go." Bucky growled. Walker sneered before he made a dramatic gesture of dropping the fabric in his hand. You went to scamper back but he grabbed your arm in a bruising grip.
"No no Y/n, you are under arrest..." John began. His nostrils flared as he glared down at you with a smug grin. He was furious and it seemed he would be taking that out on you.
"Wait no you can't..." Sam cut in coming forward.
"Can't I? You gonna go against the law... again?" John snapped spinning you. You didn't struggle as you looked to Sam and Bucky. Sam stood frozen as he watched you get cuffed while Bucky seemed to be staring incredulously at him.
You tore your eyes from them letting John pull you to the door. You fought back the tears at their silence as you stumbled in John's forceful grasp. They were abandoning you? After everything Sam no longer trusted you and it shattered your world.
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John had been gone for some time and you hadn't seen Lemar since they'd chained you up there. Why he'd not just brought you to some US embassy or something was beyond you. Though they seemed to have to rush off suddenly and had just picked some place to tie you up in.
So you stayed cuffed to the metal scaffolding in the warehouse. Light fell and rose and you drifted in and out of sleep. It'd rained at some point and the floor you were laying in was still wet.
You couldn't find it in yourself to rise instead letting the cold rack your body. You didn't even tug against the metal of the cuffs. Maybe this is what you deserved. Maybe Sam was right to leave you to John and the government. That this would be your punishment for abandoning the world; for believing Zemo was right here, for not even stepping in to help them against the dora, for being useless.
You wanted to hate Sam and Bucky but he'd done the right thing, he always had. This must be the right thing for everyone then? It was yourself you found the rage turning on. Where you stupid to fall for Zemo's kindness? Had every moment with him been to lead you to this.
Though it couldn't have been right? He'd offered you an escape but to take it you'd have to turn your back on Sam forever. You just couldn't find it in yourself to do that. You only had yourself to blame.
John returned in a state. Running into the building and spinning in some kind of distress. You remained silent as you observed him. Something had gone terribly wrong and your thoughts quickly turned to concern.
John seemed to oscillate between rambling whispers and shouts. As he turned you saw the blood. A shocking red against the gleam of the shield. At this you froze stiff not even fearing a breath that might draw his attention. What had he done? Was Sam okay? Helmut?
He turned to you suddenly and you felt a sudden bolt of fear. His face seemed set and he walked purposefully to you. In flashes you saw soldat in his place. The metal arm coming to take you. You couldn't help but flinch at him though he payed it little mind.
His grip was stronger than before as he hauled you to your feet. He un-cuffed the hand securing you to the wall and gripped your wrist to re-cuff them together. The pressure was imminence and you hissed as you tried to tug away from the pain. John yanked the hand to restrain you and you felt the bone snap.
You shrieked at the sudden pain before he shoved you forward.
"Time to go to work." He spoke.
You lifted your head to see Sam and Bucky a few meters across the empty middle of the warehouse. For a second you were sure they weren't real but they remained solid. They'd come back for you?
Sam was focused on John but Bucky's eyes shifted sympathetically to you. His hand subtly out to still you, to tell you not to move as they tried to talk him down. He grimaced at your limp hand before shooting a glare back to Walker.
Walker seemed distraught, Lemar was dead and he was on the war path. As soon as Sam mentioned the shield he seemed to shift and his voice took on an aggressive bite.
Bucky moved first and John was on them in an instant, tossing you into a pillar with a sickening snap. The fight was brutal to watch as your writhed healing your spine on the ground. Walker was definitely stronger but how? Hadn't the serum been destroyed? Walker flung Bucky across the room and you rose. Sam was still on the attack but even with his wings John was beating him.
You staggered to your feet even as your insides screamed. Something was piercing something else but that didn't matter right now. You tackled into John as he swung the shield into the ground above where Sam's head had been. He rolled with you before pinning you to the ground. You swung your bound wrists as you tried to catch the metal against him but his mask took the hit. You snapped your teeth at him as you tried to wriggle out.
John brought the shield up over his head and you heard Sam call out to you. The the red, white and blue was brought down into your face. It was beyond any pain you'd experienced in years. The bones cracked and caved in, your eyes popped and within seconds your waking mind left you.
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You woke with a start shrieking out for Sam. He was at your side in an instant assuring you it was over and offering water. You accepted looking around the room before surveying Sam. He was hurt but okay and with some persuasion he let you heal him.
"Always hated the way that felt." He said when you pulled your hand back. "Like itchy?" You laughed at that. He was right, pain was pain but the healing always felt invasive.
"Look, I'm sorry about..." Sam began.
"No!" you cut in. "I'm sorry, I let all this stuff get to me and I wasn't helpful." You tried to explain but found yourself stopping when Sam let out an almost manic laugh.
"There you go again. It's not your fault, Zemo got in everyone's head. Bucky's off to deal with him" Sam met your eye. You shifted your gaze to the ground at that. It felt shameful to admit to Sam you'd grown fond of the man and you worried what would happen to him. Especially if you'd just been a fool in his game.
"And you've been a massive help. I hate to ask for something else but..." Sam trailed off shaking his head.
"Anything Sam." You stressed. You felt awful at this situation, like you needed to make it up to him more than just healing some scrapes.
"I gotta sort something and Sarah's heading home, I'd just appreciate if someone else was with her. At least til I get back." Sam shifted uncomfortably.
You of course agreed to go and were on a flight with him back to the US. You were thankful to this Torres fellow for getting you passed security. Then you split from Sam at the airport heading out to meet his sister and her boys.
Sarah was kind, every bit as delightful as Sam and then some. You took to helping her make these batch meals for folk. She was good at giving you direction but her boys made quick work at roping you into their games instead.
"Really? You've never played hide and seek?" She asked as you counted for them. She'd left the stove to come check on you in the living room.
"No, well maybe? You don't normally attack when you find them right?" You spoke with your hands hiding your face, though you could hear the brief panic in her breath.
"I'm kidding." You grinned behind your fingers.
"About the game or...?" She began making you laugh. She chuckled along before you took your hands from your eyes.
"I think I should get some help." You confessed meeting her gaze. She frowned in that little concerned way Sam did. "I... Sam told you about..." You tried to begin.
Her hand covered yours in your lap and you remained very still. "Yeah, not sure who you could talk to about this but sometimes you gotta let people in. Folk who know what you've been through that you can speak about this with."
"If your talking about Sam he doesn't know all the details..." You sighed. Still even after your short trip and time here, you could let her keep a hold of you. She squeezed a little before rising.
"Doesn't have to be Sam but you gotta open up to someone. Someone you feel comfortable around, that makes you feel safe you know? Now go look before those boys start to worry you forgot about them!" She laughed.
You smiled, someone that made you feel safe?
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Sam came back soon with an easy smile for you and you felt yourself drifting back to your usual comfort with him. You spent your day with him and Sarah's boys untangling fish net. Then you'd spent the evening watching anything Sarah recommended. Sam was preparing to fix the boat to sell it and you immediately offered your help.
"Do you know anything about boats?" He asked.
"No..." You admitted and he just grinned.
Bucky returned that day, immediately jumping in to assist Sam. You couldn't help but grin at him. In a lot of ways he was so much like you. Only he had a normal to look back on for how to act with people. Even if his manners may be a little out of date.
He seemed stiff around you but as the time fixing together passed he eased up. Even joking with you when you'd struggled with some of the manual jobs.
"Come on if I can't help you at least use your legs!" He encouraged as you tried to shift a box.
"Not all of us got cool robot arms for their troubles!" You huffed giving up on the thing. Bucky's face looked strained again. You sighed to yourself, Sarah was right. Things were still a struggle between you both but maybe a little openness on your part could ease him.
"You know it's not you I was ever scared of right?" You assured, shifting as you tried to get into Bucky's vision. He kept turning but you danced around him. You knew you'd hit the nail on the head.
"Not gonna stop till you look at me bud." You laughed and Bucky stopped. His face was still pained and you found your heart breaking for him.
"I never blamed you. We all you knew who you were, what they'd done. None of us in that mountain blamed James Buchanan Barnes for what the soldier was forced to do to us." You explained. "I've been jumping at a shadow of a nightmare" He nodded to you but his face remained serious.
"Then why'd you pretend about the pain..." He frowned at you. Your mouth bobbed open before he interjected. "And I know it does really hurt so why bother lying about it."
"Because it made you feel better." You admitted. Bucky gritted his teeth and you could see his confusion still on his brow. "We deserved a fresh start with one another, right?" You asked as he met your eye again.
Bucky nodded slightly. You knew shifting it to be about you too would help ease him. It wasn't totally a lie, you'd love to try putting your past behind you. To get to know him as Bucky the guy Rogers had told you about.
"Bucky." He stated as he put a hand out to yours.
"Y/n." You smiled back as you shook his hand.
Bucky and Sam broke off from you as you took to sanding and painting. You could hear them talk about Karli in hushed tones. While it broke you to think about them going against her again, you knew you couldn't get involved again.
Then Bucky mentioned Zemo. So he was still alive and in prison from the sounds of things. It comforted you somewhat, to know he was okay. If he was there he likely wanted it that way. Not like seeing him again could really do you any good. Getting conformation about his manipulation was most you'd gain.
Bucky headed back with you and Sam to sleep for the night when the light got low. You'd packed your bags that morning before heading out to the boat and were in the process of sneaking out. With everything you'd felt overwhelmed and need to take a step away. You stopped in your tracks when you spotted Sam's silhouette in the shadows of the kitchen.
"You mind getting the light?" He said. You flicked the switch and Sam stood leaning against the counter arms crossed over his chest. "You were just gonna leave without saying good bye to the boys?"
"I can't stay Sam...I can't help you with Karli." You started.
"I'm not saying you gotta stay, you don't even gotta help... just don't leave for good this time." Sam said.
"I... I'm sorry I never told you everything." You stumbled over your words, letting your bag drop as you entered the room. You trusted Sam and even when you thought he'd betrayed you, it'd been you that was wrong.
"Never really told us anything." Bucky's voice cut through. You jumped as he rounded the corner behind you, walking past with a tight smile. "Sorry." he said giving you a tight smile.
"I...I don't know how to talk about this. I was... HYDRA... things are still so hard for me. I want to make friends and I want to help you guys but it all still hurts so much. It's so hard to be around people." You didn't know when you started crying, just felt the first tear fall and then couldn't stop the rest.
"We're here Y/n, you can talk to us." Sam assured.
"Maybe something little, something I'd been thinking about. Why'd you stay in Sokovia." Bucky started as Sam shot him a frown. You turned to him. He was scrutinizing again but you knew why he'd asked.
"When you brought me there before, when the soldier did. I liked it, despite everything. The smells were nice, the city was beautiful. When I crawled out of that mountain, I thought it would be the last place they'd check. Plus I already learned some of the language." You explained, trying to laugh at the end but it sounded choked.
"And when Ultron attacked?" Sam continued for you. "Why'd didn't you let them help you?"
"They were the Avengers, I was a HYDRA experiment. I thought if I was found I'd end up in a cell again. Wasn't wrong about that was I?" You grimaced and Sam mirrored your expression. Like he too was remembering the compound they'd taken you to. The sobs intensified, you felt your throat constricting tighter. "I can't..." You strained.
"It's okay Y/n, you don't have to tell us everything now. Just know you can talk about it, if you want." Sam began as he crossed to you. He reached for you and you flung yourself against his chest, gripping him in a tight hug. He held you there, rubbing your back as he spoke. "Sharon's got something set up for you, your always welcome back. Just pass on the number once you've settled."
He pulled back and you laughed at the mess on his shirt. "Ruined that." You laughed. Bucky joining you giving your shoulder a light squeeze.
"Ah not the worst fluid you've spilled on him... Wait no that came out wrong. The...the blood" Bucky hid behind his hand. Sam and you both laughing at him.
You stayed until the morning, thanking Sarah properly for having you and saying good-bye to her boys. AJ insisted you return soon and you pinkie promised.
"Don't you break that now." Sam warned grinning.
"What you think AJ's gonna break my pinkie?" You smirked.
"Oh he might, got a good throwing arm that one." Bucky laughed as he went to chase him off.
You'd never been great with good byes but this seemed easier. It was a see you soon after all. So with that you left again, heart feeling lighter than it had in years.
Sharon's return to the USA meant she had to hide her slightly less than legal help. Still the flat was bigger than you'd ever had and the admittedly humorous alias was more than you could have ever asked for.
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Oeznik's assistance came quick, a few weeks back he might not have wanted to be free again. Hell when Bucky held the gun to his head he'd been ready to die. Though as soon as Zemo was back in that cell again he felt his mind shift to you.
Where would you be? Sam would never leave you with John and as far as he'd heard your escape was part of what had ended up disgracing their new captain america. Still he couldn't help but imagine you in the sun traveling the world. Taking in art at museums was his favourite fantasy, he'd imagine you bright and dazzled just like in Madripoor. Then feeling of your finger tips on his forehead would burn in his mind. Had that been the first time you'd touched his skin?
Now he was free again he hesitated. He could live the remaining years in his homes, traveling and reading. Only now he couldn't imagine doing so without at least seeing you again. Maybe you'd figured out he'd played you somewhat. Maybe you'd not want to see him again.
"You know..." Oeznik approached from his side handing him his phone. "I hear the British Museum is doing a final showcase." Zemo smiled to him as he left him in. On the screen was the add for the event, he went to close the app before the picture changed.
He'd tapped the screen just enough to scroll image and his eyes were widened. There on the street, smiling on the phone was you. Still with the somewhat disheveled look you'd sported before but with a new edition. You were still wearing his shirt.
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You'd only been to a few places last time you'd been in London. Never anything touristy so you were quiet enjoying your time in the Museum. It'd be the last time a lot of these things were going to be shown here. Next time you'd have to visit the country they belonged too.
By request of your rather strange neighbour you were checking out the Egyptian exhibits today. He'd offered to come as he had a fair bit of knowledge on the subject but you'd declined. He was nice sure but his ever shifting accent put you off somewhat. That and you could only imagine doing this with one person.
It was there you'd felt the strange sensation crawl up your spine. You were being watched and the fright set your hair on ends. Has someone come for you? SWORD knew John had had you, so maybe they'd been tracking you? You remained composed as you shifted down the hall slowly. Keeping your eyes on the attractions as you made your way to more sparse areas.
The crowd thinned giving you a better opportunity to seek out your tail. A man, average build and height but that was all you could tell from the distance. You rounded a corner dotting into the arch leading to the toilets. You flipped the burner open preparing to alert Sam or Bucky.
The man passed but paused looking into the empty room. You moved to leave sneak behind him but paused. The familiar figure turned slightly and you stepped fully out from your hiding spot.
"Helmut?" You asked. He dropped his head and chuckled before turning to face you.
"Hello leibling." Zemo smiled broadly shifting on his feet. You felt your heart skip a beat as you stared up into deep brown eyes. He looked tired and soft, dressed in plain casual clothes with his chestnut hair tousled.
"Bucky said..." You began finding your voice catching as your eyes drank him in.
"Ah yes, free again. I'm so pleased to see you are too. I worried what might have happened with Walker." Helmut said. His eyes glanced behind you as a tour group entered the room.
You realized how awkward it looked standing so far apart to talk and made your way towards him. Helmut stiffened a fraction before you smiled gently to him and gestured to the art as you walked.
"Well had to take that shield to the face again but Sam and Bucky came back for me. Got me set up here." You explained as he followed close after you. Your nerves seemed to react to his proximity setting you on edge rather than the comfort they'd brought before.
You risked a glance to Zemo stilling as you caught his darkened expression. He quickly softened as your eyes met but you wondered what had riled him up.
"I wanted to apologize for that. I would have come for you but I knew Sam wouldn't leave you. I won't lie I did intend to drive you two apart before." Helmut said. His eyes had drifted from you and you got the sense he was actually being genuine.
"Well, like I said they came back for me. Oddly I have to say I've been doing a lot better since that trip." You admitted. Zemo's eye darted back to you surprised by your comment.
"Been working on being more open with people I care about." You preened. "Which does bring me to something I would like you to clear up."
"Oh?" Zemo asked.
"You admit you'd manipulated us but was it all that?" You asked, turning to face him. The room was quiet again as the group from before left. You were alone again and with far less space between you both. His eyes were set on yours with a soft intensity you were unfamiliar with.
"I came to find you for two reasons. Firstly to ensure my departure hadn't lead to complications for yourself." Zemo whispered as he stepped in closer. A buzz ran through your veins, something like adrenaline but that bubbled an excitement in you.
"Secondly because I greatly enjoyed our time together." He smiled down at you. The grin split your face immediately and Zemo tucked his chin in as he chuckled.
"I'm glad that pleases you, care for some company?" Zemo grinned offering you his arm. You took it as the butterflies seemed to burst from your stomach and fluttered up into your head.
"Yes, danke" You giggled.
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You glittered. Bright, warm, charming, somehow more you than he'd ever seen before. Zemo had been stunned from the moment he saw you in person again. You were somehow lighter than before, free in a way you'd never been.
It sent a warmth flooding through him that made him feel like a blushing teenager. It took everything not to stumble over his words as he chatted about the art exhibits.
Helmut felt the familiar tug of your body as you shifted closer to him. It was getting busy and he could tell his time was up. Still he didn't wish to part ways just yet.
"If it's not to bold, I'd like to see you again. Tomorrow?" Zemo asked as he led you to a taxi rank.
"Ahh tomorrow's not going to work." You trailed off. Zemo felt stung by the rejection but endeavored to be the gentleman. You owed him nothing of course but his heart tugged him to you. Still he gently removed his arm from your own, not wishing to cause you discomfort.
"Ah, my apologies..." He began but stopped when you'd suddenly gripped his arm.
"No! Uh..." You fumbled pulling your hands back. "I'm headed to the US tomorrow to visit Sam, he's got some BBQ thing and I promised..."
"Well you don't supposed you'd be allowed a plus one." Zemo chuckled. Your shoulders relaxed again and you laughed with him before retaking his arm in your own.
"Not entirely sure how welcome you'd be." You said.
Zemo smirked at you. "Perhaps not, well how about I meet you back here when you return. I would love to show you this lovely restaurant."
"It's a date!" You laughed before stilling again. Zemo let his hand rest on your arm stroking his thumb against you.
"Perfect." He purred. You looked so cute blushing in front of him but you met his eyes again. He went to remove his arm again to hail a taxi but your grip tightened. Helmut struggled to keep his gaze locked on your own on briefly glancing down to your lips.
"I...you could... If your not busy that is." You stuttered before taking a breath and settling yourself. "Would you like to come to mine."
Helmut was stunned by the offer but recovered before you'd notice.
"Of course." He agreed grinning from ear to ear. Excitement for the future bubbled through him for the first time in years. Oh he was smitten.
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spnfanficpond · 9 months
Text
New Member Spotlight - June/July 2023
The Pond is always growing and we want to make our new members feel welcome! Here’s a list of recent additions to our fishy family, along with a little info about them!
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Turtles
@lacilou -
Other fandoms? - Walker
Looking for in the Pond? - More Sam Winchester stories
Something to signal boost? - I have a TikTok! lulu_dances_with_moose
Pairings you read? - Sam Winchester x Reader
Genres you read? - All
Favorite writer(s)? - @uncouth-the-fifth @thinkinghardhardlythinking @deanwinchesterswitch
@sandwitch-of-solidarity -
Other SM names? - Discord: bean119
OTP? - Destiel, Samwena
Other fandoms? - Hannibal, Good Omens, OFMD
Looking for in the Pond? - Good fic recs!
Pairings you read? - Destiel, Samwena
Genres you read? - All, especially long fics
Favorite writer(s)? - @sobsicles, but it changes every week
@perpetualabsurdity -
Looking for in the Pond? - More Jensen/Dean content 😊
Pairings you read? - Jensen/reader, Jensen/OFC, Dean/reader, Dean/OFC
Genres you read? - Smut, mostly, but really all
Favorite writer(s)? - @luci-in-trenchcoats, @smol-and-grumpy, @supernatural-jackles
@fuiabarcelos -
Other SM names? - Discord: Fuiabarcelos, TikTok: princess_of.hell
OTP? - Destiel
Other fandoms? - Yes! I really like Julie and the phantoms and Taylor Swift.
Looking for in the Pond? - After the show ended I felt that the brazilian fanfic writers (I'm from brazil) disappeared a little, that's when I met Tumblr and AO3. I usually write fanfics in portuguese, but I'm still learning english and I thought that Pond would be a great place to improve it and, more importantly, make writer friends.
Something to signal boost? - In my wattpad profile, there are many stories of the Supernatural (all in Portuguese), but I'll leave here the link to my favorite. I know there probably won't be anyone who understands Portuguese, but google chrome has an option to translate it, in case anyone is interested. Warrior. For fans of Taylor Swift, I made some Sam's wallpapers inspired by her albums.
Pairings you read? - Mostly reader inserts.
Genres you read? - I usually read smut, fuff, Angst. My favorites are Fluff and Angst. I also like Soulmates Au, stories where the reader is some magical being and, my favorite of all, stories inspired by songs.
Favorite writer(s)? - @thinkinghardhardlythinking @princessmisery666 @queen-of-deans-booty @impala-dreamer @holylulusworld and many more!
Guppies, Jellies, and Mutuals, oh, my!
@ladynightskye -
Other SM names? - Discord: LadyKnightSkye
OTP? - Multishipper with a preference for Dean/Lucifer & Lucifer/Castiel
Other fandoms? - Multiple, but Halo, Far Cry 5, and Fire Emblem currently
Looking for in the Pond? - Kinda just wanna hang out.
Something to signal boost? - Apple Pie and the Apocalypse
Pairings you read? - Most pairings including Lucifer or Dean
Genres you read? - Au, mostly, and smut.
What do you like to write? - Alternate universes are my jam. I admittedly like taking these characters and putting them into fantasy Situations. Also lately I’ve been very into genderbending Dean.
Masterlist!
Most underappreciated fic? - Fleur de feu
PurpleEdge (AO3 only) -
Other SM names? - Discord: PurpleEdge
Looking for in the Pond? - I would like to discuss writing stuff and SPN stuff with other fans/writers.
Pairings you read? - I'm not into romantic shipping, but I love the Winchesters family dynamics - Sam & Dean, and John & the boys.
Genres you read? - Mostly Discipline fics, whump, and angst, but I'll read whatever's good.
Favorite writer(s)? - ReaperTownUSA on AO3
What do you like to write? - Discipline fics, slavery tropes, angst, gen, family dynamics, family fluff. I've posted one smut fic, but I'm not sure if I'll do more.
Masterlist!
Most underappreciated fic? - No Rest
Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - Currently I think I've tried at least once all the tropes/genres that I like. There may be things out there that I'm not aware of, and I hope that being in this community will help me discover them.
@ani-coolgirl -
Other SM names? - Discord: aniciel, AO3: ani_coolgirl
OTP? - Wincest
Looking for in the Pond? - I would just like to expand my readership and makes some friends to share ideas with.
Something to signal boost? - I'm currently working on writing a wincest fic for every episode of the show. I recently started season 5:I'm currently working on writing a wincest fic for every episode of the show. I recently started season 5: Every First Time on AO3.
Pairings you read? - Wincest
Genres you read? - Smut and angst (but I prefer a happy ending), but I enjoy me a good fluffy fic.
Favorite writer(s)? - @zmediaoutlet
What do you like to write? - Angst, plotty drama I'll never finish, smut
Masterlist!
Most underappreciated fic? - Cuckoos in Glass Houses
Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - I'm too nervous to post chapter fics because I have problems with follow through. I have epics in my brain that have yet to see the light of day because I never get past chapter 2!
@foxyjwls007 -
Other SM names? - It's the same for FB and IG
Looking for in the Pond? - To be a better writer and get help putting my work out for people to read.
Pairings you read? - Dean, Sam, Cas reader inserts
Genres you read? - All
Favorite writer(s)? - @lucidlivi, @zepskies, @spnexploration, @littlefreya, @sillyrabbit81, and many more
What do you like to write? - Fluff, smut, some angst, ofc, au
Masterlist? - I have no masterlist. Have only posted one work so far.
Most underappreciated fic? - Veggie Tale
@dawn-petrichor-world -
Other SM names? - Discord: Dawn-petrichor-world
OTP? - Destiel
Other fandoms? - I'm multi fandom, Pedro Pascal characters, marvel, Tolkien and more
Pairings you read? - Dean, Crowley, Castiel, & Sam reader inserts
Genres you read? - All
Favorite writer(s)? - @holylulusworld
What do you like to write? - Mostly angst and smut
Masterlist!
Most underappreciated fic? - The Story of my Life (series)
Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - I have a lot I haven't written yet and I'd love to write. Because I'm feeling stupid an idiot and not good. I think and hope join a group could boost or help me to write. I still don't know how.
@gloriousmooseman -
Other SM names? - Discord: taylorbeans
OTP? - Wincest
Other fandoms? - Doctor Who/Torchwood, Marvel, HP, some rpf
Looking for in the Pond? - Just to meet like minded people and make new friends!
Pairings you read? - Wincest, Drarry (HP)
Genres you read? - I love a bit of domestic fluff.
Favorite writer(s)? - @astolat is a classic!
What do you like to write? - Wincest
Masterlist!
@rominaszh -
Other SM names? - Discord: rominaszd.dis
OTP? - Destiel alongside many many others
Other fandoms? - Yes, a lot.
Looking for in the Pond? - Just to enjoy the fandom.
Pairings you read? - Destiel mostly, but anything Jensen Ackles related as well
Genres you read? - All
Favorite writer(s)? - I'm in love with everything I read, everyone is so talented!
What do you like to write? - I write mostly angst but fluff and humor is my favorite.
Masterlist!
Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - I have never written any Destiel fics because I don't feel confident enough to write them accurately and in a way that they deserve, but someday I would love to.
@limeskye -
Other SM names? - Discord: limeskye Other: psmalcolmbright
OTP? - Destiel
Other fandoms? - Prodigal Son
Looking for in the Pond? - To share the SPN love!
Pairings you read? - Destiel mostly, but also other slash pairings on occasion.
Genres you read? - Depends on my mood.
Favorite writer(s)? - @felisblanco
Masterlist? - I've only ever ficced for Prodigal Son before as have always felt the spn fandom is flooded with so many great writers. But who knows what the future holds. I've gifted for other stuff, mostly Prodigal Son and whump stuff.
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That's all for this month, folks! (If we're missing anyone, let us know and we'll add them to next month's list!) Make sure to say hi to the newbies and make them feel welcome! Thanks to all from @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @princessmisery666, @thoughtslikeaminefield, @katbratsupernaturalwhore and @heavenssexiestangel!
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rafecameronsbadussy · 2 years
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Only You || Scabs (Ch.2)
Summary: The pouges all lounge about the château and they befriend a stray cat who takes a liking to JJ and Y/n. All the while, reader is wishing JJ would stroke a different cat. They all partake in certain illegal activities and fall asleep under the stars.
Warnings: Marijuana consumption, cats(idfk?!)
My work is not to be plagiarized.
A /n: Drew inspo from the lovely gem above<3. This chapter took forever bc I went through a weird phase of writers block and this is a hobby at the end of the day I’m not gonna make myself write if it’s causing me stress. But I’m happy to bring this new chapter to you all and I missed writing for my sweethearts. xx
—————
"I'm serious, one summer I'm packing my shit and leaving without telling anyone." You rambled looking between your friends. You all lay sprawled in separate hammocks that hung from trees. The breeze dancing through the air of the Château.
"Why?" Kie asked
"So I can see something." An amused smile lingering on your face as you met the eyes of your doubtful friend.
"How will we know you're not dead?" Pope questioned, brows furrowed.
"You won't," You laughed
"That's real comforting." He smiled back.
"I just wanna leave and see the country. I'm always scared that I'll have lived my life and never seen anything so I gotta get it out of the way now. I just want to sleep under the stars and think. Maybe write a song about it and make my fortune." I spouted staring up into the sky with the familiar feeling of excitement pulling at my heart.
"Shit I could get behind that." John B replied.
"Thank you," I replied grinning.
"You're insane," Kie said smiling and shaking her head.
"I am who I-"
"Y/n/n!" JJ shouted from beside the overgrown brush.
"What!" You replied craning your head towards him.
"I found a kitty!" You watched as a black kitten walked out from the brush.
You gasped, "Aww!". JJ scooped up the kitten and walked it over to you.
"Hi little baby," sitting up, you greeted it with a warm smile. JJ held the small kitten in his hands as you pet it, looking into its olive eyes.
"Where did that come from?" John B questioned.
"Oh my gosh look at this little cutie pie," Kie said as she walked from her hammock to pet the kitten.
"I don't know, she just kinda showed up," JJ responded to John B.
"Aren't black cats supposed to be bad luck?" John B queried.
"In many parts of the world they're actually considered good luck." Pope said, staring down the feline.
"A black cat walked across the street right before my Uncle got hit by a bus," JJ blurted.
"Okay, we all know that's bullshit." John B replied rocking in his hammock.
"Don't you also have a relative that broke their mother's back after stepping on a crack?" You dropped your hand from the cat smirking up at JJ.
"Yeah, it's the same guy."
"Mkay sure,"
"Swear to god," JJ said lifting his hand and smirking down at you before plopping down beside you on the hammock.
"Is that so?" You retorted, smirking.
"Yes, that is so,"
You hummed feeling your checks burn at his new proximity. Breaking his strong gaze, you peered down at the kitten, JJ giving its head small pets.
"Ooo our goodies are ready," Kie said looking down to her phone. The others looked over at her but yours and JJ's stayed trained on the black feline and its endeavors of walking across the new terrain.
"Look at it. It's such a good little walker. We need to name it." You said to JJ watching the kitten stroll across the blue and white fabric.
"Well, we gotta see if it's a boy or girl." He replied as the others chatted.
You faked a gasp, "That's very crude of you to suggest Mr. Maybank." You replied raising your eyebrows and subconsciously batting your lashes.
"Hey now, I never suggested anything improper." He flashed a dazzling smile that put a wrench in your breathing.
You took a shaky inhale, "But it was heavily implied." A smug smile played on your lips.
"Whatever," he replied swatting his hand in the air.
"Yoo-hoo, children!" John B spouted.
"We're leaving," Pope added.
"Okay have fun!" You replied blowing them a kiss. "Be good!" JJ added although both of your eyes stayed trained on the little feline taking its first hesitant steps across the hammock.
"Let's leave the lovebirds alone with their young," Kie sighed as the three made their way over to the car with slight grumbles about their friends.
Another notable comment was made by John B, "They should just get married already,"
Their comments flew right over your head as at the same moment the kitten took a tumble and fell on its side.
"Woah little muffin you took a tumble," JJ said lifting the kitten back to its feet.
"Aw, our little baby took its first steps!" You exclaimed.
"Okay, we really outta stop calling it 'it'." He placed his eyes on you.
"Hm, okay what's a good cat name?" You said, meeting his eyes.
"Fred," he spouted.
"What? no," you replied, giving a look of disapproval.
Pleadingly, he questioned, "What's wrong with the name Fred?"
"What's right about the name Fred?" You smiled.
JJ faked a sigh, "You make it so hard to co-parent,". The idea of having a child with him made your heart-rate skyrocket, unbeknownst to you.
"It has to be gender neutral!" You giggled smiling bright at him
"Alfredo," he deadpanned, yet you found the smile in his eyes.
"How did you go from Fred to Alfredo?" You giggled tilting your head. He would be so hard to agree with on baby names.
"I'm hungry," he sheepishly grinned leaning in
"You can't eat the cat," you raised your eyebrows.
"Debatable," You giggled to this. He was close enough to smell the mint on his breath and the salt stained in his hair, and for a moment you got lost. You heard your heart thumping in your chest and everything silenced.
You looked down to his soft, plump lips and wondered what they would feel like against your own. Then he stared down to yours, the sirens went off in your head.
You harshly blinked and exhaled the animosity that had built. You tore yourself back. More so pulled but that's not how it felt. You watched his eyes shift in shape and your heart got pinched.
You couldn't, you just couldn't. You can't believe you even got close to kissing JJ. JJ one of your best friends. JJ that you've known since the third grade. No. Just no.
You shook away these thoughts and tried to steer back to conversation, "Okay we need a gender-neutral name."
"Fredo," JJ quipped, breaking the tension.
"Stop it," you smiled.
"Now let me propose Freud, eh? You like?"
Pausing a moment before declaring "Okay, I got it! Scabs we're naming it Scabs,", raising your hands slightly out of excitement.
"And I was crazy for Alfredo." He said, a sparkle in his sapphire eyes.
You grinned, "It's perfect,".
"Quirky," JJ replied.
"Come here sweet little Scabs." You squealed scooping your baby up and placing her down between your thighs. "You're so fuzzy and warm and little and squishy."
JJ reached over to pet Scabs, his calloused hands brushing against your skin. Your thighs involuntarily clenched and so did another area...
"Scabs you've got chick fur, baby." JJ's voice like velvet sent you into a fit, his breath tickling your neck. You had forgotten to breathe. Or how to for that matter.
You gazed down and were met with Scabs staring back at you, tummy exposed. Your eyes stayed trained on JJ's hand, mesmerized by the way his tendons and veins poked through as his hand glided.
What would his hand feel like on-
You cut the thought away as soon as it surfaced. Your sexual draw to JJ had become as prevalent as ever. Yes, of course that's all it was; just sexual draw.
"Mystery solved you're a baby girl." He spouted, bringing you back to earth.
You faked a gasp, "Uh, JJ you weren't supposed to look." You retorted, voice laced with sarcasm as he met your eyes.
"Hey, you're the one that put her in this position, to begin with." He pointed a finger at you.
"Because I assumed you were gentlemanly enough not to look!"
—————
The others had made their return nearly two hours ago and now you all reside in hammocks smoking and talking.
The smell of salt dances through the air as the sun makes its descent in the horizon. Slivers of golden sunshine decorating the yard.
JJ laid next to you and Scabs rested on your chest as you stroked her head. Her little eyes had been threatening to shut for several minutes.
"Close your eyes, sweetheart. I know you're scared you're gonna miss stuff but you've had a big day and you need your rest to grow big and strong." You whispered lazily to Scabs.
To this JJ turned his head and chuckled. He started lightly patting her bottom, to this you creased your brows at him. Sensing your hesitation he locked his reddened eyes with yours "Trust me, princess. I know what I'm doing." He said before turning back to her.
You watched as her eyes fluttered shut and briskly turned your head to him. "Where'd you learn that?"
"That's what you do to calm down babies." He said nonchalantly, the sliver of sunlight left allowing you to see his reddened eyes. He was the last person you had ever expected to know how to soothe an infant.
"Why do you know that?" You replied, brows creasing in confusion.
He simply brushed it off, "Everybody knows that."
"Mkay," you narrowed your eyes at him before giggling. "Here take her real quick I gotta pee." Gently, you placed Scabs onto JJ's chest, your fingers brushing the soft, gray material that clung to his chest.
" 'kay, have fun." He drawled making you grin.
"I always do," you replied with a giggle. JJ watched as you strolled into the château. You skipped right back out once you were done and were met with three sleeping pouges.
"Aw, we wore them out." You giggled, settling back into the hammock.
"Some people can not hold their substances," JJ said and you laughed as if it were the funniest thing in the world, and at that moment it was. JJ soon joined you in this fit, moonlight now beginning to kiss his face.
After you two had gotten over your hissy fit you took note of the way Scabs was curled up on JJ and gushed. "You guys are so cute, I need a picture!"
You pulled out your phone and JJ said "Wait, you have to get in it too then it can be our family photo!"
"Aw yeah." You smiled, turning your phone sideways you said "Say cheese,".
Of course, JJ said "Cheese," and you began laughing. Your phone flashed and you examined the photo.
"Look at us we're so cute. Send that to me." He said, peering over your shoulder.
"Okay," you pressed the send button and watched as JJ opened his phone and made it his background.
"What!? That is such a good idea. I gotta do that too." You hazily did the same.
"Perfect now we match," JJ muttered turning off his phone.
"Mmm it's chilly out here," you mumbled, squirming in an attempt to gain warmth.
"Come here, baby." He gave into his desires, bringing one of his arms to come and wrap around you. The pet name turning your cheeks rosy. Nonetheless, thankful for the new source of heat, you snuggled into his side. The weed in your system allowing you to let down your guard and do as you truly desired.
Letting out a content sigh you mumbled, "Your shirt is soft."
"Thank you," He said, turning his head to the side, his eyes fighting to stay open. You basked in his smell, the mix of weed, mint, and the ocean filling your senses. You felt yourself being pulled under by exhaustion, your newfound warmth, and the lullaby of his heartbeat egging this on.
"Y/n?" he said.
"What?"
"You're so pretty," he grinned a sheepish smile, one that found its way to your face as well.
"No, you're so pretty."
"No. You are."
"Fine," you sighed lightly, "We can both be pretty." You lazily giggled together.
JJ felt your giggled subside and your body relax on his and he said once and for all, "You're prettier,"
Tags: @jvandusen71 @severa-kane Lmk if you want to be tagged in future parts!💜
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anonymityisfunwriter · 10 months
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🥇 Comment Hall of Fame 🥇
I really like when people comment. What better way to encourage interaction than by rewarding it? Here's a running list of some of my favorite comments, the ones that made me laugh, the ones that made me cry, the ones that kept me going. I love all the comments I get but these are just some of my faves from AO3, Tumblr, and Wattpad. You guys are all the best. 💛
"This series has the same equivalence to the mini episode cartoons like teen titans go but like BETTER I LOVE THIS SO MUCH" - @/thatboyisagunn · I remember watching the OG Teen Titans as a kid, so I really loved this comment. Plus, it sort of gave me the idea to do like one-shots as 'mini episodes'.
"“…morally ambiguous, sarcastic, charming brunette“ I know this is supposed to be referring to Flynn Rider, but it sounds an awful lot like Bucky to me. Loved this whole story! I was smiling the whole way through." - @/bookish_irish_dancer ·I laughed for an hour when this lovely commenter said this, because, yes, that is absolutely what I was going for.
"T Swizzle is a national treasure and I will fight to the death for her." @/aswiftlytiltinguniverse ·I will too. Okay, maybe not to the death, but I will post a lot of fics with TS references.
"I GODDAMN LOVE THIS SONG DUDE. THE ANGST, THE PAIN, THE CONFUSION AND GODDAMN JOHN I HATE YOU. BARNES I LOVE YOU AND SAMUEL YOU BIG BROTHER. I'm LOVING this Tay Swift-ness author." @toomanyfanficsbruh ·I like inciting John Walker hate. Especially all caps hate. This just made me laugh so hard tbh.
"Sis, as much as i love your stories and this story.. THIS WAS A PUNCH TO THE GUT, WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS *VIRTUALLY PUKES BECAUSE YEAH, I HAVE A FULL STOMACH RN* (but whatever i still love you uwu😊🤣😭🤗)" @/youraveragehotmessofabisexual ·The "why would you do something like this" really had me cheesy grinning like I know I just hurt my entire audience, but wasn't it fun?
"“LeTs NoT gEt EmOtIoNaL” my ass. I’m emotional. Let me emote 😭" @/BuckySimp101 ·This comment made me emote. And keep going with the GrumpyxSunshine series after Two Sides of The Same Coin.
"I challenge you to a duel anonymityisfun. You hear me duel, I hope you have a blood donner cos you're gonna need it ( I'm hating where this is going but loving your update speed. Keep it up )( side note I moved to mars so you're going to have to come here for out duel. )" @i-wanna-burn-the-world ·I can say with absolute certainty that I'd never been challenged to a duel before this comment. It's happened a few times since then to be honest.
"THIS MADE ME CRY AND I DONT MEAN JUST TEARED UP I MEAN I FUCKING CRIED MAN" @/Jwritesstuff ·If you couldn't tell, I really love comments that yell at me about what I made people feel. I love it.
"WHY WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO US IM LITERALLY CRYING RIGHT NOW WHY OH GOD WHY ARE THEY TREATING HER LIKE HOW HYDRA TREATED WINTER SOLDIER 😭😭😭 THEY DONT EVEN LET HER TAKE HER BELONGINGS ITS LIKE SHES NOT EVEN HUMAN THE WAY THEYRE TREATING HER OH GOD YOU'RE PAYING MY THERAPY 😭😭😭😭 THE TITLE ITSELF GOT ME HOLDING MY SEAT LIKE WDYM LAST KISS" @/Marquiserose ·This comment always makes me cheesy grin. I love the enthusiasm.
"SAM YOU BITCH! YOU CANT JUST LEAVE US! RULE NUMBER ONE!!!" @/any_ways ·Now, you guys didn't know what I knew, but the visceral reaction everyone had to Sam at the end of Two Sides of The Same Coin was *chef's kiss*
"When I gave this story my heart it was under the impression that you wouldn’t tear it out of my chest and stomp on it" @/HopeMAnd21 ·I know it sounds silly, but I like knowing that I can make people feel things. That the words I write can actually impact a person warms my little heart.
"I always have no feedback, criticism or words, but…I once again am lost. This whole this has twist and turns, one right after the other. I really don’t know what to say. This should be a mini book that I can hold in my hands and it has that little penguin on the spine, and anonymityisfun written under the title. I’m going to cherish this. When I’m bored and want twists and turns and sorrow, this is what I’ll read. You should be very proud!" @/any_ways ·Listen, I am, by no stretch of the imagination, a crier, but this comment made me cry. Being published, being able to call myself an author, even the idea of ever getting to put something out into the world, it's been my dream since I was a kid. Ugh, it just made my heart swell.
"you really did take all these characters and made them your own. from all the fanfictions i've read, your version of marvel characters are by far my favourite. i also feel very happy seeing this full circle moment because i still remember very vividly how sad i felt when i read how alone sunshine was. thank you for this series and i hope this is not the end!!" @/khirtelt ·This felt so important because, while legally I own very little rights to these characters, they do very much feel like my characters and my stories. They all have little pieces of me, both good and bad, and I'm very proud of the work I've put into these stories.
"110% babygirlification of Bucky Barnes" @/thesweetestheart ·I do not mind being attributed to the continued babygirlification of Bucky Barnes. It's now my life goal.
"I was thinking of you when the Taylor swift album dropped I HOPE U LOVED IT 🕺🏾🕺🏾🕺🏾 Also another Drabble masterpiece as PER USUAL" @buckbuckyoongs ·When you think Taylor Swift, I hope you think of me.
"I need a friend that loves me as much as Sam and Sunny love each other... AHEM, I SAID I NEED A FRIEND THAT LOVES ME AS MUCH AS SAM AND SUNNY LOVE EACH OTHER. please? (Now I just sit and wait until someone starts talking to me... I'm gonna be here for a while.)" @i-wanna-burn-the-world ·We all need a friendship like Sam and Sunshine.
"i ADORE THIS. I LOVE ITI WOUL KILL AND DIE FOR THIS. YOURE AMAZING AND I APRECIATE YOU POSTING YOUR WRITING, SO MUCH. I LITERALLY WIND DOWN AT NIGHT WITH YOUR STORIES-" @/ValerieQ "TYSM💜 AND OFC YOURE LITERALLY A GODDESS I DONT THINK YOU UNDERSTAND-" @/ValerieQ ·This was all one comment thread and when I tell you, I was having a rough go of it, I needed this. You all hype me up so much, but this comment just made my heart melt. I'm so glad that my silly little stories are a place you guys can go to unwind and hang out. I love that so much.
"another beautiful work from @/anonymityisfunwriter and i can’t tell if i love or resent them for the pain they put me through. every. time." @mediocre-daydreams ·I wonder if they decided if they love me or they resent me yet. Either way, I'm glad I make you guys feel all the feelings. It's my goal.
"Binged the shit out of this and fell in love. I cried, I weeped, my heart swelled with so much love for these two. Honestly this series felt like a hot bowl of homemade soup on a cold day." @kjdara ·"A hot bowl of homemade soup on a cold day" Please, the way that made me choke up. One of the best, sweetest comments I've ever gotten.
"I found the sound on TT literally just scrolling through and screamed "Bucky don't leave her! She's your sunshine"... Needless to say I have a meeting with the boss man about time theft" @/MandaRinne ·The time theft part made me laugh, and also worry, but I'll take it as a good thing you guys think of the Grumpy x Sunshine series while scrolling TikTok.
"I'm glad they made up and love love the twist at the end. Because it truly signifies that sunshine is a fighter. And I love sunshine and I try to strive towards adopting the better parts of her personality into mine everyday. Fr." @/youraveragehotmessofabisexual -This, and I'm not even exaggerating, left me a little speechless. It will never not blow my mind that anyone actually cares about anything I've written.
I'll be adding to this every now and then. I just wanted to do this to show my appreciation to everyone who's supported me, it's the greatest feeling in the world. If you're here, if you've ever left comment, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, I love you all so much. 💛
And please, take this as a sign to show support to other amazing creators and authors, comments, reblogs, kudos, it makes a world of a difference. 💛
And, if for whatever reason, you're on this list and don't want to be, just let me know and I'll take it down. 💛
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hotdadlicense · 10 months
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hmmm top 5 shows, top 5 animals aaaaand top 5 scenes from any show/movie
loren please..... i lve you.
top five SHOWS.
the walking dead - ................. like it has to be said. i'm so sorry. it didn't even really go 'bad' for me like it did lose me for a hot minute or two there originally but like. when i rewatched i was like no actually i love it here. i love this hot mess. and i tragically fucking do. could really do with bringing certain characters back etc or just dissappearing some storylines but like. i do fucking love it.
breaking bad - i didnt even KNOW what i was in for i was just like this'll be fine this'll be chill. and then my life changed forever y'know.
it's always sunny in philadelphia - my go-to show to have on in the background, to have on when im sick, to have on when i need a laugh, to have on when im feeling miserable, to have on when i just wanna feel like Myself. can probably quote like. every episode by this point.
black sails - literally don't even need to explain this one. bs is already tumblr critically acclaimed. if i could go back in time and watch the season two last two episodes for the first time all over again, i would in a heartbeat. the girl that existed in my bedroom when watching those eps? never seen her before and i'll never be her again.
911 - listen. it TRULY is tv show of all time. u KNOW this i know you know this. u can't put eddie diaz in a tv show and not have it change the lives of millions.
top fIVE animals.
SHARKS. sharks sharks sharks sharks sharks all types all kinds theyre all my children
foxes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please the fennec fox my BABY
long maned wolf.
dogs!
snakes. also HOW is your snake btw i miss them
top 5 scenes!
lets revisit black sails again and say season two finale as a whole? but also the 'in the light there is discovery' forest speech in the series finale............................i get chills like every time. WAIT ALSO 'my name is John Silver. and i've got a Long Fucking Memory.' INSANE acting also idk if this is really technically 'top five scenes' worthy but uknow that line where flints like 'where else would you wake up in the morning and matter?' @ silver??? yeah it ingrained itself into my brain and now whenever my brains having a bad day and being a bitch, it just repeats that line over and over to myself. again i dont know if that makes it a top five thing but boy oh bOY it sure made an impact !
iasip mac finds his pride when mac does the dance and franks crying and is like 'i get it. i get it now.' maybe its cos i feel like there is just a 00.01% chance of my parents ever accepting me and im projecting or whatever but that scene? every fucking time im like........ crying lol
my brain is one big jumble for the walking dead and i just can't pin down one scene? so i'm just gonna take a cop out and say that part where daryl and merle are in the woods huntin when they split off in s3 or whatever after they reunite and daryls got his crossbow simply becos i still remember watching it with my mum and her being like 'oh look at daryls Arms. he's really got Muscles.' and i was like. scandalised. in a Good way. and now everytime i see him in that scene i'm like justin beiber tweet i love Arm.
that scene in breaking bad where jesses in hospital after hank beats the shit outta him in the rv and walt visits him in hospital and jesse has that breakdown in 3.07? jesse pinkman crying in a hospital bed bruised and beaten saying 'i am not turning down the money, i am turning down you.' when he's yelling 'i have NOTHING. NO ONE.' ??????????????? scene of all scenes. wait also the peek-a-boo kid scene in s2
stuggling to think of a last one uh maybe in the seventh fast and furious movie when see you again plays at the end and they're all on the beach and then dom and brian are racing except you know its not paul walker and u know its CGI or whatever and ???? i still cry over that sorry
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how would bucky react if you were feeling insecure?
A/N: Just finished class so here ya go anon 😉 another headcanon
Warnings: strong language, insecure!reader, fluff, angst
He wouldn’t notice at first
You had been distancing and he thought it might’ve been because you were stressed
You just finished establishing your business and it was booming
He was so proud of you but he didn’t say anything
Not yet
He was planning a party for you with all his friends and your family
So he didn’t know what you were going through
He only noticed it the day before the party
He was buzzing with excitement, typing away on his phone to remind everyone to come and checking off his list
He looked up at you, sitting on the other end of the couch when you didn’t look up from your laptop
“Baby?”
You weren’t typing and neither were you scrolling
Your hands were hovering over the keyboard
“Baby?”
“Hm?”
Your eyes flickered up to him
“Get up. We’re going eating out, remember? At your favourite?”
“Could we cancel?”
Bucky was immediately by your side, knowing you would never say no to your favourite restaurant
He was beyond concerned
He held his hand at your back and rubbed gently, trying to coax out whatever it was
“What’s wrong, baby?”
That’s when the dams broke
You started crying and Bucky started to freak out
His hands were practically useless after he placed the laptop on the coffee table
Then he hugged you
“I’m right here, baby.”
“It’s okay, Y/N.”
“Let it out and then tell me what’s wrong, baby.”
After a few minutes, you stopped crying and pulled away to wipe at your eyes
He passed you a few tissues to wipe your nose
“Wanna tell me what I did?”
He held your hands and you almost broke down again
“I don’t deserve this Bucky. You don’t need me here. You can have someone else so much better. Someone who doesn’t look like me.”
“No.”
There’s a tone in his voice that means you shouldn’t argue with him and it sends a shiver through your spine
“You’re the only one I want, Y/N, and there’s nothing in the world that could change the way I love you.”
You blinked back the tears and shook your head
“Baby, I mean it. There’s no one else in the universe I rather have than you.”
It takes a bit more but you start to believe him
“Why’d you think that, huh, baby?”
You’re a bit scared to tell him why
It’s not fear for yourself or for him
It’s for the person who made you feel like this
“John.”
Bucky clenched his jaw and took deep breaths
Sam and Bucky hate John Walker and, quite frankly, you did too
“I’m gonna kill him.”
“Bucky, no.”
“Bucky, yes.”
“Bucky!”
“Fine… not yet.”
“BUCKY!”
“Okay, okay. But he shouldn’t have said that shit to you. It’s not true and neither is gonna ever be. I can swear it to you.”
He could do that
If the ring he bought a few days ago meant anything
He could swear to you he was planning on making you an honest woman
85 notes · View notes
lizzie-is-here · 2 years
Text
acta, non verba
tfatws- part iv
summary: the matchmakers finally get what they’ve been waiting for.
wordcount: 8.7k
warnings: cussing, violence, paparazzi, harassment, accusations of terrorism, panic attack, finally getting the kiss 😌, immediate fluff, bucky getting aggressively therapized by sam
a/n: sorry this took a bit 😭 literally could not figure out how i wanted the kiss to go so sorry if it’s a little weird. hope u enjoy lol 🤍
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Walker had gone too far. After murdering a foreign national in the middle of town, he ran off, hiding in some abandoned warehouse. Europe seemed to have a lot of those.
You, Bucky, and Sam ran after him, his newly enhanced stamina allowing him to take the lead as your own super-soldier was stuck by you and Sam. When you finally found him, he was crouched on the ground, head hung low as the bloodied shield laid in his lap. A part of you felt bad for him. So much pressure, only to lose the person who kept him in check. It was pity, you supposed.
He popped his neck before walking towards you three, clearly ready for a fight.
“Walker…” Sam began. The blond cut him off.
“You guys should see a medic, you don’t look so good.”
“Stop, Walker.”
Said man took a small loop, adrenaline still pumping through his veins. “What?” he asked. “You saw what happened. You know what I had to do. I killed him because I had to! He killed Lamar!” Your brows knitted together as he became more manic by the second.
“He didn’t kill Lamar, John,” Bucky said. “Don’t go down that road. Believe me, it doesn’t end well.”
“I’m not like you,” Walker spat.
You sighed. “Listen, Walker, you did something wrong. If you admit it, maybe we can get some sort of defense up and you won’t get into too much-”
“I don’t need your help.”
Sam stepped forward. “Listen, she’s right. It was the heat of battle, okay? If you explain what happened, they may consider your record. We don’t want anyone else to get hurt.” A drop of deep red blood rolled off the shield. “John… You gotta give me the shield, man.”
Walker raised his head slowly, eyes flitting between the three of you. “Oh, so that’s what this is. You almost got me.”
“You made a mistake,” Sam said, shaking his head.
“You don’t wanna do this.”
Bucky exchanged a glance with you. “Yeah, we do.”
You all rushed at each other at the same time, tag-teaming the Captain. However, you were at a disadvantage. You three were fighting to incapacitate. Walker was fighting to kill.
Sam went flying back as Bucky and Walker wrestled for the shield, with you grappling at the latter’s shoulders in an attempt to weaken his grip. If you could get the shield away, you would win. But Walker elbowed Bucky in the face and hit him with the shield before raising it up, aiming for the head.
You ran forward, kicking him away before he sent a punch flying into your already sore side. With a wince, you backed away, grabbing a baton. Sam used his wings to buffet him, but Walker was keeping up. He deflected blows from all three of you, dipping below strikes and swinging the shield at every opportunity. His fighting was fluid, circular even.
As he kicked your friends away, you tried your best to keep his focus away from them, landing blows on his shoulders that proved futile. Stupid fucking super-soldier serum. He grabbed the end of the baton, using the momentum to swing you away.
Bucky went against him next, almost winning thanks to his enhanced strength. It almost looked like he would win before Walker’s eyes went wide, swinging around and hurling the shield at Bucky’s chest, sending him flying into a large piece of construction equipment.
Walker ran forward, evidently viewing Barnes as the greatest threat, grabbing the shield and wrestling for it again. Sam was still on the ground, and you were limping from the sharp pain in your ribs.
“Why are you making me do this?” he screamed, throwing the super-soldier across the room. Bucky slammed into a metal pole full of wiring, sparks flying. You inhaled sharply as he fell to the ground, his arm twitching as electricity ran through it. He wasn’t getting up.
You didn’t have time to check on him before Sam began to attack, barely dodging the edge of the shield as Walker lashed out. You watched them fight, gathering your composure before rushing to help Sam. “Catch!” you yelled, tossing up a spare grappling hook. He caught it, attaching it to the shield before flying back. Walker managed to catch himself, pushing himself back as the shield fell in the middle of the two.
As they both hesitated, you ran forward, reaching for the shield as Walker tackled Sam. You scooped it up, turning around in time to watch him rip Sam’s wings off with a scream of, “I am Captain America!”
You ran, leaping up to shove him off Sam with the front of the shield, sending him skidding away. You took a gasping breath as your side continued to ache. “No, Walker, your marbles are long gone.” With a scream, he tackled you backward, taking the shield from you with little effort.
You shielded your face as he raised it above his head, preparing to meet the same fate as the Flag Smasher. Instead, he was tackled off of you, Bucky landing a few blows. You ran forward to help, gasping aloud when Walker slammed the edge of the shield into Bucky’s head and went in to pull what was becoming his signature move. Sam punched him as you shot his neck with a taser, all three of you working to get the damn shield away from him.
With a sickening crunch, his arm snapped with a scream. Sam rolled away with the shield in hand, and you dragged yourself and Bucky away from the deranged man as he stood once again. “It’s mine,” he growled.
Sam stared him down. “It’s over, John.”
“It’s mine.” He threw a punch at Barnes, who reciprocated with a harsh blow before picking him up by the legs and running forward, Sam meeting in the middle to slam the shield against his upper half. They all collapsed, the shield once again rolling against the concrete floor. You rushed over, still limping, as Bucky picked it up, fulfilling the promise he’d made on the plane.
The light filtered in, casting a golden glow across the shield and the man that it had saved twice now. Once in the ‘40s, once in the 21st century, both times from HYDRA. And he dropped it by Sam. You gently rested a hand on his shoulder, to which he nodded to Sam before turning back to you. A silent message was exchanged before you nodded as well, walking side by side and out of the building.
Onto the next fight. The public.
———————————————————————
It was safe to say that neither of you were able to sleep on the plane ride home, even if the jet was piloted by FRIDAY, with no one else on board. You spent a few hours cleaning each others’ wounds and icing bruises before you both changed into a spare set of clothes that were stashed in the closet. The news was all over the mess, not just covering Walker’s attack, but also your defense of the Flag Smasher.
You held an ice pack to your ribs as a news anchor ranted about you.
“Ms. (Y/N) tried to defend a terrorist. I don’t know if we can trust someone like that to help lead the Avengers, I mean, what if she was secretly working with them? Once a traitor, always a-”
“You shouldn’t watch that shit.” Bucky shut off the TV, wincing as he held an ice pack to the side of his head. You stared numbly from your seat.
“They’re all saying the same thing. If they aren’t talking about Walker, they’re talking about me,” you mumbled, fiddling with the remote. “They have a point, y’know?”
He stared at you as if you had just asked him to leap from the jet. “Are you kidding me? You’re letting them get in your head?”
“It’s not getting in my head, it’s reasonable paranoia. Hell, I don’t really trust me either-”
“Are you seriously going back to that again?” he scoffed. You rose from your seat, a frown forming. “What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked.
“It means, ‘When are you going to get it into your head that whatever you did under HYDRA’s control wasn’t your fault’.” His voice was rising with each word. You scowled, shoving a finger at his chest.
“You aren’t any better about it than I am,” you accused, watching as he stumbled for a response. “And besides, it doesn’t matter, The press is gonna see what they want to see.”
“It matters to me! You can’t keep beating yourself up about something you couldn’t control.”
“‘Couldn’t control’? I was a damn volunteer, Bucky! Of course I had control!”
“You didn’t know they were HYDRA, so no, you didn’t have any control. Why is that so hard for you to accept?” he bit stubbornly. “And you did the right thing with Walker. He went crazy from the serum, just like the Red Skull did.”
You crossed your arms defensively, wincing as your arm brushed the massive bruise spreading across your ribcage. “Well, have a fun time explaining that to the public, because as far as they’re convinced, I’m a double-traitor and-”
“Double-traitor for standing up against an unjust law? Are you fucking insane?”
“Me?! You’re the one-“
“Ms. (L/N), Sergeant Barnes, you’re touching down at the airport. Mr. Hogan is in a car outside gate B.”
At the AI’s soft voice, you took a deep and tired breath. “Thanks, FRI. Tell him we’ll be there. Are there any paparazzi inside?”
“Not in the airport. However, once they get word of your return, they’ll likely crowd the Tower.”
You nodded, fatigue weighing heavy on your mind. As the doors opened and you both began to head across the bridge into the bustling airport, you walked in strained silence. The more casual clothes and typical sunglasses-and-hat combo allowed you two to slip through the crowd as random civilians, only flashing your IDs for security. When you found Happy and slipped into the car, you took off the baseball cap and cheap glasses with a sigh.
“Hey, (Y/N),” he greeted, pulling out of the crammed parking lot.
“Hey, Happy. How’s Pep been?” He shrugged.
“Good. She’s been trying to hire some more employees to delegate some of her work to so that she can work four days a week. Wants to spend more time with Morgan now that she’s in kindergarten.”
You make conversation the whole way to Avengers Tower, with Bucky inserting occasional comments. You could feel him glance over at you every so often, but you kept your eyes either in your lap or on the road. As Happy pulled up by the entrance, you groaned at the sight of reporters and paparazzi surrounding the doors.
“You want security?” he asked. You shook your head, thanking him before steeling your nerves. Throwing an air of fake confidence up, you stepped out of the car, head held high and jaw clenched. Bucky followed suit.
And then the questions began.
“Ms. (L/N), why did you defend that Flag Smasher?” one reporter asked, shoving her microphone in your face. You swallowed.
“Well, John Walker was going to kill him for something he didn’t do. I couldn’t just stand by and let-”
“Fucking terrorist!” a voice yelled from the crowd. You flinched but continued.
“Either way, he no longer has the shield, and it’s in safe hands now.” The crowd clamored over each other, one man pushing through the crowd to grab your shoulder. With no security except Bucky’s glares, they were getting far too close.
“Is it true that you two and the Falcon fought Captain America?”
You thought for a moment. “Well, he’s not really Captain America anymore, is he? No way he keeps that title after killing a foreign national in public.”
“Why are you so keen on defending the Flag Smashers?” Someone asked. The crowd was condensing.
You waved your hands. “Well, I’m not defending their actions, it’s just that killing-”
“Are you one of them?” another man demanded. You smiled nervously.
“What? No, I-” They just kept getting closer, practically suffocating you with how tightly packed the crowd was becoming. Questions flew left and right, so quick you couldn’t even hear yourself think. “Please, don’t touch me,” you muttered as people grabbed at your arms, your voice shaking. Your breaths began to quicken as a few of the angrier civilians began to yell at you, defending Walker’s actions.
As one particularly burly man burst from the rest of the crowd, he stormed towards you, shoving a finger in your face and spitting words out so fast your brain couldn’t catch all of them. “You’re… monster… murderer… Captain America… terrorist…” Your mind was running on autopilot as you began to shut down.
“Are you even listening to me, bitch?” You were literally shaken from your stupor when the man grabbed your arms, jostling you. An immediate presence behind you sent the offender scurrying away.
“She said not to fucking touch her!” Bucky yelled over the cacophony of camera flashes and questions. When he glanced back down at you and saw the panic on your face, he gently held a hand out in front of you. “Hei, hei, poți să te întorci la mine, păpușă? Este în regulă să-mi pun brațul în jurul tău? [Hey, hey, can you turn towards me, doll? Is it alright if I put my arm around you?]” You nodded, barely registering his flesh arm carefully curling around your shoulders and leading you towards the doors, parting the crowd with his steely glares.
Once you got inside and in the elevator, the dam broke. All of the frustration and tiredness finally hitting you at full force. Your knees shook as you began to cry, your throat constricting as you gasped for air. “Panic-“ You swallowed hard, vision tunneling from both lack of air and the tears welling up in your eyes. “Panic attack,” you managed to wheeze. Bucky nodded, gently running his hand on your arm. As the elevator doors slid open to the lounge, he helped you stumble out, guiding you along before your knees fully gave out beneath you.
Without his support, you would’ve hit the ground knees-first, but instead, you were guided safely onto the cold tile, Bucky sitting opposite you. For all of the mental health issues he’d had, he wasn’t too sure about what to do when it was someone else breaking down. Well, he couldn’t just let you cry.
He rested a hand on your arm and you sighed in slight relief, relaxing into his touch. Even the slightest touch felt right, and as you both sat in the hallway, your hiccups and sobs began to subside, each breath coming easier. “Te simți bine [Are you okay]?”
“Eu... nu știu [I… I don’t know].” Your lower lip trembled as you remembered the harsh words of the people outside. “Ei au dreptate? Sunt un monstru? [Are they right? Am I a monster?]” You stared at your hands.
“Nu [No],” he whispered. He sounded so sure of himself, so confident that you weren’t what your mind convinced yourself that you were.
“Cum poți fi atât de sigur [How can you be so sure]?”
Bucky shook his head. “How could I not? ‘A monster wouldn’t feel guilty about their actions,’ right? Isn’t that what you said? You feel just as guilty as I did. I know you’d never even think of doing something like that in your right mind. I trust you.” You stared into his eyes, watching the swirling pattern of blue and grey. He raised a hand to your face, gently wiping away the wet streaks of tears that you’d almost managed to forget about.
“Um… Could I maybe- Not if you don’t want to, but-” He took a deep and mildly frustrated breath. “Nevermind. Can I hug you?”
Your laugh was watery but bright nonetheless. “Of course.” His embrace was warm, encompassing you and blocking out everything else. You leaned against him before sitting back.
“You wanna get off the floor?” he asked, gingerly helping you up. You headed into the lounge’s kitchenette, turned on the stove to heat some water, filled up a pot, and set it over the flame. Grabbing the medkit from under the sink, you pulled yourself onto the counter, inhaling harshly through gritted teeth when you irritated the sore spot on your side.
You bunched up your shirt, frowning at the scrapes covering your ribcage. They needed to be cleaned; infection was a pain in the ass.
Bucky took the peroxide and a paper towel from the medkit, pouring some of the liquid onto the towel. “You ready?” You grumbled, already dreading the sting. “Yeah, yeah. Go ahead.”
It was never as bad as you anticipated, but the alcoholic cleaner still sent a shock through your body. You both winced as you gripped the edge of the marble countertop, sighing when he withdrew the stinging cloth.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, soothing the burning skin with his vibranium arm. “I’m sorry, I know it hurts.” The timer you’d set for the water rang out, interrupting the tender moment.
He took the pot from the stove, pouring the scalding water into a mug. He ambled over to the cabinet, taking your jar of teabags from its spot hidden behind one of Tony’s many bottles of alcohol.
He set it next to you. “Chai, right?” You smiled and nodded, watching as he handed you the teabag and grabbed the milk from the fridge and sugar from the cabinet.
“So, um, I…” He blushed, averting his eyes. “Are you alright now?”
You contemplated your answer.
What the crowd outside had said was a manifestation of your fears. That you truly were the monster HYDRA had twisted you into. Although seeing your family one last time via time travel had helped somewhat, you were missing the final push toward recovery.
But when you looked back to Bucky, concern clear on his face, you realized something. He was that push. He made you want to grow and learn and all of the sappy shit that you used to drag Hallmark about.
But instead of voicing the intimate and relatively poetic words in your head, you just blinked dumbly. “Um. Sorry, what?” You both laughed as you stirred the milk and sugar into your tea, sipping it and allowing the warmth to smooth the aches all over your body.
“Are you alright now?” he repeated, watching you carefully. With a sigh, you nodded. You knew you would be okay. You just had to make it over some bumps.
“Will you be?” you countered. He frowned. You waved a hand as you explained. “I know this hasn’t been the easiest on you. With the whole situation in Madripoor.”
“…Yeah. I just hope Zemo doesn’t cause any more problems.”
At the mention of the fugitive Baron, you glanced down at your tea. “I don’t think he will. He finished what he started, and hopefully, he’s content with that.”
You set the mug down and let Bucky help you off of the counter before wrinkling your nose at the disheveled state you were in. “God, I really need a shower.”
“I’m probably gonna get one too. Do you need any help getting to your room?”
“No, I-“ As you began to step away a searing pain shot through your side. “Oh, fuck. Yeah, I might, actually.”
Your earlier suspicions were confirmed as Bucky helped you through the halls and into your bathroom, patiently supporting you every time a movement caused your side to flare up. James Buchanan Barnes was truly the epitome of chivalry, you decided, watching as he stood awkwardly in the middle of your expansive bathroom.
“Do you want me to go? Or…?” He began to inch out of the doorway before you took his hand, smiling reassuringly.
“You don’t have to. If you want, you can sit in here and take a shower after I’m done?” you offered, still giving him the option to leave. But you both knew he didn’t want to.
“Yeah. I’ll… stay in here if that’s okay. Don’t want you to get hurt.”
He stepped out as you stripped your wrinkled clothes and got into the shower, the glass door quickly fogging up. When you gave him the go-ahead, he sat down, resting his head against one of the many drawers on your vanity.
The hot water ran over your skin, washing away the sweat and fatigue from the past days. The scents of your numerous products wafted through the air as you scrubbed shampoo into your hair.
As you were rinsing out the suds, Bucky spoke up from the other side of the glass door. “So, do you wanna talk about our next move?”
“We can talk about it,” you said, wringing your hair out and reaching for the bottle of conditioner.
“Ok.” He stayed silent as you ran the liquid through the ends of your hair. When he finally spoke up, you were in the middle of lathering a loofah. “We’ll need to get in touch with Sam soon. Like it or not, we need him. Karli’s probably planning her next moves.”
You hummed in assent, beginning to work your way through your skincare routine.
“I’m really sorry about all this, I feel like you got dragged into all of it.”
“It’s fine,” you reassured him. “I promise, I’m happy to help.”
“Thanks, I…” He trailed off, falling silent again.
You peeked your head out of the shower. “You good?” His head snapped over before he averted his eyes just as quickly, staring directly into the beaming lights. He immediately winced, squeezing his eyes shut.
“Uhh… yeah. Sure.”
You grabbed your towel, wrapping it around yourself before stepping out. “Well, I’m done. I’m gonna go throw clothes on, just tell me when it’s alright for me to come in.”
When you left the bathroom and shut the door behind you, Bucky took a sigh of relief before attempting to comprehend the events of the last few minutes. Just getting to hold you and provide some sort of comfort to you was getting to him. His heart rate was skyrocketing, and the fact that he’d seen you in nothing but a towel wasn’t helping the situation.
On the other side of the door, you were in a similar state. You were ever-so-slightly flustered as you threw on comfy clothes, stopping by a mirror to tousle your hair as best you could while it dripped water everywhere. One of the hottest men you’d ever seen had been so sweet and gentle after the whole mess outside. And he was in your damn shower.
You silently cheered to yourself as you grabbed a roll of gauze for the scrapes on your side. John Walker had been kind enough to injure you in an awkward spot you couldn’t quite reach, so you’d need help applying the treatment and bandage.
“Can I come in?” you called, effectively scaring the shit out of Bucky, who was trying to figure out the difference between a cleanser and a wash.
“Yeah!” he yelled back.
You slid back into the bathroom as the water turned off and he emerged with a towel wrapped around his waist.
‘Don’t stare, don’t stare, don’t stare,’ you pleaded to yourself, trying to avoid ogling one of your best friends like a total creep. You waved around the gauze and went to rest a hand on the vanity. “Can you help me-“ Just your luck, your hand missed the counter completely and almost sent you sprawling and further injuring yourself.
“Woah, you alright?”
You brushed your hair from your eyes, feeling your face heat up. “Yeah,” you laughed, mentally screaming as you caught sight of your beet-red face in the mirror. “Can you help me with the gauze and the antiseptic cream?”
Bucky obliged, helping you jump up on the counter before gently applying the lotion to your side and wrapping the gauze with precise motions.
“So…” you began, kicking your legs as they dangled. “What were you going to say earlier?” He fumbled the roll of bandages, face turning a similar shade as yours.
“I… I’m not really good with the whole, ‘talking about things’, doll. Figured the lack of progress with the Doc would’ve told you that much.”
You made a face at his negative self-talk. “Don’t put yourself down so much, Jamie. You made some progress with Dr. Raynor even if you don’t realize it.”
He snipped the end of the gauze.
“Fine. I… I really like you, (Y/N). And…” He sighed and grumbled under his breath. “You’re one of the only people where… I feel like… God, why am I so bad with words?”
He made nervous eye contact.
“Fuck it. Can I kiss you?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
When he gently pulled you in, you felt like every bad thought left your mind. All that existed was you, Bucky, and the unreasonably cold tile of your bathroom vanity. As his lips moved against yours, he gently rested a hand on your side, careful not to hurt the newly wrapped injury.
When you pulled away for air, you rested your forehead against his, breaths soft and eyes still closed.
“Holy shit,” he murmured, ghosting a hand along your back. You shivered, opening your eyes to meet his. “That was…”
“Perfect,” you finished. You smiled as he tugged you towards him gently once more, planting a second kiss before enveloping you in a hug.
“I’ve been wanting to do that for forever,” he said into your hair. You nodded.
“Me too. Ever since we dealt with the Accords.”
Reaching a hand up, you pulled his face towards yours, leaning in again. Goddamn, his lips were soft. Curse you and that lip scrub you’d given him a month back.
His hand found its way into your hair, running through it before landing on the small of your back. You shuddered as his other hand began to wander.
“God, Sam’s gonna have a field day,” he grumbled into your mouth. You chuckled, pulling away.
“So will Nat and Steve. Oh, plus Yelena.”
“Wait, were they trying to matchmake with you too?” You nodded.
“They’re insufferable. And yet, they always managed to get all of the details out of me.”
Your phone buzzed on the counter. Sam’s very cursed contact photo (him mid-flight, zoomed in on his face with extremely low picture quality) popped up on your screen.
“Speak of the devil,” Bucky grumbled.
You answered, lifting the phone to your ear. “Hey, Sam.”
“Are you okay? Did you get hurt?”
You frowned. “What?”
“I saw you on TV. They were out of hand, (Y/N). Are you gonna press charges against that guy?” Oh, yeah. You could technically press an assault charge.
You took a deep breath. “I’m alright. I won’t make a fuss about it. Probabaly’ll let it all just blow over.”
“Alright, good to hear you’re okay.” His tone instantly changed upon hearing that you were alright. “So… I saw Buck stood up for you,” he sang. The super-soldier’s eyes widened. You shushed him, a smirk growing on your face.
“Yeah, he did.” You almost snorted out a laugh at Wilson’s annoyed silence when you declined from elaborating.
“(Y/N). (L/N).”
“Ooh, you’re in trouble,” Bucky mouthed to you. You rolled your eyes playfully, swatting at him.
Sam’s voice burst from the phone. “If you two don’t get together by the next time I see you… I swear on my life, I will get Nat and Steve back in on this, and we will lock you in a high-security room until-“
“Yeah, yeah, Sam. Whatever. See you soon,” you laughed, hanging up. You took Bucky’s hands, smiling up at him. “It’s only 8:00, and the paparazzi’s chilled out…”
“Wanna get some shitty pizza before it rains and watch bad TV shows?”
“That sounds perfect, doll.”
———————————————————————
Who knew that feared assassin and American hero Bucky Barnes liked pineapple on pizza? Well, you did. The first time he’d told you all (much to Sam and Clint’s disgust), he’d passed it off as pineapple being a taste he wasn’t used to, seeing as most of the food from the Great Depression consisted of potatoes and even more potatoes.
As you walked down the streets of New York in your pajamas, with you carrying the pizza and him carrying the very pricy bottle of wine you’d bought as a consolation gift for Sam and his vocal chords after the outburst he’d had over the phone, easy conversation passed between you both.
“So why did you buy an expensive bottle if he can’t even tell the difference?” Bucky asked.
You shrugged. “Just because Wilson doesn’t know what good wine tastes like doesn’t mean I can’t educate him.” The Avengers Tower slowly approached as you turned a corner.
A police car blared past, lights flashing and causing you both to slow and wait for the car to pass.
“Force of habit,” you mumbled as you continued your trek.
“They trail me all the time,” he grumbled, gently ghosting a hand over your back as you crossed the bustling street. “Followed me to lunch once. I wasn’t even doing anything suspicious, just keeping Yori from fighting some punk.”
You nodded at the mention of the old man he’d befriended. Although you knew the man was a source of guilt, it was still nice knowing that he’d made a friend. “I’ll have to meet Yori sometime,” you said, offering him an opening.
He took it. “Well, I’d love to take you to lunch. Maybe… After we save the world from certain destruction again?”
You laughed as the doors to the tower swung open for you. “‘The world’ might be an overstatement. ‘The governments of the world’ is a bit more accurate. But yes. I’d like that a lot.”
You both made your way up the elevator, slipping into your room as you asked for FRIDAY to turn on the TV. You grabbed plates for the pizza, set them on the bed, and hopped in, curling up under your blankets.
“C’mon, hop in,” you encouraged, allowing Bucky to slide under the layers of fluff. As you began to eat, a cooking show droned on in the background.
Once you were both done and had put the leftovers away, you could feel the tiredness setting in. Your eyes were drooping and Bucky’s head had dipped multiple times. After a particularly dramatic drop he shook himself awake, reluctantly lifting the covers.
“Well, I… I-“
“You can sleep in here,” you said, holding out a hand as you let the drowsiness take over. He laid back down, unsure of what to do. With your curtains drawn and the TV off, your room was uncharacteristically dark.
“Can I hold you?” he asked softly. He sounded so unsure of himself, as if you could ever say no to him. You wordlessly scooted over, tucking yourself under his arm and resting your head in the crook of his neck. You could feel his body relax as your breathing slowed.
This was the calmest Bucky had been in a while. As you dozed off, he felt himself following, his heart rate slowing as the sounds outside of your window became nothing but ambient noise to the fatigue weighing down his brain.
“Goodnight, (Y/N),” he whispered, barely awake. The quiet, incoherent words you mumbled in return were enough to fully pull him asleep.
And for the first time in months, Bucky Barnes slept peacefully.
———————————————————————
The next few days were, quite frankly, some of the best you could remember. You and Bucky had the tower to yourselves, and with no immediate threat, spent the short break wandering around town. He took you up on the offer of lunch, albeit without his elderly friend, taking you to a restaurant that seemed to be one he frequented quite often.
While he’d been a great friend and teammate, you quickly realized he made an even better date. He somehow managed to sneak a bouquet of flowers in behind your back, presenting them with a nervous smile and an outstretched hand.
You’d grown even more comfortable around each other at a rapid pace, quickly falling into new habits. Good morning kisses, casual hand holding, and hugs that involved you getting lifted completely off the ground were among many others.
One day, you had both visited Peter at school, offering him a break from the nonstop scrutiny and attention by joining him on the roof with his friends Ned and MJ. While he seemed to recognize that something had changed between you and the blue-eyed assassin, he didn’t comment on it, instead ranting about his day and about the countless tabloids he’d found. None of them to his liking.
“They think I lay eggs!” he’d exclaimed, tossing the flimsy magazine into the air. Bucky caught it, flipping through to find the cover story.
“Huh. This is actually pretty interesting,” he’d said, causing you to swat his arm and Peter to groan in misery.
“Why are you here anyway, Mr. Barnes? Not that I don’t appreciate the moral support, but since when did you have extra time to stop by a high school?”
“(Y/N) made me come.” You’d deadpanned at him. “Alright, fine, I came with her by my own choice.” He had frowned at the teen. “You used to call me ‘Sergeant’.”
Peter sat up halfway. “Yeah, that’s when you were scary and looked like a hobo.”
“A hobo?” he’d parroted. You shook your head. “Mi-a plăcut părul tău lung, dragă [I liked your long hair, hon].”
“For what it’s worth,” Ned spoke up, “I think you’re still pretty scary.”
“She’s scarier,” MJ said, not looking up from her book. “Peter told me about the time you went crazy on Tony Stark and Steve Rogers.”
“I didn’t go crazy-“
“You definitely did, Ms. (L/N).”
A day after that, when you’d woken up in Bucky’s arms like you had the past several days, he had a request.
“Can you help me track Zemo? I need to call in a favor from the Dora Milaje. Plus, I don’t want them killing me for letting him go.”
A few satellite scans and a quinjet-ride later, you landed in Sokovia. You glanced down at the tracker on your wrist.
“It says he’s heading towards the memorial; the Dora’s only a little while out,” you mumbled, wrapping your jacket tighter around you. The European fall was setting in. You wondered how Wanda was handling it without electricity.
As the two of you came up on the giant statue of a family, you stopped. The Baron was indeed there. With a gentle squeeze of Bucky’s hand, you nodded, sending him forward to confront Zemo.
Although you were a few paces away, their voices carried around the peaceful area.
“I thought you’d be here sooner,” Zemo said. “Don’t worry. I’ve decided I’m not going to kill you.”
“Imagine my relief,” Bucky quipped, gun firmly in his hand. He clicked it, causing Zemo to look over.
“The girl has been radicalized beyond salvation. I warned Sam, but he didn’t listen to me. He’s as stubborn as Steve Rogers before him. But you… They literally programmed you to kill.”
Your eye twitched, but you stayed firmly in place. This wasn’t your fight.
“James, do what needs to be done. Karli has people everywhere, and there’s only one way to make sure she cannot continue her mission.”
“I appreciate the advice. But we’re gonna do it our own way.” He glanced over to you. Zemo nodded politely in your direction before chuckling softly.
“Yeah. I was afraid you would say that.”
The gun flashed in the sunlight and Bucky raised it to Zemo’s head. The Baron only nodded.
As Bucky pulled the trigger, the gun only let out a click. He lifted his other hand from his pocket, dumping the bullets onto the ground.
Three Dora Milaje guards appeared, surrounding Zemo.
“Ladies,” he greeted, before turning back to Bucky. “I took the liberty of crossing off my name in your book. I hold no grudges for what you thought you had to do.”
He nodded once more. “Goodbye, James. (Y/N).”
Okoye stuck behind as they led Zemo to the Wakandan ship. You approached, greeting her.
“We will take him to the Raft… Where he will live out his days. It would be prudent to make yourself scarce in Wakanda for the time being, White Wolf.”
He nodded. “Fair enough.” Before she left, he called out. “Hey! I may have another favor to ask of you.”
———————————————————————
As you sat in the passenger side of the rental car a few days later, feet up on the dash, you rested your head on Bucky’s arm. The short plane ride from New York City to Delacroix, Louisiana had proved to be brutal, the airport being in the middle of nowhere, with the only options for breakfast being a crowded Cracker Barrel and an equally busy McDonald’s. It was safe to say that you got breakfast at a gas station a while down the road.
You’d driven the first half of the way, the ex-Winter Soldier taking the wheel the second.
“Tired?” he asked. You nodded. “Well, better wake up a bit, doll. We’re almost there.”
You groaned softly. “If you’d just let me buy that Monster at the gas station-“
“I am not fueling your addiction,” he said decisively.
“Fine. So, do you wanna tell Sam or keep it from him?” you asked, pulling down the mirror to rub away the tiredness from your eyes.
“Hmm. It would be fun to get him back for all of the nagging he did. But… I kinda wanna bother him by doing stuff like-“ He leaned over, pecking your lips. “-that.”
You laughed as your stomach fluttered. “You’re a little shit.”
“You like it,” he countered, pulling up to the dock. He parked the car a ways away, sneaking past people and weaving between cars. You followed, laughing under your breath as he tugged you along and ducked under boxes.
“How do we get it off the truck?” You heard Sam ask, Bucky finally letting go of your hand to effortlessly lift a massive box off of a truck. You had to fan yourself, even in the mid-fall chill.
“You’re welcome,” he said, before sliding the silver Wakandan case onto the truck. “Just dropping this off. You can sign for it and I’ll go. I called in a favor from the Wakandans.”
A pipe hissing on the boat behind him caught your attention. A woman ran up.
“Sam!” she yelled, stopping in her tracks when she saw you and Bucky. You stepped out from behind the truck and Sam raced over to the pipe.
“Hi,” you chirped, waving as you ran past to help. Sam tried to tighten the bolt to no avail before Bucky intervened.
“Hold on. Hold on. You gotta go up,” he chastised, sealing the bolt. And he was a mechanic, you screamed to yourself after watching him use one tool. Maybe you were just a little bit smitten.
“Why didn’t you use the metal arm?” Sam asked.
“Well… I don’t always think of it immediately. I’m right-handed.” He eyed the worn-down boat. “So, this is the boat, huh?”
“This is it.”
“It’s nice,” you offered. “Want any help?”
———————————————————————
This boat was no joke. Somewhere along the line, you shed the sweatshirt you wore in favor of a tank top you’d stuffed in the car, tying your hair back before helping wherever you could.
There were boards to be sanded, paint to be retouched, and dozens of mechanisms below deck to be fixed. Knowing your affinity for tech, you took the last job.
You fiddled with wires after you scanned the engine, allowing FRIDAY to give suggestions. Every now and then, Sam would try the engine, only for it to stall.
At one point, you came up for a break, only to see Bucky flipping a tool, stabbing air experimentally. You walked over, picking up one that had been discarded on the floor.
“This one would be much better for stabbing,” you commented, pointing at the sharp edge.
“Stop doing assassin shit and try the engine again,” Sam yelled. You obliged, racing back over.
A few hours later, the sun was setting and the boys were dumping buckets of water from the boat.
“Think Karli’s gonna throw in the towel?” Bucky asked.
Sam shook his head. “I think she’s gonna double down.”
“Any idea how to stop her?”
“I got Joaquin working on something.”
“Oh, that kid?” you asked from below deck, fiddling with the engine. Sam jumped at your interruption.
“Yeah, the kid.”
“Well, Zemo says there’s only one way,” the super-soldier continued. You came up from the short ladder, wiping your brow and sighing in relief when the fresh air hit your skin. Sam and Bucky both grabbed beers, offering you one that you declined, instead opting to sit on the ground as you all took a break.
“Well…” Bucky said, sipping the drink. “Gotta catch our flight tomorrow. Get a hotel room for the night. Crash, you know?” You groaned, anticipating the suspicious hotel breakfast.
Sam chuckled. “You’re just gonna set me up like that, huh?”
“We don’t wanna make it weird for your family,” you said.
“Just stay here,” he insisted. “The people in this town are the most welcoming people in the world. They don’t care if you wear small t-shirts or if you have six toes or if your mom’s your aunt.” You silently deduced how that would work, eyes slowly narrowing as you traced the hypothetical genealogy. “Don’t think about it too much,” he said.
“Okay, I get it,” Bucky said. “I mean, you know, the people are nice.”
“Are you sure? We’d hate to bother you,” you said, giving him an out. He nodded, standing and heading to his car.
“Follow me, okay? The house isn’t far from here.” You saluted him, jumping back into the passenger seat. You rubbed your shoulders, sore from the constant work.
Bucky followed Sam dutifully, the setting sun casting a rosy haze across the trees and filtering into the car. Silently, he reached over, taking your hand. You smiled as Sam pulled up in front of a house where two boys played outside. His nephews.
You hopped out of the car and went to the back, popping the trunk and grabbing your duffel bag. You waved to the kids as Sam led you both inside, where Sarah was organizing the kitchen. The sun had fully set, the light slowly dimming as the temperature dropped steadily.
It took a lot of convincing for either of the Wilson siblings to allow you and Bucky to sleep on the couch, but you both assured them that you’d slept in far worse places. Hell, even when the super-soldier had his own apartment, he still would sleep on the hardwood floor. Nonetheless, Sarah insisted on putting a soft sheet over the couch.
Sam had thrown you a look when you and Bucky decided to share the couch, with you only offering a shrug. He’d figure it out.
The boys, AJ and Cass, went to bed not long after, Sarah following soon after for an early morning. You three stayed up for a bit longer discussing some of your suspicions about Karli before Sam called it a night too.
You sighed, stretching your arms. Barnes flopped unceremoniously onto the couch, laying flat and lifting the blanket for you. You padded around the dim room, careful not to bump into anything in the unfamiliar surroundings.
“How is this gonna work?” you hissed quietly, gesturing to the couch that was not meant for two people to sleep on, especially not when one of them was a super-soldier.
“Come here,” he whispered back. “It’s gonna work like this.” You laid down on top of him, sighing as he tugged the blanket up. His arm circled your waist to keep you from sliding off the couch. “That alright?”
“Yeah.” You relaxed further, practically melting. “It’s perfect.”
———————————————————————
You were woken by whooshing noises. Curling further into the warmth you were encased in, the chest you were laying on jumped slightly. Your eyes opened to meet Bucky’s, confused as to where the sounds were coming from.
Looking over, you saw the two boys messing with the shield and play-fighting.
“Hey,” Bucky greeted, waving. They gasped, hurriedly putting the shield back before racing off. You laughed, watching them disappear around a corner.
“I think you intimidated them,” you chuckled. He turned back to you, pulling you in for a soft kiss.
“Good morning to you, too,” he mumbled, voice quiet from the early hour. You fiddled with his dog tags, gently turning them over to memorize every detail. He stayed silent for a moment, listening for footsteps. “Sam’s probably already at the boat. Wanna head out?”
———————————————————————
Just as Bucky predicted, Sam was working on the boat when you arrived, absorbed in the engine. You both descended, the single light casting a yellow hue over the mechanism. The ex-Soldier began to give advice as the Falcon gave instructions, with you making occasional comments.
Not long after, you all managed to pull the water pump up, getting a better look at it in the sunlight.
Sam eyed the disassembled tech. “Okay, so-”
“Excuse me. No!”
Sam ignored his sister. “There should be a three-sixteenths bolt that goes in that big gear.”
“Nope,” Bucky said without checking it. You waved as Sarah approached. She smiled at you before glaring at Sam.
“Uh-uh. No. No.”
“You didn’t even look,” Sam protested.
“I didn’t have to.”
“I told you specifically that the water pump was not the problem, and yet, here you are,” she said, raising a brow.
“Yeah, Samuel,” you added.
“In our defense,” he said, throwing a glare at you, “We were supposed to be done long before you woke up.”
“I don’t come up to the sky and tell you how to barrel roll, so don’t come down here and mess around with things you don’t understand.”
“Wow. Wow,” Sam mumbled.
Sarah wasn’t having it. “Bye. Off,” she said, shooing you all away. “Thank you. Appreciate you. I love you, bro.”
“She’s a very mean person,” Sam grumbled as you three walked away.
“It’s tough love,” Bucky corrected, patting his back.
“No. If you two did what I told you to do, we would have been done before any of this took place.”
They bickered back and forth, walking along as you listened to Sam ramble. Bucky took your hand, neither of you even thinking twice about the action until Sam’s eyes widened.
“What- what is that?” he questioned. You and Bucky exchanged a glance.
“What is what?” you asked, still holding hands.
“That!”
Barnes smirked. “What? I thought you said that if we weren’t together by the next time you saw us, you’d, ‘lock us in a high-security room together’.”
Sam gaped. “Are you shitting me? I feel like this is some elaborate prank-”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” you sighed, grabbing Bucky’s shirt and tugging him down to kiss him, effectively proving your point and causing Sam to grab for his phone. He snapped a picture that was blurry at best, sending it to a groupchat labeled, “(Y/N) x Barnes Matchmaking Squad” that consisted of him, Nat, Steve, and as of recently, Yelena, Peter, and Shuri.
“You two are idiots,” he groaned as you all continued to make your way back to the house. The walk was peaceful, just long enough to give you a break before you were back to discussing the mission. Starting with teaching Sam how to throw the shield.
He had the strength, you admitted to yourself as he embedded it in a tree. But there was more to it. He was afraid of it, ducking every time it bounced back to him and giving it an almost excessive amount of cushion when he caught it.
“Feels weird,” he said. “Picking it up again.” He tossed it, watching as it ricocheted towards Bucky, who caught it with little effort. “The legacy of that shield is… complicated, to say the least.”
Bucky nodded. “When Steve told me he was planning on retiring it to you, I don’t think either of us really understood what it felt like for a Black man to be handed the shield. How could we? I owe you an apology.” You grinned. This was going far better than the session with Dr. Raynor. He handed off the shield. “I’m sorry.”
“Thank you.”
“Whatever happened with Walker, it wasn’t your fault,” he continued. “I get it. It’s just… now that Steve’s off the grid for a while… that shield’s the closest thing I’ve got left to a family, so when you retired it, it made me feel like I had nothing left. Made me question everything. You, Steve, me.”
You rested a hand on his shoulder. “Well, it’s good that you’re wrong then. You’ve got family. They’re just a bit fucked up right now.”
“A little?” Sam asked.
“You know I’ve got his, uh… I’ve got his book,” Bucky said, lifting the small notebook from his pocket. “And, uh… I just figured if it worked for him, then it’d work for me.” He took a shaky breath.
“I understand, man,” Sam nodded. “But you and Steve aren’t the same. And this might be a surprise, but it doesn’t matter what Steve thinks. Don’t get me wrong, he’s great, but…”
“You shouldn’t define yourself by what people think of you,” you finished. Sam threw the shield, catching it with more assuredness.
“You gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are.” He threw it again, allowing Bucky to catch it. “Let me ask you. You still having those nightmares?”
“I was,” he admitted. “It meant I remembered. It meant a part of me was still there. Which meant a part of the Winter Soldier’s still in me.” He threw the shield, continuing their therapeutic game of catch. “But now…” he glanced at you. “I haven’t had any in over a week.”
Sam smiled, a bold contrast to his frustrated matchmaking attempts. “You up for a little tough love?” he asked. “You wanna climb out of that hell you’re in, do the work. For the people you care about, if you won’t do it for yourself.”
“I’ve been making amends,” Bucky began.
“Nah. You weren’t amending, you were avenging. You were stopping all the wrongdoers you enabled as the Winter Soldier, because you thought it would bring you closure. You go to these people and say ‘sorry,’ because you think it’ll make you feel better, right? But you gotta make them feel better. You gotta go to them, and be of service. I’m sure there’s at least one person in that book who needs closure about something, and you’re the only person who can give it to ‘em.”
The Sergeant shook his head. “Probably a dozen.”
“That’s cool. Start with one.”
“Good talk,” Bucky admitted. You chuckled, allowing them to have an awkward bro-hug before you hugged Sam goodbye.
“You know Karli won’t quit,” he warned both of you.
“Call us when you have a lead, we’ll be there,” you promised.
Bucky picked up your bags. “Not necessarily as a team,” he added. “We’re not that good.”
“Definitely not,” Sam agreed.
“We’re professionals.”
“Definitely.”
“And, uh, we’re partners.”
“Co-workers.”
“But we’re also a couple of guys with a mutual friend.”
“Friend’s out of the equation.”
“So we’re a couple of guys with a different mutual friend.” Bucky pointed at you.
You rolled your eyes. “You’re a couple of idiots, sure.” They shrugged.
“I can live with that.”
Sam thanked the both of you, giving you one last smile before you parted ways. You headed to the car, climbing into the driver’s side as Bucky threw the bags in the back.
“You good? Sam doesn’t pull punches when it comes to therapizing people,” you said, starting the car and pulling away from Sarah’s house. He nodded, thinking about his advice.
“Got some work to do.”
bonus meme!
bucky and reader to each other:
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Hi there 😀! I'd like to request a Bucky drabble, but all I'm gonna give you is 5 words (technically 6): Rogers!Reader, Assassin, Madripoor, Staring, Fear.
Oh AHHH YESS OKAY! this is set during that episode during FATWS
warning: crying, sadness, angst
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2 weeks ago you never thought you would be here: in Madipoor with Bucky, Sam, and the man who made Bucky's life a living hell for a bit.
Being the daughter of Steve Rogers was something you didn't expect to happen. You met when you were 12, when he rescued you from hydra. They were training you to be the next Black Widow Assassin. The Avengers took you in, with Steve taking on a parental role in your life. he adopted you at 16. 
When he went back in time to Peggy it broke you, but your rocks were Bucky and Sam. You were 23 now, and an official avenger. You joined the adventure at the same time as Bucky; when it was announced that John Walker was the new Captain America. But your feeling about that doesn't matter now, you were on a mission.
Walking through the nightclub next to the Winter Soldier and Smiling Tiger, you playing the role of Black Swan. The worst part about this whole situation though was watching Bucky play the person he is trying to get away from. You had feelings for bucky, no matter how hard you tried to push them away. he was there for you during Steve's departure. You were there for each other. You loved him with all your heart and you didn't want him to leave your life.
The nightclub was electric and you felt the stares from the others as they saw the winter soldier walking in. You were creeped out and just wanted the night to be over as soon as possible. you all headed to the bar and got the drinks your persona would normally get. You saw a man approach your group, he gazes staring directly at bucks before glancing at you. He took a step in your direction and Zemo said “Winter Soldier, Attack” and all hell broke loose. 
You watched in fear as the man you loved went on a rampage and hurt all of those people. But you had to stay in character as it happened, even though every inch of you wanted to go over and take him off those and hug him until the world faded away. 
Zemo soon told him to stand down and you saw Bucky relax. You and sam shared glances at each other, both worried about the impact this would have on Bucky. “are you alright?” sam asked, putting his hand on bucky's shoulder. Bucky turned to the two of you and gave you a small nod. 
TIME SKIP
After the night's fun adventure, you and bucky finally had a chance to catch some sleep. You two often shared beds, especially after missions or when one was having a bad day. you both made your way into the guest room and got ready for bed. soon you were worth both under the cover as bucky pulled you close to him. you were both quiet. you took Bucky's vibranium arm and started to play with the fingers and trace the lines on the arm, a telltale sign that you wanted to talk or you had something on your mind. 
“doll?” he asked as he pushed some hair out your face.
“hmm?” you said, still not looking at him. “wanna tell me what going on in that pretty mind of yours?” he said and he turn your chin so you had to face him. you had tears in your eyes as you looked at him. you wrapped your hands around his neck as you sobbed into his chest. Bucky rubbed your back as you let out all your emotions. once your sobs died down, he slowly sat you both up. it was silent for a moment before she decided to speak. 
“I'm scared to lose you,” you said, as you held onto him tighter. 
“y/n, I'm not going anywhere. you won't lose me, I promise. what made you think of that.” he said as he rubbed your arm.
“I just lost steve, one of the most important people in my life. and you were there for me through it all. Watching you tonight, I know you were just playing the role, but it made me think of what would happen if you went back to the soldier again. You wouldn’t be this man who I lo-love having in my life.” you said, hoping he didn't catch the slip up you made. he took a deep breath before looking at you.
“I love you doll,” he said as he took your hand and squeezed it. you look at him as he said that. “and you know the words are out of me. But we don't have control over everything in life, but I promise I will do everything I can to ensure that will never happen.” those words were a promise, you could tell by the look in his eyes. those eyes that you have grown to love. you continued to look at them as you soon realized you leaned closer to each other until your lips slowly touched and the world went away. 
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ldouble · 1 year
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I’d Rather Walk | Bucky Barnes x reader
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summary: after an unsuccessful mission, you find yourself walking with Sam and Bucky. An interruption in disguise as a ride irks you the most. Only Bucky seems to notice.
-
Your feet hurt. You wouldn’t have noticed if your ego wasn’t so bruised. But a failed mission, really an ass whooping like that, left little to think about other than how much your feet hurt.
The road seemed endless but you pushed on. It helped that Bucky and Sam were a few paces behind. They couldn’t see you racking your brain for answers. If they knew how much this was getting to you they would think you cared. And while you did, they couldn’t know that. This was a one and done mission. A favor to Bucky.
“I’m sorry about redwing.”
You smiled at Bucky’s voice before quickly wiping it off your face. It had been quiet for what was surely miles. It was nice to hear someone talk. Remind you that you weren’t alone.
“No you’re not.”
“Yes, he is.” You said, not turning around.
There’s a pause from Sam and a light chuckle from the soldier behind you. It shocks you but you pretend it doesn’t. It had been a while since you heard that. You’re not sure if the chuckle is because the thought of you defending him was impossible or because Sam was right to believe the insincerity. Either way, it’s nice to hear his laugh.
“What’s going on in that big cyborg brain of yours?”
“It’s computing.”
It was your turn to scoff.
It didn’t stop as Sam continued to tease. Alluding to a malfunction got you to throw a look over your shoulder just in time to throw Bucky a smile as he was tormented.
“We gotta figure out where the serum’s coming from.” Bucky looked out onto the fields, his walk becoming more determined.
“Yeah and how in the hell after 80 years there are eight super soldiers just running loose.” You added with a faux raised hand.
Sam didn’t get a chance to add on to the “what to do” list as a car horn nearly interrupted you.
Instead, you heard an awful joke from an even more awful person.
“No shit.” You whispered to yourself. You didn’t have to look back to know your partners were still trudging forward. It was one thing to accept defeat and a whole other to accept a ride from some posers.
The squeak of the car caused your muscles to tense. “And we’re pretty sure it’s one of the big three.” John Walker continued.
“There’s no such thing as wizards.” You beat Bucky to the punch, shooting a glare at the truck. It was a few feet behind you, focusing on Sam and Bucky. Oh that was rich, having all the men lead the conversation. “All right then it’s aliens or androids.”
You rolled your eyes at Sam being questioned about super soldiers. The guy who was doubting freaking worked with one. Not a real one, but a fake at least. Besides, you and Bucky were there as living proof.
“That’s not happening.” You hoped your dismay over the offer for a ride was translated. If they thought super soldiers being the enemy was a shocker...well you didn’t wanna be covered by them at the next battle.
A proud smile found your lips when Bucky finally said what we were all thinking. He might have the shield but he’s not Captain America. He’s not Steve.
“The work?” You scoffed again, shaking your head. What could he do to prove his status that wasn’t - oh I don’t know, winning World War II, being stuck in ice for 70 years and creating the Avengers that would save Earth multiple times?
I had never met the guy - not officially - but Steve Rogers was the only Captain America.
“You ever jump on top of a grenade?”
Really? That’s all Bucky could think of to compare?
Walker didn’t help his case as he said it was for his helmet.
You couldn’t help the ache at his mention of how far the airport was. 20 miles. It really would be endless.
Still, you didn’t stop as you heard the truck come to a stop. The only falter in your step was due to the stopping on Bucky and Sam’s part. You willed yourself not to look back, instead focusing on how much your feet hurt.
“Is she serious?” You heard Walker mumble.
You turned around, ready to say you weren’t some she and that you had a name. A name he knew and could say.
Bucky reminded him of what you went by, whispering it across the road. The two of you had a silent conversation.
You really didn’t want to get a ride from them.
Neither did Bucky.
Really? From them?
It’s a free ride.
You know it’s more than that.
Just get in the truck, doll.
Your eyes shot to Sam who seemed to be on the exact same page. You were outnumbered 2 to 1. Rightfully so. This wasn’t what we would have of dinner. This was if our legs would give out on us.
You followed behind Sam into the trunk. A hand extended out to you - one clad in a blue glove. But the man within it was not someone you trusted.
Before you could make a snarky comment on how his hands hadn’t done a pinky’s worth of work as Steve did in his first day as Captain America, Bucky placed his hands on your hips and guided you up.
You didn’t have time to question the physical touch, sitting in a huff. Moments like this had happened ever since he showed up at your place a few days ago. Still, it couldn’t make up for lost time.
The door slammed shut and you thanked whatever universe there was that you looked in between the two strangers rather than make eye contact like Sam and Bucky had to. It would’ve been a longer 20 miles staring at John Walker than it would’ve been on foot.
His kindness was deceiving. It was an act. And you didn’t like acts. Not with your history.
The first few hundred feet were silent. It isn’t until John Walker decided to use the ride as a brainstorming session.
You listened intently as Sam suggests the best out of the team you just faced. Their “help” sure hurt like hell. But even you saw something in their eyes. And it wasn’t that of a killer.
“They got a funny way of showing it.” You glanced at Bucky, taking in his words. You’d both had gone soft - him taking the high road without a comment and you thinking the best of people who tried to hurt you. He clearly had spent too much time with this crowd and me....having spent not enough time.
Your head snapped back at Walker’s comment about the serum’s poor track record. You felt Bucky’s hand on your back. He’d gotten good at the comments. You hadn’t. Then again...no one knew you had gone through a similar life as Bucky.
You gave him a look, trying to convey the confusion on how he was taking all of this in stride.
“We didn’t track them we tracked you, uh, through red wing.”
You and Bucky both bit your respective lips. He detested the thing more than you did but the gadget being what caught us was pretty funny.
“You hacked my tech?” Sam questioned. His tone of anger transferred to you. Supposedly our “team members” were tracking us.
Your eyes bulged at the statement that red wing was government property. For one, it’s Sam’s. And two, it would’ve classified as Sam’s sidekick if the three of us didn’t get together. Even you found it disrespectful to call it property.
You tilt your head in curiosity, taking in the man before you. The supposedly new Captain America is hard to get a grasp on. He’s exuding confidence but lacks the support of it. Something is off.
“Does she always just stare like that?”
His question registered and so did Bucky and Sam turning to look at you.
“You get used to it.” You heard them say in unison.
Your focus didn’t shift as the two begin to talk about the GRC.
Your glare alters only to smile at your feet at Sam’s quick whip in regards to their privilege. The truck seems uneven with you three on one side and the two across. And not just because you outnumber them. Something tells you the “we’ve got this under control” act was a lesson in the Captain America: How To book.
Bucky beats you to declining their offer to team up.
“Who are you?”
It’s the first thing you've said since the car started moving. You liked to stay quiet but you weren’t gonna sit around and listen to them talk about getting your asses kicked. That was a realization you had to come to yourself. You sure as hell didn’t need anyone else reminding you.
You wait for an answer from whoever the guy is, your eyebrow raised expectantly. 
“Lamar Hoskins.”
“I see a guy hanging out of a helicopter in tactical gear I need a lot more than Lamar Hoskins.” Sam voiced the obvious.
“I’m Battlestar.”
His name, if you can call it that, is barely repeated by Bucky before you yell for the car to be stopped.
You stand, make a 180 spin, set a foot on the bench you just sat on, and jump from the car.
Your name is called but you ignore it. It’s when footsteps follow yours that you acknowledge all that’s not being unsaid.
“Nicknames?” You stare at Bucky ion disbelief. “Look I can take a ride and I can toss some ideas back and forth but I don��t work with superheroes.”
“Hey-”
“And I know damn well you don’t either.”
You didn’t mean to push him but it happened involuntarily. The anger got the best of you and you shoved his chest as far as you could. He didn’t even falter, his strength more than yours - mentally and physically.
He’d had years to get into this. To understand all the hero work. You’d been pulled from your quiet life as a soldier without orders. For him to expect you to sit around and listen to this was ridiculous.
You took a deep breath, stalking off the road to gather your thoughts. So much had happened and you’d had no time to wrap your head around it.
“I don’t.” He explained. The sound of the car driving off interrupted him. “You left before I could tell them that.”
“I think you entertained them longer than necessary.” Your arms crossed defensively before you shook out your hands. You looked at him, searching for answers. For understanding. Years apart meant nothing in the last few days. His face was familiar but his actions unrecognizable.
“I’m gonna agree with her on this one.” Sam said from behind Bucky.
“Really?”
“Really.” You answered Bucky’s offended question.
He found your eyes and huffed.
“They don’t get it, what we’ve got. What we’re up against.”
“I-”
“We got a different dosage than Steve.” Your words cut him off. You’d met him a few times, unofficially, but it was the first time you mentioned the original Avenger aloud. “And we sure as hell got a whole other thing than whatever that moron got.” You pointed towards the disappeared truck as if that would make your point sound any better. It didn’t.
“We’re up against something serious. It’s not just you anymore. It’s not just me. And it’s not just what Steve was-”
“I know.” Bucky said curtly, staring at the ground.
You give him a second to take it all in, his realization a few beats behind from your outburst in the vehicle. To quote the audience watching you, the gears were turning in Bucky’s head. Sadly it had been too long of time apart to know what was going on up there. Cut from the same cloth, you once knew it all. But at this moment, really since you’d reunited with him a few days ago, you didn’t really know the guy in front of you.
Your relationship ebbed and flowed. There were no good ol’ days to go back to, not where you worked like this. You had been in a relationship not coworkers back then. Now...there was too much space.
So you decided to double it.
“We’re not all this nice, Sam.” You looked past Bucky, giving your best smile. “But if you’re as sore as I am and if those assholes are right, you know that already.”
Sam paused, waiting for a signal from Bucky that it was ok to laugh. A breath from the soldier seemed to be enough as Sam replied, “I hate to say it but they were right.”
“We got our asses handed to us.” Bucky finished, running his metal hand through his hair.
All these years and his nervous habit hadn’t changed.
Deep down, maybe he was still there.
Maybe what you two had was still there.
“Then we better know who we’re working with.” You declared, regaining your composure. You hadn’t lost it but you had gone off the trail...literally and figuratively. “That way to the airport?”
“Roughly ten miles to go.” Sam answered, already heading in that direction. You questioned why he didn’t wait up but a hand around your wrist made it clear.
“I wanted out.”
You looked up at your old partner, trying to understand what he was talking about. If it was this line of work you were ready to question him. He had the same chance as you to run and he didn’t. He stayed and he followed orders. Instead of following you.
“Of the car.” Blue eyes blinked at you as his grasp loosened. “You beat me to it.”
You gave him a small smile, wanting to get back to where they originally were when on the road. Friendly. If that could happen. At least nice enough to have these conversation with eye sight. Sam was a way’s away but you still felt embarrassed as you two stood and talked.
He seemed to be saying something then as his eyes grew soft. They darted all around your face as if he was thinking the same thing.
Let’s go back to the days that we only have to share a look.
A glance.
A wink.
A kiss.
You gulp, holding eye contact while totally seeing his eyes find your lips.
If he doesn’t let up soon, you’re going to fall right back to where you were. Which only left you alone.
At least now you had him. Not completely, but close enough.
And you couldn’t go back to the day where he wasn’t right next to you. You’d have that after this. Whatever this and they were.
“You got into this before me.” Your feet led you back a step, his hand fell to his side. “And I’m making a point to get out of it first.”
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