#would i date a trans woman

[gay-otlc]

The people who think gay trans man have straight privilege because they have the "option" to "escape" homophobia and live as straight women are blatantly disregarding the fact that for a lot of trans people, the options aren't "gay trans man" or "cis straight woman." It's "gay trans man" or "dead."

#this post was inspired by my friend (mostly stealth trans man) who has dealt with a lot of homophobia from his bf's parents #and transphobes might make the argument that the homophobia he faced doesn't count because he could have just lived as a woman #and then dated his bf more safely #but i genuinely don't think he would be alive right now if he hadn't been able to transition #so yeah. just being a woman to escape homphobia isn't really an option for a lot of trans men #transandrophobia #apologies if this is not my place to speak about as a straight trans man. i was just having thoughts and wanted to share

[gender-critical-analytical]

my friend: she and her wife-

me: :)

my friend: her wife is trans btw!

me: :/

#they got married as a straight couple and he decided to transition afterwards #my friend would be such good terf material I just have to peak her #she was telling me how she's been called transphobic for saying she would date a trans woman but couldn't have sex with one #because she doesn't like penis #and homegirl flinched when she told me as if I (the girl who was viciously annoyed when her friend they/themed me) #was going to call her transphobic #I think I can get to her you guys I really think I can

[marzipanandminutiae]

Are you in search of a fair maiden with whom to share a tender embrace?

yes

#ask #anon #ask meme #ask game #yes or no asks #inthe gentlest way possible: please note 'maiden' above. or 'woman' or 'lady' or 'heroINE'. I am only into women #enbies are often DELIGHTFUL people! but unless you're REALLY far on the Woman end of the gender spectrum #like 'cool with being she/her and girlfriend and wife and ladylove and all that' #I am not for you dating-wise #I know one can be an NB woman but I feel like dating me would be invalidating for 99% of even those people #(some people in the past have interpreted this as 'cis women only' which is distressing to me because like. trans women are not somehow NB?

[vamptastic]

Idk it's weird because when discussing discrimination against trans men specifically, people tend to bring up like... being told men are gross or that you're betraying the feminist cause or something. And while those are shitty and mean-spirited things to say to somebody, what I would actually identify as a kind of specific systemic form of discrimination is the exclusion of transgender men from studies and surveys, and the relative ease with which people simply forget that we exist. Erasure, basically. Which honestly, seemed to be discussed more before the advent of whatever the current movement around trans men's struggles is called now, because there wasn't a metric fuckload of incomprehensible discourse surrounding it.

Most other things that seem to come up, while very real and very shitty, are not unique to us per se, though I do feel we are often left out of the conversation because it's assumed that they won't apply to us (ex domestic violence, fear of sexual assault, fear of being seen as a predator, accusation of transitioning for fetishistic purposes, assumption that we are transitioning to escape being gay, being denied access to fertility procedures without detransitioning, on and on and on). Which is also annoying.

I just find myself irritated by the current movement around trans men's experiences because there's some really pervasive problems in there that I do feel are systemic and underaddressed, mixed in with some stuff that's a problem but better addressed by putting one's energy into existing movements, mixed in with bonkers intercommunity drama that only matters if you're only friends with other queer people in an accepting area.

#if you find this stance objectionable PLEASE message me and don't block or silently seethe at me. please. #because i genuinely find this interesting and i think it's a shame that it seemed to devolve into pointless infighting so fast #like i would love it if somebody wrote an up to date book about feminism and trans men because of this. or at least made a good reading list #my investment in this is primarily because i am A. a feminist B. often perceived as a woman and C. a trans man myself #and i feel that there is a profound difference between how i experience misogyny and how cis female friends do #and has been pretty much since i got old enough for my peers to consciously express sexism #and i would very much like it if somebody smarter than me put that into words #like to be clear there's not really a ' side ' i would pick on this #other than like transmisogyny is a huge problem and most people are unwittingly transmisogynistic #and that trans men deal with a lot of bullshit wrt other people's baggage about maleness and are largely invisibles to many cis people

[stemmefemme]

I'm already a little worried that SNW fans are going to hc Erica Ortegas as transmasc/nonbinary en masse, and this is not to say that Trek shouldn't have transmasc or nonbinary rep, I just think it's time butch women, especially butch women of color got rep in a character that wasn't stereotypical or boring. I already love Erica Ortegas and I will die on the hill that she's a butch lesbian

#star trek #star trek strange new worlds #snw #star trek snw #erica ortegas #lt ortegas #|| first date or third date #obviously this is just my opinion and I'm not going to police anyone's hcs #I just really want people to consider what they're doing when they hc any masc woman as trans #butch lesbians aren't transmascs that haven't realized it yet #also I would DIE for a healthy butch/femme dynamic but that's just me

[epicdogymoment]

once again rubbed the wrong way by friends who unintentionally reveal that they dont really engage with my masculinity in any real way and see me as nonbinary (female-lite)

#leologisms #...................i need more trans friends. in real life #its so frustrating. your gay friends knowing youre transgender but still being able to tell that yeah. they really do just see you as #female-lite. and pushing back by overcorrecting the other way. but im NOT a trans man! and im not a woman either! and the label #nonbinary doesnt fit me even if other people might understand my identity best as under that label. im just transgender. none of #your business. but hearing people say 'well thats why you dont date men' and 'ugh i hate men' etc while i KNOW what they mean #the fact that theyre ok just saying that around me. TO me. a bisexual transgender. feels so bad. #not only am i not masculine in their eyes theyre also telling me that to them masculinity is inherently. dirty. dangerous. but thank god IM #not like that right? hahaha!!!!! thank god i would never be attracted to masculinity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #.........god. anyway. the thing that prompted this happened a few days ago now and it was just a throwaway comment #but my awful brain loves latching onto those. so whatever.

[babymagi]

Sharrkan: Hey, Sin, do you think you would ever date a trans woman? Sinbad: ...Sharrkan, I'm trans Pisti: HE'S DODGING THE QUESTION

#ftm trans sinbad real #also love mtf versions though #any version where sin is trans is an automatic slay #he would absolutely date/sleep with a trans woman btw #bc i said so #magi #magi labyrinth of magic #magi kingdom of magic #magi adventures of sinbad #sinbad no bouken #magi incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #sinbad #sharrkan amun ra #pisti artemyra #sinbad magi #sharrkan magi #pisti magi #transgender

[astererer]

5, 9, 11, 28, 33, 34, 48, and 56 for Cleo and Kaz? (I love them i need more of them)

Ask meme here

under the cut for length!!

5. Can they cry on command? If so, what do they think about to make it happen?

Cleo

Yes she can!! She only cries on command for two reasons:

She finds anyone that isn’t a very feminine and cute girl super unattractive from a dating standpoint, to the point that if someone she isn’t attracted to tries flirting with her she will intentionally make a scene to either make herself as unappealing as possible or make them look like they’ve done something wrong. Is this incredibly shallow and unpleasant of her? Yeah. Does she care? No. She knows exactly what she’s doing. it’s a defence mechanism for her.

On rare occasions if a customer is being particularly rude at her barista job and she can’t be bothered with being professional. If she’s tired and someone starts having a go at her for being “too slow” at making their order with like 5 alterations to it she will turn on the water works and pretend to be a new hire to make them feel bad. Does not do this with regulars for obvious reasons. Her manager doesn’t care and actively plays into it sometimes because she thinks it’s funny.

Doesn’t have one specific thought, instead pulls up various bad memories so she doesn’t get too used to the same thing being used too often. Was bullied a lot in elementary school, so has a lot of options to choose from.

Kaz

No. Doesn’t like crying in general because to him it shows weakness. If he ever cries it is genuine but private.

9. Do they give tough love or gentle love most often? Which do they prefer to receive?

Cleo

Prefers to give and receive gentle love. She doesn’t like tough love because teasing and what others may consider playful insults among friends remind her too much of the bullying she’s experienced. Just wants to be cuddled and doted on and would like to do the same for her favourite people in turn.

Kaz

Gives tough love to most people he cares for with a few exceptions and is used to receiving it in turn, but won’t turn down gentle love from the right person. Kind of craves the softness but at the same time it makes him sort of uncomfortable because he’s just not used to it. Gets kind of freaked out if anyone other than Aster, Cleo or @peachsodama ‘s Pecha are soft/gentle with him, and all three of them had to work over varying periods of time to get to where they are with him in their respective relationships.

11. If someone was impersonating them, what would friends / family ask or do to tell the difference?

Cleo

Put a friendly and cute ghost type like a pumpkaboo next to her. If it’s the real Cleo she will probably have a panic attack before passing out from fright, due to having an extremely intense fear of ghost types. An impersonator would likely not react anywhere near Cleo’s level, or if they tried to it would be pretty obviously exaggerated.

Kaz

Get the impersonator to play guitar. Kaz is a skilled guitarist and has his own unique playing style + alternative tuning preferences. If anyone else was just handed one of his guitars and expected to play something they would likely assume the instrument was out of tune and start messing with the strings, a dead giveaway for not being who they claim to be.

28. What do they tell people they want? What do they actually want?

Cleo

Tells people she just wants to have a good time. To have an easy and uncomplicated life with nothing to worry about and plenty of time to spend partying with her friends. A cute girlfriend would also be nice.

Deep down she wants her DJ side gig to take off and be taken seriously within the world of electronic music, but kind of knows she’s dug her own hole with her internet presence as pokétwitter’s most annoying Klara stan. She wants fame and success but the risk of being tarred by her own actions makes her hesitant to fully commit beyond playing sets at friends’ parties and local shows.

Kaz

Tells people he wants the band to take off and to be able to make an actual living off it. He wants the fame and attention and the travel. He wants to perform to crowds of thousands. He likes to think he would give everything he has to achieve this.

What he really wants is truly unconditional love. The sort a parent is meant to give except his never did. Doesn’t know how to ask for it anyway and finds it kind of embarrassing.

33. How do they greet someone they dislike / hate?

Cleo

Actively avoids people she dislikes if she can. If avoidance is impossible she’ll blank them or make it abundantly clear she finds the other person’s presence repulsive. Pulls a face like she’s smelt something rancid and says something along the lines of “oh….. it’s you” 😒 before walking off.

Kaz

With a precision aimed insult designed specifically to provoke the other person into trying to hit him. Then he has an excuse to hit back. Actively looks for fights he can start with people he hates.

34. How do they greet someone they like / love?

Cleo

Hugs and kisses on the cheeks for her besties!! If she has a girlfriend they will be greeted with more kisses and getting spun around or picked up if Cleo is strong enough to lift them. Otherwise she will jump for them to catch her instead. Always very excited to see the people she likes spending time with. Will tone down on the kisses though if a friend finds that too much.

Kaz

Playful insults (e.g. Romy frequently gets a “what’s up, cumslut?”) or just a casual wave of the hand with a lopsided grin. Plays it cool. Cleo gets scooped up in a hug though without any insults because she is Much More Sensitive than his other friends. Usually he wouldn’t make such an exception but she is like the little sister that he never had.

If he’s dating someone he will greet them by kissing them with tongue and maybe grabbing their ass.

48. Who would they say ‘yes’ to if invited to do something they abhorred / strongly didn’t want to do?

Cleo

If she has a girlfriend she will say yes to anything she asks of her. Even if that meant going to an opera or through a haunted house or going/doing anything else she finds boring or scary. Cleo would watch paint dry if the girl she’s dating asked her to. A simp through and through.

Kaz

Heidi can ask Kaz to go or do anything and he will likely say yes. He craves their validation and will put up with stuff he finds incredibly boring and tedious if it means they’ll approve.

Will also do things for Aster even if he’d probably hate it because he loves her. She doesn’t demand much and when she does invite or ask him to do/go somewhere she knows he wouldn’t like, she makes sure to make it up to him later.

56. If they’re scared, who do they want comfort from? Does this answer change depending on the type of fear?

Cleo

Runs home crying to her parents every time. Still pretty attached to her parents and seeks them out for comfort 9 times out of 10. They kind of baby Cleo, to the exasperation of her sister. If they can’t tend to her she will go to her girlfriend (if she has one) or Kaz if he’s not busy. Otherwise she will just cuddle one of her pokemon until the fear passes.

Kaz

Tries to deal with his fear on his own, and doesn’t like showing it to other people. If he can’t deal on he own, Kaz will go to Heidi, Aster or Romy but won’t outright look for comfort. Instead he will act antsier than usual and refuse to talk about whatever’s bothering him unless it’s painstakingly coaxed out. If they’re all busy he doesn’t really know where to go. Tries to distract himself by grooming his pokemon if that’s something he can do in the moment.

#oc cleo #oc kaz #ask meme #additional info: #cleo went from being a cute ditz with an evil stan shitter account to a shallow bitch aaaahahahaha #i like making my characters kinda mean lol #ftr cleo would date a trans woman as long as said woman met her standards #she’s not a transphobe none of my characters are hahaha #when i say respective relationships re cleo aster and pecha + kaz i wanna clarify #aster and kaz have romantic ties to one another while cleo and pecha are friends only #have not decided if kaz and aster are still together or exes it kind of depends on the timeline lol #i like throwing both of them at other ocs and canon characters too hahaha #but them dating is a canon event the longevity of the relationship is up for debate tho #love that i tagged u in this despite bringing up your own oc lmaooooo #like YOU’re the one who asked hahaha

[transboykirito]

Are you a lesbian?

fuckin probably dude i don’t know anything i just work here

#anon #asks #i’d date a trans man!! would love to date a trans man!! #cis men? makes me actually anxious even thinking about it. #i’ll date a guy in a gay way. i will also date a woman in a gay way. #my sexuality is abcd (any but cis dudes) #really though my friends and i have been talking about this a lot lately they all think i am and i don’t know anymore 😭😭

[butchazepam]

I love having identity crisis that im not a real lesbian because every time i asks about how other people feel and think about sex they just tell me not to overthink it, just let it be

#im a goldstar but I can’t attribute that to my repulsion to men because I was wishing to have a boyfriend for the last decade i was just too #fat and ugly to interact with other people #plus I was only comfortable interacting with men if i was seen as another man #now I don’t want anything to do with them but it because of misogyny? #i have never had a crush on anyone #i started calling myself bisexual at 16 because i liked pussy more than dick #but at the time my fantasies were all about being humiliated by men and it didn’t seen as extreme if it was a woman so I didn’t so #consider persuing girls #i never fantasized about the man’s body #i never found a guy i thought was just as attractive as women #but when i was trans i wanted to be a well dresses guy with a beard #with a three piece suit so obviously i do find these men attractive #but i would never consider dating them plus they are always 70 years old #but do i feel uncomfortable because of the fear of mysogyny? #i don’t think i can ever date someone #all of these ideas seem very impossible

[dykefaggotry]

also re my second eldest sister her coming out as trans is really enlightening and i will never not think about this one time when i was watching rocky horror and she was like. i HATE this movie SO much and i was like okay elaborate and she was like well you see i just don't think... it's right..... for "men" ..... to dress like that....... like you can feel like a woman but do you have to make it so obvious to the rest of the world ? and this was a good 8 years ago but now i'm just like oh baby girl lmao

#the amount of repressed shit this girl would say out of NOWHERE god bless #or the one time she was like. i am a straight man obviously #and i was like uh huh sure we'll continue w that premise go on #and she was like. BUT. i think. i would like to be with a trans woman. who cares if she has a dick thats still a lady #and i was like correct right. yes. #and she proceeded to talk for like 15 minutes about why she wanted to date a trans woman i'm like. okay. well. right. #OR the time when me them and their ex were discussing gender and she was like #i'm a man. obviously (....) but i dont feel like A Man you know like gender is weird and fake and every man is a woman #and im just. okay. well. i do not think cis men feel that way beloved but i'm gonna let you carry on

[every-captain]

Ok this is the last "I'm not like other Noahs" thing i will post today but Elwin is also afraid of my gender and I think its funny.

#i am he/him only but i am less of a man and more of a woman than Elwin #i am more genderfluid/bigender/genderqueer or something of that nature #idk i feel closer to having a woman- adjacent gender than El #like i experience wlw and mlm feelings #i would date a lesbian and not devalue her sexuality as long as she didnt devalue my gender and masculinity #if a lesbian dated Elwin it would be like...more incorrect and hed never do it #functionally im a trans man i guess but truthfully no

[irl-magicalgirl]

me (bi): i don't really want to entertain the idea of dating a cis man unless he's bi/pan/queer in some way, lol

queer friends: yea, i get that, lol

cishet™ acquaintances: why on earth would you JUDGE someone by their sexuality and gender ???? there are GOOD straight men out there!!! and you might not give the love of your life a chance because he's STRAIGHT???? sexuality is not an indicator of someone's character 😤 why are you so mean and judgemental to people you haven't even met???

#first of all: if a cishet man likes me in a way other than platonically; he is no longer het #and if he denies that then that means he doesn't see me as the full person i am and therefore... isn't worth my time #second of all: why are somw people incapable of thinking for more than 2 seconds on #'why might a non-binary person not want to date cishet men 🤔🤔🤔🤔' #like I'm not unrealistic i KNOW there are plenty of cis queer men who are also shitty #but at least if a cis dude is bi i know he's already much more likely to understand I'm not a woman #and less likely to even unintentionally shame me for not confirming to ciswomenhood expectations #third of all: genuinely good cishet men don't feel offended when i saw things like this #and in fact have said 'yea i can see how a dude being trans and/or queer would make you feel more comfortable to be around them' #personal

[killstreak-kritzkrieg]

i told my mom i wanted to go to this pride event and like. she asked if i wanted her to come with and idk. she’s… open to the idea of lgbtq+ people and she doesn’t 100% Get It but she’s not like… hostile, necessarily. i told her that i didn’t identify as a woman several years ago and she’s never been mean about it but she also never called me anything other than a “she” or her daughter but also like… that’s fine. i genuinely don’t care what people call me, but even my brother they/thems me sometimes. i’m pretty sure she’s only open to the idea of me being lgbtq+ because i have an “excuse” (a childhood of sexual assault) so i don’t know how i’d feel bringing her along with me.

#i don’t think she’s very happy with my brother dating a trans woman #but it less due to a hatred for lgbtq+ and more like #she has expressed that she would like to have a grandchild and… man :( #pregnancy terrifies the shit out of me when OTHER people are pregnant i don’t know how i’d deal being pregnant myself

[snekdood]

sometimes it feels like ppl on here think ppl who are stern and assertive are shitty and its like... im sorry but ive been walked on all my life, if im not stern and assertive ppl treat me like shit. 

#being bubbly and smiley and welcoming has only welcomed people who want to use and abuse me into my life #id love to be if i didn't feel like people were going to manipulate my kindness #and its not lost on me that im treated like an asshole for this probably bc some ppl just see me as a grumpy hysterical half-woman #even trans ppl who would tell me they dont but show me they do still feel that way about me lmao #ppl rly aren't prepared to discuss how trans men are effected by misogyny in and outside of our communities #we're seen as essentially ugly unsavory women #the woman 'its okay to hate bc they're problematic in x way even iof they aren't we need to find a way all trans mascs r problematic' #'so we have an excuse to keep ostracizing them' #bc once you dismiss someone as a woman you hate whos problematic its a free for all. for some reason yall will let your masks down #entirely on allegedly problematic people who are percieved as women. #like yall are trying to get it all out as quick as you can on trans men on how misogynistic you can be so then you can go 'well ur a man so #u dont experience misogyny lololol gotem anyways lets keep treating them like how society treats women they hate' #and then once it becomes mainstream that its not cool to hate all dudes including transmascs whom you've decided are somehow worse than cis #men- yall will slide into the shadows pretending you didn't do shit or contribute to shit going on here #but if brought up- you'll panic and scramble to find reasons to justify ur behavior. recycling problematic things those transmascs #supposedly did that are either dated and have been addressed and the person has changed or changed their mind since then or #shit thats been disproven and was never real to begin with #and yall dont want to sit in the silence acknowledging what u did at all so you'll keep deflecting and ignoring it forever #bc facing the reality that you've hurt someone for some reason is really hard for ppl on here