#would anything be different or better if you recognized fear of rejection as fear of not being able to survive

[muzanswaifu]

A Step Ahead - III

Part I | Part II

Yandere! Tomioka x Fem! Reader

18+

Previous Choice: "Sneak out and go for a walk through town"

This is the third round of the game. Census has determined that you shall sneak out of the house and go for a walk. Be careful of those around at this time of night. Tread carefully.

Warnings: Yandere, Crying, Mention of postpartum depression, Smut later on

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It’s not like Mother could get any more upset than she already was…

You slyly climbed out of bed and made your way back to the door, carefully pulling it open so as to not make a sound. The wood creaked slightly making you cringe but hopefully nobody else heard. Shutting it closed with just as much care, you steadily creeped down the hall, tip-toeing across the floor boards as if they were covered in eggshells. The sound of laughter and talking could still be heard from the dining room, the participants oblivious to your current actions. Good. Getting caught now would just make everything more complicated. It would be better to get out and have your night of freedom then get in trouble later. 

Luckily, your room was right across the hall from the backdoor, aiding your mission. It only took a brief moment before you were out and about. You’d only been inside for a couple minutes, but you could already tell the air was colder, not that you minded. The winter air was chilly and crisp. It hadn’t been snowing much lately but there was still a thin layer of white covering the ground, making a light crunch as you stepped. It would be nice to blow off some steam with a walk in this type of weather. Summer walks just weren’t the same. 

Not many people were out either, most either out in the city for the festival or indoors to celebrate with their families. You were thankful for that too. You didn’t feel like talking to anyone anymore tonight. The village was small, but there was still plenty of area to walk. You usually just went around a couple blocks but tonight you were in no rush. Mindlessly you counted all the light posts as you made your way down the streets, taking note of all the broken lamps that were flickering. 

Your tears almost went unnoticeable.

You didn’t even know why you were crying. Maybe you were just pent up from all the frustration. Why was your mother so rude to you? What had you done so differently than your other siblings? Goddamn it you still wanted a slice of that stupid pie. You chuckled a bit to yourself.

Even after you turned eighteen, she still treated you the same, if not worse. If anything went wrong, it was your fault. If your younger siblings misbehaved, it was your fault. If your father lost some money, it was your fault. She always had a reason to be angry with you. You didn’t care much at this point, so used to her blatant distaste, but that didn’t take away the hurt. It hurt to be so unwanted.

Your grandmother once told you the reason for her anger was the circumstances of your birth. Mother had been ill the entire length of her pregnancy with you, and the moment you were born she entered a deep depression. It was almost like she rejected you from birth. She never bonded with you, didn’t want to spend more time with you than necessary. For a long time, apparently Father was too afraid to even leave you alone with her in fear she would neglect your needs. You didn’t doubt the story for a second. It made sense after all.

You vowed to yourself to never bear such malice to your own children in the future, no matter what. The family you made would be one of love and care, nurtured and loved. You didn’t put it past Mother to cut you off entirely after you’d gone and moved away. In fact, you hoped for it. Your thoughts were interrupted with a sudden clash.

“-umph!”

You stumbled back, holding your smushed face in your hands and groaning, your vision a bit fuzzy.

“Wha-?’ You looked up and your stomach dropped.

You still recognized the scruffy hair and strange haori that you’d seen in the forest, a dark aura surrounding the man. He was much taller than you’d initially assumed, standing tall at just under six foot, maybe shorter. You weren’t very good with heights.

Despite the fear factor, he wasn’t very bad looking at all, in fact kind of the opposite. He was quite handsome up close, deep blue eyes that were so alluring and a face sculpted with fine features. He could be quite the lady-killer if he didn’t exude such a depressive energy. Maybe your judgmental ideas were the reason you didn’t have a boyfriend already.

“Why are you crying?” he quietly asked, his expression stoic and unwavering. One would have a hard time believing he had much sympathy.

“Oh!,” you gasped, quickly wiping your eyes and sniffling, you’d forgotten you were teary already, “I-it’s nothing, just… family stuff. Sorry, sir.” You backed up slowly as you cleaned your face, but when you opened your eyes again, he seemed even closer. Weird.

“Sorry about bumping into you! I should watch where I’m going,” you apologized with an awkward smile. 

His face didn’t change at all. “It’s fine.”

You stood there uneasy and rocked on the balls of your feet, unsure of what to say at the moment. It wasn’t helping that he made no effort to continue the conversation, so the ball was in your court.

#demon slayer #demon slayer smut #kny #kny smut #kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba smut #tomioka giyu #tomioka giyuu #giyu tomioka #tomioka #tomioka giyuu smut #giyu #giyuu #yandere giyuu #tomioka x reader #kny tomioka #tomioka x you #tomioka x y/n #demon slayer tomioka #giyuu tomioka #kimetsu no yaiba tomioka #tomioka giyu x reader #tomioka giyū #kimetsu tomioka #giyu smut #giyu x reader #giyu x y/n #giyu x you #tw!yandere #smut

[licorice-lips]

In the past few days, I've seen an increasing amount of comments about how Suzanne Collins pushed a narrative in The Hunger Games about "both sides being equally bad" because of her representation of Coin and Snow being the same, someone going as far as saying Katniss was being manipulated by Coin, therefore, making her words against the Capital less true. And that really bothered me.

I strongly disagree with those people but I can see where they're coming from and that point of view has two reasons to be so widely spread:

The first of them is Snow and Coin being "different sides of the same coin" (pun intended). Both are driven by the same thing, which is the hunger for power and it's true that Coin tries to manipulate Katniss. However, just like Snow, she's unable to, that's the reason why Coin is so set on killing Katniss in the second film (and the book, but it's less obvious there).

But that's the thing: Katniss (just like Lucy Gray) won't be contained because her compassion for the struggling people under the oppression of the Capital and her hatred against this oppression shines through every time someone - even herself - tries to contain those traits.

Katniss is a representation of what the people from the districts really are - people both compassionate and filled with hatred against the oppressive system that shackles them to fear. Her own existence validates that the district's fight is a fair one, one that means the freedom of all Panem, as they claim. The fact that Coin is a part of the revolution does not make it less valid, it just comes to show that we have to be careful about choosing our leaders and that they, alone, don't mean anything:

It's really important to understand that the people responsible for the dismantling of the Capital were not Coin and District 13, but all of the Districts organized together, people who didn't have the exact same values or vision of what a freed Panem would look like but know the Capital cannot continue to oppress them. THEY are the revolution, THEY are the ones who killed Snow, THEY are the ones who did the fighting, THEY are the ones who took the Capital, and to me, it's insulting to resume their fight and their hopes for a better Panem on Coin and her own selfish goals.

Especially not when they are the reason why Coin dies at the end: once she tries to show her hands, she is immediately shot down (pun intended) because Katniss - as do others, like Plutarch - recognizes they're trading six for half a dozen (and I don't know if that's an English expression, but I think its meaning is obvious) if they allow Coin to spread her wings. The revolution didn't happen because of Coin, it happened because people saw in Katniss a symbol of hope, driving them into action, and the fact that District 13 - and Coin - appeared months after the beginning of it doesn't invalidate their fight in any way.

The second point is closely tied to the first and it's the strong anti-violence and anti-war narrative in both the books and the films. And I'll have to be very careful treading this one because I don't want you to think I condone war or violence but it's a really fine thread I'm going to walk by right now:

It's undeniable that the war itself is treated in the books as something terrible, both sides (first point) use violence as a means to an end, this end being the victory of their own side. But that's inevitable in war: there will be violence, and there will be unspeakable things done to "the other side", and there will be war crimes being committed. And we are so culturally infected by the idea of resolving anything by "love" and of a unique hero who will free us all, that talking about violence as a valid response to oppression is quickly rejected.

Again: I do not think violence should be the immediate answer to political problems, of course not. But when we talk about the oppression that's been committed continuously against a group of people through a large period of time, especially when their diplomacy and cries aren't being heard, why shouldn't violence be the answer? What other response there is? Go quietly into the good night? I don't think any of us would want that, not for ourselves and not for the ones we love, and not for the ones who make our communities.

There's a really good book - The Wretched of the Earth, by Frantz Fanon - that explores violence as more than a valid response to oppression, but a necessary one. Although I do think diplomacy should be tried and other resources should be exhausted before violence and war, I also think they are a valid response to oppression, especially because the oppressors are so vicious.

But returning to the books, even when violence and war are valid, like in the revolution, they are still extremely ugly and traumatizing, especially when we need - as the oppressed ones - to keep our humanity so we don't end up becoming the oppressors. So it's natural that the violence narrated in Collin's books, especially the violence committed by the revolution, seems like it passes the message that both sides are just as bad - something like the narrative, you lose your reasoning when your response is violence.

However, what makes Katniss's and the District's fight for freedom from the Capital's oppressive regime valid is not their lack of violence or their integrity (it's war, and it's not likely that, as a soldier, you maintain it), but the very fact that they are the oppressed ones. Victims should not and are not perfect, they never will be - children being as close to it as we can go. But that doesn't make their fight less valid.

Of course, there is a limit, and that's perfectly captured by Gale: hatred without compassion, blind rage, and dehumanizing of your enemy. That's when violence is no longer valid in fighting oppression, not because of its lack of morals but because of the danger it represents to the innocent they're trying to free.

And yes, I thought a lot about Palestine writing this.

#the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus snow #lucy gray baird #the hunger games #katniss everdeen #lucy gray #tbosas #suzanne collins #books #gale hawthorne #political activist #political discourse #free palestine #palestinian genocide #the hunger games the ballad of songbirds & snakes #the hunger games theories #the hunger games theory #thg #mockingjay #hunger games #catching fire

[esther-dot]

You know sometimes fans forget that Dany was raised by Viserys and he fed Targ exceptionalism and blood purity to her. He taught her that Targs have right to Westeros. Plus she is surrounded by toxic people who generally feeds her Targ propaganda. At many times she started emaluting like her toxic family. Yet they think that Dany an underdog shouldn't be punished by narrative. That her becoming like her evil family is reductive story.

I understand the discomfort fans have with some of Martin’s choices here, but he said that the Targaryens were inspired by the Ptolemy dynasty, which imo indicates he always intended to tell the story of the end of house Targaryen. I really don’t think he expected fans to believe Dany would be victorious and restore House Targaryen, simply because, it isn’t a good thing for people to liken themselves to gods or believe in blood purity. The fact that the fandom has ostracized those who point to such things as bad is…interesting.

At the same time, I do have a lot of sympathy for those who feel that it is offensive to write an abuse victim turning into an abuser. But, we can have objections to things Martin has written without denying what he’s done. I think that’s an essential aspect of engaging with this series, actually. Viserys is such an abusive, horrible force in Dany’s life, and I do think she could have been different / had a different end if she wasn’t so influenced by him/the Targ beliefs. She still has good instincts, the desire to do good, but it isn’t enough for her to reject all the Targ ideas he inculcated in her at such a young age.

I think it’s gonna get so much worse because the fear that “waking the dragon” inspires in Dany (and us!) because of Viserys’ abuse makes that an especially worrisome phrase, and while it features a lot in AGOT, we understandably start to see it far less as the series goes on until it pops up again from Dany’s own lips in ADWD. To me, that must be a deliberate choice on the author’s part to indicate where this is heading. I suppose the frustration is that it feels like Dany is doomed by her blood because we know she has better instincts. We know she doesn’t *want* to be evil, but Martin has talked about being the hero in one’s own story, the villain being the hero of the other side, and no other character has the potential to carry that the way Dany does. We either have people who are recognized as villains by everyone, heroes, and then those who are clearly doing bad things but people deny it means anything. The interest in having a psychological reason for why someone makes the choices they do (Cersei has them, Tyrion, the Hound, even LF…) means that we can relate and see them as humans, which is a worthy goal artistically, even though for some people, the abused to abuser take is too much.

I suppose what saves the story from being reductive is how many characters we have? As in, Jon is a Targ, and we know he will not give into the worst Targaryen impulses—this isn’t about blood. Sam was raised in a toxic/abusive environment, and he is kind and good — this isn’t a story in which your fate is written by your abusers. Bran was driven from his home and starved in the North but will ultimately have some hand in saving Westeros— this isn’t a story in which all those who are wronged are forever exiled / doomed to failure.

I know we all pick our favs and think “of this happens to X, the story is saying Y,” but it isn’t quite that simple, and Dany is only part of a much more complex whole.

#dot chat #sorry for such a late response anon! #anti daenerys

[xerceii]

God’s Eye - PART 1 & 2

Pairing: Chanyeol/OC

Genre: Fantasy, Action, romance

TW/Warnings: 18+ included some gore, a scene with vomit, violence, murder, smut in future chapters, multiple sexual conversations, religious talk relating to God and the devil

Plot: Ahn Jung is a 25 year old office worker who underwent eye transplant surgery, she never thought that the donor would be a demon.

Note:

Testing to see if I want to start posting fics on tumblr again or continue linking to other sites 🤔 so here’s part 1 and 2 combined to test the waters

Click here for master post

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The faint beeping of the machine was the only sound she could hear for a while. It kept a slow rhythmic pace that mimicked her heart rate. It was insufferable. The endless sound reminded her that she was alive yet couldn't do anything but wait. Leaving her to her own thoughts... or so she thought-

Ahn could see images behind closed lids. They were fast and few but she saw them. Flashes of fire, of an old city she didn't recognize and even faces. Faces so beautiful she wondered exactly where this place was?

But... she could see.

Finally she was told to sit up. Ahn sat up and felt the bandages around her eyes loosen and unwrap. The doctor told her specific instructions which she didn't hear... No, she was too busy being nervous. Her heart pounded and her hands started clamming. What if her body rejected the donor? What if something had gone wrong and she can see even less than before? Or what if she looked funny now? They had told her the eye color would change. She didn't want that. She was Ahn, the girl with the pretty brown eyes that let everyone know it was okay to approach her.

That let everyone know she wouldn't judge them. She'd want to be their friend. Soft brown eyes like the color of Christmas pine trees, or fallen autumn leaves. That's the way her mom had described them. She always loved that description. It made her feel as if just by looking into her eyes.... You could smell cinnamon and taste eggnog.

You couldn't now.

The sound of cameras clicking brought her out of her depressing trance. The bandages were off, glasses immediately placed on her eyes.

"I wanted to see them!" Her mother whined.

"You can later on." The doctor explained. "After a while she'll be able to wear clear glasses, but she'll need an eye shield for now."

"Did they actually change?"

"Yes." The doctor sounded almost embarrassed to admit it as if he had any way of stopping that process. Obviously he didn't. "They're a clear blue now."

Her parents gasped and she gripped the bedsheets.

Oh well.

It wouldn't look good on her but at least she's going to have better vision now.

Ahn looked around the room. The glasses dimmed the lighting and it was still a bit blurry but she could tell there was a difference. A huge one actually. Things were their actual distance, the outline of everything could be seen and faces- everyone's faces were distinct, though the blurriness would take it away every so often. It had worked though. It made her hopeful. It brought her back to normal. Ahn jumped up and everyone panicked fearing she might fall over.

"I'm fine." Her hand raised to stop anyone from grabbing her. "Better than fine actually, It worked!"

"You'll be a bit sore for the next few days. You should take it easy."

She nodded and stretched. Ahn didn't know how long she had been under the knife but her body definitely did. It was cramped and stiff in all the worst areas. She needed to move her legs, start walking or running or whatever. Letting out a groan, she smiled at everyone who was looking at her. Which was everyone in the room. "I'll be fine, I just want to get out of here. I'm good to leave right?"

"Technically yes." The doctor frowned. "As long as you follow the instructions."

She nodded not really knowing any of them. "I will! I'll get a paper for them though, right?"

He nodded and she didn't need to hear anymore. Ahn walked out of the hospital room in her gown, happy to just get out of there. She hated standing still, she hated doing nothing. It was weird but she wanted to dance. Her socks slid against the hospital's smooth white floor. It wasn't exactly dancing but it was the most she could do without being labeled crazy.

Ahn took the stairs, even skipping some of the last ones and jumping off. This was going to be great, she could finally see better which meant Requiem might take her back... hopefully. If she talked to Baekhyun, he might let her.

Leaving through the exit doors, Ahn walked up to the receptionist desk. "Ahn Jung."

"Just Ahn?" The woman at the front desk looked at her weirdly. Ahn nodded, not wanting to explain that her parents became lazy trying to name her and settled on a last name for a first name. It was a never-ending fight between them. While the computer clicked away looking for her information, Ahn suddenly felt light headed. Maybe she had pushed herself too far.

Her eyes hurt too.

"Ma'am are you okay?"

What?

"Ahn!" She heard her mother somewhere very far away.

Nope. She was right beside her on the ground. When did she even fall?

Shit. Shit. Shit. Everyone was rushing towards her. Her eyes closed and they felt a little better. A flash of the city from before lit behind her eyes. This time she saw walls that once were probably cream in color, the intricate roof work and paint all destroyed. The sky above was red and loomed over her like some kind of warning. It was terrifying but she kept looking at the image. Her body was picked up.

"She'll have to stay a couple more hours just in case." Her doctor explained.

No...

She couldn't keep doing nothing. Ahn couldn't keep laying down. It was torture. "I'll be fine-" she groaned. "I can't keep laying down! How long was it anyways? A day? Two days!?"

"Dramatic as always Ahn." Her mother shook her head. "The surgery was only an hour."

Oh.

She felt her face flush at the embarrassment at that and let herself be carried back towards her room. Her head tilted back and she opened her eyes slowly. There was a crowd watching her, but one in particular stood out. A tall man with pink hair and a ridiculous fuzzy pink coat. That wasn't what stood out though, it was his expression, he was glaring at her. He looked like he was close to throwing the chair next to him at her. His brows were furrowed and his eyes wide.

Damn what did I do? She thought, closing her eyes. Maybe it wasn't towards her. She heard the ding of the elevator and the doors closing. Her feet twitched wanting to walk again.

Go to sleep...

it'll make time go by faster.

So she did. From the mix of pain and embarrassment, Ahn was able to fall asleep during the elevator ride.

                                 ______

When she awoke it was nighttime. Ahn didn't know until she took off the stupid eye covers and replaced them with her tinted glasses. She had been strapped down so she would be forced to sleep upright. They hadn't done it hard enough to make it impossible to move, just so her sleeping form wouldn't shift around.

Tugging on one end undid the straps on her arms, they quickly fell to the side. Putting on the glasses, she looked around.

The hospital room was dark and her parents were gone. They probably decided she was fine enough to spend the night alone. The only light that creeped in was from the moon itself, and all the machines hooked up to her. It was a plain old hospital room, yet why did it look creepier at night? The wooden closet used for storage was opened by an inch and it felt like she was being watched. There was no light outside in the hallway either. Her belongings had been thrown on the visitors chairs so she could dress.

Ahn sat up, untying her feet and hopping down. The floor was cold despite it being summer. The AC cranked up too high. She ran a hand through her tangled hair and walked towards her clothes. It's the same ones she had arrived in today. A pair of jeans and an old T-shirt she didn't mind if it got lost or dirty. It was a T-shirt that had been with her since middle school, also her favorite black sandals. Her hands reached towards her back to take off the hospital gown but stopped.

The closet... it really felt like she was being watched.

Her eyes shifted towards the bed. Maybe she could call a nurse in. Press the button and not be alone anymore. The glasses shifted down to her nose and she had to push them up. No. There's probably no one in there. That'd be two times she'd embarrass herself. The closet door creaked beside her.

Only darkness showed inside. It didn't help that these stupid glasses darkened everything even more. She wanted to take them off, but she shouldn't. Ahn sighed and walked towards the wardrobe. Her hands pressed lightly against the open door.

What if there was someone inside?

Biting her bottom lip, she opened it. If there was someone inside, well her legs were probably faster than theirs. She was good at running and dodging and anything that included movement and physical activity. All those years of sports and dancing would pay off.

The door swung open, hitting the wall in the process. Inside it-

Was nothing.

Just an empty wardrobe with a couple of hangers and towels in case she wanted to shower. Someone must have left them for her and accidentally forgot to close it completely. Ahn gasped in relief, bringing her hand to her chest. Thank god. It would have sucked to have to run from someone at this time of night.

She was suddenly thirsty.

As if fear itself dehydrated her.

Walking towards her bag, she pulled out two dollars and left her room. The hallways were completely dark but at the end of them the vending machines were on. If she turned another corner after them there would be the emergency stairs and the elevators. Civilization. Maybe she could go downstairs and hang out at the cafeteria. No, it was probably closed.... The lobby then, she could people watch and maybe find a nurse or someone to talk to.

Ahn stepped in front of the vending machine looking at her choices. Chips, sodas, water bottles, candy....

Candy. She grinned and put in the first dollar, quickly getting the one that had the most chocolate. Then, got herself a drink. A coke. She needed sweets and junk right now, especially after that scare.

Her items fell and she bent down to grab them from the tray with a loose door. That's when she noticed a pair of pale feet beside her. Ahn looked up to see a boy looking down at her. He was blonde, blue eyed, around her height so not exactly tall for a man. He was pretty though.

"Sorry I didn't mean to stand so close!" He backed up a couple steps away. "I was just curious to see what'd you'd get."

Ahn smiled, taking out her things. "It's fine, I get curious about things like that too." She straightened up showing him her coke and chocolate bar. He nodded, seeming happy that she wasn't rude to him. Ahn moved out of the way so he could get something himself.

He got the same exact things.

"It's better to eat junk food with another person." He grinned. His hair was long enough to reach his shoulders and he was skinny. She could see the bones of his shoulder blades even through his hospital gown. His eyes had dark circles under them and his nose was pretty.

"Cool look you're sporting by the way." He unwrapped his candy and started eating.

"Huh? Oh." Ahn laughed, touching her glasses. "Eye transplant surgery. I got out today but decided to push it and ended up earning myself a couple more hours in this shit hole."

"Transplant?!" He gaped. "Did it hurt?"

Ahn shook her head. "Not really, but they hurt afterwards. They're sore and feel a bit dry."

He nodded. "You have to put in the eye drops. They'll help the recovery."

She sighed and decided to sit down. Her back pressed against the wall while the boy took the spot beside her. The vending machine flickered indicating it was old, and probably only a year away from giving out. Her feet were a lot bigger than his.... Not in length but... the weight of them. Hers looked pretty healthy, while his were as bony as his shoulders.

They looked frail, weak.

"If I'm rude feel free to smack me-" Ahn started. "But why are you here?"

"Me?" The boy asked, drinking from his coke. He leaned his head back as if trying to decide how to tell her. "To put it simply-" His skeletal hand touched his chest. "Heart failure."

"I- that must have been difficult." Ahn frowned. She couldn't imagine herself not being able to move around. To be limited to just the walls of this hospital. Her hands gripped the can of coke. It crackled under the pressure. She had it good. There was no room for complaining. She wanted to kick herself for her antics earlier.

"You know-" The boy laughed quietly. "You're the first person who hadn't told me they're sorry."

"Was that bad?!" She panicked. He shook his head immediately, stopping her from actually doing it.

"No! No. It was nice. It's all I ever heard so... it's a nice change in pace. Yes it is difficult, but an apology won't do anything." He finished his drink and continued snack time by finishing his chocolate. Ahn frowned, not happy with his situation. He seemed like a good guy. People don't deserve this.

"Did you know them?" He asked.

"Know who?"

"Your donor."

She shook her head. "No. It was anonymous. They didn't want their information to be given out." Ahn grabbed the boys empty can and wrapper, standing up, she went to throw them away in the trash can near the vending machine.

"Thanks."

"It's nothing." She waved it away and sat back down. The flickering started again and Ahn decided to finally drink her coke. Pulling the tab, she smiled hearing the click. A fresh coke, they always tasted so good. The fizzy drink touched her tongue and fell down her throat, calming the nerves she still had from the closet incident.

The boy looked at her. Blue eyes seeming to become more lifeless. They were clouded over as if he were in a weird daze. "Do you believe in heaven?"

Ahn stopped drinking. "Maybe?"

"I do." He muttered his voice was now soft and thoughtful. "Heaven and hell. Good and bad."

She looked at him and he held his heart again, blonde locks falling over his eyes. "I want to go to heaven. I don't have much time left but... I want to do everything possible so that I can get into heaven."

"I'm sure you will." She muttered with a mouthful of chocolate. "You seem like a good guy."

"How old are you?" He asked her.

"Twenty five."

"I'm seventeen."

Ouch. He was young. Ahn finished her own food and went to throw them away. When she turned back, the boy was standing. He looked like he was about to fall over. His palm was placed against the wall.

"Do you need help going back to your room?" She hurried towards him.

He shook his head, breaths coming out shallow. "I want to show you my favorite place here. Do you want to come?"

"Sure, but do you think you can make it?"

He nodded. "If you help me I can. It's been a while since I've made a friend. I don't want to go to bed yet."

Ahn smiled at the friend comment, also happy to be using some sort of strength again. She wrapped her arms around the boys and carried half his weight. Which wasn't much. He held on tightly as he told her the directions to go in. First into the elevator and to the top floor, then turn to the right hall, the left led to the rooftop but the right- she didn't know. She had never been here.

There were a couple more rooms up here, mainly the more expensive ones that VIP patients would want. There was also an abandoned desk, some closets for equipment-

"There-" The boy pointed. His breathing had become worse. Ahn made sure to carry more of him now. He definitely wouldn't have been able to make it this far without her. He pointed towards the far end, the last room left. Room 999. They walked up to it and she turned the knob.

It was an old hospital room just like any other. Except the windows were huge here. Most of the walls were windows. The moonlight bathed the entire place in its glow. The floor was cement which was probably one of the reasons it had been abandoned. There was also a bathtub in the middle, it was outdated. Probably from fifty years ago. The hoses and handles had been ripped off but she could see they used to be gold. Whatever hadn't broken off indicated that.

On the ground lay arrangements of different hospital robes and equipment. She almost tripped over a stethoscope.

"Careful-" He told her. "There's abandoned needles here."

Then why would we go here?! She thought, regretting everything. These stupid glasses. They didn't help anything. Ahn took him towards the windows at the farthest end of the room, he gasped, falling to his knees. He pointed north and her eyes widened. From the rooftop you could only see the city. From here, you could see the mountains, the line of trees and the clouds that barely touched them. The moon seemed closer here too. It was beautiful.

Ahn pressed her face towards the glass, taking it all in. So so so beautiful. Why didn't she realize how close the forest was from this hospital? She needed to take a hike down there. Maybe even a run. It would be good if Requiem wanted to shoot some dance videos here too. Maybe this boy can meet them, have some friends before he... she stopped the thought.

"I never did ask you your name." Ahn turned to look down at him. He sat cross legged staring at the entrance of the door. "Gabriel." He whispered.

Biblical. That would explain his need to go to heaven. He was religious. Or raised in a religious household. Ahn nodded. "It's a cool name."

He wasn't paying attention to her anymore. She followed his gaze towards the door.

Her heart dropped.

The blood in her veins ran cold.

Two men in black robes were chaining up the door. Another was putting something in the bathtub. A cross. He was putting a silver cross in the bathtub.

Ahn stood up, putting herself in front of Gabriel. "What the hell are you doing?" Her voice came out more nervous than expected. They ignored her finishing up the door. Ahn looked around, there was no other way to escape. Even breaking the window wouldn't work. It was a long fall and they would die. They were trapping them, and no one traps another person for a good reason. This was bad. Very bad. Every hair of hers stood as if her body was trying to warn her of what she already knew.

"Answer me!" She shrieked at them. They didn't. There was a pipe bar next to her, she was going to defend herself with it but- Ahn took off the glasses, throwing them aside. She needed to see better. It was cloudy but it was better than her original eyesight. She could see everything on the ground, and see in actual color instead of the brownish hue the glasses gave her.

It was risky for her eyes but... they needed to get out of here. Ahn could face the consequences later. "Gabriel-" She whispered. "Can you run?"

Gabriel looked up at her. "No."

Shit.

"Here's what I'll do, I'll try to knock as many as I can down with that pipe over there. I'm strong so it should be easy. You go and unchain the door. If you get it open, run. Go find help. I'll be behind."

Gabriel frowned at her. "You'd protect me?"

Would she? The answer was yes but she was scared to. She had never been put in a situation like this before. Ahn was agile. Good on her feet. She'd give it her all. Taking a deep breath, she readied herself. "On three-" She told him quietly.

The men in black robes all turned to her as if they heard. That's fine. That's fine. Even better. They turned their attention on her and when she got the weapon they'd panic and try to take it from her. They would ignore Gabriel unchaining the door and they could get out of this.

"One."

"Two."

"She's going to grab the pipe! Stop her!" Gabriel shouted.

Ahn turned to look at him in shock. She didn't have time to be heartbroken by the betrayal. She dived towards it while they all had a two second start to get it from her. Ahn was closer, she grabbed the pipe and swung violently, managing to hit one of them. He fell back.

Keep going!

Ahn swung and spun herself in a circle so it was harder to grab her, all while walking towards the door.

No use. They were smart. One managed to grab it from her and it almost knocked her down. He threw the pipe away and it clattered, crashing into a box full of old syringes. Ahn took off running. They chased after her and she bent down to grab a couple needles. She threw them their way and they dodged.

The needles almost hit Gabriel instead and he covered his face with his arms. He looked angry now. Not like the sweet boy she had been talking to for the past forty minutes. Ahn was crying out of fear. It burned her eyes to do so. In fact, her vision was getting worse now. There was little time left before they gave out.

Ahn threw more needles and anything that was dangerous enough to be hit with. Finally she passed the bathtub, it had been filled with red liquid. Crosses floated at the top. It sent a ripple of fear through her so strong that her feet faltered. She had to grip the edge of the bathtub to keep from falling.

Pulling herself up, Ahn kept going until she made it towards the door. Her hands fumbled on the chains trying to find where it started and where it ended. It was no use. A labyrinth of metal that couldn't be undone unless you had an axe.

Or a key.

There was probably a key on one of them. Five figures ran towards her. The sixth was still on the floor crying from the pain she had caused.

Quickly scanning all five people, Ahn saw what she needed. All of them had crosses around their necks except one. He had a key. Pushing herself off the door for more momentum, Ahn turned around and ran back towards Gabriel. They all seemed confused by the action. Good. Gabriel stared wide eyed as she picked up a needle, and slid towards him. The cement burned and scarred her knees, scraping off skin in the process. It didn't matter. It was the fastest way.

Ahn wrapped an arm around Gabriel's thin figure, pressing the tip of the needles on his neck. "Stop or I'll kill him!"

She wouldn't. She couldn't. She hoped they couldn't tell her bluff. The five figures stopped in front of them gasping for air. Her knees ached, but worst of all... her eyes. Her eyes burned. It was over. They were clouding over. They were too dry. Ahn had done everything she wasn't supposed to do.

To her dismay, Gabriel nodded, his head bowing low. "It's okay. I'm going to die anyway. Get her."

Ahn dropped the needle while they all started closing in again. She couldn't escape. Her eyes weren't capable of crying anymore. They all grabbed her and she let out an ear deafening scream. A dozen of them actually. Ahn thrashed in their arms, begging for them to let go of her. They didn't.

They were going to kill her. Or kidnap her? Or something bad.

"Please!" She begged. "Someone help me!"

No one came. Why was no one coming!? Her legs kept kicking trying to free herself from their hold but it was no use. They took her towards the bathtub and dropped her roughly inside. She was met with thick red water and crosses that dug into her spine as her body hit the bottom of the tub.

The sixth robed person came over, helping them hold her down. She couldn't breathe. Her body begged for more oxygen. Ahn gasped for air as they held her head. Water kept coming inside. No, not water. The taste was too thick. Too metallic. Oh god.

No.

No. No. No.

It was blood. She was in blood. She shrieked again, the sound gurgling with the blood entering her. "Stay still!" One of them yelled at her. Gabriel came up behind them and Ahn glared at him. As much as she could. Her eyes couldn't see much anymore. It was burning too. The blood burned the surface of her skin. Her body soon became too overheated and she didn't see any scarring but it felt like there would be if she stayed any longer.

"Start now!" One of them yelled.

"Help!" Ahn cried, getting a small towel shoved in her mouth in the process.

A man stood up and took out what seemed to be a Bible. "We are here to exorcise a poor victim of possession. May the heavens help us!"

Victim? Possession? Heaven?

Ahn screamed but it was only muffled by the towel. She panted instead, wishing she could've seen her friends one last time. Wishing she could've danced one last time. She wished for a lot of things actually. She should've been nicer to her parents. Should've invited them to her new apartment more.

"Help!" Ahn screamed but it didn't sound like anything.

"Stop screaming! All the ones on this floor are in on it." Gabriel spoke quietly. "It's to help you. Your donor... he was possessed before he died. The demon stayed in the eyes you have now. Stay still and we can help you."

"Fuck off!" Ahn cursed at him.

"The members of the church had been keeping close tabs on them. When they disappeared we noticed it's because they had been picked for your surgery. You were the only one who received one today."

"I don't care! I don't care! I don't care!" Ahn kept repeating, hating the way the blood burned. The man in front of her kept saying words of heaven and hell, god and angels. She couldn't hear through her own screaming. There had to be at least one person in this damn hospital who decided to check on the top floor. Just one good Samaritan.

"May the power of Christ compel you!" He shouted. There it was. That famous line that had been overused in horror movies. Ahn kept crying. "May the demon that rests on your shoulders show itself and repent for its sins!"

And then there was fire.

PART 2 - All a dream… Maybe?

Pure lines of blazing hot fire spread across the room. Like slithering snakes they circled around everyone. No, not snakes. It was a tornado of fire. It was unbearably hot and despite being in a tub full of blood, Ahn was already sweating. Outside the ring she could see that the flames weren't touching anything else.

Only focusing on them.

She kept screaming, but it wasn't only her who was screaming now. The robed men were yelling. Their clothes were on fire. They all let go of her trying to put it out. One shoved her out of the bathtub so he could get in and put out the inferno that currently devoured his body. Ahn met the ground roughly, her body ached but she was able to take out the towel from her mouth.

Gabriel fell on his ass beside her, he started sobbing and backing away as if he'd just seen a ghost. Ahn turned around to see there was a new person there with them.

A man.

"Ahh. You're the ones who invited me yet you're treating me like this?" He crossed his arms. "That's not very nice is it?"

All her attackers had been able to put out the fire on them. Now they wailed and shielded themselves from him as if he was going to kill them all. Wait, she had seen him before. Ahn took in his features again. Pink hair, tall, except instead of the ridiculous coat he was wearing a striped turtleneck and a leather jacket this time.

"I should teach you all a lesson. What is this your fourth time trying to exorcise me?"

The man met her eyes and smiled, a small dimple showing on his cheek. "But time is of the essence. We need to go."

Ahn couldn't speak. Her throat burned from all yelling she had already done. The man ran up to her and picked her up easily, as if she weighed close to nothing. "Oh guess you'll be needing these too-" He held onto her with one hand while picking up her glasses with the other.

And then-

He jumped out the window, breaking it in the process with his shoulders. Ahn screamed a hoarse dry sound coming out of her. She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly. Glass shards fell around them as they fell. There's no way they were going to survive the fall. Her stomach flipped at the drop and her mind stopped working.

He laughed a low deep chuckle before she felt a large shove and a brand new unsettling feeling. It wasn't falling. They weren't falling anymore. Her hair was being plastered down. They were going... sideways? Ahn kept holding onto him, but decided to open her eyes a little. The world was nothing but a blur, but she could make out trees. They were going towards the forest.

How?

"Can I tell you something?" The guy asked.

She couldn't answer. Her voice was gone. Death. Death was all she could think about.

"Ahh...To be honest-" He continued. "I don't know how to land with someone in my arms."

As if on cue, Ahn felt them land roughly on the ground. The grip on her body tightened and he took the worst of it, using himself as a landing pad. Her head slammed against his chest and then was thrown off of him. Ahn didn't have time to call for help, crashing into the forest floor, her body rolled a couple times before she was able to stop. Pine needles and sticks poked her bare arms and her knees... she didn't even want to think of the state of them.

The man groaned beside her and her body went into a fit of violent coughs that only resulted in her throwing up soon after. Her vomit was red and brown from the chocolate earlier and the blood.

It was hot out here. Summer was always so hot even in the forest. Ahn wiped her mouth and tried standing up but the guy was faster. He shoved her back on the ground, rolling her so she was on her back. "Aish you seriously need to take care of my eyes better." He frowned, taking out eye drops from his pocket.

Ahn was too tired to fight it. He opened her eyes, letting a couple drops fall in. It hurt. A lot. Ahn tried shoving him away but he was stronger. "Unless you want to go back to the hospital, I suggest letting me help you."

The hospital. With that cult. No thank you. She calmed down, and the man wiped her eyes softly with the back of his sleeve. Finally he put on her glasses and groaned, falling beside her. "Stay like that for a while. It's better to be on your back during recovery."

The sky above them was dark and cloudy. You couldn't see the moon from down here. It was covered. "Who are you?" Ahn asked, wincing at her grandma voice. It sounded aged and raspy.

"Chanyeol?" He said it in the form of a question.

"Are you not sure or are you asking me if I'm Chanyeol?"

He sat up. "Interesting."

"What is?"

He sighed, clapping his hands once. "Do you know how to get home from here?"

"No!" Ahn tried sitting up but he narrowed his eyes warning her not to move. She continued laying down. "I don't but I can Uber."

"Uber what the hell is that?"

He didn't know?

"I can pay someone to drive me." She explained. "Through an app but-" A defeated sigh escaped her. "My phone was in my room."

"What's a phone?" His brows furrowed, looking impatient.

Was he pranking her? Ahn stood up, ignoring his warnings. "You know? To call someone? To text them?"

He blinked. "Oh a telephone."

"Yes. I need my telephone." The word sounded weird. No one used it anymore. Ahn coughed again and Chanyeol looked around.

"They were close to exorcising me this time." He ran a hand through his hair. "Ah, to put the blood of a lamb with holy water was a smart move."

At least it hadn't been a human then. Ahn decided she could live with it for now. She looked at her dirty arms, underneath the blood and mountain dirt she could see they were red. "Why did it burn me?"

"Because you're now part demon sadly. I cant believe they were given to someone so insignificant." He snorted and walked up to her. His eyes were blue and one was clear enough to almost be white. There was a shift in the wind and he grabbed her shoulders. "Close your eyes."

"What?"

"You idiot, do it now!" He spoke through gritted teeth.

Ahn decided to listen in a mix of fear and trust in him. She closed her eyes and they immediately felt better. The wind picked up and her hair blew in her face. She wanted to move it out but the man stopped her. "Whatever you do, don't open your eyes."

There were voices. Whispers around them. They were large in numbers and some were closer than others. They ranged from low and high tones. It was suddenly cold too. Ahn shivered and the grip on her shoulders tightened. It was scary. This was too scary. She wanted to run. Ahn wanted to open her eyes and run. Just like before with the men, something felt off. Like there was a presence here that wanted to hurt her. She gasped, the sound coming off shaky and scared.

The voices stopped.

Everything seemed to stop. Even the wind. As if waiting for her next move. "Your Uber is going to have to wait-" He laughed under his breath. "Seems like everyone decided to be nosy tonight."

Chanyeol picked her up again and she decided to let him. He had already saved her once. Her arms clung to his shoulders. "Hold on." He whispered. She felt him shift and they were in the air again. Ahn bit her lip and he kept moving. She didn't know where, or what but it seemed to be fast. As fast as a car. "You can open your eyes but don't look back! They're chasing us."

Ahn shook her head, refusing to see anything. She didn't want to find out what was chasing them or where exactly they were going at such a speed. Instead she thought,

Okay... he's a demon.

I have demon eyes?

Maybe this is a dream. Maybe that cult actually got to me and I'm dreaming. Or maybe it's an incredibly creative dream and I'm still in the hospital bed. There was never a Gabriel, and I never ate chocolate.

Maybe....

"All these houses look the same!" He muttered frustrated. Ahn opened her eyes. They were falling towards her street.

Didn't he not know how to land?

He didn't.

Chanyeol landed on the ground and lost his grip on her. He cursed and she fell off. Ahn rolled on the cement this time and almost crashed into a pole. The demon, on the other hand, was perfectly fine. He dusted off his hands watching her struggle to get up. "A sorry would have been nice!"

He raised an eyebrow. "Why should I apologize?"

Whatever. It was a dream. Ahn figured this was all a dream now, there was no way in hell her body could take this much damage in one day. She stood up, knees wobbling and walked towards her apartment. Chanyeol stared after her. "Tomorrow, I'll check in tomorrow. For now, put a ring of salt in your bedroom."

"Yeah, yeah." She muttered, too tired to fight with her dream.

He was suddenly in front of her and she crashed into his chest. He was very very tall.

"I mean it. At least do that."

She nodded. Guess it wouldn't hurt.

                              ————————

Chanyeol walked through the red gates being greeted by a bar full of idiot demons just like himself.

They all cheered at his entrance and some even sneered. He rolled his eyes and fell on a stool. This was going to be harder than he thought. The human was pretty healthy in a physical sense but she seemed to be a little too stupid. Instead of being scared of him, she had decided that he was a dream.

Though it helped running away.

He slammed his fist on the table and a demon named Kiol yelled at him. "Watch it! I just had those installed."

"I'm surprised this place is still running."

Kiol smiled at him. "It's been a while since you've been in the mortal world hasn't it? A lot has changed. Welcome back Chanyeol. It seems like everyone missed you."

He looked back at the guests. It was all demons but in their human form. They ranged in ages depending on when they were made into demons. One was as young as six. All of them were aware of his presence. All of them had been waiting for his return.

"They gave my eyes to some idiot human girl." He frowned. "She decided it was all a dream."

Kiol frowned, his human form was nothing short of intimidating. A bald headed six foot five man with tattoos covering every inch of his body. Chanyeol never understood why he went with that image when he could've been someone handsome... like himself. He grinned at his own compliment. Kiol said it was to scare any non demon customers away. Which was funny considering he was a high class demon. His power should be enough for that.

"How many are after her?" He asked.

"Too many. We almost got attacked in the forest but I was faster and stronger." Chanyeol sighed.

"Are you taking your eyes back?" Kai asked behind him. Chanyeol turned to look at him and they both grinned. Kai and Kiol two brothers who looked nothing alike yet had been demons for as long as he had been. They had met when there had been no such things as cars, or the internet or... Uber was it? Kai had burnt red eyelids that were a result of Chanyeol's curse that turned them into demons.

"I am." Chanyeol stood up. "Even if it kills her. I just have two problems.-"

"What is it?"

"She ruined them in a short amount of time. I have to wait for them to heal properly." He touched his eyelids. They were there in a spiritual sense. Not in a physical sense. Chanyeol could use his demon abilities to make himself look like a normal human. Like how he used to look thousands of years ago. "Also I can't rip them out of her because of that stupid law."

"Ahh..." Kai started thinking. "Humans over demons one?"

Chanyeol nodded. In the world of spirits there is a hierarchy. Demons in the lowest rank. Humans are weak and oblivious to the fact that they have so much control over them. They do though. It's the way God intended it. They have the power to get rid of them, to exorcise them, to make sure they never see light again. That also includes not being able to take his eyes back. That girl now owns them, they're part of her physical body and the only way for her to willingly give them up. "I'm going to do the contract with her."

"The king is back." Kai smiled.

He was.

_____________

1480 - Joseon dynasty:

Through the sounds of a leather whip, the sky above was a purple tint. It seemed to stretch into the horizon across the curved and sharpened grey rooftops. It touched the gold and green paint of the palace in such an artistic way that no painting done by any artist in the entire kingdom could replicate.

"Four more."

Chanyeol stared, lifeless, as the man in front of him was beaten. He didn't care. He had dared to back talk to him. Now he suffered the consequences. His father gave the commands. All he could do was watch and have fun with it.

Behind him, he heard a gasp. It was his mother. She had always been too weak for these situations, too kind. Chanyeol stood up, his red robes fluttering against the ground. From inside the castle lanterns had been lit up in the most beautiful of colors. Colors to represent an upcoming wedding.

His own.

The king stood, earning himself a good ten servants to come to his aid. They all tried helping him walk, some going as far as wanting to be used as a stepstool. Chanyeol rolled his eyes and stared back at the villager. He grew crops for the kingdom last he heard, he was hard working yet brash. He didn't care about the royal family or manners. All the good looking men were like that, including Chanyeol himself. Except Chanyeol was allowed to act like that. Through the scars and lashings he could make out the sharp features of his face, his long black hair fell towards the ground.

"He's going to get married soon! A crown prince should not be shown as being violent!" His mother fought for him.

"He is to be a king. A king shows no mercy. A king is strong." His father explained.

"Showing mercy is strength." She countered.

Chanyeol walked over to the beaten man and cocked his head to the side and smiled a crooked smile. "Do you agree? Mercy is strength?"

The man whimpered. Shielding himself from him. Not so tough now was he...Chanyeol took out a small golden blade, gifted to him by his friend Kiol. "I will show you mercy then-" He smiled, diving the blade into the side of his neck. A couple of women screamed behind him. Blood splattered on his face and he looked back. His mother had fainted, his dad looked proud but... his soon to be wife looked horrified. Chanyeol dropped the knife and raised his hands. "It was either that or torture."

Sooyun cried, though the tears didn't fall. They gathered in her eyes as she nodded and bowed to him. "I am grateful to be wed to someone as merciful as you."

She was lying for her own sake. Chanyeol nodded and dismissed her. His dad patted him on the back. "You are going to be a great king."

He wasn't so sure about that.

#chanyeol angst #chanyeol #exo #chanyeol fic #chanyeol scenario #exo fic #gods eye xercei #demon au #kpop fanfic

[malarkay]

Too Real Is This Feeling of Make-Believe

When the Storm Hawks intercept a transmission claiming that Master Cyclonis is going to Terra Neon, they assume the worst. Determined to stop her before she can carry out any nefarious plans, they head straight for the terra. But things go differently than how anyone had planned.

“Remind me again why I agreed to this,” Master Cyclonis prompted, and Ace suppressed a sigh as he took her by the shoulders and turned her around to face the mirror again. 

“Hold still,” he told her, just forceful enough to gain her compliance without sounding too commanding, which ran the risk of earning her ire.  He was well-versed in the art of wrangling his mercurial empress.  Combing her hair out of her eyes with his fingers, he deftly began to work it into a single Galean braid.  “You agreed because you wisely recognize that you need a day off to decompress from all the stress you've been under lately.”  

He’d been trying to get her to take a vacation for the past month and a half, ever since he’d endured a tirade from a fed-up Ravess who declared that working for Cyclonis was becoming, quote, a fucking nightmare.  Something had to give if they didn't want a mutiny on their hands.  He’d begun by suggesting two weeks on Tropica, which she rejected outright.  He hadn't had any luck getting her to agree to take a week off, either.  Finally, she had agreed to one day off.  It was better than nothing.  He’d been quick to suggest Terra Neon.  She was the perfect age for it, and the terra provided the most bang for your buck.  

A disgruntled hum was her only response.  She was clearly second-guessing her decision.  Finishing with her hair, he handed her her Chroma Crystal necklace.  She slipped it on, tucking it under her shirt, and they both took a moment to gaze into the mirror, studying the effect.  Her braided hair was now a sandy brown, her eyes a light blue that matched the shirt she wore under a royal blue zippered hoodie.  She’d ditched the black nail polish and had opted for a thinner, subtler eyeliner.

“Your own grandmother wouldn't recognize you,” he assured her as she moved to gather the rest of her things into a black backpack: a telescopic staff in case she needed to defend herself, an Oblivion Crystal in case she really needed to defend herself, and a Warp Crystal in case she needed to make a quick getaway.  More cash than she could possibly spend in a day was tucked into a zippered pocket hidden inside her hoodie.  “You’ll be shadowed the whole time by undercover Talons, and I’ll be here making sure the place doesn't burn down in your absence.  You have nothing to worry about.”

“I'm not worried,” she told him.

“Voice.”

She rolled her eyes with a sigh before clearing her throat.  “I’m not worried,” she repeated in a lighter, much less intimidating tone.  

Satisfied that she looked and sounded like any other fifteen-year-old kid and not like one of the most hated and feared people in all of Atmos, he told her he hoped she had fun today and sent her on her way.

~*~*~

The Storm Hawks were on their way to Terra Neon, and Finn couldn't be happier, even if they were technically on a mission.  They'd intercepted an encrypted Cyclonian transmission earlier.  Piper had managed to partially decrypt it, unscrambling it just enough to learn that Master Cyclonis herself was supposedly going to be on the terra today.  They didn't know when or why, but as Aerrow had said, she couldn't be up to anything good.  Their job was to find her, figure out what her intentions were, and ultimately stop her from carrying out her plans.

They would have to be sneaky about it.  If Cyclonis caught on that they were after her, she could bail, coming back later to finish what she started when they weren't around to stop her.  Or she might decide to stay and fight, which could lead to innocent people getting hurt.  They couldn't risk that, so they'd have to catch her by surprise.  That meant disguises, but Piper only had three Chroma Crystals.  It was decided that he, Piper, and Aerrow would be the ones to search the terra while Stork, Junko and Radarr would remain aboard the Condor to monitor the radio for any more Cyclonian chatter.  To cover more ground, they were going to split up.  Finn rubbed his hands in anticipation.  This was going to be great!  Without Piper breathing down his neck, he didn't see why his search couldn't include going on a ride or two.  What she didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

They changed into civilian clothes as they approached the terra, him tossing on a black leather jacket over a dark green t-shirt before raiding his piggy bank for spending money.  Meeting back up with the others, he accepted his Chroma Crystal, making sure it was securely tucked into one of his pockets.

Crossing his eyes, he looked up at his hair to see what colour it had turned, frowning when he saw that it was black.  He looked over at the other two, Aerrow with his bright blue hair and Piper with her pink hair, and huffed.  “Aww man, why’d I have to get the boring hair?  Do my eyes look cool, at least?’

“These crystals aren't the best quality,” Piper admitted, sounding a little embarrassed.  “Your eyes didn't change colour.”

He looked at the other two closer to see that their eyes hadn't changed, either.  That made him feel a little better.  Not enough to stop his disappointed whine, though.

“You look fine,” Junko reassured him, messing with his hair a little to style it differently.  “There, no one’s gonna recognize you now.”

“Thanks, Junko,” he smiled, making a mental note to try to win his best friend the biggest teddy bear he could find.

Piper gave him one of her knowing looks like she could read his mind.  “Just remember, you're here to find Cyclonis, not to goof off or chase girls.”

“Cyclonis is a girl,” he pointed out, and Piper rolled her eyes so hard he was surprised she didn't hurt herself.

“You know what I mean!”

“Yeah, yeah.”  He crossed his arms.  “I get it.  We have a job to do,” he said, showing the others that he understood the assignment.

“Okay, so here's the plan,” Aerrow said.  “We’ll keep in touch through our earpieces.  If you see her, don't engage.  Let the rest of us know, and follow her until we can get to you.  Our weapons are too conspicuous, so we’ll leave them here.  Junko and Radarr can bring them to us once we’ve found her, and we’ll go from there.  Got it?”

They all agreed, and, at last, it was time to have some fun.

~*~*~

Have fun, Ace had told her, and she fully intended to meet that challenge.  It would just take a little planning and strategy first.  Armed with one of the cutesy little maps they handed out at the park gates, she claimed an empty bench and started plotting out which rides and attractions she wanted to check out, meticulously charting the most efficient route between them so that she didn't waste any time.

Once her day was planned, she got up and headed toward her first stop.  She’d almost made it to her destination when she felt someone slip their arm around her shoulders and loudly say, “There you are!  I've been looking all over for you!”  She stiffened and stopped walking, only to have her overly friendly assailant prompt her to keep moving as he whispered, “Just play along.  You've got someone following you.”

Ah.  So a would-be rescuer, not an assailant.  She glanced over her shoulder just long enough to catch sight of one of her plain-clothed Talons in the crowd before the boy with his arm still wrapped around her said, “Don't look!  We don't want him to know we’re onto him.”

She decided to play along.  The sooner this was over with, the sooner she could go about her day.  So she let him lead her through a turn or two.  He’d sneak a glance toward their shadow every time they changed directions.  After a few minutes of that, she gestured behind her back, ordering the Talon to withdraw.  It worked.  Once he noticed they were no longer being followed, her rescuer relaxed, letting his arm drop.  

“That was one scary-looking dude,” he said as he shuffled to a stop.  “I’m glad we lost him.”

She couldn't disagree with his assessment.  That particular Talon was a very large, intimidating man.  She wasn't sure what Ace had been thinking with that pick.  If she were ever forced to take another day off, she'd be sure to choose more inconspicuous-looking Talons as security.  

“Thanks for looking out for me,” she said, finally able to get a good look at him.  He was about her age, with bright blue eyes and tousled black hair.  No taller than she was, and slightly built, he had to have been either very brave or very stupid to think that he could have done anything to stop the behemoth of a Talon from hurting them if that was his goal.  Probably both.  Surprisingly, it wasn't the suspicion that he was an idiot that bothered her.  It was that there was something vaguely familiar about him, but she couldn't quite pinpoint what.

He gave her a grin that was clearly meant to be flirtatious, which made the feeling even more pronounced.  Why was he so familiar?  This was really going to bug her until she could figure out who he reminded her of.  “Well,” he drawled, “if you really want to thank me, we could hang out for a little while.  Go on a couple of rides, maybe have lunch together later?”

“No.”

He wilted at her flat rejection.  She almost felt bad.

“How about one ride?” he suggested, looking so hopeful that the second no she had prepared died in her throat.  She sighed.

“Fine.  One ride.”  She looked around to figure out where they were, then consulted her map.  “The StarFlyer’s that way,” she said, pointing.  “That's where I was going first.”

“The StarFlyer?” he said, making a face.  “That's for babies!”

“No, it's not,” she said, defending the swing ride.  It may not be the most thrilling ride in the park, but anything that dangled you a hundred and thirty-five meters into the air and then spun you around at seventy-five kilometres per hour was hardly what she'd call a ride for babies.  

“Yeah, it is,” he said dismissively.  “I wanna go on that!” he said, pointing to the giant roller coaster off in the distance.

She looked back down at her map.  Not only was it out of their way, but it wasn't even on the list of rides she wanted to go on.  She'd overheard that it was the most popular ride on the terra and that the lines were always long.  She didn't want to wait in a long line.

“We’re going on the StarFlyer,” she told him.  “Take it or leave it.”

“Ohhh, I get it.  You’re scared,” he said obnoxiously.

“What?  No.”

“Why else would you say no to the best ride on the whole terra?”

“Because, in the time it will take us to get through that line, we could have gone on three other rides.”

“We?” he grinned, stopping just short of waggling his eyebrows.

She narrowed her eyes at him but otherwise ignored his comment.  “It’s an inefficient use of our time.”

“You sound just like one of my other friends,” he groaned.

“Well, your friend sounds like they have a good head on their shoulders.  Look,” she said, holding out her map, ready to explain her carefully laid plans in detail.  He took one look at the map and the little annotations she had made in the margins and shuddered.  Snatching the map away from her, he crumpled it up and tossed it into the nearest garbage bin.  

“That took me an hour!”

“And in that hour, you could have gone on the roller coaster instead!  Listen, you can’t plan a day at Terra Neon.  You have to feel a day at Terra Neon.”

“I feel,” she drawled out emphatically, “like that sounded better in your head.”

He scoffed.  “I’m going on the roller coaster,” he said and started walking.  When she didn’t follow immediately, he stopped and turned around.  “You coming or not?”

With a sigh, she followed.  “Don’t look so smug,” she told him when she caught his satisfied little smirk.  “I agreed to go on one ride with you.  I’m just keeping that promise.”

“Uh-huh,” he said as they walked, still grinning.  “So, what’s your name, anyway?  I’m Fi…” his words trailed off in a cough, and he thumped himself on the chest a couple of times before continuing.  “Felix,” he finished.

Names.  Right.  She hadn’t thought she’d need a name when she came here, not expecting to pick up company.  She considered using Lark but dismissed that idea.  She didn’t like how things had ended the last time she gave someone that name.  She’d have to come up with something else.  It didn’t take long for one to bubble up from the darkest depths of her subconscious, and she blurted it out without thinking.  “Andy,” she said, and nearly winced.  When she was younger, and her grandmother was still alive, there was a boy whose father was governor of Gale for a few years until his assassination.  She couldn’t remember his or his father’s name, now.  It wasn’t important.  What was important was that he insisted on butchering her name whenever she saw him.  Ignoring her repeated requests that he refer to her by her preferred middle name, her surname, or her title, he had instead glommed onto her hated first name and then managed to make it even worse by shortening it.  Thus, Calandra had become Andy.  Ugh.  Well, there was no taking it back now.  For as long as she was stuck with Felix, she was stuck with this stupid name.

“Andy,” he said, smiling over at her.  “I like it.”

~*~*~

It turned out Andy was even more impatient than he was when standing in lines.  While he bounced on the balls of his feet as they slowly inched their way forward, hardly able to contain his excitement, she stood with her arms crossed, scowling, radiating major stormcloud energy.

Maybe he shouldn't have insisted on the roller coaster after all.  She was definitely going to ditch him the moment the ride was over.  He was going to blow his chances with a cute girl again!

‘You could try talking to her,’ an exasperated voice in his head told him.  It sounded suspiciously like Piper.  Duh!  Of course, he should talk to her!  It would distract her from the wait.

So he asked her where she was from.  After a moment’s hesitation, she told him she was from Terra Greemus.  

“Cool, what's it like there?  I've never been.”

There was another pause before she answered breezily, “Oh, you know….”

He didn't know, but he laughed like he did.  “Oh yeah.  Totally.”

“What about you?”

It only took him a split second to come up with an answer.  Piper would be proud of his quick thinking.  “Terra Rex,” he told her.  A part of him felt bad about lying to her, but he had to keep up the undercover act.  If Cyclonis was around here somewhere, there could be other Cyclonians around, too, and he couldn't afford to have any of them overhear who he really was.  It could ruin the whole operation.  

“Huh.  For some reason, I always thought everyone from Terra Rex was blond.”

Well yeah, he thought so, too.  That's why he…crap!  His hair wasn't blond!  It was fine; he could salvage this.  He could if his mind hadn't gone completely blank, anyway.  Come on, man, say something!  Anything!  “That's racist!”

She stared at him for a moment before bursting into laughter.  After a second, he started laughing, too, his face burning.  “It's not racist,” she insisted between bouts of laughter.  “A stereotype, maybe.”  Getting her laughter under control, she said, “It was stupid of me to believe that everyone from an entire terra would have the same hair colour, now that I think about it.  Sorry.”

“It's okay.  I get that a lot.”

The conversation became easier after that.  He learned that she was an only child and that it fell on her to take over the family business.  When he had asked what kind of business it was, she had waved a dismissive hand.  “Logistics.  Boring stuff.  I don't really want to talk about it.”  Fair enough, he didn't really want to talk about boring stuff, either.

He told her he had three brothers, a sister, and a very smart dog.  That made her smile, but it was kind of a sad smile.  She'd always wondered what it was like to have siblings, she told him.  And a pet.  She claimed she didn't have time to take care of a pet, though.  He suggested a cat.  Cats were supposed to be pretty easy, weren't they?  She shrugged.  “Maybe someday.”

She asked him what his plans for the future were, and it was his turn to shrug.  He couldn't tell her that he was already part of a Sky Knight squadron.  “I dunno.  I like helping people.  Maybe something that lets me do that.”

She grinned and asked him if he had ever considered trying to join the Rex Guardians.  He laughed outright at that.  “Join those stuck up windbags?  Dude, not on your life!”

That seemed to amuse her more than anything else he'd said.  

At last, they got to the front of the line, and soon enough, they were in the front car.  “Best seat on the ride!” he said excitedly.  “When we get to the top of the first hill, you gotta raise your arms in the air when we drop,” he instructed, suspecting that this was her first time on a roller coaster.  She had neither confirmed nor denied her roller coaster experience level when he’d asked her on the walk over.

“Why?”

“Because it’s fun?”

She looked skeptical but agreed.  The ride operator came around to yank on their restraints to make sure they were secured, and then away they went!

She was surprisingly chill throughout the ride.  Besides an initial yelp when the first drop came, there wasn't much screaming and yelling coming from her side of the car.  He thought she maybe hadn't enjoyed herself as they got off the ride, but when he asked her how she liked it, her smile and the way her eyes sparkled put that fear to rest.

“Wanna go again?”

“Yes!” she said without hesitation.

As they made their way back to the end of the line, he spotted two teenage boys about a third of the way from the front.  They looked pretty cool, which gave him an idea.   Grabbing Andy’s hand, he led her over to them, ducking under the railing to get in line behind them.

“Hey guys, what's up?  Thanks for saving our spot,” he told them.  Sure enough, the boys played along, fist-bumping him and acting like they were friends.  The person they had cut in front of grumbled a little but didn't make a big deal out of it.  Success!

“That was sneaky,” Andy told him approvingly.  He just grinned.  He’d just shaved so much time off their wait.  He didn't think he'd hear any more Piper-like complaints about 'inefficient use of time’ from her after this.

~*~*~

Cyclonis wasn't sure how it happened.  She wasn't sure how she had gone from counting down the minutes until she could ditch Felix for good to standing in line with him to go on their fifth ride of the day.  After their second time on the roller coaster, they had gone on the Gravitron, then something called the Pendulum, which she had not enjoyed.  Not that she was going to admit that to Felix and have him make fun of her.  Honestly, it had started out fine, simply rocking back and forth.  No big deal.  But then the ride had flipped them upside down and let them hang there for what felt like an eternity before it creakily continued on its arc.  And the restraints?  A joke.  They had been hung upside down with nothing but a frayed lap belt to prevent them from falling out!  The cursed thing was part torture device, part death trap.  Someone had definitely died on that ride before, no one could convince her otherwise.  Felix, obviously, loved it.

One thing was for certain, she was never going anywhere without a levitation crystal ever again.  Just in case.

Now they were waiting to go on something called The Orbit.  Round cars were attached to a central pole that swung them around the wavy track while the cars also rotated.  Felix explained that there was a wheel they could turn to control how fast the car spun.  The majority of the cars spun at a relaxed pace, while a few were barely moving at all, and one was spinning so fast it looked like it might fly off the ride entirely, its occupants screaming bloody murder the whole time.  She already knew by the way Felix’s smile grew manic as he watched that that would be them soon enough. 

They had stopped along the way to get some cotton candy; yet another thing that she'd never tried before that Felix seemed so casually familiar with.  As they waited in line, he offered her some first.  She pinched off a bit of the fluffy pink candy, popping it into her mouth.  It dissolved instantly, and she couldn't help but make a face.  “It tastes like pure sugar,” she said.  She wasn't sure she liked it.

“Not true,” he said as he ate some.  “There's also food colouring.”  After a brief moment of deliberation, she took some more, giving it a second chance.  Knowing what to expect this time helped.  It actually wasn't that bad.  Between the two of them, they finished it all by the time they got to the front of the line.

~*~*~

They were on their way to grab some lunch when Aerrow’s voice came through his earpiece.

“Everyone check in.  Are we all doing okay?”

Oh no….

He quickly scanned the area on the off chance he might spot Cyclonis somewhere in the crowd.  It was the first time he’d given the matter any thought in…a while.  Nope.  No Cyclonians here.  But there was a bathroom.  Perfect.  Smiling apologetically to Andy, he excused himself as all the others sounded off that they hadn't seen anything suspicious all morning.  “All good here,” he told everyone as he entered the bathroom, turning a blind corner and running right into Aerrow.  Literally.  

“Ahhhh!” he screamed, startled.  Aerrow yelped, stumbling back a couple of steps before catching himself.

“Finn!  What the heck?”

“Nothing!”

That earned him a suspicious look.  Honestly, where was the trust?  But whatever suspicions Aerrow had, he didn't voice them.  Instead, he said, “I'm about to head over to the food court for lunch.  Do you want-”

“No!”

He could have kicked himself.  Now Aerrow really did look suspicious.  It wasn't like him to turn down food.

“Is everything okay?  You're doing what you're supposed to, right?  Because Piper thinks-”

“Pfft, come on, Piper always thinks I'm slacking off, but I've got this!  If….” He looked around, aware that they were still in a public area and easily overheard.  “If she's here, I’ll be the first one to find her.  Guaranteed.”

“Good,” Aerrow smiled.  Giving him a quick hug, he told him to be careful and left.  Finn waited a full sixty seconds for the coast to clear before walking back outside, wondering how they were going to avoid running into Aerrow again.

~*~*~

Less than a minute had gone by since Felix disappeared into the bathroom before one of her Talons casually sidled up to her.  Luckily not the big, brutish-looking one who had caught Felix’s attention this morning.

He crossed his arms, carefully looking away from her before he spoke.  “Everything alright?” he asked respectfully.  The ‘Master’ part was left unspoken but implied.

“Yes,” she answered, watching him out of the corner of her eye.  

“That boy isn't bothering you, is he?  He can be made to disappear.”

So eager.  He must be gunning for a promotion.

“That won't be necessary.  I find him amusing for now.”

The man gave a nearly imperceptible nod.  “We stand ready to assist you should you need us,” he reminded her.

“Of course.  I expect nothing less.”

With that, the Talon disappeared back into the crowd.  Soon after, Felix returned to her side.  “So, change of plans,” he told her.  “My stomach doesn't feel so good between all that cotton candy and crazy rides.”

Gross.  She shifted a little bit away from him, and he rushed to reassure her.  “No!  I didn't…I wasn't sick in there.  I’m fine!  I just thought we could ride the StarFlyer first before lunch.”

“You want to ride the baby ride?” she teased him.

“Yes,” he smirked.  “I wanna ride the baby ride.”

“Okay,” she agreed.  She shifted her backpack so that she could get at the outside pocket, unzipping it and pulling out a pack of peppermint gum, offering him a piece.  Hopefully, he was telling the truth about not getting sick in the bathroom, but just in case….

“To help settle your stomach,” she prompted.  

Slipping the gum back into her bag once he had taken some, she shouldered her backpack, and they headed off to the StarFlyer.

~*~*~

So, Andy might be onto something with the StarFlyer, now that he’d given it a proper chance.  Okay, three proper chances.  It was actually really relaxing.  It was like flying on a Skimmer, but not really.  Flying took concentration, always running calculations and making little adjustments to make sure nothing bad happened.  This felt more like falling, only no, because falling was scary, and this ride wasn’t scary.  It was somewhere in between the two.  He could just sit back and enjoy the view of the sky and the wind whipping through his hair without a care in the world.

“Wanna go a fourth time?” he asked once they were back on the ground.  The other great thing about this ride was that there was almost no wait time.  The walk to the ride and three trips through the short line had only burned half an hour.

“Nah, I nearly fell asleep this last time,” she confessed.

“You, too?” he laughed.  “It’s so…” he trailed off, trying to think of a better description than ‘relaxing.’

“Meditative,” she finished for him.

“Really?  My friend, the one I said you remind me of a little bit, meditates.  I tried it once, but I couldn’t get into it.”

“It takes a lot of practice.  No one gets it right the first time.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.  Are you feeling better?” “100%.  Ready to eat whenever you are!”  

She nodded, and they started off for the food court.  “I just don’t get how you’re supposed to clear your mind of all thoughts,” he said as they walked.

“You don’t,” she said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  

“No offence, but I think you’re meditating wrong.”

“No, you are.  You can’t just stop thinking altogether.  That’s stupid.  You’re going to have thoughts.  Meditating is about learning how to not dwell on those thoughts.  It’s kind of like watching a leaf float past you.  You have no control over the wind that blew that leaf towards you.  You can’t stop the leaf from approaching you.  But you can watch it pass you by without reaching out and grabbing it.”

“Whoa,” he said.  That made way more sense than how Piper had explained it.  “So you think the thought, but you don’t really think the thought?” he asked, putting more emphasis on the second ‘think.’

“Exactly.  Like I said, it’s not easy at first, but you get better at it the more you try.”

He watched her out of the corner of his eye as they walked.  He was so confused by this girl.  She’d obviously never been on a roller coaster before today, but she also hadn’t been scared riding it.  She didn’t know what cotton candy was, but she could wax poetic about meditation.  And who the heck came to an amusement park alone, anyway?  Had he befriended an escapee from a monastery?  Was that a thing?

They got to the food court, and he watched her study the menu boards, her brow furrowing more the longer she stared at them.

“Problem?” he asked.

“Do they not have anything healthy here?”

Oh yeah.  She had definitely escaped from a monastery.  He was sure of it.

“No, everything here is terrible for you.  That’s what makes it fun.”

She hummed indecisively.  After another full minute of silence, she asked, “Wanna split one of everything?”

“Umm, I don’t think I have enough money for that.”

“That’s okay.  I do.”

Seriously, who was this girl?!

~*~*~

In the end, they didn't get one of everything, but they came close.  They'd settled on a sampler platter that came with chicken strips, potato skins, fried zucchini, and mozzarella sticks.  Then they'd added some nachos, a giant slice of pizza that they cut in half, a side of fries, and a couple of sodas.  

Cyclonis didn't think they'd end up finishing it all once she saw it all laid out on the table between them, but she had been wrong.  After one of everything from the sampler platter, her half slice of pizza, a quarter of the nachos and a handful of fries, she was uncomfortably full.  

Felix, meanwhile, was still going strong.  She watched in horror and fascination as he polished off the rest of the food.  Hadn't he complained about feeling sick just an hour ago?  Were all teenage boys like this, or was he some sort of freak of nature?

“Maybe we should hold off on going on any more rides for a while,” she suggested as they cleared their table.  She would hate to have to murder him if he threw up all over her.

“Okay.  They have a really cool arcade here.  We can hang out there for a while,” he suggested, and she agreed.

Forty-five minutes later, she decided she wasn’t a fan of arcades.  There were way too many flashing lights and blaring sounds, all jumbled together into one big discordant mess, and it didn't take long for it all to start getting on her nerves.  On top of that, Felix had obliterated her in basically every game they'd played together.

Yeah, she wasn't having fun.  

At least Felix took his wins gracefully.  Now.  The first time he beat her, he had started dancing around, exalting himself and mocking her in turns.  Eventually, he noticed the look on her face, and it instantly shut him up.  Gulping, he had called her scary before suggesting they try a different game.  Since then, he'd wisely kept his opinions about how badly she sucks to himself.

“There's a laser tag arena next door,” Felix told her after another fifteen minutes.  She wasn't sure if he had gotten bored or if he had finally noticed her discomfort.  Either way, she was grateful to get out of there.

~*~*~

It didn’t take long for them to get suited up and join a bunch of other smaller groups who would all be playing together.  They had the arena for an hour and would get to play as many rounds as they could fit into that time.  Once the rules had been explained, they broke into two teams of ten.  He and Andy were on the same team, their red armbands distinguishing them from their blue-banded enemies.

It was a simple game of Capture the Flag.  Respawns were allowed, but if you were hit, you had to go back to your team’s base before rejoining the game.  A whistle blew, and the game began.  The arena was huge, dimly lit, but not too dark, with multiple levels and plenty of obstacles to hide behind between them and the opposite team’s base.  

“Follow me,” Andy told him, sounding like she had a plan.  It didn't take him long to regret his decision to do so as she led them up to one of the upper levels, found a person-sized foam pyramid to conceal them behind, and then…decided to camp there?

She flattened herself against the ground in a spot where she could watch the chaos going on below.  He had to admit that it did give them a really good view of the entire arena, but if all she wanted to do was watch the game instead of play, she could have saved her money.

“Watch our backs,” she told him.  After five minutes of dutifully doing as he was told, he got bored.  Only one other player had come up to their level the entire time, and he easily took the kid out.

He had had enough of sitting on the sidelines.  “Okay, well, you have fun up here.  I'm gonna go actually play the game now.”

“Hold your position,” she ordered.  

“Andy, seriously, this is so boring.  I wanna play.”

“Hold.  Your.  Position,” she said, glaring back over her shoulder at him.  Scary Andy was back.  

“Okay, fine,” he told her, holding up his hands in surrender.

Two more minutes passed.  He got to shoot one other enemy player who had tried and failed to sneak up on them, but that was as exciting as things had gotten for him.  He was considering shooting himself so that he’d have to go back down to where all the action was when she spoke.

“What's the range on these laser guns?” 

“Uhh, I dunno.”

She hummed in thought, pointing to a player who was pinned behind another foam pyramid on the lower level.  “Shoot her.”

“She's on our team,” he protested.

“So?”

“Do you…do you get the objective of this game?”

With a sigh, she aimed her laser gun at her chosen target and fired, hitting her on her second try.  

“Andy, what the heck?”

“That was fifty meters,” was all she had to say for herself.  She pointed out another player, this one on the opposite team.  “Would you say that's a hundred?”

“Give or take,” he agreed.  He took aim, fired, and hit his target on the first try.

They tried a hundred and fifty meters, followed by two hundred, registering a hit at both distances.  Anything beyond that appeared to be out of range.

“You're a good shot,” she complimented him.

“I know,” he grinned, which made her roll her eyes.

She watched the battle rage below them for another minute before announcing, “I've seen enough.”

Getting up, she led him back down to the main level.  Their flag was gone by the time they got back to their base, and less than a minute later, the whistle blew again, signalling the end of the game.  The blue team had won that round.

Once the red team was back together, Finn just about had a heart attack when Andy lit into their teammates.  “That was pathetic.  There was no cohesion, no strategy; it's like you all wanted us to lose.  So let me tell you what's going to happen in the next game…”

“Who the fuck died and made you queen?” a disgruntled older teen who had nearly thirty centimetres and fifty kilos on Andy interrupted.

Showing an alarming lack of fear, Andy stepped closer to the almost full-grown man who had spoken out against her.  She had to tilt her head back to look him in the eyes, but when she did, the guy took a nervous step back.  “Oh, I'm sorry.  I wasn't aware you wanted to keep losing.”

Ohhh.  Scary Andy had a scary voice to match now.  That was new.  And vaguely familiar for some reason?

The guy looked over to him.  “Bro, control your girl,” he blustered.

“I dunno, man, I think we should hear her out,” he said.

Thankfully, no one else on the team seemed to have a problem with injecting a little strategy into their gameplay, so they all agreed with him.  He gestured, prompting her to continue.  

“Now we don't have much time, so I’ll keep things simple,” Andy said as if the interruption never happened.  “Luckily, the blue team’s tactics are laughable, so we should be able to win pretty handily if everyone sticks to the plan-”

She quickly and succinctly laid out her plan, breaking the team into pairs and giving each pair a specific role to focus on.  As for them, they’d be the ones responsible for capturing the blue team’s flag.  “You wanted to play,” she told him with a smirk.  “Let’s see what you got.”

The whistle blew, starting the game.

One pair stayed behind to guard the flag, while another split up and headed off to opposite sides of the upper levels.  Andy said she had seen them both make some pretty impressive shots during the first game and decided they should be their snipers.  The other two pairs stuck to the perimeters of the arena, moving to flank the enemy.  The middle of the arena was all theirs.  They moved from pyramid to pyramid, him covering her when she was on the move, with her doing the same for him.  They each landed a few good ‘kills’ and made it to the last pyramid before the enemy base unscathed.  A member of the blue team was guarding the flag, perfectly positioned so they couldn’t get a clear shot of her target sensor without leaving the safety of their cover and putting themselves at risk.  

Andy waved up at the upper levels, trying to get the attention of one of their snipers.  They didn’t have to wait long.  No more than ten seconds later, the flag guardian’s vest lit up, indicating a hit.  They both darted forward, him reaching the flag first.  

“Go, go, go!” he said as he grabbed it, and they full-on sprinted back towards their side of the arena.  Andy got hit along the way, but it didn’t matter.  He got the flag back to their base before whoever had shot Andy could get him, too.  The whistle blew, and the match was over.  Their team had won, with enough time left for one more round.  A tie-breaker.

Before the third round, Andy ran a whole new strategy by the team.   They couldn’t use the same tactics as last time, she said, because the blue team was probably busy right now coming up with ways to counteract them after their success.  Just as she was assigning roles, Aerrow’s voice came through his earpiece. 

Seriously?  Now was so not a good time.

“Hey guys, I don’t suppose any of you have had any luck locating the target?”

The poor guy sounded so hopeful and so bored at the same time.  He glanced at Andy, thinking fast.  “I call dibs on sniper!” he told her.

That seemed to throw her off for a second, but she recovered quickly, restructuring the team so that they were the snipers for this round.  Once the whistle sounded, he ran up to the upper levels and wedged himself into a corner where he could see anyone trying to come at him.  Alone, he could finally speak freely.  

“Nope, still nothing.  Also, I vote that the next time we come to Terra Neon, it’s to have fun.  Today has been a real drag,” he said, shooting a blue team member who had immediately shown up looking to take out the snipers.

“Finn, where are you?  Why’d it take so long for you to answer?”

“I think the better question, Piper, is where are you?”

So he could avoid it like the plague….

“Right now?  Outside the theatre.  Now answer the question.”

“I’m near the carousel.”

“Really?  I’m near the carousel, and I don’t see you,” Aerrow said.

“Uhhh….”

“Finn!” Piper said disapprovingly.

“Okay!  I stopped to play a game of laser tag.  I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lied.  As soon as the game ends, I’m heading right back outside.”

He winced to himself.  Technically, he wasn’t lying?

He heard Aerrow sigh through the earpiece.  “Listen, at this point, I don’t think that the intel we got was right.  So how about this?  Stay undercover, keep a lookout for Cyclonians, but if there’s anything fun you wanna do, go ahead and do it.”

“Dude, do you mean that?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re the best!”

“Thanks, Aerrow!” Piper said, all traces of her earlier irritation gone.

The line went quiet again.  

Finn grinned to himself.  “Alright, time to bag me some-” 

The whistle blew.

“Aww, man!”

~*~*~

She was in a pretty good mood as they left the arena, her team having absolutely slaughtered the blue team in back-to-back matches.  

“So, what kind of logistics business does your family run that requires you to know battle tactics and strategy?” Felix asked her teasingly.

“Just one of the many perks of a classical education,” she joked.  “Where'd you learn to shoot like that?”

“Well, since you asked,” he smirked, “follow me.”

He led her to the carnival game section of the park and right up to one of the booths.  It was one where you shoot little duck targets as they move along a conveyor belt.  

“Seriously?” she laughed.

“Hey, don't knock it until you try it,” he said, slapping down enough money to buy them into the game.

They spent the next hour playing every game there.  Felix won a stuffed bunny that was nearly as big as he was.  He asked the game operator if he could leave it there and return for it later, and the man gave him a ticket to bring back when he was ready to claim it.

“What're you going to do with that thing?”

“It's for my brother.  He was disappointed he couldn't come today.”

She couldn't help but smile a little at that.  Felix seemed like a genuinely good guy; she was glad they had met.  He'd made the day a lot more fun than it would have been if she had spent it alone.

She won a goldfish from the last game they played.  She emulated Felix, asking if she could claim it at the end of the day, and was given her own ticket.

“You did say you wished you had a pet,” Felix grinned.

“I said I don't have time to take care of a pet!”

“Well, you're in luck, ‘cause none of these fish look like they're gonna live past the end of next week, anyway,” he pointed out, and she scoffed.

The next couple of hours went by in a flurry of more rides.  They’d ridden the bumper skimmers, the carousel (where she had managed to snag a brass ring, winning a free ride), a ride that took you to the top of a tall tower and let you free fall from there, braking just a meter or two before hitting the ground, and the roller coaster for a third time.

Around sunset, they decided to go on the Ferris wheel.  The cars faced west, giving them a spectacular view.  She found herself enraptured as the disappearing sun painted the sky and the surrounding clouds orange, pink, and purple.  “It’s beautiful,” she breathed.  

“Yeah,” he agreed.  He didn’t sound like he found it nearly as impressive as she did.  Then again, why would he?  On Terra Rex, with its clear blue skies, he’d probably seen hundreds of sunsets like this before.  Maybe even thousands.  Still, he didn’t tease her over her enthusiasm, and his smile was soft when she glanced over at him.  At some point, he’d managed to drape his arm around her shoulders without her noticing.  She was surprised to find that she didn’t mind.  She was even more surprised when, without even thinking about it, she leaned into him.

~*~*~

Finn tried to play it cool when Andy leaned into him, which wasn’t easy when his heart was pounding as hard as it was.  He really hadn��t been sure if she’d welcome his arm around her or not.  Sure, he thought they’d had a lot of fun together, but did she feel the same way?  Then there was the fact that he was lying to her about everything: who he was, where he was from, what he did for a living.  He felt really guilty about that, even more than he had when he had lied to Aerrow and Piper.  It was almost bad enough to convince him to keep his hands to himself.  

But then they had gotten to the top of the Ferris wheel, and she had gotten lost in the beauty of the sunset, and she just looked so….

Pretty, for sure, but it was more than that.  It was like walls he hadn’t even noticed were there before had disappeared, and he was seeing a side of her that not many people got to see.  Yes, she could be standoffish, sarcastic, hyper-competitive, and downright terrifying at times.  He didn’t think any of that was a front.  She was definitely all of those things.  But right now, she just looked so vulnerable.  And a little sad, like she was seeing something she really wanted but couldn’t have.  And it made him want to put his arm around her even more than he already did, to be her shield while hers were down.  

He had expected her to reject him; he really had.  He’d expected her to pull away, push his arm off of her, and make some kind of comment that would pour ice water all over these new feelings.  So when she leaned into him instead….

Oh boy.

This was bad.  

It made his whole body feel like it was buzzing.  And his heart was beating too hard.  And he was very aware of all the places her body pressed against his.  And she was warm?  He wasn’t sure why he was surprised by that.  Maybe because of the times she’d looked at him in a way that made a chill go down his spine?  That was probably it.  She gave off cold vibes.  But not now.  Definitely not now.

And it wasn’t fair, man, because this wasn’t real.  It’d never be real because, at the end of the day, he would go back to the Condor and give the Chroma Crystal back to Piper.  He’d go back to being Finn, not Felix, and never see Andy again.  Or if he did, he wouldn’t be able to tell her who he was.  She’d never want to talk to him again if she knew that he had spent all day lying to her.

The ride ended too soon.  He asked her if she wanted to grab dinner, she said yes, and then she took his hand!  His palm prickled as it pressed against hers, but he didn’t let go.

~*~*~

Something had happened up there on the Ferris wheel.  Cyclonis wasn’t sure what.  Felix’s whole demeanour had shifted.  He seemed anxious, upset even.  Had she done something to mess things up between them?  She couldn’t think of anything.  Then again, he wouldn’t be the first person she’d ever upset without intending to.  It was frustrating when that happened.  She much preferred upsetting people on purpose.  

Comforting others wasn’t really her strong suit, but she decided to try, reaching out to take his hand.  He clung to it like he never wanted to let go.  Okay.  Not something she’d done, then.  Good to know.  After a few minutes of walking in silence, she decided to come out and ask him about it.  “Are you okay?  You seem unhappy.”

He seemed to debate with himself whether or not to answer her question.  “It’s just…do you think we’re ever going to see each other again?”

Oh.

“Probably not,” she admitted.  Her chest felt too tight when she said that, and she realized that she wished it wasn’t true.  She just wasn’t sure how to make that happen short of kidnapping him, which was an option she disregarded immediately.  That wouldn’t go over well.  Besides, she’d only known him for a day.  She wasn’t even sure she liked him well enough to keep him forever.  

But what other options were there, really?  She couldn’t keep playing the part of ‘Andy’ indefinitely.  And a Free Atmosian, especially one from Terra Rex, probably wouldn’t be thrilled to learn that the girl he’d spent the entire day with was the Master of Cyclonia.  She couldn’t tell him that, he’d freak out, and that would ruin this perfectly good night.

No, they definitely weren’t going to see each other again.  Which was why they might as well make the most of the time they had left.  Which was what she told him next.  He had thought about that for a minute or two as they walked before nodding his acceptance.  

“I guess that’s the best way to look at it,” he agreed.

~*~*~

Strangely, Finn felt better after their talk.  It made things easier, knowing that this was a casual, one-day-only thing and that they were both okay with that.  Not that a part of him wasn’t still disappointed about that, and he could tell that a part of her was, too.  But it was better this way.  Way less complicated, too.  

The easy companionship they had shared for most of the day returned.  Neither of them was starving, so they each just got a corndog and another soda for dinner, not even bothering to sit down.  They ate as they walked, just taking in the sights and sounds of Terra Neon at night when the place really got to show off the lights it was named for.  When they were finished and had found a trash bin to toss their corndog sticks into, they went back to holding hands.  

They stumbled upon Ghost Carrier, the haunted dark ride, and Andy insisted they go on it.  He balked at first.  She really wanted to go on a scary ride?  After dark?  

“It’s a dark ride.  What difference does it make if we go on it during the day or at night?” she reasoned.

“Because at night, it’s still going to be dark after we get off the ride!”

“If you don’t want to go on it, that’s fine.  I can go by myself,” she sighed.

He gave her an unimpressed stare.  “That’s low, even for you,” he told her, and she laughed.  “Fine, let’s go.”

The ride ended up being eventful.  Tense music played throughout the entire thing, though it did nothing to drown out the various screams, growls, howls and maniacal laughter that punctuated every animatronic jump scares.  So many jump scares!  The music did nothing to drown out his screams, either.  

They emerged at the end with him clinging to Andy.  He’d practically crawled right into her lap by the end of the ride.  She had her face pressed against his shoulder, her own shaking as she laughed herself silly, he guessed at his expense.  So that’s where the maniacal laughter had been coming from.  

“I hope you’re happy,” he told her once they had escaped from the ride’s demonic clutches.

“Oh, I am,” she said smugly.  

They stopped by a food cart to get dessert, then walked some more until they found a quiet little spot by a water ride.  Not many people ventured into this section of the park after dark.  They leaned against the fence that separated the walkway from the manmade river, staring out over the dark water for a few minutes while they finished their churros.  Once they were both done, he leaned over and nudged her with his shoulder.  She turned to lean back against the fence, smiling at him.  “What?” she asked, making it sound like she already knew the answer to that question.  

He pushed away from the fence, moving to stand in front of her.  Reaching out, he tucked a strand of hair that had escaped her braid behind her ear, grinning.  He hoped his grin didn’t look as awkward as it felt.  “So, uh, when you said we could make the most of the time we had left….”

Her smile turned into something dangerously close to a smirk.  Dangit!  He knew his grin looked awkward!  “Well, maybe not the most,” she said.  Did she sound nervous?  Why would-

What she meant caught up to him, and he blushed furiously.  He hoped it was dark enough to hide it.  “Dude, no!  No, no, I know that!” 

They both laughed.

“I didn’t expect that,” he assured her.  “I am so not ready for that.  But I would really like to kiss you.”

She nodded encouragingly, and he leaned forward, closing his eyes as he pressed his lips to hers.  It was a gentle kiss, and after a moment, he pulled back, looking at her to make sure they were both still cool with this.

“I think we can do better than that,” she said, and he grinned.  Emboldened by her egging him on, he leaned back in for a more adventurous kiss this time.  That one kiss turned into many kisses before they decided that they should head back towards the main part of the park before it closed.  

That had been a lot of fun.  There had been a few less-than-great moments.  Neither of them had much (okay, any) experience kissing someone like that, after all.  Unsurprisingly, Andy was not shy about letting him know when he was ‘being gross.’  He retaliated by letting her know when she was ‘not being gross enough.’  That nearly ended things right then and there, but they were able to laugh it off.  They were never going to do this again, after all.  They didn’t have to take it too seriously.  In the end, they had both learned a thing or two and enjoyed themselves, which was their goal all along.

He collected Junko’s stuffed bunny rabbit, then walked Andy over to the ring toss booth to pick out her goldfish.  She chose one that was all black, with creepy googly eyes and a permanent frown.  Y’know what?  It suited her.  

“What’re you going to name it?” he asked as they went into a nearby store that they were told sold goldfish stuff.

“It’s a fish, it doesn’t need a name.”

“Aww, come on, every pet needs a name!  Wait, I’ve got it!  Gillbert.  With two L’s.  Get it?”

She snorted, shaking her head.  He watched her pick out a twenty-gallon tank, which he thought seemed a little excessive for one goldfish, but she insisted.  The store clerk agreed with her, saying that the type of goldfish she had chosen was larger than your average goldfish and needed extra space.  Andy had given him such a smug look at that.  She picked out purple and black gravel to line the tank, several scraggly-looking fake plants, and a haunted castle ornament big enough for the fish to hide inside.  A tank filter, aquarium maintenance kit, and fish food soon joined the pile.

“All this for a fish that’s gonna be dead in a week?”

She shrugged.  “Might as well make it the best week of its life.”

“Are you going to be able to carry all that?” “I’ll manage.”

Loaded up with bags, she led him back outside.

“Do you want me to walk you back to your ship?” he asked her.

She shook her head.  “I’ll be okay on my own.”

There was an awkward silence as they stared at each other.  He put down the stuffed bunny and gestured for her to do the same with her bags.  Once their hands were free, he stepped forward and gave her a hug.  

“Today was fun.  I’m not gonna forget it,” he told her.

“Me neither,” she said, hugging him back.  They both took a step back when he let go.  “Well, have a nice life,” she told him, which made him laugh.

“You, too,” he said.  Picking up the stuffed animal, he made his way back to the Condor.

~*~*~

Cyclonis watched Felix walk away.  When he was out of sight, two of her plain-clothes Talons materialized from wherever it was they had been lurking.  She picked up Gillbert while the Talons gathered the rest of her bags and followed her back to their ship.  

She was all too aware that they had seen everything that had transpired between her and Felix that day.  That was confirmed when she noticed that one of them couldn’t quite hide the way the corners of his mouth twitched up every time he glanced at her.  A pointed look from her sobered him right up.

“You will not breathe a word about today to anyone,” she commanded.

“Of course, Master,” they said in unison.

~*~*~

“Have a fun night?” Aerrow asked as Finn sauntered into the room with a grin he just couldn’t shake.

“You know it!  Where’s Junko?”

“In the engine room with Radarr.”

Shooting him a thumbs up, he headed to the engine room.  “Junko, buddy, got you something,” he said as he handed off the gigantic rabbit.

“Aww, thanks, Finn!  You didn’t have to do that!”

“I know, but I felt bad you’ve been cooped up here all day.  Anyway, I’m beat.  Gonna head to bed.  G’night.”

“Night!” 

“G’night, Radarr.”

Instead of wishing him a good night, Radarr sniffed at the air, looking a little confused.  Shrugging it off, he headed for his room.  Surprisingly, Radarr followed.

“Uh, you okay?” he asked the little guy as Radarr barged into his room right on his heels.  There was no answer as Radarr scaled him like he was a tree, sniffing at him carefully.  Suddenly, Radarr squawked, his hackles rising as he leapt back down to the floor, chittering and pointing accusingly at him.

“Whoa, slow down.  What’s the problem?”

Radarr pointed to him again.

“I….”

Radarr nodded, then dramatically mimed sniffing, looking disgruntled.

“I smell?  Gee, thanks, Radarr.  Listen, I’m too tired to shower right now.  I’ll be sure to do that first thing in the morning.”

Self-consciously, he sniffed himself, just to make sure it wasn’t an emergency.  He didn’t smell anything.

Radarr shook his head, stomping his foot.  

“I don’t smell?”

Radarr made a so-so gesture.  How was he supposed to interpret that?

“I kinda smell?”

Another head shake.

“I smell like something?”

Radarr nodded emphatically.

“Okay?  Oh, wait!  I smell like someone?” he guessed.  Another nod.  “Okay, listen, I kinda met someone today, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell any of the guys.  It didn’t…well, it’s not going to work out.”

Radarr smacked his forehead, then really started carrying on.  He had no idea what Radarr was saying, but he knew a lecture when he heard one.

“Seriously, what is your problem?  I hung out with a girl.  It’s not a big deal.”

Radarr was growing more frustrated by the second.  Finally, he put his hands up to his shoulders, fingers pointing upward.

“Feathers?”

Radarr rolled his eyes and tried something else, rubbing his hands together menacingly while doing a pretty good job imitating sinister laughter.

“Evil villain?”

Radarr touched his nose.

“Radarr, I don’t….” he trailed off as what Radarr was trying to tell him hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Dude….”

Radarr chirped yes.

“Dude, no!”

Radarr chirped yes again.

Suddenly, so much about Andy made sense.  And didn’t make sense!  How could he have spent the entire day with Cyclonis and not know it?  How could he have spent the entire day with Cyclonis and have fun?  

His knees went weak, and he sat down hard on his bed.  He had made out with her!  It was too much.  This was all too much.

“I need to lie down,” he told Radarr, who by now looked more concerned than angry.  “Please, Radarr, just keep this to yourself.  I didn’t know!”

Radarr sighed and waved a hand like, ‘Fine, they won’t hear about it from me.’  Then he awkwardly patted him on the knee before leaving the room.

Finn stared at the ceiling, way too many thoughts swirling through his head.  Well, he had told Andy…Cyclonis…that this had been a day he’d never forget.  And he sure as heck wasn’t going to forget it now!

He wondered if she had known who he really was and decided she hadn’t.  She wasn’t that good an actor.  And she hadn’t tried to recruit him to her cause or anything.  And if there had been any Cyclonian attacks anywhere, Aerrow would have told him, so this hadn’t been some elaborate plot to keep them distracted.  So, what?  She had come here in disguise to have a fun day out?  And had been as clueless about his identity as he had been about hers?

He grinned a little.  Oh, he was so going to use this the next time they came up against her.  He couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when he did.  If he had to live with this knowledge, then he was damn sure going to make sure that she had to live with it, too.

#storm hawks #storm hawks fanfic #storm hawks finn #storm hawks master cyclonis #and now for something completely different #fluffy #a little shippy #storm hawks finn/cyclonis #with a twist

[petit-etoile]

Its a bit of a prompt request, but one you probably won’t expect.

Would you write something with ur tav and astarion? Im rlly curious on the relationship for these two < v <

i  decided  to  do  this  a  little  bit  differently  &  make  it  mostly  a  headcanon  post,  because  i  feel  like  there  is  still  a  lot  that  is  undecided  for  me !!  the  reason  this  is  a  headcanon  post  rather  than  a  little  ficlet  is  mostly  because  aerea's  class  changes  depending  on  my  mood  ( she  went  from  being  a  cleric  of  selûne  to  being  a  thief-assassion  to  being  a  bladesinger  to  now  being  a  blood  hunter )  but  there  are  some  consistencies  to  their  "story"  that  don't  change  for  me  based  on  the  incarnation  of  aerea  i'm  playing:

aerea  is  a  young  elf  only  around  sixty-four  years  of  age.  she's  reincarnated  ( &  this  is  where  i  either  don't  know  enough  of  actual  dnd  lore  or  am  choosing  to  ignore  it )  &  her  soul  was  plucked  by  bhaal  to  be  corrupted.  the  emperor  appears  to  her  as  her  "ancestor".

astarion  knew  her  in  her  previous  life  when  they  were  both  young !!  they  were  "courting"  &  one  of  their  major  memories  together  is  that  aerea  &  astarion  crafted  perfumes  for  one  another  as  a  gift.  because  astarion  is  undead  &  can  no  longer  access  meditation  to  remember  his  past,  he  only  understands  that  he  recognizes  aerea's  scent  but  doesn't  know  why.  aerea's  memories  are  corrupted  by  bhaal  so  she  doesn't  understand  why  she  knows  astarion  either.

aerea  starts  off  the  journey  very  one-note  and  monotonous,  hardly  reacting  to  anything  that  is  thrown  at  her  until  the  death  of  alfira  which  shakes  her  so  much  that  astarion  becomes  suspicious  of  her.  her  "true"  personality  doesn't  come  out  until  act  iii  where  she  slowly  begins  laughing  &  finally  opening  up  to  the  others  even  though  she  does  have  a  minor  heroic BSOD  episode.

aerea  is  a  very  nervous,  very  afraid  person.  when  faced  with  the  choice  to  take  the  noblestalk  herself  or  give  it  to  shadowheart,  she  practically  insists  shadowheart  takes  it  so  that  aerea  doesn't  have  to  face  her  memories  of  whatever  it  is  that  she  did  before  her  memories  were  taken  away.  she  is  shaken  after  the  death  of  alfira,  being  in  moonrise  towers  makes  her  physically  ill  &  she  is  inconsoable  after  her  fight  with  orin.

i  need  to  find  the  tiktok  user  who  said  this  first  so  i  can  credit  them,  but  aerea  becomes  the  chosen  of  jergal  which  is  how  she  she  becomes  immortal.  elves  already  live  long  lives,  but  this  comforts  astarion  more  than  it  comforts  aerea  &  puts  them  in  a  better  place  relationship  wise  as  no  one  has  to  fret  about losing  the  other.

in  the  moonlight  (my  darling,  do  not  fear)  is  heavily  inspired  by  aerea/astarion !!  she  does  get  severely  injured  fighting  the  orthon,  but  the  suggestion  that  astarion  ought  to  drink  her  blood  as  she  dies  actually  comes  from  aerea  rejecting  bhaal.  she  panics  while  dying  &  begs  astarion  to  do  it  as  she  has  no  idea  jergal  is  about  to  resurrect  her.  he  almost  obliges,  but  jergal  saves  the  day.

aerea  helps  astarion  become  "a  better  person"  by  helping  humanize  him.  astarion  rebuilds  aerea's  lost  confidence  &  although  it  means  abstaining  from  being  a  dastard,  he's  slowly  able  to  see  who  she  has  before  the  possession  from  bhaal.  she  begins  laughing  again  ( &  he  learns  she enjoys  poetry  [ he  begins  writing  some ]  &  cats  [ they  own  two !! ]  &  raising  children  [  they  reopen  cazador's  mansion  as  an  orphanage  post-endgame ].  they  raise  yenna  until  they  very  end  of  her  lifespan.

they  get  privately  married  the  night  astarion  takes  her  to  his  grave !!  they  exchange  rings  &  perfumes.  they  get  married  again  in  obnoxious  elven  fashion.  karlach  is  there  because  i  said  so  ( they  found  a  wish  scroll. )

#astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion x tav #astarion x oc #from ，carcosa . #pandimoostuff #i actually love them so much #i just commissioned more art of them #my headcanon

[gossipsnake]

TIMING: Late November LOCATION: Anita & Metzli's House PARTIES: Anita (@gossipsnake) and Cass (@magmahearts) SUMMARY: Cass stops by Anita's house looking for Metzli and the pair realize just how many mutual friends they have. CONTENT WARNINGS: N/A

Cass wasn’t usually one to drop by unannounced. She feared her presence being unwanted, was terrified of being turned away at the door if her timing was inconvenient — if she was inconvenient. But Metzli had been so adamant that Cass was never a problem to them, and… maybe there was some part of her that wanted to test that theory. To press against the limitations of their dynamic, to determine how much of it was true. It would hurt less if Metzli told her they didn’t want her around now instead of later, she told herself. It would be easier.

So she stood outside the door of the massive house, steeling herself for a rejection she hoped wouldn’t come. She paused momentarily before rapping her knuckles against the door, pulling her hands away and folding them behind her back as she waited for it to open. “I know you didn’t message me or anything,” she said when the door began to swing open, “but I was nearby and I just thought — Oh, you’re not Metzli.”

It definitely wasn’t Metzli. Cass blinked at the stranger, taking her in. Metzli had mentioned a roommate, hadn’t they? “Um. Hi?”

—

Things were complicated at home for Anita lately. Just as she had been starting to open up to her roommate they ran away and isolated themselves from her, and the rest of the world. Ignoring how it made her feel was fine at first but then the emptiness began to grow more apparent with each day she lived alone in that massive house. Now they were back… but in physicality only. Things were different and Anita didn’t know how to handle it all. It wasn’t long before she was longing for the same empty house she used to hate. 

The knock on the door was unexpected that afternoon and for a moment Anita considered ignoring whomever it was. But, like it often did, her curiosity got the better of her. As she pulled the large wooden door open, whoever was on the other side had already started talking. It wasn’t a voice she recognized and soon she was looking at a woman she didn’t recognize. “Thankfully, no. I’m not Metzli.” 

It made sense that they would have a life outside of what Antia was involved in, but Anita didn’t often think about those parts of her roommate’s life. “Hi,” she responded back with a slightly forced smile, not exactly sure what to expect. “What do you need with Metzli?” 

Metzli had spoken of a roommate before in passing but, to be honest, Cass didn’t know much about her beyond the bare basics. She was sure Metzli had told her the woman’s name at some point, but she didn’t remember it. There was a flash of guilt at that, a hint of uncertainty. She wondered if her friend had told their roommate about her, too, or if she was a stranger in a way that this woman wasn’t. Cass, at least, knew of the roommate’s existence. She had no idea if that was a thing that went both ways.

She shifted her weight from foot to foot, immediately becoming hyperaware of everything about herself. Even the things she didn’t usually care about seemed like flashing lights of wrongness. Her tangled hair, the fact that she hadn’t showered since the last time she’d gone to Alex’s cabin, the way her clothes were as dirty as you’d expect someone’s clothes to be when they lived in a cave in the woods. 

She rubbed uncertainly at the back of her neck. “Hi,” she said again. “Um, I’m Cass. Metzli is my… friend.” Was that the right word? She wasn’t sure what Metzli would want her to call them, not really. “We hang out sometimes? We went to the zoo together, when the baby giraffe was being born. And I’ve been here for dinner with Metzli and Leila, but you weren’t here. But, um, I’ve heard of you! Their roommate, right?” She hoped the stranger would provide her with a name. 

It shouldn’t have been surprising that Metzli would have found a friend to do sickeningly normal things with, like going to the zoo to watch baby animals be born. It shouldn’t have been surprising that they had built a bond with someone else. Then again, maybe it wasn’t surprise that Anita was feeling. Maybe it was, fittingly, a much greener emotion. No, that couldn’t be right either, she told herself. 

Perhaps it was a protective instinct that was brewing beneath the surface. With everything that was going on with Metzli right now, Anita wasn’t sure that she should just trust anyone who came around and awkwardly declared themselves to be friends with the vampire. “You’ve eaten dinner here?” What the hell did a vampire and a mare offer up to someone for dinner? Maybe this stranger also had an … unusual diet. 

Her curiosity was piqued enough to not just shut the door on the other’s face. Shifting her weight a bit into a slightly more relaxed posture, Anita extended her hand to Cass, “But yes, I’m the roommate. Anita.” Maybe, if she was really a friend of theirs, Metzli would be proud of Anita for being friendly. “They aren’t home right now. Something I can help you out with?” 

Metzli’s roommate — Anita — seemed tense. With everything going on, it was hard to blame her. If she’d been relaxed with a stranger knocking on her door, Cass would have been the suspicious one. She wondered if Metzli spoke about her, if they’d told Anita about her the way they’d evidently told the warden in the museum. Was Cass someone spoken of only when there was a threat to be dealt with? Or was she the kind of friend Metzli spoke of fondly regardless? She was afraid to hope for the latter.

“A few times. Sometimes just us, sometimes with other people.” She wouldn’t mention Nora by name, if only because she knew Nora preferred not to have her name mentioned at all. It meant Metzli likely wouldn’t have shared it with Anita, either, so name-dropping her certainly wouldn’t prove anything.

Shifting her weight, she offered Anita her winningest smile. “They talk about you. You seem cool, you know, from what they’ve said.” Anita seemed fun, given how much she annoyed Metzli. At the revelation that the vampire wasn’t home, Cass nodded. She’d sort of figured as much. “That’s okay. I just… wanted to check up on them. With everything going on, you know? I’ve been kind of worried. Really worried, actually.” 

Whether it was truthful or not, Anita was just vain enough to put quite a bit of stock in the compliment, “I am very cool.” She responded quickly before she realized just how un-cool that sounded and scrunched her nose up, “Or, well, fuck… just broke the cardinal rule of coolness there, huh?” Being, of course, that acknowledging that one is cool is never cool. “Anyway, you’re obviously quite perceptive.” 

Not that she was in any manner an expert on the emotion, but the concern that carried through Cass’ voice as she spoke about being worried about Metzli sounded genuine. Anita understood what she was feeling. She thought about what to do next: let her in and chat until Metzli hopefully returned or turn her away. In her moment of consideration something clicked in the back of her mind, like her brain had been trying to piece together information in the background. “Cass,” she said the name with a hint of recognition this time. “Wait, you’re Alex’s girlfriend, right? Aren’t I supposed to give you a bug lesson?” 

The coincidence seemed too significant to ignore. Whoever this woman was, if it was indeed the same woman, she had gained the trust of two people that Anita trusted… that warranted giving her a chance. “Vamos,” she said, opening the front door a bit wider. “You can wait till they come home, if you’d like. 

_____

Cass let out a little laugh, shrugging a shoulder. “I think the coolest people know they’re cool. The whole ‘fake modesty’ thing is kind of lame.” Cass preferred honesty. She liked straightforwardness, liked it when people said what they meant and meant what they said. It was part of why she liked Metzli so much. The vampire was a lot of things, but they’d never been a liar, never told Cass anything untrue. So of course Anita was cool; Metzli had said she was, and Metzli didn’t lie.

Which made her all the more uncertain about whether or not Metzli had told Anita about her. If they’d said nothing, was it because they had nothing kind to say and didn’t want to lie? They wouldn’t pretend to care about her if they didn’t — that was lying, too — but Cass couldn’t help but wonder if she’d overestimated that level of care. It was a concern that had lived within her since Metzli’s temporary departure, that old whisper of not enough always growing louder no matter how she tried to quiet it. Alex seemed a safer subject. Alex had never left her, after all, so she smiled. “Yeah! Alex’s girlfriend. You’re — Wait, you’re the same Anita who’s a bug professor?” She’d never put two and two together before now.

She smiled as Anita opened the door, entering the house with a spring in her step and a familiarity in her posture. She’d been here so many times before, that it felt the same as Alex’s cabin or Ariadne’s apartment. Not quite home, not the way the cave was, but something close to it. “What are you up to? Do you, uh… Do you want to hang out with me? While I wait.”

—

Had the words come out of her own mouth Anita would have thought the comment was sarcastic, but there was something in the tone that Cass used that implied some authenticity. Maybe that was fitting since she was friends with Metzli who had an open disdain for lying. Even the fun lies. 

“One and the same. Did Metzli not mention that when they were talking about how amazing and cool I am? How many Anita’s do you think live in this town?” Maybe she could learn a bit more about what her roommate tells people about her. It seemed to be mostly positive, which was a pleasant surprise. “Clearly they are leaving out the best stuff if you didn’t know about the bugs.” 

After shutting and locking the front door behind them, Anita glided across the foyer back towards the main living room area. There was something so familiar about the way the question was posed. The type of familiarity that stung softly and ached to be forgotten. “I was just grading some lab reports. Boring shit. I can hang out.” How did one hang out with their roommate's friend who was also their student's girlfriend? Opting for comfort she went over and plopped herself down on a couch, “So, how’d you meet Metzli? They don’t get out much.” 

__

“They didn’t really talk about your job,” Cass replied with a shrug. That kind of thing wasn’t important to Cass, and either Metzli knew that or it just wasn’t that important to them, either. Either way, they hadn’t said what Anita did for a living, and Cass hadn’t asked. Maybe it was more fun to find out this way, from Anita herself. “I don’t know how common the name Anita is. Maybe there are a lot of people with that name here.”

She hummed, shrugging a shoulder. “Or maybe they thought you’d want to tell me about the bugs yourself.” An opening for Anita to talk about something she was clearly passionate about, if she wanted it. Cass liked that, liked hearing people talk about things that they loved. If you closed your eyes and let yourself imagine long enough, sometimes you could pretend the adoration in their tone was for you. 

Cass followed Anita into the house, that familiarity still clinging to every step she took. The uncertainty that lurked beneath it had less to do with the house and much more to do with the woman she was just meeting in person for the first time, for all the unsaid things that lurked there. Anita struck her as the blunt type — the sort of person who would make it known if she didn’t want to hang out with Cass. So when she said she would, it felt good. Cass couldn’t help but grin. “Cool,” she said, plopping down beside her. “Oh, we met online. I, uh… I don’t think they liked me much at first. But they warmed up, you know? It just took a while.”

—

The literalness of the responses wasn’t what Anita was used to when dealing with students her age. It was curious. “I’m not quite sure how common it is either, I suppose. Never met another Anita in this town thus far.” She didn’t feel the need to add that she had met a fair amount of the women that lived in town. “You’re giving them too much credit there, I think. They likely just didn’t think it was important. Which works out just fine - since we were going to meet up for an insect lesson anyway. I don’t have all the trappings of the campus labs here, but I could certainly give you a basic lesson. Enough to vaguely impress your girlfriend, I’m sure.” 

Despite spending a great deal of time dealing with the younger generation through her job it didn’t really prepare Anita for this type of interaction. There were clear roles at work:  professor and student. The casualness of the two of them, sat in her living room, invoked thoughts of her younger sisters - sisters she had not seen since they were about Cass’ age. Sisters she did not think would care to sit and have a conversation with her.  “I don’t think they like anyone much at first. They’re… guarded.” 

That was the inherent dichotomy between the two of them - Anita was superficially open which resulted in superficial connections. Metzli didn’t let just anyone in, making the bonds they seemed to have with those they did let in seem real and profound. “Which, I’m sure you know since you’ve clearly made it past that guard. I didn’t even know they had dinner parties here.” 

__

“Would you want to?” There was a genuine curiosity to the question. Did people like meeting others with the same names as them, or did it make them feel unimportant, irrelevant, one of many? Cass had never met another Cassidy, though she enjoyed reading Batman comics about Cass Cain, felt some pride in the shared name there. Maybe there was a sense of belonging to it. Maybe it would be nice. “They probably didn’t,” she agreed with a shrug. “They like to focus on other things, I think. Jobs are kind of boring, most of the time. I don’t think anyone should define themselves by them.” She’d rather be defined for what she loved than how she made her money… though that may have had something to do with the way she made her money through methods that she disliked. Stealing wasn’t exactly a thing to be proud of. 

Grinning at the idea of getting her insect lesson here and now, a bit sooner than expected, Cass nodded. “She’ll still know more than I do, but I think she’ll think it’s cool if I know something. I like making her think I’m cool.” Not that it was difficult. Alex loved Cass enough to think highly of her even when Cass wasn’t actively trying to impress her. It was the kind of thought that warmed her chest and made her feel light and airy. “That’s true,” she agreed, thinking of Metzli in the beginning of their friendship. It was certainly fair of them not to like her when she’d bound them, but she got the feeling she wasn’t the only one they disliked right away. 

But eventually, Metzli warmed up. To Cass, to others. It was a nice thing to see. She wondered if Anita thought about it, if she was pleased with it. “Sometimes we do them at Leila’s,” she replied. “It’s just… wherever works best that night. You know? They’re not very big, though.” Usually, it was just Cass, Leila, Metzli, and Nora. It felt like a family; Cass adored it entirely. “Maybe you can come to the next one, if you want.”

—

“Not really,” Anita responded without giving it much thought. Why would she want to meet another Anita? That would probably just make that weird other Anita feel bad for clearly being the inferior Anita. “Maybe true, but a lot of people define themselves by their careers. I don’t necessarily consider it the entirety of my identity, but you dedicate fifteen years of your life to one specific pursuit… it certainly becomes part of your identity, if not the whole thing.” Entomology was such a substantial part of Anita’s life and of her emancipation from the world she used to think was her only option that she couldn’t quite imagine not feeling a sense of identity with it, but she also recognized that not everyone had the same backstory with their chosen occupation. 

The offer felt forced and fake. In a rare moment of self reflection, Anita wondered if that feeling was accurate or if it was the manifestation of her own insecurities. After all, these events had been happening in her own home and yet this young woman didn’t even know Anita and neither Leila nor Metzli had offered for her to join before. It felt like a rejection even if it was never intended to be one. “Maybe. If I’m around. Usually tend to be kinda busy.” It would be more accurate to say she tended to, very intentionally, keep herself busy. 

Anita didn’t want to dwell on the pangs of self-doubt that she was beginning to feel so instead she walked over to the bookcase along the far wall and skimmed it for a moment before pulling out a few texts. “So what’s your science background like? Ever taken any natural science or biology courses before? Wanna know what sort of starting point we’re working with.” Returning to the couch, she placed a few of the introductory materials she grabbed down between the two of them before sitting down herself. “A lot of the basics are memorization, which is honestly very boring, but I always find that the things that stick with people are stories about how certain insects act. Are there any kinds of insects, or maybe parts of the world, that you feel connected to? We can start there and find some bugs that maybe you’ll feel drawn to.” 

_ 

That was fair, too, Cass decided; maybe it would get confusing if too many people had the same name. Maybe it would make it harder to understand who someone was talking about. Wouldn’t you want to know if someone meant you or a stranger when they said your name? Anita made a good point. Anita made a lot of good points, really; Cass nodded along as she spoke about careers and their importance, even if she felt a knot in her stomach at the thought. She’d never spent fifteen years on anything, had she? What was important to her identity? Sometimes, she wasn’t sure she had one at all. Cass liked to be whoever people needed her to be, but she didn’t know who she was when she was alone.

Disappointment curled in her chest when Anita didn’t immediately accept the offer. Would she have said yes if Cass weren’t on the list of attendees? If it were only Leila, Metzli, and Nora, would it be more tempting? Insecurity was a living thing in her chest, a monster with big teeth and a beating heart. Every thrum seemed to ask a question. Is it me? Am I okay? Am I doing it right? Voicing any of it aloud seemed too pathetic, so she bit her tongue. It was better this way, she thought.

It was much easier to focus on the science of it all. The bugs Anita taught Alex about, the things she knew about them. Cass wanted to know, too. Cass wanted to know everything, mostly because she thought Anita might like her more if she did. “I’ve never taken any classes,” she admitted, “but I know a lot about geology. Not so much other areas, but I’d love to learn more.” She considered what insects she might want to know more about, but the answer was always going to be the same. “What are your favorites? I think we should start there!”

—

Had Anita not been caught up in thinking about the connections, the little community, that Metzli had made without her - within the very home that she had built - she may have noticed the slight twinge of anxiety that bounced off of her house guest. She didn’t know Cass well enough to delve into the way she was feeling. In fact, there were increasingly few people she ever confided in. There was a subtle pang of longing that she felt in that moment, thinking back to the closeness she used to share with her younger sisters. So instead of addressing whatever she was feeling, her attention turned clinical. It turned to insects, like it always did. 

“Geology and entomology have some common ground, particularly when you start looking at prehistoric fossil records of insects. Which, admittedly, doesn’t quite excite me like being able to observe real insects…” As she kept talking there was an ease that came back over her. This was comfortable to Anita, jumping into the role of professor. It felt like she was regaining control over the situation and it was calming to start pseudo-lecturing about her favorite type of insects - beetles.

#para #cass #don't bug me #p:cass

[meritatem]

Once upon a time, Damian had an unfortunate encounter with Dubbilex while helping Supergirl. Despite his training, he was still behind his father when it came to resist mental manipulation and so, in order to break him, Dubbilex showed him where his worst fears laid: family and allies fallen under his feet, with his mother at his side, proud of him. It should've been a valuable lesson about himself, something enlightening that should've helped him to gain a better understanding of what he wanted from life, a starting line. Instead, he ignored it.

He couldn't keep ignoring it when he landed on the future and that scenario wasn't just a vision, but the brutal reality. Everybody was gone, his mother included. Ra's was the only one left and by the time Damian figured out how to get back, even his grandfather had beginning to beg for death.

While he worked to undo his mistake, he started, at some point, to conjure in his imagination versions of the long departed; he did it in an attempt to not lost his mind, even if, as time went on, it began to feel like the complete opposite. Pathetic lost robin, sometimes his own voice would said over the others, talking to make-believe ghosts.

It had been so ironic then, how much Damian talked to the Brown living in his mind, when the real one barely had any success in her efforts to make him open up. His biggest realization about Stephanie was recognizing how alike they had been at the time. Both of them were carrying heavy legacies on their shoulders, while failing to be what was expected of the identities they took: a chaotic Batgirl and a joyless Robin... but even then, Barbara and Dick had enough faith to pass on their names.  

Despite the fact that Damian will always think that being Robin was the best thing he had ever done, the truth was that he never believed he deserved it nor that he was adequate for it. And on occasion, when he talked to that imaginary Brown that sometimes presented in front of him wearing her Batgirl suit, he asked if she felt like that too.

Damian couldn't do anything about his regrets regarding Robin anymore, but he could do something for Stephanie.

That's why he originally planned to approach Gordon to offer his help in training Brown. Of course he was envisioning nothing but rejection at first, but Damian had no problems with being relentless and using any method at his disposition to make Barbara agree with him. Being presented with the possibility of jumping the cue in front of Gordon was too good to let it pass, because convincing Brown seemed like an easier task than persuading the first Batgirl.

With that idea in mind, he promised to keep quiet about Stephanie if she agreed to meet him the next day just to talk. Part of him was expecting for her to not show up, even when Stephanie seemed more willing after he told her that Pennyworth was going to be present, but luckily - because it meant he wasn't going to have to track Brown at her school again -, she was exactly in the spot where he told her to be, in the corner of an ordinary street, in the middle of the day.

The car Pennyworth was driving was pretty unremarkable, just one of the many in the lineup they had to move around the city without problems, so it was understandable for Stephanie to be confused when it stopped in front of her. The confusion disappeared as soon as Alfred lowered the tinted window, enough for her to get a good look at him.

“Good afternoon, Miss Stephanie.” He said, polite as ever.

“It is you!” She exclaimed, putting her right hand in the middle of her chest. “Thank god,” and she let out a deep breath. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you!”

“Rest assured, the feeling is entirely mutual, miss, I only wish this meeting was under different circumstances.”

“Yeah, no kidding, I really wasn't—oh!” She interrupted herself from what she was saying when the rear door abruptly opened, making her move to avoid getting hit.

“Enough chitchatting, get inside.”

Damian retreated to the right side, making space for Stephanie, who approached tentatively, placing a hand on the door's window and crouching low enough to peek inside, where Damian simply gave her an unenthusiastic look and after a few seconds of hesitation, she finally got in, closing the door behind her.

“Brown.” He greeted, with a small nod.

“Yes, hello, uhm,” she went silent for a second, looking briefly unsure. “Okay, I know Tim told me your name but I forgot. To be honest I was paying more attention to the part where you tried to kill him.”

Ah, classic Drake, always singing Damian's praises.

He made himself more comfortable, crossing his arms while Alfred started the car again. “It was a misunderstanding,” Damian said mechanically. “I grew up somewhere with well-defined rules and a rigid hierarchy system. While living there, I was expected to prove myself by removing anyone in a position I wished to occupy. I understand now that the outside world doesn't work like that, so worry not, I won't make the same mistake again, you have nothing to fear from me.”

“Those were a lot of words just now.”

“I consider myself a wordsmith, you'll get used to it.” Damian's arms were crossed, but after some contemplative seconds, he decided to uncross them to offer his hand in greeting. “I'm Damian.”

Brown eyed his hand like she was trying to find a hidden weapon, but ultimately she took it, giving it a firm shake despite everything. “Nice to meet you, again? You can call me Stephanie.” Damian just crossed his arms again, not adding anything else. “Okay, so, you didn't tell Barbara or Tim, right?”

“I didn't.”

“That's great!” But her expression didn't match her forced enthusiasm. “But why do you wanted to talk to me? Don't get me wrong, I love meeting new people but usually there's less blackmail involved.”

“I want to clarify some things, for a start. Where did you get the suit?”

“I didn't steal it if that's what you're implying,” and she was the one crossing her arms now, defensive. “Cass just... left it behind. She said she was fighting for Bruce but, you know, he's not here anymore so the fight is mine now, I guess.”

Damian kept silent, pondering this new information but deciding to left it for later. He took a deep breath, briefly thinking he'll have to get rid of that habit sooner or later and spoke as apathetic as he could. “You are undisciplined, unprepared and unimpressive.”

“Hey!” Was the instant complain.

“I understand Batgirl works as a separate entity from Batman, but it would be negligent of me to let you go into this battle of his as you are now.”

“What's that even supposed to mean?”

Alfred chose that moment to clear his throat before joining the conversation. “Master Damian believes in preserving his father's legacy. He also believes that said legacy doesn't live in aliases and masks, but people.”

“Tt!” He expressed with displeasure. “What Pennyworth is trying to say with unnecessary sentimentalisms, is that my father dragged people he shouldn't have into his war and it falls on me to take responsibility.” He made sure to look Stephanie directly in the eyes, trying to convey the importance of his next words. “You need direction, support and proper training. All of those I can provide.”

Stephanie frowned, looking stunned. She opened her mouth with a breath as to say something but closed it almost instantly, stopping herself.

At the sudden silence, Pennyworth interceded again. “Don't be fooled, Miss Stephanie, despite his age, Master Damian is a very skillful young man of keen intellect. I wholly and solely believe there's benefit to be gain, should you accept his proposal.”

Brown, properly dumbfounded, turned her head trying to catch Alfred's eyes in the rear-view mirror, but he was focused on the road; not knowing what else to do, she directed her gaze back to Damian, who only raised an eyebrow, nonchalant.

“Thank you for the offer but no thanks?” She finally uttered, at a loss. “No offense, I just don't see how that could it work, besides I really don't want Tim to know about this, I promised him I was going to stop with the vigilante stuff.”

“You seem to be under the wrong impression that I answer to Drake or Grayson. This is a private matter, Pennyworth will keep silent about it and so will I.”

Stephanie turned again to the front, vaguely gesturing towards Damian with her right hand with incredulity. “Alfred, are you reeally okay with that?”

Alfred took some seconds before answering, steady and composed. “Dick and Tim—“ he started with unusual informality. “Are in a very demanding position right now. No amount of years protecting this city would've prepared them for this ordeal, and the only thing we can do is to ease their hardships in any way we are able.” Alfred's voice stayed calm, conversational, like he was just making small talk instead and not about the difficulties they were facing. “I know by experience that we cannot stop you if your mind is truly set on this. Let us help instead.”

Damian hoped that Pennyworth's succinct words were more convincing than his, but it was hard to tell giving the fact that Brown still looked like a confused forest animal in the middle of the highway. In a way, it was entertaining seeing Brown like this, when he was used to her acting with more bravado, but he supposed she hasn't found her footing yet.

“How long has it been since Cain gave you the suit?”

Stephanie looked away, purposely avoiding Damian's eyes, which tell him everything he needed to know. “Like a... two weeks, technically.”

That explained why Brown seemed to be fumbling with her new role much more than he remembered. On the other hand, he had to commend Cain for remaining undetected, because just as he had been in the lookout for Todd, he searched for Cassandra too, coming to the conclusion that she must've left the city long before they moved to the penthouse. Knowing she had been there as recently as a week ago - more or less -, made him a bit unsatisfied with himself, because if he had known she was in the city, he would've redoubled his attempts to find her. Despite the missed chance, Damian knew he'd see her again and luckily for him, from all of his father's hellions, she was the only one he didn't need to worry about.

“Take your time and think about my offer,” he said almost as a dismissal, suddenly becoming more interested with looking at the window. “I don't require an answer today, but I do expect one eventually.” Almost coinciding with the finality of his words, the car gently stopped. “We're here.”

Promptly alert, Stephanie straightened in her seat, turning from side to side trying to recognize where they were. “Here where?”

“Antonella's Ice Cream Parlor.” Without waiting for an answer, Damian opened the door next to him. “Hurry up and get out, Pennyworth needs to park the car before joining us.”

“Ahm,” as it seemed to be her demeanor for this day, Brown hesitated for an instant before speaking. “At the ice cream place?”

“Of course.” He said it like it was the most obvious thing.

“Are we actually going in there? Like, to get ice cream?”

“I know my father attempted to train you,” he said, expression bored. “Don't make him the disservice of asking these kind of questions.”

“You could've just said yes,” Stephanie rolled her eyes. “And why are we getting ice cream? Are you doing field work right now?”

“No. We just had an uneasy talk for you, something to lift your spirits is due.”

For the second time Stephanie tried to say something while stopping before even uttering the first word, however her stupefaction was short-lived, because with jolt she started dragging herself towards Damian, who stepped aside to get out of her way.

“You know what? Fuck it! Let's get ice cream.”

“Miss Stephanie,” Alfred chastised swiftly. “Language, please.”  

“I know, sorry, sorry,” she said with a more lively tone than the one she had been using until that point. “Hope you know you're totally paying.” She announced to Damian as soon as she put the first foot outside.

“Obviously.”

“And I'm ordering the most expensive thing they have. Twice.”

“Naturally.”

When Brown finally stood next to Damian, she crossed her arms and watched in silence while the car drove away. “This is not how I was expecting this meeting to go.”

“The world is full of wonder.”

Damian's flat delivery made Stephanie's lips tremble slightly before succumbing to a smile given the ridiculous of her situation. “You're a strange little man.”

Unlike other times when Damian was called little, he decided not to take offense just this once, because at least Brown didn't call him a kid for a change.

The dreadful waiting for the opening of exhibition came to an end on a sunny Thursday.

Damian had not been stressing over this casual outing, that would be immature from his part... he was simply preoccupied with all the possibilities that could unfold during their time in the museum. He kept that to himself, choosing not to bother Pennyworth with it, given the fact that the man was already busy helping him with more important tasks, so whatever Damian's feelings were about this, they were at the most, frivolous.

Still, while he was getting ready, he wished he could tell Colin more about the not so heroic parts of his life. He wasn't in need of guidance, but he wanted to complain about the things he had to tolerate thanks to the fools his father welcomed in his folly; Jon had been so good at that, just hearing his grievances, even if most of the time he wasn't on his side of the argument. It was humorous, in a very mirthless way, how Damian spent all his life acting like he was above needing a friend to share his thoughts with and now here he was, longing for something so insignificant like having someone to tell that Grayson was an oaf. The irony of his circumstances, as always, didn't escape him. Fae contracts and Faustian deals.

He finished getting ready early than he intended, since he was eager to be done with this nonsense as soon as possible. Sadly, he was the only one in an imaginary hurry, so after sending Grayson a message stating he'll wait for him in the living room, once he was there, he went directly to the one armchair that was nearest to the window, deciding this was a good opportunity as any to take a dive into Todd's reading recommendation, choosing to start with Flower Fables. He was halfway the third tale, when he heard the murmur of voices he recognized as those of Alfred and Dick, becoming more clearer as they approached where he was.

Damian had been holding a bookmark between his left index and middle fingers, finally placing it on the page where he stopped reading, before closing the book and getting up, taking a few steps to leave it on the center table, crossing his arms behind his back almost at the same time Grayson and Pennyworth entered his field of vision.  

He gave Dick a once-over, arching his brows with something akin to disapproval. “You look like a Philosophy student. Disgraceful.”

All in all, Grayson's attire was acceptable, just casual clothing, with the only remarkable things being the fact that he was using a blond wig - with matching eyebrows -, under a beanie hat and glasses with a wide frame. It wasn't the worst attempt at a disguise he had seen from him, but it wasn't impressive either.

“I'll pretend I don't know you, so please stay six feet away from me.”

Inevitably, Dick cracked a smile at this. “You get meaner each day. And here I was about to compliment your outfit,” he turned to his side, looking at Alfred with amusement. “How much did you have to bribe him to put him on that?”

Alfred arched a single brow, his expression remaining neutral. “Master Damian dresses himself, I'd be concerned if he didn't at his age.”

“Uh,” for a moment he seemed surprised, but soon enough he was smiling again. “I should've seen this one coming. You finally got your wish, eh?”

“Good things come to those who wait, sir.”

Damian frowned, caving in and looking down to make sure the clothes he was wearing didn't magically change- stranger things have happened, after all -, but no, the black dress shoes, slacks and tie were still the same, just like the dark green V-neck sweater and the light grey button-up shirt underneath it.

“What's so noteworthy about my attire?” He asked, not knowing if he should feel affronted.

Most of his life, when it came to clothes, Damian had been more worried about their usefulness and practicality than anything else. In the past, Pennyworth used to be the one in charge of buying his clothes, leaving Damian with the choice to wear whatever he wanted, with the rare exceptions when some social gathering required a specific dress code.

Damian's interest in his own wardrobe changed after spending years being chained to a Batman suit, with some days feeling like the bat symbol was burning his chest through the layers of armor. Now that he was better established, just like he started to occupied himself with cooking and books, he decided to spare some of that effort for the contents of his closet. Nevertheless, he didn't feel that Pennyworth's initial selection varied drastically from the clothes he end up choosing for himself; he thought long about the kind of garments he had been more comfortable with, in his early years on Gotham and from there, he just picked things that he liked in those styles. Overall, just frivolous stuff that he only was paying attention to now, because he was committed to find out the mundane things he overlooked in his past life, if one could call it that. That's why he didn't understand the sudden fuss about some clothes he personally bought.

“Nothing,” was the annoying answer that Grayson merrily gave. “It's just an inside joke.”

Just like he had been done more and more, Dick extended a hand to ruffle Damian's hair, who didn't react, which was something he was proud of to achieve so quickly, because the first time it took him months to be able to relax around Grayson. “I dislike those.”

“I can give you all the context you need on the way.”

Damian wrinkled his nose before starting to walk. “I didn't say I want to understand.”

As he passed them, Dick turned again to Alfred, giving him a look that was a mix of amused exasperation. “Looks like we're off. Do you need anything? We can get it for you once we're done with the exhibition.”  

“Nothing at the moment, thank you. Please take care and remember that I expect you to be on your best behavior.”

“Don't worry, I'm sure Damian is not going to cause any problems.”

“I was talking to you, Master Richard.”

Fortunately for Damian - because he had a reputation to uphold -, Alfred and Dick were behind him, so they couldn't see the smile, almost childlike, he couldn't suppress at hearing Alfred's dry words.

The journey to the museum wasn't that terrible... because Damian carefully planned his words, strategizing his conversation topics like he was in the middle of an intelligence gathering operation. Since the moment he accepted to accompany Grayson, he spent the next days mentally preparing for this, trying to do as much control damage as possible in advance, because he knew that this little innocent daytrip was going to do unspeakable damage to his emotional state, how could it not? When spending time with Grayson felt like both, a punishment and a reward.

Regardless of his initial success, he had to admit that his interactions with Grayson were harder to navigate when they weren't fighting crime or conversing about their night lifestyle. Damian was avoiding talking about anything that could be considered “work” related, because he wanted Dick to have a respite from the heavy shadow of the bat that loomed over him, but it didn't mean he was having an easy time forcing himself to be as socially acceptable as possible. That's why he welcomed the sight of the museum when they reached their destination, eager to use it as buffer between him and Grayson.

Once they were inside, Damian examined the architecture now that he could see it in the daylight and whole, because the future hadn't been kind to locations like these one. Initially, when he came to Gotham, he didn't think much of its mixed architecture: the obnoxious art deco interlaced with soft art nouveau, drowning in a sea of gothic style edifications. It made for a somber city, which suited his father well.

Damian's fondness for Gotham's architecture was initially born out of necessity. Upon arriving in the wrong time, the only thing he had left of the life he knew were the foundations of the city. The more information he tried to absorb about, well, everything, made it clear that this enigmatical future version of him was, as Drake once said about him: “very overkill”, at least one had to be to go as far as to booby-trap every single prominent building in Gotham. In attempting to keep his mind from going astray, Damian not only talked to the dead, but he tried some other things, ordinary and desperate, like reading books from the remains of the library and actually checking out for them, hunting down the surviving bottles of what it became his preferred iced tea and sitting in dilapidated gargoyles, sketchbook in hands, looking at the crumbled city and restoring it to its former glory from memory in between the blank pages.

It was comforting in a way, looking now at the interior of the museum and seeing it so pristine if solemn in its design, because the last time Damian had been there in the day, they were only ruins left.

And as expected of an inauguration, the museum was full of people interested in the new display; usually Damian hated crowded places, but in this case, they provided convenient distraction, that's why he also didn't protest much to the guided tour Grayson got them into. In a way, he appreciated that Dick was willing to suffer this activity for him - as misguided as his attempts at bonding were -, so he did his best to pretend he wasn't bored while following the guide, mentally drowning her words while he was more focused on the Egyptian objects scattered on the wing.

There was everything one could expect to see in an exposition of such nature: colorful sarcophagus, statues of all kind of sizes, funerary masks, Canopic jars, weaponry, tablets, clothing, jewelry and everyday items. All of these things he was very well familiar with, given the kind of artefacts his grandfather collected through the centuries, even gifting him a set of khopesh that once belonged to some pharaoh Damian never bothered to remember his name.

By the time the tour was coming to an end, Damian's thoughts were far away, lost in the past that never was and the future that will never be, but then again, it wasn't unusual, because that's how he spend most of his waking moments, being his own Pythia, prophesizing tragedies and thinking of ways to prevent them. Just like his father. And it was that thought that made him finally snap from his musings, because from all the omens he was carrying with him, that was one he wanted to avoid most. Should his father be in his place at this precise moment, he would waste the entire visit daydreaming about his Batman's pursuits, instead of trying to enjoy the company; Grayson was sacrificing his free time for Damian, doing something he thought Damian would appreciate, so the least he could do was to at least be present, truly present, and not roaming in the corridors of his mind.

With this new purpose, Damian waited until their guide concluded the tour and as soon as they were dismissed, he turned to Grayson with the intention of asking him to take some photographs, since the man actually brought a camera with him, however, he was too slow, because one of the women from their group beat him to it. If he had to guess, she was around Grayson's age and clearly interested in him, something Damian noticed early on when he was assessing every person in the group, which was understandable, because Dick's poor attempt at disguise didn't do much to conceal his attractiveness.

Damian rolled his eyes, exasperated. If he didn't want this to end like a typical Wayne party with Grayson entertaining strange women, he was going to have to intervene, but a simple question from her made him stop before he could do anything.

“That's great!” She answered to what Dick said with a flirtatious smile. “And are you here alone?”

“Oh, no, I'm—” to any person that didn't know him, the minuscule pause that Grayson took before his next words could pass unnoticed, just him inhaling so he could keep talking. “With my brother, he likes this stuff, at least I hope he does.”

As always, Grayson was all charm with an easygoing disposition, but the way he doubted for a split-second before declaring Damian his brother, was something that took Damian's breath and made him tense up, feeling more than ever the need to say something as crass as he hadn't done in years, just like all those times he interrupted Grayson's conversations in Damian's days as his Robin, uncouth and angry. Instead he turned around and walked away, trying to call as little attention to him as possible, getting out of sight, shielded by the visitors.

He passed many objects being displayed, looking but not looking, willing himself not to fixate in any thought, because if he did, he felt like he would crumble like that Gotham he left in the future.

In his aimless steps, from the corner of his eye he got a glimpse of an statue of Anubis and that made him retrace his way. They were several people surrounding the crystal showcase that contained the statue, but Damian had no problem moving in between them until he was at the front, something that hardly bothered anyone, given his size. Damian looked at the basalt statue representing Anubis and he let himself think about his grandfather, just like that night weeks ago, because that felt like a much safer line of thought at that moment. Looking at the head of the statue, Damian questioned, not for the first time, what made his grandfather take it as an inspiration to symbolize his position as leader of the League. Anubis didn't exactly fit in the “demon's head” aesthetics - if such thing existed - and going by his grandfather's antics, it would've made more sense to choose any figure that opposed death, not oversight it. But maybe it was precisely that, after all, his grandfather fancied himself as a judge for humanity and their evils.

He could've stayed there for the rest of the day, thinking about his grandfather's motivations, be they about fashion or morality, but hearing Grayson call his name dragged him out of the little safe space he made for his thoughts. He didn't turn but he knew the precise moment Grayson came to stand next to him.  

“This place is huge,” Dick said after contemplating the statue a little, like he was trying to see what Damian was seeing in it. “You could get lost.”

“I know where every door in the building is,” he answered, stoic and unmoving, still looking at Anubis and the secrets it didn't hold. “Getting lost isn't an option.” Grayson chuckled and Damian clenched his teeth at the sound, instantly infuriated at himself.

“The point of coming here was to relax, not to give you homework.” He waited for a response but at Damian's prolonged silence he tried again. “Are you a fan?”

“Of what?”

“Anubis?” He put his hands in the pockets of his pants, too casually to be an spontaneous gesture. “Personally I think Ra is my favorite, you know, classics.”

For a moment, Damian visualized Todd there, asking Grayson what the fuck he was talking about, because Damian was trying to be as decorous as possible, so he couldn't inquire that way. “I like dogs.” Was what he chose to say instead.

Clearly the answer wasn't enough for Dick to work something out, because after another moment he tried again, more clearly this time. “So, what do you think? Are you having fun?”

“It's been educational.”

“Aw shucks, I missed the mark with this, eh?”

“No!” He said immediately, surprising himself. “No, you didn't.” He added, more measured.

Damian gave the statue one last look and proceeded to move, making a vague gesture at Dick to follow him, which he did. Damian used those few seconds while they walked away from the people that were still admiring the statue, to reorganize his thoughts, because whatever he was feeling, it was irrelevant, asinine, worthless. He wasn't going to fail Grayson and ruin all the effort he put on this, Damian was better than that and if he wasn't, he will make himself be, right away.

“You must understand, I've been in Egypt before and some things here aren't new for me.” Telling truths was such a convenient tool, because he didn't even have to lie, just let people form their own ideas about his words, based in the context they thought they had. “But I appreciate seeing them again, it's been an introspective experience.”

“I'm going to assume that's a good thing,” just as Damian wanted. “But now I have a lot of questions, you weren't there raiding tombs, were you?” He asked playfully.

“I know you're trying to be funny but I can't answer that in public.”

Dick looked at him like Damian was jesting, shaking his head with something like looked suspiciously like fondness, it made Damian want to stop and kick him right there. “Okay, let me ask something that won't get you in trouble. Tell me about Egypt, how was it?”

He frowned slightly, considering the question. “Beautiful. Merciless.” He said ultimately, frowning again, at himself this time, because he could do better, Grayson deserved better. “I spent most of my time in the dessert, days are unpleasant there and the nights are harsh, but if you have a fire and you're not suffering from hunger and thirst, it's magnificent,” the fingers of his right hand twitched almost imperceptibly, with the desire to hold a pencil. “The sky is so clear it feels like you drowned beneath the stars. It's easy to be at peace there when it's only you in an ocean of sand... I'm not sure if I can say it was a humbling experience, it feels so long ago in my memories and I'm know I wasn't having spiritual revelations in the middle of the dessert, I was most probably irritated and tired but even then, every time I looked at the sky at night, I understood why my mother and my grandfather love this world so much.”

And just like that, Damian felt suddenly very self-conscious and muscle memory made him try to reach for a hood that wasn't there, which in turn made him feel even more of an idiot. Curse Grayson and his ill-advised efforts to establish a connection with him. And curse Damian too! For caring so much it felt like he was suffocating with every breath he took. Things like this were precisely what he was trying to avoid from the start. Damage control his foot!

He ventured a glance at Grayson and when he looked like he was about to say something, Damian decided on a whim that the only viable option now was to act like the kid he certainly wasn't. “No,” he declared, pointing at Grayson with his right index. “I don't need your feedback and right now I want to... decipher that papyrus over there,” and he vaguely gestured to someplace behind Dick. “So please keep quiet while I work.”

Without waiting for confirmation, Damian rushed to the wall where various papyri were spread behind a crystal barrier. Oh, if his mother could see him right now, she would be positively aghast at his behavior. For his part, Grayson was too gracious, pretending Damian wasn't making a complete fool of himself, waiting patiently at this side with hands behind his back, his expression composed, not betraying anything. And he waited longer than Damian expected him to before finally talking again.

“Did you find something interesting?” He asked, humor tinting his voice despite his serious expression.

“Just boring praises to Osiris.” He answered trying not to sound as mortified as he felt.

“Really?”

“Yes, there.” He pointed to the second papyrus that was in the bottom row and closer to him.

“Are you sure you deciphered it,” and his façade started to crack. “Or the explanation at the side told you?” He finalized, poorly concealing a smile.

“Who do you take me for?” He uttered, affronted. “Of course I did.”

At this, Dick finally dropped the act. “Wait, do you really can read that?”

“My mother instructed me to learn a dead language as a pastime. It seemed like an easy option at the time.”

“Only you would say something like that,” he said, incredulous. “Or your dad, which yeah, actually makes sense I guess,” and he crossed his arms, looking at Damian in a way he hadn't done in ages: like he was measuring him. “Can you tell me what it says?”

“It depends, do you want an exact translation or I'm allowed to take liberties? I can understand the general intention just fine but I don't think I can translate word for word.”

“Sure, put it on layman's terms for me.”

If Damian was being honest, he was more than happy to fulfill Grayson's request, because translating hieroglyphics was infinitely more easier than trying to navigate conversations when his emotions were working against him. 

He supported his right elbow over his left palm, holding his chin with the other hand and stood straight as possible, his eyes examining the symbols in the papyrus while he mentally constructed an appropriate way to convey what was placed there. When he felt satisfied with what he had, he crossed his arms and taking a quick look around, he judged that he was at an acceptable distance from the other visitors.  

“In broad terms is something like this,” he started, adopting the same tone he used to do when he was reporting to his mother. “Hail Lord of Time, Heir of Geb, hail Lord of Life, bearer of the Atef-Crown, hail Lord of Fear, son of Nut. Hail to you, Osiris, Lord of the Two Horns, Ruler of the Hidden Place, Chief of the Westerners, worshiped by followers of Re and Atum, reverenced by Shu and Tefnut, adored by the Two Lands. We humbly fall before you, Creator of Gods, judge of dead and living, grant us a place amid your followers.” He wasn't exactly glowing with pride, but he was satisfied enough after acting like such a simpleton before.

Whatever reaction Damian expected from Dick, it definitely wasn't for Grayson to start rummaging through his jacket. “That was amazing, Damian,” he said almost at the same time he took out his phone, tapping in the screen before he placed it horizontally, pointing it towards Damian. “Say it again!”

“Are you recording?” He asked like he was disgusted after hearing something unsavory.

“Alfie wanted photos of you,” he at least had the decency to explain. “But this is so much better! He's going to love it,” but then he lowered the phone a little, looking dissatisfied. “But if you repeat it it's not going to be as genuine,” he mused for a moment before cheering up again. “Oh, I know, the first tablet the guide showed us, the big one with colors? That is perfect.”

Damian didn't need to be familiar with how Grayson's reasoning worked to understand what he was saying. “It's also very crowded and has a literal translation next to it.”

“Good thing you're not saying it word for word.”

He was going to protest, of course he was, but Grayson in his sudden joyful madness, took Damian's right hand with his left and started walking, making Damian follow his lead while he happily chatted about Alfred's family albums, giving the context he didn't asked for.

It wasn't like Grayson's hold was inescapable, it wasn't a strong grip, just enough force to keep one's hand closed. Damian tried to think if Grayson ever did this outside of necessity, like a move in the middle of a fight or catching him in midair; it was such a pointless thing, always has been, because Damian was never a child that needed to be secured in public spaces. Still, it wasn't bad, it didn't feel patronizing or asserting, so Damian didn't object, not that it was surprising, considering that he would follow Dick Grayson anywhere, even to the very doors of Hell. So he went.

He wondered if Grayson knew this is what he apparently needed. If that changed something, if it was even intentional. Whichever the case, after this, Damian fared better the rest of the visit, satisfying Grayson's silly requests to translate every time he pointed at something, letting him take photographs and even taking some himself for his art studies, telling him more about his stay in Egypt, but being careful to only talk about inconsequential things like animals or food. By the end, he even accepted Dick's suggestion to visit the gift shop before they left. Initially he had no interest in buying anything, he was just wandering while waiting for Grayson but when his eyes fell on an Egyptian themed hourglass, it was like a call. The same reason he picked an abandoned clock factory for his hideout, was the reason he decided to make such a frivolous purchase; in another life, his father would've been proud to see Damian taking after him.

On the way home, Damian felt like he could finally loosen up and have a brief moment of tranquility, like when he just successfully finished one of his mother's tasks, the kind he would prefer not to do again. Grayson, however, seemed to enjoy wrecking Damian's solace, because while waiting for the green light in a particularly long stop, he unfastened his seat belt to be able to delve in the back seat.

“Now that we are far away and you can't ask for a refund,” he said before sitting properly again, this time with one of their paper shopping bags from the museum in hands. “I bought you something.”

Damian scowled, clicking his tongue but accepting the bag nonetheless. “That was unnecessary... but I'm thankful for the gesture.” He added after a thought.

The gift in question was a plush toy of Anubis. A very caricaturesque one, clearly designed to look appealing to children with its big head, small body and oval cutesy eyes.

“There was one of Seth too,” Dick said after fastening the seat belt again. “But I think this one looks more like a dog. If you don't like it please don't throw it in the trash.”

“I'm not that thoughtless, the design it's ludicrous but I can see the intent.”

Damian couldn't understand why Grayson seemed to find his words comical every so often, but Dick smiled like he just told a joke and ruffled his hair for the second time that day.

The Anubis plush ended up placed over Damian's nightstand, becoming his new companion in his silent sorrow.  

Although Pennyworth was more permissive than the first time around and let Damian get away with a lot of things, a patrolling schedule with breaks every third day was non-negotiable. Usually Damian found that to be an annoyance in the same category that homework was in, but for once he was looking for a good night of rest after day he had. That, of course, was an unsuccessful plan. He did his best to fall asleep but instead, his treacherous body decided that his time was best spend crying.

He had done so well over the course of the day, withstanding everything and not breaking even once, even if he faltered at times, but as soon as he was in the privacy of his room, lying on his bed and sheltered by the darkness of the night, he couldn't help but openly mourn for what he had lost like he rarely allowed himself to do. He was glad, oh so glad, exultant even, to have Alfred back, safe and sound, but the price was so excruciating.

Damian took a deep breath and moved his right arm that until now had been covering his eyes, he opened them and the darkness welcomed him. He couldn't know how much time passed while he laid there, looking at the ceiling, incapable of distinguish anything, but at some point the grief gave way to something close to wrath. He furiously wiped his tears with both hands, sitting up abruptly while still looking upwards.

The price was agonizing and he would pay it a thousand times! Crushed, brokenhearted, bested, tormented, none of that mattered! Damian was a king, a general and his own entire army, he didn't chose this outcome while trying to rectify his worst sin, but he was going to make the Fates fall at his feet all the same.

And if he has to spend sleepless nights looking at the ceiling, he might as well do something about that too.

⪻Chapter 16

PS. Damian's translation is a patchwork from Margaret Murray's translations published in Ancient Egyptian Religious Poetry.

Reference for the plushie:

#f.r.w. #chap17

[wandaluvstacos]

THE ONLY SECONDS THAT MATTER

CHAPTER TWENTY IS UP!

Genre: Contemporary Romance Rating: 18+

Includes: Extensive horse nerdery + cowboys, mxm romance (1 trans + 1 cis), some discussion child abuse, some instances of trans/homophobia (it is rural Oklahoma, y'all), depression, occasional sex scene (but it’s a slow burn for sure)

Victor Ortiz-Bennett had some reservations about moving to Oklahoma, but his late aunt willed him a 70-acre horse farm, and he decides to fulfill his dream of running and operating his own training facility. Victor’s been around the reining horse show circuit for a while, and he’s ready to settle down, travel less, and spend more time with the horses he loves and away from the people he can do without. That is, until he picks up a horse at an auction with a bucking problem he can’t fix, and he has to take her to the one guy who can ride anything– Johnny Stearns, a retired professional rodeo rider.

Johnny Stearns is loud, chatty, eccentric, and fears nothing, exactly Victor’s opposite. However, Victor finds himself sinking into an odd friendship with this new foul-mouthed cowboy without a filter, diving deeper into the mess that is Johnny’s life until there’s no way to extract himself from it. Johnny may talk a tough game, but there’s more to him than he’ll let most people see. Victor knows getting in too deep will mean a rough ride, but if there’s anything Johnny’s taught him, it’s how to stay in the saddle.

Excerpt:

“Diego?” Victor whispered to himself, then repeated it louder, loud enough for Diego to hear. “Diego?”

Diego’s open-mouthed stare turned into a closed-mouth one, and he took a few steps closer to be better heard. Was that the same blue baseball cap that he used to wear when he went riding with Victor? Were those the same boots? Probably not. Even Diego didn’t cling to clothes that long. But those were still his eyes, dark and sweet, ringed with thick lashes and settled deep beneath expressive eyebrows. No matter what he changed, those would be the same.

“I… I thought that was your horse I saw in the class this morning, so I came looking for him,” Diego began, voice hushed because he never spoke that loudly. “Hard to forget Blitz. I couldn’t imagine you selling him.”

“What are you doing here?” Victor asked.

“Oh, uh, a cousin’s showing this week,” Diego replied. “And her kid was in the same class Blitz was, so I…” He trailed off, his attention turning to Blitz, who had reached over the stall to nuzzle his elbow. Diego’s smile was so instant and natural that it felt like a punch through Victor’s chest. “Hola, viejo amigo. Qué has estado haciendo?”

The smile lasted a few seconds, about as long as his attention on Blitz did. But then he turned to Victor and his expression turned befuddled again.

“It really is you,” Diego murmured, staring at Victor so intently that Victor wondered if he had something on his face.

“Of course it’s me.”

“Yeah, but… it’s really not.” Diego gave Victor a once-over. “Jesus christo, you’re…ah.” Diego cut himself off, looking away and shoving his hands in his pockets. How typical of him to avoid conflict by not saying what he meant.

“I’m what?”

“Dios mio, no te enojes. I’m just… shocked, that’s all. You look so different. I barely recognize you.”

“Really? What’s changed?” Victor asked sarcastically. He probably shouldn’t give Diego such a hard time, but he was still hurting after Diego rejected him. Even after Victor cancelled the wedding, they’d tried to make it work. Diego had insisted upon that, at least until the reality of Victor’s transition really hit him. Victor was not going to change his mind, and he wasn’t going through a phase. Victor really did want a beard, a low voice, and top surgery—several things Diego could not handle when all he’d wanted was a pretty wife.

#The Only Seconds that Matter #original fiction #cowoby romance #my writing #update #Patreon #excerpt

[bxbu-chuu]

Seijoh Hinata AU where everything is exactly the same except Hinata going to Seijoh instead of Karasuno, but somehow everything's different.

Kageyama wasn’t a superficial guy. He had never really cared about how much fame or prestige a school had- yes, he applied to Shiratorizawa first but that was just him trying to make sure he played as much volleyball as he could and that he could do it to the best of his abilities. So when he first started in Karasuno he was hopeful. Hopeful for new beginnings, for the opportunity of growth, for finally letting his potential come to fruition.  

All the hope quickly started to dissipate, it was pushed down and replaced. The team wasn’t bad, for what he’s picked up over the months they are better now that they have Kegeyama’s sets, but he still couldn’t be satisfied. All his teammates seemed defeated, apathetic. It was out of his hands and he would never get better in this environment. They were mediocre and by sheer power of association- so was he. 

It was painfully unfair, hysterically ironic. It was cruel. He had the talent, he had the passion, the work ethic, the dedication, the athleticism, so why? Just why couldn’t he seem to get ahead? How long did he have to wait? 

He still tried his best to keep his thoughts quiet, push the impeding anger down and just soak with the lingering, eerie feeling that it might blast out of him at any moment. A ticking bomb strapped to his chest and no way to get it off.  

Tobio was placing what he knew were his last hopes into the practice match with Seijoh. While they were warming up he made sure to keep himself laser focused, his muscles the right amount of tense, his fingers perfectly stiff, his joints impossibly flexible. If he could prove himself to his old teammates, if he could show his current ones just how much they could achieve with him by their side, he might just turn this around. He might even convince himself that what happened in middle school wasn’t his fault. 

As they lined up he finally notices a distantly familiar head of bright orange hair, and immediately recognizes that small kid from a match back in middle school. Hinata Shouyou, it was difficult to forget a guy so passionate, especially when he runs after you crying and swears to get revenge. How did he even get in Aoba Johsai, and as starter in the lineup at that? He couldn't help but let his cockiness get the best of him, and the thought that maybe Seijoh’s player roaster was lacking this year made its way to his mind.  

The first few minutes of the game went as expected, Karasuno wasn’t perfect, or anything remotely close to it for the matter, but they still fought, they still managed to score some points. Seijoh was leagues ahead of them. Hinata had unsurprisingly gotten better but Tobio still wasn’t sure he was good enough to deserve to be standing on the court. 

It was when the short redhead's turn to serve came that Tobio froze in place, his eyes glued to the boy as his emotions rapidly flooded his whole body. The way Hinata’s knees bent to push himself off the ground, the way his shoulders opened up and his body curved, even the way his eyes fixated on the ball. He’d seen it all before. Seijoh’s captain wasn’t present, but Tobio was currently watching him.  

Of course, Hinata’s serve wasn’t as powerful or as precise, it didn’t need to be to open up the way for all of Tobio’s repressed anger and frustration. As he stood there watching he could hear a younger version of himself ask “Oikawa-senpai, teach me how to serve”, he could feel the fear his younger self felt when the senior he respected and admired launched at him for no apparent reason, he could feel the rejection all over again. The ball flew to their side of the court, but he couldn’t be bothered to move as all the whys came flooding back. Why Hinata Shouyou? Why not him? What made them so different? Why would they choose a talentless child that wasted all his 3 middle school years when Tobio was right there? What did he ever do so wrong? 

He heard the distinct sound of Nishinoya receiving the ball behind him, but he didn’t move. His body felt hot, his vision blurry with boiling, boisterous anger. He barely realized when the ball hit the floor right next to him. He distantly heard a whistle and he watched his own legs move like a spectator as he walked out of the court and toward the bench. He dared to look up for just a few seconds, old and current teammates alike stared at him, but he could only see one person standing on the court. Hinata Shouyou had sadness in his eyes, a disappointment that not even his Karasuno teammates were showing. “This isn’t how I wanted to beat you” is what his eyes said.  

#haikyuu #hinata shouyou #hq #hinata haikyuu #kageyama tobio #kageyama haikyuu #kagehina headcanon #seijoh!hinata #kagehina

[cassynite]

7, 10, 16 for sparrow :D

Thank you so much for the ask!!!! These were some really good questions, I enjoyed them a lot.

7. Do they have any unusual fears?

Hoo boy. She's got a lot of fears...unusual ones? She doesn't like being looked at too much--being the center of attention is terrifying to the point of painful for her. Related to this, she has a fear of dancing or singing in public and won't do it unless coerced. In terms of like...innocuous phobias? Sparrow gets anxious in small and tight spaces, and will freak out if the back of her neck is touched.

10. Do they have any regrets?

Haaaaa yes. Should they be listed chronologically or by intensity? She constantly blames herself for things that were outside of her control--like the circumstances that led to her brother's death and her capture (she always wonders if she could have done something to prevent it. She was like. Eleven). Even more deep-seated, she has the belief that her parents left because raising her was too much, which is why they're dead (this is partially correct). In terms of things she actually did that she regrets, Sparrow wishes she hadn't put her trust in Evaethi. If she hadn't gotten close, and believed that Evaethi cared for her as a person and not as a servant, she might have been able to escape without a tracking rune branded in her skin. She could have been free for years. As Knight Commander, especially in the beginning, she second-guesses her decisions and regrets every loss reported to her, even if the battles were victories. Some decisions, like how she handled Wintersun and Morveg, become instance she turns over in her head, wondering if things could have been better if she handled them differently. She will also eventually regret how she closed the door on her friendships with Seelah and Lann, once she has the distance and emotional maturity to recognize that her perception of rejection and betrayal with both of them was based more on her own fears than anything either of them did. All bad things in the end feel like her own fault to one extent or another and she carries them with her. It takes a long time for her to come to terms with the fact that some of the things that happened to her were outside of her control, and that she can't do anything to change the mistakes she did make--she can only move forward.

16. Do they have or want kids?

She does not have children. Does she want them? That's...complicated. On one hand, the thought of having family, of raising a child, is very appealing to her; she genuinely enjoys the company of children for the most part and she's always had a desire for a larger family. On the other hand, she does not believe she would be a good mother and is terrified of trying. I'm still not sure if she ever overcomes this fear to the point where she actually tries for children.

#cassy answers #celestialkindliness #digging deep into the id for this one #oc: sparrow

[null-if-i]

its easier to be frustrated at my child self for wanting comfort and company and to be seen and recognized and cherished, because that's what we learned from our caretakers, that's what we were taught, that's what became normal. it was a normal survival mechanism to learn quickly that seeking out attention was unsafe and most likely to bring rejection. that was literally the truth at one point and it was safe and wise to learn it. it's 'irrational' now because i am in a different situation, but my learning took place in the fundamental crucible for all my understanding of social interactions.

of course i still assume that seeking company is going to lead to rejection and/or be seen as annoying, 'attention-seeking' needy clingy childish disgusting pathetic behavior, that people are going to scorn me for because they expect me to be 'better' meaning: quieter and more independent, so independent that i don't need anyone to help me with anything ever, because having needs would be selfish of me, would be demanding and greedy and all-my-fault and exhausting for them and unethical for lacking empathy for them because. the codependent system where i am the fixer who silently does my job and theirs to 'keep us safe' and meet some of my needs. because that system had no... framework for genuine, boundaries, collaboration, equity, and care. my worth and whether i was sub-human that day or not was measured by whether i was annoying (had needs, expressed anything independently, or simply was not adequately vigilant and attuned to fixing for and helping authority)

that is a horrible way to treat a child and a terrible thing to teach a child to expect even unintentionally, and it is a tragedy that i am so adaptable because i had to learn fast, because i was punished and rejected so sharply for normal human behavior. that is tragic.

it's easier, in the sense of a well worn groove, to simply get angry and blame my inner child for clinging to the past and not simply realizing that it's different now, without practice, or proof, as if by magic. or maybe it's simpler.

it is also understandable to be angry and upset by my own limitations, especially when i can see how they're holding me back. being frustrated is a totally rational response to having a skill issue that you feel is very basic when you want to move on. practicing the basics is hard. it takes time and patience and it's harder to see the results. especially... when you see other people's results and they're doing things so far beyond your skill level, that it looks like magic, like gymnastics, like a circus dance. *they* juggle with ease-- not just balls, not just 3, but with grace and a funny face and 10 in the air and a hackeysack and a highwire! and i can't catch 2. one is easy enough, but keeping one in the air without my eyes on the other... i can't really hack it.

so of course it's easier to get frustrated and yell with that angry, fearful brain: "just get better!! UGH!!" the unspoken message of 'you suck' of 'no one likes you' 'this is why' 'you can't do such simple things, no wonder everyone rejects you'

and of course the unspoken message being wrong, not everyone rejects me. most people do not. expecting people to reject me is a bit weird to presume.

but again, foundations. learned early, hard knocks, survived.

[tavoriel]

the best way I know of to eat ice cream:

1. fill a mug about 1/3 full with frozen fruit  2. microwave  3. ice cream on top

you can add peanut butter.  you can add maple syrup.  supermarket peanut butter goes on top of the fruit before you put the ice cream on.  if you have artisan peanut butter, it goes on top of the ice cream as a topping, and it hardens a little as it gets cold.  when you hold the mug, the bottom feels warm and the top feels cold, & you’re probably going to eat the ice cream creation fast enough that it will be both warm and cold.  I feel like there isn’t anything particularly ‘clever’ in this but i feel like i always underestimated how straightforward it is to upgrade my ice cream experience & how just a little bit of extra effort doesn’t have to be a special occasion thing

#do you ever wonder if the common advice to think of non-rejection reasons for behavior when ppl appear to be rejecting you #is important and insightful but incomplete? #do you ever consider how important connection acceptance and belonging are for survival? #do you ever frown at humorous observations that our minds & bodies still think we have to protect ourselves from tigers #at the idea that anxieties are a quaint & charming & fairly useless byproduct of humanity outgrowing evolution too quickly #an archaic alarm system that only gets in the way #when not having connections can leave you homeless and starving even in this 'safe' modern world without tigers? #when not having emotional needs met can be its own kind of torture whether you have material needs met or not? #when you can't have connection at all unless at least one person accepts you? #would anything be different or better if you recognized fear of rejection as fear of not being able to survive #have you ever consistently & optimistically thought of non-rejection reasons for behavior and found yourself at #a crocodile pit at the end of a path with 37 signs that say 'crocodiles ahead; turn back maybe' #would anything be different or better if; instead of carving 'my friends and social groups never hate me i only think they do' #into the cement of your outlook before it dries #you asked yourself; how can I cultivate support; which rejections represent a blow to a foundation of something and which #rejections are not connected to my safety and stability & may feel bad but do not represent a personal crisis #if i expect someone to support me in some way how can i reciprocate? #how can i set a foundation for checking in abt little worries before they get bigger & can i forgive similar little worries in others? #if a foundation i thought was safe becomes unsafe how will i begin again #what signs do i look for that a relationship is safe so inevitable little 'does that tone of voice mean rejection' questions #get weighted less heavily when i wonder if i'm safe? #and even; how can I see some but not all hurtful behaviors as mainly other ppl protecting their own survival needs #protecting their energy from the tigers that arent tigers that their anxieties beg them for safety from #what a relief to consider 12 possible reasons someone could be acting like X that DON'T mean that they hate you #AND 12 reasons you're being intentional & self-compassionate about your own connection needs no matter what #ppl are gonna be at different stages of journeys & ppl are gonna need different things; if this isnt useful or relevant it doesnt have to be #I brought my neighbor some on sale baked goods from the gas station bc its a pandemic & I worry we're all not connecting enough #& I've been hearing her talking to her pets all day #maybe its all just a connection economy and that's it

[queensusanthemagnificent]

It’s Gushing About Cinderella 1997 Time Again

Okay, so instead of color theory, today, I’m looking at Cinderella’s journey with trust, the Prince’s inability to recognize her at the ball, and how that aspect of the original fairytale got utilized to further along the theme of learning to trust people to love you for who you are.

Part 1: The Prince Meets Cinderella

When the prince meets Cinderella just after The Sweetest Things, there is no magic involved at all, and he’s IMMEDIATELY smitten with her. Just thinks she’s the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen and makes no bones about trying to figure out how to ask her out even after she’s excused herself to go about her day. Cinderella is visibly uncomfortable with the attention, but doesn’t completely turn him away. We know from The Sweetest Things that she WANTS love, that she yearns for it even, but the moment someone turns around and gives it to her, she doesn’t seem to know what to do with it anymore. She’s mostly confused by the prince’s behavior, but ultimately gains enough confidence and chutzpah to call him out on continuing to pester her even when she’s made it fairly clear she’s not interested by asking him if he even knows how to treat a woman.

And of course has her iconic line:

He sticks his foot in his mouth right after by saying she’s “not like most girls” which I will somewhat excuse as we know the prince has grown up massively sheltered and has likely not spoken to many women outside of the trappings of nobility who are all attempting to gain his or his parents’ favor, particularly as a suitor (we also know from a later scene that his mother has been attempting to set him up for a while and this is likely how he has met most women he’s ever interacted with).

Cinderella chooses to be forgiving and admits that she’s led a fairly sheltered life, thus how she’s gained her opinions I suppose, and the prince admits the same and they really seem to connect TOGETHER for the first time before the stepmother interrupts. Despite her choice to try to walk away from the prince when he initially showed interest in her, Cinderella risks her stepmother’s impatience and irritation by turning back one last time to watch the prince leave. She WANTS love, she WANTS to trust that someone could be interested in her like this, but she doesn’t completely trust it to happen or to last.

Part 2: The Prince sees Cinderella at the Ball

The next time the prince sees Cinderella is at the ball. He’s just spent the last several hours making nice with a bunch of women he doesn’t know and isn’t interested in so he can appease his mother. Presumably, he could probably expect the girl he met in the marketplace a few days ago might make an appearance given that the invite went out to all the girls in the kingdom, but he never mentions it. While it was clearly a nice connection to make in the moment, he seems to mostly chalk it up to a successful trip to the village, made nicer by a pretty girl and doesn’t think much about it afterwards, esp since the problem of the ball comes up immediately and his attention gets derailed.

In other words, the prince is not thinking about Cinderella anymore. Not maliciously, but he’s got other things on his mind, so when she shows up and he doesn’t recognize her despite having flirted with her only a few days ago, it’s somewhat understandable. Plus, she’s all made up with a completely different hairstyle and a nice dress and they have only met ONCE, for a few minutes total, several days ago.

But, that being said, while he doesn’t recognize her, he IS once again immediately smitten with her, and he does have that sense of familiarity, he just can’t place where. The problem then comes when he starts to try to guess how he knows her.

His guesses are all related to Cinderella being rich and/or nobility like him rather than considering that commoner girl he flirted with in the marketplace only a few days ago. Cinderella reacts fairly kindly to those guesses, telling him that she can’t swim, so she wouldn’t have been at the lake that summer, or that she’s never been to the mountains where his lodge is. But these assumptions eventually feed into Cinderella’s feelings of inadequacy and her fears that he won’t care for her when he finds out who she really is despite his initial reaction to her in the marketplace.

She starts to get flustered again when he calls her beautiful and her attention is drawn to how everyone around her is looking at them, but is effectively distracted by the Prince beginning to sing and only becomes flustered again once the King and Queen decide to insert themselves into the situation and get to know her and the reality of what seems to be happening hits her. She just intended to go to a fun party and dance a little, but now she’s gotten the attention of the Prince and it’s coming back to her that the point of the ball was for the Prince to find a WIFE. But she can tell, both from the Prince’s earlier comments and the ones made by the King and Queen asking who she is and who her family is, that they’re assuming things about her status that aren’t true.

Cinderella wants to keep living in a fantasy, though, where a Prince could love someone like her, so every time her reality comes into the conversation, she tries to move the conversation away. She wants to live in the bubble of romance the Prince is creating for her rather than talking about her family or what he wants in a wife.

And it works, right up until the clock strikes midnight and that reality crashes down on her like an avalanche.

Despite everything they’ve talked about that night, about how he knows she’s The One despite just having met her, about what he wants in a wife and how she seems to fit that description, about their feelings, Cinderella does not trust that he’s going to like her once he finds out who she is. Because despite how much time they’ve spent with each other (which, according to clock, is about 45 minutes now), he hasn’t recognized her as the girl from the marketplace ONCE.

Cinderella herself never mentions whether she recognizes the Prince from the marketplace or not, but we can fairly safely assume that she does. That moment meant a LOT to her, it was likely the first friendliness she had been shown in a while, especially by a stranger, and it hit her like a ton of bricks. It showed her that someone COULD be interested in her for who she is, could grow to love her.

And of course, meeting the Prince’s family at the ball gives her a sense of what it would be like to be part of HIS family, a family that already does seem to like her well enough and clearly care about their son. It’s everything she’s ever dreamed of having, but they all believe her to be something she isn’t, and she can’t trust that they’d treat her the same if they knew. So instead of risking it all for love, for that dream, she runs again. She’d rather leave it one really good night and a lifelong what-if than get rejected one more time.

Cinderella runs home, back to what she knows, back to what’s comfortable. In the “Do I Want You” reprise, Cinderella appears wistful, but resigned. The Prince, on the other hand, seems almost more confident and determined. He’s smiling at the empty courtyard, even before he sees the shoe left behind. Cinderella is prepared to let everything go, but the Prince no longer is. She told him at the ball is that the problem with most people is that they only dream about things without ever doing anything about it.

So he does. He commits himself to finding her, even WITHOUT the shoe, he’s committed to finding her.

Part 3: The Prince Finds Cinderella

Obviously, the fact that the Prince has the need to go out and have everyone try on the shoe means he still has no idea who Cinderella is. He never asks her name at the ball, so he hasn’t connected her to the girl from the marketplace who DID tell him her name. He can’t just go into the village and ask for “Cinderella” yet. But the fact that he goes INTO the village at all means he has recognized that this girl could be literally anyone, commoner or nobility, and it doesn’t matter to him which it is. He’s making no assumptions about her identity anymore.

And then he sees her. In an obvious throwback to their first meeting, he finds her having just dropped all of her belongings in front of a carriage because it moved in front of her a little quickly.

Backing up, though. Cinderella’s gone through an entire journey during this time period. She left the Prince behind at the ball, ready to leave that dream behind as “impossible.” And gives it one last go with the family she was left with, trying to connect with them, be a part of it. And it fails. Again.

But it gives her the strength to realize that this was never going to work. And while she doesn’t believe she can be what a Prince wants, she DOES believe she deserves to be loved and deserves better than what her stepmother is dishing out.

So, the next day, while the Prince is out with a glass slipper, going through every eligible girl in the kingdom trying to find her, Cinderella is preparing to leave her childhood home and set out on her own. Even when she ostensibly DOES hear the Prince in the house, trying on the slipper with her family, she chooses not to make herself known to him, and walks away.

But not quite fast enough and the Prince sees her.

She is once again dressed as a commoner with no magic involved, and this time, the Prince immediately recognizes her both as the woman from the marketplace AND the woman from the ball. From behind. By referencing their first meeting where he initially made his interest known, he indicates that he still likes her despite now knowing her background, and perhaps even BECAUSE he now knows her background as the first woman he ever met who truly understood how he felt and treated him like a person, with kindness and respect, rather than like a Prince.

Cinderella has a choice here. He recognizes her, yes, but she doesn’t have to play along. She doesn’t have to turn around and admit to anything, she COULD, presumably, choose to keep running. But the fact that he RECOGNIZES her, finally, and still wants her, gives her just enough courage to turn around and trust him and confirm her identity, both as the girl in the marketplace and the girl who fits the slipper.

And it pays off. Trusting someone to love you as you are, having the courage to actually go after your dream, to let it come true, pays off.

Have I mentioned how much I love this movie recently? Because this is PEAK Cinderella, and I love this movie.

#cinderella 1997 #whitney houston #cinderella #rodgers and hammerstein cinderella #brandy norwood #paolo montalban #whoopi goldberg #victor garber

[angstysebfan]

The Past Can Break You - 4

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

AU: Avengers

Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for aa few years. As far as you’re concerned he is the one. But what happens when a blast from the actual past shows up?

A/N: Ive seen a lot stories of Bucky getting his first love from the 40′s back. And I’ve always wondered... what would happen if he was dating someone already? Reader is from this time. Not proofread.

Warning: honestly probably not the best ive written... sorry

--

It’s been almost a week since you told Bucky you needed space. You have barely come out of your room, because you didn’t want to see him, and especially her. You wonder if this is really the end of your relationship. You are grateful that he has given you space, and according to Nat, he hasn’t gone near Dot. Dot has been spending a lot of time down in the lab with Tony. Wanting to learn about technology. Good luck to her.

Over the last few days you have been waking up to soft knocking on your door. You go to open the door and find a single red rose with no note. You figure it is Bucky, and while it makes your heart flutter, you force yourself to leave in on your dresser. As you walk down to the kitchen to eat breakfast you see Nat sitting at the counter.

“Morning, Nat,” you say quietly.

She smiles softly at you, “Morning. How are you feeling?” she asks.

You shrug as you continue making your coffee and grab your fixings for cereal. When you turn around you see Bucky sleepily walk into the kitchen. You look at the bags under his eyes and he stops short and stares at you. You feel your heart break when you know that he doesn’t sleep well without you. 

“Morning, Doll,” he says, completely ignoring Nat’s existence.

“Good morning Bucky,” you say. You decide to take your breakfast to go and shuffle around him as he walks further into the room. You stop and turn to look at him again, “Thank you for the roses. They are beautiful, “ you say before leaving.

Bucky sighs heavily when you leave and looks at Nat. “God I hope this works. I can’t live like this much longer, Nat. I miss her so goddamn much,” he says as he puts his face in his hands. 

“Barnes man up. This will work. She commented on the roses. She is hurt and doesn’t trust you, which you can’t blame her for. But the fact that she thanked you, tells me that she appreciates you putting in the effort. It’s time to do this. Let her know that you are serious about making her a priority. Now I bought everything. You go get ready and I will get her there, okay?” She says.

Bucky nods and heads out of the kitchen to get ready. He hopes that this will work. He is hoping that if anything it will show you how much he loves you and how much he wants to be with you. But he would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous that you will reject him also. But Nat seems to think this will work, so we will see.

--

You are sitting on your bed, watching Netflix when there is a knock on your door. You call for them to enter and see Nat walk through the door. She walks over and sits on your bed.

“Hey honey, how are you holding up?” she asks as she sits.

You shrug, hugging yourself. “I-I miss him. But I’m still mad at him. But I want to talk to him. But I’m scared that it will end,” you say.

Nat pulls you into a hug, “Honey, I promise he has been moping in his room all week. I don’t think he has gone near her once. Steve has been watching over her, and she has been spending a lot of time in the lab, which is weird, but whatever. He told her he was done and he meant it. Talk to him,” she says.

You can’t help the tears, “Has be been... okay?” you ask.

“He misses you. He wants to make it up to you. Are you ready to hear him out, and have a conversation with him?” Nat asked.

You sigh and think about whether or not you are ready. You look at her and node slowly, causing her to smile. “Good. I was hoping that would be your answer. Now get up and put...” she ran to the bedroom door and grabs a box from the hallway she left there, bringing it back to the bed. “This on. I’ll meet you in the garage in 1 hour,” she says before leaving. You open the box and gasp.

--

When Nat pulls up to the edge of Central Park, you look at her in question. She nods telling you to go ahead. You get out of the car and start walking down the path. As you get closer to the clearing, you hear light music. You continue walking and finally enter the clearing where you recognize you had your first date with Bucky. You look around and see roses everywhere and candles, along with music.

Finally your eyes meet Bucky, who is standing in the middle of open space. He is wearing a navy blue suit, that matches your navy blue dress that Nat gave you. He has shaved his beard to some light scruff, that makes you swoon. His hair is cut short, and looks so soft. You see he is nervous as he waits for you to make a move.

“Hi Bucky,” you say. 

He sighs and gives you a small smile, “Hi baby. I’m glad you came,” he says as he steps up to you with another rose in his hand.

He hands it to you, which causes you to smile, “Well Nat didn’t exactly give me much of a choice,” you say.

He laughs, “Yea, she has been helping me set up all of this. I’m so glad you are here. I-I wanted to... I... Baby, I can’t even find the words to apologize for being such an ass. But I’m done. I told Dot she had to deal with things herself. I told her that you were the one I want. And, I haven’t seen her since. I know that it will take a lot more than a date and begging to get you to forgive me, but I hope that we can recreate our first date because I fell in love with you that night. Not that I am expecting anything, but I owed you, and--”

You cut Bucky off with you lips slotting on his. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you impossibly close. “Bucky, I’m ready to talk. I’m ready to fix this. I’ve missed you. I love you so much, and the fact that you are doing all of this, means so much to me. This isn’t going to fix everything, but I’m ready to talk,” you say.

Bucky leads you to the table and you both sit and talk about the situation. You talk about your fears and how you felt when Dot arrived. You expressed how his actions affected you, and Bucky took everything in stride. When you finally finished going through everything, Bucky then told you how the last thing he wanted was to hurt you. He felt that he owed it Dot, because he knows how scary it is to wake up in a different time. And while he used to have love for Dot, the moment he met you and started to date you, Dot no longer held his heart. Only you. 

He told you that he will never put anything ahead of you or your relationship again. After you both agreed you will move back into your room, but Bucky still has a lot of things to make up for. You then danced the night away under the stars. You both eventually make your way back to your shared apartment. Bucky surprised you with new lingerie, the same pair he ruined that night. You got a redo of that date night, and this time, Bucky made sure you had several more orgasms, before finishing himself. No interruptions, no ex’s, just the two of you reclaiming your love on each other.

--

Dot had been trying to figure out what she could do to split you and Bucky up for good. She knew you would be pathetic and fall for his charms again, just like all the girls from back in the day. She had to step up her game in this century though, and who better to learn from then one of the smartest men who happen to live in the compound also.

She started to spend time with Tony to learn the ins and outs of technology in the 21st century. He also taught Dot how utilize FRIDAY. showed her all the fun and cool thing that no one cared to know. Dot made sure she seemed completely excited and interested, which helped Tony’s ego and gave her more information. Eventually Dot figured out something that she could use. 

She smiled when she saw both you and Bucky going into shared apartment after your date. While she hated the idea of you and Bucky together, she knew that she could use her new knowledge against you. And now was the perfect time to put that in motion.

--

Chapter 3 / Chapter 5

Not 100% how I feel about this chapter. I felt like it was getting too long so I cut it, but maybe I shouldn’t have. So I’m sorry if it’s not as good. But DRAMA ALERT!! What is Dot going to do? Feedback is appreciated!

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#bucky #Bucky Barnes #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes angst #Bucky angst #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x dot

[akitsuneswife]

Why didn't you stop me | Comte de Saint Germain

This is a rewritting of the scene where MC confess her feelings to Comte, so a little bit of spoilers if you don't know how it turns out.

I wrote this because I'm a person guided by her feelings and not always optimistic as MC is. Also, it irked me how Comte spoke in this scene haha. So here's what would happen if I was actually in that situation.

Warning: slightly angsty (?) nothing else to mention really.

"Save it," you shake your head. The hand he had lifted to reach up to you falls to his side when you take a few steps backs, like you fear what might happen when he touches you, like it might break you, even if he has never been nothing but careful with you. Maybe that's what will break you, a touch so tender coming from hands that will never be used to show you how much he loves you. Because he doesn't, right?

"I think you've misunderstood me."

The words repeat themselves on your mind, like a broken record and it's hard not to take them and break them apart to figure out the meaning but it deludes you.

None of the thinking is needed, however, because he carries on his explanation, talking about family and differences and feelings that should end.

Your heart thumps painfully in your chest and a lump settles in your throat. You don't know whether you should try to clear your throat or cry and you end up laughing bitterly.

"Is that what you think it's happening here? What, you think you adopted me? Want me to call you father?"

The flood of tears on your eyes break loose and you cover your face with your hands, trying to block his vision of your face as you breathe deeply in an attempt to regain some composture.

"Ma cherie-" his voice is soft and it only fuels the furious flames burning your chest.

You let your hands fall, angry at the mention of such a endearing petname coming from his lips. "No! Listen to me. Do you believe me stupid or naive enough to not be able to recognize my own feelings?!"

He's stunned into silence. He knows, of course, how passionate you are but he would have never imagined such reaction from you.

"These are my feelings! Just because I tried to share them with you it doesn't give you the right to ever pretend you know my own heart better than I do!"

"Y/N, that is not what I was trying to–"

"And here you are pretending to be a gentleman," you laugh again, a sound strangled what comes off as strange in your own ears. "The least you could do was being upfront if you wanted to reject me."

His face fell and you know you may have overstepped some boundaries but it feels right, if only for a moment. Guilt starts to creep slowly on you as you watch his usually calm facade fall to reveal the hurt caused by your words.

"I just want you to understand that I can't–" he comes closer to you.

"Save it," you shake your head. The hand he had lifted to reach up to you falls to his side when you take a few steps backs, like you fear what might happen when he touches you, like it might break you, even if he has never been nothing but careful with you. Maybe that's what will break you, a touch so tender coming from hands that will never be used to show you how much he loves you. Because he doesn't, right?

"I already know how you feel, you made it crystal clear. I'm going back to the mansion. Excuse me with the other guests, tell them I feel sick."

"Please let me accompany you."

You turn around, not bothering to face him as you reply, "do what you please." He doesn't say anything more but you can hear his footsteps behind you.

The carriage ride back to the mansion feels eternal but you refuse to look anywhere but the window.

"I don't think I should keep on being your partner to these things," you say outloud. It's hard to break the silence but you need to communicate to him your decision.

You know by now how hard is for him to lose people but he will have to say goodbye to you at some point, all you're doing is shortening your time together, because whether that happens now or in two weeks is irrelevant. You were always meant to go back to your time and never see him again.

"Y/N–"

"Maybe I should leave the mansion as well."

"Is that what you truly want?"

"I don't know."

"The other residents will be saddened but I can make arrangements. Give you a place of your own in the city, if that's what you'd prefer."

You look at him, trying to see beyond the calmness on amber eyes but, as always, there's nothing revealed to you. Because that's how he prefers it to be and well, how are you supposed to fight him on his own feelings?

It would be hypocrite of me.

"Would you really let me walk away like that?"

"Of course. If it is what it takes to make you comfortable."

You sigh. "I'll tell you my decision tomorrow in the morning."

"Very well."

Neither of you said nothing but there was a implied agreement about this being your last night shared together.

#comte x reader #comte de saint germain x reader #ikemen vampire #ikemen vampire comte