I have seen antis claim reylo is toxic and abusive he gaslighted abused and tortured Rey and claim reylos are abuse apologists or that reylo normalizes abuse
I have some time today so let’s start with TOXIC:
“Toxic” is such an overused umbrella term and I tried really hard to find a good definition but there basically is none. Idk when or how is happened, but lying is suddenly not bad, but “toxic”, telling hard truths is suddenly “toxic”, ignoring people is suddenly not just mean, but “toxic”, fighting is “toxic”, screaming is “toxic”, ghosting is “toxic”, discussions (especially the ones people don’t like to have) are “toxic”, every relationship is suddenly “toxic”, gossiping is “toxic”, jokes are “toxic”, etc etc etc. I dare you to find a human being who isn’t “toxic” at least twice a day.
People just LOVE to throw the word toxic around because there’s no real definition which means you can’t really call them on their bullshit. E.g. racism, sexism and homophobia are clearly defined (even though people try to take power and impact away from these words by accusing basically everyone who doesn’t agree with them of either one of these things). The Star Wars universe doesn’t really care about race, gender or sexuality which means antis can’t accuse characters of these things to signal their virtue and show the world how much “holier than thou” they are. So they had to come of with something else - something, that cannot be defined nor (dis)proven which means they can’t be calld out for their blatant virtue signalling: toxic.
And it’s perfect, really. It can’t be defined, it can’t be proven, it’s purely subjective and it clearly SHOWS THE WHOLE WORLD HOW WOKE, OPEN MINDED AND GREAT YOU ARE! So yes, Reylo is toxic, Star Wars is toxic, Disn*y is toxic, Hollywood is toxic. But why stop there? men are toxic, women are toxic, children are toxic, babies are probably also already toxic. Society as a whole? very much toxic. Human relationships? toxic by default. Me? also very much toxic, on a daily basis. And you know what? it’s ok. It’s fine. We’re all human, we all make mistakes, we all lie, manipulate, gossip, make others feel bad. Maybe we don’t mean to, but we still do and IT’S OK.
Alright, now let’s move on to ABUSIVE (GASLIGHTING/TORTURE):
Sadly, I don’t know when it started (I guess around the second wave of feminism and the beginning of feminist criticism in academia, which I studied during my undergrad, btw) but somehow somewhere, each and every story was probably abusive towards women. Don’t get me wrong, there are enough stories by male and female(!!! and yes, I know internalized misogyny is a thing but it really doesn’t matter, I’m tired of this whole “women can’t be bad or abusive” bullshit) authors which REEK of misogyny, sexism, classism etc. and it’s really hard to read these opinions IN THE 21ST CENTURY, which is ok, because they were written during another period of time for and in another society.
However, these “look at these takes! these opinions! the poor women! :(” takes bled from UNIVERSITIES AND ACADEMIA into NORMAL HIGH SCHOOLS and students all arounf the world were force-fed with the very shallow basics of feminist criticism. That’s how we got hot takes like “every fairytale is abusive and sexist because the woman has to be saved by a prince!” which is not correct and clearly ignores the cultural development of storytelling and what it’s been used for ever since humans developed language skills. Anyway, it seems like today, especially in pop culture literature/movies/TV shows/etc, women and men can’t have any form of fight without claims of “abuse” and “sexism” which is slowly destroying the way we tell & process stories.
Rey and Kylo Ren have clearly been set up as “star crossed lovers” with a very obvious “enemies to lovers” (I will shorten this to ETL) arc holding the whole thing together. ETL is a very old, very simple and very interesting trope, because it gives conflict, allows each character to show a lot of emotions and still offers a happy ending. Readers have loved this trope for centuries and we still do because it’s fucking great.
Enemies to lovers is by default “abusive” or “toxic” or whatever because THEY START AS ENEMIES. In terms of Rey and Kylo they are not just enemies, they are on different sides OF A WHOLE FUCKING WAR. All is fair in love and war and Kylo and Rey have both. Of course they fight, of course they try to kill each other, of course he’s hurting her “friends”, because THEY ARE ON DIFFERENT SIDES OF THE FUCKING STAR WARS. What exactly do people not understand about the ENEMIES TO LOVERS trope? Enemies are mean to each other, they hurt each other, they want to kill each other and during those fights, they somehow realize that they can’t do it, even if they are given the chance (which happened to Rey when she slit Kylo open and it happened to Kylo in the rain). They can’t kill each other and they also won’t let anyone else kill the other one (throne room scene) which DOES NOT MEAN that they will work together or immediately fall in love, they just won’t let their beloved enemy be killed by anyone but them.
Enemies to lovers come in different shapes and not every story features them trying to kill each other (which ofc mostly makes sense in a sci-fi/war/fantasy setting) but some did and it’s ok. Buffy and Spike are a very famous example and they tried to kill each other constantlly AND THAT’S OK AND FITS THE TROPE. If people don’t like that trope, fine. But don’t try to shit on a whole type of literature (which is mostly written by women, btw) and act like you’re superior because you prefer “normal” love stories. “Playing hard to get” is another trope which gets a lot of shit and I personally just don’t get it. Just let people enjoy fiction? Without shaming them for the big great sin of... reading something you personally don’t like? It doesn’t make sense.
Yes, Rey and Kylo fight a lot. Yes, they hurt each other really bad and they even try to kill each other but they are ENEMIES AND AT WAR ON DIFFERENT SIDES. Sure, he went through her head without asking but you don’t exactly ask before you torture people? That’s not what torture is? And it’s not like the whole “Jedi trick” mind reading thing hurts a lot. If you compare Poe’s state after interrogation with Rey’s state you’ll maybe realize that he didn’t physically hurt her BECAUSE HE CHOSE NOT TO. Sure it was probably horrible to have someone else get into your head and comb through your memories but he didn’t do it because he thought “what a great monday morning, I think I’m gonna torture some girl today!” he did it to find information he needed in order to win the war he fought against her. She was a prisoner of war with vital information which he needed to get out of her. He could have physically tortured her to tell those secrets (which he obviously did with Poe) but HE CHOSE NOT TO.
And the whole gaslighting accusation? When did he ever act like he wasn’t a completely worthless monster? It’s not like he sent her flowers and a nice “sorry but you made me do this”-card. People are REACHING these days. Everything has to be bend in shape to fit their “men are bad and everything they do is abusive!!!”-agenda. I’m sorry but this is a fictional space opera with a VERY OBVIOUS enemies to lovers arc and a nod towards Pride and Prejudice (he’s an arrogant and ignorant prince/very high ranked member of the FO, she’s a scavenger girl who doesn’t even know who her parents are and doesn’t give af about his behaviour) and Romeo and Juliet (star crossed lovers from different sides of war who still fall in love and SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT PEACE WITH THEIR LOVE).
Finally, does Reylo NORMALIZE ABUSE?
Idk why but some people seem to forget that women aren’t stupid little angels who cannot comprehend “dark elements” of fiction without immediately wanting to copy those stories in real life? My poor female brain, it will be bamboozled by the fiction and I will fall victim to real life abuse solely because I liked Kylo Ren. Oh woe is me! If only someone would take those books away from me and burn them all! If only I never learned to read so I mustn’t be tempted with such stories! If only my father or husband could decide which hobbies or interests I should pursue to keep me safe and comfortable.
Sounds familiar? We already treated women like this, for centuries. I personally am glad we stopped, I begin to doubt that antis feel the same.
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Your opinion on white passing biracial (one black parent) celebrities/people?
Sorry it took so long to get around to this. I don't keep up w/ v many celebrities in general (which is why I'm always the last one to get news ab them lol), but to be real — & I'll just use celebs like Rashida Jones, Halle Berry, Zoë Kravitz, Tracee Ellis Ross & Tessa Thompson for example ig — half Black ppl & white passing mixed ppl get just as much time in the limelight automatically as white celebs imo. At the traditional expense of monoracial Blackness.
At length mixed celebs have more outlets & opportunities to act, wed (that one for strong colorist reasons perpetuated heaviest these days by monoracial Black male music artists), play focal roles in movies & tv shows, be on the cover of magazines consistently, have their work prioritised & distinguishable over monoracial Black People's, etc. I feel like light & fair skin (esp where women are the subject) has become a trendy division between what whiteness is (oppressive & privileged) & what Blackness isn't (fairly represented or respected).
I've even noticed a solace some mixed ppl find socially w/ being biracial as opposed to being monoracial. Truth be told I think it's less ab being the byproducts of two races (esp races w conflicting history for what irony's worth) & more ab looking phenotypically ambiguous enough that they don't seem Black at all. Among celebs & ur everyman. I've come across posts by biracial ppl here & on Twitter that openly grieve being half Black. No remorse ab being equally as half white. Just literally socially fatigued ab their Black traits specifically (whether it be their hair texture, skin complexion, ancestry, genetic susceptibilities, their eye color, physique, etc), & I just be feeling like uhm,,,, ok well then damn 😌 you're also half oppressor, indigenous land thief, slave owner as well as probable trader — but if being Black is literally bottom of the barrel between the two for you, who am I to talk you away from that ledge? Esp as a monoracial Black Person myself. Its like how the hell do you feel ab ppl who look like me, then, y'know?
I have nothing against light-skinned or white-passing half Black ppl, but oml I really hate how normal being adverse to being Black is — & I've also noticed how unbothered by it some mixed individuals are. It perpetuates the divisions that isolate brown & dark skinned women & men right there w the toxic & no less popular music/social networks that constantly remind monoracial Black People that they are not good enough or don't meet a particular cut.
That's cuts we don't meet to be humanized outside of fetishization or sexuality; that's cuts we don't meet to represent things that have always been culturally Black but that our complexions aren't “ambiguously aesthetic” enough to be a source for; thats cuts we don't meet to have an entirely monoracial Black family in commercials & advertisement; the cuts we don't meet to have representation of Black Couples where the woman's complexion isn't slightly to dramatically lighter than the man's; the cuts we don't meet to even be able to identify w/ our own music anymore what w/ the “Yall invited to the cookout!” bullshitery that overly friendly mono Black Folk never seem to understand is harmful twofold for our community, lineage & future.
Half Black celebs & regular-shmegular mixed ppl have a quality of privilege just short of what white ppl have to me. They get the defined human representation Monoracial Black People never have w/o a fight or some sort of social quarrel. They're the placeholders for the social stagnance white supremacy imposed on humanity, so they get put at the forefront as representatives in things knowledgeably Monoracially Black & seldom speak up or out for dark-skinned Black People where it really counts. Not to generalize all of them, but if some Half Black ppl were a little more consciously inclusive & considerate of how Mono Blacks are discluded at a still v consistent rate where mixed ppl have become the binary fav between “conservative anti-Black whites” & “liberal anti-Black Blacks”, then I might have a different opinion.
Tldr, at the end of the day tho woke Half Black Ppl who identify as & are comfortably Black are cool af imo✌🏽it's the anti-Black “team lightskin” & “i don't have a problem w white ppl using the n word towards or around me nor gaf why it offends mono Black People” types that come off as pretentious & colorist to me but that's just my shitty opinion. Every shade of Black is important to me as a Pro Black Woman, but personally I'm definitely more of a rider for Brown & Dark Skinned Black Women.
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Maria watches friday night lights (#12)
Alright y’all, I’m starting season 4! The Michael B. Jordan character has arrived. This is my post for 4x01.
Wait so I’m supposed to believe Landry and Julie were both younger? Why did I think Julie and Landry were the same age as Tyra and Saracen?
Oh heyyyy, young Michael B. Jordan! This is a really interesting time to see a plotline where two black cops bring a kid who “has only nonviolent offenses” and would “be on a bad path” if he was sent to juvie to Eric Taylor instead. (In reality, this kid would be churned into the prison industrial complex likely for the rest of his life and that’s why we’re out in these streets saying abolish the police!)
Weird to see Buddy Garrity on a different side than Eric now...also, boosters, can y’all stop sucking up to Tami when you got her husband fired this is awkward af
“I think it’s really important that we show we’re all in this together” -Joe McCoy literally go fuck yourself!!!
Lol I love how they showed a teacher babbling about specifically the Odyssey for like fifteen seconds before Riggins throws all his books out the literal window and comes home. Same, babe, I was assigned that book WAY too many times.
This town is toxic af if Eric literally can’t hang out with his old co workers without these coaches feeling like their job security would be in question?? JFC.
Poor Eric Taylor is just trying to get something fixed at Best Buy and he’s getting harassed by someone who wants a coaching job. His facial expressions kill me leave this poor man alone
“It’s not a Panther party!”
“Julie, Beth is a cheerleader, Friday is the first game, I think we can acquiesce to the fact it is a Panther party.” Love you Matt Saracen and your new S4 hair
Ew JD is such an asshole. “It sucks you didn’t go to Chicago like you were supposed to, I was totally gonna make a move on Julie. JK.” Dude you’re standing in like, a mansion rn and Matt’s delivering you pizza, kindly understand that you are the “rich” in “ eat the rich”
Why is Best Buy dude an Eric Taylor fan boy like I get it but also chill
Yay Devin is here!!! I missed our one and only Dillon lesbian
Ew JD really has transformed to full douche with his arm around this random girl, being an absolute asshole to Julie and Matt. I miss when he was an awkward freshman.
Did JD really just ask Matt what his problem was after he tried to throw Matt’s girlfriend in the pool while she screamed for him to stop? Also JD just said “this is my Dillon”???? BRO YOU ARE THE WORST I had sympathy for you before bc of your abusive dad but I’m done witchu.
I look away for a second and the Riggins brothers are rolling around on the floor fighting.
Grandma Saracen: You’re just a funny looking creature.
Landry: Okay, good seeing you.
But also oh Grandma Saracen seems like she’s getting worse 🥺
If I woke up after fucking some random girl and her daughter was singing The Star Spangled Banner in the kitchen I’d think I was dead. Also plz tell me Riggins isn’t gonna start fooling around with the daughter of a woman he fucked bc I can’t
The fact that the Eric Taylor Best Buy Guy is actually named Stan when the whole bit is that he’s essentially an Eric Taylor stan is hilarious.
“Will redistricting end football as we know it?” Oh this show.
Awww the first game of Tami and Eric’s relationship Tami has ever missed? So cute! “I’m gonna flip my coin and then I’m gonna sneak out to East Dillon.” My heart.
Lol Julie making Tami put her money where her mouth is by declaring she’s going to East Dillon is such a classic 17 year old girl move.
I love how Landry is like, translating football decorum for the rest of the East Dillon team. “take a knee!”
Oh I love the contrast between the crowded, overfunded panthers stadium versus the ragtag East Dillon field. These parallel shots showing class difference? Sign me tf up.
And having the daughter of the woman Riggins fucked sing the East Dillon anthem was a nice touch. This show really shows all the intricate ways football is weaved into the town’s culture!
Tami’s fuck you to Wade Aikmen/Joe McCoy with the coin toss YESSSS we love to see it
Did one of the East Dillon players just say he can’t feel his arms???
This East Dillon huddle dialogue is so hilariously accurate with them not remembering all the plays.
It is such a testament to Eric Taylor valuing the players themselves over anything else that he spends half time after a 45-0 half checking in with his injured players, then wordlessly leaves to tell the ref to forfeit.
Very intrigued to see where this season goes with this team!
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can i plssss get some trans man mc who's proudly feminine headcanons with the boys? like to where you wouldnt even think they were trans but they're comfortable with their presentation, you feel? (maybe some trans Levi and mammon maybe not who knows i dunno-)
I will admit this was a little bit of a challenge, but I wanted to take a shot at it. I looked up for reference and I relate a little because I still like feminine things, but I think I turn away from them because I find it harder to pass. So with a mix of research and some of my feelings I made these hc. Thank you for asking for these, because I tended to do an insecure occasionally secure masculine trans man, so yes let's do a trans man who is confident and doesn’t mind if he is feminine cause he still valid af. Article I looked at is
Please let me know if any of these come off inaccurate, not LGBT friendly or can be perceived as offensive because that isn’t my goal. I’m totally open to having this conversation in the comments or privately.
Trans man mc who's proudly feminine
You are a transman
But you didn’t strive for masculinity
You adore being feminine
You sometimes bind but you were fine and comfortable with your chest
You didn’t feel the need to confide to people’s idea of what a man should look like
It was based on the culture of toxic masculinity anyways saying a man should be a ‘manly’ man all the freaking time. It was tiring.
You didn’t mind too much when people used the wrong pronouns, you gently corrected when you bothered but you were a man and you knew it, so it didn’t matter what others think
Does have a puzzling and curious look
But completely accepts you for who you are
Asks question, being cautious to not overstep any boundaries
It was cute but also a little frustrating, but you knew he was just trying to be respectful
You finally told him that gender expression comes in a lot of different ways
Which he agreed to and then followed up with how you do it, how comfortable you were
You told him it took a few years and maybe occasionally on Earth it was hard because people are rude when they don’t understand. Like why not just be a lesbian, sometimes when you are frustrated or had enough you can get by as a gay trans man. But you came to terms with it and realized it didn’t matter what others thought. You were you and those who matter wouldn’t mind and those that mind didn’t matter
He totally gave you a small smile at that, he was really happy you felt that way and was just comfortable in your skin
He felt more comfortable to give you the occasional compliment
You would totally try and see if he wanted to test out a more feminine style simply because when he was stressed, he come and watch you do your makeup occasionally. He said your movements were really strong and confident it was relaxing.
Would never let you do it though. Except maybe one he asked about eye liner (Honestly I just want Lucifer in eyeliner tbh)
Asked the most question, some borderline offensive and insensitive
But you knew it because he cared and wanted to understand
In Devildom gender wasn’t a big deal here
But Mammon knew Earth and it customizes so he was just genuinely curious
Especially how men where perceived or should act
But most of these came from a place of him being trans and did get how you could do it sometimes
Because Mammon was a model and was always desperate to ensure he passed and always looked like a manly man
Mammon couldn’t truly relate but he offered modeling experiences that he thought kinda relate
Which maybe they did maybe they didn’t
But you enjoyed spending time with him and learning more about him
He would totally shyly ask you to do his makeup, especially if you wanted to practice
Either practice a new technique, product, or look
Totally enjoys it even if he denies it
But he liked to spend time with you and he actually enjoyed some of the looks you created
He ends up asking you for eyeliner and mascara recommendations
Mammon still asked questions and liked having discussions with you
And pushes his own thoughts, feelings, and opinions
Allows himself to embrace a little more of his feminine side
But usually with a lot of encouragement from you
His was on edge when he first wore a makeup look out
It was natural but it would be noticeable to his brothers
Expecting to be teasing but only Asmodeus commented on it
Saying it looked lovely and brought out his eyes
Which after you went back behind clothes doors
Mammon would be on that high for a long time
Enjoyed to indulge himself more often
Even went as far as getting a modeling gig that allowed him to be more feminine
It was his favorite gig he had ever done and he said you being there made it that much better.
Wasn’t able to contain his surprise
But was quickly stumbled through an apologize
Because he didn’t mind
If he doesn’t have anime or manga with Femme Trans Men/ didn’t already know of any, he did his research and found some for y’all to bond over
And he used it for some education purposes, but asked you if it was accurate or not
He would eventually ask of the problems you face
He would eventually come around and said he has played with this idea he could possibly non-binary, but he tended to see himself as more transmasculine/ trans man but just wasn’t sure. He just knew he hated the idea of just checking a box for his gender
He disclosed how he was he was envious of how confident you were in feminine things
You totally dragged him on a shopping trip
You bought him stuff he liked and kept it in your room so he wouldn’t feel insecure if his brothers say it.
You ended up getting him a flower crown (I’m so sorry I couldn’t resist)
But you hang out a lot more and bonded with each other over anime, manga and even makeup
Levi won’t let you do his makeup, but he enjoys watching you
He says it’s really calming
You helped him push his boundaries
And telling him it doesn’t make him less of a man by enjoying feminine things
He would tell you, you helped him a lot with confirming his identity but you would refuse to take credit
Saying all you did was encourage him and create a place where he faced no judgment.
You casually mentioned it to him while he was reading
He simply hummed in response
Until it seemed to register with him
He was really sweet but casually with it
He asked how much people’s opinions impacted you
You told him it might get to you sometimes but you were confident enough in your identity and appearance that at the end of the day it doesn’t matter
He ends going to one of his many stacks of books and pulled out a book before sitting down beside you
He tells you it from the Celestial Realm, but it contained information about Devildom
He flipped to a certain page and read it to you
That angels didn’t have genders and only adopted a gender when they presented themselves to humans
And then he was up again finding another people
About gender identity and expression
And how there are cultures that have similar ideas
It was really sweet honestly
He said he just wanted to make sure you felt valid and while he didn’t understand what it was like, he understood the concept and completely accepted it
Whenever there was an event that required dressed up
You would do your makeup in his bathroom
He would read to you
Totally gifted you makeup look books as well as magazines that had feminine male in them
Just small things that show he thinks about you.
Probably the most understanding
He loved embracing his feminine side, so he had a better idea than most of the brothers
Says he desperate needs more shopping trips with you
Does your makeup or asks you all the time to do it
He honestly just loves and adores it
Completely hypes you up all the time
Wants (he says it’s a need) fashion shows
But you also help him embrace a more feminine style as well
He would tell you about how he always wanted to try dresses, skirts, things that always seemed forbidden to him
While he might not wear it in public, whenever you were behind closed doors, he would occasionally wear one and do fashion shows for you
Then it was your turn to hype him up because you found out he was actually really insecure
Beelz never questioned it,
Was your hype man
Thoroughly enjoyed watching you get ready
And seeing your style
Would totally buy you things once in a while
He stuck more towards jewelry instead of clothes
But they were still cute pieces and kind thoughts
You would incorporate every piece into your next day outfit
Beelz reaction was totally work it
You would talk about it sometimes
He would hype you up or comfort you if needed
But a lot of times you were okay, you knew when you looked good and you identify was valid regardless of what others think
Would occasionally ask questions but nothing to extreme
Definitely made sure you felt love and valid at all times
It was during lazy cuddling
Like he knew your name and how you presented yourself
But never gave it much thought
His eyes widen in surprise but went back to be somewhat shut
He told you it was all fine, all good
He made sure you felt valid and loved from his reaction
But in the moment, it didn’t go beyond that
Also lets you do makeup
Actually, you were dared to do his makeup while he was asleep
And you took the challenge
When he woke up he was annoyed at first
But later he told you, he actually liked how he looked
Eyeliner/smokey eye became a thing for him
You would talk a lot of what you thought/felt/ and your experiences
He just wanted to get to know you more and this seemed like to be an easy way to do so
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