No More Fucking Butterflies (19/30)
I have decided the next man I meet
who makes me nervous
is getting blocked,
walked away from-
I'll run if I have to.
No conversation,
no glances,
no more whirlwind romances,
I'm not giving chances.
I'm through.
Who the hell decided butterflies in the tummy
was something to romanticize in the first place?
For me, I think it's my body trying to tell me to
get as far as I can from this demonic creature
who will only cause me harm but
I kept thinking it's a good thing if his presence
can make me stumble over words.
Hell no.
Neutrality is the way to go.
The man you're mostly unaware of
until he gives you good reasons to be.
The one who doesn’t prey on the
unbalanced chemical reaction that happens
when you lay eyes on him.
And maybe the love story won't be
the stuff of an indie romance film
but it will be stable and real.
It won't give you more material from which to heal.
It will provide you with bliss more enduring
than the intoxications of fleeting butterflies.
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Description of my chapbook and can be purchased at Bottlecap Press in physical or PDF format.
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Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared
The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!
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All my thoughts are stuck in this beautiful head of mine - probably for the best.
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when mitski said “your mother wouldn't approve of how my mother raised me” & when sza said “wish i was the type of girl that you take over to mama” & when lorde said “i’m a little much for everyone”
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📚
"You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive." - James Baldwin
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En Gratitud
I've been meaning to
saunter my way back to this space
but I always hesitate-
Mostly because I have everything
yet nothing I want to say
and I'm often afraid of the words
my brain amalgamates in haste.
But, whoever you are
wherever you are
whatever you aren't-
You are appreciated.
The knowing that on any given day
an unknown person out there
might be reading these poems I write
as an act of radical self-love, self-care,
healing, resistance, resurrection,
both medicine and illness,
but mostly in hopes to understand
and be understood
could be out there understanding
and being understood too
helps me to feel I have done more
than merely exist.
For that feeling,
I am immensely grateful.
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“I share with you, under the moon, my heart, my soul, my friendship. Through bittersweet and joyous love, together, we take on this trip.”
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Source: Pearls Of Passion: A Treasury of Lesbian Erotica - edited by C. Allyson Lee and Makeda Silvera
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