#without putting them on any sort of pedestal

[seramilla]

Vaggie would probably be semi-happy at finally having some answers to her origin but she'd definitely be confused and lost on how to react to learning that not only was she Carmillas daughter that hadn't been born but that she technically had a family this whole time...that she never had a chance to live...but that wow. Her mother and sisters had loved her a lot and wanted her so much...

Vaggie has been trained her entire life not to let her feelings get to her. From her earliest moment of awareness, her earliest memory, she was handed a spear and an order from her commander, to fight for the purity of Heaven, ensuring the filthy Sinners that dwelled below never had the chance to even dream of an uprising.

Vaggie had never questioned it. She'd made it to Heaven, so that must have been for a reason. She couldn't remember anything that came before, and that bothered her for a while, but the promises of glory, riches, and prominence atop Heaven's highest pedestal quickly took the place of that longing. Any desire for information was overcome by the drive to prove herself. Any abuse she faced must have been worth it -- she was one of Heaven's elite fighting forces. That was more than enough for her...right?

But lying here, next to Carmilla, who'd literally crawled into the much-too-small hospital bed beside her...holding her, cradling her, as she cried an afterlife's worth of tears into her pillow...Vaggie experiences a culmination of feelings she'd never been allowed to feel before. Those questions, that loss, come roaring back to the forefront of her mind like a freight train.

She has so many questions. So many fears, worries, and aches in her heart. All the things she never got to experience. They all fight to come out of her mouth at the same time, but she also wants to cry. That desire, she can't hold back. Is this how children are? The most basic, primitive human desire, when a tiny human wants to express its wants and needs, but can't, because it doesn't yet have the words, or the capability to ask them?

She's becoming familiar with that feeling. This primitive desire wins out in the end, so the child that Vaggie never got to be starts to come out. She cries, and wails, and asks why, even if her words are slurred, or otherwise unintelligible. It doesn't matter to Carmilla. Carmilla doesn't know the answers to all the questions, but she'll hold her, even still, and try to answer them. And provide some sort of comfort, the way only a mother can. For as long as Vaggie needs.

The bed is too big for the both of them, but she'll hang her feet off the edge just fine. She'll put her head next to Vaggie's too-thin pillow, and draw her as close as she can, providing her shoulder if it's more comfortable. She couldn't do it before. So many lost years, so many missed opportunities, those are things they'll never get back...but she can do this now. Be there for Vaggie at this moment. Now is all that matters, so she'll make it count. For her girl. For the child, and also the young woman, she'd grown up to be without her.

#hazbin hotel #carmilla carmine #vaggie #ask #anon #fan theories #vaggie carmilla related au

[hawkinsbnbg]

Steve got Good boy inscribed on his butt, just on the right cheek.

It would be funny if it was a tattoo Steve had gotten one time when he was too drunk and on a dare.

Except it wasn't a tattoo. At all.

Even though it kind of looked like one.

It was the first words his soulmate would say to him.

When Steve first got it, his friends had given him odd looks in the locker room.

Tommy would use many excuses to touch and even Billy wouldn't shut up about it.

As for Carol, she just cackled her head off when he showed it to her.

Still, whenever Steve was alone, he would look at the words in the mirror and feel kinda giddy about the whole thing.

Who would call someone they had just met "good boy"? What if they were far older than him?

And what would his words be for them? "Yes sir"? "Hello sir"?

Soon, he found his answer when he learned about the BDSM world, which Robin had jokingly mentioned one time.

And Steve sort of fell down the rabbit hole since then.

He met many men and women who would call him "good boy", and occasionally "good girl".

But none of them felt right.

Until he heard about Kas.

Who was known to be an experienced dom and knew how to treat his subs right.

Most of the subs in Steve's circle put the man on a pedestal. They practically worshipped the ground he walked on.

And Steve had become curious enough to seek him out.

A quick text over the phone and Steve already had a date with Kas at a hotel on Friday night.

Once the day arrived, he dolled himself up a little, knowing many doms liked how rosy cheeks and pouty lips he was.

He even wore lipgloss and mascara just for good luck.

His outfit was simple enough to take off, but cute nonetheless.

A yellow and pink graffitied black sweater that was a little baggy on him, a tiny pearl choker, silver bracelets, a pair of jeans shorts, and baby pink sneakers.

He looked like a twink, all things considered.

It wasn't his first time dressing like this and it wouldn't be the last time, either.

Steve just..

Well, he just wanted to make sure if he stumbled on his soulmate who happened to be a dom, he wouldn't disappoint them too badly.

It had been years since his word first appeared. So he had the right to be a little bit desperate.

Steve didn't know why, but by the time he got to the hotel, he was a puddle of nerves.

He figured that maybe it was the "Kas' effect" that many people had told him about.

When the door opened to let Kas into the room, Steve just knew this man was going to rock his world.

Kas was attractive and tall. Easily having a couple of inches on him.

With long curly hair, big brown eyes, and plump lips, the man looked surprisingly intimidating.

He wore a burgundy shirt with sleeves rolled up to the elbows, showing his tattoos and chunky silver rings.

His pants and heavy boots were made of leather, which Steve suddenly wanted to rub himself on.

He seemed to be a lanky type, but Steve knew better than to assume anything.

As Kas languidly made his way to the bed, Steve unconsciously slid down to the floor and got on his knees, waiting for his order.

Yeah, he was a good boy like that.

There was a reason why many doms had asked to keep him despite knowing he only let his soulmate own him.

Kas wasn't any different.

The man smiled at him, dimpled and warm, making Steve woozy a bit at being praised even wordlessly.

Once Kas sat down, he spread his thighs slightly and patted a hand on his lap.

Understanding the silent command immediately, Steve climbed up on it without being told twice.

He blushed and giggled a bit when strong arms wrapped around his waist securely.

"Good boy," said Kas huskily, smelling of cigarettes and something spicy. "What do you want for your reward, sweetheart?"

Steve felt his breath hitched at that. He knew the chance wasn't high but–

"Can I kiss you, sir?" He asked coyly, playing his role to perfection.

This time, it was Kas who took a sharp intake.

Surprise, disbelief, uncertainty, hope, and finally, joy settled on the man's handsome features.

Kas smiled at him again, more genuine and hopeful.

"Baby boy, do you know that I have those words written on my left ribs my entire life?"

"Show me," Steve demanded, unable to keep up the act when he was so close to finding his soulmate.

Without protest, Kas unbuttoned his shirt and there it was, scribbled on the man's pale skin was Can I kiss you, sir? in his handwriting.

Smiling fondly, Steve traced his fingers on those words.

They sounded so sweet. And yet concerning if being put into the wrong context.

What a pair they made.

"Can you show me yours, sweetheart?" Kas asked tentatively, looking unsure despite having been so confident just a few minutes ago.

"Yeah, sure, of course," Steve scrambled up from the man's lap and blushed as he turned around to unzip and pull down his shorts.

Hearing Kas curse quietly behind him was, perhaps, the most flattering moment in his life.

He could see what kind of an image he made with his baggy sweater bunching up around his waist, white thong, and Good boy being inked on his tanned buttcheek.

Some would call it hot, sexy, or erotic.

But Steve knew how obscene he looked with those words on him.

Especially when he was face down and ass up, waiting to be fucked into oblivion.

Not that he had let anyone fuck him, yet. But he wouldn't mind if Kas did it tonight.

Steve shuddered slightly as calloused fingers brushed on his cool skin, and let out a moan when hot lips placed a tender kiss on his cheek.

Then without pausing, strong hands grabbed his hips before sharp teeth sank into his flesh, eliciting a yelp from him.

It wasn't painful. It just made Steve want to ask for more. So he turned around to do exactly that.

"Kas–"

"Call me Eddie," the man tugged him back into his lap.

"Eddie," he breathed out as he straddled the man's thighs.

"Yes, my sunshine?" Eddie smiled adoringly at him.

"Can I kiss you now?" Steve braced his hands on the broad shoulders with a raised eyebrow.

Tightening the arms around his waist, Eddie pecked him on his chin, sweet and loving.

"How about I let you kiss me for the rest of our lives, my pretty angel?"

"And I'll be yours for as long as we live?" Steve murmured against those plump lips.

"Yeah, gonna treat you right, my good boy," Eddie chuckled before drawing him into a fervent kiss.

Steve was so going to thank that Chrissy girl who had sold him her mascara and lipgloss later.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #soulmates steddie #sub steve harrington #dom eddie munson #meet sexy #sionewrites

[mylight-png]

A while ago I was listening to Dara Horn's podcast relating to her book, People Love Dead Jews. Within this podcast she discussed the fact that Holocaust museums tend to center stories that highlight ways in which Jews were just like anyone else, putting secular Jews on a pedestal of sorts.

The podcast went on to make the point that we shouldn't have to be like them to be liked. A Jew in a kippah is just as worthy of being accepted as a Jew in a baseball cap, and to position one, the more assimilated one, as "better" is antisemitic.

This made me think of how movies and shows portray Jews, and I realized a similar pattern of idealizing assimilation is deeply prevalent.

There are two main ways Jews are portrayed in movies/shows that I've noticed that are problematic. (For a narrower scope I'll be discussing American media as I am more familiar with that than most other countries.)

The first kind of Jewish representation is the token Jew. This is the character that the viewer wouldn't even have known is Jewish had the show not casually mentioned them celebrating Hanukkah in passing. This is the character who is entirely the same as any other character. An example of this would be in Ginny and Georgia, where a few side characters are revealed to be Jewish. This reveal occurred only for the purpose of making a Hanukkah episode, and immediately one of the characters says the beginning words to most of our prayers, adding "bitch" at the end. This sort of absolutely blatant disrespect towards the words many of us wouldn't even speak fully in casual conversation is meant to indicate that it's okay to poke fun at our religion. (By the way, it isn't okay. Don't disrespect our religion, thanks.) (And no the actress wasn't Jewish.)

Then there's Ben Gross from Never Have I Ever, a similarly extremely assimilated Jewish character. Instead of making fun of Judaism, however, the show plays into Jewish stereotypes. Ben's dad is a wealthy influential lawyer who works with Hollywood. Come on, there's three in a row there. Ben himself is frequently made fun of for being very short (to an extent not befitting the actor's actual stature), and some of his mannerisms could be described as effeminate. All of these traits play into anti-Jewish stereotypes. The protagonist even says she wishes Ben was killed by Nazis and other than a scolding this isn't made to be the big deal that it is.

These sorts of characters are meant to show how Jews are "just like you!" and pokes cruel fun at the few remaining things that do occasionally set them apart. Yes, secular Jews exist, but the way these shows make fun of their Jewish identities is where the issue arises.

The second problematic representation is meant to make goyim feel good about being goyim. This is specifically done through how Judaism is portrayed in these movies.

A major example of this is the show Unorthodox, in which the plot centers a young girl trying to escape her very observant community. This show directly demonized the Jewish religion, making it appear inherently oppressive and twisted.

While some may argue that the show was merely trying to portray the social issues within the community, there are better ways to achieve this.

The book An Unorthodox Match takes on a similar task with a vastly different tone. The book centers a protagonist joining an equally observant community, but not for a moment does the book, author, or protagonist blame Judaism. The book is very clearly written by a Jew who loves Judaism, and yet it manages to highlight similar social issues to the show without blaming Judaism. In fact, Jewish traditions have a fair share of appreciation in the book!

This sort of media is meant to make the goyishe viewers be grateful they aren't part of those communities, but as a Jewish viewer I felt deeply uncomfortable with the positioning of religious Jews as a negative part of society. This media makes the characters seem like they have nothing at all in common with the goyim around them or the goyim watching the show. It's the polar opposite of the previous example.

The first example is showing Jews as "just like anyone else" until they aren't, while the second example portrays Jews as entirely other. Never have I seen an Orthodox Jewish character side by side with the non-Jewish characters in any other context than the Jewish character envying their non-Jewish peers.

Why is the choice either to be assimilated or othered? Why can we not have an observant Jewish character remind their friends that they can't hang out on Saturday, or maybe they bring their own kosher snacks? Maybe a Jewish character muttering a bracha over their food? Why not make being Jewish an important part of their character without making them self-loathe because of it?

Media almost only ever shows two extremes and neither of those extremes has a positive impact on the perception of Jews.

(There is also a pattern I've noticed with Jews and goyim being cast in Jewish roles and how that corresponds to the character, but that's probably another post for another time.)

#jumblr #jewish #judaism #jew #antisemitism #Antisemitism in media #long post #sorry for the mini essay haha

[stickandthorn]

🔥

Oooh. People have GOTTA stop putting popular actual play DMs on a fucked up mile high pedestal. Yes I think Matt and Aabria and Brennan etc are all wonderful DMs with various impressive skillsets and fun personalities. And I do think Aabria specifically has gotten a lot of undue backlash and harassment for being a very prominent woman of color in these spaces, and I believe some of the mythologizing comes from a very rightful pushback against that. That being said. All of these people are real people who make mistakes, and treating any of them as some sort of god like creature of infinite skill and coolness who can do no wrong, both as people and DMs, is not only weird and dehumanizing, but will probably end up worse in the long run than if you just treated them like normal people. That type of mythologizing will often lead to worse harassment when they do something a mythologizing fan doesn’t like, because it will make a mistake or just something that particular person dislikes (both normal parts of being human) feel like some insane betrayal to that fan. You can appreciate these people without this level of pedestaling. Also you don’t need to compare your DMing style to theirs constantly, you can take inspiration without doing that and I promise you that you’ll feel better after. I still think all 3 are super cool. Go with love and peace my children.

#ask game #captainofthetidesbreath #ask #answered

[cupcakeslushie]

Ayup! So, question about Donnie's view of his brothers:

He's never met Raph, only seen him once, hasn't actually met Mikey but has kinda stalked him, and talking to Leo was like talking to a filing cabinet. He loves them, but he also hallucinates them, and does he just have kind of made up personalities for them in his head, based off of so little?

“Talking to a filing cabinet” (wheeze) sorry I just gotta take a sec…(ﾟ∀ﾟ)

So before actually meeting them all, and forming a real bond with his brothers, Three is obsessed with comparing himself to them. Not necessarily in a bad, resentful way, but in a sadly unachievable desperate way. He (by way of listening to Draxum) puts them all on pedestals without actually knowing their skills. He just assumes they would be perfect, strong specimens, and never really thinks much of what their personalities are like. While the hallucinations that constantly plague him are convincing enough to fool him in the moment. Three is still able to remind himself in the after, that they are not his brothers. Most days he talks more to those shadows, than Draxum, the goyles, or even Vee. They almost never leave him, especially in the last year, when, as far as he knows, Vee has just up and disappeared on him.

Through the footage he can get his hands on, he sees Mikey’s resilience in battle, and is curious about the mystical acumen there. Vee tells him about how The Oni spares more lives than Big Mama demands he take, all while still managing to make an entertaining enough performance that he avoids being punished for his mercy. Mickey doesn’t even realize he’s doing it in those battles, but he’s mimicking the theatrical Leo from his memories, when they would all play together, and his big brother would weave these bright and lively stories for them act out. Donnie is very protective of Mikey, as Draxum has always held Four over Three’s head. When they meet, Donnie is really thrown off by how happy and bright Michelangelo is.

For Raph, Three is baffled by the kind expression he sees on One’s face. Three has always assumed he would be an absolute power house monster, based solely off his species and the size he must be. When Three watches Raph rescuing Mickey from Big Mama—a scenario Three could only dream of completing—there’s a kindness and type of strength, Three had never even considered. Three grows desperate to experience that safe feeling, but it also brings a sort of hopelessness. Subconsciously he begins waiting for a similar kind of rescue. When he meets Raph, Donnie is on his best behavior. Raph is a sweet and caring blanket of comfort, but he’s still huge and a possible threat. If Donnie makes Raph unhappy in any way, he could be kicked out, and sent back to Draxum.

For Leo, yes, it is sometimes like talking to a brick wall. Three gets almost nothing from him, except a feeling of failure. Draxum is expecting Three to convert Leonardo to their cause, or at the very least gain some inside knowledge that they can exploit at the right time. But Leo is so unyielding, Three is almost more scared to talk to him than anything, because can never make any headway. But Draxum doesn’t accept failure, so Three goes all in every single time. When he meets Leo again, it’s like being reunited with a stranger. Leo is guilty and overcompensating for his cold attitude towards Three, but he still has some moments where his anger is scary.

#rottmnt #ask slushie #separated au #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt separated au #rise donnie #rise leo #rise raph #rise mikey #ew au #sep!au infodump #Empyrean Weeping Au

[simplyreveries]

Hi, there! :D

I saw that orders are open so if it's not too much trouble I would like to request:

Type: Headcanons (Romantic) Reader: Female

Scenario: How do they (Silver, Jade and Deuce) handle jealousy when they see that the prefect (his crush) starts getting suitors or admirers from other students?

If my request does not convince you, you can discard it without problems, but if not, take your time and without pressure. Thanks :D (i shyly leaves the blog)

jealousy; silver, jade, and deuce

thanks for being patient!! love the request<3

silver

he hasn't had much experience with love, and you know, actually having feelings for someone. he doesn't know what to say or what to really do when it comes to someone like you, that has become so special and dear to him- he doesn't like this feeling of being jealousy one bit, feeling the twinge and burning in his chest when he sees others making advances towards you. he feels as if it's almost inevitable though, he puts you on such a pedestal that he isn't surprised you would have some suitors and people chasing after you.

silver is a bit awkward around you as he doesn't exactly know how to act, he seems to usually be his quiet drowsy self, he is someone who would show you how much you mean to him rather than say it. which is why you would usually find him being around you quite often, also because he is naturally protective of you. which only then lead to the frustrating feeling of jealousy in the first place when he sees how much others sought after you, especially one certain student. he never said anything about it.

he finds himself practicing and training a lot, a lot more than usual as a way to take his mind off the feeling but nevertheless it only makes him think about it more. it only took until lilia noticed his different behavior and it'd lead to him explaining what he’s feeling to his father. lilia would only laugh at how oh so obvious what he’s experiencing and try to give him some advice (is that advice good? who knows.) but he has silvers best interest at heart.

after that i feel like silver would prompt to trying to be more open to how he feels about you, he’ll try to show more through his actions- as usual but tenfold. he isn't someone to be outright mean, but he does… get a little sharper and he tends to move more in front of you to maintain distance away from one of the students actively pursuing you. it's funny in comparison to how sweet he can be around you his mood turns during the chance he sees that boy.

jade leech

oh boy…. jade and jealously is not something that go well together. you would never really suspect him of harboring any sort of jealousy towards some students trying to go after you, it's just usual jade behavior. you don't exactly know what he's thinking behind his courteous smile. he treats you and the others all the same, though it is a little unnerving. in fact, if you ever came up to him telling him about something sweet a student did for you, he’d smile and be like “how lovely, you already have so many admirers hm?” hes plotting

i just know whenever some guy is trying to get all chatty with you when he is around, they feel so unnerved by him its insane, he is giving the student the look and when you turn back to him it's a complete change with a smile. and jade may not be the most understanding of human-land courting and the way love really works on land, but he can still easily out do like anyone that comes your way. jade has mastered ways to get your attention solely back on him, with sweetly spoken words and compliments hehe.

has a habit of talking poorly or down any students that are interested in you. he has usually a huge amount of dirt of fellow students and he's ready to spill it out subtly in order to have you keep your distance from them.

lowkey i would feel bad for the poor student that kept going after you, even after noticing jade's presence around you. with jade practically infatuated with you, it will make him do anything. he's never been someone that doesn't get what he wants. needless to say, some of these admirers would most likely get themselves roped up into trouble with azul.

deuce spade

deuce is genuinely so upset when he hears you telling him and ace about some love letters from an admirer you've been receiving, like he gives you the worst attempt and a laugh and smile being supportive and happy for you. it's so painfully obvious has literally dying inside. he does have his moments though where he takes it personally when some student tries to flirt with you when he’s around you. he is pretty protective of his friends but especially you— it was funny to see him try to get in the face of that one big savanaclaw guy flirting with you ahhakjsdhs

he wants to desperately one up the others so bad, but he doesn't know how. he definitely has called his mom up at some point to be like “mom what do girls like in guys??” kind of thing. he tries so hard to look cool and amazing in your eyes, but those attempts end up with him making a fool of himself and him nervously laughing it off when he sees you giggling. his face does light up when he sees that, surely, he must be doing something right. despite ace and grim’s teasing he can't wipe the smile off his face when you're happy because of him.

sometimes he does feel a little inferior considering he doesn't feel the brightest or suave in comparison towards some of the attention you may receive. but every fumbling sentence of compliments and such he gives you; he means it so genuinely.

although at other times when he does feel upset because of some admirer he always remembers that he's one of the first people you became friends with since you’ve gotten to nrc, you consider him one of your closest friends in fact! he feels quite proud of that…. for now, he does plan on becoming more than just that.

#twst #disney twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twisted wonderland #twst headcanons #twst wonderland #twst imagines #twisted wonderland #jade x reader #silver x reader #deuce x reader #jade leech x reader #deuce spade x reader

[vesora]

dealing with fear of abandonment through LOA + general tips

personal backstory / long post ahead

“Change your conception of yourself and you will automatically change the world in which you live. Do not try to change people; they are only messengers telling you who you are. Revalue yourself and they will confirm the change.” ― Neville Goddard, Your Faith is Your Fortune

as a child, my needs were not met and therefore, i developed a schema that people were meant to disappoint me and leave me and my relationships, both platonic and romantic reflected EXACTLY that.

countless times, i was ‘left’ without any reason, always strengthening the notion i had always felt that people were meant to abandon me. even if i was close to someone, i would still engage in self-sabotaging behaviours when i felt disappointed by the expectations i had set for them. feeling this lack of control when it came to relationships because i was so deathly afraid of being left alone; of disappointing the other. not putting myself first because i felt the only sense of worth i had was through whether another found me worthy. this is all very hard for me to say of course, im a private person but i felt maybe someone at least needed to hear this. my parent would be nice at one point and disinterested in the other, i felt i had to work to gain their approval and for them to be nice to me all the time. i needed them to view me as perfect, so they wouldn’t leave me. but guess what guys? thats stupid, bcos fuck perfection.

in my abandonment activation strategies/self-sabotaging behaviours, my body would go into a state of desperation, in dire need of any sort of relief and safety, crying my heart out because i was so scared, leaving people because i was scared of being left first. being scared i was being clingy by asking for reassurance which in turn sends me into another frenzy, isolating myself from people so i have no chances to be hurt, feeling resentment when someone doesnt meet my expectations/needs through no fault of their own. my inner child would just take over my body, repeating the same distress i experienced as a kid. 

but i am not a kid anymore. i am a well-functioning adult and i cannot continue this abandonment schema. so what do i do?

i use loa. 

how to use loa + general tips for this:

recognise that everything and everyone is you pushed out. your relationships play out the way you assume they will. this is not to say at all what happened when you were a child was your fault. we are not to blame. our needs were simply not met.

change the way you view relationships, no matter how hard it may be. if everyone is just us, how can anyone else abandon us? not even that, why would anyone leave us? we are amazing and fun and good people

be someone YOU are proud of, irrespective of what other people think. all is mind, so why do you think you need to impress someone who’s just another part of you? a part that can easily be molded

you are not clingy. you are not desperate. you are not unworthy. you are not unlovable. repeat affirmations that you are lovable. that you deserve to have your needs met. that everyone meets your needs. that you never feel abandoned. that you love yourself unconditionally. YOU are on the pedestal, NOT anyone else.

if someone is emotionally unavailable, this DOES NOT mean they do not love or care about you! they might be busy, not be well-versed with showing emotions in a healthy way, express their love in a different way than yours or they may simply be going through something in their lives right now. 

when this happens, you can talk to the person about it and usually in my experience, the person understands and reassures me that they still love me and that we are okay. if a person is not willing to make sure you are okay, maybe rethink their position in your lives. you are the pedestal, not them. now just because someone reassures you doesn’t mean you don’t work on yourself. you do work on yourself through LOA and useful strategies.

take deep belly breaths when you feel yourself get triggered. it is okay. you are going to be okay, i promise. the next day im sure you will feel fine. it is not the end of the world, i promise you. the world IS you. just change it.

reassure your inner child and your adult self that you are okay now. you are the best version of yourself right now. you are safe. you are secure. you are not in danger. your life is in YOUR hands. YOU are in control. YOU created this life. the only way to change it is within.

if you feel impatient and you want things to change IMMEDIATELY, i.e. when youre having a panic attack, take deep breaths and remember this is temporary. remember you are in control of what happens but also do not be attached to any outcome, just have faith that everything works out in your favour.

if you feel resentment when someone doesn’t meet your expectations, do NOT use strategies to hurt them or leave them. just calm down and view them with a gaze of love. transmute this feeling of resentment and abandonment to love and understanding, you can even visualise it. they still love you, you can manifest them to love you the way you want to idk but still they love you! don’t try to make them jealous, don’t distance yourself, don’t do whatever you do to get ‘revenge’ idk, it is NOT healthy. it only hurts YOU in the end. plus, LOA dictates the way people act with you is a reflection of yourself, so all you need to do is change self.

no matter what, KNOW you are loved. even if your body is freaking out and wants to flee, tell yourself in the moment it will pass. it has to. your trauma trigger reactions are NOT you. 

it may be hard to believe that someone loves you. for me, i felt like i was delusional. that i was kidding myself, because how dare i assume someone loves me? that’s why i kept seeking external reassurance for any semblance of love because i was not giving that reassurance to myself internally. and when someone didn’t give me that reassurance in the 3d, i’d freak out, even though i had manifested it unknowingly. how can i go to the 3d and ask for love when everything, good and bad, is within me? as the creator, how can i not tell myself i am worthy of love and that people close to me love me? how can i not believe that when all is me? it is a bit stupid to think like that, no? well i did, and to an extent i still do. but i’m recovering. i deserve to live a life where i am not constantly afraid. i deserve to live a life where i can speak with confidence that someone loves me. it is hard for me, even now, but i know i will get through it, as will you. 

let’s be brazenly impudent together, shall we?

“Dare to believe in the reality of your assumption and watch the world play its part relative to to its fulfillment.” ― Neville Goddard

#abandonment issues #abandonment #fear of abandonment #attachment #anxious attachment #attachment anxiety #trauma response #loa #law of assumption #neville #neville goddard #law of attraction #law of belief #manifest #manifestation #manifesting #consciousness #psychology #awareness

[bradshawssugarbaby]

Call Me When You Get Home - Jake Seresin x Reader

A/N: I decided to try my hand at writing based on prompts from these lists: one / two and my favourite characters from Top Gun: Maverick, so, here's the first one from my works list.

pairing: Jake Seresin x reader

prompt: no. 7 - "call me when you get home, so I know you’re safe.”

warnings/content: alludes to some spiciness, unlucky in relationships, ends in fluff. mild swearing.

word count: 1.9k

You’d never been one for relationships. You’d grown sick of broken hearts and forced apologies, and constant letdowns, and at this point in your life, you didn’t want to waste any more time being unhappy or anxious or scared that at any moment, the one thing you’d grown to rely on being there could be taken from you without warning. You were tired of the constant back and forth on holidays to visit family members neither of you could stand, and who frankly, couldn’t stand you either. You were sick of the way that everyone put relationships up on a pedestal, to be coveted and desired more than anything else in life. You were over it all, and you had convinced yourself it was for your own good, that it was better this way. 

That was, until you met him.

Lieutenant Jake Seresin had wandered into your life last fall. You’d been home to attend your aunt Penny’s wedding, her having finally gotten married to Captain Pete Mitchell, after several years of back and forth between them. At first glance, Jake was exactly the type of guy you’d go for - he was single, and preferred it that way. He never wanted to be tied down or have someone waiting for him at home - he claimed it was just “who he was”, but you knew there was more to it than that - he was afraid of the same things you were, in a sense. In Jake’s mind, if he had no one waiting for him at home, then he’d never have to worry about there being that chance of him not coming home from a mission. He wouldn’t have to worry about leaving someone behind, and that was just easier for him and his life as a Naval Air Force pilot. 

However, your cousin Amelia and your new uncle had different plans in mind. They saw the two of you as one in the same - you were both running and hiding from the same thing, in a sense. You refused to fall in love out of fear of someone getting hurt. They had “accidentally” seated the two of you at the same table at the wedding, side by side. Jake had been drinking a beer while you sipped a vodka-cran, the same one you’d been nursing for the previous hour since cocktails were served before the reception. His tall, tanned figure looked like heaven in his white dress uniform, his blonde hair gelled upwards slightly in the front, trimmed and neat in the back. He was gorgeous, and boy, did he know it. 

After countless drinks shared between the two of you (and you were eternally grateful that night for Captain Mitchell’s deep pockets and the idea of an open bar), a brief fling in the back of Jake’s truck, and an exchanging of phone numbers over coffee the next morning as you both sobered up, you’d found yourself wondering if, maybe, just maybe, you could be open to something with him - not a relationship, but an agreement of sorts. No dates to speak of, no pressure to label things, and no timelines forcing either of you to do anything - just, enjoying each other’s company on your own terms, without the awkward “I love yous” and breakups that you were used to, and without Jake’s fear of having someone be left behind if anything were to happen to him. Just...more than friends. 

It was a few months into your arrangement of “more than friends” the first time he said it. You were surprised it was Jake who said it first - you’d never thought of him as being the caring, thoughtful type, he’d always been so laidback and carefree, with a hint of arrogance to him and his teasing, that it completely caught you off guard when he said it after a night spent at his apartment off base. 

“Hey, just, you know…call me when you get home, ok? So I know you made it home safe?” he’d said.

His soft smile and the kind look in his green eyes, his hand resting on the door frame as he looked at you, standing there in a tight fitted white t-shirt and his sweatpants as he said goodbye to you before you headed back to your house that morning. Any other time, he would have just given you the same, standard, “I’ll text you later.” or a basic “I’ll call you, yeah?”. Normally, him saying he wanted to know you made it home safe would have sent you running - you knew what it meant, or at the very least, what it could lead to, and you didn’t want anything ruining what you  and Jake had together, even if it wasn’t supposed to be anything in particular.

The second time, you said it to him, and as you said it, you knew you were doomed. Doomed to be headed down that pathway of boyfriend and girlfriend, only to almost certainly be heartbroken in a few months when he decided that it wasn’t you, it was him, or that he’d met someone else. 

When you said it this time, Jake had been on his way back to the base for a mission last minute. He’d grumbled when his phone went off, interrupting a moment between the two of you, and you knew almost instantly what that meant - he’d be gone for an indefinite amount of time, and you’d see him when you saw him. He could be gone for a week like the last mission, or for months, depending on what it was and how long it would take to complete. It was always classified, and he never really had details until he was already in the middle of it. 

“Call me when you’re home, so I know you’re safe, ok, Jake?” You’d said, your voice low and soft, almost in a whisper as the words escaped your lips.

Jake frowned as he went to respond, almost looking as if he was at a loss for words, which was never like him. Instead, he sighed and nodded his head before heading out the door. A few weeks later, you’d gotten his phone call. 

“Can we talk about something?” he’d said, his normally overly self-confident tone was now quiet, and almost shy, like he was afraid to have this conversation with you. 

“Of course we can. Are you alright?” You’d asked as you absent-mindedly chewed on your bottom lip, anxiously running through all the different possible scenarios that could come from this.

“I’m fine, I promise, just…come over, please?” 

Within 15 minutes, you were on his doorstep, waiting for him to answer. He looked exhausted, his five o’clock shadow was evident, the sign of him not having been home long enough to even shave or shower since he got in. That was your first clue that it was something serious.  Your next clue was when, instead of making a comment about how your ass looked in your jeans or how your shirt would look better on his bedroom floor, he gave you a hug. Jake was never a hugger - by all accounts from his friends and your own observations over the last half a year up to this stage, you’d never seen him hug anyone before, not even once. Usually the best anyone got out of Jake Seresin was a firm handshake and his million dollar grin. But this time, this time you’d gotten a full-fledged bear hug when he saw you - his arms wrapping around you tightly, pulling you in for a passionate embrace, as if he’d gone years without seeing you and finally found you again. 

“Are you sure you’re alright, Jake? You’re…you’re kind of worrying me.” You’d laughed as you raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Right, that.” He’d begun, biting at the inside of his cheek as he mulled over the words he wanted to say, “I…don’t think our agreement is working out between us.”

You felt your cheeks turn hot and red, tears beginning to sting your eyes. Despite the boundaries in place, you fell for him, hard. You’d never tell him, and you didn’t even realize it yourself before now, but as he said that - those words you’d been trying so hard to avoid with him, you knew. You knew he’d reeled you in and there was no escaping it now. You were about to get heartbroken, again.

“Oh?” You kept your response cold and indifferent as you tried to mask your feelings as best as you could.

“Before you get upset with me, hear me out,” he started, holding his hand up to gesture for you to wait for him to collect his thoughts.

“Why, so you can give me the same old “it’s not you, it’s me” speech? So you can tell me how you’ve met someone else?” 

“No,” he said calmly, letting out a deep breath. 

“I don’t think it’s working because I think I’ve fallen in love with you anyways.” He sighed softly, shrugging his broad shoulders as he shot you an apologetic look.

“You...you’re in love with me?” You stammered and stumbled over your words as you spit them out.

“I think so. I couldn’t stop thinking about you the entire time I was gone. I just kept thinking about how nice it’d be to come home and see you again. And despite how it scares the living shit out of me to think that one day I may not be able to come home to you, I also don’t want to spend the rest of our lives not telling you how I feel.” 

Without another word being spoken between you, you wrapped your arms around Jake’s neck gently and pressed your lips to his in a gentle kiss. He placed his hands firmly on your waist, pulling you in towards him, his lips moving in sync with yours. After a moment, he pulled away, his signature grin now back on his face.

“I’m going to take that as a “I love you too, Jake”?”, he smirked as he brushed a piece of your hair back off your forehead. 

“Just shut up and kiss me again, Lieutenant.”

Now, nearly 6 months into officially dating, you found yourselves constantly reminding each other just how in love you were. Jake would send you texts throughout the day when he could, updating you on what was happening wherever he was at the time, and you’d respond with playful teasing. You’d make sure when he came home that his laundry was done for him, because otherwise, he’d never remember to wash it, and he’d signed into his food delivery account on your phone so you could always order whatever you felt like for dinner when he was going to be coming home. You’d cuddle on the couch watching movies together, sharing a bottle of wine as you both took the opportunity to relax and unwind together. And despite all of the domestic life you’d taken on together, you did manage to keep one boundary together.

You’d always call to let the other one know you were safe.

#lt. jake seresin x reader #hangman x reader #lieutenant jake seresin x reader #top gun maverick #top gun imagine #top gun fanfiction #fanfic prompt #top gun fic #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin x you #jake seresin x oc #jake seresin x ofc #jake hangman seresin x you #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin x ofc #jake hangman seresin x oc #jake seresin fic #hangman fic #jake hangman seresin fic #hangman #top gun: maverick fic #top gun maverick fic #jake seresin x f!reader #jake seresin x gn!reader #jake seresin fanfiction #jake hangman seresin imagine #jake seresin fluff #jake hangman seresin fluff

[heartsteellerr]

How they comfort you during a scandal

Request; Hi! I see that you’re requests are open! Can I get a reaction of Heartsteel member’s s/o feeling insecure about dating a celebrity, seeing false dating rumors about the members they are dating and just generally worried about idol scandal stuff because of them? how would the member comfort them about it? A/N ✎: Hi nonnie!! Sorry this request was taking FOREVER for me to do but 🙏 I got some of it done! I decided to split the request into parts for (partly) MY SAKE cos lately i've been busy and I didn't exactly want to prolong it, and also because I didn't want the post to be that long?? So hopefully you're fine with that! Enjoy! Content; Hurt/Comfort, leaning more towards hurt Warnings; GN reader, reader isn't an idol Characters; Ezreal and Kayn

It's honestly on him for not being discreet about your relationship, or 'the' relationship that no one knew about (aside from the other Heartsteel members) until a photo leaked of him with someone. He didn't seem to mind it though, brushing it off as something that'll soon blow over eventually with the media news. But you on the other hand, did in fact mind it ⎯ more than him actually. As you weren't a famous, sensational popstar like he was or had any social status within the media, you were just... Someone standing beside him, and that sort of mindset grew onto you the more you looked into the false dating rumors circulating around him. Seeing the pictures of numerous celebrities that people speculated were in the photo with him and then comparing yourself to them, or the way some fans were picking apart the 'mysterious partner' as someone not worthy of being with their bias, or⎯ but then your phone gets snatched right out of your hand. Taken and tossed aside as he held you in his arms.

Ezreal

He'd be pissed at himself for being so careless and even more pissed at seeing you degrade yourself when he loves you so. No words can properly explain how he feels in that moment, or how he wants to convey that he was a big giant idiot for not taking your feelings into account ⎯ but with the way he held onto you, unmoving and refusing to let go so you wouldn't be able to see his face, it's clear how much he regrets putting you in this position.

In a way, it's almost laughable to him how you'd think of yourself as unworthy of him when that's how he feels when he's with you. Idol or not, you can easily express yourself without a care of the media attacking or slandering you for your comments, or the way you dress comfortably for yourself and no one else, even the littlest details about you were so... loveable to him, that he does find himself to be a bit envious of you sometimes.

How he chooses to handle the scandal will depend on what you also want him to do; ideally he'd want to make it public that he's taken but won't (ever) be revealing his partner's identity for personal reasons (obviously) and would make a serious comment that the public and his fans shouldn't dictate who he dates ⎯ it's for him to decide, and the person he chose is you.

Kayn

He's an idiot. He'll say it out loud and not-so proud for the whole world and even the media to hear because truly, thats who he is. He really didn't see that this whole thing would blow up in his face, especially when he was so in the moment of loving you to even notice the backlash he'll be getting ⎯ which, incidentally, was totally and completely on his part. But could you really fault him for it? Somewhat. BUT in his defence it genuinely felt that way, like being with you for hours when it only felt like minutes for him.

He'd say something like how you made him feel like a normal human being instead of a freak, or an idol put on a pedestal by his fan ⎯ and even though it was good at first, it limits so much things he wants to do. An easy example: Loving you.

Again (like Ezreal) when he makes his statement to the public it also includes what you want him to do with your relationship; he can come out public with it or keep it under wraps, saying everything was false, all while making sure his anger was very present ⎯ because for one, how dare they butt into his business and two, for making you think so lowly of yourself.

#heartsteel x reader #ezreal x reader #kayn x reader

[lets-try-some-writing]

since i know you like your alien worldbuilding and i’m not really sure if you’ve answered an ask related to this yet, at least for tfp, i’d just be really interested in hearing some of your ideas (if you have any) on what cybertronian beauty standards are, and how most of the main cast would be seen in regards to those standards. do they even have an understandable concept of beauty? i mean obviously shiny paint and buffed finishes would probably be the norm, and different branches of the transformers race would definitely value certain traits over others (velocitron comes to mind) but what other features do you think would be cybertronian society’s general ideals?

Heck yeah, worldbuilding time. Lets gooooooo-

━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙

Cybertronian Beauty Standards

There are a few universals when it comes to beauty standards across Cybertron. Namely well done paint, buffed plating, and unbroken armor. However across regions and castes, there are a few preferences that are rather prevalent.

Amidst high castes, the favored form is flamboyancy and keeping up the latest trends. If one wishes to keep up to standard, they will be required to constantly change their frame, usually in irreversible ways in order to ensure they are up to snuff. The trends always change, so it is near impossible to pinpoint what is seen as beautiful at any given moment amongst the high caste, but a few constants are brighter colors, accessories in abundance, and expressive optics. Its all a way to show off authority and wealth.

Middle caste mecha tend to be more reserved, and as a general rule, a more composed and sophisticated look is the most attractive. A firm frame without any serious kibble, hardy and built to last but still with enough unique accessories to stand out. Duller versions of their high caste counterparts paint selections are often the preferred choice, but often brighter colors are still appreciated most. For the middle caste its all about showing off one's ability to take care of themselves while still standing out in a way that is not obnoxious.

Low caste mecha look for survivability in those around them to determine beauty. A sturdy frame with no serious signs of deterioration, an appealing collection of scars to tell of battles won, and bright but often cold colors are preferred. Shining silver and multiple layers of armor are seen as most beautiful due to the story such things tell. A mech who can withstand everything and still manage to buff out their plating is one who is well regarded amongst the low castes.

Across different city states, these standards largely remained the same but were adapted to the preferences of each area. In the case of Iacon and its similarly wealthy sister cities, all mecha regardless of caste were expected to maintain their frame. Bright colors, slim waists with bulky shoulders and chevrons were seen as the most appealing. Thick pedes were also seen as an expression of grace when combined with thin legs and the overall bulk of the upper body. Additional kibble was not seen as particularly appealing and often a more minimalist appearance was most well regarded since it showed a mech could go without any notable modifications. If one had modifications, they were to be hidden if the mech in question wanted to keep up appearances. Any sort of markings to the frame were looked down upon, especially scarring. Clean plating without blemish was always seen as far superior to any sort of marking in wealthy cities. With that in mind, face preference tended to lean more toward those with polished and flat faces with their most interesting feature being their optics.

Less wealthy but more productive cities like Polyhex and Vos had a whole different set of preferences. Extra kibble was seen as appealing with a particular preference toward doorwings and wings in general. To have such a sensitive piece of additional kibble was put on a pedestal as it spoke of increadible self control to not be hitting everything and everyone or responding to stimuli poorly. Visors were held in high regard partially for the protective factor they offered, but largely due to how they obscured the face, a trait that was in high demand due to the various careers seen in the more bustling cities. Identity was everything, so having a frame with a slim midsection but with kibble almost everywhere else was seen as quite beautiful. Markings were tolerated and even seen as appealing to a degree so long as they were either artistically placed, or in the case of scarring, very minimal. The preference for facial structure was not really present as most instead preferred to focus on their visors as their most notable frame addition.

In poorer cities with a higher concentration of low caste mecha, such as Kaon and Helex, preferences differed yet again. Thick armor, heavily armed, and larger frames were seen as superior in every regard. The larger and sturdier a mech was, the better. A degree of curvage was seen as appealing, but largely the beauty was found in armor structure and useful kibble. Mecha in poorer cities resented any sort of ridiculous flamboyancy and much preferred quieter methods of showing off their grace. Polished but scarred armor was a mark of wisdom and prowess. Cooler colors showed an ability to go into battle without regard for faction or affiliation. Open weaponry showed bravery and honor since they quite clearly knew when and when not to fight. Usefulness was the most appealing, along with more aggressive plating structure. Unlike other cities, smooth and simple plating was not the most beautiful and instead most mecha agreed that spikes or at least extra boxy armor was better. With that in mind, sharper faces were also in higher demand.

Excluding cities, beauty standards fell into an interesting gray area that depended entirely on region. In small settlements, everything depending on environment. Those that lived near the sea were fond of the bulkier mecha since they could withstand the storms. They cared for them even more if their colors were various shades or orange and rust. Mecha from the spire forests were far fonder of tall and spindly frames, those with dark colors of the earth capable of rushing between obstacles without regard for the difficulties of a larger body. Those from the open plains and wastes fancied those more capable of speed so that they could get from point A to B without need for days of travel. Everything depended on region when not in the cities.

While there were outliers and small subcultures with different preferences, this is the overview.

#transformers #maccadam #transformers prime #cybertronian worldbuilding #cybertronian cities #cybertronian culture #pre war cybertron #orion pax is a super model by rich city standards and I will die on that hill #megs is the same in kaon #jazz is the pinnacle of gorgeousness in mid ranked cities #obviously ratchet is an angel given form for the small town folk #soundwave fits no where but everywhere all at once

[linktoo]

I got an ask wondering about who is my favourite character in Disco Elysium, which I stand by my answer of being not really one in particular. But, Dora is one character I've been thinking about a lot and I think I want to expand on that.

The story is told through Harry's eyes, and regardless of his in-depth analysis of and narration of his attributes, it's unreliable. Undeniably so. This is part of the story, I really do feel for Harry's inability to move on. I feel for his aching loneliness, and his need to be needed. The crushing feeling of missing someone so achingly bad, only for them to learn that they have actually forgotten a lot about you and moved on is a feeling of deep rejection, devastatingly demoralizing and painful.  "I betrayed her, overwrote her, and happier for it" is a visceral line of feeling the alienation of someone you've lost to time, someone you used to know but has moved on without you. 

But I really can't help but feel so much for Dora's position in all of this. As a woman in a male dominated society your emotions are seen as both weak yet mature, you are constantly objectified down into pieces of meat, and seen as vapid and shallow when you put yourself first. When you choose to finally stand up for yourself, that is long after you've known better, long after you’ve been embittered by your initial innocence and first experience.

“You were my first. My first kiss, my first time to have sex.”

The game continues to emphasize how Harry loved her, how Harry missed her, and yet I get deeply uncomfortable with how her presence is described with her physique rather than her actual self as a person. 

“A dolorian figure, cut in black, moves below. It's still her. Her legs, her breasts, her hips…”

[...]

“‘No, Harry.’ She shakes her head. ‘It's just regular skin. I'm not as beautiful as you always thought I was.”

It’s reductive. It’s dehumanizing. It’s not about her, it’s what she represents. The most perfect goddess of a woman, put on a pedestal and quite literally turned into a deity. Not to be loved romantically, but to be worshipped as a religious figure. Worshipped for the violence and destruction she creates to degrade him and feed into his self loathing, and thus Dora becomes Dolores Dei.

There is a selfish hope and longing that comes with any sort of kindness or pity she give him. She knows that and her words are cautious, she has been through it before, and no longer feels any sort of way about it. She is vulnerable, she did used to care, she is sympathetic to his pain, but she firmly does not anymore and will not allow her empathy be used against her.

YOU - "But… that's not a very good way for things to be." DOLORES DEI - "It's not, but…" She looks at her feet. Little golden sandals cover her toes. YOU - "But what? Tell me there's something good…" DOLORES DEI - "I don't know why I said but. There is no but." YOU - "That's it?" DOLORES DEI - "That's it, yes," she looks up from her toes. "We've talked about it a million times. You will get over it, just like I did. People do. Things will get good for you again…"

I understand that detachment so deeply.

There is a pain to know men you trusted and cared and loved only to be seen as a reductive version of yourself. The one who is “nice”, the one who is “ethereally beautiful” and that’s… about it. You’re not good for each other. It didn’t work out. But by finally deciding it is best to remove yourself from that relationship, you are considered the slut that left him. You are considered the gold digger, the shallow bitch, the uncaring freak of a woman. We didn't really get to know about her and I don't think she was good to him either.

And I just can’t help thinking about that. I’m glad she’s happier now.

#dolores dei #harry du bois #disco elysium #dora ingerlund #linktoo rambles #we live in a society... idk what 2 say...

[kelseytheballerina]

what made you realise you were acting vain and how did you change it?

It wasn’t just me enjoying the fun or relaxation of it anymore, it was a serious pursuit. So take my enjoyment of luxury goods for example. I like buying bags and shoes and stuff bc I think they are pretty and I just like them for what they are. I don’t make an idol of it, I don’t think it makes me better than anyone, and if God showed up and told me to leave it behind I would do it before he even finished the sentence bc I don’t actually place too much importance on it. I can wear a chanel or a random unbranded bag from amazon and it wouldn’t make a difference. But when it came to former beauty practices, I did care. A lot. The thought of not being done up a certain way was no longer simply about self care but caring far too much about how others were perceiving me and how I was looking in relation to others. Always wanting to be the shining star in the room. I was also doing it for personal enjoyment and for beauty’s sake but there were other dubious thoughts bubbling under the surface and they weren’t healthy. It was giving me a false sense of superiority and for what?

It was weird bc I would see other vain girls and feel a distaste for them even though we were exhibiting the same traits. So I was really seeing myself and not liking the reflection, if that makes sense. There’s a difference between confidence and arrogance. There’s a difference between doing something because you like it and feel like doing it vs feeling like you have to even when you don’t authentically feel like it. My views on beauty are very relaxed now and although I very much enjoy my routines and the end result, it is not an idol in my life and I am fully shining in simply doing what I want/like and feeling no pressure of any sort to be as pleasing to the biggest pool of people as I was before.

Being pretty, dressing cute, it doesn’t make me better than anyone else. It doesn’t make me worth more. It doesn’t mean I deserve more or am entitled to demand better. Yes I knew that before but I wasn’t behaving that way 100% of the time. All it means is that I like having curled hair and eyeliner. That’s it.

Whenever I take breaks from the extra outward adornments (just wearing my hair curly, no makeup, etc), I don’t feel any better or worse about myself bc it’s been taken off of a pedestal in my life. 2021 was definitely the height of my vanity and I’m glad I don’t have that same mindset anymore. You can enjoy looking good and taking really good care of yourself without being snooty or insufferable about it and somehow I was really annoying that year lmao! But it’s funny bc I got a lot of followers that year so people loved it but after a while I realized that I wasn’t as proud of my behavior and I didn’t think it was showing upstanding character. At the end of the day, getting 50k notes on a post and gaining a bunch of followers doesn’t mean anything if I’m not proud of who I’m becoming when I put the phone down.

I am a very visual person and I love beauty and will always enjoy partaking in beauty routines, but it doesn’t mean I have to be vain.

#ask

[comicaurora]

hii hello 👋 just wanted to start by saying that the comic is still so cool interesting and I love how things are progressing so far, at first I wasn't sure if i was going to enjoy the current arc as much but its honestly really enganging with the bits of Falst backstory being revealed, seeing Dainix in action and put in situations, and also more interactions of the party members without Kendal really being present there (i love him sm but its interesting to see how the group dynamic is starting to really shape up, even though falst and dainix have only known each other for like a day(?), putting them in a perilous situation is a really good choice we can see open guy and closed off guy interacting and its so !! its cool) also the lighting for the cave with the fire and the ancient tech is great!

(this is already such a long ask im so sorry)

but ... speaking of ancient tech, i wanted to know how much of it has survived? we know that Erin's bag of holding is also Ancient made (iirc), and so is the storm pedestal, but is there still some other known Ancient tech used in the world? are there also significant populations/communities of people with Ancient ancestry that have gathered and do they have most of the access to that tech? If they do exist, are they more of a closed-off community or are they kind of subsumed into the local population (of ppl with no Ancient ancestry and stuff) ?

tl;dr really digging the current arc i love zombie dungeon funtime adventure. more info abt ancient tech / ppl descended from ancients pls?

anyway thank you very much and have a good day ^_^ love your work Red and it's honestly amazing how far the comic has progressed and the community's grown over the past 3-4 years ! (damn i cant believe 2019 was 4 years ago)

glad you're having fun! dropping dorks down a hole for Character Development is always a fun idea

Most Ancient stuff is in ruins, but the automatons are quite sturdy, especially the stuff created in the final days of the civil war. Ancient war machines will sometimes reactivate and un-bury themselves, wreaking havoc based on long-belayed and half-remembered orders. Dainix's desert home deals with these on occasion, which is why he's familiar with the basics of how they work.

Most Ancient tech works in ways that nobody has quite figured out how to replicate, but it can sometimes be repurposed if it's well-preserved enough - although the fact that most Ancient tech reacts with alarms at the presence of humans and elves makes it pretty hard for most people to make them do anything particularly useful. Things like Erin's bag are rare but not unbelievably so - there seem to have been a lot of them, and they're hard to break.

Ancient ancestry has been almost entirely subsumed into the overall population, and it almost never presents in any visible way - just about its only telltale signs are unusual height, and the combo of earthtone-skin and light-earthtone-hair with pale jeweltone-eyes, which is not naturally found in uninfluenced humans or elves and is rarely found even in elementally adapted populations of either (elves can have jeweltone eyes but always have skytone skin, typically patterned; influenced humans like crystal-caste will have jeweltone eyes and hair; etc)

Ancient tech responding positively to anyone is quite rare, and typically occurs in people who seem to have a significant number of Ancient ancestors on both sides of their family and consequently visibly resemble the phenotype to an unusual degree. It's very difficult to measure this sort of thing, but the general rule of thumb seems to be that a person needs to be at least 10% of Ancient descent before the tech doesn't panic on sight, and at least 20% in order for it to actually respond to them in any meaningful way. So the equivalent of one Ancient great-grandparent would work as a bare minimum, which doesn't sound too bad - unless you start doing the math of how many generations have actually passed since there were a surplus of Ancients around.

After the Ancient civil war ended and the "cave-folk" left the Singing Caves, there were barely a thousand Ancients left alive and scattered across the northern continents, in contrast to hundreds of thousands of humans and elves. And since this was over 4000 years ago, with generations happening at a rough average of three per century, there have been over 120 generations since the Emergence. One way to look at this is that every person of the Elder Races currently alive is a descendant of some set of those people alive at the Emergence, 120 generations back - they had kids 119 generations back, those kids had kids 118 generations back, etc etc, eventually leading to a person alive today whose great-great-great-(115-more-greats) grandparents were all around at the Emergence. However, this numbers game gets complicated when we do the basic math of asking "how many (118-greats)-grandparents would anyone have)" and find the answer is 2^120, or a little over 1 undecillion, which is a one with 36 zeroes after it, which is a billion billion billion billions. This many people have never been alive anywhere, because the uncomfortable truth is that after a certain number of generations back everyone's family trees stop forking and start looping, though if it happens far enough back it's not a genetic liability like it is in certain colonizing nations' royal families. So this math is already falling apart, but it is giving us some idea of how catastrophically unlikely it is for someone's Emergence-era ancestry to beat the odds and have enough Ancient make it to the modern day to be detectable.

To dramatically simplify the math and pretend generations are cleanly delineated at 3/century (and that genetics actually works like clean 50%s every time, or even that genetics as we understand it applies to this fictional fantasy world), at the time of the Emergence, the world population was around 0.1% Ancient, and in order for a modern person to make the tech work for them, their first-generation ancestry - the sum of all those Emergence people whose descendants eventually produced this kid, weighted to account for the people who are technically the 118-great-grandparents multiple times over thanks to family tree loops - needed to be at least 10-20% Ancient. It's not impossible, and there were parts of the world where the Ancient population at the Emergence was easily that high, but they're likely to be vastly outnumbered in the rest of the pile of 118-greats-grandparents as the family tree approximately doubles in size every generation.

So it happens, but it's rare and getting rarer. Most people in this field are instead trying to crack how to reprogram or build automaton control units from scratch, rather than dealing with them freaking out all the time.

#asks #aurora

[imfromthemiddlekingdom]

Felony saying that everyone in the universe can access the force if they tried hard enough makes me want to deck him in his fugly face

He’s ruining all established canon in real time. Speed running the absolute destruction of continuity of the SW universe and people are still rooting for him and his blorbo self inserts like there’s no tomorrow. Literally the whole reason I no longer engage in Ashoka content is because he massacred my girl and made her so one dimensional that my Mary Sue self insert fanfics OCs I wrote when I was 14 looks well developed compared to the absolute bland “girlboss kick ass take names” personality Ashoka has right now.

There were so many opportunities for him to explore the absolute potential of angst and conflict within Ashoka in this new series, to give her character a believable story of grief loss and growth yet he threw it all away because he wanted his OC to be the specialist girl that ever lived. This series could’ve been used to explore Ashokas conflicting feelings regarding the Anakin that taught her and was a mentor to her whilst trying to connect it to the monster that killed her family and hunted her culture into almost extinction and tried to kill her, a person he confessed to love as a sister, on Malachor. It could’ve been a good send off to a great character, to have her face that the Skyguy she put on a pedestal in her mind was in actuality the worst sort of scum and have her try to come to terms that just because she can forgive him for being the genocidal maniac he was and still hold love in her heart for who he used to be and also understand why the Jedi, her family, wasn’t the reason for their own downfall.

But alas. We got another series of “the Jedi caused their own downfall!!! Anakin did nothing wrong ever and him killing all my family and everyone I’ve ever known is so not his fault!!! It’s definitely the fault of the unbending stuck in the past council!!!”. Instead of a series that could’ve made Ashoka’s “departure” (literally never going to happen with felony at the helm, he’s going to find a way to make her immortal and then show up 200 years in the future to be the protagonist of another light v dark fight since she’s his special SI) from the series tie in nicely thematically and canonically with every other Star Wars media we have, he decided that the best way to have this series go down is 1) everyone is force sensitive if they tried hard enough ig and 2) the Jedi were bad!!! Their protocols don’t work! They were mean to my little meow meow Anakin Skywalker the greatest Jedi of all times™️ therefore he got to kill them all!!!!

Got a bit off topic but I’m still so mad that he had this chance to make Ashoka truly experience growth like the first 5 seasons of TCW yet he decided maintaining the badass rebel without a cause aesthetics for her was more important then good story telling.

Honestly though, my main problem with this series is that he decided that apparently everyone in the universe can be force sensitive if they “just tried hard enough”. Like your Midichlorian Count no longer matters since even if you were Force-Null you can still be special!!!!

This takes away any and all urgency in the Jedi Fallen Order games. It makes Cals journey absolutely redundant. It throws away all the tragedy contained in having inquisitors being force sensitive kids kidnapped from their parents and tortured till they give into the dark side. If all beings are able to use the force in his universe then there are no consequences to the inquisitors not finding the Holocron that holds the names to all force sensitive children in the universe. There would be no need to them to chase Cal and the Mantis Crew throughout the universe to obtain what they have. They could’ve just went down to any random level in Coruscant and take homeless Force-Null kids and train them.

Even better! It makes the entirety of the KOTOR games redundant!!!! Oh and I guess the hidden path is also redundant since everyone can be force sensitive and no one truly needs more saving from the empire over others :/ totally not like these kids that were saved by the path would’ve been taken and tortured into inquisitors, definitely not since EVERYONE is force sensitive nowadays or is it just the ones Ashoka trains herself because she’s the “living embodiment of the daughter uwu she’s so special and unique look how well she can train a non force sensitive to be force sensitive!!!”

Everyone in the Star Wars universe has Midichlorian’s in their blood. That is a fact. It is also an established fact that the amount each person has is different and is not determined nor dependent on lineage. Force-Nulls typically range in the 1000-3000 count and you need 7000 to be force sensitive and higher to be accepted into the order. (The order isn’t the end all be all of force cultures, Rouge One shows that Jedha’s force culture isn’t restricted to only force sensitives as the Guardian’s were never specified to be only a religious order of force sensitives. And high canon doesn’t depict many other force cultures but we know that there are many force cultures in the universe that co-exist with the Jedi with which the Jedi weren’t in opposition towards; literally not even the witches of Dathomir were oppositions anywhere outside of the battle fields.) You don’t need to be force sensitive to be part of a force culture (Jedha literally has pilgrims who come far and wide to make a pilgrimage to the holy site and not all of them were force sensitive), Sabine could’ve very easily been taught the tenets of the Jedi without retconning her to be force sensitive or making everyone in the universe force sensitive.

No where in either the EU or High Canon did anyone ever say that you have to be force sensitive to be a badass or to make a difference. Hera did not hold the title of the best pilot in the universe just for some rat of a man to come and say that Anakin was the best because *muh force sensitivity!!!!* Some of the most heroic and most influential (good or bad) people in the franchise are Force-Null! And that’s great! It means that the force doesn’t make anyone better than anyone else! It’s a quirk of the universe! To retcon that everyone can and is force sensitive if they tried hard enough is literally cheapening everything the franchise stands for. Andor did not literally give us an entire story about how Force-Nulls in the Galaxy makes just as much of a difference as force sensitives for felony to come out and say that “you know what??? Midichlorian’s are a scam! You get a force sensitivity! You get a force sensitivity! Everyone gets a force sensitivity!!!!”

Sabine was great as she was in rebels, why cheapen it with “oh she’s actually force sensitive all this time!!!” When we could’ve stuck with badass Force-Null Mandalorian can kick your ass five ways to Sunday with her paint bombs and blasters you force wielding asshole!!! Like why even do that felony. Do you want people to hate her??? Nvm ofc you do, you need Ashoka to be the best in every way possible even if it means ruining every other beloved character in this franchise👍

#Star Wars salt #star wars #ashoka series #Ashoka Tano critical #anti anakin skywalker #anti Dave Filoni #fuck you felony I want to punch you in your rat face #Ashoka series critical #the Midichlorian count should mean something felony!!!!! #why are you making Ashoka a Mary sue😭 literally give her a personality that isn’t kickass take names please I beg #sw salt #I hate it here #jedi positive

[stardust-falling]

I feel like fandom ought to remember that artists who are involved in official projects should be allowed to be fans just as much as anyone else.

This has a two-fold implication— first, artists like VA’s and illustrators for official novel releases should be allowed to, when not doing it for work, make whatever sort of headcanons or fanworks they want to regardless of canonical integrity. There’s no reason they shouldn’t be allowed to be an ordinary part of fandom if they want to be, or to enjoy the thing they were involved in, and they shouldn’t be held to some kind of higher standard than other fans— because when they’re off the clock, that’s what they are.

At the same time, fandom needs to understand this and not put these artists on a pedestal— meaning, not taking everything they say as word of god canon. If a VA has a headcanon about their character that isn’t confirmed by the creator, that’s just their headcanon— which is okay! Similarly, if an artist who worked on the official release posts ship art of a non-canon ship on their art account, that doesn’t make it any more canon. It just means that this fan, who happened to be involved in the official project, likes this ship. Even if their character designs are approved for the official work, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re canon-accurate (unless you’re using a tiered canon).

Anyway, let artists be people and enjoy things without holding them to a higher standard than the rest of the fandom. I love it when fans get to work on official projects. I think that’s super great! But let them also be fans.

#fandom #fandom culture #adaptations #this isn’t about any one thing in particular I just think it’s something #fandom ought to keep in mind

[hpowellsmith]

Do you think a degree is a good place to start to get into the narrative designer scene? I don't have any sort of degrees and whenever I look at job postings it kind of intimidates me.

You don't necessarily need a game design degree. There isn't a single route into getting a narrative design job and most of the narrative people I've worked with have academic experience in other areas. Classics, publishing, linguistics, screenwriting (and other kinds of writing), film, literature, teaching, computer science, biomedical science, history, and philosophy are all things that come to mind off the top of my head. I personally have an English Literature bachelor's degree and a postgrad teaching certificate.

I do know a few narrative people with game design degrees and they speak highly of that experience - but it isn't essential and there's some ambivalence in the field of games about how much value you get from it. It would really depend on where you were attending and who was teaching it, and so on. Do research the lecturers and their industry experience before signing up to anything!

A lot of narrative jobs will require some sort of degree. Not all! But many will explicitly. Then, more trickily, there's the implicitness of it all: it's rare that I've encountered a narrative person at a studio who doesn't have a degree, and among many other things that's a marker of the lack of class diversity in the field.

That said: a degree is unlikely to directly help you get a narrative job unless it's very specific (eg you're an expert in the Franklin expedition, and the game is about trying to rescue the ships). It will more give you transferable skills. My PGCE helped me learn to deliver presentations and pitches. My English degree helped me discuss art. My PGCE taught me about being rigorous about developing skills and assessing where I'm at and taking feedback. My English degree pushed me to read widely. But none of that fed directly into getting a job in games - when I graduated from my undergrad degree I didn't know how games jobs worked anyway and neither did my career advisors.

Whether or not you have a degree, you need to have examples of your skills and how you've applied them to your work. If you've had jobs in other areas, you can refer to that - you're great at spotting data entry errors? fantastic. you can meditate an argument between a group of crying five year olds? great. And most of all you need completed examples of your writing and your games work for your portfolio. It doesn't have to be massive ambitious projects, but you need to prove that you know how games fit together, what makes them feel good or not good to play, and can apply it to your own work.

Make interactive fiction. Make a small game, or a bigger game, in bitsy. Join a game jam and work with other people on something - that will give you something to talk about in interviews, and teach you about working with other people on a creative project. Finish things! Not only will that give you more to discuss, it will also mean that you have a better sense of the bigger picture of interactive storytelling. I got my first studio job off the back of years of short hobby IF and a completed CoG game; I brought skills from my studies but I wouldn't have got a foot in the door without those projects to show that I could write well, understood narrative design, and could finish games.

Some unsolicited advice:

Be cautious about expensive game writing courses. They can be valuable for networking and pushing your to be rigorous about your work, or they can be a money sink. Remember that in 99% of "dream studios" there will be people working there for whom it's a nightmare. Don't put people on pedestals and remember that studio games are a team effort - but also respect and celebrate your own contributions. Don't dunk on games in public: I've seen a lot of people do that and then turn around and ask for a job from the people they were dunking on. It doesn't make people inclined to say yes. Don't neglect your peers in favour of trying to get in with a crowd that's already established; but if trusted people offer mentorship (such as Limit Break in the UK) go for it. When you are one of those established people, don't pull up the ladder behind you.

Here is a doc of resources from Raymond Vermeulen and another from Adanna aka AFNarratives. Also there are a ton of free talks available from AdventureX, Narrascope, Writer's Guild of Great Britain, and the GDC Vault about narrative which are both interesting and useful.

None of this is any guarantee of anything, there are a lot of people competing for not many jobs and if you find someone selling One Weird Trick to get into the field of narrative design, avoid them. I've seen talented people with a lot of experience struggling to find another contract after one has ended. So I don't want to act like I have it all figured out - but I hope it's helpful.

#indie games #game writing #narrative design #game industry