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#with like uncleanliness
dragonicstyle · 1 month
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well damn there's already big improvements🧍
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neversetyoufree · 11 months
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I've been using my down time at work to do a lot of reading lately, and a big part of that has been making my way through the works that VnC references, just for the fun of it.
I was going to start The Song of Roland a few days ago, but when I first looked at it, I just did not have the patience to deal with the sheer ~righteousness~ and pomp of a story about a bunch of eleventh century catholic knights.
HOWEVER, after making my way through a solid 80 pages of de Sade, I have to admit, those righteous catholic knights ended up looking pretty god damn appealing.
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weaselishmcdiesel · 1 year
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So sorry you got Covid during finals. Hope everything goes okay!
And your dad sounds like mr clean-
thank you :,( i really hope my professors will be understanding. i think it's really hard to get a lot of communication at my school so i'm going to have to be on top of it myself T__T
mr clean is a lot more kind than my dad :(
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why the fuck didn't we just get an adult cat. a fucking litter-box trained animal. but noo, we had to have the cute little feral fucking kitten, who is now pissing in my fucking bed
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1eos · 2 years
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am i the only one who gets white supremacist vibes from all the law routes in smt games.....
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mikurulucky · 2 months
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It's all fun and games until you enter Tochiro's apartment and realize he's got his shit together about as much as some other folks do in the cleanliness department. Aka, not really.
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Like, canonically, at least in Cosmo Warrior Zero (not sure about other timelines except MAYBE GE999 considering he lived in the abandoned Deathshadow up until his death there, and there ain't no running water there, I can tell ya that), his living conditions and hygiene is about on par with his ancestor/cousin, Nobotta Oyama. And just about anyone in Japan who's familiar with Otoko Oidon knows just how bad Nobotta's living condition is. Oh, and neither of them bathe too often.
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Could be argued his SSX iteration was probably forced to bathe at least somewhat more often once the Arcadia made its first flight. I mean, his clothing's in much better condition after all, it's clear that he got new clothes alongside Harlock. Same with Arcadia of My Youth, he was in the army ffs, we see him wearing the same uniform Harlock's wearing and it ain't that worn down compared to the cloak and hat that he's had for years.
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whatsthetime-mrwolf · 5 months
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I am so torn because on the one hand I really want a tattoo
BUT
On the other I have not yet been to Japan and I hear they're real fussy about tattoos not being allowed into a lot of the cool hot springs so like what the fuck man
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ask-azrin · 9 months
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i have returned from my slumber to give you
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this
(reference under the cut)
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tomicscomics · 4 months
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12/29/2023
Fun Fact: LET ME HOLD THE BABYYYYY!!!
JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. Jewish laws have a lot of stuff about impurities and uncleanliness.  After giving birth, for example, a mother becomes impure for a time (forty days after having a boy, or eighty for a girl).  During this time, the mother can't enter temples (dwelling places of God) or touch anything sacred. 2. In this cartoon, Joseph reads about the above impurity laws from a brochure.  At first, it seems like he's just informing his beloved wife of their religious duties, but in fact, he's only using it to build up an argument of why HE should be the one holding the new Baby Jesus.  After all, if Mary is legally impure, doesn't that mean she can't hold Jesus, since He's sacred?  Of course, by that logic, the manger could be considered a temple, since it's the current dwelling place of God-made-Man, but Joseph wisely avoids arguing this point.
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halcyone-of-the-sea · 5 months
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To Hunt a Silver Stag (I)
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AU MASTERLIST || PART II
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PAIRING: Knight!Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick x F!Fae Princess!Reader
WORDCOUNT: 6.9k
WARNINGS: Arranged marriage, talks of childbirth, traditional views of women & men in medieval times, talks of war, death, heavy religious imagery/symbolism, etc.
*I do not give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform*
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You wore a crown of deer antlers atop your head. Charms were woven into the gaps between the tines, attached to golden thread; jewels of starlight strung like teardrops from the moon. Your feet, staying still on the hard stone of the Great Hall, are bare though attract no dirt or dust—it is as if the very ethereal aura that coats your gown of pure white repels any such thought of uncleanliness or corruption of this mortal plane. 
You are so very far from home.
Standing in the center of your soon-to-be husband’s court, your eyes seem not to be on the man himself, who watches you greedily from the throne of black iron, but instead behind him. Blank of any emotion, your long lashes blink in the direction of the stained glass windows with a horrible longing. Whispers from the multitude of court attendants go in one ear and out the other—useless to you. Their time would be gone in a blink, and yet here you would remain, immemorial. Their words were nothing, and their utterances would turn to dust faster than their bodies would.
You can’t help but wonder if those colorful depictions in that glass window, of God and his valiant angels, are mocking you as you blink at them slowly. Not only for what you are and where you now find yourself in the kingdom of your enemies but for being so full of the very qualities that would normally resign a woman of this age to the stake. 
Independent, confident, and curious, among others. 
A voice raises above the rest, and your eyes blink elegantly, the silver hue to them unnatural in all senses. Yet, you do not look away from the mighty white stag, its soldered bits of thin glass a patchwork of an overwatching Lord. Saint Eustace is there, staring at it, just as was told from generation to generation.
A pagan man converted to Christianity, the symbol of a cross set between antlers very much like the ones adorning your head. Humming under your breath, your eyes dip down, chin moving. Below the window, there stands a tall knight, and your gaze locks with his softly. 
“Today,” the King’s voice echoes over the crowd as brown orbs stare at you, blinking. “We are here to celebrate the joining of two great bloodlines!” He stands with a grand cape over his shoulders, falling to the floor as his boots stand at the top of the stairs to the throne. Yet, this knight holds your attention more than your Promised does as the cheering starts, loud; making your ears twitch.
At your waist, a golden belt is engraved with expert attention, stories woven into metal that even seem to move with the magic embedded into it. It seems to hum with an energy that makes your eyes narrow in confusion upon this stranger.
He had brown eyes, the knight, and the hues reminded you of brown that you could see in the trees of your home—those old beasts that grew still with the magic of your line and your gentle touch. Surrounding him, there was silver armor and a strip of red fabric that went over one shoulder, hanging beside the items of his station; a sword and a dagger on a brown leather belt.
Brows furrowing, your head tilts slowly, unblinking, as the eye contact persists. 
A bold man, it seems.
The knight’s eyelids slightly widen, as if realizing he had been staring, and his face swiftly moves to the side, his short hair close to his oval skull. You hear the faint clearing of a throat come into the shell of your pointed ears.
Sighing, your focus returns to the matter at hand, the crown’s adornments clinking together as your head rotates. The speech. 
King Michael spreads his hands out, a man far into his older years but still had the gleam of malice in his eyes. Those beady things. They remind you of a rat—a small creature, while intelligent, that cannot win unless through tricks.
“We all know that magic has slowly been disappearing from the lands,” the King utters, voice echoing off the walls. Your hands are holding themselves near your abdomen, grace embedded into your bones. Watching how he speaks, you can’t deny he was influential. But influence didn’t matter when you had no wife—no children. He has a dying line, and that means weakness…which is why you’re here, after all. “And in that time, our war with the Fae has fallen into a stalemate.”
Your expression sharpens, fingers twitching. Stalemate? There were humans in your lands—spreading their fires and swinging their defiling iron swords. There was no war here except the one that this King was perpetuating. 
But you held your tongue, even if your silver eyes narrowed in an ancient, bitter, anger. Your head raises itself higher, hanging gemstones swinging. The knight near the stained glass is back to watching you—his feet shifting from under him, hands behind his armored back with loose shoulders.
“...Today, myself and the King of the Fae have come to an agreement in confidence, and in the fashion of old, I am to be wed to his daughter, a princess!” Gasps, cheers, clapping. They spring up from all corners of the Hall, bouncing. Your body longs for nature, to be away from rock and metal, these suffocating walls that close in with the gaggle of wretched corpses walking. “Peace shall be beholden to all of us! Magic shall come back into my bloodline through our many children, and all will share in its wealth!” 
You had compared yourself to a broodmare when your father had given the news of your journey here. A womb to be filled until you could give no more; restrained to a bed—away from any privilege and right.
And you’d been sent here anyway. A price needed to be paid, your father had told you. A daughter to stop the war. A child to bring back mortal magic and keep the peace through generations. Was your head to be put to the block for that? Who was to say that children would bring peace? That there weren’t more conflicts to come?
This was a momentary sacrifice, and here you were wearing white.
You hum under your breath and feel shackles tie themselves to your ankles; tying you to this place. But what other option did you have?
Your ears listen to the loud rapturous cheering, the exclamations of love that mean nothing to you—you do not love these people, do not love their need for violence and their pride. You want to go home, to find where you can rest among glades and grass. Converse with the birds and the beasts to learn of their news of far-off lands; run your hands through clear streams and watch plants grow where you walk.
As your stone body stays still, silver eyes unblinking, the knight near the window is the only man in the room not gazing at you like he wants something from you. While Lords have their eyes filled with lustful envy of your age-less skin—your finery and wealth; the promise of strong children, the knight is the only one with an open expression. 
He only watches, handsome face holding the whispers of stubble and eyes that would make many moral women wish to be his wife. 
Admittingly, your attention keeps going back to him, just as his own is stuck on you even as he tries to look professional. Back straight, armor glinting, sword pommel fiddled with by long fingers. 
The King is walking down the stairs, one withered leg at a time. You don’t offer any help.
“My bride,” Michael licks his lips when he’s in front of you; but he’s more fixated on your stomach than all else. What it will hold for him. “My beautiful Fae bride. My wedding will be known through history for ages to come.”
My. 
The world holds its breath. The knight’s jaw clenches, though no one sees it. 
You take a heavy breath into your lungs to hold back your snapping tongue. As the words meet the air, they come out as unemotional as a wave at sea. Wind holding mist.
“Certainly.”
As it turned out, the castle itself was even less homely than the material that was used to build it. You walk slowly through the halls, hands behind your back and your crown glimmering—the trail of a thin and flowing gown making you look like a specter. One crudely carved window after another passes by your right shoulder, and you look out of every slit; seeing the silver shades of moonlight. In contrast, everything on your left was washed with firelight from the blazing iron sconces, your ears twitching to the pop of wood and fabric saturated in animal fat. 
Everything here was horrible.
A prison, you think, slowing near one of the larger windows in the hall. A cage.  
Staring outside, trying for only a moment to understand the disgusting castle and adjoined town you look at, there’s a faint noise from far down the corridor. 
Wasting no time, your head moves slowly to the side, blinking. There isn’t anyone to be seen, but yet again, your slightly pointed ears twitch. 
A firm heartbeat. 
Bump-bump, bump-bump, bump-bump.
Staring at nothing, you listen for a moment, taking it in as your visage fights with blue and red light, shadows littering the small cracks and the marks of stone—your hands slightly tighten, but you hold no fear. 
You refused to be afraid here; you would go to your spiritual death with a high head, and nothing less. 
“It’s unbecoming to stalk as if a wolf,” you call, voice smooth and even. A beat of bird’s wings. “Four-legged beasts have perfected it, yet, the same cannot be said of you.” 
There’s a lapse of silence—a swirling of slight tension that comes not from you but another. The heartbeat in your ear lightly skips. Startled. A shadow cusps one of the connected hallways, a gleam of silver armor. You blink slowly.
“Apologies, Ma’am.” The Knight. The one from the Great Hall. “I…didn’t mean to make you nervous.”
His lithe form doesn’t try to hide from your accusation, instead, his body moves to the middle of the stone floor and straightens—one hand going to his heart and the other behind his back; bowing. The darkness of his complexion seems to glow in the light, smooth skin besides the marring of small scars along the left cheek. Tiny things, only two lines.
For no reason at all, your body lightly turns towards him, watching.
“I’m not nervous,” you respond. “Please, stand straight.” 
He does so without hesitation, though his eyes are avoiding yours. A guilty pull is to his lips that you can’t help but quirk a brow at. Yet, you remain emotionless, and outside the shadows of flying birds shift past.
“What is your name, Knight?” You see his expression slightly tense at the question, but you continue easily. A test, perhaps, if this man was worth your time. “I recall your face.” 
“I can’t give you that, My Lady.” Brown eyes go to meet yours, and the silver flecks in your orbs glimmer. “My orders were clear.”
“And were those orders also to follow me?” 
He clears his throat, feet shifting. “...Maybe.”
You hum, moving your body slowly and walking forward to him. The man blinks in surprise, straightening even more but a firm set to his eyes. His attention never wavers, unless it’s to glimpse your crown and belt, perfect pieces of artistry lost to this section of humanity. No mortal craftsman could imagine making something as such. He liked them, you notice at the light impression of awe in his gaze.
Anyone with sense would.
Stopping just a few feet away, you tilt your head. 
It was common knowledge that you never gave your name to one of the Fae, your betrothed would have told everyone close to him to avoid doing so. Just as you would never tell your real name to anyone—not even under dire circumstances. Names hold power, and no person in this castle would make you even more of a prisoner than you already were. 
You know the names of beasts and plants, flora and fauna—they bend to you, let you manipulate them to your will, though you often find no need to. The animals from any land prefer your company, anyway. The castle’s hunting hounds have already become well acquainted, just as the messenger birds had. 
But mortals? No. No, there were no names that you knew besides the King himself, and even then it was a fake one. Second names and such, are common. 
“Your title, then,” you say to the Knight. “If you’re to be a constant face to me.”
“Gaz is just fine, I’d say.” He nods his head, a slow smile moving his cheeks. Your brows furrow. Strange fellow. “A pleasure. I really do need to say that I wasn’t following you for long—I was only concerned you might have lost your way.”
You stare. 
“Lost?” Owlishly, your head shifts.
Gaz makes a noise in the back of his throat, one hand coming up to rub at the base of his neck. “Yeah—lost. It’s, uh, it’s a big castle, My Lady—”
“Stag.” Wide eyes blink, this meeting is only awkward on his part and not yours. In fact, for how humans go, he was acting far better than most. Usually, there was iron being brandished by now.
“What was that?”
“My title,” you explain, your crown’s gems bright in the light. The fire crackles, popping. “Stag. I do not need my status stated. I know what I am, Knight.”
“Then I’d say the same,” your fingers twitch, liking the word game he plays. Inside of your sockets, the unnatural makeup of your eyes shimmers. 
“Very well,” you pause, picking your words. “Gaz. A strange choice to be sure.”
He chuckles, nodding in a very stoic-like way despite the nearly boyish nature of him. “Well, Stag isn’t exactly common, either.”
You hum in your throat, unblinking; staring. Your intrigue grows the longer the man talks. Just like in the Great Hall, his form attracts all of your attention to it, against all laws that you seem to know in your soul. 
“Pray tell,” you shift, moving back to the window with your feet not making a single sound. Gaz watches on, eyes flickering between the hanging gems and how you tread over the stone as if you had wings. Your form slips back to the window, and your focus once more goes outward. “Has the King told you to spy on me, Gaz?”
The title, even if not the one of his birth—not the one written on his soul like a brand—still made the air quiver with might. You were older than most of this kingdom, the Knight knew. Older than the oak trees of the nearby forest; older than rock and wind and air.
Power dripped off your tongue like water to a leaf. 
But it wasn’t your influence that made the man answer you. It was his own nature. 
“Yes,” Gaz says, taking a few steps to where you stand, watching a flock of birds dance above the courtyard, silver moon-drips illuminating white feathers. “But I wouldn’t call it spying. Officially, I’ve been put in place to keep you safe, Princess.” His dark brows crease when you don’t pay him any mind. “I take my job very seriously, yeah?” 
“I can see that,” you utter, eyes still on the birds. “The only thing I need protecting from is the iron ring on your right hand.”
He startles, blinking for a moment. 
“...Parden?”
Silver eyes pierce him, watching; waiting. 
Gaz looks down, locking on the hand that has been resting on the pommel of his sword. Cape swishing, he makes a noise in the back of his throat. His sigil ring—the one that had been given over at his dubbing ceremony sat on the first digit, the engraving of his King’s coat of arms glimmering back. 
A wolf; a snake caught in its fangs. 
Brown eyes dart back, and he sheepishly smiles, huffing a chuckle of sorts. 
“Comes with the job, unfortunately,” yet still, his other hand easily grasps and slips the thing off, tucking it away into the leather pouch swinging from his belt. “I thought that was a myth—the Fae being harmed by iron. Conjured up to give people something to cling to.”
“I can name a million things that men and women like you consider myth,” you mutter, starting at that pouch, deep in thought. You hadn’t expected him to give in that easily. Your shoulders loosen their rigidness, but your chin never drops its high pride. “Every story comes from somewhere—be it reality or wives’ tales. Who’s to say that the words don’t give them life in one form or another?” 
“Bloody hell. Not a discussion to take up with me, I’m afraid,” Gaz huffs a chuckle, smirking. While still hesitant around you, the conversation wasn’t anything that made him want to not be around you. Everyone deserved to have their character shown, and what he was seeing so far wasn’t ringing any alarms. “Sound more of a scholar than a Princess, if you don’t mind me saying.”
Your lips quirk. “I prefer philosopher.”
“And what’s a Fae philosopher doing out in the middle of the night, then?” A breeze wafts through the window, blowing on your dress and making Gaz’s cape flutter in its bloodish tint. The torches whip and dance. You take a low breath, bird chips coming closer. 
“Speaking with an old friend.”
A white dove lands on the stone opening of the window, fluttering wings coming to fold along its sleek form until it shakes and settles all at once. 
“Lysander,” you say in greeting, nodding your head. Gaz watches, barely moving as his lips part in astonishment. 
Your hand extends itself, bearing no rings or bracelets. All you needed was your crown. Tiny eyes blink as an angular head turns to the side, tiny coos sparking from a rounded breast. Pale feet grasp your perfect flesh, such a tiny weight settles before you lift effortlessly; wings flapping to keep balance. 
“What news, then?” You ask in a whisper, bringing the beast to your crown. Lysander settles on one of the tines, head dipping down as feathers puff. Into your ear, words take shape. 
You hum in answer, blinking at every clicked sentence; tapping talons. 
Gaz stares blankly, eyebrows pulled up on his head and unable to articulate himself.
So many stories about your people—he hadn’t thought half of them to be true. While he’d been stationed in many places during the duration of this war, he’d never actually encountered one of the Fae before. Gaz had been told they were like a plague; they came in when you weren’t looking, spoke magic into your ears, and forced you to come back to their home and live as mindless beasts. Cupbearers and entertainment. 
Of the countless knights he’d been in line with, he knew the true names of none of them. A precaution. Forethought. 
Yet…you don’t look dangerous. 
But the man is far from stupid. 
“He says the fires from your forges burn his eyes,” your voice snaps him back to you, and he straightens, fingers twitching. Gaz finds your face already turned his way, owlish in its movements. “The smoke makes his throat ache.”
“I,” he pauses, mouth opening and closing. Brown eyes dart to the sharp-beaked dove; the thing very much like you in the way it watches him. “I’m…sorry?”
Your lips pull in a frown, sighing with a shake of your head. 
I can never survive here, you find yourself thinking. I believed this is what I had to do, but if this is how I’m going to live…
“Tell me about your King, Gaz,” your body swiftly turns, feet carrying you down the corridor once more with long, even, steps. “If I’m to marry him, I will know of his nature.”
The man clears his throat and follows after, where you hear the clinking of silver and the scabbard against his thigh. He glances over at you, walking if not a bit behind yourself in proper fashion. 
“What do you want to know, Ma’am?”
Your unnatural orbs shimmer, and the bird on your crown hunkers down; puffed contently and eager to rest his wings from a long flight. 
“Everything. I will not be unaware of my fate.” 
“Well,” Gaz sighs, rubbing at his chin with his opposite hand. He licks his lips, mind running to answer the best he can. “You’ll not want for anything—finery and wealth will—”
“I do not care about mortal revelry. I need neither fine things nor wealth.” Your voice curtly moves along the open air. The Knight’s boots connect with stone while your bare flesh emits nothing. “His character, Knight. Is he fair—just?”
Gaz’s face tightens, glancing from you to the hallway as he takes a moment to think.
“My King has…become troubled with the turning tides of the war. I’m sure when your marriage is official, he’ll go back to how he was before.” He doesn’t seem certain, but loyalty is a trait that a knight knows well. You had been set as his charge, of course, not under the best of circumstances, but he would do his job how he believed would benefit all parties. Even if his guts were stiff at the thought of a forced marriage. 
“My Lady Stag?” He asks, and your heart jerks unexpectedly at the muttering of your title. 
Blinking in confusion, your hand coming up to rub at your collarbone like a willow branch, you almost miss the question entirely. 
“Where you come from, if I can ask, of course, what’s it like?” Your mind strays from marriage ceremonies and consummation—momentary peace slipping in on waves of this man’s smooth accent. 
Mouth opening, only to close once and open again, you decide to indulge this man with your answer. If only because he speaks of your home. 
“Green,” is the soft utterance of your answer to him. “It’s green. More trees and rivers than you can count in your lifetime. Animals each more fantastical than the last; all of which your people now call nothing but hearsay.” 
You can sense his attention, sucking up knowledge as if he had the years to know and understand it all. 
Lysander coos, shaking his feathers out, and you glance upward without moving your head. You chuckle like a blade of moving grass. 
Blinking, Gaz slowly begins to smile, cocking his skull to the side boyishly. “What’s so funny, then?”
Your high nose twitches. 
“He says you’re as if a Wyvern hatching. A curious thing.” Brown eyes drift to your companion, whose peaked eye pierces like black fire-stone. Gaz’s mouth releases a puff of a chuckle, chest jerking. 
“Hell, never thought I’d get insulted by a bird.” 
“Humans have not the ability to speak with beasts,” you ease out, walking on. “On that, I have to say you are at a sure disadvantage.”
“What?” Gaz’s amused voice is in your ear. “Minus the whole immortality thing?”
You side-eye him, visage calm with decades of understanding. “Not everything is built to last forever.”
A momentary silence falls between the two of you. Eyes locked, you both stare, legs carrying bodies across the unfeeling stone until the area Lysander had told you about takes form. You shift a slow right and exit into the inner courtyard, large stone walls making a small square of patchy green grass and dying plants. A fountain sits still. 
“If this is to be a game of equal exchange, Knight, I desire to ask the next question.” Your eyes take it all in, hand moving out to capture the blackened leaves of a Medlar tree. Frowning at the dead fauna, you hear Lysander take to wing, flapping until his ghostly form lands on the far-off fountain’s edge. 
“Alright,” Gaz nods, looking around at the dying place with a frown as well. He’d never come here before, but the state of things was…sad, really. “Ask away.”
“When you leave the castle—the town,” you let power move to your fingertips, and you feel the tingles of it running the lengths of your arms like ice and fire; taking a low breath. “What do you see? I admit, I’m not used to having company with humans. I know not how their souls feel.”
Gaz walks into the small enclosed space, humming as he taps the pommel of his sword. His shoulders shrug as his head tilts up, blinking at the stars. 
“I wouldn’t see it as you would, I gather.”
You look over your shoulder, amusement in your face mixed with a slice of intrigue. “That wasn’t my question. But, no, you would not.” 
“Figured,” he chuckles, nodding at you. Gaz articulates himself dutifully. “I see a place far more peaceful than the one here. Outside the stone and smog—it’s beautiful, truly. Calm. You can actually think above the noise, you know? I usually find myself wanting to get out more often, but my duty ties me here.” 
Your eyes soften slightly, thumb running the face of the leaf as you take in his words. Lysander stoops to take a sip of water. 
“You’re…” You lack the words, only humming and stopping yourself. 
“Why are we here, Princess?” Gaz asks you, gazing around. “I had only expected you to walk to the kitchens—the library, even. Don’t get me wrong, you can go as you wish, but I’m not sure this is the most…” He grunts. “Sightly place to end up. Everything’s dead.”
“Nearly,” you whisper, a tiny smile taking over your flesh. “Not quite.” 
Gaz’s frown is lost to you, as is his comment that he mutters, “Looks it.”
Leaning forward, you press your lips to the leaf you hold as if a precious object. Into its blackened and shriveled form, you whisper its name—its true name, one you had learned through years of patience and trust that bordered on an entirely trance-like state. A Medlar is a tough and stubborn thing, like the fruit it bears, it will hang on until all else is gone to dust. Its roots are strong, and from them, you had listened to the earth sing its songs one buzzing note at a time.
All things speak, you just have to know how to listen. 
There’s a surge of wild order, a dichotomy of will and freedom; the sing of an axe and the memories of young saplings just gracing their leaves to the sun. A circle of death and rebirth as old as the stars that still shone in a sky of black. 
You know many names, but those of the trees were the first to come to you, and it was only proper. Before anything, there were trees. 
The Medlar shakes, its leaves dropping down one at a time until they come in groups, in clusters—bare branches shiver like dogs do until creaking ballads move over the air. 
Starling, Gaz had taken a large step back, hand snapping to the handle of his sword, the blade half drawn. Lysander flies past his face, blunt talons skating the close-cropping of his hair before the bird grapples to your crown. Flinching, the knight watched with a mixture of horror and pure wonder.
The tree was sprouting new greens. 
You step back, and from your feet, the dead grass quivers, before the smell of groaning earth makes his nose twitch; fresh blades show themselves anew. The dove atop your crown jumps from one sharp tine to the next, dodging lines of gold—eyes glinting and wings flapping excitedly. 
Life is in the very air. 
You smile to yourself, silver eyes moving as a nearly ancient-looking spark flares to life in them—a long breath entering your lungs. 
Gaz’s face begins to heat as he watches, his heart pounding with something he can’t understand. He stares at your bright face before his fast-blinking eyes move to the grass growing all around; the bushes dancing, flowers opening up and turning to you. Birds gather on the edges of this verdant and fertile land, darting one by one to the fountain and to the trees. Singing.  
The knight steps back, feet dancing over the ground with an airy laugh stuck in his throat. 
“Holy hell…” he breathes, nearly panting. 
Wide eyes move back to you, expression open, innocent. This was a moment when you truly believed you’d never seen a face more bare than this; more giving. 
“You…” He laughs. “You’re tellin’ me you could always do that?” You chuckle, and it is a sound that could make roots grow in his heart, flowers bursting from his lungs. “I…I’m speechless, really. This is,” he laughs once more, turning a full circle, with his hand going to the back of his neck in shock. It was entirely new—all of it. Ivy climbed the stone, and the animals spoke and flew in the air; excitement something that transcends species. “This is extraordinary.”
You were something incredible. 
Chuckling, you raise a slow brow, feeling a foreign heat move over your cheeks. It’s a moment before you speak, taken aback by the reverency.
“My thanks, Knight,” your head nods his way, a simple dip of your chin and nothing more. “But this is only a small courtyard. A fraction. If I so wished, forests could grow from ashen ground.”
“How?” He asks you, eyes glittering more than the moon. 
Smaller birds join Lysander on your head, finches, perhaps, and sparrows. They tweet and chip, speaking their thanks. You reach up and let one move onto your finger, bringing it back to eye level as you move to softly connect your forehead to its own. Moving back, you hum and watch the bird fly off.
“Ages of practice,” you elegantly tip your head his way, careful of your cargo. “Quite verbatim.” 
Gaz is speechless, unable to recall something in his life that had made him feel so special to be able to witness it. Magic to humans was a dying thing—you’d be surprised if he’d ever even seen it in this magnitude before. 
“...Amazing,” he utters under his breath, smiling like a fool.
For all of your Fae trickery, your games, you had to be honest. “I don’t believe I thought you’d be this moved by it.”
“Really?” He blinks at you, a boyish twist to his face. “How could I bloody not be, Love?”
Your air gets stuck in your throat, eyes minutely widening. 
Gaz quickly comes back to himself, straightening and clearing his throat as your face suddenly blazes in a way that startles you. Heart pattering like a horse’s hooves not only at the…different title but his awe at your magic as well. 
“Forgive me, My Lady,” you choose not to correct him. “I overstepped.”
His body bends forward in a deep bow, hand to his heart, resting over his armor as the cape drapes its crimson fabric to the now vibrant grass. 
It had briefly eluded you that you were to be married soon. A comment like that could get the Knight and his tree-bark brown eyes put to the sword. You hold back a long sigh, eyelids fluttering shut softly. 
“Is he kind?” Your question is small, but it moves like a knife.
Gaz stares hard at the ground, once dead and nothing but a reminder of nature. He clenches his jaw, a worry swirling in his gut. The man knows who you’re asking about, and he holds the same dread he did in the Great Hall as you were led like a sacrificial lamb to the altar. 
Maybe the Knight was broken, but even if he’d never met one of your kind before, he knew that no person deserved to be bartered for the illusion of peace—forced to give children like they were only objects. But maybe he was also just a man not meant for this lifetime.
It was the way of things.
Gaz swallows the tension in his shoulders. He will not lie. 
“...No.”
This tall knight had become a constant at your side. Officially, he’d been placed for your protection, but you knew it was because the King didn’t want you to cut and run. 
But unless there was a very good reason to, he should have known that you were not the running type. It was a battle of wits, and even into your marriage, you would always come out on top.
It started easy enough—Michael would invite you for tours of the castle ‘making it a home’ he’d said in front of his court. It was a power trip. 
He’d talk about his wealth like it would make you swoon; like you cared at all. You could only hide your sneer for so many hours, even with your infinite amount of patience. Time had mellowed you like the rocks of the ocean, but even they cracked when the storm was strong enough. 
Yet still, you considered yourself too intelligent for baseline insults.
“My palace was much the same, your Highness. Our towers rose high—nearly gracing the clouds themselves.”
“Oh, lovely, my King. Pray tell, do you also have pet dragons? Oh…unicorns, perhaps? My, I had the most lovely unicorn companion when I was just shy of my two-hundredth birth year. A little thing—all legs and neck. Beautiful creatures.” 
“Gorgeous little trinkets. Tell me, do you have a coffer for fallen stars? They create the most magnificent illumination for late-night reading.”
Gaz nearly lost his composure at times, even if no one else could tell except for you and your pointed ears; twitching at every breath that was fought to keep still. The over-the-lip huffs and chuckles. In fact, you found yourself perpetuating the back-handed insults just to hear those noises. Such small and meaningless things, in the grand scheme. 
You took…enjoyment from it.
Seeing the effect it had on the King was also a bonus—his raging eyes, snapping tongue held back for only his reputation and little more. He wanted to take you by the arm and shake you, you knew, yell in your face. 
Kind, King Michael was not. Gaz had been correct. 
In the nights, you would discuss with the Knight—sitting in the dense and growing courtyard with your body comfortable on the grass; Gaz’s on the fountain’s edge.
You have much of the same confidence in one another as you do tonight. 
“Do knights marry for love?” Your voice wafts out, petting Lysander with a single finger in your lap; itching at his neck as he coos. “Do they get to choose?” 
Gaz fiddles with his cape’s clasp, fingers dancing over the silver make. He has made a motion to always take off his ring when it’s just the two of you, easily slipping it away until he was forced to put it back on. He doesn’t know if you feel it, but he believes the two of you to be well-off acquaintances—perhaps even friends. 
The man enjoyed speaking to you. He reveled in the limitless knowledge that spilled from your tongue, your stories and tales. Gaz, unlike so many others, enjoyed your company not for the power that it offers in a physical sense, but for the words that you freely give. Often your sentences were like honey to him, seeping into his head.
A princess speaking with a knight? Unheard of. A Fae princess? Blasphemy. 
It was easy to forget that you were older than many generations of his family line. 
“No,” he says, glancing over. “All knights take a vow of chastity when they commit to service. None of those alive in this kingdom will wed unless they willingly break their oaths.” 
Your head tilts, crown resting comfortably a small distance away on a rock.
“That sounds lonely.”
Gaz smiles, “Worried about me?” 
You stare, eyes traveling the little deaths on his face—the lines, the scars. “If it’s what you wish to do with yourself, who am I to tell you any different?” 
The man’s face softens, lips pulling as his cheeks heat under the moonlight. “Figured you’d have some opinion of it.”
You hum, raising a brow. “It’s your life—it’s so fleeting. Tread it as if water between your fingers. Before you know it, it’ll be gone.” Lysander leans into your flesh, shivering. “Live it.”
“For someone who says they don’t know humans that well,” Gaz grumbles, though his chest is light. “You sure know a lot about them.”
“Intuition,” your mouth twitches in a smile. “And a bit of reality.”
Delicate looks are shared. 
You do admit, you liked these conversations with Gaz. The long nights and the feeling of grass under your flowing dresses; the horrid contraptions that your betrothed had tried to make you wear stuck far back into the wardrobe of your room. Heavy items—suffocating corsets, unlike the simple but elegantly sewn one you wear now. You could feel it trying to sneak in when the days drew on. 
Control. 
It was all becoming more and more apparent. You did not want to live like this. 
Your face goes troubled as the calm silence moves over the Medlar with its reaching branches. Fireflies hang like miniature stars as you take your crown and slip it back on; to feel the comforting weight of antlers. 
The knight pauses as he slips his cape off of his shoulder, blinking over at you in a slow confusion. You look troubled. He’d never seen that expression on your face before.
“Stag?” Your head swivels, as if in another world.
“Just thinking,” your voice moves into his ears, making them hum with energy. Gaz’s brows furrow, a frown taking over. After a second, he stands, moving closer on quiet feet. 
You watch him as he goes to kneel near you, one arm moving over the bent nature of his leg while the other holds fabric—letting it cascade over the earth. Brown eyes narrow, and a joking tease moves with the undertone of slight concern.
“I’m usually the talker, I know, but when you look a bit like that it makes me nervous.”
You frown. “Look like what?”
“Like someone’s got a sword to your neck, Princess.” The air is cool here, the deep throws of night taking you by the breath in your throat. A smooth smirk. “It’s my job to make sure that doesn’t happen, yeah?”
If you leave, if you find a way out of this…the war will never end. It will go on until stone cracks like glass and generations forget why it even started in the first place. 
But why were you put to the axe because of it? Why must you take the blade to the stomach—an object of greed? 
Gaz’s amused voice moves lower at your immobile lips, going serious. 
“Hey,” a hand outstretched to your arm, hovering. “Really, is everything alright?”
“Gaz,” you pause, voice still level despite your heated pulse. It’s like a snake curls itself in your guts, roots growing in your veins. The courtyard seems to shiver all by itself, leaves curling into themselves from bushes and trees. Lysander’s feet shimmy, head moving about. 
This knight had been kind to you as well as honest about his intentions. Chivalrous. Such qualities are hard to come by anymore.
“I don’t believe I want this.” It’s a breath more quiet than a lapping of waves. Gaz stills, fingers above your flesh twitching. “I can’t live in a cage. I refuse.”
Silver meets brown, holding it firmly. 
“I will not be a prize to be chained to a birthing bed.” 
The man’s face pulls at that, tightening. 
You don’t know what to expect. It isn’t fear in you—no, nothing like this could make you afraid. Apprehensive? Perhaps. Age made you cautious. At any moment he might flip his tune; run off to tattle to a King he, seemingly, likes just as much as you. Which is to say, very little. But there’s still the possibility, the knowledge stacked over ages and ages of strategy and mind games. 
A knight of a tension-ridden kingdom, swearing fealty to a King whom you’re betrothed to. You’d just expressed treason, in a way. It could put you to the sword; to the rope. To irons. Your mind runs through the millions of possibilities, not able to settle on a single one before—
A cape settles over your shoulders, startling you. 
Hand snapping to grab the front, your head snaps up, eyes wider than you can remember them ever going. 
Soft browns meet you, a thin smile. Fireflies buzz about, and a dove sits under your still finger, watching with beady orbs intently at the scene. A Medlar quivers. 
A stag and a knight breathe the same air. A godly creation and a saint ensnared in a song far larger than they intend, as the world shifts past all around them. Silver starlight leaves long reflections breaking from the hanging glory of your gems, but the patches of light on Gaz’s face capture yours in that instant far more than they should have. 
Impossibly so. Unnaturally so. 
Does this mortal have magic of his own, perhaps? You have to ask yourself. There was no other possibility. 
And when he speaks…it’s like whatever ice has been layered over your antediluvian heart breaks into fire. There wasn’t even a fight from him.
“Then tell me what you need.”
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whetstonefires · 1 year
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So like, I'm pretty darn sure Mo Xuanyu did not actually make a pass at Jin Guangyao.
For several reasons, like for one thing hitting on your own actual brother who is also your boss is genuinely insane behavior, in a way nothing else we know about the guy actually matches, other than his reputation for being crazy which mostly seems to originate from the same point as the sexual harassment allegations. which tracks because even with rampant societal homophobia, that's such a crazy thing to do people would question it if it didn't come paired with the information that he's insane.
Then there's the fact that if that had actually happened, there's basically no way master spin artist jgy would have let it get out, because actually experiencing that would trigger his sense-of-uncleanliness issues so hard.
But what we see is that somehow Everyone Knows that it happened, but also that Jin Guangyao totally didn't tell anyone, because he's too merciful and kind and respectable. It just mysteriously leaked somehow that this private scandal happened.
(Also, to step up a meta level, the gay goth kid who was never quite accepted into his own family and wound up self-destructing was in fact guilty of the homophobic allegations spread by the powerful man who manipulates reputation for personal advantage? This is not the kind of story where that would be true. The thematic dissonance is too much.)
The only way it's believable that mxy made a move on jgy is if jgy spent a long time maneuvering him into it, hinting and deniably flirting and just generally being maximum skeeze, just a huge elaborate incestuous honeypot, just to bait a 'ruined reputation' trap. Which makes no sense at all.
I don't think jgy is necessarily above that kind of creepy grooming behavior but I do think he would hate it, and definitely wouldn't resort to it when sowing rumors would work just as well. and expose him to less risk.
So Mo Xuanyu didn't do it.
So what we've got is that Jin Guangyao systematically obliterated this kid's credibility.
No one would listen to anything he said after being expelled in that sort of context, especially anything against Jin Guangyao, whom he now has obvious motive to smear. This was a preemptive strike against some kind of leak.
It's exactly the kind of thing jgy would do--it targets individual vulnerability, leverages the weak points in Mo Xuanyu's reputation into gaping chasms, in a way that associates jgy with scandal but makes him personally look better. also shows signs of jgy projecting his own issues onto others. The MO fits.
And his motive is easy to construct: Mo Xuanyu had had access to his secrets, such as Wei Wuxian's manuscripts and probably a lot of the other ugly shit. And Jin Guangyao needed him silenced, due to some thing or other, but as with SiSi didn't want to have to kill him.
(A fascinating thing about jgy as a villain is the moments where he yields to sentiment pretty consistently contribute to his destruction.)
But then we come around to: so why didn't Mo Xuanyu sic Wei Wuxian on Jin Guangyao, then?
In cql wwx does have a curse cut for jgy, to keep him in the plot and create an additional open storyline to resolve, since viewers are gonna be denied romantic catharsis, but in cql the homophobia plotline isn't there because all the gay is censored, and mxy allegedly hit on qin su instead. which is less utterly unhinged to do though still big wtf.
In the book, mxy summoned the Yiling Patriarch just to kill the Mos. (Which he didn't even do lmao.)
So I've always been sort of poking at that, like if you're destroying your own soul to get revenge, why spare the person who deliberately ruined your life?
Even if he had done the thing, it was weird! Maybe even weirder; if you're in a headspace where making sexual advances anyone should be able to predict are unwelcome seems like a good idea in the first place, there's a pretty good chance getting punished for them isn't going to make you think you were in the wrong. Otoh there is a zone where he could have done it, gotten the backlash, cleared his head a bit, realized it was fucked up to do, and therefore not held a grudge in that particular direction, but it's still weird. (And also he definitely didn't do the thing.)
But if he was so angry, why was he not angry at Jin Guangyao? Who definitely kicked him out of the Sect, all else aside?
And then I looked at the passage in Jin sect where we swap to Jin Ling's pov and he tells us one of the few first-hand things we hear about Mo Xuanyu: He thought Jin Guangyao was the most amazing person in the whole world. He adored him.
And being betrayed and rejected by him didn't turn that into resentment. Even though he resented the other side of his family enough to want them gratuitously murdered.
So you know what I think happened?
I think Mo Xuanyu thinks it was an honest misunderstanding. That Jin Guangyao, his idol, falsely concluded that his gay little brother was creeping on him based on a misinterpretation of his admiring behavior, and was appropriately revolted. And that Mo Xuanyu doesn't blame him for it. He blames himself.
He went back to his mother's family to rot genuinely feeling like the ruination of his life was his own fault for being creepy. And died like that.
Because of that, to a considerable extent. How can you bend any of your will to saving yourself, to getting out of an abusive situation and seeking a better one, when you don't think you deserve to be saved?
Fucks me up.
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jeannineee · 8 months
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Home
Rhysand x Reader
a/n: I tried taking a break but I couldn’t do it LMFAO.
this takes place shortly after events of Under the Mountain. Reader is Rhys’s mate, she stayed in Velaris while he was trapped.
warnings: canon typical themes, mentions of Rhys’s trauma (SA, abuse, torture, etc.)
Rhysand was home.
The words swam through your mind for the millionth time. You repeated them to yourself, over and over, in the weeks since Rhysand had returned.
Rhys was home. Rhys was home. Rhys was home.
Even now, as you watched him sleep, you found yourself wondering if it was another dream. A cruel, terrible dream, in likeness to the ones you’ve had for the last five decades.
You’d dream that Rhysand was beside you, as he was now. His soft, deep breaths filling the room. His tanned chest rising and falling in tandem with your own. You’d dream that he was right there, as he’d been for centuries, only to wake and find that you were alone, and he was still suffering.
The only assurance you had that you weren’t dreaming now, was in the strength of the bond. It had grown so weak in the decades he’d spent Under the Mountain. Rhys used what little power he had left to shield it from her. From Amarantha.
There were days—months that the bond had felt almost nonexistent, to the point you had found yourself wondering if Rhys was alive. But then, every so often, he would send the slightest pull, the smallest reminder that he lived. You wondered what those decades cost him.
No, you didn’t wonder. You knew, now. You knew from the moment he returned. The gauntness of his beautiful face. The paleness of his skin. The way he tensed as you hugged him. You knew from the way he spilled the contents of his stomach the first three days after he returned. You knew, as he scrubbed his skin raw in the bathtub, hardly able to meet your eyes. You knew as he picked at his pristine suits, trying to rid himself of the uncleanliness he so desperately hated.
You knew, even in this moment, as you patted away the sweat that coated his forehead, his chest. The nightmares that haunted him. Her words and her touch, haunting him.
Amarantha’s whore, they called him. They don’t know what he sacrificed. The pieces of himself that he gave up. The marks that his soul will bear for eternity.
As you met his violet eyes, neither of you spoke. You said nothing as you ghosted your thumb along his jaw, soothing him through the bond. He wordlessly laid his head on your chest, clinging tightly enough to your waist that you knew, he too, was convincing himself that you were there.
You ran your fingertips along his scalp, content to listen to his breathing as your wandering thoughts slowly gave way to a dreamless sleep.
Rhys was home. Rhys was home. Rhys was home.
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slut4msby · 4 months
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Happy New Year? Miya Atsumu x Fem!Reader
+ tags & warnings; suggestive content, heavily implied smut, atsumu and reader did the deed :0??, borderline fuckboy!atsumu [i have a soft spot for fuckboy!atsumu], not proofread, implied ex bf but no one is specified other than being a vb player so use ur imagination qts :3
+ a/n; hey guys! i'm lea :3. this is my first fic on tumblr in YEARS i used to have an account long long long ago that like NO ONE would know so this is my welcome back ig ;p have some fuckboy!atsumu tehheeheh [i want fuckboy!atsumu so bad or maybe i just have issues teheheh]. also its dec 31 when i post this so HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! stay safe and take care x
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Waking up on your own has become a tradition on New Year's Day. For the past three years, a very lonely past three years. Ever since your partner had broken up with you. 
This year was no different, waking up in an empty bed - but not your bed? The realisation left you in confusion. Your eyes darted around the room, cologne, dirty clothes, sports trophies and empty water bottles filled the room. How classy. You sat up against the headboard, head pounding from the alcohol that had consumed your body the night before. Despite its uncleanliness it was a nice room at its core. The problem is, you don't know when you got here or how you got here. Matter of fact if you were even still in the country.
“Hey Doll.” A shirtless figure called from the doorway, a towel wrapped around his waist, his V-line on full display. He was fit, no one could deny that. His blonde hair messy from his shower, his body littered with hickies and scratches - your hickies and scratches. “You really did a number on me huh?” He let out a soft chuckle.
You tried to respond but your body was still in a state of shock from the man you had managed to catch.
“You alright princess? You seemed to be a lot louder and confident last night.” He teased, walking towards you taking a seat on his bed. “You know, you look good in my shirt.” He adds on in reference to the oversized t-shirt which accompanied your body. He shuffled closer to you, he planted another kiss on your neck over one of the many purple marks he had given you last night, “could get used to having you around.”
“Me?” You question, he only nods in response. 
He grabs your face in his hand. You couldn’t deny his hands were nice, they were big and he obviously knew how to use them. He moved you to look at him, forcing tension. You couldn’t lie from what you could remember is that he was good. He pulled you closer and closer, looking at your lips and then your eyes. “Can I?” He asks.
“Can you?” You respond giving him your infamous ‘fuck-me eyes’.
“Oh doll, we both know we can.” He mutters against your lips, before pulling you in for a kiss which you very happily accept. 
That’s when the memories come back, you could never forget a kiss like that. You remember Kuroo forcing you to a party and meeting him, Atsumu Miya.
“C’moonnnnnnnn n/n-chan it will be fun.” Kuroo begged.
“Tetsu, I don’t know I am happy alone.”
“You’re so boring now n/n-chan.” He pouts. He knows that sentence will rile you up. “You used to be the life of the party y/n.”
“Used to? Oh baby I still am.”
“Then come to the party n/n.”
“Fine.”
You remember walking in and being greeted by Bokuto who you hadn't seen in years. Completely ditching the volleyball scene after your ex-boyfriend. Bokuto was still as huge and friendly as always. You greeted all the familiar faces and were even introduced to some new ones. It was nice. As the hours went on the alcohol overtook your body. 
You had found yourself on a couch on top of him - Atsumu Miya. 
“Woahh pretty girl slow down.” He pulls away from the kiss a string of saliva breaking you apart as he does so. “What's yer name, pretty girl?” He asks before leaving light kisses on your neck forcing a gasp out of you.
“L/n.” You say quickly, “y/n l/n.”
“Pretty name for a pretty girl.” He says continuing kissing down your neck. He would have gone further right then and there however your rendezvous was cut short by Bokuto and Kuroo calling your name. And you thought that was gonna be the last encounter with the mystery man.
“Ohhhh~ n/n-chan getting it on with tsum-tsum.” Bokuto teases.
“N/n is lonelyyyyyy.” Kuroo slurs.
The teasing continued all night, however at 11:58pm everyone started gathering around for the countdown, you were convinced this is the fourth year you would be lonely. Before you felt an arm snag your waist.
“Hey pretty girl.” He purrs into your ear.
“Oh it’s you.”
“I have a name y’know princess?”
Silence.
“Do yer seriously not know who I am.”
“Egotistical by the sound of it, pretty boy.” You respond.
“Atsumu Miya. Y’know? MSBY’s setter?”
“Right. I like pretty boy more.” You giggle.
5
“Yer won't be moaning that tonight trust me doll.”
4
3
2
1
Atsumu pulls you in for a kiss, “So you wanna take me up on that offer princess?”
You can’t help but nod eagerly.
Happy New year to you indeed.
©slut4msby.
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Note
for the 2k event:
congrats on all the followers!!!!!
Levi and reader are childhood best friends to lover to eventually a married couple. Maybe following their journey through all the seasons and even in no regrets?
Congrats again!!
hello! :3 i'm not sure how to fit this into a drabble, so i did headcanons about how Levi would have reacted to you being pregnant or having a child during these various points in time!
Dadvi Canonverse Headcanons | 2K Follower Event
ACWNR:
➼ Once it turns out that you're pregnant with his child, Levi hauls ass to get the two of you out of the Underground. He picks up shady jobs for the extra money (assassin!levi au anyone?) in the hopes that he can make enough to get you surface residency as soon as possible. ➼ With how uncleanly the Underground was, Levi would be very wary of where you were going. While he was never a fan of dirt and grime and it bugs him to no end to have it around, he was much more concerned about you potentially getting sick and putting further strain on your body that was already hosting a baby. ➼ With him picking up shadier jobs, things got more chaotic and he became more and more worried that he'd take a job he couldn't come back from. As a result, he'd spend every night with you in his arms, his hand over your belly, with him chatting to your unborn child, wanting to savor every moment that he could steal with you. ➼ If he was unfortunate and couldn't make enough money, he'd begin to have to plan on how to raise your kid in a hostile environment in a way that best avoided the type of childhood that the two of you had. ➼ Your pregnancy is one of the reasons why he jumped up so quickly at the opportunity to earn surface residency when he's recruited to assassinate Erwin. He knew he didn't have much of a choice when it came to taking the job, but having you and your unborn child as an extra incentive made him that much more motivated.
Season 1:
➼ Especially with how dangerous expeditions were, he would always go out of his way to visit you and your child regularly after expeditions. He'd be home whenever he could be, just because tomorrow was never guaranteed. ➼ If you're a Scout, he'll try to work with you to get you put on duties that you'd be able to do while pregnant that wouldn't put you or the unborn baby in too much danger. Unfortunately, that meant you weren't going outside the Walls with him anymore. ➼ When he hears that the Wall had been breached, he internally panics. He had promised to keep you in the Walls to keep you safe, yet even the safety of the Walls was compromised. The first thing he does after clearing out the Titans in Trost was to search for you and your child. ➼ Levi's a complete mess when he comes home to you after the Female Titan incident. His entire squad and a significant amount of the Scouts had died on this mission. Being around you and being able to hear you and your child's voice made it just a tad bit more bearable. You were the safe space that he needed to be able to process everything that had happened.
Season 2:
➼ As if to make up for lost time, Levi was able to spend much more time with you because of his leg injury. He hated not being able to do anything to help out with the Survey Corps, but he was also glad to be able to spend time with you and your kid without having to feel pressed for time. ➼ This shouldn't be a surprise to anyone, but Levi's the perfect house husband. He's great in caring for you while you were pregnant, especially since he had to be home due to his injury anyway. He's even better with caring for your newborn baby so you could occasionally rest. ➼ When he heard about the Wall getting breached again, he seriously began considering if he could fenagle a way to move you to the Interior. Of course, the idea of hiding didn't sit right with you, but you bet he's annoyed as fuck when you provided resistance. All he wanted to do was to keep you and your child safe, and things looked like they were falling apart left and right.
Season 3:
➼ Levi is writing you letters the entire time when he's on the run from the Interior Police. He couldn't visit you, and even sending you letters was risky. If you were pregnant, he would make sure that there was someone to help you out so you weren't just suddenly left on your own. ➼ Once Historia is crowned as Queen and he's able to return, he immediately goes back home to you, spending much time needed with you and your child since he's been gone for a while. If you were pregnant when he left and gave birth while he was gone, he'd be super harsh on himself about it even though there wasn't anything he could've done with the way that events played out. He'd overcompensate with the acts of service to try to make up for what he missed. ➼ He immediately falls into your arms after he returns from Shiganshina. If your kid was there to see him, he'd pull them in too. He didn't bother hiding it because you both believed in being honest with your kids about emotions and vulnerability. ➼ Once the Titans have been cleared, he takes you and your kid outside the Walls to visit the beach, trying to answer questions as best as he could as your child bombarded him with questions about humanity existing outside the Walls.
Season 4:
➼ After his initial trip to Liberio, he'd take you and your kid to visit, just to explore the wonders of civilization outside the Walls. It was nice to come here as an actual vacation instead of under the pretense of war. ➼ It absolutely breaks his heart when he sees the pained look in your eyes after he tells you that he was to leave you for a while to go into the forest to watch over Zeke. This was the last time you saw him until after the war was over. ➼ Since you're separated, he starts writing you letters again, sometimes sending back a flower or piece of nature that reminded him of you. He took immense comfort in the letters that you'd write back, bringing that subtle hint of your scent. He could almost hear you say the words and it helps him throughout his long days waiting for news that would never come. ➼ When the letters suddenly stop, and the Rumbling began shortly after, you began to panic. If it wasn't for your kid, you'd drop everything to find him, especially with the assumption that he must have died if Zeke was able to escape. ➼ When you see him again at the end of the War, you were both horrified and relieved. You were relieved because he was alive after everyone kept telling you that he was dead, but also horrified when you saw everything that he had gone through.
Post-War:
➼ If you get pregnant post-war, Levi does everything he can to find a good place to live with easy access to care to make sure everything goes smoothly. ➼ He's a little frustrated with himself at first, since he can't help you with the baby or kid in the same capacity that he would have been able to prior to his injuries, but the two of you adjust, and he figures out alternative ways to help. (brb currently crying over imagining Levi bottle feeding your baby from his wheelchair) ➼ Levi really likes going around town with you pushing him in his wheelchair as he's holding onto your toddler. It was good quality time, chatting with you as you walked him, and playing with your toddler that was essentially the split image of him. ➼ You bet that your child is absolutely fascinated with Levi's scars and is constantly asking for stories about the war. Levi was like a hero to them and they were completely enthralled by the fact that he was such an important participant in the war. ➼ He'd occasionally take you and your kid to Paradis Island just to visit and maybe show your kid memorable areas, like where the two of you got married or ran into each other for the first time.
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shannankle · 3 months
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Touch in DFF Episode 5
Okay so one thing I noticed about our episode was how touch factors into the relationship between not just Non and Jin but also their other "friends." While Jin is using touch to genuinely show his interest and include Non, the other's use it manipulatively.
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The first touch we get is Jin placing his hand on Non's knee. It's intimate and clearly conveys a touch of romantic tension. Jin openly encourages Non to join them and this reads as genuine.
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Meanwhile, Por keeps his distance, hands in pockets. There will be no touching from him at this point. Also notice that Jin is sitting while Por stands. When Jin touches Non's knee he is placing himself at relatively the same level as Non, while Por certainly won't stoop that low.
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The group (minus Jin) all call Non Greasy. I think it's relevant that this has tactile connotations. It implies that he is dirty, someone you supposedly wouldn't want to touch or get too close to. And of course this brings up class too and the association of uncleanliness with poverty.
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Jin, of course, ignores this. He touches Non from the start but also is quick to enter his personal space without qualms. Again there is a romantic interest here as well. But it importantly contrasts with the way others either avoid touching Non or use that touch to control him.
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As the group discusses the script and nag Non about it, we get both Por and Top touching Non. The each respectively put their arm or hand on his shoulder as they tell him what to do. They feign friendship and inclusion through touch. Notice how, with the exception of Jin (who's cut off on the left side in the above shot), all of them sit above Non. They may be touching him now but they once again aren't about to treat him as an actual equal.
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Immediately after touching him, Por and Top wipe their hands on each other. They touched Non to manipulate him and exert influence, but they also reveal their true colors, treating even the act of touching him as disgusting behind his back.
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They continue to do this in a way that is meant to make Non feel like "one of the gang."
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Por even gets into Non's physical space much like Jin does earlier, but this time without the genuine interest in Non beyond his script.
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This continues up until the script is complete. Por puts an arm on Non and praises them, then gives Top the stink eye until he does too.
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And Por once again wipes his hand off on Top treating Non as if he is dirty and touching him is contaminating.
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We see how touch among the group is an expression of comradery and belonging as they celebrate the approval of their pitch.
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When Non shows up, Jin quickly extends that to him.
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But the others do not. Even if their faces didn't say it all, we can tell from how they place arms on one another that Non isn't included by anyone but Jin. Top touches Tee and Por touches Fluke, but Jin and Non remain separate in the front of the group.
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In following scenes we see the group touch Non but only in violent ways, shoulder checking him and shoving him.
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And of course, tripping him.
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As an interesting aside, we have Top using touch on Por to distract him. How quickly friendly touch can become a weapon
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As Jin and Non talk on the rooftop they share a moment where they both briefly tap one another. It's a truly friendly moment, and I think it's important that Non is the one who initiated the touch unlike every other moment. I think it's interesting too how this touch is brief, it doesn't hang on Non like Por's hand or Top's arm. It's too brief to demand anything but enough to convey an emotion.
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By the end, we have Tee jumping in and using touch as manipulation just like Por and Top did before. Where before Tee generally would stand back from Non, now that he wants something from him, he's ready to place a hand on his shoulder. Still, like Por and Top he remains standing above him.
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