Wróciłam doma. Odpuściłam sobie autostrady i ekspresówki. Po drodze zarzuciło mi dupą 2x, ale dobra jestem w kontrowaniu, więc bez szwanku wyszłam z zimowej opresji :D
To już 2 dni, jak jestem w domu, a ja wciąż nie mogę się nasycić obecnością kota. I snem. Śpię dużo, do woli. Odsypiam zapierdol z sanatorium ;)
Panna Yoyo jakaś taka rodzinna się zrobiła, nawet na zajęcia w piątek nie poszła, nagadać się ze mną nie mogła :D Chyba tęskniła <3
Wczoraj ogarnęłam świąteczne zakupy, dziś gotuję. Bigos już mam, Zaraz się wezmę za kapustę z grochem. Barszcz wstawiłam, zasłoikuję (jak zawsze wszystkie zupki). Jutro zapłacę za krokiety i uszka :D Odkąd mieszkam we Wrocławiu, to tam zamawiam na święta potrawy, które są czaso i pracochłonne.
Niby do świąt tak mało czasu, a ja czuję jakiś taki luz i odprężenie.
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"Aha! I have found you! The evil witch that turns knights on quests into animals!"
"Oh hi. What animal would you like to be?"
"None, you foul creature of the dark! Return my brothers to their proper form, or perish by my sword!"
"Mate, I'd love to, but they won't let me."
"What?"
"One of you knights came by, waved his sword around too. Yelling about how I turned his mentor into a frog. Demanded I turn him back into a human. When I gave in and did as he asked, this guy whined non-stop until I turned him back into a frog. Naked, mind you. The clothes don't survive the transformation. I had a naked old man, throwing a tantrum in my house, demanding to be a frog again. What kind of mentor was he? It was an awful day."
"..."
"Worse still, his whinging convinced his student he'd also rather be a frog! Now both of them live in the pond out back. I made them agree to stay close by just in case, but they'll hop off if I try and turn them human again. Did you see many animals around here when you showed up?"
"N-no?"
"Exactly. They run off pretty quick after the spell hits. Frolicking is a top priority."
"No! I can't believe this! This must be a trick!"
"Yeah! On me! Turns out most people who decide to go on quests just want a break from their lives ruled by hierarchy and social obligations. You ever seen a sparrow bow to a king? Or a deer be married off for more generational power? Being an animal is chill. Apparently. I don't get to be one. I have to stay here in this form in case any of them change their mind."
"..."
"..."
"... Could I be any animal?"
"Ugh, as long as you don't pick anything too popular! We can't overpopulate the forest with toads or wolves or whatever; it'll throw off the ecosystem!"
"Can I be a buck?"
"No, we have too many of those and it gets competitive. You could be a rabbit?"
"But I'll be hunted!"
"Yeah, can't imagine what that's like. How about a lizard? With the increase in biodiversity, we've had a lot of delicious new insects around here for you to eat."
"Ergh, hmm ok. I guess that's better than a rabbit. Yes, turn me into a lizard, witch!"
"Fine! Fine. I'll give you a second to take... all of that off. Cover yourself up with this."
"I can't just take off my armour. I'd need a squire to help me, unless you're able to do it?"
"Absolutely not. That's your fault for not bringing your squire with you. What kind of knight are you?"
"Can't you just do the spell? Surely I'll shrink out of it."
"And be subsequently squished by all that metal. You won't be a lizard for very long under those considerations."
"Well, what do you want me to do?!"
"Go back and bring your squire with you. Or wear something lighter and easier to change out of. None of this armour stuff with all the buckles."
"Fine! I'll be back within the fortnight!"
"I'll be here waiting, I guess. Don't get lost on your way back."
"Farewell, witch!"
"..."
"Hey babe?"
"Yeah?"
"You refreshed the memory spell on the door right?"
"I did it this morning. Why? Did we have another visitor?"
"Yeah. Another knight. Says he'll be 'back in a fortnight' to be turned into a lizard."
"Huh. Didn't want another lizard then?"
"Nah, but I did put a bit of revolutionary spirit in the spell as he left. He might bring some interesting ideas back to his town. Get their minds off expanding further into the forest and killing all their friends."
"I love that you want to keep them all safe. Need any help putting the shields back up?"
"Yes please"
"Think the lords will ever realise getting the kids therapy and better social mobility and stability is cheaper than training them to be knights only to be turned into animals?"
"The lords won't even look at their own arse to wipe. They leave that to their maids. I can only hope one day they mistake a knife for the cloth."
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Anyone else want to like live two very different lifes. Like my two dreams are being a vtuber, bc like I like playing games and playing games with lots of people is so cool, I wanna vibes with a huge a group of gamers. But also I just want to live a small simple cottage core witch in the woods type life
Like these two are not the same vibes
And I don’t even mean like oh all chill puzzle games and stuff no I like some of those but I also like some action and high emotion games like wtf brain plz
Call me Hannah Montana bc I want the best of both worlds rawr
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