#wish I had better connections

[gideonisms]

I love arranging it's like YES YES THE OBJECTS ARE IN LOCATIONS

#i do sometimes wish i had a messy apartment and a put together life #anyway i acquired a new favorite object at goodwill yesterday a mug in my favorite color #i was wondering about the previous owner and why they would give up such a nicely shaped mug #was it an older person who passed away or just someone moving? #maybe they're just in a smaller apartment now and they have other mugs they like better #maybe their favorite color isn't sky blue #i wish i knew their whole story #why didn't you like this mug? #i do think about the people who owned my things before me and wish them well sometimes #it's nice to be connected like this #i think that's what i like so much about stories where people explore abandoned places #it's also about knowing other people in a very genuine way #not what they present to the world but how they really lived #idk

[turtleblogatlast]

Raph amassing a decent squad of stuffed animals when he’s little and coming up with wrestling matches between them.

Captain Cuddles is the winning face, and Cheech is his long-standing heel rival. Their fights are legendary.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt raph #rottmnt headcanons #rise Raph #I feel like people ignore Raph’s love of wrestling too much I think it’s so cute he loves it as much as he does 😭 #but yeah little Raph making up his own wrestling matches between his stuffed animals #because he’s gotta go with the stuffed animals - they can’t get hurt as easily as his brothers #and he learns from a young age how easy it is to hurt #so it’s better to have friends that can’t get hurt! right? #SIDE NOTe #I like to think Raph connects so well with Franken-Foot largely because he connects with inanimate objects so easily #he’s very quick to give humanity to anything that endears itself to him #I wonder if they had a bad run in with humans in the past and Raph remembers it most vividly #projecting on inanimate objects and animals with the respect and care he wishes others would give him

[biomic]

in one scene RTD takes one of the most ill-conceived, nothing retcons of all time and instantly makes it compelling. this should've been the timeless child's main angle from the very start, intimate character work will always trump massive lore dumps meant to drive wiki editors mad

#i know this WAS part of chibnall's intention but i wish it had been conveyed better #didn't see anyone make this connection at all until he mentioned it in an interview. not a good thing! #kendrix morgan died for our sins #doctor who for ts #doctor who spoilers// #dw spoilers//

[mmmerlenoir]

I've been wondering about Ed getting rid of everything Stede owned. We keep saying that he did that because being surrounded by it all hurt, and he was angry and wanted to hurt Stede back by destroying his beautiful things.

But... he only does all of that once Izzy threatens him back into being Blackbeard again and, further, the Kraken. I actually think Ed gets rid of all of Stede's stuff to outwardly show (pretend) to be his ruthless self again, but also to cut himself off to make being Blackbeard easier. He couldn't be the Kraken whilst surrounded by the memory of his time with Stede and of being allowed to be himself and soft. The stark, empty, and trashed room is how it looks inside his heart, but not because Stede is gone and left him, at least not just.

And it looks not dissimilar to his cabin on the QAR, just with less candles and skulls. It's all part of the performance...

#getting thoughts in order challenge #and that blue robe is his one thing he could've get rid off #probably had it hidden #even from himself maybe #it's the last bit of connection #he's torturing not just the crew with daily raids but also himself #by denying himself warmth and comfort maybe even more #I wish I could articulate myself better #Blackbeard #Edward Teach #Blackbeard!meta #Our Flag Means Death #OFMD

[veggiecorner]

One thing that I'm afraid about for the next Zelda game is that nintendo is clearly going down the botw route for future titles. I loved botw and totk, but to me these two games HIGHLY prioritized gameplay rather than story. Ocarina of time created a formula for its future zelda titles that in my eyes prioritized story over gameplay (now the quality of the stories could be debated aksjdbakbd)

Overall i just hope the zelda team finds a REALLY good balance between the two

#totk's story WAS better told than botw #but....i did sort of enjoys botw's story more simply because of the story building #that totk really lacked #example: it was fun to imagine the shit that happened 100 years ago #rather than zelda's time in the past with the Zonai #and i will forever say the mystery of the Zonai was really killed off. I loved Rauru and Mineru but i feel like.... #the story would've been the same if they weren't Zonai and we just hylians #you know what i mean? #anyways #is this a rant? kind of #pre-calamity era had sOOO much tension and emotions that I loved thinking about #zonai era....kinda didn't #it attempted to but i couldn't really connect #i wish there was a scene between ganondorf talking to zelda just so she could be like “holy shit uh this is dangerous.....” #OKAY RANT OVER NOW FR #Sorry for sooo many long posts today #a lot of my mind #zelda #totk #botw #loz

[therealvincentio]

In season 3 of Better Call Saul we can see a Cisco Access Point (3700 series) on the ceiling of the HHM boardroom.

Assuming it’s in the default configuration the solid green light indicates that no devices are associated.

#bcs #better call saul #cisco #cisco 3700 #I wish I had a different type of autism. #why am I like this #zero WiFi connections

[thelassoway]

Ted Lasso: Season 2 Premiered on July 23rd, 2021

#Happy one year anniversary to season 2!!! #Ted Lasso #Jason Sudeikis #Hannah Waddingham #*mine: gif #Brendan Hunt #Sarah Niles #Brett Goldstein #Toheeb Jimoh #Phil Dunster #Juno Temple #Kola Bokinni #Jeremy Swift #it was hard picking just one moment for most of these #I definitely switched the scene I used for Midnight Train to Royston #wish I had more time to give these a proper edit this felt rushed and I could've done better #I think I kind of connected the episode in these quick little bits and everyone gets a bit of screen time in these #Blink-182's I Miss You playing in the background

[lupismaris]

I have four (only four) photos of the party (a handful of guests around the fire taken well after dark) not counting post party bathroom selfies that might be salvageable and a bunch of photos of my parents' Christmas tree (taken because we aren't doing a tree this year and I got emotional when leaving)

Not a single photo of food, not a single photo of wine, not a single photo of me with anyone, not a single photo of the guests together or who came, not a single photo taken for social or for myself to prove the day even happened

Just a fleeting moment burnt out like a joyful ember filled with food, music, and people spending time together

I like to think that makes it a successful party

#this. this is a special kind of high. #like i don't think i could cut it as say a line cook y'know but a clam bake? pig/lamb roast? Crawfish boil? oh. oooh im king. #ok maybe not king but i feel untouchable rn. there was only one moment yesterday where I saw ppl on their phones n shit #yes i wish groups had merged a bit more and if I'd scheduled my time a bit better i could have done that #but for a first time ever hosting anything and having 25-30 people total ilthe fact that everyone said and seemed to enjoy themselves #and was engaged in conversations with people and connecting with each other and hanging out without having to put on facades #and demolished the food. absolutely demolished it. i had enough for a second round but by the time it was worth putting out #people were telling me to stop cooking tho i did pull out some for late arrivals #god i want to do this all the time holy shit. just. oh my god i need to figure out to do this regularly. my parents wont be up for it. #but maybe something. ill figure it out.

[mattodore]

did matthias and theo hug a lot? i need to see pictures . please . pretty please

i think you were asking for photos from that scene i showed of matthias carrying theo and calling him mała myszko... but i didn't take many photos from then so i took these for you instead <3

#river dipping #asks #anonymous #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #a burning house to live in #echthroi #i totally meant to answer this the same time i answered that mattodore question from hoursssss ago but... #i ended up reading and then i felt Weird so🧎 my bad #but look how cute they are....... matthias is spinning theo around in those last photos that's why theo's legs are swinging......... :(</3 #.......i wish i had more to say here but i think my personality disorder is starting to act up again i'm feeling really weird abt posting #and being Online right now... i'm having trouble connecting w/ ppl... you know how it is um... i might actually need to take a break #i'm not sure... i want to power through it but my brain is making it hardddddd #am constantly thinking abt that one anon who also has avpd... thinking of u legend hope you're getting through it better than me #i’ll sleep on it and see if i feel better tomorrow 🫡 tho i’ve been feeling this way for the last three or four days now. hm.

[mishkakagehishka]

Idc anymore i think i'm a good enough writer that i can say that when i noticed the pattern in what exactly makes a book "good" on booktok (and, bc of that, what makes it popular and top bestseller lists), it feels almost demeaning and denigrating to the entire craft. Idk if i should blame the way tiktok-esque social media has utterly rotted everyone's ability to concentrate and read more than three sentences, but literally none of those books are objectively good.

(Yes, yes, art is subjective. HOWEVER. Art is subjective when you look at style, at themes, at motifs, at plots and characters. Art is still a craft, it still requires skill. I've seen beyond the tiktok quotes of these books. Not even their editors are good given the amount of typos/spelling mistakes. That is not something that you should find in a traditionally published book.)

You look at these books, and you know the only reason for their existence is to make money. I cannot and will not accept that as art.

(I'm on Tumblr, of course I have to explain every point. Artists who make money off their art =/= people who only create art meant to be profitable. There is a difference between an artist who hopes to monetise doing what they love, who creates what they wish to see more of and who happens to then create something that other people wish to see more of, and a person who looks at what's trending and decides that making an unholy frankenstein's monster of a book that mashes all those trending tropes and motifs together would get them rich quick. The fact that a lot of these booktok books become popular because of nepotism is just the cherry on top. It's soulless.)

And to finally say what I wanted to say, it's because none of these books have any deeper message or even artistic value to them. You will find a few out of context quotes or paragraphs, ones written specifically so they'd look deep and beautiful when taken out of context, so that people would post them, so that people would buy the books. Entire books written just so those few lines could become viral and make cash. It cannot even be compared to a hook line writers would post to get people interested in their works, because in booktok's case, those are the only lines of quality and in the context itself, they are often out of place and forced.

I just hate booktok, i hate what modern social media has done to art. It's all created to be quickly consumed, for the few ☆aesthetic☆ glances, and then discarded. Just to make more money for those who are already nepo babies. As if artists needed more obstacles to jump over.

#of course historically it's always been the same #people with free time to create (rich powerful) created #very rarely did you see someone from a humble bg make it as an artist #which is why killing maiming everyone saying Shakespeare was actually a rich guy btw #but like it makes me angry personally #before you call me just jealous - i don't have any wish to monetise my art #my career ambitions lie in a different field (tho adjacent i suppose since i'm a linguist) #i'm saying it makes me angry for other writers who want to make money doing what they love most #it's always been hard. you've always had to have connections or fight tooth and nail for a chance at being published #why? because of how SUBJECTIVE it is #but at least if your skills distinct you and if you bring a truly unique concept you'd have better chances #then modern social media rolled around and no longer can we just publish and disappear no no #WE have to market our works. on twitter on instagram on podcasts on the radio and tv it's up to the authors #i already found that demeaning enough as an introvert #but now it's not even that. publishers no longer look for unique and distinct #they found out booktok is the real cash cow. they look for colleen hoovers who publish fifty books a year #all of poor quality but with enough aesthetic lines that they can easily be marketed thru #the youth who uses AO3 tags and ''omg it's so girlboss!'' and ''it has representation! (not really it's always piss poor rep)'' to market #it to others. who take the same line over and over and go ''omg... this is so deep'' but the lines never look good in context

[bugdogg]

uhhh something something learn to love yourself dummy

(this is mostly a doodle, i wanted to draw Zuki w their past self for a while now so yayyyy)

#oc #my art #doodles #yeahhhh #i daydream a lot of angst when i listen to music #cause daydreaming slow things w music is hard #i feel like drawing this would help ease some anxiety for me #cause id finally get an idea i had for mizuki out there #the hard part w them as my s/i rn is that they arent improving w me #im trying to get better but their flaws sorta stay #which makes it harder for me to connect sometimes and occasionally harder to move foward #cause i gotta keep overriding self deprecating thoughts w good #and writing mizuki stuff sorta puts me back into square 1 (does that make sense idkkkkk) #and i could write them to improve w me but it also means acknoledging my constant changing fave and opinions on stuff #wahh its hard i wish i had consistency but im also happy to be as wild as i am #i just wanted to word my feelings a bit im not upset this is just a challenge im figuring out #anyway thanks if u read this ik its late but im happy if someone hears my weird thoughtsss #i appreciate ittt<3

[seariii]

Woops look at the time

#sigh... this is what i get for staying up so late.... #no seari you arent doing it wrong. there isnt a right way to do it in the first place #no one will be disappointed in you. also remember that you've never been good at this so of course it's difficult #you are trying and thats enough #sigh... this is about interacting with mutuals heh... ive been mia i feel like... and that's okay #but i wish to be able to connect like everyone else does.... i mean today i sent a couple messages so that's good #maybe i could send one more before I go mimir... #I just... I miss people... people i wish to connect to... sigh... i wish i had better social skills #i envy that in others so much... its like you actually know how to talk to people how do you even do that... #sigh... lets go seari it will at least let them know that you care

[quiverpaw]

been doing a little schoolwork on cultures and i'm just like. damn. i am insanely disconnected with my culture

#in ways it still manifests in what i eat or listen to #and how i style my hair but #i do wish i had a better way to connect with myself and who i came from #personal

[aezyrraeshh]

; OC AS A LOVE LANGUAGE

tagged by @indorilnerevarine to take this quiz for some of my ocs; thank you so much for the tag! <33 tagging @arklay @aartyom @risingsh0t @steelport @devilbrakers @liurnia @florbelles @shadowglens @calenhads @aelyosos @jillvalcntines @shepardgf @swordcoasts @cultistbase @brujah @girlbosselrond @camelliagwerm @reaperkiller @faarkas @veisshaupt @celticwoman & whoever else wants to do this!

; a knife called grief

You have left your house, you have left those people behind, but what are you going to do about the memories which have taken root in you? You can run but not without them. You want someone to sit with you on this cool marble floor while the sun burns everything. You want them to cut your rotten heart and theirs too. You want to sit with it in front of you, let them see you with all your flaws, which haven’t been your fault but you have been made to believe so, and you want them to love you anyways. Because you know you’d do that for them.

; an undoing influence

Can someone tell you what to do? You have been carrying so much love within you for so long it is starting to turn into anger (why does it matter, all you see is red anyways) and you have been dragging this body through each day and every night you are split open on your bed and it is so so so lonely. If someone were to walk in while you were on your bed that way and they stitched you back in a new way, lining the seams with their love and kisses, you’d probably find this dreary world a little more bearable. You want someone to turn you over and over until you look in the mirror and see yourself looking back at yourself with a gentleness which has been lacking in you since forever.

; violent devotion

Everyone seems to think you are faithless, but the thing is you haven’t yet found someone who will bring you to your knees and make you raise your head in reverence. This world has stopped bringing you joy, you want more of the divine. You want to dedicate your entire existence to someone; you want to make them realise they are not something terrible, make them see just how much beauty they are bringing to this world. You want to be the only one for them, the only one they have chosen to love. There’s a god shaped pit inside of you and only they can fit in it. And what if they choose to walk away? Didn’t I say this was violent devotion?

#ty again for the tag !! #THESE OH MY GOD THESES HIT SO HARD I AM #''you have left your house you have left those people behind but what are you going to do about the memories which have taken root in you'' #FOR LUNA I AM SCREAMING BC HER FAMILY? AND JOSIE? SHE RUNS AWAY FROM HER EMOTIONS BUT SHE STILL REMEMBERS THE GOOD TIMES EVEN IF SHE WISHES #SHE DIDNT #she will always remember the good and the bad but she wishes so badly that she could forget and be stronger than this #she is in a grip of longing and she cant escape AAAAAAAAAA #she likes to think she longs only for power but there is a thirst for connection too screaming and crying #and josie............................. i am dead #her result hits esp hard considering luna left her after josie had confessed and it's like.... her feelings drove away the person she loves #and even if she is angry at luna she is also angry at herself bc she should have known better than this #iwish someone was there for her to comfort her that it was not her fault oh my god #the anger.... screaming and crying x2 #ALSO I HAVE THE WEIRDEST WAY OF INTRODUCING OCS BUT MEET ELIAN #not going to say a lot abt him bc mystery lmao but *violent* devotion fits them all too well #too too well #anyways i am going to think abt these for the rrest of the day now #♡: tag games

[dan-crimes]

I love writers I love when they ramble on abt characters and their motivations, their core values and the reasons why they react to things in certain ways and having character interactions work off of each other due to their differing ways of viewing the world and in general I just love character analysis

#as someone who loves humans and human behaviours and figuring out why people react to things the ways that they do #uhhh I'm actually surprisingly really bad @ writing characters with those same traits 😅 #unless it is smth I can connect to on some sort of level like a few of my characters have issues that I specifically relate to #thereforee I can understand the ways they act in certain circumstances #BUT when it comes to characters that are like almost entirely outside of my wavelength it's pretty hard for me to understand how they work #and it's pretty basic habits and behaviours I just fuckin lack them in general #like the concept of clinginess or abandoment issues or wanting to stay around people who treat you badly or jealousy or missing people #also love like I understand my type of love but my type of love isn't typical from what I've seen from others #even some of my own past issues like dealing with trauma have kinda been lost on me especially bcuz I'm the type to ignore stuff #like I just ignored it til it came back to bite me in the ass and had to just kinda struggle with it and go completely numb #until I got tired of feeling that way and pulled myself outta it step by step and my various negative ways of thinking elude me #since I just gradually built myself up and rearranged my brain so that all negative thinking eventually turns into dust #whether be positive or purely neutral until I'm able to handle it better #REGARDLESS I try to get a sense of what these other traits are like and how exactly they work for people but it is VERY difficult for me #bcuz the stuff is just such an alien emotion to me like people get REALLY emotional about things that simply aren't a problem for me #and I wish I could understand why and what goes on in the brain that causes that but my brain just doesn't work that way #SOOO me trying to make characters of typical issues I see people having DOESN'T really work when I have no idea what's going on #like IN GENERAL my characters need to have more emotion behind them but the emotions I need them to have are #like I said before. something I totally lack ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so I have no idea how to do it #I mean I think I need like a check list I need to make a list of traits my characters have in general cuz I never write anything down #it'd be easier to figure it out if I had words to go along with it and then I could figure out the behaviours behind those words #plus I need to draw my characters cuz I'm very much a visual person I can't get as good of a feel without some visuals along with it

[soupacool]

congrats on taking T and experiencing voice changes, that's so exciting!! 🥳🥳✨✨

thank you!!! it's been a period of intense learning of myself and my place in the world and I wouldn't trade it for anything

#fredfinch #soupy post #if you will allow me to ramble further in the tags since I haven't really talked about this very much <333 #it was something I was really not certain about for a very long time. I kind of needed to start it to understand my feelings about it #and now my feelings are 'yay!' and singing joyfully #(singing is amazing. every day my range changes and I sound more like myself. I feel the vibrations in my chest and it feels like home) #I'm very grateful to the circumstances in my life that have allowed me to make my own decisions about my body and experience #I have a trans healthcare provider and I wish I could give that gift to every trans person seeking gender affirming care #they are so wonderful and have gone above and beyond on my behalf #they let me be unsure. they did not push me one bit they made sure I had all the info and answered every question I had #I asked if I could decide if I wanted it on my own at home and they said absolutely. and I obviously decided to move forward #I don't think T is something that I will be on for the rest of my life but right now it absolutely feels like the right thing #I am getting permanent changes that are gender affirming for me and I understand elements of my gender even better #I feel intensely masculine but less like a man than I've ever felt in my life. I feel very connected to my butchness tho #and extremely extremely connected to my voice <3 #anyways thank you again for your message mr fredfinch it put a great big smile on my face