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matryosika · 4 months

Text

Extracurricular

Pairing — Hyunjin x fem!reader Wordcount — 9,281 words Includes — College AU, strangers to something. Shy and inexperienced Hyunjin. Explicit content, smut warnings under the cut. Author's note — This was... a ride. I'm used to writing super filthy smut, but I think this one is pretty soft and wholesome. I enjoyed this idea a lot, and I enjoyed writing it too. I was between Seungmin, Mark and Hyunjin for this one, but I eventually decided to go with Hyunjin because... I don't think I've read a lot about him in this kind of dynamic haha. Also to indulge myself. I hope you guys like it; if you do, please like/reblog and leave an ask or comment! Remember that I own a ko-fi, in case you want to support my work further (link in my post pinned!) Every tip is super helpful to me.

Smut warnings: Kind of perv!Hyunjin if you squint. Hyunjin gets hard during a non-sexual context and reader catches it. Soft dirty talk, handjob, fingering, oral sex (both m. and f. receiving), deepthroating and super soft face fucking, cum eating, multiple orgasms (for both characters). Penetrative sex, unprotected sex (contraceptives are discussed), creampie.

[15:47 p.m.] You: 8, my place.

Hyunjin tilted his head while reading your text, unsure about what he should reply. It wasn’t a question, nor a proposal; it was an order, something he had to accept rather than negotiate.

[15:48 p.m.] Hyunjin: Yeah.

For once, he was glad about being partnered with someone who enjoyed taking the lead. Had it been any other classmate of his, Hyunjin was sure he would’ve been forced to take the initiative.

This time around, though, he wasn’t. But at what cost? The relief of being grouped with someone like you wasn’t as comforting as any other would think. Sure, more than one classmate would’ve done anything to be paired with you, but Hyunjin just couldn’t feel the same.

[15:50 p.m.] You: my apartment is near Namyeong station.

[15:50 p.m.] You: I'll text you the address later, wait.

He spent the following hours waiting for your text, wondering how fate had played such cards on him. Was it a divine punishment? Or a devilish blessing? Hyunjin just couldn’t know.

He stood in front of your apartment door for minutes, debating on whether he should knock right away or wait a little bit longer. The clock on his cellphone screen Hyunjined 8:02, yet he didn’t want to look too desperate to get inside your place, even when he was.

So, Hyunjin opted to wait a few more minutes before knocking on your door. He thought about it as a way to soothe himself, though it was useless —no amount of waiting time could fight the awkwardness of getting to hang around you for a whole evening.

Despite knowing that, he tried his best. He brushed his sweaty palms against the fabric of his sweatpants, fixed his hair, cleared his throat, and rehearsed his greeting.

“Hey,” he whispered to himself. Too sharp. “Hello,” too weird. “Hi,” totally not like him.

“What’s up?,” Hyunjin finally concluded. What’s up? Casual, friendly, and not too uptight —even when that's probably one word he would use to describe himself.

With tons of hesitation, and motivated by the already wasted time, Hyunjin finally knocked on your door. He went for three knocks, one right after the other.

Surprisingly, you answered the door after the second one.

“What were you doing?”

It wasn't that Hyunjin needed to have everything under his control, but he wished to have at least some of it. From the moment you choose your own place for the project meeting, to the blunt question you welcomed him with, Hyunjin felt nothing but uncertainty.

In any other situation, or with any other person, he would've been the one leading the way. He would've been at the comfort of his place, welcoming his guest the way he wished to be welcomed. He would direct the project, choose the idea he liked best, work diligently on it and call it a day.

But he was standing right in front of your apartment door, with his cheeks flushed and a timid grimace that resembled more awkwardness than a friendly smile.

“Huh?” he mumbled, barely audible for you.

“It’s 8:20,” you stepped away from the door and encouraged the brown-haired to come in. “I was waiting for you”.

Were you? Hyunjin lost track of the time that evening. He knew he got to your apartment at around 8, but he wasn’t conscious of the whole twenty minutes he spent getting ready to knock on your door.

“Sorry,” was all he could come up with. “Hi”.

“Hi,” you said back, closing the door right behind you and guiding your shy classmate across the small living room.

He seemed nosy, you could tell; his eyes widened as he discreetly scanned the whole space. There was not much to see though —when it came to room décor, you were more of a minimalist. Still, Hyunjin was curious because it was your place, he wasn’t particularly interested in appreciating the small details but imagining how you spent your afternoons resting there.

“So,” you sat down on the couch and grabbed your laptop from the coffee table, leaving space for Hyunjin to sit next to you. He seemed hesitant at first, debating on whether he should be close to you or not for his own good, but he didn’t want to make things any more awkward than they already were. “Any ideas?”

“Ideas?”

“Mhm,” you nodded, “for the project”.

To be truthfully honest, Hyunjin had plenty of ideas for the final assignment. But as he inhaled your fragrance, he completely forgot about every single one of them.

“I-” he hesitated. Silly enough, he was at the top of his class. In the midst of things, he felt overwhelmed —what if you expected a lot from him? “I guess I haven’t thought much about it”.

“Me neither,” you sighed, throwing your head back and against a cushion. “We have a long night ahead”.

“Wha- do you think we can get it done by tonight?” Hyunjin asked you. Of course, if the both of you worked hard and without any distractions, the final project could’ve been done in under 3 hours. Yet he had hope about another project meeting, luckily at his place.

“Maybe,” you closed your eyes and exhaled deeply.

Hyunjin nodded silently and stared at you for a while, allowing himself to do so only because you had your eyes closed. Besides that time you were late and had to sit right next to him in freshman year, this was as close as Hyunjin had ever been to you.

He didn’t want to come off as a pervert, but it was hard not to stare at you. Of course, he wasn’t going to do it shamelessly —he respected you and the last thing he wanted was for you to think about him as a creep or feel uncomfortable hanging around him, but his own instincts betrayed him.

From the curvature of your lashes to your lips, then your neck, and a little down further, Hyunjin’s eyes fixed on your cleavage. Your clothes only revealed much, but that was perfect, it had him on edge.

“What?” Your voice caught him off guard and he quickly parted his gaze away from you.

“Huh?”

“I can feel you staring at me, Hyunjin,” you scoffed, still with your eyes closed.

“I am not,” he reassured you, shifting his position on the couch.

“Alright,” you sighed. “But I wouldn’t mind if you were”.

“I am not,” Hyunjin repeated and turned to face the small balcony next to him, pretending that the view outside the apartment was a thousand times more fulfilling than the one he had sitting next to him.

“Why do you not like me?” The question came out rather harshly, but far from intimidating him, it only made Hyunjin curious.

Up until that point, he thought it was pretty obvious —he was into you. He didn’t know you that much, but he didn’t need to; his lack of knowledge never stopped him from having wet dreams about you almost every single night.

“Why do you think that?”

You let out a soft scoff, turning to the side to face him. “You didn’t look happy when the professor paired us together”.

Well, that was true, but not for the reasons you thought.

“You seem outgoing with everyone, but you always look tense when I hang around you,” you continued rambling, feeling offended at the reminiscences of every time Hyunjin acted like a jerk around you. “Am I that annoying?”.

You were the farthest thing from annoying, but he couldn’t tell you that. Hyunjin wasn’t good at flirting or being sly around you, so being bluntly honest with you wasn’t an option unless he wanted to sound intense.

“Mh,” there was not much he could say, really. He knew it wasn’t true, but he wasn’t going to try to convince you otherwise. It was best for you to think of him as someone distant and cold rather than a complete dumbass who fantasized about you almost every single day.

“See?” you barked. “You are not denying it”.

“I don't think you are annoying,” Hyunjin murmured, trying hard not to stumble upon his words. “I guess we just don't hang around that much”.

“Mh, is that so?” You tried hard to make eye contact with him, but it was useless. It seemed as if he was avoiding any kind of interaction with you, and that amused you as much as it bothered you. “I know you are lying because you can't even say such a thing while looking at me”.

“I don't think you are annoying,” Hyunjin repeated, tilting his head at you ever so slightly. He wasn't too fond of eye contact, let alone with you.

“Ah, come on,” with a soft groan, you cupped Hyunjin’s cheeks with one of your hands and forced him to look into your direction. “I don't believe you”.

His eyes widened slightly, and the skin underneath your palm started to feel warm with each second that passed.

“What?”

You were staring at him with doe eyes and, for a split second, Hyunjin felt anger at your naiveness. Were you really that oblivious to your own charms? Or did you just enjoy feeling like a predator hunting its prey? Either scenario made him feel pathetic.

If you were that naive, then that would mean that he is nothing more but a pathetic pervert that gets turned on by everything you do. But if you weren't, and instead were fully aware of the power you held over him, that would mean that you were just toying with him.

“I don't find you annoying,” Hyunjin murmured. “If I did, I wouldn't be here”.

“Well you came 20 minutes late and can't even engage in small talk,” you continued bickering, “it seems to me that you don't want to be here”.

At that point, Hyunjin understood you were just doing that to tease him —you were pushing all his buttons trying to get any kind of reaction from him. As far as he was concerned, that was much like you; according to your friends and classmates, you were a complete tease.

Hyunjin loved that about you as much as he hated it.

“I-I don’t know what you want me to say,” he stuttered. Your skin was burning against his, and he prayed for you to not notice the rising tint in his cheeks.

You smiled, still cupping both of his cheeks as if that small gesture wasn’t weird to perform on an almost stranger —still, you could tell he was nervous. “I’m just messing with you, Hwang,” you finally scoffed, letting go of the grip you had on his face.

You didn’t think he hated you, but his behavior was, in fact, odd around you. Hyunjin wasn’t the extroverted type, but you could tell there was a difference between how he engaged with everyone and you.

You weren’t the extroverted type either unless you had to —that night, as he was quiet as usual, you had decided to try and lighten up the mood by teasing him. Perhaps it wasn’t the best way to start a conversation, but you just didn’t know any better.

“So,” you sat down properly on your space, moving away from him as he sensed the loss of your warmth, “project ideas”.

It was impressive how much power you held over Hyunjin and how indifferent he was to you —even he couldn’t begin to comprehend such a thing.

It was such a small, playful action; you had decided to make a suggestive joke, inviting him to look at you. Then, you touched him. Even if it wasn’t anything sexual, his body reacted in such a way —his skin got covered in goosebumps, his heart skipped a beat and the unpleasant pressure between his legs didn’t take long to appear.

That made him feel embarrassed.

He wasn’t as experienced as others, nor had much going on in his sexual life, but there was something shameful in getting turned on that easily by someone he barely knew. Even worse, by someone who wasn’t doing anything to drive him to that place.

And then you changed the subject, so casually and quickly that it made him feel pathetic. You were back to thinking about project ideas and he was still frozen in its place, imagining that your touch was still there, that your gaze was still fixed in his, and that the following events weren’t as they had been.

You had moved from moment to moment so easily, yet he was still pressing the couch cushion against his lap trying for his growing bulge to go unnoticed.

“Hwang?”

“Huh?” Hyunjin blinked a few times before facing you, tilting his head ever so slightly as he tried to bring back anything from what you had said the past 2 minutes. Nothing, he was too busy thinking about how it was a mistake to wear a pair of sweatpants that evening.

You stared at him with furrowed eyebrows, “were you listening?”

He swallowed thickly and interrupted eye contact, turning to face the paper sheets scattered on the coffee table. Your eyes immediately fell down to the striped cushion which he cautiously held against his body, his hand pressing it just enough for his grip to look both rough and gentle at the same time.

“What was it?” Hyunjin shyly asked.

He expected you to start talking again like you had been doing ever since he got there, but you remained silent. Instead, you tilted your head at him, staring shamelessly at the object he seemed to be clinging to.

If there was one thing you were good at and he wasn’t, was bearing silence.

“I was- I kind of got lost in the middle,” he rambled, trying hard to hide his obvious nervousness. “You were saying something about, uh-”.

It seemed as if the only way you could make Hyunjin Hwang talk was by being quiet. The longer you stared at him, the more he talked —or tried to, better said.

“Hyunjin,” you interrupted, offering him the sweetest yet most taunting smile he had ever seen from you.

He was doomed.

By the way your eyes were lingering on the striped cushion and the corners of your lips raised in a mischievous smile, he knew you knew.

And in that split second, where your eyes met his tense body and flustered gaze, everything started to make sense.

“We don't need to have everything done by tonight,” you murmured with a flirting tone he wasn't oblivious to.

Prior to that day, Hyunjin had always stood out to you. It wasn't just his looks or physical appearance, but there was something inviting about him that, even then, you were trying to figure out.

You had a slight crush on him, but that wasn't saying much —every woman you knew had a thing for Hyunjin Hwang. He really wasn't the dating type, nor showed any interest in casual dates, yet you knew a fair amount of girls who would date him in a heartbeat.

But because of how uninterested he was about the women surrounding him, and how awkward he always seemed to get around you, you never thought of him as something more than just a pretty man.

“We should-,” he continued, avoiding your eyes who were practically begging for him to look at you, “discuss the id-”.

“Hyunjin,” you repeated, shifting your position on the couch so your body could face him. “Stop”.

His cheeks were flushed, his bottom lip was caught between his teeth and his gaze was slowly losing its spark. His eyes were no longer bright but dark —still, the characteristic softness of them never faded away.

“Are you okay?”

The question was innocent, but Hyunjin knew it hid something mischievous. Even so, he was hoping to be able to fool you.

“I think I just- need to go to the bathroom,” he murmured shyly, spreading his legs inconspicuously as he tried to fix his issue.

You glared at the striped cushion and then at him, trying to make him understand that you just couldn't be tricked.

“Is that so?” There was a teasing tone in your voice Hyunjin could pick up on well, but he chose to ignore it —instead, he was trying hard to believe his own lie.

But it was almost impossible; from the way your gaze was practically devouring him to the way your arm grazed against his ever so slightly, he just couldn't focus on anything else.

“Y-yes”.

“Right there,” you pointed at one of the doors and smiled when Hyunjin realized what he had put himself through.

In order to get to the bathroom, he would have to stand up from the couch. And by standing up, he would have to leave the striped cushion behind —otherwise it would've looked weird if he decided to walk along your living room while holding a cushion against his crotch.

“What is it?”

Hyunjin felt cornered. And humiliated.

“Think I'll just stay here,” he struggled, looking down at the object on his lap and avoiding your touch.

He was sure that if you were to cup his cheeks one more time or grab his arm in a playful manner, he would come right then in his pants. That's how much power you had over him.

“You are flushed,” just as if you had been reading his thoughts for the past fifteen minutes, you leaned forward to touch his forehead with your palm. “And you are burning, too”.

At that point, Hyunjin felt terrible. His cock twitched inside his pants as he felt your delicate touch on him again, and he was sure that his sweatpants had now a dark, wet patch on them.

All because of you.

“You were just fine when you got here though,” you were toying with him, and he could tell. “I wonder what happened”.

Hyunjin swallowed tickly once he felt your hand on his cheek and jaw, teasing the side of his neck only to return back to its original place at his forehead.

For a split second, he thought about going for it. But what exactly was he going for? His cock was hard in his pants and the whole moment just made him look pathetic. On top of that, he didn't trust you enough. Would you laugh at him and call him a pervert? Or would you like the idea that you can get him hard that easily?

“Come on,” you murmured, grabbing the cushion as soon as he let his guard down. He was too lost into his own thoughts that he only realized you had taken it away when it was already too late.

His hands flew to his crotch, but it was all useless.

The raise of one of your eyebrows let Hyunjin know he had lost a game he didn't even know he was playing in the first place. It seemed as if, from the moment he walked through your apartment door, your only mission was for him to drop that distant facade he thoroughly tried to build around you.

And oh, how you succeeded.

He stared at you for what felt like ages, his body leaning forward as he tried to hide his bulge. The worst part was that, even after being caught, his cock didn't soften, it was all quite the opposite.

“Hm,” you finally hummed, interrupting the awkward silence between the both of you. “I thought you were feeling ill”.

Truth was, he did feel ill. His head was spinning around, he felt dizzy, his heart was racing at a thousand miles per hour and his hands were sweating like never before. At some point, he felt as if he was going to faint.

But even then, when he knew you had caught him red-handed in the middle of possibly one of the most humiliating situations a man can ever be in, you just couldn't stop staring at him.

Your eyes were fixed on the silhouette of his bulge, his sweatpants only leaving much to the imagination. His hand reached out for the striped cushion yet again, establishing a physical barrier between you and what you were dying to see.

“I guess you were right,” you murmured after an awkward silence, still with your gaze placed on that specific spot. “You don't find me annoying”.

It was a subtle, amusing joke to lighten up the mood, but Hyunjin couldn't relax. All he could think of was your eyes analyzing every part of him, from his rosy cheeks to the stained gray sweatpants.

“I should probably- just, you know, I can get the project done on my own. I will just-,” he was rambling, again. It was really a pathetic move, but what else was he supposed to do? He had never felt as embarrassed.

“Do you like me?”

Hyunjin stared at you with both eyes open like plates. There was no point in asking that question, especially not after you caught him with a boner in the middle of just a college project.

“I mean, sexually,” you added.

He thought, wasn't it obvious? His cock always got rock hard whenever you were around. Whenever he jerked himself off, all he could think about was you. Even when he didn't want to, even when he tried to think about anyone but you, you were the only one he could think of as he came.

“I- you know, I'm just-”.

“It's a yes or no question, Hyunjinnie,” you taunted him.

God, how he hated that nickname. It made him feel pathetic, which was not too far from reality.

“No”.

A blatant lie. No matter how hard Hyunjin tried to pretend he didn't feel attracted towards you, his past actions could rat him out anytime. The amount of times he had jerked off to your instagram pictures, the countless occasions he got hard just from seeing you and the embarrassing moments in which your name had slipped from his lips every time he humped his pillow were enough proof that he was into you.

“No?” you asked him, incredulous.

He shook his head. “I- think we should just- focus on the assignment”.

It took Hyunjin all the courage within him to not run away from the scene, lock himself up in his apartment and drop out of college. He did want to run away from your apartment, though, but he couldn't —his whole body was frozen and he could only do as little as move his gaze over the scattered paper sheets in front of him.

“I am just trying to help you here,” you exhaled deeply, clearly upset about facing rejection from such a man.

You weren't expecting him to give in right away —you knew him fairly well, and considering how shy he was, it was pointless to hope for a little bit of initiative. Yet the thing that bothered you the most was how you could tell he wanted to, but kept on denying it and pretending he just wasn't interested.

“And I can't help you if you don't let me”.

Hyunjin fixed his eyes on the small coffee table in front of him, yet his gaze was lost. Everything felt too surreal, like a dream or something pulled out of his wildest fantasies —it was all too good to be true.

“What makes you think I need help?” he gulped while asking that question, as if the answer wasn't obvious. Still, he wanted to know if you two were at least on the same page.

“Mh,” you scoffed, changing your position to end up kneeling on the couch right next to him. “Do I really need to say it?”

Truth is, you didn't. If you did say those words, he would feel too humiliated. It was humiliating enough for him to have you knowing his filthy secret, so Hyunjin just couldn't imagine how overwhelmed he would feel if you were to say anything about the situation.

“You know, it is actually kind of funny,” you taunted. Now that he was sitting right next to you, with his cock hard and his cheeks tinted, Hyunjin’s image was everything but funny.

“I am guessing this is the reason behind you not being able to concentrate on this project,” your hand sneaking all the way to the striped cushion as you took it from his lap —this time around, he didn't stop you. “So I think it's funny”.

He couldn't wrap his head about your choice of words. Funny?

“How come?” he felt less pathetic then. Still as embarrassed, but at least the relief of knowing you didn't think of him as a pervert gave him just the tiniest bit of comfort.

“You are hard and I am wet,” you chuckled, wrapping your hands underneath his left arm. That, combined with the words coming out of your mouth, made Hyunjin’s cock twitch inside his sweatpants. “Had I not seen that, we would have spent hours working on this while being aroused”.

Now, that was too good to be true.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” your hands cupped his face with delicacy, forcing him towards you. “Given the circumstances, we can help each other out, right?”

There was something Hyunjin needed to know first, before agreeing to do whatever it was that you were suggesting. Perhaps it was his ego, or mere curiosity, but he couldn't hold the question back.

“Why were you wet?”

The short, obvious answer was because you were aroused. But you both knew he didn't want to hear that —he was more interested in knowing what caused it.

“Why do you think so?” you scoffed softly, dragging your hand along his arm until it reached his wrist. “You are here, and we are both alone so it was impossible for me not to think about stuff”.

“What kind of stuff?”

For better or for worse, Hyunjin lost his inhibitions slowly. Had you reacted differently than you did, he was sure things wouldn't have been the way they were.

“Too many questions,” you shook your head softly, guiding his wrist between your parted legs. “Why don't you tell me what made you hard?”

He repressed a moan as soon as his digits grazed against your core —even with your underwear and shorts on, he could feel how warm you were.

“You,” he simply responded, fixing his eyes on the way your hand wrapped around his wrist.

“Do I make you hard?”

Hyunjin was just applying a small amount of pressure on you, yet you felt the need to swallow thickly. Your gaze was lost in the veins of his arms and the way his hand got lost between your legs.

“Yes,” Hyunjin sighed, lifting his eyes slightly up until they met your parted lips.

The fabric of his sweatpants outlined the shape of his bulge fine, and it was impossible not to clench at the image. There was a wet, small patch on them, and you were fighting the urges to release his cock and lick the tip of it to taste him.

“Does it happen often?” you softly cooed, tightening the grip on his wrist as his fingers started to touch you over your clothes.

Always, Hyunjin thought, when you’re around and when you’re not.

“I’m just curious,” you continued after a few seconds of silence, “it would be a huge compliment if it does”.

“Would it?” he swallowed thickly, gaze fluttering between your eyes and lips. “Why?”

“You know,” you replied, followed by a sigh, “you ask a lot of questions for someone who hasn’t given a proper response to any of mine”.

Hyunjin couldn’t argue with you on that.

“So,” still with his hand between your parted legs, you switched your position on the couch to be closer to him. “I asked you, does it happen often?”

“Yes,” he didn’t think it through this time and gave you the shortest, most honest answer within him. If that was what you needed to answer all of his questions, then he was going to play along. “Much more than I want to admit”.

“Mh,” you sarcastically pouted, resting your hand on top of his thigh. The sudden contact made him flinch in the slightest, but you found it adorable. “Don’t be shy with me, we’re not that different”.

If he hadn’t been biting his lower lip, he was sure a whimper would’ve escaped his lips as you squeezed his thigh, softly caressing it while you made your way to his crotch.

Luckily for him, he was showing much more self-control than the one he thought he had.

“We’re not?”

“Well, you too have turned me on more times than I can count now,” you murmured with boldness, “Is that weird? We don’t even talk much”.

It isn’t, Hyunjin thought to himself as a series of perverted memories flooded his mind.

Not that he would willingly share them with you. At least not right now.

“But you’re just too pretty,” a sighed escaped your lips while your hand finally wrapped around his bulge, stroking it ever so slightly on top of his clothes, “I can’t help myself”.

Hyunjin kicked his head back, resting it against the back of the sofa. His hand was still between your legs, and your hand was gripping the silhouette of his dick over his sweatpants.

It felt like something pulled out of his wildest fantasies, but he was overthinking it a lot. You were there, admittedly wet, and he was with you, painfully hard —it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, if you will, and he was about to waste it triumphantly.

“‘m sorry,” he squeezed his eyes shut, grimacing like you were hurting him albeit the soft grip you had on him, “I can’t”.

You missed the warmth of his digits against you almost instantly, only to be replaced by his hand wrapping around your wrist. He fully intended to push your touch away —the faster he got your hands off of him, the faster he would forget how they felt.

But his body betrayed him, and he could only do much as squeeze your wrist while you rubbed him off.

“Want me to stop?” You asked him, not knowing if you should continue, or just let the poor man go.

His body was stiff underneath your touch, but you could feel his cock twitching against your palm. It felt deliciously good, you could only fantasize about how much better it would feel inside of you.

“I don’t- I don’t know,” he simply responded, still with his eyes shut and his head kicked back. Hyunjin wanted to engrave the feeling of your hand wrapped around him, just as much as he wished to remember the sound of your breathing and the smell of your fragrance. “Fuck, I don’t know”.

Your eyes gleamed with the pride of coming up with a plan.

“Can I help you make up your mind?”

He blinked a couple of times, his hazy gaze barely focusing on you but your pair of hands that were dangerously close to the waist of his pants.

“You can say no, of course,” you squeezed his thigh softly, and that drew his attention back to your face, the corners of your lips rising into a flirty smile, “but I wouldn't do that if I were you”.

All he offers you in return is a sweet, desperate nod. A short one, at that —he basically tilted his head at his crotch as a way of saying go ahead, but that was all you needed to move on.

You went from sitting right by him, to kneel in the space he had created between his legs.

His eyes were following every move of yours, and refused to abandon your image at any moment —painfully enough, Hyunjin looked so fucking good from this angle of view.

The tip of your digits grazed against the elastic of his sweatpants, lowering them along with his underwear just as little as your plan required. And as soon as your hand wrapped around his erection, Hyunjin swore he was going to die. Or come. Which to Hyunjin’s concern, was exactly the same.

“W-wait, just, shit,” he didn’t wrap his hand around your wrist this time, but the conflict in his voice made you stop right on your tracks even before you got to do anything. “Wait, I’m not- I’m not that experienced, you know?”

“So?” You queried without bothering to hide the fact that the sudden confession perked you up a little.

“I just don’t want to embarrass myself,” Hyunjin exhaled, “which I probably already did, and I'm doing”.

So it really wasn't that he didn't like you enough, or that he didn't want this just as much as you did.

“What’s the worst thing that can happen, anyway?” your hands were still gripping the base of his cock, teasing it against your lips as you spoke.

“That I might come too fast,” he stuttered, eyebrows furrowed with concern. “You're not even doing anything and I can feel my cock throbbing like crazy”.

The filthy choice of words made your heart skip a beat —that, paired with the raspiness and deepness of his tone, only had you wishing he wouldn't shut up at all.

“So?” You repeated again, grinning with mischief. “I don’t mind if you come quick, as long as you can get hard for me again”.

Hyunjin let out a mixture between a moan and a grunt at your words, feeling visibly affected by them.

“If you keep saying stuff like that, I will come,” he inhaled sharply and swallowed thickly at the sight of your smile.

“Just tell me where”.

The small confidence Hyunjin built for himself after voicing out his concerns slowly faded away as soon as your tongue grazed against the tip of his cock —for a moment, he really thought he could hold up pretty well. But the sight of you as you made eye contact with him, while your tongue dragged along the side of his dick, was enough proof that he just couldn't stand a chance against his libido.

“Fuck,” he sighed, catching his lower lip between his teeth ever so slightly, “’m sorry”.

At that, you cocked an eyebrow. “Sorry about what?”

The kitten licks you were giving the tip of his cock didn't make things any easier for Hyunjin —the idea of putting together a whole sentence seemed impossible, and he knew if he were to talk in the middle of it he would just look pathetic.

“I don't mean to be this loud,” his hands were something between gripping the edge of the couch, and resting over his spread thighs; he was too focused on repressing the string of curses and moans that threatened to escape his lips.

“But I want to hear you, Hyunjin,” you purred, stroking his dick against one of your cheeks.

The sight was to die for, quite literally —your lips were glistening with spit, just like your chin and now your cheek. Both of your hands were wrapped around his dick, and you just looked too cute despite the lewd setting you were in.

“I love it when you curse,” you encouraged him, leaving wet kisses along his shaft. “You sound so good, you know?”

The compliments were definitely getting to Hyunjin's head, and you could tell because little by little, he started to leave the awkwardness aside and get really immersed in the moment.

He seemed too afraid of screwing things up, for some reason. You, on the other hand, didn't think he could screw anything up at all —Hyunjin had always turned you by doing the bare minimum, and you wondered if he was well aware of that.

You knew he wasn't, otherwise he would've carried himself with a little more ego and pride than he did.

"But you're a good boy, aren't you?" you continued, gently spitting on his cock to use it as lube. As you jerked him off, Hyunjin's hips instinctively bucked your palm. “You don’t curse, you don’t break rules, you don’t ever get loose…”

“I’m not that- good,” Hyunjin hissed, biting down his lower lip. “I just- fuck".

He kicked his head back when he felt a delicious squeeze of your hands around his balls, interrupting whatever it was that he meant to say.

“Do you like it when I touch you like this?” You asked, based on his reaction.

Again, you squeezed his balls ever so slightly while the tip of your tongue swirls around the head of his cock.

“I fucking love it”.

God, he sounded so good. So good when he cursed, when he moaned and when your name fell from his lips. Sensuality looked good on him, despite him not knowing jack shit about it.

"I swear I've never wanted to taste someone so bad in my entire life," you giggled, letting out a hiss when you felt his hard dick throbbing between your hands, "want you to come in my mouth, I’ll swallow it".

You weren't his first —despite his awkwardness and lack of girlfriend history whatsoever, Hyunjin had a couple of experiences he could trail back to.

But none of them came close to whatever it was that he was feeling right now.

“I’m close,” he warned you, his hands alternating between grabbing your head and your cheeks, “fuck- I’m so fucking close”.

Eagerly, you continued bopping your head up and down his length, jerking off with your hands the part that just couldn't fit in your mouth. Between your strokes and the way you squeezed and caressed his balls, you had Hyunjin coming in no time.

“Shit-” he whimpered, forcing your head down onto his cock until your nose hit his pubic bone.

You weren't expecting him to make you deepthroat his cock, but you tried to take it like a champ nonetheless. All for him and his pleasure.

And honestly, he didn't mean to do that exactly. It was an instinct, something done in the heat of the moment, but he just couldn't deny the fact that he enjoyed maybe a bit too much the sound and feeling of you gagging around his dick.

You had never seen someone looking this hot while coming —his cheeks were flushed, his eyebrows furrowed, his teeth were chewing at his bottom lip and his whole body was shaking and grinding ever so slightly against your mouth, hips raised against the couch while he chased his high.

It was a long high —he came so much down your throat, it eventually spilled out from the corners of your lips onto the length and base of his cock.

Messy, but neither of you could begin to care.

“God,” Hyunjin exhaled, his whole body relaxing onto the couch after all the tension he had been carrying ever since got to your apartment.

He let go of your face and you continued jerking him off with his own cum for a couple of seconds as your movements died down.

“Did you- did you swallow it?”

Rather than giving him a response, you just stuck out your tongue —empty, clean, with just a small amount of him still in you. He tasted just like you imagined, and that did nothing more than to turn you on.

“I told you,” you smiled, “I wanted to taste you”.

Hyunjin looked at you for a couple of seconds, blinking perplexed. His heart was still going at a thousand miles per hour, his head was spinning around your apartment and his cock was still as rock hard, despite having come just minutes ago.

And, impulsively, he leaned down to kiss you.

You were still on your knees between his legs, but he cupped your cheeks and practically forced you onto his lips. It was sloppy, and fast, but at the same time it was far from unpleasant. The feeling of his tongue against yours, tasting himself off of you, was enough to elicit a moan from the two of you.

From one moment to another you were no longer kneeling between his legs, but laying down on the couch with your back against a soft cushion. Hyunjin was between kneeling and sitting right on top of you, with his hands on either side of your body.

“I want to taste you too,” he panted in between kisses, leaving a wet trail of them from your lips to your jaw, “want to make you feel real good, just like you did to me”.

You were dying to fuck him, but you weren't going to reject it. More than one night you snuck your hand between your panties wishing it was Hyunjin's face and tongue, so you trembled in excitement at knowing that one of your fantasies was about to become true.

Or a couple of them.

“Please,” yours and Hyunjin’s hands lost no time in struggling you out of your bottoms, leaving them out of your rear of view.

Embarrassingly for you, but luckily to Hyunjin, the fabric and color of your underwear did absolutely nothing to hide your wetness —stripping you out of it was a delight to him, who could catch a glimpse of your arousal sticking to your panties.

Carefully, he positioned himself somewhat flat against the couch with his face between your legs. Your back was slightly straight against the couch's arm rest, and your knees softly bent with your feet against the faux leather of it, so he hooked one of his hands under your thigh while the other caressed the side of your body.

“You’re so pretty,” Hyunjin whispered under his breath leaving a couple of shy kisses along your inner thighs. The slight contact of his breathing against your hot cunt made your back arched. “Pretty face, pretty pussy”.

“Do you think I’m pretty?”

His half-lidded eyes looked up to you, “I've always thought you were the prettiest”.

He started off really slow, getting to know your body. You were desperate for more, for something messy and rough, but you allowed him to take his time. Even more so because it seemed though as if he was gaining confidence as he explored you, and you loved to see it.

“So good,” he groaned against your slit, “could eat you out for hours”.

You wouldn't mind. He just looked too good buried in the heat between your legs, and his wet tongue felt heavenly against your clit and folds.

After some time, his fingers came into the mix as well. Two digits stretching your cunt open, cautiously, while he kept on licking and sucking your clit.

“Right there Hyunjin,” you arched your back, gasping when his digits brushed against that spot. “Fuck, you just- shit, right there feels so fucking good”.

Seeing you like that, gasping and writhing underneath him, contributed a little to his ego.

“Is it good?”

“Fucking perfect,” you cursed, rolling your hips against him, “can’t wait to feel your cock”.

Hyunjin knew that things were eventually leading up to sex, but it didn't feel real until you named it. Until you told him you wanted to feel him inside you, until you implied that it was only a matter of minutes before he got to enact his fantasies with you.

His hips grinded against the couch, too, as he ate you out.

Needy to feel your warmth, desperate to give you all of his cum again.

“I want you to come first like this,” Hyunjin murmured, with his fingers buried in your pussy and his nose brushing ever so slightly against your swollen clit, “with my mouth and fingers. Then, I will make you come with my cock”.

You moaned at his words.

“It’s a promise?”

“It’s a promise”.

You kicked your head back against the couch’s arm rest, and arched your back when you felt the tension threatening to unravel down your lower abdomen.

His tongue was moving deliciously where you needed it, and his fingers never lost its pace and rhythm inside you.

“Hyunjin,” you chanted, latching your fingers onto his dark hair, “don’t stop”.

Not that he was planning to.

“Are you going to come?”

“Yes,” you nod frantically, moving your hips as much as his grip allowed you to. “So close Hyunjin, I’m so close”.

Heavenly.

His name falling from your lips felt right, just like it did your mouth around his cock and his tongue flat against your clit. You felt right, much more better than whatever he had been imagining the past years while masturbating on his own.

“Like that,” Hyunjin hissed, watching in awe the way your pussy and ass clenched at your orgasm. But as much as he wanted to enjoy the view, he also wanted to feel you getting wetter and wetter as you came, so he quickly returned to latch his mouth on your pussy and his eyes on you.

“Shit!” your hips were bucking against his face frantically, almost aggressively. But he didn't stop, and elongated your high as much as he possibly could, “Can’t stop- fuck, can’t stop coming”.

It felt like a never ending orgasm, one prompted by Hyunjin's lustful gaze —the more eye contact you made, the more aroused you felt.

“More, more Hyunjin,” you sounded desperate, and that made his dickthrob against the couch. He wanted to make you come again, and again, and until you no could no longer take it.

But he would be lying if he said he wasn't impatient for fucking you.

“I’ll give you more,” he murmured, withdrawing from your body when you finally came down from your high. “But just- want to give it to you with my cock”.

Whenever you thought about sex with Hyunjin, you always pictured yourself being on top. Maybe it was because of his shyness, or because you felt like you needed to take the initiative, but you almost always came at the thought of you bouncing up and down his dick.

Much to your surprise, he didn't lose time before positioning his body between your spread legs, not before removing his shirt and doing the same with yours as well.

He was going to fuck you in missionary, you figured. And you almost came at the realization of it.

Most men these days all they want is to get their dicks wet with minimal to no effort —Hyunjin was trying hard to please you, and that was alone much more satisfactory than any other experienced you had so far.

“I want to see your face when I'm fucking you," it was almost like he read your thoughts. Not that you had any complains, but quick fucks never cared for the intimacy sex entailed.

Hyunjin was different.

“Definitely not my best look,” you swallowed, thinking about your ruined make up and post-orgasm fucked out face.

“I could come just by looking at you,” he confessed, eyes falling to your spread legs. “I swear”.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, and pumped his dick a few times before realizing that he was missing something.

“You uh-” he felt embarrassed, but he honestly didn’t think he would get to fuck you, out of all the people. He came to your apartment to work on a school project, not to get laid. “I don’t have a condom”.

“Want to do it raw?”

He gulped.

Of course he wanted to. Using a condom was never part of his fantasies —shit, almost all his fantasies ended up with him filling you up, despite how risky that was.

“I honestly want to, but I’d understand if you-”.

“Are you-”

“I’m on the pill,” you reassured him, “and I’m clean. I want you to fuck me raw if that’s what you want too”.

“I do,” Hyunjin sighed, licking his lips at the thought of getting to really feel you. “Fuck, I do”.

And despite the logical, rational part of him that insisted it probably wasn't the brightest idea ever, Hyunjin guided the tip of his cock against your clit. The sudden stimulation made your body jolt, but he didn't stay there for too long.

His cock slid easily right inside, and the way your walls clenched around him as they got used to his size almost makes Hyunjin come.

“Finally,” you exhaled, closing your eyes while he bottomed out slowly.

Hyunjin groaned quietly, softly pressing your hips against his.

“You’re so tight,” he gritted his teeth, “squeezing me just right”.

He hovered you, leaning down to kiss you yet again. He wasn't moving, just fully enjoying the way you felt wrapped around him.

He didn't know if he was going to have another chance to experience this, so he intended to memorize everything —from the way your tongue tasted, to the way your pussy clenched on him.

Only this time, the kiss wasn't as sloppy; it was intense, deep and it left you breathless. He kissed you ardently, brushing his tongue against yours, biting down your lower lip and pulling it ever so slightly.

“I’m going to-” he sighed in between kisses, “are you- alright?”

“Yes,” you wrapped your arms around his neck, and your legs around his hips, “fuck me already, Hyunjin”.

Slowly but surely, he started acquiring a pace of his own. And fuck, it felt delicious.

His pubic bone slammed against your clit, providing some stimulation; his cock reached the deepest spots inside you, and his mouth worked wonders on your neck and chest.

It was unfair how perfect he was —so good at everything.

“Harder,” your hands reached out to cup his face, pressing your forehead against his. “Fuck me harder, please”.

He understood what you wanted.

Hyunjin didn't necessarily fucked you faster after you plea, no. He smacked his hips against yours roughly, going impossibly deeper into you. His pace was slow, but each thrust made you moan and gasp every time.

“There you go,” he murmured in a quiet, drowned groan.

You hid your face on the crook of his neck, sucking on his flesh meaning to leave red and purple blossoms all over it. For some reason, the idea of seeing him the next day at college campus and peeking to see the marks you left on him kind of excited you.

It was also going to remind you that this was real, and that it happened.

“Right there, Hyunjin,” you enjoyed the feeling of him ruthlessly pounding into you. He was sweet, gentle, and caring, but his movements weren't. He appeared to be someone innocent, but he wasn’t —at least not when he was fucking you good like he this.

“Feeling good?”

“Perfect,” you replied, “you’re so- hard inside me, you feel perfect”.

The harshness of his thrusts suddenly died down as he regained his pace; they become hotter, more sensual.

His eyes went from looking at you, to closing shut at times. He licked his lower lip constantly, alternating between chewing on it softly, too.

When Hyunjin wasn't too focused on his overwhelming pleasure, he was focused on your body.

How it reacted, how sensitive it was, what things you liked. He kissed your chest and sucked on your hardened nipples, and he soon understood you loved it —at least judged by the way you clenched around his dick.

He also realized he liked the feeling of your fingers latched onto his hair —he enjoyed when you pulled it a bit too roughly, and he didn't mind the pain of it.

“Can you come with me?” Hyunjin asked in between grunts. “I’m close- but I want you to come with me, come at the same time”.

“I’m close too,” you sneaked a hand between your bodies, rubbing your clit lazily. “Want to come with you, and feel you coming inside me”.

It suddenly became much more intimate than you initially intended to —his eyes were glued to yours, saying way more than his words could ever do. You could see the lust, affection, and even perversion in his gaze; the longing of always staring from afar, but now getting to have you underneath him with your legs spread and your pussy around him.

It didn't take you any long to reach that sweet release you both had been chasing ever since he stepped a foot into your apartment.

“I’m coming,” you gasped, digging your nails onto the flesh of his shoulders and back, “come”.

Hyunjin pressed his forehead against yours, and when he felt your walls clenching, he immediately released too.

He didn’t want to think about his cum filling you up, nor the image of his arousal oozing out of your pretty pusy. He didn’t want to think too much about what you just let him do, and he didn’t want to think about the risk of it although it kind of turned him on.

A loud moan escaped his lips when he thrusted his cock harder into you, reaching yet another deep spot inside your walls. With each slam of his hips, he shot his orgasm painting you white from the inside.

A warm, eerie feeling you hadn't experience before, because you just refused to fuck anyone raw.

But Hyunjin isn't just anyone.

“God,” he gulped loudly, panting and out of breath.

You could feel his cum dripping out of you, despite his dick still filling you up, and you just couldn't believe how much he came twice in a row.

“Was it good?” your voice sounded exactly the same, hoarse and strained. You could barely breathe, but you didn’t care —he collapsed on top of you carefully, without wanting to hurt you, and you both tried to stabilize your breathing together.

“Better than my imagination, that’s for sure”.

You kissed his cheek and enjoyed the intimacy, wondering if the shy, awkward Hyunjin was going to make an appearance any time soon. In very little time you got to see a whole new side of him, just as shy but a lot less shallow than what you “knew” about him prior to that day, and you were still not ready to find out how things were going to be after this.

“I should probably- get something to clean you up,” you only realized how messy a creampie is when Hyunjin pulled out, making his cum to drip out of you and onto the couch.

But you came up with a better plan.

“What if we take a shower?”

He looked at you, but soon diverted his gaze to the pile of unfinished work you had.

“Come on, don’t get shy on me,” you pouted, sitting carefully on the couch right next to him. “I’m not getting shy it’s just-”, he makes a long pause and smiles to himself. A very faint, almost imperceptible grimace, but you caught on it, “I don’t think I can be naked around you without ending up fucking you again”.

“Sounds like a win to me”.

“I expected much more from the two of you,” Mr. Jung handed you the final essay you allegedly worked so hard on. Judged by the stern tone of his voice, and the deep exhalation your project partner let out, you can only assume it was a bad grade. “Not the greatest work you’ve had delivered”.

Your gaze fell down in embarrassment, and Hyunjin cleared his throat, “we’re sorry. With the end of the semester we kind of- got distracted”.

And if by distracted you mean fucking like animals at every chance you were alone, whether in a private or a public setting, then yes.You got so fucking distracted.

#stray kids smut #skz smut #kpop smut #hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin smut

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kiss-me-cill-me · 4 months

Text

Follow Me Down

Pairing: Robert Fischer x Reader

Word Count: 5.3k

Summary: Dealing with Robert's advances feels like a full time job in itself. When he finally pushes you past your breaking point at a company party, you decide that it's time to teach him a lesson.

Warnings: Smut, hate sex, semi-public sex, mean reader, pushy/bratty Robert, kind of switch!Robert, S&M themes, oral (f receiving), face sitting, high heel kink, spit kink, choking, non-consensual creampie, name calling (including one use of "bitch"), workplace harassment, degradation, misogyny, mentions of drinking/alcohol, reader insults Robert by suggesting that he would spike her drink (but it does not actually happen)

A/N: Are New Year's Eve fics a thing? If not, they should be haha. I love New Year's Eve, so as a little early present, please enjoy this piece of absolute filth. Title was inspired by George Taylor's song Come Follow Me Down, which I listened to on repeat while writing the smut portion of this. Thank you for reading, and I'm wishing you all a great start to 2024!

***Please read the warnings before continuing. Minors DNI***

Robert Fischer was the kind of man who had everything handed to him in life, and it showed. He was petulant, unserious, and thoughtless. Or at least, mostly thoughtless; he did possess the very annoying ability to badger the living hell out of someone in order to get what he wanted. And tonight, as was so unfortunately often the case, the focus of his one-track mind was you.

He was trailing after you now, either oblivious to or willfully ignorant of the look of annoyance plastered over your face as you tried to lose him. He barely had to hurry to keep up.

“Don’t be shy asking for my help with closing that big merger if you need it,” he told you.

You grimaced. You knew how to do your job.

“Robert, let’s not talk about work while we’re off the clock,” you said shortly, trying to make your voice as sweet as possible so that he wouldn’t have an excuse to comment on your tone.

You were at the company’s New Year’s Eve party. Ostensibly, this was the last of (too many) excuses littered throughout the year for the big wig executives to drink expensive booze and make fools of themselves on the company dime. And, annoyingly, it was also yet another opportunity for Fischer to try and sleep with you.

“Okay. Let me get you a drink then,” he offered.

You decided you were done being sweet. You stopped and turned on your heel to face him.

“I wouldn’t leave you alone with my drink for two seconds, much less accept one you’d gotten your grubby little mitts on,” you hissed.

Robert made no indication that he understood what you were insinuating. Instead, he rested a hand on your waist, tugging you just a bit closer to him.

“Then I’ll escort you to the bar,” he said. “And I’ll even keep my hands on you, so you’ll know that I haven’t touched your drink.”

He was disgusting.

“Why don’t you escort yourself?” you shot back, shaking out of his grip.

You were abstaining from drinks tonight, wanting to keep your wits about you just in case Robert tried to get too handsy. Or, handsier than he usually was. This was a fairly frequent occurrence, and although you were used to it, it still pissed you off. Robert was nothing you couldn’t handle, but the arrogant rich boy attitude got old quick. It annoyed you that you couldn’t say anything without risking the job you had worked so hard for. Unlike him, you hadn’t been born into a world that put you automatically on a pedestal. On the contrary, it often felt like people were trying to kick you off the ledge.

Robert was walking behind you again, thankfully keeping his hands to himself even as he hovered at your heels, and you walked deeper into the party. All around you, drunken coworkers reveled and laughed. There was only about one hour left in the year, and by god the company was going to spend it drinking enough champagne to kill an elephant.

“Come on,” Robert called behind you, still trailing. “Don’t you know how to take a joke?”

You ignored him, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a response. As you wove your way through the crowd, one of the higher-ups signaled to you.

You jumped at the opportunity, hoping that Robert would at least have the common decency to leave you be while you were talking to a man who was essentially your boss. But of course, rules and manners didn’t apply to Robert Fischer like they would to anyone else. As you talked with the executive about mergers and acquisitions, Robert stood directly behind you. Practically breathing down your neck. You had to bite your tongue when he placed a hand on the small of your back again. What the hell did he think he was doing?

After a few minutes, the higher-up - slightly intoxicated - excused himself and wandered off, leaving you alone again with the man who was quickly becoming the bane of your existence.

“Robert-” you started to bark.

“God, you’re sexy when you talk business,” Robert interrupted.

You were facing him again, his arm still wrapped around you possessively. You caught a whiff of bourbon on his breath. He certainly wasn’t drunk, but the alcohol had clearly loosened his tongue. Usually he wasn’t this forward. You frowned.

“And you’re an unprofessional prick.”

Your outburst almost seemed to shock you more than it did Robert. His expression never faltered, except to allow a small smirk to spread across his lips.

“Sweetheart, don’t flatter me like that,” he teased. “A pretty girl like you could give a guy like me ideas.”

He raised his eyebrows at you as he said “ideas,” lowering his voice a bit. You got the message.

“I’m sorry if I was unclear,” you said, trying not to speak through clenched teeth. “But the only idea I want to give you is to leave me the hell alone.”

Robert put his hands up, pretending to look wounded. Or maybe he was going for shocked. As if you hadn’t made it abundantly clear already just how uninterested you were. He took a step back, to your relief.

“Okay, I can see you need some time to cool off,” he relented. Finally, you were getting somewhere. “But can you really blame me for getting mixed signals?”

You had no idea what Robert was talking about, until he started pointing above him. Your eyes trailed up, and you saw for the first time a little sprig of mistletoe, hanging in the hallway. A leftover from the company’s Christmas decorations. Of all the places you could have been standing… When you looked back at Robert, your mouth was a thin line.

“What are you, twelve?” you asked.

He just smiled.

“Christmas is over, Robert,” you said coldly.

As you started to walk away, he called after you.

“Can’t blame a guy for trying!”

Fischer was right about one thing - you did need some time to cool off. Being around him made your skin crawl. It made you feel like you needed a shower and a guzzle of holy water, just to exorcize any lingering traces of him from your system. A gin and tonic would probably have at least some of the same effects. And you were craving one, but you reminded yourself that you needed to stay sharp. Robert had left you alone for now, but it was only a matter of time before he would be back. You settled for just the tonic.

Rubbing your head as you walked through the party, horribly bitter drink in hand, you wondered why you had even bothered to come. So much of what you did was for the sake of appearances. Anything to claw your way ahead. Though of course, even you had limits. Sleeping with Fischer would, ironically, probably end in a boon to your career. But you definitely weren’t about to let yourself sink to that level.

You looked down at your gin-less tonic, twist of lime bobbing lazily in the bubbles. Why were you even drinking this? It certainly wasn’t for the taste. You dumped the rest of your drink in a potted plant, and set the empty glass down on a table.

This party was a total drag. But, you figured, at least you wouldn’t have to go far to find a little solitude. One of the benefits of working for an insanely wealthy company like Fischer Morrow was that even mid-level employees like you got extravagant offices. Your high heels clicked against the tile as you strode off, eager to leave the maddening din - and Robert Fischer - behind.

You reached your office door, and instantly knew that something was off. Behind the frosted windows, you could tell that the lights were on. The party was on the floor below yours; there should have been nobody up here, much less in your private office. Maybe it was just one of the cleaners, working late. Well, no problem. They would be easy enough to get rid of, and then you could regroup and prepare yourself for the remainder of a night full of fending off Robert’s advances. You pushed open the door.

Really, you should have seen this coming. Of course it wasn’t going to be this easy to get rid of him.

“Robert,” you sighed. You took in the sight of him, sitting in your swivel chair and looking very pleased with himself. “Do I really have to ask you to get out of my office?”

“Not if you don’t want me to,” he taunted, effortlessly throwing your own words back at you. He winked, and you narrowed your eyes.

You walked over to your desk, large and shiny with a stained walnut finish. It was an expensive piece of furniture, and one that Robert somehow managed to look right at home sitting behind. As if he owned the place. Which was closer to the truth than you particularly liked to think about.

“Why do you enjoy doing this?” you asked, not expecting a real answer.

“I just like getting a rise out of you,” Robert said.

It sounded strangely honest. You leaned over your desk, staring down at him. Trying to size him up.

“You’re very mean when you want to be,” Robert continued, almost observationally.

You weren’t sure where he was going with this. Sure, you could be mean. It was part of the reason why you’d achieved the position you were in now; you didn’t advance in business by being a pushover.

Robert, you noticed, was currently staring down the front of your dress. You scrambled to stand up, and crossed your arms over your chest. The little pervert wasn’t even trying to hide it. You circled the desk, coming to rest on the side where Robert still sat, watching you calmly. You silently willed him to get out of your chair; to leave your office and give you twenty seconds of peace. He didn’t, of course, and so you took a seat on the desk, crossing your legs and tapping one foot in the air.

“So, what? Do you get off on me being mean to you or something?” you pressed.

Robert shrugged, neither confirming nor denying. For some reason, that infuriated you even more. You hated his smug face; that little smirk he was wearing right now that meant he was getting what he wanted. You had the sudden urge to slap him. Maybe that would teach him a lesson.

“And what about you?” Robert asked. “What do you get out of this?”

“Me?!” You were incredulous. “Christ. What could I possibly be getting out of putting up with you constantly bothering me?”

Robert shrugged again, and your desire to slap him grew.

“Maybe you get off on it too,” he guessed. “Being mean, that is.”

“You think I get off on doing this?” you scoffed. “Do you ever think about anything besides sex?”

“You’re the one who brought up getting off; not me.”

You were really going to lose it. You could barely see Fischer sitting in front of you now for all of the angry red that was swirling through your vision. He thought he could walk in here, sit at your desk, and then tell you you got off on being mean to him? He didn’t know how mean you could be.

“What’s your end goal with all this, Robert? You really think you’re gonna get to live out whatever twisted fantasy you’ve made me a part of in that sick little head of yours?”

“Maybe,” Robert said nonchalantly. You could feel him undressing you with his eyes.

“Yeah? What are you hoping to do to me?” you prodded. You didn’t care what you were saying anymore; you were way past the point of professionalism. “Probably tie me up and watch me try to fight you off, right?”

Robert looked up at you very calmly, holding your angry gaze as he answered you.

“I’d rather have you step on me with those heels,” he said.

You were taken aback.

“Excuse me?”

“I said: I want you to step on me with those slutty little stilettos you keep waving in my face,” he repeated.

You froze. One foot was braced against the drawers of your desk, and the other was poised in the air, hovering just in front of Robert’s knee as he sat in your chair.

“What’s the matter?” Robert asked. “I warned you you’d give a guy like me ideas, didn’t I?”

Part of you was in shock. This was not how you had expected this interaction to go. But another part of you - a corner of your mind that you didn’t even want to acknowledge - really was turned on by the idea of putting him in his place. You grinned.

“What makes you think I’d do that for you?” you hummed, mocking him.

Before he had a chance to respond, you lifted your foot and pressed the sharp point of your heel against the fleshy part of Robert’s shoulder. His expensive suit jacket started to crease. You pushed your heel in a little more, pushing him back just an inch.

Robert’s eyes started to wander, trying to sneak a look under your dress as you sat in front of him, your leg lifted up to press into his shoulder.

“You’re a pig,” you told him, shifting your foot so that it was in the middle of his chest.

The new angle made it a little harder for him to get a peek, with your legs more pressed together. Robert’s eyes drifted back to your face, a look of restrained amusement dancing across his own features. He was trying to play it cool, but you noticed the way his fingers dug into the chair’s leather armrests.

“Just another pretty boy in a suit,” you continued, inching the toe of your shoe up toward his collar.

The point of your heel was right over his sternum, and Robert started to smile. He really was enjoying this, and the realization both repulsed and aroused you.

“Think you can take whatever you want. You need to be put in your place.”

You pushed back with your foot, making Robert’s chair roll a few inches so that you had space to stand up between him and the desk. You planted one foot on the floor, and the other directly over his crotch, pressing in with the dull toe of your shoe. The point of your heel rested on the chair in front of him, between his slightly parted legs. You weren’t trying to impale the poor man, but the devious look that Robert fixed on you as you towered over him almost made it look like he would have preferred if you did.

“Told you y’get off on being mean,” he teased.

You grabbed hold of his tie and pulled his face closer to yours as you looked down at him.

“Robert, if you think this is what a woman looks like when she gets off, I have some very bad news for you. Why don’t you show me what that pretty mouth is good for?”

You pushed away from him, climbing back up on the desk and spreading your legs. The tight black dress you wore rode up your thighs, and Robert instantly dropped to his knees in front of you. He hooked a finger into the crotch of your panties, using it to drag them to the side until you were on display for him.

“You can deny all you want,” he mocked, “but you wouldn’t be this wet if you really didn’t enjoy it.”

“Jesus. Stop talking,” you ordered.

You shoved his face between your legs, and his tongue eagerly came out to lick at you. You were wet - there really wasn’t any denying it - but you didn’t need him pointing out that fact as if he weren’t the one desperately lapping at your cunt. Robert was the pathetic one here; you were really just going along with things to teach him a lesson. If he wanted you to walk all over him, you would make sure he regretted ever crossing paths with you. And if you happened to get off while doing it - well, you'd just chalk that down as some much-needed stress relief. Dealing with Robert was exhausting.

You hooked your legs over his arms, pinning him in place as he balanced himself against the desk. As much as you hated to admit it, he was good at this. Very good. His tongue was lavishing you; his blue eyes never breaking contact with yours as he ate you out. The way he was looking up at you felt dirty and yet dangerously addicting, all at the same time. Your hand tangled in his hair, pulling him even closer as your breath hissed through your teeth. Abruptly, you pulled him away.

“Get on the desk,” you commanded, a little out of breath.

Robert stood up, wiped his smug face, and started to climb up onto the desk.

“On your back.”

He laid down, swinging his feet up so that he was fully spread out across the hard surface. You reached up under your dress to remove your panties. Having him hold them to the side was only getting in the way.

You carefully got up on the desk with him, knees resting on either side of his face.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” you scoffed, half for your own benefit.

“Think of it this way,” Robert smirked beneath you. “Isn’t it gonna make you happy to wipe this smile off my face?”

“I thought I told you to shut up.”

You sat down, putting almost your full weight on his face. Robert reached up to grab hold of your thighs, supporting you, and you were actually grateful for it even though it gave him an opportunity to grope at your ass. Your legs were getting weaker every second, and you could feel yourself tipping over the edge.

Part of the thrill was from being in such a compromising position. Before, if someone had walked in, there was a chance that Robert could stand up and you would be able to smooth down your dress in time to avoid getting caught. But now… well, riding a man’s face as he was splayed out on the desk beneath you was a little harder to recover from, logistically.

You ground your hips down, so tantalizingly close to coating his face in your release. Robert seemed to sense your urgency, and dug his fingers into your flesh, practically begging for it. His tongue dragged roughly across your clit, sucking with just the right pressure.

Your mouth hung open as you came, at first frozen in a silent scream and then moaning, sinfully, as an orgasm rolled over you. You seemed to shake from your shoulders down into your knees, and Robert’s tongue lapped up all of your arousal. He pressed his lips to your clit one final time as you slid off of him.

When your hips were straddling his, Robert sat up to hold you. His hands were hungry, grabbing at your waist as he tried to pull you closer and into a kiss.

“No kissing,” you choked out, putting a hand on his chest to stop him.

Robert didn't try to push past you, just paused and looked up at you with light, teasing eyes.

“Come on, sweetheart. It's New Year's Eve. You're not gonna give me a kiss at midnight?”

You swallowed, not trusting your shaky voice to respond without giving him more fuel to taunt you with. He didn't need it.

“Even after you already let me wrap my lips around your pretty cunt?”

Your hand on his chest pressed down, pushing him back onto the hard wood. Robert smiled again, proud of himself for getting to you. He really did know how to wind you up.

“You’re such a typical rich boy,” you spat. “So used to getting anything you ask for.”

“Usually I don’t even have to ask,” Robert corrected.

“Right. Other women just throw themselves at you?” You felt your hatred flare.

He gave you that knowing look again, but kept his smirking mouth shut. You noticed the way your arousal still glistened against his lips. The whole lower half of his face, actually, was drenched, and the sight of it sent a pang of renewed desire all through you.

Suddenly, Robert’s grip tightened at your waist. He bunched up the fabric of your dress, exposing you a little more, and forced you down onto his leg.

“Use me to get yourself off.”

Already impatient, his hands had started to pull at your hips, making you rock back and forth. The cloth of his suit pants brushed roughly against your exposed clit, still sensitive from his earlier treatment. But still, it felt good. Too good.

“Robert-”

You had opened your mouth to protest, but he cut you off.

“Mm, say my name, baby.”

He was so full of himself. Something snapped in you, and your hand flew up to his neck. As your grip tightened, Robert only threw his head back.

“Honestly, do you ever shut up?” you spat.

Despite yourself, your hips started to stutter against him, desperate to rub harder as the pressure started to build in you again. For whatever reason, you found yourself going along with Robert’s demands once more. Your hand on his neck squeezed.

“You really do get everything you want,” you hissed, teeth clenching against the ache that was rapidly growing between your legs.

“Not true,” Robert choked out beneath you. His voice was straining from your grip, but you could still hear the hint of satisfaction. “I haven’t gotten to stick it in you yet.”

Your walls clenched around nothing, and you hated how his words could affect you. You angrily took it out on him, pressing the hand on his neck down even harder. Robert hissed out through his teeth, then dissolved into a rough cry of pleasure.

“Fuck," you gasped.

Your grip loosened, suddenly, as a wave of ecstasy came crashing over you for the second time. It was unexpected and fast, taking you by such surprise that you fell forward on the desk a little, caging Robert’s face with your arms. Your stomach churned with embarrassment as the feeling faded, and you realized that just the sound of his voice had been enough to push you over the edge.

You looked down, and saw Robert’s eyes full of mirth. His face was flushed, blood rushing back now that your hand was off him. A few strands of hair stood out of place against his forehead. Honestly, he was a mess; clothes all wrinkled and normally-neat red tie knocked askew. You could feel yourself dripping. His very expensive suit pants were probably ruined. Although, that was really his problem.

“Tell me again how you don’t get off on being mean?” Robert rasped below you.

You were panting, and clearly in no position to answer him. But even if you had been able to speak, you certainly weren’t about to tell him that it had been his animalistic moan that really made you come. Robert started to sit up a little, keeping one arm around your waist.

“You hate me so much.” Robert’s voice was still slightly hoarse, but there was that tone of amusement, as usual.

“Poor little rich boy.”

It was all you could think to say, still trying to recover from two orgasms back to back. Robert gave you a look that was almost pitying.

“When are you gonna admit that you’re just jealous?” Robert purred.

You gave him a look of disgust, hoping your scowl would communicate everything that you couldn’t verbalize. Your head was still reeling, dizzy from the rush.

“You think you’re better than everyone else just because you have to scramble to get ahead? Please. You wish you had it as easy as me.” Robert’s hands came up to grasp at your wrists, holding you in place as he brought his lips close to yours. “But lucky for me, you’re not above sleeping your way to the top.”

Is that really what he thought this was? No. That wasn’t the reason for this. Inch by inch, Robert was bringing his lips closer to you. This bastard, thinking he understood you. Infuriated, you did the only thing you could think to do, and spit on him.

He stopped, but didn’t look particularly surprised. The trail of spit started to drip down his face, mixing on his cheek with the leftover sheen of your arousal. Calmly, Robert brought a hand up to his face and wiped off the efforts of your rebellion.

“I knew there was a reason I liked you, sweetheart.”

In the next instant, Robert’s hands were at his belt, nimble fingers working the buckle. You noticed for the first time how painfully stretched his pants were. He had to be in agony. But, you thought bitterly, that was probably exactly how he wanted it.

“Here - why don’t you spit on my cock?” he goaded, pulling himself out of his briefs.

Your eyes blew wide at the sight of him. That certainly explained the amount of confidence he had. You struggled to shoot back a response.

“In your dreams,” you muttered.

“Don’t be like that,” Robert chided, pouting a little bit.

As much as he liked to act, you could tell that he wasn’t really hurt. Someone as arrogant as Robert Fischer could never be truly bothered by anything. This was merely an inconvenience. He pinched your cheeks between his rough fingers, forcing you to look down at his dick with your mouth open. A long, wet rope of saliva fell from your lips.

“There, was that so hard?”

Robert’s pinching hand left your face as he brought it down to rub at his length, hastily working your spit over himself.

“This is for your benefit anyway,” he winked. “Don’t want it to hurt you too much.”

You watched, almost mesmerized, as he pumped himself a few more times. Satisfied, he stood up, taking you with him. Standing in your heels, you were almost as tall as him, and he looked directly into your eyes.

“Now, do you want me to fuck you over the desk, or up against the wall?”

You almost couldn’t believe his audacity. You glared at him, a heavy, electrical silence hanging between you.

“Tick-tock, sweetheart.”

“Go to hell, Robert,” you answered.

“Well, then I guess we’re doing what I want.” He smiled. “How ironic.”

He lifted you up in one swift motion, and then your back was against the wall. The head of his cock was pressing into you, and the stretch was almost painful.

“So fuckin’ tight,” he hissed. “Just what I would expect from a stuck-up little bitch.”

His words stung, but not as much as the snap of his hips as he thrust into you, forcing a little whine out of your lips. You grit your teeth, trying to muffle your reaction.

“You squeeze me so good when you’re angry,” Robert laughed. “Fuck.”

His hands were digging into you, holding you up as he pulled out and then pressed greedily back in. Your head pushed back against the wall, overwhelmed by his size.

“What’s wrong, baby? Too much for you?” he teased.

“You- wish-”

Your words cut off as Robert fucked sharply into you again, then paused. You wrapped your legs tighter around him, pulling his hips against you as you tried to hold yourself up. It only made him push deeper.

“Fuck, Robert-!”

You cried out, interrupting yourself again, and felt his lips brush against your neck.

“I didn’t even move that time, baby,” he smirked.

You couldn’t stand to see him so smug. Somewhere deep inside yourself, you found strength.

“W-what are you waiting for, then? Get to work, pretty boy.”

Robert grinned as he thrust into you, even more powerfully than before. You wanted to whimper, but bit your tongue. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

“You really are something else,” Robert chuckled.

His pace had started to speed up, and now he was pumping in and out of you relentlessly, each thrust pushing you back against the wall. Your body had finally adjusted to his girth, and you were almost starting to enjoy the stretch. Not to mention the way that his head hit a certain spot inside of you, nearly making you fall apart every time he brushed against it.

You were finding it harder and harder to suppress your moans, and every now and then one would slip out of your tightly-pressed lips. Robert seemed to speed up every time he heard you whimper.

“Fuck!” you swore, as he hit a particularly deep spot.

“You take my cock so well,” he grunted. Even trying to keep his cool, it was clear that he was only seconds away from release. “Now let’s see how you take my cum.”

“Not… not inside,” you panted.

“Don’t- fucking- tell me what to do.”

“Don't fucking come in me!”

Pressed against the wall, your options for retaliation were limited. Your legs could do nothing but wrap around him; his hands stopping you from putting your feet on the floor. Your own hands were occupied gripping at the lapels of his suit, hanging on for dear life as he split you open. Really, the only available part of you was your mouth.

Your lips bruised hard against his, taking his bottom lip between your teeth and biting hard enough that you hoped it hurt. Robert let out a muffled growl against you, and you sank your teeth in more.

Somewhere far away, a clock chimed and the party below you surged drunkenly. Robert thrust his hips into you one last time, and then you felt him painting your walls; cum leaking out of you as he held you, still suspended in the air. As the buzzing in your head started to fade, you realized he was smiling against your lips.

You jaw relaxed just enough for Robert to pull himself away. His lip was bruised; angry red from where your teeth had scraped him. He was even more disheveled than he had been, and, somehow, even more satisfied with himself.

“Ended up giving me that kiss anyway,” he rasped, voice still heavy from exertion and lust. “And right at midnight, too.”

You felt your hatred surge again, weakly. You were exhausted; barely able to keep yourself upright when Robert finally set you on your feet. He stepped away, leaving you to tug down your dress and try to make yourself presentable. A very difficult task, considering you still had fresh cum leaking out of you. Your eyes quickly scanned the floor for your panties. You would not stoop to searching on your hands and knees for them. Not until Robert left your office, at least.

Robert finished zipping his pants and replacing his belt, shiny silver buckle clicking under his fingers. He tugged at his suit, barely making a dent in the wrinkles, and smoothed a hand over his hair.

“Well, I would say ‘same time next week,’ but I think it would be easier to pencil you in at lunch,” Robert joked. “Maybe we can finally have that drink before I take you back to my office. You’ll have a really nice view of the city while I fuck you against the window.”

You really couldn’t believe the nerve. Although, by now, it should have been easy to expect no less from Robert. You walked right up to him and planted a finger in the center of his chest.

“If you think I’m ever having sex with you again, you’re twice as delusional as I thought you were,” you huffed.

Robert took one more long look at you, and shrugged.

“Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

#robert fischer x reader #robert fischer #robert fischer smut #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy smut #LemmyFics

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amsznn · 1 month

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heyy i love your writing! idk if this is where you take requests or not or if you do requests but i have a kinda specific one? could you do one with matt where y/n has her own small, cozy home, and she and matt kinda unspokenly like each other and hang out alone all the time? like they're super close and flirt low key all the time in small, sweet ways, and they're "just friends" but could definitely be found watching a scary movie alone together in her super cozy room *sorta* cuddling? going on late night drives together and talking for hours?? that kinda relationship! like id just LOVEE for you to write about a breezy fall night, her bedroom windows open, fall scented candles in her room, homemade chocolate chip cookies, and a scary movie kinda cuddled up with matt under thick blankets? but they obviously like each other a lot and he's the first one to tell her and share really cute kisses??? you know?? like matt can't fully focus on the movie because his heart is beating out of his chest with super cute feelings for y/n. just lots of fluff, cozy fall vibes, nothing super cringey! i hope i got the very specific vibe across haha!

CAN WE BE MORE? - m. sturniolo ⋆⭒˚.

A/N: TYSM for this request, its soo good and hopefully you enjoy reading my take on it!

no one was more excited for fall like you and your best friend matt were. in your eyes, fall was when you thrived the most. with the nice breeze, to the crunch of the leaves under your converse as you make yourself up your driveway, nothing could compare.

opening up the door to your small apartment, you immediately felt at ease. quickly kicking off your shoes, you made your way to your living room that was sorta a mess from yesterday’s activities. the triplets came over to bake cookies with you, but chris ended up crashing on the couch. it was no big deal though, you loved the triplets. maybe sometimes you had a little more love for one.

snapping out of your thoughts, you checked your phone to see the time. 5:30. the triplets would be coming over once again so you could have your anual scary movie session.

the day went on with you cleaning every crevasse of your house, of course knowing it would go back to it’s horrid state after the boys got there. then you made your way to your room, looking around to see if anything was out of place. you noticed that matt’s blanket was hanging off your bed so you made way to grab it. matt sometimes liked sleeping over to get away from all the chaos. it was normal for your friendship with him. nothing ever really happened though.

although you loved all three of them, you couldn’t help but wish for some more alone time with matt. maybe it was selfish but you couldn’t ignore the way your heart pounded ten times faster whenever he was around, or when he would sneak glances at you thinking you weren’t looking. maybe it was all in your head, you thought to yourself.

the time was now 6:20, and the sun had already fully set, which made for a cozy environment in your house with the lights dimmed, and pumpkin scented candles flickering. you also made a mental note to check on the cookies you put under the oven.

a few minutes later you heard your front door start to open. it didn’t alarm you since the triplets had an extra key. well, matt had an extra key. “y/n?” you heard a familiar voice call out from the hallway. you couldn’t hide your excited expression as you made your way towards the voice.

you expected to be bombarded by nick, and chris as well but nope, it was only matt. “hey, where are your brothers?” you asked, taking the bag of snacks out of his hands.

shuffling to take his shoes off matt says, “well, i thought it’d be better if it was just us.” you blinked for a couple of moments before smiling. “sure why not, maybe we can actually finish the movie this time.” you chuckled, before making your way to the kitchen, with matt following closely behind you.

he sighed when he smelled the aroma of the cookies surrounding the area. he always secretly loved coming over alone. he liked spending time with just you. of course you guys hang out occasionally like going to random food places together, or heading to the thrift store, but something was different when just hanging out at your house. over the years it’s become like a safe place for matt where he can escape from the world for a little bit. you were his escape. except how does he tell you that?

he watched as you opened the oven to take the cookies out, forgetting about oven mitts, and heat. “hot! hot! hot!” you shouted but refusing to drop your cookies on the floor. matt quickly made his way to you with and oven mitt and placed the cookies on the counter before turning to you. “are you okay??” he asked while gently taking your hands to inspect your burns.

it was nothing fatal, nothing cold water and vaseline couldn’t fix. he led you to the sink and held your hand under the cold water. “stay right here, okay? i’ll go get some vaseline.” matt knew his way around your house like the back of his hand, so he came back with the vaseline in no time. taking your hand out of the water, he gently dried it with a towel, before applying the vaseline to it.

you scrunched your face up at the uncomfortable contact which matt seemed to notice. “i know, i know, but this is what happens when you forget the fucking oven mitt”

you couldnt help but laugh. “hey, i just wanted my cookies.” matt softly smiled before letting your hand go. you both stood there for what seemed like an eternity just staring at each other. until you realized the oven was still on. (id burn the house down yall)

after that whole fiasco, you and matt ended up settling down on the couch to watch your favorite scary movie. there wasn’t a lot of space between you two since you liked being close to matt whenever watching these movies. no matter who was there you subconsciously were always closer to him.

the movie started and you were bundled up in your blanket while matt’s arm rested on the couch behind you. although the movie was creepy, the smile on your face almost never left since you felt so secure with matt. eventually though, that smile faded away as a jumpscare popped up on your screen. causing you to jump closer into matt’s side.

on the other hand, matt was freaking out. and not because of the movie. sure you guys have cuddled before, but that doesn’t mean he never longed for more. or for it to more than just two friends being close. his eyes darted between you and the screen. he was sure you could hear the pounding of his chest. he gently removed his arm from the couch and wrapped it around your shoulder, making sure to watch your reaction, not wanting to make you uncomfortable.

you sighed at the contact and rested your head on his chest further. if anyone walked in right now, they’d definitely think you were a couple. but unfortunately you were just two friends as of right now.

eventually the movie ended, but you and matt’s position on the couch didn’t. his arm was still around you, afraid that if he’d move just a little, you’d move away. you looked up at matt and found him staring right back at you. this made you shift up, to properly sit. “what?” you asked him.

matt’s mouth only opened and closed. desperately trying to find the right words. eventually he just sighed, letting everything out. “y/n, i know we’ve been friends for a while but i really cant keep ignoring my feelings like this.” matt shifted on the couch as you listened, worried that you did something wrong.

“i like you, or maybe love im not sure, but i do know that you mean so much to me, and just being friends is killing me.” matt paused for a moment to catch his breath from rambling so much. “i just want to be more.”

“you have no idea how much ive been wanting to hear that from you.” you softly laughed as you watched matt’s face soften. “i love you too, matt.”

matt only smiled as he brought you into a hug, resting his head on your shoulder. “can i kiss you?” he asks, close to a whisper. you nodded before wrapping your arms around his neck. matt smiled at this and leaned in, before his lips landed on yours. matt’s arms made their way down your body and landed on the sides of your waste, trying to pull you in closer.

it felt like your heart was going to explode at any moment with the way matt’s lips were moving against yours. he was gentle, but passionate. matt pecked your lips a couple of times before pulling back and holding you there.

“so, can i be your boyfriend?” he asks, bringing his hand up to caress your face.

“of course you can.”

A/N: i really hope this is what you meant / wanted. this was an amazing first request, i was literally smiling while reading it. If anything, message me if you want anything added or changed and leave some more requests!

also ty guys so so much for the love on my recenr works, its so crazy, love you all <3

#sturniolo fluff #sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo x reader #matt x reader #sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #fluff #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic

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festivalsofmargot · 1 year

Text

Pining in Potions Class {Sebastian Sallow x GN!Reader}

Introduction: Sebastian Sallow is forming a huge crush on you, and it’s hitting him all at once in a very annoying way. Something as simple as not being partnered with you in potions class eats away at him. Gotta love some jealous Sebastian. Takes place after MC has met Anne and before completing his final mission. Some levity to enjoy being students with crushes.

Word Count: ~ 2,600

Warnings: None really, just some Hogwarts students crushing on each other from afar.

Author’s Note: You ever get in trouble with a teacher in class and look at your friend who’s trying not to laugh then you struggle not to laugh? That’s exactly the experience I was thinking of writing this haha. Come on, Sebastian Sallow and MC are the next Ron and Hermione, you can’t convince me otherwise. (Though I really head cannon over Sebastian and a hufflepuff) I wrote this so it was gender neutral and non house specific.

Songs (if interested):

Hold Me Tight - Berlinist

She - dodie

WACKY - Matt Watson

Lady May - Tyler Childers

That day in potions class, Professor Sharp had told the students to partner up for the day’s brew, the focus potion. You and Garreth Weasley, being near each other already, looked at one another and gave an innocent shrug of your shoulders, agreeing to partner up.

Sebastian had partnered up with Natty and couldn’t help but glance your direction. He felt a pang of jealousy when he saw how close you and Garreth were standing when reading over the recipe in the text book. Quickly convincing himself he wasn’t bothered, he looked down at his and Natty’s station, trying to focus.

But he was bothered. You had still been around to help whenever he asked, but he couldn’t help feeling this distance starting to grow between the two of you. He had found himself coming up with any and every excuse to get you to help him with something, otherwise he didn’t think he’d be able to see you outside of class. He noticed you had a lot of assignments to do that required you to leave Hogwarts so he’s offered to go along to help. But every time he did you turned him down, saying you understood how busy he was with his research and would ask Poppy or Natty if you needed anything.

Today’s missed opportunity caused him to tap his fingers on the desk in annoyance as he looked over the ingredients. He wished he had some sort of a heads up if they were going to need partners in any of the classes they shared together. That way he could be proactive with where he sat next time.

“The reason I’ve partnered you up today,” Professor Sharp began, “is not because of the difficulty of the potion, the potion’s ingredients are few and very easy to keep balanced. The real challenge lies in the preparation of the ingredients. It will be strenuous work squeezing the juice from your dugbog tongues." The class made a collective sound of disgust which brought an amused smirk to the Professor’s face.

Among the class’s sounds of repulsion, Sebastian heard you trying to stifle your giggles. His envy only grew when he realized your laughter was a response to something Weasley had whispered to you.

“Now, a slimy dugbog tongue will work fine, but a dried up tongue will make the potion not only more effective, it can last longer as well. Use the tools I’ve given to you to dry out the tongues, your arms will get tired so let your partner know when you need them to take over. Begin.”

Sebastian and Natty gave each other an inquisitive look, unsure of how to get started.

“I guess we’ll start with the rolling pin?” Natty suggested, grabbing it and then making work of squeezing the juice out of the tongue. It was much harder than she expected. The more she rolled, the tougher it felt. “Whew! This is going to tire me out fast, be ready to switch, Sebastian.”

“Right.” Sebastian said. While he waited for Natty to finish her round, he couldn’t stop his gaze from wandering your way. He found it cute how you were trying to stand on your tiptoes when rolling out the dugbog tongue, hoping gravity would help you out if you were able to get more of your weight on it.

“Woah, Garreth.” You said, letting out an exhausted breath, feeling the burn in your arms. “Would you mind going to hang up my robes while I do my turn?” You asked as you shed the garment. You weren’t a stranger to physical labor, you knew when you were going to work up a sweat.

“No problem.” Garreth said, taking your robes and shedding off his own as well. “Was going to do the same myself. Not my first dugbog tongue, unfortunately.”

As Garreth walked off to the back of the class to hang up your robes, you rolled up your sleeves and got back to work.

Sebastian had a slight longing it was him who you had asked to hang up your robes as his eyes roamed up and down your backside. He didn’t think the school uniform fit anyone quite as well as it fit you. Realizing what he was doing, he mentally chastised himself and snapped his attention back to his table. At that point, Natty was holding out the rolling pin to him. He took it from her and she began shaking out her arms, seemingly too worn out to tease him if she had noticed his staring.

“Go as long as you can Sebastian, I might not have paced myself very well and overdone it.”

“Don’t worry, Natty. I got this.” Sebastian assured her, but as soon as he began rolling out the dugbog tongue he understood why everyone said it was so difficult. There was barely any squish to the thing! It was like trying to get orange juice from an orange made of marble. He poised himself, took a deep breath, and leaned forward, beginning his rolls again.

It had been a good few minutes of rolling when your laugh broke Sebastian’s focus, stealing his attention again.

“Garreth, stop it!” He heard you jokingly chide among the class’s chattering voices. While forcing himself to keep rolling, he looked over to see Garreth laughing with you, trying to get his hands on the roller while you were still giving a go at the dugbog tongue.

“Alright, we’ll do it together then if that’s what you want.” Garreth quipped. Sebastian’s stomach dropped when he saw the red head put both of his hands over yours on the roller to help put more force on the dugbog tongue.

“You’re a piece of work, Garreth.” You snickered, pulling away and playfully smacking his arm. Garreth shot you a sly smirk as he got into a better position to start his rolling.

“Don’t even try to hide it, you love having me as a potions partner already.” Though you shook your head at him, Sebastian noticed the amused smile gracing your lips.

Getting more fed up than tired, Sebastian stepped back from rolling and looked at Natty. “Alright, your turn.” He said with a huff. He took off his robes as well and offered to take Natty’s.

Sebastian tried to catch your eye as he walked to and from the back of the classroom but to no avail, you were too focused on the dugbog tongue and Garreth’s jokes. He returned to his station and took the rolling pin back from Natty, his annoyance fueling him.

“You take over.” Garreth said, handing you the rolling pin. “I’m going to snag some dittany leaves.”

You let out a sigh at both beginning your rolls and what Garreth had just told you. Dittany leaves were not on the ingredient list and you both knew it. “Please stay here.” You pleaded.

This time, it was Sebastian who started to crack a smile as he eaves dropped on the two of you. Maybe Garreth can turn your oh so hilarious potions class into a nightmare.

“Trust me, it’ll be a simple hybrid of a focus and wiggenweld potion.” Before you could protest further, Weasley had already darted towards the ingredient shelves.

You, not having the energy to call after him again, groaned and continued rolling. When he returned with a goofy smile on his face, you couldn’t fight back your guffaw at his ridiculous antics, letting out an adorable snort. “Garreth, I’m going to kill you.”

“Relax, I’ll take the blame if things go wrong. Just act like you didn’t know I added the leaves.”

Just as quickly as his smile formed, it vanished from Sebastian’s face. That was his move. He had taken the blame for you when you two got caught in the restricted section in hopes to impress you a bit. Surely taking the fall in the library was a lot more impressive than taking the fall for a potion mishap.

“Alright class, time is up on drying out the tongues. Go on and place all the ingredients in for your focus potion.” Professor Sharp instructed.

Sebastian and Natty put in their ingredients and began stirring, and sure enough, the pot turned the right shade of blue they needed.

Suddenly, a whizzing noise came from yours and Garreth’s pot, grabbing everyone’s attention in the class including Professor Sharp’s. The whizzing noise grew louder and louder. The two of you looked at each other in panic, then out of the pot burst a small, smelly black cloud, giving a pathetic poot noise.

The whole class burst into laughter, including Sebastian. He couldn’t see your face because you were hiding it behind your hands, but he could tell you were laughing as well due to your shaking shoulders. Professor Sharp limped his way over to you and Garreth, the exhausted look on his face implied he knew it was more Garreth’s doing than yours.

It was then you finally looked Sebastian’s way, your face turning to a mix of hilarity and pain as you grabbed the side of your stomach from laughing too hard. You gave him a helpless face, hoping to convey to Sebastian how absurd working with Garreth was.

Sebastian gave you a smug look and began clapping his hands, “Well done.”

You gave him a small smile and an oh well shrug and brought your attention back to Professor Sharp.

The class had quieted down at the seriousness in Professor Sharp’s tone. As you and Garreth were getting a good scolding in front of everyone, Sebastian noticed you were biting the inside of your cheeks to prevent yourself from laughing further. He had to quickly look down to his feet, sealing his lips together as tightly as he could to stop any chuckles of his own from coming through.

As much as he didn’t like the idea of getting in trouble with Professor Sharp, he couldn’t help but want to be in Garreth’s position. He wanted to be the one that made you laugh like that. He wanted to be the one who’s arm you playfully smacked. He wanted to be your partner in crime.

You made him feel a levity he hadn’t felt since Anne got cursed. Something about you drew him in and he found himself at ease whenever you were around. At first he didn’t like it, convinced himself you made him lose focus on finding a cure for his sister. But after everything you’d done so far to help him, realizing his sister had just as much fun around you as he did, and witnessing how willing you were to go into the unknown, he realized you were progressing things more than anything.

“Let’s be grateful it was only dittany leaves you added, Mr. Weasley.” Professor Sharp reprimanded, then turned to make his way back to his desk. “Well, with that rather exciting end to class, you’re all dismissed.”

As everyone made their way out of class, you and Garreth stayed behind to clean up the mess he caused.

Sebastian kept an eye on you in his peripheral vision as he and Natty gathered their robes and slipped them back on. He took this chance to grab yours and bring them over.

“Aw thanks, Sebastian. You shouldn’t have, I really appreciate it.” Garreth wisecracked as you and him were scrubbing the table.

“Shut up, Weasley.” Sebastian said with a chuckle, handing him his robes, then held up your robes so he could help you into them.

Your scrubbing slowed to a stop and a blush creeped up your neck. Sebastian had never done anything like this before. You tried to calm yourself as you turned and let him help you get your robes on.

Shrugging them on, you turned and thanked him. You met his expectant gaze and, after a moment, realized he was waiting for you to finish up so you could walk to your next class together. “Oh, um... you may have to go on without me. It might take us a while to finish up here.”

You also needed a second to yourself to breathe because Sebastian’s gesture had thrown you for a loop. He needed to be careful doing things like that, because you’d look too much into it and convince yourself he liked you back. The thought of burdening him with your feelings seemed so selfish. He had a cursed sister to help, he didn’t need some new Hogwarts student pining for him and making his life more complicated. He was already taking time out of his day to help you catch up on spells, no way you could ask any more of him.

Sebastian couldn’t help but feel disappointed, and it showed on his face. “Alright.” He rocked back and forth on his feet awkwardly. “I suppose I’ll... catch up with Ominis and see you in charms then?”

You gave him a smile and simple nod of your head. “See you there.”

He forced a smile back then slowly made his way out of the potions classroom, kicking the dirt at his feet as he went.

You got back to cleaning with Garreth, who was staring after Sebastian. Then he looked to you, “Well, that was downright awkward.”

You could only cringe. “Sorry, Garreth.”

“No need to apologize to me. It was Sebastian’s heart you broke back there, not - ow!” He was cut off when your elbow jammed into his ribs.

“Shut up and help me clean.” Deep down you were hoping it was true that Sebastian was disappointed he couldn’t walk with you to class. You wanted to live in that fantasy even just a little. But, realistically, he probably wanted to update you on what he found in Salazar Slytherin’s spell book since he couldn’t speak about it with Ominis.

The blush made its way back when you began to think about his forearm muscles flexing as he was rolling out his and Natty’s dugbog tongue. You were extra thankful you partnered up with Garreth, there was no pressure and he had made it fun. If you had partnered with Sebastian, you would have been a bumbling mess, unable to focus on the assignment. Probably would have had to reread the ingredients a few times over even though there were only three items. Merlin’s beard, you were hopeless.

Lately, it had been difficult for you to be around Sebastian. He had been making you so nervous, it was beginning to get frustrating. You wish you could go back to how it was when you first met. You were so overwhelmed trying to catch up with the other fifth years, you couldn’t overthink things when you were together even if you wanted to. But you’ve been getting the hang of things and excelling in your coursework, wielding magic became second nature. You didn’t need to put all your focus on classes anymore, so that freed up a lot of room in your mind for Sebastian.

With a defeated sigh, you and Garreth finished cleaning up your potions station. You grabbed your books and waved goodbye. As soon as you left the classroom, you looked up to see Sebastian leaning against the wall. He had decided to wait for you after all.

He pushed up off the wall and walked up to you, a smile spreading across your face. He took the quickest glance at your lips, catching himself before he could linger. Without warning, he grabbed your books and began walking away.

“Shall we?” He asked over his shoulder.

You pursed your lips as you watched him. Surely nothing to get your hopes up over, right? Right, surely nothing. Then you moved to join his side.

#sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow fanfiction #sebastian sallow x you #sebastian sallow x reader #sebastian sallow angst

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randomyuu · 8 months

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Yuuji bowl :D

Let’s have a go with All!Yuuji because why not :D

One day I found this fic titled everything i couldn’t save by lying_sun and it got me hooked. It’s not everyday I can find a good Yuuji bowl fic (mostly because I focused a bit too much on Goyuu but I digress)

Btw, is it Yuuji harem? Yuuji bowl??? What do you call a harem with Yuuji btw? I’m too lazy to do research on this topic—

Anyway! The time has come to shower Yuuji with more love. I really adore this fic. The deadly and powerful nature of Yuuji as Sukuna’s vessel, yet his ability and heart are that of a healer. It’s contrastingly beautiful. And it’s SFW! Fluff! Fluff! ✨Fluff! ✨ And of course, a bit of angst because why not :)

If you like a Healer!Yuuji as SaShiSu trio’s teacher, please give this fic a read!

This time, I have shorter thoughts so no Read More is needed :DD

What is the best way to include all Yuuji pairings in a fanart?

Stack them up of course! Squish them all into a small space!

Everytime I see Hidden Inventory Arc characters, it always feels like going back to the past. So the concept of immortalising this precious Yuuji bowl into a Polaroid photo feels fitting. And without me even realising it, the outcome feels… cheerful? A bit romcom-ish? Despite the amount of black clothes and hair, the vibe is really light. It feels weird as I usually draw in a rather sombre tone, but I found I like this kind of tone as well!

And also because Yuuji deserves all the love :”)

Ah, this fic is truly giving me “healer yuuji for the soul”. Beautiful.

As I drew this, the fic is almost finished, with the future last chapter being a Sukuna chapter! Since I was not sure what their dynamic would look like, I decided he would be a chibi (I was in the mood for a chibi and he’s my sacrificial lamb). It kind of indicates that he’s different. As in not having his own body and cannot hug Yuuji physically haha

Unless? 👀

Drawing them all was really fun! It was a bit tricky since I couldn’t find references for the pose so I just winging it with my available anatomy knowledge. Bless the college for having black uniforms. Helps a lot lol

Anyway, that’s it from me. I hope you enjoy the drawing, and also the fic if you ever decided to give it a read! I wish you all a pleasant weekend! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

#Yuu's art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk-fic-fanart #jjk-ship #jjk ship #goyuu #gojou x yuuji #getou x yuuji #toji x yuuji #sukuna x yuuji #question mark...?#sukuita #sukuita is implied #5u #nobara is besties with yuuji and I want to be her

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applejuicefruit · 1 year

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you’re the best writing angst so i was wondering if i could request some angst with kylian where he cheats and she finds out please? no happy ending please?

writing this made me cry also i am sure kylian would not be like this in real life so this is all fictional haha

thank you for requesting this i hope you like it <3

kylian mbappe x reader

Was she worth it?

Twitter just fucked up your relationship.

You wished you weren’t so bored to go and spend hours and hours on Twitter but here you were, with your phone in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. You saw Kylian’s name trending on Twitter so you decided to check it out, you thought that maybe he was trending because of the upcoming game PSG had that week but nothing could have prepared you for what you were seeing.

Kylian, hand in hand with his best friend in one picture. Holding her waist in an other picture. Her kissing him on the cheek in the next picture. Kylian kissing her on the lips in the last picture. You knew he was having a “PSG dinner” but apparently he was at some party Neymar threw in one of the most exclusive clubs in Paris.

Those pictures went worldwide in a second.

“Kylian cheating on y/n is the last thing I needed to see” one of Kylian’s fan pages tweeted. You were glad that most of his fans were standing by your side, knowing that Kylian was madly in love with you and felt betrayed by this behaviour.

“What is they broke up and he’s just having fun?” someone else tweeted. How could you have break up when he posted a picture of the two of you together two days ago?

“I’m a daughter of divorced parents” someone else joked, you laughed a bit through tears knowing that it’s a typical fangirl thing to say. You said that too when Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston broke up so you couldn’t blame them.

“Finally he found someone prettier” someone said. That made you hurt. Millions of thoughts started running into your mind.

The worst part was probably that Neymar, one of your best friends was the one who threw the party and didn’t even invite you, probably knowing that Kylian was cheating on you. Everyone from the team was there. All of your friends and their wives and girlfriends, when Kylian only said it was a business dinner and you didn’t have to go because it would have been boring, instead he was partying and cheating on you. And everyone knew and said nothing.

You couldn’t explain what you were feeling. You were feeling humiliated, embarrassed, betrayed by the people you thought were your friends, sad, angry, disappointed and heart broken. A mix of everything that didn’t go well with the wine you were drinking.

You saw people tagging you on Instagram and decided to open it, it couldn’t have been worse that Twitter you thought. It was so wrong.

Neymar posted a few stories where everyone was having fun, drinking and dancing. Your best friend posted a video of Kylian and whoever that girl was who was sat on his lap while they were hugging. Your best friend. The man who threatened Kylian once you started dating. He posted a story where Kylian, that girl, Achraf and Hiba were there all laughing and having fun. Your two other friends. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing, feeling betrayed by them and Kylian.

You knew everyone was drunk and that Neymar would have regretted posting those pictures the next day but it was too late. You saw the pictures, the whole world saw the pictures.

You put your Instagram private, unfollowing everyone who was there at the party and blocking them, including Kylian too.

You were so tired you went straight to bed and cried yourself to sleep.

Kylian got home around 3 am, drunk but not too drunk to know what happened that night. He knew he fucked up bad. Neymar started feeling guilty too he tried to reach your DMs but couldn’t find nothing on you, seeing you blocked him.

“She blocked me” he texted to Kylian who left him on read. Kylian immediately checked his insta but he couldn’t found you either, meaning you saw the pictures and the videos. He fucked up really bad.

He decided to sleep in the guest bedroom knowing you probably wouldn’t want to see him that night.

He woke up before you, feeling a little hungover but more worried about how his relationship might turn. He made some breakfast for the two of you and waited for you to wake up.

You didn’t even know that Kylian was back home so you simply got out of your bedroom and went straight to the kitchen, only to find Kylian sat at the table with a guilty look on his face.

Good. That’s how you wanted him to feel. Guilty. Humiliated. Alone. As you felt last night.

“Mon amour can we talk please?” he asked you but you immediately corrected him

“Y/n. Not mon amour, just y/n” you said with a hard look on your face. You had no more tears after last night. Sadness ran so madness and anger could walk. You thought about what to do all night and the answer was easy, breaking up with him in the most cruel way. You never felt so sad and humiliated like last night so it was only fair that he felt the same way.

“Baby please…” he said standing up from the chair and taking a few steps towards you but you backed off

“Y/n” you repeated

“I’m so sorry, I swear…” he said, a few tears falling from his eyes

“About what? Cheating? Lying? Humiliating me? Be more specific Mbappè” you said calling him by last name

“For everything…I wish I could say I was just drunk but I wasn’t, I just…I have no excuses but it wasn’t my intention to cheat on you” he said but you couldn’t help but laugh

“Are you even listening to yourself Kylian? First you lie to me telling me you have a business meeting, then I find out that you are with Neymar, my best friend who threw a party and didn’t even invite me, and for last I see pictures and videos of you cheating on me with I don’t know who, while laughing and having fun and all you can say is sorry?” you said, your hard look never leaving your face, you didn’t want to show your weakness because you knew that if you started crying you would forgive him “Do you know how I felt? When everyone I knew were having fun knowing that you cheated? I felt so fucking humiliated and sad and mad and all I wanted to do was never seeing you again, something that I’m going to do soon because you’ll never see me again Kylian” you said, your look never leaving his face

“What-what are you talking about?” he asked, his voice cracking a bit while tears fell from his face

“That it’s over. We’re done. You’re dead to me” you said taking off the promise ring he got you for your last birthday. A promise to love you that he couldn’t keep.

“No-no this isn’t real…I made a mistake I know, she doesn’t mean nothing to me, I need you here you-you can’t do this” he said fully crying. You’ve never seen Kylian crying so much and a part of you felt bad, the other part was proud of you for standing against him.

“I already did it. I’ll be back when you’re at practice so I can pack and leave…I don’t want to see you ever again, I only hope she was worth it” you said leaving your apartment, you didn’t care if you were wearing only your pajamas, you needed to get away from that house as soon as possible.

You reached for your car and once you were inside you let all of your tears fall. Sobs hurting your chest, your breathing fast and heavy. You started driving, you had no idea of where to go. When something bad happened and Kylian wasn’t there you would usually call Neymar but you couldn’t face him at the moment. But in the same time you were thinking about Neymar he popped up in the home of your phone, trying to call you.

You answered, ready to end him as you just did with Kylian.

“Y/n honey where are you? Kylian told me everything, are you safe? Are you driving?” he asked through the phone

“So now you care?” you asked, your voice breaking a little

“What you mean? Of course I care about you…” he said back

“Oh cut the bullshit! Did you have fun last night?” you sarcastically asked him

“Y/n listen to me…” he tried to speak but you stopped him

“No you listen to me. You were my best friend. Were because you’re a total stranger now to me. You had the nerve to post about Kylian and his new chick on your stories and now you’re asking me if I’m okay? Of course not! Kylian’s dead to me, I don’t want to ever see him again, he broke all of my trust and so did you…Ney I thought you really cared” you took a deep breath and continued talking “I don’t care how drunk you were, I don’t care honestly…just so you know, we’re done. You’re dead to me too, you and your little friend and all of the people who I thought were my friends. It’s over” you said before hanging up, not even giving him the chance to speak. He tried to call you back but you simply wouldn’t answer. You kept driving without nowhere to go. Almost an hour later you stopped in an empty parking lot, trying to recompose yourself and, with your spam account, checking instagram one last time to see if the news reached everyone. Apparently it did.

Kylian posted a picture of the teddy bear he gave you for your birthday and that you kept in the living room near the couch with a caption that said “a single mistake can turn your life upside down, i’ll regret it for the rest of my life but if you’re seeing this i wish you every good thing, you’re too pure for this world, love you forever, kylian”.

You sobbed a little but it was time for you to move one. You couldn’t break down now, everyone betrayed you, it was you and you only.

#kylian mbappe #kylianmbappe x reader #kylian mbappe x reader #kylian mbappe imagines #kylian mbappe fluff #kylian mbappe angst #kylian x reader #equipe de france #paris saint germain #psg #kylian mbappe one shot #kylian mbappe imagine #football fan #football imagine #football x reader #football blurb

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seniaasaysstuff · 11 months

Note

hii i was wondering if you do requests, ill leave here this request and if you dont do them or dont like this feel free to ignore this!<3

its sukuna (or characters of your choice) x fem! reader where she gave birth to a baby but sadly it died so she fell into depression and sukuna is worried but tries not to show it much

thank you even for reading this, take care!<3

TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️- miscarriage.

Hi anon! This is actually my first request haha. Thank you for the request! I tried to write a happy kind of ending?

Um I hope you like it :D Have a great day<33

SADNESS ; ryomen sukuna.

Sukuna may be considered as someone that didn’t have feelings, a monster, an unnatural freak but he loved you.

The first time he ever laid his eyes on you, sukuna knew you were the one for him.

Even though you were a sickly person, you diligently took care of sukuna when he was wounded. You tried your best to protect him from the villagers. You even went as far as taking a hit that was meant for him.

One day sukuna asked you to leave with him.

You accepted, you didn’t have anyone in the world other than him.

You knew about sukuna being a powerful sorcerer but you always worried about his safety.

Soon sukuna built an estate just for you.

He took great care of you. You never had to worry about a thing. He treated you like a queen.

He courted you and married you like a respectful gentleman.

Everyone in the estate respected you, some even feared you as they believed that you were the only one that could control sukuna.

The estate maids adored you, you treated them so kindly, always greeting them. To them even though you were a sickly person, you always were bubbly, so friendly.They always felt delighted when they saw sukuna sama treat you with devotion because in their eyes you deserved the best.

After a year of your marriage, you felt lonely.

When you noticed the estate maids with their children it made you cry.

You knew you would have great difficulty having kids but you wanted to try having a baby with sukuna. You always envisioned having a child that looked just like sukuna, your husband.

Sukuna vehemently refused as he was worried about your safety. But after your incessant pleas he gave in. He couldn’t handle you and your puppy dog eyes begging him for a baby every day and it worked.

You were finally pregnant. Sukuna got the most sought out doctors for you.

The pregnancy took a toll on you. It was taxing both for your physical and mental health. The morning sickness made you unable to stomach anything and it made you look even more sickly.

While you were walking around one day you felt cramps. They were alarming and it felt like you were dying. You felt something warm trickle down your leg. It felt like blood. You looked down and cried out. You were bleeding.

After hearing you scream, the maids came down rushing. They yelled for the doctor as they ushered you into the room. Sukuna dropped everything as he heard you cry out and ran towards your room.

Pain, all you could feel was pain when the doctor sadly informed you that you had miscarried. You wailed for your lost child.

You never really recovered from your miscarriage. You stopped leaving your room, always sitting in your room looking out of the window sadly. You lost your appetite neither did you have the energy to do anything.

You never really knew it but sukuna cried.

He was so worried for you. He didn’t care for the baby, sure it hurt but you were the only thing that mattered to him.

He did his best to cheer you up. He did not know what to do to make you feel better. He didn’t wish for you to grow distant and fall into depression. So he took you on walks, tried getting you gifts like jewelry, he attempted to make jokes to make you laugh but it didn’t work. Nothing worked.

He was growing even more frightened for you.

If you went on like this you could die and he didn’t want that.

One day sukuna dropped on his knees in front of you. “My love,” he rasped.

“Please let me take care of you. I vow to you that I would do everything in my power to help you. Don’t ignore me please my darling. Kill me if you wish but talk to me. I can’t handle you not talking to me.” His voice cracked. Tears were threatening to fall.

“It was not your fault. Believe me, it wasn’t, curse me all you want but please don’t do this. I can’t do this anymore- seeing you trying to kill yourself.” He let out a tired sigh.

You let out a sob. “I don’t know what to do kuna. I lost our baby.” Sukuna lifted and placed you in his lap. You clutched his kimono and wept against his chest.

“You didn’t lose our baby sweetheart. None of it was your fault. We can always try for another or adopt if you want hm?” He tried to soothe you.

“But-” You trembled. He placed a finger against your lips.

“My love, it's okay.” He assured you.

“It’s okay to miss the baby. But don’t beat yourself up over it.” He murmured.

A few months later you had settled down a bit. You at times felt empty. You didn’t have anything to fill up the void. Sure sukuna tried his best to keep you happy but it wasn’t enough.

“You know what? You wanted a baby to look like me right?” Sukuna barged inside your shared room with his hands behind his back. You were confused. You didn’t know what was going on nor Why he was bringing up babies?

“Here meet Yuji and Mizuho.” He handed you two infants.

“What is the meaning of this?” You shrieked.

“Did you steal someone’s kids?” You shouted. “Look at the children.” He whispered. You looked down and noticed they looked oddly similar to sukuna.

You glanced at him in bewilderment. “I made them with my cursed energy. I knew you wanted children but I couldn’t put you through hell again.” He proudly spoke.

“I know you were planning to name our child Yuji if it was a boy and Mizuho if it was a girl.” He added. Tears were brimming in your eyes. “You did all of this for me?” You stuttered.

“I love you. This was nothing. I’m willing to do anything for you.” He hoarsely spoke. “I know it will not make you forget about the baby nor will it fill the empty void. But I want you to be happy.”

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cl3fairyyy · 1 month

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routine : part 2 || edward nashton x GN!reader ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

summary || you and edward finally go on a date

warnings || eddie is a liiiittle more stalker-y in this one, smoking, mentions of drinking, mentions of edward following reader home and just overall being his strange little self, this fic does get a little suggestive (no actual smut) so please MDNI!!!! i think that's everything, if i forgot anything i am so sorry </3 this fic is mostly just fluff with a side of awkward first date small talk

word count || 4.5k

notes || i am so sorry for the long wait on part 2!! been having the worst writers block of my life and my job has been taking over my life atm </3 but it is finally here!! i had so much fun writing this one, definitely thinking of doing a part 3 if u guys want it :)) apologies if at any point eddie is too OOC, he's definitely a little more confident in this one hehe. also this pic of paul is EXACTLY how I imagined him looking while writing this

You arrive back at your dingy apartment later than you had planned and, admittedly, a lot tipsier than you had wanted to be.

You shove your key into the crappy broken lock that your landlord refuses to fix and jiggle it around for several moments until you finally hear a click. Opening the door, you sway on your feet a little before stumbling over to the couch, kicking the door shut behind you; when you plop down on the velvety throw you use to cover up the horrible cracking leather of your equally horrible sofa, you sigh and throw your head back, allowing a smile to play onto your face.

He had asked you on a date.

You keep replaying the interaction in your head, mentally swooning at how Edward had lit your cigarette for you, how he had been so close that you could smell the laundry detergent on his clothes. You giggle like a schoolgirl, hugging one of your cushions as you fish around in your bag for your phone. You have to suppress a giddy squeal when you are greeted with not one, but three messages from a random number, one you can only guess belongs to Edward. You feel dizzy unlocking your phone, and you don’t know if it’s the alcohol or your nerves.

Hi, it’s Edward. I hope you have a lovely rest of your night.

I really liked talking to you today. You’re a very interesting person.

Are you okay? It's late, did you get home safe?

It takes everything in you to not dreamily sigh like you’re in a fucking rom-com. He's concerned about me, you think, typing a reply with a lopsided smile on your face.

hiii yes im fine!! just made it home : )

im vry drunk lol

Immediately the grey typing bubble pops up and you launch your phone across the room, scrambling to the fridge to open the half-empty bottle of slightly too expensive rosé that you have been saving for the next time you rewatch Fleabag.

You hear your phone ding twice and gingerly pick it up from underneath the coffee table, your hands shaking.

Oh, good to hear that you’re safe haha. I was about to head back to the bar to see if you were okay.

That was a joke by the way.

You can’t stop a smile from spreading across your face. You take a swig from the bottle and begin typing.

yea im sure it was lol

it was nowhere near as interesting after u left. u were in such a hurry too are u ok??

Edward’s cheeks grow red when he reads your second message. You think he’s interesting? Are you hinting that you would’ve preferred if he stayed?

Wish I could have stayed for a bit longer haha, just had some work at home that I couldn’t get my mind off, so wanted to take another crack at it.

Obviously, he can’t tell you that his work isn’t just some simple tax fraud, but a potential money laundering scandal that ties all the way back to Maroni and your own boss. He knows at this point, though, that you’re too polite to question him.

u sure do work a lot!!!! idk how u havent burnt out yet.

try to get some rest if u can : ) its not like the work wont be there tmrw!!!!

Edward smiles. You are so lovely to him; the idea that someone like you could show so much kindness to him makes his heart swell and his eyes fill with tears. A few run down the tip of his nose and plop onto his phone screen.

I know, I know. Sometimes it feels like I can’t switch my brain off haha. It’s been in overdrive since I got home.

He cringes at himself. Is he meant to text so formally? You're pretty much the only contact in his phone besides his landlord and the office. He glances down at his screen, noticing that you’ve read his message but haven’t started typing an answer, and immediately begins to panic.

Of course someone like you couldn’t like him. He was a fool to think you were any different than anyone else in this shithole of a city. You’re probably still sat with your colleagues at that shitty bar, reading out his messages and all having a good old laugh at him. Everyone get a load of Nashton! you're probably saying, and he feels sick to his stomach.

soso sorry my phone just died out of nowhere!!! i srsly did not mean to leave u on opened

honestly i get u i can be like that. its probably worse for u tho bc ur so smart lol

whats been sending the brain of eddie into overdrive tonight??

Edward shakes his head at how silly he’s being. It would be funny if he didn’t feel so pathetic. He reads your messages over and over until his eyes burn; no one has ever given him a nickname before. Eddie. He rereads the nickname, trying to imagine how it would sound coming out of your mouth. His mind begins to wander, picturing you lying beneath him, bare chest heaving as you moan that name to him. Eddie.

He's snapped out of his thoughts when his phone lights up again with a notification from his news app. He attempts to push down his building arousal before it completely clouds his mind, and scrambles for his phone to send you a reply.

It’s a little embarrassing, but... I have been thinking non-stop about the conversation we had outside.

I really would like to take you out, if you’ll let me. If you’d like to pick where we go so you feel more comfortable, I’m happy with that. I’m sure you know much nicer places to go than I do anyway haha.

You squeal at your phone, kicking your feet in the air like a goddamn teenager. You hastily type a reply, and soon enough you’ve made plans for Sunday to go to a lovely downtown jazz club that plays live music. It's one of your favourite spots in the whole city.

You fall asleep fairly quickly after throwing yourself on your bed still fully clothed. You don’t think twice about how bad your hangover will be when you wake up, instead picturing your date with Edward and just how lovely he is.

Edward, on the other hand, stays up all night, his thoughts rife with anxiety. You'd had one conversation in a loud bar, and now he’s expected to keep you entertained for an entire evening? What if you didn’t find him interesting? What if he ran out of things to talk about? What if you stood him up entirely?

He shakes his head, trying as hard as he can to shake the thoughts from his brain entirely. He opens your social media, which he has found himself doing every time he seems to be on the verge of a panic attack recently. He finds his favourite picture of you, a candid photo of you in a coffee shop mid-laugh, your eyes sparkling and cheeks rosy. He loves your smile in this picture.

He hopes he can make you smile like that.

Saturday goes by painfully slowly for you. The dragging hours aren’t helped by your awful hangover that seems to have convinced your brain that any slight movement will have you vomiting. You cringe rereading the messages you sent Edward the evening prior, hangxiety hitting you like a train.

Eddie? Seriously?

You have one conversation with the guy and have already started throwing nicknames around- you're in shock that you didn’t scare him off with how forward you were being. If he brings it up, you can always blame it on how drunk you were, which isn’t exactly a lie.

He doesn’t text you until later in the evening, just a simple message confirming that you’re still on for tomorrow. You wonder if he’s as nervous as you are, if his anxiety manifests itself in the way he chews at his lower lip the same way you do.

When Sunday finally rolls around, you wake up extra early to give yourself as much time to get ready as humanly possible. You would never admit it to anyone, but you’d picked out your outfit the night before and laid it on your desk chair, your nervous excitement barely allowing you to get a wink of sleep.

Edward had offered to pick you up, but you really do not need him seeing the shithole you live in the first time he sees you outside of work. You both agree to meet outside the bar, and since it’s in walking distance from your apartment, you decide against getting a taxi.

Gotham is strangely beautiful in March, the last moments of winter finally coming to fruition. The sun is just beginning to set when you step out into the chilly air, casting an orange glow on the old buildings and warming your cheeks against the cold.

Edward’s heart races as he clumsily stumbles out of the subway station. He's almost twenty minutes early and grasps a cluster of lilies in one hand, the other of which he uses to steady himself against a lamppost. The lady from his favourite podcast whispers soothingly in his ear as he attempts to block out the loudness of the city and steady his breathing.

“You are strong, and you are worthy. Be the change you want to see.”

He closes his eyes, taking deep breaths before finally grounding himself. Edward is all too aware of how he must look right now: sweaty, clutching a bouquet of flowers while standing alone outside a bar. He glances at his watch. Still ten minutes until your meeting time.

He tries to ignore the lump in his throat and the stinging in his eyes. You will show up. You have to.

Edward jumps slightly when his phone chimes in his pocket. His heart drops when he realises it’s a text from you.

so sorry!!! running a few mins late :/ decided to walk today and ofc that’s the day that every traffic light in the city decides to break LOL

The light-hearted tone in your message doesn’t do much to comfort him. He types a short answer and sends it, trying to focus all of his energy on his podcast and not crying from how utterly terrified he is.

Ten minutes after your initially agreed upon meeting time, Edward hears a voice shouting his name. He looks up to be met with the image of you practically sprinting down the street towards him. You pull to a stop in front of him, smoothing your hair down and smiling bashfully up at him. Christ, you forgot how tall he is.

“Before you say anything, I am so sorry. First there was the traffic light thing, then one of my old college friends stopped me in the street and decided that she wanted to update me on every single day of the past three years of her life.”

You breathe in heavily through your nose, your hands on your knees as you try and keep yourself from keeling over. You make a mental note to begin using that gym membership you keep renewing. Quitting smoking would probably help, too.

You look up when Edward hasn’t responded for several moments, and his cheeks are very pink.

“Look, you have every right to be pissed at me. If you want to cancel-”

Before you can finish, Edward interrupts you by thrusting a bouquet of flowers into your hands.

“Th-these are for you. I, um, remembered you mentioning lilies were your favourite flower, so...” He stumbles over his words, talking just a little too fast.

You're quite literally lost for words. You examine the flowers, your cheeks growing warm; it's a lovely spray of pink, yellow and orange lilies, tied together with a cream ribbon. They’re a little crumpled, but nothing that can’t be fixed with a little plant food. You smile at Edward.

“Oh, Edward. They're gorgeous, really, thank you. No guy’s ever gotten me flowers before...”

A small, lopsided grin spreads across his face.

“I can’t imagine why anyone lucky enough to have you wouldn’t get you flowers.”

You flush at that, and loop your arm around his, leading him inside. You manage to find a nice booth in the corner, away from the stage and speakers that surround it while Edward heads to the bar. You anxiously drum your fingers on the table and scroll through your phone, not really paying attention to what you’re meant to be reading as your mind replays what Edward had said earlier.

Edward watches you from the bar, admiring the high flush on your cheekbones and the way your outfit hugs your body. By the time he’s ordered and heading back to your table, you seem a little more relaxed. You smile at him gratefully as you accept your drink and try not to make your staring too obvious.

He looks handsome. He's wearing such a basic outfit, just a simple button up shirt and some smart slacks, but there’s something about Edward wearing something so casual and making it look so good that has you crossing your legs under the table.

“You look lovely tonight, by the way.”

You smile shyly at him, tracing your finger around the rim of your glass.

“Thank you, Edward. I have to say, you clean up pretty good yourself.”

He laughs, and you don’t miss the way it sounds like it's one of disbelief.

“Well, I don’t know if I’d say that.”

You roll your eyes playfully, taking a sip of your drink.

“Well, I would. You look really handsome.”

Edward shakes his head, a bashful smile on his face as he looks down, taking a sip of water. The pair of you sit there for a few moments in awkward silence, trying to think of something to start a conversation with.

“So-”

“You-”

You lock eyes and both laugh, cheeks red. You wave your hand.

“Sorry, you go.”

Edward averts his gaze, fiddling with his collar.

“I, um, was just going to ask how you found this place? I’ve never even heard of it. Well, I suppose the fact I don’t drink and don’t listen to jazz music doesn’t help, but...”

Edward finds himself trailing off, kicking himself for how utterly awkward he is. The way you smile at him, unfazed, doesn’t help.

How could someone like you ever find any interest in someone like him?

“It’s a funny story, actually. My old roommate was on a date with this absolute dick, and she needed me to come save her. So, what happened was....”

As you tell him the grandiose story of having to pretend to be your roommates' partner who caught her cheating, and how you had to run away when her date attempted to fight you, Edward can’t help but admire the way your eyes light up as you gesture wildly with your hands, the way your laugh comes out as an adorable snort when you attempt to do an impression of her very flustered date.

You are so beautiful. He wishes he could capture this moment in a bottle and replay it every day, for the rest of his life.

He doesn’t realise how much he’s staring until you clear your throat a little awkwardly, clearly finished with your tale. He can feel the warmth on his cheeks.

“Ah, well, I do hope you don’t have some secret boyfriend who’s going to jump out on me like that.”

He bites his lip after saying whatever the hell that was, but to his complete disbelief you laugh. Not a pity laugh, not one of discomfort, but a genuine laugh, one that’s just a little too loud, one that disturbs some of the patrons around you.

You clearly don’t care, your head thrown back as that smile, that lovely smile from his favourite picture spreads across your face. Even as you speak, uncontrollable giggles escape you.

“Oh God, can you imagine? Lucky for you, I’ve been single for a while, so don’t worry about my secret boyfriend coming in and trashing the place.”

That makes Edward laugh, much to your pleasure, and just like that, the tension in the air has dissolved. You can see Edward’s tense shoulders visibly relax, and the next few hours are spent under the warm light of the bar’s lamps, your conversations hushed and filled with longing glances, and it feels like you’re the only two people in the world that exist.

The two of you step out into the bitter cold of the evening, hands fumbling for your respective cartons of cigarettes. Your shivering hands are somehow able to summon a flame from your crappy old lighter, and the alcohol in your system, as well as the way Edward looks at you with such adoration in his eyes, warm you from the inside out. He offers you his arm and you take it maybe just a little too enthusiastically as you walk through the city streets.

When you look up at Edward, he’s already got his eyes on you, the tip of his nose pink from the late winter air. You can feel the flush spreading across your face, quickly averting your eyes to the sparkling lights of the skyscrapers.

Edward retracts his arm from yours, and you look up at him again, confused and somewhat offended. He’s shrugging his parka off his shoulders and draping it over your own before you can even comprehend what’s happening.

“You’re shivering. You might not feel cold because you’ve been drinking, but I can see the goosebumps on your arms.”

He says this so matter-of-factly. Does he not realise how romantic and thoughtful his actions are? He opens his mouth to speak again, but you interrupt him.

“Thank you.”

He offers you that adorable lopsided grin that accentuates just how round and soft his cheeks are.

“It’s really no problem. I don’t want you getting sick.”

Maybe it’s the alcohol. Maybe it’s just how perfect the night has been. Maybe it’s the way he looks at you like you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. Before you can second-guess yourself, you’re removing the cigarette from between his lips and replacing it with a kiss.

He's stiff at first, unsure, before you feel a hesitant hand on your face, thumb caressing your cheek. He pulls away first, pressing his forehead to yours, and you can practically see the stars in his eyes.

“...Wow.”

You suddenly feel bashful, pulling away from him completely and taking a drag from your cigarette.

“Sorry, I-”

“Why are you apologising?”

You meet his gaze again, his glasses fogged up, but not enough to conceal the way his brow knits with worry, the apprehension in his eyes.

“I don’t know, I- I should have asked first.”

He takes your hand in his own, his smile so comforting that you feel all your worries melt away almost instantaneously.

“You don’t ever have to worry about asking me something like that. The answer will always be yes.”

He kisses you again, softly, and you can taste the tobacco on his tongue, making your head spin. His other hand comes to rest on your hip, squeezing it reassuringly as he takes your breath away.

You pull away first this time, readjusting his glasses which have slipped down his nose.

“Do you want to come back to my place?”

Edward’s face goes entirely red at your suggestion, and he stumbles over his words as he tries to string together a coherent sentence.

“I- um, well...”

You smile patiently, and he returns it somewhat hesitantly.

“I’ve- I’ve really enjoyed our night together, and I, just, um... I like you so much that, ah, I don’t really think we should rush anything. You’ve had a bit to drink, and I would hate to take advantage of that.”

Your eyes sting at his rejection as you attempt to muster up a tight-lipped smile, nodding stiffly. Edward’s smile drops.

“Oh dear, I’ve upset you, haven’t I?”

When you don’t quite meet his eyes, he sighs and gently holds your hand, giving you the chance to push him away. When you don’t, he pushes a little further, holding your chin between two fingers and tilting your head up to meet his gaze.

“I’m not lying when I say I like you. I really do, and I would hate to rush something as important as... that... especially when you’re intoxicated. I don’t want you to have any regrets. You're too special.”

Your heart leaps at his words, and you give Edward a small smile. It was never about him, or his comfort. He’s worried that you’d regret sharing yourself with him.

“I... yeah. I guess I’m just used to guys only expecting one thing out of a date. I really like you too, Eddie.”

He presses a chaste kiss to your lips, offering you his hand.

“Let me walk you home?”

You nod, leaning into his side.

Edward, of course, knows exactly where you live, but feigns ignorance as you take the lead back to your apartment. He'd know your building anywhere, thanks to his tendency to follow you home after work to ensure your safety, but being in front of it now, with you by his side, feels so fresh and new that it’s almost as if he’s seeing it for the first time.

It's falling apart, of course. Every building in Gotham that isn’t owned by someone extremely wealthy is. Crude graffiti adorns the crumbling brick walls, and he feels you stiffen up beside him when you notice a couple of shady guys, probably dealing drops, only a few feet away.

“It’s not exactly... the best area. Will you at least wait for your cab in my apartment? I really don’t want you getting mugged, or worse.”

Even with his impressive height, you’re worried Edward could be a target. His smart clothes definitely don’t help.

Edward can hardly believe his luck at finally being able to see the inside of your apartment. Of course, he’s seen it from outside your window when he’s perched on your fire escape late at night, but this is different. This is intimate. Even though he’d turned down your offer for sex, you’re still revealing such a personal aspect of yourself to him.

You trust him.

You lead him into the rundown building, apologising for the elevator that has been broken for months. He already knows that, but nods anyway.

“That’s okay. Five flights of stairs won’t do me any harm.”

When you finally make it inside, he perches somewhat awkwardly on your couch, his height making the piece of furniture appear ridiculously small. You curl up on the other side of the sofa, giving him his space as he books an Uber home.

The silence is thick, but comfortable. Edward is so engrossed in his phone that you’re finally given the chance to really study his features. The curve of his strong nose that holds up his glasses, the roundness of his cheeks, the softness of his jaw. The warmth of the numerous lamps scattered around your apartment light up his face with a soft glow that makes him look almost cherubic.

Edward glances at you, clearly feeling your intense gaze. He doesn’t seem anywhere near as nervous as usual, his smile relaxed.

“You okay?”

You prop your head up with your hand and nod, content.

“You’re so handsome, you know?”

His cheeks grow pink, his smile a little more shy. His voice is a whisper when he speaks.

“Thank you.”

You lapse into another comfortable silence as he returns to his phone, the smile never leaving his face. His phone chimes and he stands reluctantly.

“Cab’s nearly here...”

You walk him to the door, and he lingers for a moment.

“Can I-?”

You don’t give him time to finish, tugging him down by his collar and pressing your lips to his in another soft kiss. His hands find refuge at your waist, pulling you closer to him. You run your hands up his sides, and he reacts with a delicious shiver to your utter delight. Gathering your nerves, you tease his lower lip with a nibble, and he chases your mouth with a soft groan when you pull away from him.

You grin at his flustered state, his cheeks red and glasses fogged up, his sandy fringe ruffled beyond repair. You press one more lingering kiss to his lips before unlocking your door.

“You said your taxi’s nearly here?”

A chuckle escapes Edward, an octave lower than what you’re used to, and your knees go weak at the sound. He runs his hand through his hair, adjusting his glasses.

“You are so cruel.”

You glance down, immediately realising what he’s referencing, and giggle giddily.

“You’ll just have to wait for next time, I guess.”

He sighs, a dazed smile on his face.

“So, you want me to take you out again?”

You roll your eyes playfully, standing on your tiptoes so that your mouth is on level with his ear. You run a hand down his chest, your voice a sultry purr.

“I thought that much was obvious.”

Edward breathes out heavily through his nose and you smile innocently at him before kissing his cheek. The tension is shattered by the loud sound of his ringtone and you both jump back, the spell broken. Edward smiles apologetically at you when he answers the phone before panic spreads across his face. You can faintly hear a very angry man shouting at him on the other side of the line.

“Yes, yes! Sorry! I’ll be right there! Sorry!”

The other caller hangs up and you snort, pushing him gently out the door.

“Don’t let me keep you any longer from the most awkward ride home of your life. Are you gonna tell the driver you left him waiting so long because you were making out with your colleague?”

Edward stumbles over his words, the flush on his cheeks somehow deepening.

“I, ah, will not be doing that. Christ, I’m going to have to tip him even more than I was planning to, aren’t I?”

You giggle and Edward laughs too, giving you one last quick kiss before practically throwing himself down the stairs.

You close your door, sighing dreamily like the protagonist of a cheesy rom-com. You shoot Edward a quick text and sink onto your sofa, your heart thrumming. You'd gotten him to open up. You're going to go on another date. You kissed him. As far as first dates go, you’d chalk that up to being pretty successful.

The rest of your evening is spent texting back and forth with Edward, and when you finally roll into bed your brain is clouded with thoughts of him, his smile, the feeling of his lips on yours. You’re so focused on the image of Edward’s silly flustered smile after you kissed him for the first time that your rational thinking completely skips over one minor detail that you’ll have completely forgotten by the time you wake up.

How did he know what floor you live on?

#dano riddler #dano riddler x reader #edward nashton #edward nashton x reader #paul dano #riddler 2022 #riddler x you #batman 2022 #edward nashton x you #riddler x reader #danocel #dano!riddler #danonation #danonator

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bvidzsoo · 6 months

Text

Salty tears, agog whispers

Author: bvidzsoo

Warnings: suicidal thoughts, mentions of death, injuries, wounds, blood, manhandling, mentions of sex worker, human trafficking, swearing, ptsd

Pairing: Kang Yeosang x female reader

Word count: 19,9k

Summary: Kang Yeosang was forced to flee from his once very familiar life as he killed his father. He didn't mean to do it, but he harmed his mother and Yeosang just couldn't sit and watch anymore. You have never had an easy life. You were sold off at a young age, then bought, then sold, then bought again and sold again. It was a neverending cycle. You were just a toy for men to use and then disregard of; you wanted to disappear. And one man almost granted your wish, he killed you, or so he thought...and so did you. But an angel, a kind-hearted man, saved you from your terrible fate. You found a family, just like he did so many years ago. Yeosang was your angel. (Reader is called Jung Hana in the following oneshots.)

A/N: I'm baack!! *sighs* this part is a harsh one imo, nothing is very detailed but it's heavily packed with emotions; I hope I covered everything in the warnings. For better understatement, once again, I heavily advise you read San's part (why is it always about him haha) and the other parts too ofc because everything is tightly woven together and you'll have a better understanding of the whole story and world building!!! If you want to be tagged just let me know and share your thoughts! Happy reading!

Taglist: @pingyu-in-wonderland @marievllr-abg @lelaleleb @loveforred @horanghae8 @jeonghanscarat7 @orshii @mundayoonimnida @m3tavita @silentcry329 @icarusignite @cooljuni

Series Masterlist ↭ Previous Part

Everything was cold. Painfully cold. The heavy wind and salty water were freezing, numbing, as the sea pulled me further away from the cliff. From the shore. Away from the atrocious monsters called humans. A painful cough tore through my lungs as a wave crashed into my body, sending me down under, before I was pulled back to the surface by the same wave, nose and throat stinging from the salt. I wanted to scream. The pain was unbearable, but my throat was sore and my eyes so swelled up that I couldn’t see anymore. What would I scream for? For help? To be back between the evil claws of men? Then, I would rather accept my fate and succumb to the darkness. At least it was quiet there, safe, and finally…I’d have solitude. Nobody would touch me, nobody would degrade me, nobody would violate me anymore. That brought serenity upon my spasming muscles as they finally relaxed, finally giving in to the cold. There was no use in fighting against it. If the Gods didn’t find my life entertaining enough anymore, then they probably wanted to get rid of me right now. And that would mean a certain death. Lost in the sea, sinking down under as wave after wave washed me away. The thought didn’t seem too scary, nor sad, and I found myself smiling. For the first time in ages, I was smiling as another wave crashed into my body, whipping me around and around, nose and mouth filled with water. It didn’t hurt anymore as my brain seemed to shut down, the clatter of my teeth barely there. I wanted to see the sky for one last time before the darkness would take its claim on me, saving me from my misery. But when I opened my eyes, I couldn’t see much other than darkness. Everywhere. Above and around. Have I died, then? Did the Gods drag me to hell finally? Why was it still so painful then? So cold and terrifying? What if the man hasn’t had enough with me and came to fish me out the sea? What if terror would follow me even after my demise? What if I wasn’t allowed to ever rest? To ever be happy? What if the Gods hated me and were punishing me for all the wrongdoings I have done? Which weren’t many, but they hated sinners. Everyone said that. Everyone knew that. Did Heaven exist? What if they didn’t want me there? I would’ve chuckled if I could’ve, but my body wasn’t working anymore, it was dead weight. I couldn’t fight back anymore; I couldn’t hold on anymore. So, I closed my eyes and let a long breath out, emptying my lungs, not wanting to make the process longer than necessary. As if the Gods succumbed to my final cry of pity, a harsh wave sent my body underwater, cold tentacles wrapping around my body, pulling me even further under. It felt like I was wrapped up in an icy cocoon, void of air as my lungs started quickly screaming for oxygen. I didn’t feel the need to fight back, to try and swim up to the surface, to save myself. What was the point of living if life was so miserable?

If I was being used day and night to others pleasure, my wants and needs completely disregarded? What was the point of trying to save myself when I’ve been desperately wishing to die already, to just drop dead in the middle of the day or night, to be free of so much horror this awful life has put me through? If I would’ve had any tears left, I would’ve been sobbing by now, shouting in agony and asking ‘Why me?’. But I just smiled, choking on nothing but pure salt and water, body convulsing in awful ways despite my serene thoughts. There was no need to do this, to try and fight back, even if it was a normal human reaction. I welcomed it with open arms, content with the sudden turn of my fate. If the Gods wanted to drag me to hell, I wanted it too. If they wanted to do it right now, I thanked them for it. And it did feel like someone’s grip was around my wrist, strong and burning, as it pulled me towards themselves, but it didn’t feel like I was sinking anymore. It didn’t feel like I was being dragged towards Hell anymore, it felt like I was getting closer to the surface with each passing second and if my body wouldn’t have been on the verge of blacking out, on the verge of dying, I would’ve kicked and scratched, fighting the saving grip off myself. But my vision blackened and my lungs burned, skin like ice, as everything faded around me. Sounds muted, senses vaned and darkness engulfed my whole being, body going limp. Finally, I have let go.

I imagined this is what it felt like resurfacing from underwater once your lungs were left with no oxygen, gasping loudly and frantically for air as my eyes opened and I shot up in a sitting position. My heart was beating fast and my lungs burning as I took quick breaths, body panicked and on high-alert as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. It was so dark in here, not even the small window provided enough light for me to see my surroundings. My body was tense, muscles sore and screaming in pain as tears filled my eyes, realizing I was in a bed. A bed which had soft blankets and a pillow which smelled like flowers. I was back in the hands of my tormentors, but then why was this place rocking from left to right? Why did I hear waves crashing against the house? Why was the wind howling so loudly, sending chills down my back? As if reminded about my back, my body finally caught up with my brain and the pain finally seeped through my veins, to every inch of my abused body. It felt like my skin was being ripped open once again, cut with the sharp blade of the knife, abused and abused relentlessly. I couldn’t help the despaired cry which left my lips, clutching the blankets tightly in my balled-up fists as I bit my lower lip harshly, on the verge of crying out again from the aching of my whole being. It was so strong that my head started pulsing, making me light headed as I was about to fall backwards, but the only room to the door was quickly opened. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness by now, but the little light was welcomed as a figure walked inside the room, their actions rushed as they quickly closed the door behind them. I frowned, whimpering from the pain again, as I tried to make out who the person inside the room was, only to gasp when they stepped further inside, candlelight illuminating their face. It was a man. His features were very soft, almost as if he was carefully drawn and then painted by the Gods before he was brought to life. Perhaps in a different setting and in an earlier stage of life, this man wouldn’t have seemed like a threat. I have met too many angelic faced men with cruel intentions to not recoil from this one’s touch as his hand reached out, freezing midair as I scooted backwards. The man seemed shocked and sad at the same time, eyebrows lightly furrowing before he lowered his arm.

“My name is Kang Yeosang,” The man suddenly spoke up quietly, almost in a whisper, and his deep voice did not match his angelic features, “I’m somewhat of a doctor, I know how to heal certain sicknesses and how to patch people up, you don’t have to be scared of me. I’m just here to heal your wounds, but before I do that, I need to see if you have a fever.”

His words carried through the room, slowly reaching my brain just as Yeosang raised an inquiring eyebrow. How could I believe him? What if he was just lying for me to trust him and give in to him easier, allow him to touch me? I quickly shook my head and scooted further up on the bed, back colliding with the harsh wooden wall, a yelp leaving my lips at the throbbing ache which traveled through my spine at the contact. Tears sprung into my eyes instantly and I held a hand over my mouth, lips trembling in fear and pain.

“I’m sorry, I—” Yeosang seemed to be at a loss of words as he gazed at me with so much sadness on his face, “Your back is—very bruised, I know it hurts a lot. Your body has been through a lot, so just…please, let me heal you. I will only touch your forehead to see if you have a fever, I promise.”

Everything in my body screamed to scamper off the bed and run away, but where to? Where even was I? The candlelight wasn’t strong enough to light up the room, but it was enough to see how small it was and how little furniture was inside it. And the constant rocking wasn’t normal either. I dared to look up into the eyes of the angelic man and I found no malice in them. Could he be genuine? Or was he just a very talented actor? Before I could doubt him more, another painful throb racked my whole body and I whined, shutting my eyes tightly closed, head lightly falling forward. Yeosang didn’t reach out to me, but he tensed as he slightly moved closer to the bed. I waited a second for the pain to dissipate, but nothing happened, so I raised my head and looked at Yeosang, who was waiting patiently and keeping his distance. Did I have much of a choice? When was I even allowed to choose something? So, with a shuddering breath, I nodded slowly and Yeosang’s face instantly relaxed, seemingly glad that I allowed him to inspect my temperature. His hand reached out again and my muscles tensed as I brought my legs to my chest, body screaming at me to stop moving, but I felt exposed as he leaned closer. A small smile, which looked comforting, appeared on his lips as his fingers lightly brushed against my forehead, making me shudder, before his warm palm was pressed firmly against my skin. I stopped breathing as my lips trembled and gazed into the beautiful man’s eyes as his eyebrows furrowed, eyes slightly closing. I wasn’t cold anymore, but his palm was a lot warmer than I was and the press of his hand made my headache slightly disappear. But then, his hand was gone as soon as it came, and I looked at him surprised, not expecting him to keep his words. His eyebrows furrowed as he shook his head, mumbling something to himself as he suddenly started walking towards the door.

“I’ll be right back, don’t be scared.” He said softly and I just looked away, hoping he wouldn’t see the tears in my eyes. It wasn’t that easy to not be scared. So far, he seemed to be honest and do as he said, but I couldn’t trust him. Not yet, not when I was so vulnerable and he might be acting just for me to start trusting him. I couldn’t fall in his trap. Men were sly and they used anything they could against you, I wasn’t in the physical state to fight back if he tried to harm me more, not that I usually could. As I sniffed, wiping a few tears off my cheeks, the door opened again and I looked up alarmed, watching as Yeosang walked in with two different cups in his hands, shutting the door quietly behind himself. He paused for a second, his eyes running over my face before he quietly sighed, licking his lips as he spoke up, “I brought you two different herbal teas. One is to boost your immune system and help your wounds heal faster, and the other is to lessen your pain and allow your muscles to build themselves back up faster.”

I gulped once he finished explaining and my eyes looked between the two ceramic cups, gulping thirstily. It only occurred to me now how thirsty I was and how sore my throat felt. Even if I wanted to speak, I probably wouldn’t have been able to. I looked back at Yeosang, who was watching me expectantly but very patiently, slightly extending his hands towards me to take the two cups. What if he tried to poison me? To kill me? Wouldn’t then my wish become reality? I’d be finally free. The thought of that and the constant aching of my back and muscles made me take a rash decision as I blindly trusted this angel faced stranger and took the cup in his left hand, an encouraging smile appearing on Yeosang’s lips as I brought the cup to my lips. It was still steaming, the cup warm to my touch, and I smelled it first, only to be met with a pleasant flower like scent. It was sweet and I allowed the warm liquid to pour down my throat, almost crying at the soothing feeling, thankful to have something finally hydrate my wrecked body. The taste was velvety and sweet, like I had expected, for a herbal tea it didn’t taste too bad. Yeosang’s smile seemed to widen as he watched my reaction and then eagerly handed me the other cup, taking the empty one as I quickly drank the contents of this cup too, desperate for something which would relieve me of the pain. This one’s taste was bitter and sour at the same time, it made me gag a little bit as I shuddered, squeezing my eyes shut tightly. I heard a chuckle and as I opened my eyes, Yeosang had an embarrassed look on his face. He took the empty cup as I handed it to him and cleared his throat.

“Sorry, this one tastes a bit awful; I know, I haven’t found the matching ingredient for it yet to sweeten it.” I nodded upon Yeosang’s explanation and watched him for a second longer, taking in his features. He seemed tall, at least taller than me, and his frame was well-built but his muscles weren’t bulging uglily. His black hair was longer and beside the few strands which framed his chiseled face, the rest was pushed behind his ears. His round eyes watched me softly and his pink lips were pulled in a comforting smile, he looked like he was pitying me. I watched the discoloration next to his left eye and cheekbone, wondering what caused the redness of his flawlessly frail skin. He was tanner than me, but then again, I was as white as a wall. I averted my eyes, realizing that I was staring and he could see it and noticed how drowsy I started becoming. My headache became dull and I noticed how the aching of my body didn’t seem so unbearable anymore as I lay on my side, feeling Yeosang’s watchful eyes on me. He didn’t move and I didn’t have the energy to stay alert as my body succumbed to fatigue. My eyelids fluttered shut and I sighed loudly, feeling the weight of the warm blanket fall over my petite form. Darkness abducted me for a second time tonight, but this time it didn’t feel so menacing, so final.

Normally, I would have never slept through the night without waking up shaking in fear, having to wipe my tears away as my mind was plagued with nightmares. Normally, I wasn’t even allowed to sleep throughout the whole night as men came and went whenever they wanted to, no such thing as rest was allowed at the brothel. Or the torture house, as I had started referring to it years ago. But something in the teas Yeosang offered to me must’ve had some anesthetics as I hadn’t even woken up to the thunderstorm ripping through the place currently. There was something very comforting about storms, but I could never truly sleep during one, the thunder oddly reminded me of screaming men who berated you and then punished you for not listening to them. I only woke up when the faint clanking of porcelain registered not far from my head, which was still pounding, but not as painfully as last night. My eyebrows furrowed as I shoved my face further into the flower-scented pillow, until the aching of my back caught up with my brain and I realized where I was. Eyes flew open and I shot up, scrambling back into the wooden wall when I realized how close the angelic faced man was standing to me. Yeosang, was his name, I remembered. He looked just as startled as me as he stared back wide eyed, hands hovering in the air above the tray he was holding seconds ago. My heart was beating fast as I stared at him, biting my bottom lip as the entirety of my back was pulsing, thighs sore and right ankle throbbing.

“Oh,” Yeosang mumbled, looking lost as he looked between himself and the bed, he was standing by the bedside table, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you awake.”

I remained silent as I watched the man fumble around for a second until he stepped back, scratching the back of his head, “You really shouldn’t press your back against anything right now, Miss.”

He said he was a doctor; his constant attention to my actions was probably because he knew better what was wrong or right for my body, but I couldn’t move. I was scared to. What if he really was just acting to gain my trust and then use me like so many others have before him? My brain was screaming at me to move away from the wall, the pain was becoming too much, but then I would get closer to him, making it easier for him to reach out for me. I couldn’t do that.

“Alright,” Yeosang mumbled a little defeated when he realized I wouldn’t move and he looked around at a loss before his eyes fell back on the tray, “I brought your breakfast. We don’t have much food on the ship right now, but I saved some rice for you.”

Ship? For the first time, I allowed my eyes to look around the room, to take in my surroundings. Everything was made out of dark, sturdy wood. The room was relatively small, but still bigger than the room I was allowed to inhabit back at the brothel. It had the necessities only, the bed I was sitting on, a nightstand with a vase and a white lily in it, a desk which was full of chests of different sizes, a chair next to it, and a wardrobe. The house was still rocking from left to right, albeit a bit harsher compared to last night. But I wasn’t in a house, I wasn’t on land anymore. I was on a ship, trapped here even if I wished to run away. The thought sent panic through my veins and my breathing accelerated, but as I looked at Yeosang, the helplessness in his eyes somehow calmed me down. He really didn’t seem harmful, but I could never be too sure. He looked like he didn’t know what to do as he stared at me and I looked away, embarrassed. My eyes fell back on the nightstand and suddenly, my stomach rumbled loudly. I bit my lower lip and refused to look at Yeosang as my cheeks flushed. I haven’t even realized up until now how hungry I was.

“It’s simple rice and a boiled egg, you really should eat, Miss, your body is too weak. It won’t recover if you don’t feed it.” His voice sounded desperate as he spoke up and I nodded wordlessly, reluctantly reaching for the tray. But it pulled a muscle in my back and I hissed as a strong pang of pain traveled from my shoulders to the center of my back, making Yeosang slightly step towards me, but when my wide eyes looked up at him, he froze. He bowed his head and took a step back, a good four steps away from the bed now. He was standing in the middle of the room, hands clasped in front of him and head bowed. For a second, the image of him almost covering in front of me made me feel bad, but it didn’t last for long as I realized it could be an act. I reached for the bowl of food and fork, quickly pressing back against the wall, ignoring the pain, inhaling the food in mere minutes. Yeosang remained quiet as he watched me eat, I couldn’t care less what I looked like since I hadn’t had a meal in three days. Despite the rice being simple it tasted amazing, and it wasn’t because I was so famished, it was because the cook did a very good job. I ate the egg too, licking the fork clean once I was finished with my breakfast, looking back up at Yeosang with grateful eyes. I was still a bit hungry, but it was nothing I couldn’t deal with, I was used to it. A big smile appeared on Yeosang’s face and he nodded happily, reaching out to take the bowl, but I quickly placed it on the edge of the bed, scared of any contact. His smile slightly fell, but he quickly fixed his expression and took the bowl, placing it back onto the tray, and cleared his throat.

“Wooyoung is quite the cook, isn’t he?” I glanced at him but said nothing, and after waiting for a few seconds, he continued awkwardly, “Yeah, uh, I brought some more medicine. It’s the same from last night, but I added a little ginger into the sour one so it won’t taste good still, sorry. But it’s important for your immune system, anyways, it will make you sleepy but it’s good if you sleep, you heal faster, did you know that?”

Yeosang’s eyebrows raised in question and I shook my head no, the information new to me. Yeosang grinned and extended the two little cups towards me, which I took cautiously, making sure our fingers didn’t touch by accident. I drank the contents of it, cringing more from the taste of ginger, making Yeosang chuckle as he took the cups back once I placed them on the edge of the bed.

“I know not everyone likes ginger, it once made Mingi throw up when he was sick and I prepared a tea for him, but I personally really like it. It’s a bit spicy, but very tasty, and—” Yeosang sucked in a deep breath as I stared at him wide eyed, taken aback by his chatty personality, “Sorry, I ramble a lot. I figure you might not be used to that, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable by any means.”

I fought the muscles of my face as they threatened to pull up into a smile and instead lowered my head before I nodded, uncomfortable silence engulfing us. Yeosang hesitated for a few seconds before he cleared his throat, “You should lay down, take pressure off your back. I’m going to leave you alone until lunch. Nobody will bother you; do you want me to lock the door?”

If he locked the door, did it mean nobody but him could enter? He would also trap me in here, defenseless, but once again, we were on a ship. It’s not like I could run away. The most I could do was jump into the sea and die. The thought of dying, all of a sudden, didn’t sound as comforting as last night. It was foreign. Peeking up at Yeosang through my lashes, I nodded to let him know that I wanted him to lock the door. Yeosang humped and grabbed the tray off the nightstand, eyes falling on me when I moved to lay on my back, wincing and gasping at the pain, tears springing into my eyes. The headache was still dull, but it couldn’t be compared to the ache of the rest of my body, I could only hope the medicine would make its effects quickly, lulling me to sleep where I wouldn’t feel anything. I could only hope to have a dreamless rest, my body probably wouldn’t be able to cope with torment even in my dreams. I let out a shaky breath as I tried to relax against the sheets, but my back was burning, and a few tears started rolling down my cheeks.

“Stop laying on your back.” Yeosang’s soft voice suddenly turned stern and my eyes snapped up to look at him, his eyebrows were furrowed and he looked distressed. He also looked angry. I have misbehaved. Punishment would follow. My lips started trembling at the thought, knowing very well my body wasn’t able to take any more abuse, and all I could do was start crying harder, shaking my head no and looking at Yeosang pleadingly. His anger dissipated instantly and his eyes widened as he took a step towards me, but I whimpered and he froze again, looking confused and guilty at the same time, “I’m sorry, I didn’t—I didn’t mean to—please don’t be scared of me.”

His voice was pleading and his lips were downturned as his eyebrows furrowed, looking at me with sadness written all over his face, “I won’t harm you; I just don’t want your wounds to worsen. You should stop laying on your back and pressing it against the wall until it’s somewhat healed, please. Sleep on your front, if you can, or turn to the side—nothing will happen to you while you’re here, alright?”

His words did no good as my mind was ready for anything, ready to take the blows and the screams. I couldn’t help but cry more as I struggled to turn onto my stomach, muscles screaming in pain and body trembling. Yeosang watched me speechless, grip tightening around the tray. His words were my command, there were few things I wouldn’t do if he asked me. I buried my face in the pillow, my tears wetting it as I felt movement next to me and before I could turn and look, the door to the room opened and closed, a key locking it before I could hear Yeosang’s footsteps walking away hurriedly. He was the first man who didn’t yell at me for not listening to him. He was the first man who walked away instead of antagonizing me.

The day passed by in a blur, Yeosang was back when it was lunchtime but he didn’t stay for long and he didn’t say much. I took the medicine, a different kind of tea this time, and went back to sleep as the rocking of the ship was making me feel nauseous. Besides, I had nothing else to do and the dull ache of my body exhausted me beyond like anything else, even if all I did was lay in bed all day. But I woke up a few hours after lunch and found myself wide awake for the first time. The wounds decorating my back were pulsing, but it wasn’t as unbearable as the sharp pangs of pain which seemed to plague my system before the medicine I took during lunch. My head stopped thumping and for the first time it felt like it was truly above the surface. My thighs were sore and despite me trying to massage them nothing much happened. I also noticed for the first time the bandages wrapped around my ankle and around the few cuts on my biceps. I finally felt the soft cloth pressed against my back, and I realized Yeosang had bandaged me up the second he found me. My heart warmed at the thought, but I couldn’t trust him just yet. He could be acting. He could be playing me. He could be helping me just to sell me off once again once I get better. Men weren’t trustworthy, I have learned that a long time ago.

Having turned onto my side, I was facing the little circle window of the room and I could see the cloudy sky and the sea when a wave crashed against the ship. I was curious as to where we were, whether we were close to the shore or far away; I have never been on a ship before. I had no idea what the sea looked like once you were sailing it. I never had the luxuries of trying out such mundane things as travelling. It was truly depressing. Feeling curious and courageous, I pushed myself up into a sitting position and allowed my feet to dangle off the bed. My pink dress was dirty and torn, I hadn’t even thought about that until now. But I had no spare dresses, so I couldn’t change into anything else. I looked down at myself and noticed the fabric was ripped around my breasts, the outer layer missing, a sheer cloth the only thing hiding my body from view. I was used to being naked, it meant nothing to me, it brought no feeling of shame anymore. I took a deep breath and looked towards the window once again, dusk and the stormy clouds casted a gloomy veil over the room. It wouldn’t hurt anyone if I looked out the window, so I scooted lower on the bed until my feet touched the wooden floor. It was cold at first and I hissed as I stood, suddenly remembering all the shards I ran over when I was trying to get away from that monster. My feet were cut up. It made me wonder if there was at least one little nook on my body which was healthy, untouched currently. Probably not. I bit my lower lip as I slowly took off towards the window, it felt like I was walking on shards all over again, yet there were none here. I barely got to the desk, when I heard the door being unlocked and it swiftly opened behind me. My body went rigid, goosebumps erupting on my skin as someone walked inside, slamming the door shut behind them.

“Miss! You can’t do that!” The deep voice whisper-shouted at me and my hands curled up into fists, body starting to tremble as panic and annoyance oozed from Yeosang’s voice, “Your feet are all cut up!”

I heard him shuffling behind me, but I couldn’t move. I was frozen to my spot, closing my eyes and awaiting the repercussions of my mistakes. After all those years, I really should have known better. You never disobey your master. You never step out of line and you never do anything by yourself, unless you were previously told to. If a beating followed, I would truly deserve it. Yeosang never said I couldn’t walk around before, but he also never said I could. So I took a deep breath and braced myself for the blows as I heard him place the tray on the nightstand forcefully, footsteps storming towards me. My body couldn’t take much, perhaps, I would die tonight at the hands of the doctor. But the expected pain never came as suddenly I felt an arm bending my knees from behind meanwhile another arm went around my shoulders. I was hoisted up into the air before pulled against a firm chest, strong arms holding me snugly against his body as if I weighted nothing. I didn’t think my body could tense even more, but my muscles were screaming at me from how tense I was, it felt like my wounds were opening up once again. My whole body trembled as Yeosang’s warmth seeped into my cold skin, his flowery scent dominant now that I was so close to him. He seemed tense too as he hurried us over to the bed and I closed my eyes when I felt myself being moved again, and I still didn’t open them when I was sat on the edge of the bed, Yeosang’s breathing loud as he stood close. Too close. My body shivered at the loss of warmth and suddenly, the flowery scent was gone and so was the nerve-wrecking proximity of Yeosang. But his gaze was still on me, I could feel it, it was burning into the top of my head as it was lowered. My lips trembled as I fumbled with my fingers in my lap and as the silence was even more prolonged, I couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’m—I’m sorry—” My voice sounded hollow, croaked as I hadn’t spoken in two days. It seems like my throat was still healing from the gut wrenching screams I let out just days ago, “I didn’t—I didn’t know I wasn’t—”

“Miss.” Yeosang’s deep voice was soft and coated with anguish as he cut me off, “Don’t apologize. I didn’t tell you that you shouldn’t walk for now, I am the one sorry. I shouldn’t have frightened you like that nor carried you—I’m sorry, I just panicked. Your wounds are fragile and they can open up anytime, especially the ones on your feet.”

My skin tingled and didn’t feel as cold as before, but I didn’t dare look up at Yeosang. He exuded no negative feelings, but I didn’t want to test my luck. Eye contact could be a show of defiance, of provoking, and I hoped to avoid both.

“I brought you dinner and medicine.” Yeosang mumbled quietly and I nodded as I looked towards the tray on the nightstand. Indeed, there was some rice and stew in a bowl. I reached for it and the fork and quickly dug into it, eyes filling with tears. I sniffed a few times as I devoured my dinner, so thankful to have three meals a day after so many years. My tummy hurt from so much food, but I refused to let even a drop of rice go to waste. Food was precious and I wasn’t going to act ungrateful even if my body refused to intake anymore. When I finished my dinner I dared to look up at Yeosang, and surprisingly he was smiling as he grabbed the two cups of tea. I quickly placed the bowl back on the tray and took the cups from him, hurriedly chugging them down. I noticed another jug in plus and figured it was just water as Yeosang went to place it on the nightstand instead of the tray. My eyes widened once I realized there was no sour taste this time and Yeosang smiled sheepishly, taking the cups from me and placing them back on the tray.

“I finally found the combination,” He said with a chuckle, grinning, “It’s unfortunate that it’s because of your injuries, but it’s also good because from now on it’ll taste good.”

I nodded once and watched Yeosang as he slightly blushed before turning around and grabbing something off the wooden chair. They were clothes. He turned back to face me and took a step towards me. My body tensed, but I didn’t scramble away like before. Yeosang seemed hesitant to take another step, but as I watched him wide eyed, he did, and then extended his hand. I looked at the clothes before back at him, confused.

“I figured you’d like some fresh clothes, yours are…quite damaged.” Damaged was a nice way of saying it, I took the clothes from him with a nod of gratitude, “There are two girls on the ship, so the undergarments and the pants are from them, I figured those would fit you better than mine. I also brought a clean shirt of mine, you can feel free to wear it, I have many more of those.”

Two other girls on the ship? What kind of ship was I on if only two other girls were here besides me? Perhaps I didn’t want to know the answer to that. I bowed my head at Yeosang once again and he smiled, pausing for a second. I placed the clothes next to me on the bed and gripped the front of my damaged dress, tearing the fabric apart, not that it mattered much. That dress was worth nothing at this point. I wore nothing underneath it and goosebumps erupted on my skin as the cool air hit my exposed chest. A gasp left Yeosang’s lips and as I looked up, his face was red and he whirled around rigidly, body tense. My eyebrows furrowed as I paused, looking at him confused. What happened? Did I do something wrong? Did he…not like my body?

“Why…” My voice faltered as I stared at the back of Yeosang’s head, “Why did you turn around?”

“Why—” Yeosang almost exclaimed, voice alarmed, “Because it’s inappropriate for me to watch a woman undress! You’re naked, I—I need to offer you privacy.”

My eyes remained on his strong back, mouth slightly opening in amazement. I watched as the back of his neck flamed, ears turning red too. This man had turned around because I was undressing. Because I was exposing myself to him. Because he was offering me privacy? My lips started trembling and I took in a shaky breath, about to speak up, but Yeosang beat me to it, “I will see you in the morning, Miss, sleep well.”

Sleep well? Since when was the last time anyone wished me that? My eyes were glued to Yeosang as he stormed out of the room, not even once trying to peek at me, he even brought his left hand up to shield his eyes from my naked torso. As soon as the door was locked, I broke down, tears falling freely as my body rocked with sobs, hands working gently to undress myself, having to stand for a little while to wear the undergarments and the pants. I have never been offered privacy before. Not by men, not by women. I couldn’t help but allow my heart to warm a little, silencing the voices in my head. If he truly was just acting, why would he show respect? Men never did that, not even when they were acting. As I buttoned up Yeosang’s clean shirt, I realized that too smelled like flowers. As I got under the thick covers, I couldn’t help but cry myself to sleep as my body has never felt so warm and comfortable before. The alarm bells silent in my mind for the first time.

It was my second day on the ship, and despite the freshness of my wounds, they didn’t hurt as much as I was expecting them to. Yeosang truly was a doctor, his teas were already making their effect. I still couldn’t trust him, but the way the burning of my back would fade into a rhythmic pulsing after each time I drank the medicine was confirmation enough that he wasn’t lying about his identity. I felt grateful, but I couldn’t trust him just yet. It was too soon. I was laying on my side, gazing out the window, thoughts wrapped up in a fantasy world where I was on a boat, out on the sea fishing, on a blazing hot summer day. I haven’t been to my home Kingdom in ages, I wondered if my parents were still alive, if they even remembered me. I couldn’t remember them much, but I could recount the path to our house, and I still remembered the days when my father would take me fishing with himself. These were the only memories of my childhood; these were the only escape my mind could grab onto when things became too hard to cope with. I slightly tensed when I heard knocking on the door, wondering who it could be since Yeosang never knocked before unlocking the door. It also couldn’t have been lunch time, he usually brought food later in the afternoon. I grimaced as I quickly sat up when the door was unlocked and watched with wide eyes as Yeosang slipped inside the room, peeking out cautiously before he closed the door softly and locked it again. Whenever he brought food he didn’t lock the door. My heartbeat picked up as I stared at him, taking in his attire. He wore black leather pants with a black sleeveless t-shirt tucked inside them, a brown leather belt snug around his waist. His black hair was pushed behind his ears and I just noticed two bobby pins securing them. My eyes fell onto the tray he was carrying and my heartbeat picked up even more as there was a big bowl of water and a few rags next to it. What did he plan on doing to me?

“It’s not yet lunchtime.” Yeosang spoke up, seemingly frozen in front of the door, “But I have to change your bandages so that your wounds don’t get infected. It’s the only free time I have from my duties, I hope I’m not intruding.”

Intruding on what? I almost chuckled, but instead just lowered my gaze to the bed and shook my head no, making Yeosang nod to himself. He walked further inside the room and placed the tray down on the nightstand. It looked heavy, the muscles of his biceps were bulging until he placed the tray down. Wasn’t he doing too much for me? At the brothel no one would even check up on me, let alone try and change my bandages. I pushed the warm blanket off my body and sat up fully, scooting towards the edge of the bed, not quite knowing how Yeosang wanted to proceed with this. I watched as he walked up to the desk and opened the largest chest, which was full of gauze. He took one roll into his hand before closing it, then opened the one to its left, slightly smaller than the previous chest. This one was filled with vials and different little metallic containers. Yeosang’s lips pursed as his eyes ran over the different contents, until they stopped on a black tin can. He hummed and took that one out, closing the chest and opening the smaller one in front of it, swiftly grabbing a lidded tube which contained a yellowish liquid. Yeosang turned to face me and froze for a second, seemingly taken aback by me watching him and waiting for him at the edge of the bed. My face remained expressionless as he blushed, even though I was trying very hard not to smile. He seemed cute for a second, until my brain decided to remind me that he was just acting. Trying to gain my trust.

“So, uhm, I will start by patching up your feet,” He mumbled as he came closer, making my body slightly tense at the proximity. He gently placed down every item in his hands on the floor before grabbing the bowl and rags and doing the same. I watched with furrowed eyebrows as he sat on the floor, right where my legs were dangling. Why was he sitting there? Shouldn’t he have gotten on the bed instead?

“Is it fine if I touch your feet?” My eyebrows furrowed as Yeosang looked up at me expectantly, and I nodded dumbly, trying to asses the situation. Why was he even asking for permission? He was only touching my feet, “Alright, I will clean your feet with water first and then apply a minty ointment on them, it might sting at first, but it’s very good for inflammation. It kills anything which isn’t supposed to be inside your wounds.”

The last bit sounded disgusting and my face scrunched up involuntarily, making Yeosang chuckle. He scooted a bit closer and then looked up in my eyes, gaze soft, “Ready?”

“Ready.” I found myself whispering back, enticed by his gaze and his deep voice, making Yeosang’s eyes widen at the sound of my voice. He smiled to himself before he quickly looked down and tentatively touched my left foot, his hands slightly colder than my own skin. I flinched a bit and Yeosang muttered a quiet sorry, before he grasped my foot firmly, raising it so he could inspect it. His eyebrows slightly furrowed and then he dipped the rag into the water and quickly got to work, cleaning my foot.

“They look a lot better compared to when I found you, Miss.” His voice sounded happy as he informed me, gently pressing against my skin here and there with the rag. The water was warm, and it felt actually nice to have my feet cleaned, after walking on it, I’m sure I had drawn a little blood. Yeosang’s calloused hands were soft and very careful as he slightly massaged my ankles once he disregarded the rag and then grabbed the tin can, opening it with one hand. He scooped out a copious amount of white ointment and then gently started rubbing it against the cut wounds. My eyebrows furrowed and I hissed as I went to yank my feet away, but Yeosang was faster and caught my ankles, keeping me in place. It did sting, a lot, actually, but as soon as it came it was already gone, leaving me flabbergasted.

“It’s an uncomfortable feeling, I know. I’ve had my fair share of this ointment as well,” Yeosang explained as he applied some more, this time the sting less intense, “But trust me when I say this…it does wonders, your feet will be healed in no time!”

Yeosang’s little exclamation made my eyebrows raise in surprise and he blushed again as he looked up at me, averting his eyes quickly as I tried to fight the smile off my lips. How was it possible that he could make me smile so easily? Why did my body feel like it was buzzing with life in the mere presence of him? He was a man I couldn’t trust yet, but his demeanor made that rather hard to accomplish. However, the walls built around my heart and mind were stronger than this, they wouldn’t allow me to slip and blindly offer my trust to him. I just couldn’t.

“Your feet are all done.” Yeosang said with a smile and scooted back, looking up at me, “How are your thighs? Still bruised, right?”

I nodded wordlessly and lowered my head, hiding my embarrassment as Yeosang just hummed and got up from the floor, walking to the desk. I peeked at him and watched as he opened the drawer of the desk and grabbed a black tube before he walked back to me. My body tensed at the proximity again; I couldn’t help it; it was a subconscious answer at this point. If Yeosang noticed, he said nothing about it, just placed the tube on the nightstand and pointed at it, “You should smear this over the bruises—after I have left, of course!”

He was quick to add that in, eyes widened, probably remembering how quick and unashamed I was to undress in front of him. I couldn’t help but grin and as Yeosang blushed, again, I bit my lower lip and averted my eyes, waiting for what he wished to do next. Yeosang cleared his throat and pushed the stray hair strands out of his face as he leaned down to grab the wet rag and the vial of yellowish liquid, “I’m sorry, but I have to clean your back too. You—you have to take off your shirt for that…”

Yeosang and I looked into each other’s eyes as his words seemed to hang in the air between us, filled with tension. I had no problem with taking off my shirt, but he seemed uncomfortable. It was very strange, uncommon. Yeosang’s eyebrows were furrowed as I went to unbutton the shirt and he quickly looked away, “I normally wouldn’t ask such thing of you, Miss, but there’s no other way to treat the wounds on your back. You can lay down on your front or stay sitting and hold the shirt to your chest, whichever makes you less uncomfortable.”

“I don’t have a problem with you seeing me naked.” I couldn’t help but let the words slip out as I stared at Yeosang’s profile. He sucked in a harsh breath and shook his head, eyebrows furrowing.

“That’s—that’s not how you’re supposed to think, Miss.” Yeosang mumbled and my own eyebrows furrowed, “It’s your body. Nobody should be able to see you so vulnerable unless you want them to. Everyone needs to be respected, you included.”

I stood staring at him, mouth slightly falling open as his words whirled around in my head, something deep in my chest breaking. Respect? I can’t remember a time when anyone respected me. The tears in my eyes were quick to surface, but I managed to keep them from falling, managed to gulp and suppress the urge of wanting to sob into his chest. He was being so nice. He was treating me like a human being, not like an item.

“I’m making you feel uncomfortable.” I suddenly realized, “I keep acting like a harlot.”

“Miss, don’t say that!” Yeosang was quick to interject, eyes widening as he finally looked at me. There was a fire in his eyes, so strong and burning, that for a second I was left breathless. He looked angry, sad, and determined at the same time as he shook his head, “Don’t ever say that about yourself! Don’t let anyone make you feel something you’re not. And don’t degrade yourself.”

The intensity in his eyes made me nod without much thought, drinking in his words. Even if I wanted to contradict him, I wouldn’t have been able to. He seemed to firmly believe his words, and I couldn’t help but believe him. I settled for a simple question, instead, “Do you mind if I don’t lay down?”

It brought back unpleasant memories and I couldn’t do it right now, not when my mind felt like a mess. When my heart couldn’t decide what to stand for. Would a man who was acting be so sincere and fired about what a woman calls herself?

“Of course not, as long as it makes you comfortable, I am comfortable too.” Tears sprung to my eyes again and I nodded, biting my lower lip and averting my gaze from him. My fingers went to grip the buttons of my shirt again, but this time I paused, and cleared my throat quietly.

“Then, I’m going to take off my shirt.” Yeosang said nothing as he turned around, his back facing me. I stared at him for a few seconds before undoing the buttons, fingers lightly shaking from the flood of emotions I was experiencing after such long time of feeling nothing but numbness. These were positive feelings; I couldn’t even decide whether to cry or laugh. Instead, I settled on chewing my lower lip nervously, fighting those tears from falling. My chest felt heavy, but I ignored it as I turned to the side, facing the wall, and pressed the shirt to my chest to make Yeosang feel comfortable, concealing my naked chest, “I’m ready.”

“Good, I will sit behind you then.” Yeosang informed and turned to the left without looking at me, keeping his eyes fixed to the floor. I watched him closely, the red spots on his temple and cheek catching my eyes again. I wondered what those were. I have never seen anything like it on anyone else. I turned my head towards the wall when I couldn’t watch Yeosang anymore and I felt the bed dip behind me, flowery scent invading my nostrils as my body tensed up once again. My arms were covered in goosebumps and I took in a shaky breath when Yeosang shifted closer, his knee lightly grazing against my waist. I knew he had to get close in order to change the bandages, but it still felt nerve-wracking.

“May I touch you? Are you alright?” A stray tear rolled down my cheek and I nodded wordlessly, knowing that my voice would betray me right now. His attentive behavior and constant asking for consent was becoming too much. I felt Yeosang sighing behind me, his hot breath hitting my left shoulder, before careful fingers started peeling the gauze off my back. I shuddered at the feeling, despite it not being painful, my skin burned as the protective layer disappeared. I felt exposed and I couldn’t help but sniff loudly when the gauze was fully off my back. Yeosang paused, “Are you okay?”

“Yes, continue.” I whispered, clutching the shirt tightly in my hands as I felt Yeosang moving behind me. The dirty gauze was dropped to the floor and I dared take a glance at it, it was almost fully covered in blood. The sight made me nauseous. I should’ve listened to Yeosang, he was probably trying to avoid this from happening, but I couldn’t help how my body reacted when it thought it was in danger.

“I’m going to clean your back now, may I?” I nodded and felt the press of the rag against my raw skin, hissing as even the warm water made it sting. My back was burning as Yeosang carefully washed it clean, having to scrub gently in some places, but I could take it. My body has been through so much worse. He was doing this to help me too, I would never complain.

“I know it hurts, I’m sorry, but I have to thoroughly clean it otherwise it will get infected and then I can’t help you anymore, Miss.” Yeosang explained and I nodded in understatement, realizing I have never told him my name. That’s why he kept calling me Miss. I knew his, meanwhile he didn’t know mine, yet he never asked nor demanded for it.

“I’m going to pour some oil like serum on your back now, it won’t sting like the minty one.” I heard him open the vial, it made a quiet sound when it was popped open, “It has aloe vera in it, so it’s supposed to calm the burning feeling and it’s also an amazing antioxidant for open wounds. Your wounds aren’t deep enough to be stitched up, that’s why we have to take close care of them, Miss.”

“Alright, thank you for telling me.” I voiced my gratitude for the first time and Yeosang hummed lowly, a sound which tinged my cheeks red. His voice could get incredibly deep, it was quite unexpected.

“May I proceed then?” Yeosang inquired quietly and I nodded, biting my lower lip as he poured the serum over my wounds, fingers carefully massaging it into the skin. It slightly stung, but I was surprised at the warm feeling which engulfed my whole back as Yeosang kept rubbing it deeper into the wounds. It felt so good, the pain finally subsided for even a little bit and I could feel my body relaxing, muscles finally crying out in relief as I let out a shaky breath. My head hung low and more tears started falling down my cheeks. It felt so warm and relieving, I wanted to thank Yeosang a million times, but instead, I asked the question which was burned to the forefront of my mind.

“Why do you keep asking for consent when you want to touch me?” Yeosang’s fingers froze mid massage and I tensed slightly, wondering if I pissed him off this time, if he would break and show his true intentions. But nothing happened, he resumed his ministrations and then sighed long and deeply.

“Because I keep touching you.” His words held a finality to them, they were hard but not harsh, “Because if you told me to stop, I would. Because I would never touch you inappropriately or against your will. I’m a doctor and my duty is to heal you, Miss, not damage you more. And even still…I would never lay a finger on you…I just—I couldn’t hurt you—or anyone. No human being is capable of doing such horrible things like what was done to you, I—I’m sorry. I promise to heal you and then let you go, Miss, once we hit land you’ll be free.”

His words sounded too good to be true. As if I was in a dream. As if he was a prince talking to his princess. And he sounded so genuine. I couldn’t find anything but sincerity in his voice and that just made my lungs feel even more restricted, brought more tears into my eyes. People like him existed? They were real? Could he be not acting? As his fingers disappeared I knew he was done massaging the serum into my skin and Yeosang leaned down to grab the fresh gauze.

“I’ll wrap this around you and you’re good to go.” He said and I couldn’t help but start crying, trying to keep quiet, but I couldn’t when hiccups started leaving my mouth. Yeosang seemed alarmed, thinking he had hurt me, but I just muttered for him to continue and ignore me, too overwhelmed by my own feelings. He worked quickly, probably scared that he was the cause of my breakdown, and while he indeed was, it wasn’t from any ill-intention. It was because for the first time in my life I felt like I was being treated like a human being. Like I was being respected and given a choice.

“My—my name is—” I spoke up between sobs, wiping the tears off my cheeks only for new ones to roll down, “It’s—Y/N.”

Yeosang sucked in a harsh breath of air before humming, careful to not touch my skin as he wrapped the gauze around my torso. I allowed the shirt to fall to my lap, he couldn’t see me from behind, it was fine, “Glad to meet you, Y/N.”

His voice was sweet as he said my name and I could hear the smile in it, making me sniff even more and cry harder, “You too, Yeosang.”

When he was done with the gauze, he tied it tightly against my back, patting his hands down to make sure it fit correctly against my small form. I felt him moving behind me and his warmth and flower like scent disappeared as he got off the bed, but didn’t move. He was waiting for me to dress myself. I bit my lower lip and tried to stop crying, but it was hard, as I wore his shirt and did the buttons with a shaky hand.

“I’m from the Sun Set Kingdom.” I muttered as I did the last button, Yeosang moved to place the items he used before back to their place. He made a surprised sound and then looked at me with a smile, ignoring how pathetic I looked right now, tears still flowing down my cheeks.

“Me too!” He seemed happy as he closed his chests filled with medicine, “We’re both far away from home, then.”

I nodded and watched as Yeosang gathered the dirty rugs and bowl of water, placed them back on the tray and stood up straight, walking to the door. He unlocked it and before he opened it, he peeked back at me over his shoulder, “Don’t forget about the ointment for your thighs.”

“I won’t.” I nodded as he slipped out the door, locking it behind him before he walked away. I face planted into the pillow and allowed the sobs to wreck my body, for my heart to ache just like the rest of my body.

My body felt exhausted for the rest of the day after Yeosang placed on the new bandages, my mind wrapped up with thoughts and heart clenching with unwanted feelings. I didn’t know how to feel anymore. I knew I couldn’t trust Yeosang so quickly, but he sounded genuine. His eyes reflected nothing but honesty and purity. Would he treat me so gently if he was just acting? Would he get mad or tense even at the little implications of why I was in such state? Would he respect me so much if he truly was just acting? I couldn’t tell what was real or not anymore. I have never been shown so much care and respect before, my body and mind yearned for it. It screamed out for Yeosang’s tenderness and warmth. He radiated calmness and safety. I have barely known him for three days, yet I wanted nothing more but ask him to protect me from the horrors of the world. Would he do that? Could he do that? Everything hurt as I tossed around sleepless, eyebrows furrowed and lips parted in constant huffs as my mind kept racing with questions. Dinner was hours ago; the medicine has made its effect and the pain felt dull. The rocking of the ship wasn’t as bothersome as up until now, it didn’t make me feel nauseous anymore. Perhaps I was getting used to it. Or perhaps the waters have calmed down, the storm passing by us. I yearned for fresh air, but I was scared of what the men on this ship would do to me. Or was everyone like Yeosang? My ears perked up when I heard shuffling just outside the door, body tensing when I heard a faint knock. It was quiet, barely there, and I gripped the blanket and pulled it up to my nose, curling up in a ball despite Yeosang’s warnings not to do so. I could only hope the wounds wouldn’t bleed. My heart started thumping wildly as the key was inserted into the keyhole, slowly, carefully turning without making any sound. Yeosang never bothered me after dinner. Did someone else take the key? Did he give it to someone else? Of course, I have started trusting him too fast and now I was about to get treated like on the mainland. My breath stuttered and I tried to make myself even smaller as the door cracked open just a little, dim light flooding inside the room. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and stopped breathing altogether. If I made no sound, perhaps they would think I wasn’t here.

“Y/N,” The deep voice was familiar, “It’s Yeosang.”

I released a deep breath and opened my eyes, peeking at him as he swiftly entered the room and quickly locked the door. He stood frozen in front of it as we stared at each other, both of our eyes wide, “You shouldn’t curl up like that…”

He whispered, eyebrows furrowed, breaking the tense atmosphere. I nodded and straightened my body, laying on my side, heart still beating fast. Yeosang scratched the back of his head and took a step further inside the room, seeming very hesitant and nervous. It was rubbing off on me as I waited tensely for him to say anything else.

“I’m sorry, I know this is unexpected, but—” Yeosang cleared his throat before continuing in a whisper, “Nobody besides myself and the two other women know about your presence on the ship. If I keep sleeping in Jongho’s room they will come and inspect mine, thinking something was wrong. The other pirates started getting suspicious already, I can’t—I have to sleep in here, Y/N. It’s my room, you know.”

My brain seemed to be hung up on one thing only, “Pi—pirates?”

I’ve only heard about them when the other ladies at the brothel would whisper about them, dreading their time with them. They sounded ruthless and aggressive, had little care for anyone else besides themselves. I exhaled shakily as Yeosang approached the bed, but stood at the end of it.

“Yes, we’re Ateez.” Yeosang answered and watched me expectantly, as if I was supposed to know what that meant. But I have never heard of that name before, so I just raised my eyebrows, lowering the blanket from my nose. There was no need to hide myself anymore.

“Do you not know Ateez?” Yeosang asked when I stared wordlessly and I quickly shook my head no, “Oh, well then, uhm, yeah. We’re like…well-known for the things we do, you know? On the sea, we’re—quite famous? I mean, people tend to stay away from us because we’ve created a reputation for ourselves and our Captain is quite fearless. He’s a well-respected man amongst pirates.”

I nodded and chewed on my bottom lip, taking in his words, “Are you dangerous? Do you hurt people?”

My voice sounded too small, but I couldn’t help the shudder which followed. I knew Yeosang saw it as he rubbed his chin, trying to smile, “We never hurt innocent people—we don’t hurt women.”

I averted my eyes when his stare felt too much, eyes boring into mine. I understood what he was saying. He wouldn’t hurt me, but I couldn’t be so sure of that just yet. I nodded without looking at him and he walked further inside his room, headed towards the wardrobe.

“I will sleep on the floor, don’t worry—”

“I can’t let you do that, it’s your own room.” I quickly interjected, sitting up quickly, wincing at the burn of my muscles. I should be more careful; my wounds weren’t even half healed.

“I’d rather you feel comfortable, Y/N, sleeping on the floor is nothing I can’t handle.” Yeosang’s lips pulled into a reassuring smile and I gulped, looking down at the bed. His eyes were soft. And once again, he was putting me before himself. Wanting me to feel comfortable. He was caring about how I felt, instead of how he would feel.

“Please,” I said quietly, looking up into his eyes, “I would feel horrible if you slept on the floor. It’s—it’s the least I can do to show gratitude for everything you’ve done for me.”

“I haven’t even done anything, Y/N, I’m just healing you.” Yeosang’s eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head, “It’s my duty as a doctor.”

“I know,” I pressed, biting my lower lip, “But I—please, just let me do this. I have no money to pay you.”

“I don’t need money.” Yeosang muttered, eyes lit up with a fire I couldn’t recognize, “I just want to see you healthy and walking away from here.”

I said nothing as my heart clenched and I licked my lips, staring into Yeosang’s eyes pleadingly. I really had nothing with what I could pay him back, this was the least I could do. It was his room after all. I didn’t want to deny comfort from him, he wouldn’t deserve it. In this moment, I decided to blindly trust him. Yeosang seemed to be fighting with himself, eyebrows furrowed as he ran his fingers through his hair, which was framing his face without the bobby pins. He glanced back at me and then suddenly sighed, shaking his head, “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” My voice sounded firm for the first time as I nodded and Yeosang nodded back, slowly approaching the bed. I scooted closer to the wall and laid on my back, making space for him. The bed wasn’t big, but I was small and so Yeosang had enough space. I closed my eyes as I felt the bed dip and then the blanket was slightly lifted as Yeosang sat on the edge of the bed. He shuffled around for a bit and then his body was laying next to mine, mirroring my stance, blanket pulled over his body too. I tensed without meaning too, breath catching in my throat for a second, used to this, yet the feeling so unfamiliar. His warmth seemed to quickly envelope mine and I found myself breathing in his familiar flower scent. Yeosang didn’t seem to be tense, he was staring up at the wooden ceiling, jaw clenching and unclenching. I turned my head and allowed myself to stare at his profile in the darkness, hoping he wouldn’t notice. Despite the bed being small and Yeosang a buffer man, his body never touched mine. Not even his hands as they were intertwined and placed on his stomach. He seemed to be deep in thought and my eyes traced the outline of his sharp nose, eyes having long adjusted to the dark. His lips were slightly parted and as he blinked, he suddenly turned his head and looked at me. I jumped and quickly turned my head away, towards the wall, embarrassed. Yeosang made no sound and didn’t move as he continued looking at me. My cheeks were burning and I cleared my throat, fingers flexing and unflexing as I turned my head to stare at the ceiling. Yeosang didn’t look away and I took a shaky breath, so many feelings stirring inside my heart. Any other men would’ve been on top of me by now. They wouldn’t even bothered asking before they got in the same bed with me. Yeosang didn’t even ask, he offered to sleep on the cold, hard floor. My eyebrows furrowed at the thought and I couldn’t help the words which bubbled out.

“I was kidnapped by a man at a young age and was soon sold off to a family.” My voice sounded too loud in the quiet room, but it was barely above a whisper, “The family wasn’t too bad, until the father started becoming handsy. I ran away, and the man who kidnapped me found me somehow and took me with himself once again. But this time he sold me off to an old man, who was—not a good person. I lived with him for two years, until he died. Until I—I—killed him.”

My hands started shaking as all the repressed memories were resurfacing. Yeosang sucked in a sharp breath next to me, but I continued, a newfound braveness seeping through my veins, “His son found me and well—I survived. Barely, but I did. I was forced to be his maid for too long, and when he got bored he made me work at an Inn. I don’t know how it happened, fate was probably laughing in my face, but the man who kidnapped me showed up again at the Inn—years after, he recognized me. I felt so helpless as he took me with himself and sold me off again. To a brothel this time, and I’ve been working there up until three days ago. My last client—he wanted me to go to his house. I’ve always been afraid of him; he’s always been so scary and just—not sane. I didn’t do anything, but he just—started to take his anger out on me. Promised I’d never see the daylight ever again. I don’t know how I did it, but I managed to fight him off and run away, but he found me at the cliff. He didn’t even think twice before pushing me down. I think he once said I resembled his late wife whom he hated, it was a long time ago, I don’t quite remember. I was sure I was going to die in the sea that night, you know? And when I felt someone pulling me to the surface—I wanted nothing more than for the sea to swallow me up, to save me from humans. But I don’t know anymore how to feel. What to think. You’re—not like them. You’re gentle and you respect me. Want to heal me, help me. I want to trust you, Yeosang, but the voices in my head keep whispering that you’re just acting to earn my trust, I can’t help it.”

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, biting my lower lip as I didn’t dare move. Yeosang seemed stiff next to me, I couldn’t hear him breathing anymore. I was afraid to look at him, so I didn’t, I just stared up at the ceiling and blinked rapidly, the tears in my eyes sudden. I didn’t want to cry, but my chest felt heavier the longer the silence stretched between us. And then, finally, Yeosang sighed. Deep and long. I heard the movement before I felt a warm hand grabbing mine underneath the blanket. My body felt too exhausted to react, I couldn’t help but cling onto Yeosang’s warm hand, fingers intertwining with his. Nobody has held me like that before. So firmly yet tenderly.

“We all make mistakes, you had to kill that man because he gave you no other choice.” His words surprised me and a few tears were quick to roll down my cheeks. I had always felt so horrible about what I had done. I wasn’t a murderer, yet I took a life. I wasn’t a God, yet I was playing God. I wished for forgiveness every day after that, but I never got an answer. I have sinned so severely that not even the Gods wanted to give me another chance. I was doomed a long time ago, yet I could never truly accept my fate. Yeosang’s words carried weight, almost as if he understood the feeling, “Sometimes we’re pushed to do things we never knew we were capable of doing. My mother placed me on this ship and paid a lot of money for the Captain to take me in after I’ve done something horrible—after I—I killed my father.”

My heart stuttered for a second and I felt my grip tighten around Yeosang’s fingers, lips parting in surprise.

“If he wasn’t abusive I would’ve never hurt him, but he almost killed my mother. He beat me up too and I just—snapped. It was my mother’s way of saving me by sending me here. I was lucky enough to find a family here within the nine pirates.” I quickly wiped my tears with my free hand and turned my head, to look at Yeosang. He turned his head too, eyes glistening with unshed tears. My breath caught in my throat for a moment, he looked so soft. So warm and gentle, “When you’re all healed up and healthy, Y/N, you are free to go. To get off this ship on a land where nobody knows you, where you can start again. New. Build a life for yourself. Somewhere you’ll be safe.”

“Thank you.” I whispered and Yeosang nodded, determination coating his eyes as he squeezed my hand, before turning his head away and slowly retracting his hand from mine.

“You shouldn’t sleep on your back, Y/N.” He muttered as he turned onto his right side, back facing me. I couldn’t help but smile as I turned onto my left side, facing the wooden wall. Despite being underneath the same blanket, Yeosang’s presence didn’t feel threatening.

“I know.” I whispered back before closing my eyes and allowing the gentle rocking of the ship to lull me into a deep sleep.

Things seemed to change after Yeosang and I started sleeping in the same bed. I wasn’t so tense around him anymore and my body stopped reacting to him as if he brought danger with himself. Yeosang always remained respectful and careful. He never stepped out of line and never touched me unless it was necessary, and even still, he always asked for consent. A week has passed since he found me and saved me and my wounds were healing just fine. My feet felt as good as new, nothing but little scars decorating them. The ointment was like magic and the bruises have been gone from my thighs in just a few days. However, my back was still in the healing process, three wounds still not having fully healed, but I was doing better. The pain had turned into discomfort and the wound would only burn when the aloe vera serum was massaged into it. My muscles have finally eased up and I could move my body freely. I could barely recognize my body, and my mind as well. I was still alert when I heard movement outside the door, but I didn’t flinch nor tense anymore when Yeosang would come close. I stopped questioning his genuineness and allowed my heart to trust him. He would constantly reassure me that he had no malicious intentions and I believed him. I hoped the safe haven he had created would never break, that he truly was the man who he seemed to be. I knew I wouldn’t survive it if he was lying, but I have also decided that if Yeosang wasn’t the man he preached himself to be, then I would just end it here on the ship. At least the sea would take me away quickly, would allow me to go peacefully, to float away into nothingness. Yeosang had told me that nobody on the ship except for Taeri and Ara knew about my existence, so that’s why I had to stay in his room. After I was allowed to walk it wasn’t even too depressing, I could lean against the wall and stare out the window all day long, taking in the beauty of the sea, watching as the waves crashed against the ship, as the sun shone high up in the sky. Despite yearning to feel the warmth of the sun, Yeosang’s room brought comfort and safety and made me never want to leave the ship. Despite usually being a quiet person, Yeosang brought out a side of me I didn’t even know I had, and we were often giggling about peculiar stories we shared with each other during lunch and dinner, sharing the lives we had before we became the way we are.

When Yeosang found out I couldn’t read he made it his personal mission to teach me and the next morning he came to our room with two different books, one thin and the other very thick. They were tale books from the North, talking about folklore and creatures which only existed in fairytales. They were interesting and my curiosity fueled the want to know more, to learn more. Reading proved to be difficult, I wasn’t too good with memorizing things, but Yeosang was patient and calm. He never raised his voice; he never made fun of me or made me feel stupid if he had to help me out with a certain letter. He just explained calmy, patted my shoulder reassuringly, and then allowed me to read. I stuttered quiet often and after whispering how cute I was, he walked off with a blush on his cheeks, excusing himself as he had a lot of work to do, but encouraged me to read the chapter on my own and narrate it to him in the evening. It was the same evening my curiosity got the best of me and as Yeosang and I were sat on the bed, knees touching as our bodies huddled together, book between our laps, I blurted out the question I tried to keep to myself.

“What’s that?” I wondered loudly as I poked his temple carefully, Yeosang’s eyes widening as he turned his head to look at me.

“What is what?” He asked confused and as his eyebrows furrowed, I couldn’t help but think how cute he looked.

“The red mark on your temple and cheekbone.” I explained and cleared my throat, realizing I might’ve been rude for asking such a thing. Perhaps it was something he was uncomfortable with, I didn’t know how he got it after all, “I’m sorry if that was rude—”

“It wasn’t.” Yeosang quickly shook his head with a smile, “The redness is called a birthmark. I was born with it.”

My eyes widened and my lips formed an o shape, never having heard of such a thing before. It was my first time seeing it too on anyone. Yeosang watch my reaction and chuckled to himself with a grin before he turned his head, looking down at the book again. He took it in his hands and hummed, fingers brushing against the last sentence I have read, “Do you believe in it?”

My mind was still stuck on the new information as my eyes bore into the side of Yeosang’s face, eyes glued to the red birthmark. It was special, just like Yeosang. When Yeosang suddenly faced me again, I jumped, realizing he had asked me something. I quickly looked down at the book and re-read the last sentence I have read minutes ago and hummed. The tale was talking about a red string which was similar to fate, but talked about binding two people together. Two people who were supposed to find each other in every lifetime they shared. A bond which could never be broken,

“I’ve never really believed in anything like folklore and tales, but—perhaps if there are Gods then this is real too.” I voiced my thoughts freely, having realized that Yeosang was always curious of what I was thinking, quite often asking for my opinion. Nobody has been interested to hear what I had to say, nor would listen as intently as Yeosang.

“I believe in it.” Yeosang muttered quietly, his deep voice making goosebumps erupt on my skin, “I always thought we had a purpose in life and that the people we come across aren’t coincidental.”

His words carried a nuance I couldn’t quite understand, but couldn’t help but agree with. If Yeosang never came into my life I would be long gone, dead, forgotten.

“You’re the best part of my life, Yeosang.” I found the confession tumbling through my lips, eyes slightly widening when I realized I had said aloud what I was thinking. Yeosang’s lips pulled into a wide smile as we made eye contact and he nodded his head, looking humble and grateful.

“I hope you find more people like me one day, then.”

“I don’t think I will.”

The silence was heavy as we stared into each other’s eyes, mesmerized by Yeosang’s stare. It was soft and warm, filled with gratitude and happiness. I didn’t know what made me do it, but my body yearned for the familiarity of his warmth and I reached out hesitantly, slowly reaching for his hand. Yeosang glanced down when I gently poked my fingers against his hand and a shy smile stretched onto his lips as he opened his palm, facing up. I pressed mine down against his and our fingers intertwined as my face suddenly flushed red, becoming embarrassed. Perhaps it was a normal reaction for your body to yearn for something as simple as holding a hand, but the feeling was foreign and I couldn’t decide whether it was normal or not for Yeosang. His smile got even wider and he hung his head low, the flush on his cheeks matching the redness of his birthmark.

“I have never asked, I just realized this,” He spoke up after he seemed to collect his thoughts, still hiding his face from me, “But did you have anything you enjoyed doing before—before I found you?”

When I was still living in the brothel. And even before that. But Yeosang didn’t have to say that for me to understand, “I love to draw, actually. The brothel paid enough that I could afford some parchment and cheap pencils. It used to help me take my mind off things.”

Yeosang’s fingers twitched slightly and his thumb started rubbing my knuckle, making my heart almost jump through my chest. What was this feeling? Was it normal? Was I about to die?

“I’ll see what I can do about that.” Was all Yeosang said before he picked up the book and continued reading the story about the red string, his thumb stroking my knuckle in an even rhythm, my heartbeat frantic until it finally calmed down to an even beat, the only evidence of feeling flustered the flush on my cheeks.

And this is how I found myself a day later sitting at Yeosang’s desk with a fresh piece of parchment and five pencils. He even had something I could erase the lines with, something I have never even heard of before. I was shocked as he walked in with all the items and made place for them on his packed desk, placing two chests down onto the floor, next to his desk. He led me to the chair and asked me to sit, undoing the bindings around the surprise he had for me. I gasped and thanked him a million times as I opened the parchment and grabbed a pencil, feeling it between my fingers before I started drawing fine lines. Yeosang watched for a little before he excused himself, saying he was needed on deck by his Captain and that he would stop by with lunch. I was taken by the new activity I enjoyed dearly and only hummed at Yeosang as he left the room, leaving it unlocked. He stopped locking the door after I told him I trusted him and felt comfortable with an unlocked door, having realized that nobody other than Yeosang ever came to his room. He seemed reluctant at first, but obliged after a while, telling me that if this is what my wish was, he would respect it. But perhaps I had been too naïve and trusting, because the safe haven Yeosang and I have created in his room, came crashing down as I heard a manly voice echoing down the hallway.

“Kang Yeosang!” The man shouted and I tensed, barely able to react as the door to our shared room was thrown open. I froze for a second and all I could hear was my own breathing as my body tensed, pencil clutched tightly in my hand. The other man said nothing as he took a few steps inside the room. He seemed to forget to close the door, it brought little consolidation to my racing heart.

“Oh,” The voice sounded taunting, “You’re not Yeosang, are you?”

I pushed the chair back and stood up; hands turned into fists as my body lightly shook. This stranger could be just like Yeosang. I shouldn’t be so quick to judge, but I couldn’t help myself. Perhaps the pencil clutched in my hand could be used as a weapon if the man turned out to be another monster from the mainland. I swiftly turned around, trying to ease a smile onto my face and ready to speak up, but I paused. I froze as I stared at the man standing a few steps into the room, one eyebrow raised. His sharp eyes were quick to run over my body and I couldn’t help the instant reaction of my body as it tried to make itself small, shielding my face with my hair as I lowered my head. My body was visibly trembling as my brain quickly placed a name to the face of the man and all the history between the two of us. I suddenly couldn’t breathe as he took more steps further inside the room, feeling like the wooden structure of the room was closing in on me, ready to swallow me up whole.

“Don’t you have a mouth you can use?” The tone of the man was sharp and words harsh as I felt his intimidating glare bore into my head. I bit my lower lip, trying to find courage and speak up. But nothing came out as my lips opened, breathing through my mouth loudly. I was terrified. Perhaps if he didn’t see my face he wouldn’t recognize me.

“I’m looking for my little doctor friend, Yeosang, where is he, don’t you know little mouse?” I cringed at the nickname and closed my eyes harshly when his boots came into view, body freezing at the proximity between the two of us. I stopped breathing as I heard shuffling and suddenly, a harsh hand gripped my chin and raised my head up. I gasped loudly and started hyperventilating as the man shook my head by the grip he had on my chin.

“Open your eyes, little mouse.” My lips trembled as I opened them, but I looked anywhere but at the man’s face. I couldn’t. My body was full on trembling, mind screaming at me to run away. To get away. My grip tightened impossibly more on the pencil, mind racing with thoughts. Could I stab him in the neck if he tried to do anything to me? The atmosphere was tense as neither I nor the man spoke, up until his grip started tightening, making me wince in pain, “Little mouse—or shall I call you Y/N?”

My eyes widened as they snapped back onto the man’s face, terror written all over my face. I could see the same smirk in each one of my nightmares as the man’s lips were stretched into a sneer, looking incredulous but livid at the same time, “Aren’t you a bit far from your little brothel, Y/N? Walked into my little cage willingly, little mouse?”

I shook my head no as tears fell down my cheeks, trying to breathe properly, but I couldn’t anymore, “I—I didn’t know—please, I’m sorry. I—I will go back, just don’t hurt me again—please, San.”

“Weren’t you paid enough at the brothel, is that why you’re here?” San quirked an eyebrow and I quickly shook my head, but he didn’t let me speak, “Or did you come willingly to me, Y/N? Have you finally decided to work for me and only me?”

“No—I—” San chuckled and yanked me forward, faces mere inches away, making me choke on my terribly stuttered words.

“Wrong choice, little mouse.” I let out a sob as San’s wide smile looked sinister, and I knew it only promised more anguish to come, “I know just the perfect client for you. And he’ll pay me lots of money since you’re still good to be used—”

“Let her go!” A deep voice cut off San’s words and my eyes were instantly drawn to Yeosang. He stood in the doorway, chest rising and falling quickly as if he had been running, hair disheveled, and for the first time Yeosang looked scary as his lips were pulled into a scowl and his eyes held sharpness as he glared at the back of San’s head, “Let her go, San, I’m not going to ask again.”

San’s eyebrows were pulled up and he looked at me with amusement written all over his face as he tilted his head slightly at me, a question swimming in his eyes. I shook my head barely, but I knew San caught it as he glanced back at Yeosang with the same amused expression. It made Yeosang livid as he stormed inside the room and grabbed San’s bicep hard and yanked him away, San’s firm grip from my chin disappearing. I gasped as I fell back into the desk, holding tightly against it as my heart raced and I struggled to breathe.

“What the fuck do you want?” I have never heard Yeosang swear. The sweet Yeosang I knew was gone and was replaced by someone I couldn’t recognize. He looked dangerous in his all-black attire, veins on his arms bulging visible as he wore another tank top. His hair fell into his eyes and hid his glare, making him look even more menacing.

“I came to find you, mate, because thanks to Taeri, Ara has managed to actually injure me.” San hissed out, jaw clenched as he gripped the top of Yeosang’s tank top, “And what do I find instead of you? A whore sitting at your desk and drawing.”

It happened barely in a few seconds and I gasped loudly as Yeosang’s punch threw San off balance, head whipping to the side, and if Yeosang wasn’t still holding him, San would’ve stumbled to the floor. My hands flew to my mouth as I watched San raise his head back up slowly, getting all up in Yeosang’s face, “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Talk like that ever again about Y/N and I will kill you with my own hands—” The cackle San let out was shrill and it made Yeosang’s head thump as he sucked in a harsh breath, “Touch her again, and it will be Hongjoong who kills you, not me, San.”

“Hongjoong doesn’t give a shit about a whore, Yeosang—”

“Shut the fuck up!” Yeosang screamed, making me flinch, “I thought you learned your lesson with Taeri and Yunho, but it seems like you haven’t.”

“I own that whore!” San screamed back, pointing his finger in my direction, making me sob as Yeosang looked at me, he was breathing harder and harder, “She’s mine, Yeosang, and when we hit land I’m going to sell her off like the good little whore she is—”

“Get the fuck out right now, San.” Yeosang suddenly sounded too calm, face void of any emotion. It even threw San off guard as he stared at him, stumbling forward as Yeosang released him while hauling him forward. San didn’t cast a second glance our way as walked out the room as if nothing had happened. When he was gone, Yeosang finally looked at me, and I couldn’t help but break down in front of him, fall to the floor as I started sobbing loudly, clutching the pencil to my chest as if my life depended on it. Yeosang was frozen until he slowly approached me and crouched down in front of me, his own eyes filled with tears. I was heaving and my body was shaking badly, but his flowery scent was able to clear my mind, to silence the fear inside my brain as I looked up at him. He looked just as broken as I felt. It made me hate myself. Everything was so perfect. And now it was all ruined by San.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve—”

“Stay quiet, Y/N.” Yeosang’s voice was hard and it made me flinch, “What are you apologizing for? That you’re on the same ship as your tormentor? The one who continuously sold you off? That you’re here because of me? Because I am in the same crew as San? Because I’m a horrible person?!”

I shook my head quickly and reached out to hold Yeosang’s face, action foreign, “You’re not a horrible person, Yeosang. You’re anything but that, please—you couldn’t have known that San—You saved me, Yeosang. I’m alive because of you.”

Yeosang’s lower lip trembled as he lowered his face and placed his warm hand over mine, letting out a shuddering breath, “We’ll get to land in a week. Then you’ll be free. And San will never again find you or touch you again, I swear.”

I nodded my head furiously, sniffing as Yeosang suddenly pulled away and stood, storming out the room. I was left alone, trembling and gasping for air as repressed memories of San came back like a violent blow.

Another week passed by like nothing, the days seemed to blur together here on the ship. After what happened with San, Yeosang barely left my side and would lock the door even if he was inside in the room with me. He seemed to be always on high alert and tense if someone walked by his room. It took me a few days until I let Yeosang in again, having seen San and realizing we were on the same ship has messed up my mind. I couldn’t feel as safe as before, but with Yeosang by my side, I knew nothing would happen to me. He stopped San the last time. I knew he’d do it again. Yesterday night when Yeosang came to bed he had told me that we have finally reached land and that while the others would be out tomorrow he’d like to take me to the market himself. The idea sounded exciting and I barely got a wink of sleep all night, tossing and turning freely as my back was all healed up now, scars the only reminder of what was once done to me. The clothes Yeosang brought for me to wear in the morning were a bit foreign and I didn’t know how to feel about them, but I thanked him and wore them nonetheless, almost daring to think that I looked like a real pirate in them. The leather pants I wore were slightly longer than my legs but I managed to tuck them into the worn-out boots Yeosang found for me, they were my size thankfully. The black shirt I wore was silky against my skin and I gaped at it when I pulled it on, feeling the fabric with my fingers in awe. The corset I had a little difficulty with wearing it, foreign and uncomfortable, but I didn’t want to seem ungrateful to Yeosang so I quickly put it on and laced it up myself, leaving it looser since it felt like a reminder of the wounds littered around my torso, a reminder of the suffocating pain they have once caused. When I was done dressing I knocked on the door and Yeosang opened it, a wide smile on his face. His eyes quickly ran over my outfit and he grinned happily, complementing me. I blushed furiously and looked away, having noticed that he also wore all black, our outfits matching in color. It seemed like black tank tops were his favorite as he wore one again, this time a black ribbon tied around his neck. He styled his hair in a way to cover his birthmark and a very obvious sword sat secured around his hips.

“Shall we go then?” Yeosang’s soft voice brought me back from my thoughts and I looked at him and nodded quickly, excited to get off the ship. Excited to see an unknown world. Excited to breathe in some fresh air finally. Yeosang led the way as I kept close behind him, fingers itching to hold onto the back of his tank top, but I stopped myself and just followed close, his bigger frame hiding me from anyone’s view. The corridor we walked down was narrow and long, doors leading to rooms on both sides until we reached wooden stairs leading upstairs. I sucked in a harsh breath when the sound of the waves crashing became louder and the salty air hit my nose, the light almost blinding as I padded after Yeosang. The moment we got on deck I paused, looking around with big eyes, taking in the place I’ve been living in for the past three weeks. The ship was huge. If you were to run around the deck you’d get tired. Yeosang started moving and I followed after him, turning around noticing some more stairs which lead to the quarterdeck, a round wheel sitting highly on top of it. I smiled as the sun shone down upon us, closing my eyes and throwing my head back as I stopped walking, basking in the warm sunlight. Seagulls screamed above us and I chuckled, thankful that I tied my hair in a low ponytail as the wind was strong up here. I felt like I was alive once again as I realized how much I have missed fresh air. It was nice to be out of Yeosang’s room. As I opened my eyes Yeosang was watching me silently, having stopped as well to wait for me. I grinned at him and ran up to him, allowing him to lead the way. We were the only people on deck, I found that weird since this ship was so huge, but I figured Yeosang might’ve arranged it to be this way.

After getting down and in the boat, Yeosang paddled towards the shore and I leaned over and dipped my hand in the sea, yelping at how cold it was. It made Yeosang chuckle before he focused on paddling and once we got to the shore he tied the boat securely and then helped me out of it. The water felt cold against my boots and it made me run quickly towards the sand, away from the water. Yeosang shook his head at me and then caught up, watching me as I twirled around with a smile on my face. Before either one of us could say anything, Yeosang led the way again as I stuck close to him, walking further and further away from the beach until we reached cobblestone covered streets. Little cottages started showing up too and I took in the beauty and simplicity of them, different from the houses I was used to seeing in the nasty city I was forced to live in while working at the brothel. Everyone was dressed in bright colors here and despite being strangers, people greeted us with a smile on their faces. There were a few people who recognized Yeosang, but we never stopped to talk with anyone. Everyone seemed too busy with whatever they had going on. As we neared the heart of the city, the streets became crowded as people roamed around, not quite paying attention to us anymore. It was a little stressful as I had to pay extra attention to not lose sight of Yeosang, but he slowed down his steps and paid attention for me to be always by his side. I almost got lost at one point so I gripped the back of Yeosang’s tank top and he sent a smile my way before walking with purpose, headed towards a boutique.

“What are we doing here?” I asked curiously as he pushed the door open for me, then followed me inside. The place was nicely decorated and many pretty dresses were placed on display. An older lady greeted us with a big smile, eyes fixated onto Yeosang as if she knew him.

“We’re here to buy you some new clothes,” Yeosang explained before he turned his attention onto the shopkeeper, “Hello, Mrs. Yang.”

“Long time no see, my boy, how have you been?” The lady asked with a fond smile and Yeosang shrugged nonchalantly.

“Just the usual, busier than before.” The lady hummed and then turned her attention onto me, eyes twinkling.

“What a beautiful girl, finally someone has charmed Yeosang.” I blushed at the lady’s words once I realized what she was implying, but before she could say more, Yeosang cleared his throat.

“Do you have dresses in her size?” He asked with a smile.

“Of course, follow me, my dear.” She extended her hand and I hesitantly placed mine in hers, glancing back at Yeosang to see if he was still here. But he just gave me a reassuring nod and followed after us, the lady showing a multitude of dresses, making it hard to choose. At last, I settled on a lavender breezy dress, perfect for a warm day. A white floral dress and a soft pink silk like dress. However, as she stated the prices of the three dresses I realized I had no money, yet Yeosang was quick to open his pouch and offer the lady the pennies she asked for. I looked at him surprised as the lady quickly packed the dresses into a big wrapping paper, biding it together by a rope. Yeosang took the package from her and carried it for me, ushering me outside the boutique as the lady opened her mouth to say something. Once we were out he shook his head.

“She’s a very nosy person, I don’t like discussing my affairs with her.” Yeosang explained and I nodded, pointing towards a little shop I had just noticed.

“Is that a bakery?” I asked in awe and Yeosang hummed, motioning for me to lead the way. I bounced towards the bakery in excitement, having not been to one in ages. The food was extremely good on the ship, but I missed the taste of pastry. It smelled heavenly as Yeosang and I walked through the opened door, another lady greeted us with a friendly smile. She stood behind a long desk, pastries displayed on it.

“Welcome, would you like some?” She motioned towards the yummy looking food and I nodded eagerly, eyes running over the pastries.

“Do you have anything vanilla flavored?” I asked and the lady nodded, pointing at a heart shaped pastry. I gave her a smile and she motioned for me to take it, which I did, and quickly turned to face Yeosang.

“I love anything vanilla flavored!” I beamed up at him and he chuckled, looking at the lady.

“May I have then one too?” The lady nodded her head and Yeosang quickly took one too, dropping four pennies on the table for the lady. She wished us a good day and we exited the shop, standing a little to the side as I took a big bite of the pastry. The rich taste of vanilla exploded in my mouth and I hummed contently, closing my eyes as I savored the delicacy. I haven’t had something this good in ages.

“You like it?” Yeosang asked as I opened my eyes and nodded at him eagerly, happy to be eating the pastry. He took his first bite and his eyebrows raised as he looked down at his own delicacy, finishing it in mere seconds. I started laughing loudly as Yeosang’s cheeks were stuffed with the vanilla pastry, cheeks hurting from how widely I was smiling once I have calmed down. Yeosang’s cheeks flushed and he rubbed the back of his head as he chewed the food with difficulty, eyes widening when he realized it might’ve been a mistake eating it all at once.

“Have you never eaten something like this?” I asked as I took some more bites of my own pastry and Yeosang shook his head no as he wasn’t able to speak just yet. I chuckled and quietly munched on the food, waiting for Yeosang to finally speak up.

“This was my first time,” He admitted with a chuckle as he had successfully gulped down all the food he had in his mouth, “and it was amazing, thank you for recommending it. Now come, I have a surprise for you.”

“Really?” I asked wide eyed and he nodded, gently grabbing my free hand and interlacing our fingers as he started pulling me further down the market. My cheeks were burning as I lowered my eyes and stared at the cobblestones, making sure I wouldn’t trip, but also to hide my own blush. Yeosang’s steps were quick and I realized he was eager as he was grinning from ear to ear, quickly stopping when we reached our destination. I almost ran into him, but managed to stop last minute. I looked at the boutique we have stopped in front of and my eyes widened as I looked back at Yeosang in shock.

“After you, Y/N.” He didn’t have to repeat himself as I basically tumbled inside, scaring the poor man sitting in the corner on a chair. He jumped up to his feet and relaxed once he realized it were just two regular customers, but didn’t smile nor speak to us as I took in the place, mouth hanging open. It was a crafts boutique. It was littered with blank canvas and pencils and so many colors. This was a painters dream. I went and touched a canvas as I heard Yeosang approaching, stopping next to me.

“You can buy anything you want, don’t worry about the price.” I looked at Yeosang with big eyes and bowed my head slightly in gratitude before picking up the canvas and clutching it to my chest. It has always been my dream to own enough utensils to be able to make paintings. But I never thought one day that dream would become reality. I was overwhelmed by many feelings as I picked up a few colored pencils, you didn’t have a big variety to choose from, but it was more than I have ever owned. My hands weren’t big enough to hold onto so many items at once, but I refused to let Yeosang help as I showed the men what I have chosen to take back to the ship. He seemed to count in his head before he asked for ten pennies and Yeosang handed it to him without many words, nodding at him as we left the boutique. I realized I could store the pencils in the pockets of my pants and quickly stuffed them inside, hugging the blank canvas to my chest. Yeosang hid his smile as there was a bounce in my step as I followed after him, allowing him to take me wherever he wanted to. Surprisingly we stopped by a flower stand and Yeosang greeted the seller with a smile before he leaned down and picked up a freesia and brought it up to his nose, inhaling its fragrance. He handed the seller two pennies before turning towards me and handing me the flower. My eyes widened and I blushed as I quickly took it from him, thanking him shyly. Yeosang grinned as I smelled the flower, eyes widening at the familiarity of it. As our eyes connected, Yeosang had a fond look on his face.

“They are my favorite flowers.” He explained and I nodded, realizing that this whole time Yeosang smelled like freesias. A tiny voice in my head whispered that they had become my favorite flowers too, the fragrance bringing comfort and safety as it calmed my nerves and racing mind. They felt like home. Yeosang and I stared at each other for another moment before he cleared his throat and went to lead the way again, but had to pull me back, into himself, as a man raced down the street, crashing into people. Three more people chased after him and I realized they were the constable’s men. Yeosang’s face was suddenly lowered and his breath hit my neck as he hid his face, suddenly the smell of freesia stronger with Yeosang so close. For a moment I was confused, until I realized why Yeosang had done that. He was a pirate. And constables didn’t like them. He was trying to hide his identity. But when nobody seemed to notice him, he straightened up once again and mumbled an apology, asking me to follow him as he led us away from the busy street.

My day spent with Yeosang has been magical. We spent it wandering around the little city, which I learned was a village by the sea on one of the South Kingdom’s islands, close to the Irenic Sea. It was completely on the other side of where Yeosang had found me. It was a comforting thought that I was far away from where once I have lived through torture and hell. Yeosang and I bought some more pastries and then we sat down by a cliff, looking over the sea and talking about our day together. Yeosang seemed to be content, serene even, as he had laid down in the grass, staring up at the blue sky. I mirrored his actions and started seeing shapes in the clouds, pointing them out to him and giggling when he wouldn’t see what I could. We talked about anything that came into our minds and Yeosang shared stories about all the times he was clumsy when making his medicine, making me laugh when he retold failed experiments. All the worries I previously seemed to have disappeared the longer I was with Yeosang. I seemed to find nothing too worrying in his presence. He placed a blanket of safety over me and I couldn’t help but want to snuggle closer to him. He suddenly sat up and then grabbed something from his pouch, it was the book we were currently reading. I continued laying on the grass as Yeosang started reading, his deep voice warm and lively as he read a conversation out loud. I closed my eyes and allowed his voice to take me to a land I’ve never been to, finding myself smiling.

But when you are enjoying yourself, it always feels like time flies by. It was the first time I have experienced the saying. I truly wished for the day to be longer, but as the breeze calmed and the sun slowly started setting over the horizon, I knew it was time to head back. We were walking down a dirt covered path, at a crossroads towards the beach and some homey looking cottages, when Yeosang suddenly stopped as I went to walk towards the beach.

“I hope today was as beautiful as I planned it to be.” He said with a smile and I turned to look at Yeosang with a chuckle.

“Of course, it was, Yeosang. I couldn’t have asked for anything better!” I beamed up at him and he nodded happily, running his fingers through his hair.

“Good, I’m glad to hear, I also had an amazing time with you today, Y/N.” I looked away shyly.

“We should head back now.” I said quietly, avoiding Yeosang’s eyes, but his next words made me pause.

“I am heading back, you are not.” I looked at him alarmed, eyes wide as he grabbed his pouch and undid it from his belt, “There’s enough gold in here to last you for three months, Y/N. That’s enough time to find a nice house to live in and a job which pays well. You could even work at the bakery or perhaps sell flowers.”

I gulped as I looked at Yeosang, eyes falling on the pouch, “Are you saying…that I’m staying here? And you’re leaving with…Ateez?”

Yeosang nodded wordlessly and suddenly my mouth went dry as I reluctantly took the pouch when he nudged it towards me. I watched as he fidgeted with his fingers for a bit before he pulled a ring off his finger. I have noticed it a long time ago, but never gave it much attention. Yeosang stared at it longingly before handing it over to me, my palm closing around it tightly, “Keep that ring on you at all times. Wear it as a necklace so that everybody can see it. It will keep you safe, I promise.”

“A ring will keep me safe?” I mumbled as I opened my palm and looked at the ring closely. The letter A was craved inside it. Perhaps from Ateez? How could a ring keep me safe?

“It will, trust me, everyone knows about the meaning of this ring. So it will keep you away from unwanted people.” Yeosang explained further when he noticed my hesitancy.

“I don’t—I don’t want your ring, Yeosang.” I whispered as I looked at him pleadingly, “Don’t leave me behind. I—I can’t be on my own. You can keep me safe, not this ring—”

“No, trust me, it will!” Yeosang quickly exclaimed as his eyebrows furrowed, “I would never lie to you. This place is safe and pirates rarely come here. I suggested sailing here specifically to drop you off here. Y/N, please. I promise nobody will find you here. You can start your new life right here. People are welcoming and friendly. You will be safe. And you will find happiness.”

My eyebrows furrowed at Yeosang’s words and I quickly shook my head, walking up to him, feeling dread pool in my stomach. I wasn’t safe anywhere. San will always find me. Men will always be around me. They will use me. They will sell me. Yeosang was the only safe person. He was the only genuine man I have ever known.

“That’s not true, I don’t want to stay here, Yeosang.” I couldn’t even continue my argument because Yeosang sighed and started talking again.

“Just listen to me one last time, Y/N. You have to stay here—”

“No, because I—I feel like I’m about to die if you leave me alone here!” I exclaimed and my eyes widened at the confession, but my heart was racing and my mind was a mess again, “I’m scared of people if you’re not with me, Yeosang. I can’t trust anyone, no matter how hard I try. I just—my mind is full of these thoughts that are only silenced if I’m around you, Yeosang. Please don’t push me away. Don’t leave me here. I can’t—I can’t live without you. I really mean that. If you go, I might just—”

“Don’t finish that sentence.” Yeosang gasped out as a hand was placed on the side of my neck, holding me gently. I gulped and felt my eyes fill with tears as Yeosang looked at me alarmed, eyebrows furrowed as we gazed into each other’s eyes, “You won’t be safe on a pirate ship. You will be a wanted criminal by association. You will witness gory fights and heavily injured people often. You might become friends with someone who you might lose the next day. The life of a pirate isn’t easy, Y/N, it’s demanding. Both physically and mentally. There will be days when I won’t be able to look at you or even talk to you. I shut down sometimes, when I can’t save someone, I want to die with them. I have outbursts and sometimes struggle to remain calm. I’m not always so gentle and I can’t lose an argument, I—I can hurt you. And that’s the last thing I want to do. I could lose you and then I—”

“Don’t finish that sentence.” A tear rolled down my cheek, “I will stand by your side, no matter what, Yeosang. Always. I will wait for you patiently when you need time. I hate arguing so you won’t have to win that from me. I will try and be strong, I will learn how to fight, and how to help you with healing others. I won’t allow you to spiral into guilt and self-hatred. We’ll work through everything, together.”

Yeosang sucked in a deep breath, his grip tightening on my neck. I offered him an encouraging smile and he shook his head, almost disappointed at himself, “You really want to come with me? San will be always there.”

My jaw clenched at the mention of that terrible man’s name, but I shook my head, “I don’t care where San is as long as I’m by your side, Yeosang. You’re my home now. You make me feel safe and appreciated. You listen to me and care about me. You showed me respect when nobody else did, you—you treated me like a human being when nobody else has.”

Yeosang let out a shuddered breath, sniffing as he nodded slowly, eyes boring into mine. They were filled with warmth and determination. His eyes were twinkling with a newfound purpose and I felt a smile creep up onto my lips, “Let’s go home, Y/N.”

“Let’s go home, Yeosang.” I whispered with a big smile on my face and allowed myself to act without second guessing everything as I leaned up and pressed a kiss against Yeosang’s birthmark. Both of our faces were red when I pulled away and I couldn’t help but giggle shyly as I stepped back from Yeosang’s reach and raced down towards the beach, a newfound freedom lacing through every inch of my skin.

A new chapter of my life has just begun. I was Jung Y/N, a woman who’d start the journey of her life starting from…right now.

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