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justagirlwriting · 1 year

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Goddess Interrupted - Chapter 4

Warnings: Mentions of death, torture, blood, nightmares, and cursing.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader, Steve x Natasha, Tony x Pepper, Wanda x Vision, Bruce, Thor, Loki, and Sam, T’Challa, Shuri

Word count: 898

“Y/N you know he’s not going anywhere?” Shuri said to me as she walked into the room.

“I know. I just….” I sighed, “I spent so much time searching for him. All because I took one day off. I know he's safe here but sitting around has me itching with anxiety.”

“I figured, so I talked to my brother about getting you a job while you’re here.” Shuri said nonchalantly.

“What!? Okay, what is it?” Excitement rising in me. I would love nothing more than to have something to do.

“Well, I was talking to him about how we need to find something for you to do. And he mentioned how you were a wonderful fighter and had moves he never saw. And I suggested that you train the Dora Milaje.”

“I would love to,” turned back to Bucky,” Can I still come up here and see him?”

Shuri put her hand on my shoulder, “Of course. Also, you start tomorrow.” I chuckled a little and turned back to Bucky.

________________________________________________________________________________

I walked around the training room watching the women practice the moves I had shown them. Most of them are on point not a inch out of place, besides the new recruits. I expected them to be a little off, most people have a difficult time getting the moves down. The door to the training room opened and Shuri and T’Challa walked in. The Dora Milaje stopped and got into their usual stance when the king or princess entered.

“I see the training is paying off.” T’Challa spoke as he walked toward me.

“Yes, some need a little more time,” I looked at the new recruits. “But that is to be expected.”

“Yes well, I'm sure you can finish later?” T’Challa smirked at me. “My sister has some news for you.” He motioned to his sister.

“He’s waking up,” she bounced with excitement.

“Training is over,” I dismissed the army. “Shuri, let’s go.” We walked… well we ran pretty much. We got to the door, and I heard him, “Is Y/N here?” I flew the door open wanting nothing more than to see and hear him say my name one more time.

“Bucky?” I looked into his eyes and saw that his mind was clearer than usual.

“Hey doll, how’s it going?” He smirked at me.

“Me, I…I am fine. How are you? How is your head?” Bucky looked down for a moment and then back at me.

“We still have to test it. To see if he is really gone, but it feels clearer. More me.” He chuckled a little bit, “But I still want you there just in case. He hated hurting you just as much as I do.”

“Bucky I will always be there for you. Anytime, anywhere, for anything.” I took his hand in mine, but he pulled me in for a hug.

“I remember that we were something before all of this, but right now I need some time to clear my head and figure things out.”

“B. like I said, anything, if you need some space from me then okay. I have all the time in the world to wait.” He held my hand again.

“It’s so nice seeing you too together. Y/N talked about you so much, makes me believe in true love. But it also makes me wanna throw up.” I looked at Shuri telling her enough. She raised her hands in surrender. Bucky and I looked at each other and giggled.

“When are you going to test it?” I asked.

“Now. If you are ready?” Bucky pleaded with me whether it was to wait or to be ready now. I figured it would be better to do it now just in case.

“Let’s do this.” Bucky gave me a small smile.

________________________________________________________________________________

“Возвращение домой, Один, Грузовой вагон,” Ayo spoke. Bucky sucked in a breath, and after a beat he released it. He looked up at Ayo. “You’re free.” Bucky started sobbing, and I went to his side.

“Y/N,” Bucky looked at me moving me so I could look into his eyes. “Tell me… Tell me if he….” Bucky stutters trying to talk through the sobs. “Is still in there.”

“Bucky, what are you asking?” I knew what he was asking but I needed to hear it first.

“Please look and see if he is still in my mind,” Bucky pleaded.

“Okay.” I placed my hands on his head and my thumbs on his temples. My magic flowed from my hands around his head. Our eyes light up golden. “Open your mind to me.” And he did, I saw so many things flash past my eyes. I wanted to see all of it, but I couldn’t take advantage of this situation. I continued looking through his mind, thoughts, feelings, pain, blood, everything that involved the Winter Soldier. “Bucky I… I am so sorry,” tears falling from my eyes. I looked a little further for anything but found nothing. “He’s gone, Buck. It’s just you in there.” my magic flowed back into me, and I released my grip on his head.

“Thank you. Thank you all so much,” Bucky hugged me tightly and his memories of me entered my mind.

“What?’ I pulled away from him.

“I love you,” he spoke as he slid his hand along my face, and he kissed me. Full of passion.

#marvel #bucky x you #bucky x reader #buckyxyou #fluff #buckybarnes #wintersolider #tchalla #shuri #fanfic

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vase-of-lilies · 6 months

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Heeyyyy, uhm I would like to choose "It's oke to love me, please love me." (The 500 Follower post)

And congratulations: 500 followers, you deserve them and a lot more?!

Wish granted! It is all yours:)

Ahhh thank you!! That seriously means so much to me 😭 I’m already close to 600 right now too, but I’m so grateful!!

#buckys-wintersolider #may answers asks #mays 500 follower celebration #mays500challenge

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capedjoel · 1 year

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The New Revolution | Captain America Sentinel Of Liberty #6

Captain America has misjudged his place in the battle against the elusive Outer Circle…and it’s about to cost him everything. The Century Game has been turned upside down. And when the dust settles, Steve Rogers’ world will never be the same again.

#youtube #CaptainAmerica SteveRogers SentinelOfLiberty Marvel ComicBook SuperHero wintersolider

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testingthewatersss · 3 months

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Panic Trigger warnings for PTSD and torture, wintersolider flashbacks etc.(&bad russain) Bucky Barnes x F Reader (ft. Steve Rodgers) Oneshot 3550 words Angst, comfort. 18+ MDNI The first time a Code White is called is also the last.

The siren that has been splitting the air in the tower is quieter, here. In the common room, with the thick white carpets and furniture to muffle the sound.

Steve is frantic. He’s frozen in position, breathing shallow as his brain fights to come up with any way to respond to the situation he’s facing.

He’s facing Bucky.

Bucky, who, until 2 minutes ago had been doing just fine.

But now he’s not fine, now he’s hysterical.

FRIDAY had set off the code white alarms, helpfully alerting the other residents that something wasn’t right, and all Steve had been able to do is back pace, horror in his eyes as he’d watched the infamous Winter Solider curl up into a ball on the floor.

“Lets cut that noise”

Y/N’s instruction has an instant effect. The shrill ringing is gone as quickly as it’d started.

The door locks behind her with a dull click, and now she’s pacing towards the scene.

Unlike Steve, she doesn’t look afraid at all.

If anything, she looks curious.

“Hey boys” she greets mildly, coming up on Steve’s flank, “What’s goin’ on in here?”

“We” Steve gulps, trying to gather himself, “We were just talking and then…”

“And then?”

He blinks at her prompting, mouth suddenly dry.

“He started freakin' out- speakin' Russain” he explains, looking urgently at the man on the floor, “and then- I- I don’t know what happened, he just—“

Y/N tilts her head.

“He didn’t collapse or anything” he says, “He just—“

“Sat down on the ground?”

He’s hardly sitting, but he doesn’t know think there’d be another way of explaining the situation without making him feel sick.

He nods, and so does she.

She looks understanding, now, rather than curious.

“Hey, Buck” she calls, taking a slow step towards him, “You doin' okay?”

He doesn’t respond. He doesn’t look at her. He just stays still, burying his face in his knees, arms looped protectively across his brow.

“Y/N” Steve cautions, “I don’t know if he can hear us”

“Sure he can” she replies, almost with humour, “even if what your thinkin’ is right— which I don’t think it is, by the way — Do you think he magically goes deaf?”

He blinks at her dumbly, brain working overtime.

That does sound a little ridiculous, but he’s not an expert on the effects of brain washing, so he decides to forgive himself for that, at least.

“You said he started speaking Russian” Y/N says, “That’s why you called a code white?”

Steve nods, guilt stirring inside of his chest.

Was I wrong? he thinks, did I make this worse?

“Lets try this, then” she says, taking a smaller step closer, “Baki, chto sluchilos’?”

The russian words pour easily from her lips. Steve blinks again, thinking about how strangely soft she’s managed to make them sound. He’s always thought the language was harsh, but her voice is gentle, even now.

Bucky seems to notice her question this time. Although he doesn’t move as much as he flinches in response to her words.

“What were you talking about?” She asks suddenly, head snapping back to Steve, “Before he swapped languages.”

His brow furrows, arms over his chest as he thinks back.

“I…” he says, “I’m not sure exactly… nothing serious, I mean, just— stuff”

“Stuff?”

“Yeah” he agrees, “Childhood stuff, yeah- Yeah that was it— He asked me if I remembered something, a store where he used to work on Tuesdays— and then we were talkin’ about the guy who owned it, and about how he used to go crazy at us for trailin’ mud into the front of the shop…”

“Right” she presses, “and then?”

“And then” Steve sighs, frustrated, “Uh, I said—“

He stops. Realising exactly what he’d said.

Y/N raises her brow, urging him to continue;

“I said” he gulps, looking suddenly ashamed, “I said “I guess we were lucky that he didn’t take us outside and beat us” for half the stuff we did”

Yeah, she thinks, That’d do it.

Steve opens his mouth to apologise, but she cuts him off,

“What did he say in Russian, do you remember?”

“No” he says quickly, remorse making him dizzy, “No, I— I didn’t really get it, it was so fast, he was just, mumbling and backing away and then…”

She nods, understanding.

“Darlin', I-”

“It’s fine” she says, closing the last few steps between her and where Barnes is still hiding on the floor.

It’s not fine. Steve knows it’s not, but he doesn’t know what else to say.

“I think he said insvinte?” he offers, desperate to be helpful, to right this wrong somehow, “Or something close-”

“Izvinite” she corrects quietly, dropping to a crouch.

Her tone is soft again, and Steve can’t help but wince a heavy ball of dread hits him square in the chest.

It must mean something, then. It wasn’t just incoherent rambling,

“What does it mean?” he hears himself ask, not really wanting to know.

“Sorry” she answers, voice barely audible, “It means I’m sorry”

“Jesus christ” he mumbles, backing away towards the arm of the couch. He leans on it, not trusting his legs to hold him up as he paws at his face in despair.

Y/N reaches out carefully, letting her fingers run over the folded metal plates of Bucky’s arm, before they finally reach his hair. It’s damp by his temples. His whole body is shaking so quickly it’s almost invisible.

“Tebe ne nuzhno izvinyat'sya, dorogaya…” she whispers soothingly “…ne togda, kogda ty ne sdelal nichego plokhogo.”

You don’t have to be sorry, Sweetheart… not when you haven’t done anything wrong.

The back of his shoulders jump with a concealed sob.

He’s terrified, plain and simple and the idea of him being so scared, being so, hopelessly afraid and then being hit by a terrible, loud siren is almost too much for her to bare.

No wonder he’s trying to hide.

No wonder he’s making himself as small as possible in the furthest corner of the room.

“Hey” she soothes, hoping that he’ll respond to English now she’s touching him, “You’re okay…look at me… it’s just me, it’s okay…”

Steve watches, horror stricken as Bucky slowly edges his face up from behind the wall he’s made with his body.

His chin stays hidden behind his forearm, but his eyes are red and streaming.

Y/N shakes her head, hushing him as he starts to choke on air, suddenly feel obscenely exposed;

It’s clear from his expression that he’s too far gone. That scared doesn’t cover it anymore. She’s not fully confident that hysteria covers it, anymore.

His panicked gaze drops to the floor, and she watches as he chokes on a breath that seems to hurt him. Her head shakes, and she lets her hand fall away for a beat as she considers what might be best to say;

“Soldat” she murmurs, knowing he’ll take notice of that, “Glaza na moi”

…Solider…. eyes on me…

That does the trick.

The way his gaze snaps to hers is automatic. It’s instinctual and instant.

“Khoroshiy mal'chik” she soothes, knowing he needs her to be kind more than anything else, right now, “You’ve gotta slow your breathing down— In and out, with me now, okay?”

He blinks at the gentle Russian praise, and then he shivers.

Y/N doesn’t like using his conditioned submissive to her advantage. Not when she can help it, but he needs to stop dragging in aching bursts of air, he needs to calm down-

“In…” she instructs, “…and, out…”

He obeys instantly. Matching the rise and fall of his chest with hers even though he’s having to fight through every fibre of his body to do so.

His discomfort is obvious. She can see that he’s only following her commands because they’re commands. That it’s not a natural way for him to be breathing right now. That it’s hurting him to fight his reflexes so plainly.

“…Deep…” she whispers, trying to soften her voice again, “…Deeper, now, Soldier, and slow, you’re okay- you’re safe, right now, everything’s alright.”

Something flickers across his eyes as tears spill down his cheeks, again. Y/N tilts her head and moves her hands around to cup his jaw. He’s still half hidden, but she knows he won’t fight the contact. She smiles as she wipes her fingers across his face, and nods encouragingly as he changes his inhalation’s to match her new instructions.

Steve is watching from his perch across the room, fighting the urge to cry himself. This is torture, he thinks, though he feels guilty for the thought the second he has it. He hasn’t been tortured— He has, though and that’s why he’s curled up in a corner while Steve gets to watch. He hates the way he’s daring to feel badly. He hates this whole situation

“Can you tell me your name?”

Y/N’s voice snaps him out of his bout of self-deprecation.

He’s watching, desperately hoping for a reassuring response, for some sign that he’d been wrong after all—

“Hmmm?” she presses gently, “Teper' tvoye imya, dorogaya.”

Tell me your name now, sweetheart.

This time, her voice seems to confuse him. He draws in another wet breath before nodding a fraction.

“J-James Bu-channon B-Barnes”

She beams at him and watches his face relax a fraction when she doesn’t have an issue with his answer.

“And what’s my name?” she asks after a pause, “Teper' my govorim po-angliyski, soldat”

We’re speaking english now, Solider.

This time, he looks more nervous.

“Y/N?” he whispers uncertainly.

“Right” she agrees instantly, “Good”

That seems to settle him a fraction.

He inhales deeper, and doesn’t seem to suffer quite as much on the exhale.

“You’re safe” she promises next, swiping another set of tears away from his cheeks, “…Nothin’ bad’s coming…”

He looks at her for the first time since she’d arrived in the room, he really looks at her face, and she sees something behind his gaze give way.

“-I— I di-didn’t m-me-mean t—to d-do an-anythin— wrong” he stammers, frantically trying to tell her, “I- I’m s-sorry— I- I didn’t- I- I c-c-can't—”

“Shhhhhh” she soothes, shaking her head before leaning in to press a kiss against his brow, “We’re breathing right now” she says, smoothing his hair back, “That’s all you need to think about”

It’s a bit of a low blow, really, cutting him off like that, but she knows he’s too far gone to have a rational discussion about everything else right now. A panic attack worsened by the addition of an alarm which she’d wager had been just a touch too familiar is a whole lot of trauma to fight through at once.

He needs to focus. He needs to breathe. And she knows him well enough he won’t disobey something as close to a command as her words. Not given the circumstances.

She’s right. Just like before, his body takes over.

He reverts to mimicking her exaggerated breathing pattern and letting his eyes loose focus.

This time, she doesn’t interrupt him straight away. Not even to praise him. She just watches silently as he forces his chest to rise and fall in a mechanical rhythm that she’d curated to deliberately ease his most primal responses.

Steve paws at his eyes, pressing back his own tears now.

This is all my fault, he thinks, the reality of the situation hitting him now, There was no code white, he was just scared and I made things ten times worse—

Y/N just sits with him for a few more minutes, waiting until she notices him starting to shiver, before she reaches out to stroke his cheek again.

“Good” she whispers, affection heavy in her voice now, “That’s better, huh?”

“I-I’m t-t-trying” he stammers weakly.

“I know” she agrees, leaning in and pressing a kiss against his brow, “I know, Bucky, I know you’re doin’ good…”

He nods a fraction and that’s how she knows that he’s ready to take back control. To at least start deciding what he wants to do, again.

“Want some water?” she offers, beaming proudly when he shakes his head, “No? Okay… What do you want, huh?”

“C-can… C-can I… Can I- have… have a h-hug pl-please?”

“A hug?” she checks, “Sure… Sure you can, c’mere—”

And then, her arms are open, and Bucky feels himself moving, rocking onto his knees so that he can to cling onto her waist.

This is all he wants. He just wants to hide his face against her neck, and hold onto her and—

“Sweetheart” she murmurs, “You’re okay, it’s all okay, I promise…”

And then, he’s back to sobbing.

His adrenaline is crashing, and he feels dizzy and sick and he’s crying like a baby in her arms.

None of this feels right. He doesn’t understand how he’s ended up on the floor in the corner of the room. It’s all a blur of panic, and loud, shrill noises that always mean terrible things are coming and— and he remembers feeling useless, of not being able to be understood—

“We're sp-speaking English, now” he sniffs, “W-we’re sep-peaking, English now, I- I’m sorry I- c-couldn’t before.”

Steve’s heart breaks in his chest when he hears that. When he hears his best friend weeping and earnestly trying to convince them that he knows he’s meant to be speaking the same language as they are.

“…Shhhhh, now…” Y/N soothes, “…It’s okay… you can’t help it, it’s not your fault…”

“I- I t-tried” he bleats, upset making his Brooklyn drawl stronger somehow, “Doll, I— I tried b-but my head…”

“I know…” she promises, “…It’s alright, sweetheart— I’m sorry— I’m sorry ‘bout all that noise…”

He clings to her so tightly that her t-shirt tears under his metal thumb.

The memory of the skull splitting siren making his whole world spin for a moment;

“We won’t do that again” she promises, “I’ll get Tony to figure somethin’ out— even if there ever is a need for somethin’ like that, we can’t have it be so loud…”

“—I’ll be good-” he promises pathetically, “I- I s-swear, I— I- Please, I- I c-cant t-take that n-noise, again…”

That’s more than Steve can process. He pushes up and leaves the room in silence, hoping that the route back to his suit is deserted. He doesn’t think he can handle a run in with anyone. Not with how full his own eyes are now.

Y/N barely notices his departure. She’s too busy hushing the cowering man in her arms. Because he is cowering in her arms now. He’s shaking like a wounded stray, chest heaving with sobs.

He’s too big to hide against her, really, but some how he’s managing.

His entire face is angled downwards, obscured from view as he presses his brow into her shoulder.

All she can do is hold him. Hold him, and murmur out gentle streams of praise until he finally starts to settle down.

Until his body caves in and he drifts off into something that could almost pass for sleep.

Y/N thinks it might’ve been more convincing if his hands hadn’t stayed furled in the fabric of her top.

“C’mon, handsome” she sighs, “If you wanna’ try and get some rest we should get you a little more comfy”

She watches curiously as Bucky edges his face up, slowly revealing wide, blue eyes that look awfully sore.

His cheeks are red, and damp, and she can’t help but lean in and press a kiss against his chin starts to quiver.

“We’ll stay here” she promises him quietly, “We’ll stay right here, okay? but you can lie down—”

“W-wi-with you, right?”

Her chest aches as looks into his eyes and nods.

As she sees how terrified he still is.

“Yeah, Buck… we can lie down together, would you like that?”

He offers her a jerky little nod before sniffling sadly and averting his gaze.

She nods, too and starts to adjust her position, carefully rearranging their bodies so that she is the one curled up, with Bucky against her flank. He keeps both arms locked around her waist, and lets out a sad series of gulps as he fights the urge to tuck his legs into his chest.

It’s hard. He wants to protect himself, to bring his knees tight into his front, but he also wants to be held. To let Y/N protect him, while he really, really needs her too.

“Shhhh” she soothes, eager to ease the quiet little whimpers that are suddenly vibrating against her jaw, “Baby boy, you’re alright…”

Bucky is nuzzling into her throat, nose bumping against her temple in his not so subtle bid to earn more attention from her.

“What do you want, huh?” she asks, tone playful as she lets one hand thread through his hair, “You’re precious”

He lets his eyes close as he presses kiss against her cheek, and then another against her chin, and jaw, and the tender skin behind her ear…

“…Some fussin’?…” she guesses, stroking a line across the back of his ribs, “…We can do that… C’mere…”

She shifts again, rolling over a little more so that she can tuck him neatly between her legs. Her thighs box him in, and he folds instantly into the embrace, letting out a soft, hollow, sound of appreciation as his cheek meets her chest.

“You’re alright” she soothes, starting to stroke his back, “I know that scared you, but you’re okay… I promise”

He just clings to her tighter, screwing his eyes shut.

It did scare him. The sound, the not being able to speak English, the look on his oldest friends face—

“Hey” she inserts, feeling his back heave, “Hey, I’m here, I’m right here…”

“…He— H-e was mad…”

“He?” she asks, “You mean Steve?”

He nods, nose brushing her jaw.

“Baby, why would you think that?”

“..I…” he gulps, “..I couldn’t sp-speak english and th-then he… he started that noise..”

Her heart cracks down the middle as she puts it all together. As she pieces together the way it must’ve felt to him.

“Oh, Bucky” she whispers, “Bucky, no— It wasn’t like that”

“Will- W-will you tell him I’m sorry, d-doll?”

“No- Not when you haven’t done anythin’ to him that warrants an apology.”

He doesn’t reply to that. She assumes he stopped listening after the no.

“…Baby…” she murmurs, trying to soothe him, “…Steve isn’t angry, it wasn’t a punishment, it was the security system, that’s all…”

“It… it sounded like… it sounded like w-what t-they…”

“—I know” she cuts in, “I know it did, I’m sorry— We won’t do that again.”

This time, she doesn’t want to break the silence he settles into. It doesn’t feel as upset as the last time.

Her fingers roll across his temple, stroking his hair as he works at calming himself down. At letting his body adjust to the sudden lack of adrenaline;

and then, he’s sleeping.

His whole body is a deadweight, chest rising and falling in a natural rhythm that betrays how vulnerable he is.

Y/N feels herself relaxing too. He’s too warm and soft for her to stay tense, besides, the only thing she was trying to guard is him, and he’s not going anywhere.

That’s when she lets her mind drift back to Steve.

To her friend who’d fled the scene in horror whilst she’d been unable to comfort him.

She sighs, looking at her sleeping lover with sheer adoration. She’s glad he’s sleeping, because her own remorse is more than enough for her to deal with;

“What do we do about that, huh, Buck?”

Y/N knows he can’t answer. He does seem to smile in response to her voice though. She thinks that it’s probably a trick of the light, but, the idea of being able to make him feel better regardless of his consciousness is nice, so she doesn’t over think it.

“Baby” she whispers, “Shall I call him? Tell him to come back up, see that you’re okay?”

This time, he stirs.

He nuzzles into her, letting out a sigh.

“I’m taking that as a yes—“ she decides, knowing that she has to do something, “—Friday, get Steve up here please.”

The AI replies with a polite ‘Yes, boss’ and Y/N settles back against the wall, trying to arrange their bodies into a position that looks a little less intimate without rousing her partner.

It’s easy enough. Bucky is pliant, and all he really wants is to stay close. She realises pretty quickly that as long as he’s able to keep his arms around her, he goes along with the adjustment.

She strokes his hair to soothe him once she’s satisfied.

His face is hidden against her stomach. His legs are tucked into his own chest, again, but it seems a lot less sad now.

And then, she hears footsteps.

She looks up with a smile that almost falters when she sees the expression on Steve’s face.

He’s clearly been crying. His nose is red, cheeks blotchy, and his eyes look terribly sore.

“Come sit, you’re as bad as him” For a second it looks like he's going to fight her on it, but then, with a sigh and a bashful smile, he nods. Pacing silently towards Y/N before settling himself beside her on the ground, not bothering to speak deciding to just put his arm around her shoulders instead.

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goatskickin · 1 year

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💞 A bit of something to share with you this Valentine’s Day! 💞 Let’s celebrate winter with some lovely coat and outerwear options!

First is something simple: ambodycouture, but made top only, for adults AND elders.

I honestly can’t believe no one has done this. But maybe I’m the only one that likes this 2000′s furry vest + sweater combo.

Comes in the original 3 colors but also 2 new ones.

This is a *NEW* mesh! And the meshes and textures are not linked, so you can toss one or the other if you’d like. Categorized for Everyday and Outerwear.

Graydragonfly recolored efbodyturtleneckscarf over a decade (!) ago at TSR. And just recently, I got the mod that allows for Separates for All, so I had a little copy-paste opportunity on my hands. Categorized for Everyday and Outerwear. The top-only sweater and scarf mesh for elder female is by Skell.

Comes in 8 colors!

The skirt counterpart is just as adorable! The bottom only mesh is by Bloom. Categorized for Everyday and Outerwear.

Also comes in 8 colors.

This was a no-brainer for me: my retextures of the Seasons trench coat, on @julietoon‘s top only version.

Categorized for Everyday and Outerwear.

I’ve always loved the shape of these cropped jackets from Bon Voyage, and I wanted to have a handful of tops that looked distinctly different from each other.

Each one has a different button, and some have sweaters underneath too. All texture credit goes to All About Style and Fashion Twist. For adult and elder; both meshes are by Skell.

Categorized for Everyday and Formal.

Did you think I’d forget about grandpa? No sir! A snuggly turtleneck sweater for your pops.

Mesh is by Skell. Categorized for Everyday and Outerwear.

This last one I am going to talk about a little more, because after the cropped jackets, these might be my favorite. They are ‘fun coats’ - for AF and EF! From left to right:

Ziva - a long patterned trench coat with boots and a turtleneck. The coat texture is AAS and Maxis, and the turtleneck is FashionTwist.

Aisyt - a recolor of one of my own meshes, SuperSpy WinterSolider. AAS had this brilliantly bright red coat texture that I was looking to work with forever, so I made use of it here! And so I could distinguish it from the other recolors I’ve made, this is a zippy coat instead of a button up one like the original texture intends. Also, has a little striped turtleneck and leather pants as well, for extra pizazz.

Ohshun - a luxe fur coat over a checked skirt! This is a rare upload of mine where the AF and EF share the same mesh. Usually I don’t do that but in this case, the mesh is bulky enough that I do not mind. Textures are AAS, Maxis, FashionTwist. Mesh is by Cocomama.

Riva - @brandinotbroke‘s 4t2 conversion of Discover University Fleece Jacket & Nifty Knitting Boots - with a beautiful AAS pattern on the coat! The boots have been edited a tiny bit as well. Prende - a belted trench featuring a print from an animal of unknown origin. This one has shiny leather pants too, for fabulousness. The AF mesh is by Cocomama, and the elder conversion is by me.

💕 Download - Happy Valentines Day - love, Goat 💕

#sims 2 download #sims 2 cc #ts2 download #ts2 cc #ts2cc #sims 2 clothes #sims 2 clothing #ts2 clothes #ts2 clothing #clothes for grandma #clothes for grandpa #justice for grandpa

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viperchick47 · 1 year

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Please someone help a girl with not enough writing confidence out here. My need for WinterSolider!Bucky x reader fics is too damn high. Like-

Both are forced weapons of Hydra

Whenever they are forced to train/fight the other, Winter feels guilt but no clue why he does

Winter kept reader a secret from anyone and everyone, buried so deep in his own memories that not even Bucky is aware she exists

When Bucky escaped Hydra, he's filled with tons of guilt and like a part of him is missing, more so than just his memories

One day the Avengers raid a base only to stumble upon and rescue reader and bring her back to the compound

Seeing reader again wakes Winter back up and sends him into protective overdrive

Bucky agrees to keep her safe if Winter goes back to his mental room so they stay out of the Raft

Ends up falling for reader

"You see why I kept her to myself? She's too pure for this world. This life... that life, she's all that got us through. This may be your body Sargent Barnes but if anything happens to her, I will take it back and burn this world to protect her"

Honestly, the idea of Winter and Bucky hating eathother to end up finding common ground in reader and at some point admitting they both need the other just does something to me. If anyone has any recs along that idea, hell or even wants to write one and wants/needs a proof reader for it, please for the love of this man, tag/comment/ask me

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes drabble #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barns fanfiction #bucky smut #bucky x female reader #james buchanan bucky barnes #james bucky buchanan barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #winter soldier x reader

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yn-barnes · 5 months

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Exploring explosions ~

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Series

Summary - While on a mission, something happens to bucky. On his journey to recovery, he finds something he wants more than life.

:⚠️warnings: talk of unconscious people, talks of torture and violence ⚠️:

Bucky x reader (no use of Y/N)

(Idk if this makes sense.. it makes sense to meee)

You watch from the back of the room, as 4-6 shield agents continue their 'interaction' it was torture not only to look at, but probably also to go throught, it was disturbing to watch, so you got up trying to make a little scene as your chair loudly scraps along the floor and to pick up your books, looking up and seeing mostly everyone even a couple agents in the room with him staring at you, so you left to head to your room, you slept in the compound most nights even thought you had a apartment. You threw your books on your desk as you walk towards the large window covering the whole back wall.

You fell backwards on your bed and stared at the ceiling. You were in your own world and didn't realise your phone was blowing up, you came back to reality when you heard a frantic knock at your door, getting up you unlocked it and a red headed assassin barged through before slamming he door shut and using all your 4 locks making sure she used them all. She was leaning on the door with her ear to it, listening. She swallowed dramatically. "I'm never gonna make fun of you for all your locks again." She said while sounding out of breath. You tried to listen to what she was running.. from?

"I don't hear anything.. what's going on?" You whispered as she slowly made her way to your bed, sitting at the foot of it.

"He just appeared like right there and.." she tried speaking but also trying to catch her breath." I walked in, trying to remind them you left, so it's over, but.. he was out. They were all dead or unconscious in his.. room.. he was just watching them..." she looked at you like she wouldn't believe herself, but she saw it, so she had to.

"And you ran here? To me, to the woman who hates, HATES violence, " you gave her a look on confusion. "OK, wasn't me best move, but I thought with your past.." she tried reasoning but gave up pretty quickly, you give a slow nod as you walked to your desk and relieved you grabbed some of the wrong papers. You turned your head, giving her a lovely smirk. "Guess what?" You choked out, but you were met with a defeated look. You just hum picking up the right papers and make piles before grabbing the wrong ones and heading towards the door with Nat praying behind you.

~~~

You giggle as tried defending herself - "So you're one of the more deadly assassins the red room even made.. but you're scared when he looked at you, and you just ran, not knowing if he was also running.. Hahaha, cmon Nat, it's funny, " you giggled as you reached for your badge as the bay was on lockout. Before you could swipe it, you got a weird feeling when you realised you weren't afraid of the wintersolider and weren't scared when Nat almost took out the door and told you her lovely story. You were going to say something but didn't and just swiped your badge with a beep. You shrugged as it took a while for the door to open. As it slowly opened, you went to take a step inside, and you stopped looking around.

You saw the room a mess desks and tables tipped papers everywhere, glass shards covering the floor, what looks like ripped clothing scattered through out the room, without thinking or even looking you slowly slip your hand towards a big red button "you believe me now?" You hear the shake in nats' voices before hitting the panic button. The room starts spinning as what you think is classical music plays in your head, your own world turned into a record player, and you were the record.

@sapphirebarnes @cjand10 @unaxv @scott-loki-barnes

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mayfieldss · 3 years

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Coffee girl - Bucky Barnes

Warnings: Nothing much, just fluff

BuckyxFemreader

Falcon and the winter solider spoilers

Part 2 here

He could feel it deep in his bones. Every time he passed couples on the streets. Every time he sat on his couch alone at night. Every time Yuri mentioned going out on a date when they went out to lunch. He felt it. He felt you out there somewhere. He didn’t know who you were or where you were but he knew you were out there. And that you were the someone for him.

You felt it too. Every time you went to bed at night alone. Every time you would serve a couple at the coffee shop you worked at. Every time you looked out the window, you looked toward the horizon and you felt him. The one for you. Out there somewhere.

It was late afternoon on Wednesday, when Bucky was walking home from Lunch with Yuri. The old man had mentioned going on a date once again but Bucky didn’t feel like it. With his hands in his pockets he strolled down the street thinking of nothing. Listening to everything.

You were walking down that same street after a long day at work, making coffees, thinking of everything and listening to nothing. You thought of him, he listened for you.

Well you weren’t thinking of him. You were thinking of what it was like to have someone. Someone like everyone else had but different.

He wasn’t listening for you. But he was listening to everyone who had someone. He wanted someone just like everyone else, But he wanted his someone to be different.

It wasn’t like every romance movie in history. You didn’t collide on the street and drop your things. You didn’t help each other up and offer your hands and names. In fact, you walked straight past him and he walked straight past you.

You wouldn’t be that close to each other for another month. You wouldn’t come as close as you did that day until another thirty one days passed. And when you met again you would be completely different people.

+++

Bucky had been in therapy for a while now. Nothing much had changed with his nightmares. They still came to haunt him and he still lied about them, but one thing he had spoke up about, was that lost feeling. The missing piece that he needed to find. The piece in himself that couldn’t be filled by a notebook full of names. His therapist had told him to open up. Meet new people, just like she always did. Every session was about Bucky's social life. He knew he had close to no friends other than Sam, who was questionable, and Yuri. He understood that he needed other people in his life to be happy. He couldn’t be alone with his thoughts all the time. But it always came down to the final problem. The one thing he couldn’t change. His arm. He was self conscious about it and it made him feel dangerous. Nobody would see him as anything more than that if they saw it.

“How do you suggest I make Friends Doc?”

It was another one of the long, drawn out therapy sessions and the Doctor had brought up the lack of numbers in his phone once again. She blinked away her frustrations with him and he resisted the urge to chuckle. She was frustrated.

“James, Have you been anywhere out of the ordinary lately?”

Bucky exhaled leaning back against the couch “Like what, Antarctica?”

She didn’t laugh “James, step outside of that damn small box and go some place different, Eat out somewhere you haven’t been. Go to the park. Just do something new”.

Bucky exhaled loudly once more, running a hand over his face “Whatever you say Doc”.

+++

You had been working harder than usual lately. The Business was going downhill and your boss was going insane trying to keep the shop in one piece. You couldn’t afford to loose this job. It was the only thing you had going for you at the moment and you didn’t think there was much else you would be able to get in Brooklyn after the blip. Everyone had been scavenging for jobs and you were one of the lucky few who had one. Part of that reason was because you hadn’t faded away with half of the population.

“Flat white and a latte!” One of your coworkers called to you, their voice tired and down, sounding just like everyone felt. Making the drinks was the easy part. Dealing with the customers was hard. It was either a sad lady, an angry man, or a moody prankster teen. There was no in between.

‘Gary, who ordered the latte?” You ask as you now held both drinks in hand. They were burning your palms and you wanted to put them down badly but the customers were nowhere in sight. Gary turned and looked over the counter. “Seems like another order and ditch” Gary muttered.

“Hey!” the voice wasn’t loud but it was enough to make you turn your head. A man with short black hair had just entered the shop. He was dressed head to toe in dark clothing. Black shirt, jacket, pants, shoes and black gloves. You smile at him though it came out as more of a wince, the drinks in your hands truly burning now.

“I’ll take those” The man spoke as he reached the counter, seeming to see your struggle holding the hot cups, he moves the menus and cookie jars away from the counter, allowing you room to place them.

As you let them go you looked to your hands, Bright red and stinging.

“You okay?” His voice was calm and soothing and you did nothing to stop him as he reached over and touched your palm with his gloved hand.

looking up you nod your head, trying again for a smile to make up for the failure of previously. You pull your hand back and look around the coffee shop.

“You weren’t the one who ordered these drinks” you state having seen the two young teens that had come in before the man.

“Yeah I know” He smiles at you “But I can’t let good coffee go to waste”.

You raise an eyebrow at him “How’d you know it was being thrown away?” You keep your eyes on him despite running your fingers across your aching hands. You knew it was a dumb question but you had to ask anyway, for the sake of conversation.

“Well the people who ordered them clearly aren’t here and I doubt you would be holding hot coffee that long just for the fun of it”.

You smile at his statement and notice the blue of his eyes. They were like the waves of a clear ocean pulling you into their tropical embrace.

“Um-” You realized you were staring “Are you sure you want these?” You gesture to the two coffees and the man nods though he seemed suddenly shy.

“I don’t think I can drink both of them but would you be interested in having one with me?” he curses under his breath instantly, seeming to notice how awkward the question sounded. You bite your lip taken aback by the offer. He was cute, no doubt and you looked over your shoulder at Gary who was giving you a thumbs up from under the coffee machine.

You turn back to the man “Sure why not”.

+++

Bucky never thought you would accept his offer. He only came into this small shop because of his therapist. “Go somewhere you haven’t been” She had told him. “Do something new”.

This wasn’t technically new. Bucky had been on dates before but those dates had been over ninety years ago. And this in his old fashioned opinion, was not a date. Besides he barely knew the person across from him. He couldn’t believe he thought this was a good idea. He now sat across from a beautiful women he had never seen in his life, in a coffee shop he had never been too.

“So...” She smiled at him “How are you this fine day?”.

Bucky let himself chuckle “I’m alright thanks, you?”

She smiled again. A smile that filled Bucky with warmth.

“I’m okay thanks for asking”.

Bucky fiddled with the fingers of his gloves. It was harder to drink coffee with his them on than he thought. But he wasn’t taking them off. You seemed nice and didn’t seem like the type to judge but he still wouldn’t allow himself to remove them. He had gotten more comfortable with his arm over the years but he still wasn’t ready to roll up his sleeves and show the world.

“So what do you do for work?”

Bucky’s mind raced at your question. He didn’t know how to answer. But you were looking at him expectantly, awaiting his response. He panicked.

“Government, I uh- work for the government”.

Your eyes widened “Government?”

Bucky nodded his head.

“Elaborate” You spoke lifting your cup to your lips. Bucky had let you take first pick of the drinks and you had chosen the Latte. He didn't mind. He wasn't interested in the coffees anymore.

“Sorry, can’t do that” Bucky stumbled for words hoping you would accept his answer and change the topic of conversation. He knew you wouldn’t. It was just a hope. Just like Bucky knew you would, you asked another question.

“Do you work for that Global repatriation council thing? The people dealing with the aftermath of the blib and stuff?”

Bucky shook his head no. He didn’t know what to say to you. Oh I don’t actually have a job, I just lied to you. I actually just got pardoned for a bunch of murders I committed in the past. This coffee is really good by the way.

“Well then what do you do? Explain more to me” You continued to push. Your voice was so gentle and kind. He hated the way you made it so hard to lie.

“I used to be in the army” technically he wasn’t lying about that.

“Oh really” You took another sip of your latte and Bucky watched as the sun came through the coffee shop window, Making your hair shine. He nods lifting his cup carefully to his lips.

“I can’t imagine what that must have been like for you”.

Bucky didn’t know how to respond to that. Sympathy was a hard thing to work around and he experienced it on a daily basis. Something he didn’t want this relationship to turn into was a pity party dedicated to James Buchanan Barnes. He ignored your response.

“So what’s it like making coffee everyday?”.

You smiled another heart warmer at him and he sent you one back. You really did have a great smile. “It’s boring to be honest, and painful” You gestured to your hands that had been burned by the hot coffee cups earlier.

“So what? You don’t get any interesting people with interesting orders?” Bucky questioned raising an eyebrow at you. His coffee was going cold but he was okay with that.

“The most interesting customer I’ve had all week is you”.

“And what’s so interesting about me?”

“Well for starters, you are wearing gloves inside a particularly warm coffee shop” You smile at him but he didn’t find it funny. This was what he had been dreading.

“I have-” Bucky looked to his hands and then up to you “Poor circulation”

You frowned but nodded your head in understanding, not questioning it further. You talked for a while your conversations going from one topic to another and before you knew it an hour had passed. Bucky watched as you turned your head to the door, three people entering, obviously a group of friends.

“I should probably get back to work” You sigh giving him an apologetic smile. Bucky nodded in understanding and stood to help you clean the table and take the empty cups to the counter. He watched as you tied your apron back around your waist, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Well I guess I better head off"

You lifted your head to look at him and he sent you a smile "I enjoyed today".

You blush slightly and bite the inside of your cheek "So did I".

As Bucky headed for the door he took one last look back at you and to his surprise you were watching him leave. "I never caught your name" you say as he pushes the door open, making the bell atop the doorframe ring.

"It's James, but call me Bucky".

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glitcheddead · 1 year

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Are you having dreams again?

ETSY

#glitcheddead #bucky #buckybarnes #bucky buchanan #winter solider #wintersolider #marvel #marvel avengers #avengers #mcu #sebatian stan #art #illustration

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zoella-1017 · 3 years

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#marvel #mcu #tfatws #tfatws memes #tfatws spoilers #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sarah wilson #marvel memes #marvel phase four #falconandwintersoldier #i need the next episode #wintersolider #falcon #marvel humour

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rano-nano5 · 2 years

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HappyBirthday!!

Bucky!

#bucky barnes #sam wilsom #wintersolider #steve rogers #Happybirthday #mcu fanart #falcon and the winter soldier

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cha0sfix · 3 years

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Congruent Triangles aren’t Soulmates.

Pairing : Bucky x UnnamedSoulmate, mentions of Sam Wilson and OC characters.

Summary : Soulmateau. The first thing you hear your soulmate say, would be tattooed on your arm. Bucky has a strange mark and he’s about to meet his match.

Warnings : Use of word ‘condom’ I guess? A few swear words? It’s just comedic fluff and chaotic happy Bucky

Its my first attempt at writing a pic - go easy on me. Haha.

Bucky Barnes, had the strangest soulmark among his friends. ‘My dude, Congruent Triangles aren’t soulmates’.

“What do you think it means stevie?” he asks, while picking out clothes to pack his bags. Steve just shrugged his shoulders. Math was the last thing on their minds. They had barely paid attention in class and life and crept upon them. They were young and ready for war. It was three more days before he left for his enlistment. Plus nobody talked like that in the 40s. But he had hope that he would come back and meet her someday.

This was when he was a young boy from Brooklyn and not when he was turned into weapon.

Present Day, Stark Tower

“Soulmates are hella hard to find. I mean it's the first thing you hear _them_ say. It doesn't even have to be to you.” the new recruit pouts at Sam. “Mine says - Gin, or vodka? Do you know how many people I have heard say that at parties? I am never going to find them.”

Sam laughs, “It’s okay, there is no hard and fast rule that you have to find them, choosing to love someone even if they’re not your soulmate is still considered noble, I never found mine and yet I am happy with my girlfriend. She knows who hers is, she just decided she doesn’t like him”.

“Mine’s probably long dead at this point, I just feel sad she didn’t get to choose if she wants to meet me or not,” says Bucky as he gets up to fetch coffee. “Also imagine saying something really stupid when you’re around your soulmate, and them having to have had carried that their whole life. Knowing me, they’d possibly hate me at all weird things I have said.”

“Don’t be sad Buck, only last week you exclaimed - Get them to stop throwing condoms at me, Sam out in public. I am sure if your soulmate was around she would have loved to carry that on her.”

“Oh yeah, damn.” Bucky laughs. “Anyway, I am going to the local library in a bit to catch up on a few books that I have missed over the years, it's been quite a while since I’ve got time to read, tell me if you want me to get you something when I’m coming back.”

“Nah, Buck, we’re good, see you later man”.

At the library.

Bucky, walks in and asks the librarian where the books he wanted are and proceeds to walk in the direction. The local library is quite small, and he decides it is comfy enough to spend the afternoon. There are tables in between sections for people to sit and read.

He walks to his shelf, and through it he sees two girls studying, he picks his books at sits at a table a little far from them. They were too busy bickering and enjoying over their books to notice Buck. He tries to not eavesdrop, but with super hearing it gets that much more difficult, because one, they were on a table right behind him and two one of them looks exactly like his type.

“Dude, everyone in our group has found their soulmate, I need to find mine before college ends or I am going to be single forever.” says taller of the two girls

‘Is everyone worried about their soulmates today?’, Bucky thinks to himself as he tries to focus on his page. He continues to read and zones out.

“You’ll find them. What’s your hurry? We have sessionals next week and you gotta focus my dude” says the other girl. She was cute, in her large green sweater and beanie, and she had been tapping the desk, possibly to a tune stuck in her head.

“Bro, if college ends, I will be an Msc in Math, nobody is dating a math major. Also nobody is meeting one considering that I will be preparing for Phd anyway. Look, even this damn triangle has a soulmate.”

She starts laughing, which distracts Bucky from his current paragraph.

“My dude, congruent triangles are not soulmates”

“Now that’s something I never thought I’d hear”

They both start laughing again.

Bucky closes his book violently. They start shushing at each other not wanting to disturb the man in front of them.

“Maybe we should get some coffee? It’s been a while. We’ll finish when we come back. I heard the macaroons in the cafeteria are good”, his soulmate’s friend whispers.

“Sounds good. Let’s get it and come”

Bucky, is now caught in a dilemma, anything weird he says, will definitely be tattooed on his soulmate’s arm. And he has no idea how to approach her.

“Should I approach her?” he thinks. “Would anyone want to meet their soulmate if they’re 106, an ex assassin and on possibly every country’s radar?. “But she also deserves to know that I exist and the fact that she exists, after these many years, does mean fate knew what it was doing, right?. He clenches his face. “Gah. I can’t know any more details, without opening my mouth. I hate this” he curses under his breath.

The soulmate’s friend comes back with coffee, and he couldn’t see his soulmate. His heart sinks a little. She spots Bucky on her way back. She smiles.

“Hello, you’re the winter soldier, right? That is so cool. I am surprised we didn’t notice you the whole time we were sitting here.”

“Haha, no those days are over. It's just Bucky now. I don’t blame you though, I keep to myself, gotten pretty good at not being noticed” He smiled. It was safe for him to talk now.

“Maybe when my friend comes back with macaroons, you can make yourself visible. She is a fan you know. I think she just secretly likes your new arm. Eh, can’t blame her it is very pretty”

Bucky visibly panics, “Haha, thanks, I guess I can.”

“You look funny, my friend doesn’t bite. At least most times,” she laughs. “See you around, if she catches me chatting you up instead of studying, she will be the death of me”.

She sits back at the table. Her friend goes straight upto her table and sits with her friend. She leans to whisper. “Dude, it's the winter soldier in front of us”

“What? For real? That’s so cool, did you get a look at the arm?” she enquires quizzically.

“Stop fetishising his arm bro, don’t you have to have to study now”

“ I do, I do, I just wanted to, you know, know more? Does the other arm gets sore? How much can it lift? Why would someone’s parents name their kid bucchann? Also why does he wear those weird dog tags?

Bucky is not at a breaking point violently laughing under his breath at her questions and has forgotten the whole soulmate fiasco because of a pretty girl asking questions about him.

He turns around and goes, “The name on the tag says James, sweetheart. I wear the tags cause they remind me where I am from. Bucchann is just a middle name and I guess ma liked it. Was’t weird in the 40s”

She looks at him, shocked.

“DUUUUUDEEE. Did you just? Yo, the winter solider? Dudee” her friend starts to squeak.

She smiles sheepishly. She knows.

‘OH NO. SHE KNOWS, what did I say again?’ he thinks to himself. ‘AH JAMES this is why Sam doesn’t trust you to do things on your own.”

She finally says “Hi James, I guess I’m your soulmate judging by our reactions”

“Yea, I mean, I do have your sentence on my arm. Sorry I eavesdropped on you. But atleast now I know. I didn’t come up to say anything cause um I wasn't sure how to. Plus ex assassin here” he points to himself as he smiles.

“Oof I got lucky, I thought I'd end up with a fuckboi. An ex assassin is much better bargain. Who wears tags anymore. I almost forgot they were a military thing.” she smiles, “Wait- what sentence did you hear?

Now it was Bucky’s turn to look sheepish. “My dude, congruent triangles are not soulmates”.

They all start laughing.

Bucky wasn’t wrong. He would meet her someday. It was just a long wait and a bookshelf away.

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testingthewatersss · 3 months

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Three Nights Night one Trigger warnings for PTSD and nightmares, mentions of war, torture, phantom limb etc, wintersolider flashbacks in future parts. Bucky Barnes x F Reader Part One of three 2300 words fluff, angst, comfort. 18+ MDNI Apparently it takes three days to form a habit, you decide to see what three nights can do.

Falling in love had been easy. Easier than breathing.

So easy in fact that Bucky hadn’t been able to stop himself from worrying about it all for at least 10 hours a day.

Worrying about being so dependant on another person, when he’d lost everyone else that he’d ever cared about, aside from Steve.

Steve who had laughed at his concern, a quick “That’s why they call it falling, Buck— It’s not meant to be difficult, and if anyone deserves something nice like this, it’s you.” being the end of their conversation on the matter.

Truthfully, he isn’t that dependent on you. Not yet, anyway.

But, fighting to not fall is definitely not easy, and right now, he’s clawing onto everything he can, just so that he won’t let himself go too far too fast.

But God knows he’s in over his head already. He spends every waking second thinking about you, and when he can next see you, and talk to you, and maybe hold your hand for a moment-

Yeah, it’s like you hung the damn moon.

and now, you're standing in front of him, looking lovely as ever, in a towel fresh from the shower you've shared, and just like you do every night, you're offering to let him stay the night in your room. "Where you might actually get some rest for once"-

-and he’s trying not to say yes. He’s fighting against every fibre in his body that wants to curl up beside you right now, this second, and it’s— It’s... It's much harder than it should be.

“…Sweetheart…” you murmurs, voice concerned, “…You tell me every mornin' that your bed's too cold. I'm just reminding you that mine is very warm, and if you want to, you can start spending the nights here, you leave late and come by early as it is…”

He wants too. He really, really wants too.

And it shows.

His face is so easy to read.

You thinks absentmindedly that it’s no wonder HYDRA kept him masked so much. You wouldn't have wanted to look into his eyes all day if you were them, either.

He’s just watching you silently. Jaw ticking as he argues with himself about how to reply to your repeated offer. Not wanting to pressure him, you decide to laugh it off and kiss him goodnight, but then, you sees his eyes drop to the floor.

The expression that’s on his face now is so hopelessly forlorn that you can’t help but reach out to stroke his cheek-

His whole head snaps sidewards in an automatic bid to protect himself from a slap and you feel a dagger slice through your heart as you realise what's happening.

“Oh, Sweetheart” you whisper, fighting to keep your tone calm, “You’re tired, huh?”

He gets jumpy when he’s tired.

He gets quiet, too, and teary on occasion, and now, he looks like he’s on the verge of something new.

When he drags his gaze back to your face, he looks like a cornered stray. Like someone who’s about to be beaten half to death for flinching without permission.

“You don’t have to stay” you remind him softly, “Bucky, of course you don’t— just try and get some rest okay? I'm gettin' a little worried...”

Your hands are back at your side, and your face, he notices, your face is nothing short of adoring.

And that… God, oh, god, that is what is going to make him lose his grip;

“I, god, doll I’d love to stay with you…”

He’s said it now, and he knows that just like that, that it’s over.

That he’s giving up to the free fall and that the best he can hope for is a better landing than the last time he fell and ended up at someone else’s mercy.

“I… I just, I- I- I wanted to do it different.”

Your head tilts curiously to the side as you watch him ringing his flesh hand in his metal one.

"Different how?" you ask, a genuine quirk in your brow.

Bucky hears himself huff as his cheeks flush hottly, "I'm a lot to deal with at night" he confesses dryly, "I- I was hopin' to make it easier on you, doll- give you more time to back out"

"Back out?" You echo, almost offended by the idea, "That's-"

"I.. I really can be a lot, doll..." he cuts in, voice gruff with embarrassment, "...I know you love me, and you've always been real patient with me, you're... you're a damn angel, and I've always wanted to spend the night, I've always hated leavin' but I- I just couldn't put all of that on you, because I know it's too much-"

“-I don’t think I know what you’re talking about” you say, interuppting him with a smile, “Buck, you’re gettin’ awful flustered”

He scoffs at the playful lilt in your words and reaches up to paw at his chin, grateful for the way you'd stopped him from rambling.

“Yeah” he agrees after a breath, “You do that to me, sugar, haven’t ya noticed?”

Slower this time, you reach out to stroke his cheek again.

This time, he lets himself keen into the feeling of your fingers against his face, almost purring in delight at the contact.

“I have an idea” you say softly, “why don’t we try three nights”

“Three nights?” he echos quietly, “Three nights of what?“

"Of sharing" you tell him, beaming now, "Tonight, tomorrow and the night after, if you want to stop before then, then we will..."

I wont, Bucky thinks instantly, I won't ever want to stop, thats the problem. "If you want to keep going after that, then that's what we'll do"

"It's not me I'm worryin' about" he murmurs gruffly.

You scoff, rolling your eyes. "I've been inviting you for half a year, Barnes. I'm not going to be the one kicking you out."

"But if you do want more space, doll- then you'll tell me, right?"

You look at him, seeing the stubbornness already setting on his features, and then you nod in agreement, knowing any further argument would be pointless.

"During the three nights" he pushes, "You'll tell me, if I do anythin' that is too much for you, then you'll tell me and give me chance to fix it- promise me"

And then, you lean in and kiss him. Your palm flattens out against his jaw, and before he knows how, his own arms have laced around your waist, holding you against his chest as you pull away to nod, your free hand reaching down for his metal hand, so that you can twist your pinky around his. "Promise” you murmur, “and, will you please try remember that I love you, and want you here... don't worry too much, okay? nothin's goin' to change that”

Your tone has shifted now, you're not playful, you're genuinely asking because you care about him, and it shows.

"Promise" he says, smiling as he squeezes his little finger gently around yours before bringing your hands up to his lips, where he can kiss against your knuckles, hiding his clear emotion for a second.

Before you can get suspicious about the way he's trying to bury his face in your fingers, he’s throwing himself into your front, grabbing you into such a tight hug that you have to gasp for air in between a bout of surprised laughter. You flex your newly freed fist and waste no time in squeezing him back, trying and failing to return the strength that he is putting into the embrace.

Bucky’s not laughing, though. He’s just holding you.

He’s just clutching you as tightly as he can without hurting you, and burying his face in your shoulder, while he tries to convince himself that he won't end up doing something that makes him lose you forever.

You give him a minute, not wanting to try and break free from the stifling position when he so clearly needs the closeness;

and then, you realise that his pulse is racing. You can feel it thrumming against your front, too fast to be your own.

“Sweetheart” you murmur, voice betraying your concern, “You okay?”

Your breathlessness jars him. He remembers himself instantly, and releases his grip with a flush of embarrassment.

“I’m sorry” he bursts, “Shit- doll, I- I’m real sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“What? Hug me?”

“Crush you” he corrects, grateful for the playful tone you're using, “I didn’t—”

He looks so bashful. His eyes are firmly set downwards and he’s wringing his flesh hand in his metal one in an obvious display of awkwardness. and because he wants to reach out and hold your hand, again-

“I’m fine” you tell him calmly, reaching out to stroke his cheek, “you look exhausted though, huh? Shall we turn in?”

Silently, he looks up at you, and you can physically see a layer of bravado falling away.

This is difficult for him, you realise, being vulnerable doesn’t come easy to him, especially not right now, and sleeping next to someone? It doesn’t really get much more vulnerable than that.

“I love you” You decide to say, disregarding how often you've already said it, “It’s going to be alright.”

And then you're reaching out to take his hand, and he’s letting you, because he's yours, and he doesn't want to pretend not to be, not now he thinks it might all work out, and then, the next thing he knows, he’s in bed.

The journey there, and getting undressed is a blur.

He’s so nervous that he’s in a daze.

He thinks that that's ridiculous.

You've been intimate, more intimate than just getting undressed and being under a blanket together, anyway. But for some reason this feels much more intense than all of that.

And then, he’s back to starring.

He’s on his side, a few inches away from where you are, and he’s just looking at your face. Trying to drink in the sight of your features, trying to memorise the curve of your jaw, and your cheeks, and your mouth—

“C’mere, sweetheart”

Your voice is like honey, and he’s blushing like a teenager;

“How do you like sleeping?” you ask, genuinely curious, “Cuddled up? or with some space?”

He opens his mouth to reply, but then he closes it. Swallowing dryly and reaching up to paw at his jaw while he thinks of a way to tell you that he honestly doesn’t know anymore without it sounding tragic.

“It’s been awhile since you’ve had options” you say for him, “Did you ever share a bed with a girl before?”

A crease forms between his brows as he tries to force his mind back;

“Does my ma count?”

you laugh at that, soft and airy as you reaches out to stroke his temple.

“No” you murmurs, “No, I don’t think so…”

“Then no” he sighs, “I never did more than kiss the dames I courted, doll”

“This is ‘more than kissing’?” you tease softly, “We’re barely touching, Barnes.”

“Barely” he agrees, voice almost a breath, “But back then, things… things were different.”

“I know” you say, sympathetic now, “I’m sure you were a perfect gentleman”

“I wouldn’t say that” he murmurs, edging his front towards you, “a gentleman wouldn’t have been kissing them either”

“Well I’m sure they weren’t complaining” you sigh, “a handsome officer like you, they could’ve done worse.”

You're beaming at him as he scoffs, small and shy under your consideration.

“Want to try gettin’ closer?” he hears you offer, “You can always go back to your side if you get too warm.”

It’s almost too good to be true. The idea of being curled up in your arms. Of being able to sleep tucked up against your chest, of maybe, just maybe, being able to drift off without his thoughts spiralling into panic because everything is too quiet and he can’t convince himself that he’s not back in some awful cell—

“C’mere…” You purr, adjusting your position to receive him, “…It’s alright…”

It’s more than alright.

He's pressed against you. He can feel your arms wrapped around his back, holding him close and the skin on skin is so soothing that he has to bite back a moan of delight as he settles into position. His flesh arm is bent up, with his fist under his chin, and his metal one is draped over your waist so that he can feel your pulse thrumming through the censors in his palm.

It’s stable, and calm, and he is so, so in love that his chest feels like it could burst from the pressure, and he wouldn't have a single complaint—

“I don’t want to speak to soon” you murmur, “but I think this might be a winner, huh?”

“Yeah” he agrees quietly, “I— I think so.”

The idea of tearing himself away from the embrace is heinous.

The idea of going back to his own room in three nights, knowing what heaven feels like is worse.

This, is the closest to calm he’s felt in a life time. This, feels a lot like the mercy he used to beg for, back when mercy hadn’t been something he understood.

And then his eyes are closed.

And he’s falling asleep, and he thinks dreamily that he should be trying harder to stay awake. That he shouldn’t be giving in this easily—

but then, he hears you.

He hears you hushing him, exhaling gently into his hair as you stroke a slow circle across the bare skin of his back, and he decides that if he is going to fall, then he’s glad it’s with you. The fact that he's deeply asleep in minutes doesn't really surprise you.

The fact that he stays that way does. You'd been prepared to soothe him for hours, if that's what he'd needed, but then again, you think, as you start to drift off yourself, he probably has a lot of actual resting to catch up on.

x | night 2 | night 3 Masterlist

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