#will remove if asked of course

[draagu]

even more!!

join the server

#my art #emotes #btw! #if anyone wants like an icon made from one of these #shoot an ask over! #these are all exported as 182x182 so if you want a bigger size #i can export it as that too #and put a pride flag in the bg #or remove the text #anything really #of course you can always make something out of these yourself

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i want nothing more than for Ezra & Thrawn to be not enemies, not friends, but a secret third thing - roommates

#sorry to be star wars posting on main but im star wars posting on main #i just think it would be so fucking funny #if they all get to thrawn and he & ezra are just chillin with space martinis #sabine: where's ezra 🔫>:(🔫 #thrawn: literally just turn your head to the left #but fr though has anyone... Asked if thrawn wants to be Involved??? #maybe hes done. maybe hes retired. #same with ezra #theyre busy stealing each others leftovers and fighting over the thermostat #whatever goes on in the galaxy is none of their business. they have Removed Themselves from the situation #i hope they Genuinely Dislike each other but theyre like... bonded like stray cats now #thats what trans-galactic purrgil travel does to a mf #ultimate roadtrip arc.... #i hope it made them both simultaneously worse and better <3 #i hope ezra does literally anything and thrawn is like 'this fucking kid... (derogatory. annoyed. tired. somehow emotionally attached)' #ahsoka and sabine turn up and thrawn is shoving ezra at them like Please Take Him Back Let Me Have Peace #while ezra is like 'awwww youd miss me too much (malicious. snarky. tired. somehow emotionally attached)' #of course its not gonna go like this. theyre gonna have thrawn be all like 'muahaha finally i have been rescued so that i may be eeeevilll' #not my thrawn but Whatever.... #hes a bad bitch but let him be. let him slay in retirement #and ezra's gonna be this wise jedi sage who's unlocked the secrets of the force blah blah blah #not MY blueberry boy but Whatever.... #i hope he's cloud-surfing with purrgil. living his best life #absolutely unprompted #ahsoka series #WAIT NO I WANT ONE OTHER THING #i need zeb & kallus to be gay married on lira san thankyew <3 #(also for ahsoka's lekku/montrals to be longer but we all know thats not gonna happen....) #(every day i look at live-action shaak ti and sigh) #(at least we get a stellar loth cat animatronic instead of weird cgi <3)

[xerospaced]

There's this guy, Dr Russell Barkley, he does talks on ADHD. I've come across a fair bit of his content on various platforms.

Every time I see one of his videos I end up in tears. Usually within the first few minutes.

He speaks very plainly and clearly about the function of ADHD. He presents a realistic picture of what is happening and what is required.

I came across this one:

In typical fashion, I found myself crying within a few minutes.

Because other than schooling I have never had a support system. I have never had a single person in my life really hold me accountable. I have never had anyone work with me to create some kind of structure or consistency.

Everything he said, even within the first minutes, resonated with me so deeply. Because I honestly have no idea if I can do this alone. And it scares me that I might wind up getting nowhere because I am lacking in support.

ADHD is manageable. But it is damn near impossible to manage alone.

I just don't know where to go from here.

#mine #adhd #executive dysfunction #dr russell barkley #D has of course offered his support #but i cant foresee this being feasible #i dont need daily governance but i do need it regularly #multiple times a week at least #and hes a very busy guy #and i dont want to portray myself as incapable #he is also literally the only person who is offering support #and he does know how to push me effectively without inducing guilt #i dont know if its reasonable or too much to ask #i dont know if he would be happy to accommodate or if i will be painting myself into a corner as someone who is not independent enough #yes. communicating this and receiving his support would help us progress this relationship which we both want #but what if disclosing this needs removes me as an option altogether? #i dont hate having adhd #and there are positive sides to it #i hate the culture of independence #i hate the weakness attached to those who need support #and i hate the shame and guilt that comes with it #im lost #Youtube

[bleue-flora]

Mmm… snippet of future Musical Chairs?

“Thinking about him hurts like a kick to the gut. He hasn’t seen Sapnap since he… died. Since he drowned in poisoned blood. Since he limped through the snow, a bloodied trail behind him, knowing the way and yet feeling utterly lost, wondering if he’ll ever forget the cold look in Sapnap’s eyes and the apathetic greed of his voice when he too asked about the book right before swinging a sharp sword (his sword!) into his flesh just like his fiancé had so many times before. If he’ll ever lose the frost freezing his heart as Sapnap, his friend, his brother stood there in the last possession to his name, denying Dream that small mercy of having what is his. If he’ll ever forget the sound of Sapnap’s disbelieving words as he questioned if the torture really happened as if it wasn’t clear as day from his appearance. As if he wasn’t leaning to one side, standing on a knee bent in the wrong direction. As if a vast spread of scars didn’t sprinkle across the patches of his exposed skin. As if his once dirty blonde hair wasn’t crusted in layers of blood. As if his words meant nothing, weren’t worth enough to even consider. As if he didn’t lie the last time they spoke saw eachother about coming back to visit him.”

#ah and this is what I write as Sam works on removing my will to live… freaking Sapnap… #in other words if life was nice to me I’d finally be able to write the fluff I have planned for good cop bad cop but until then…. aaaannngst #c!dream #dsmp #dreblr #mmm more musical chairs… referring to of course when Sapnap killed him… brutal… #I’d post the next chapter but I’m not happy with the dialogue…. Sam is the utter worst and I hate writing him so much… #so I guess enjoy this for the moment until I stop falling asleep which editing chapter 3 🤦‍♀️… #musical chairs #crows nest #dsmp fanfic #happy angst month #don’t judge too hard it’s my first draft literally written a handful of minutes ago #dream smp #c!dream and c!sapnap #dsmpblr #c!sapnap #dream fanfic #fanfic snack #sigh ​why is it so much to ask for some nice peace and quiet to sleep…. :’( #and for something to work properly like it should…

[sepulchritude]

alright well, i'm trying to figure out if i've acquired some learned helplessness, and what to do about it. i don't know if what i'm dealing with is a result of a combination of illnesses (likely), or if this is one aspect i can target to make a material improvement. i do have adhd, and some combination of c-ptsd and depression, and so far adderall has not at all helped my ability to Do Things, as if there's some kind of mental blockade between me and tasks. i don't know what to do at this point. (sorry if this isn't really enough context? this still is the internet after all lol)

You followed up to say you’re pretty sure it’s learned helplessness now, so let me start with a non-pop psych description of LH (fully agree with your previous ask that googling was unhelpful, I tried and got nothing good)

LH occurs when a person is repeatedly, consistently punished (by others or their environment) for their efforts, and thus learns that action = pain. LH is a completely rational response to an irrational environment; when trying to do anything gets you hurt, you quickly learn not to do anything. Like other trauma responses, it’s the brain’s way of keeping you safe in an unsafe situation, and the trouble comes in when you move to a safer environment while keeping those old survival mechanisms.

So if that’s what you’re running into, the main course of action I would recommend is getting a therapist who has experience with PTSD and specifically C-PTSD like you mentioned. They’ll be able to work with you personally and give you actual tailored professional help. But for like, daily things you can do in the meantime, I think one workaround could be leaning on trusted others to help you get started. Asking a friend to go with you, sit with you, hang around and chat while you work, etc could help because although maybe You can’t do [insert thing here], they aren’t held to the same standards your brain holds you to, and their presence might help kickstart you into action. Even just telling someone about the problem can be a huge help in getting you past the problem, so definitely recruit people you can complain to and/or call for moral support. But also, just knowing that this is a problem you have can help you start working through it simply because now you can learn to recognize and refute it.

With trauma sometimes we have to be scientists; if your brain’s hypothesis is that doing things doesn’t accomplish anything, then your job is to seek out evidence and evaluate it and determine if that’s true or not. Maybe it was true in the past, but you can’t really know if it’s still true in your current situation until you test it gradually, over time, and in a wide range of activities. The goal is that eventually you will compile enough evidence (lived experience) that your brain can stop defaulting to its old strategies, but this will take time. Just don’t beat yourself up while you’re trying to learn and grow.

Hopefully that helps! Trauma is a bitch but I’m glad you’re in a place where you can start unpacking it and hopefully find some more peace in your life.

#ironically we were JUST talking about learned helplessness in class the other day #and of course disclaimer that i am not a licensed professional and these are just my thoughts for you to reflect on #would also recommend working with your psychiatrist to make sure your meds are working well #antidepressants don’t fix trauma but they can lift the haze enough to allow you to breathe and start working on things like the trauma #same with adderall. maybe it can’t fix the LH problem but it can remove barriers in your way that you don’t need #ask #antivertigo #sepulchritudinous

[cannibaltranssexual]

if we're doing alt sites for communication ive had my discord in my pinned forever But i will concede that just knowing my username is not helpful At All because i cannot answer dms to save my life </3 so warning if u dm me on there i may not answer for like. weeks (<- brain broken)

HOWEVER if anyone wants to hang out in any hannibal discord servers with me, heres the (public-facing) ones where i spend like 90% of my time outside of tumblr:

Weekly Sessions w/ Dr. Hannihole Lecter (aka hole server): @love-songs-for-emma's hannibal rewatch server that has just recently finished our rewatch so atm we're just vibing (13+ with an 18+ restricted channel)

Baltimore State Hospital For for the Criminally Insane: @willgrahamsbecoming's bschi themed server, ft frederick chilton friday (16+ with 18+ restricted channels)

HannibalTV: discord server for r/HannibalTV, but there's a few of us from tumblr there as well and it's chill (18+ save for a few 16+ minors (hi) who joined before the age limit was raised, also has nsfw restricted channels)

join say hi etc etc all servers are active but not like literally drowning in messages level active so it's fun <3

#i have like reverse crowd anxiety on discord dms r so hard for me but im so chill on servers #so ur much more likely to actually have a functioning conversation with me if u just ping me in a random channel #and of course server owners can ask me at any time if u want me to remove the invites

[keungking]

to be honest, so far? top hasn't done anything for me to dislike him.

he hasn't lied and he hasn't disrespected mew, and he actually has tried to get along with mew's friends. it's not exactly his fault the friend group all have messy complicated feelings for each other.

and ever since he actually started talking and getting to know mew, the only times he's implied mew is some kind of conquest for him to win has been when boston has told him that's how he feels and what kind of person he is. all his playboy tendencies that we've been shown have been boston projecting that persona onto him.

originally he might've had douche bag intentions, but i can't help but feel like the fate he's rushing towards is being strung around mew's finger.

i just feel like things very well could've turned out fine if boston wasn't so dead set on ruining them just because he's jealous, maybe jealous because he's not the winner, and maybe jealous because his whore in arms might achieve something boston himself might desire but doesn't dare let himself chase (a mature and genuine relationship). perhaps he feels let down and abandoned, left to be the only predator playboy hunting men for sport that's left.

#only friends #only friends the series #and i don't count top not telling mew that his friend assaulted him as lying or disrespecting him #i might be completely wrong about top of course #but if you compare the way boston chases top as a prise to conquer and the way top chases mew #top isn't exactly a predator on the hunt is he #he might just not be so serious yet #Yet #i feel like we'll get to see top just perfectly crushed and heartbroken in a future episode #has there been teasers released of top and boston hooking up? i absolutely do not think that removes the likelihood of heartbreak #top's only crime is being cringe and fail when asking mew out at the bar #.txt

[zeb-z]

bo katan living the far too relatable experience of pretending to be religious for family or extended relations to keep the waters calm. when everyone else around says amen This Is The Way with conviction and she can quietly get away with not saying it. it’s like when you have to go to church for some holiday dinner - you just smile, nod your head, and take extra care to say gosh instead of god

#or like when the missionaries are over and you have to say ‘oh I just can’t pick one what about you?’ when they ask your favorite scripture #or like when you have to go to mormon girls camp and pretend to be buying and believing the shit they wake you up for at 6 am #the most realistic shit that’s ever happened in this show #the awkwardly standing there like yes He has touched me and I have found the truth and was baptized to rejoin #i have come back to the church yes of course I’ll see you next Sunday #of course I haven’t removed my helmet since This Is The Way #still don’t like her but the accuracy here is so funny to me #the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #sw #Star Wars #bo katan kryze #z speaks

[softgrungeprophet]

something something the frequency with which peter parker angrily wishes death upon people in his inner thoughts, a la "diebullseyediebullseyediebullseyediebullseye" (asm#596)

(he's pretending to be venom with a suit made of unstable molecules)

"Kill Johnny Storm! Dispose of the body!! Collect insurance!!!" (ff#17) etc...

this of course is only two (mostly) humorous examples but there are definitely more lmao

#and not counting verbal death threats (''ask me nicely.'' ''it takes three seconds.'' ''KILL YOU'' etc) #to be fair that last one is when he is deprived of his intelligence in non-stop and therefore loses his self-control #because... i mean mental awareness is kind of a key factor to that very strict self control he holds so tightly at all times #but it isn't like a threat conjured from nowhere it's just a threat that means he is no longer holding back #nadia reads comics #and of course not including the times he has actually been responsible for someone's death or grievous bodily harm... #i'm pretty sure breaking someone's arm in half while they're swimming in a body of water counts as intent to kill tbqh #but there are more direct examples... wolverine's friend... asm annual no.5... that guy he strangled and then frightened to death... #my little me—no i can't call him that it's too wooby #my handsome manslaughterer #did tumblr remove... underlining...

[isfjmel-phleg]

[ ]

#random personal stuff #whining ahead feel free to ignore #if I had a nickel for every time someone (usually a particular person close to me whom I love) responded to #my owning up to having negative or difficult emotions about something #by saying something like 'just ask the Lord to take that away' and acting like they've magically solved my problem #I'd have a lot of nickels #and I am frustrated with this #first of all it feels dismissive #it feels like 'I don't want to deal with your Bad Emotions so go get that quickly and easily removed so you can be acceptable again' #instead of addressing the problem it's telling you to slap a spiritual bandaid on it and everything is fine #and secondly I tend to doubt that God works like that #COULD he miraculously make me not feel things? of course #has he ever done that for me though? no not that I've ever noticed #so I would have to conclude that my emotions exist for a reason and I need to learn things by actually facing up to them #and I am trying to learn how to do that #but to be open and honest about my feelings with this person who is close to me only to get the ask-the-Lord-to... brush-off - #I don't know ... it just reminds me of how I've ended up in this mess in the first place and it's frustrating #surely we could apply our faith in other ways besides using it as a veneer for repressing and bottling up emotion

[vigilante-izuku]

KENOBI EPISODE 6 SPOILERS

...

okay so i’ve been thinking about a fic where reader is sort of an engineer for the empire and works on building armor for the troopers or repairing them.

its lonely work. you don’t have assistants. no actual human coworkers. its just you and droids, designing, repairing, trying to improve the armor of the soldiers on the ship. you don’t really interact much with anyone else. you get requests and orders. you filled them. you move onto the next task. and repeat.

you’re expected to fix everyone on the ship’s armor. everyone--that including darth vader. however you’ve never actually had to repair his helmet or any of his armor for that matter. you got the schematics of his full suit of armor and you see how poorly designed its made. how outdated.

and you get bored sometimes...so maybe you tinker on little projects, ways to improve vader’s helmet/suit. how to make this sith lord more comfortable. and maybe you have several of those much improved helmets just waiting on a shelf, growing dusty. you never actually expect the plans to reach the light of day. he has never requested your services before.

and then one day you’re getting a comm that lord vader is needing your service and be prepared for his arrival soon.

your spine feels like a stiff rod, standing up so straight your back aches from it. heart thundering in your chest with fear of darth vader’s reputation. his anger. the doors open and you hold your breath.

you’re not expecting his haggard appearance. the labored wheezing. you don’t even see the cracked helmet at first with his body doubled over. you forget all the stories about him, your own sanity, as you rush over to his side, wrapping an arm around his back and help him inside.

its once he’s sitting down that you notice the helmet almost split apart. you see the glimpse of his scarred pale flesh.

you don’t expect him to have blue eyes.

#eri's ideas #darth vader x reader #anakin skywalker x reader #so what happens next is that youre helping him of course #switching him into a much better suit #more improved to help his breathing #and at first he's too weak to even speak #to ask you about it #so he returns and studies your designs #and slowly falls in love with you #and eventually removes his helmet in your presence because he trusts you so much

[imwritesometimes]

the "I already bought tickets to go see Indy again next week" moodboard

#actually factually finalized the purchase it's happening same seats and everything lmfao #I am being very irritating abt this I'm not sorry I had so much fun today and I loved this movie to bits #and I'm so happy this is how we as fans get to close Indy's adventures like. #it didn't just feel like half-hearted fan service bullshit it was really well done which I'll be honest #I was not expecting. there are def call backs of course to the previous films #but it didn't feel like heavy handed or cheap #they really did a good job of like. making it feel authentic like. not just a shitty rehash idk for me #it felt like. so appropriate. like he's an old man now. time has passed. they don't just like wallpaper over that #it just has idk so much heart. like the old og movies it's fantastical but there's so much heart #idk I really liked it. it felt like watching the old ones. the old ones had so much heart. that's why you loved indy! #he was a smart ass but he was earnest too and he had heart and he cared and like ahhhhhhhhhh!!! #it's just. idk idk idk I feel like it's such a great close to the adventures for massive Indy nerds like myself #lmao I asked my mom tonight like when was the last time you watched any of the movies #cause you mught wanna rewatch before we go #and she was like well it has been a while cause you don't live here anymore #and I was like I know. I'm never like six months removed from the last time I watched an Indy #and she was like I know it's your religion I know #I just. I loved it. a lot. I really did. as a massive Indy nerd I really did just enjoy it a lot. more than kotcs #but I firmly believe w/o kotcs it wouldn't have been so fuckin good like omg #erin explains it all

[ohyeahben10]

Okay, I know you had a post regarding Myaxx staying the same in the Gwen 10 universe, but hear me out: Myaxx and Tetrax swapping roles in the Gwen 10 universe.

Mainly because I think Myaxx and Gwen would have a really fun dynamic and I want her to have a badass honorary alien mom to contrast Ben Prime having Tetrax as his badass honorary alien dad.

So long story short, this was actually my first thought regarding these characters. While I found it to be a very appealing idea, I felt like due to so many small things stacking up against the idea (Prime Ben & Tetrax’s bond being based on how he’s the same species as one of his transformations, the prospect of what Myaxx would teach Gwen like how Trax taught Ben, me not seeing a reason my Myaxx wouldn’t stay with Zennith, etc, etc), I felt like I couldn’t commit to the concept.

However, after thinking about it for a while, I think there’s a way to combine both this idea and the concept for Gw10 Myaxx I previously went with.

Myaxx role swapping with Tetrax doesn’t have to be taken to the most literal extreme. She doesn’t have to disguise herself and pose as a bounty hunter to stop Vilgax from collecting the Omnitrix.

Instead she can take the role of Tetrax in a more conceptual sense, a very cool alien character that greatly impacts the Omnitrix welder, who then later returns as a trusted figure so they can continue being very cool.

A part of Myaxx’s work was collecting DNA samples for the Omnitrix, traveling around throughout the galaxy. So one could argue that instead of Myaxx staying on Galvan Prime she conducts her work on her own, perhaps on a ship that takes her to whatever planets she needs, only meeting with Zennith when needed (this could also be used to explain wherever Prime Myaxx is meant to be).

So Tetrax does still probably meet Gwen in the equivalent to Hunted but other than that Myaxx would take his place.

#i of course don’t really WANT to remove tetrax #but I don’t think he’d be as interesting here because I don’t think he would click with gwen as he did ben #my asks #ben 10 #gwen tennyson #tetrax shard #myaxx #myaxx ben 10 #gwen 10

[hymnism]

wait i didnt realise nucarnival was a specifically yaoi game i thought it was a regular gacha game with a horny fanbase

oh yeah there is zenis onscreen in that game

#there is a version in the play store that has all the sex removed of course but the actual game is bl #asks