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#will it ever get better
bee26s · 2 years
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weeks of feeling happy
until one night
the guilt
and sadness
washed over me
so quickly
my overthinking thoughts
always get the better of me
HB
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sophielovesbooks · 3 months
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So... I haven't been sick since August. Everybody else seems to be, though. In many cases with Covid.
I'm going to an academic conference in early January. Or at least that's the plan. But of course I'll be seeing family over the holidays, going places, attending my friend's birthday party...
It feels inevitable that I'll catch Covid and miss the conference. In fact, I'd almost bet on it. And it's such a shitty feeling because I'm in this constant stage of vigilance and pessimism and ahhh. 😔😔😔 And it would be my first time actually presenting my own research at an international conference and I want to go so badly. But... we'll see, I guess.
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lesbiangummybearmafia · 6 months
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Why is it no matter what I do it isn't the correct thing. Am I just doomed? Even at the same time I'm actively trying to change my actions, my behavior. I just feel lost, in ever twisting maze. But the maze is changing and adapting constantly, so there is no to ever find my way out.
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delacately-divine · 1 year
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poem-or-the-poet · 1 year
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Seeing Is Believing
If I manifest the pain I'm in,
to something I can see,
Maybe it'll be easier to handle.
If I mark myself as damaged,
If I carve it out in red
Maybe I can begin to understand it.
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queenofthe07seas · 1 year
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I don't know where to start so I'll start by saying this. I grew up in a pentecostal/apostolic church and was heavily taught about hell and how "God's Mercy" doesn't last forever & He'll eventually stop forgiving. I was also taught that the world is going to end in fire, but most importantly there is no tolerance for LGBTQ and all who identifies this way is an abomination & will go to hell, No matter what.
As a child I would have dreams of the earth breaking open under my feet and everyone around me (church peers at the time) would not be affected but I would fall into the earth/fire burning and screaming and it felt so real. I swear I could feel the heat/burning, I could smell the smoke, etc. (I also have asthma so when it would act up while I was sleeping it made the nightmares even worse made me feel like I was choking on the smoke from the fire.)
Fast forward to 2018 during the Carr Fire (about 10 years later) & the same EXACT dream came back EVERY NIGHT & it still comes back every once in a while, but it's worse. I haven't gotten this far talking with my counselor and I guess I just needed to write it out because it's really messing with my daily life.
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looking-for-paradies · 10 months
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It’s been almost 6 months without you. Why do I still miss you like crazy. Why can’t I go a day without crying my eyes out and screaming in my car. I hate this life
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mrsmatt · 2 years
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I don’t want to go into any details but my heart was broken this morning by someone I met on here. I may be taking a break from here I haven’t decided yet. In the meantime if you want to send me some cute things of Matthew I’d appreciate it
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apoeticdiary · 5 months
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I just want a hand to hold.
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astearisms · 7 months
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part of a sadness
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blueskittlesart · 2 months
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zl wedding (again)
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carnivalcarrion · 10 months
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world's longest staring contest GO-
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rainbowbeanstyles · 1 year
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shopping is the worst
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thatweirdtranny · 1 month
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i want every trans kid out there to know there is hope, you will grow up and become a trans adult, you’ll be a trans elder someday and give hope to future trans kids, just keep on hanging on
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angstydiaz · 9 months
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can i just say the weird standard people try and hold queer romcoms(and queer media but) in general is so weird
its always "its too juvenile" and "its too wholesome" but then its "this is too sexualised" and apparently queer ppl having sex scenes is automatically "fetishizing". Always "too corny" "too angsty" and dont get me started on people who act like something has to be bad representation just because they didn't like it
"its cringey" it is a fucking romcom bro. like half of the appeal of a romcom is the kinda cringey fun of it all . not your thing? fine go watch something that is,not being the audience for something is fine but god stop acting like one romcom is gonna dismantle the movement for queer rights.
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whaliiwatching · 8 months
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diagnoses u with fanfic tags
yeah i caved. welcome spideysona
their universe is 1990s san francisco. by day they work as a struggling writer for the bugle, sort of following in the footsteps of (movie-adjacent) eddie brock; by night they’re spider-scrawl, fighting systemic injustice, writers’ block, and the occasional mad scientist invention. his world is less rife with supernatural evils than most, but he’s also fucking with the government and corporations and all, so it balances out
their unique thing is that they have, like, shitty meta clairvoyance in the form of inherently understanding tropes, clichés, story structure, etc. like if cinemasins/wins were a superhero. they were approached to join the society because miguel thought they’d be chill or even helpful with canon events—unfortunately scribble here is not whatsoever into following rigid plot structure for the sake of unnecessary thematic suffering, saw the plot twist a miles away, and peaced. but not before snagging a day pass so they could watch atsv in person
they never take off their mask, and no one knows their name—he says it’s because he doesn’t want to lose his identity in a sea of spider-people, leading most to theorize that san-fran-spidey is some flavor of peter parker, but who’s to say for sure? the doylist reason, which he is in fact aware of, is that i don’t know either lol
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